#just some mild concern about his PR image | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

finleyjayne · 4 years

Text

You Should Care

Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

1000 Follower Celebration for @justkending! Happy Birthday~ Thank you for being so welcoming to me. Also, like really hope this doesn’t disappoint.

Text Prompt: “Yeah, go write me a 1000 page essay on it, and maybe I’ll care.”

Warnings: swearing, mild angst.

Summary: You have had enough of Steve overlooking your advice when it comes to reconstruction after his many exploits with the Avengers because you are his girlfriend. So you come up with a plan, and, with Pepper Potts help, you are going to put a solution into place. Hopefully, you can convince him that you know what you’re doing.

There was a definite divide between Captain and Steve in your relationship. It was always there, and usually, there wasn't a problem. It's important to compartmentalize when it comes to personal and work matters, but sometimes... sometimes, you just wish that he would see you as more than just his girlfriend.

Honestly, you have credentials that shouldn't be taken for granted. You had worked in war zones as a medic and relief co-ordinator. This made it increasingly difficult to accept that your sweet and caring Steve wouldn't listen to you when you brought his attention to the increasing disregard for the citizens the Avengers try to protect.

Sometimes his tactics take no consideration to the refugees that will be displaced. People who never ask for the battles to be fought near their homes. They never wanted to be there. They want to live their lives, go to work, go home, spend time with friends. Captain, doesn't see that. He sees an objective and one way to get it done. Determined to do the right thing, even if it leaves the people there worse for wear.

The last time you brought it to his attention, there was nothing that could convince him that there needed to be something to help out after. Nothing that could keep him from doing what he could to take down the HYDRA base, screw the consequences. Even when it meant destroying one of the only schools in the area. He dared to have the gall to say, "well, I know that they need the help, but I don't know how you expect us to do anymore. There isn't anything that you can expect from us."

You couldn't take it anymore. If Captain America wouldn't change his tactics, you would change yours. After all, he did make a good point, there is only so much a single, lone soldier can do.

So here you are, walking up the front steps of Stark Enterprises to talk to not only Captain Rogers but also his team and CEO Virginia "Pepper" Potts. Taking a deep breath to force yourself to focus, you walk through the doors to start going through the heavy security of the tower. Finally, using the clearance that Steve had you get so that you could come to see him if, read when, he gets injured.

Now though, he doesn't know you're coming, you are on my own personal mission, and he will NOT be stopping you. He will not ignore you this time. There will be no shutting you out. You are going to make sure that no more innocent people will take the brunt of the Avengers' crime-fighting. There needs to be some type of clean up crew that comes in after the fact to give these people the medical, emotional, and technological help to reconstruct the people's lives after they are hit as collateral damage.

You already know what half of them are going to say. The outlook is bright in this going in your favor, but honestly, there are no reasonable excuses. They may save the world but, if they aren't careful, they may end up breaking it in the process. People are going to start revolting against their help. You want to prevent that, and this plan is just one step in that direction. They do good, but they need to be a little better at managing collateral damage. You know for a fact that the PR department of Stark tech has been up their asses about it. It's one of the main things Steve complains about after his rarely-talked-about missions.

Sighing, you walk into the elevator. "Hello, Future Mrs. Rogers, I take it you are here to see Mr. Rogers?"

"No, Jarvis, I am actually here for my meeting with Ms. Potts and the Team," you state, rolling my eyes at Tony's inability to call me my name, even through his AI. "Will you take me to floor 39? And don't let Captain Rogers know I am here, please."

"No problem, Miss. I will envoke Ice Out Capcicle Protocol 7."

Head held high, you give a slight nod. No time to dwell on the fact that Tony programmed a protocol to keep someone from running into Steve at the moment. You don't even know if you want to know why it needed to be coded.

Stepping off the elevator, you are met by the glorious visage that is Pepper Potts. From her perfectly-quaffed hair to the stylish yet functional clothing, her appearance practically screams I have authority, do as I say.

You give her a timid smile, "Ms. Potts, Thank you for seeing me today. I hope this meeting goes as well as you lead me to believe it would."

"{Y/N}, as I've told you before, call me Pepper. I read your proposal, and honestly, I have been looking for a fix to this problem ever since Tony came out with his alias as Iron Man. It's as if you could read my mind. Now, all we have to do is make the team aware."

Your smile grew more genuine, "Well then, we still have a whole battle in front of us. God only knows what the Captain will think when he knows that I've been working on this. He can be such an old man sometimes."

