Tumgik
#just wanted to share some of my favorites :}
lxnarphase · 2 days
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sweet, sticky, thick, and pretty ๋࣭ ⭑
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☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : toji wants to give you another baby
☾₊‧⁺...cw : toji fushiguro x fem!reader, smut, penetrative sex, pre-established relationship, overstimulation, unprotected sex, breeding kink, dirty talk, rough sex, begging, smug and cocky reader, feral toji
☾₊‧⁺...a/n : this is a post from my old blog but i revamped it and i really wanted to share this again because i was really proud of it. and yes, it's another breeding kink + pregnant kink. consider it a part two, since it takes place after megumi is born
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toji never thought he’d get off on the idea of having another kid with you.
yet here he is, dick hard in his sweatpants as he thinks about you carrying his baby again...how you'd start to fill out all over again, that cute chubbiness coming back, how he'd have an excuse to dote on you whenever you complained about the simplest of things.
it starts off with how he sees you coo over megumi, calling him your sweet baby. you're such a good mother, too, it's clear you'd likely be the favorite parent to that little brat.
but god, does he find it attractive just seeing you be a mom to the kid that he gave you.
the day you ask megumi what he wants for his upcoming 4th birthday at dinner, neither one of you is prepared for the words that come out of your son's mouth.
“i want a baby sister,” he states bluntly as he chews on the steamed carrots, looking at you and toji. it was clear from how confident the little guy is that he's put a lot of thought into this.
“but, i don’t want her to look like daddy. he’s ugly, i want her to look like mommy.”
little brat. you straight up choke, trying to stop the laugh-coughs as toji looks at his son, offended. this really is his son, because who else but you and the kid he made with you could have the nerve to say shit like that to him?
“twerp, you look just like me, you realize that, right?”
megumi huffs, looking at his dad in the cutest little glare. “that’s 'cause i'm a boy, though," he explains as if it's obvious, his precious little cheeks puffed up as he stuffs more of his food in his mouth.
"my sister has to be like mommy. you’d be an ugly girl, daddy.” toji just rolls his eyes, pinching the cheeks of the mini him, ignoring his protests. as the two bicker, you think. would it...really be that bad to have another baby? you always wanted a girl, after all, and toji took such good care of you and megumi...it couldn't be that bad. “well, uhm,” you begin, catching the attention of toji, an unfamiliar smile on your face.
there's a mischievous look on your face right now, his eyes narrowing as he waits for your response. whatever you're about to say is either going to haunt him for the next few days or make him roll his eyes at you.
“i'm sure daddy and i can work something out for you, 'gumi, but let’s think of some other things, too, m'kay?” 
ah.
you went the haunting route.
ignoring the little cheer his son let out, toji can't hide the disbelieving look that crosses his face when he processes what you just said.
'daddy'?
you've said the word, sure, usually when you talk to megumi about him. but something was different about how you said it, the way you looked at him when you said it, the barely visible flutter of your eyes...a silent promise there'd definitely be a deeper conversation about it later.
the very day megumi has a sleepover with the neighbor's kid, yuuji, toji is mentally cheering. he loves his son with all his heart, he truly does, but having a toddler in bed meant limited contact with his pretty wife.
it's only been 3 days since that little comment you made and it's been on toji's mind constantly. every time he tried to bring it up with you, megumi would interrupt and toji was not being the reason his son ended up traumatized because he overheard mommy and daddy talking about making babies in the kitchen.
"bye, gumi! make sure you behave for mr. nanami, okay? have fun with yuuji," you coo as you press two kisses to your son's cheeks, snapping toji back to the present.
"see ya, kid, be good," toji says, giving a nod of acknowledgement to nanami. megumi barely says goodbye before he runs after yuuji to the car, his run a bit awkward because of his overnight backpack.
waving goodbye to nanami, you shut the door, turning to look at toji with that smile as you.
"hi, toj."
you think you're so cute, don't you?
"hey, mama."
toji can't even lie, you are. wearing his t-shirt and sweatpants? yeah, your the cutest thing he's ever laid eyes one. his hands rest on your hips, pulling you flush to his chest. fuck, you weren't even doing anything but he could already feel himself getting hard just from looking at you.
he's never been so whipped in his life.
"d'you wanna talk," you murmur lowly, your finger running over the thin silver chain on his neck. "we could go to the bedroom...and talk about the baby thing."
toji's eyes darken at the suggestion, knowing exactly what would happen the moment you both go into the bedroom. "yeah. think it's 'bout time we talked about it," he hums as he grips your wrist, tugging you to your room.
as soon you both step foot into the bedroom, toji hungrily presses your lips against his, letting out a deep groan. "had me thinkin' about knockin' you up again all fuckin' week, mama," toji sighs against your lips, tongue running over your lower lip.
"wanted to stuff you full so fucking bad."
feeling you sigh so prettily into the kiss, his doesn't hesitate to shove his tongue in your mouth, hands busying themselves as they push your (his) sweats down off your hips before guiding you back to the bed.
you knew he would get excited over your comment, but you didn't think it would be to the point where he was rutting into you as he practically devoured you, feeling your back hit the bed.
“you want to give our 'gumi a sister? wanna be a mommy again," he questions, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against yours. one of his hands slithers up under the oversized t-shirt to cup one of your tits and roughly knead it, his thumb just barely grazing over your nipple.
"wanna have another kid with big, bad toji? tsk, poor cunt missed gettin' stuffed full of cum?" 
you just hum a little breathless. your hand comes up to cup his cheek, looking from his lips back up to his eyes. he's so handsome when he's over you like this, his chain dangling right in your face.
“maaaaybe. megumi just made me think about it, 's all. you've been a good dad t' him, how could i not want to give you another one,” you coo, guiding him closer so you can press a kiss against the scar on his lip. 
“besides…”
toji grunts when he feels your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him flush against you so you can feel the thick, heaviness of his arousal through his sweatpants.
“don’t you want me to make you a daddy again, toji? c'mon, knock me up, big guy.”
after those words leave your pretty little mouth, toji is on you as he realizes that you're 100% going to give him the worse breeding kink ever.
"'m gonna fuckin' ruin you," he growls into your ear. you aren't given a second to protest before he's ripped your panties off, complaints falling on deaf ears. the tips of his fingers gently run over your puffy pussy lips, your slick wetness coating his fingers.
"fuck, mama, you're soaked already." his eyes are focused on your face as you squirm and whimper when he swirls little circles into your clit, an evil smirk on his face. "can't wait to fill you up 'til you're dripping with my cum, doll."
you can't stop your hips from trying to grind into his hand, eyes rolling back when he teased your entrance. "toji, c'mon, baby, i need you s'bad."
"baby, you know you can't take me without prep," he coos at you. he can feel how hot and slick you are, finally, finally slipping two of his fingers inside your cunt. and oh, the way you arch your back a little bit with a pleading whine of his name is so, so pretty, you're so fucking cute.
"mmn, maybe y'don't need prep, you just sucked my fingers right in," he says huskily before pressing a little kiss to the corner of your mouth. "you wanna try, mama? wanna see if you can fit my cock in you? really gonna feel that stretch, though, babe," toji warns, knowing you can't give a sensible answer when he starts pumping his fingers in and out.
when it seems like your about to answer him, the only thing that escapes your mouth is a shaky moan, his thick fingers curling to hit just the right spot inside of you that has you gushing. unable to form words, you tug on his shirt and nod frantically, just wanting to feel toji stuffing you full.
"yeah? you wanna try?" toiji pulls his fingers out of you, chuckling when you whine at the sudden feeling of emptiness. he pops his fingers in his mouth, cock throbbing at the addictive taste of your cunt on his tongue. "c'mon, we're both wearing too much, let's get you outta that shirt, ma."
you waste no time throwing the shirt off, not even giving him the chance to undress you. but once your shirt is off, you're practically ripping off his stupid black t-shirt that made his pecs look fucking delicious and those damn sweatpants and boxers that hid your prize.
as you fuss over his boxers, toji takes a moment to look at you spread out on the bed before him. you still had a bit of chub on you, tummy nice and soft and cute, just how he likes it. if he knew where his phone was, he'd take a picture of you right now; frustrated, horny, naked, and pretty. all for him.
