#just the same four albums on loop

[oneforthemunny]

i'm not entirely sure what prompted this. to be utterly honest, the holidays are rough sometimes, and i've been kind of struggling so here's this bc this is how i cope now :)

tw: mentions of loss, grief, depression.

“...at the tone, please record your message.” 

Beep.

“Uh, hey. It’s-It’s Eddie. I, uh, I was just calling to, uh- I was just wanting to check on ya. I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days, sweetheart, and I know you’ve been busy. I just… Yeah, gimme a call back when you can, alright? I still got those VHS’s. Rentals not due for a couple of days. I’d-I’d really like to see you. Just… call me back when you get this. Even if it’s late. Love you.” 

The lights on your tree started to blur, water-stained with blinding, swirling tears of guilt. Settled on your couch, in the same crumpled position that you fell into as soon as you got off work, waves of exhaustion consuming you, but sleep never came easily. 

The most wonderful time of the year was a stretch, a mockery of a term that felt poisoned and back handed. With every happy, glowy commercial, all smiling families and sing-songy laugh; it made you feel sick at the falseness of it all. 

It had been four days since you last spoke to Eddie, nearing two weeks since you saw him in person. Not out of spite, or a fight like it had been in the past. This time, it was you- all you. 

The message on the receiver played on a loop, you jammed your finger on the button, letting it sound off its automated message before his voice filled the silent space in the room. You missed the sound of his voice, the warmth behind it so comforting in this frigid winter. It might be better to call him, actually hear him and talk to him, but every time you reached for the phone, you couldn’t dial his number. That would mean you’d have to talk, have to say something, tell him why you’d been so MIA, and that required a strength you didn’t have yet. 

Somewhere between the late night talk show coming on, but not before your neighbor’s lights turned off, there was a knock at your door. You figured it was your neighbor across from you, Mrs. Jennings, always bringing you baked treats in festive sweaters, leaving with a hearty “Merry Christmas!” that always had you crumbling inside. 

“Baby?” Your body stilled, breath caught in your lungs at the sound, like he might be able to see you through the door. 

“Hey, I-I know you’re in there.” Eddie’s voice was soft, muffled by the heavy wood of your door. “Not to sound like a total fuckin’ stalker or anything. I just… I wanna make sure you’re ok?” 

Your mind screamed at you to move, to go answer the door, to reply, to do anything. 

The lock jiggled, a squeak and a creak before the door was opening softly- hesitantly, like he was scared of what he might find on the other side. “Babe?” Eddie’s eyes scanned the small kitchen area, your purse slung on the table, shoes kicked off by the door into a pile. 

“You alright? I-I called you a coupla times, actually, and I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” His voice was tight, heavy soled steps on the carpet. 

You knew he saw you by the way he stopped. Halted behind the couch, hovering over a collapsed you on the couch. Tear stained sweatshirt sleeves under your head, an array of photo albums you always kept tucked in the top of the storage closet down the hall, memories sprawled out on the coffee table, creased on the edges from your shaky grasp. 

The one closest to you had his stomach dropping. He’d seen her before, the solemn looks and shaky breaths that you and your family gave when you’d pass the outdated family portrait in your home. Plastered on the wall with matching bright smiles, but looming with a haunting, sickening feeling. Eddie knew the feeling, a little too well. 

“Oh.” Eddie breathed before he could help himself. 

You wanted to sob, felt the burn of it in your throat, curling into yourself. 

“No, no, no, I-I didn’t-” Eddie’s eyes darted frantically, reaching out towards you, but never touching you. He knew what this felt like, knew the embarrassment and vulnerability, the shame and dread. 

He knew what it felt like. 

Silently, he sank next to you on the couch, careful of the delicate photos, placing them out of the way with a gentleness that had you sniffling, swallowing down a whimpering cry. A hand on your back, pulling your body into his, letting the weight of you settle onto his chest. 

Your face moved into the soft cotton of his tee. He’d smoked on the way over here, though it was comforting. Nose rubbing against his chest, clinging to the fabric next to you in a fisted clutch. Eddie’s arms around your frame, holding you firmly yet so softly at the same time. 

Your neighbor’s lights were off by the time you finally spoke. 

“I was in line at Melvald’s getting wrapping paper,” You croaked, voice raspy with emotions, cheek still pressed to Eddie’s chest. You could hear his heartbeat. “And they started playing this song. The Christmas one by The Partridge Family?” 

Eddie nodded slowly, hand still gliding soothingly up and down your spine. He could feel your shaky breath through his fingertips. “She, uh,” You swallowed around the words. “She used to love that song. Would always sing it when we’d put the trimmings on the tree. My mom would have that hanging tinsel you know?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And,” Your tone fell at the thought, at the mention of her again. “She’d always play this song on a loop. Would throw it around, all over the branches just to piss my mom off.” Your lips curled at the memory. You always laughed when she did that. Now you couldn’t because you knew she’d never do it again. 

There was a moment, a beat of silence in the still room. “Anyways, I…I was going to get wrapping paper because I’m so fucking behind on wrapping and-and buying, because I’ve been working-” 

“-You’ve been working a lot.” Eddie’s eyes cut down to you, carefully. 

You sighed, a shudder of a breath in. “Yeah. I know.” It was soft, an apology. You didn’t need to, but Eddie was glad to hear it. Selfishly, he was relieved that his fears that this was somehow his fault, that he’d done something to upset you, weren’t true. 

“I just… I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to be busy? I felt like if I stayed busy, I wouldn’t really get to think about it. Get this holiday over with and then I wouldn’t feel so…” You didn’t really know what to say, how to describe the feeling. 

“No, I… I get it.” Eddie nodded slowly, staring off in the colorful strands of lights glimmering from the tree in the far corner of the room. “My mom used to wear that, uh, that Pond's stuff to bed. The face stuff with the green lid?” You nodded slowly, cheek still smushed against his chest. 

“And right after she passed, I-I was in middle school, right? Seventh grade. And we had a sub and… fuck, she smelled just like that cream.” Eddie shook his head softly at the memory. “She just walked past me to make sure we were reading, and I smelled it and… I just ran out of the classroom because I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. But, like, running out wasn’t much better.” 

You snorted softly, light enough to have Eddie’s gaze peering back down to you, heart skipping in his chest. “Yeah, I would say that might make it worse.” 

“Wasn’t very smooth.” Eddie nodded. “Just running out of the classroom seemed better than crying.” 

You paused for a moment, lips puckered in a pout. “It’s weird.” You muttered, still looking ahead. “How you’re just out and the smallest things just… send you over the edge.” 

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed. “Grief’s a weird thing.” 

“Really weird.” You mumbled. 

Eddie ducked his chin down, let his nose press into your scalp, breathing in your scent, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I’m here for you, you know?” He muttered, the vibrations from his words tickling your scalp. “For when it gets weird. You don’t… this sounds really fuckin’ cheesy and I’m sorry, but you don’t have to do it by yourself. Don’t have to be alone.” 

You weren’t sure what to say. Not sure you could even speak if you did know what to say, the growing lump in your throat strangling you. Instead, you clung tighter to his shirt, pressed yourself further into the warm, inviting hold that felt familiar and calming. 

Eddie would go and get the wrapping paper for you tomorrow, even help you wrap a few gifts. He’d help you carefully put up the photos with a gentleness that would have your heart fluttering. But for now, he held you, fingers moving down your spine, chin pressed to the top of your head, pulling you closer to him on the tiny couch.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #eddie munson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie stranger things #eddie my love <3 #eddie x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader angst #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson angst #stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie munson fic #oneforthemunny blurbs #eddie munson blurb #munny’s merriest #munny's merriest #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson christmas #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 18

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 41.3k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Well, clearly I need to stop deeming one or another chapter the longest of the series when I still haven't written the rest cos I'm actually equally horrified and surprised that this chapter is this long - especially since I had to chop down a third of it to push it towards a new chapter. Yep, that's right - you lot are getting two more chapters after this one and the epilogue lol Anyway, I cannot believe I'm posting this chapter finally!!! Pinch me moment, really, but I hope with all my heart that you love it. Also sorry but I just literally finished writing this so it's not fully proofread so I'm very sorry if there's grammatical and spelling mistakes. Okay, I'll shut up now!! Enjoy!!! xxx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 |

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Four days had passed since that stupid article had come out and Ella seemed to be working on automatic. She was trying her best to appear completely normal and unbothered while every word she’d read that day echoed inside her mind in an agonizing loop.

The giddy Ella that Ben had been teasing all day that Thursday was long gone by the end of the day. He had been completely ignored when he asked her what was wrong while everyone was saying goodbye and walking out the door to go home.

And the following four days were just the same: a blank expression on her face that only was exchanged from time to time for a forced smile she pulled whenever someone asked her if she was alright.

Ben had tried to joke with her on Friday, teasing her about being so down bad for Alex that she was missing him too much to function. But it had gone poorly. Ella had frozen in her place and stood up abruptly after a few beats of silence, grabbing her pack of cigarettes and lighter to take with her outside and her voice broke as she mumbled that she needed to go for a smoke. That was when Ben started to actually worry.

Even her coworkers had realized it was something far deeper than they’d been thinking when Monday had come around and she looked the same as the end of Thursday and Friday. At first, they thought she was just shutting down after coming back from her hometown, but she never let it drag on this much when that would happen. Usually she’d speak to her family on the phone on the weekend and that’d be enough for her to be cured of the homesickness, but this time it was apparent that it just wasn’t the case.

They tried to cheer her up during lunch break, tempting her with an offer to take her to her favorite Los Feliz restaurant, but she shook her head to decline their advances. With an absent look on her face, she told them she’d brought her own food that day. No witty remark to hold them up to that offer in the future, just falling silently into eating—more like moving around—the lunch she’d packed herself the night before.

Even if she was behaving that way, she was fully invested in her work and whilst everyone appreciated the fact that work wasn’t being halted, it just wasn’t something anyone in the office enjoyed seeing.

So Ben and Aaron begged her to go home earlier that day, knowing she’d be willing to stay way past usual hours just to drown in the work that had accumulated slightly while she was in Tennessee. She had already caught up with a lot on Thursday and Friday, and the last thing anyone wanted was for her to burnout due to her seeking an escape from whatever was going on by working non-stop.

Ella’s eyes were red from how long she’d been staring at her computer, editing pictures without a break once she came back into her office after finishing lunch—which had been a mere few bites of her pasta before threw it away. She still had two weeks to give back the finished product but she was determined to just do everything and anything she could to distract herself from her thoughts.

Staying at the office later than usual on Thursday and Friday had helped, and the weekend she’d spent alone at home had been beyond miserable, she needed the distraction that work gave her that Monday, and every day that would follow until her mind would stop racing and she could try to get over everything—force herself to forget about everything that had happened in Tennessee and forget about the hope that had bloomed inside her from it all, the one that made her heart break in a thousand more pieces the more time passed.

It was all a blur how Ben and Aaron managed to get her out of the office by six in the afternoon and when she got back home by seven, she was thankful for loud music and the lighter than usual LA traffic.

She’d spent the weekend deep cleaning every corner of her house, trying to be meticulous in every aspect so that her focus was completely on her tasks, so many movies had been playing in the background those two days. Crying over fictional people’s lives seemed to be just what she needed to fool herself about what she really wanted to cry over. When she had gone into her room to clean it though, it had gotten tough and Sunday had unfortunately ended with her sobbing as she clutched onto that Clockwork Orange shirt she’d never given him back.

So when Ella stepped foot into her spotless house, she started to panic over what she was meant to do so as to not drive herself insane for the rest of the day.

Breana solved that for her by calling her. She was currently on the way to Indianapolis with the lads and she’d been trying hard not to stress herself about Ella’s lack of answer to her texts throughout the entire day.

Unlike Alex, Breana hadn’t gotten the version of Ella who was acting like nothing had happened; she’d gotten a sad and absent Ella on the phone every time she called, and the texts would always come late and short. The model was actually surprised about how well Ella was playing it off to Alex, chipper on the phone to him and smiling hard, making sure to reply on time and joking with him through texts.

She was trying to fool everyone else into thinking everything was alright, and the only one who actually saw how broken and despaired she was, was Breana.

“Hey babe, I thought you were gonna text me during your lunch break.” Bre said softly when Ella picked up the facetime call.

Ella could see that she was hidden away in the back lounge of the bus so she felt relieved that she could let herself break down freely in front of her best friend.

“Sorry, completely forgot. Everyone was trying to ask me what was wrong and to cheer me up and I was focused on not crying in front of everyone.” All the tears she’d been holding back started to silently run down her cheeks, it made her feel so pathetic but she needed to cry after trying so hard not to all day.

Bre’s face fell at the sight and she wanted to be there with her and hold her all night, console her and tell her it’d be alright. After all, Alex still hadn’t mentioned seeing Alexa in New York so it felt like Ella was worrying about a phantom menace.

“It’s okay. Let it out, hun.” The model sighed when she watched Ella drop her head and start quietly sobbing, her shoulders shaking as she wept. “Why don’t you– Have you thought about asking him?” Bre asked wholeheartedly, thinking that Ella subtly asking him about it would lead to him honestly giving her the answers she needed.

But Ella was long gone in psyching herself into the worst situations, so there was no way in hell that she’d risk her own heart all over again by asking him about it. There was no way she could ask without exposing herself and she had no idea if she could ever come back from getting her heart broken by Alex again.

It was way different this time, nothing like what had happened in 2012 but exactly because of that is that Ella was terrified to risk losing him now that he meant so much more to her.

Just thinking about how much she loved him was enough for her to cry a little harder as she shook her head before lifting it up to look at Breana through the screen. “I have thought about it but I won’t do it. I can’t just ask him without making it obvious that I’m in love with him and then what? If he’s actually considering it with Alexa like everyone is raving about online then, what? I do my best to ignore the heartbreak so I don’t ruin the friendship?”

“Ella, he’s not said a thing about Alexa and we’ve all talked about New York multiple times these past few days.” Breana explained with a sigh, hoping her words would help settle Ella even if it was just slightly.

“Yeah, well. Maybe he’s hiding it. Maybe something happened and he hasn’t said anything ‘cause everything in Tennessee is too fresh and you’d all shit on him for it.” Ella was reeling by then and she knew it but everything that was being said online about the pair getting back together was making her come up with every and any theory that would back it up.

She was trying to get ahead of the big reveal and make herself numb to the future heartbreak, getting herself ready for the worst possible outcome. She was still trying to come to terms about the fact that this most likely meant losing him for good. There was no way she’d be strong enough to endure seeing them together while she was stuck longing for what could never be.

“You need to stop reading the bullshit people say.” Breana raised her brows at her with a stern look on her face, knowing Ella had gone on Twitter again and read what people were saying like she had on Sunday after finding Alex’s shirt in her wardrobe. “If you don’t ask him, I will. So you’ve got until the weekend to do it.” The model gave her the ultimatum and it was enough for Ella to scoff loudly and frown.

“You can’t do that.” Ella said breathlessly, the hurt clear in her voice.

Bre shrugged, “You’re driving yourself mad, Ellie. I can’t keep seeing you like this because of something that’s clearly not happening.” Her words didn’t matter because Ella was still looking at her like she’d just stabbed her in the back, “What happened with everything your parents said? Don’t you remember huh? They were right, in every single thing they said. And your mom is right too, you should tell him even if it’s through the phone.”

Ella shook her head, “Not happening anymore. Sorry Bre.”

Breana gave her a sad smile, “It’s not me you should be saying sorry to, Ella. The only one you’re hurting right now is yourself.”

Those words hit Ella like a punch in the gut, her breath hitched in her throat as she tried not to sob loudly and she let her gaze drop to her hands. She couldn’t handle much more anymore today so she shook her head and hastily let Breanna go, “I’m gonna make myself something to eat, shower and go to bed. I’ll text you in the morning.”

Breana’s sigh was full of anguish for her best friend but she knew it’d be worse to push, she’d only drive Ella into a worse state and she needed to relax. “Okay babe. Don’t forget to text me yeah? I’ll be waiting for your messages.”

Ella only hummed with a curt nod, her gaze wandering around her desolate kitchen for a second before facing Bre again and saying goodbye, “I promise I’ll text. Love you.”

“Love you.” Breana reciprocated and ended the call herself.

When she came out of the back lounge to where everyone was hanging out, they all picked on the sadness that had overcome her expression.

“Y’alright?” Jamie asked Bre as she sat down next to Matt, making the drummer turn to look at her fiance and when he caught the look on her face, he hugged her tightly and dropped a kiss on her cheek.

“Yeah, yeah. Just tired.” The model excused and the guitarist nodded. Everyone caught her up on their conversation then, slowly managing to get little giggles and soft smiles from her as the time went and they got closer to the state of Indiana.

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The following day, Ella woke up to the ringing of her phone. An incoming facetime call from none other than Alex. A call that made her frown and startle awake since it was half past six in the morning and all she could think about was that the early call meant an emergency.

But Alex’s chipper, “Hiya, darling.” proved nothing close to an emergency had happened.

“Hi, sweetness.” Ella replied breathlessly. Seeing him ready for the day with his hair yet to be gelled back with a bright smile on his face that not even the cigarette that he was smoking could hide, made her want to scream. “You’re very smiley today.” She teased him the best she could, trying to ignore the ache in her heart that got more prominent when the memory of the article and the stupid online chat weaved through into the forefront of her mind.

He hummed like he was aware. After all, his cheeks hurt from how hard he’d been smiling for the past hour. “I’ve got good news.”

“Oh?” Was all that Ella managed to say, her signal to get him to start talking.

But all Alex did was smirk and hum, “Mhm.”

She knew what he was doing, so she rolled her eyes as she let herself fall back onto bed and rest her head on the pillows, “You’re gonna make me ask, really?”

“I am.” Alex cheekily replied, his smirk only getting bigger at the prospect of having her guess what it was.

From the way he was smiling, Ella had a feeling it had to be about his imminent move to Los Angeles, so she grinned back shyly and softly asked as excitement started brewing in her chest, “Is it about the house?”

“Yes.” He answered with joy, but still steered her into guessing.

So she continued with her guesses, “Have you got it?”

He nodded eagerly before explaining further, “Signed an hour ago and my agent got the keys so yes, it’s all mine now.”

“Fuck off!” Ella gasped and sat back up on her bed, “So you’re moving here for the holidays?” Tour was meant to finish mid November in South America so that’d mean that he was gonna be moving to LA just in time for the holidays and that made her incredibly nervous to think about.

But Alex shook his head and clarified, “Moving in this weekend actually.”

The notion had Ella breathless and wide-eyed. “What?!” Ella stuttered when she managed to stop holding her breath in shock. He was moving in that very weekend and all she’d done the past week since she’d last seen him was sob over some stupid paparazzi pictures of him and his ex.

“Yeah, well, our last festival this month is tomorrow so I’d be flying over to LA on the 26th and moving in until we have to go back on tour on the 2nd.” Alex explained easily. He’d bought his ticket back to LA with the rest of the group only a few minutes before and the first person he had to tell was Ella.

“Wait, so you’re coming back in two days?” Ella was truly shocked at this all, she kept blinking as if wanting to properly wake herself up because it all just didn’t feel real.

Alex flashed her a toothy smile, “We all are. Bought our tickets about ten minutes ago.” Seeing her getting even more surprised by that information made him want to coo out loud, she was so cute. He wanted to kiss her face over and over and over again.

“Holy shit.” Ella muttered under her breath, getting up from bed and walking towards her dresser to actually start getting ready to go to work.

The singer chuckled at her but attentively watched her every move on the screen as he continued, “And I’m gonna have everyone over on Saturday for a housewarming party.”

Ella nodded, her throat becoming dry at the thought of only having four days to mentally prepare to see him in person again after the torment she’d kept to herself. She had no idea how she’d be able to hide it from him in person, it was already hard to hide it from him through texts and facetime. But in person? She could only hack acting okay for an hour maybe, there was no way she could play it off for a whole afternoon.

“Right. Let me know if you want me to take anything. Is it gonna be like Matt and Bre’s?” She asked just to be prepared for who she’d have to hide from. If it was just the lads and the girls then it’d be tricky but at least she’d have Breana to lean onto and she’d feel more comfortable.

Her heart stopped when Alex shook his head and said, “A bit bigger. Steve and Davey are flying in with us so Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, is gonna be there too. Miles is gonna come as well and some other friends we have in the city.” He took a pause to think about the list he’d written down inside his mind and he added, “Oh, Josh is coming too and I think Alexa is coming over too.”

At the mention of that name, Ella felt herself go cold and pale. She was so glad she’d decided to move off camera as she went to grab a pair of jeans just as he said that.

“Darling?” Alex asked with a frown when he didn’t hear a thing coming from her.

Ella took a few deep breaths as she tried not to burst out crying, the wound she’d been opening up more and more with her overthinking for the past week felt like it had started bleeding all over again and she was trying her best not to cry in pain.

Clearing her throat, she rose back up and appeared on the screen. She kept her head hanging low so he wouldn’t see her failed attempt of a smile, she lifted her jeans up and chuckled dryly before excusing herself with, “Sorry, was getting my clothes for work.”

His eyes went wide when he realized he had once again forgotten about time zones and the fact that it was a Tuesday morning. “Shit, darling. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you and make you late for work.”

She finally looked up and waved him off, “You actually helped ‘cause I’m pretty sure I snoozed my alarm.” Moving out of frame, Ella started changing and she was so glad she could use the excuse of getting changed for him not to complain about her not showing her face like he always did when she tried to hide from him. “Miles and Josh are coming?” She asked first, feeling like him mentioning Alexa first was the best opening she’d get to ask about it without having to risk her heart.

“Yeah, you know Miles wouldn’t miss this one after not being able to come to Matt’s. And Josh has been trying to convince me to move over here since we met him back in the Humbug days.”

Ella chuckled as she pulled the jeans up her legs and buttoned them up, “That’s a long while he took to convince you.”

Alex hummed, “Well, he wasn’t the one to convince me in the end.” He hoped she’d get what he was trying to say, his smirk was a clear sign that he meant she was the sole reason he decided to finally do it.

But Ella wasn’t looking at her phone, she was staring at herself in the mirror and giving herself a quick mental pep talk as she geared up to ask, “You said Alexa is coming too? Alexa Chung?”

“Ah yes.” Alex nodded, “Bumped into her in New York the other day and we were chatting for a bit. I told her I was moving here soon and she said she was due a visit to LA so I should let her know if I was doing anything once I got the house.” He hoped he was playing it cool because in all honesty, most of the talk he’d had with Alexa was about how he was trying to get the house as soon as possible to finally be able to get things moving in the right direction with Ella.

“Oh, right. Right.” Ella said casually, like she wasn’t trying to figure out if Alexa had said that as a friend or if she’d been flirting.

“She’s excited to meet you, you know?” Alex continued, unaware of how Ella was struggling to take in the new information, “She’s seen your pictures and she loved them. Think she said something about wanting you to take her pictures, she loved the ones you took at Katie’s last year. Said you were brilliant.”

Deep breathe in and out. Ella tried not to think about how it’d be to not only meet her in four days but make peace with the fact that anything she would’ve hoped to have with Alex would also be gone in four days.

“I’m sure we can arrange something on Saturday.” Ella hoped she sounded like she was smiling, but the mirror reflected a wince instead of a grin and she wanted to scream at herself for being so pathetic.

She walked back into frame, watching Alex take one last drag of his cigarette and toss it to the ground. A pang of hurt flooded her system and she smiled sadly knowing that she’d soon lose all of this, purely because of her inability to just speak and make herself vulnerable to take a chance on it.

“Sweets, I unfortunately gotta go now but I’m so fucking happy for you and I really can’t wait to see you this weekend.” Despite the hurt, the love she felt for him shined through and it showed on her face. On her eyes shining as she watched him smile at her, on the sweet grin she offered him.

“Me too darling. I’ve missed you way too much.” Alex admitted with a loopy smile. He almost could already feel her arms around him as he clutched onto her when he’d see her next. Just a few more days and he could have her by his side again. And hopefully his plan would work out and he would be able to kiss her again, and again, and again. “Love you. I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you.” Ella replied, a hint of sadness behind the words, like she was mourning the loss of its actual meaning already. The loss of the opportunity to let him know how he’d driven her mad, and how she’d been so close to just risking everything in hopes he felt the same way. “See you soon.”

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Ella had been incredibly thankful that she’d gotten ahead of herself with her workload those three days she was back at the office because on Tuesday, after Alex’s call, she’d barely been able to concentrate enough to finish what she’d left halfway done on Monday.

She’d been frantically texting Breana all day, not knowing what to do with the fact that Alexa was meant to show up on Saturday along with everyone else. How could she even keep her emotions at bay when she was gonna be there too? It was impossible, and if it was any other case, she’d avoid the event altogether but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t because not only would Alex get suspicious and she’d feel like she would be letting him down, she wanted to know straight away if anything between the singer and the model were to happen.

Breana had let Ella talk all about it when she called her as soon as she got back home from work. The model had only a bit of time to talk to her best friend before she had to leave to see the band take on the stage of Summerfest to end the opening night of the festival with a ninety minute long set.

But before she could go, Bre left Ella with a few questions that she’d be pondering an answer to for the next twenty four hours.

“What if nothing happens between them on Saturday?” The model started saying after Ella had gone on a rant about what she’d have to do once Alex took Alexa back the day of the housewarming party. “What are you gonna do if there’s nothing going on there? Are you gonna waste another opportunity?”

“I doubt nothing will happen, Bre.” Ella sighed, rubbing her face in exhaustion. She needed her brain to stop for a bit so she could rest from the worries that filled her insides with dread.

Bre scoffed, “He said he bumped into her and they chatted about him moving to Los Angeles. How’s that a sign of them getting back together?”

“I don’t know, okay?!” Ella said loudly, wincing when Breana’s face fell at the volume and hostility of her response. “M’sorry. God, I’m so annoying. I’m sorry, I’ll stop bothering you with the same thing. I promise I’ll stop.”

“I just want you to stop with the bullshit.” Breana said frankly, “Stop with the stupid theories and the lack of security on where you stand with him. Alex doesn’t ever stop talking about you, he always has you in mind when even the smallest things happen. He smiles like a fucking fool whenever you text him and I know he’s texting you because I ask him every time and it’s always you. This is their fourth festival since Bonnaroo and I bet he’s going to say it doesn’t compare to Tennessee like he’s said with the other three before.”

Ella just stood there silent as she took in every word Breana said, the model took her silence as a sign to continue, “And why are you even waiting until Saturday for?! We all land tomorrow night and he’s going to his new house straight away so he’ll most likely be getting everything ready on Friday. You’ve got all of Friday to go see him and try your luck. You just gotta do it, Ellie.” In Breana’s mind, this was Ella’s chance and it would be such a shame to miss it, “Just go and tell him on Friday, spare you the hurt and the stress of waiting until Saturday for something—which isn’t fucking happening, by the way—to happen.”

There hadn’t been a chance for Ella to reply since Kelly and Katie came by the trailer to get Breana out and take her to the balcony since the guys were about ten minutes away from taking over the stage. Ella had to put on a smile and say a quick hello and goodbye to the girls she also missed tons, and then pretend like the call ending didn’t mean she was gonna go crazy with her own thoughts for the rest of the night.

Ella had fallen asleep thinking about every word Breana had said and she woke up to the same internal debate she’d been having all night. Would it be better if she just got it out of the way? If she’d just told him and have him let her down easy if he didn’t reciprocate. Have the chance to avoid seeing everyone on Saturday if it meant what she was dreading was actually happening, to start distancing herself before the damage was irreparable, to give herself a head start on the pain it’d bring her to lose everything that came with Alex.

There was a point during Thursday where everything changed from being unsure of telling him to knowing it was the right thing to do and it might’ve been the fact that he texted her, right as she was packing everything up to leave the office and head back home, to let her know that he was boarding his flight and it’d only be a matter of hours before they were in the same city.

She figured it was her lack of patience and the overwhelming need for answers that flipped the switch inside her. There was no chance she’d let this opportunity pass and she’d just have to deal with the consequences when the time came. She just needed to stop being afraid and face whatever would come with the strength she knew she could find inside herself.

For fucks sake, she’d been cheated on twice in her life already and she’d come out of the other end alive and well. And she’d survived it. What would another heartbreak do to her? Probably break her, realistically, but there was no way of knowing if she didn’t do what she needed to do.

Her appetite was gone by the time she finished cooking herself dinner but she’d tried eating as she watched a movie and it had worked to eat most of her plate. But she was fully spent by ten in the evening so she quickly washed the dishes and got herself ready for bed.

It wasn’t until she went to grab her phone from her coffee table that she realized Alex had texted her about half an hour before, her heart hammered inside her chest as she read what he’d sent.

(26/06/2014 21:43) Just landed and we’re waiting for our bags! Seeing the new house very soon. Do you want pictures or would you like a proper tour when you come? Cannot wait to see you darling xxxx

His words made her giggle like a fool, she bit her bottom lip as she went over his message again and walking back to her room, she threw herself on her bed and typed a response.

(26/06/2014 22:18) Think I’ll endure a few more days of intrigue and take you up on an actual house tour on Saturday. I missed you sweetness, can’t wait to hug you!! xxx

Ella couldn’t believe he was back in Los Angeles again, and she fell asleep with a grin on her face and her phone in hand as she waited for him to reply. A reply that she wouldn’t see until she woke up the next morning.

(26/06/2014 23:36) I’ll have you come earlier on Saturday then, give you proper time to take it all in. It’s cosy here, I think you’d really like it. You’ve no idea how much I just wanna have you here already and give you a cuddle. Love you darling xxxxx

As she got ready for work, she kept reading and rereading the message. Breana’s words echoing inside her mind as her gaze went over the text again and again.

It was Friday and this was it. It was the one day she could just get it over and done with, and it hurt thinking of treating the love she felt for him like a burden that she had to try and strip off herself as soon as she could, but it was for her own good. To know where she stood, to deal with what he was gonna choose to do.

But knowing what she’d decided to do and having to endure a full work day with it in mind had her going crazy. Every time Lydia would come in to check things with her, she was half distracted and had to ask the PA to repeat herself. She felt awful for it but she couldn’t help it, and she’d apologized for it multiple times.

By the time she came back from her lunch break and she’d been trying to properly answer emails for an hour, Ella called it a day and left. Ben and Aaron got a hasty apology for her early leave that they waved off, and they watched her all but run out of the office with confused looks on their faces.

Ella was just driving. She had no idea where she was going because after twenty minutes on the road, she knew it wasn’t the way back to her house, but she kept driving until she realized she’d taken the 101 freeway up to Hollywood Hills.

She made a quick detour when she knew she’d been driving the way to Matt and Bre’s, knowing Alex’s new house was a few minutes away from there. It would be bad if she went there empty handed, and she really needed an excuse to ease into whatever the conversation would turn out to be.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! She cursed over and over in her mind as she got off the freeway onto Hollywood Boulevard and went to the first grocery store she could find.

Two bottles of Pinot Noir later, Ella rushed back into her car and pulled up Alex’s new address—luckily he’d sent it to her with days in anticipation for her to know how much time it’d take her to get there on Saturday.

Merely fifteen minutes it took her to finally pull up into Alex’s driveway and when she put her car in park, her hands started shaking. She really had to clutch tightly onto the necks of the wine bottles not to drop them, one on each hand with her bag forgotten somewhere inside her car. In the haste to walk up to his front door she’d just grabbed her car keys and the wine bottles.

After having come all the way there, Ella rushed herself to ring the doorbell. There was no fucking way she was going to psych herself out of it when she was already there. Though going back inside her car and dashing back home to drink the wine alone as she cried over how much of a pussy she was being deep inside sounded very tempting.

But there was no chance for her to decide on taking that route for the front door opened and a sweaty and surprised Alex greeted her with the biggest of smiles.