"Well, even if he complains, he knows full well that this is what you have been trained to do. That's more than he can say about his own beginning." Pepper says with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, let's get this battle underway, why don't we?" you answer, already looking forward to this presentation being over.

Going into the meeting room, you take your place at the head of the table, setting your briefcase down. "Jarvis, can you bring up the folder ARF onto the Holoscreen?"

"Of course, Miss." Was the prompt reply. Soon following, a set of photos, pie charts, graphs, and other little snippets projecting into the air above the table. "The team will be arriving in the next five minutes, along with Director Fury. Would you like anything else in the meantime?"

"Thank you, Jarvis. I don't think I need anything else." You say.

"Jarvis, is Tony's lab still on lockdown from this morning?" Pepper asked from her seat to the right. Her eyes still scanning over something on her StarkPad.

"Yes, Ms. Potts, he is on his way."

"Good." Right as she responds, the majority of the team comes in taking their preferred seats around the table. Their faces show a mix of curiosity, suspicion, and confusion at seeing me there.

Steeling my nerves as best you can, you stand going through the photos and graphs, ordering them for later reference and shrinking them so that they are out of the way until you need them. Chatter fills the room as their conversations continue. With a faint smile, you look up to watch Steve and Tony walk into the room, followed by a cantankerous Director Fury.

With one look, Steve smirks. "Hi, honey, I didn't expect you to visit today."

You smile, "Yeah, I have a meeting for that new project I've been working on." His eyes flash with confusion as he opens his mouth. Before he can speak, you cut him off, "Welcome, General Ross, it's good that you could make it. Now that everyone is here, we can start." Hopefully, Steve didn't ruin this.

"Thank you for having me, Ms. Potts said that you had a solution to some of our concerns?" His brow scrunches in concern as he folds his arms over his chest.

"Indeed, she has. {Y/N} has been a lifesaver with a new project that Stark Industries is undertaking to proactively increase the security of the world's opinions on the Avengers. It will also help with reconstruction after world catastrophes like the Invasion of New York, should something like that happen again." Pepper explains, "Not to mention, it will be a big help to the Avengers PR team."

You give Pepper a thankful smile before turning to start the meeting only to have my mouth filled with Tony's voice.

"Wait? Roger's Housewife is the Humanitarian Aide-specialist you've been talking to and raving about for the past month? Really?" Tony barks as you smirk, finding his eyes shine with intrigue as he looks you over.

"Tony, your misogyny is showing," Natasha probes with an eye-roll.

"But she..."

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Mr. Stark. Anyway, as Ms. Potts was saying, I've noticed a negative trend, and I want to help." Flicking your hand, you shower the table with images of towns, both before and after Avengers' battles have taken place near, or in them. "The Avengers do essential work, but every time there is a battle or an operation, many innocent people are harmed or injured. People that don't have anything to do with the conflict. Some of those people will never be able to save themselves from the devastation that has been rained down around them. Between the buildings that have been crushed, the people who are injured, and the emotional and mental trauma that comes from not being safe in your own home, full economies have collapsed. As of right now, there is nothing in place to clean up after the Avengers take down whatever big bad comes out of the shadows."

Looking around, you see the director is following along with a skeptical look, Natasha is smirking like she already knew what you were going to say and approved. Clint is wholly zoned out; upon further inspection, you see his hearing aids on the table. Tony is glaring, probably thinking about his own solutions to the problem, while Rhodey is smiling in encouragement. Skimming over the rest, your eyes catch Steve's glower. Notably pissed at you for bringing this up in a more formal environment.

"That is where I come in. As some of you know, I used to be a wartime medic, and as Mr. Stark has previously stated, I am now a certified Humanitarian Aide Specialist. It used to be my job to take care of the people displaced by wars like those in the Middle East. In my time there, I have been able to help many people by rebuilding their little pieces of the world. I have put together a team of Medics, Contractors, Therapists, Teachers, Farmers, and others to go in after the Avengers to play clean up. To make it so that we don't cause more harm than good. To keep us as the good guys in people's eyes."

After you were done speaking, the room was silent. You met their eyes, keeping your breath even as you waited to be interrupted. After a few beats, you realized that they were all intently listening, even Steve looked like he was listening intently to your compromise.

