#just so we can see that monsters are also people with hearts and shouldnt be treated as less
ok i got nothing else to do so here's a transcript of the whole trauma talk
philza stream july 22nd 3:26:06
Tallulah: if i think u were paranoid, he is even more. y'all need a break
Phil: i mean it's cuz we've like experienced some kind of loss with the eggs, right? so, we've had the nightmare, alright. Chayanne lost a life to neglect cuz of misscommunication. Tallulah, you lost a life to the code monster...
Phil: Like we've felt what it's like to have you guys dissappear from our grasp, right? you've like- you've dissapeared from this world briefly, and we know what it's like. Like i-i've personally know what it's like, for you guys to fucking dissapear entirely like, the nightmare happened and i thought that was it, i was like "fuck well, it's done" and i felt so empty, right?
Phil: I-I genuenly felt like i lost a hardcore world, like- the 5 year world that i lost? that's what it felt like, i was like fucking miserable. And then bad uh- lost dapper like- like in a weird glitch type thing, and that got reverted. But when it happened, you can hear it in his voice like, he was distraught like- theres like a bond that we share even if is playing block game, you know?
Phil: we're just hanging out like, i wanna protect you guys with everything i can. everything i have i wanna protect you with, you know? but... i understand that i can't protect you for everything, so i just try to protect you from that i can, so... (and ooc out-of-character, i think everyone watching is incredibly invested also -laughs-, we're in the same boat)
Tallulah: It's understandable, thanks for sharing how u feel with us i'll be more careful
Phil: that's okay, you- you- you're very careful already tallulah, it's chayanne that fucking dives head first into danger all the time. He's- he's a bit more reserved now, you can do that chayanne when like theres more people, its fine, cuz then we can look after you, we can back you up. But when its just me and you, or me, you and tallulah.... we gotta- we gotta stick together, alright? we've seen all kinds of strange things happen
Chayanne: i mean, gosh i'm bad with words!!!
Phil: yeah, its alright. im just gonna throw some blocks out of my inventory
Tallulah: i gotchu brother
Phil: awww -laughs- gotta back eachother up, back eachother up guys
Tallulah: you show more with ur actions chay, that's more than enough
Chayanne: i dont want to die, i wont die soon, i take everything you showed us seriously
Phil: (overlaps) guessing "super seriously", yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Phil: You know what i think makes it more stressful? Is that us players can't see your health, right? So like, we don't iknow how close you are to danger, we can't- you can't talk to us mid fight, alright? like, you talk to us throught signs and books and stuff but like, we have to go through body language alone to figure out how in danger you are... You can't tell us, you dont have like a button to press, you don't have- there's like nothing to indicate that you're extremely low on health or in peril, alright?
Phil: So it makes it more stressful for the players and the people watching cuz we dont know, so i have to just be super fucking careful... And just treat it like you're on like barely any heart all the time, just in case
Chayanne: Thank you so much for that, when the giant squid grabbed me i was shaking-
Phil: -laughs- Oh god
Tallulah: Thank you for being such a good mentor (and father figure) i can't promise i might not die, but i will fight if i have to-
Phil: Oh i absolutely believe you'll do your absolute best to survive tallulah
Chayanne: When the giant squid grabbed me i was shaking bc i thought that was the end of it
Phil: Yeah- that was terrifying yeah, it's so- it's so like stressful
Tallulah: -to still be here with you all. i promised my papa and i make that promise to you
Phil: Aww, thank you Tallulah, thank you.
Phil: I feel like there's enough counter-measures in place that- realistically um it shouldnt be- nothing bad would happen like- you souldn't lose a life but.. You know me, and I- you know how im- I just I know that multiple bad things can stack on top of eachother and cause a really bad thing to happen, so like we have to be just careful of that, you know? You can be prepared for anything but there's always gonna be ways that you'll be unprepared for something, alright
Phil: so- as long as we just prepare as much as we can and just be extra safe and not put ourselves in unnecessary danger then.. These situations that could happen can't happen. The only thing we can't prevent against really, or we can prevent it a little bit- but we can't really prevent it is when the code monster decides to take the life from an egg cuz.. You've seen it first hand, it does not give up
Chayanne: So yeah, it's not a good feeling ;_;
Phil: Yeah... I'm glad you guys are in the same page
Tallulah: In conclusion: we need to go to tio Roier's therapy sessions
Phil: -laughs- Is Quackity paying for it, yeah? Quackity got that on lock, it's like and insurance- it's like a company insurance, like a benefit you have for working with the server. its like "okay so uhh, who needs to book a therapy session today" everyone raises their hand at the same time, good god. Yeah, we'll go to family therapy together, we'll work it out, we'll work it out
edit: minor spelling mistake </3
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HELLO. I PLAYED JEDI SURVIVOR TODAY
i just left coruscant and im chilling in the mantis. its late and i have a busy day tomorrow so i dont wanna stay up all night. heres my first thoughts
it is visually STUNNING!! i was genuinely so shocked at how beautiful the home page is. all of the uis are stylized similarly to jfo, but its polished and new in a way that i really appreciate. a standout addition in the options menu was an arachnophobia safe mode. i think its awesome how they’re making this game accessible to people with phobias like that. i don’t know what this spider monster will be like, but it must be kinda intense to warrant an option like that. but it also made me think, “why just arachnophobia?” because including something like this opens the door to other pressing phobias that can prevent people from playing. i have thalassophobia, and the venator crash section in jfo was very dimly lit and it was so much i almost wasnt able to get the 5 or so chests hidden away in there. underwater sections in games can be a nightmare for me if they aren’t lit well and it freaks me the hell out. i wonder if they considered other phobias like mine, or what exactly drove them to this decision. i guess i need to just wait and see.
the graphics and worldbuilding are incredible. its so beautiful and the level design is noticeably upgraded. i have only been through a short linear area, but it’s great so far. everything is very very seamless (the gameplay to cutscene transitions.. fuck its perfect). there were some portions where the interactable surfaces blended in a bit too well, and i was also not used to the way they looked, and i found myself a little stuck in some parts. not to where its an issue, this happened in the jfo tutorial as well, but it was all just very seamless. coruscant is fucking beautiful and the vast cities, neon lights, and other little design details made me so happy. half my gameplay was just me gawking at the scenery around me.
let’s talk plot. i noticed that a lot of these first cutscenes closely follow what we saw in the first teaser trailer. that man (forogt his name..), cals lightsaber in the case, him losing a battle to an inquisitor, beautiful beautiful coruscant. the only thing missing is the character that cody fern plays, who is clearly very important to this game. but despite his importance, they’re keeping every detail they can hidden from us. i havent seen him yet as i’m not even in koboh, but i can’t wait. i love cody fern and i know he will do a great job in this game. that aside, from what i’ve seen so far, i’m really happy. i absolutely love bode and was not prepared for how much i would enjoy his and cal’s banter. and knowing me, of COURSE i couldnt help but make jokes over and over again about romance between them. my worst one was probably, after the reveal that bode’s baby mama died, i gasped and said “YAY!!!” ..anyway. i FORGET HER NAME but the girl that was apart of cal’s crew stole my heart. i thought she was so cute and i loved her personality and dialogue. and then they killed her off 😭 i knew i shouldnt have gotten attached but i couldnt help myself!!! rest in peace girl whose name ive already forgotten.
the customization is such an upgrade. and it also leaves for some hilarious results. you know i went all out with the blindingly pink lightsaber and blade. i did it to bd too and he looked crazy and i felt bad so i gave him a pink and purple look. i got the deluxe version so i have the luke and han outfits along with some blue and green color choices, bd parts, and lukes lightsaber. im gonna hold off on customizing my lightsaber too much until i get some more parts. the joy of this game is being able to mix and match! and for cal, the no beard option is genuinely scary and he looks naked😭
gameplay is so smooth and SEXY. loving the two bladed sabers so far. i am a double lightsaber girl because of darth mauls influence but i know its better suited for crowds of enemies rather than one on one (in jfo at least). i might upgrade it a bit though because wow the animations are just beautiful for that stance.
i think thats about all i have to say. oh cal is absolutely GORGEOUS. excited to play more of this tomorrow and i am just really happy depression cured 10/10 game
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I had an okay day
The last month I've been talkative and not too down
But then like a switch
I feel like I'm being pulled under the water again
My mind is chanting stick a knife in your throat
You're disgusting
I hate looking myself in the mirror
I haven't been drinking water
So ofcourse my face looks like a monster
I haven't been moving ofcourse my body is disgusting
I don't have a personality ,I'm as bland as they come
I'm a fraud,an imposter
I'm a bad person who loses interest in people and then blame them for not caring enough
I'm pathetic because I expect people to care when I'm already pushing everyone away
Lately most shows I watch with mum there has been a suicide
And she'll comment something like Amejiua
And she has zero awareness that I am thinking and planning on how to die
There are so many people who have potential and are good people and have the will to live but they die
I wish I could give them my life
You might be wondering..ah..she was so weak and such a coward..did she expect us to read her mind...why didn't she ask for help...she knows we love her and we supported her
Maybe I'm wrong
I'm a lazy ass bitch who can't get off her ass and look for work
I've wasted everybody's time and money
Mum and dad must have spent a fortune on my education
But lil sad Gin...poor Gin...just take your meds and integrate into society and stop being so pathetic
You expect people to wake up and serve you
What a joke....can I just sleep and never wake up again
Why am I so resistant to God
People seem to have their lives together when they believe and trust in God
I don't really try to make an effort to get to know him
The being in charge of me
The being who supposedly loves me so much he brought me to existence to fulfill some type of purpose when I'm on earth....the one who will send my soul straight to an eternity of pain and misery
Gin...you think being this privileged is so miserable
Wait till you're in purgatory and burning in hell for an eternity
Why the fuck are you so resistant
I think it's because I'm exhausted
I don't want to be helped
Maybe I deserve an eternity for suffering
You're nothing but a waste of space
Taking up oxygen that someone else needs
Like I lie in bed and let mum slave herself with house chores
Like Fuck Gin....you could at least be helpful if you're going to lazy around in bed and eat free food and get free shelter and clothes and electricity and comfort
I mean why the fuck do you feel like you're suffering
What the fuck is wrong with me
JUST TAKE THE KNIFE AND PLUNGE IT IN YOUR HEART
YOU DESERVE A PAINFUL DEATH
YOU ARE NOT A GOOD DAUGHTER
YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SISTER
YOU ARE NOT A GOOD NIECE
YOU ARE NOT A GOOD GRANDCHILD
YOU ARE NOT A GOOD FRIEND
YOU ARE NOT A GOOD HUMAN
SO HURRY UP AND STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY
THE MORE YOU PRETEND PEOPLE NEED YOU
THE MORE IM HURTING THEM, NO ONE NEEDS YOU
I MEAN THEY WILL BE HURT AND BETRAYED BY MY SELFISHNESS 😂😂😂🤣SEE EVEN IN DEATH YOU ARE A MISERY TO EVERYONE‼️
YOUR COALS TO BURN YOU ALIVE FOR ETERNITY ARE ALREADY BEING LIT
I MEAN I DONT WANT TO GO TO HELL
IM NOT EVIL
I DONT WANT TO BE ON LUCIFER'S OR GOD'S SIDE
I JUST DONT WANT TO BE ON ANYONE'S SIDE
I DONT WANT TO EXIST
I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOES ON AFTER ONE DIES...BUT CAN I JUST PLEASE DISSAPPEAR AND CEASE TO EXIST
LOOK AT YOU GIN
RUNNING AWAY FROM LIFE LIKE A COWARD
AND ALSO TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM MY PUNISHMENT
I FEEL LIKE I CANT BREATHE
I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS BEING SQUEEZED SO HARD
YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO HUMAN SOCIETY
YOU SEXUALITY
YOUR MINDSET
NO ONE NEEDS SUCH FILTH,DIRTY STAINS IN THEIR LIVES
I WAS HERE BUT I WAS NEVER HERE
YOU SAID HELLO ONCE OR TWICE
SO MY DEPARTURE FROM EXISTING SHOULDNT AFFECT YOU AT ALL
JUST ATTEND MY SENDING AWAY BTS THEMED "FUNERAL"...CRY A LITTLE...REMINISCE SOME OLD TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES
FOR MY FAMILY...I AM EXTREMELY PROFOUNDLY SORRY TO MY FAMILY...I WISH I COULD ERASE MYSELF IN A NOT SO TRAUMATIC WAY..LIKE A PHYSICAL ILLNESS OR SOMETHING...THATS EASIER TO ACCEPT AND MOVE ON
BUT MAYBE LEARN FROM ME
IT MIGHT BE PAINFUL
BUT PLEASE GROW CLOSER AS A FAMILY
STAND TOGETHER AND LOVE THE HELL OUT OF ONE ANOTHER
To be completely transparent and honest,Bangtan are a very high reason why I never stick a knife in my throat esp Park Jimin...I keep telling myself to wait and see what they do next....they will never know they had someone who loved them so much that they were my life jackets,my beam of light...they will never know of my existence as an individual and that's okay...it's been a great journey with them...they made me see the beauty of life but unfortunately the darkness won....I CAN BREATHE TOTALLY FINE BUT I CANT BREATHE....MY LUNGS ARE BURNING..MY MIND IS SCREAMING....DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE WHY WONT YOU DIE YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT....🤮🤮🤮YOU DISGUST ME..NOTHING ABOUT YOU IS LOVEABLE...WELL YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE..THEY CANT HATE YOU...GOD STRIKE ME DOWN..IM AN EMBARRASSMENT AND A WASTE OF SPACE, A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM...PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND ERASE ME...PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND JUST MAKE ME DISSAPPEAR NEVER TO EXIST AGAIN..PLEAS HAVE MERCY ON ME AND FORGIVE ME
PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND DONT CONDEMN ME TO AN ETERNITY OF PAIN AND SUFFERING
GIN.....WHAT IS RHHSSUEYEHKSKAUJDJKDJWJEJJEJEJJEJWJJRJDJJAKSJDIIE...IM TIRED AND EXHAUSTED AND DONE
PLEASE DONT HATE ME
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
I don't own any of this photos credit to the original owners
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I see what you meant with that tag. The origin of the mummy in mainstream horror started in 1932. most things taken in by western media are distorted by misunderstanding and finding it scary because it is "other" and mummies were considered a thing to fear due to the "curses" that were often found at the site of their burial along with "strange" burial process; the desecration of sealed tombs of Pharaohs with curses written in stone and their bodies preserved in such a way etc the mummy became akin to something between a spurned ghost and a zombie. something to be feared for the sake of fearing death and what comes after. mummies are a heart and an echo and when brought into western culture, a disturbance of peace. theres lots of interesting articles written on mummies in horror. a lot of people think they don't get their due. i think if anything they deserve justice just like so many facets of horror turned into monsters against their will before them. let them have their heart. and their revenge. its also interesting because mumification is not solely an ancient Egyptian process either and can be found in other cultures. but that time in history of western men seeking and destroying to "preserve" history (namely most all history i guess), thats where it takes its roots in media. simply put let the mummy rest. or feel the wrath of their curse.
Yeah. ill be honest, my best understanding is: western "archeologists" discovered king tuts tomb, which was a relatively small tomb but was so influential with being The One that got noticed by the west and kicked off the whole ancient egyptian craze in the west.