"tojiiii, stop staring and kick off your stupid boxers, you're getting on my nerves!"
you can't even look him in the eye as you say that because you're too busy staring right at his cock, a thick bead of precum formed at the tip. the lick of your lips told him everything he needed to know, but he wasn't fucking your mouth, not tonight at least.
"what? i can't look at my own wife," he asks with a raised eyebrow, biting back a laugh when you swat at his hand that pinches one your puffy nipple. "tch, so rude, doll."
before you can snap back at him, he brushes the swollen head of his cock against your slick folds, smearing your wet over the tip. that shuts you up quickly and toji has to hold back another laugh. always so fussy until he finally gives you what you want. he's spoiled you rotten.
"toji," comes a soft whine, so soft he nearly misses it. your eyes are focused between your legs, lower lips between your teeth as he teases you with his cockhead. you huff, pushing your hand against his chest to give you enough space to shift positions, knowing exactly what would get him to stop teasing you.
once you roll over, you shift so that you're face down, ass up, you hand slipping between your thighs to spread your sticky pussy open, slick dripping down your fingers. "tojiiii, please? please, baby, stop teasing an' put a baby in me...please, hubby, give your wife what she wants."
any other whines or begs are interrupted when his hand comes down hard on your ass. he was going to give you what you wanted, what you both wanted. he was going to fuck you, fill you up with all his cum and whatever leaked out? he’d make sure to push it back in, whether with his fingers, mouth, or tip of his dick. 
when he finally pushes into you, he just lets out the most wrecked groan you’ve heard from him yet, each inch sinking into you stretching those tight walls just a bit more.
"holy shit...fuuck me, baby, too fucking tight, you're strangling my cock," he hisses, fingers digging into the fat of your hips as he gave you inch after inch.
god, just the thought of fucking you not just to feel good, but to fill you up, get you to take his seed deep inside to give him another kid? it's fucking with his head, his wife was gonna be the death of him.
both of you moan once he's all the way inside. you feel so full, his cock is too fucking big it doesn't make any sense and you genuinely think you should've let him fully prep you...but shifting your hips just a little bit has his tip pressing against something sinful. you whine and reach back to grab at one of his hands on your waist, turning to shoot him a mean glare as you demand, “stop stalling n’ knock me up, toji." 
who is he to deny what his wife asks?
using a hand to steady himself on the headboard, his hips begin to move slowly, pulling out just an inch and pushing forward again. "so tight 'n' warm..." each thrust hits deeper and more powerful than the last as toji begins to pick up speed, the thickness of his cock hitting every deep part of you.
it's almost too much, but you don't want him to stop, especially not when toji started running his mouth.
“shit, look at you, baby…takin’ it like a champ.”
now you really wish you stayed on your back, then at least you could've slapped a hand over his mouth to shut him up. you drop your head down against the mattress with a moan, starting to move your hips to match his thrusts, the room filling with the sound of skin slapping on skin.
“fuuck, c'mon, throw that ass back on me, thaaaat’s it, good girl.” 
he starts pounding into you harder when he feels you tightening up on him. the sweet moans and adorable words of “gimme more,” “baby, please,” or “s’ too good, toj,’” only pushing him to get even deeper, to get you to cum so he could stuff you full.
he coos when he sees you starting to scramble up further on the bed, away from his relentless fucking. he knows that he found that sweet spot that would have you creaming in minutes.
"tsk, you just never fuckin' learn, huh? 's always gonna be too much for you, isn't it," he huffs as his hand finds its way into your hair, tugging your head back to keep you from moving more. “hey. hey, nonono, don’t run away from it, lemme have it," he coos at you, following you up the mattress.
you never change, always swearing up and down that you wouldn't run from his cock, that you'd be able to take him. you wanted this, you wanted your precious husband to fuck another baby into you, t'give 'gumi a little sister, s’ i’m gonna give it to you.”
toji may sound like he’s still put together, but he’s just thankful you can’t see his face since yours is pressed into the pillows at the top of the bed.
you can’t see how he’s barely holding himself together, trying his hardest not to let himself go too much. the last thing he needs is to cum before you, knowing that while you wouldn’t mind, he’d be annoyed for breaking his streak.
he’s brought back into the present when you manage to turn your head a little, able to look him in the eye, and god, does he love what he sees.
your mouth is open as you moan for him, eyes lidded and focused on only him. he sees the little tears gathered in them, not quite spilling over but the fact that they’re there tells him he’s the one making you feel that good. 
“tuh-toji, ’m gonna cum, gonna cum—!”
"yeah?" hearing you moan so sweetly for him only makes toji smirk, fingers digging into your hips as he helps you meet each thrust. “gonna make a mess f'me already? poor little cunt can't handle gettin' fucked so good? mmn, shit, 's okay, baby. let go for me, mama, cum on daddy’s cock.” 
"t-tojiiiii," you shakily moan, nearly ripping the sheets as you cum suddenly. it was his voice, the way he tried to sound put together but you could hear how desperate he was to feel your pussy clamp down on him and get his cock nice and messy.
toji's deep, guttural moans mix with your cries when he unexpected is pushed over the edge, the way you desperately grinded back against him causing him to swear under his breath as he lost his pace, groaning your name as he emptied into you. it felt so hot, the pulsating warmth of his tip nudging against your cervix paired with his thick cum filling you up dizzying the both of you. 
you expect some kind of snarky comment from toji, trying to catch your breath so you could reply when he said it. but nothing comes (you have to stop yourself from laughing at the pun). you turn to look back, sighing when toji pulls out of you. usually he stayed inside, leaning down to tease you for cumming so fast...but he didn't.
something was wrong and for some reason, you felt like your pussy was in danger.
“toj…?”
he didn’t answer. he probably didn’t even hear you, not with the way he was looking so intensely at the mess between your thighs. the mess he made. toji doesn’t know what comes over him, his hands practically moving on their own as he moves you over onto your back, then moving his hands down to your sensitive hole and spreading. 
the scene in front of him just breaks him. you let out a soft whine, hips gently rolling into his hands. his eyes stay stuck between your legs—sharp and focused—as they watch the thick globs of his hot cum drip out of your hole and down onto the bed sheets.
the groan that leaves him is sinful, and once you make eye contact with him, you realize how fucked you are. he’s hard again, almost making you believe he didn’t cum if it weren’t for the creamy sheen of his cum on his throbbing dick and the hotness of his dripping out of you. before you know it, toji’s climbing over you, making sure your legs get pushed over to his shoulders as he pushes you into a mating press.
yeah.
you're fucked.
you keep making eye contact, and now that he’s so close to you, you see how crazed he looks. his eyes, completely black due to his blown pupils, have an unhinged look in them, and the half smirk on his face only makes you worry about your ability to walk the next day.
“t-toji, if you need a break to calm down, then-oh!” 
he shuts you up by pushing himself inside you, loving how your eyes cross so prettily. he has you now, you can't run away from the overstimulating feeling of him fucking you in this position. and when you feel his hands come up and lock together on your head to really keep you in place, you feel yourself gush all over his cock at the simple display of how strong he was compared to you.
you're so fucked.
all you can do is moan and cry out his name, hands grabbing whatever part of him they could reach. but he doesn't let you break eye contact, keeping you close to his face so he could see every little expression. and fuck, does he like what he sees.
“t-tojiii, t’ deep, t’ deep!”
“wan’ me t’ stop? t’ stop fuckin’ this messy hole?”
“fuck, y-you stop, and I’ll c-choke the shit out of yo-ouh!”
“that’s it, take it, take daddy’s cock, mama, lemme breed you.”
everything about this position is driving both of you crazy.
the closeness has you reeling, the way toji just cannot bring himself to break eye contact, needing to see what he was doing to you.
his thick cock is hitting deep, almost too deep, with the way each thrust of his hips causes the tip to press into the sweet spot inside you every. single. time. 
he has you for the whole day and the whole night, he's going to make sure you're stuffed entirely and doesn't plan on stopping until either you tell him you need a break or until he can't cum anymore. and even then, he doesn't think anything will be able to get him out of your cunt.
but with the way he just moaned into your mouth, thick spurts of more cum coating your insides…and the way he didn’t get soft, instead pressing you even deeper into the mattress as he began to pound into you with a groan of how much he loved your pussy…
you were sure it would be a while until he was done with you.