Despite the house coming furnished for him to move in straight away, Alex had spent the entire day making it feel like home. Taking it upon himself to do some cleaning around and putting some clothes away that he knew he’d have to pack up again to leave back on tour, but he’d wanted to feel settled already.

As he’d been filling the drawers of his dresser with trousers and jeans, he remembered there were many things he needed to go through with his plan of the perfect way to finally tell Ella everything, and so he’d left his suitcase half unpacked and gone to the grocery store to buy everything he’d need to cook her a lovely dinner.

He knew he was going to try cooking her favorite pasta, making it a candlelit dinner and just giving it the old romantic fool to pour his heart and soul out for her. Like she deserved to get after all this time. There was no way he was leaving her again without properly trying to push their relationship in the direction he’d been longing for so long.

And Alex was planning on doing it all tonight, to give her a call and ask her to please join him that night, he was thinking he would probably tell her to come over a day early to give her that tour he’d promised. If he wanted this to work out, it couldn’t be hours before everyone else was due to come over.

But it seemed like she had beat him to it, bringing wine with her as well.

“Ella!” His eyes were wide and so was his toothy grin. Seeing her in front of him again flooded his system with relief, a feeling that escaped him when he saw the color drain from her face and the clear anxiety on her face. “Hi, darling. I wasn’t expecting you here today. Y’alright?”

Damn him and his ability to read her so easily. She stumbled through her thoughts, shaking her head and taking half a step backwards as she said, “Sorry, I-” What was she meant to say? How would she even begin the conversation?

Her gaze fell down to the wine bottles and she remembered why she’d gotten them in the first place, “Ermmmm, are you busy? I brought a gift…” She looked up at him and gave him a smile, moving the bottles up and showing them to him.

The joy she felt when seeing him in person just a few feet away from her was genuine, and she thought that was why he hadn’t questioned it. Alex gave her a tooth rotting sweet smile as he cooed, “Ah you’re so sweet.” and waved her inside, opening the front door wider and inviting her inside the new place, “Come in.”

Ella’s stomach flipped at the thought of what was about to happen and suddenly the excuse of bringing the wine as a gift felt like a mistake. “Actually, I–” She wanted to be sick. All the words she had been thinking about saying for the past twenty four hours rose up her throat and she was trying to hold back the impending word vomit.

“Fuck.” She cursed under her breath as she only took a few steps inside the house. There wasn’t even a moment for her to take in the beauty of the place since the second she heard the door closing behind her, she turned to Alex and gave him an awkward smile to let him know, “Erm, I wasn’t planning on staying long.”

His brows shot up and he smirked, amused at the sudden change in behavior. He still found her so fucking endearing, she was like a little mouse trapped in a corner by a predator. “You just drove over an hour to bring me a bottle of wine and leave me to drink it alone?” He knew the traffic must’ve been awful on the way here, and he wasn’t letting her go without getting an explanation for the way she was acting.

A few beats of silence passed before she answered, “Yes?” the inflection of her voice going up so her affirmation sounded like a question.

If she wasn’t gonna say it without being explicitly asked, then fine, he would ask. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She hastily replied, way too fast to appear normal. She winced, holding her breath for a few seconds before reiterating, shaking her head and chuckling dryly at herself, “Nothing! Sorry, this is stupid.”

“Ella.” Alex said a bit more sternly then, “What’s going on?”

Her eyes met his and she watched the determination he had to get an answer. She couldn’t turn back anymore, there was no chance she could lie her way out of this one, to give him some white lie that he’d believe was the reason for her awkwardness.

It was right then, it just had to be done. Taking a deep breath, she started, “Okay, erm… I gotta tell you something.” Alex frowned and opened his mouth to speak but she got ahead of him and pleaded with him, “But please let me finish before you say anything, okay?” She would burst out crying and lose her ability to speak if he was to cut in the middle of the flood of words that she knew was coming soon.

But the singer was starting to worry and his amused smirk was long gone, exchanged for a deep frown and distress clear in those brown eyes of his, “What’s happened?”

“Alex.” Ella said in a sigh, begging silently for him to do what she was asking for. Before she could make a run for the door and escape, leaving it all a mess behind her.

Alex pressed his lips together and nodded, “Sorry, go on.”

“No, don’t apologize.” She was the one to frown this time, her chest felt so tight and it was getting uncomfortable. “Okay, fuck.” Every word she’d rehearsed was slipping away from her mind, and in its place a knot of thoughts stayed. Knot that if she didn’t manage to untangle in the next minute, she’d start crying out of frustration at herself. “Wait.”

Alex nodded, willing to wait as she gathered herself to start saying whatever it was that was bothering her. He had no idea what it was but he was already thinking of ways to help her. There were only so many solutions he could come up with when he didn’t know the situation, “Is everything okay? What can I do? Do you need my help with anything?”

“No. I–” She started, but before she could continue trying to ask for some more time to think about it, Alex spoke again.

“Then what’s wrong, darling?” It was so sickeningly sweet, the way he walked up closer to her and reached his hand out to grab hers, the way his brows furrowed even more but that look in his eyes prevailed, the one that she’d started to read like something close to devotion.

She couldn’t get a grasp on her logic anymore, and her words escaped her in a loud manner that made him freeze in his place, “I’m tired!”

Alex was beyond confused, a quiet “What?” leaving his lips in a split second.

But Ella’s eyes started filling up with tears when she continued, “I’m so exhausted from this, Alex!”

Completely forgetting what he’d promised just a few seconds before, Alex went ahead and tried to ask for an explanation, “What do you–?”

Ella interrupted him before he could finish the question, giving him the explanation he was looking for with a passion that burned her insides, “This! All of this! The cruel back and forth that leaves me confused.”

She just needed to let it all out now, and that she’d do. Not that she could control the way her mouth moved ahead of her brain, words leaving her before she could even process her own thoughts, “I don’t want you to go again because I feel like my heart’s being ripped out of my chest every time and, fuck, I’m in love with you and I was so close to telling you that after the festival but then you had to leave. And then just two days later, you’re seen with Alexa in New York and everyone is talking about how ‘the IT couple is back’ and mentioning me in some stupid article just to completely disregard me like I’m some disposable thing to you, so that they could go on and on about you and her.”

Her voice broke by the end, remembering everyone’s excited words when it came to talking about the possibility of them two getting back together. She hated it, she really hated how badly it got her so she let it out too, “And I hate it! I fucking hate it! ‘Cause I just want you to be around but you can’t and it fucking hurts. All the damn time. But I’m never brave enough to just fucking tell you.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks, hot trail from the corners of her eyes down to her neck, she ignored them as best as she could to continue with her rant, “But now you’ve moved here and it’s too real, and I was scared of letting you know how stupidly in love I am with you but I just can’t lose you to somebody else again.”

She huffed as she shook her head, like a child showing her determination on the matter, “So I have to risk it. I have to risk getting rejected, ruining our friendship, losing you entirely and I–”

A sob managed to rip through her at the thought of this being the last time she’d see him, of everything ended like this, “I don’t wanna lose you but I can’t keep it to myself any longer. And I’m sorry but I just–” The words tangled on the tip of her tongue then, the avalanche of words abruptly ending after all of that.

Alex was breathless, his chest heaving as he stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth agape and his throat dry. He could barely muster the soft, “Ella, I–” he let out.

But he didn’t say anything else, he just stared at her with his brows furrowed like he was confused and it all dawned on her.

It had been such a mistake to do it like this, she’d needed to think it through properly and not throw herself into it as if she had a way with words, as if she could make it cute and nice and enchant him with an improvised speech.

It had been a mess and it was all fucking ruined. “No. Don’t.” She shook her head, not even wanting to meet his gaze anymore. “Oh fuck, this was so stupid.” She wanted to hit her head against the wall, to smash the bottles she was still holding in her hands, “I’m so stupid.” She cried out loud before shaking her head again and sniffling, breathing deeply and trying to swallow the knot in her throat.

She managed to look up, the singer looked blurry through her tear filled eyes. She was glad she couldn’t really make up his face then so she took a step up to him and pushed the bottles towards his chest, “This is pathetic. Just take the wine.” But he didn’t even try to make the effort to receive the bottles so pressed her lips together as she silently cried even more, turning on her heels to walk up to his kitchen island and leave the wine there.

In a hurry, she started walking back towards the front door, shaking her head once again as she tried to think of how badly it had gone but it was all blurry. Yet, Alex’s silence was enough to know it had gone terribly wrong.

“I’ll see you on Sunday if you even wanna keep me on the guest list.” She mumbled, almost by the door, but he quickly walked up to her, his hand stretching out to what she thought was opening the door for her. She watched the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and she cried to herself again in frustration. How could it have gone so wrong? “Sorry. You probably were busy, doing stuff and–”

But instead of his fingers wrapping around the handle of the door, they wrapped around her wrist to turn her around, so she could see the wicked smile on his face as he asked, “Why now?”

She was fucking trying not to audibly sob and he was smirking at her? Ella narrowed her eyes as she asked, “Pardon?”

“Why now?” He repeated his question but that smirk only tugged further on the corners of his mouth and that to Ella only meant he was making fun of her. Suddenly, the heartbreak was mixing with rage and all she could do about it was run away. So she tugged away from his grasp, her arm slipping away from his hold but he was fast to catch her wrist again as he sternly said, “No, Ella.”

She thrashed again, trying to pull away from his hold, “Alex, please let me go.” Another wave of tears flooded her eyes.

But he shook his head and he sounded breathless when he replied, “No. Just give me a second.”

Ella scoffed, pulling hard enough to escape his hold again, but this time her gaze was harsher and her words sounded venomous, “Why? So you can let me down easy and send me back home? So you can exchange me for another one of your models like you’ve done before?”

Alex ignored the way her words stung, taking a big step towards her and cupping her neck with his right hand to make her look at him. Her eyes brimmed with angry tears broke his heart and the way she was staring at him with rage that was almost palpable had him pressing his fingers a bit tighter around her neck.

Her mouth opened with a gasp at the pressure and he smirked. His left hand came up to wipe away a tear that rolled down her cheek before it could fall down to rest on her waist, where he clutched her tightly and pressed her against him.

His tongue poked out in between his lips to lick them softly, and he smiled even harder when he saw her gaze fall on his mouth. He was almost drooling at the thought of tasting her mouth again, but this time it’d be so much better with everything out in the open, with his heart out for her to finally take in her hands, because it had been hers for so long she just had to hold it close to her chest.

He shook his head softly, denying the things she’d said were about to happen. He wanted to scream out of happiness, cheer and celebrate finally being able to say it out loud for her to hear, “So I can process that this isn’t just another one of my dreams and tell you that I fucking love you too.”

Without giving Ella a second to properly react to his words, Alex caught her lips between his and their mouths melted in a kiss that contrasted so much to the ones they’d shared before. Because it was raw and with a passion that they’d been trying to hide for so long finally revealed. It was needy and devoted, their fingers clutching onto each other tightly and harshly, almost sure they’d be leaving marks but nothing sounded more fulfilling.

They could finally bare themselves to the other, proudly wear the fact that they were each other’s like a medal. Loud moans slipped from their mouth as the knowledge ringed in their heads. They kissed harder, deeper, running out of breaths.

“Alex…” Ella panted as she pulled back, trying to get some oxygen back in her lungs as fast as she could, the need to have his mouth on hers too intense to even give her body what it needed to survive.

All she needed was him. Only him.

“Ella…” Alex whispered back, his forehead pressing against hers with his eyes closed, just taking in the proximity—the way they were taking each other’s breaths, the brush of their noses as they gasped for air.

“Don’t stop.” She begged, her eyes opening to see him and plead with them as well as with her words, “Please.”

His eyes fluttered open, being met with her green eyes that made him weak in the knees. “Never.” He mumbled back. She had him entirely at his mercy, he would do anything she asked and more.

Alex pounced on her lips again with desperation. He leaned in, sucking the air out of her mouth, licking away any remaining sanity. Her lungs burned. Greedy, his hands fell down her body until he grabbed her ass. He gave it a harsh squeeze, eliciting a moan out of her, before clutching the backs of her thighs and swiftly picking her up off the ground.

A squeal fell from her lips when he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips quickly. She whimpered at the feeling of his hardening cock brushing her already aching core. He walked backwards blindly, cursing under his breath as she rolled her hips into him, begging for friction. She let a delighted giggle out, kissing him harsher.

Ella’s arms wrapped around his neck, fingers running up his hair and pulling on the longer strands. She swallowed the groan that rumbled through his chest at the feeling of her nails scratching his scalp and tugging his hair. His steps got quicker then and he only stopped when he felt the edge of the settee against the back of his legs.

Sitting down carefully, he settled on the settee with Ella straddling him. His growing bulge was even more obvious then, and she let her legs spread a bit more so she’d be deliciously pressed against his hardness.

“Fuck, Ella,” was his first reaction, breathy and solemn from his lips. She nodded, finding his mouth again, already addicted.

The brush of his tented jeans on her clothed clit felt heavenly, her own denim shorts only adding to the way the friction was making her increasingly dizzy. She had to break the kiss to gasp loudly. A cheeky grin teased his mouth, only to be wiped away for a moan as she rolled her hips. His hands dug at her thighs, encouraging her, guiding her.

Ella tried to catch her breath, but it was knocked out of it at the sight of Alex. Pupils blown, lips swollen, hair disheveled. They were panting, both stuck with the dilemma of not knowing if they should elongate the moment or hurry to the point they had been waiting so long for.

It had been barely eleven days since that cowboy party, and not even once had Alex stopped thinking about it. Not when he closed his eyes and he could still feel her fingers all over his body, the way she pressed against him and taunted him with the move of her hips, the taste of her lips and her tongue and the bruises she sucked on his skin.

But now he finally had her, and his expression which had been contorted in utter pleasure softened for adoration. He brought his hand up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek right after. She leaned into his touch with a loopy smile, kissing his palm, her hips slowing down to an unhurried pace.

“You’re so beautiful.” The words came out soft, his breath hitting her parted lips as he leaned in again and they met in the middle for another kiss.

She cupped his jaw and wrapped an arm around his neck, pushing herself flush against him as she followed the pace he’d set for the dizzying kiss they were sharing. Her hips picked up speed again, making them moan into each other's mouth.

His quiet whimpers and moans were driving her mad. She just couldn’t wait to hear him properly, once and for all, coming undone for her.

Alex grabbed a handful of her ass, kneading her flesh harshly with his fingers, making her roll her hips rougher against him. Her mouth went slack at the pleasure rippling through her.

“Shit.” Ella shuddered, letting her head drop and moaning into his neck. She started a trail of sloppy open mouthed kisses there, her hands working through the buttons of his shirt until it was completely open and she had more skin to kiss.

She went back to kiss his lips first, but she rushed through it. Now that she had all that skin available, she was going to make sure to mark every inch of him so everyone knew he was hers.

She made her way down his jaw, his neck and even going behind his ear, enjoying a certain spot that had him bucking his hips up and breathlessly moaning. It wasn’t until she was sucking the skin on his collarbone that she knew she’d hit the jackpot. When she started marking up the place at the base of his neck, he let out a loud groan that made her smile.

She let go of the skin there, giving the soft red mark a peck to then look up at him, “You liked that, yeah?” Her smirk was big and proud on her face, already enjoying the way he’d become putty in her hands this easily.

“Yes. Fuck, Ella, I like everything you do to me.” Her hips rolled once more, him meeting the movement by thrusting upwards. “Especially that. God, darling, I fucking love it.” She chuckled, quicking her pace.

She peppered kisses on his collarbone again, smirk brushing his skin. “And do you love that?” She teased, trailing a hot tongue on his red skin. His chest rose and fell against her mouth.

“Yeah, but–” She nipped gently at his skin and he jumped, thrusting up into her. “Shit. But–” Ella hummed, encouraging him to go on like her wicked tongue wasn’t actively doing the contrary. Finally, Alex grew desperate, missing the feeling of her lips on his so he grabbed her by the neck, calloused fingers pressing tightly on its sides to pull her back up to meet his mouth.

Teeth clashed, as the air grew hotter around them, the kiss was messy and the smacking of their wet lips echoed inside his living room. Their hips went faster, meeting in the middle every time with a growing desperation, looking for relief until she stopped.

Ella hummed into his mouth before breaking the kiss again, “Let’s go to your room.” She needed more, so much more than just dry humping him over their clothes.

Her suggestion was met with an eager Alex, who wasted no time grabbing her by the ass and rushed through the hallway to go up to his room. Her smile was impossibly wide, he could feel it on his neck where she was hiding, leaving a few pecks as he walked up to the bedroom.

Alex didn’t even know how he had gotten to his room so quickly, barging through the door but taking his time to set her on the bed softly. And their lips met once again, it was a bruising kiss filled with urgency.

Yet, for the first time in their lives, they were in no danger of running out of time.

They’d finally said the words they’d been wanting to say and heard the ones they’d been waiting to hear. They had all the time in the world. Every minute of every day for as long as they wanted, and just from the way they were kissing, it seemed like forever was the only option.

Ella’s legs wrapped around his waist after Alex took her shoes off blindly, and she dug her feet on his ass to make his hips press against her throbbing cunt once more. He started rolling his hips then, thrusting into her and the kiss only got sloppier. She was growing breathless as he pressed his hardening cock against her clothed clit. Their moans grew louder, needier.

His hands started wandering, going from cupping her face down her neck and chest until they rested on each side of her waist. His fingers started fiddling with the edges of her shirt and they snaked beneath the fabric of it, slowly lifting it up. “This okay?” He asked, out of breath. She didn’t answer; instead, she pushed herself up enough for him to take it off her with ease.

The piece of clothing was lost somewhere on his bedroom floor, thrown away carelessly as his entire focus was on admiring her figure, exposed all for him.

Her black bra hugged her tits perfectly and when she let herself fall back down on the bed, they looked as if they were about to spill out of the bra. If Ella had anticipated her confession would’ve ended in this, she would’ve worn something much nicer—she cringed at the thought of the plain and simple black thong she was wearing—but it didn’t matter to Alex for he was jaw dropped at the sight of her.

“Fucking hell,” He mumbled before dipping his head to kiss a path over the valley of her breasts, his tongue coming out to lick her skin in a painfully slow pace. Her back arched as she moaned when he bit on the top of one of her tits. She got louder and squirmed even more when he repeated his actions on the other one.

“And this is all mine?” Alex asked breathlessly, eyes now on hers and she nodded with a loopy smile, her cheeks flushed from everything that was happening. “I’m so lucky.” He couldn’t wait to see her naked, to devote himself to giving every inch of her the attention she deserved.

His hand snaked between her back and the mattress, and there he found the clasp of the bra. With apt fingers he undid it and slowly peeled off the piece of clothing off Ella’s body. His breath hitched at the sight of her bare chest, her hardened nipples making his mouth water. “You’re killing me. You’re actually trying to kill me.” She flushed slightly, secretly pleased.

He couldn’t wait any longer to have his mouth on them. Flattening his tongue, he dipped his head to give a bold lick to one of her nipples, pointing the tip of his tongue to start flicking it. Ella squirmed beneath him, whimpering and moaning at the taunting touch. Her hand came to cradle his head, moving slowly up until she could tangle her fingers in his hair just as he latched his lips around her nipple and started sucking eagerly.

“Shit, Alex.” Ella managed in between gasps as he alternated between sucking and flicking.

He smirked at the sight of her, wanting to ruin her even more. So he let go of her nipple with a pop before he bit it.

A mewl fell from her lips at the pain his teeth inflicted on her sensitive nipple, her hips rolled in search of relief but he had her pinned down with the way his body was resting on top of her. She needed more of him, her cunt throbbed and leaked with arousal with everything he did.

“Alex!” And it came out as half a beg, half an order. Alex nodded against her, undeterred. Her need for more only got more intense when he started sucking bruises on her tits, biting and sucking and drinking in all the sweet sounds she let out as the pain of his abuse on her skin sizzled into dizzying pleasure.

“So good for me,” he promised. “Taking it all.” His tongue came to lick the blooming love bites, pecks on top of sore skin before he moved onto her other tit. Smirking proudly when she was just as responsive to his actions as she had been before. “So pretty. The best fucking girl with the best fucking tits.”

And he wouldn’t stop until she was whining in a high pitch. The sounds she made were music to his ears, only wanting to keep getting them out of her, “Alex. More. I need more.” She managed in between moans. She was clenching around nothing and it frustrated her, she loved what he was doing to her but she had a half mind to take over everything and let herself have her way with him just like she wanted already.

“Say please,” he singsung.

Desperate, “Please.”

“Soon,” Alex breathed, continuing his tantalizing trail of kisses and half hearted bites down her chest and stomach, smirking as he watched her through his lashes. Ella huffed and pushed him off her. He fell onto his back and she wasted no time to straddle him.

His shirt was still messily on him, barely hanging on his shoulders and becoming a burden more than anything. She grabbed onto his collar to pull him up until he sat on the mattress. Once his chest was pressed flush against hers, Ella pushed the shirt off him and tossed it behind her onto the floor.

Alex watched the way her eyes darkened with lust and mischief, a wicked smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth as her fingers moved slowly up his chest, brushing his shoulders and neck until she cupped his jaw with both her hands and pressed her lips on his. “My turn,” she said gleefully, kissing him again. Alex laughed, though indulged her.

Feeling his bare chest under her fingertips as she licked into his mouth made her patience run thin, she couldn’t keep kissing him without continuing to bruise his skin. The sight of the bruises she’d left on his neck a few minutes before made her mouth water with the need to leave more.

Ella got drunk off the whimpers and shaky moans Alex let out as she sucked harshly on his skin, his hips bucking every time she sunk her teeth into his flesh. He was a mess, clawing at the sheets as she abused his skin, and she fucking loved it. “I want to ruin you,” she revealed.

“Yeah?”

Making her way down with wet open mouthed kisses, she got right below his navel where his happy trail started and came down until it disappeared beneath his clothes. She licked a bold strip up the hair there, smirking when he cried out in pleasure and thrusted upwards so his bulge hit her tits.

“I want you to fucking beg.”

She left more kisses along the edge of his jeans, making him bite on his bottom lip to stop himself from being too loud. But that was exactly what she wanted, so she latched onto a patch of his skin there and started sucking harshly until his fingers came to tangle in her hair and pulled her off him.

He would definitely cum in his pants if she continued teasing him like that.

“Do you trust me?” She asked sweetly, batting her lashes at him. Putting on the innocence act to have him say yes to what she wanted to do. Not that she needed it, because he’d do anything she wanted now that he had her like this.

His mind was a mess and his words failed him so he only nodded. She tutted and shook her head as she started crawling up his body until their noses brushed and they couldn’t look anywhere else but into each other’s eyes.

“Words, baby.” She whispered, her voice low and sultry making him groan before nodding again.

This time his nod was accompanied by, “I do. I trust you.”

Ella hummed in satisfaction, and she turned her head slightly to the side to kiss the palm of his hand, which was still holding her head with his fingers tangled in the strands of her hair.

But for what she wanted to do, she needed him to drop his hold on her. So she held onto his wrist to pull his hand away and she peeled herself off and away from him.

His gaze followed her intently as she got off the bed and stood at the side of it, slowly undoing the button and zip of her shorts and pulling them down, making a whole show of undressing that only made Alex grow achingly harder inside his jeans.

His breath hitched in his throat seeing her like that, almost entirely bare for him. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered. She grinned. She swayed her hips a little as she hooked her fingers on the edge of her underwear and without breaking eye contact, she shed herself of the last piece of clothing that kept herself hidden from him.

Alex whined from the back of his throat. “You’re not real. You were made to be my downfall.”

“Yes,” Ella agreed. To ruin him, to unravel him. Fully naked, she came back on the bed to straddle him again. Her slick core brushed against his bulge over his jeans and she smirked harder at the way he reacted, a whine leaving his lips, hips bucking up as his hands held her hips tightly, pressing her against him and keeping her there as she slowly rolled her hips on him. “I’ll make you fall, Alex.”

“You already have.” She smiled, raking a hand through his hair. His lips part, a quiet moan on his lips.

Ella loved the view she had, Alex fully at her mercy. She just couldn’t believe her luck; after all those years of thinking and fantasizing about it, she could finally have him like this.

“You look so pretty like this.” Her thumb rubbed at his cheek as she cupped it, leaning in until their breaths mixed together. Her fingers slowly moved down his face until she could wrap her fingers around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

Their lips met hungrily again, Alex had her naked on top of him and he wanted nothing more than take his jeans and underwear off and fuck her senseless, but Ella had other plans.

Her lips left his mouth to start kissing all over his face, each peck followed by some type of praise that he was loving. “Beautiful.” Smack. “Talented.” Smack. “Smart.” Smack. “Loving.” Smack. His heart swelled in his chest, the contrast between her shameless lustful behavior and the sweet words she kept uttering had him dazed. “And that nose,” she teased. With one last peck on his lips which Alex tried to elongate, Ella found his gaze and with the sweetest voice, asked him, “Can I ride your pretty face?”

His breath staggered hearing that, his cock twitching in his pants at the thought of what was about to happen. He nodded quickly like he had just a few seconds to answer before the offer was gone, and he added a breathless please when he remembered her telling him to use his words.

That was enough of a greenlight for Ella to push herself up on her knees and start shuffling up his body until she’d been hovering over his face. She would’ve kissed him once more if she wasn’t desperate to feel his mouth on her cunt already, if she wasn’t dripping and throbbing for his touch.

Alex’s lips parted at the sight of her slick cunt practically begging for him to latch his mouth on her. His hands ran up her thighs slowly until he rested them on her hips and he guided her a bit further up on the bed so her knees caged his head in place.

He was almost drooling, already imagining how sweet she’d taste on his tongue. But despite the growing burning need to lick up her folds already, he started kissing up the insides of her thighs, sucking and biting the skin like she now knew he loved to do and making her whimper and squirm in his hold.

There seemed to be no hurry in his mind, repeating the actions in that same agonizing pace on her other leg. By the time he got incredibly closer to her sopping cunt and her legs started to tremble from the teasing, she was ready to tell him off for it. She felt the way his hot breath left from so close to her core, a frustrated whimper fell from her lips.

Just when Ella looked down with a frown and her hand came down to tangle in his hair, he craned his neck up to lick a bold strip up her folds, wrapping his lips around her clit once he licked past her entrance.

He hummed at her taste, using his hands to pull her closer to his mouth just as he taunted, “Come closer, darling. You taste so fucking good.”

Without wasting more time, he started flicking his tongue up and down, her slick already dripping down his chin and mixing with his spit as he lapped and lapped like he was starved.

One of his hands left her hip and came down to her cunt, to spread her open so he could properly suck her clit, the pressure of it making her get louder and start pulling on his hair to bring him closer to her. “Need you. Fuck, Alex, keep doing that.”

He fucking loved it, the reaction only pushed him to getting more out of her. By that point, he was humping the air in search of some kind of relief. Her moans only made him drip in his jeans but he had no time to feel embarrassed at the pace in which he was ruining his pants, not when he had her sweetness all over his face.

He moved down, two fingers spreading her folds as he pointed his tongue and he started dipping it inside her sopping hole. Her back arched, breath hitching in her throat, “Fuck, yes Alex–” She could just keep saying his name as he started fucking her with his tongue, broken gasps and high pitched moans slipped past her lips and only got louder and more desperate when he started moving his head, causing his nose to flick at her clit with every thrust of his tongue inside her.

It was all so much. Not only what he was doing to her but the whole scene, it was so much better than she could’ve ever imagined and as he continued working his tongue in and out of her before lapping up at her arousal only to end up with him flicking and sucking on her clit, Ella was sure she wouldn’t last much longer.

“Oh God, oh God.” Ella rolled her hips on his face, grabbing her own breast and playing with the nipple. Pleasure rushed through her. “Fuck, Alex, you’re–”

The mix of her arousal and his spit was already dripping down his neck by the time he teased one of his fingers into the cunt. His mouth left her clit and the hot breath that came from it along with his gasp as her hole swallowed his finger with ease made her even more of a whining mess. “–Perfect,” she finally finished, though with much difficulty. “You’re perfect.”

He curled his finger inside her before drawing it back and the loss of the slight fullness had Ella crying out loud. So at the same time as he wrapped his lips around her clit again, he pushed two fingers inside her, curling them and making her legs shake and her hips rut as she leaned forward and held onto his headboard with a white knuckled grip.

The feeling of his skilled fingers curling inside her and his mouth sucking harshly on her clit made Ella erratically grind her hips against his face. “Alex! Yes! Yes!” She chanted breathlessly, every one of his actions stealing the breath from her lungs. She felt her orgasm so fucking close, her brain melted and every one of her filthy thoughts left her, “God, I fucking love your mouth! So eager, so greedy. Lapping at me like you’re starved, like you need me. It was made for me. Made to be between my thighs.” A throaty and long hum came from him, that vibrated against her and made her squeal in pleasure.

So he did it again, and again, along with picking up the pace with his fingers. “Made to worship me,” Ella blabbered on, mindless. “All perfect and hot and– Fuck, Alex–” The combination of it all threw Ella over the edge.

Profanities along with his name was all that he could hear from her as she came all over his mouth and face. Despite the tremble of her legs and the stuttering of her hips as she came, he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, not when he looked up at her and saw how fucking stunning she looked as she came. Her chest flushed and her tits bouncing as she rutted on his face, her mouth agape and brows scrunched up in pleasure, hair a mess falling on her shoulder and sticking to the sides of her face as a thin coat of sweat glazed her skin.

Riding out her high with that in mind, Alex kept his unrelenting pace until it made Ella’s knees weak and she had to be the one to pull him away from her cunt before she fell on his face and smothered him.

It wasn’t like Alex wouldn’t say that was the best way to go.

“That nose,” she cursed, shaking her head.

Her chest was heaving as she struggled to shuffle down his body, while he was hypnotized with how good she looked all fucked out. “I want to do that again. And again. And again. For the rest of my fucking life.” Ella chuckled at his words, still shortwinded. “I’m serious. I want that view forever.”

“Oh my– Fuck, c’mere,” Ella wrapped her hand around his neck as she looked at him, her cum all over his face. She hastily leaned in to kiss him and when she tasted herself, a loud moan came from her. It rumbled through her chest and she only got more desperate when she settled her hips on his and felt him rock hard in his jeans.

Her head spinned as a new wave of arousal flooded her system, as if she hadn’t just cum all over his face a few seconds before.

Sticking her tongue out, she lapped at the mess that had dripped down his neck. Lewd noises came from her as she tasted herself on his skin and when she got to his jaw, she wiped his chin with her thumb and brought it up to his mouth for him to suck. A smirk broke on her face when his wet swollen lips wrapped around her finger, eyes rolling back into his head and humming as he tasted the last bits of her arousal.

She admired him for a few seconds, her thumb brushing against his lips while she cupped his jaw and her other hand went up to brush his hair back. “See, I knew you were beautiful but you look even prettier with my cum all over your face.”

His cock twitched in his pants, her praises making him harder than he thought he could get from just words, but she was just so stunning like this, taking complete control over him and making a mess of him. He’d never considered himself submissive but fucking hell wouldn’t he willingly put himself at her mercy every time if that was what she wanted. The filthy words she’d been saying as she rode his face came to the forefront of his mind and he couldn’t help but point out the contrast between them and her sweet praise, it was just like the contrast of her sweet shy self and the Ella he was seeing now.

“God, you couldn’t be more perfect,” he whispered, barely registering the words left his mouth.

His hips bucked once again and his face fell into a pained expression when he brushed against her cunt. Ella pouted at the look on his face, feeling just how fucking hard he was and how he must be aching in those jeans, so she leaned in to peck his lips before saying softly, “Let me take care of you, yeah?” Alex whimpered when she rolled her hips once more as he nodded at her words. Again, she teased, “Words?”

“Please.”