It wasnt until a few years ago when i heard criticism abt mummies (i think cuz of the tom cruise mummy movie that flopped lol) that i was like "....huh you're just right..." so i dont have the best grasp of the topic. im just aware of the issue ig
You seem to have a much better and deeper understanding of the whole issue tho. idk abt much of the history of them or influence into horror or other horror icons. and im curious abt your take on "let mummies have their justice and revenge in horror" vs. the "do away with mummies as a horror concept"
I just kinda leaned on "do away with making them a horror icon," im just a white american guy so anytime ppl criticize something harmful or insensitive concerning western impact on the world i just try to listen as best i can rather than like, try and justify or defend the effects as they are today (i see it a lot with "this thing is racist" being met with "okay but no one sees it as racist and im not racist so-" which just, lol is a hill to die on ig). so when i heard the mummy thing i defaulted to "okay we shouldnt encourage mummies in horror"
I kinda feel like mummies less commonely shown in media today compared to vampires/zombies/ghosts etc. idk if its bias or not. if they are less shown tho, i wonder if its companys just not wanting to deal with potential PC issues with it?
Tangent but its always fun when companies end up making a relatively good action for the wrong reasons. like, company decries NFTs cuz it makes them more money, not cuz of energy consumption/fraud/invasion of privacy of personal lives or something, just cuz its money so we get to cheer like "wow your parasitic scum existence helped us! you're still my enemy tho 😌"
With other cultures, the only kind of burial that i saw or learned about growing up was the terracotta army for that Chinese Emporer's grave, which yeah. just kinda shows the bias we have. caring for the dead and the afterlife is a universal trait shared across the world and throughout history
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Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players
aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update
PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen
Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch
"Fck this game, i've had enough,"
"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"
Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"
"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"
His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see
"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"
Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far
"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"
"I think i get your fav character?"
"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"
"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"
Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long
"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"
"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"
"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"
"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"
"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"
!!!!
It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it
Type of player
Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner
Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month
"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully
He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!
He's very lucky. Very
Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.
'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'
'I want to be like him'
Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home
"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish
"not NOW!!" Clicks
The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.
Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.
"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"
He will be a c6 bennett haver!!
Type of player :
Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.
Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.
Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.
Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.
He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.
Everyone loves his teapot
Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real
"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"
"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"
"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"
"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"
'Bp?'
"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies
"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"
She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon
"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"
"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"
Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."
Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly
"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS
Type of player :
Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going
She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka
Ayaka main btw
Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out
Fragile resin = 0
Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon
"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"
"But i cant,"
Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there
Only coops if mitsuri is there
"So that someone can calm me down,"
"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"
Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.
"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"
"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"
"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"
"Oh yeah i know,"
"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"
"i just know right after you told me,"
"...."
Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something
"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"
"But the next banner is zhongli's,"
"....."
"Ah fuck it," buys
My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists
"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"
That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person
"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears
Type of player :
Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants
Zhongli main
Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it
"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"
Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it
Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs
Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.
"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"
His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it
They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately
Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears
"Zhongli main forever,"
Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.
Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.
"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"
"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"
Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit
"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"
"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"
In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team
"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems
"Tengen, you should control yourself!"
"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"
"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops
Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.
"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"
"Who do you main uzui?"
"Beidou,"
Type of player
Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs
R5 every battle pass weapon
Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff
Mona wanter
Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery
Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs
Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers
Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down
Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it
In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"
Doesnt heals his characters
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Manager!Seijoh IWA ROUTE
a/n: uwuwuwuwuwu my mans iwa chan :’)
IM A SIMP FOR IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER
uwu filo!iwa in this :)
and also, listen to lauv while reading this since i wrote this and that song was playing on repeat O_O and also this song
this is my self-request uwu
HES SUCH A POUTY BABIE BLS LOVE ON HIM
onwards we goooo
hihihihihihi yey im so excited for this yall dont even know
ANYWAYS
so,,,,
when iwa first saw you, he thought you were just a cute little thing
your shorter height, your puffy cheeks, and the wide eyes you had whenever you saw someone, or him, do a really cool spiking move
he initially thought of you as a cute little sister hes never had
ehehe that finna change
then the,,,, bullying thing happened
if youd like to read this part, its right here
when he saw you bloodied, all battered,
dear lordie he was finna break some ankles
ONG I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT SANGWOO YET HERE I AM
like that image of you will probably stay in his memory until he dies of the ripe age of 200
ngl it kinda traumatized him a little bit of how tired and pained you look with the tears rolling down your face and the blood that was escaping your body through your wounds
god you didnt deserve any of that
you deserved the world and the universe yet some people dared to take away your worth
ooo he was so mad
miyo was,,,, hurt??
can i say that??
i dont wanna,,,, explain bara arms iwa hurting a girl so youre gonna have to imagine that for yourselves
but at the end when they said slap, he didnt just ✨S L A P ✨ her
he ✨ B R O K E S O M E A N K L E S ✨
oiks is actually scared of him after that
like oiks had to peel him off of her and towards the infirmary where you and the team were
‘IWAIZUMI HAJIME, STOP!’
oof the first and last time oikawa tooru ever said that full name
he was breathing heavy and he was so ✨ A N G R Y ✨ with what she did to you yet he hears your soft scoldings, telling him off for hurting a girl
he wanted to see you
like right now
iwa tore himself from oikawa’s grasp and ✨ N Y O O M E D ✨ himself to the nurse’s office
there, you sat on the bed with the others scattered either on other beds or on the floor
you smiled at the sight of him and he walked towards you and engulfed you in his arms
‘youre okay now. im here’
he whispered and you buried your face into his chest, breathing in his unique scent
lavender mixed with peppermint
he refused to leave your side so he ✨ M A D E ✨ some room on the bed beside you to sit and he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close
you held his hand while oikawa talked to you and as you shamefully bowed your head
but you were forgiven and everything was all good until the third years really got into plan
makki and mattsun promised to handle it all as they had family in the justice field while oikawa would go and get the girl suspended
‘but what about me?! i want-’
‘iwaizumi, you literally hit her. it’d be best if you’re not involved right now as you were the only one who physically touched her in a harmful manner like that’
ong when it come to y/n, the meme team is replaced by the assassin team
he tried to fight but in the end, 3 overpowered 1 and he was forced to sit back and opted to comfort you instead
he made sure you were safe to walk home but that day, you were the one who asked him to spend time with him
just you two
like after seeing him seethingly enter back into the room, you reached out and held his hand in yours, eyes trained on your fingers fiddling with his
‘iwa-san,,,, you said you downloaded the new godzilla movie?’
you whispered but he could still hear you and his heart swelled at your meek voice
‘yea, i did. and my mom bought those chips you like’
your eyes flitted up to meet his eyes and a soft smile spread on your lips and there was this thumping in his heart
maybe that was the first time that iwaizumi hajime felt differently towards you
a smile that seemed to be differently perceived than the rest
and it wasnt for the whole team
it was for him
and him alone
the trek to his house was quiet but you would hum nursery rhymes or the songs you heard earlier in the radio while skipping every few steps and tightly holding on to his hand
iwaizumi’s olive eyes watched you still radiate energy despite being so hurt for a long time
they then trailed to your linked hands and he unintentionally squeezed it, only figuring out he did it when you looked up to him and squeezed it back with a smile
he wanted to do something to make you forget of what happened
he didnt want you to think about the cruelty and pain so he was going to make sure you would continue smiling
thankfully, his parents werent home so he wouldnt have to explain why he has a bandage-covered girl with him
iwa led you upstairs to where his room was and your eyes widened when you saw what was inside
tiny action figurines of animes like bakugo from boku no hero academia or a tiny pikachu on his desk
there was a large country flag that you didnt recognize and a few godzilla posters and volleyball players decorating beside it
however, besides those normal things you wouldve expected,
there were many polaroids
polaroid pictures that were everywhere with no specific layout pattern and just placed anywhere that had room
iwa watched as you dazedly walked forward and entered the room to move towards the wall by his desk that had the most pictures against it
from pictures of him and oikawa to the third years to him and his parents or just the sunrise and human silhouettes
your fingers reached forward and traced the picture of him and the third years when they were still first years and took a spontaneous trip to the beach
‘mattsun stole his dad’s car and drove us to the beach without a license’
iwaizumi’s voice answered your questions and you looked back, shimmering eyes
this room,,, wasnt just a normal, teenage boy’s room
this was a room that represented iwaizumi hajime
from his natural character description like his love for volleyball evident in the volleyball player posters to the underneath description that was hidden like his love for godzilla and his love of taking pictures of the people he cares about the most
it was all that made up iwaizumi hajime
your feet took you to stand in front of him, still standing at the doorway, and you stood on your toes to try and be eye-level with him
‘youre really cool, iwa-san’
you whispered and his ears turned red, not from the compliment, but by the close distance between you two
iwa clearedhis throat and ruffled your hair roughly, pushing you down slightly back to the balls of your feet
‘i already knew that, brat. now go and sit over there and be comfortable or whatever while i go get the food’
he hurriedly turned to hide his growing red face but you stopped him
‘iwa-san,,, ano,,, can,, i borrow a hoodie?’
you mumbled, nervously thinking he might refuse
but he grunted a response, not bothering to turn around
‘take your pick’
you smiled and thanked him before bounding over to the wardrobe that was pushed against the wall across his bed that was against the corner by his window
inside had so many hoodies and there were also shirts that were hung up on the other half
they were all graphic tees that either had american bands or anime or game references
opting for a mint green hoodie that says ‘SONIC NYOOM’, you had an undershirt under your button up and as you slipped the bloodied long sleeve off, he swung the door open, eyes focused on the tray of coke filled glasses
then he looked up and almost dropped it at the sight of you,,, like that
‘OH MY GOD SORRY’
he shrieked and carefully but hurriedly backtracked back to the hallway
ofc you were shocked too but you quickly put the hoodie on and went to get him
iwaizumi’s heart was hammering in his chest and he was VERY red with embarrassment
how could he see you like that?!
a girl who wasnt his shouldnt be seen like that by his eyes!
a touch on his arm reminded him of his position and he was still holding the tray but it was clear from the liquid in the cups that he was shaking slightly
‘iwa-san, its okay. i still had a shirt on so dont misunderstand’
you reasoned and he nodded, still not looking at you
the beginning of the movie was quite awkward as you both were sitting next to each other on the floor, backs against his mattress while the laptop played godzilla in front of yall
but it seems it was just him who was feeling this way bc you were intrigued at this weird monster that was squshing building under its foot and you continued munching on the food
iwa stood up and coughed
‘im going to take a shower’
you paused it and stared up at him, a chip halfway in your mouth
‘oh? you want me to wait for you?’
he agressively shook his head
‘no! its okay i watched it already. just,,,, watch it’
at the end, his words came out jumbled in his hurry to go and calm his heart down
you shrugged and unpaused the movie to continue watching
iwa spent his time in the shower, thinking and trying to think of stupid thoughts like the time oikawa almost choked on a peanut when they were in middle school to distract him of thoughts of how adorable you were
ONG HE WAS JUST SHOWERING AND INNOCENTLY DOING SHOWER THINGS
‘no, i said she was like a sister to me. and a sister she’ll remain’
okay ngl even though theyre not related, im worried yall would be like ‘iNcESt’ but bls a lot of people have tried to sibling-zoned people yet realized they liked them in THAT way
as he wrapped himself with a towel, he then realized
oh my god he didnt bring clothes
LMAO NOOOO IWAAAAA
iwa frantically looked around and he saw his mother’s sakura themed robe and he paused, arguing silently with him if he should wear it
well, it was either that or he went back into the room and showed you,,,,,, this
sucking in a sharp breath, he kept the towel around his waist and slipped his arms through the tight arm holes and he awkwardly tried to keep it tied since he was so much bigger than his tiny mom
what is happening
you saw the door opening and excitedly turned to tell him about this one scene when your voice died down in your throat at the sight of him
here was iwaizumi hajime, ultra muscle buff man who gets abs with a simple glance of the gym, wearing an all too-tight pink, cherry blossom print robe that was so tight the tie around it was shaking to keep it together
‘dont’
he whispered and that snapped your remaining surprise to double over in laughter
‘its so cute! iwa-san, youre so cute!’
you shrieked and he growled and hurriedly went to to grab grey sweatpants and a shirt before running straight back to the bathroom
when he finally came back out, his face was still red and he was pouting as he sat next to you back to his seat
he could feel you staring at him while looking constipated as you held your laugh in and the second your eyes met, your giggles fell out
iwa rolled his eyes
‘yes yes let it out’
‘hehe, iwa-san, i didnt know you had that style’
‘it isnt! i didnt want to walk in here practically naked with you in the room!’
he growled and you nodded, still not quite believing it
‘hai hai. just say you like pink, i wont tell’
you waved and iwa felt offended
‘what do you mean ‘hai hai’?! its really not!’
your lips pursed to keep more giggles in and iwa growled again before lunging to grab your sides and tickling you
of course being careful to not touch your wounds
you shrieked at the ticklish feeling and iwa laughed as you made weak attempts to push him off
‘huh? what was that? whatd you say? cant talk anymore, can ya?’
he teased
‘NO!!!! IWA-SAAAAN!!!!!’
you shouted in between your laughter and he finally let up when you squealed out your apologies and promised to never say it again
you breathed air into your lungs and sat back up to recollect yourselves
iwa saw the strands that escaped your bun and they were scattered everywhere looking messy with your flushed cheeks and teary eyes
oh my god you were beautiful
he was so happy that you still kept that smile despite what happened and he was going to fight to keep it there
forever
it was about nearly the end when you finally realized how different iwaizumi’s hair looked
‘oi, iwa-san, your hair is not naturally spiky?’
he continued eating the chips while still watching the movie
‘what would you expect? even shittykawa’s hair is like this. did ya know that he wakes up extra early to curl it into that shitty mess?’
your jaw dropped
‘EEEHHHH???!!!!!!!’
later, you asked him how he does his hair for school and he blindly reached for the gel that was resting on his desk before tossing it to you
‘here’
you looked at it and flickered over to his hair and then you had the greatest realization
‘GODZILLA-SAMA!’
you pointed and he stopped eating, turning to give you a confused look
‘ha?’
you shrieked in an another round of laughter
‘IWA-SAN LIKES GODZILLA-SAMA SO MUCH HE DOES HIS HAIR AFTER HIM!!!!’
you doubled over to the floor, clutching your stomach and iwaizumi’s flustered expression made you laugh harder
he knew you were smart but,,, not this smart
you figured out his secret
the secret he’s hidden since he was practically a toddler
even his best friend, the guy hes known since he was born, never made the connection
yet here you are, figuring it out not even a year of knowing him
was this part of the many reasons he,, felt his heart beat for you?
oikawa was relieved that you had the bright twinkle in your eyes the next time he saw you and you were actively talking to iwaizumi in that early morning practice
‘oh? y/n-chan, is iwa-chan your best friend now?’
he tried not to sound jealous for his own best friend’s closeness to you and he added a teasing smile for extra measure
okay that hurted me a bit
iwaizumi snarled and blasted the volleyball towards his face before he could even yell or shout
‘iwa-san, dont do that’
you chided softly, small hands wrapping around his muscly arm
but iwa patted your head
‘deserving people deserve things to happen to them’
you rolled your eyes but smiled at him
‘hai hai’
the next week, iwa still kept a close eye on you in case someone else decided to mess with you
but you told him that you swear youd tell him if someone did and he trusts you so he backed off a little
one day, he was eating lunch with the other third years in their classroom when you busted through the door, excitedly holding your phone
‘iwa-san! i figured out what country your flag was!’
he was halfway of shoving rice in his mouth when iwa looked at you
‘oh? you couldve just asked me though?’
you pouted and went to pull a chair from another desk to sit beside him
‘nooo. i wanted to work for that information. so you’re from the philippines, iwa-san?’