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all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
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euaphoric · 1 day
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𝟎𝟏. 🥛 ✶𓏲ּ “ i want to sew all my love into you ” — [ 정국이 ]
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he was comfort, security, and need, all in one. it had a name; home <3
pairing ◞⁺⊹ husband!jk x wife!reader genre ◞⁺⊹ married/domestic au, pwp, slight age difference (jk is older by 5 years)
warnings ◞⁺⊹ insane tooth-rotting fluff bc i’m in need of high dopamine levels, cute n soft smut, you’re a clingy wifey, minor mentions of anxious/sad thoughts, o/c is kinda whiny and hella attention/touch-starved, o/c just misses her bby fr, daddy kink, major impreg kink, foreplay, they get all sentimental n mushy gushy at the end agghhh, aftercare bc koo is the literal definition of the perfect husband ^_^ wc ◞⁺⊹ 4.6k
音楽 — eyes locked, hands locked by rv
i’m vv excited to be back and writing again, i missed it sm ;(( i did this poll i few days ago and this idea won but i’ve decided to write them all so this is the first of three !! (〃ノωノ)゚+°
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summer days grew humid, each was hotter than the last. though it isn’t your least favorite season, you prefer to spend most of your time indoors as the heat often makes you feel faint and the air can be suffocating. usually these lazy, torrid afternoons were shared with your lovely husband, either you two would be laid up on the sofa or in bed watching your favorite shows/movies but today went a little off schedule.
you were all alone in your bedroom, feeling a bit sulky as your husband wasn’t around to tend to your needs or give you any affection. it’s not jungkook’s fault though; he’s been toiled away since this morning, offering to help your parents move and rearrange some of the new furniture that arrived today. you decided to stay at your family beach house this summer for a change of scenery, you hadn’t been here since you were seventeen, let alone seen your parents in person since last year. spending some quality time together has been long overdue and you couldn’t be any happier about it.
both your parents absolutely adore jungkook, they thought he was the sweetest, kindest, most generous person they’ve ever met— which says a lot considering they’ve never been a fan of anyone you dated previously. when you introduced him to them a few years ago, they had slightly pre-judged him based off his outward appearance, assuming that he wouldn’t be the type to take relationships seriously or even want to settle down and get married someday. but not even hours later their perceptions of him changed drastically, your parents could tell that he was a genuine soul who loved you unconditionally and would do absolutely anything for you.
that very same day, your mom spoke with you privately to express her virtuous first impressions, saying how much she loves him already and this is who you should’ve been dating from the start. your parents had extremely high standards for your future partner, especially your mom— but jungkook exceeded every single one of their expectations, checking all the boxes off their list. “i can tell just by the glint in his eyes whenever he looks at you… he’s more than in love, he’s infatuated. the way he talks about you as if you’re the most wonderful thing to have ever came into his life— he’s definitely going to be the one you’ll marry.” your mom gets all teary eyed as she spoke those last few words, picturing her one and only daughter all grown up, in a beautiful wedding dress, finally getting to see you live your happily ever after.
not even a couple months after graduating from uni you got engaged to the love of your life, proudly getting your degree you worked your ass off for and becoming a soon to be wife. you had to move across the country for a job offer of a lifetime but it was worth it, jungkook was beyond supportive in any decision you made and was there with you every step of the way, holding your hand through it all.
shortly after moving, you two got married and the rest was history, it was stressful dealing with so many life changing events all within a span of such a short time but you somehow managed. had it not been for jungkook’s constant encouragement and willingness to work/talk things out, you would’ve been a complete trainwreck. he was the balance you needed to keep yourself afloat, you felt so lucky, more than blessed to have a caring, understanding man like him.
the more you daydream about him, the more you wished he was holding you right now. you’re feeling lonely, so empty, and a little sad, his absence fills your mind with restless thoughts, hoping that he’ll come to your rescue soon enough. before jungkook, you were highly independent, never needed anyone to take care of you because you did everything for yourself; he never gave up on gaining your trust and has shown time and time again how dependable he is. you’ll forever admire how much effort he’s put into getting to know you over the years, that no one’s ever came close to making you feel the way he does— so high as if you’re soaring through the sky, living in heaven on earth.
he was the main provider of the household, you didn’t have to worry about anything nor lift a finger, all you did was focus on your career. you had a worry free lifestyle, the perfect job, perfect husband, what was there to possibly complain about? most aren’t so fortunate to be in your position so you never took any of it for granted. you love him more than anything in this world, you couldn’t stand to be away from him for another minute, you miss your hubby so much :( you craved his presence near you, needing him around you physically, wanting his soothing touch to ease your mind.
you wanna feel his sunkissed skin against yours, his warmth, the way his scent clouds your senses as he trails kisses down the curve of your neck, tangling your fingers in his dark, wispy hair. you want to lay your head on his broadened chest while snuggling up into him, hearing the gentle sounds of his heartbeat, intertwining your small hands with his large ones. you desire for him to kiss you everywhere, leaving no surface of you going untouched, pinning your body down between him and the mattress, like a flower pressed into the pages of a book and all that’s written is his name over and over. so many different scenarios play in your head as a means to pass the time, but they can only keep you sane for so long.
you’ve grown desperate for him at this point, finally coming out of your room to see what he might be up to now, searching the entirety of the house. you ended up finding him downstairs in the living room with your mom right beside as verbal assistance, not only did he lift and move most of the furniture but now he’s helping to mount up the new TV without even breaking a sweat in the process. was there anything he couldn’t do? probably not, he was a man of endless talents. your dad was sent out to go grocery shopping so your husband was pretty much doing everything on his own while your mom simply watches in amusement.
she was yet again impressed by your husband’s handy work, “wow jungkook, you’re really strong!” he was indeed. now you’re getting flashbacks to when he’d manhandle you and lift your body with ease in one swift motion to switch positions. his hands needed to be all over you right this second or else you’ll simply die of attention starvation. “mom, are you gonna keep him busy all day? ‘m getting really boreddd.” you childishly whine as if you weren’t a fully grown, married adult. to be fair though, it’s been hours since you’ve seen him and as much as you wanted to give him some space to help out around the house, you still had your needs to. the need in question being him in your bed, immediately.
“why don’t you go sit by the pool or something? you’ve been cooped up in that room since this morning, get some fresh air!” your mom suggests an alternative to wait but you shook your head in an instant, “nuh uh, too hot, i’ll melt like an ice cream cone!” you’d rather stay locked inside your air conditioned room than having to deal with the searing hot sun baking you well done at 450 degrees. “i’m almost done sweetheart, promise.” jungkook quickly reassures before hammering one of the nails into the wall, the way his veins would protrude through his arms as he repeats the action made you mindlessly clench your thighs together. he could make anything look insanely hot, it was almost unfair.
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
after another twenty minutes or so he was finally done and now free to go, thrilled to have him all to yourself once again. you practically yanked his arm off as you led him up the staircase but your mom had one more thing to say, “will you be helping us tonight with dinner? i’m making your favorite!” he turns for a second to answer, “uh- yes of course !” that enthusiastic, bunny-like smile of his that you’ve grown to love for so long never fails to make you melt, just so effortlessly pretty without even trying.
but now you realize that you only have a limited amount of time with him, great… you’ll have to wait even longer to have him exactly as you’ve imagined. there’s only so much pent up sexual frustration you can take, you’ve been patient for almost eight hours. that’s probably the longest you two might’ve gone without having sex— okay maybe that’s an exaggeration but you do have a very active sex life with your husband, you try to do it at least twice a day and if you’re both feeling a little friskier it can sometimes go up to 4-5 times~.
your sex drive used to be quite low, never really seeing it as a huge necessity for you— until you met jungkook, of course. there was an immediate sexual attraction that you felt towards him, you’ve never felt so drawn to anyone before, he was irresistible. you’ve had some internal issues with your performance in the bedroom, it took a lot for you to reach your peak but could never get yourself to finish (unless you did it yourself) but with jungkook? that’s a whole different ballgame. you could simply cream in your panties just from kissing those luscious lips of his, he ignites a fire in you that’ll never wither into ashes.
once the door to your room was closed, both his hands found purchase around your waist, caging you into him and pulling you in for a deep kiss, melting right into his hold. your bodies flowing with pure lust and greed for him, not even thinking twice as your hand travels down lower to palm him through his sweats. he let out a breathy chuckle from your sudden actions once he pulled away, “someone’s feelin’ kinda slutty tonight.” he teased, which you took no offense since that’s just your collective humor.