“So polite.” He caught a glimpse of her smirk while she busied herself into kissing down his jaw and neck, down his chest until she was facing his bulge. With deft fingers, she undid the button and tugged down the zip, her fingers hooked on the edge of the denim to start peeling it off him and she smiled when he lifted his hips up to let her take them off him.

Alex was slightly relieved from the partial freedom, sighing as she kissed back up his chest and met his lips once more. But when she started rolling her hips slowly on his again, he knew that she was teasing him and he didn’t know how much of that he could take.

“Ella, please.” He mumbled in a broken moan when her hips rolled again.

Their lips brushed when she asked, “What do you want, baby?” Her hips stopped so he could form a coherent answer to her question.

Alex felt like he would explode at any second, so he just shook his head as he peeled his eyes open and stared into her eyes, “Anything. Just need you, darling.”

Biting her bottom lip, Ella took in every detail of his face. She sighed heavily before kissing him again. Leave it to him to sweet talk her into considering not teasing him and give him exactly what he wanted.

She could find some middle ground, so she enjoyed the slow trail of her mouth kissing down his chest and licking over the bruises she’d left there already. And she especially enjoyed hearing him whimper when she finally got to the band of his boxers and all she did was leave open mouthed kisses along it.

Taking some pity on Alex, Ella thought it had been enough taunting so she brought his boxers down, his hard cock springing free and slapping against his belly. He was swollen and heavy, red tip already leaking so much precum and her mouth watered at the sight, wanting nothing more than to take him in her mouth and gag on it but the need to continue teasing him a bit more was far stronger.

She moved back up to face him and he was about to complain but all the words died in his throat when she grabbed his chin and turned his head to the side so he could face her and said, “Spit in my mouth.” before parting her lips and sticking her tongue out for him to spit on.

“Fucking hell, Ella.” Alex cursed under his breath. He was sure she’d been made for him, this was something he hadn’t seen coming but fucking hell didn’t it make him want to kiss her lips until they were bruised and make her cum over and over until she couldn’t move out of bed. There was this animalistic need to give her everything he could give, until he could satiate the need of her.

Ella rolled her eyes and dug her fingers harshly into his face as if to hurry him and he snapped out of his trance to cup her jaw firmly, spitting into her mouth just like she’d requested. She hummed and closed her eyes in bliss when she felt his warm spit coating her tongue, closing her mouth to swallow it.

“Do it again.” She said, stealing Alex’s air from his lungs all over again, his cock twitching and he felt a bead of precum leaking out of the tip.

He spat in her mouth again but this time she didn’t swallow it, she shuffled down the bed to come back beside his cock and wrap her fingers around it, spitting on it and letting the mixture of her and Alex’s saliva dribble down his length until it hit the duvet.

“You’re filthy,” he whined, and it sounded like a praise.

Her thumb rubbed on the tip of his cock, smearing the precum down his length and starting to stroke him up and down slowly. Her eyes admired the way his cock looked thrusting in and out her fist, throat going dry at the thought of how it’d look like as he fucked her, but then she looked up and saw him already a flushed panting mess and she couldn’t help but stopping her movements to taunt him.

Alex groaned at the loss of the friction her hand brought on him and out of desperation, he started thrusting up into her hand to resume the pleasure that it had brought him. Ella smirked and started moving again, a very slow pace to have him do most of the work. “That’s it, fuck my fist.”

He whimpered, leaking more and more of his salty arousal as his pleasure made him shudder and stop being able to keep his eyes open. All he could think of was cumming, so he picked up his pace, his hips meeting her fist every time he thrusted up, “Oh Ella– Fuck!”

She could only watch him with her mouth agape, almost drooling and her cunt throbbing and clenching around nothing at the sight. She had to press her thighs together to get some kind of alleviation. “Yes Alex, just like that. Is this how you fucked yours huh? Is this how you fucked your fist to my pictures?”

Alex was desperate to orgasm, her statement almost flying past him. His brows furrowed, concentrated in the rhythm he had set for himself but he grew confused as to how she knew that. “Wha– Ah fuck! Who told you that?”

She chuckled at his lack of denial, “Who do you think?” She giggled at herself, finding it amusing that she’d brought this up in such a situation.

A string of profanities left him, as he felt himself growing closer and closer to his orgasm. His hips started stuttering and she tutted, “No, you’re not cumming yet babe.” Her fist left his cock, coming to rest on the mattress and a massive smirk showed on her face when his eyes went wide open and he started complaining.

“But Ella– Please, let me–” He choked on his words when her thumb brushed on his tip again and she brought the finger up to her mouth to suck. “Please, darling. I need it. Need you.”

She hummed, satisfied with his growing desperation and making a show of swiping her thumb over the tip of his cock again and moaning loudly at his taste. He groaned in protest, but she shut him up with a hot kiss, smacking lips and teeth clashing for a minute until she felt him rubbing against her leg, dripping precum over her.

She left him with a peck, moving back down his body and once more, she grabbed his cock. This time not waiting before licking a bold strip from the base to the tip, sucking harshly on the head of his cock before letting it go with a pop when he whimpered loudly, “Tell me how bad you want it.”

He looked down at her and couldn’t do more than just curse under his breath, “Fuck, Ella.” He could bust right then and there just from the view.

Her breathy chuckle hit the tip of his cock and he whined, “That’s the spirit but not what I asked.”

Alex ached and he knew he had to listen to her if he wanted to get anything, “I want you so bad darling, your mouth–”

But Ella was enjoying this way too much so she teased him some more, her words coming out in a sing-song tone, “You’re missing the magic word.”

He rolled his eyes and threw his head back on the pillows, “Please darling, I want to fuck your mouth.”

A snort of laughter came from her, Alex groaned at the sound because he was on the verge of tears and begging for her to do something, anything. “Chivalry is truly not dead after all, huh?” She joked with a stupid smile on her face.

The singer would’ve laughed in any other situation but he was about to lose it, he couldn’t even use his hands because he was fisting the duvet so hard his fingers ached. “Stop teasing, Ella, please.”

She dared him then, “Oh, but I thought you liked teasing?” There was a clear memory of him stating that, and how it’d opened a can of worms that always came to the forefront of her mind when she touched herself to the thought of him.

She smirked again and taunted him by leaving a soft peck on the tip of his cock, making Alex cry out a pained, “Fuck me–”

Still teasing, Ella hummed and played with the meaning of his words in a nonchalant manner, “Maybe in a bit, if you’re good and listen to what I say.”

Despaired now, he didn’t mind begging at all, “I will, I will. I promise baby. Just– Please Ella, I need you. Need you so fucking bad.” The vein on the side of his neck protruded as he spoke in a haste.

Ella was more than satisfied with that and she breathily let him know what had been her plan all along, “Just like that, Alex. I want you desperate.”

And with that she took him in her mouth, inhaling deeply through her nose to take him as deep as she could. When he hit the back of her throat, Alex subconsciously thrusted into her mouth, moaning louder than he had anticipated, making her gag but moan back in response when she drew back enough to take a deep breath.

With her taking him to the back of her throat every time, hollowing her cheeks and bobbing her head up and down relentlessly, he started twitching in her mouth and squirming beneath her in a minute. Ella knew he was close and she would’ve loved to have him paint her throat with his cum but this time she wanted him inside her, to spill in her cunt and drip out of her like she’d fantasized about so many times before, so just as he started gasping and his hips started stuttering, she pulled back and left him hanging over the edge of climax.

“Ella–” He choked out as he felt the coil of pleasure that had been tensing and building up as he’d been buried deep in her mouth completely left him and all that was left was the uncomfortable feeling of a stolen orgasm.

“Wait, sweetness.” She said in an infuriatingly sweet tone, cupping his jaw as she stood beside the edge of the bed and kissing him softly before standing back up and saying, “I want to do something. Stay there.”

She turned on her heels and made her way to his walk-in closet, knowing she would be able to find something there if she were to look for it. But she'd only taken three steps into the room when she heard the movement back in his room. He had painfully sat himself on bed, back against the cold metal rods that formed his headboard, and he’d been debating whether or not to get himself off to relieve himself of the ache that washed over him when her voice hit him like a ton of bricks, a heavy demanding tone behind her words, “If you don’t listen to what I say, you’re not getting a single thing, Turner.”

Alex froze in his spot, his cock twitching at the dominating roll she was taking. He threw his head back and swallowed a groan. He hadn’t even cum and she’d already ruined him, there would never be another one but her.

He waited patiently, a minute passed and all he could hear were the drawers being opened and closed until he saw her come back into the bedroom with one of his ties on her right hand.

She smirked seeing him sitting in bed waiting for her. She cooed like it actually amazed her that he listened and got on the bed again, placing her knees on each side of his hips to straddle him. Her hand came up to cup his jaw and her thumb brushed soft circles on his skin before she praised him with a proud, “Good boy.”

She distracted him with a dizzying kiss, one that he indulged in with feverish eagerness until she pulled back and their lips separated with a smack, the sound was followed by her words which sounded more of a statement than a question, “I’m gonna tie you up, yeah?” He nodded quickly, his brain a mush and unable to even think about what it was that she wanted to do to him tied up to his headboard but he was willing to comply if it meant that she’d make him cum.

He didn’t even have time to complain or ask questions because her tits had been on his face while she tied his wrists avidly to the posts of the headboard and he’d been too busy biting and sucking on them.

She moaned when he caught one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked it. Despite the very nice distraction, she pulled on the knots she so expertly knew how to tie and grinned in satisfaction when seeing them hold his wrists perfectly for her.

Ella sat on his lap, feeling his cock still hard coming to touch her drenched cunt and brought her hand to his face when he hissed at the contact. “I know.” She said softly before kissing him softly and briefly. “Is this alright?” She needed to ask again, to make sure it wasn’t too much since she could see the way his eyes were glazed over with frustrated tears from the edging.

But Alex nodded with a loopy smile that she loved and all she could do was smirk, nothing but a mischievous look in her eyes.

A look that’d get a meaning when she spoke up again, “If you’re cumming anywhere today, it’s gonna be inside me, okay?”

Alex nodded despite the shock her words had given him, his mouth agape in surprise at her bluntness.

Her hand slowly crawled down his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his length, she watched with a parted mouth as he threw his head back at the contact and he muttered under his breath, “Fuck me…”

A bright grin broke on her face and she leaned in to lick his bottom lip before saying, “That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

Alex was left with his mouth parted in search of a kiss but oxygen left his lungs when she pulled back slightly to spit on his cock, her hand starting to pump him a handful of times before she lined him up with her sopping entrance. She knew it would be easy to sink into him with how wet she was and the mess she’d made of Alex.

Just to build on the last bits of anticipation, she brushed his cock up and down her cunt, shivering when he grazed her clit.

“Darling…” Alex breathed out in pain, hidden away in the crook of her neck as she teased his tip in her hole.

She hummed, acknowledging him and finally letting herself sink down on him. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her as her mouth went slack and a soft whimper left her at the stretch of his cock, but his gaze fell down to see where they connected and his eyes rolled back into his skull. He could just cum seeing himself buried balls deep inside her, snugging him so tightly and clenching around him as she slightly squirmed over him when adjusting her balance on her knees.

She cried out in pleasure right as she started moving, rolling her hips tentatively to set a starting pace. But she could barely get a hold of her own thoughts, all that went through her mind was how she could feel every ridge and vein, how he was making her brain melt inside her skull with the way he felt inside her, “Filling me up so good.”

Alex swore he was seeing stars with how she was squeezing him, how good she looked as her hips rolled with an increasing speed that would surely drive him to the edge in no time, “Fuck, you’re so tight–”

With every roll of her hips, her clit pressed against his pubic bone and offered her a delicious pressure that made her eyes roll back. Her gasps and moans got louder as she went faster and the melodies of their pleasured sounds turned into a pornographic harmony when Ella went from rolling her hips to bouncing on his cock.

Her tits bounced as she picked up the pace, her hands resting on his chest for leverage and her hair falling in front of her face as she leaned in and changed the angle slightly. Alex stared at Ella fucking herself on his cock and it was a scene that not even his dreams could amount to. Watching himself disappear inside her over and over, and feeling her slick dripping down his cock and making a mess of the bedsheets had him looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds, willing himself not to cum too fast, to last as long as he could so they could cum together.

“Is this how you imagined?” She teased.

“Better,” Alex swore, too gone to be anything but sincere. “You’re perfect. You’re– I couldn’t have made you up. I couldn’t have ever imagined– God, you’re everything I need, Ella.”

The sound of the skin slapping every time they met was loud so the shit she muttered under her breath was barely audible. Ella slowed down just a bit to stabilize herself with just her left hand on his chest, bringing her right hand up to his neck and wrapping her fingers deftly around it, “I’ve always wanted to do this with you.”

Her fingers pressed on the sides of his neck, choking him just the perfect way. Her ‘Pure Desire’ tattoo adorning his throat. It was a miracle how he didn’t cum from just her doing that, that lustful look on her face as she watched him gasp and choke on a whimper as her fingertips dug on the sides of his neck. It just made Alex want to fuck her harder, and it seemed like it had the same effect on her because she picked up her pace despite the burning of her thighs from the effort.

Alex met her in the middle with every bounce, thrusting his hips up into her and hitting the perfect spot for her. “Right there, right there! Alex!” She was growing breathless, barely able to pick her head up. She was starting to regret tying him up just a little, she wanted him to hold her and help her match his eager thrusts as she got closer to her orgasm.

Digging his heels on the mattress, Alex found the footing to quicken the pace, “Ella– fuck!” He groaned and moaned loudly, his mind reeling when his hearing was entirely overcome by the sounds of the skin slapping and Ella’s mewls and whines.

Ella gasped with every thrust, the coil in her lower stomach tightening impossibly each time he hit that sweet spot inside her and her grip on his neck got tighter as she clenched hard around him. Her legs started trembling more and more and then her orgasm hit her suddenly, blacking out her sight as she shook and spasmed on him, loud cries of his name accompanied the symphony.

Seeing Ella as she came again, hearing how she cried out his name and the way she squeezed his cock with her cunt, Alex came hard inside her. His thrusts became sloppy as he shivered and his cock twitched as he spilled and painted her walls with his cum. His hips stuttered as her tightness milked his cock relentlessly, but he still rocked his hips into her, meeting her slow messy pace as they both came down from their highs.

With her legs trembling, Ella just dropped against his chest, completely fucked off reality for a few minutes. All they could hear was each other’s breathing and their hearts beating in sync as their chests pressed against each other.

She wondered why Alex was keeping his touch away from her when she remembered she’d tied him up so she lifted her head up and brushed her hair back to reach out and undo his restraints with one pull of the end of the tie.

Alex groaned at the feeling of his arms plopping down beside his head, but he ignored the soreness of his limbs when he could finally brush her hair back from where it stuck to her sweaty face and cup her jaw to give her a sweet kiss he’d been craving to give her the whole time she was riding him.

Ella smiled into the kiss when she remembered all that had happened in a matter of a few minutes. She’d lost track of time entirely, not even able to point out how long it could’ve been since she’d showed up at his house to just tell him all that she’d been holding back.

The happiness that bubbled inside her filled her with warmth and a small burst of energy enough to have her peel herself off him to rest beside him in bed. She lifted herself off him and settled to his right with a soft whine at the loss of him. Alex turned to his side and cupped her face once more to give her a quick kiss before he pushed himself up and off the bed with a quick, “I’ll be right back darling.”

He got up and went to his ensuite to clean himself up, flashbacks of what had happened made his cock twitch again. He got a cloth and wet it with warm water, taking it with him to clean Ella up.

Her eyes lazily followed him as he came back into his room and up to her. His hands softly spread her legs out to clean up the mess in between her legs. His cum dripping out of her mixed with her own had Alex biting his bottom lip, a shaky breath out his nose before he cursed out loud, “Fuck me.” She whimpered at the touch of the cloth against her overstimulated center, and he kissed her softly as an apology, being careful to continue cleaning her up until she was rid of it all. He had made a mental note to stuff his cum back in her next time, see it dripping out of her over and over, fuck the cum inside her with his fingers or his cock.

Alex left to go back to the bathroom with that in mind, his blood rushing south again the more he imagined it all. When he went back to bed, he noticed Ella had thrown the ruined duvet on the floor and gotten under the sheets. And when he turned to see her, she made grabby hands at him. He chuckled at the contrast of her behavior throughout the night, but was quick to cuddle her into him.

They snuggled beneath the sheets, their legs tangling together as his arm snaked under her to wrap around her waist and holding her flush against him so she could rest her head on his chest. Throwing her arm across his middle to keep him close, Ella nuzzled her head into his chest and she melted against him.

With Alex rubbing circles on her waist, Ella was starting to fall asleep. It was still light outside, the sun still heating up the ground outside and the bright rays managing their way into the room through the thin curtains that covered the windows, but her eyes grew heavy and her breathing evened out as time passed.

That was until Alex sighed loudly out of the blue and cursed, “Well, fucking hell.”

Ella frowned, confused by his sudden choice of words, “What?”

But Alex had been replaying everything in his mind and he felt himself growing flustered and hotter the more he recalled, “You’re seriously asking what after that?”

She couldn’t help but blush, because how the fuck had she gone from crying and going on and on about how tired she was of silently wanting him yet losing him every time to riding his face, edging him twice to then tie him up and fuck the lights out of him.

So she hid her face behind her hands, not wanting Alex to see her face, which she knew had to be bright red.

“Oh don’t go all shy on me now, darling.” He played with her, a chuckle slipping past his lips. His fingers peeling her hands off her face, only to be followed by littering every bit of her face with kisses until she was giggling and cuddled back into him.

They laid there in silence, dropping sweet kisses and tracing patterns on each other’s skin. It was one of those comfortable silences that they’d developed ever since they grew back together during the recording of AM.

A silence that was shattered by Alex thinking out loud, “Now I know what it feels like…”

She snorted when hearing him trail off like that, because what would that even mean? He wasn’t a virgin. “Huh?” She frowned as she looked up at him, trying to hide her amusement by pursing her lips.

“To be that bull.” Alex simply stated, looking down at her with a growing smirk on his face.

She was even more confused then, “Bull? What bull?”

“The one from that pub when you broke the record.” He explained with an obvious tone in his voice.

Ella burst out laughing at the realization of what he was implying. As if her riding that mechanical bull for three minutes was anything near what they’d done just then. She shoved him by his shoulder, letting herself fall away from his hold still laughing, “Fucks sake Alex, you’re an idiot.”

He hooked his arms around her waist again and pulled her into him again, “What? Thought you were a proud cowgirl?”

But she shook her head in disbelief and hid in the crook of his neck, mumbling a halfhearted “Stop.” on his bruised skin.

“Nothing not to be proud of with how well you ride, darling.” The singer added, to which she pinched his side, making him jump and yelp aloud.

With a frown to conceal her amusement, Ella came out of her hiding place, narrowed eyes to help her threat resonate in his head, “I’m gagging you next time.”

Alex shook his head as he watched a smirk slowly breaking on her face, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Her gaze dropped to his lips, picturing them all wet and swollen, wrapped around a gag, leather belt wrapped around the back of his head and tight on the skin of his face. That was a view she certainly would appreciate, “I’d love it.”

Love. Alex smiled at the word, remembering he finally could tell her, “I love you.” and have her know exactly what he meant.

Ella’s heart was almost bursting at its seams when he said that, saying “I love you.” back to him was the easiest thing she could ever do.

Staring at each other adoringly, a minute or two passed. He twirled a strand of her hair slowly with his fingers, counting each freckle on her skin and taking in every bit of her in this new setting.

“How long have you been holding that back?” He asked curiously, wanting to know how long she’d been agonizingly waiting to let all those words out. His chest hurt when remembering her mentioning the pictures paparazzis had taken of him and Alexa and how she’d implied him going for Alexa just like he’d gone for Arielle two years before.

Ella genuinely asked back, “Wanting to fuck you?”

“No, you dickhead.” Alex replied with a cackle, his giggles falling right behind his words, making her giggle along until he could clarify, “Wanting to tell me you love me.”

“I was in denial for a while.” Ella admitted easily. There was no reason to not be entirely transparent with him anymore and she hoped he felt the same way as she continued, “But as soon as I saw you leave that morning… I was just entirely sure about it the second I woke up.”

He frowned, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

She scoffed softly when just considering how that would’ve happened, “Tell you that over the phone? No chance.” She was so glad it hadn’t been that way, because having him close after having told him everything felt so right and she knew she would’ve cried when he reciprocated and she couldn’t have him beside her right then and there.

Alex hummed, knowing what she meant, “I reckon if you’d told me when I was away, I would’ve cried not being able to kiss you right then and there.”

“Exactly.” Ella said, slightly wide eyes at the way it just felt like he’d read her mind. But before she could forget, she asked him, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

With an embarrassed smile on his face, Alex shyly replied, “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.”

She sighed, smiling at their own foolishness. Both of them were concerned about the same thing and instead of speaking about it, they kept it to themselves in fear of rejection as if their actions didn’t speak louder than their hushed words. “We’re such idiots.”

“We are.” Alex agreed with a grin on his face, leaning in until their noses brushed and giving her a eskimo kiss before slotting his lips between hers.

Her fingers delicately held his jaw as they kissed slowly, all that hunger had simmered down and turned into tenderness, wanting to feel each other as close as they could like becoming one was possible. There was no rush, the only priority was taking in every second their lips moved together, tasting each other’s tongues with patience and trying to translate their love into it.

“How long has it been for you?” Ella asked softly when she pulled away after a minute of slowly kissing, her thumb rubbing circles on his jaw.

Alex smirked when he knew what he could say about the very second he realized how he felt for Ella, “You wanna know who was there when I realized it all?”

Her curiosity was piqued by the weird approach of his answer, “Who?”

The last thing Ella was waiting for him to say was, “Alexa.”

A quick, “No.” in disbelief left her lips, Ella’s cheeks heating up at the fact that she’d been horrendously affected by her presence beside Alex on a picture when Alexa had been there the time Alex came to the conclusion that he was in love with her.

“Yes.” Alex continued smirking as he said, eager to see her reaction when he’d tell her just how it had happened. “Remember how we were on the phone at the wedding and she came by for a smoke?” Ella nodded, remembering that exact moment way too well for her liking, “You hung up and she just asked who you were. And once she asked, I couldn’t stop talking about you. She just listened and kept teasing me about it. I was gonna leave but then she asked why I hadn’t made a move, said something like ‘you really like her, don’t you?’ and it dawned on me; how I just couldn’t say I liked you because it wasn’t enough.”

Ella looked at him with teasing wide eyes and played, “‘Cause you love me.”

He hummed with a foolish grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, “Because I love you.”

Alex couldn’t help catching her mouth in a kiss again. Now that he could freely kiss her any time he wanted, there was no moment he wouldn’t be thinking of tasting her mouth and feeling her lips on his. She was all he needed to get drunk from.

He caught her bottom lip with his teeth before he could pull back from the kiss, tugging on her lip until she hummed in satisfaction at his action. Her pupils enlarged when he let go of her lip and looked at her in the eyes. She took it as the perfect opportunity to answer the question she thought he’d meant to ask at the start, “If I’m being honest, I’ve always wanted to fuck you.”

His mouth opened agape in slight shock, “Oi, you filthy bitch.” He called her out for the bluntness he would have to get used to without becoming speechless, but she’d caught him off guard and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What?!” She frowned and scoffed before calling him out, “Don’t even start, Turner. Not when I know that you were getting yourself off to my pictures.”

He played dumb very obviously, the inflection of his voice going up as he asked, “Who? Me?”

“Yeah, you. Pervert.” Ella narrowed her eyes as she joked, calling him out further by adding, “And whilst you had a girlfriend too!”

At the mention of that, Alex dropped his joking expression and sighed in regret as he got serious, “Don’t. I actually feel really bad about that. I had to break up with her because I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

She’d always been curious as to why he’d broken up with Arielle all of the sudden so she gasped and looked for more answers, “Are you serious?”

He hummed, wincing as he recalled, “I called her your name one time and I just couldn’t continue in that relationship after that.”

Ella gasped horrified, “You didn’t Cornerstone poor Arielle to me!” She couldn’t believe him, barely being able to scold him with the way her jaw was on the floor in shock, “Alexander David Turner!”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized wholeheartedly.

Her eyes looked into his unwavering for a minute and when she remembered a certain piece of information she’d gotten all those months before, she slapped her hand over her mouth and a muffled, “Oh my god. No. No. No. No.” came from her.

Alex frowned in confusion, his eyes swimming all over her face searching for answers but she just kept her mouth agape in further shock behind her hand, “What?!”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Alex?!” Her hand went from covering her mouth to cover her eyes as she sighed, entirely appalled by it all.

“What?!” The singer asked again, he’d no idea why the look on her face and he was starting to worry.

She had to take a few seconds to gather her thoughts before letting him know, “She fucking called me, you know? After you broke up with her, saying how you’d had the best sex the night before you broke up with her. And he said you called her darling for the first time that night!”

Alex hissed when he heard that and he knew he’d just have to admit to his mistakes, “I did call her darling ‘cause I was picturing you but she didn’t hear me calling her Ellie when I came.”

Another gasp came from Ella, “Alex! For fucks sake!”

“I know, I felt horrible.” Alex admitted, regret written all over his face, “I really did. If it counts for anything.”

Ella shook her head in disbelief, “Alex, I took her out to the club to make her feel better when it was because of me all along?!”

But Alex wouldn’t let her take that blow when it had all been his actions that caused Arielle hurt, “It wasn’t your fault, love. That was all me.”

“Alexxxxxx.” Ella whined as she covered her face with her hands again but this time because she had no idea what to say anymore. She was starting to feel bad for that having happened to Arielle due to her own existence and of course, Alex’s lack of self control. But she felt even worse for the fact that her stomach flipped and she filled up with a strange feeling when knowing she’d made Alex a total and complete mess since that long ago.

“Stop it.” Alex chuckled and pulled her in closer to him but she shuffled away from him the more he pulled on her wrists, “Come here.”

She shook her head, still hidden behind her hands, “No. I’m angry at you.”

“Our first argument already?” Alex joked and Ella rolled her eyes because she could hear the smirk on his face just from the tone of his voice.

“Slight disagreement.” Ella corrected, making Alex cackle loudly.

“Right.” He snickered before pulling on her wrists again, “Don’t hide please.” If she wasn’t gonna let herself be pulled towards him, then he’d go to her. So he crawled over to where she was and hovered on top of her, leaning in to leave a kiss on top of her hands and whisper, “I love you.”

She huffed, dropping her hands from her face to show her frown and cross her arms over her chest, “No, don’t bribe me like that.”

But how could he not? He just couldn’t hold himself back from saying, “I love you.” followed by a kiss on the right side of her face. Another “Love you.” with a kiss to the left side of her face. And one last “Love you so much.” before catching her lips in an elongated peck.

Despite the fact that she’d gracefully accepted the peck, when Alex pulled back, Ella still kept a blank expression on her face and said a meek, “Sure.”

He frowned, “Darling.”

“Alex.” Ella said back with the same determined tone he’d used.

He huffed childishly, “No.”

She chatted back with a short and dry, “Yes.” A roll of her eyes added in to accentuate her annoyance at it all.

But all that did to Alex was make him bite his lip because she looked so fucking hot when she was like this. He didn’t even know if he ever wanted to see her angry, but if she looked hotter than this, then he wouldn’t be opposed to being the target or her wrath.

“God, I fucking love you.” Alex groaned before cupping her face with his hands and pouncing on her lips.

His tongue licked at her bottom lip instantly and despite the fact that she was trying to continue acting all annoyed, she parted her mouth and invited him to lick into her mouth with a sigh of bliss.

Just to make her facade of annoyance crumble, Alex started moaning and groaning into the kiss, making a show of becoming sloppier with it and then leaving her mouth to attack her neck with wet open mouthed kisses so quick that the brush of his lips tickled her and had her giggling.

He pulled away when he heard her laughter, a loopy grin on his face matching the one on hers. But one that fell when she caught his gaze and said, “Now you gotta answer.”

“Huh?” He let out when he couldn’t put a finger on what she meant.

She smirked, her hands slowly brushing up his chest until they were resting on his shoulders and her legs wrapping around his hips before she asked, “How long have you been wanting to fuck me?”

Feeling her the heels of her feet digging into his ass, he let himself fall over her, his cock hardening just at the faintest touch of her cunt. “Ages.” He replied, gasping when she rolled her hips and he felt the arousal already wetting her core.

“Is that right?” She teased, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He hummed, a rush of heat flooding his body and blood rushing down to his cock just by the hungry look that had taken over her face. Her green eyes became black as her pupils dilated with another roll of her hips. “And I’ll make up for lost time until the day I die.” He swore out loud, because he would and it would not be a hardship in the slightest.

She grinned proudly at his words, butterflies fluttering in her belly at the hint of him willing to give her all those years of his life, willing to share all that time with her, “Good boy.”

His cock twitched at the praise. She’d fucking ruined him for good. “Call me that again.”

Ella smirked at his request but had no problem with repeating herself. “My.” She started saying, accentuating each word with a kiss, “Good.” Kiss. “Fucking.” Kiss. “Boy.”

Smashing their lips together, a bruising kiss followed as their hips started rolling in sync. Alex was already growing hard against her, his erection pressing onto her mound and she was getting more and more turned on from the way he reacted to her and the desperation seeping through his pores.

Alex could feel her already drenched and he couldn’t help but bring his hand down to gather some of her arousal. Two of his fingers ran up her folds and he hissed into her mouth. When he looked down, he let his fingers sink into her hole and her wetness allowed for them to glide in easily. The singer cursed under his breath when he drew his fingers back and when he looked back up at her, she let her mouth hang open inviting him to push his fingers into her mouth, wanting a taste.

He pushed his digits past her lips and let them heavily weigh down on the tip of her tongue. She moaned and her eyes rolled back at her taste, swirling her tongue around them before fully sinking them onto her mouth and humming in satisfaction when tasting even more of her wetness.

His mouth fell agape as he took in the filthiness of the scene, “How did I get so lucky?”

Letting go of his fingers with a pop, Ella replied to his question with a passionate kiss. So messy and pointless for their teeth clashed and couldn’t stop gasping the more their hips rolled into each other’s. But Alex could taste her arousal on her tongue and it drove him mad. He wanted another taste, he needed it.

So he broke the kiss, a string of spit clinging between their wet lips, guiding his kisses down her jaw and neck, her chest and abdomen until he reached her mound. Ella shuddered feeling his hot breath growing closer and closer to her heat, a wave of pleasure making her hips rut on the bed.

Her cunt was glistening, inviting him to have a fucking feast. And that he did once he threw her legs over his shoulders and he laid flat on the bed. His tongue pressed flat against her cunt and started to lap eagerly up and down her folds. Her right hand flew to catch a hold of his hair while the other one came up to her chest, fingers kneading her own tits, pinching her nipples when he started flicking at her clit.

“F–fuck!” Ella cursed loudly when he sucked on her clit, her hips bucking quicker with every second that went by, her fingers abusing her pebbled nipples even more to intensify the pleasure his mouth was bringing her. “Alex, baby… Shit.”

He hummed with his lips wrapped around her clit, her back arching from the vibration reverberation all over her. Her toes curling and her mouth going slack when he pointed his tongue and started fucking her with it, moving his head in such a way that his nose was rubbing on her clit.

She fucking loved it. She hadn’t known how badly she’d wanted to feel that again until she did and now all she could think of was getting this every day for the rest of her life. “Mmmm, just like that.” She praised, her hips still meeting his movements and making her orgasm build up.

Alex looked up at her and the sight of her playing with her tits as he tongue fucked had him letting out a guttural groan and bucking his hips into the mattress. The friction that brought him made him whimper pathetically and once the whiny sound fell on Ella’s ears, she got louder.