he nodded proudly
‘yep’
your eyes shone with interest
‘really?! you look japanese so it must be one of your parents. hey, iwa-san, which island are you from? i read about them and they have like 7641 islands-’
the others watched as you read through the article in your phone and iwa wasnt even following your words, instead staring at you with a dazed look and a lovesick smile
mattsun, makki, and oikawa exchanged looks of surprise because in all the years theyve known him especially oikawa, iwa was never interested in girls and such
he was a straight forward man with goals and straight sight to get them done with no distractions like relationships or love
yet here he was
slowly falling in love with you without even knowing he is
he continued to fall with the simplest things about you
from the perfume that you wore everyday to the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear when you were talking to someone
little quirks he used to miss was now being noticed even if you were right behind him and not in his line of vision
now, the boys were starting to see the difference of their precious ace
it was as if when he started to like you, they knew immediately by how he was acting
then one day during practice, you were late and they were all looking around for you and when they couldnt find you, they met back in the gym with nervous looks
iwa was already pacing around, a scary aura radiating off of him, and kindaichi, who went with him to look around the school, warned the others of iwaizumi’s worry
‘he was slamming doors open and he was walking so fast i had to run to even keep up with him’
then you busted through the gym door
you were actually picking up food for the team and sweets and you were held up when makki’s puffs were still being cooked
they rallied around you to make sure you werent hurt and you assured them but iwa pulled them away like picked them up and threw them off to the side and took you in his arms
iwa thought you were hurt and he was so worried something happened to you again
the hug was bone-crushing with how hard he was squeezing you but you felt his worry though and you freed your arms to wrap them around his neck
‘im okay, iwa-san’
you whispered in his ear and he nodded
‘let me hold you for a second’
he mumbled and you nodded
‘oi, theres food in the bags so make sure you eat it all. coach paid for it all so dont leave behind anything’
the mention of the food distracted them from you and iwa and they piled on top of each other to reach their food first
iwa was grateful that you distracted the others from seeing him being vulnerable towards you
‘i thought-’
‘shh,,, you have me right here, right now. safe and sound’
you knew how much seeing you all battered messed him up and his attempt of making you forget about it has been
and his worry of you being gone without no sign of where you went will forever be there and he will always have that thought in the back ofhis mind
the next time you came over, you actually met his parents
since you went home early before, you didnt catch his parents when they came home around 10 minutes after you left
but this time, they were already home with his mom cooking dinner while his father was sitting on the dining chair reading a newspaper
iwa walked through the door, shouting he was home, and you did the same thing to be customary
oof his parents were surprised
his mom turned around to share a look of surprise with her husband
sure they havent seen tooru in a while but they were pretty sure his voice wasnt that high pitched
right?
‘hajime, did you hit tooru so much you ruined his-’
then his mother stopped talking at the sight of you holding iwa’s hand tightly when yall stepped around the corner
you sheepishly smiled at them and bowed your head in greeting
oh my
so this was why iwaizumi hajime-san was really really really handsome
his parents were freaking good looking
like his mother was aphrodite with her flawless melanin skin and doe shaped eyes with a mole under her left eye
and his father was like ares, so handsome yet still manly and his appearance was a special type of good-looking with his buffness and ruffed appearance
‘iwa-san, i didnt know your parents were gods’
you mumbled, still staring at them
iwaizumi choked and coughed, flustered
‘oh my!’
his mother placed a hand over her mouth
‘hello’
his father stood up to walk in front of you and held his hand out
‘i’m hajime’s father’
you let go of hajime’s hand to shake his own with both of your hands
‘really nice to meet you! i’m l/n y/n! seijoh volleyball manager! first year!’
you introduced then stepped aside to fully bow 90 degrees
iwaizumi thought it was so cute of how flustered you were at meeting his parents
��ay nako! nak, i didnt know you had such a beautiful girlfriend!’
she squealed and hurriedly went to stand in front of you and gently grasped your arms to stand you back straight and took a good look at you
‘youre so beautiful, iha. nice skin, pretty eyes, ang ganda!’
even with your research of tagalog, you didnt quite understand what she was saying
iwa noticed your slightly confused expression and he laughed, tucking his hands in his pockets
‘sorry, my nay speaks in taganese when she gets excited’
‘t-taganese?’
‘tagalog and japanese’
you nodded in understanding
it was time to put your basic reserach to test
‘hello po’
you greeted her and nervously took her hand and pressed the back of it to your forehead before slowly lowering it down and letting go
her wide eyes made you think you did something bad or even offensive!
‘i-i’
‘HAY NAKO, HAJIMEE~!’
she shrieked
‘YUNG-!!! YUNG-!!!’
okay im terrified
iwa noticed his mother’s malfunction and gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and veered her back to her kitchen
‘sorry about her, l/n-chan. its just,,,, hajime hasnt brought home a girl before. and you doing that mustve done it in for her’
you worriedly watched hajime calm his mom down with a smile and talking to her hushed
in their perspective,,,
‘shes so nice, nak! marry her, okay? shes very pretty and she made an effort to please your nanay, so go and marry her!’
ohmylord im nervous
initially, iwa only wanted to go and hang out with you and watch a movie
not have a full dinner with his family
lmao i shouldve told you that youve been friends for months now
his mother cooked sinigang and adobo and more filipino dishes, adding even more when she saw you were joining them
the dining table was covered with a large plate full of food and you were so fascinated because this was a side of iwa that you wanted to know more about
‘wow!’
you said, not thinking, at the deep-fried fish that still had its eyeballs intact
iwa genuinely thought you would’ve shyed away from it in disgust but your eyes were glistening with genuine interest
‘iwa-san! youre so lucky you get to eat this stuff!’
you told him, looking over at his direction
while mrs iwaizumi was lading in the soup into the big bowl, mr iwaizumi was sitting at the dining table, watching your interaction and hajime telling you what each food was and your noises of surprise
he watched his son laugh when you said the palabok reminded you of the orange boy hinata
and he also watched his son look at you so lovestruck and exactly like how he looks at his wife
soon, his mother finished and they rounded the table before saying a quick prayer to bless the food and digging in
‘so, what do you want to start with, iha?’
mrs iwaizumi asked and your wide eyes looked around
‘hm, im not sure. whats your favorite iwa-san?’
you looked to your right towards hajime who was busy eating and stopped before pointing his lips towards a direction
‘that one’
‘hah?’
you asked
mrs iwaizumi laughed at her son’s actions
‘sorry, l/n-chan, my son has adapted my traits. he was pointing to this, adobo. do you want some?’
‘yes please’
the smell made your mouth water and you started to tuck in
maybe it was your managerial instincts, but you used your napkin to wipe hajime’s lips and he was also used to this and turned his head to make it easier for you then he went to grab the water jug and re-fill your glass
once it was done, you both silently went back to eating
his parents watched his exchange and it was like watching a married couple taking care of each other
‘so, l/n-chan, you said you were their manager’
mr iwaizumi started and you nodded, wiping your lips
‘yes. i have been for a while now and please, call me y/n’
‘hajime actually told us he had a new manager for his team and tooru told us too. but we didnt know you were a girl. its just so interesting for hajime to bring you home as he has never really had any female friends’
mrs iwaizumi’s comment made you chuckle and iwa’s eyes widened in embarassment
‘nay! of course ive had female friends! ive had friends from all genders!’
he reasoned but you teasingly smiled at him
‘ah, im not really surprised. iwa-san doesnt exactly have the appearance that girls are brave enough to approach’
he sent you a betrayed glance
‘hah?! what’s that supposed to mean?!’
you shrugged, going back to your food
‘im just saying that you always have this intense look in your eyes and youre always frowning. but its cute so its fine. and besides, i dont think theyve seen you laugh since you dont really smile a lot, iwa-san’
‘but you’ve seen me smile!’
‘eung. but its only to me. if they knew the stuff i knew like you being a godzilla fan or your collection of succelents, theyd see you like oikawa-san’
‘HAH?! YOU SEE ME LIKE SHITTYKAWA?!’
mrs iwaizumi held her husband’s hand on the table as they watched you both bicker and tease each other with a smile
hajime has always been on the rougher side of things and he doesnt really have many close friends other than the team and even then, tooru is the only one he can really be himself around
yet here you are, bringing out the boy hajime really is and making him laugh, a sound his parents dont really hear outside the house
and your eyes
god, your eyes held admiration, life,,,, and you might not know this yet,, but love
her eyes trailed her son who teasingly headbutted you and you faking a surprise and doing the same
then you heard his father’s cough which brought you back to where you were and the situation and the people that were there
you felt embarrassment creeping up inside you and you bowed
‘im sorry for acting like that, iwaizumi-san. i-’
‘no, dont apologize, darling. please, dont’
her soft smile made the nerves in you ease and hajime’s father winked at him and he knew exactly what his father was trying to say
after dinner, you volunteered to wash the plates but they veered you away from there and towards the living room
‘oh my god, pops! stop her!’
hajime whined because he knows what his mother was going to do
she was going to show him his baby pictures
you sat on the beige couch and watched as she reached under the coffee table and revealed a few albums that had iwaizumi hajime written on the cover
‘now, y/n-chan, hajime wasnt always this pouty. in fact, he used to always have a smile on his face and laughed at the littlest things! like right here! a leaf fell on him and he-’
stories of his childhood was exchanged throughout the night and you were laughing so hard that tears were falling out of your eyes while hajime wrapped your shoulders with his arm and he would squeeze you tightly whenever you made fun of him
‘oh dear! iwa-san! you-!’
you didnt finished as you continued to laugh and he sighed
‘nay, can we go eat dessert now?’
he asked his mother and she was beginning to feel sorry for him so she smiled and nodded
‘okay. hajime, come help me’
‘iwaizumi-san, i can-’
‘no, y/n-chan. dont you worry your pretty little head about anything and just look through more of these pictures’
hajime followed his mother to their kitchen before she stopped and turned around
his mother’s height was around 5′1 so she had to look up to meet his eyes and her hands were clasped around his biceps
she is definitely beautiful and he cursed at how little he got from his mother other than her skin color
mrs iwaizumi married her husband and immigrated to japan to have a family and your polite action from earlier moved her as she hasnt experienced that in nearly 2 decades
‘nay, shes,,,, just a friend’
he reasoned, a wobbly smile to cover up his want for that title to change
yet mothers def knows best and saw right through it
she gave him a firm look with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips
‘nak, dont lie to yourself. i raised you to never tell a lie and lying to yourself is considered lying to someone. she’s not your KAibigan, shes your kaIBIGan’
now, hajime knew a little bit of tagalog as his mother made sure he was able to at least speak to his relatives back home
so he got a hint of what she was saying yet was confused
then he realized it
his blush creeped up his neck and he chuckled, ducking his head low to avoid his mother’s eyes
‘nak, listen to me. papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako. youre still growing and you may be confused right now, but make sure to think wisely and dont live with regrets. nanay doesnt want you to go through it all by yourself since she knows how hard it was. so please, listen to me and pursue her. shes special, hajime. she makes you so, so happy. i see it in your eyes, her eyes, god has fated you together. i feel it’
now if a filipino mother actually tells their son to go after a girl, thats a pretty big thing as its known that mothers are the hardest to convince and are fiercely protective of their sons, especially if its an only son, but mrs iwaizumi literally tells hajime to go court you because she sees how happy you make him and is willing to let hajime go to you
definitely his mother’s words stuck to him and as he walked you home, he was busy thinking that he was quiet and you were worried as he would be talking right now
‘iwa-san? you okay?’
you asked and he blinked, taken back to reality from his daydream
‘hm, yea’
he answered to look at you
hes been pining for months now and he slipped his hand into yours, holding it tightly
uwu if you want to see iwa moments with y/n, read through the seijoh manager series as theres a lot of them in there
he wanted you yet, he knew it would be selfish of him to keep you in the future
he would be a college student while you’re in your 2nd year
would you want to be so far away from him?
could you handle it?
‘yanno, iwa-san, your dad told me something interesting’
you suddenly said, squeezing his hand and kicking rocks while looking up at the night sky
‘what was it? something embarrassing?’
he immediately feared that they told you that story when he was still potty training and he fell straight into the toilet
‘hmm,,, no. he told me that he met your nanay when she was a high school student and he was a in an intern at your lolo’s company’
iwa listened and he had a smile at how you said the tagalog word for grandfather
‘he said she almost ran him over by her bike and she fled but they met again when she visited your lolo. through that, they became friends and then she confessed to him. apparently, he declined because she was younger than him, although just 3 years, and he was leaving for his own country in a few months so he didnt know if she would wait for him’
were,,,, you reading his mind?
iwa knew of his parents story yet with you telling it, it sounded a million times more interesting
‘yet she promised him. thats it, just a promise. that she would remain faithful to him, she would keep herself for him and when she finally graduates, she would go and find him and they could be happy together. he said it was the longest 3 years of his life yet when he saw in the airport, he felt like the wait was worth it. because he gets to hold the embodiment of happiness in his arms for the rest of his life’
you finished and he hummed
‘times have changed, y/n’
‘even you?’
you stopped walking and he naturally stopped too
‘would you wait for me like he did if i promised myself to you? if i promised you that despite the few years of waiting, i would still be yours and remain yours until we’re ready to be together?’
WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!
iwa’s heart was drumming in his chest and he wanted so desparately to look at you in the eyes but you were making that impossible as your head was bowed and your eyes were fixed on the concrete you both stood on
‘of course, i would’
your head snapped up and e/c clashed with olive eyes
‘i would wait for you. we may,,, be young right now. and they might think we’re,,, being impulsive. but i dont care. because right now, all that matters, is you and me. we can think about the consequences later, but right now, i just want to kiss you’
he admitted, red ears seen by the moonlight
your body shook
‘do it, no balls’
well,,,, he has the balls
and under the moon, at 8:34 pm, iwaizumi hajime kissed you
OML THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT SEIJOH SHORT WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO OIKAWA AND HIS NEIGHBORS ARE LIKE ‘AH SHITE HERE WE GO AGAIN’
it didnt come as a surprise to the team when yall announced your relationship
well,, you both actually didnt tell them outright until like weeks later
what can you say?
you and iwa are very private people and you dont really like to show off in public
even though yall lit rally are stuck to the hip and he does things that he doesnt even think hes doing but he is totally doing
you were only caught by,,, guess who
mrs iwaizumi
it was weeks when she met up with mrs oikawa bc theyre totally best friends and thats why their sons are best friends
she told her of her son’s girlfriend and how sweet you were and how mrs oikawa should be jealous that her son doesnt have a girlfriend like that and the standards for oikawa’s future girlfriend was raised just by that teasing
oikawa literally came into after school practice after a phone call with his mother, fuming
you were talking to kindaichi and yahaba with iwa beside you, arm around your waist totally not obvious guys
and yall just saw an angry oikawa stomping towards yall
‘y/n-chan, iwa-chan, why the hell did my mom just call me and tell me that im not allowed to bring home a girl if she doesnt have h/c with s/c (skin color) and e/c and h/m (height measurement)?’
you shrugged
‘oikawa-san, i’ve never even met your mom before’
but iwa had a hunch
‘ahh,,,, my mom mustve been bragging to your mom. yanno how they are’
oikawa shot him a disbelieving look
‘IWA-CHAN! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND I DONT! BUT ITS WORSE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS AFFECTING MY FUTURE ONE!’
he ranted, completely unaware that he just outed your entire relationship to the team
tbh they werent even surprised
like they were all ‘damn now shes taken. but cant say i didnt see that coming’
they took it pretty well too
they know how iwa is and they literally respect this mans and if anything, out of the whole team, he is the best candidate for your boyfriend
dating iwa is totally normal and yall just have increased touches?? like i dont know how to explain like he’s constantly holding your hand or arm around your waist or shoulder etc
literally nothing changed
you still have dinners at his house and iwa also knows your family and all that
and the most important thing is,
he kept that promise
even when he was literally at the other side of the world,
he still remained yours and you kept your own promise and waited patiently for his return
OOOOO TIMESKIP IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER
a little girl with bouncing dark brown hair was giggling as she maneuvered herself around the tall people
a shout from her parents and little sister was only making her run faster until she crashed into the legs of the person she’s been looking for
his blue jersey was similar to hers and she raised her arms up with a bright smile
‘uncle!’