“mhmm, ‘m only the biggest slut for you. now stop neglecting your wifey and gimme all your love.” since he hasn’t been giving you much attention all day you were acting a bit whiny about it, jungkook didn’t like that word though, neglect? that just wasn’t something in his vocabulary when it came to you. “huh? don’t ever say that again, you know i’d never purposefully neglect you, ever.” he made sure to emphasize that, he knows you weren’t being serious but it does hurt a little to know you may secretly feel this way. he loves you and you can feel it without him even needing to say it, that’s how intense it is.
“it was just a joke koo… didn’t mean it like that.” you jut your lip into a tiny pout, leaning in to kiss him again but he turns away, denying you the void of what you wanted most. “a joke is supposed to be funny last time i checked.” he retorts before sneaking off to make a beeline towards the bed, confused when you don’t follow suit after him. “what’re you standing there for? get your little butt over here.” he impatiently demands, patting his lap for you to sit on top. you listen and make your way over to him, straddling his lap with both legs on either side of him as he brings you in closer. he wraps his arms around your waist again, tightly holding you in his grasp, your frame sinks right into his chest.
he locks his lips with yours, kissing you slowly, taking his sweet, sweet time; what’s the rush? you had the rest of the night at your disposal. needy hips languidly rock back and forth against his semi hard-on, the fabric of the pajamas shorts you wore were so thin you could feel his cock throbbing underneath. you audibly gasped when he brushes up against your weak spot, it feels amazing, your panties turned into a sticky puddle from the pleasure; moaning into the kiss as he inhales your sighs. you were more than hungry for him, you were ravenous— only the taste of him could quench your avid thirst. you’re already as close as you can be but you wish to be even closer, if it was impossible you’d crawl into his skin and fuse your bones together to become one, you’re so in love it sickens you.
“need you to touch me,” you whimper for more when his lips drew from yours momentarily, “please.”
jungkook loves seeing you like this, his pretty wife acting all hot and bothered just for him, but he’d lying if he said it wasn’t the same way for you too. “where baby ?” his warm breath against you leaves a shiver to your spine, his voice low and raspy. “everywhere.” you beg in desperation, “just wanna to feel you, need you so bad…” you continued to grind your core onto his clothed erection, becoming even whinier as time passes.
he smirks at that answer, knowing that he’s the only one that can have you in this way. “need you too baby,” his tone is nothing short of a whisper, lazily rutting his hips up to match the pace of your movement, “been thinkin’ about you all day, can’t wait to fuck this little pussy.” his middle and index finds your clit to rub through your pajamas, making you bite your lip so hard it’ll leave a bruise. you’re both so horny and desperate for each other like some hormonal teens, you’re about to explode from how sensitive you are, your whole body feels tingly.
“jungkook!” a familiar voice shouts from a distance, it was muffled but you know that was definitely your mom who just called for him. “come back downstairs, i think something’s wrong with the remote, it’s not working— help !” she sounded a bit overdramatic which is how she usually is most of the time. you groan in annoyance, getting even more frustrated that you had to stop, all you want is some private alone time with your husband but no, the universe said not today! you really wanna curse your mom for being a total cock block right now .. -_-
๑ ๑ ๑
“i’m gonna put a baby in you someday.” your husband casually says while rubbing your stomach, his inked skin splayed across your bare form. “in this cute little tummy right here.” he points near your belly button, planting a small kiss to it. you two were finally alone once again and this time it was for good. after jungkook helped your mom figure out what was wrong with the remote (it wasn’t broken, she just forgot to put a new set of batteries in) and ate dinner with you and your parents, the night was bound to end like this.
this isn’t the first time he’s said something like this and it surely won’t be the last, but you burst into a giggle, “quit kidding around kook.” he’s always playing around but you can count on one hand how many times he’s actually finished inside you, since you’re not on birth control for health reasons you have to be extra careful to not end up getting pregnant. there’s been a handful of times where he’s had to run to the store and get you a morning after pill which you’d just hope for the best and leave it up to the universe. you have noticed that jungkook has been more vocal about wanting children lately, so maybe he’s hinting at finally taking the next step.
“and if i told you i wasn’t?” he shifts slightly, eyes flickering up to stare into your gaze. “would you let me paint your walls ? give you a baby so i can see my stunning wife bear our children?” the thought of you carrying his child pops into his head a lot, probably on an hourly basis— he’s more than ready to start a family, but he’s still not sure where you stand 100% on the idea. there was no pressure on his side, but it’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page.
your hands snake up to his chin, cupping it firmly, ready to make the final say once and for all. “yes koo, i’ll let you do anything to me. i trust you, i trust us.” that’s all you need to withstand through any obstacle(s), trust and trust alone. if that doesn’t exist, the foundation will be sure to crumble— disintegrating into nothing. you’ve never trusted someone as much as you do jungkook, he’s the reason you even get out of bed at times, makes you want to push yourself to become a better person. real love is the refusal to never give up on one another, even through the toughest, most ugliest moments.
what you’ve come to realize is that you have all of him and everything he’s promised to provide is all yours; his heart, his last name, his vow to stay by your side forever— through sickness and health. he’s given every single aspect of himself he has to offer, the only thing left that’s missing is a tiny addition that carries both you and jungkook’s DNA. you’re more than curious to see what the outcome will be, harboring no regrets inside. jungkook’s smile grew wider, feeling faint tears rim his eyes at the thought of you putting all your trust in him. you have no idea just how much that means to him.
his head lowers back to your torso, imprinting a trail of kisses, slowly making his way down further and further. your skin feels as if it’s on fire, boiling hot like the scorching summer heat. he took an ample amount of time to worship your body, leaving wet kisses to your inner thighs, “i’ve wanted this for so long…” he hums against your flesh, insides buzzing with raw passion and desire. “want to finally do this together.” he gently nibbles, a faint bite mark appears to which he repeats on the other side. “your tits are gonna get even bigger, more plump and so full of milk,” he continues, elated with so much enthusiasm, “that pregnancy glow will make you even more gorgeous.” he wasn’t saying all of this for nothing, he truly cannot wait to experience it all, how your belly will grow each month, all the random/weird food cravings you’ll get, and gracefully handle any sudden mood swings.
you were aching for him, you couldn’t even answer back, your heads reeling with too many thoughts— the thought of him stuffing you to the brim with his cock. you were topless but wanted him to take off the rest, wanted him to fuck you until your body physically shakes and you can’t think of anything but him being buried balls deep into your sousing cunt. you had to savour every last bit of this though, etch every little detail in your brain to replay as a supercut one day; remembering the time you two made love to conceive your first child.
jungkook’s slender digits move skillfully to hook around the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down along with your drenched panties. “it’s crazy to me how this is all mine,” he pauses to admire your glistening arousal, scooping it up with his one of his fingers to have a quick taste. saccharine. “i have the prettiest, sexiest, hottest wife in the whole fucking world.” he’ll never not compliment you, even when you’re old and gray he will always remain the same. “stopp~” you toy with your bottom lip, cheeks turning rosy at his constant sweet talk. then you become a pile of mush, simply too absorbed with pleasure as he sunk one of his digits into you, thrusting in and out slowly. “fuck.. feels s’good- please don’t stop.” you beg for this to never end, bidding all concept of time to vanish in hopes of it lasting infinitely.
