#just tryna stay active :'( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brighttears · 9 months

Text

Safe

Joel Miller x reader

no physical description, no use of y/n

Summary: After a startle at breakfast in Jackson, Joel calms you down from a panic attack.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: graphic depictions of panic attack, negative self talk, pet names (baby, honey, sweetheart, darling)

A/n: just a lil somethin :3 also the panic attack is based off of personal experience just in case anyone is sus im not makin this shit up lol

—

Culture shock is the perfect term to use in relation to what it's like coming into Jackson after months on the road. It’s bright, vividly colored, large, loud, and always so fucking busy. You haven’t been around this many people since Boston, but so much has changed since then. It's been a few weeks now, but you still haven’t even figured out how to let your guard down.

The dining hall is the worst part of the day. You will yourself to come and eat because you believe it is good for you, you need to get used to it, and you don’t want to other yourself by taking your plate outside. You feel separated enough already, like a wild animal being introduced into a zoo enclosure. But god, the scrapping utensils on plates, chewing, so much conversation, boisterous laughing, people getting up and down from their seats; so much open space with so much activity, you can barely keep your eyes down enough to be able to look at the food you’re trying to get into your mouth. But Joel is always right there with you, with a comforting hand on your thigh, grounding both you and him, eyes flicking around just as much as yours, and a matching sigh of relief once you make it back outside, with a ‘We did it’ or ‘Good job sweetheart’ to pick your spirits up.

You don’t know what it is about today; nothing you can put your finger on, just some uneasy feeling that you woke up with. Some days are just like this, though, like a scratch you can’t itch somewhere in your brain, irritating your nervous system until whatever it is decides to let you out of its clutches.

“Come on honey, time to go,” Joel says from the door as he pulls his jacket on. You let out a deep breath, staring out of the kitchen window with your arms crossed over your chest, an absentminded hand smoothing over your throat. Squeezing your arm with your other hand, you will yourself to move, leave the house, go down to the dining hall. Its just breakfast, just breakfast, just fucking breakfast. Come on. You can do this. You’ve been through much, much worse than this. Come on.

“Hey,” Joel’s voice sounds suddenly from right behind you and you jump, sucking in a breath with a defensive hand jutting out towards him.

“Fuck.” You breath back out, leaning down and pulling your hand back to you electrified chest, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You shake your head, guilty and embarrassed for reacting like that to Joel, who you know wouldn’t even dream of hurting you.

“It’s alright darlin’, it’s alright. You’re ok.” He coos.

Blinking hard, you nod, “Yeah, sorry, you just startled me. I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t tryna sneak up on ya,”

“No, I know, it’s just… I don’t know, I just feel… off today.” You say as you straighten up.

Joel meets you slowly, placing his hands on your arms. “You wanna just stay in this mornin’? I can go grab the food or have Tommy or Maria—”

“No, no, I can do it.” You interrupt him and swallow hard.

“You sure? There’s no shame in—”

“No,” you shake your head, “I’m fine. It’s fine. I’ve been through worse.” You smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

Joel returns a light smile. His eyes fall to your lips, and he leans in for a quick kiss before turning back to the door. His touch relaxes your shoulders and you take one more deep breath before following him outside. As you start down the road, his arm slides around your waist. Even just a small gesture like this from your man makes you feel safer. When you feel his breaths, deliberately deep and even, you follow suit, and the two of you prepare for the upcoming onslaught of breakfast. Despite your efforts, though, you can feel your heartbeat quicken as you near the doors.

As you enter, Joel’s arm slips from around you but you grasp each other's hands as you walk to the table that Tommy and Maria are already sat waiting at, both giving you a smile as you come to your seats.

“A bit late this morning.” Maria says.

“Slept in?” Tommy winks.

“No, uh, just, late morning, I guess.” Joel replies, not meeting their eyes, instead instinctively sweeping them over the room. You keep your own eyes locked on the table.

“You ok?” Maria asks. When you look up, there’s concern in her eyes.

“Yeah, fine.” You throw a smile and look back down at the table, still linked to Joel by your hands.

“Well food’s out and ready, we were just about to grab our own plates.” You hear Tommy.

“Alright,” Joel says, letting go of your hand and moving to get up from his seat. Just as you finally let your gaze up from the table, a crash and a scream sounds from nearby, and without even thinking, you’re suddenly on your feet, stanced ready, a hand on your empty hip and an arm swung back towards Joel. A yelp escapes from your throat and your entire body is rigid and burning with panic, chest twisted so tight it won’t let you breathe, teeth clamped so hard it hurts.

Then, silence. All there is is your breath, jumping like snapped rubber bands, and the blood rushing in your ears. Eyes still pinned open, you force your neck to move and look around you. Hundreds of eyes look back at you. Everyone is staring. However, your head is empty of embarrassment, still full of threat, threat, threat, threat, threat.

“It’s alright, honey,” sounds from behind you, then a hand on your arm, and you switch your stance to face the touch, grabbing the hand while your other fumbles for the weapon that is not on your hip.

“It’s me, it’s jus’ me, baby, it’s alright, it’s me.”

Your eyes blink rapidly as Joel’s face comes into focus, the blurry haze of panic slowly starting to clear.

When you try to speak, your breaths stab out from your lungs. “What happened?” You finally get out.

“Nothin’, sweetheart, someone just dropped somethin’. It’s ok. You’re safe. It’s alright.” He tells you, hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “It’s alright.” He whispers, focusing your eyes on his. “It’s alright.”

“Are you ok?” You hear yourself say.

His thumbs stroke your cheeks as he replies, “I’m fine. Nothin’ happened. We’re safe, baby. We’re safe.”

Though your brain is beginning to process and trust his words, you can’t move, only tremble.

“Alright, let’s get you outta here.” Joel’s eyes come away from yours to flick around you, and that’s when you remember where you are. Muscles moving in snapping spurts, your neck jerks left and right, and still, hundreds of eyes look back at you. Now with room enough for it, embarrassment burns your entire face and neck.

“It’s alright, honey,” you hear Joel, thumbs stroking your cheeks, bringing your attention back to him in front of you, “let’s jus’ get you outta here.” He nods, then shifts to beside you, one arm around your waist with his other hand rubbing your shoulder. You keep your head bowed, steps jagged with full body tremors.

As soon as the outside air hits you, you begin to gasp, barely realizing that you’re sobbing. Joel catches you before you collapse. There's the panic, still shooting through you’ve been eletrocuted, but the humiliation is a whole other kind of overwhelming. “Fuck.” You cry into Joel. You bury your face deep into his shirt and jacket to muffle the screams that you can’t hold in. He squeezes his arms around you, rubbing your back, his chin resting on top of your head, whispering, “It’s alright, baby. It’s alright.”

“I’m such a fucking idiot.” You let out into him in between bawls. “I fucking hate this. I hate this.”

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. Come on, let’s get you back up to the house.”

Your trembling legs continue to betray you and you can’t get yourself to move.

“I can’t–I can’t move.” You admit.

“Alright, t’s alright, come on, baby,” He reassures, then hoists you up into his arms. Like a child, you wrap your legs around him, keeping your face buried in his collar, squeezing your eyes shut and attempting—with little success—to calm your breaths. The sobs fall out of you unrelenting as a waterfall.

By the time you get to the house, your breathing has calmed some, but the shaking won’t stop. When Joel sets you on the ground you hobble up the short steps to the porch and through the door, and he keeps a comforting arm around you as he guides you to sit on the couch. He kneels down before you, stroking your cheek with his hand, trailing his eyes over your panicked frame before focusing them on yours.

“Deep breaths, baby, t’s alright. Deep breaths.” He starts them and you follow, breathing deeply in through your nose, holding, and blowing out through your mouth.

“Where are we?” He asks.

“At the–the house.”

“Where’s the house, baby?”

“Jackson. In Jackson.”

“Thas’ right,” Joel cups your face, “we’re at the compound. We’re safe here, sweetheart. I promise. We’re safe. Nothin’s gonna hurt you.” He nods, you swallow hard and then let out another shaky breath and nod with him.

Your trembling shoe taps the floor. When you still it, your shoulders start to shake. “Fuck.” You close your eyes, cursing yourself. “I’m so fucking stupid, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, you’re not stupid. How many times you been here with me like this? This stuff happens. You’re not stupid. T’s alright. Look at me baby,” you do, and he repeats, “T’s arlight. You’re not stupid.” Joel shakes his head, eyes still keeping yours. One hand shifts down to your fist, which you hadn’t even noticed bring clenched closed. “Let me get you some water.”

When he moves to get up, your hand shoots out to grip the lapel of his jacket. “Don’t leave.”

“I’m not leavin’, sweetheart. I’m jus’ goin’ to the kitchen. I’ll be right over there. Won’t take two seconds.” Joel gently takes your hand off of his coat, raising his eyebrows with a reassuring look, then gets to his feet. You turn on the couch, watching him go to the sink to fill up a glass for you. “I’m right here, see?” He says on his way back to you. You nod, eyes staying trained on him as he kneels back down in front of you. When the cup shakes in your hand, he keeps his on it, delicately helping it to your lips. The water cools your throat, helping you to ground yourself. You empty it into your throat and then take a couple more deep breaths. “That feel better?” You nod. “Alright.” Joel sighs, setting the glass down on the floor next to him to take your face in his hands again, then bringing his face up to kiss your forehead. “Alright, baby.” He says again. “This stuff happens. I get the same way, I bet plenty a people in there have done the same thing. T’s a lot in there. You’re not used to all that. Neither am I. Todays just a bad day, huh?” You sniffle and nod. “Now, you’re not stupid. Ok?”

“Ok.” you finally speak.

“Alright. You wanna go lay down?” You nod, voicebox still not too confident. “Come on, darlin’.” Joel lets go of your face, reaching one hand around your back and the other to your legs for you to shift into his arms bridal style. You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in his collar, inhaling his scent of love and safety as the stairs creak under Joel’s feet taking you upstairs.

When you look up at him as he lets you down on the bed, his brow is furrowed with concern and there's sadness in his deep eyes.

Ashamed, you instantly look away. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to make you worry.”

“Baby I’m gonna worry no matter what you do.” He sits down on the bed next to you and strokes his hand over your cheek again, “You did nothin’ wrong. Don’t go hatin’ yourself for it. It’s not like you did this on purpose. Right?”

You shake your head and lean into his touch. Joel’s eyes land on your lips and remain there until he leans in to kiss you, slipping your bottom lip between his, and you reach your hands up to hang onto him. Knitting your hands into his locks with his stubbly cheek under your hand, you indulge in him.

Pulling away, he says, “Lay down with me, darlin’,” already with his hand on your back to slowly guide your back down on the bed. He keeps his head above you to meet your lips again, gentle yet firm, honeyed and warm. Closing your eyes, the pressure of his body next to yours, hand on your waist, and his lips on yours begins to relieve the pressure in your bones. Slowly, you feel yourself relaxing, though your foot still twitches in your boot, the residual aftermath of a panic attack.

Joel’s hand smooths over your cheek as he deepens the kiss, the sigh from his nose breathed over your face. When he pulls away, he shifts his arms to rest his hands on your face and stroke his thumbs over your cheeks. His eyes wander over you with lazy lids, his brow still lightly furrowed and bottom lip slightly pouted and wet from your mouth. He sighs again, then whispers “I love you so much.”

“I love you.” You whisper back, looking over his face.

Joel leans down to rub his nose back and forth over yours, then sprinkles light kisses over your cheeks, forehead, by your ear, the corner of your mouth, and over your jaw. Then he shifts his body to lie down, tilting your hips towards him with a soft “C’mere,” and you lay your head on his chest, bending your knee to rest your leg over his. Closing your eyes and inhaling again, you let your body weigh into his and grip his lapel. Tears ball up in the corner of your eyes.

You used to lay like this frequently on the road, keeping each other close, hanging on to the only sanity you knew. The lack thereof surrounding you protected you enough from falling asleep despite the relaxation it granted you, and you’d do it to watch the sun rise or set whenever you could catch it. When you did sleep though, you’d stay united, someone’s head on each other’s chest or leg.

On the same train of thought as you, Joel speaks, the bass in your ear on his chest, “Maybe sometime we could actually fall asleep like this.”

“Not now, I can’t sleep now.” You mumble.

“I know, darlin’. Too worked up for it now.” His hand brushes up and down your back, “T’s alright. Jus’ layin’.” Joel smacks a kiss on the top of your head, then sighs again, your head rising and falling with it, and wraps both arms around you. “We got time. N’ we’ll get used to it here. Get used to bein’ safe.”

487 notes · View notes

filmofhybe · 6 months

Note

Could I request for Enhypen? Enha & their s/o shopping/on a date and someone comes up to flirt with their s/o in front of them. And the person is actively ignoring Enha lmao

shopping date interference

pairing : ot7! x reader genre : fluff warning : jealousy , arguing , disgusting comments towards reader , swearing. 1023 words

a/n : skl is tmr i have never wanted to skip so bad. But is okay I got jungwon’s lip balm that will get me going. I also wanna cry cuz aot has officially ended. I’m not ok.

> Masterlist to my other works

희 승 heeseung + 박종성 Park Jeongseong + 성훈 Sunghoon

the ones that seems like they won’t notice at the very beginning. But they knew it since the beginning. For example, they would be paying for the stuff you want while your just standing behind them. Than suddenly a guy walks towards you and start flirting with you. You absolutely ignoring him and just wish they finish paying FAST. They obviously know he’s there, eardropping all the disgusting flirtatious comments they are making towards you. Wants to punch them so hard and won’t hesitate even if they are in a store. Because you deserve to get treated with respect and love. Drags you out after threatening them.

“Babe I’ll pay for this, just stay close with me alright?” He said as he walked towards the cashier. You trailing behind him because he said to stay close to him.

Your thoughts was interrupted as a stranger approaches you. “Hey gorgeous how’s your day?”

silence.

“Aww don’t ignore me bubs. Your so cute bet you’re just shy.”

silence.

“don’t be shy around me I don’t bite.”

silence.

“That would be $456 sir.”

“Aww look at your little man paying for you! I can get you some stuff as well if you want.”

“I hope you shut that disgusting mouth of yours and leave my girlfriend alone.” He says as he grabs your hand, ready to leave.

“Wow calm down I was just offering her things!”

“Well she clearly doesn’t want the stuff your offering.”

“Why are you talking for her?”

“Maybe cause she’s scared of you? If you can’t stop talking, maybe we should take it somewhere else and it’s not gonna end well for you.”

He judged that disgusting man before taking you out of the store.

“Are you alright baby? I’m so sorry I didn’t step in faster I’m just so furious that people are talking to you like that.”

“Is okay love. I just don’t want to give him attention so that’s why I ignored him.”

“Such a good girl, that’s why you deserve everything I’m getting you today and my love forever.”

にしむらりき Nishimura Riki +정원 jungwon

these two boys would be so confused what’s going on. Let’s just say they are jealous but they put their whole trust on you. They would 100% step in when it gets too far. But you would just drag them away because you think they are being super disrespectful, the way they are ignoring your boyfriend and the disgusting comments towards you. Nah they are basically disrespecting both of you. Clueless babies that just stares at you afterwards but acts all cuddly because they heard the stuff they said about you.

“Hey cutie how are you?” a random guy just came up to you. Catching you off guard. Your boyfriend was aware of the guy’s presence but he wants to know what he’s going to do before stepping in.

You never answer him because no man deserves your attention besides your boyfriend.

“Hey stop ignoring me. I just want to know you more!”

“Maybe a drink or something? Will that get me to know you more?”

“Maybe we can even go shop around that cute lingeri-”

“Are you blind or are you just going to ignore u have a boyfriend? You basically disrespecting both of us?”

“Babe I’m not? I’m just tryna chat you up. You boyfriend aren’t even-”

“Maybe just leave us alone? My girlfriend clearly doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Fuck her she’s being a bit-”

Before he can even finish his sentence, you dragged your boyfriend away. Storming off while anger is building inside of you. No one is going to disrespect you while your just trying to have a chill and relaxed shopping date.

“I’m so sorry he’s being disrespectful towards you. He can clearly see I have a boyfriend. Ugh I hate man sometimes.”

“You hate man?”

“Well you get what I mean but it’s never going to be you love…”

“This is why I love you and I put so much trust in you.”

선우 Sunoo + 심재윤 Sim Jaeyun

The ones that would make fun of him. Icl they would start making fun of him until it gets too far. They would go full on protective mode. And the fact they know he’s ignoring their presence makes his blood boil. Starts spitting out curse words at them making them take back everything they had said. Starts laughing again after you guys are out of his sight.

“Hey lovely you free?” Another day another man coming up to you. You were sick and tired of it atp because you clearly have a boyfriend, that your currently in his arms.

“Did he just came up to you wobbling and ask are you free?” Your boyfriend whispered into your ears making you chuckled before focusing on the guy that’s in front of you both. You clearly having a uninterested expression in.

“I hope that’s your brother beside you cuz your really cute, especially the skirt your wearing.” Okay that’s when he cross the line cuz why the hell is he looking at your skirt?

“That’s my boyfriend not my brother.”

“But is it okay if I get your number? Just as frien-”

“She just said im her boyfriend do you need your ears fucking checked? What the actual fuck is wrong with you..?”

“I actually don’t need a check up I just want her num-”

“Your clearly ignoring my boyfriend’s presence and I rejected your offer so no.”

Both of your blood was boiling as you walked pass him. Bumping into him as you both left him speechless and embarrassed.