He got more vocal then, humming and moaning as he lapped at her, flicked and sucked at her clit, pointed his tongue to tease her sopping hole; all of it over and over until her legs started shaking beside his head.

“Alex! Al– Fuck.” She messily let out in between gasps, “M’so close. Oh fuckkkkk.” She mewled when his tongue started flicking faster at her clit, her eyes screwed shut and her hand falling from her chest to claw at the sheets when she felt her orgasm approaching her rapidly.

With a yell of his name, she came on his tongue, coating it with the sweetness he was already addicted to. The wetness mixed with his spit dribbling down his chin as he tried his best to lap at every drop, not wanting to let any of it go to waste.

His hips started rutting faster against the mattress, the springs of his bed creaking as he went. The sound of it was the thing Ella first heard when she came down from her high, not knowing what it was until she looked down and saw Alex lapping at the arousal that had wet her inner thighs and his hips bucking relentlessly on the bed.

“I can’t get enough of the taste of you, darling,” he confessed, kissing her inner thigh. “I’m obsessed.”

Pulling on his hair, Ella peeled him away from her cunt and in between her panting as she tried catching her breath, she finally said, “Fuck me, Alex. I need you.” Even if she was spent, and she felt far too oversensitive, she couldn’t miss the chance of him filling her up again.

He couldn’t wait anymore so there was not a second to doubt nodding and giving into her wishes, he crawled up her body and pumped himself quickly before aligning his cock to her entrance. Pushing his hips forward slowly and sinking into her for the second time in the night, Alex swore that was exactly how heaven felt like. Her back arched off the mattress when he bottomed out, her legs wouldn’t stop shaking and she felt her eyes well up with tears at the stretch after having just cum.

A cry of his name blessed Alex’s ears at the same time he leaned in to groan onto her chest. “Fuck me, you feel so fucking perfect.” He praised as he tried to catch his breath, stilling inside her to give her time to adjust to his length again. She needed to relax again because if her cunt kept squeezing him like that, he wouldn’t last more than a minute.

Before he could start moving, he lifted her legs up slowly one by one until they were thrown over his shoulders, shuffling closer until the backs of her thighs were flush against his chest and he leaned into her, her knees coming closer to her chest and the new angle allowing for him to sink even deeper inside her.

“Oh my– Fuck!” She yelled at the stretch of this new angle that had him pressing into her g-spot perfectly. She shivered beneath him, hips struggling to stay in place when her body was screaming for him to start moving. She felt like she was about to explode. “Alex, Alex, move please.”

Alex started at a fairly quick pace, not being able to start slow because the angle in which he fucked her just made her squeeze his cock even tighter. Not that Ella wanted him slower, she could feel her second orgasm looming on her with force and she needed him to continue picking up his pace.

The claps of their skin filled up the room, along with her high pitched whimpers and his groans. Her head was thrown back, giving him full access to kiss and bite and suck the skin of her neck and when he did, it just made her pleasure increase tenfold.

“Al– harder. Please, harder.” Ella cried out, feeling herself about to fall over the edge, seeing stars behind her eyelids with every thrust.

“Aren’t you greedy?” Alex taunted but obliged, and with harder thrusts, it truly felt like he was fucking her into the matress, the springs creaking as it bounced from their movement.

“Yes! Don’t stop!” She yelled desperately, her orgasm building more intensely every time his pubic bone smacked against her clit, the pain turning into blinding pleasure that made her toes curl and her fingers pull harder on his hair.

Alex rested all of his weight on his left hand then, using his right hand to start rubbing her clit in quick motions to have her cum along with him because there was only so much longer he could hold and he was afraid he was getting closer and closer to his limit. “Are you gonna cum for me?”

She bit her lip, rolling her eyes. “If you keep– Just–”

“Gonna drench my cock, huh?” He nosed her neck, tickling her. “Gonna make a mess of it?”

“Yes!” And, true to her words, Ella came all over him, the stimulation from him hitting her g-spot and toying with her clit making her squirt all over him, drenching him and the sheets. And with that filthy sight Alex came right after her, his cum coating her walls as he continued pounding into her with messy thrusts.

“Fucking hell, you’re hot.”

The rhythm of his hips faltered as he continued riding out both of their climaxes, his finger slowing down on her clit until it stopped as she kept spasming around him. Her legs were shaking on his shoulders, so he let her let them down slowly after dropping a kiss on her calves and resting them on the bed.

Alex rubbed her thighs softly as he pulled out from her, hissing when he did just like Ella whined at the emptiness, wanting nothing but for him to be always inside her, he filled her up so good she thought she would soon become addicted to it.

He looked down at the mess on the sheets, his brain flashing the image of her squirting all over him as he watched his cum dripping out of her and staining the wet sheets. Alex groaned from the pits of his chest, hovering down over her again and mumbling against her lips, “I fucking adore you.”

She giggled, trying to see his face through half lidded eyes and hummed, “Adore you too.”

At the sight of her eyes closing, Alex got off the bed and swiftly carried her to the bathroom so they could get cleaned up. When he set her on the floor of his en-suite, she groaned loudly at the soreness of her legs and her cunt, Alex laughed in response.

Ella glared at him then, folding her arms as she watched him get towels from some shelves hidden in the corner of the room. “Don’t laugh, you’ve just folded me like a pretzel. I’m gonna be so sore.”

The comparison only made him laugh even harder and she pouted. “‘M sorry, but you enjoyed it.” He walked up to her and, after tossing the towels on a bench beside the glass doors that encased his shower, he enveloped her in a hug and dropped a sweet kiss on her lips.

He started walking towards the shower as they kissed, so she walked backwards until the cold glass made her hiss when it touched the warm skin of her back. He pulled back from the kiss and dropped two pecks on her before opening the glass door for them to get inside but when she turned, she managed to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Ella scoffed, “Gonna have the best time covering these up, thanks Alex.” Her neck was covered in lovebites and so was her chest, and when she let her gaze fall down to her thighs, she found the darkening bruises littered inside of them.

He looked at her through the mirror coming to press himself against her back, his arms wrapping around her middle and dipping to leave a trail of kisses up her neck until he reached her ear and whispered, “Didn’t hear you complaining when I left them.”

She rolled her eyes at him trying to act like his tricks weren’t working but her walls clenched around nothing in response. “Shut up.” She said before peeling his arms off her and walking into the shower first. He was gonna be the death of her.

Alex walked in after her and pulled her into him again by wrapping an arm around her waist, their chests pressed flush against each other this time and making her throw her arms around his neck. “You love me.” The singer mumbled against her lips in a reminder, the smirk that broke on his face only pushing Ella to tease him back.

“Do I?” She quipped back, cocking her head to the side and putting on a pretty convincing confused expression on her face.

His eyes turned mischievous as he said, “You do.” and then flicked the shower on making her gasp when the cold water fell over them as they stood right beneath the wide shower head.

“You’re such a little shit.” She hissed through her teeth before pushing him off her softly. She really didn’t want him away because the water still fell on them cold but she had to commit to the bit.

The singer giggled as he stumbled backwards but came back up to her seconds later, wrapping an arm around her waist again and cupping her jaw, tilting her head slightly so he could kiss her. It stupidly felt like kissing under the rain and suddenly Ella couldn’t be more excited for every first kiss they’d share in the future.

“You still love me though.” Alex chatted back when he broke the kiss.

And despite the roll of her eyes, a smile won over her pursed lips and she agreed, “I do love you.”

Alex hummed, “And I love you.”

Soon enough the spray of water grew warmer and they started to clean themselves up. Alex grabbed the new bottle of shampoo he’d gotten and started washing Ella’s hair, massaging her head softly and making her moan as his fingers dug perfectly into scalp. When he rinsed the shampoo fully off her hair, she took over the task of washing his and he also was a moaning mess as she took her time massaging his head. They soaped each other up delicately and slightly teasingly, hissing when they would poke at a particular tender spot the other had sucked on their skin, smirking when they’d taunt each other with a frisky touch like when Alex groped her tits with the excuse of properly cleaning her up and when she let her fingers inch closer and closer to his cock as she soaped up his lower stomach.

When they came out of the shower, after Ella had made him fuck her first when he got hard at her tantalising touch, Alex wrapped her in a towel and left her to dry her hair with another one while he wrapped his own towel around his waist and went back out into his room to get some clothes for them to wear.

A few minutes later, Alex walked back into the bathroom in just a pair of joggers and one of his shirts and a pair of boxers in hand for her. He gave Ella the clothes and left her to take her time as he went back to his bedroom and picked up the duvet and the bedsheets to take to the wash.

It didn’t take him long to put the bedding in the washing machine and when he came back he melted at the sight of her wearing his shirt and boxers and brushing her wet hair with her fingers.

He stepped into the room, walking back to the shelves in the corner to take out a comb and a hair dryer. “C’mere, I’ll do it for you.” He waved her over to the marble counter where two sinks stood beside each other, and he tapped on the space in the middle for her to sit on while he took care of her hair

She walked over to him and sat where he told her, the marble cold against her bare thighs making goosebumps break along the skin of the legs. He stood between her legs, brushing from the ends of her hair upwards, making her get down to properly brush the back of her head. He then plugged the hair dryer and started drying her hair, his fingers tenderly combing through her hair as the warm air dried it.

When he was done, Alex was quick to give her a peck so that she would open her eyes which had fluttered closed at the feeling of his fingers raking through her hair.

“Thank you, darling.” Ella said with a fake British accent, trying her best to mock him but clearly failing when he frowned at her advances.

“You’re welcome, babe.” Alex replied, retaliating by putting on a fake American accent so high pitched it made Ella wince.

She scoffed, swatting at his chest softly, “I don’t sound like that at all!”

The singer just shrugged, wanting to wind her up, “Are you sure?”

“Dickhead.” She bit back with her eyes narrowed, making him let out a loud laugh before he pulled her into a tight embrace that ended with them sharing a sweet kiss.

With one last peck on her cheek after he separated their lips with a smack, Alex went and unplugged the hair dryer and put it back in its place along with the comb. Walking back to where Ella still stood, leaning on the marble of the sinks, and interlocked their fingers to walk back into the room.

Seeing the bed bare of bedding made Ella’s cheeks heat up, knowing that it was all her doing that the sheets were fully ruined to use tonight. Alex looked at her and smiled at her bright red face, pecking her lips before reminding her that it had been the hottest thing that he’d ever seen and suggesting taking the bedding from one of the guest rooms to get her out of her head.

Walking over to the guest room, Ella chuckled out loud remembering how he’d promised her a house tour and she was only getting it after she’d ruined his sheets, not because he’d promised.

“You still owe me that house tour, you know?” She taunted him with a grin on her face.

He turned to the side to look at her and giggled when realizing what was going through her head, “Tomorrow after breakfast, I promise.” She hummed, knowing she’d hold him up to that.

But at the mention of food, she openly admitted she was hungry and he said he was too. So they went back to his kitchen, hand in hand, and made themselves a fast sandwich that they practically devoured in minutes, along with a few talls glasses of water when they realized just how parched their activities had left them. They quickly put everything away in the dishwasher and continued their quest for the bedding.

When they opened the door to the guest room, Ella marveled at the look of it. It was California rustic and so pretty, the wallpaper and the wood used around the room combined beautifully and she realized then she hadn’t even had the chance to appreciate Alex’s room. Too caught up in trying to finally have him all to herself in the many ways she’d dreamed about.

She made a point to take in every detail of his room when they came back to it with their arms full of white bedding. Compliments came from her about what she’d seen of the house so far as they struggled to put on the fitted sheet, they laughed when they messed up the way it went and when the corners wouldn’t stay on as they perfectly placed them at first. The scene was so domestic, her heart grew in sizes inside her chest. How could she be feeling this rumble of butterflies in her stomach from just making a bed with him? She was utterly and completely fucked, and instead of scaring her anymore, it just felt right and she reveled in it.

Once they managed to tackle the fitted sheet, everything else came easier and as soon as the duvet was perfectly placed, Alex ran up to the window to pull down the blackout curtains and once that was done, the two of them gracefully disheveled the tidy way they’d made the bed to get under the sheets and finally cuddle each other until they could rest.

This time it was Alex who lay on top of her, the side of his face pressed over her chest where he was starting to fall asleep, being lulled by the steady beating of her heart and her nails scratching lightly at his scalp.

They’d been lying in silence for about ten minutes when Ella whispered, “Love?”

Alex smiled brightly with his eyes closed, his heart leaping from his chest hearing her using that pet name for him, “Hmm?”

“Which one’s your favorite?” She asked, still being intrigued about so many things they’d yet to talk about.

But it seemed that Alex didn’t really know what she was talking about for he lifted his head up slightly to press his face on her tits and motorboated her lazily for a few seconds before he mumbled, “Both of them.”

A loud cackle came from her, piercing through the silence in the room as she shook her head, “You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m not lying.” He wholeheartedly promised while coming back to rest the side of his face on her chest.

She hummed, a snort coming from her as she tried to contain her laughter and when she managed to keep it at bay, she actually clarified for him, “Okay, good to know. But I meant which of my pictures is your favorite.”

A soft, “Ohhhhh…” came from him in realization. She laughed just as loudly and then he peeled his eyes open to look up at her with a conflicted look on his face, “You can’t just make me pick one.”

“Well, I am.” Ella challenged him. She wanted him to list every single picture he’d gotten himself off to but for now she could go to sleep just knowing which was the one.

Despite him acting like it was despicable for her to make him choose one, coming up with an answer was as easy as the ticking of five seconds on the clock, “That one of you on the motorbike. The one where you’re wearing that silver bikini and your cowboy boots and that hat.”

She frowned, trying to think about which picture it was and when she remembered the frame she’d posted long ago, she gasped, “Really?”

He nodded, still looking up at her, “Yes. Wrote Arabella ‘cause of that one.”

“Of course you did.” Ella chuckled and rolled her eyes at him. She would’ve never realized that the ‘Barbarella silver swimsuit’ line actually had to do directly with her too and it wasn’t just another one of Alex’s witty lyrics.

“I did.” He confirmed, smiling proudly at her, “No regrets. Though you never said anything about that one.”

She frowned and scoffed at him like he was crazy, “What did you want me to say? I thought that one was about Arielle until I heard the bridge!”

He closed his mouth and let a few beats of silence pass when he knew her excuse was valid, “Oh, well…”

Ella actually giggled loudly at his response, a shake of her head in disbelief and she called him out for his audacity, “You’re so annoying.”

“You love me.” Alex countered with the statement that he knew she would never actually deny.

She hummed with a foolish smile breaking on her face as she confirmed, “I do.”

“Say it again.” Alex breathlessly pleaded, his fingers coming to take a hold of her chin as he craned his neck to lean in closer to her.

There would never be a day she would pass on the opportunity to tell him, “I love you.”

His heart soared hearing those words, devotion written on his face when he stared into her hazel green eyes and whispered back, “I love you.”

Their exhaustion was wearing them out already and the languidness of their movements translated into a lazy kiss. But what lacked in energy, compensated with the sheer amount of sincerity and intent, wanting to let the other know with every kiss just how much of a love fool they’d made each other.

When he pulled back, Ella leaned back in to drop a handful more chaste kisses on his lips and after the sixth one, she couldn’t help herself about asking another question that was poking at her curiosity intensely, “Which other ones are about me? Other than Snap, you made that very clear.”

“Fireside, Do I Wanna Know?, Stop the World.” He listed quickly, knowing just what was his train of thought behind every song he’d written about her. “I made I Wanna Be Yours into a song because I wanted you to get the hint.”

She offered him a sweet pout and cooed at him, “Awh, sweetness.”

“That worked out well, didn’t it?” He added with a lighthearted sarcastic tone.

But she shook her head because it had been her fault too, not picking up on the obvious signs, “Sorry, I’m just a bit dense sometimes.”

Yet, he wouldn’t have her blaming herself for it when he knew he should have just spoken up, “S’alright. I should’ve just told you.”

Just to tease him, Ella nodded and agreed, “You really should’ve.” As if she hadn’t been keeping it hidden for far too long too.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes in amusement before smiling brightly, “Nice to be able to say it now.”

She nodded, thinking nothing else would ever compare to the feeling that flooded her when he said he loved her for the first time and it only got better and better the more he repeated it. The peace that she felt when she let those three words out was just as good, “It’s relieving.”

“I love you.” Alex told her, his eyes taking in every detail of her face as it lit up when hearing those words.

Ella brought her hand up to his face to cup his jaw and reciprocate sweetly, “I love you.”

One more kiss was shared, another one of those teeth-rottingly cute ones that left each other dazed. The heat of their bodies beneath the covers was making it harder for Alex to stay up so he broke the kiss and mumbled against her lips, “Right, darling. Close those pretty eyes of yours and go to sleep yeah? Long day tomorrow.” She’d fully distracted him from cleaning up the house and getting it ready, nevermind for the party but he’d been planning on tidying everything up for when she’d come over, if he’d actually had the chance to prepare the candlelit dinner for her.

“Hmm right.” Ella whispered back.

It was hard to know if the fact that everyone else was coming over the very next day was gonna make her want to sleep as soon as possible, dreading the exhaustion that evening would bring, or if it was gonna make her nervous enough to keep her eyes open for far longer than necessary.

All because Alex started rubbing circles on the skin of her thigh just as he let his eyes flutter closed and wished her, “Sweet dreams, darling.”

Seeing Alex’s face starting to melt into a blissful stupor, she forced her eyes closed and wished him back, “Sweet dreams, my love.”

It was impossible for him to keep that stupid smile off his face when she called him that, “I like the sound of that.”

She giggled, her cheeks heating up again. “Go to sleep.” She called him out, trying to bite back her smile to push herself into her slumber.

With the dark behind their eyelids being the only thing they could see then, it was impressive the way they found each other’s lips again and shared one more quick and soft kiss before they could actually succumb to their exhaustion. The foolish grins on their faces stuck there until they fell deep in sleep, arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled to keep the other as close as possible, not wanting to let go anytime soon.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The domesticity continued well into the following morning, after Alex woke Ella up with an attack of kisses all over her face which ended in them holding the other as they worked their ways to an orgasm, whispering sweet nothings and looking into each other’s eyes intently as pleasure washed over them.

Brushing their teeth together before changing the sheets yet again—this time bringing the freshly washed ones in Alex’s room and putting the one’s they’d borrowed from the guest room in the wash—, making breakfast together and getting comfortable on the settee to eat.

Ella’s legs were thrown over his lap and he was trying his best to keep one hand on her thigh, rubbing circles on her skin while they ate. The only sound that rumbled through the house was the consistent hum of the AC that kept the house cool, outside the sun was heating up the ground and the water that filled the pool; they broke the silence from time to time to hum when they had another bite of the scrambled eggs and sausage he’d made.

It was hard to imagine everything else was going by normally outside the walls of Alex’s house. It felt like they were stuck in their own little bubble and pure happiness simmered inside them, butterflies fluttering inside their stomachs and their smiles just stuck on their faces so their cheeks ached from how much they were smiling already despite it just barely being nine in the morning.

Alex already felt the need for this to be routine, for this to be his normal so with a soft squeeze to her bruised thigh, he let out, “I could get used to this, y’know.”

It was so easy to agree, when Ella felt so complete right there. Everything felt right, all worries had been stripped away from her and she felt light and carefree, like she was soaring and the only weight was the love that filled her heart and swelled it until it tripled in size. She hummed in agreement, “Mhmmm, me too.” But just to tease him, like she was growing to adore, she joked by tapping her fork on the almost empty plate, “This is so good.”

An eye roll was added there along with a soft moan so that she could emphasize how good she meant the food was and, even though she wasn’t lying, Alex still gasped aloud, mockingly insulted.

A string of giggles fell from her lips and she set the plate down on the coffee table next to her coffee cup to cup his face with both hands and promise, “I’m joking.” Ella pressed her lips over his, their eyes fluttering close at the feeling, and she pulled back softly after a few seconds to genuinely say, “This just feels so right.”

With a smile, he also set his plate down on the coffee table and settled back on the settee to look at her and admit, “You know, you actually beat me to it by a few hours.”

A soft frown appeared on her face as she brushed his hair back, “Beat you to it?”

He nodded and told her just what he’d been planning for her later that night, “Was gonna call you and invite you over for dinner. I’d bought some things earlier to make you your favorite pasta and a bunch of candles to set it all up outside by the pool.”

“Awh sweetness…” Ella cooed as she shuffled even closer to him, “You’re so fucking cute.”

Alex kissed the soft pout off her face and hummed into her mouth before pulling back and smirking, “It was gonna be really cute but then you surprised me instead.”

She shook her head in disbelief not only at the fact that she missed that but also of her own actions, “Can’t believe I ruined your cute little plan by barging in and going on a crying rant.”

But Alex couldn’t disagree more with her choice of words, “You didn’t ruin anything, darling.”

“It was...” Ella started, trailing off to think of a proper word to describe what that had been and when recalling it in her mind, she closed her eyes in painful embarrassment and concluded, “A whole mess.”

“Nah, I loved it.” Alex said wholeheartedly, cupping her jaw and rubbing soothing circles on her face to have her open her eyes, “Not seeing you cry though, that broke my heart.” Her words echoed inside his head and his brows furrowed as worry washed over his gaze, “Did you really think I was ever going for Alexa when I have you?”

She averted her gaze but she tutted softly and tilted her face so she’d look him in the eye again. Biting her tongue, she took a deep breath and her fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt before she mumbled, “Well if you’d read that article and seen all the shit people keep saying online then you’d know how I felt.”

“What article, love?” He’d no clue what she was referring to and if he could see it and get a link to it so he could send it to his PR team, he would do it in a heartbeat and ask them to do their best to take the bloody thing down. “Show it to me.”

Silently, Ella nodded and left him with a kiss on the settee to get her phone. She found it with ease as it was saved in Breana’s chat, and she held her breath when it loaded and showed on her screen. The stupid fucking article that had made her miserable for days. She had herself to blame for that too but she couldn’t not when that was going around social media and people took it like gospel.

Ella bit on her thumb when she sat down next to Alex and offered him the phone opened on the article. She watched attentively as he started reading and taking in every way his pursed lips twitched and his brows lifted and furrowed.

A loud scoff came from him when he read that last sentence and he shook his head, closing the tab and setting Ella’s phone down on the coffee table. “Utter wank.” That was all he could describe it as. And to completely clear things up, he explained, “We were chatting about you that morning, actually.”

“What?”

Alex grabbed her ankles and threw her legs over his lap again, wrapping an arm around her waist to bring her as close as he could to him before he could add, “Like I told you yesterday, she was there when I realized I love you. So when she heard that we were in New York and had just played a festival, she texted me and we met up. We were walking around smoking and I told her about the house and moving here and wanting to tell you and she gave me loads of ideas about how to tell you, the candlelit dinner being one of them.”

Ella’s mouth fell open agape at the information. She couldn’t believe not only had Alexa been there when he realized he was in love with her, she had given him ideas on how to finally tell her.

Her cheeks tinted bright pink and she let her head fall on Alex’s shoulder. He felt her shake her head and sigh heavily, “Ugh, fuck. I feel so stupid.”

Alex shook his head and rubbed up and down her legs to soothe her, “It’s all the media's fault and all those chatting shit online.” He got angrier when recalling all the idiotic implications written on that page, “Dunno what the fuck they’re going on about Cookie’s wedding either. Just a bunch of bollocks, that.”

Ella hummed as she took in the way he reacted to what he’d just read, his look of disdain when reading each sentence was imprinted in her mind. In a moment of utter sincerity, she started explaining what had gone through her head when reading the article, “It really just made me feel the same as 2012 when you went for Arielle after our date and I–,” it was hard to compare because it was a very different situation but the ugly feeling that had flooded her system was just the same only amplified tenfold, “I thought the worse and I didn’t want to be left broken like back then so I started overwhelming myself to just anticipate what was coming.”

Alex’s hand coming to hold hers and intertwine their fingers coaxed her out of her mind and she looked up at him with a sorrowful smile. He kissed the back of her hand and she said the last thing she wanted to ever utter about the matter, the one thing that had been haunting her the most, “I think what freaked me out the most was that last line. I had no idea you were engaged to her.”

“Never was.” Alex wholeheartedly said while still holding tightly onto her hand, “It’s just one of them things people take out of context. Must’ve told someone I wanted to marry her back when we were together and they probably went straight to the tabloids to exaggerate it and make it a piece of hot gossip.”

A faint, pathetic “Oh,” fell from her lips. She couldn’t keep his gaze because she felt embarrassed, she almost pulled her hand back but his touch was soothing and it was all she needed as she added, “My head was spinning. I thought if I already had no chance in ever coming close to the Alexa Chung then the history between you would make it entirely impossible to compare.”

With a pull to her hand, Alex made her look up again and once he could see those gorgeous eyes of hers, he shook his head, “That’s so far from the truth, darling.” Grabbing her other hand, he pulled her towards him so she shuffled and changed the position of her legs, coming to straddle him.

He cupped her face with both hands, watching every detail on her face adoringly, taking one of his hands up to her hair so he could rake through it with his fingers as he said, “No one comes even close when compared to you, Ella. You’ve been all I could ever think about for a while. Just the thought of you drives me mad. I’m all yours, I’ve always been.”

Silence fell around them as they took in each other’s expression. His face shined with devotion and her worried frown had melted into complete infatuation.

Cupping his face with her hands and softly rubbing circles on his jaw, she quietly asked, “Mine?”

“Yours.” Alex smiled brightly, an almost imperceptible nod made her fingers hold onto him the tiniest bit together.

It was as true a statement as her declaring, “I love you.”

And he knew. He felt it just the same, his heart beating in the same erratic pattern as hers, “I love you so much darling.”

She leaned in closer to him, breaths mixing together and their parted mouths ready to slot together and make the distance disappear between them, “I’m yours too, you know.”

His throat dried up at her words, it would take him time to realize this was actually real and not one of those dreams he had felt too crazy to lose himself in before.

“And for that I’m the luckiest man alive.”

They met in the middle to share yet another kiss that only assured for them to continue getting addicted to the taste of each other’s mouth. It was soft at first, deliberate and full of intent, but when his tongue brushed her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to welcome him in, it grew hungry and needy.

It was more than clear that they only had a few days to enjoy their bliss before he had to go on tour again. He’d shown her the schedule while they made breakfast and they knew once he left on the 2nd to tour festivals in Europe, they wouldn’t be able to see each other until he came back for three shows in different cities in California in August. And then he’d be off again. So it would be a little over a month that they’d be away from each other, and those three days they’d get would go by way faster than they’d need. It was just how time always treated them.

Therefore, they knew to take advantage of every minute they got with each other. To drink it all in and not take it for granted, to indulge in it all.

So it wasn’t surprising when his hands came to rest on her hips and he pressed her flush against his hips, he was already hard for her. A needy whine fell from her lips at the friction, his breath hitched in his throat when she rolled her hips, keeping her gaze on his to watch his face contorted in pleasure.

Alex threw his head back and rolled his eyes, “This is what you do to me.” Struggling to pick his head back up, he grabbed one of her hands and guided it between their bodies so her fingers could wrap over the bulge tenting his joggers. She squeezed softly and a groan rumbled through his chest, “One look at you and I’m fucking ruined.”

Her tongue poked between her lips to wet them as she looked down and continued stroking him through his clothes. Alex took in the view, her mouth agape and almost watering at the outline of his cock pressing against his joggers, her hand moving on him now more confidently as he tried swallowing his whimpers, her bruised thighs spread open and on each side of his legs.

“I mean, look at you.” He said raggedly, struggling to catch his breath. “Fuck.”

When Ella looked back up at him, she took in the way his chest flushed. He was still shirtless, and she’d been smirking all morning, shamelessly gawking at him. But now the pink hue his skin was turning contrasted with the dark red bruises she’d left on him the night before.

His breath grew heavier when she leaned in and kissed over the big bruise that adorned that sweet spot on the base of his throat, “Did a good job,” she said before licking up the side of his neck until she reached his earlobe, she bit it and tugged, letting it free after a pathetic whimper stumbled through his lips.

She leaned back slightly and stopped the movement of her hand on his cock, making him cry out at the loss of her consistent touch building on his pleasure.

Smirking, she whispered in his ear, “Wanna write my name all over you.”

Alex shuddered when her breath fanned on his skin as she made her way down his neck, only to start her abuse on his skin all over again, finding patches of pale skin in between the bruises that she felt the need to fix.

His hips bucked upwards when she bit on a bruise, the pain rippling through his body and turning it into eye watering pleasure that had him a mess of whispered profanities and her name as she went.

A broken moan came from him when she finished sucking a bruise over his heart and went straight back to dig her teeth on a patch of tender skin. “Awh baby.” Ella cooed when she straightened up and looked at his tear glazed eyes, “You okay? Want me to stop?”

She had started lifting herself off his lap when he shook his head eagerly, “No. Don’t.”

Alex pulled her back down on his lap, this time so her cunt was right over his hard length and she moaned when he used his firm hold to guide her into rolling her hips over him and his cock brushed her clit.

His brows furrowed in pleasure, a moan stuck on his throat, he managed out a shaky, “I need you.”

And Ella needed him too. She was wet and throbbing for him already, clenching around nothing and all she could think of was how good he stretched her out. She needed him inside her again. But she couldn’t help herself, pouncing on his lips with lust and an animalistic need that made her rock her hips at a quickening pace over him.

When his mouth went slack and he couldn’t kiss her back anymore, she took it as the cue to get off his lap and quickly undress. His shirt she’d been wearing was thrown behind the settee and the boxers she’d borrowed quickly followed.

Completely naked, Ella came to straddle him again. Alex’s hands fell on her waist and slowly trailed up until he could cup her breasts, fingers pinching each nipple and mouth parting in a silent gasp when her hands fell on his shoulders and she started rolling her drenched cunt over his clothed bulge.

“You’re gonna be the end of me.” Alex swore under his breath, her wetness already ruining his joggers. He could feel his own precum leaking and aiding in wetting the fabric along with her own slick.

Ella hummed, stopping her tantalizing movements to lift herself up and off his lap, enough for her to pull down the waistband of his joggers and his hard cock to spring out and brush against his lower stomach. They didn’t even think of getting them off him fully, halfway down his thighs was enough for them to carry on.

Her mouth watered at the sight, the hairs of his happy trail being wet by the salty arousal that leaked out of his tip. With nimble fingers, she grabbed his length and pumped him. Once, twice. Fuck. He was heavy, swollen in her hand.

Her thumb swiped the precum off him and brought it up to her mouth, sucking devotedly to memorize every detail of him.

How he shivered beneath her, how he tasted on her tongue, how he dug his nails in her skin to silently beg her to hold him again, how he looked as he panted and tried his best to go along the pace she set, the aroma of sex already lingering in the air surrounding them.

Every one of her senses was completely overcome by him, and she greedily wished for it to remain the same until she took her last breath.

“And you’ll be mine.” Ella reciprocated, hand coming down between their bodies to wrap around his cock again. No more time to waste anymore when the need for each other started to morph into an ache.

She took him and rubbed him up and down her folds, reveling in the way his face fell at the contact with her sopping cunt. The tip of his cock teased her entrance, and she concluded, “What a way to fucking go,” as she sank down on him.

Words struggled to come out of his mouth the more she swallowed him whole, “I love you–,” he started to say, just wanting to praise her for how good she was to him, how well she took him, but his thoughts melted into the puddle of pleasure she brought him and all he could do was curse under his breath when he bottomed out, “Oh fuck.”

Catching her breath with shallow inhales, Ella pressed her forehead against his and their lips brushed as she sighed, “All mine. Only mine.”

Their eyes rolled into the back of their skulls when she started rolling her hips, the angle heavenly and making them a mess of moans and whimpers.

“Feels so good baby.” Alex praised, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her as close as possible. Her pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest, his senses going haywire. Ella, Ella, Ella. It was just her, all his mind knew. His heart, body and soul shared the same knowledge. “You’re a fucking dream.”