You have to swallow the lump in your throat before speaking, "The first response team consists of Trauma Specialists with field medic experience lead by myself. Along with a crew of Hotshots and Firefighters. The secondary response depends on what is needed, all focusing on rebuilding affected infrastructures and betterment within the economies of these countries. They will be working with the respective governments to help not only restore but also improve upon what was lost. I recruited them from many places. Most of them are personal contacts from my time overseas and locally. All of them are cleared by both Jarvis' background check and SHEILD's screening. I don't know if this is going to work, but I cannot stand aside and let you devastate the lives of any more innocent people without at least trying to help."

Taking a deep breath, you look up into their faces. Their expressions were a mixed bag of emotions. Pepper was smiling at me encouragingly as the rest of the Avengers' faces seemed very accepting of this proposal, Rhodey, Natasha, and Tony looked the most impressed. Steve was glowering at a graph set hovering by his seat, trying to figure out exactly how bad he should feel for ignoring your expertise. Fury was the only one who seemed unsold on the benefits of this situation.

"And why exactly should I be interested in this, Ms. {Y/L/N}. From what you've said so far, none of this concerns SHIELD or the work that they do.

"Well sir, although they are an independent organization, they do tend to reflect on the world's view of America-"

"- I am a very busy man and don't have time for this. Write me a 1000 page essay on it, and maybe I'll care." Fury interrupted.

"One step ahead of you. Here is my thesis on defense by building infrastructure. A 1,297 word debrief on why you should give this your stamp of approval and help. And finally, A contract with stark enterprises to co-operate and co-fund ARF or the Avenger Relief Foundation. Already gone over by Agent Hill, all you have to do is sign it." You calmly reply, sliding him a folder of the stated documents on top of a bound copy of your thesis.

Fury glowers at you through his one healthy eye. "Well, I see you've done the leg work. I'll give it a once over and be back with you." He grumbles, grabbing the folder and leaving the thesis. "I don't have time for that." He calls over his shoulder on his way out the door.

"Well, whether or not fury gives his okay on this project, Stark Industries has already started preparations to pick up and implement the ideas you've presented to us, {Y/N}." Pepper states. "I look forward to working with you and can't wait to see your successes."

With that, everyone nodded, giving their congratulations and well wishes. Leaving just you and Steve, who is still enraptured in the data you had put together.

Unwilling to start this conversation, you walk around the conference table to pick up the thesis.

"I owe you an apology, {Y/N}," Steve stated.

You look at him through your lashes at the corner of your eye. "What exactly for, Captain?" you ask, busying yourself with your briefcase as he stood there looking apologetically at you.

"You were right, I just didn't want to listen. I didn't want you to be right because it would mean that for the last couple of years, I've been ignoring the people I've vowed to protect." He says, going back to looking at the images still being projected over the space. "I am sorry that I didn't listen to you when you told me that there were ways to change. I still don't really like the idea of you putting yourself into more danger, but I can see why we need this. I am proud of you for following your heart." Steve says, looking at you, earnestness filling his blue eyes.

"You did save them from the big bad, and sometimes it's harder to admit we are wrong than we would like it to be. I forgive you, but next time I say something, at least try to be open. I may act like your typical 50's Housewife, but I can assure you I will kick your ass. We are a team, I am here to help you, just as much as you are here for me." You tell him as you come over to him, brushing your arm down his arm sweetly.

" How did I get to be such a lucky man?" He asks, giving you a dopey grin.

"You didn't do anything. You are just Steve. Now that I know you aren't going to skin me alive for fighting this battle, do you wanna go out to lunch?" You blush, picking up your briefcase.

"Whatever you want, sugar. I gotta show the world how beautiful and smart my best girl is. I mean, she is going to save the world, one village at a time." Steve says, wrapping you in his giant arms.

#justkendingwritingchallenge #steve x reader #protective steve rogers #Steve Rogers #stevexreader #my first reader insert #fins reads #fins' fic recs #fins' recs #fins recs fics #fanfiction #fic reblog

63 notes · View notes

annashipper · 5 years

Text

JT Anon

Ok so this is going to be a wildly unpopular opinion that you will wholeheartedly disagree w Anna, but here goes

I kinda hope they phase BC out of the MCU. Im not one of these fans that wants him to fail or to vanish forever or will never see another project until he leaves sophie (i don’t think thats ever going to happen). I just don’t think he fits w the MCU anymore and he is kinda, to me, a bummer stain on an otherwise fun experience.

The actors in the MCU are literally the only actors I’ve ever taken a mild interest in outside of their movie roles. Meaning i won’t immediately change the channel if they are on late night, or I might flip through a mag if they are in there, or im actually interested in their thoughts on their char.