“BABE STOP DID YOU SEE HIS FACE?”

“NAH WE CUSSED HIM OUT GOOD?!”

“This is why we are meant for each other.”

“Always love you know we do the funniest things together.”

series taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @skepvids @amymyli @in-somnias-world @okjaeminn @nonotwice1 @thinkmyg @blubbfsh

Reblog , comment or dm to be on my perm taglist !

networks : @k-films @k-neighborhood @k-labels @kflixnet

158 notes · View notes

mazeofyeni · 8 months

Text

(🔴) ... [ NOW PLAYING ] [NCTZEN-MADE] CECE BEING LOVED BY NCT !

❛intro❜ : if you ever think you’re the best cece stan , that you love her more than anything – remember you will never love her as much as nct does 🥰

CLIP ONE !

nct 127 simping over cece

*cece coming to visit the nct 127 members on set* “cece is on set today , she’s come to visit me” *doyoung side eyeing haechan* “she’s here to see everyone , stop lying to the camera.” *jaehyun crushing haechans delusions💔* *yuta wrapping his arms around cece* “are you on your way home?” *shaking her head* “me mark and johnny oppa are going to a concert.” *🐰 hearing this* “yah ! but everytime i ask if you want to eat , you’re alway busy.” *angry doie* *127 laughing at doyoungs pain once again* “we’ll get food soon oppa” *happy doie* “your outfit looks nice , you might get cold though.” *taeyong being a worried mother , fixing her shirt* “and this skirt is too short , be careful,” *cece is embarrassed* “oppa.” *127 cooing at her* “i’m embarrassed.” *johnny finally coming back* *handing her a jacket😭😭*!”dreamies have a schedule tomorrow and you don’t need to be sick.” “mark asked the staff for it don’t worry” *mark taking care of cece a never ending saga* “okay have fun , don’t stay out to long cece.” *mark and johnny are confused* “oh yeah you two stay safe , don’t let her go to far alone” *taeyong does not gaf about all that just that his child is safe😭*

CLIP TWO !

wayv trying to steal cece from nct dream

*preparing for nct 2020* *yangyangs first time talking about her ever on camera* “cece is here now.” *points camera* “where.” *ten coming from the wood works* “cece , my baby!” *ten and his i raised cece agenda* “come my baby.” *this was the first time we’ve seen cece and wayv in the same frame* “wayv!” *czennies were shocked , we didn’t think they knew each other 😭/hj* “she’s our new wayv member , we’re stealing her from the dreamies.” *hendery is deadass* “yeah i’m learning chinese , give me a few months , i’ll be in the new comeback.” *dreamies are across the studio sobbing right now* “i’ll be the maknae though , that means kun has to do everything for me and not you yang yang.” *kun is in shock* “i don’t mind.” *hendery tryna figure out why yangx2 isn’t being a menace* *ten peeping it too* “oh i have to go , i’ll see you guys.” *walks away* “our yangyang is growing up.” *yangx2 is embarrassed 😭*

CLIP THREE !

cece being too cute for the dreamies

*context: cece was in the states during the dreamies 7th anniversary so she couldn’t attend the live* *jeno actively talking**mark laughing* “cece is trying to facetime me.”*the dreamies completely forgetting the objective at hand* “answer it” *like okay haechan calm down😭* *answers it* “i just dyed my hair , does it look pretty?” *mark being the first person she calls is so cute🥹* *a little more context: she doesn’t know they’re live-streaming* “we’re live ce.” “i’m sorry , i’ll call you back .” *dreamies still hyping her up* “no it’s okay , you still look pretty” “thank you” “she’s so cute” *jisung forgetting he has a mic on* “cece say hi to the camera” “hello czennies , it’s our 7 years as nct dream , thank you for staying with us this long , sorry i can’t be there , i hope to see you guys soon.” *the staff behind the camera are confused but let go* “alright we have to go , i’ll call you later.” “mm okay , love you.” *mark we see that smile* “that was our cece” *our cece🥹😭*

CLIP FOUR ! (💬nia’s notes: text like this - eng)

cece and her representative oppa johnny

*cece doing a live* “i haven’t been able to do lives , so im glad i can do this.” *phone rings* “it’s johnny oppa” *look at that smile🥹* *answers it* “hello?” “where are you?” “on the 7th floor.” “oh you’re at the company , good.” *hangs up* *confused cece* “what is wrong with him?” *shrugs* “oh well.” *5 minutes later* “the door flys open , scaring her” *johnny cackling is so sinister* “oppa!” *she’s stressed* “your face was so funny” *cece rethinking her life choices* “what do you want?” *hands her a bag* “these are the snacks you wanted , i thought you left , i was gonna give them to manager to give it to you , but since you’re here i brought it so that i could see you.” *johnny please🥹* “ah , thank you thank you.” “did you settle in okay?” *talking about her moving into her own apartment* “i still need to put my couch together , i tried to do it with renjun but we didn’t get anywhere.” *johnny to the rescue* “i’ll come the next time i’m not busy” *princess treatment* “i’ll treat you for your help” “don’t worry about it , you need a couch , i have to go , i’ll call soon.” *head pats , look at the fucking head pats😭💔* “bye bye”

CLIP FIVE !

chenle simping for cece

*dance practice bts* “everyone take a break” *chenle sits down on the floor* *cece sees her target* “chenle” *get y’all someone who smiles at you like that😭* *lays down on the floor , her head in his lap💔* “i’m hungry.” *look at that pout , she knows how to play the game* “hungry , what do you want?” *chenle about to leave practice to get her food* “ramen?” *shakes head* “chicken?” *shakes head* “what then?” *cece shrugs* *his ass can’t even be frustrated because he’s so in love he can’t help but smile* *grabs her cheeks* “ah cute! i’ll get you something after okay?” *he’s so in love🥰*

❛outro❜ : there are so many more clips but i’ll leave it here , i’m just glad our cece has a bunch of people who love and appreciate her ❗️ , she’s so loved💔😭.

©️MAZEOFYENI

#fictional idol addition #fictional idol community #fictional idol oc #fictional kpop community #fictional kpop oc #fictional kpop idol #nct female addition #nct addition #nct dream female member #nct dream addition #nct dream 8th member #nct 24th member #nct female member #nct female oc #nct dream female addition #cece (content)

271 notes · View notes

youdlovemetodeath · 1 month

Note

heyyyyyy Ozzy do you know any cool people I could follow...

I'm tryna get more mutuals. Just one more. But I'm running out of places to find them.

Please I really want to do a freaking hunger games like rose or raynie and I am literally so friggin close PLEASE GIVE ME COOL PEOPLE TO FOLLOW

-Robin/RJ

i have like over a hundred mutuals-

fuck ok. there’s dew i-fucked-both-your-parents (husband) noah listen-i-love-men (never active but he’s my husband and i love him) finley ademonfromhell (my girlfriend) hauntedaether/originsradio + transdogday (qpps) goldenskies48 (my father /j)

tomscryingcorner icefireanimates phosphorus-noodles gumy-shark blvd-sys neohood if-loki-was-a-fox rhyme-draws-stuff cloverstellar possuminnit crimeboys cquackity aro-throughyourchest maybe0rdinary wiiwarechronicles wormsinsdirt transfemzedaph oil-bh bronzetomatoes ch3rry-drywall cupcraft epicaxolotls its-arson-time sunshinetrinket waddei polyamquackity phantoids apileofmoss ratedc transbeeduo girlboyzone boygirlctommy bouquetofalliums jamsiies 1wn8ure tjodity indigo-flightly-falls batterbees/batteryneutral

this is nowhere NEAR all of them there are so many cool people i’ve definitely missed (and i’m so sorry) but yeah. there’s a few

also i removed all the @s but the links stayed??? so if anyone here gets notified first off hi it’s sage second off i’m so fucking sorry

edit Ah it’s notifying people. hi everyone you’re really cool and if we’re mutuals and i forgot to put you on this list i’m so so so sorry. i forgor

#the.entertainments.here

49 notes · View notes

be-with-me-so-happily · 2 years

Text

The Kindling from a Kiss

ONE SHOT

Summary: An annual overnight camping trip and a game of 'truth or dare' ignites something new in these best friends Harry and YN. Well, at least for one of them. Will it create a hot new relationship, or will it cause their friendship to go up in smoke?

A/N: I have wanted to write this for such a long time, and after cuddling under a blanket a few days back, I decided that now is the right time. I'm so ready for Fall weather.

Ps. You can picture Harry however you want, there's no specific 'Harry era' for this, I just like how this photo fit the vibe.

>> Warnings: 18+ ONLY: explicit language, alcohol consumption, and the tiniest suggestion of sexual activities

~~~~~

"You have to come. We do this every year."

"Exactly. I'll catch the next one." Harry chuckles, his eyes fixated on the page in front of him as he lays sprawled across his sofa, his long legs hanging over the armrest.

"Don't be a party pooper, H. You're coming. You'll have a good time! I promise!"

"Nah." He smirks, gaze not moving from the words displayed on the book in his hands.

You make your way to the front of the sofa, kneeling down next to him and bringing your clasped hands up to your face, pushing your lips out into a pout.

"Please?" You whine. "You wouldn't ditch your best friend, would you?"

His enchanting green eyes finally shift, resting momentarily on the pout of your lips, before quickly shifting up to meet your pleading gaze.

He chuckles as he sees the desperation in your eyes.

"Alright." He sighs, closing the book and pulling his legs around to sit up. "I'll go."

"Thank you." You jump up, grabbing his face in your hands and planting a quick kiss on his forehead. "I was worried I'd have to do some serious begging."

He bites his lower lip as he sits up straighter, throwing his arms behind his head as he leans back on the sofa.

"Damn, I caved too easily. I could've got, like, something really good outta this!"

Your jaw drops and you bring your palm up to swat his arm.

"Go pack a bag, you little shit. I wanna leave in twenty."

~~~~~

With your arms crossed in front of your chest, you stare at the ground and let out a frustrated growl.

"I can't believe my tent has a huge hole in it!"

"That's too bad, love." Harry replies, settling the last stake of his own into the ground and stepping back to view his handy work. "Guess you're sleeping outside."

"You're joking, right?" You reply, pressing your hands onto your hips. "You're not gonna offer to let me stay in yours?"

"What if I'm tryna get lucky tonight?" He smirks, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"That's not fair, you didn't even want to come!" You pout. "I persuaded you."

"That's true… you're very persuasive." He brought an index finger and thumb up to his bottom lip, as if to contemplate the choices he has. "Alright, we can share. But be warned, it's a small tent, and I like to cuddle."

"Yeah. Unfortunately I'm well aware of that."

~~~~~

"Julie, there's like twenty extra people here!" You look around at the nearby campsites and take in the amount of people who have joined your trip this year.

It started out, a few years ago, with your group of six- Julie, Flynn and his brother Justin, Avery, you, and Harry. You've all been friends since the beginning of high school, and during the summer after your Junior year, you all decided to go camp at the lake for a weekend.

Since then, now a few years into college, you've always made sure to attend this annual trip, but the size of the group seems to grow each time. A few others come back again, but your group of six has always stayed the foundation.

"Getting bored of us?" You chuckle, bumping her side with your elbow.

"Definitely." She smirks. "You're all so vanilla, and I need a little drama."

You roll your eyes. "Well… fingers crossed for you I guess…?"

"Thanks, doll." She laughs. "And my fingers are crossed for you!"

"For what?"

"That you get a bit of something too…" She winks, nudging you back before walking over to say hi to a few new people whom you haven't met.

You turn around to see some familiar faces, when you're met with the most familiar one of them all, popping out beside you.

"Shit!" You yelp, clutching your chest as your adrenaline has peaked.

Harry lets out a huge laugh. "A bit jumpy?"

"I just didn't know who it was." You swat his arm.

"Hmm. Yeah, lots of newcomers." He replies, scanning the faces of the nearby clusters of people. "Don't think I know most of 'em."

"See? That's why I begged you to come."

"So you like me 'round for ya?"

"You're alright." You stick your tongue out between your teeth as you reach up and grab his beanie, placing it on your own head as you nonchalantly walk away.

"Excuse me!" He exclaims, catching up to you and wrapping his strong, tattooed arms around shoulders, creating a hold so that you are unable to lift them. "Who do you think you are?"

He spins you around with a sarcastic smile on his face. You spread the cheesiest smile across yours and bat your lashes. "I'm your best friend, and my head is cold…"

"Aww, look how cute you look… how could I say no?" He smirks. "Oh, like this. No!"

You let out a huge laugh as he swipes his hand over the top of your head, grabbing the beanie back and securing it on top of the curly brown mop on top of his head.

"Damn you."

"Thief." He smirks again, showcasing those canyon-like dimples that everyone seems to fall in love with. "I'll get you one for Christmas or something, geez."

"Did it look decent though?"

"It actually did look good on ya." He chuckles. "But no one gets to wear this beauty. It's mine."

~~~~~

As you sit on a bench around a campfire with your friends, with the warmth of the fire comforting you, you feel the pressure of a finger stroke down your cheek.

"What the hell did you just put on my face?" You scold, turning to the right of you to see Harry's mischievous grin.

"I wouldn't do something like that." He chuckles. "On an unrelated note, you have Nutella on your cheek."

You run your index over the smudge, bringing it to your lips and slowly sucking the contents off of your finger.

"Bloody hell, YNN. How do you not have a boyfriend?" He laughs. "Because that looked… delicious, and I don't mean the Nutella."

"Wasted skills." You shake your head.

"Shame."

"It really is." You reply, scooping out some chocolate sauce from the jar onto your own index finger. You bring it up just enough to hover in front of your lips before shooting your hand over and wiping it all the way down his face.

"I hate you." He chuckles.

"Bullshit." You laugh, grabbing a graham cracker and bursting into a laugh as you use it to scrape the chocolate off of him.

"Yeah. I hate you."

"Really? Who watches 'The Notebook' with you? Who comes over on a Saturday morning and makes the best blueberry pancakes you've ever had? Who is cleaning the chocolate off your face with a graham cracker right now?"

"Who put the chocolate there in the first place?" He glares, letting a subtle smirk shine through.

"Hmm. Good point. Can't believe you haven't cut me out already." You reply, sticking your tongue out at him.

"Nah. I'll keep ya 'round. You seem to be useful." He grabs another graham cracker, scraping the rest of the Nutella off your own face, placing the marshmallow he was roasting on top, and taking a huge bite of his creation.

"Hmm… there's a new flavor to this one… it taste a lot like… sass." He winks.

You do the same with the graham cracker you have in your own hand. "And this one tastes like… idiot."

"Must taste delicious."

"Idiot. Yeah, it definitely tastes like idiot."

"But I'm your idiot!"

"I don't know if I wanna claim that." You giggle.

"Too bad. I know too much about you for you to let me go. You're stuck with me."

~~~~~

After s'mores are devoured, Flynn leaves the group to hang out with a few of the guys he invited, but the remaining five of you stick around to chat. You're still sitting on the bench with Harry, your legs crossed over his lap as you all talk about the college classes you like and the teachers you hate.

You look up when you hear some footsteps approaching, and see a vaguely familiar figure walking up to the bench across from you.

"Hi guys!" She exclaims, immediately darting her eyes over to the guy whose lap is stationary under your thighs.

"Hello, Sabrina." He replies, as everyone else gives her small, unacknowledged waves.

Oh yes, Sabrina. Not your favorite guest on this trip to be honest. If you think Harry is a flirt, this girl is at least double that. And she definitely isn't subtle about it. She joined the trip two years ago, by an invite from a friend of Flynn's, and she wasted no time throwing herself at Harry. He flirted back a little, like he does with everyone apparently, and she took that as a sign to ramp up her attempts to hook up with him. It was a bit irritating to say the least, and you cringed every time you watched it. The next year, which was last year, was no different. Her attempts were constant throughout the entire weekend, annoying as ever to yourself, but he didn't seem to mind. So it did puzzle you to why he has never seemed to fully act on her advances.

"What are you all up to?" She asks, eyes still focused on Harry.

"Just hanging out." Julie replies.

"Fun… I guess…" She shrugs, sitting on the bench she had walked up to.

"Do you have something better in mind?" Justin asks.

"How about a little game?"

~~~~~

"Okay, Sabrina, it's your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." She smirks, quickly flickering her gaze to Harry yet again.

Julie faces Avery, and the two of them lean to each other and whisper, giggling as they seemingly make a plan. They look at Sabrina, then Harry. You figure as much, since she's been trying to grab his attention any chance she can get, and that eat that shit up.

You watch Avery cover her mouth as she whispers some more and you swear her gaze quickly shoots over to yours while she nods, before it snaps back to Sabrina.

"I dare you to kiss Harry, and then rate the kiss."

"Bloody hell, are we twelve?" Harry asks, rolling his eyes, but turning them to Sabrina and giving her a small, closed-lip smile.

"Just do it."

"I guess… rules are rules…" He shrugs, tapping your thighs for you to move them as Sabrina walks around the fire. He gives you a quick glance, his eyes wide, as he exhales heavily. When she arrives she grabs his face and puckers her lips as she leans down for the kiss. He holds her upper arms and stretches his head up to close the gap, placing his lips against hers.

She giggles against him, and you roll your eyes when you hear the popping sound of them releasing their kiss.

It was a small, quick kiss, but everyone whoops and hollers as she walks back around the fire and sits down, a huge grin on her face.

"So?" Harry asks

"I'd say a solid eight." She shrugs.