she yelled and he chuckled before hoisting her up to his arms
‘ah, reyna-chan, didnt mom and dad tell you to wait for them? look! tala-chan is crying because you left her’
she followed his finger to her little sister, who was in her father’s arms, crying and reaching out for her
‘nee-chan!’
she screeched
finally, her parents were there and you were scolding her for running off
‘reyna, just dont do that again’
you said and she nodded, pouting and holding her uncle’s thumb
‘thank you, tooru-san. i dont know what i would do if she got lost’
oikawa grinned then gently patted the hat-covered head of the newborn baby girl that was strapped to your chest
‘hehe, its okay, y/n-chan. after all! uncle is always there to save reyna-chan!’
she shrieked when he held her up and hajime shook his head in his antics
‘where’s the others? i saw them in the stands but-’
he was cut off when he heard the shouts and yells from the other side that could only belong to your boys
‘woooo!!!!’
kindaichi’s voice echoed through the place and mattsuhana were rushing to greet their goddaughters
tala shyly accepted the arms of mattsun while makki was squealing quietly when darna was holding his finger tightly as she slept
‘taka-san, wanna hold her? she’s easier to hold when she’s sleeping’
‘oh can i?’
his eyes held the stars as the 11-month-old raised her fist then lowered it back down, sleep still heavy on her
‘waaa~ darna-chan is growing really quickly’
kunimi whispered, peering over his senpai to look at the baby whos eyes kept fluttering
you chuckled while looking at oikawa and him playfully bouncing reyna
‘tooru-san, congratulations on your win. it seems you’ve beaten hajime this time’
you complimented and the brunette smiled brightly at you, adjusting the little girls in his arms
‘ei, y/n-chan, i’ll beat him next time, and next time and the next time!’
every time he said ‘next’ he gave his goddaughter a kiss on her cheek making her giggle
your husband was pouting at the reminder of japan’s loss and you reached over to wrap your arms around him causing hajime to turn his head away from you
‘aww, my 4th baby is sad now’
you cooed and cupped his face delicately on your hands making him sulk and whine
the others, watching the scene, continue to be surprised at this side of their captain that remains to only be caused by you
‘ugh, nearly a decade later and theyre still sappy’
yahaba gagged and watari slapped his back
‘let them be happy’
‘come on! im in the mood for spaghetti! you like spaghetti, tala-chan?’
‘eung!’
mattsun cheered with kindaichi and she raised her hands to share the same energy
once everyone was situated in a restaurant and ordered, small talks were shared around the table of the past
‘haha, spaghetti is how your baba found out about you, tala-chan’
yahaba’s comment made the walking group laugh at the memory of seeing the video you sent in the seijoh group chat
‘i wanted to be creative with my second child since my firstborn was revealed by this loudmouth’
oikawa winced at the indirect diss at him
‘y/n-chan! i was really excited to find out i was going to be an uncle!’
‘youre already an uncle, bakakawa!’
hajime has toned down the insults to keep it pg for the children
‘but-!’
they started to argue, the oldest daughter looking disinterested as she sees this happening or hearing it whenever her dad and uncle video chat
‘it took me forever to find a ‘prego’ pasta sauce in the grocery store like i dont know why. was there a shortage?’
you complained, remembering the frustration
your fellow first years snickered at you and kindaichi prodded fun at you
‘is that why you just outright told him you were pregnant the day you found out?’
you rolled your eyes and watched makki and mattsun and tala watch the youngest as she wiggled her fists in the air and was awake enough to babble ‘makki’ over and over again
that was her first word and although she is now able to say a few words, she still repeats her first word over and over again
‘we had a fight and it just came out so of course i didnt have time to prepare!’
you defended and hajime finished his antics with oikawa just as you said that
‘what-what was your words again? ‘i really want to push you off the roof right now but i want my baby to meet their bastard father first?’‘
you gasped at that regretful statement and punched him in the arm
‘hajime! stop!’
you whined and covered your face with the sleeves of your his hoodie
‘hehe, y/n, you should do that again’
kyotani teased and you glared at him
‘shut up kyotani’
eyebrows were raised
‘eh? are you more hormonal?’
‘do you realize you already have 3 daughters?’
‘iwaizumi-san really wants to have a volleyball team family’
‘at least wait a year and a half, you animals’
‘so,, like hes that good huh?’
hajime growled and leaned over to intimidate but you snarled and jumped on your feet, being held back by the arms by kindaichi and hajime to stop yourself from leaping across the table to kill yahaba
‘keep talking like shite and i’ll make sure none of you become the godfather of this baby’
okay what
one, did you just curse
and two, this baby?!
‘im big sister again?!’
reyna ruined the surprised silence and then chaos ensued
‘WHAT!’
‘BABY?!’
‘THIS BABY?!’
you just realized what you said and smirked at the chaos you created and sat back down, leaning on the back of the chair and smugly taking a sip of your water
‘oh the power i hold in my hands’
you teased and oikawa pointed at you
‘when! how long!’
you looked at hajime who was so shocked that his eyes glazed over and a passerby wouldve thought he was dead
‘apparently 3 months’
oikawa started counting and his eyes widened at that thought
‘you-! you stayed in argentina! in my house! my house-!’
‘yep. both of them created under your house’
what
!!!!!
hajime fainted
oikawa screamed
a/n: okay i admit i got a little too carried away with this one. i just love filo!iwa and this was mostly written in his pov bc cmon we all know we love iwa and fell in love w him the moment we saw him
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ML AU: In Another Life: NY Special
(So a few things to note, Since this takes place after the events of this version of the season 3 Finale, there are a few key differences. Fu still being guardian is one of them)
-Gabriel finds himself on the back foot, without a fixed peacock miraculous, he needs something to boost his advantage over the teens. And at the rate Nathalie has been going, he might lose her as well.
-While desperately searching the book, he caught notice of the eagle miraculous, it looked very familiar. (He comes up with his plan to go to New York to get that miraculous), well thats how he realizes his plan that is in canon. But this version is clearly more desperate. He needs to know what it can do and how to use it.
-Marinette’s class kicks but with their sock puppet show and pretty much the set up for how the class is going to America is the same. Including Miss Bustier’s reason for not going.
-Adrien is bummed because there is no way he would be able to go on the trip, not with how strict his father is. Lila tries to cheer him up, saying she couldnt go either (cause in canon reason is the same)
-Marinette states that she will try talking to Adrien’s father, she seems to have a slightly higher opinion of her, its worth a shot. “Afterall, your our sock washington.” She says with a flirty smile.
-Adrien has heart eyes over his cute girlfriend.
-Marinette and company go ready to convince Gabriel to let adrien go.
-Marinette gives a convoluted speech similar to canon, but minus the extra bits of friendship.
-Gabriel complies, saying that she convinced him.
-Marinette is over the moon and immediately texts her boyfriend who is at fencing practice the good news
-Adrien gets his butt kicked by kagami just like in canon.
-Kagami tries cheering him up by saying they could use this time to practice and she can help beat the sad out of him if he wants.
-He checks his phone and is excited. He can go on the trip!
-He tells Kagami the good news, she congratulates him. But comments she will be bored without him here to fence.
_____________________________________________________________________
-Marinette Calls Fu and tells him about her trip to New york, and that her whole class is going.
-”Your entire class?”
-”Yes, even Adrien. Can you believe it? His father never lets him go.” She is over the moon.
-Fu notes to remember that.
-”Well dont worry about Paris. If anything happens, I will be sure to alert you and Chat noir. You will have the horse miraculous on your person.”
-”I am sure Chat noir will be able to handle things here. I will let him know I am leaving. You could use a break.”
-Fu remembers that Ladybug doesnt know that Adrien, her boyfriend, is actually Chat noir.
-”I will tell Chat noir about the departure. You enjoy your trip.”
-”Alright, if you are sure.”
___________________________________________________________________
-Fu decides to meet with chat noir.
-Fu contacts Adrien to meet him at a rooftop.
-”Ladybug wont be in paris?” Chat noir was shocked. (He was so happy to be leaving for the US with his friends and Girlfriend, he actually forgot that Ladybug is marinette and that means she wont be in Paris. And that HE wont be in paris.”
-”Right, and I have a feeling you wont be in Paris either. Your class is having a trip.”
-Adrien doesnt bother asking how he knows that. He assumes Marinette told him.
-”Wait, If Ladybug or I are not in paris...”
-”Dont worry, i will alert you both should anything happen. Ladybug has the horse miraculous on her. If she is close by, she can give you a ride, if not. Your astro form should be able to fly you back to Paris fast enough to get there.”
-Chat noir nods. He cant say he knows she will be close by. But he does know.
-Ladybug doesnt contact Chat noir about the trip, because there is no need to burden him over it.
______________________________________________________________________
-Marinette isnt late, because Adrien had G come pick her up with him.
- So they have some cute handholding as Marinette excitedly talks about going to new york.
-Once they get on the Plane, Marinette and Adrien sit next to each other. So we get Startrain 2.0. With them sleeping on the other, and being cute. No musical plane tickets.
-Alya and Nino are happy for the two of them, commenting that they are still so innocent. But they have no plans on pushing them
-Marinette and Adrien both end up needing to get up and they catch the sunset together. Cue cute almost kiss. But then Techno pirate ruins it.
-The United heroes step in to handle things just like in canon. Marinette and Adrien both internally relieved that they can relax and let other heroes handle things.
-The two enjoy a nice flight to the states
_______________________________________________________________________
-Fu may have called Marianne to help him keep an eye out in the city. She was happy to have an excuse to see fu. It was like a date for them.
-Meanwhile, Marinette and class arrive at the hotel. Aeon comments that Adrien and Marinette are perfect for eachother. Jess doesnt care.
-Chloé isnt depressed as she was in canon, so she isnt dismissive of Sabrina having fun with an american boy. In fact, she decides that she would be more positive. Trying to be the heroine ladybug said she could be. Though... being nice is hard. Alix comments that she looks constipated
-Sabrina is so happy that Chloé is supportive of her. It was a surprise change.
-Chloé was still not thrilled about rooming with Alya and Marinette. But says its fine. Alya is kind of creeped out by Chloé's more ‘Friendly’ attitude. Marinette says that they should still encourage it.
-The class sneaks out to go to the roof party. Marinette and Adrien end up in Aeon and Jess room.
-”Im marinette and this is Adrien.” “Im her boyfriend”
-Aeon is VERY happy to hear that. Jess is indifferent, but helps them both get to the roof.
-The class has fun and Hotdog dan arrives with his magical dogs of hotness.
-Marinette and Adrien have no trouble sharing the hot dog. Alya still a pro wing woman, totally gets Jess to play the song.
-Marinette is 100% down with dancing. Commenting that she remembers that dance.
-Adrien thanking Marinette for convincing his dad, and that she is so amazing. She is practically melting.
-”You’re the perfect girlfriend.”
-Marinette happy giggling and telling him he is such a cute dork.
-Yes there is a kiss under the moonlight.
______________________________________________________________________
-Next day, the class is at the museum. Aeon knows Jess ships it too, cause she admits they are adorable. There is no need for an elaborate plan, so they dont have the class do the thing.
-Gabriel sets his plan into motion.
-Fu see’s robustus and texts Marinette. Allowing her to move. Adrien notices her sudden rush and figures there is trouble.
-Ladybug transforms in private and uses unify with the horse miraculous to make a portal to paris. Chat noir calls out to her. Which surprises her.
-”Wait, why are you in new york?”
-”Its cool, I cleared it with Fu before I left.”
-Ladybug sorta does the same thing she did in startrain and just rolls with it, just commenting how lucky he is that they were both near eachother, and that if he is leaving paris, he should tell her. Chat noir agrees.
-They get to Paris and start fighting Robustus, who they realize shouldnt be here, because Markov is in New york.
-Meanwhile, Technolizer, takes the sword and Sparrow and Uncanny Valley hear the commotion. They dont see Ladybug and Chat noir being independent, so they dont try to strike out on their own, they do the responsible thing and call for back up, Then try to fight him.
-Ladybug and Chat noir are in Paris fighting Robustus, and trying to find his weakness. But after a bit, Robustus just vanishes. Confusing the two. ladybug uses her Lucky charm to fix the damage, and then they get a portal to head back. Ladybug and Chat noir head back. Ladybug is mad suspicious over the sudden monster that seemed like all for nothing.
-Ladybug and Chat noir arrive to see the damage to the museum. Hawkmoth had successfully snatched the Eagle necklace thanks to the distraction from Technolizer. He is able to help the villain escape from the heroes, who were having a tougher time with the beefed up villain (until Majestia got more serious)
-Ladybug telling chat noir that if there is trouble to contact her, and she would do the same. Something is up with Hawkmoth.
-Hawkmoth has the eagle miraculous. He finds out the power of the miraculous is to liberate people. Which doesnt sound as useful to hawkmoth as he would like, but he gets a plan. He reakumatizes Techno Pirate.
-The events left New york damaged, but the heroes were not angry at ladybug and Chat noir since they have NO idea why Techno pirate got an upgrade.
-Marinette and Adrien went to catch up with the class. Where a car arrives for Adrien. Commenting that he clearly made a mistake letting him come.
-Marinette didnt stand by and say nothing (since she wasnt depressed or downtroden) she told Gabriel that she should let him stay. That the heroes would protect him, and that she would be by his side.
-Adrien also sided with Marinette. Gabriel was shocked, and angry that his son would Dare disobey him (which stirs the seeds on why he would use Marinette as a tool for an akuma at a later time). Gabriel gives one more stern command but Adrien is determined to stay. (plus he wasnt bummed about everything either so that helped his confidence)
-Jess and Aeon wanted to go with the heroes to help find technolizer but Civillian Majestia and Knightowl said that they needed them to stay here to protect the tourists. Which made them want to prove themselves.
-Cue the Hawkmoth’s plan using The akuma techno pirate with the eagle miraculous.
-Jess and Aeon notice that things are going wrong. Marinette and Adrien both realize it as well and sneak out to go help.
-Aeon realizes that Chat noir and Ladybug are Adrien and Marinette (because she is tech and is immune to that glamor effect. And is of course is even MORE stoked on them. The four of them meet up and work on the plan thats the same as in canon, (using the door hero’s power)
-The fight pretty much goes the same way as in canon, and Hawkmoth is actually pissed off instead of happy that there are more miraculous. Nathalie is now worse off then before. He is now even More desperate since his plan failed.
-Majestia and Knightowl are proud of their side kicks and Jess/eagle gets to be a hero in her own right. Proving her worth. Uncanny valley is her partner.
-Uncanny valley tells them she knows who they are and that she will clear the memories so that no one will know. Jess gets the eagle miraculous. (Marinette tells Fu about this, Fu says its fine. It isnt from his miraculous box, not his jurisdiction.)
-Marinette and Adrien enjoy the rest of the trip with the class. Marinette commenting to adrien how amazing all these heroes are.
-”I think you are much more amazing Marinette.”
-Cue adrinette cuteness
-Gabriel goes back to america, angry and now so much more desperate then before
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loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)
dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough
anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:
special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3
track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!
1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens
i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place
2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos!
this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:
3. love love love by of monsters and men
this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh
4. ribs by lorde
this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...