The actors in the MCU, for the most part, are super engaging. They engage the fan base in a really great way. Now granted, I get it, lots of that is coaching etc, I get that. However, the actors all engage w the material and the fanbase in a really great way. they have lovable personalities, they all seem humble and grateful and excited to be there. Even RDJ who plays on this kinda ego centric char he has is totally endearing and everyone gets it. They make the fan base feel like they are all a part of something, everyone is in it together, they genuinely want everyone to have a great time, they get how much these stories can mean to a lot of people.

Now im sure someone can pull up an anecdote here or there where MCU actors have not been their best selves, but for the most part, MCU actors make the fanbase feel loved and valued. MCU fans are not talked down to by them. Each actor has a unique and lovable personality that is engaging

BC sticks out like a sore thumb. He isn’t delivering DRS and MCU toys to hospitals, he doesn’t have social media, so he isn’t engaging w elements of the fanbase that does charity work. He doesn’t talk excitedly about DRS and MCU projects, he doesn’t comment on fan art and projects in a respectful way (ignoring the freakier ones). Now i know the dusted actors were not doing the rounds media wise, but still

Ben just comes off as someone who thinks he is above all that. All i see and think about when i think about BC and MCU fans is a guy who is just so sick of fans. Fans are all obsessed w him and won’t they go away. anyone who doesn’t worship him and dares to chat in a neg way about what he is putting out is a stalker, florals, they are all so tiring! poor, poor women who lost themselves when he married, your uteruses still have use w out him! he just seems like he doesn’t want to be there and is delusional about how much people care about him beyond gossip and riling each other up for fun

To me BC is in a totally different category from the other main MCU actors. BC is running around to the MET gala acting a fool, Ben is running around too busy trying to sell every single stitch of clothing on his body. ben is too busy branding and selling his family. ben is trying to wring every last red cent out of every move he makes.

And before anyone jumps down my throat w a long list of products MCU actors sell, I KNOW. its about the feel of it.

Ben these days comes off as a stuck up, toffy snob who doesn’t want to be there. Ben comes off as someone who has disdain for his fans, and while he def wants them to keep him and his wife in expensive vegan clothing and millionaire status, they need to just shut the fuck up and hand over the cash. Ben comes off as someone who is entitled to fame and attention, but on his terms. Ben comes off as someone desperate to merch and brand himself. Ben comes off as someone waaaay more concerned at the moment w selling every single article of clothing he and his wife has, every single life event he can get a sponsor for.

His image is a bummer ink stain on the MCU. He is like the stuck up boring cousin at the fun family reunion who spends his whole time pouting on his phone. the only time he engages is when he is the absolute centre of attention, and he has to be making cash money off of it or he isn’t interested. he is like that one person at school who won’t shut up about how many haters they have and how jealous everyone is of them, and how he just wants to do him, meanwhile no one is actually thinking about him like that.

Think of any MCU actor and you can think of cute, funny, humble, joyful, REAL feeling fan engagement.

W BC you just get a grown ass man whining, pouting, doesn’t want to be there, would rather be selling shoes and shirts and hats

as a fan i have absolutely no interest in him as an MCU actor. I don’t want to sit there and have my eyes roll out of my head while he either sells me some product or makes some delusional comment about how obsessed, OBSESSED EVERYONE is w him and his family and WHY WON’T THEY JUST LEEEAAAVE HIM AND HIS WIIIFE ALONE (ps please buy these shoes, please buy sophies dress, please check out this vendor that sponsored our wedding, please look at the menu of the person making vegan food for us, please buy the pictures of our kids please please please)

he has moved on from depressing to why don’t you just leave then? honestly?you would rather be throwing yourself all over a red carpet and selling clothing and jewellery and cars and vegan shoes and talking about how hard it is to be you because youre so famous, then go do that. go do period piece after period piece in between selling washing machines. i might even see one.

BC is like getting together w your fav cousins and your mom say you have to take the annoying one along too, and he just ruins your day by complaining about being tired all the time and talking about all the expensive shit his dad in another state buys him

just let us check out fan theory and make memes and talk shit and watch interviews in peace. STFU about the stuff you have for sale. STFU about how obsessed everyone is. go to the met gala, go arrange paps for attention. just GO live the fame life you clearly think you have. let people enjoy MCU shit w out you popping in every few months to remind us that youre here too and SO SO FAMOUS

its getting to kinda ruin MCU shit to me. If i know BC will be involved, im not interested.