"What? An eight?" He frowns, crossing his arms around his chest.

"Well…" she smirks, biting her lip. "I didn't have much time to assess it."

"Oh my god." You mumble under your breath, and out of the corner of your eye you see Harry's eyes snap over to you, then swiftly returns back to hers.

"Fair enough." He chuckles.

"Okay." Avery claps her hands together once. "It's YN's turn."

You sigh, picking at your nails. You once again notice that Avery and Julie are whispering to each other, and your stomach starts to twist around. You usually aren't afraid of this game, you always pick 'dare' and rise to the occasion, but something about the way they've been whispering is making you nervous.

"Okay, YN." Avery states. "Truth or dare?"

"You know I'm gonna pick dare…"

"Oh I know." She smiles. "You… have to kiss Justin."

"Wow." You shake your head.

"Hold on!" She puts up her finger. "You have to kiss Justin… and then you have to kiss Harry, and then… rate them both."

"Oh, what the fuck!?" You exclaim. "Can you not think of any better dares than this? Seriously, how old are we?"

"Quit stalling, YN."

You growl, twisting on the bench to your left to see Justin's smile.

"Ready when you are."

You let out a laugh. "Okay then."

You lean closer and your palms grab his shoulders, feeling one of his hands lean against the bench as the other holds your back. Your mouth touches his, and you both begin to giggle, but try to keep your composure. He's been your friend for so long, of course this is comical. You pull away after a few more seconds, and pull your lips inward to stop from laughing.

One the other side of you, Harry's thigh grazes against yours as he adjusts his position, and you hear him clear his throat.

"Shit. If you hadn't been drinking beer…" Your mouth pulls across your face in an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Justin. It was, like, a seven. It was surprisingly good. I just hate the beer you were drinking."

"Damn it!" He laughs. "That's fine. I can accept that. Although 'surprisingly good' is a little hurtful."

"I'm sorry, bud."

He gives you a small pout, but then a wink. "Maybe one day I'll earn a higher rating."

Harry's thigh grazes yours again, and you turn to your right to see his own smile.

"Let's get this over with, love." He chuckles.

"Yeah that's what a girl wants to hear before she gets kissed."

"Just do it already!" Julie shouts.

You turn to her and growl, then quickly turn back to Harry. As soon as your face is fully in front of him, his hands reach up to your cheeks and he pulls you closer. The sudden motion causes your palm to drop down and rest on his thigh, feeling a subtle smile form against your mouth. Your lips begin to part, your intention being to pull away and come up with some witty remark, but you feel the tip of his tongue push through ever so slightly, enough for you to notice, but not enough for everyone else to.

Your body ignites with a fiery sensation, as a fluttering appears in your stomach. Warmth covers you completely, and you start to feel your body melt. Without hesitation, your free hand reaches up and rests on the back of his neck as you unintentionally deepen the kiss.

It was quick, you think, but it felt like it lasted forever for you. He pulls away, keeping his face close to yours, and stares into your eyes.

"So?" He mumbles.

You stare back into his glistening green eyes, but remember where you are, why you just did that, and who is watching you, so you quickly pull back further, causing his hands to drop and you both to sit up straighter.

"It… it was… I hate this game..." You clear your throat. "I guess I'd rate it as a nine."

In your peripheral vision, Sabrina frowns, subtly crossing her arms around her waist.

"Hey! Harry was drinking beer too!" Justin exclaims, followed by another sarcastic pout.

"Yeah, but now he has gum in his mouth. It was… it was a minty fresh kiss." You shrug.

You hear Harry chuckle, but a blush suddenly rushes to your cheeks, and you refuse to look over to him.

"The magic of Trident, my friend." Harry replies, pulling a piece out of his pocket and reaching past your body to hand it to Justin.

"Two whole points, geez." Justin laughs, popping it into his mouth.

"Okay, okay, okay… It's your turn Justin." Sabrina grumbles.

Your lips purse as you exhale deeply, and your gaze drops to the ground.

"You alright there?" Harry utters, gently bumping his shoulder against yours.

"Mhmm." You nod. "That was just…"

"Amazing?" He chuckles quietly.

"I was gonna say weird." You reply.

"Harsh."

"Okay, not weird. Different." You shrug, your gaze still fixated on the ground beneath your feet.

You've kissed a few times before. Twice when you were both wasted, both times were as a joke and completely platonic. And there was only one other time, when you two were squabbling, and he did it to shut you up. But it's never been like this. This one felt different, like you said. Really different. It felt like there was something else to it. At least, it did for you. The kiss with Justin definitely didn't feel like that, and it really has nothing to do with the beer or the gum. Why do you feel flustered? What made this kiss, this kiss with Harry, feel so different than any other time… or with anyone else?

"I'll take different, over weird, I s'pose." He finally replies, breaking up your sudden and confusing thoughts. "At least I scored higher than beer breath sugar lips over there."

He points past you and you turn to see Justin shove as many marshmallows as he can into his mouth. Seems like a tame dare, except that he despises them. You let out a huge laugh, bracing yourself on the bench with the palm of your hand. You instantly feel another wave of tingles course through your veins as the warmth of Harry's hand barely touches yours. You slowly turn back towards him.

He quickly senses your gaze, and looks over to you, pulling his lips inward as his eyes search your plain expression.

You flash him a small smile, and you see his shoulders relax. But you're not sure if his casual demeanor is comforting or worrisome to you. You're glad he doesn't feel awkward, but frustrated that you do, and that you can't figure out why.

"I'm gonna get a drink." You mutter. "Want one?"

"Yeah." He replies, looking back to you, and presenting a wide smirk that showcases that naughty, deep left dimple. "I've got some gum left, so I'm alright to have another beer."

You roll your eyes and swiftly turn around as you feel another rush of red ignite your cheeks. You try to shake it off and reach into the cooler.

Maybe you shouldn't drink anymore. You are reacting so oddly and you don't want that to show through any more than it probably already does.

You suddenly feel a warm presence behind you and turn around to come face to face with Harry.

"Shit!" You exclaim, letting out a breath as you try to calm the heart beats that shot up at the surprise. "Stop doing that!"

"Sorry." He chuckles, slowly grabbing one of the beers out of your hand. "M'just thirsty and you're dawdling." He adds, flickering his gaze down to your lips for a split second.

"Oops." You manage to quietly reply, gulping down the lump that has formed in your throat.

He lifts the beer to his lips, resting them on the opening of the bottle, and you detect a small smile before he takes his first sip.

"Thanks." He states, raising the beer to cheers with yours, turning around and walking back towards the bench that you both previously occupied.

He stops a few feet away from you, and spins around, a furrow in his brow as he takes another sip of his beer.

"Are you sure you're alright? Y'kinda acting weird." He pauses. "Or… different, I guess I should say."

"Yeah." You state, trying to add a little enthusiasm in your tone to convince him. "I'm good.

"If you feel sick or something, spew outside, far away from the tent, yeah?"

Your expression turns into a glare. "Keep talking shit and if I need to I'll do it right on your pillow."

"Wow. You're just such a good friend." He states, a semi-sarcastic tone with his words.

"I really am." You poke your tongue, but as he reciprocates with a wink, you feel a flutter in your stomach again.

You feel dumb. It's Harry. You shouldn't be getting flustered around Harry. He's your best friend. This is the type of thing that happens when you're around your crush. And Harry isn't your crush.

But maybe that kiss started a crush. And you feel like that's fine. He's attractive, and makes you laugh, and you love spending time with him. An innocent little crush is fine. That's all it is. A crush.

~~~~~

As the original six of you stand at the water's edge, bouncing around on your legs, you hear Justin grumble and you turn to him.

"Tell me again why we have to do this?" He asks, his arms wrapped around his body to keep from shivering.

"It's tradition!" States Avery, with a straightforward tone, as if she shouldn't even have to answer such a question.

"Can't our tradition be something… warmer?" He grumbles again.

"You can't change the tradition, mate. That's the point of a tradition." Harry chuckles, placing his hand on Justin's shoulder.

"Fine. Let's get it over with." He replies, jumping up and down in place as he prepares himself for what's about to happen.

"Okay. On the count of three." Julie proposes. "Ready?"

"No." You growl.

"Now who's being a party pooper?" Harry chuckles, bumping your shoulder, quickly glancing down at your swimsuit and licking his lips. "Admit it, you wanted to see me in my swim shorts."

You roll your eyes, but can't deny that his bare, toned and tattooed chest is a nice sight for your eyes to take in. You feel a shiver run down your spine, and feel like you could blame it on the temperature of the air, but you know that's not really what is to blame.

"This isn't a want, this is a requirement." You look over to the rest of the group. "Can we just get this done?"

"One… two… three!" Julie shouts, and you all sprint into the freezing cold water of the lake.

"Fucking hell!" Harry yelps.

"I hate tradition!" Justin adds.

"Don't be babies, unless you wanna just pay up now..." Avery states, holding her hand out as if she is waiting for something to be placed in it.

Standing chest deep in the water, you laugh as you see everybody's teeth begin to chatter. The rule is that the first person to get out has to shell out one hundred dollars to the last one to stay in. You basically set aside extra money each month just for this trip, and this occasion, but it's always a fun challenge and you are usually one of the last ones to crack.

Harry begins to wade his way over to you and your heart starts to flutter. His wet curly hair and his glistening eyes, under the light of the moon, just add to his beauty. Yes, your best friend is beautiful, that's undeniable, but it's never been something you really focused on. It's also never been something that caused an extreme blush to engulf your cheeks. Not until tonight.

"I'm determined to last longer than you this time." He proclaims, getting closer and closer with each word.

"We'll see about that." You challenge him.

You could definitely win tonight, considering you start to feel warmer inside the closer he gets.

"Are you ready to give up yet?" You laugh.

"What? No!"

"Because I feel fine. Warm, in fact. So this will be an easy win."

"We'll see about that, babe." He replies, a mischievous smirk suddenly appearing, causing your nerves to heighten. "I'll do what I have to."

He stops right in front of you, and you hear him let out a subtle, low chuckle. He reaches around your back, and you let out a gasp, feeling the rush of heat become overpowering in intensity.

But all of a sudden, he pulls his arm back, and you see the wide grin on his face as you feel your swim top begin to float around in front of you.

"Are you kidding me Harry? What the hell?" You yelp, grabbing the piece against your chest to keep yourself decent.

"I'm in it to win it, love! And I figure pestering ya is a good strategy." He shrugs.

"You asshole." You huff, still flustered from the smooth motion of his arm as he untied your top, and suddenly wondering what he would've done it fell off completely. Would he have gotten as flustered as he is making you right now?

"Here… turn around… I'll fix it." He offers.

You feel his fingers run down your shoulders, searching for the undone ties, and you shudder at the touch.

"Getting cold, huh?" He chuckles. "Maybe I shouldn't tie this back up."

His hands linger as he holds both strings, moving close enough that you can feel his breath on the back of your neck.

"I could win this, and maybe get a good view too…"

You hold back a whimper, and feel lucky that the water would hold you up if your knees suddenly went a little weak. You turn your head to the side, getting a glimpse of him out of the corner of your eye, unintentionally biting your lower lip.

"Tie it up, you twerp."

"Hey. Can't blame a guy for trying to see a nice pair of-"

"Tie it up, Harry!"

His fingers graze the skin of your back, and you exhale deeply as the heat inside begins to travel up to your heart, but also down between your thighs.

"There." He whispers.

"Thank you." You utter back, and turn around to see that beautiful face again.

"Anytime." He smiles, and your heart races. With your thoughts and sensations swirling inside, you start to find it difficult to catch your breath.

Your eyes travel down to his lips for a moment, and when they move back up to his gaze, a small furrow of his brow is accompanied by a smirk.

Embarrassment floods over you and you wish the lake would just wash you away at this exact moment. You need to pull yourself away from him before you do something stupid and pull yourself in towards him.

"I…" You stutter. "I lose."

"What?" His eyes go wide and his mouth falls slightly.

"I'm taking the loss. I gotta get out." You state, looking past him to the other four in your group. "I'm getting out guys."

All four heads simultaneously snap over to yours, with eyes wide open to match Harry's.

"You're joking!" Flynn exclaims.

"She breaks!" Julie shouts. "Finally!"

"I thought you said you were fine?" Harry questions, with an expression of sarcasm and concern. "What happened?"

"Nothing." You shrug. "I'm just too cold."

"Is it 'cause I untied your top?" He asks. "I'll let ya pull down my shorts to even it out…"

Your heartbeat races as you begin to envision that scene unfold in your mind.

"You're an idiot." You reply. "And you'd likely walk out of the water with them down."

"Well yeah…" He laughs. "Gotta try to make a good impression on someone."

The warmth disappears from your entire body and you feel the color drain from your face. Someone. Not you, someone else.

"Umm… well, you'll have to… initiate that on your own. Sorry." You quickly respond. "I'm gonna go."

"So you're not staying for the show then?" He smirks, and you momentarily get drawn back into his eyes, that smile, and those dimples.

You shut your eyes to focus yourself and clear your throat.

"I'm sure you'll have enough of a crowd, Styles, you don't need me there."

You begin to make your way back to the sand, as the group cheers in their victory, so you turn your head to them.

"No one has won yet…" You scoff, waving them off. You grab your towel, quickly wrapping it around you, and make your way back to the tent to change.

As you get inside and take a moment to yourself, you realize something that you hadn't before. Something that the kiss seems to have sparked for you. You have feelings for your best friend. Not just because of the kiss, but because he is your best friend. Because he knows you, he cares about you, he makes you feel comfortable, and happy. He even makes you feel… loved. Harry makes you feel loved. Yep. You don't just have a crush on Harry, you definitely have feelings for him. And it sucks.

~~~~~

"YN?" You hear outside the tent, from that unmistakable British accent.

"Yeah?"

"Are you decent?" He asks. "I need to change. Kind of freezing out here."

"Yeah. All clear. Come in."

He unzips the tent and pushes his way through. Catching a glimpse of how his shorts are tightly gripping his crotch, you quickly refocus your attention back onto brushing out your hair, and do your best not to stare.

You can't deny you haven't wondered about his anatomy down there, but now is not the time to dwell on that.

"That was fast." You state, keeping your eyes down as he looks for some dry clothes.

"Yeah, well either Flynn was tryna cop a feel or something was swimming 'round my legs." He chuckles.

"I feel like you've used that excuse before, H." You state.

"Hey! M'serious! There is something in that water." He scoffs. "Bloody hell, ya meanie, can I just change now?"

"Yeah, give me one second." You state, moving around to find your phone.

"I've changed in the same room as you before, YN, it's a big deal…"

"Yeah." You begin to blush, feeling that warm sensation building up between your thighs again. "But I wasn't on the same eye level as your dick."

"Shame." He giggles.

"What is wrong with you?" You sarcastically scold.

"What?" He innocently shrugs.

"Why are you such a flirt?" You ask. You normally don't care but it seems to be causing you problems tonight.

"It's fun." He shrugs. "And I know I can get away with it with you, since we're friends."

That sounds like confirmation that he doesn't feel what you feel from that kiss. That he hasn't changed the way that he feels about you.

"Right." You clear your throat, finally finding and grabbing your phone. "Well I'm not gonna stick around for this show either."

"You're not being very fun tonight." His brow furrows.

"Because I don't want to see your ass hanging out?"

"It's a good ass." He smirks. "But, no, you're just being really weird."

"I'm not being weird." You frown.

"You're right. What was it you said?" He frowns back, pulling a shirt over his head. "Different. Yeah? You're acting different."

"I don't know what to tell you, H. I'm fine." You state sternly, unzipping the tent before he removes anymore clothing and you become even more flustered.

"Whatever you say." He shakes his head. "I'll see ya out there."

"Yep." You reply, exiting the tent and letting out a strong breath, realizing your body had been so tense during that entire interaction.

You knew you had been a bit aloof. You're trying to stabilize yourself. You may have all these new feelings for him, but he doesn't for you, and you shouldn't be making it uncomfortable for the both of you. You turn around with the intention of going back in and apologizing, but hover your hand over the zipper when you hear Harry mumbling.

"This is too much."

Your heart sinks and you clench your jaw. So, not only have you made it uncomfortable, but you've now completely embarrassed yourself to the point of him finding you annoying.