She hummed, he felt so good inside her. Every roll of her hips meant his cock nudged against that spot inside her that drove her mad, and her clit pressed on him deliciously. She was delirious from the pleasure, “Love– fuckkkk. Love you.”

Stilling for one second, she stabilized on her knees and started moving up and down on his cock. The friction of him dragging in and out of her velvety walls made them gasp, she was making a mess of him.

A high pitched moan fell from her lips, straight into his open mouth when one of his hands smacked harshly against her ass. The sting of the spank dwindling into white heat that only made her mewl louder when she bounced back down on his cock.

“Again, please.”

Her wishes were his command, so he did it again. Reveling in the feeling of her walls clenching around him with every hit. Because she kept asking for more and more, her breaths growing shallow, her cries of pleasure getting louder and louder. He was sure he’d see the red print of his hand there with how hard and often he was spanking her.

His fingers dug harshly in the tender flesh of her ass, helping her glide up and down his cock. He looked down to watch how easy it was for her to take him over and over, “So good to me, darling. Fucking made for my cock, weren’t you?”

“Yes.” She gasped out in agreement, they fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. A delicious, brain-melting, toe-curling puzzle that brought her closer and closer to the edge.

Her hips got faster, thighs burning from the effort but she wasn’t relenting, not when she felt that coil in her lower stomach tightening with every stroke. The slaps of their slick covered skin meeting made her smirk, “We’re gonna make a mess here.”

The image of her squirting all over him the night before flashed through his mind, a guttural moan coming from him at the possibility of it happening again, “I don’t care.”

“Already wanna ruin your new furniture?” Ella giggled breathlessly.

He nodded, biting his bottom lip to muffle a loud moan when she picked up her pace. He was gonna spill inside her any second now if he didn’t focus on holding out until she could cum with him. His words came out strangled by the effort, “I’ll ruin every inch of this house with you.”

“Yeah? What are we ruining baby?” Her voice was molten lust that washed all over him, fingers digging harder into her flesh.

Every scene played in his mind like a film, his mouth moved quickly with each frame, “Gonna bend you over the kitchen counter, have you make a mess all over the marble. Have a feast of this sweet cunt on the dinner table. You’re gonna see how well you take it when I fuck you in front of that mirror in my room.” She dipped her face to suck a bruise on the skin right below his ear, “We– Oh fuckkkk…”

With those plush wet lips of hers she stole his thoughts, making him crumble into a blubbering mess as she marked him up.

She let go of the patch of skin with a pop, licking over it with her eager tongue. “Yeah? Promise?” She whined, needy and begging for him to already make all that reality.

“Promise baby.” He moaned in response, “Ella… Shit.” He couldn’t hold out any longer, he was so close and he knew she was too with the way her legs started trembling. He needed her to cum with him and to drench him again so he brought a hand down in between them and started rubbing quick circles on her clit.

A broken gasp fell from her mouth, he swallowed it with a quick wet kiss but she caught his wrist and pulled his hand away. “Don’t.” She knew exactly what he was trying to do. “We can’t just throw your settee in the washing machine.”

He was about to complain but those fucking hips of hers wouldn’t relent and he was losing grasp around reality and any sort of logic. His need for release took over and pressing a hand down on the settee while the other still clutched her tightly to his chest, he started bucking his hips up, every thrust more determined, meeting in the middle as she fucked herself on his cock.

“Shit, yes! Keep– Ohh!” Ella couldn’t even properly speak, she was almost drooling from how fucking good it felt, how fucking well he slammed his hips up into hers. One arm wrapped around his neck and the other making sure to keep a good grip on the back of the settee, she mewled into his mouth, “Like that. Like that. M’so close baby.”

“Cum with me darling.” Alex struggled to say, his words strained as he got closer and closer to his climax. His thighs started trembling but he did his best to continue, cursing as it took all of him not to stop, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

Her legs shook beside his hips, her hips stuttered as she tried to continue riding him. Panting into each other’s mouths, they came. Crying out each other’s name, holding onto the other for dear life as their minds went blank and their sight was overcome by nothingness except for the feeling of him twitching inside her and coating her walls with his cum.

Sloppily, they rode out their highs until Alex slumped back down on the settee with Ella, almost dead weight on top of him. Their heavy breaths sounded like blissful sighs with every exhale.

It was an unearthly feeling to have this all with each other at last. So fucking perfect, they weren’t fully conviced this wasn’t a dream.

Ella giggled when she opened her eyes and found him blissed out, eyes closed and trying to gather his bearings, “Mmm, that was so good.” Not only was the sex amazing, she felt fulfilled in every possible way, her soul was vibrating with joy. She felt whole.

“Match made in heaven.” Alex finally opened his eyes as he stated, wholeheartedly. He could fucking write it on stone.

With a raise of her brows, she teased, “Doubt this scene is anything worthy of holiness, sweets.”

Alex shook his head and took his time to look her up and down, his cock twitching inside her when seeing himself still buried deep inside her and their slick covered thighs. Her chest was flushed and heaving still, all those bruises looming on her made his mouth water as well as those tits of hers that he couldn’t help but cup softly. She looked at him expectantly with the prettiest smirk he’d ever seen, like she was trying not to show her amusement at the way her body had him hypnotized.

With that view, it was so easy for him to confirm, “Nothing’s near as divine as you are, love.”

She snorted out a laugh and shook her head, brushing the strands of hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead, “I’d say you’re just saying that to get lucky tonight but you’re balls deep inside me and I can already feel your cum dripping out of me.”

He laughed with her and stole a quick kiss that she delved in for a few seconds, breaking it to lift herself up and off him to clean themselves up before it all dripped and stained the settee. But her legs shook intensely and she wasn’t able to even hover above him enough for him to pull out.

With a kiss on her cheek, Alex mumbled, “I got you,” before he carefully stood up as he held her with one arm. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and held on so he could stand up without her slipping off his hold.

Step by step, slow and steady, he carried her and took her to the bathroom, there he carefully got inside the glass doors that surrounded the shower and carefully lifted her up and off him, and onto the floor.

Ella knew right then that every shower she took after he left would be lonely when she didn’t have him massaging her shoulders and her scalp, or when he wasn’t giggling with her as she molded his shampooed hair into odd hairstyles. She would miss the kisses he dropped on her face and her shoulders as the water rained over them, and how he’d intertwine their fingers when walking out of the shower.

“Our coffee is definitely cold by now.” Ella joked when he was plugging the blow dryer to help with her wet hair like he’d done the night before. She half wanted to put on her best puppy eyes and beg him to cancel so they could just go back to bed and cuddle instead of actually setting everything up to be ready for when everyone was meant to come around.

With a fresh set of sheets that they’d just taken out of the dryer, they took on making the guest room’s bed again as their first task. It felt easier this time, and even through the novelty of the scene, Ella felt content and fulfilled like she did when she was at home doing something she’d been doing her whole life. It felt so familiar and just right, her heart swelled in her chest.

When they went out to the back, Ella gasped at the sight of the pool. She could see the blue water catching the sun rays and glimmering beautifully against the pink tiles of the walls of the pool.

She had laughed when Alex ran back inside to bring out a box in which there was a High Green sign just like the one Matt had gotten and put up on the back of his house. Of course, Ella helped Alex put it up and they proudly appreciated how it looked against the tan paint that coated the walls of the house.

There was a big table outside surrounded by a handful of chairs that they moved to the left hand side of the sliding glass doors that gave way into the patio so Alex could set up the food there outside. Thankfully, the pool chairs were perfectly placed around one side of the pool, making the rest of the patio look spacious enough to house the amount of people Alex had invited.

But before they could cheer about having done everything rather quickly, and run back to his bedroom to do fuck all before they needed to get ready, Ella realized she’d come very much unprepared to Alex’s house. She was wearing a new set of his clothes, because hers had been the same she’d been wearing the previous day at work and long forgotten in a corner of his room.

It was about noon when she managed to peel herself off a clingy Alex who was trying to convince her to use one of his shirts and the same shorts she’d been wearing on Friday, but Ella had reminded him of the amount of love bites he’d left on her skin and how she would still need her makeup to cover it if she wasn’t gonna use something with more coverage than her jeans and one of his shirts.

Alex huffed but managed to make a deal with her, one that he didn’t really need to push hard at all for her to accept. There was no way in hell she’d pass on the opportunity of staying over and staying with him every single day until he had to leave.

Ella made it to her house in record time, considering the Saturday traffic and all, and she’d packed everything up in a rush. Her makeup, toiletries, whichever clothes she saw first and deemed okay—she’d gotten annoyed remembering she needed to go to work the last three days Alex had in LA, so she grabbed a handful of clothes to wear to the office—, her camera, underwear and those lingerie sets Katie had convinced her to buy back in April, as well as some things that she quickly plucked out of that fun little box she kept in the back of her wardrobe.

When she came back, Alex had already set all the drinks out on the kitchen island along with glasses for everyone to use. There were so many bottles, Ella actually didn’t know what to expect of the night but she smiled knowing they’d have a nice time.

On the kitchen counter laid many different containers with food: fruit bowls, charcuterie boards, loads of dips for the many crisps Alex had bought, a variety of precisely cut veggies to be dipped as well, brownies and cookies, cheese and crackers, bacon wrapped grilled shrimp, sushi rolls.

Ella’s mouth watered at the sight and she was about to steal a bite of the shrimp when Alex walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “I ordered us some actual food and it’s on its way.”

She smiled and turned in his hold, cupping his face and leaning in to mumble against his lips, “You just know the way to my heart don’t you, Turner?”

By the time the doorbell rang to announce the food was there, Ella had just finished setting her makeup bag and toiletries beside one of the sinks in his bathroom, her clothes were still inside her little carry-on case which Alex had brought into his walk-in closet the second they got to his room.

After eating the lovely chinese food he’d ordered, they made their way back to Alex’s room and he watched attentively as she started getting ready by doing her hair. His eyes followed every move of her hands and the way her lips pursed in concentration when she loosely curled strand after strand of hair until it looked voluminous and shiny. He grew more and more entranced as she put half of it up in a little bun and the rest brushed over her shoulders.

Ella dropped a kiss on his lips when she unplugged her curling iron and walked back into the walk-in closet to get the dress she’d chosen for the evening.

Since she couldn’t really show off her chest or her thighs thanks to the bruises Alex had sucked onto her skin, Ella had chosen a high neck, criss crossed back, long knitted black dress. It covered her whole chest and legs so she only had to worry about covering the love bites on her neck with lots of concealer and a heavy hand of translucent powder.

When Ella walked back into the room with the dress already on, Alex commented how rude it had been of her to change in another room. She’d laughed about it, deeming needy and horny, but he’d nodded and hugged her by the waist only to throw her onto bed and kiss all over her face. She couldn’t even fight the loving attack because if thrashed around too much, she’d ruin her hair entirely and she couldn’t be arsed to start working on it again.

Alex and his puppy eyes, and those lips she couldn’t resist, managed to convince her to cuddle him and kiss him for a few minutes before she could start doing her makeup.

Ella might’ve acted annoyed when she had been able to stand up and felt her hair all crazy, but she was more than happy when seeing him like that. Knowing that he just couldn’t get enough of her filled her insides with warmth.

Like a lost puppy, Alex followed her to the bathroom and he leaned against the door frame while watching her start working whatever magic she did with her makeup on her neck. He was all entranced, fully smitten and eyes glimmering with adoration, watching as she carefully applied products to her face and neck that he had no idea how they worked but she used in a way that just enhanced her beauty and completely hid away all the darkening bruises on her skin.

“Aren’t you gonna go get ready, sweets?” She asked softly, heavily focused on not messing up her eyeshadow as she applied mascara to her lashes, “You’ve been staring at me this whole time and you’re not even ready.”

He hummed, pushing himself off the door frame and walking slowly up to her, giving her time to put her mascara down and check on the mirror that it was alright.

“You’re so gorgeous, darling. I can’t stop looking at you.” He said as he hugged her from behind, kissing the side of her neck a handful of times before looking at her in the eye through the mirror, “Can’t blame me for getting distracted when this is my view.”

He watched as she rolled her eyes and her cheeks tinted even more pink than they already were from the powder blush she’d applied on the apples of her cheeks, “So smooth, Alexander.”

Tapping the backs of his hands softly which were resting on her waist, she waited for him to loosen his hold so she could turn around and rake her fingers through his hair, “Go change so I know if I need to cover up your neck or not.”

Looking up to see his own reflection in the mirror, he nodded knowing that she was right, and she’d taken most of her time covering her neck up than actually putting makeup on her face. So with a quick kiss, he dashed to his wardrobe and chose a simple outfit, a short sleeve red shirt that he made sure to button up as much as he could without feeling uncomfortable and black jeans.

She praised his speed when he came back to her all ready for the evening, and she waved him over towards her so she could cover up the hints of bruises that showed over the collar of his shirt. Her touch had made him melt under her fingertips, he kept letting out soft moans when she grabbed onto his neck to keep him steady as she blended the concealer to cover everything as best as she could.

Alex giggled when she pressed her brush over his neck after she dipped it in the translucent powder, and while she’d tried her best not to laugh, she couldn’t hold in her own giggles when he acted like a child being tickled.

“Can you not gel your hair tonight?” Ella fluttered her lashes as she asked, a soft pout on her lips that she’d painted a natural mauve color with some lipstick she had in her bag. He nodded, rolling his eyes like it was a burden to go along with what she was asking for. She poked his ribs and he jumped, making her cackle loudly before he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder to go back into the bedroom and throw her on the bed.

Ella knew what he was about to do so she clutched onto his wrists and held them away from her, “Don’t tickle me babe, I’m gonna mess my hair up.” And just because he’d seen how much time and effort it had taken, he nodded and leaned in to press a kiss on her lips and then moved to lay on bed, beside her.

Laying on his side, pressing his elbow on the mattress and his chin on the palm of his hand, he looked down at her lying on her back right next to him. She grabbed his free hand and started playing with his fingers, kissing each pad of his fingers and then making a fist to kiss each knuckle, finishing up by kissing the back of his hand and then opening it up to kiss his palm.

Once she was done with her kisses, she intertwined their fingers and Alex swore he could cry at her tenderness.

“Do you think they’ll know if we don’t tell them?” Alex asked after a few moments of silence.

“Breana might.” Ella knew her best friend would be suspicious about it since she’d been blowing up her phone earlier in the day and the director hadn’t known how to reply to her messages without lying so she just left them unopened. “She was the one who convinced me to tell you already, I was gonna wait ‘til today to see if you actually were gonna get with Alexa.”

The singer kissed his teeth and shook his head softly, “You silly thing.”

“I know.” Ella let out a breathy chuckle at her own stupidity, but changed the subject back to the main question, “Think it’d be fun to hide it for as long as we can and see if they suspect anything.”

He frowned, “But I wanna kiss you.”

“Me too but it’ll be fun.” Ella admitted with ease, and when she remembered something she had yet to tell him, she smirked, “And if you’re good, I’ll give you a reward.”

At that, Alex perked up: his eyes widened a little and his brows rose up on his face. He watched as her pupils dilated right before she cryptically explained, “Brought some things with me from home.”

Pure seduction was written on her face when she licked her lips and her teeth sank on her bottom lip, and that was enough to know exactly what she meant by it. “You can’t just say that to me right now.” He groaned, letting his head hang until it fell over her chest. He picked his head up in a second when her chest shook with laughter, “I swear I’ll call everyone and cancel, I don’t fucking care.”

She pursed her lips and shook her head, “Patience is a virtue.”

“But–“

“No buts. Thought you were gonna be good and listen.” She raised a brow in challenge.

Alex huffed at her clear invitation to defy her and see what that would bring, but he bit his tongue and went along with her game, “Alright, I’ll listen.”

Completely satisfied with his response, she smirked proudly again, “I know you will.”

The doorbell ringing startled them out of their bubble, Alex rose to his feet and pulled Ella up to stand with him by the hand he was still holding. Through the peephole, he managed to see a few of his friends and he opened the door with a smile, not letting go of Ella’s hand even under the questioning eyes.

Alex introduced them to Ella and she brightly smiled at them and reciprocated their niceties. She was trying not to chuckle at how hard it had been for Alex not to introduce her as his girlfriend, his awkward silence after saying her name out loud was comical. And it kept happening with each person that came through the door that he introduced to her, all of them expecting the title to be said after Alex lingered on his words instead of sounding resolute.

He was so cute.

Around five in the afternoon was when Jamie and Katie showed up, and at the sight of the first couple of the group to arrive, the pressure to keep their secret under wraps fell heavily on their shoulders.

It only got worse when Nick and Kelly got there and they asked when was it that Ella had gotten there and she’d struggled to answer; Alex had aided her by saying she’d gotten there early to help him around setting everything up and once that was out, Kelly was too focused on scolding Alex for not letting them know he needed help instead of lingering on Ella’s mishap.

Ella was probably on her second glass of wine when Miles came knocking on the front door. Alex had been knee deep in a conversation with Nick and some guy they knew from the city, and the music that came from the speakers he’d set up outside was a little too loud so he didn’t hear the doorbell ringing. Therefore, Ella was the one to go up to the front door and open it. In a blink of a second she was being squeezed tightly by Miles’ arms, swaying side to side and panicking about spilling her wine on Alex’s brand new wooden floorboards.

The scouser didn’t let her stray away from him for a second, not even when he went right into the kitchen and got himself a drink, topping off Ella’s until she squeaked at how much wine he wanted her to ingest.

When Ella walked out with Miles in hand, Alex raised his brows in amusement and excused himself from the conversation he’d been in. Only when Alex went for a hug did Miles let go of Ella and Alex laughed over the scouser’s shoulder when Ella sighed in relief. Still, even then, it seemed like Miles had been suffering withdrawals of their presence for he took the both of them around the party with him to greet everyone and start conversations.

There were no complaints to have though, Miles was a joker and he never failed at making Ella spill tears from how hard she’d laugh at the shit he’d say.

He was so distracting with his jokes and comments that Ella didn’t notice she’d drank her almost full glass of wine in just twenty minutes so she went back inside to get herself a drink of water and then a refill of her wine. Alex followed her inside and no one questioned it, it wasn’t like they didn’t behave like that all the time.

The singer smirked when seeing Ella taking sips of a glass of water as she leaned on her ass on the side of the kitchen island. He walked slowly towards her and caged her in her place by leaving his glass on the marble and placing each hand over the surface of it on each side of her hips.

She put her glass down behind her, lipstick stain on the rim of the glass that had him licking his lips in hunger. After having his mouth on her for twenty four hours, spending almost two hours now without kissing her once was agonizing. He was craving the feeling of her lips on his and he didn’t care if anyone could walk back into the house and find them.

But just as Alex was leaning in, the doorbell rang again and he slumped against her with a sorrowful sigh. A mocking laugh fell from her lips, she was enjoying seeing him slowly crumble away with need. It was hard for her too, lord knew she’d been itching to have her lips all over him for hours now, but it was funny seeing him suffer like that, so obvious.

Pressing her hands on his shoulders, she cocked her head and in an obnoxiously chipper tone, she instructed, “Go on. Be a good host.”

He wouldn’t let her have the pleasure of watching as he struggled to properly greet someone else, so he grabbed her wrist and pulled her along towards the front door.

The second the door opened, Alex and Ella’s faces lit up at the sight of who was standing there. “Zack!” They both said at the same time, but the photographer wasn’t alone and the stunning woman beside him smiled brightly at them as Zackery introduced her as Lola.

“Lola, nice to meet you, I’m Alex,” the singer said with that charming smile of his, turning to his side to add, “And this is Ella…”

Once again, Alex trailed off awkwardly and Zack knew exactly what was going on. He chuckled and added for Alex, “His girlfriend. Finally!”

Alex’s face fell, “How–”

Ella couldn’t help cackling at how naive he was toward his own failure at concealing the news, “Baby, you haven’t exactly been subtle about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the people you’ve introduced me to know I’m your girlfriend too.” She watched as Alex cocked his head, slightly embarrassed, so she turned to the photographer and pointed at him to warn, “But don’t tell anyone, Zack. We're trying to see how long it takes the lads and the girls to notice.”

“Are they all here yet?” Zack asked, enthused to introduce Lola to everyone. They’d only properly met a month before—he’d worked with her on a shoot about a year and a half before and they realized they had friends in common but their schedules never aligned—and gone on about three dates but he had a good feeling about her and he felt the need to introduce her into the friendship group as soon as possible.

Alex nodded, “Just Matt and Bre missing.”

“Right.” Zack shook his head, not surprised at all that the couple who lived closest was late.

But before the photographer could go on, Ella grabbed Lola’s hand and with a smile she said, “I’ll steal this gorgeous lady from you and I’m gonna introduce her to the girls!”

Katie and Kelly sat next to Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, on the pool chairs when Ella came back outside with Lola in tow. Turns out that Lola was a model—which didn’t shock anyone with how absolutely gorgeous she was—and she currently lived in New York, but was visiting LA for a modeling gig that she’d taken upon to have the excuse to see Zack again after he’d just left the big apple a little over a week before.

The sky was painted a beautiful pink and orange as the sun started to set when the girls were giggling and cooing like fools hearing the way her and Zack’s first date had gone like, but then their attention was caught by Alex and Zack coming back outside, followed by Matt and Breana.

Alex and Ella shared a knowing look then, it was now that it all properly started and Ella had to bite her tongue not to giggle like an idiot at the little secret she was meant to keep for a little longer. She thought that if no one was to call them out about it before they left, they’d come clean about it. Her heart jumped in her chest at the prospect of finally letting them all know.

When Matt and Breana finally incorporated the group, Ella knew she and Alex would have to try a little harder so they wouldn’t be too obvious. But that proved to be harder than they expected for they’d always been very touchy feely with each other.

At the start, keeping their hands to themselves had earned them a few looks and Kelly asking if they were alright. Ella had nodded and when the pregnant woman explained how odd it was to see them distancing themselves from the other, the director forced out a few giggles and excused herself as being a little too hot to be hugging Alex. That had proven futile when Katie then asked why she was so covered during a hot summer night, telling her she should’ve chosen a cute little sundress and even offering to take her to Bre and Matt’s so she could borrow a shorter, lighter dress.

So she and Alex started tentatively invading each other’s space more and more every passing minute, realizing just how foolish they’d always been when their behavior towards each other had always translated to something more. Ella let herself melt into him and Alex kept dropping kisses on her skin, they giggled into each other’s ears and fiddled with each other’s fingers as they spoke.

But there was something there, something out of the ordinary that everyone felt. It was palpable and the pair got multiple questioning looks throughout the night, all of which they ignored until Ella said she was gonna get another drink and Alex went along with her.

When they got back inside and into the kitchen, Alex caged her in against the marble of the kitchen island again. This time the wine that she’d been nursing and those whiskey and cokes Alex had been drinking made them a bit more careless about their actions and when they leaned in for a kiss, which exuded need from the second their lips touched, they lost all sense of logic.

Her hands came up to his face and her fingers carted through his hair only to tangle in the strands and pull on them. Alex moaned into her mouth as he pressed his hips forward into hers, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Jamie had been loud when calling out for the two of them, they definitely would’ve been caught prematurely.

Alex had basically thrown himself to the other side of the kitchen island and rubbed the back of his hand over his lips, as if he’d been drinking something and spilled down his chin, when Jamie got to the edge of the open plan kitchen. All the while, Ella had taken sudden interest in every label of each bottle that sat over the marble.

The guitarist knew something was going on, especially when he asked them if all was fine and their answers struggled to go past their lips.

So when Jamie went back outside with a new bottle of beer and a glass filled with rose for his wife, he made sure to tell everyone of his suspicions. Bless Zackery and Lola, they played along as the others threw theories around, nodding and humming as they indulged in the chat and trying their best to not expose the little secret Ella and Alex trusted them with.

“They’re together.” Jamie said entirely sure of his gut feeling, “They’ve gotta be.”

Matt scoffed, “How’d you know?”

The guitarist ignored his tone and explained, “You know the tension that’s always there when they’re together with us. It’s different now, I can’t really explain it but it is.” Katie hummed as she thought about it and actually agreed with him when she started connecting the dots.

The drummer once again, ever the skeptic, continued interrogating Jamie, “So what, you think they’ve been together since when?”

“I’d bet after Tennessee.” Nick smirked, actually believing Jamie could be onto something.

Jamie looked at the bassist and smirked back, “Me too.”

“No, ‘cos then Bre would know. Right babe?” Matt turned to his fiance to ask and she nodded.

“Mhm. And Ella hasn’t said anything.” The model fiddled with her fingers before actually continuing with why she sided with her fiance's logic, “She actually was struggling about her feelings towards him a few days ago.”

But that wasn’t enough to deter Nick, “I would still bet on it.”

Or Jamie, “Me too.”

“You would?” Matt asked, incredulously, and when the pair nodded, he shrugged, “Okay. A hundred quid they’re not together yet.”

“Fine.” Jamie agreed, a gallic shrug that matched his unbothered expression.

Nick seemed just as nonchalant, actually very smug about the agreement, “Helders, this is easy money.”

The drummer was set on his own logic though, so he scoffed and chatted back, “Easy money for me. They’re not together yet but I’m about to change that.”

Jamie and Nick snorted, “Okay, cupid.”

No one knew what exactly Matt was planning on doing to ‘change that’ but he put his plan to work as soon as Ella and Alex were back.

Matt basically let the pair join the conversation he’d started as a distraction for a few minutes before he asked Alex something random about the house. He made Alex take him to see what he was asking about, something about one of his guest rooms, and suggested Ella came along.

The whole group trying hard not to laugh at Matt’s incredibly improvised plan almost ruined his cover, but they managed to hold in their laughter until the three of them walked past the glass doors and back into the house.

“Ladies first,” Matt had said once they got to one of the guest rooms so that Ella would walk in first and, in a blink of an eye, Matt pushed Alex in without warning and slammed the door closed before loudly giving them notice, “You’re not coming out until I say so.”

Ella snorted when hearing that, because the doors locked from the inside so she was pretty sure he didn’t have a say at all in that, “Whatever that means.”

But at the opportunity to have each other alone, together for a little while, Ella and Alex took it and happily sat themselves at the edge of the bed.

Alex grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, a big calloused hand coming to hold her thigh as he sighed, “Finally some peace and quiet.”

“Matt did something right for once.” Ella joked a little louder so, if Matt was still out there, he’d listen to her taunting.

But Matt had decided to go back to the kitchen to wait after giving everyone a thumbs up outside through the glass. So he didn’t hear as Alex shook his head and corrected his girlfriend, “Nah, he already did once asking Breana to marry him. This is the second time.”

Ella hummed in agreement, “That’s right.”

Alex didn’t let another second go to kiss her again, his hand cupping her jaw harshly as his lips intently moved with hers. His tongue slipped past her parted lips and licked into her mouth, moaning when he tasted the red wine she’d been drinking all afternoon. A giggle came from her at his desperation, but he continued making it known with the way his hands started roaming down her body, groping her tits through her dress and stealing the oxygen from her lungs further when he pinched her nipples with his nimble fingers.

Before she could lose herself in him entirely, Ella pulled away and grabbed his wrists as she tutted, “Uh-uh.”

“But–” Alex was quick to try and fight, his wet lips falling into a pout.

She fought the urge to kiss it away and joked, “You can do this, babe. I believe in you.”

“You’re a cruel tease.” Alex groaned, letting his head fall on her shoulder.

“You better get used to it.” Ella replied while bringing her fingers to his head, scratching his scalp softly and making him moan.

He dropped a kiss on the side of her neck and she could feel his smirk against her skin as he said, “Not going anywhere, are you?”

Pulling his hair, she made him come out of his hiding place and look at her, “Do you want me to?”

The shake of his head was decisive, just like his words, “Absolutely not.”

The sweetness that coated her tone as she easily said, “Well I wasn’t planning to,” made Alex fall back onto her lips.

This time, it was sweeter. The I love yous they had shared in the past day all said wordlessly though the movement of their mouths on each other’s. Gracefully stealing each other’s breath and melting into each other’s touch. It was heavenly, and it meant so much more now that they knew how devoted and entirely crazy they were about each other.

The memory of the last time they’d been forced into a room for minutes made her smile like a fool, leaving Alex to kiss her teeth twice before she pulled back, “Have you noticed how stupid we’ve been all along?” She wondered how different everything would’ve been if she’d just told him she liked him back then, because she knew she did.

Alex snorted, “Yeah. Think we came to that conclusion last night, didn’t we?”

“Hmm, yeah.” She agreed, but she realized that very afternoon how oblivious they had been to their own behavior towards each other, how everyone had been right all along, “We’ve always acted like this though, just never kissed.”

“Or shagged.” Alex smirked.

“Or shagged.” She repeated with a smirk of her own tugging at the corners of her mouth. “The girls were right.”

“About what?”

She knew then she had loads of things to tell him, “How we really shouldn’t have called this just a friendship.”

He hummed, understanding what she meant, “There’s always been more.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” She declared, eyes filled with devotion as she stared at his pretty face.

Yet, there was still a lot of regret that settled in the pit of his stomach when he thought about it so he admitted, “There were some things I shouldn’t have done.”

Ella shook her head, knowing that he’d keep on haunting himself with guilt that he needed to shed off him already, she had forgiven all of his wrongs a long time ago. Rubbing soothing circled on his jaw, she whispered, “But it got us here, sweets. And that’s all that matters.”

“I fucking love you.” Alex mumbled against her lips, eyes fluttering close at their proximity.

Puckering her lips, she dropped a chaste kiss on his mouth before reciprocating with ease, “I fucking love you too.”

Loving him was second nature, it just happened and she wouldn’t ever forget because she just did. Alex felt just the same, and he could prove it with the way their lips slotted together perfectly, how right it felt to be held by her as they kissed and how his body couldn’t stop responding to her touch and her presence all over him with soft moans and gasps, the twitch of his cock in his jeans, the buzzing of every nerve ending in his body.

When their lungs burned and they needed to pull back to catch their breath, they just hugged with the biggest grins on their faces. All their worries about distance and the uncertainty of the future disappeared when the constant of their love was so strong and they felt it seeping through their pores.

But they couldn’t revel in the feeling for long since Matt burst through the door and startled them. “Fucking hell!” Alex cursed loudly as Ella clutched a hand over her chest and she tried to regain her breath.

Matt ignored them entirely and rose his brows to question a vague, “So?”

“So, what?” Alex bit back with annoyance written all over his face.

“Did you–” Matt started this time, but ended his sentence with more vagueness, “You know.”

Ella frowned, pursing her lips before chatting back, “Erm… We don’t know, actually.”

“Fucks sake.” The drummer rubbed his face in frustration, “This was my attempt to get you talking…”

Still completely confused, Alex asked, “About what?”

What the pair, who were still hugging, didn’t expect was for Matt to rid off his vagueness and spout out, “About how you’ve been wanting to fuck each other since 2011?”

“Woah, mate,” Alex said at the same time as Ella gasped, “Matt, Jesus Christ!”

Matt scoffed for the millionth time that evening, “Oh, don’t you two start fucking lying. Alex, I caught you–“

Alex knew what he was about to say and though Ella knew already, somehow, he still didn’t want Matt saying that aloud, so he interrupted before Matt could ruin the moment further, “We were talking…”

Ella knew by the way Alex squeezed her thigh that this was it so she smiled brightly as she started, “Yes. I was talking… to my boyfriend.”

It was Matt’s turn to loudly gasp, “What?! Wait, what? That quick?!”

Trying not to burst out laughing, Alex nodded, “Erm, well. You’re only,” he checked the watch that adorned his wrist and finished, “About a day late mate.”

“Fuck off.” The drummer let out in disbelief, “You’re joking.”

Ella shook her head and proudly denied, “We’re not.”

“Really?!” Matt made sure to ask again.

Alex and Ella nodded.