5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow
i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them
6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell
SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh
7. truce by twenty one pilots
so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck
8. this side of paradise by coyote theory
this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK....
there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly)
but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL
9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house
EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH...
just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO
10. video games by the young professionals
SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF
also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers
11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai
this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔
especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld
12. therefore you and me by eve
ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):
13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara
this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass
14. a thousand years by sting
oh sting....
so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!!
it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring
ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits
them...
15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery
SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist
HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN;
another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too
but yea jus ... them
16. you by petit biscuit
an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right
much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things)
however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah
17. saturn by sleeping at last
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so
also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6
but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!
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Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm.
ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make.
ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that.
ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm.
GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131.
ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally?
ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed.
ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no?
ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye.
ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol.
ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure.
ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew
ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want
big man. yeah jonah for sure did something.
ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever
ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way"
ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao
ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked?
ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy.
ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man.
ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous.
ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye.
ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds"
ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess.
oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152
ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book?
ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing.
ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt
kill them. oh... bye melanie.
ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick.
Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult.
ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D:
ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D:
ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute.
ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.
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can you talk more about Iron Man 2 Natasha versus other Natashas?? I feel pure joy when I see it <3
sure <333 ill break it up into sections by movie
iron man 2: shes literally the love of my life and the reason why i even started liking natasha in general but like outside of My personal feelings i do think this is the best iteration of natasha by far. her cover story for stark industries was SO good like do u know how clever u have to be to get around tony’s systems? and imo its literally the ONLY time in the mcu where we get to see natasha being a SPY even though thats a large part of her skillset. i loved the hallway scene in the end where she got to show off and literally singlehandedly take down all those guards and i loved the moment between her and tony before his birthday party. it was honest, vulnerable but subtle enough that it makes SENSE for natasha’s character.
the avengers: hmm. probably my second favourite iteration of nat. i loved the beginning with her at her mission and then her manipulating bruce, i thought those scenes were both in character. also, ive seen ppl say that they hate that first scene where nat is being interrogated bc it makes her appear as weak when ?? i feel like it does the opposite ?? like shes literally only still tied up bc she wants to be, so that she can get more information. she is literally in control there, she was just waiting for the time to strike n had to do it sooner than later bc of clont getting compromised. anyways idk i like ta!nat i think shes fine but theres not much in terms of like. anything else other than Badass Character, u feel? also i HATED how scared she was of bruce/hulk. it left a bad taste in my mouth n i cant believe they tried a romance there after
winter soldier: maybe controversial but i hate her in this movie jrbjhabsjd or i guess hate is a strong word but i dont like her in this movie. like first of all the role shouldnt have even been hers??? it shouldve been sharon’s and it was supposed to be until they decided to replace sharon with her. her characterization in this movie is literally god-awful which imo led to her shitty characterization in endgame. she was genuinely humiliating when she tried to go undercover in this like idc how brief it is shes always ready (in dd v2 she literally wore a FULL disguise to visit matt as work when there was a lot of press so she wouldnt gain any attention for him. foggy didnt recognize her til she took off her wig) so the fact that she would put on a HOODIE ??? AND GO ??? TO A PLACE WHERE THERES CLEARLY CAMERAS ??? humiliating. the part where she was like 🥺🥺 would u trust me to save ur life ?? humiliating. natasha doesnt give a SHIT about what people think of her. frankly, all steve did up to that point was heavily judge her so she shouldnt care abt what he thinks. they obviously tried to make her a more emotional character in this but it just came off wrong lmao. i did like her last scenes though
age of ultron: ill keep this short—i dont like aou nat, i dont think it was a good representation of nat at all and i absolutely despise the brucenat romance with my entire heart. i did like her suit and fight scenes but thats it. theres not enough words to describe how misogynistic and wrong and disgusting it was for them to say natasha is a monster like bruce to make HIM feel better just bc she cant have children. 616 natasha sweetie.
civil war: the twist of her being the one to change sides was so lame i literally have to laugh like omg wowow the former spy ended up switching sides how unexpected i cant believe no one saw that coming. her being on tony’s side was the right call and the switch was stupid thats all lmao they just wanted her to stay with steve and sam after the team broke up which is literally stupid bc either way she shouldve been on her own. irritashun
infinity war: honestly not much to say she only had 6 minutes and all she did was Fight ppl so it was ur typical portrayal of nat. her eyebrows and hair were atrocious though. it shouldve been black hair as a nod to 616 nat’s tendency to dye her hair black in the old comics
endgame: oh boy where to even start. this is my least favourite iteration of nat in the entire mcu. i literally did not recognize her for a SECOND. before the movie came out, sc/rjo talked abt how we would see a pissed off nat ready to take action and i was really excited because THAT sounded like the nat i knew. but when the movie actually came, we saw her ?? moping ?? crying ?? eating a sad ass sandwich by herself ?? basically doing the emotional labour for the team because god forbid any of the men do it ??????? and the fact that they CUT OUT ALL OF HER COPING SCENES TOO LIKE THE TARGET PRACTICE, THE PUNCHING BAG??? i cant jbhjabsdhj it makes me SO fucking furious that they would make her some overly emotional character—like not to say that its a bad thing to be that, its not, but it’s also NOT natasha in any way. ive said this before but natasha’s grief almost ALWAYS manifests in the form of anger and u can explicitly see that in secret empire when she cries by herself for a minute, composes herself and gets ready to kill stevil. u can see that during hickmanvengers when its HER that realizes this is more than just taking sides, theres a bigger fight. i wanted so desperately to see a pissed-off nat and i was literally lied to. n then her ending lmao?!?!?!?! i dont even want to touch on that bc its going to get me so fucking mad jrbhavshgd abut i will talk abt it briefly: FUCK her ending FUCK the russos FUCK m&m and FUCK everyone who said this was empowering. it wasnt. she literally died for HER family, who she decided wasnt as important as clint’s blood family. thats BULLSHIT. its so stupid and the fact that she wasnt even able to reunite with everyone?? the fact that she died in the SAME DISGUSTING MANNER that gamora did???? like she didnt even make it to the FINAL BATTLE. how on earth do u treat ur first female hero (and one of the first female leads of the mcu in general) like that????? the fact that they didnt even give her a proper funeral bc they said that natasha is ~private~ like shes not some fucking loner or recluse. at the very least, we shouldve seen them mourning her properly (steve shedding one tear and bruce throwing shit around doesnt count) but they really said fuck women xo
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So this one took a week and Im uploading immediately after I finished drawing it
So yknow how I drew myself and my anti-self a while back? Me and Feral? So the two of us had a chat that started with “what if, theoretically, we could fuse into one being”. The conversation ended with the start of this thing’s character design.
Before you ask, yeah, I’m aware the legs look kinda wrong and how the hair doesn’t have actual hair texture and how fingers probably shouldnt work like they do for the hand thats holding the fancy fireball thats actually just a bunch of magical smoke. Thats all on purpose - after all, this is a being of chaos at its highest power, of course we’d stop listening to how humanoids should look, right?
Anyways, at some point in the future I plan on making this thing a reference sheet because I am definitely commissioning people to draw it later on, its probably gonna become my new online persona, if only because of the design, which I will go into deeper details about now, if anyones interested
First things first, the shoes. Because what being has any percent of being me in it without my signature shoes that I designed in 8th grade by accident and am reclaiming lately. Changed the colors a bit, added more details to them, and now I’m working on making them into real, actual shoes I can wear irl, because I am a nerd with a need to cosplay as my art sometimes (which is why I have a lot of my art of myself having me wearing clothes I already own, though this piece was really just me going “whatever” on the design and disregarding what is probably doable in some places). The stars aren’t printed or stitched on, actually - those are custom buttons with thick thread stitching them on, so they’re definitively firmer than the fabric shoes. Yes, the fronts of the shoes have indents to look sorta like animal paws - that is actually the specific way I draw lion paws, btw. I also draw panda paws similarly, though those are a bit more blob-looking... my two favorite animals are my name, yes, what of it. Last detail in the shoes is how the soles have my initials! The one visible has the P on it, and the other has F on. Also, yes, winged shoes. that’s like one of the 3 things I kept from the original design, along with the black soles and the heart tip for the... oh, no, I forgot what its called. I’m tired and my brain is a mush of colors, but the bit in gold, that’s also in the original design (though, then it was actually white and only the edges were gold)
Next up I gotta talk about that jacket, mostly because it just sorta happened by accident. It was meant to be a plain black jacket with the map inside of it, but then I remembered my love for fluffy collars, and while drawing it I just happened to accidentally use the wrong texture brush on it by accident,,,, and one thing lead to another and now the edges look like they’re fading into leaves with stars and bubbles and other such stuff that’s probably gonna change at some point, though I do love the idea of the bubbles floating on the jacket constantly. Yes, the jacket is oversized, the sleeves are scrunched up but it gets really floaty, which is intentional because then you can see the map on the underside. Speaking of, I had a huge problem when I got to that part of the design because I needed a map of one of my worlds - and none of the universes I create are stable enough to be mapped out, so I had to pick one and make a map for it - I ended up going with Eternalion, which is a world where everything is just... floating islands full of monsters, and the issue is that the islands constantly move, so only their shape (and for some, the places they meet, because there’s a group of tiny islands that are always together, and the mainland has another country off-shore that’s connected via bridges, and two other continents that are always together because they both have the theme for being super easy to get lost in for eternity), so that’s another thing about this piece that’s bound to move around between drawings, since the islands move in the world, they’ll also move on the map.
The shirt is one I actually have, I wanted somewhat simple stuff. It’s also a direct callback to the pieces with me and Feral, because my jacket was green and tehir background was also in this same area. Other things I’ve taken from real life are the phone (yes I have a blue phone I love that fact way too much) and my glasses, though my frame is a bit more round, but I didn’t want it to cut into the eyes.
The belt is actually directly taken from my OC I had when I was 7, whose name was Laila MoonValley who was a half-cat, half-bat, half-human queen of reality... I really haven’t changed much since. But the buckle that’s just a half moon is definitely from the original design of my first ever OC, so, there’s a fun fact.
The wings are actually probably my signature thing every time I draw myself. White feathers with golden edges, I literally used to go by “Goldfeathers” in 8th grade, it was cringe and I’m kinda over it, but the entire thing with the wings is, again, based on real life, because why not. Except mine are purely feathered, but I figured, why not add a bit of dragon-looking wings, so the tips are sorta dragon/bat like. Because why not.
The tail is... I honestly don’t know, but Feral insisted so why not. The ears, once again callback to my old OC and her cat ears. The other ears, the ones that look like wings, are sorta based on Fae ears, but not really? Like, its supposed to look kinda like it but also definitively like wings, so idk, wings for ears is fun.
The hair doesn’t work like hair, but my hair does work like that - it reflects the sun and gathers dust and stuff like its made of plastic, so, I took that to an extreme. The fingers are actually just how I draw demon-looking fingers - or, used to, at least. it’s been a while since I’ve drawn any demonic beings, so, idk.
The orb! It has a galaxy in it, because why not, and is also once again direct callback to the two pieces with me and Feral holding orbs ourselves. Except for some reason I went “it’d be cool if there were birds inside this one”, though I dont think they’re very visible anymore.... The eyes are also direct callback to our pieces - the actual color bit is in my shade of green, with the tiny bit of gold from my eyes, too. The pure black thing is actually supposed to look like the eyes are just sockets and so are the black trails coming from them, and that’s also what it should have looked like on Feral, theoretically.
The halo is just leaning on the angel vibe with the wings, while also having some semblance to my crown... except on the opposite side :) And the fire-looking thing, it’s actually smoke/fog, and there’s feathers in there. It’s magic, I don’t know much about what it was beyond “it looks cool so we’re doing it”. Oops.
The glowing wisp things are just a purple version of the glowing wisps from my piece - the one that’s my pfp, where, if you look, the wisps also form the wing-like ears! It’s gone full circle... or whatever. It’s been two weeks, idk if it really counts as long enough to warrant that phrase.
Not much to say about the background, I just wanted a light source from behing bc the last two pieces had a light from the front and I just wanted to try something new (as though this entire piece wasn’t an entire experiment in and of itself... oof). That’s a sun right there if it wasn’t obvious. Also the handwriting I used for that “oh?” was. so fun to make up. Its a combination of my fancier handwriting, my signature’s font (”font”, I just add stars a lot and use my fancy handwriting everywhere else) and adding a bit of flare by connecting the question mark with the h. I’d have said I made it up on the spot, but the O had a star even in my sketch, so, idk, it was mostly improv in this one, just had a vague idea and it went out of my hands... and took like a week to be made, this was supposed to take less but I got carried away... ^^”
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Faves and fails of SPN (season 15, finally):
Favorite episodes (in chronological order):
15:4 Atomic Monsters - Demon!Sam flashbacks! Dean in a beard! Some old fashioned banter! Meatman! Beaverdale! Love how Sam starts arguing w the parents in the parking lot - Me too, Sam, me too. Loving the self-aware monster. I know Becky is problematique™, but I dig her, so, all kinds of fuck Chuck. He must die, and when he does this is the episode I’ll think about.
15:6 Golden Time - Badass protection spells. Dean in a robe and a hot dog pyjamas. Cas going by Clarence. Jogging Sam. Eileen! God I ship her and Sam, and I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that I don’t ship him w anyone. Liking this ep a lot, every little side plot. Nice. And Eileen is back and I know it won’t last but like, that was awesome.
15:10 The Heroes’ Journey - Pretty neat intro. Monster on monster violence to the sound of Clair the Lune. Oh, and excellent casting of Garth’s kids. Regular people trouble... Awesome! Brilliant! This is the kind of meta storylines this show should deal in, exclusively. Oh my Garth! Explosives! Why isn’t every episode like this?
15:11 The Gamblers - Oh, is this another lucky coin episode? In that case yes please! More inconsequential bullshit kindly! Loving Sam staying in touch w Eileen. Hey guys, remember when you did the gambling thing w your years? And the rabbit’s foot? Good times. Will this be an equally good time? I hope so. A god! Excellent. ”Lady, I’m Tolstoy.” Yeah ya are, and i’m dead. The guys and Fortuna bashing god. And I'm equally delighted and distraught over the lore that god created man, man imagined gods and god decided to create the other gods to play into man’s ideas, or as a distraction.
15:13 Destiny’s Child - Omg the intro! Savage garden! I’m dead. Jack w the sandwich, why is that so funny? Cas is a gem this episode! ”’Sexually intimate’?” Lol. That’s what you get for trying to speak plainly, Cas! Hunter Corp. I’m dead, again. Keep the different Deans and Sams coming! I’m digging this! Why would they send ‘em to Rio? They could be your buffy-bots!
15:14 Last Holiday - Weird people popping up in the hq is awesome. And Dean’s immediate instinct to yell for Sam reminds me of me calling mr mess for everything! ”Shouldnt you be in the woods? Nymfing?” Monster radar? Oh, oh this is excellent. So mrs Butters is capable of murder when home and family are threatened, good for her. They better not kill her. I can accept them returning her to the wild. Yes! Did I call it or did I call it? Good Supernatural, good boy! And Dean making a cake for Jack! My heart.
Fail episodes (in chronological order):
15:2 Raising Hell - Rowena! Instant win. Ketch. Instant lose. Ketch undressing Rowena with his eyes = rating plummeting. Jeez. A bit dangerous even joking about the GoT finale, don’t you think? Rowena and Ketch full on flirting... this is hell, I'm being punished.
15:3 The Rupture - Don’t call him god! His name is Sucky-Chucky. The shock of Cas! “You’ve been playing us the whole time!” This is how it works Cas, where have you been? They're always solving problems like Jason Mendoza. In-Dean-angry-voice: “Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.” Rowena! And Sam! No!
15:5 Proverbs 17:3 - Listen, spn, it’s your last season and if you like just wanna stop writing and casting women completely rn i won't stop you or hold it against you (also why are these ladies identical?). We’ve had a terrible run but lets just let bygones be bygones.