You're really beginning to regret playing that stupid game, suggested by that stupid girl.

~~~~~

The night goes on into the late hours, as it usually does, and you feel a little more at ease with the strangers around you, even introducing yourself to a handful of them. The two shots of tequila you took are probably helping with that.

But you are avoiding Harry. You don't want to embarrass yourself or bother him anymore. Especially now since things really do feel weird. Not just different. Weird. You made it that way, and you don't want to be face to face with him right now. And it's probably for the best considering you're a bit tipsy now. You don't want to say or do anything stupid.

But, of course, your eyes catch Harry's and you see him standing with Sabrina. She is definitely not your favorite person here, but she's standing next to him.

You roll your eyes as you turn away, heading towards the campfire, and mentally kicking yourself for not remembering to pack a hoodie.

"I was worried you'd forget a sweater again." You hear, making you turn to your side to see Harry standing over you.

"Yeah, well, typical me, right?" You reply, managing a small smile to try and hide any awkwardness.

"I wasn't tryna put ya down. Here, take mine." He replies, shrugging his down off of his broad shoulders. You unintentionally flicker your eyes down to the collar of his shirt, which is showing off the top of the sparrow tattooes as it pulls down slightly with the sweater.

"I'm fine, Harry."

"YN, come on, stop being so stubborn." He demands, handing it to you without giving you the option to reject it.

"Fine." You reply, grabbing it from him and instantly feeling the warmth from his body encasing you as you put it on. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, ya grump." He chuckles.

You drop your head down and begin to fiddle with the cuffs of the sweater.

"Yeah, well, I'll let you get back to Sabrina. She's probably a lot more fun than I am."

"That's not true." He proclaims with the most stern tone you've ever heard come out of his mouth. "But what's up with ya tonight?"

"Nothing. I'll just catch up with you later, okay?" You stand up and walk off, hearing him growl as you move further away.

You try to slyly turn back and see him down a shot of his own before heading back over to talk to a small group of people, including the one girl who may want Harry almost as much as you do. The one he probably wants too.

You reach a nearby tree and lean against it, closing your eyes and trying to breathe through the tightness in your chest.

"What are you doing, YNN?" You hear, opening your eyes and finding Flynn standing next to you.

"Huh?"

"Both times Sabrina has come to this thing, and thrown herself at Harry, you've been there to intervene."

"Intervene?"

"Well, like, come to his rescue." He responds.

"I have?" You smack your hand against your forehead. "Shit."

"Wait, that wasn't intentional?" He mutters. "I thought you were just trying to be a good friend."

"A good friend? A good friend doesn't cockblock someone…" You wince. "No wonder he hasn't hooked up with her."

"What? No." He shakes his head. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't like her."

"Really?" You ask, hoping that the feeling of excitement and relief hasn't pushed through. "I just figured he did, since I saw them talking over the-"

As you point over to the spot you last saw them, your eyes don't land on them talking, but your heart lands in the pit of your stomach.

They are still there, but definitely not talking. Sabrina is on her tiptoes, wearing Harry's beanie, with his face squished between her palms and her lips smashed against his. His hands are on her shoulders and he pulls away, whispering something in her ear before she nods and drops her hands down.

"Oh." Flynn states. "I, uh, guess I was wrong."

"Umm… yeah, looks like you were…" You fumble out, dropping your head down and trying to hold back any sign of your disappointment. "Guess… he doesn't need to be rescued anymore."

Your breathing becomes rapid, and there's a tightness in your chest. You were right, he doesn't feel the same for you. And of course the weekend that you finally discover your feelings for Harry is the weekend he's going to hook up with Sabrina. You feel like such an idiot.

You turn around, trying to find a place that will hide and comfort you in any sort of way. Your gaze lands on the multitude of alcohol spread out on some tables, and you instantly make your way over.

You pour another shot for yourself and pound it as soon as the liquid reaches the top of the glass.

"Was that a 'this night is shitty' shot or a 'this night is fucking awesome' shot?" Someone chuckles behind you.

You place the glass down and swivel around, facing a guy who you introduced yourself to earlier. His name was something like… Brendan? Or maybe Brandon?

"I'm Devin..."

You were close enough.

"We met earlier." He states, giving you a little grin.

"Yep. I remember." You smile back, pouring another two shots, and handing one over to him.

"So, what type of shots are these… shitty night or awesome night?"

Your eyes flicker past Devin for just a moment, and land on the intense stare of Harry, his arms crossed over his body as Justin and some new guy talk beside him.

"How about 'fuck this whole trip, I wish I never came here' shots?" You reply, feeling the alcohol begin to take over a bit and suddenly not giving a shit about it.

"Wow. Alright. Let's do this then." He shoots back the tequila with you, both wincing at the burn it causes sliding down your throat.

"So, it's really that bad huh?" He asks.

You just shrug, not even knowing what you could possibly say to this stranger that could explain it all, and also not make him bolt in the other direction after hearing how pitiful you sound.

"Will another shot help?" He chuckles, reaching for the bottle that's sitting on the table.

Your eyes glance back over to Harry, and see Sabrina squeezing her way between him and Justin, placing her hand on his shoulder. His eyes stay fixed on you, but yours glance over to her. She's still wearing his beanie.

"Might as well try."

~~~~~

After some time goes by, chatting with Devin, you start to feel the alcohol wear off and reach back to the bottle for another round.

Before your hand grips it, you feel his hand on your forearm and your eyes shoot up to meet his.

"Is your night getting any better?" He asks timidly. "Not just from the tequila."

You give him a smile and let out a giggle, fueled by the shots but also by how shy he now looks while talking to you.

"Yeah. It is."

He suddenly gets closer, giving your arm a gentle squeeze as he leans forward and places a kiss on your lips.

You gently push him back and scrunch your face when you see his embarrassed expression.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry." He exclaims, a bright red blush forming on his cheeks. "I read this all wrong didn't I? Shit. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Devin. Can we just keep hanging out, casually?" You respond. The effects of the alcohol apparently click back in or something because you start to wobble backwards a tiny bit, causing him to reach out and throw his arm around your back to secure you.

"Hey mate!" You hear being yelled, instantly registering who those words were coming from. "I think you need to walk away."

Harry shows up right next to you and helps you steady yourself. His arm wraps around your waist right as Devin pulls his away.

"Harry, what the fuck?" You ask, looking apologetically towards Devin.

"He was trying to take advantage of you!" Harry shouts.

"No. What? Shit. No, I was just-"

"Leaving. You were just leaving. Yeah?"

Devin's eyes dart between you and Harry, and your head shoots a glare at the man beside you.

"YN, I'm sorry." He states, with an apprehensive tone to his voice. He places one hand on his chest, with a nervous look on his face.

"No. Devin. I'm sorry… about this..." You mumble, unsure if he could hear you due to the sudden shaking feeling in your chest.

"Fucking leave." Harry growls, causing Devin to simply nod and walk away.

You immediately push Harry off of you and hit his chest with your fists.

"What is wrong with you?" You yell. "For fucks sake, Harry! You're such an asshole!"

"What the hell did I do wrong? I was trying to help you."

Your jaw starts to clench, as hurt and anger start to consume you.

"Help me?… right, okay… except you… damn it, I hate this whole fucking weekend!"

"Yeah that's been apparent." He snarks.

"Fuck you." You scoff. "It's all your fault anyway."

His eyes widen at your statement and a deep frown forms right between his brows.

"What the fuck, YN? How? What the fuck did I do wrong?" He asks again.

Someone catches your eye behind him, slowly walking up to the two of you. The first thing you notice is the familiar beanie, as you then realize that it still sits on top of Sabrina's head.

"Of course… I can't fucking do this with you right now." You reply between gritted teeth. He turns his gaze over his shoulder to see her moving her way towards him, then turns his head back to you. You give him a glare and turn around to quickly make your way to the tent.

"Hey, umm, I'll catch up with you later." You can hear Harry state, soon hearing his footsteps getting closer to you.

"Go away Harry."

"YN, for fucks sake, will you just stop and talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about Harry." You growl. "But… let me know if you want some privacy in the tent tonight. I'll just see if Julie has some room for me in hers."

"What? No. You can sleep in the tent…" He finally catches up to you and grabs your arm, spinning you around to face him. He steps as close as he can, holding both your arms as he catches his breath.

You're caught off guard for a moment when you're met with a sweet natural scent diffusing out from him, and you suddenly cannot remember if it's always been like that, or if you're only just now more aware of it.

"What the fuck is going on with you tonight?" He breathes out, his glossy, but concerned emerald eyes burning a hole into yours.

"I… I don't…" Despite everything boiling inside, your body has lost the ability to move, and apparently your brain has lost the ability to form sentences. "I don't know."

He steps closer, which you didn't think was even possible, and his eyes dart all over your face, clearly looking for a clue as to what you're thinking.

"C'mon, YN, we're best friends! I know you. Something's up." His eyebrows quickly pinch together again as he holds his stare. "But I feel like I'm going crazy! Are you just making out with random guys now? Like, what the fuck is that about? Are you that drunk?"

"Don't be dramatic, it was a quick kiss. And why do you care? It's really none of your business." You glare at him, pushing against his chest so you can give yourself some distance. "You shouldn't have butted in, and you definitely shouldn't have yelled at him!"

"He was getting grabby! I saw you pushing him away. What the fuck was I s'posed to do?" His voice is raised, and way more intense than you've ever heard it. Even during your little spats, his tone has always been controlled.

"Could've minded your own damn business. I can handle myself." You snap back, the words falling out of your mouth before you can catch them.

"Minded my-... are you serious? It's absolutely my business if some guy is making you uncomfortable. I don't give a fuck who it is. You're my best friend, YN! I… I care about you more than anyone else here!"

The term 'best friend' has never made you feel any sort of pain, until now. You are best friends, and you have been best friends basically since you met. But now one kiss, one dared kiss, has you feeling so different than you have before. It has you feeling so much more for him, feeling so jealous, and feeling so desperate for him to just kiss you again at this very moment. It even, you think, has you feeling love. But he doesn't feel any of that.

"Really? Is that why your lips were locked with Sabrina's? Because you care about me?" You growl through gritted teeth.

"What?"

You drop your gaze to the ground and take a deep breath. As you look back up into his beautiful stare, your heart drops again for a split second. He kissed Sabrina, and just called you his best friend. Now you really know where you stand with him, and it's too much to handle.

"Just…" Your jaw clenches, as you start to protect your heart, while feeling it begin to break. "Don't worry about me."

"That's stupid. M'gonna worr-"

"Just don't, Harry!" You exclaim, hearing him quietly gasp at the words that just came out and the tone that accompanied them.

"YN…"

You pull in your lips as you feel a tightness build in your chest and tears beginning to form.

"Just please, Harry… please leave me alone."

His arms drop to his sides and his mouth drops open.

"YN, m'sorry-"

"Please." You utter, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep from completely falling apart.

You look up through your lashes and see him nod, moving backwards with the smallest steps as he runs a hand through his hair.

"M'sorry." He whispers, barely enough for you to hear him, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning around to walk away.

You turn and take those last few steps to the tent, fumbling with the zipper and desperate to get inside.

After you finally make your way in, and zip it back up, you immediately fall down onto your sleeping bag. You don't bother changing, and curl up in Harry's sweater.

With his scent still lingering on it, filling the tent, the tears begin to fall.

You hate that the kiss changed everything for you. You hate that it happened in the first place. You hate all you want is for him to march into the tent, wrap you up in his arms, tell you that he wants you too, and kiss you again with as much passion as you felt the first time. You hate that the kiss changed nothing for Harry, and most of all, you are starting to hate that you actually love him.

~~~~~

You wake up in the morning, alone in your tent, to the sound of muffled chatter in the distance. Still in your clothes from the night before, you do your best to fix your hair, shuffling out and over to the open area where everyone is eating breakfast. Almost everyone.

You grab some coffee, not really feeling like you can stomach much more than that, and sit at one of the nearby picnic tables.

You take a sip but shoot straight up again when you see Devin grabbing a plate of food.

With your coffee in hand, you make your way over to him.

"Hey. Devin. Can we talk?"

He looks at your surroundings before looking back over to you.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" He asks, surprising you as the question is followed by a chuckle.

"I'm so sorry." You reply, placing your face in your palm, feeling the possibility of tears arriving at any moment.

"Let's go sit." He suggests, motioning to the picnic bench you had just been occupying.

You take a seat across from him, your coffee sitting between your hands and your elbows on the table.

"I'm so sorry about last night." You repeat, dropping your gaze to your mug.

"Don't be. I just read things wrong and… didn't know you had a boyfriend…"

Your head immediately snaps up to his. "No, no, no. Harry isn't my boyfriend. We're just friends, like, best friends. That's all."

"Well…" He pauses to take a small bite of his food. "That was quite an odd reaction then."

"What do you mean?"

"YN, that was an extremely 'boyfriend' type of reaction he had when seeing me kiss you." He looks at you bashfully as he reminds you of what he did.

"He just… thought you… were making some unwelcome advances."

"I guess." He shrugs. "But the way he looked at you, and at me, and the way he held you so close… I don't know… it just seemed like there was something more going on there."

"There's not. Trust me, there's not." You sigh. "Definitely not for him anyway."

Your hand immediately covers your mouth and you hear him giggle.

"Oh okay." He grins. "So that was the reason for those 'fuck this whole trip' shots."

"I'm so sorry. I hope you don't think I was just trying to, like, lead you on or anything…"

"No. You were fine. I was having fun, I just misread the situation." He shrugs.

"Just so you know, I was having fun too." You smile, taking another sip of your coffee.

"And… I mean, I could be misreading this too… but it does seem like there's something more going on between you guys, for him too."

You place your mug down and shake your bed. "Doubtful, considering his empty, untouched sleeping bag."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well…" He takes his last bite of food and begins to stand up from his seat. "If you need someone to hang out with or want to take some more 'drink your pain away' shots, maybe away from certain tall, angry British men… come find me."

"Oh god." You let out a huge laugh. "I might take you up on that."

He gives you a quick wink and walks off, but his place at the picnic table is quickly taken up by Julie.

"So?" She asks, eyes wide with anticipation.

"So…?"

"Did you and Devin hook up last night?"

"No! Why would you even think that?"

"Well, I heard that something happened last night involving the two of you. I thought it might've been something juicy." She furrows her brow. "You could've waited for me, to play out some drama!"

You roll your eyes at her as she giggles.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't the fun kind of drama, if that's even a thing."

"So, wait, does Harry not know you and Devin didn't hook up?" Her sudden, random question takes you by surprise and your posture becomes rigid.

"I don't know. Probably too busy hooking up with Sabrina to even give it a second thought."

Just the sound of her name now triggers a knot in your stomach.

"He didn't hook up with her." Julie states.

"He didn't?"

"No, he slept in Justin's tent." She replies. "That's the other reason I thought you and Devin had done the deed. I thought he was giving you two space for some alone time."

"Why didn't he sleep with her?" You blurt out, mentally slapping yourself as soon as you hear the question leave your lips.

"That's a super weird thing to ask…" She raises a brow in curiosity. "I don't know. I mean, why didn't you sleep with Devin?"

Your gaze suddenly drops again, and you feel a very inconvenient and unwanted blush appear. It's unfortunate that you've been friends for so long, because you know she can instantly read your reaction.

"Oh shit. I knew it. Avery and I were just messing around with that dare..." Julie whispers. "But after the kiss, I knew something happened. I knew something was up with you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't!" She raises her voice, causing an immediate shush to come out of your mouth. "Oh my god…"

"What…"

"Is that why you didn't stick around during the water challenge? I saw how close he was to you, and you looked nervous. Plus, you never leave first."

"I was cold…"

"I know Harry's your best friend, so he knows you the best, but I've known you just as long, YNN. And that's a bunch of bullshit."

"What does it even matter, Julie?" You close your eyes, feeling your heart squeeze just as tight. "Our kiss didn't change anything for him. Instead, he went off and kissed Sabrina."

Her hands lift up and hold her cheeks. "Were you even here last night? Seems like you don't know anything that happened."

"What do you mean?" You instinctually lean towards her.

"YN… she kissed him…" She replies, looking around to confirm that no one else is listening in. "I mean, we all know how she flirts with him. Disgusting, by the way. But I guess this time she grabbed his beanie and wore it to get him to talk to her, and when he walked up to get it, she made her move and kissed him."

"Oh?"

"Justin told me that Harry was not having it and politely whispered to her to back off." She shakes her head. "Then Justin said he later walked up to everyone and he seemed super pissed for some reason. She tried to talk to him again, like, one last attempt to get what she wanted I guess. Again, disgusting. But apparently he told her to 'keep the fucking beanie' and leave him alone."

"Shit."

"Yeah. She left early this morning." She chuckles. "Why was he so pissed, YN? What the hell happened with you two?"

You wince at the memories of last night and let out a huge, shaky sigh.

"We had a huge fight."

"For what?"

"I, uh, I just got so flustered after the kiss. Clearly you saw that. And realized… that I wanna be more than friends." You clear your throat. "But he doesn't. And when I saw him kissing Sabrina… or I guess her kissing him… I got jealous."

"Okay…"

"When I was hanging out with Devin later, he tried to kiss me. It was an innocent misunderstanding, but Harry walked up and was super rude to Devin-"

"He was jealous." Julie nods. "Go on."

"He wasn't-... anyway, I got pissed and walked away. He followed me and we had a huge fight. Julie, we've never had a fight like that. I told him to leave me alone and… so he did."

"Oh boy." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "That's… wow… that's intense. Yeah, seems like that kiss changed things for the both of you."

"Seems like you got the drama you wanted."

"I tend to get what I want." She giggles, then immediately reaches across the table and grabs your hands. "But I didn't want that for you. And now I just want you to get whatever it is that you do want."

You sit up straighter. You don't know what you want now. But that's a lie, because you know exactly what you want. You just can't have it, because you want Harry.

~~~~~

You spend the next hour sitting near the edge of the lake, knees pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped around, and chin resting on them.

You keep replaying yesterday over and over in your head. And you can't seem to get the last few of Julie's comments out of your head. She's right, that kiss did change things. Maybe everything. Maybe now you've pushed him away.

You nuzzle your head behind your knees and begin to let the tears fall. Your heart drops at the thought that maybe the two of you won't even be able to be friends anymore.

There's a shift in the sand next to you, and you look over to see Devin matching your position.

"Oh shit." He states as you wipe your cheeks dry. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No." You sniffle. "You're fine. I could use the company."

"Have you talked to that Harry guy yet?"

You can only manage to shake your head.

"I… I saw him talking to Justin…" He looks over to meet your gaze. "He looks sad."

"I think I fucked it all up." You finally speak.