And again, “You’re not taking the piss?”

Ella rolled her eyes and mockingly suggested, “Do you want me to shag him in front of you for proof, Helders?”

Matt gagged loudly then, “God, no. No. Absolutely not.”

The director hummed, “Yeah, thought so.”

With despair, Matt sighed and rubbed his face again, knowing what this meant, “You’ve just made me lose a bet against Jamie and Nick, you insufferable cunts.”

Alex snorted at the clear pain in his voice, he couldn’t not ask, “How much?”

Matt replied with the meekest tone and the most irritated expression on his face, “A hundred quid. Each.”

Ella couldn’t hold back the loud cackle that rumbled through her, contagious as Alex laughed beside her, “What a shame, Matthew.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes knowing they had no pity for him. And then he properly looked at them and saw how close they were, so he grimaced, “God, I regret locking you in here now. Ugh!”

Alex’s brows rose and he reminded his best mate, “S’my house.”

But the drummer ignored his words as he was lost in his head. He shuddered and shared one of his thoughts out loud, “I don’t even know if you’re gonna be worse now or not. Honestly, I'm scared.”

Ella let out another cackle and narrowed her eyes at him, “Shut up, you drama queen!”

“Does Bre know already?” Matt asked, thinking for a second that maybe his fiance had been in it all along and hadn’t said anything to see him suffer over losing a bet, like the tease she was.

But when Ella seriously answered, “No.”

Matt smirked, “Oh, she’s gonna kill you,” and dashed out of the room.

“Matt, no!” Ella yelled out for him but he was long gone. She let her head fall back onto Alex’s shoulder and she sighed, “I hate him.”

“I know.” Alex said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “At least they know now. Can kiss you all I want.”

“Yeah you can.” Ella perked up and sat back up straight, her gaze falling to her boyfriend’s lips and stealing a long sweet kiss before she stood up and called, “Let’s go. But you’re gonna have to hold me back so I don’t commit a crime.”

Alex grinned brightly, “Of course, darling.”

She offered her hand to help him up and he took it, intertwining their fingers as he stood up beside her and once he was on his feet, she started walking towards the door with him following closely behind.

“Hey.” Alex said before they crossed the threshold of the room, tugging on her hand so she turned and crashed against his chest.

Breathless, she looked into his eyes, “Yeah?”

“I love you.” He said quietly, just for her to hear before they could go out and be disturbed by the million questions he knew everyone would ask.

Ella blushed as she smiled at him, her stomach doing somersaults in response to how adorable he was, “You’re so fucking cute.” She kissed him again before mumbling back, “Love you too.”

Apparently, once they walked through the sliding glass doors, the news had spread like wildfire and everyone was gasping and hollering seeing them hand in hand on their way towards the group.

Ella caught the look on Breana’s face in a second, knowing exactly what was going through her head. So she tried to warn her best friend with a, “Don’t–”

That was cut short when Bre said exactly what she’d been thinking, “I told you so.”

“And she said it.” Ella sighed in defeat, earning the laugh of everyone around as well as questions about what she meant by that which Ella quieted down by promising to tell them in a bit.

As they watched Matt grumpily take out the cash from his wallet and handing their respective amount to Nick and Jamie, Miles hugged the new couple and congratulated them for finally realizing how in love they were with each other. Everyone gasped when Alex and Ella thanked Zack and Lola for keeping it hush for a few hours. And the new couple laughed loudly when Zack countered their surprise by calling them out on being too slow to notice what was obviously there.

Now that they could kiss and properly act like a couple, the party felt far sweeter. They went around the party, chatting and meeting more of Alex’s friends, laughing and sharing stories with everyone. The music got a bit louder, and the drinks flowed easier and faster, as well as the food which became more and more scarce as the time passed.

When Josh got there, it was hilarious to hear him yell, “Finally!” when he walked outside and the first thing Matt uttered was that Alex and Ella were together.

It truly felt like they were all celebrating the fact that they’d gotten together at that point and it only made the two of them more and more elated.

When Alex had gone to get Ella another glass of wine, she’d walked over to the speaker and queued up You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac to play next. Just in time for it to start playing, Alex walked back outside and found a smiley Ella staring at him expectantly, waving him over towards her with a cheeky grin.

Matt heard the harmonies loudly coming out of the speakers and he was about to complain about Ella choosing a song she knew he very much didn’t like when turned around and saw her starting to sing along, directing every word to Alex.

She walked to the beat of the song, meeting Alex in the middle as he made his way towards her. He was completely entranced by the way she looked, staring at her adoringly as she swayed her hips to the staring beat of the song.

Plucking the wine glass from his hand so he had a free hand to hold her, her arms flew around his neck and he swiftly wrapped his around her waist, swaying with her as she sang the lyrics out to him.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do / Oh, can it be so / This feeling follows me wherever I go

She continued to sing with a massive smile on her face. She let her head hang back and then came back close to his face with her eyes open and sparkling with love.She pecked his lips quickly, leaving him dazed like she always did when she kissed him, and he swore he had never felt more adoration for someone before. It felt like his chest was about to burst, warmth tickling every inch of him, his lips itching to kiss her properly, his body burning to adore her over and over.

I never did believe in miracles / But I've a feeling it's time to try / I never did believe in the ways of magic / But I'm beginning to wonder why

Her hands went to cup his jaw as she sang the chorus again, staring right into his eyes. They were far too preoccupied with enjoying each other that they hadn’t noticed all eyes on them. She swayed her hips as he held her close and when she’d brought her arms up in the air in pure elation, he had grabbed one of her hands to twirl her around twice and then pull her back into her chest.

Don't, don't break the spell / It would be different and you know it will / You, you make loving fun / And I don't have to tell you but you're the only one

She sang that softly against his lips, Alex stole a kiss that he’d wanted to deepen but she broke it when she leaned back not wanting to miss singing the last bit of the song. Yes, she loved the song but she wanted him to know how hard she’d fallen for him and since she couldn’t do it with her own words, she’d do it with a song.

You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do

Alex held her close, hiding his face in the crook of her neck leaving pecks all over the skin he had available and making her giggle as the song died down. He squeezed her waist as he pulled back up to look her in the eyes and she brought her hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Some other song started playing in the background but they were entranced with their gazes swimming all around each other’s faces, taking in each other under the golden haze of the patio’s lights.

“I love you so much, darling.” Alex was the first to break their silence and she was so glad his hold was tight around her waist because she felt her knees go weak when she heard him say that yet again. The alcohol in her system made her so much more sensible to everything that she now had with him and she could just collapse on the floor from the amount of love she felt for him.

One of her hands came to hold his neck and breathlessly she reciprocated, “I love you more, sweetness.”

Alex shook his head as he leaned in. “Impossible,” he muttered before catching her lips, both of them sighing in relief at the feeling of their lips together again.

Ella’s fingers pressed around his neck, making him blissfully hum in response. Her tongue teased his bottom lip, and he obeyed the silent indication to open his mouth. They swallowed each other’s soft moans when they tasted the alcohol on each other’s tongues, Alex bringing her in closer to his front, tightening his hold on her waist. He held back from the need to squeeze her ass and buck his hips forwards. He wanted her so badly, he needed her right there and then.

“Please tell me it’s an incredibly great idea to kick everyone out right now.” He begged, out of breath after they broke the kiss to get some oxygen back in their lungs.

She chuckled against his lips and shook her head, pulling back a little more to brush his hair back and then let her fingers trail delicately down his pretty face. She knew exactly what he was feeling, because it burned her too but waiting a bit longer, until everyone left, would make it all taste and feel much sweeter.

“It isn’t, love.” She disagreed, a smile on her face from her attempt at trying not to laugh at his despaired face.

His hold on her waist tightened as he pushed his hips forwards subtly, or at least he hoped because he couldn’t help himself. Ella swallowed a moan by biting harshly on her bottom lip, she could feel him starting to get hard and it was all very tempting, especially the tone in his voice when he argued, “But–”

But Ella held the best she could onto her logic and tutted as she remembered what was waiting for them if he pulled through with his promise of behaving tonight, “Good things come to those who wait.”

The reminder of her earlier words were enough for Alex to swallow his pain and bury the hunger she could only satiate for a little longer. He’d do anything she asked for, especially when it promised her to make him all hers afterwards.

It only took a few minutes for Ella to be snatched away by the girls and Alex to be left to fend for himself with the lads. It seemed like after that show of pda, everyone had loads of questions and a separate interrogation for the both of them couldn’t wait more than a few minutes.

Alex tried his best to answer the questions the guys were asking him but he was too distracted by watching Ella sitting on one of the pool chairs, surrounded by the girls, blushing and giggling and covering her face as they scooped everything out of her, question by question.

The faint sound of the doorbell was the perfect excuse for Alex to escape his nosy friends, so he excused himself in a split second to walk back inside and open the front door.

“You’re here!” He greeted with a smile when he opened the door and found Alex standing there, “Hi!”

“Al! Hello!” Her tone was chipper as she greeted him. A whistle came from her when she took a look around his new place, she complimented, “This house is stunning.”

“Ah thank you, thank you.” Alex replied with a soft grin, waving her over to the left side of the room where the gorgeous kitchen was set, “Come in, there’s drinks in the kitchen.”

As Alexa walked in and approached the bottles set on the kitchen island, Alex couldn’t stop himself from eagerly telling her that Ella was there and he was going to get her so she could meet her.

Alexa nodded excitedly, joking about him taking his time because she was indecisive and there were too many types of alcohol to choose from.

The singer wasted no time walking back outside and slowly approaching the group of girls. Leaning in behind Ella, he interrupted the conversation as he kissed her cheek and said, “Love?”

Ella smiled like an idiot and mumbled, “Sweetness?”

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Alex said vaguely.

A spark of curiosity lit up inside her as she let out a soft, “Oh?” So it wasn’t long that it took her to excuse herself and hold Alex’s hand as he guided her back inside the house.

When they crossed the living room and walked past the edge of the kitchen, Ella was shocked to see Alexa standing in the kitchen.

The quiet, “Oh,” that Ella let out made Alexa look up from her glass she’d just filled with white wine.

“Hi!” The model said excitedly, that bright smile of hers reaching her eyes as they crinkle around the edges in such an endearing way. “I’m Alexa, nice to finally meet you!”

Ella was breathless but she reciprocated the enthusiastic sentiment, “Hi! Nice to meet you too.”

Alexa went for a quick hug that Ella welcomed and when the model pulled back, she gasped, “You’re even prettier in person, bloody hell.”

“Oh stop it.” Ella blushed hard when Alexa said that. Ella had just been breathless over the fact that she was even more perfect in person, as if that was humanly possible. When seeing Ella struggle to find her words, Alex wrapped an arm around her waist and giggled, dropping a kiss on her cheek, bringing her back to reality with the feeling of his lips on her skin. Ella smiled and told Alexa, “I was about to say that about you.”

“Ah, you’re too kind.” Alexa said like she didn’t hear that on the daily, waving Ella off jokingly. The model smirked then, seeing Alex’s hold on Ella’s waist, taking it as a sign that it had finally happened, “So… he finally told you?”

Ella giggled pathetically, melting into his chest and nodded, “He did, yeah.”

Alexa cooed, placing her hands over her heart, “You two look adorable together. So happy for you guys.”

Alex hummed, “Thank you ‘Lexa.”

Going back to get her glass, Alexa took a sip and told Ella with a funny look on her face, “Gave him quite a pep talk in New York last week about it. He was just wasting precious time, wasn’t he?”

Ella’s stomach flipped at the mention of New York, this time with embarrassment rather than dread. She cocked her head to the side and pouted at the mention, “Ah, I think we were both making that mistake.”

Alexa cooed again like it all was a cute little tv show drama that now had reached its happy ending. She raised her glass as if making a toast, “Well, no point in dwelling in the past now that you’re finally together.”

“That’s very true.” Ella agreed, raising her own glass and smiling when Alexa got closer to clink them.

After another leisurely sip of her white wine, she inquired keenly, “Did he tell you about my request for a photoshoot?”

“Oh yeah, he did!” Ella smiled as she nodded, still cozied up in Alex’s arms. “Just let me know when and we can plan something, brainstorm ideas for concepts and play around with what we come up with.”

“Sounds amazing. I’ll definitely let you know when I get a hold of my schedule.” Alexa promised. A smirk came to her face when she knew what she could say to take the piss out of Alex who was just silently witnessing the conversation, “Though I would cancel anything for you to make me look as good as you do in those pictures.” She whispered loudly on purpose, and winked when she added, “He showed me his favorite ones.”

Ella couldn’t help blushing, but a smirk broke on her face as well. She squirmed in Alex’s hold, purposely brushing her ass on his front, she heard him hiss in her ear as she said, “Has he? You’ll have to let me know which ones are they ‘cause he has yet to tell me.”

“That’s just plain rude of you Alex.” Alexa scolded playfully with a faux frown on her face.

Ella shook her head and shrugged, “Seems like he doesn’t want any new ones.”

Alexa laughed loudly when Alex’s face fell at Ella’s words. He scoffed and pinched her waist, making his girlfriend yelp before he scolded, “Can’t believe you’ve met her a second and already teaming up against me.”

“Hmm I love her.” Alexa stated, snatching Ella away from his hold to throw her arm over Ella’s shoulders. She started walking away with Ella beside her, Alex calling her out for stealing his girlfriend behind them. When they walked out of the kitchen, Alexa gasped, noticing the amount of people outside, “Bloody hell. There’s loads of people here! Where are the girls? And where’s that menace of a Scouser? Is he here yet?”

Ella chuckled at the mention of Miles, “Yeah. He’s out by the pool, probably trying to throw Matt and Nick in.” He’d been joking about doing it since he arrived, so she had no doubt he would still be trying to find the perfect moment to do it.

“Oh I’m sure I can push him in without him noticing.” Alexa smirked, shedding herself off Ella’s side to give her and Alex a moment alone and calling out a “See you around!” before walking outside.

“That went better than I expected.” Ella thought out loud.

“Of course it did.” Alex said as he walked up behind her, kissing her temple when he was pressed against her back. “No one can’t just not fall in love with you as soon as they meet you.”

A string of giggles fell from Ella’s lips as she turned around to face him, her arms wrapping around his neck, she cocked her head to the side and teased, “Speaking from experience?”

“Definitely.”

Her laugh was cut short as he pressed his lips against hers, her amusement being swallowed by the way he eagerly licked into her mouth. Her fingers tangled into his hair and she pulled harshly on it when his hands fell from her waist to her ass, cupping it before harshly kneading it with greedy fingers.

She moaned into his mouth and he gracefully swallowed the sound before pulling back and declaring, “I love you.”

After stealing a little peck from his lips, she replied, “Love you more.”

But Alex shook his head in disapproval, and Ella knew just what he was about to say. So before he could deny her words by swearing it was ‘impossible’, she kissed him hard and eager, successfully leaving him stupefied when she pulled back to scorn him.

“Stop it before we actually fight over that.” He opened his mouth to speak but she glared at him and that look was the only thing it took for him to keep the words to himself. She sighed, “Looks like I’m actually gagging you tonight.”

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After the housewarming party, the band had four more days in Los Angeles before they had to leave.

Since Ella had kept her word on Saturday night and rewarded Alex in ways he could have only dreamed of, the two of them woke up rather late on Sunday morning. They would’ve kept sleeping if it wasn’t for the fact that their friends were blowing up their phones and it had gotten so obnoxiously incessant that they had ended up having to answer one of their million calls.

It was Katie, the one calling this time, and she wanted them to join them for a trip to the beach and then out for drinks later in the night. They all knew Ella had to go to work on Monday and every day that followed until the band had to leave so they had to take advantage of the only full day they all had together to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Knowing how long it’d be until she could see everyone again, Ella accepted in a heartbeat and her own enthusiasm was what finally got Alex up from bed.

She certainly didn’t regret agreeing to it when they all had the loveliest day at Manhattan beach, laughing and having drinks, taking pictures and running in and out of the water. She and Alex had been teased endlessly for the amount of love bites littered all over their bodies and the little marks and bruises in other parts of their bodies from things their friends didn’t even want to know about.

“You animals.” Nick had said when noticing the bruises on Ella’s ankles and the faint marks on Alex’s cheeks, which the bassist could guess what they were since he’d been complaining about his jaw aching here and there.

Later that night, after they all went back to their respective houses and hotel rooms, they met back up at a karaoke bar where they had way too much fun in just the few hours they managed to stay there. They had all begrudgingly left the place when it closed at two in the morning, pouting about the fun time being over way too soon.

It had been horrendously difficult for Ella to wake up on Monday when her alarm ripped her off her peaceful slumber. Alex’s arms around her waist and his legs tangled with hers tempted her to stay in bed but when she remembered all that she had to start that week at work, she knew she had to force herself out of bed as soon as she could.

When she was ready for the day, after making herself and Alex a quick breakfast that she left there for him, she went back to his room and kissed him goodbye. He had been half asleep still, but when he woke up without her next to him, he knew he hadn’t been dreaming. After he got ready for the day, he found the breakfast she’d made him and he’d sent her a horrendously cringe and clingy string of texts that she giggled about when she saw them at work.

That afternoon, she’d been surprised to come back to his house and walk into the completely blacked out house which was decorated with a path of candles and rose petals that she followed out and found the cutest little set up for that candlelit dinner he owed her.

She enjoyed it thoroughly, complimenting him over and over for how good it was and how well he’d done making her favorite dish. And when dinner was over, and they were finally in bed, she made sure to let him know just how much she’d appreciated it by using her mouth and her spit coated hand to bring him pleasure, whispering sweet nothings and telling him just how much in love she was with him over and over until he came all over her face.

Tuesday morning had brought even more of a challenge for her to wake up. She was too content in Alex’s arms and she had no intention of moving so she kept snoozing her alarm, time and time again, somehow managing to go back into deep slumber after every ring of her phone.

But Alex had woken up around the fourth time she did that, and despite him shaking her and whispering her name to get her to wake up, she continued softly breathing in and out, not peeling her eyes open for a thing.

He watched the time on the screen of her phone when the alarm rang again, and instead of snoozing it, he fully just turned it off and took it upon himself to wake her up. So he started kissing all over her face, down her neck and her clothed chest and abdomen but it wasn’t until he got to kissing her inner thighs that she started waking up.

Waking up with his lips burning a trail down her body assured for her to blink herself awake with need buzzing through every one of ehr nerve endings, pleasure dripped down her spine in white heat that ran down straight between her legs.

He stopped when he saw her open her eyes, knowing his plan had worked. But Ella cradled the back of his head and pouted, spreading her legs open and wordlessly coaxing him to continue and to go all the way because there was no way she’d be getting out of that bed without having his mouth lapping at her cunt like a starving man until she came.

That was the reason why she’d been late to work that day and after being distracted the whole time she was in the office, her brain filled with the memory of his head between her thighs and his tongue working her up to her orgasm, Ella knew she had to ask for the following day off to properly enjoy Alex’s last day in Los Angeles.

Her plans for Wednesday had been less lewd. They had both slept in, heavenly giving into their laziness and staying in bed for far longer than necessary. She’d woken him up when it got closer to midday by peppering kisses all over him and then coaxed him out of bed to the kitchen where she made breakfast as he watched.

Then, they both got ready for the rest of the day with a shower—which they definitely elongated as they got lost in each other’s touch and ended up with Alex pounding into Ella from behind against the glass walls of the shower—and once they changed, they rushed out the door to make their way to Los Feliz and catch the early day screenings at the theater to have the whole place to themselves. It was their first proper date to Los Feliz now that they were official and Ella had been skipping down the pavement and swinging their interlocked hands as they went around the boulevard.

A pout had made its way to her face when it was time to go back home, Alex had offered to drive and he’d kept a hand on her thigh and asked her to play her music so they could sing along together. He didn’t want to see her sad yet, even though his heart was breaking little by little as the clock's needles moved forward and closer to the time he had to leave for the airport.

Once back at Alex’s, the both of them started packing. Alex packed to leave for Europe to resume the tour and Ella to go back home now that Alex was leaving LA.

When Alex went to the bathroom to get a few of his things, he quickly realized just how much he loved seeing their things scattered around in the same space and knew it was far too soon but how could he not think about her moving in when all he wanted at that very moment was for them to be together all day, every day.

So, hours later, when they were ready to go and leave to the airport, Alex gave her one of the keys to his house.

Ella was slightly shocked so the soft, “Why?” slipped past her lips without her wanting to.

“So you can come and go as you please.” Alex replied with a sweet smile on his face, his voice so soft it felt like a caress in her ears.

“Alex,” she whined softly. Yes, it was way too soon, they hadn’t even been together for a full week by then but she really wanted to keep it. But it wasn’t that the reason why she complained, it was because she didn’t know if she could take the reminder that he wasn’t gonna be there for weeks.

“Someone’s gotta enjoy the pool.” Alex joked to soothe her, recognizing the despair that shined through her eyes, it was burning him inside.

She snorted, “That’s actually tempting.”

“I know it is. Fucking hundred degrees out here darling.”

Ella hummed, a blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks, her teeth sunk in her bottom lip as she debated, “Well someone’s gotta take care of your house, no?”

But that wasn’t why Alex wanted her to take the key. “Don’t even think about it,” he frowned and shook his head, letting her know what he had actually planned, “I’ll have people come over to clean it. I just want you to enjoy it.”

“But you’re not here.” Ella argued in a whisper. How could she enjoy it when it would be the reminder that he wasn’t there?

He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he said, “I know, but it’ll make me happy to know you are here.”

She smirked, pulling back so he could open his eyes and look at her as she teased, “Already wanna wife me up, Turner?”

His smile reached his eyes hearing that, and he had to hold himself back from nodding eagerly at the suggestion. He was completely sure he wanted to call her his wife in the future, and even if it was crazy to admit this soon, he knew he also wanted her to be the mother of his children. His pupils dilated at the image of her swollen belly carrying his child, fucking hell did he love her with all that he was.

Instead of all that, he played it off suavely, “Well if you’re also considering it.”

Her cheeks hurt from how hard she was smiling, but she couldn’t help it when he said things like that. “You’re smooth,” she called out with a raise of her brows.

And, of course, her boyfriend puffed his chest out and nodded, “I know.”

“Okay c’mon, we gotta go.” She said as she put the new key in the front pocket of her jeans.

But Alex didn’t move, instead he leaned in and hugged her around the waist, hiding his face in the crook of her neck to mumble, “I don’t wanna.”

He surprised her by easily picking her up off the ground, making her drop her bag to the floor as she yelped and walking up to the settee to lay there with her on top of him, “Just wanna be here with you all day, every day.”

She hummed, picking her head up to look at him beneath her, pecking his lips once, twice and then pulling back to say, “Me too baby. But that’s the cost of being a rockstar, every country wants you to step in it.”

He sighed, her fingers starting to brush through his hair making his eyes grow heavy, “Wish I could just take you on tour with me.”

“Yeah, me too.” She agreed with ease, thinking that nothing would be better than that.

Alex continued fantasizing out loud, “Travel the world with you, live every experience with you, seeing the crazy crowds everywhere we go.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Ella promised with a kiss to the tip of his nose, the pads of her thumbs rubbing softly on his lids to make him open his eyes again, so he could see the determination in her eyes as she said, “Now we’re together and we got this yeah? It’ll be the same as before, you’re just actually my boyfriend now so I can tell everyone to fuck off when they interrupt our facetimes at work.”

He giggled like a fucking fool and hummed, “Mhm, baby. You tell them.” She snorted before dipping down to kiss his lips softly for a few seconds, pulling back only to hide in the crook of his neck and have one last cuddle before they had to go.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

By the time Ella and Alex walked into the airport and got to their airline section, everyone was there. They were all waiting in line to walk up to the check-in counters, and with the amount of stuff they needed to take with them, Ella knew it’d take a while.

So she went to sit next to Mia, who was also staying in Los Angeles like Ella, not going on tour with her boyfriend either. And thankfully they had each other, going through the same type of heartache, as they watched everyone go through slowly until it was time for them to head to security.

The security line was already so long and the airport was packed so they all needed to go in as soon as possible, which meant that goodbyes would have to happen right then and they’d have to be brief.

“I hate this.” Alex mumbled into her neck as they hugged goodbye.

“Fucking sucks.” Ella struggled to say as her eyes welled up with tears that she knew would spill as soon as she looked at his face.

Alex clutched her even tighter when hearing the heaviness in her voice, “We’ll be alright yeah? You’ll be sick of me by the time we come back to California.” He joked to settle her a little and he smiled when he heard her giggling.

“You wish.” She sniffled as the laughter had helped the tears start running down her cheeks. Sighing, she pulled back and cupped his face, “We got this, sweets.”

“We do.” He promised, bringing his hands up to her face to wipe away her tears. But they wouldn’t stop falling and he started tearing up at the sight. His hands held her face delicately but his words were determined as he said, “I love you so fucking much, darling. I’ll never let you forget it.”

Ella had to press her lips together in order not to sob, and taking a deep breath first, she managed to whisper, “Love you lots and lots and lots, sweetness.”

When their lips met, it tasted salty from the tears. That only made Alex move more intently against her mouth, hold her even closer to his body but not out of lust, because he needed the both of them to memorize how it felt to be properly pressed against each other. The way in which she held his face exuded longing, prematurely really because he was still there, but she was already mourning his presence beside her on the daily. The kiss was sad, a goodbye that hurt three times as much as the one they shared when he was leaving Tennessee.

But Alex couldn’t help but smile in content when he knew he would get to properly kiss her goodbye every time he were to leave from then on, like he’d been wanting to do for so long, “I can’t believe I can finally do that.”

“What?” She sniffled again, her sadness not only clouding her vision with tears but her thoughts for she couldn’t think about what he meant.

“Actually kiss you goodbye.” Alex answered breathlessly, a feeling coming over him in the most overwhelming way; a tear ran down his cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

Despite the ache that ripped through their chests, she knew what he meant by that. The final piece of the puzzle fell and the air changed around them when it all just felt right, once and for all.

Ella hummed, her pout changing into a massive grin as she concluded, “Finally.” 

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A/N: So... what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it and you can yell at me freely all you want, I know I made you lot go through it to get to this moment lolllll Hope you found it all worth the wait!!! Thank you for your constant support and your comments and messages, I appreciate them with all my heart!!! xxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

#alex turner #alex #turner #alex turner arctic monkeys #arctic monkeys #alex arctic monkeys #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fic #alex turner fluff #alex turner smut #alex turner angst #alex turner imagine #alex turner drabble #alex turner blurb #alex turner one shot #alex turner x oc #alex turner x reader #alex turner x y/n #alex turner x you #matt helders #jamie cook #nick omalley

[rissarants]

Farewell, My Favorite Fever Dream

Note: If you're only interested in my final show's recap, scroll down a bit. Obviously, spoiler warning. My Previous History with Sleep No More Before this past Saturday afternoon, it had been about a decade since I last checked into The McKittrick Hotel. What I thought would be my final visit was in October of 2013, my best friend and I attended another Sleep No More show that was promptly followed by Panic! At The Disco's album release party. It was an incredible evening, despite the "give me a vodka cranberry, this time with vodka" incident that resulted in a bartender gleefully sending me into a drunken spiral. It was my fourth show and I assumed it would be my last. After all, how many times could a person justify seeing the same show? (After perusing the Sleep No More subreddit and discord... apparently a lot. How the hell are you all affording this?!)

Content with my experiences and convinced I had seen all there was to see, I put that obsession behind me.... or so I thought.

The mysterious and cryptic world of Sleep No More lingered in the back of my head like a haunting melody that refused to fade. Occasionally I would reminisce about the blue-tinged forest maze, the smell of the hotel lobby, and recall my 1:1 with Hecate. I relished retelling my experiences to people who had never been to the show. During the peak of my obsession, I had recapped a couple of my visits here on Tumblr (Sleep No More and The Third Time's The Charm) and I would return long after this blog had grown dormant just to reread those posts. I had toyed with the idea of returning, but as I grew older and life became more expensive, so did the show. I couldn't justify dropping that amount of money on something I had seen four times already. Then came the closing announcement. Suddenly I found myself pulling up the site, going over current ticket prices, and wishing I could take that leap. But I was no longer the financially irresponsible 20-something without real responsibility. I'm in my thirties, a mother, and have things like preschool tuition to worry about.

After a casual conversation with my in-laws over Thanksgiving dinner, the topic of Sleep No More was brought up. Immediately I was gushing about how much I adored the show, my past experiences, and how I had never reached that elusive 6th floor. As a result, they ended up buying me two tickets as my gift for Christmas. They had sprung for the Oz's Guest tickets, so we were able to get priority entry, a table, and a complimentary coat check. It was an incredibly generous gift, and I was nearly moved to tears. I was finally going back. My Final Show Recap After an excruciating month of waiting and obsessing, the day had finally arrived. I was going with my husband who had never attended but heard my stories and was looking forward to seeing it for himself. I wanted him to go in mostly blind and only gave him the most basic of tips (e.g. if an actor offers their hand, take it. If you hear techno music, run towards it.) He understood that we would not be going on this adventure together, I refused to be one of those obnoxious couples who held hands the entire time. Half of the fun is going with someone, separating from them once you enter the hotel, and then talking about what you both experienced afterward. For myself, I had done a bit of research before this final show and was hoping to follow the loops of characters I hadn't paid attention to before. While I had this initial plan, I also promised myself that I would go with the natural flow of things. I had been warned about the aggressive crowds and didn't want to let anything like that spoil my final visit. We arrived early, were checked in swiftly, and given a pair of playing cards (aces, which meant we would be in the first group.) Before I knew it, "The Man Who Knew Too Much Prelude" was filling my ears as we navigated the pitch-black maze that acts like a portal to the Manderley bar. We had a table waiting for us, but since we had aces there was not enough time for a drink. Our group was called, and Steve and I were separated almost immediately. I ended up on the elevator and he was in another group that went up some stairs.

I was the first person off of the elevator and the doors shut quickly behind me. For a split second, I thought I may have been dumped out on the 6th floor, but unfortunately, it was the 5th floor. I spotted the familiar bathtubs and beds of the King James Sanitorium and began to wander. I weaved through the Birch Forest maze, which was every bit as eerie and confusing as I remembered. I saw Matron Lang hanging out in her wooden hut and watched her through the window for what felt like a long time. Eventually, I grew a bit bored and wandered down to Macbeth's bedroom.

I watched the scene where Lady Macbeth eventually convinces her husband to murder Duncan. It was at this point that I considered trying to follow Macbeth throughout the first loop and chased him to the canopy where a sleeping Duncan lay. I watched as Macbeth smothered him with a pillow, a long brutal scene where we had to stand there helplessly as Duncan fought back angrily, eventually weakening and giving up with a final twitch. Macbeth tried to wash his hands in a basin, only to realize that they were now covered in blood. I still can't believe that I somehow missed this pivotal moment in my previous shows. At this point, a sizeable crowd had gathered around the (quite handsome) actor who played Macbeth and I noticed a few aggressive women were shoving their way to the front. It was then that I decided to hang back with Duncan's dead body to see what would happen next. I believe it was Banquo who came in, found the body, and began ringing the bell. Malcolm and Macduff arrived, and they all expressed their grief, eventually bringing the body down to the crypt. Again, a pushy crowd had begun to gather and I craved space. I went up a flight or two and heard the unmistakable techno beats of the witches' second prophecy/rave/blood orgy thing. I immediately changed course and followed the beats to the long, dark, hallway topped with a neon sign that once read "Hello There" but now simply stated "Hell here." The rave scene is still as impactful as it was the first time I had seen it... complete sensory overload. I ended up in a spot where I was front and center, watching as Hecate whipped the other witches up into a frenzy. The beat dropped and the strobe lights kicked in, causing the scene to be presented in short flashes. The Boy Witch completely nude, on top of a table wearing an animal's head. Macbeth presented with a bloody infant. The guttural screams of the witches' power.