“we’re going to create the most beautiful family,” he coos, licking a stripe to your clit, swiping up and down as he continued pumping his fingers in your wetness, “just you and me.” he only came up for air to say those last few lines, diving right back in to drink up your deliciousness. his tongue adds light pressure to your overly sensitive bud, making you twitch and subconsciously jolt up— his free hand forcibly brings your hips back down, locking you in place so you have nowhere to go— forced to take all that he gives you. paradise. that’s what this is. you’re already close to the edge, the broken moans that escaped your lips are like a soft ballad to his ears, cursing under your breath, panting, crying out his name repeatedly.
“ah! s’close… don’t stop, don’t stop..” you plea so pathetically, voice getting shakier as you reach your climax, his face was soaked, fucking drenched. he’ll willingly drown, submerge himself into the flood of you, no other place he’d rather be than between these perfect, plush thighs. he drives you into further insanity when his pace drew more rapid, finding the ultimate sweet spot. the lethal combination of his fingers and his tongue working to give you a mind blowing orgasm, all you could do was utter feeble, plaintive cries, latching onto his fluffy hair as you ride out your sudden high that’s stampeding into you full force. your body goes inert, limbs pliant beneath his embrace. “you did so good for me angel, m’so proud of you.” jungkook briefly pecks both your thighs, giving it a little smack once he comes back up to face you again.
he quickly discards the rest of his clothes, but everything’s moving in slow motion. his movements are frantic yet it still wasn’t quick enough, he needs to feel you so badly. his manhood throbs against your folds, sliding his shaft between the puffy, saturated lips, making such delightful sounds. “quit teasin’,” you whine, not in the mood for prolonging this anymore. he doesn’t say anything, just twisting a smile in response, but he’ll give you exactly what you want. who is he to deny his wife’s orders? so he finally enters you, filling you up little by little, inch by inch; and when he’s fully settled in, your walls clench around his length immediately. “never fails to amaze me how i fuck this little pussy on the daily but you’re still so fuckin’ tight… always squeezin’ me babe.” his breath hitched towards the end, already sounding so pussydrunk from the way you suck in the entirety of him.
your legs hook around each side of his waist, keening at the way his cock drives into you, slow but sensual, moving your hips to match his rhythm. “be good for daddy and wait for me. wanna cum together.” he husks, to which you obediently nod at his request. your jaw slacks open wide from his cock hitting your walls beautifully, each stroke he gave sent you to a further state of delirium. he picks up his speed a little more, his brain empty with no thoughts but this warm, dewy pussy swallowing him up, groaning as you leave scratches along his back. jungkook’s sweet compliments never stop, they only intensify. ‘you’re all mine, and i’m all yours baby’ ‘your face looks so pretty when it’s all fucked out’ ‘love fucking this perfect little cunt’ and ‘i love you so much, my angel baby.’ it brings you to the verge, strings of shattered moans evade your senses.
your hands greedily come up the sides of his face, pulling him in for a frenzied, yet passionate kiss caging him in just in case he has second thoughts, trapping him with no choice but to cum inside. “shit— keep going like that and you’re def getting pregnant tonight.” he groans against your lips, this only made you clench around him tighter, “please daddy- wan’ your cum, put your babies in me..” you want him to paint your walls white, milk him for all he’s worth and some. his strokes get sloppier as his high approaches, squeezing your thighs as he plunges deeper. it doesn’t take much longer for him to shoot a hefty in load inside, planting every bit of his seed as the waves of your second orgasm ripples through you. you’re both heavily panting and gasping for air, when he pulls out you’re left empty again, but at least you were stuffed with his hot cum. he looks down at the mess he’s made, sodden and creamy, picking up some that’s spilled out of your cunt to push back in. “we can’t let any go to waste, right ?” “mm… yea.” you bit your lip, still shaking, electricity flowing through your veins.
he topples over in exhaustion, way too tired to move. well, at least for now— he’ll be able to go again in another hour or so. “you’re going to be such an amazing mom,” he says while snuggling up in the crook of your neck, “remember the day i asked you out? i thought you were gonna say no.” that was random… but also jungkook is known for saying the most unexpected shit at the oddest times. “what ?” you were so confused, firstly this came out of nowhere but also why would he ever think that? it was basically love at first sight with each other. “wasn’t nearly as confident back then, i used to practice in the mirror how i’d do it.” he chuckles at those old memories, in hindsight none of it was necessary because he didn’t say any of the lines he rehearsed. defeated the whole purpose.
“since the day we first met i knew you were the girl i’d spend the rest of eternity with.” his fingers trace down your spine as he spoke, you’re so overfilled with joy that you could cry. you regret absolutely nothing, the only thing you do is all the other men who came before jungkook, all those losers who were wastes of time, but that journey has led you here and this is where you’ll stay for the rest of your life. it still feels like the honeymoon stage with him, a never ending blissful rollercoaster. “i want to sew all my love into you,” his hands danced around your skin, inhaling your natural scent, you feel so soft and smooth. “thread by thread, seam by seam, i’ll tether our intricate souls together.” you hummed to his words, he’s a romantic at heart just like you, he still writes occasional love letters to you and is always doing something to bring a smile to your face— whether it be coming home with your favorite candy, buying you flowers, or taking you out on cute, fun dates. every day is like a new surprise, never knowing what you’re gonna get when it comes to your husband’s spontaneity.
you’re both a little sticky, sweaty, and smell of nothing but pure sex. jungkook ends up carrying you all the way to the bathroom, deciding to run a nice, relaxing bath for the two of you. he adds your favorite lavender bubble bath, making the water extra bubbly and soapy for you which he knows you love. when you're both in the bathtub, your backs facing him as he uses a pink loofah to clean you up, embedding gentle kisses to the nape of your neck and shoulders as he does it. he held you for what seemed like forever, just admiring each other’s company while under the water, almost falling asleep right in his arms.
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
let’s make the circle
that’s inside of us.
every day it rotates like that,
color me ☆ 彡
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am trying to write longer stufff, i enjoyed writing this story a lot, lmk what you think . ! ! !
to see more chaos click here (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ♡♡♡ (。・ω・。)ノ♡
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f1goat · 2 days
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more than friends ; lando norris + part eleven
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In which your best friend is going to help you to gain more sexual experience and say goodbye to your insecurities, but he's quick to discover that he never wants to share you and your new experiences with others - the only problem being, him having to confess his feelings.
masterlist - playlist
fem!y/n x lando norris
warnings: smut with a plot. minors dni! probably grammar or spelling errors due to english not being my first language.
requested: yes, based on this request: something with a driver sister that’s still a virgin & lando (her bestfriend) suggests to teach her things
part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten
When you wake up after another sleepless night, you let out a big sigh. Since you’re back in Monaco things feel different. You can’t sleep properly anymore, the cold bed without Lando and his warmth in it aren’t enough for you. Things have changed since you’re back here. Lando is busy with his trainings, Quadrant, friends he didn’t see for a while and everything else he’s normally busy with. Meaning that there’s not a lot of time left for you. Lando told you in advance, but you told him it would be fine. Now you realize that it’s not fine. 
You know that if you call Lando, he’ll let you join him with everything you want. There is even a chance that he’ll send you a plane ticket for only today and tomorrow. It wouldn’t be something new. He’s in England for now, spending time at the McLaren Technology Centre. Lando told you about what he was going to do, something in the line of multiple sponsor obligations and a bit of sim work. Him not being in Monaco causes you to only miss him more. 
There’s nothing more you want to do then to call Lando up and talk to him, but you don’t wait to claim him too much. What if he thinks you’re too clingy? With another soft sigh you start to scroll on your phone. Not that it helps, when you open your phone you’re confronted with a thousand notifications. Since the last race weekend the notifications haven’t stopped. Everyone thinks Lando and you are actually dating this time. It has caused your socials to overflow with reactions, some people hate you while others claim that you’re their favorite WAG already. On the flight back you talked about it with Lando. There was an option of denying it and hoping they would leave you alone again, but the two of you decided to just let it be for now. 
You want to text Lando. Or would that be to clingy? Fuck, you really miss him. When a notification shows up on your phone screen, you’re quick to look at it. 