15:8 Our father, who aren’t in heaven - Gosh, having Eileen in the show is painful, I’m just constantly expecting a piano to fall on her head. *Ugh* Sucky-yucky-Chucky. But hey, at least everybody else looks better alongside him. Case and point: I never rly cared that much for Donatello, but it’s great to see him, and Michael’s back, sure is nice to see him too.
15:9 The trap - Ugh. Main plot shit and Sucky-yucky-fucking-Chucky. Fail. Although the flashforward to jan 6th 2021 was a hoot (but probably not meant like one, huh?) Dean’s monologue in purgatory though... gosh. This show would be nothing w/o Jensen Ackles. Omg the kiss! Nice. However, the show at this point has lost the ability to offer any sort of pleasure. Because like Sam, we know which way this will go. They used to have some hedonism working for the characters but now they don’t even have that.
15:20 Carry on - You know what? I’m not gonna make this post longer than it already is talking about the last episode of Supernatural, that has been done better by people w real grievances w the show. The kindest thing you can say about the finale is that it just as well could’ve been jammed into a few extra minutes added to the previous episode.
Mediocre mentions:
Drag me away (from you) - what is this ugly cell interface? The opposite of product placement. Yay! Retro episode! And they got the same actor to play Dean, neato! Dean admitting he had a hard time handling hunting, that always gets me. Woah! That scream effect without reverb was kinda startling. And the camera zooming in on the little porcelain clown even though Sam is nowhere n- oh shit. This was an interesting episode
Inherit the earth - Goooood I hate Chucky. Barefoot Sam is okay though. Digging this soundtrack too. Very un-Supernatural. Nice to meet ya Betty, but I wouldn’t pull up a chair if I were you. Always a fan of the shiteating grin. Jack, stripping god of his power, that’s so hot. And again: kudos to the soundtrack! The Youngbloods and then Jackson freakin’ Browne! And you know, it’s clichéd and kinda vacant, but also kinda nice. I’m cool with the story ending like this. Why did they have to do another one? Supernatural has never known when to quit, and this is the very real backside of this.
Honorable mentions:
I don’t know who this Ardat chick is but killing Ketch puts her instantly in my win column.
Winchester-dumb, new household term.
”Feels like were taking a big, probably stupid risk. Feels good.” That made me feel good too.
I’m vastly enjoying this dark-art hippie couple in Unity and Jack’s interaction w them.
Cas launching straight into his dramatic I-will-not-let-you-end-your-own-life-speech when Sam casually mentions he’d like to talk to death in Unity, that angel has seen some things, and he has learned.
Those are some pretty pretty death effects on Jack in Despair/The Truth.
Obviously Misha Collins
Things that makes you go hmm:
Which of the clowns is this supposed to be in Back and to the Future? Because the one from season 2 was a monster, right? So he would’ve gone to purgatory. You know what? I’m not an expert. I try to not pay too much attention ’cause it makes me funny in the head. But just, y’know, a general objection.
Here’s my deal w death as a looming threat in this show: it holds no weight. And even if it did it has been painted as the ultimate relief, unless you go to hell, these characters know for a fact that there’s a potentially blissful afterlife, so their attitude towards death should be, what? More pragmatic, I think. And it’s partly why Ackles is wasted on this show; That man can deliver a death monologue like it’s nobody’s business, too bad all those words have been rendered meaningless after 15 seasons of this shit!
Summing up:
So, I did not go into or leave this season happy, I knew how it would end and I was sad for everyone the show screwed over (more than it already had). Which really meant that I always had to force myself to watch another episode, knowing what was coming. But I had to see it through. I did, so I’ll give myself a pat on the back and get to work on my own personal selection of episodes that will henceforth represent spn to me. A selection I’ll enjoy all the way through. All in all I think the most frustrating thing about the show is how it insists on taking itself so freakin’ seriously. It has always done horror *and* humor best and this whole heaven and hell aspect has never sat right w me, and in any case they should’ve leaned more on “supernatural” narrative tropes (if you will) getting out of their plot problems, gambled some more and thought a bit more outside genre conventions *especially* in their main arcs, they opened up so many opportunities that they never even used. They could’ve been more like Buffy, or Doctor Who. That said, I’ll always get that spn-itch, and when I do, I’ll be happy to have seen all the episodes so I’ll know which ones to avoid.
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Shit said in the Crimson Discord & VC, taken out of context
part 2, (the sequel)
Big NSFW warning, probably
his meat slid off and then slid right back on
[PRONOUN] can punch me in my uterus and make a hammock out of my ovaries
it’s one of the worst fucking things i’ve ever heard, and i’ve heard someone literally shit their pants
they tagged me and my ass clenched
this man just said “I want to eat ur ass and then kiss you” ok buddy
a man with a plan
my grandpa is texting his hoes from his flip phone
god my lawyer was a hit but idk if she will be the chosen one or not
hello give me your toenails
i'll touch you in a non-weird way
he was in that movie with the people, he was the human.
i want her to brush my hair
If we have dick glasses they have to be of the highest quality for the best experience
i don't wanna watch that white nonsense
i would throat him like a fine wine
these millenials can't live without ac? back in my day we lived on the sun
yall better put those goats on a wheel, tell them to start running
he looks like a bitch
yes or no, u wud punch the light bulb out of thomas edisons wrinkly pruned hand and asked him if he believed in god
still has skin and a working body
i needed to wait until my voice changes
you thought i was snacking on joe biden’s savory meat stick
barack guckin oglizzy, oguckma, barack osugma, Joe choden, OglchnnngggHHHYynnUUUnnghhma
why did i have a dream that i was taking the lid off my car
false gods require wine, real gods require coochiefice
fettucine wet ass pussy
that was all you sent me. the picture of a raccoon and then nothing
it isn’t hate, it is ‘continuously let down by’.
i never went to school who science
i’m gunna go peer pressure my mum into a shot
thank you for furthering my career at hot topic
i will suck the ingrown hair off of him
it has huge jackman in it
i chomped on this eggshell, got my calcium in for the day
i will take you to touch the mango
i want to see all the big things
[PRONOUN] has collar bones so deep you could hook a clothing hanger into it
no asscheeks in fucking family chat you animals
he will eat you alive and suck out your intestines like its a spaghetti noodle
[NAMES]’s Tiggle Biddie’s
dropped acid, cried the whole night.
my stomach is hooping and hollering, i’m about to eat some sleep
you want my throatsac ??
please dont know me as the toenail eater
you have to keep the skin on one side while you eat the other, thats basic mango physics
i mean he is some good sasuage
calm down dick Hannibal
respectfully, what the fuck is this
tbf i only eat my steaks where they need tampons
you committed acts of culinary terrorism
does your refrigerator whimper and cower in the corner when you approach it. that's your fridge trying to use echo location to locate a safe space
thundercuck
i almost met Jesus, I almost got an autograph. Almost got a greatest hits signed album.
respectfully, are you smoking fucking crack?
my left testicle could play better than you
i’ll eat him with ketchup
son of a biscuit eating bulldog!
now it’s back to me sucking, all is right in the world.
holy fuck weasels.
holy fuck, weasels!
why does the bad guy look like the Statue of Liberty?
this is a man that sometimes willingly dresses like a lumberjack
and me, being an emotional cripple, must make jokes about this.
hey my name is [NAME] i'm **definitely** who i say i am
[NAME OR PRONOUN] offered a back massage by calling it the “tickle thing”
i love a man who puts his parents in a nursing home.
my brain is going to take a hot shower
wait have u seen steve harvey's coochie
if it were me i would simply not be pregnant
look im not about to be out here saying i love [NAME OR PRONOUN] feet, but i am about to be out here saying that their feet are some of the nicest feet i've seen in a long time
i named my cloyster renesmee
[NAME] was texting me from the bathtub
you’re pregnant? That’s unfortunate.
do I say dumb shit? Perhaps. Do I take ownership? Perhaps.
i pay for things in blissful ignorance
i am an emotional vagrant
i am an emotional fragrance
to make a long motherfucking story short...
this enchilada tastes like asshole and sadness
you are not an ugly bitch, you’re just a bitch
that’s not a nut shot, buddy.
i’m sad because i sucked the meat off of this pumpkin spice latte
i want to make a blanket out of his eyebrows
what are you disgracing my Christian eyes for?
he be looking at that dick like why does it go so much to the left?
I want her to record an audio book for me so I can fall asleep listening to her voice.
Can I lick you like an ice cream cone? Asking for science.
like you're out to lunch with your bromie and you're eating some rubens or something and you wistfully look over the rim of your sunglasses and just: You ever buss 2 fast
my accent is flaccid
timotay chalamaymay’s sweet ass
on the bright side mcallister’s gave me 3 pickle spears. Almost enough to make a whole pickle.
you think they came from the same mommy pickle?
HIS DOODLE IS OUT
i thot that meant [NAME] wanted to...doodle his noodle
i don’t use commas, i don't respect u enough, fuck ur reading comprehension.
does australia have seasons
i want someone to embalm my body with mcdonalds sprite
his hermione grangina
purrrr my last email
its lore locked beneath 30 layers. u can only understand it if uve had a near death experience
LET'S GET FUCKY
i wanna have the heart of a stoner
his man titties look like little tattooed pillows
SWIGGITY SWOOTY COMIN FOR THAT BOOTY
there were no cheeks to shake. nothing to clap. no noise to be had from her literal slices of wonderbread
u ever just fuck around and ur tits fart
put a lil mint leaf on it for authenticity
alright brother god bless may u be fertile
i feel like im being advocated for something i shouldnt be advocating for
and i am adam with my fat pendulous balls lol
i’m making whuppie with whoopie godberg
theodore tits fart rex
yeah man do u also have the third toe on ur shoulder
the green spaghetti monster is coming for me and i can't blame him
today i learned starfish do not poop
that was nothing compared to some other things I saw
listen I'd willingly watch [NAME/PRONOUN] in a cell for 24 hours. Imagine that sounded less creepy
i'd lick a dirty flip flop off her abs
i’m tempted to show you all the gravity defining boobs, maybe tomorrow
my brain is on vacation
good morning! i ate breakfast and im ready to go to bed
tape the titty in
ive unironically had nightmares with [NAME] in them
the peanut in the auditory canal
so far this feel all comfortable, does this all make sense?
i know it's kind of a schlep to get through
nail polish or no nail polish for the shower?
and then he saw those big tt honkerz... and it all went down hill from there
can y’all stop chanting curses in the chat my furniture is stuck on the ceiling
EH?! CIAO? HELLO??
in Russia this is not ok
i can’t buy pants here on Sunday either
IT'S LIKE TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS TO EAT ON A SOGGY PANCAKE
imagine me going up to [NAME/PRONOUN] and being like i love the way ur flesh smells
in a supermarket. The sickly blue light where humans congregate. Animal human masses. Nameless faces. Whole lives boiled into generalized categories like "asshole who definitely does need 4 boxes of cheerios". Yout hink and realize while stabding in line u didnt grab the bag of frozen peas...but its 2 late
its truly the only picture that gives me pure joy
are weasels real
my work mum just messaged me the phrase "use your booty call wisely" with no context
"let's bring u to the mustache chair"
If you’re not doing coke under the coke sign what is the point?
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honestly i have no idea how i’m supposed to make it to ep 165
because 162 killed me, like 3 times
spoilers below the cut!
ITS GERRY!!!!!! MR KEAY I MISS YOU
but this is the first time we’ve actually Heard him, not secondhand or with spooky ghost echo, just as a normal voice on a tape. and i just want to hug him so much because ohhhh boy he has no idea what’s going to happen and also i am love him
“do i get to hear them?” “perhaps. if you live long enough.” shut up gertrude shut the fuck up don’t just mention gerry dying so casually its Rude
hmmm i might write a fic where jon, sasha and gerry are somehow all the archivist because I Can Do What I Want
ooo here we have more fire in the archives foreshadowing
did. did gerry’s chair scrape when gertrude raised her voice. like he flinched. someone hug this man
and then his voice goes all quiet when gertrude is lecturing him and Mary Keay Can Catch These Hands
“you are occasionally useful despite your foolishness” wowwww gertrude. what glowing praise. don’t just say that to his face come onnnn
but “useful” though. “useful”. i know we already know gertrude is an ‘ends justify means’ type character but goddamn if that isn’t just a perfect description of her relationships with people: categorised by their use to her plans and nothing more
“the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the archive” gertrude definitely knows about the tunnels lets be real. she’s just protecting jurgen leitner stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner goddamn fool book collecting dust eating rat old bastard shithead idiot avatar of the whore
what i wouldn’t give for gerry to have canonically beaten up jurgen leitner more than once. that’s going in my triple archivist fic
“what happens if we fail” oh. oh no. oh no whats gertrude going to say
“i suspect death puts us beyond their power” hmmm. seems like a fair point but i feel like the end would come up with some fuckery because this universe is a bastard and doesn’t let anyone get the rest they deserve. this isn’t really important to the plot (at least I Hope Not) but the thought of eldritch fear gods being able to reach us after death... chills
“[actual death] is preferable to lingering in a world they control” oh no that’s not good for jon to hear
“they might even stop death entirely.” hmmm. HMMMMMM
“and taxes?” “taxes i imagine will continue” hell yeah jonny get his ass (’him’ being capitalism). also i know the coronavirus lockdown isnt exactly an apocalypse caused by eldritch fear gods forcing themselves through into our world, but considering the shit thats been going on? yeah i imagine taxes would continue
“could it be undone?” “no, i don’t think so” oh no. oh no jon. jon nooo. he’s just playing it over and over and god he must be feeling so guilty and helpless. he also gets a hug. and another. and then three more. then one more but it lasts for like an hour before i have to phase back into my own dimension
TIM AND SASHA i’m still not prepared to hear their voices i love they
sasha is so competent she’s incredible and i am in awe of her
hell yeah tim is drinking his respect woman juice
“jimmy magma. joany magnum? jack magnet” asjdfhakjfhakjhfk tim you’re the best
“what if we kill him” Fuck Off Jonny You Can’t Do That
SADHJA WAS GOIJNG YO QUIKT I AM SJDFHKJLASLKFDJGKSDJHF
holy fuck we got canon timsasha. also “you’re not the love interest”??? sasha was a lesbian. source: me, also a lesbian. who can Do What She Wants
“you might be the character they drop after the pilot” sasha no dont say that!!!! as the character who was dropped after the pilot (ok season not episode but still) i have determined that is Illegal. and yes i know sasha was killed off for entirely valid reasons and not just dropped but shhhh i am hurting
“i dont have anything keeping me here” oh sasha. oh you sweet summer child. i wish that was the case. i really do
oh hey sasha knew about tim’s brother? martin told tim about his CV? THE S1 ARCHIVE STAFF WERE FRIENDS AND I MISS THEM A LOT BECAUSE GODDAMMIT THE S3/4 STAFF DIDN’T FOUND-FAMILY LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO
“no such thing as the real you”? “it’s all just masks”??? jonny stop stop im already dead you dont need to kill me again
(god i fucking hate that i get the stanislavsky bit. i only did drama gcse but the exam was terrible because none of the exam board’s practice questions were even anywhere close so no one was prepared and i spent so long revising all these pointless notes on how to answer the difficult questions and i regret it So Much and any reminder of that fucking bullshit exam i had to do Fills Me With Rage
“if you get eaten alive by improperly filed statements, me and martin will avenge you... we’ll burn this place to the ground.” god i am in pain. not only do we have more archives arson foreshadowing but we also have this line that hits like a punch in the gut because they didn’t avenge sasha, did they?