"Well… I'm here if you wanna have a new friend." He chuckles, causing you to look back over to him and give him a smile.

"I do need someone to take shots with." You smirk.

"Sold." He chuckles again. "And for what it's worth… I mean, take it with a grain of salt, considering I have misread things before…"

He bumps your shoulder and you shake your head as you giggle.

"But I don't think you've fucked it all up." He adds. "Just leave the 'fucking things up' to me."

You let out a little laugh, but are interrupted by the shuffling of feet and a familiar presence behind you.

Devin looks over and his face drops. You follow his gaze to see Harry standing there with his hands in his pockets, eyes fixed on you.

"Look, man, I'm just talking to her." Devin explains, standing and throwing up his hands to display his innocence.

"S'alright." Harry replies, still looking down to you, but you turn your gaze back to the water. "M'just wanting to talk to her too."

"Yeah, I'll, uh, head back." Devin nods, stepping forward to catch your eyes. "Come find me if you need me."

"Thank you, Devin. Really, thank you." You nod quietly, shooting a quick smile before he waves and walks away.

You feel another shift in the sand as Harry takes a seat on the other side of where Devin had been sitting.

"Are you friends with him now?" He asks, with a level tone to his voice.

"I guess." You shrug. "He didn't do anything wrong, Harry. You misunderstood the entire thing."

"I know. Julie told me." He admits, his gaze joining yours as he turns to the water too.

"What else did she tell you?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him now drop his gaze to his feet.

"Just that I was an idiot."

"Yeah well…"

There's a silence for a moment between the two of you, and your breathing and thudding heartbeats are all you can hear.

"I wasn't kissing Sabrina, YN. You kind of misunderstood that one."

"Yeah." You let out a strong exhale. "Julie told me."

"I don't even like Sabrina." He states furrowing his brow as he looks over to you. "Can't stand her, actually."

Your breath hitches at his admission, but know that doesn't mean he feels anything for you.

"M'sorry, YN. Really sorry." He turns his body to yours and puts one hand on your knee. "Can we please just go back to being ourselves? To having fun together? To being best friends again?"

"I don't think we can just be friends anymore, Harry." You blurt out, a little faster and louder than you intended.

"What?" He replies with a strained voice. "Look I know I was an asshole, but… you… you really just don't want to be friends anymore?"

You quickly stand up with your body now in fight or flight mode, knowing that it definitely wants to pick the flight option, but Harry immediately pops up too and stands directly in front of you.

"It's not that-"

"Then what the fuck is it? Because I would never just throw away our friendship for something like this. You're my best friend. I don't wanna lose that. I can't lose that!"

Tears immediately start pouring out. You don't want to lose that either, but you're lying to yourself if you think you'd be fine just staying friends. It will rip your heart apart.

"But I don't think I can do that. Not just that anyway. Not anymore."

"What does that even mean? What was so bad that it's made you not want to be my friend anymore?"

"The kiss!" You shout, your head swirling with all of the racing thoughts and emotions. "That kiss yesterday. It… it just…"

He steps closer, causing your breath to hitch when you meet his intense, and concentrated gaze.

"It just… what?" He asks in a low, hushed voice which makes your knees weak.

"It just… it changed how I feel about you. It… made me want to, umm, to be more than friends. I want to be with you, actually be with you." Your gaze drops straight to the ground and your chest tightens with your confession. "But I feel like a complete idiot, like I'm ruining our friendship, because the kiss didn't change anything for you."

He takes another step towards you, and one hand wiping away your tears as the other settles under your chin to meet his gorgeous green eyes.

"No, you're right, it didn't change anything for me." He clears his throat, still fixated on you. The knot in your stomach twists tighter and you want nothing more than to bolt. "Because I already felt that way."

"What?" You take a half step back, shocked by the words he just uttered, a little unsure if you even heard him correctly.

"YN, I love being your best friend. Really. And I'll take what I can get. But, I've wanted to be more than friends with you for a long time."

You feel your chest rise and fall at a much faster pace, and your heart begins to race.

"But... why didn't you say anything?"

"Well, 'cause I'm an idiot." He chuckles, moving his hand and running two fingers up and down your arm. "And I didn't want to push anything on you. Or push you away."

You begin to feel butterflies over just the mere understanding of his consideration. You lift your palms up and gently cup his cheeks, your eyes scanning every inch of his face to memorize the moment.

"I… I was worried I was the one pushing you away." You wince. "I can't believe you just stuck around, willing to just stay friends."

"Apparently I like to torture myself, I guess." He clicks his tongue. "But I felt like it was worth it. And now I'm glad I did."

"I'm glad you did too. And actually now kind of glad we played 'truth or dare' too." You bite your lower lip, feeling his breath on your nose and he lets out an exhale and licks his lips.

The hand that was grazing your arm slowly moves down to your waist, and his other moves to the back of your neck. Instantly, your hands grab his flannel shirt as you bring him in even closer to you.

He stares into your eyes, then down to your lips, with a smirk forming on his face. His head moves closer and your heart beats even faster as you feel a rush flow through your body.

Then your lips meet, and it's as if your entire body is finally awakened from a sleep you didn't know it was in.

Your mouths move together, sighing against each other as you grab tighter to his shirt. His tongue, once again, attempts to part its way into your mouth, and this time you fully let him. He pulls you in to deepen this kiss and you melt right into his arms. The heat inside you erupts and you begin to feel it in every part of your body.

He finally pulls away to catch a breath, resting his forehead against yours.

"Better than last night?" He asks, keeping his eyes closed as he smiles. "Higher than a nine?"

"Definitely a ten. And you didn't even have gum this time!" You joke.

His eyes open and meets you with the most tender gaze as he moves his lips back to yours.

"Woo hoo!"

His mouth stops before it touches yours, and both of your heads snap towards that noise, seeing your group of friends clapping and cheering as they watch the two of you.

"Bloody hell, fucking creeps!" Harry shouts, as you hide your face in his chest.

"Oh shut up!" Avery shouts back.

"Yeah!" Julie adds. "We're just happy for you!"

He looks over to you, then your lips, letting out a low and deep exhale.

"Would you, umm, wanna go back to the tent? Just for some privacy?"

You instantly bite your lower lip and nod, grabbing his hand as he leads you away.

He quickly unzips it and trips as he makes his way in, causing you to fall right on top of him on his sleeping bag and burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Well that worked out in my favor." He smirks, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Yeah, smooth move." You roll your eyes.

He reaches out and holds the back of your head, pulling you down and pressing his lips passionately against yours. He doesn't hesitate to slip his tongue inside, and you let out a breathy moan. He begins to press his hips up into yours, causing you to let out yet another breathy moan.

"You're okay with this, yeah?"

"Mhmm." You hum back, moving your lips across his jaw and down his neck.

"F-fuck, babe." He whispers, grabbing your hips and bucking up into you again.

Your run your hand down his chest, sliding over the bulge pushing against his pants.

He throws his head back, eyes closed, and displays the widest smile you've seen from him.

"I've imagined this moment so much." He moans. "Feels… so… much better than I thought."

"I, uh, I definitely want to do so much more with you… just not here, on the hard ground, with our creepy friends nearby. But… I do want to show off my Nutella skills right now…" You see his eyes shoot open and his head snap down to meet yours, causing you to bite hard on your lower lip.

"Should…" He chuckles. "Should I go get a jar of it then?"

"No. I don't want you to leave." You lick your lips. "I think I can find something else to taste…"

~~~~~

You lay nuzzled in Harry's arms, your head on his chest as you feel it rise and fall.

"Harry?" You whisper.

"Yeah babe?" He whispers back.

"Truth or dare?"

"What?"

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth…" He replies hesitantly.

"What was the moment you realized you liked me?" You ask, tracing his sparrow tattoos with your finger.

"Remember that trip here, when you came to my tent to spend the night, because you had invited your cousin

and found her throwing up all over the floor of yours?"

You can't speak for a moment, taken back by how quickly he responded to the question.

"Ew. Yes." You cringe at the memory.

"And you had on that blue fucking bikini."

"That's how you knew you liked me? Because I was looked good in a swim-"

"Lemme finish. Geez." He chuckles, softly running his fingers up and down your shoulder. "No. You had to borrow my shirt and boxers to sleep in. I liked it. That's what you looked good in."

He grabs your body and brings you in closer to him, kissing your forehead before resting his cheek on it.

"You had to share my sleeping bag with me, and we talked for a while, and when you fell asleep you ended up cuddling into me." He clears his throat. "You smiled when I wrapped my arms around you, and it felt so natural, so good… I realized I wanted to do that with you every day."

You slightly tilt your head to place gentle kisses on his chest.

"Man, these camping trips are magic or something." You giggle.

"Okay, YN, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do…" He inhales his breath, so you places more kisses on his chest. "Do you think… fuck, do you think it's too crazy that… that I love you?"

Your heart beats faster than it ever has before, and you unintentionally let out a whimper as you feel his breathing increase in its pace.

"No." You utter. "Because I love you too."

His breath hitches and he reaches under to chin to being your eyes to his gorgeous greens.

"Thanks for persuading me to come this year."

He places a gentle kiss on your lips and then rests his cheek on the top of your head.

"Well, I did promise that you'd have a good time."