I just don’t want to hear him whine, and i don’t want to have another fucking thing sold to me, and thats all he’s got

J got sooooo many haters T anon

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well, you’re right in one regard JT. I wholeheartedly disagree with all of the above. Not because I’m contrary and a SkeptoNanny (which of course I am), but because you’re wrong :P

Ben didn’t do ANY promo for Endgame, so if we’re going to talk about him being a killjoy during promo for MCU projects, we have to revisit what he’s done during Doctor Strange and Infinity War promo.

And while, yes, he did make a faux pas (a pretty major one) with that incredibly stupid quote on his Vanity Fair cover interview where he thought it wise to casually mention his wife and child are not a PR stunt, other than that, his promo tour for Doctor Strange was pretty much the same as any other promo for a standalone superhero movie within the MCU.

And then there was Infinity War promo, which was more about promoting the MCU than it was about promoting himself. I would argue that he actually did a stellar job with that. He even brought quite a bit of DorkyBatch out to play:

I mean...

So yeah. If we’re going to have a serious conversation, we have to be very precise about the timing of what Ben says and does; especially when it comes to MCU promo.

Meanwhile, since you brought up charity projects linked to the MCU, let me remind you that Ben has been involved with those multiple times, through Omaze, and he even did it for Endgame (which he supposedly would have no part in and didn’t really have to do, because his character had already been dusted out of existence).

By the way, the shoes he’s selling are not always vegan. Not the ones he wore to the MET Gala (LINK) anyway :P

#JT anon

26 notes · View notes

mymelodyheart · 3 years

Text

Starting Over Chapter 18 ~The Past, the Present and the Unknown~

She knows! Jamie took one look at Claire and knew exactly what was going through her head. The moment he'd mentioned Geneva Dunsany's name, the air around them shifted into a slow-motion, catching every nuance of change in everyone's expression, particularly Claire's. The news from Forbes was the anticlimax to what should have been a perfect day, leaving a sharp taste in his mouth like a sour bomb had gone off in his guts and turning the whisky he'd drank into acid. The past always had a way of catching up, and it picked the wrong day of all days. This was his penance for the rest of his life, for all the one-night stands he'd had, and the cost could be Claire. But not if he could help it. Damn his past!

Geneva Dunsany was a name Jamie thought he'd never come across again. She was from another lifetime ago, and they'd first met at a London pub when her team won their first gold in rowing during a World Cup. He couldn't remember clearly the events of that night except that they'd chatted at the bar, had too much to drink, and somehow they'd ended up spending the night together in a hotel room. The next day, they'd parted amicably, and a picture of them was splashed across the papers. GOLDEN GIRL DUNSANY OF BRITISH ROWING SEEN HAND IN HAND ENTERING HOTEL WITH RUGBY BAD BOY FRASER.

Sports fans following their respective careers had been excited about the news, but nought had come out from the one-night affair. Their physical distance wouldn't have bode well for a relationship even if Jamie had been interested in one, especially between two dedicated elite athletes where focus and dedication to their craft were paramount. Soon the story was forgotten until Geneva got in touch with him through his agent.

When they'd met in Edinburgh to talk, Geneva dropped the bombshell and told him she was pregnant with his child. Jamie's sense of duty and responsibility immediately kicked in, and the only option he could think of was marriage. He may have been known for his playboy lifestyle, but one thing he never did was shirk from his obligations. Jamie took the news in the chin and asked Geneva to marry him, and she'd accepted. It was the right thing to do and what his parents would have expected of him.

Although Jamie wanted their engagement to be on the quiet, the news of their upcoming secret nuptials still made it to the gossip columns, prompting Geneva's estranged sister, Isobel, to warn him that the child she was carrying was from another man. And sure enough, after confronting Geneva and demanding they both see the doctor, she admitted to the ruse with loads of tears, pleading and tantrum.

The wedding was cancelled in the end, and to his horror, Geneva had an abortion. She'd used the unborn child to trap him, and when she'd no more use for it, she terminated the pregnancy. It was cold and calculating, and whatever little respect he had left for the sportswoman, it was gone in an instant.

The news of their engagement eventually died a natural death and was labelled as just another gossip. Still, parts of that story refused to die down. According to some self-proclaimed reliable sources, Geneva had been pregnant and was forced into abortion because Jamie had not wanted any part of it. Despite his irritation over the lies, he never attempted to address the rumours. What would've been the point, he thought. Nobody would've believed for one minute that womaniser, James Fraser was capable of doing the right thing.