“i find it highly unlikely this sasha ever even existed at all” “i’m unforgettable” shut up shut the fuck up is this allowed? IS THIS ALLOWED???? because it fucking shouldnt be. it’s murder jonny time lads!!!
is. is jon crying. oh no
and then he gets fucking posessed by the cabin?? i love how the format of the statements has changed its very interesting
The One You Love The One You Love The One You Love
jonmartin are so in love that even eldritch fear cabins can’t not see it. jonny really said “you can read their relationship as platonic... but i am going to do my goddamn best to make that hard for you” huh
and fuck, this statement. it’s so creepy and i love how we cant distinguish which entity it is, because does it even matter any more? the list of 14 was a human creation anywhere, i think the ‘different parts of a body’ metaphor l*itner used is makes more sense now. it doesn’t matter which part of the body is attacking you, it matters that you’re being attacked in the first place so figuring out which part it is isn’t really a priority any more
but i think it’s mostly stranger and spiral? i also get very vague corruption vibes from the description of the planks because “they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the timber they present”? ugghhhh. corruption has often been associated with this kind of ‘wrong’ warmth (think jon amherst) and it also brings to mind that episode where the guy nails meat all over his walls and the rot makes the statement giver’s ceiling collapse. but then there’s the lonely there too, because yes jonmartin have each other but jon says it himself: “it will not let you feel the warmth of joy this love may claim to gift”. just try tell me the concept of being unable to find happiness in love isn’t Lonely, even if it’s not entirely true
but yeah basically i love the merging of entities present in this creepy statement
“our tomb” huh. the pov changes here, it’s gone from talking about jon in second person, to talking as jon in first person. so if jon wasn’t possessed by SpOoKy CaBiN like i thought (because if he was, why would he suddenly switch like this? it doesnt make sense)... then what was making that statement? my instinct is to say it was The Archivist or rather, The Archives talking about jon but like a separate personality, which... yikes
“[this will be] my chrysalis. it is time that i emerge.” monster jon? monster jon. this line gave me chills because damnnnn i love me some good eldritch!jon
“i wanted to leave and hunt down elias” hell yeah jon go and brutal pipe murder that bastard its what you deserve
martin has packed bags already and he brought tea and i love him so muchhhhh
and jon’s smile is AUDIBLE he loves martin so much my tiny heart can’t handle it
“we got this.” “apparently so 😍 “ just tell me you can’t hear the heart eyes in jon’s voice. oh wait. you cant
LET MARTIN BURN SOMETHING ITS WHAT HE DESERVES
“we can’t fight the world, martin” “says you” afkjhasfkjhadkjghdakjghakdgf
to summarise:
get ready for me to type out the same summary for all 40 episodes because jesus fucking christ. jonny’s writing never fails to make me Feel All The Emotions at once. i give this one a spooky sentient cabin out of 10
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{Special} College!AU Bang Chan
*this post was commissioned | find other stray kids writing here
major: music theory & composition
minor: linguistics
clubs: tried to turn some members of the music club into a busking group called 3racha ,,,, lets just say they got chased off campus by some of the professors LOL, briefly did tango club against his will because yugyeom dragged him to it
sports: co-captain of the mens swim team
chan is the kind of college student who you meet for the first time and you think ‘wow he’s so social and popular and cool!!!!’
and then after getting to know him for a week or two
you realize he isnt cool at all - he’s social and popular - but he’s a downright GOOFBALL
he takes his studies seriously, music means the world to him and it’s obvious
but he’s also such a ,,,,,,, in the nicest terms possible,,,,,,a big nerd about it
because he’s gotten into heated debates in classes over who the best modern composers are
written long, detailed editorials that he’s submitted to the uni magazine about how much he adores the new travis scott album
and once had to be (forcefully) dragged out of a local tattoo shop by both felix and jisung
because he was sure he needed the lyrics from drakes ‘in my feelings’ somewhere on his body
quote on quote “dude, that song is a religious experience for me”
but he’s also just devoted to it
like he lives for all aspects of music
singing, composing, producing, rapping, he even tries his hand at a dance class as an extracurricular
much to the shock of minho, an actual dance major,
who got called “my son!” by chan in front of all of his other dance major friends
and has yet to forgive chan for this horror
chan actually got offered to join the welcoming committee at the university for his sophomore year
because he has this natural leadership ability, coupled with the fact that he always wants to make everyone laugh
like he goes out of his way to make freshman and nervous looking newcomers feel like they belong
even at the expense of looking or sounding like a fool
seriously, like he was showing around some of the new music theory majors and made a bunch of attempts at corny jokes
“guys, if a cow played music what would be called? A MOO-SCICIAN!”
���what do classical composing majors say when they’re parallel parking? BACH IT UP!”
“please laugh,,,,,im begging you,,,,,”
but of course,,,he’s not a goof all by himself
him and changbin see each other on the way to class and stop in the middle of the quad to do the floss enthusiastically for one whole minute as everyone watches in disbelief
him and felix agree to photobomb literally any photo woojin tries to take of himself
and just in general,,,,,they are that loud group of rowdy boys who sometimes can get too hype and loud
but it’s hard to hate them or be annoyed because let’s be honest,,,,,they’re all adorable
chan does of course have a serious side, he’s actually incredibly caring and sensitive to those around him
when jeongin and seungmin come to visit them on campus, he takes care of them
in subtle ways, but in ways that matter [he makes sure theyre doing well in school and have plans for college too]
he can tell when a friend is feeling down or is having trouble
and he always lends advice or tries to get them to come out and do something fun with him to lighten the mood
there are times in college when his own work is piling up, he has responsibilities to his major and to the swim team he’s on
but he’ll do his best to cram time in to take care of those close to him,,,,,
sometimes at the expensive of his own wellbeing
but it’s hard to tell if chan is ever upset - he covers it up with funny jokes and body gags
him and felix love to talk and switch between english and korean super fast, mostly to annoy their friends
but they also end up blundering over simple words and hyunjin just lowkey is like
“hmm chan maybe you should pick up korean as a major,,,,,but it might be hard because youre at like a middle school level right now-”
chan, pretending to faint from that burn “when did i raise such a savage little monster,,,,”
his minor in linguistics comes from his ability to pick up languages
he actually finds them fun to learn about, but he doesnt give it the same attention as he does to his music theory major
so he kinda sometimes has to go to a tutor
(he hides this from his friends because he knows he wouldnt able to live it down)
did i mention he’s co-captain of the swim team,,,,,,and he’s like oblivious to it,,,,,,, but there are literally students who just come and watch the practice to see him in swim trunks,,,,,,
jisung once came to hangout after practice and he told chan like “did you hear your friends screaming your name back in the pool?”
and chan was like huh i thought that was just in my head
jisung, looking into the camera like he’s on the office
but no again, not matter how packed chan’s schedule is, he always makes time for people when they need him
and sometimes he’s a little too self-sacrificing,,,,,,,,
also id just like to mention that he shows up to instrumental practice with his bag over his shoulder and his hair all messy and curly after he blow-dried it after swimming
and he looks cute
like mega cute
anyway
you’re a dance major who doesnt know chan all that well
you’re much closer to minho since you share a major and youve only heard of chan in stories from him
the first time you meet face to face is when the musical theory majors are tasked with organizing a song that’ll be performed by the dance majors
you’re being paired off, two dancers to one producer
and by sheer luck you and minho get put in with chan
the first thing you notice about chan is ,,,,,,
his big almost lopsided grin
“you guys know we have to win and make this the best collab this university has ever seen - right?”
minho crosses his hands and rolls his eyes from beside you
“dude it’s not a competition”
“ok, but im making it one. and we’re winning - right?”
chan turns to you, eyes bright and a bit of a dimple coming out when his smile manages to get even bigger on his face
you nod, a little shy at how friendly he’s being right off the bat
he plops down, minho following suit on the floor of the practice room and you take a second till you join them
“i think we need to make something powerful, something show stopping. i was thinking id use some old tracks from 3racha that i made-”
minho scrunches up his nose
“i dont think the professors would like that, i think theyre looking for something classical”
chan puffs out his cheeks like an upset third grader
and you cant resist a tiny giggle
chan catches it, smiling your way before looking back at minho
“well i guess we can do that. but what about something more,,,,classical meets modern,,,,,do you guys think that’d work for you two?”
you shift a little and chan points to you all of a sudden
“c’mon, you can tell me! i wanna make sure you guys are comfortable and can perform your best! so feel free to drag any of my ideas through the mud,,,,,,,or tell minho off for me”
he chuckles, earning a light punch in the arm from minho
but you actually feel a sense of relief
you were a tiny bit worried that you’d be ignored, working with two people who were already super close
but chan was putting in the effort to include you
so, you mentioned that maybe a more high tempo beat with orchestral influence could work
chan nods - whipping out his music notebook to start scribbling down notes
you notices that the pages are covered in a mix of english, korean, and musical notes
it looks like a total mess, but somehow chan gives off a trustworthy feeling
and when you guys are all done discussing, he promises to have a demo by next week
it’s when you’re gathering all your things that chan pops back in and drops a note in the palm of your hand
“my number! so we can talk about the project and stuff”
he says easily, waving one last time to you and minho before disappearing out of the room again
you stand there, the warmth of his hand is on the paper and you don’t want to think too much about it
but your heart definitely skips a small, minuscule beat
when you finally get the message from chan that the demo is done
you and minho meet up with him after classes and chan, with trembling hands, puts the music on
you can tell he’s nervous, he looks like he might pass out from holding his breath
but the moment you hear the audio - you fall absolutely in love
and just from this one instrumental it’s obvious chan is talented
when it’s over, minho says what you’re already thinking
“it’s perfect bro!”
he gets up and highfives chan, who rubs some sweat from his forehead afterwords
“now you guys have to do the actual hard part and come up with a dance”
you shake your head “this song is really great - it’s whats going to make the performance”
chan teeters a bit with his response, for the first time he’s a little caught off guard at the compliment, and you can see the reddening of his ears
“ah,,,i mean it’s ok,,,,but really you and minho are going to have to work hard to-”
he’s interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open
an upperclassmen that calls chan over to answer some questions
you stand there, holding the USB with the mp3 of the song in your hands
your mind racing with ideas for choreography
but when you turn, you see past minho whose saying something to you
and you see only chan in the blur of the rest of the room
he’s glowing, in this halo that you’re sure isn’t actually there
and you force yourself to snap out of it
because this is weird
you shouldnt see him as anything more than your partner in this project
and that’s what you do see him as
you’re sure of it
but,,,,,,as time passes and chan starts hanging around you even more
you start to be a little unsure of where he stands in your mind
most of the time it’s you, him, and minho in the dance practice room
the song on repeat as you and minho show off anything new you’ve come up with
sometimes you end up being twirled around by minho, sometimes he’s throwing you up in the air, sometimes you’re both laying on the floor making dramatic pulls toward each other
you plan solo parts for each other too
and even though chan admits he has not much experience in judging other peoples dancing
he thinks you two look great together
he’s always supportive, and he’s always being funny to lighten the mood
there’s moments were either you or minho start to panic about it all coming together
and chan is there with some corny joke
or the usual “what did i say you guys, we’re going to be number one!”
to cheer you guys up
but when you really start to worry about your feelings
is when one weekend you get a knock on your dorm door
and to your surprise, it’s not someone on your floor asking for an extra charger or an RA trying to find your roommate
it’s chan
he’s got on a training suit, the uni’s name on the back and a duffel bag you’re sure isnt big enough to fit a guitar or anything like that
“chan?”
you ask, shocked
“did you just come from practice or something?”
he laughs, “actually a swim meet - i just thought id stop by and ask if you had time to show me your solo part of the performances.”
you blank for a second
you’d thought this would be another saturday of you laying on your stomach in your mismatched pajamas
watching videos of dancers on youtube, maybe texting a friend to go out and eat
but, even after you agree, and ask chan to wait in the hall while you change
you realize this is going to be the first time you and chan are,,,,,,,,alone
thankfully one of the practice rooms is free when you get to the building
and you suddenly feel really anxious
chan slides down against the mirror and claps
“im excited, i saw minho’s yesterday and thought i should ask you out - i mean ask to see yours too. i was going to invite him, but i think he’s doing something with jisung today”
you hear chan’s voice
but because of your anxiety, the beating of your heart is much louder in your ears
he puts the song on and you try hard to focus
you know what your solo dance is - you know the moves - youve practiced it on your own
but you cant move an inch
“h-hey are you ok?”
chan sees the way your eyes have gone wide, how you’ve frozen and cant seem to snap back out of it
he gets up, stopping the song, and suddenly you feel his hands on your shoulders
you look up into his kind brown eyes
and he gives you that smile, that’s kind of silly but still somehow so genuine
“are you nervous?”
you nod slowly, embarrassed
“s-sorry, i dont know whats going on i just-”
chan gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze
“it’s fine, but minho told me that your solo is amazing. i know you can do it. just imagine that im like,,,,wearing a big clown nose or something and relax. plus,,,”
he grins
“even if you mess up - i promise im too dumb in dancing to tell”
you laugh a little and chan goes back to sit down and get the music up
this time, you focus on yourself in the mirror
and just let the song chan wrote flow through you like water
the room melts away
even chan’s presence becomes muted
and you just dance
and when it’s over, you look to see chan’s reaction
and he just looks,,,,,,,mesmerized
he scrambles to his feet, but doesnt even say anything
his mouth open, agape like a fish out of water
“i,,,,i cant tell if you liked it,,,”
you ask with an unsure tone
and chan just shakes his head, his soft curls falling all over the place
“i loved it - i didnt think it’d be that - that beautiful you know? especially to my mediocre song-”
“your song is the reason it’s beautiful”
you blurt out, but then turn a little red when you realize what youve said
even though it’s true
a dancer has to work with something good in order to create something nice to look at
and chan’s song had resonated with you
chan stops in front of you and for a second neither of you know what to say
until he puts his hand out and goes
“let’s go get lunch. all that dancing made me hungry.”
you lift an eyebrow, “but you didnt dance,,,,”
“but you did, aren’t you hungry?”
you shrug, “i could go for,,,,pancakes maybe,,,”
chan grins, and leans down
his hand takes yours and you gasp a little when he laces his fingers betwen yours as well
“pancakes it is!”
he takes you to a nearby place, and even though it’s way past breakfast and the waitress kind of stares when you two order your pancakes and coffee
neither of you really minds
because for the first time it’s just you and chan talking
and to your surprise, there’s a lot you have in common
and it just feels comfortable
he makes everything so easy and free flowing
like you guys talk about your majors, but you talk about aspirations and traveling
and chan tells you about australia with sparkling eyes and a wildly good imitation of a koala bear
and you laugh so hard you have to hide a snort when chan ends up getting maple syrup all over his chin
but he also tells you not to hide a snort, because a snort is cute
he calls you FREAKING cute
afterwords you two return to campus
but chan runs into park jinyoung, an upperclassman, who apparently works at the college bookstore
and who pinches chan on the ear and says
“instead of dates, you should be studying. but also be sure to be a gentlemen to them.”
you blush so hard, but chan is too in pain and begging jinyoung to let go of his ear to notice
you tell chan that if he has to go, he should
but chan insists that he has time - his linguistics tutor is meeting him at 7 (please dont tell minho that)
and that maybe you guys can like watch a movie before then
you stare a little and ask “w-watch one where?”