Lando: call me?
Without giving it a second thought you call Lando on FaceTime.
“Hey babygirl,” Lando greets you with a soft smile. 
“Hey Lan,” you greet him back. 
Lando asks you about the last couple days, you feel boring when you confess to him that you didn’t do a lot. You don’t have contact with your friends anymore since that brunch and now that Lando is also gone, your days have been boring. You are quick to ask Lando about his last days as well. He tells you everything in full enthusiasm. 
“But I can’t wait to get back to,” Lando doubts, he wants to say to you but that’s probably weird, right? “To Monaco,” he eventually ends his sentence. 
“When are you coming back?” You are quick to ask. You want nothing more then Lando back in Monaco and hopefully back with you. “Tomorrow baby,” Lando answers you, “Maybe we can grab dinner together when I’m back?”
“That sounds nice,” you tell him, that’s exactly what you hoped for. 
“What are you going to do today?” Lando continues to asks you. 
“I don’t know yet,” you confess, “maybe sleep a bit more, I’m still pretty tired.”
“Did I awake you?” Lando questions. You’re quick to tell him no, mentioning that you don’t sleep well at the moment. When Lando asks you for the reason, you don’t know what to say at first. You stay silent for a bit. “I kinda have the same problem you know,” Lando eventually confesses, “Since I’m back in my own apartment without you I haven’t gotten a good night sleep.” 
“Me too,” you share, “It feels weird to sleep alone.”
“Tomorrow we can sleep together?” Lando suggests. You’re quick to say yes. “And maybe some other activities,” Lando says suggestively. 
“Oh?” You reply.
“I miss you babygirl,” Lando softly murmurs, “All of you.”
“All of me?” You ask surprised.
“Yes,” he confesses, “I miss your body next to mine in the bed, since we slept in the same bed together I’ve been addicted to it. And don’t forget how bad it became now that I know how your body feels. I miss the soft sounds you make for me when I feel you up, or the way you always look at me with those innocent eyes when I know for a fact you’re not that innocent. I miss the way you pussy clenches around my cock.”
“Fuck Lan,” you mutter softly, “I miss you too. Haven’t cum since the last time you made me.”
“What did you just say babygirl?” Lando asks you. He looks at you through the screen, it’s not hard to miss how red your cheeks are getting. “Didn’t you orgasm since our last time?” He continues to ask. You show him a small nod. “Why not?” Lando asks further.
At first you shrug, not wanting to tell Lando that you have never pleasured yourself, but Lando sees right through you. “Have you ever touched yourself?” He asks you. 
“No,” you confess softly. 
“Don’t know how to do it?” He asks.
“No.”
“Want my help babygirl?” 
“Please Lan,” you almost beg. Since he told you what he misses about you, your pussy started clenching. You feel all tensed up and want nothing more then Lando to help you with it. Lando shows you a grin. He doesn’t say anything yet, causing you to let out another few pleas. “I need your help,” you softly confess, “I can’t do it myself.”
“Place your phone on your night stand baby,” Lando instructs you. You do what he says. “Lay down on the bed, I want to see your body.” You lay down on the bed, still dressed in your pajamas. Now you look at yourself in the camera, you notice that you’re pajamas are a skimpy string and a shirt from Lando. 
“Spread your legs for me,” Lando instructs you. You do what he says again. “Keep following my instructions,” Lando says, you show him a nod. “I want you to call me sir,” Lando tells you. “Okay sir,” you try it out, the words leave your tongue without thinking about it. It feels good. You notice the way Lando lets out a soft groan while hearing you call him this. 
“Touch your boobs for me babygirl,” Lando continues to instruct you. You lay your hands on your boobs, slowly grabbing them through your shirt. “Knead one of them,” Lando says, “and softly pull on the nipple from the other one.” You act out his instructions, a soft moan leaves your lips when you softly pull on your nipple. “Continue and switch sometimes,” Lando states. You keep doing what he says. Kneading your boobs firmly and softly pulling on your nipples. You feel your stomach tighten from the feeling. It feels weird to do this to yourself, you’re glad Lando is here to instruct you. 
“Feels good, doesn’t it babygirl?” Lando asks you. 
“Yes,” you whimper.
Lando tuts at you. “Wrong babygirl,” he says, “Stop touching your boobs.” You wonder what he means, then you get it.
“Sorry sir,” you whimper, “Sorry. Can I please continue?”
“No.”
You remove your hands from your tits. A soft whine leaves your lips. Lando chuckles. “Slowly move your hands lower on your body,” he continues to instruct you, “but skip your cunt.” You do as he says. “Tease the inside of your thighs for me,” Lando instructs you, “Stroke up and down on them. Get closer to your cunt, slowly, but don’t touch it yet. Just tease yourself and imagine that your hands are mine.” You keep doing what Lando instructs you to do. “You must be so painfully wet right now,” Lando mutters.
“Move one of your hands back to your tits,” Lando goes on, “Tease them as well. Knead those tits, pinch or pull on your nipples. Keep teasing yourself.”
“Yes sir,” you softly moan while touching your breast again. 
“Gonna get you so wet before you even touch your cunt,” Lando tells you. “It’s a shame I’m not there with you, I would put my mouth on one of them. Slowly sucking your nipple inside my mouth, licking and sucking those beautiful tits.” 
“Fuck sir,” you moan.
“You like this, don’t you? You love every second of attention I give you. Don’t you wish I was there with you babygirl?”
“Fuck sir, yes, I miss you. Want you here with me.”
“Take off your clothes,” Lando instructs you further. You’re quick to do so. 
“Use one hand to keep teasing your breast,” Lando continues, “and with the other one you’re going to get real slow towards your cunt. But don’t you dare to touch it yet.” You let out a soft moan now you feel your breast and nipple without any clothing between it. Lando lets out a soft groan as well. He softly starts to grab his boner as well. Lando never did something like this before, but it feels so natural with you. He’s surprised how well it’s going, the words are flowing out of his mouth without thinking about it.
“Lay down your finger on your clit for me,” Lando tells you, “but only for two seconds. Then you move your hand back to your thighs.”
You let out a whine when your two seconds are up. “Sir please,” you whine. “Not yet baby,” Lando says, “tease your thighs a bit more.” You still do what he says. When you look at your phone screen you notice that Lando has turned over the camera. you’re not seeing him anymore, the camera is focused on his boner now. 
“Fuck sir,” you mutter, “you look so hard.”
“That’s what you do to me babygirl,” Lando replies.
“Can I see how you touch yourself, sir?”
Lando doesn’t reply verbally. He moves his hand to his boner and starts to caress it, letting out a groan while doing so. “How badly do you want to touch your beautiful cunt baby?” Lando asks you, “Tell me about it.”
“Fuck sir, want to touch it so bad,” you murmur.
“Ask me.”
“Can I please touch my pussy sir?” You ask him.
“Okay babygirl,” Lando tells you. “Slowly put your finger back on your clit again. Use your other hand to tease your entrance.” You move your hands again. Almost letting out a loud moan when you finally feel something on your clit again. “Make slow movements, really slow,” Lando instructs. “Give it a bit more pressure,” Lando continues. 
“Fuck,” you whine, “Thank you sir.” 
Lando almost feels his cock bursting out of his pants when you thank him. He removes his pants and boxers. You see his boner springing to his freedom. Lando is quick to put his hand around it and starts to stroke it. 
“Oh babygirl,” Lando mutters, “the things you do with me. Continue to add pressure to your clit baby and slowly move one of your fingers inside you.” 
You spread your legs a bit more then before, causing Lando to let out a soft moan while seeing your cunt better then before. He strokes his own dick. Slowly you let one of your fingers enter your pussy. “Imagine that was my cock,” Lando teases you, “How much better would that fill you up baby?” 
“A lot better sir,” you answer, “There’s nothing better then your cock.”
Lando keeps getting amazed by you. “Such a good girl for me,” he tells you, “my good little..” He doubts a bit if he’s going to say it, but eventually takes the risk. “My good little slut,” he calls you. 
“Only for you sir,” you reply softly, “only for you.”