Thinking about it now, Jamie knew being photographed with Geneva in one of the most important sports events would rouse gossip mongers to stir up old stories. Of course, the network had known that. They were pairing him with her for the sole purpose of increasing viewership and ratings because of their history. It was never about his know-how in rugby, nor his eloquence to discuss the game with an audience. The determining factor had always been how marketable he would be for the network company.

"Surely, they cannae make me do that or can they?" Jamie asked his agent over the phone.

"They can do whatever they like. It's their money." Forbes reasoned with mild exasperation. "Look, it's only for one night. Or maybe two ..."

"Two??" Jamie almost yelled. "What the fuck, Forbes. I finally have a girlfriend and now this? How do ye think all this palaver is going to look like to her and my family?"

"Listen, Jamie. Ditch the girl and think of your future. There's plenty more where she came from. You've never had problems parading yourself for a bit of PR before, so what's the fuss now? You and Geneva have a past, and by appearing together, it will generate publicity. All the network wants is for you to pull in more women audience. That's all. Competition is tough, and they know that women all over the country will love seeing your face up close on their TV screen. Do you think they're interested in rugby? Hell no! But don't worry, there'll still be real rugby fans who will tune in to your rugby analysis. And for such minimal trouble, you'll be getting a good contract. No! Allow me to correct that. A bloody great contract that could make you even richer. Think of the endorsements that will follow soon after once you're trending in social media. You will be able to set up that rugby academy you once told me about."

The rugby academy! That had been the dream before the accident forced him into early retirement. Jamie let out a hollow laugh. "Are you listening to yersel'?"

"Are you? What have you done to the old Jamie??"

"I like the new me," Jamie shot. "Ye said once that the network is all about clean image and representing those ideal. Now they want to parade me with someone who almost tricked me into marriage? It's not making any sense ..."

"But those stories about you and her were never confirmed. In their eyes, Geneva is wholesome and good for your image."

"Forbes," Jamie said in a low warning voice. "Do something about this. All I'm interested in is rugby. Fuck the endorsements and fuck Geneva. And next time you tell me to ditch my lass, ye'll be smiling on the other side of yer face."

Forbes sighed. "Listen. You're not just going to be a regular presenter during rugby games, but they're also dedicating a weekly rugby show with you as a host. It's a huge gamble taking you on to run the whole thing, even though they've seen you talk on live TV and liked what they saw. I'm quite sure they have faith in you to draw in the audience without having to go through the unnecessary superfluities. But they want their arses covered as you're getting a lot of money out of this; hence Geneva."

"And I have faith in you that you'll do whatever ye can to convince them that Geneva is not the answer ...as, like them, I want my arse covered too." And without giving his agent a chance to reply, Jamie switched off the phone.

How the bloody hell am I going to explain this to Claire if the network won't budge? Jamie got angrier, the more he thought of Geneva. When Isobel had confided that her sister was manipulative, he had a sneaking suspicion that Geneva had started the rumour about his desertion during her pregnancy. Apparently, she had also been responsible for the break-up of Isobel's marriage after she had a short-lived affair, and he wouldn't put it passed her to stir up some more trouble.

"Hey, at least, your date is in shipshape," Claire said, drawing his attention to her once more.

He watched her down his whisky, taking steps in her direction and grasping her elbow. When she winced, and her face paled, he realised that his fingers were digging deep into her skin, and she'd thought his anger was directed at her. He let go and took deep calming breaths. He was aware the whole family and Joe were staring at them, but he didn't care. The only person he was concerned about was Claire. "Sassenach, can we talk? Please?" he begged, his voice sounding rusty in his ears.

The uncertainty in her expression gutted him. "Jamie, you don't need to explain. I understand. Go. Go with Geneva to the award's night and do what you need to do. This is important to you." And then she whispered just for his ears. "We both know, this thing between us isn't going to last anyway."

Alarm bells started to go off, and he didn't like the tone of resignation in her voice. He shook his head. "No! I want ye there at the award's night, beside me. Please let's talk about this privately. What ye think ye know of Geneva, isn't true. Let me explain."

"But why? Why do you want me there? You'll just risk annoying your future bosses and for what?" she said in a low voice.

Jamie combed a hand through his hair, unsure how to navigate the situation. Looking at the stubborn jut of her chin, Claire was obviously not going to go willingly with him to talk. Fortunately, his family sensed his predicament and got up and left. Once they were alone, he led Claire to a seat and knelt in front of her. "I want ye there because ye're important to me." When she remained silent, his heart constricted. He wanted to erase the sadness in her eyes and be the reason for her smile. "A-and I like the way ye look at me when I've done something good. Ye make me feel everything is right with the world when we're together. Am I making any sense?"