I stayed after the rave to witness the Sexy Witch do her exhausted, eerie dance behind the bar as Hecate watched. Afterward, Hecate and Agnes had a tense moment where the former gathered the latter's tears in a little glass vial.

It was at this point that I decided to follow Agnes back to her apartment, the Tailor made his creepy appearance through her closet, and the loop restarted. I tried sticking with Agnes for as long as I could, getting to see her dance with the Tailor, steal his money, and eventually make her way to the hotel lobby.

It was there that I was reunited with an old character I remembered fondly: the Porter. While I did not have a true 1:1 with him in my previous shows, he did give me the note that eventually led to my cherished Hecate 1:1. That was then followed by a frantic, yet fruitless attempt at finding her ring.

This time I hung back and observed as the Porter had his tea scene with Agnes, followed by a drunken dance as he cleaned up the hotel. I have to say that this actor was incredibly good, mixing a bit of rage, sadness, and silliness as he leaped around the room pulling sheets from lamps. After the Boy Witch arrived to taunt and then cruelly reject the Porter, one of the other white masks (audience members) was whisked away into the Porter's office for a 1:1. At this point, I admit that I was feeling a little confused about what to do next. I was approximately halfway through this final show and had an anxious feeling about wasting the precious moments I had left. I recalled reading how you could gain access to the 6th floor 1:1 by encountering a nurse on the 5th floor. I decided to check it out quickly, hoping that I would get lucky.

Instead, I ran into Nurse Shaw, who was doing an odd dance in the window between the bathtubs and the forest. I followed her through the woods and ran into Matron Lang who seemed transfixed by the Nurse. They both seemed to mirror each other's movements and the Matron started moving through the maze in an attempt to catch up to the Nurse. She was unsuccessful as the Nurse disappeared back through her window, and I decided to follow a slightly dejected Matron Lang back to her hut. She walked up the steps to the wooden hut and turned around, staring right into my eyes. It was at this moment that she extended her hand. I suddenly felt breathless as the sensation of butterflies tinged with fear filled my chest. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized I would be experiencing a 1:1 at my final show. I slowly took her hand, and she pulled me up into the hut.

My 1:1 with Matron Lang She was silent as she shut the door behind me, followed by the window, and then turned to face me. She slowly removed my mask, all the while never breaking eye contact, and whispered something along the lines of "That's better." I tried to say thank you, but the words caught in my dry mouth, my tongue suddenly feeling foreign and useless.

She offered me a seat, went to her desk, and prepared a cup of tea. As she did so, she locked eyes with me in a small mirror. She was not smiling. I wanted to look away, but it was so unnerving that I felt like I had to hold her gaze in fear of seeming rude.

She handed me the cup of tea with a spoon and leaned forward expectantly. I didn't know what she wanted, so after a couple of awkward beats, she gently grabbed my hand to guide the spoon into the tea and then into her mouth. I fed her the tea about three times, slowly and trying not to let my shaking hand spill any liquid onto her face.

The entire time she stared at me. I'm sure she blinked at some points, but I swear it felt like her piercing eyes never moved.

After the tea, she quietly told me a story about a young child who was all alone. "Once upon a time there was a poor child with no mother and no father. Everything was dead, and there was nobody left in the whole world. Everything was dead. The boy went on search day and night and since there was no one left on earth he wanted to go up into the heavens. The moon looked at him so friendly! But when he finally got to the moon, the moon was a piece of rotten wood. And then he went to the sun, and when he got there, the sun was a wilted sunflower. And when he went to the stars they were little golden flies stuck up there like the shrike sticks them on the blackthorn. And when he wanted to go back to earth, the earth was an overturned piss pot. And he was all alone. And he sat down and he cried, and he is still there to this day, all alone." (Apparently, this is from Büchner’s Woyzeck. I had to look it up when I got home.)

As she whispered this story, her eyes began to fill with tears, prompting mine to do the same. She held my palm, tracing the lines and occasionally squeezing my hand. She then leaned far back in her chair, pulling my hand with her so I had to lean forward. Without warning, she flung forward, grabbed my shoulders as I gasped, and whispered "It'll have blood they say, blood will have blood." She got up, put my mask on, and showed me the door. As I left, she shut the door behind her, and I was back in the woods with other white masks who were staring at me intently. I walked past them as I tried to regulate my breathing and figure out what to do next. After that adrenaline rush, the rest of the night was a bit of a blur. I bounced between characters as the crowds grew larger and more unruly. I saw the angry Taxidermist searching for something, finally caught the ballroom party, and helped another white mask catch pregnant Lady Macduff when she passed out. I saw the Bald Witch's transformation, the rave one final time, and then followed the Sexy Witch to the apothecary.

She knelt down, dress still hanging off of her with her chest exposed. She washed the blood off of her skin and hair in a small bowl, then stood and handed me a towel. I helped towel her off slowly, she then fixed her dress and grabbed me close to whisper "Blood will have blood" in my ear.

I followed her out to the last banquet and had a front-row spot for the finale. I'll never be able to properly describe how that scene makes me feel. The slow-motion acting, the allusion to 'The Last Supper", Macbeth's frantic "NO", followed by the snap of the noose. Absolutely chilling.

The wood groaned under the weight of the swinging body, with the creaking eventually drowned out by "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" by Glenn Miller. We were all herded out of the hotel in a haze, greeted by a loud jazz band playing old-timey renditions of current popular songs. It's a jarring switch of moods, which only seemed to exacerbate my post-show disorientation.

The 6th floor still eludes me.

Is that all there is?

#sleep no more #the mckittrick hotel #punchdrunk #sleep no more nyc #immersive theatre #macbeth

[goodbysunball]

Cement mixer blues

A couple more for your March, with Opening Day right around the corner. Four picks, all hits, and more waiting in the wings - but until then:

Thomas Bush, The Next 60 Years LP (Jolly Discs)

Album number three from Thomas Bush, one carving his own path through the history of quietly devastating British folk. That Bush has much to do with "folk" in general is debatable at this point, but there are fractured fragments within his damaged, precise compositions. On The Next 60 Years, he refines his vision further, not solely through reduction (though that, too) but with a bit of surprising bombast on the B-side. "Same Life Flowed" opens the album with plodding pop, the double-tracked vocals opening up just enough during the chorus to complement the harpsichord melody, and runs into the pensively dueling guitars on the accurately named "Pure Intention." As is Bush's wont, the album never keeps a straight course after this beautiful opening; some songs, like "Mulligan" or "Flood of Light," creak like floorboards in an empty house, whereas "Face In the Water" jumps out of the speakers from behind the curtain. I've never pieced together any influence of Talk Talk or Mark Hollis on Bush's sound, but now it's crystal on "Burn Clear," the patiently brushed cymbals and pattering drums pairing with slowly ringing chords, all directed by Bush's carefully delivered vocals. The samples on "Burn Clear" get turned inside-out on "Face In the Water," its booming synth chords leaving backwards bubbling loops in their wake, the distortion becoming ever more prominent as Bush's most clear, confident song unravels over its duration. The synth chords turn green midway through, and the garbled loops run rampant to cloud any pop ambitions with more unease. The album closes with the quietly devastating "Xtrails," a repeated descending progression of guitar notes and scattered synth chords, tying the album together neatly with only the necessary ingredients. In early listens, "Burn Clear" and "Face In the Water" were the highlights, but now tracks like "Thirsting" and "Xtrails" have become my favorites, the ones where Bush takes something recognizable and strips it to a skeleton and makes the bones vibrate with noise, creating a new story for the figure largely free from its past. Stunning, especially during my pre-dawn drives, but potent enough, and enveloping enough, to transport the listener from start to finish anytime. Sold out at the source, but I suspect copies will land stateside soon; if not, All Night Flight is handling the distribution - hop to it.

Contaminated, Celebratory Beheading LP (Blood Harvest)

Amidst a glut of ho-hum, self-referencing contemporary death metal, I wasn't really prepared for the complete onslaught that makes up Contaminated's second LP. I liked Final Man a lot, but things seem to have gotten a lot bleaker in the seven years since that came out, and Celebratory Beheading is the record that balls up collective agony into relentless, boneheaded death metal. It takes all of 15 seconds into opener "Suffer Minutiae" for the band to launch into a chugging breakdown riff, and even after multiple spins I feel as if I haven't captured the right words to describe music so single-mindedly brutish. There are no synths, electronics or really anything resembling a breather across the album. This new-look Contaminated feels like layers alternating between Carcass (pre-Heartwork) and Autopsy, with a dash of County Medical Examiners or other goregrind practitioner. Each song is made up of multiple movements, which is the stupid way my brain's been reduced to describing this record when it's on, but the very basic recipe is to pound with death metal crunch and follow it up with a grinding blast, before pulling back and taking another swing at your head. These parts are masterfully fused together without gaps or any recognizable structure, suffocatingly dense compositions coming one after another. Once your ears adjust, the pieces of the bulldozing sound can just barely be picked apart. The drummer's right up front with the vocals, and the two seem to goad each other on; the guitars, drenched in distortion and as beefy as I've heard (sans exterior electronic noise) in ages, churn out mercilessly hard or dizzyingly fast riffs. "Final Hours" is the point in the record where I finally catch my breath, and by "Apex C.H.U.D." (stands for Circular Headbanging Under Duress, pretty sure) you're stomping around like a sumo wrestler. Imagine running in a sewer tunnel away from a tidal wave of waste, each turn bringing no more distance or relief from the chase; at some point your legs and chest give out and you submit. I haven't looked at the included lyric sheet - the album and song titles are illustrative enough - but this seems to be the soundtrack to intentionally hammering a nail through your finger, pure visceral animal thrill, presented without concessions or interludes. My favorite record of the year so far.

Los Doroncos, Sun and Fireworks LP (An'archives)

There's nothing like the first whiff of springtime to bring me around to an album that made little sense during the dregs of the new year, and Los Doroncos' Sun and Fireworks is one for the ages. Seasoned vets with deep ties to the Japanese underground - members from Denudes, Maher Shalal Hash Baz, Doronco Gumo - but what you get here is a dream dive bar band, playing music both intimately familiar and somehow buoyant, not bogged down with expectations or concerned with much else than playin' hits. If the band set out to make classic rock feel fresh again, they nailed it, taking the scoff right outta my throat and using it to hit another solo. The band rips on the two longer tracks, "A minor" (one of the young year's best tracks) and "Drum," but elsewhere things are downright breezy. Guitars are largely unadorned until solos call for distortion, vocals are charming, paper-thin but hopeful, and the drums do enough to keep everything together. For me, any cynicism is eradicated by the beautifully disarming guitar lines littered about in "LuLu 2," but just as often it's the solo pushing its way through the clean chords of "Tin Ear." I'm in the midst of fixing up my porch, and if I get my way, I will be having a few beers back there with Sun and Fireworks elevating my mundane accomplishment. Come through.

Peg, We Know Who You Are and Everyone Is On the Lookout CS (No Rent)

Meeting of the minds between Cube's Adam Keith and Jackie-O Motherfucker's Dave Easlick, both of whom previously teamed up in SPF. I can't remember SPF's music much, though it may be time to revisit given how much I've enjoyed Peg's debut cassette. The music on We Know Who You Are feels like dub recorded without or presented without permission, as if found on a thrift store cassette, and then given added rhythm by Easlick and Keith's drumming and programming. "Mutual Percussion" is a sterling example, drums fading in and out while viscous treated guitar bubbles and the sound of a breeze or footsteps periodically emerge to confusingly give the feel of a field recording. The album feels sometimes ominous, sometimes sarcastic; the intention feels pure but you're never quite convinced with a track like "Agenda Jazz," either. Beyond sifting through the tape for intention, there's deep enjoyment here, skewering and distorting sounds in a way not unlike Equipment Pointed Ankh, though Peg's got a decidedly more abstract, glowering, smirking result. Hard to pick favorites, but if forced: the slouched strut of "Athletic Posturing"; the disarming "Everyone," all glistening synthesizer and distant drums; and my favorite, "Bog Standard," Easlick letting loose on the kit while a bassy loop and high-pitched noise build towers in the shifting sands. Really feels like these two met each other head-on this round, keeping stakes low for themselves but understanding one another intuitively to create one of last year's best albums.

#Thomas Bush #Jolly Discs #Contaminated #Blood Harvest Records #Los Doroncos #An'archives #Peg #No Rent Records

[ghost-of-you]

Wait, have you done 5SOS5 for the album things, like you did the other 4?

I haven't but I will now oskaoskoasas here are the other posts if you feel like reading them self titled sgfg youngblood calm random post i made about how the album is telling the story of being trapped in one relationship

5sos5, my tragic love baby, we start it out so strong with complete mess, first self-produced song and first song we heard that was written by the four of them and only the four of them, all of them singing, a recognizable guitar riff, that classic 5sos song structure with a 4 chord melody where the song builds up until it drops at the bridge and comes back to finish it off strong with the last chorus, also "I ask no questions as your colors take their hold as my darkness turns to gold inside"?????? Excuse me??????? Then we move on to easy for you to say, they wrote all that we just let them get away with it, I'm scared to find a piece of peace of mind has haunted me since I heard it for the first time in a shaky Instagram live from the Dublin show, obsessed with the lyrics of this song, I think lyrically it really shows how good they are as songwriters, but this song is also my controversial opinion of the album because there's something in the production of it that deeply bothers me (sorry Michael, I love you) so it's the song I listen to the least, I'm still listening the live cut from the tour diary. Then we go to Bad Omens, I will never accept the fact that that song is not everywhere. I think it's flawless, the way the intro matches the outro so you can get caught in the same loop of going around again that the lyrics are talking about, and that's something that's a trend with them, they exaggerate the lyrics with the production and I think bad omens is the best example of it, I'm particularly obsessed with the way the chorus makes you expect a high note after the somebody, so when we get to the outro we expect the last somebody to be followed by a high else, but they actually drop the note, because nothing is ending in a high note here, not the relationship, not the song. Flawless vocals, flawless melody, flawless production, not a single wrong decision was made with this song. Then we have me myself and I, I think is so much fun, I think they made the perfect pop song, you have simple lyrics that are just repeating, and the way the song is structured it kinda feels like it's just one chorus that keeps going and going and since the song actually ends not only in the middle of the sentence but also in the middle of the progression in the guitar, you kinda feel this need to loop it, I know most people didn't get it when Ashton said that this song was very sgfg, but this song is so sgfg if sgfg was more pop than it is, the way its 4 chords in a guitar that just loops, the way it builds around that riff, the way the drums only come in in the second verse, the way it goes, goes, then just drops before coming back, the outro with the repetition, it's all very vapor of them in my opinion lol. Then we have take my hand, the way Luke wrote it alone and they managed to make it sound like a 5sos song is actually such a good example of how well they work with each other as musicians, because, yes, you can feel Luke's influence deeply in the song, but you can hear them all in it. Also, Luke Hemmings the songwriter you are, I can't quote anything because I would just write the whole song. One of their strongest bridges, amazing song all around.

Then we get to carousel, I don't know if anyone else remembers this but Ashton said that you just need 2 chords to make a great song, and this song technically has 4, but in the verses, they're actually going back and forth with 2, and I think that's such a good way to give you that feeling of spinning that comes with a carousel when paired with the drums, also I feel like this song is the first of many in the album where Luke flexing his vocal range lol, dude starts on his lower register, pulls some high notes and the whole time you're just like *Ashton's voice* you got an epic voice bro. Also, the symbolism of the lyrics drives me a bit crazy. And the way the song drops but never picks back up because you're on a one-way ride and there's no going back, INSANE. Also, Youtube countdown outro my beloved <3. Then we get to the most controversial song on the album. Personally, I think older is a good song, I would've put it as a deluxe track and put moodswings here instead but mostly because moodswings fits the tragic love narrative of the rest of the standard album in a way older doesn't. Love the piano, love the way Luke's voice goes with Sierra's, beautiful song but it feels out of place when you look at the rest of the album. My dear devoted delicate <3. Then Haze. Let's ignore the emotional whiplash of going from a piano ballad to it. I'm actually obsessed when 5sos goes 80s pop, it's a song that makes you want to move. It gives you that very pop feeling while being completely built around a guitar riff, so it's a very pop vibe but it exists around their strength, also Ashton is singing so it is a win in my books lol "when I lived between the bars" <33333333 . And the fact that all of them have production credits on it makes me all !!!!! Then you don't go to parties. I'm in a ydgtp mood so this may be very biased toward it. I love that the verses are built around the bass but the chorus is built around a guitar riff. I'm obsessed with everything about it, the little synth noises thrown all around, Calum playing with his lower register, the drums, Ashton's verse, everything really. Lost my limit cause I'm dumb and I'm passionate. I'm particularly obsessed with how many ways you can interpret the lyrics. Maybe he's looking for someone, maybe the someone he's looking is his old self, maybe he just wants out from his own head. Amazing, incredible, did something to my brain when I first heard it. Then blender, my beloved. LOVE when they make a song around the bass riff. Obsessed with the use of a blender as a metaphor for the cycle they're trapped in, because a blender spins things around while chopping them up, so no cycle is without consequence. Another song Luke is just flexing how good of a vocalist he is. Everything about it feels dramatic, the chorus sang in one breath, the imagery the lyrics are painting, the way the song starts and ends with Luke singing so no intro or outro to get you out of the cycle. Mandatory moment of appreciation for time stamp 1:37 <3.

Then we have caramel. I will never get over this song. It fundamentally changed me as a person. From the sigh in the beginning to the riff at the end. Ashton lower harmonies in the first verse, Luke's voice sounding almost dreamy while the lyrics are talking about getting back to something and how it gets sharper as the song goes and the lyrics start to give you the idea that maybe there's no saving this one. I know it well, caramel, I feel the comedown. I don't know about yall but every time I hear the second verse of this song I want to drop to my knees and scream (and I have on occasion lol). I don't think they made a single wrong choice with this song, from lyrics to production. Love like a landslide, I kiss you goodnight and the implications of the goodnight in a song about fighting for something that you know is doomed because they could've very easily made that love like a landslide I kiss you goodnight, love like a landslide I kiss you goodbye and imply that they are leaving this thing they know they can't save, but no, the love is going down and they are going down with it. Then they just spin you around with best friends. Love that this is a 2 chords lets have FUN song. I love my best friends, they love me, I will hold on to this feeling as long as I can. Michael verse <3333333333. Absolutely obsessed with how they just wrote a song about friendship. Love how this is a song that I can see every era of them playing and just goofing around on stage. Then we have Bleach. Way to put you back in the emotional blender. Again, Luke flexing his range. Lower Calum, Michael verse. You know how I said they sometimes exaggerate the lyrics with the melody? This song has water sounds (I can't determine if Michael actually added waterlike sounds or if he added a waterlike effect to the slides sounds you can get when you switch chords in a guitar) and with a good enough headphone, there's actually a whole layer of harmonies in it that sound like they are playing somewhere with a lower refraction rate than air, like water. It's so hard to watch everything I want, everything I was spinning down the drain. Multitasking 🥺. I do wanna know if this song was the soundtrack to more people impulse changing their hair color because the amount of times I bleached my hair while this song was playing since it came out is a bit alarming. Perfect soundtrack for those of us who dye hair as a bad coping mechanism lol. Then we have red line. I'm definitely biased about this one. This is one of my favorite songs ever. Definitely my favorite on the album. The way they play with the imagery of waiting in a train in it fascinates me, from the oohs that sound like the notes of a train whistle, the synth that sounds like the sound you get when there are station announcements, the echos that sound like the ambient sound you would hear waiting for a train, to the literal train doors closing as the song ends. The lyrics that leaves you wondering if they are waiting for the train to come or for someone to join them on the train they are. The implication of not being welcome anymore. I want back in, but I can't. I would love an acoustic version of it and I think more people would like it if it had a more stripped production, but seriously this song is everything to me. And what a way to end the album when you consider the bird sounds in the beginning of complete mess, to finish it with a door closing. Michael Clifford the producer you are.

Then we have the bonus tracks. They put you in the emotional blender going back and forth with sad songs, lets dance songs. I want whatever Michael put in moodswings so I can inject it pure into my bloodstream. The most Luke flexing his range Luke could get lol (they're not playing this song because they can't change the key or else the rest of the song would be too low but the chorus is too high for Luke to sing every night and I will die on this hill lol). The epitome of I have an anxious attachment style but I am in a long-distance relationship. I love a good reminder of how well all of their voices go with each other. Obsessed with the way they exaggerated the breaths in the bridge, the random piano sounds. Also, do something for me, put moodswings, queue bleach, change the crossfade to 12 seconds, then sit back and enjoy. Then we have a nice little 180 twist because going from moodswings to flatline gets me like that gif with the girls dancing while crying lol. I don't care what Ashton said, I still hear Calum lol. But their harmony game is insane and I think that that chorus has a shitton of layers and that's what keeps us all guessing about who's singing. Anyway, this song makes me want to sit them all down and discuss their range because that shit is HIGH. Again, love me some pop vibes. Sometimes you just wanna dance to a song about falling so hard you feel like your heart is gonna stop. Then we have emotions. Criminally underrated song. Obsessed with the way Michael is singing about anxiety on top of a guitar riff that counts in a self-soothing pattern, I think that's legit genius of him. The way he's harmonizing with himself too, like, he said MY SONG and meant it. I'm doing my best and I guess that's the best I can do. I think this song follows the malum pattern while writing songs together because they have a tendency of repeating sounds more frequently than you would expect, kinda as if they made a list of words that rhyme and tried to put them as often as possible. I'm also obsessed with how low the song is because I think we as a society talk about hitting high notes all the time, but a lower song can be real impressive if you give it a chance. Bloodhound. Forever mad I didn't get visuals of Michael's "he sunk his teeth into the bone" but I can see Ashton arguing against this song because the crowd would clap wrong during the bridge and he wouldn't be able to move past it oksaaoska. Fun song, gotta be honest tho, the lyrics confused the shit out of me for a while there. I do love the beat in this, the combination of the bass and the drums and that thing in the back that sounds like Ashton is banging his drumsticks together. Then we have tears. Anything that has Ashton singing is a win in my books. Obsessed with the imagery in it. There's a hole in the sun caving in and I feel it. Burn the words to start over. Diamonds turn to puddles. Tears hitting the ground, Fears pulling me down. Cashton do know how to make a song. I think if you're going back and forth with a duo in the band, Calum and Ashton create a real nice effect. The rhythm section really popped off with that one. Love how you get double the Ashton influence with how heavily it goes around the drums.

The new vocal coach was an amazing choice, Michael is an amazing producer, lyrically they excelled themselves, really shows off all of their strengths 1000000000/10 best 5sos album and we all know it.

#this got LONG oh wow #lol #i was asked #rambling about the albums #long post #I'm overthinking and overanalyzing #anon 😌

[boricuacherry-blog]

why didn't Beyoncé show(more) blk country artists.. on only 2 songs isn't much out of 23 songs on the album. Not even their own verses. Just crammed four black female country singers into a 2 minute song and they're all doing background vocals for Bey😒 there's enough songs where each could have had a feature and showcase their voices. On Blackbird they barely get focus, much less individually. It only lends credence to ppl who think she doesn't want another blk female to outshine her. Why aren't (Chloe and Halle) featured at all, since they're signed to her label.

Songs on the album remind me of Renaissance with more rap and guitar/fiddle loops as part of instrumentation. The upbeat songs/part of the songs had a house vibe. House with a rap/trap flow with lyrics about country stuff. Album def was not country.

Spaghetti was horrible. wish she'd stop rapping. She was a better artist before she started trying to take Jay-Z's job. She really wants the public to believe she's "not in a gang but got shooters." Okk..I know she made the cut as Trina's favorite rapper, but be real.

Half the album was placating one audience, other half to placate the white country fans. Would've been amazing if she stopped trying to appeal to everybody and their mother and their mother's ain't shit hillbilly cousin who's burning a hole in the carpet with their crackpipe as we speak and just said something truly thought provoking or opinionated. Or featured all blk artists. Something innovative in that regard, since she's in an experimental mood. production on American Requiem was cool..didn't say anything wild, basically just that she's confused as to why ppl don't consider her country by default bec of her Houston accent, and that America has a lot of red in its flag. She has a nice higher register in Daughter - the song reminds me of Halle's song Angel. On Most Wanted she gave Miley a whole feature and Miley's voice is just effortlessly country and outdid her on her own song. Miley's version of Jolene is actually better too. Taylor Swift did background vocals on Bodyguard.

Also wondering why she didn't feature Halle when Halle would have killed the light airy vocals.

There wasn't a strong hook on any of the songs to make one really stand out. And some of the songs didn't make sense to me. For ex. on spaghetti she says she's on a fishing expedition, but she's cooking chicken. Is she going fishing or is she cooking chicken? And what does any of that have to do with spaghetti. And in another song ('just for fun') she literally says she's a man. Was that a typo from the songwriter? Shouldn't it say woman. Also in 'Tyrant' it's unclear as to whether she's in a shootout or in a one night stand. In the same song, her body is howling but it's 'on sight' with an owl. Is she in the mood or is she fighting with a damn owl. Like I'm so confused. Then In 'Bodyguard' she says she's in a moshpit. I thought this was suppose to be country not heavy metal. I don't think she and her songwriters are on the same page. Maybe they have beef with her.

And why does she always have to keep reminding everyone who her husband is? It's like she feels obligated to attach herself to Jay-Z with every project. The Mrs Carter Tour, Cowboy Carter, "heyyyy Ms Carter." I get that's your husband but doesn't he have his own career? You don't need to enmesh his identity with yours. We don't care about Jay-Z.

#thoughts #beyonce #cowboy carter

[hairklipz]

Review 01: LTJ Bukem - Producer 01

Released: 0?/01/00AV

Genre: Electronic / Subgenre: Jungle DnB a/o Intelligent DnB & Downtempo

Watford native LTJ Bukem had heavy influence on what would become known as "Intelligent DnB". Intel. DnB is characterized by clear jazz influence alongside the break beats that make Jungle so addictive. Bukem navigates the sound with expertise, flaunting complex but catchy jazz loops into the mix from his classically trained background as well as hard hitting basslines that rock your ears. As the record runs, you lose track of time as the songs are paced very well despite being on the longer side by today's standards. If someone is looking for an introduction to the UK Jungle scene, Producer 01 is a gentle yet proper means to do so. It starts you off by getting you used to the sounds you will hear through the project and then eases you into the heavier aspects later on. Let's listen.

Track One is a seven minute interlude titled appropriately 'Cosmic Interlude'. As the song begins I can already feel myself enjoying it from the bass loop alone. This loop is reminiscent of the "Meep City Night Theme" from Roblox (obscure reference but that song is a 10/10 for me). The tone of this interlude is also set quickly with the accents heard echoing over the bass until the drums come knocking in. The structure of this song seems to focus it's attention on the tone switches. Moments of minor tension broken up with soft electric keys and more accenting. Just as the song is starting to become repetitive, Bukem (as if he is mixing this with you in mind) switches direction, giving us a break from the loop before heading into the final minute of the track. Although the loop has only been gone for less than a minute, when it makes it's return with new partners, you cease to remember the repetitive feeling from minutes before. An amazing start to the album.

Track Two instantly takes a dip in tone. Titled Constellation, this track is the sole song on the record that features vocals. The lyrics of this song seem to focus on music transporting you elsewhere. The style of the rap is consistent with the English Scene with flow influence from New York contemporaries of the same time and genre. I think this track is a great listen especially if you are listening intently. Noticing details like the whispers that DSR layers over his verse pulls the listener away from where they are grounded much like the song intended. As far as the production, a favorite for me is the strings within in the loops. I am an absolute sucker for strings especially the strings consistent with the late 90's and early 2000's. When the beat rides for the keys solo before the last verse, you get a chance to really hear those strings before the song fades off. I really enjoyed this song despite it being almost an outlier from the rest of the album.

Track Three is where we start to inch closer to the traditional jungle sound although I use 'inch' very literally. Unlike later tracks, this one remains subtle in its label. My first thought is downtempo but maybe not a specific sub-genre within it. The BPM sits at around 104 or 105 as opposed to the average BPM of 158 over the six songs that follow it. The chords feel very house-y which I love and I think suits the track immensely. While listening to the first two minutes of this song, the sub-bass will creep in for just moments at time preparing you for second-quarter of the track. The sub-bass hits hard and rounded, you can almost see the shape of it while listening. The echoing horns throughout the song are trance-like, it feels like I'm being hypnotized, snapped awake and instantly re-instated as the horns return. This cycle continues until you fully awaken only due to the volume lowering as the song fades out.

Track Four begins with what I can only describe as someone taking the term jungle literally. Partnered in the background with percussion are various chirps but closer to the foreground is what seems to be (in my opinion) a bit-crushed roar of some kind that starts anew every eight measures. I really love the idea of Bukem sitting down and deciding to center a jungle song around jungle sounds (even if I am not 100% on his intention or even that these sounds came from the jungle in the first place). The drums in this song are one of my favorite from the entire record despite this not being a favorite song as a whole. I think this song serves well as a transitionary track into the higher tempo theme of the rest of the album and prepares you for track five which I consider to be the second strongest, second most interesting and my overall second favorite on the album.

Track Five is titled 'Demon Theme'. As the track sets the tone for you, chirps are carried on from the previous track until the break begins. The drums are instantly weaker than the last song but this is not where 'Demon Theme' shines. Two minutes into the track, an echoing lead catches an unbelievable groove that immediately takes over. This section of the song is interrupted by a sampled singing voice that eases us into a new section of chaos. Many freshly introduced sounds start to swirl around your head at 145 BPM causing a hurricane circling your brain. Soon after, the 'calm' within this 'storm' appears in the form of flutes that end up blending the rest of the sounds into one. Once again, this off-key vocal sample serves as the start of the next section where we are met with warm synths and those familiar chirps from earlier. It feels like an off-color sun is breaking through the clouds of earlier. As the song enters it's final stretch, the chaos is gone and that catchy lead comes back to wrap everything up into a neat package. This new tone becomes the standard for the song, wiping your memory of the chaos the ensued minutes before. Switching between minute three and minute six feel like distant sonic cousins rather than two parts of the same track and I think this is absolutely a positive but also a theme of this album. It is dynamic and it shows track-to-track.

Track Six is our longest track on the records at just under nine minutes. The loop here has some sort of a filter which almost detunes it at times and I love that effect. The synths that work with this loop are slow and drone-like which leaves you wondering where this song will end up knowing that Bukem is both unpredictable and extremely talented at it too. 'Music' sits at the higher side with 155 BPM but somehow the song feels slow and paced. It is an amazing feeling. By minute four, I had found myself feeling like the song just began but we were already half way finished. The track is quick yet slow. It is heavy yet soft. It is both liquid and solid. Throughout this one, a sampled voice comes echoing both in and out like something out of Silent Hill until thick undistinguishable chords creep in to set the tone completely. 'Music' isn't one of my favorites as a song but the experience itself makes it. I think it is rare to find a track paced so perfectly.

Track Seven (my overall favorite) continues the long run time with the the last two songs totaling over seventeen minutes all by themselves. This song has a slow build but already starts to set the groove. The echo and melody used for this flute sample is one of the catchiest on the entire record. The bass on this track is definitely more subtle than the former songs but it is still rounded and impactful. As you hit the halfway point of 'Twilight Voyage' you get a closer listen to the sounds present in the song and this is one of my favorite sections. I don't have the proper words to describe the feeling they give me but it is like every sound is picked perfectly. Every soundwave is the exact one that I would specifically want. I find myself getting lost in this section just appreciating said sounds until the DnB returns for the final two minutes of the track. This song is one of the least dynamic of the record but somehow it doesn't feel repetitive, every second of those eight minutes is paced just as well as the previous track and that blows me away.