“Fuck babygirl,” Lando groans, “What did I do to deserve you?” 
In the mean time Lando increases his own pace. He tells you to do the same. You let out a couple moans while fingering yourself. “I’m getting close,” you softly confess, “can I cum sir?” 
“Not yet baby,” Lando tells you stern, “wait a bit longer.”
You’re turning into a moaning mess. You can’t even reply to Lando anymore. It’s getting too much for you. After not having felt anything like this for a week or so, the pleasure is getting to your head. Your stomach is as tight as it can be, your pussy is already clenching around your finger and the only sound coming out of your mouth are moans. 
“Add another finger babygirl,” Lando instructs you. You’re quick to act out his instruction. “Increase the pace but don’t let yourself cum yet. Imagine it’s my cock that’s inside you right now.”
“Fuck sir,” you mutter, “I’m so painfully close.”
“Beg for it.”
“Sir please,” you start to beg. You can’t even form normal sentences, words are coming out of your mouth but you don’t even realize which ones. “So close.” “Please sir.” “Fuck sir, it feels so good.” “Need you with me sir.” “Please.”
“You deserve it babygirl. Let it go,” Lando softly tells you, “Cum for me.”
You feel your body spasm. “Fuck,” you moan while you come undone. It amazes you that you just did this for yourself. While coming down from your orgasm, you look at the phone screen on your night stand. Lando is pumping his boner with a fast pace. While looking at it you feel yourself getting horny all over again. Then he comes undone as well with a loud moan. 
“Fuck babygirl,” Lando grunts, “That was amazing.”
“You’re amazing,” you softly reply, “It’s insane what you’re doing to me while not even being here.”
“You better wait for when I’m back,” Lando states, “because I can’t wait to feel you around my dick again.”
“Tomorrow right?” You ask teasingly. 
“Tomorrow you’re mine.”
+++
The day is passing by slowly. Lando texted you this morning that he will pick you up for dinner tonight. Since then you haven’t heard anything from him. You miss him. You can’t wait for him to show up here and take you with him. Only the idea of sleeping next to Lando again tonight, makes you feel all happy and bubbly. 
You’re looking at yourself in the mirror. The dress you’re wearing is a new one. After your FaceTime call with Lando from yesterday, you went out shopping. It felt weird at first to shop alone, but you aren’t in touch with your friends anymore after the last time where they didn’t stop insulting you. It’s for the better, but shopping alone is something else to get used to. Eventually you did find a beautiful dress for tonight. Now you’re wearing it you feel a bit of doubt kicking in. You usually don’t wear stuff like this. The dress is on the shorter side, almost revealing your ass. Maybe it’s too much for only dinner? You doubt about changing, but before you can decide you already hear the door bell. Can that be Lando? 
When you open the door, you’re greeted by Lando. He is quick to pull you into a hug before getting inside your apartment. “Hey babygirl,” he greets you with a soft voice. He puts a small kiss on your cheek. When he pulls back from the hug and walks inside with you, Lando is quick to take a good look at you. 
Lando can’t take his eyes off you. Fuck, since when do you own dresses like this? Do you really expect him to have dinner with you while you’re dressed like this? He can’t focus on dinner or anything else when you look this beautiful. Fuck. The dress barely covers your ass and Lando can’t stop looking at it, certainly when you walk towards the kitchen to get him something to drink. 
“Fucking hell babygirl,” Lando sighs eventually, “since when do you own dresses like this?” 
“It’s too much isn’t it?” You ask a bit unsure. Lando hasn’t stopped looking at you since he’s inside. 
“No,” Lando quickly states, “it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Lando doubts for a couple seconds before speaking up again. “But I do think I can’t focus on anything else then you in this dress and fucking you.”
“What’s stopping you?” 
In no time Lando has himself pressed up against your body. You don’t know how Lando got you here like this, but you’re pressed up against the wall. His mouth is attacking yours. You feel his hands all over your body. As fast as he can manage Lando pulls up your dress. When he feels your string and the way it’s already dampened by your cunt, he grins. 
“So wet already baby,” Lando mutters. You grab his boner through his pant. “And so eager,” Lando continues. You play with Lando his belt, trying to get if off but you can’t reach it properly. A soft annoyed grunt leaves your lips. Lando grins and removes his belt himself, then he pulls down his pants and underwear. You see the way his boner slaps soft against his stomach. Fuck you almost forgot how big it was. 
“When we’re back from dinner I’m going to take my time with you,” Lando states, “but now I really  need to feel you on my cock.”
“Please do,” you softly reply. Lando takes his earlier words into action. He lets his dick slide into your cunt. It causes you to let out a hard moan. Lando fucks you harder then ever before, it never felt as amazing as this. When he squeezes your boob you almost yell out his name. “Fuck Lando.”
Lando grunts. He increases his pace again. When he starts to feel close to his orgasm, he almost feels ashamed for feeling his orgasm reaching this soon. Then he notices the way you look. It looks like you’re close as well. 
“Never came this fast in my life,” Lando groans when he feels his cum leave his body. You feel your orgasm hitting you as well. “I can say the same,” you joke, “but it’s not like I have a lot of experience.”
“Dinner?” Lando asks you five minutes later. “If you can behave,” you laugh. Lando grabs your hand, intertwines his fingers with yours and takes you with him towards his car. You barely can remember to grab your stuff before getting into his car. 
“It’s insane how much I missed you,” Lando confesses.
“Same,” you softly reply. 
“And I have to leave again in only two days for the next race,” Lando sighs. 
“I know,” you sigh back. 
“Join me?”
“You want me to join you again?” You ask Lando confused.
“Babygirl, I want you to join me every time I’m leaving home.”
a/n; i feel like this story is coming to an end but i have no idea how to finish it, help is welcome :)))
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Text
It’s Cool, We’re Just Friends
Pairing: Azriel x BestFriend! Reader
Summary: Azriel and Reader have been besties for years, until one night has them crossing into uncharted territory.
Warning: Steamy at the end whoops
Word Count: 2.8k
The rooftop garden at Rhysand’s townhouse was one of your favorite places in the world. It was one of the only places that you could often have to yourself when you needed some time for quiet reflection. You loved to lounge up there, especially at night when you could watch the City of Starlight come to life before your very eyes.
The only thing better than having the rooftop all to yourself was sharing it with your best friend, Azriel.
You smiled as he appeared, smoothly landing a few feet from you, his eyes sparkling, his shadows vanishing as he smiled at you.
He dragged the empty iron chair closer to you and settled in, stretching his wings out behind him, placing his hands behind his head, leaning back casually. He only sat this way when it was just the two of you, when he didn’t have to keep up appearances as the Night Court’s spymaster and shadowsinger.
“What did you do today?” he asked, looking out at the light and life of the city.
“Trained with Cassian. Hated my life,” you said, shifting in the iron chair to ease some of the soreness in your back.
Azriel laughed quietly, his eyes flicking to you as you tried to get comfortable. “Cassian always has that effect on me, too.”
You scoffed, lightly swatting at his bare bicep. “Don’t be mean. You love your brother.”
He sighed, smiling lightly at you. “Then what?”
“Mmmm,” you pondered, running through your day in your mind. “Oh! I finished my book!”
“The one about the forbidden love?” He lifted his eyebrow.
“Yes!” you squealed, excitedly. “It was so good.”
“Let me guess,” he said, his voice teasing in that way that he saved just for you. “They finally got together and lived happily ever after?”
“Yes! How did you know?” You teased.
He shook his head, smiling. “Anything else?”
“Not really,” you said, studying him. He was the only person you had ever met who actually wanted to know the answer when they asked you how your day was. “What did you do today?”
Azriel shrugged, looking out at the city again, the flickering lights below reflecting in his eyes. “Not much.”
“Are you kidding me?” You leaned forward in your seat, gawking at him, and he laughed. “I tell you everything about my boring day, and that’s your answer?”
His smile faded though as he leveled a gaze at you, his eyes sweeping over your face. “I wanted to spare you the details.”