Her eyes went soft. "Jamie, but you are good, and you need to believe that. It's just that ..." She licked her lips and clasped her hands on her lap. "...we need to get real about this. If I came to the awards, I'd just be an added pressure, and that's the last thing you need. And I'm beginning to see this relationship is not a good idea at all. Look at you. You look so torn, and I don't want to be the cause of that."

"W-what? What are ye trying to say? That's no' the case at all." A sudden pain pierced through his heart, taking his breath away. "Are ye saying this is over? We haven't even begun, Sassenach."

"Look at it this way, Jamie ... I'm making this easy for you. Let's end this before everything turns ugly."

"No, no. That's not true." Christ, this can't be happening. The panic that gripped him felt like one massive snowball, gaining momentum and destroying everything in its path. He grabbed hold of shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Sassenach, when I asked ye to be with me, I never intended to hide ye from the world. So please, don't do this. I'm a better person because of ye."

Watching her close her eyes and roll her lips inward, he felt like his life hung on a balance, kneeling before her with his head on the block. He braced himself as if waiting for the axe to fall, hoping it would be painless and swift. He was just beginning to see the light after a long depression and was about to get a job that would keep him in the world of rugby, but somehow, his progress suddenly meant nothing if Claire decided to walk away.

When she finally looked at him, he held his breath. Her beautiful amber eyes were bright and full of questions. "Jamie, do you want me there because you're trying to avoid Geneva and I'm just a means to keep her away from you?" she asked softly.

"No! Geneva never even crossed my mind when I asked ye to come with me to the awards. I asked ye to be my date because ye're my lass, that's the top and bottom of it." He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers, watching her closely with hooded eyes.

"B-but ..." She hesitated and frowned.

"But what?" he urged gently. "Ye can ask me anything, and I will tell ye the truth."

She took a deep breath. "Is it true you got Geneva pregnant and made her terminate the pregnancy?"

"No," he said with conviction, squeezing her hands with both of his and looking directly into her eyes. "She was pregnant, but I wasnae the father. A lot of the articles written about me is untrue and twisted, and that's one of them. I wish I could stop the lies, Sassenach but, unfortunately, I have nae control over what people say, presume or write." He swallowed the shame and guilt of his past and soldiered on to give Claire the whole truth. "But I did sleep with her. Once. And it was the biggest mistake of my life. Geneva is a liar, and she would use deceit to get her own way."

He revealed Geneva's underhandedness and her attempt to trick him into marriage, not sparing out any details no matter how difficult it was to admit the ugly part of the lifestyle he once led. Claire listened intently, probably searching his face for deception, but to his surprise, there was only understanding in her eyes and no judgement of his character whatsoever.

When Jamie finally finished telling her the story, he felt lighter and emotionally exhausted, as if he'd just confessed a lifetime of sins and he'd been absolved by a priest. "That's the truth, Sassenach and I swear, I would never lie to ye," he said in the end.

Her hand reached out to touch his face. "I believe you," she whispered. "I've never doubted your words. I only wanted to understand."

A ray of hope shimmered in the horizon as Jamie allowed his head to fall on her lap in relief, his arms going around her waist to pull her closer. "Thank Christ! I ken I've messed up a lot in my life, but I dinnae want to mess this ...us up. Please say ye'll come with me to Glasgow. Dinnae tell me we're over."

"I don't want us to be over too, Jamie ..." She ran her fingers through his scalp, making him shudder with need and desperation. "But if you go against the wishes of the network and show up with me at the award's, you might never get the job. And if you do get the job and we remain together, there will be other instances like this wherein you have to make difficult choices for the sake of PR. And I'll hate myself every time you choose me because it would mean I'm taking something that means the world to you away. Not to mention the intrusion I'd be subjecting myself to. It's too much of a hassle for a relationship that has an expiration date, Jamie, and one day, you'll resent me for the choices you made if ever your career with the network doesn't pan out."

He raised his head from her lap and cupped her face with his hands. "No, Sassenach. I can never resent ye for anything," he said softly. "Just give us a chance to see where this goes. Please."

Her cheeks were flushed from the summer heat, and her eyes glistened. He battled the urge to gather her in his arms and sink his face in whatever part of her was closest, but they needed to talk. He knew she suffered enough heartaches to last a lifetime, from the time she was orphaned to the abusive hands of her ex-fiance. And yet here she was, courageous, choosing to keep moving forward, instead of living in the past, and she was daring him to do the same.