“in my dorm!”
chan grins
but a moment later it falls into an embarrassed, worried look
“i-i-i didnt mean it- li- i just - i - we could - i just - i stole felix’s netflix password so i just thought like maybe youd want to watch like stranger things with me or something - i didnt mean i - i”
his flustering is adorable
and you do end up watching stranger things on his laptop
but it’s in the common room and you guys have to share his headphones
and when it’s nearing time for him to go
he walks you back to his dorm and gives you the longest, warmest hug of your life
when he leaves, you walk right into your room and fall face first into your pillow because
was that a date
it was totally a date
but after that,,,,,,,,you and chan don’t get to hangout one on one anymore
not to say he changes how he acts around you or anything
he’s still this sunshine goofball full of positive energy
but he doesnt,,,,,show up at your dorm asking to go out
he doesnt text you outside of the group chat with minho
and you’re just left confused
because you were sure there were signs - there had to be
it’s clear as day, the memory of chan laughing - watching you as you had leaned over the table to help him clean off the maple syrup
or how he’d let you practically lay your head in his lap while you guys watched stranger things
so why did it suddenly feel like that day,,,,,didn’t happen
as the days to the performance in front of the professors get closer
you fortunately have that to distract you
alongside other schoolwork and responsibilities
minho asks you at some point if you want to come and get dinner with him and chan
but you feel like you cant,,,,so you refuse
and it’s like being around them - your nightmare comes true, but not because they exclude you, but you start to push yourself away
the last practice before the performance
you’re running a bit late to meet up with minho and chan
and when you stop infront of the door, you hear the two of them talking
but it’s,,,,,,,,,,tense?
“so you did spend time alone with them, didn’t you?”
“yeah, they showed me their solo part. it was for the project.”
“woojin says he saw you hugging them outside of their dorm,,,,,,dude just tell me straight - it was a date right?”
there’s a pause
and you realize that they’re talking about you and chan
“no it wasn’t a date. you know i wouldnt do that to you.”
it feels for a second like the air has left your lungs
it wasn’t a date?
“i dont think of them like that.”
a second twinge of pain shoots up through you, chan’s voice resounding through the room
had you really misread the signs? was he just being friendly? did you just foolishly think that the first guy to be sweet, would inevitably fall in love with you?
you feel like running away, you really do
but you know that tonight is the last practice - after that it’s just the performance
and then you wont have an excuse to see chan, and he wont need to see you either
so you take in a breathe, plaster a smile on your face, and walk in
the two boys stop talking
there’s no change in expression from minho
he just chooses to look down
but chan does his best to match your smile, but it’s so painfully forced that you cant look at him for too long
“ok, tomorrow is the day so we just have to-”
“i know.”
you cut him off, not necessarily trying to sound angry, but just wishing that this whole thing would be over
the practice goes smoothly
but everything feels like it’s being held in a chokehold
neither you or minho is dancing to your best abilities
and chan excuses himself after the first run through
and when you find yourself in bed that night, you turn on your side and stare at the blank screen on your phone
“i guess im just an idiot huh,,,,,” you mumble
the one time something nice happens, with someone i could really come to like, it always has to get ruined
chan is nowhere to be seen in the morning
minho is adjusting the shirt he’s wearing beside you and you don’t want to admit it to yourself
but you know you’ll be super hurt if chan doesnt show up
“he’s coming, don’t worry”
minho suddenly reassures
his hand hovering over your shoulder before he pulls it back
you hear the professors call you and minho out, commenting that the instrumental had been produced by musical theory bang chan
you step out in front of the panel of teachers and scan the room quickly
looks like he really didnt come
you turn to face minho and notice he looks just as down as you do
but that’s not what matters now
you have to do a good job on the performance at least
the music starts, the music chan made for you and minho, and you let it flow through you like the first time you heard it
regardless of whats happened - the music is perfect
it fits the movements of your body like glove
you and minho look like you were born to dance this dance for this song
and because you’re so focused
you don’t see the door open quietly, chan leaning against the back wall and watching
his eyes following the tips of your fingers, the bend of your waist, the way you twirl past the professors and minho
how you take what he’s created and channel it throughout every muscle and bone in your body
he had meant it
when he said you’d made his music look beautiful
and when it’s over
you face the professors, catching your breath professionally
and then you see
chan
the professors are saying nothing but good things, praising you and minho and the music
but again - the room blurs and it’s just him
once it’s over and the other dance majors are all fawning over you two
you think that maybe you should at least go over and say thank you to chan, one last time for the music
but you cant find the strength to do it right now
instead you try to get your things together quickly and get out of there
but halfway across campus, you hear someone call your name
you turn, shocked to see chan
he’s standing maybe three feet back
and you have the urge to lie, tell him you’re late for something
but you cant say anything because the expression on his face is nothing like usual
no lopsided smile, no goofy face, no sincere and gentle reassurance
it’s pain
“hey - you heard us yesterday didn’t you?”
his voice is low, and you think you can even hear it shake slightly as he asks you
“w-what are you talking about”
you play dumb, clutching the strap of your bag so hard you feel the texture dig into your skin
“you heard what i said to minho, that i didnt think ,,,,, what we had was a date. that i didnt see you romantically,,,,”
you swallow a lump you hadnt known was in your throat
you dont feel like dealing with this now - being humiliated after a performance that took every ounce of your energy
“so what if i did, i get it. it’s fine. you don’t have to pity me or any-”
“i was lying.”
you catch yourself on the last words of your sentence
staring at chan you see that his shoulders are stiff
“i lied, to minho and to myself. it’s just,,,,,i know he likes you. and he’s my friend so i want him to be happy but i,,,,,,but i ,,,,,,”
he takes a moment
and there are students walking past you
the world is moving all around
but it doesnt feel like that, you cant tell the faces apart, you cant overhear their conversations
“but i like you too and i dont,,,,,,,i dont want to hide it anymore.”
you think this should be a happy moment, a moment that overflows you with warmth
but it feels like it cant be that
not when you now know that there are minho’s feelings involved
but past that - you know your feelings
and you know that they’re for chan
so you step forward
and so does chan
until the distance is closed between you two and you look up into those brown eyes
that are always so sweet, so kind and nurturing
“i like you too. i dont want to hurt minho, id never want to see him sad. but i want you. i want to be with you.”
chan’s lips twitch a little, like he’s fighting against a smile or a frown
“i want to kiss you”
he suddenly whispers
“but i think it’ll be bittersweet.”
you agree, eyes shifting from the curve of his mouth and back up into his gaze
you both decide that the first order of business is to tell minho
you think it’l be awkward and hard
but the moment you and chan walk through the dance practice room, minho just sighs
“i already knew it.”
he announces, before even you or chan can get to the apologizing and explanations
he looks at you gently, “i didnt want you to find out this way - but dont worry. chan is the best guy and the only one i think deserves you.”
you dont even get to thank minho
because chan throws himself into the other boys hands
sobbing about how nice that was of him to say and how he’s going to do everything in his power to find minho his soulmate
and minho is just like
“please get your boyfriend off me”
you manage to pull back chan
but you’re also like, ,,, huh,,,,,,boyfriend,,,,,,right i guess he is
but just in case
as you two are leaving the dance studio you ask
“are we like,,,dating”
chan puts a hand under his chin
“well, let’s see. i like you. you like me. minho seems to not be hurt at all about this. i want to kiss you so bad im going dizzy. i think it’s safe to say we are dating.”
you giggle, lifting up to kiss the side of chan’s cheek
“there, it’s a kiss i think we can both agree on for today.”
chan pinkness, but agrees
your first,,,well second? date is the next week
you have to wait for chan to leave class and you’re surprised to see him carrying a guitar case
he explains that he isn’t all that good, but it’s part of his major to learn instruments
and when you guys grab lunch you end up having chan teach you some chords
it’s a simple kind of date, you get to talk a lot and just enjoy each others company
but of course
chan finds some way to make it funny
(like when he tries to play the instrumental to a song you said you liked and you could tell three seconds in he had no idea what he was doing)
as you two continue to go out and grow closer you come to know more about chan
than just his goofy and caring side
there’s the chan who, in one way or another, is the dad friend
you see first hand how he worries about younger friends, how he reminds felix to call his parents after finals, how he shoves all the snacks he has in his bag into jisungs hands when jisung says he hasnt eaten
there’s the chan whose a perfectionist, critiquing his own work and musical abilities to hell and back
there’s the chan who also,,,,,,is super naive and new to this whole romance thing
surprisingly, he’s unaware of how attractive he is
and when he wears a lowcut shirt under his jacket out on a date, he keeps putting his hands over the skin and getting all shy
and you’re just like
“chan,,,,,you know you’re hot right?”
and he almost hits the ceiling like
“WHA,,,,,stop joking around!”
you: “i can’t call my boyfriend hot?”
chan, digging a whole in the ground to hide in: “yo-you’re the only hot person here,,,”
but really, dating him is such a great and positive experience
because he really is your number one fan and supporter
and it’s impossible to really argue with him - because if you want to do something, chan is down for it
even if it’s something he’s new to or owrried about
you can tell he fights through his own worries in order to make you happy
which you actually tell him he doesnt have to do
you sit down with your hands on his and youre like chan i want you to be happy too, relationships are about equality
it makes him so happy he tackles you in a hug ,,,
gosh he’s like an overexcited and loveable puppy
he does this thing where you’ll just be doing something like scrolling through your phone
or looking through a magazine
and he’ll stare at you and go “i love you”
and you’re like,,,,i love you too but why are you just saying it
and he just shrugs
“felt like it”
“when do you not feel like saying it then?”
“never. i always want you to know i love you.”
is the boyfriend who claims you think all his jokes are funny
and you’re like sure :-) *shaking your head no the moment he looks away*
pulls little, cute surprises for you every now and then
like he left a teddy bear outside your dorm with a heart balloon once
or stuck a sticky note in your bag about how you’re the cutest person ever
“love you possum”
“did you,,,did you just call me a possum”
“it’s an aussie thing. plus possums are cute”
guess who got a plushie of a possum for valentines day? you did!
guess who got a plushie of a koala for valentines day? chan did!
to be honest get ready to be called every cute pet name that’s available in english, korean, and any other language chan can remember
you become known on campus by a bunch of upperclassmen when you start dating chan
like this kid named yugyeom walks up to you and is like “did chan take you somewhere fun yet!”
or you met jinyoung again and he told you to make sure chan is studying for his minor
you and chan were just sitting on the quad once, with your legs over his and his hand stroking your hair
and it was super cute and adorable
and then woojin plopped down next to you and was like
“we found old 3racha videos we want you to see”
and you’re like “3racha?”
and woojin is just like OH YOU HAVENT HEARD
chan tried to chase him off, but jisung - who isnt embarrassed of 3racha era at all - whipped out his phone and was like “let me show you”
jokingly rapping chan’s iconic lines at him and him scrunching up his cute nose
remember when chan got those little cuts in his eyebrow ,,,, you didnt say it but you were like ,,,, ok wow,,,,,how did he get even more handsome
kissing chan? an experience
he shyly admits that his knowledge is kind of limited - and at first it’s a little sloppy
but he knows what to do with his hands, you dont know how, but he pulls you close or holds the back of your neck
and you melt
but the moment you get flirty, it literally K.O’s chan
if you as much as wink at him or slip your shirt off your shoulder he turns to color of a tomato it’s hilarious
he also really likes when you sit in his lap
he always pulls you in when he has you listen to something he’s composed
or when he’s got his computer open and he’s like come watch this
and you’re like scoot over
but he’s like no, you just can sit on my lap, it’s yours, forever
swim team chan! coming out of the changing rooms with his hair still wet and shaking it so some of the water gets on you
you get to wear his team jacket :-)
chan lowkey takes all romantic holidays and stuff super seriously, like he goes all out for anything that involves couples
and even if you’re a little embarrassed by it, he’s like no we gotta do it
matching from head to toe? probably corny - but chan is living for it
you and chan mutually agreeing to dote on jeongin like he’s a baby is just a given
because you’re both busy in college, lots of dates are like getting coffee and holding hands and being cute around campus
jisung and bangchan making gagging noises in the background
but chan always muses about taking you somewhere abroad
traveling with you and just being alone
you tell him that neither of you has the money right now but maybe in the future
you bet chan is like “oh yeah, im talking about it like our honeymoon”
“h-honeymoon?!?!”
chan, covering his outh and turning red: “i ,,, uh,,,, what,,, huh,,,”
but honestly does he daydream about marrying you? im just going to let you decide that
(it’s a hard yes. of course he does. he’s a romantic fool)
OH how could i forget
the corny texts
sure there are chan’s bad dad jokes, his selfies where he’s doing dumb faces, and the usual complaining about bangchan being mean to him
but there are also the
‘forget to tell you this, but you’re always on my mind’
‘im such a mess, im thankful you still love me’
‘when the world overwhelms you, ill be there to listen to your fears’
and the one that made you nearly break your phone in half because ,,,, cuteness and corn overload
‘im yours, so you better take responsibility for that’
chan is the kind of guy who’d let you draw on his face with a sharpie or lipstick and he’d wear it outside proud because this is my s/o’s art!
if you asked him to run across town to get you cheesecake at 2 am? consider it done
he just loves you with his big heart and,,,,it’s amazing
but you love him with as much passion - and that’s what makes him truly feel like you’re the one
because you match him perfectly
slow dancing in his dorm to the sound of a self composed instrumental he made just for your anniversary
and then kissing softly with his hans on your hips and your hands on his face
and him leaning back to tell you
you’re the best thing that has ever happened to him
yeah that’s just one night dating chan, can you imagine dating him forever??????
day6: jae | wonpil | youngk | sungjin
by group: bangtan | vixx | got7 | nct | kard | monsta x | seventeen
gg specials: amber | momo | irene
commissioned: iu | chanyeol | hongseok | baekhyun
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Do all the asks coward
1. what does your wallet look like?
-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:
2. favorite color?
- baby pinnk
3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?
-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.
4. describe your favorite outfit
-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]
5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?
-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))
6. do you use nail polish?
-i do, i mostly do black tho
7. do you keep organized?
-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN
8. ever take naps?
-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later
9. who was your first crush?
-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.
10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?
-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk
11. describe your ideal day
-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)
12. describe your ideal date
-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!
13. whats your favorite food?
-either sushi or strawberries :3c
14. who do you feel most comfortable around?
-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble
15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?
-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry
16. did you/do you like highschool?
-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing
17. favorite animal?
-i think its cats now. i really like cats
18. do you like your name?
-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk
19. what kind of weather is your favorite?
-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure
20. do you believe in horoscopes?
-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them
21. tell us about your music taste
-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will
22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?
-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet
23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?
-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once
24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?
-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me
25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?
-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]
26. do you have any pets?
-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine
27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?
-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway
28. what makes you smile?
-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise
29. what makes you feel heavy?
-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread
30. what makes you feel better?
-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed
31. how do you show your love?
-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening
32. when is it time to get a haircut?
-whenever u want to lol?
33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?
-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city
34. do your friends and family take good care of you?
-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit
35. have you always used the labels you use now?
-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me
36. what makes you laugh?
-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me
37. who is your favorite fictional character?
-too many options, see list here
38. who do yo admire?
-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me
39. describe yourself in three words
-i am baby
40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes
41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?
-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!
42. what would you do if you win the lottery?
-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water
43. would you call yourself a romantic?
-yes
44. what is your gayest childhood memory?
-my mom had cosmos magazines
45. do you have tattoos or want any?
-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain
46. whats your worst habit?
-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends
47. what are you proud of?
-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))
48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?
-hi i love you?
49. whats your favorite memory?
-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out
50. do you have a sweet tooth?
-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties
51. what do you like most about yourself?
-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes
52. what makes you fall for a girl?
-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it
53. make a recommendation
-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix
54. have you ever had your heart broken?
-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again
55. when do you feel most yourself?
-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit
56. name a gorgeous celeb
-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal
57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?
-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz
58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears
-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love
-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college
59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?
-raspberry i guess
60. are you okay?
-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.
gobble you test me but i do love you
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