~~~~~

If you'd like to send extra support, I love coffee 💗Bee xx

~~~~~

Main Masterlist

Overall Taglist: @watermelonsugacry @tw1nflamebruis3 @slut4lilyrose @pinktakeaway @hopefulwastelandcreation @tenaciousperfectionunknown @his-only-angel-1989 @queenmadi2 @runway-to-my-aid @theekyliepage @be-yourss @harryistheonlyoneforme @b-reads-things @behindmygreyeyes @michellekstyles @a-strange-familiar @yousunshineyoutempter @buckybarnessimpp @spicyscorpsag @msolbesg @sleutherclaw @katiebaxterrrrrr @percysaidnever @thatbitch2828 @mrspeacem1nusone @thurhomish @sushiabby @woanderry @harrystylesrecs @robotrry @vickiii17 @itsbebeyyy @divalovesyou

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles one shot #harry styles friends to lovers #harry styles story #harry styles concept #friends to more #friends to lovers #best friends to lovers #be with me so happily

801 notes · View notes

despairots · 3 months

Text

- at the top of my lungs, in my arms, she dies , #c. nakahara!

description, there’s a reason why chuuya never went to visit you. it’s been like that every since that fateful day of dazai jumping, leaving no goodbye to chuuya. he felt distraught, but he’s moving on, taking the lead of the port mafia boss. though, he’s wondering if you miss him.

story contains, suicide, swearing, mafia activities, character deaths, beast!bsd spoilers, unrequited love??, more like right person, not enough time, angst, etc. gender neutral! reader. drabble, short.

it’s terrifying that i never wrote about chuuya,,,, anyways my bsf is gonna watch bsd and im tryna gatekeep dazai and chuuya from him (i showed akutagawa to him so he can take him)

chuuya nakahara doesn’t remember the last time he visited you. he was piled in work, and a few work that dazai refused to take on and do, leaving it to chuuya. he’s stressed, i mean, who wouldn’t? he’s the port mafia boss.

he hasn’t seen you in a while, he’s too afraid to face you. thinking about all the guilt on leaving you would catch up to him, it’s not that he doesn’t feel guilty— he does— he doesn’t know if you’ll forgive him. he knows you’re a pretty forgiving person, until it’s someone you care about is hurting you a lot.

chuuya’s scared, in short words.

he remembers your touch, your leadership, your eyes, you don’t smile often, he misses it though. he cherishes you very much, if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be thinking of you this much.

he hasn’t seen you ever since dazai’s suicide, he misses you both (dazai, a little bit less). after all, you were chuuya’s first love, how couldn’t he miss you? everyday, chuuya wonders what would happen if you didn’t leave.

now, at the port mafia, he’s by himself. all alone. piled with work and the amount of mafioso’s that don’t know how to work. as much as he hates this job, it’s the only place he feels like he belongs in, his loyalty goes beyond.

he wants to see you, so much that it’s hurting him. kouyou could see the look of distraught on the boss, as an executive, she asks what’s wrong with him. they can’t have their boss in this type of state.

kouyou knows how much you mean to him, he has a picture of you in his office, a spider lily caged in a glass beside the photo. she could tell that chuuya loves you, very much so, until the very end.

she’s visited you here and there, telling you how chuuya is and how much he misses you, aswell as wanting to see you. she remembers the words that you’ll wait for him, no matter how long until he sees you.

you had told her not to tell chuuya, well, because maybe chuuya will hurry the process and be there as soon as possible. you wanted him to take his time, you’d wait forever for him, even in death.

“where are you going?” kouyou asks, the answer already in her head once she sees the port mafia boss turn around, holding a bouquet of red roses. “you wanna come with?” the sight makes kouyou widen her eyes a bit before she closes them and turns around.

“i already saw them.” she whispered softly, her heels clicking on the floor as chuuya nods and leaves the building, a black car appearing in front of him.

chuuya can’t remember your voice, he only has your voicemails. he can’t remember your smell either, he only has a few months left until all your clothing, bedsheets, pillows, and perfumes are gone.

the sight of your place comes into view, stepping out of the car and heading straight to yours, the guilt and excitement all rushing into his brain—

—until he steps infront of your grave. dropping the roses on your grave and seeing the left over flowers kouyou left for you. there’s a restrained look of sadness on his face as he stares down on your grave, the wind blowing past him.

he’s scared that you won’t forgive him, for not visiting you, for not being there for you when you needed him the most, and especially, not being strong enough to save you. he thinks that maybe he should’ve just stayed with you, to stop you from hurting yourself any longer.

it’s the life time guilt he has for not being able to forget you, he gave you up to fast and chuuya wants to experience the life of being with you again.

there’s a reason why chuuya never went to visit you.

it’s because you’re dead.

#⑴ kaz’s written works!#chuuya nakahara #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya nakahara x female reader #chuuya nakahara x male reader #chuuya nakahara x gender neutral reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bsd x female reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x male reader #beast bsd

107 notes · View notes

finntheehumaneater · 4 months

Note

“It’s all YOUR fault!”

For the ask game 🙏

Hallo, love!!!

this isn’t necessarily Steddie, but I hope you enjoy!!!

angst prompt list | hurt/comfort prompt list | nice scenarios list (more about the asks in my pinned post)

CW: mention of drugs, guns, weed, alcoholism, animal abuse (but it’s more like neglect than abuse), and smoking, implied sexual activity

Max was nearly over the neighbor’s fence—the chair she had brought outside was tipping out from underneath her, but maybe she could just climb back over the fence afterwards—when the chair finally gave out and she fell backwards onto the cold grass, feeling the wind knocked out of her. “Shit—“

She gasped, turning over onto her stomach and pushing herself up, trying to breathe, but her lungs wouldn’t take in air. There was the sound of a car door opening and closing, silence, and then muffled cursing, followed by the sound of crunching on gravel. She ignored it, bending over and coughing out another gasp, her hair falling into her eyes. “Fucking shit—“

“Jesus, kid,” a voice muttered, and she saw someone kneel next to her, an orange flannel and a corduroy jacket flashing out of the corner of her eyes, and she felt a hand press against her back, rubbing against the fabric of her shirt. “You tryin’ to get yourself killed?”

Max finally sucked in a breath and coughed, folding over again. The hand stayed on her back, pressed against it gently, until she whipped around and glared at the person. It was Wayne. She didn’t really know Wayne, but his nephew had brought over food, once, and ate with her in her front yard. He made her hair smell like cigarettes from how much he had been smoking, but he seemed nice enough.

“I’m fine,” she snapped, waving Wayne’s hands off when he went to help her up. She could stand on her own, she wasn’t a fucking kid. Wayne looked at her, then to the chair, and then to the small white dog on the other side of the fence.

He raised an eyebrow, looking her over as she dusted the dirt off of her hands “You tryna steal the neighbor’s dog?”

“No—“ she said quickly. “I mean—whatever, why do you care?”

“Because I know the person who lives here, and I don’t think he’ll take kindly to havin’ his dog stolen,” Wayne said quietly, crossing his arms and leaning back slightly. He looked tired.

“What, is he going to fucking shoot me or something?” She bit back, but her eyes widened slightly when Wayne nodded. She sighed and looked back over at the dog. She didn’t know his name, so she had just been calling him Jamie. “He doesn’t…he doesn’t feed him, I know it. I have to do it. And I don’t think he gives him much water, either. He’s out here all the time.”

“Hm. Well, how about we go talk to him before we try and take his dog away, hm?”

“He deserves to have his dog—“ Max cut herself off when Wayne narrowed his eyes slightly. She looked down and glared at the grass beneath her sneakers. It was cold out here.

“You go put the chair back, and I’ll get my nephew. He knows Briar better than I do. Might be able to talk some sense into him.” Wayne muttered, sighing. Max watched as he walked off, before dragging the chair back towards the back door of her trailer. She managed to get it back through the door without making too much noise, putting it back at the table.

She went back into the living room quickly, just to make sure her mom was still there—and she was, passed out on the couch with a couple empty beer bottles scattered on the floor, her red hair plastered to her forehead with sweat. Max left her there, half-falling off of the couch. She still had her high-heels on.

Max grabbed her jacket and then ran back outside, across the street to the Munson’s trailer. The air around the place smelled like weed. She knocked on the door and waited. No one answered. Fuck it, she thought, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Wayne was sitting on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table, drinking from a mug that looked like Garfield’s head. She always knew the old man was weird, but now she just thought he was fucking crazy. “Where’s Eddie?”

“Getting dressed. He’s in his room if you want to go knock. See if he’s done.”

Max huffed and looked around. Wayne’s trailer had the same set up as hers—and it looked the same as hers, too, mostly. Cluttered. Messy. But with a lot more mugs and mechanic magazines. She walked down the hallway to where her room was and knocked. There was faint music coming from inside, and it smelled like cigarette smoke. It was the kind of music Billy had listened to. Fuck, no, she wasn’t going to think about that asshole anymore. It wouldn’t bring him back—not like she wanted him back. He had nearly killed her ex-boyfriend…well…she wasn’t actually sure what they were to each other, right now.

Sometimes she would go and see Lucas when she went over to Dustin’s, and they would laugh and everything would be fine—and then other times she didn’t want anything to do with him, resenting the idea of even being in the same school building as him. She missed Lucas.

“Yeah, yeah, hold on,” She heard Eddie mutter, and there was another voice in there, too, but she couldn’t hear it over the music.

“I know, sweetheart, hold on,” Eddie said, and Max narrowed his eyes. “Gotta do something for Wayne, then I’ll be back.”

Was he with a girl or something? Gross. The door opened and there Eddie was, looking annoyed and a bit disheveled, his Iron Maiden t-shirt half tucked into his black jeans, his hair messed up and kind of sweaty looking. “Can I help you?”

“Wayne said you’d talk to Briar for me,” Max said, glaring at him, feeling a bit awkward with the way he was looking at her. Eddie sighed, looking back when a voice asked, “Eds? Who’s that?”

Max’s eyes widened slightly and she pushed past Eddie, who made a noise of protest, trying to grab her arm and tug her back. She hit his hand away, and her eyes widened slightly when she saw Steve, shirtless in Eddie’s bed, his hair pushed back, blinking sleep out of his eyes. “What the fuck?”

She looked back at Eddie, whose face was flushed bright red as he looked away. Steve noticed Max and made a quiet ‘oh’ sound, before giving her an apologetic smile. “Hey.”

“You know what—Steve, you and I can talk about this later. Eddie, let’s go.”

She grabbed Eddie’s wrist and pulled him outside, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. Not because of the fact that Eddie was sleeping with a guy who was practically her babysitter, but because she was afraid of what Briar was going to say.

“Why are we talking to Mr. Jones, anyways?” Eddie muttered, rubbing his eyes and sighing as Max led him to the front door of Briar’s trailer.

“His dog.”

“What about?”

She knocked on the door and then turned back to Eddie. “He doesn’t take care of him. He leaves him outside everyday, and I’ve been feeding him so that he doesn’t starve.”

Eddie’s eyes widened slightly as he looked concerned. “Shit, Mayfield, I don’t think we should—“

The door opened, and there was Briar. He was tall, with whisky brown hair and a scowl across his face. “The fuck you kids want?”

Eddie cleared his throat and pushed Max behind him a bit. Max kicked at his leg, and Eddie winced, glaring at her, but he moved his hand. He turned back to face Briar and sighed, giving him a small, strained smile. “Hey, Mr. Jones. How’s it going?”

“Munson? I didn’t ask to buy anything—“

“I know, I know, I’m not here with weed. We, um…it’s about your dog?”

“Benny?”

Eddie nodded, and Max stepped back out from behind him, ignoring him as he tried to pull her back. “How often do you feed him?”

“What?”

“How often do you feed Jami—Benny?”

Briar turned around, glancing in the direction of the backyard. “Dunno. Every few days, I guess.”

“Well, he needs more food than that,” Max snapped, because I’ve been feeding him every night for the past few months.”

“Mayfield,” Eddie hissed, trying to tug her back, but she ignored him, taking a step closer to Briar.

“You know, I don’t think you should even have your dog, at this point.”

Briar’s eyes narrowed, and he looked down at Max. She stayed where she was. Eddie tugged her back, and she tried to get him to let go, but he just held onto her arm even tighter—tight enough to hurt. “I’m sorry we bothered you, sir. I hope you have a good rest of your evening.”

Briar nodded and closed the door, and Max whirled on Eddie, her eyes watering. “What the fuck?”

“Mayfield—“

“No, shut up! This—this is all your fault! He’s not going to listen if you don’t let me talk to him!” She screamed, and she knew she was being too loud, because someone in one of the trailers across from him opened their door to look out at what was going on, a cigarette pinched between their lips.

Eddie grabbed her shoulder and his expression softened, but his voice was still stern. “Look—I’ve been here a lot longer than you have. And I know Mr. Jones. He’s not going to listen to you, no matter how much you scream at him. I’ll talk to him for you. Tell him all about the dog. Okay?”

Max nodded, willing her tears not to fall. “Whatever.”

“You going back to your place, or do you need to stay at mine?”

Max’s cheeks flushed. She had only stayed over once, when Eddie was out somewhere and it was just Wayne, but she had been too tired to remember it. She felt angry that Wayne had told Eddie about that, but she didn’t say anything about that. “Not after what you and Steve did in there. You’re going to need to burn your bed.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Eddie muttered, rolling his eyes, and Steve stepped back, pushing his hands off of her.

“You’re such a child.”

“Says the literal child.”

“I am not—“ She cut herself off and sucked in a deep breath, sighing. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Eddie. Tell Wayne…and Steve…I said goodnight.”

Eddie looked a bit surprised, like he expected Max to snap at him again the second he let his guard down. He nodded, turning and going back to her trailer.

Max went back to hers. She hauled her mom back up onto the couch, turning the light off in the living room and picking up the boor bottles to put in the recycling. She took her pills, praying that she wouldn’t wake up with another headache—or have another nightmare—and didn’t bother changing for bed.

The next morning, coming home from school, she saw Briar walking Benny down the street.

47 notes · View notes

decadentjellojaloppy29 · 10 months

Text

What happens In Tiujana...

PART 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

You, Miguel and Miles jump through a portal to Tijuana. And it is breath taking. After gawking at the scenery the three of you go to your room to go over a briefing for the mission. After you have an 'Ah shit' moment, Miguel has a few more 'Ah shit' moments on your behalf. Plus Miguel getting grumpy with you for making him feel things.

🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝🏝

The three of you step through the portal. Closing it out to avoid attention. You appear behind a brick wall in an alley. The three of you get your bearings while Miles looks around the corner of the building.

"Whahahaoa. If this wasn't a mission it'd be a killer vacation." He gawked at his surroundings prompting you and Miguel to walk around the corner.

And Miles wasn't kidding. It was beautiful. The sun beating down on you all. Your eyes squint in the light. Putting a hand over them to offer some shade you looked around. The surrounding buildings were colorful and vibrant, each having a personality, sporting colorful flags and flowers. The streets bustling with people, the sounds just as loud as the colors that surrounded you.

"Damn..." you said, doing a 180 just to take in everything. You could barley believe it. It was gorgeous.

Miguel's eyes traveled over to your awestruck face. Watching your face light up made his stomach feel weird.

Normally you'd acted like you couldn't be phased but this time it was different. He felt a tugging the corners of his mouth. Could it be a smile? Miguel shook his head, quickly shaking it off. Rolling his eyes at himself.

'Mission, this is a mission.' He thought to himself, looking straight ahead. Walking a few steps ahead.

You and Miles were like kids in a candy store, you tried to act a little more composed but it was almost impossible. Miles pointing at things all the way to the doors of the hotel.

"Try to keep a low profile from here on out, we don't need to attract attention." Miguel told the two of you.

"Don't know how you couldn't with a face like that." You joked, much to the displeasure of Miguel.

But part of his mind wondered if you meant it as a compliment or a jab...or both. He also couldnt seem to decide what he wanted it to be. So he just narrowed his eyes at you in response.

"You tryna get in trouble?" Miles whispers to you.

"It's practically my job to bother him." You told Miles.

Miguel shakes his head, "Nobody's paying you to."

"The look on your face is normally payment enough." You shoot back grinning. Miguel only mutters something in response.

Walking down a cobblestone trail to be met with the Hotel.

The hotel itself was amazing, a pastel orange with clay roofing tiles and balconies adorned with swirling black rails. Palm trees decorating the front garden from the end pf the walk way all the way up to the doors. The bright hot sun pulling the vision together.

"You picked this place?" You ask Miguel pointing at the hotel.

"Yeah." He shrugged looking back at you.

"Huh. You're not tryna impress me are you, O'Hara?" You joked.

"When I try you won't need to question it. Trust me." He said cockily.

You just shake your head, pulling Miles along so he doesn't get lost. The three of you walk into the hotel lobby the inside even more beautiful than the outside.

Miguel tells the two of you to stay put so he can get the room keys. And of course, you two don't stay put. Wondering around the hotel lobby.

Miles looks over at a hard wood table that held different pamphlets of activities that tourists could tske part in. Webbing one over to him he starts to giggle to himself.

"What's funny?" You ask leaning over his shoulder to see.

"Found something for you and Miguel to go to." He answered laughing, pointing at a dance class on the pamphlet.

"Haha." You mock, snatching the pamphlet from him and swatting him playfully with it.

Miles laughs and covers his head, "Don't think you could convince him?" He asks.

"I'm good, but I'm not that good, kid." You tell him with a grin. Miles laughs to himself more, pulling out his phone to text Gwen.

You look at the intricate tiles covering the floor your eyes traveling over to where Miguel stood. He exchanged words with the front desk employee, looking...natural. Like for once he didn't wanna strangle everyone in the room. It was different to see him like this. Almost relaxed, not as angry. The sun pouring in from the window next to him making him look even softer.

You couldn't help the slight heat rising to your cheeks. The feeling of it all hitting you like a train. 'Ah shit.' You thought to yourself.

After a few more minutes Miguel walks over to the two of you. Swinging the room keys between his fingers.

"Not doing what I say and not staying put, good to know you guys aren't any different here." Miguel comments smiling down at you two but it was one of those 'I'm this close to getting angry' smiles.

He continues, "We got two connected rooms, I don't care who shares and who doesn't let's just get up there so we can go over a briefing for the mission." He hands the two of you the room keys. Both you and Miles groan at the mention of the briefing.

"Booooooo." You both say in unison. Miguel waits for your groaning to finish, staring at the two of you, anumused.

"Very mature, y/l/n." Miguel tells you blankly.

"I aim to please." You shoot back sarcastically. And with that the three of you are off to your rooms.

You and Miguel walk into one room and Miles was in the other. You drop your bag and flop down onto the bed. Sighing.

"Tired already? Maybe you weren't the best person for the job." Miguel comments teasingly.

"Shove it O'Hara you had me up at 2 in the morning, I'll be ready for anything you got to throw at me....in like, 20 minutes." You told him, eyes already closed.

Just then Miles comes bursting through the connecting door. Causing you and Miguel to jump at the intrusion.

"Have you guys seen out the window yet?" He asks, hopping onto the chair next to the window and pulling the curtains open. You squint at the newly introduced light, Miguel looking just as annoyed.

"You sure you don't want this to double as a vacation?" Miles asked, turning to look at Miguel.

The bigger spider looking over his shoulder back at Miles, the look on his face being the only answer Miles needs.

"What if we complete it successfully?" You ask, looking up at Miguel from your sport on the bed.

Miguel rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something but he stopped in his tracks. Biting his tongue. When he was met with the sight of you, laying on a big, fluffy bed, bathed in sunshine, looking up at him with your big eyes.

He wasn't exactly prepared for it. Or how it made him feel.

You quirked a brow at him, confused and waiting for an answer. Miguel swallowed hard before mentally kicking himself for getting distracted at something so...simple.

"I'll think about it." He says quickly, digging through his bag and averting his gaze.

"That's what my dad says when it's a no." Miles leans down to whisper to you, you nod in agreement.

"Curtains, please." He gestures for Miles to close them, "Lyla bring up the plan, information thing." Miguel orders.

"OH! about that...it sorta, got lost in the infinite files." Lyla said looking at Miguel.

"If you're joking I swear-" Miguel starts only to be interrupted.

"Nah I'm joking here it is." Lyla said bringing it up. You and Miles laugh a little at that, Miguel just growls in response.

Miguel starts explaining, rubbing his eyes in exasperation, "Ok so, were gonna go over the plan more than once because it's kind of important it goes off without a hitch. It's-"

"Time sensitive." You and Miles interrupt, finishing his sentence.

"We know." You tell him, and as patronizing as it could've been taken the look in your eyes only told him that you were taking it seriously....even if you didn't act like it.