Track Eight begins unlike any of the other songs. 'Orchestral Jam' has an strong start as opposed to the soft build-ups we've been used to for the past seven tracks. The drums are glitchy and fast which the track gives us plenty of time in the first minute to appreciate until the melodies begin to slip in. Of course, this song is focused on strings but these strings aren't my favorite. I mentioned earlier in the review that the strings of this era are one of my biggest weaknesses but the ones present in this track just don't do it for me. Even when the bass is introduced about halfway through the song, I do not find myself getting the same feeling the record has produced so far. My favorite thing about this song are definitely the accenting done here and there. That being said, this song is on the weaker side for me and would be at best an 'okay' track. I do believe that this song is greater than 'okay' but might have the unfortunate task of following the almost perfect first seven tracks.

Track Nine is the where this amazing record comes to an end and from what I understand is Bukem's most popular track. Off-the-bat, this song has a chopped vocal sample (from which part of the title is taken) that is absolutely lovely. I think that the beginning of this song sets an amazing tone that gets me excited for the ending of this album. The keys, which are almost clav-like, are catchy and funky until they are cut-off. I think that I would've liked those keys to continue and carry the rest of the track with them in a different direction. They make their return alongside that vocal sample in the final minute of the record but without enough time to bring the song to a place I'd like to hear. I think this song reveals one of my worst habits which is gaining expectations in a track to only feel disappointed if it doesn't go where my head was thinking or somewhere better. This song set a tone that I got attached to and changed it. I believe that the song is still great but I am just a picky and pretentious brat who acts like he could've even made something this good.

Producer 01 is labeled by some as a compilation record rather than an actual album. I believe that without lyrics it can sometimes be difficult to keep an album coherent but Bukem did it masterfully. This project feel cohesive and paced beautifully. Sitting at 1hour and 13 minutes, each song works its runtime properly and keeps you engaged both mentally and physically. This record has plenty of moments where you cannot help but have a physical reaction to what is occurring even if you are not listening with full intent. This record is not abrasive but does have moments that wake you up and cause those reactions. With a slower, seemingly unsure start, the first three songs carry layers of influence that leave you guessing on the exact genre is would be considered. As you hit the middle four tracks, you feel entranced in the project unable to step out of it without effort. as you ease into the last two tracks which are the weakest in my opinion, you find yourself wondering what direction he will go and I love that feeling. Consistency is not bad but an artist who can leave you guessing is even better. As one of the first albums released in the new millennium I would say this record perfectly encapsulates the era and sets a great standard for the years to come.

8.3/10

-Hairklipz 28/02/24AV

#ltjbukem #jungle #dnb #downtempo #music #musichistory #musicreview #y2k #2000's #review #writing #blogging #blog #trance

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 07/12/2023

Ganja Man 9: Hash Blunt Hash (Shorty's Stage)

Season 1 Featured on: 7 Gram Dab

Ripped by Trogdorbad

Its kind of funny to think that 7 Gram Dab was one of the first EVER albums on SiIva, isn't it? Well, back in 2016, just four months into the channel's life on the fated day of 4/20, the obvious joke was played into full swing. Just about all rips uploaded put a notable emphasis on the exact sources you'd expect - Snoop Dogg, Because I Got High, and all other kinds of weed-smoking jokes. Honestly, despite their age a lot of the rips from this event do honestly still hold up as being really funny, such as Weed of an Absolution (which has one of my all-time oldest YouTube comments on SiIva!). It was hard to pick just one, but I'm on a bit of a YTPMV kick right now, and Ganja Man 9: Hash Blunt Hash (Shorty's Stage) ticks all the right boxes.

And like, I think that's mainly just because the source its using is pretty timeless? The Snoop Dogg vocal sample of "Smoke Weed Everyday" from the titular song feels like its one of the longest enduring online memes these days - It was big back before even right as early creators like Smosh were spoofing it in their videos, and has stayed relevant primarily through music edits like those of Mowtendoo (Blend W, anyone?). Snoop is, simply put, just a very fun personality to spoof and make fun of, and the actually good flow to his music certainly does help things along. After the rip's opening, it goes from just playing samples to being a full-on mashup of Splash Blue and another Snoop Dogg song, Drop It Like It's Hot - then after the loop, it does both at the same time!

Alright, so, it is still dreadfully simple, but its a simple joke that's done pretty well, part of an equally simple event filled with other gems just like it. 4/20 of 2016 was one of the first SiIvaGunner events I remember being part of, and its fun to look back on just how much the channel has grown since those early days - though the jokes used feel timeless, its creators have grown so much since.

#todays siivagunner #season 1 #siivagunner #siiva #Trogdorbad #mega man #mega man 9 #mega man music #mashup #snoop dogg #420 #mowtendoo #ytpmv #Bandcamp

[iasmelaion]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 💌💛

(no pressure, idk if you like these things or not, but this looked fun)

I don't actually have a "favorite" playlist! lol I usually just let my phone shuffle through my entire music collection, all 10k songs worth. Adjusting the prompt to playlist of favorites, here are the first five songs on shuffle from my 2024 Replay Playlist:

The National - You've Done It Again, Virginia

I didn't think I'd listened to this a lot this year so far? But I guess it does have one of my favorite National lyrics: You're tall, you're long legged and your heart's full of liquor / Me and everybody are just ice in a glass.

Also I've gotten a bunch of fic titles out of this song, lol.

2. Colin Stetson - When We Were That What Wept for the Sea

This came up on shuffle in my car recently and it was just like an instant wave of calm. A deep breath of a song, full of sea air and the sparkle of light on the water. Worth using your finest audio device available for! It's astonishingly immersive.

3. Rosalía - Di Mi Nombre

This one's all about the flamenco influence for me. which lol reminds me that my introduction to flamenco was in an old episode of the Highlander TV show! thanks for that, Duncan McLeod, I guess??

4. Justice - DVNO

Still a banger!

5. Colin Stetson - One Day in the Sun

This is from the same album as #2. Features some neat vocalizations/singing through the sax! I still have no idea how this man manages to do what sounds like three to four wholly separate things on one instrument, with no looping. I've seen him live so I know it's all him, his sax, and some cleverly placed mics, and it still beggars belief.

tagging is scary, but feel free to play along if you want!

#music #meme

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced?

The debut album by Jimi Hendrix and crew is a stunning piece of psychedelic rock. Heavy blues guitar licks are the standard fare here. It lacks the full extent of jazzy exploration that Hendrix's later albums show, but it is still an incredible album. Being the first album from an artist who was always exploring and evolving I'm confused why it is his highest rated album on the list but actually I know why, it's because Are You Experienced has all his biggest hits. The people at Rolling Stone are children after all, jingling keys gets them more excited than artistic expression ever will.

The Beatles - The White Album

Are you fucking kidding me? I honestly thought we were past the point where I would have anything bad to say about the albums on the list. I mean this is supposedly the 29th best album of all time? The White Album is an infamously bloated mess, and what's left when you pate it down still isn't their best work. Correction, the stretch of songs that includes Wild Honey Pie, The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill, While My Guitar Gently Weep, and Happiness Is A Warm Gun is actually their best work. The last of those four being one of my all time favorite Beatles songs. There are some moments of charm but this album is tedious as fuck and includes some of their absolute worst: Glass Onion, Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da, Birthday, Yer Blues, Revolution 1, and of course Revolution 9 should be stricken from reality. This list should be stricken from reality. What a fucking albatross I have wrapped around my own neck.

D'Angelo - Voodoo

My thoughts on this album are very much the same as I had for Brown Sugar. Every song is good, but the album goes on too long. There is a little more variety here and I think the production is a little richer in a way that makes it more listenable, but it is very long. The highlight is probably Left And Right for its features from Redman and Method Man. I actually wouldn't have minded more features. This album is begging for a little more hip hop influence. Either way every D'Angelo album is better than the last and he has a pretty strong starting point. I hope I don't sound too mean I really do like this album I'm just an ADHD queen who cannot focus if an album keeps the same tempo for too long.

Wu-Tang Clan - Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

I'm willing to bet most everyone already knows this is the album that defined East coast hip hop. I've talked about the features before: sparse beats punctuated by haunted piano loops, intense focus on virtuosic flow and rhyming. What Enter The Wu-Tang brings us that no other album can is the entire Wu-Tang Clan all at once. From the slums of Shaolin the Wu-Tang Clan strikes again the RZA, the GZA, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Inspecta Deck, Raekwon The Chef, U-God, Ghostface Killah, and the Method Man. Also Masta Killa and 4th disciple but they aren't listed in the opening of the song Method Man for some reason. The cast of rappers is huge and they all seem to share an incredible delight for the kung-fu kayfabe badass personae that infects the album. And with so many distinct voices on the record it is constantly dynamic, almost manic, in its pace. Plus Enter The Wu-Tang is just full of iconic songs, over half the album is certified hits. No other hip hop record bombards you so constantly with such a huge collection of raw talent.

Patti Smith - Horses

Patti Smith marries art rock poetry with punk rock vulgarity in a way that both makes apparent her role as an early punk artist and leaves her standing somewhere outside of punk itself. Both of the nine minute tracks, Bird land and Horses, take us through a surreal melange of avante garde and 50s rock and roll. The violent cover of The Who's My Generation takes the song and tears it to shreds ending on Smith saying "We created it, let's take it over". And of course there's the lesbian punk anthem Gloria which is a near complete rewrite of a Van Morrison song with the sexual aggression turned up to eleven. All of the covers and musical quoting make the album feel like a quilt made of all the things that influenced Smith's poetry and music. It's the desire to rebel and the feeling of salt of the earth country folk and the musings of a poet all wrapped into one package.

Carole King - Tapestry

Carole King was one of the most prolific and influential songwriters of the 60s so when she sat down to record her own album she brought a decade of experience with her. Tapestry was technically her second solo album, but her debut was poorly produced and didn't showcase her talents well. Tapestry fixes this. It is a time machine to the heyday of 60s pop rock with a fine veneer of nostalgia. Tapestry consists almost entirely of new songs with the exception of Will You Love Me Tomorrow?, and (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman which King gets to record for the first time in her own voice. The combination of tin pan alley arrangements and Kings unadorned and powerful voice make Tapestry a standout album in the world of 70s adult contemporary.

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Whoa really? I was super certain they were gonna put this at number one. Well at a much more modest twenty four here's the most overrated album of all time. Okay yeah I'm gonna trash this album just for fun but it is good, really good. It's just that the praise heaped on it is totally undeserved. So first the good. Sgt. Pepper's is a fantastically jaunty psychedelic tinged album with incredible variety that genuinely shows off each individual member of the group at their best. What it isn't, though, is new or innovative or something that every other band was rushing to copy. It definitely helped bring psychedelic music farther into the mainstream but they were at least a year behind. You know what fuck the negativity I'm doing a 180. The little psychedelic elements, heavy use of sitar, vocal distortion, and the general air of goofing off make Sgt. Pepper's a delightful and easy listen. The wilder ends of the album, the vaudeville Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite! The showtimey bounce of When I'm Sixty-Four or the orchestral freak out on A Day In The Life are kinda what make it. The Beatles manage to seemingly get lost in weird bullshit only to reign it back in. It's a fun album and I've already written too much about these fuckers so bye.

The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico

They were a bunch of classically trained and beat poet types backed up by avant garde singer Nico and managed by Andy Warhol. The Velvet Underground were basically destined to do what they did. Their debut record strikes a weird tense balance between psychedelic rock and minimalist drone as well as being one of many origin points for punk (take a shot every time I say something was an influence on punk music and you'll die). No part of this album isn't a stand out moment from the very beginning where Sunday Morning fakes you out into thinking this will be a normal psychedelic album to the nearly eight minutes of discordant violin on European Son that closes out the album. Nico's vocals add a surreal icy flair to the tracks she sings on and the production is so raw that it feels like the album is deteriorating as you listen.

The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready To Die

The prophetically titled Ready To Die is amazing for showing the actual range of emotion simmering under the surface of 90s hip hop kayfabe. The bravado is always undercut with lyrics that remind us that Biggie knows how far he's come and how fast it happened. He want to present badass machismo but he can't help rapping about a deep underlying depression. Even on the obligatory sex skit the kayfabe falls apart as Biggie and Lil Kim can't help but break into laughter at how stupid the bit is. Biggie's technique is also immaculate. Not only is he good at doing complex rhymes but he can sell very silly lines very well. The line "I got techniques coming out my butt cheeks / sleep on my stomache so I don't fuck up my sheets" lives rent free in my head.

Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run

A lovingly crafted blue collar opera. A street life fairytale. The sweeping highs of Americana come crashing back to earth in a fit of reality. Born To Run is desperate, romantic, dramatic. Every line, every riff, every piano fill is there to make you feel something. There's so much fear and desperation expressed in these eight songs. And they are beautifully composed. There's a true love of rock and roll and a love of the rebellious attitude it represents but with an underlying fear that rebellion isn't actually an escape. As much as I love Nebraska I have to admit this is probably Springsteen's best album. This is one of the best albums period.

#500 album gauntlet #jimi hendrix #the beatles #d'angelo #wu-tang clan #patti smith #carole king #the velvet underground #notorious b.i.g. #bruce springsteen

[kurumeki]

When u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask/tag 10 of your favourite followers✨️🎶

I was tagged by @phant0m-l0rd, thank you! ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

I will list five songs that are stuck in my head lately, and that I simply cannot get enough of.

Black Sabbath / The Sign Of The Southern Cross From Sabbath's album Mob Rules (1981). This song is haunting me lately. Despite the title, it's not about religion really, it's not a reference to Christianity. Southern Cross, also known as Crux, is a constellation of the southern sky that is centred on four bright stars in a cross-shaped asterism. It's about realising how small we are compared to the night sky, and that life itself is much bigger than our what we experience here on Earth. Love Tony Iommi's heavy guitar riff and Geezer's complimentary bass. My favourite line from lyrics: Don't live for pleasure / Make life your treasure / Fade away.

Aerosmith / Draw The Line Title song from their 1977 album. I'm still not very familiar with their discography, but it should be no surprise one of their early releases got me with the groove. The bass line is permanently stuck in my brain, I'm afraid. Classic Aerosmith song that never fails to rail me up to get some very much needed kick of energy.

Judas Priest / Victim Of Changes From their 1976 album Sad Wings Of Destiny. Another album that got me in when I kind of accidentally listened to other two tracks from this album, Dreamer Deceiver and Deceiver (youtube is amazing sometimes with suggesting you stuff). I've been enjoying my journey to the roots of metal, so Judas Priest is a must. Love their heaviness and of course Rob Halford's vocals, my queer icon!

Rainbow / Stargazer Listen. Liiisten. When I first heard this song last year, I seriously wondered under which rock I've been living so far, not knowing this monumental masterpiece. I heard it at the movie premiere "Dio. Dreamers Never Die" (2022) in the cinema and my mind was literally blown. It wasn't even the full song played in the movie, and I was already hooked, obsessed, my brain rewired. I came back home very late, and instead of getting ready to sleep because of work on the next day, I put the song on and... yeah. It's love for life. Ronnie James Dio is a vocal genius there, his emotional performance will always give me chills. Cozy Powell's drum solo intro will never not be iconic. Ritchie Blackmore's guitar solo will never not be a work of art. The song is from their second album Rising from 1976. And in terms of favourite lyrics... hard to pick just one part. Stargazer will forever be in my top ten favourite songs of all time, and I know it will be the same at the day I die, no exaggeration.

MORRIE / あとは野となれ山となれ Speaking of songs that have forever rewired my brain - MORRIE's ultimate masterpiece and "healing song" from his 1992 solo album ロマンティックな、余りにロマンティックな (Romantic, All Too Romantic). It wasn't a love at first listen, but it sure has this unique quality that touches your heart and sends shivers down your spine. This song had to grow on me, but I was completely gone for it, when I was able to hear it live in 2019 at Solitude show in Yokohama O-SITE. He performed it alone on stage, with just the electric guitar, and the arrangement was just slightly different and he used a lot of loop, but it made so much sense to me that version will forever live in my heart. The song is about being eternal, about seasons passing and us being part of the nature's cycle, from the day we're born till we die, and then when we're born again, in human form or not, only to die again and one day just become cosmos nothingness and everything at the same time. I had the pleasure to try translating the lyrics of this song and this part always moves me almost to tears: You can become the star    You can become the sea You can become the wind   You can become the sand And still find the way           To that place Of infinite dream within your heart

If you made it there and read through all of this wall of text - congratulations! Now, my tagged beloved mutuals are:

@mystical-glider, @crash-to-create, @vinidra, @thedevilinbloodminor, @quartzfrost, @ranuunculus, @rayinpixels, @angels-holocaust, @hattoririma, @yridenergyridenergy.

#thingy

[thesinglesjukebox]

BEYONCÉ - "MY HOUSE"

Beyoncé drops too late for the Jukebox revival? Never mind, Wayne’s made sure we’re across it…

[5.43]

Aaron Bergstrom: It can be disorienting to remember that Beyoncé exists on the same plane of existence as the rest of us. After all, she's the alien superstar. She's one of one. Imagine Beyoncé eating a sandwich. It's not like she doesn't have influences, or contemporaries, but she's taken great pains to create a personal aesthetic of otherworldly perfection, and to position her most recent albums as self-contained objects that arrived fully formed, the product of a singular genius. She is above us, beyond us. Then you hear the first thirty seconds of "My House" and you realize, "Oh. Right. Houston." Beyoncé is from Houston. She comes from a lineage that is Southern, Texan, and influenced by identifiable strains of late-'90s and early-'00s hip hop. She does it better than pretty much anyone else, and by the end of the song she has transformed those fairly mainstream reference points into something that probably only she could make, but still. Real person, from Houston. Probably eats sandwiches. [8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: We tend to grade artists on a curve after a certain point. Beyoncé has been making hits since two months before I was born -- how am I supposed to compare her to anyone aside from her? In this context "My House" is too much and not enough all at once. Beyond its literal status as an end credits song, the song still feels like a multilayered rehash -- emulating not only the thrills of Renaissance but also her long tradition of tossed off, post-album cycle excursions in swag rap. "My House" is fun but in its own way slightly threadbare -- it piles on boasts and hooks with an almost haphazard glee, with little regard to how these parts hold together. It's impressive, but only to the extent that "My House" feels like Beyoncé operating at roughly 50 percent of her usual capacity. [6]

Alex Ostroff: A slightly less fluid version of the "Pure/Honey" trick of stitching together two disparate songs. "Pure" started off as a cunty ballroom track, then shifted into the impeccable Vanity 6 riff of "Honey" -- and, importantly, Beyoncé convincingly embodied both modes perfectly. "My House" begins as aggressive rap and pivots into a minimal blippy-bloopy house track. Historically -- since at least a decade ago -- one would expect Bey to pull off the first half of this off more easily than the second. But after immersing herself in the sounds of Renaissance, she's more compelling imperiously telling the audience to get the fuck up out her house over top of chanting vogue crowds and gospel choirs. The first section has promise, but I can't help but wish the instrumental loop was a Homecoming-style marching band with a full drumline and a bunch of tubas instead of synths. Mostly, it makes me wish that Act II fulfills the promise of that "I Been On (Remix)" with Bun B, Scarface, et al. by giving us an entire chopped and screwed Houston rap album of Bey spitting fire. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: The drum programming on this starts off frustratingly bad. If it had been done by an actual drum line before cutting the coals, it would sound good, rather than demo arrangements done to prepare for the rehearsals. The actual arrangement below the chant sounds good -- it's just so flat it can't move, pump or jam. The mediocre choir chorus does work a cappella - it sounds full by at least four voices and ends on a warm note -- and the delicious bass stab towards the back end of the song does help, but it's already too late. This is why we rehearse, and why some songs have good ideas but don't make the album. Would you take off "Plastic Off the Sofa" for this? [3]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang:

Alien Superstar [10]

Heated [10]

Pure/Honey [10]

Plastic off the Sofa [9]

I'm that Girl [9]

Cuff It [9]

Cozy [9]

Virgo's Groove [8]

America Has a Problem [8]

Break My Soul [8]

Church Girl [8]

Thique [8]

Energy [8]

My House [7]

Move [7]

All Up in Your Mind [7]

Summer Renaissance [7]

*Subject to change [7]

Katherine St Asaph: One producer Beyoncé continually re-hires is The-Dream, even as her former, once-feted collaborators disappear from her unsparingly curated house. Hey, about that, remember how he was accused of assaulting his pregnant ex-girlfriend last decade? But it's not like this was enjoyable before I knew who produced it, either. [3]

Will Adams: Basically Renaissance's "7/11": a throwaway track, only mildly fun, ultimately a distraction from its otherwise exquisite parent album. That alone is enough of a disappointment from Beyoncé; in light of recent pushback, though, a lyric like "let's heal the world, one beautiful action at a time" makes it that much more eyebrow-raising. [4]

Taylor Alatorre: When I was young, I used to annoy my dad all the time during TV commercial breaks, asking why McDonald's or Coca-Coca had to run advertisements when every living person on the planet already knows what they are. Of course, at the age of seven, I had no knowledge of concepts like brand perception, market share, consumer loyalty -- for me the only purpose of an ad was to inform you that a product exists. However, there is something to the idea that companies often devote an excessive share of resources to marketing and PR as opposed to improving the quality of their goods and services, so maybe my seven-year-old self wasn't completely off-base. It is in that spirit that I ask: why does Beyoncé need to release a song like this when she is Already Beyoncé? [3]

Alfred Soto: Enough already. [5]

Brad Shoup: She's most believable on "get the fuck up out of my house": she strings the vogue and Dirty South sounds together like a top-of-the-line security system. I guess anything could be a revolution if you're the sun. [5]

Ian Mathers: I think the thing that most surprised me about "My House" is that it doesn't just sound like an end credits song, it sounds like a whole bunch of them. The part where the track downshifts feels just like when the credits cut from the maximalist, triumphant "credits song" that tends to get promoted as such to another track (usually by another artist, or maybe even just from the score). You can practically hear it switching to the part where each line of the credits has like four people in a row. But, crucially, it sounds like it does so for one hell of a movie. [8]

Micha Cavaseno: Y'know, of all the nostalgia ticks for Beyoncé to hit on a recent single... I wouldn't exactly have figured we'd get proto-crunk Atlanta Rap in the style of Hitman Sammy Sam while doing the cadence of Chuck Roberts to be something she'd go for. Transitioning it into electro-house rather than indulging in a brief detour over to Atlanta Bass is understandable, but I can't help but that might've been a perfect piece de résistance. Nevertheless, it's perfectly solid music that features Knowles really continuing to rely on dancefloor rollers instead of pop smashes or R&B storms to keep her concerts heavily anchored. She's clearly transitioned into a touring event rather than a mainstream presence, and it makes perfect sense the more she transitions into her "mother" stage: career, personal life, Beyhive Queen analogies, the gay icon definition... whatever perception you prefer. Beyoncé is now a force to herself in the way that few pop stars are lucky to solidify themselves as, and Knowles knows that her ship runs on fuel and showcase, less on staking and striving. [6]

David Moore: I didn't begrudge Renaissance its world-beating rep, but at the same time there was something inaccessible to me about the project; the whole thing seemed like if you ever tried to really touch it, someone would brusquely remind you to stay behind the rope. More than any other celebrity archetype, Beyoncé reminds me of a television star of the '90s who made the prestige move to cinema and never looked back, even as television and cinema merged into the same formless blob of Engaging Artistic Narrative Content: she's like George Clooney or Jennifer Aniston, carrying the torch of a pop culture upward mobility that everyone says they've moved past even though they still treat the legacy holdouts with the reverence of a bygone era. Of course, Beyoncé's music is usually much better than anything George Clooney or Jennifer Aniston does. (Usually.) [5]

Oliver Maier: A microcosm of the Renaissance experience: expertly put together, more structurally inventive and surprising than the vast majority of pop music currently doing the rounds, never electrifying. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#music #music writing #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

[blizzardsuplex]

hiya mel :) for the song asks: (3) what are three songs you have been recently obsessed with?

Hey, Sledge! These are my three must plays rn:

Hand-Me-Down Tune by the Avett Brothers -> thanks to @trentreznorgf for introducing me to this album. Lovely and so sincere...which is this song in a nutshell. I love lullaby-type songs and the lyrics are my favorite on the entirety of Emotionalism. As someone who sings a lot but has doubts about if it's even worth it to often, I relate a lot to the sentiment that "you deserve the best; an anthem, not my hand-me-down tune" with people I love.

I Don't Think Much About Her No More by Mickey Newbury -> another country song that I love for many of the same reasons sonically, but the lyrics are just...if you've ever had an old relationship, platonic or otherwise, that you miss but time has scabbed over, this is the song for you. Legitimately I would believe this song was an old folk song or poem instead of being written by one guy in 1969 if you just showed me the lyrics. "I don't think much about her no more; seldom, if ever, does she cross my mind. Yesterday's gone, and it's better forgotten—it's like a poison red berry that clings to the vine". Also: key change that doesn't make me feel weird until I get used to it!

She's a Jar by Wilco -> tricky af vocal melody over four chords that still manages to be addictive (it's the Mellotron). The lyrics are just....wow. fantastic song that I just can't stop looping despite nearly being 5 mins long LOL. "When I forget how to talk, I sing; won't you please bring that flash to shine and turn my eyes red?—unless they close when they click and my face gets sick; stuck, like a question unposed."

#ask game #Thank you very much for the ask!!!

[swordarmsaxelegs]

Hi :) I was tagged by @macleod to be a part of this chain. Here's my top 5 songs on repeat (in no particular order)

Shinedown - What a Shame

Shinedown is one of my favourite bands of all time and this song is from my favourite album that they released. It was hard to narrow it down to just one song of theirs to include in this list, so I thought about a recent playlist I've been listening to and decided that this the one I have been most likely to loop out of all of them.

Shinedown is pretty mainstream among metal/alt-rock fans, but if you're not familiar with them or even if you're not usually a fan of those genres then I recommend checking them out. Some of their songs on this album kind of border country territory. I have also listened to some of their more recent post-grunge stuff and think it's a bit pop-y, so I'm sure there's something everyone would enjoy.

Vansire - Metamodernity

I don't have much to say about this one. A girl I had a crush on once used this song as background noise in her Instagram story. I'm not sure anymore if I like this song because of her or if I like her because of this song. All I can say is that there was a couple of months where I would only listen to this.

Tom Cardy - Level Clear!

I haven't been able to get enough of this song since Mr. Cardy posted it four months ago and it is embarrassing. If you're not familiar with his work, Tom makes silly musical videos for Tik Tok and YouTube. I love his videos, he's very creative and entertaining, but this song has no right to go this hard.

Allie X - Old Habits Die Hard

I could probably list Allie X as a top 5 artist on repeat. She was my introduction to the synth pop genre and I think her music is consistently great. I picked this song specifically because it's a lot of fun and one that I'm always excited to hear when it comes on shuffle. As for an album I would recommend, most of her songs that I listen to come from Collxtion, No 1. This song in particular appears on two albums, but I haven't personally listened to the newer version of the song. I'm sure it's great, though.

System of a Down - Aerials

I am very sorry to include this one in the list, but it would be wrong of me not to. One time I was listening to this song so much that it started to become a problem for me. I would try to sleep and this song would be on loop in my brain. I tried learning all of the lyrics so I could sing it to myself because I read that songs get stuck in your head because your brain likes to see things through to the end, but then that just made it worse. I didn't even play this video before sharing it here because I'm scared that if I do it will happen again. This is absolutely one of my all time favourite songs and also I would like to start a conspiracy that System of a Down songs are so weird because they're trying to lock us into a trance.

As a bonus, I was thinking of including Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box because there was a period where I would listen to that song a lot, but I figured everybody on Tumblr can probably say the same thing and I had to limit this to only five songs.

I haven't been very talkative on here since I came back a few years ago, so I don't have anybody to tag in this. If you see this post and think it would be fun to participate then feel free to share your own top 5 and tag me in it :) Maybe it could turn out to be a way to make some new friends on here :D

#chain #music #shinedown #tom cardy #allie x #system of a down #vansire #nirvana #metamodernity #old habits die hard #level clear! #what a shame #aerials #heart shaped box #the sound of madness #metal #synth pop #dream pop #pop music #rock music #alternative rock #nu-metal #alternative metal #post-grunge #progressive metal #heavy metal #Youtube

[poisonhemloc]

taco truck stuff

i got the entire ‘truck crashes, Gossan loses an eye, and Feldspar goes missing’ sequence written up

though im. not gonna post it yet. thinking about it still

so instead random headcanons!

Graphite (buddy’s hatchling) will go fishing with Gabbro (and sometimes their buddy Spinel) periodically. There’s usually a ‘use sign only’ rule in place to avoid scaring off fish.

Graphite also, as well as the plaid kilt and scarf, wears two different shoes. Not, totally different, but same brand, different color, depending on Vibes Of The Day

Esker gets to be a cowfolk in this au knows how to lasso people and things as necessary. They have the fancy belt buckles you win and everything. They do not tell the younger four ‘founders’ about this. Until they’re feeling mischievous and Feldspar and Mica are roughhousing a little too close to something dangerous (The trucks live at the mechanic’s shop, Feldspar is early for a shift, Mica spends a lot of time at the shop) and Esker just. Grabs some rope. Lassos them both together. Drags them outside past surprised but not gonna say anything Slate and leaves them tied up in the shade somewhere. Esker never answers the questions, Slate puts on noise cancelling headphones, and they’re stuck outside til Gossan shows up.

There are a bunch of seasonal stuff for the trucks- honestly it’s more environmentally friendly but I mostly have variations of the Traveler’s Taco

There’s a raspberry/strawberry version called ‘Moments Before The End’ (based on sun’s color before end of time loop) that a lot of people don’t order cause they think it’s Feldspar level of spicy

it isn’t

but Feldspar adds cinnamon to the waffle cone batter they make, and they’ll do a mango and habenero ice cream taco with mango marshmallows (Called ‘Here Comes The Sun)

...So Granite is into this au’s version of Fall Out Boy because the new album is part of why this au exists but I think the band’s name in the au is like. Supernova Hatchling

Gabbro will listen to everything and generally enjoy it but they’ll go for jazz if left to their own devices

Gossan and Esker like country but! Crucially! the new christofacist country bs doesn’t exist in this universe it’s the ‘man did me wrong on the run from the law gonna go sit and drink’ type stuff

Slate likes metal music. They have shared this love with Mica who has gotten themself and Slate in trouble by playing some of the more profanity laden tracks when they’re not supposed to.

#Poisonhemloc’s rambles #outer wilds taco truck au #one day im gonna try a couple of the travelers taco variants but its gonna have to be with sugar cones

[still-single]

Nusidm – The Last Temptation of Thrill LP (Bruit Direct)

Ten brilliantly confounding provocations from Brisbane warlock Glen Schenau (Per Purpose, Cured Pink, Bent, earlier in Kitchen's Floor, amidst others). Moods fall to various recognizable styles (postpunk lord, croonin' Iggy full-chestal shake, soccer hooligan), buttressed by everything-is-a-drum percussion, a whole mess of dissonant struck-string/tin can telephone loops, and unconventional lead instrument choices. But there's a spatial placement to these aggravated sounds that seats them at odd distances to your ear (some right next to, some from two rooms over), which gives the whole album a "shreds" quality that transcends the notion that music is some sort of joke. If "Tagging My Friends" or anything else here sounds like four songs being played at once, I'm taking the over: I just heard four new songs in a way that radically saved my time (and as we know, time is of the essence). There's something about the very treatment of these riffs and the coating they're given, like how the fairly easy/weird groove of "Melody Moody - The Re-Incision" becomes menacing over the runtime, that lands the same way The Shadow Ring tended to land, same as the Pheromoans, and let's all land there on stilts. (https://bruit-direct.org) (Doug Mosurock)

#Bandcamp