She'd brought him out of the dark and challenged him at every turn, making him break the many rules he'd made for himself. When he'd debated in his head, he was undeserving of her, her kisses and touch told him otherwise. And every time she looked at him, she made him feel like more of a man than he ever had in his life, and not a piece of meat, to be passed around and prodded for someone's entertainment. So much so, he'd forgotten to disguise those ever-present vulnerabilities and laid them bare for her to see. He felt lighter, stronger, and a better version of himself.

Although his passion for rugby had landed him numerous opportunities to make a name for himself and earn ridiculous amounts of money, he knew once the network had milked him for all he's worth, they'd spit him out faster than he can say his full name.

Claire was a rare gift, put into his path, and he knew he would never come across someone like her again. But she was pointing out reasons to end this relationship, and it was astonishing how much it was hurting him. It was like as if life was slowly being sucked out of his system, and there was nothing he could do about it. Why the hell have I put a time limit to this relationship then? If he didn't sober up fast enough, she would meet someone, and by the time he made up his mind, she'd be lost to him. Forever. He didn't want to be anyone's entertainment anymore. Instead, he wanted to bask in Claire's light, and to love her and worship her with everything he had in him.

The sudden realisation hit Jamie like a sledgehammer, making his heart disperse into million pieces before assembling back together and settling into maddeningly accelerated beats. I love her. Christ, I love her. The newfound feelings felt outside of his control, a flame that fed itself, and had no way of extinguishing.

"Jaime?? Are you alright?"

"Huh?" He looked at her, not entirely understanding what she was saying.

"Your pulse. I can see your pulse beating rapidly, and your face looks like you've seen a ghost. Do you have low blood pressure?"

"W-what?" He realised he was still holding her face, and she was staring at the side of her neck. "N-no pressure. No pressure at all."

Claire abruptly stood up, pulling him along to his feet. "Jesus, Jamie! You're not making any sense. Look at me."

He looked at her, as a gust of summer wind blew a strand of hair across her mouth. Mo Nighean Donn, so beautiful. He tucked the wayward tendril behind her ear, and then he kissed her, taking the meeting of their mouths deep until she gasped into his lips. "There's something I need to tell ye ..." He ran his fingers along the curve of her shoulder, pressing a thumb to the side of her neck and massaging. Not the time, lad! Start small even if it feels like you're about to burst wide open.

"You're saying?" she whispered.

Jamie's phone rang before he could say anything, making him utter a vicious profanity under his breath. He looked at the screen, but the number wasn't from his contact list. "I need to take this ...it could be the director from the network," he apologised, squeezing her hand. "Please don't go."

When Claire nodded, he answered the phone, walking a few feet away from her.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jamie! Long time no chat!" a familiar voice answered.

"Who's this?"

"I heard you were sulking because you didn't want to take me as your date this Friday," a voice purred in his ears. "What's wrong? Don't you want to catch up for old time's sake?

"Geneva!" Realising the error he just made, he lowered his voice and hoped Claire didn't hear. He didn't dare turn, afraid of what he might see on her face. "How'd ye get this number?" he seethed. Forbes!!

"Oh! Daddy dearest gave it to me."

Jamie was confused. "What? How?"

"Oops! You didn't know?" she chirped. "Daddy is one of the directors of the UKSC network."

His stomach hollowed and felt the colour drain from his face. Claire would definitely diagnose him with low blood pressure now. He almost laughed at the irony of his situation, tamping down the mounting anger, more for Claire's sake than Geneva's. "Weel, I supposed I shall see ye and yer daddy dearest on Friday."

"Can't wait!"

"I'll be bringing my girlfriend with me."

Geneva cackled. "Girlfriend? Who is the flavour of the month? Or should I say, the flavour of the week?"

He had enough. Damn bitch.

Unable to put up with her taunts any longer, he switched off his phone and blocked the number. Bloody nuisance! The network talk was beginning to feel like a thorn to his side that wouldn't shift, but he pushed that worry aside to attend to more pressing matters at hand. Claire!

But when he turned around to look at the spot where he left her, she was already gone. Fuck!

"Sassenach?" He shouted, jogging toward the house, praying she had only disappeared to use the bathroom. But deep down he knew, she'd taken the opportunity to get as far away from him as possible.

#melodyheart #startingover #Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser #outlanderfanfic

0 notes