Miguel just nods, pointedly at you, understanding. Appreciating the gesture. There's that feeling again.

Ignoring it he moves forward.

"We need to blend in so I expect you to stick to the dress code of the event tomorrow night." He explains. A slide it pulled up of the lay out of the event.

You and Miles look at each other.

"Whaaaats the dress code again?" You ask, cringing a little.

"Uhh, like you're dressing for a wedding, or ya know anything nicer than what you have on now. Not that I'm expecting those two options to be very different." Miguel mocks referring to your comfortable attire.

"Funny." You mock back giving a teasing smile.

The briefing went on for another mind numbing 20 minutes although the back and forth you had with Miguel made it less like pulling teeth. Even though batner with him was basically like making jokes to a brick wall. Every now and then you looked over at Miles, his dead eyes saying all they needed to say. He was barley listening. And you couldn't exactly blame him.

🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃🌃

After what seemed like hours (and what probably was) you all had concluded the briefing.

Miles leaned back to open the curtains. The sun on the cusp of setting, cause the sky to be breathtaking pink, orange and purple color.

The three of you stop for a second to stare at it. None of you can deny, it was something else. And after a minute more Miguel broke the silence.

"Yeah, yeah, very pretty. Anyway." He said interrupting the moment.

You and Miles turn back to him. He swipes a room key off the nightstand and heads for the door.

"Where are you going?" Miles asks.

"Getting dinner." He states flatly.

"For...all of us?" Miles questions hopefully.

"I'm not your dad, you want food take care of it yourself, its a tourist trap there are 50 restaurants in any direction." Miguel deadpanned, earning a small laugh from you.

With that Miguel left, the door slamming behind him.

"Sounds like a dad to me." Miles mutters, pulling out his phone to look for a takeout place near by.

You scooted up higher onto the bed, crossing your legs and turning on the tv.

After a few minutes of watching you got a text notification on your phone. You got a text from the vampire spider himself.

Miguel: You want anything?

Staring down at the text you felt a smile pull at your mouth. A small huff of laughter escaping you.

Miles noticed, leaning in his chair trying to look at your phone. "What?" He asked.

You shook your head, "Nothin'." You replied.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

I once again am honored to be tagging even more people in this part hope you enjoyed!

@d1lf-loverrr @ladyrubrum

@iwatobiswimbros

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miles morales #across the spider verse fanfiction #across the spiderverse #atsv

111 notes · View notes

j0kers-light · 8 months

Note

How do you think Joker would deal with menstruation? Or if reader had a long delay and they both thought she was pregnant 😂 (but then it turned out to be a false alarm)

Hey hi anon!! 🖤✨

I couldn't help myself and jumped out of line of ask requests! I woke up from a nap with the perfect idea for this so here we go!

It is common knowledge that Joker does not use condoms. The tried and true saying, 'wrap it before you tap is' does not apply to him, mkay?

This man does not care. Its risky, its dangerous, and its incredibly hot to slide into you with nothing in the way. That friction of skin between skin just scratches an itch of intimacy that Joker never knew he needed. Now he knows why condoms are so expensive. Its a clear indicator not to use them!

He knows you secretly enjoy it too or you would have put an end to raw sex from the beginning. Joker does not take into consideration if you're taking any birth contraceptive measures [thats your choice as the reader] he's got bigger things to worry about, but there was always a twinge of hesitation in his mind.

What if you get pregnant?

Joker is NOT father material despite the countless nannies and other random people from your apartment building that compliment his DILF status and skills every time you babysit your neighbor's kid. Joker is not one for children, but he sorta kinda likes Gio. The little tyke's got spunk and he's so well mannered and you look ethereal whenever you hold Gio and the sunlight hits you a certain—

Okay. Fine! So Joker has toyed with the idea! He let his mind wander once or twice but it doesn't mean he's actively tryna knock you up! He is not about that life. Gotham City has to burn first and there's too much fun to cause to be weighted down with a child.

Nothing is for certain but Joker knows. He knows you can and will be a great mother just... not with his kid.

Joker is fully aware of your 'time of the month.' You're more moodier than usual and you always desert him in the guest bedroom for the comfort of your private room. You don't come out except to eat and you take said meals in your sanctuary. He hates the one week of the month where his Light is not around.

He does not like when you shut him out and hide in your shell but you grumble 'hormones' or 'leave me lone, J' and waddle back to safety.

Joker wants nothing more to cuddle up with you and rub your cramps away or hand feed you all the weird snacks you crave while your buried under the blankets, but you won't let him near you! Why won't you let him spoil you?

Contrary to popular belief, Joker is smart and very detail driven. He keeps up with your mensural cycle because he needs to know when his Light will be out of commission. He needs to know when to stay out of your way and when to keep your favorite snacks stocked in the penthouse. Since you won't let him near you, he'll keep you satisfied with acts of service. A happy Bunny, is a happy Joker.

So..... he's a lit-tle confused when your expected start date rolls around and you're still well, normal. You haven't snapped at him once or asked for some ridiculous food pairing that should not go together. You're still the bunny that he fell ten times over for. And when nothing happens for three days in a row.. Joker silently panics.

Its day five without any bleeding and Joker is a nervous wreck. You noticed a slight change in his behavior recently but with your upset stomach, you haven't given him any more attention.

You've been nauseous since the beginning of the week and no ginger ale, saltine crackers, or other home remedies that Sarai texted you to try have worked. If you don't feel any better in the morning, you're going to the ER and she better be on-call.

You were at your wits end trying to treat this weird stomach bug when she sends another message that makes your heart drop to the floor.

When's ur last period ever think bout that?

You drop your phone and spiral down a rabbit hole.

When was your last period? Shouldn’t you be due for one soon?

You snap out of your thoughts and open your period tracker and groan aloud when you notice you're five days late.

"Oh no. Oh nope nope nopeity nope." You look around the room like it miraculously held the answers to your dilemna. You've never been late a day in your life and right on time, your imaginary angel appeared on your shoulder.

"You and J do go at like rabbits..." She grimaced.

On your other shoulder your brash devil appeared. She was in rare form with a wide grin, stretching from ear to ear.

"And we be taking them loads straight to the womb! I bet you’re regretting not wrapping that sausage every time huh you cum whore? Haha! Pregnant with a psychopath's baby! That's wild! Couldn’t be me tho!”

She doubled over laughing and your angel shot her a glare. "It isn’t funny. This affects you too! Y/n, ignore her. CVS is on the corner babe. Aisle nine, lets go."

You nodded to yourself and grabbed your phone and keys, headed to the door but Joker came out of nowhere and blocked your way.

He took in your frazzled appearance. Your hands were shaking and you failed to care that you were only wearing yoga pants and one of his hoodies.

"Where ya going, pretty girl?"

His hands touched yours and discreetly took your keys from you. And you're so out of it, you hardly noticed.

"I uh, there's um.."

"Use your words, Y/n." Joker urged you.

You breathed in and out before meeting his curious eyes.

He's ever your rock; calm and ready to tackle any situation you throw at him. Would he handle this one if you told him the truth?

This would ruin all of his plans. You were supposed to be a temporary stop in his jorney called life. You would be a liability if you came out and said, 'oh hey Joker! I'm late!'

"LaTe for what?"

You blinked rapidly. Did you say that aloud?!! Joker arched an eyebrow and waited for you to answer him. Your mouth flopped like a fish.

Thank the heavens that Joker is so patient with you. He rolled his eyes and guided you into the powder room off of the foyer.

From there, he picked you up and sat you down on the counter. He stood between your legs, gently rubbing your legs.

"Talk to me, bunny. What's stuck in that uhh.. pretty lit-tle head of yours, hmm? You can tell meeeeeee."

You burst into tears and Joker froze like a statue. Those tears of yours were his kryptonite.

"I'm late! I haven't had my period yet!"

Joker clicked his tongue and set to work wiping your tears away. He was a little rough while doing it but the motion helped calm you down. Joker was still rusty with being affectionate and you smiled at his sweet gesture.

"I know."

You glanced up at him, "Whah?"

Joker repeated himself and leaned forward on his palms near your hips. "You're uhh, five, days late, doll. I need ya to do me a favor. Can ya do that?" He waited until you stopped sniffing.

Your nod was his clue to continue.

He pushed three bottles of water next to you. You stared down at them and the ominous brown paper bag on the counter. You just now noticed it.

"I need you to drink these and then... take these."

Joker knew you would freak out when he dumped the bag over to reveal the pregnancy tests he made Mac buy this morning. Joker was tired of waiting. If this was happening, he'd be the first to know before getting Sarai involved with a final medical confirmation.

You started hyperventailing until Joker grabbed your face with his hands. "Bunny... bunny... hey. Look at me. There she is. Breathe. Drink n' we'll take them to-get-ther."

"Y-You promise?" You hiccuped.

He hated seeing the fear clouding your coloured eyes. You clung to his wrist, looking up at him as if he had all the answers.

It was obvious that your were overwhelmed and scared. Joker would have to push aside his own jitters and be the stronger person here. He exhaled with a marred smile.

"I prooomise Sweetheart. Now! Drink up for me."

Joker offered you the first water bottle and you took it with the hopes this would all be false alarm.

You were pacing in the foyer with Joker seated nearby. Even with every sharp turn you made, his eyes never strayed from you.

You were a ball of nerves and he hated that you were biting your poor nails to the quick.

He was about to tell you to stop when the timer in the bathroom went off. You stared at the doorway as if it were radioactive. One of your favorite songs continued to play as the timer yet you resumed your pacing.

Joker called out your name to no reply. You were looping back around to past by him and he grabbed your arm. "Light, its time to check."

You shook your head. "I-I-I can't... you're gonna hate me and... and leave.. I just!" You yelped when Joker jerked you into his arms. He sighed into your untamed curls and squeezed you close.

He was too calm during all of this. How was he so calm?!

It was really bothering you until your head rested on his chest and you got to feel his heart beating erratically. Joker was nervous too but he didn't show it and that made you tear up even more.

He was bottling his emotions to be a shoulder for you to lean on.

It made no sense just how caring Joker was to you. He was a changed man indeed.

Joker tipped your head up with his finger. "You want me to check for ya?" He chuckled at your furious nod. Of course you did, why did he even ask? "M'aright, lemme go, doll. Them nails are killin' me."

You mumbled out an apology and let J go. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He sighed and glanced at the four pregnancy test lined up on the counter. Leave it to his doll to be neat even while under duress.

He didn't want to do this but you didn't have the courage to. So Joker was left to face one of his worst fears all alone.

There wasn't a proper procedure to these things so he just snagged the first one he could get ahold of and eyed the screen.

A bucket of ice was dumped over his head.

Positive.

Two blue lines held so much power. His ears were ringing and he barely heard your frantic knocking on the door.

"Um Joker? Y-You're too quiet. I-I’m coming in." You opened the door and took one look at a frozen Joker holding a pregnancy test and feared the worst.

Judging by his schooled features, you already knew the results but you had to see for yourself. You picked up the other three tests on the counter but did a double take.

"What? They’re negative. Oh my God. They’re negative! J, I'm not--" You turned to show Joker but he had already shook himself out of his daze and snatched the tests from your hands.

Joker's warped mind was playing tricks on him. It had to be. Because these tests were negative. He conferred with the one in his hand but it remained that life altering, positive.

Joker was conflicted and his green eyes darted up at you. Your smile faded seeing his intense emeralds, "J, what's wrong?"

"Thisssss one is positive. I'm calling the doc." He threw them all into the wastebin and was about to leave when you stepped in his path.

"Joker, wait! Three out of four, I think its safe to agree with the majority here." You were feeling back to normal now your pregnacy scare was past you but Joker was still fighting his delusions.

"I wanna be sure, Light. I'm not trusting a uhh drugstore test with somethin' like this." He rested his forehead against yours and you could feel his hands shaking as they cupped your face.

This was really getting to him. You peered through your lashes at J. He wouldn't let this go until he knew for sure from a professional. You covered his hands with your own. It was your turn to be strong and be there for Joker.

You kissed him softy and he chased after you when you broke away. "Okay, J, you can call Sarai."

He sighed and tugged you closer for the time being. You didn't know who needed this hug the most; you or Joker.

Your eyes naturally fell to the wastebin where the tests lay, mocking you and J.

There was a palpable change in the air. This interaction changed the future for you and J. In the heat of the moment neither of you considered protection. It was scary to think this could have ended very differently. You were sighing in relief but Joker was at odds with the outcome. Even with his fears put to rest, a small part of him wanted all four tests to be positive.

Simply because it would be a journey to experience with you.

#thanks anon!#thanks for the ask!#ledger joker x reader #joker x reader #ledger joker #black!fem!reader #joker #the dark knight joker #heath joker #reader insert #joker x y/n #swf headcanon #pregnancy scare #what if #chaos is stirring up chaos #his lighthouse

80 notes · View notes

coldresolve · 7 months

Text

*taps mic* this is niche but hear me out boys

imagine the fucken nightmare it'd be to kidnap a t1 diabetic. ive kinda wanted to write a story like that sometime cause it'd just set up this wicked dynamic. blood sugar does not fuck around.

im not just talking about the hassle of aquiring a constant stream of insulin and other medical supplies. imagine that first day, the victim gets roughed up a little... and then they start acting strange. they can't answer questions, they're shaking, their eyes wander, their movements are uncoordinated. the bewilderment of the kidnapper as they watch this now barely lucid person tryna stay focused, "i didn't hit them that hard, did i?"

and then something in the victim's waistband starts beeping very loudly, like an alarm. the kidnapper finds this little device connected by a thin cord to something under the shirt. a display reads hypoglycemia - contact emergency services. oh shit. so now they have to google their way into figuring out how to treat hypoglycemia in a diabetic patient.

blood sugar is heavily influenced by adrenaline. normally this is tied to excersise - if a diabetic person is physically active, the blood sugar drops. it can also be caused by pain. if a diabetic person experiences severe pain, it's 100% a guarantee that their blood sugar will plummet very, very rapidly. in a t1 diabetic person, hypoglycemia is an altered state of consciousness. an inability to think, balance, coordinate body movement. the eyes glaze over, slow, nonsensical speech, sometimes agitation or other mood swings, ironically enough, often a reluctance to eat and drink. if it's left untreated, they will eventually lose consciousness and slip into a coma. once the blood sugar levels are back to normal, they most likely won't be able to remember what happend during and immediately prior to the hypoglycemia episode.

other things that blood sugar is influenced by includes: food (obviously), sleep patterns, temperature, mood, dehydration, drugs/alcohol/nicotine, other medications, caffeine, allergies, altitude, the time of day, the environment the person is in (being out in the sun vs. being in a dark room), etc.

just. thinking about the whole convoluted mess that'd come with this scenario. how both kidnapper and t1 victim have to do their best to adjust to this thing, because things will go south very quickly if they don't. and how that's gonna affect their overall dynamic, ykno?

#full disclosure i have a loved one with t1 #they once fell down the stairs and broke their arm #and my first reaction. before we even got the person in the car to go to the er #was to go to the kitchen and grab a bunch of brick juices #and fucken systematically force feed those to them #and they STILL ended up crashing so bad they couldn't remember the first couple hours of the er visit #even tho a team of experienced medical profs were there tryna regulate it #your priorities are just different with t1 ykwim #other

61 notes · View notes

bunny-hoodlum · 21 days

Note

not tryna start fights lol. i really enjoy the descriptions of your story’s (they’re really different than most nh stories) but i hate reading unfinished works 😭 ive read wayyyy too many nh stories that end up with cliffhangers so i just wanted to know if there’s any reason why they all seem unfinished before i start getting invested

It's just an odd question to ask, is all, and you could've started your ask with this. Think about how your question came off. I had zero context behind your question and it just sounded bad. Like, most fics online are unfinished. Or they don't get updated for a long ass time. Or the writers just update when they feel like it, as opposed to most who update whenever they can.

Some people have family obligations, physical and or mental health issues.

Me? I probably have ADHD-Primarily Inattentive, I can't afford a diagnosis just yet, but I've always struggled with motivation, organizing myself, energy issues, headspace/focus issues.

Does having multiple ongoing fics seem counterintuitive? Yes, absolutely. But also, no, not at all. Because I'm having fun having multiple things to jump between.

I didn't plan to start multiple things in such a short amount of time. I participated in NHMonth2023 to the best of my ability and found out I understood how to write and thus rly enjoyed short stories, after kind of avoiding and not trying for the entirety of my fandom activity. Being in the discord has inspired most of these new ideas and instead of letting then stay ideas that I might forget about, I decided to make them a reality.

It's really all circumstantial how my Ao3 got to the way that it is. None of this planned or on purpose or all that easy to explain. Look at how long this reply has gotten already.

If you're intrigued but can't get invested, there's nothing I can do about that. If you don't like waiting for something to finish, then you don't. You already know what you like, how you want to handle your reading experience, etc.

Writing takes time. Like a lot of fucking time. When I get in a groove, it takes me all day or all week if I'm lucky. I'm more motivated to finish a chapter in single sitting than I am getting up to eat on those kinds of days, and I wish they'd happen more but I can't be neglectful like that. There's chores, there's spending time with certain people, there's my job, etc.

I actually do gotta slow my roll because my husband is feeling kinda down lately, so I'm going to try and be more available for him and work on my fics at a more casual pace.

Maybe by the end of the year you'll be able to finally read a handful of my new short stories, cuz lord knows when I'll get around to completing my slowburns and doing them justice. 😅

But yeah, just don't read them if you only read completed works? What am I supposed to do about that? 😂 Check in again in a year, see if there's any completed works. That's rly all you can do.

#whew used up half my lunch to write all this ugh 🫠

20 notes · View notes

traumxrei-archive · 2 years

Text

【 the shape of one's heart 】

author's note: hello and welcome to yet another leona kingscholar fic sjkdfjsf (the amount of l/ve i have for this man...unimaginable !!) part a birthday fic, part a character study, and part fluffy romance, i hope you enjoy reading <33 (UPDATE, aug 3: i rewrote the ending of iv. capture >:333)

characters: leona kingscholar x gn! prefect, ruggie bucchi, jack howl, falena kingscholar, cheka kingscholar

word count: 4.5k

tags: leona character study !! (or an attempt at one), happy birthday to dummy lion, your honor i love him therefore i psychoanalyze him, fluff is justice, but also there's angst, so watch out haha—, him and prefect are just <333, i. ii. iii. are mostly char study n iv. is where most of the romance lies

[ or read it on ao3 ]

i. gloves

It all started with an innocent question. "Why do you wear gloves all the time?" Leona blinked at them, yet he gave no answer. Instead, he recalled the first time he felt the coarseness of sand against the palm of his hands.

His unique magic came to him violently; suddenly. It really did feel like a sand storm had swept him up into the air, his body all but pinwheeling from the loss of control. He remembered his vision shaking with anger that the younger him couldn't contain; the laughter and mocking of some petty servants still reverberating in his ears.

He remembered bumping into a vase, his fingers lightly brushing against its smooth surface before it dissolved into grains of sand; falling through his fingers as if it never existed in the first place. He reeled back in horror, grabbing onto anything to cushion his fall. It just so happened that he grabbed a fistful of drapery; all of which fell in a shower of sand around him.

When he looked up he could see the servants scattering away from him, terrified looks on their faces. He remembered being scared of himself, vision blurring as he explained to Falena and his father what happened.

That was the day King's Roar first surfaced. A Unique Magic was supposed to be a blessing, and yet…it never felt that way to Leona. If anything, it felt like another burden was added onto his shoulders. (The rumors around him began to grow even larger, and it wasn’t rare for him to hear that he had “the power to destroy their kingdom.” Leona simply tried to ignored them.)

Leona started wearing gloves not long after that. He couldn't control his power all that well for the first month or two. The gloves gave him enough time to react; if he felt them turning into dust he could let go of whatever or whoever he was holding.

Even after all those years, the habit stayed. Every day he tugged on leather gloves, feeling a minute yet present comfort at the feel of them. He only ever took them off during Magift matches. The only potential casualties were the Magift disc and his magic pen after all.

(Leona tried not to recall the feeling of skin flaking underneath his touch; the intention to hurt finally winning over his rationality. But whenever he saw the scar on Ruggie's arm he could only remember the memory with bitter remorse. Never again, he vowed.)

He flicked the herbivore's forehead for asking, "Shut up, 'm tryna nap." Leona let his eyes close, taking in a breath of air free of the unsettling heat of sand. He no longer had to be concerned about losing control, but that didn't make his power any less terrifying. His gloves flexed with his fingers as he stretched, cushioning his head as he dozed off once more.

ii. dreams

Leona didn't dream. Sleeping was sleeping for him. It was simply an activity to pass by listless days. Still, it was impossible for him to escape every dream.

Sometimes, dreams would find him; a little too sweet and inviting. Promises of glory and recognition. Of crowns placed within treses of brown. Of emerald eyes casting its gaze upon something that was finally, truly his.

Leona hated dreams. When he would wake up, all he could do was try convincing himself that it wasn't real. That it was a truth that he wouldn't ever get what he really wanted.

And what did he really want? A second prince that was labeled a failure of a student; what could Leona Kingscholar want? No matter how he claimed he didn't care, the want still simmered in his veins— stifled yet present.

Leona wanted. He wanted so much that it almost hurt to breathe. But he was blessed with the intellect to know that he couldn't get those things he wanted.

Many called him stupid and lazy for being such a promising mage yet wasting away within NRC's botanical gardens. But they didn't know of the effort that Leona put into getting to where he was.

The days of his childhood he spent studying. Enduring the royal tutors who always compared him to his brother and berated his intellect. The nights he spent poring over books in the royal library on his own volition; trying in vain to find a way to take the throne as his.

(Sadly, Afterglow Savanna valued birthright, and try as he might, the only way to take the throne was to overthrow his brother or...kill him. The younger him had shivered at the thought of it. Even if he resented Falena to hell and back, he couldn't ever try to kill him.)

Even his simplest dream of winning a school Magift tournament was completely destroyed by the future King of the Valley of Thorns. Yet another person that reminded him of Falena. It was the nth bitter reminder that he could never truly be first in anything. And after being disappointed at every turn, maybe Leona Kingscholar didn't see a point in dreaming anymore.

So if someone were to ask him what his dream was, there was a chance Leona would answer with "I have no dreams."

"-ona. Leona," There was an arm shaking his shoulder. Leona let out a disgruntled groan, opening an eye to see who disturbed his nap.

Oh. It was just them.

"Herbivore," Leona acknowledged, voice still hoarse from sleep. "You're late."

The herbivore stayed quiet for a moment before they spoke, "Sorry about that, I took up part-time at Sam's during lunches." There was a slight pause before they continued, "But what happened? Were you having a nightmare?"

"What makes you say that?" Leona sat up with a yawn.

"You were frowning really hard in your sleep," There was a finger poking at his brow. "Even your forehead was all wrinkled."

"Mm," Leona dismissed the question. "It wasn't a nightmare." The herbivore didn't seem all that convinced by that answer, but they let it go.

Leona Kingscholar didn't dream. But maybe he had to remedy that statement. There was one dream that sprouted deep within him lately that he didn't completely hate, even if he knew it was impossible to fulfill. He hoped that these simple days at NRC would never end.

iii. visitor

Visitors and Leona Kingscholar shouldn't ever exist in the same sentence in Leona's humble opinion. So it was easy to imagine just how excited Leona was when Crowley barged into a Magift Club practice he had to announce he had a visitor. He left another third year in charge, swearing under his breath all the while.

And it was even easier to imagine how simply overjoyed he was to see Crowley holding up a little ball of fur that was guaranteed to give him a headache.

His nephew lit up at the sight of him, "Ojitan!"

He held the giggling cub away from him, scowling, "Why the hell is the brat here?"

"Now, now, Kingscholar-kun!" Crowley tutted, eyes curving into gleeful crescents. "His majesty, Falena asked me for a favor, and his highness will only be here for a day, nothing more, nothing less. I've also taken the liberty of excusing you from all classes today."

"Oh right!" Crowley's clawed fingers snapped. "I almost forgot, I enlisted the help of some very capable personnel to assist you."

He heard the huffing and puffing even before they appeared in front of him. There they were, out-of-breath like they ran all the way to the fields from the main building. Leona debated tossing Cheka into their arms and making a run for it.

"This– This is the... life-threatening emergency that only I could take care of?" Their voice sounded indignant, and Leona felt his ears twitch the slightest bit.

Maybe he could put up with it. Just for today. Besides, he got a free pass to skip class for the day and he could spend it all with the herbivore? Obviously, it was a win-win situation— if only Cheka wouldn't absolutely annoy him.

"Here," Leona dropped Cheka into their arms. "Crowley'll pay you a standard rate per hour so you'll get your money's worth. Follow me." He knew that they would follow if he mentioned money. For some reason, they had been working themselves so ragged that even a certain hyena was complimenting them about it.

They ended up in Leona's room, the kid blabbering some nonsense about how he was the "greatest uncle in all of existence" and how he "worked hard so that Papa would let him visit cuz it was almost Ojitan’s birthday."

Leona sprawled out on his bed, watching the kid cautiously looking around his room. They took a seat at his desk, glancing between him and the brat every once in a while, "So I just...play with him...?"

"Make sure he doesn't get hurt either," Leona gave a deep sigh, seeing his phone light up with a call from his dearest brother and ignoring it. "Oneesama would kill me if he got hurt."

"Right," They nodded, trailing off to follow Cheka's wanderings.

Leona spared another glance at Cheka's sunset-colored hair. The sight of it had been burned into his memory ever since they first met.

Leona blinked and he was back to being seventeen, still living in the confines of the palace. He had rejected the invitation in NRC, still hellbent on trying to find a way to get himself to the throne. (How utterly foolish, he now thought.)

The hallways were filled with the sound of celebration. Usually, Leona wouldn't take interest in what was going on in the palace. But this time, the fanfare came to find him. There was a knock on his door, Falena's attendant telling him that the King had called for him. He should've known that something big had happened when even he was smiling.

Yet it wasn't until Falena was ushering him towards a cot (newly installed) and seeing his Oneesama resting in bed (sweat beading at her brows) that Leona really understood what was going on.

It felt like a kick to the chest when he saw him for the first time. Bright yellow and orange hair, rounded nose, and a pudgy face. Brown rounded ears that were a little too big, dressed in royal colors. The spitting image of Falena with a sprinkling of Oneesama, condensed into a child.

"This is your new nephew," Falena had said, his voice sounding so far away. "The naming ceremony won't be until tomorrow, but I'll tell you his name beforehand: Cheka Kingscholar."

Cheka Kingscholar.

This tiny little cub whose hand was a tenth of his was now the new rightful heir of Afterglow Savanna. He thought that he had at least a year before something like this happened, but it seemed like his time had been cut short.

He couldn't help but run away; away from that room, away from the child, away from Falena, and far, far away from everyone who would be able to see the tears streaking down his face.

On the day of the naming ceremony, Leona slinked through the halls, avoiding the guards and servants who busily moved about. He didn't want to get caught and dragged out to face the people after all.

Suddenly, his ears picked up a sharp wailing noise. He turned a corner, following the noise to a room. The door clicked open easily and he recognized it immediately.

It was his nephew's new room. And sure enough, there Cheka Kingscholar was, complete with tears rolling down flushed cheeks and fluffy ears flattened against unruly hair.

"Why're you crying, brat?" Leona leaned over the crib, watching as the baby kept crying. "You've got everything I ever wanted to have... A loving family, the right to the throne, and everyone adores you." He reached a hand forward, gripping the edge of the crib.

He inhaled sharply. And gave the crib a gentle push, letting it rock the slightest bit. Slowly but surely, the cries came to a stop. When he looked down, Cheka's sparkling eyes were staring at him. The kid had the audacity to let out a giggle he saw him, grabbing at his hair successfully.

"What? Are you laughing at me?" He raised a brow, steadying the crib. He had to admit that the brat was a little bit cute even if he was tugging a little too hard at his hair.

Leona paused before voicing his realization, "Hey, now that you've taken my succession rights, you better become a better king than I could be." He found that he couldn't bring himself to hate this little cub, despite him bringing an end to all his dreams.

There was a lump in his throat as he kept speaking, "So don't bother with me, alright? I'll just be your scary uncle that never visits. So...just forget about me."

At that point, Leona realized how pointless it was to talk to a literal baby. He quickly left the room, watching the door for a few minutes until he saw Oneesama enter the room.

And within the same week, he walked into NRC's Hall of Mirrors for the first time; the Mirror frantically shouting that his soul perfectly matched Savanaclaw. There were times when Leona felt bitter. Where he would long for the throne yet again, but he knew it was a hopeless endeavor.

"Ojitan! I've got something to give you!" Leona blinked away his daze only to be met with a brightly smiling Cheka.

He turned up his nose, "Do it quick, screech box, I’ve got things to do."

"Like sleeping," the herbivore commented drily; though he mercifully chose to ignore it this time.

"Here!" Cheka pushed something right at his face. "Open it now!"

It was a card, written in messy handwriting and punctuated by random doodles and spontaneous bursts of glitter. Leona looked at the drawings in a daze. There was a figure that was clearly Cheka, along with his parents. And right next to Falena was a figure that looked suspiciously like him.

"Happy Early Birthday!" Cheka cheered, climbing right into his lap. He nuzzled his face right into his neck, little arms wrapping around Leona’s shoulders.

"Brat," Leona said in a warning tone, pushing at the cub's face. "My birthday isn't for a while, but...thanks." He could see how Cheka lit up at the praise, practically bouncing and planting a kiss on his cheek before running back to the herbivore.

"He said 'thank you'!" Cheka preened as if a 'thank you' from him was worth thousands of thaumarks. They said something in return but Leona wasn't listening. He was still staring at the hastily drawn picture, the paper creasing where he held it too tight.

Even if it felt like a burden, family would always be family to Leona. That was the reason that he couldn't raise a hand against Falena, even if he was an ever-present thorn at his side. And that was the reason why he couldn't send Cheka away, even if he disturbed his peace.

(And if that card ended up in the confines of one of his rarely-used drawers, safely preserved with a protective spell, then well...Leona wouldn't know anything about it.)

iv. captured

“Checkmate.”

“Urk,” The Savanaclaw student in front of him winced as he stared down at the chessboard. “T-that was fast…”

Leona let a smirk spread on his face as he watched the student reset the board. He loosened his bolo tie as he sat, resting his chin in an open hand.

“Wow, I’m starting to get goosebumps,” Ruggie’s voice couldn’t have been any farther away from admiration. “Is this your fortieth win today?”

“Forty-first,” Leona corrected, his eyes languidly combing the room for a certain face. “I’m taking a break now.”

As Ruggie continued to fuss with his ever-growing pile of presents, Leona went back to searching the crowd. Quite a lot of people had come for the celebration of his birthday.

But the one he was really looking for was…running around serving drinks.

Leona bit back a sigh. Of course they would be one of the people working in this crowd. Hell, even that busy-bodied octopunk wasn’t lifting a finger for his birthday. It was half-amusing and half-frustrating to see.

His ears twitched as he heard footsteps approaching him, and there was Jack. A plate piled high full of meat rested in the burly freshman’s hands as he shifted from left to right.

“Uh…” Jack coughed. “I thought Leona-senpai might’ve been hungry, so I got you something.”

He stared at Jack before, tilting his head to the table, “Put it down there, pup.”

“Please don’t call me that,” Jack said, though Leona could see the stable swish of his tail behind him. “I got a variety of meat for you, senpai. So happy birthday and I promise I’ll catch up to you in spelldrive soon.”

He watched as Jack left. If Jack was a chess piece, Leona was sure he would be a knight. Knights move in their rigid L-shape, yet it is a powerful piece. They can be the very force that topples the stability of a game. They’re able to break through defenses that other pieces might not be able to touch.

Leona rolled his eyes at the thought. Was it because it was his birthday that he was feeling sentimental? Anyway, all he knew was that Jack was undoubtedly a part of his pride; the small circle of people that Leona let befriend him.

“Eh~ Leona-san not finishing a plate of meat in two seconds?” Ruggie’s voice reached him faster than the lightness of his steps. “Next thing I know you’ll tell me you went vegetarian, shishishishi~”

“Shut it, Ruggie,” Leona stabbed a fork into a steak, his fangs cutting through the meat like butter. “And go get me a drink while you’re at it.”

“But, Leona-san, wouldn’t you rather get a drink delivered to you by your precious little herbivore?” Leona wasn’t sure what part of him betrayed his thoughts; his tail, ears, or even his expression but Ruggie burst into laughter. “This is so rich! Give me a sec, it’ll be a special service since it’s my boss’ birthday.”

“Oi, Ruggie—”

But before he could even utter another word, Ruggie had sped off into the crowd. Leona sighed for two reasons: one, because he almost felt sorry for all the people Ruggie had mugged in the crowd, and two, because Ruggie was a little too observant at times.

If Ruggie was a chess piece, he would be a pawn. That might be cruel to say, but pawns are a formidible piece. They might go unnoticed like infantry in a war. And yet only pawns are able to sneak through the board to bring another queen into the battle. An expert at rallying allies and an unseen giant in chess. That was the pawn.

Leona placed his fork on the table, before speaking, “You’re a hundred years early if you wanna sneak up on me like that.”

“How did you- Never mind,” They shuffled in front of him, carrying a tray of drinks. “What would you like to drink?”

“Hmm?” Leona felt his tail rising into the air, though he didn’t stop it. “Aren’t you supposed to be more polite to the birthday boy?”

Their brows furrowed, “You didn’t even like being called the birthday boy!”

“And what? I can’t change my mind on that?” Leona felt a slow smirk grow on his face the more they looked like they were about to deck him with the drink tray.

“Alright.” They took a breath. “Happiest of days of birth, Leona Kingscholar! If you would be so inclined to state your preference of beverage, I shall happily acquire it for you.”

Leona’s smirk twisted into a frown, “Never do that ever again.”

There was a small smile toying at their lips before they put down a glass, “Fine. Here, I heard this drink was your favorite.”

“You’re gonna leave just like that?” Emerald green eyes softened just a little upon meeting their gaze. “Don’t tell me you didn’t get your favorite lion a gift, herbivore.”

They sighed in what Leona thought was exasperation, “Of course I did. It’s sitting in your room.”

“Then let’s go.”

“Huh?” Leona had to admit, seeing their eyes blinking at him in confusion like that was pretty damn cute.

“C'mon herbivore, let’s ditch the party for a bit,” Leona stood up, casting a spell on both of them while he waved a hand. This way people wouldn’t be able to see him leave.

“Wait a sec, what about the cake?” They blurted, hand secured in Leona’s own. And for once, Leona was glad he wasn’t wearing his gloves, relishing in the warm press of his palm against theirs.

“I don’t like sweets,” Leona reminded, leading them through the hallways of the Savanaclaw dormitories.

“I know, but— why am I coming with you anyway? You could open it by yourself, can’t you?” But at that point, Leona had already made up his mind.

“Indulge in me for a little, herbivore,” Leona’s expression filled with mirth. “Tonight’s supposed to be a celebration for me, right?”

“You— I seriously think that you’re overdoing it on the birthday boy thing,” They grumbled as the pair finally made it into the privacy of Leona’s room. The sounds of the party gently trickled in through Leona’s open windows, and he spotted their gift easily.

It was a small box, a simple piece of twine with a tag completing the present. He started to shake it, only to be interrupted by their gasp, “Wait! It’ll break if you handle it carelessly!”

Leona raised a brow, “’S it really that fragile? Fine, I’ll open it carefully, alright?” They nodded, looking infinitely more nervous now, though Leona couldn’t fathom why.

Inside the box was a smaller metal box. He turned it around in his hands, “What am I supposed to do with this?” They hesitated, before pressing one of the buttons on the side.

An image flickered to life on a holographic screen. He poked a finger through it, watching the display distort around his fingers. The pictures changed every few seconds, each one more surprising than the last.

“It’s…a photo album,” They handed the box back to him. “There’s a lot of pictures in there, I dug some up from the school newspaper and magicam account. There are also pictures I got from his majesty, Falena too. I had the device commissioned by Ignihyde, which is why it’s so…futuristic looking.”

“It must’ve cost a lotta money,” Leona said quietly, unable to take his eyes off the pictures. There were pictures of him as a child sprinkled amongst his memories in NRC. There were even pictures that were no doubt their work; evident from the way Leona recognized all his favorite napping spots in the background.

“That’s right,” They nudged at his elbow. “You should appreciate my hard work.” And it hit Leona right then and there that the reason they had been working so hard— the very reason they needed all that money in the first place— was because of this very gift in his hands. There was a lump in his throat as more and more pictures passed; the memories flashing in his mind both bitter and sweet.

“I do,” He placed the box down, turning to face them. "Thank you.”

The thanks that left Leona’s lips were more sincere than he was expecting. But Leona wasn’t surprised anymore considering these complicated feelings that swirled around his heart. He already tried suppressing them; acting unfairly mean, and arrogant towards them, even going as far as ignoring them for a while. But to Leona, it felt even worse to be without them than it was to have them around, even if they didn’t know of his feelings. So he swallowed his self-deprecation and anxiety in order to stay with them. He had already made up his mind to let those feelings stay, even if he wasn’t equipped with the knowledge to adequately express them.

Ah, but if they were a chess piece, would they be the queen to his king? The king was quite lazy. The most important piece, and yet he doesn’t move around all that much. He was always being protected by other pieces, whilst the queen was free to move around as she wished. The queen was fitting for them; in the way they ran head-first into battles they might not even win. Though, there was something bothering him with this thought.

Another possibility entered his mind not soon after: what if they were his king?

If they were chess pieces in Leona’s imaginary game, it would make the utmost sense if they were the king. The king was no doubt the center of the game. A piece to be protected at all costs, lest the game is lost. Just like how they were always in the center of everything and everyone here at NRC. And if they were the king, then he would willingly become their queen. Because for them, there wasn’t anything Leona wouldn’t give.

“The Leona Kingscholar thanking little old me?” Leona let his tail swat at their face. “It was a joke, really! I’m just glad that you liked it. I wasn’t sure if you’d like this type of gift.”

“This type of gift being…?”

“A sentimental gift,” A smile tugged at their lips. “I guess there are even days where the great Leona Kingscholar feels sentimental.”

And instead of refuting it, Leona simply agreed, “I guess there are.”

Matters of the heart seemed to elude him, but for them, Leona was willing to be a fool in love. They had somehow captured him, disarming all of Leona’s carefully constructed defenses and taking his heart as their own.

Even now, as they blinked at him, completely unaware of his internal dilemma, Leona couldn’t help but bump his head against theirs in fondness. The little squawk they let out at the sudden motion only served to make him smile, though he quickly hid it with a turn of his head.

“Watch the rest of it with me,” The offer was whispered; as if Leona was too afraid to break the silence that had surrounded them. They nodded, and Leona was all too happy to shuffle towards the pillows on his bed. After getting in a more, mm, comfortable position— which entailed using the herbivore as a pillow— he was content to watch the pictures change. He offered up a couple of comments on a few pictures, earning a few hums in reply.

Leona didn’t get to cut the cake with his dorm mates that year; much to the disappointment of many. To him, it was the first birthday that he truly felt like he belonged. And those memories were more precious and infinitely sweeter than the taste that any expensive cake could bring him.

thank you for reading ! i hope you enjoyed and once again, happy birthday to leona kingscholar <333 if you'd like to read more, check out my masterlist >:DDD

#/trau writes #/trau fics #i'm doing this for the lion man #that's my mantra rn sjdfkjskf #legitimately sick as i'm editing #oof sorry if the ending sucks #i'm literally so fucking sleepy help #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader #leona kingscholar x you #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland fics #twst fics #twst x reader

800 notes · View notes