Your blood turned cold at his serious expression. Azriel and you had been best friends for years, ever since you had fled your home in the Autumn Court. From your old home, you had gone north, nearly freezing to death in the Winter Court before the shadowsinger found you and gave you refuge in Velaris. The two of you were kindred spirits, hitting it off instantly. His brothers and his other friends had eventually told you that he immediately relaxed in your presence, even from the beginning, and that he had never seemed so comfortable with someone so quickly. You were honored to be his friend, thanked the stars every night that he had found you and saved your life.
He had been fiercely protective of you from the beginning, wanting to shield you from the realities of what his life was like outside of Velaris. You hated to admit it, but you did get squeamish thinking about what you knew Azriel sometimes had to do -- the torture, the blood, the screams. The thought of him sneaking around in dangerous territories, watching enemies, gathering intel on the in’s and out’s of their lives… it made you more worried than you could express.
But, you also hated not knowing what he was doing, if he was safe. It took months, but you eventually convinced him that you could handle at least the vaguest details of the missions he went on. You knew that he would never be willing to tell you the whole truth, knew that he didn’t want you to think of him that way -- the ruthless, unyielding shadowsinger.
Still, he would usually tell you something. So, if he was unwilling to tell you what he had been doing today… it must have been something very dangerous indeed.
“Oh,” you said finally. “Are you okay?”
His eyes softened as he gazed at you. “I am now.”
You couldn’t help but smile at the sweet Illyrian before you. “You can talk about it, you know. If you have to. I’m here for you,” you reached across the space between you, gently taking his hand.
Azriel’s gaze landed on your hand clasped with his, his expression softening to barely detectable sadness that made you heart hurt. “I know you are,” he said softly.
You studied him for a moment, eyes trailing over that beautiful face that you had memorized. He was in his fighting leathers, tattoos peeking out from under his collar, trailing down his bare arms, his strong biceps that were the size of your head, his massive wings stretched out behind him.
And his rough, scarred hand gently holding yours.
You tugged on his hand gently, so his eyes met yours again. “Want to take me for a ride?”
He smirked, an expression that had taken months of friendship to unlock. “You sure you want to?”
“You seem like you could use a distraction,” you murmured.
Azriel held your gaze for a beat longer before he stood up and scooped you into his arms, only pausing for a moment to smile at you before he shot up into the sky.
Flying with your Illyrian friends had taken a long time for you to get remotely used to, and even now it sometimes made your stomach churn. But you knew it helped clear Azriel’s mind, and you liked the time you got to spend with him in the air, just the two of you.
He held you close against him, his arms wrapped behind your back and under your knees. You rested a hand on his chest, reveling in your opportunity to study him while his eyes were trained on his surroundings. No matter how much time you spent with your friend, his beauty never ceased to amaze you.
You could feel the tension in his body slowly loosen as he flew above his city, a light breeze gracing against your skin, running through your hair through the shields that he put up around the two of you.
Dipping his head, bringing his mouth to your ear, he murmured, “Thank you.”
You curled into him, resting your head on his chest. He tightened his grip on you slightly.
Sometime later, he landed back on the roof, setting you carefully on the ground. Despite his gentle touch, you winced quietly as the muscles in your back ached from your training this morning.
Azriel’s brow furrowed, his hands freezing at your waist, his fingers flexing against your body. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” you said, smiling sweetly up at him.
He arched a brow, not believing it for a second.
“It’s nothing!”
He simply waited, knowing full well that you couldn’t keep your mouth shut for long.
“Okay, fine,” you groaned. “My back hurts. A lot.”
His eyes swam with worry, before narrowing in accusation. “You haven’t been doing the stretches you’re supposed to be doing, have you?”
“Well…” you said, your voice rising a few octaves. “Not all of them.”
He growled your name, his frustration evident. “Why not?”
You shrugged. “They didn’t seem that important at the time.”
Groaning, he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder, heading for the stairs of the townhouse. You shrieked. In all of your years together, he had never done this.
“What are you doing?” you squealed, trying and failing not to stare at your best friend’s glorious ass, which was now far too close to your face.
“I’m going to help you solve the problem that you created, because you’re my best friend, and because you clearly aren’t capable of taking care of yourself,” he said, as he stomped unceremoniously down the stairs.
Scoffing, you said, “Is this really a necessary part of it?”
“Yes,” he countered, clearly amused.
You huffed, staying silent as he walked through the mercifully empty halls to your bedroom. He opened the door with his free hand, kicking it shut behind him, before tossing you onto the bed.
“Oww,” you groaned as your back hit the mattress.
The tough guy act faded as soon as you were in pain. His eyes softened. “Sorry.”
“I thought you said you were going to help me,” you grumbled.
“I am,” he said, stalking towards you, his eyes alight. “Lay on your stomach.”
You quirked a brow at him in question, but when he just silently held your gaze, you sighed and did as you were told.
Suddenly, you were very aware of how thin the material of your dress was, how the hem landed just above your knees. You were thankful that he couldn’t see the heat in your cheeks.
The mattress shifted beneath you as he climbed onto the bed. “What are you--”
“Shh.”
Your skin prickled as he settled his calves snug against your hips, straddling you. He remained hovering over your body on his knees. You weren’t sure you were breathing.
“Okay, what are you --”
The air was sucked out of your lungs as his hands found their way to your shoulders, kneading your back with his rough fingers, digging deep into you, working out all the tension that had been building in your muscles for who knows how long.
You weren’t sure if it felt good or if it hurt… both. Definitely both.
He remained silent as he worked out the knots in your back, gradually moving lower and lower, kneading and rubbing.
The lower his hands moved, the more you had to focus not to squirm. You felt the heat of his body, and the things his hands were doing… you couldn't help but imagine what those hands could do in other places.
It’s not like you had never thought about it before. You had always been just friends, but you weren’t blind. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen. And he was always so sweet and kind and protective…
You couldn’t stop the moan that came out of your mouth.
His hands stilled for the slightest moment before he continued kneading your muscles. “You doing okay?” He asked, his voice thick. It made heat spread between your legs. The legs that he was currently holding down with his body.
“Mmhmm,” was all you could manage.
It was impossible to tell how much time had passed when he finally lifted his hands from your back. “Is that better?” he asked softly, not moving from his position over you.
You twisted around a bit, testing movements that had made you wince before. After a moment you turned to lay on your back, your body touching his in so many places as you did so. “You’re a miracle worker,” you said, your voice coming out raspy.
He continued to hover over you, his expression unreadable. He leaned closer, bracing his forearms on either side of you, his chest pressing against yours, his face only inches away.
“Az,” you breathed, unable to look away from the heat in his eyes.
His eyes sparked and he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours, twining a hand in your hair as the other gripped your waist.
Your body responded to his immediately, your hands cupping his cheek, wrapping around the back of his neck.
The kiss started out slow. Azriel was taking his time, and when you opened your mouth for him, his tongue slid in gently, exploring your mouth with such tenderness that you wanted to weep.
You gasped as he pulled away to leave a line of sensual kisses down your neck, his hands running over your stomach, your thighs.. “We should’ve been doing this the whole time,” you moaned, breathless.
He laughed into your skin, and you felt the vibration go through your whole body. You squeezed your thighs together and he groaned, nipping lightly at your shoulder.
“Yes, we should have,” he said, kissing his way up your neck. “We’re idiots,” he laughed before taking your mouth with his again, kissing you deeply.
“So stupid,” you said against his mouth and the shoulders you were clutching shook with laughter.
Azriel continued to kiss you slowly, his rough hand drifting underneath your dress, up your thighs…
“Is this okay?” he pulled his mouth back an inch, his eyes studying your face, his body attuned to your every reaction.
“Az, you’re my very favorite person. I trust you with my life. You can do whatever you want to me,” you said, your voice teasing despite how breathless he was making you.
His eyes sparked, his expression one of affection and disbelief before he smirked, his hand trailing up further. “Whatever I want, hmm?” he murmured, his eyes trained on yours.
You could only stare as his hand stilled, a fraction away from where you really wanted him.
“And what do you want, my dear friend?” he said, his voice velvety in a way you’d never heard before.
“Please,” was all you could manage.
He grinned, waiting a beat before he moved your underwear to the side, sliding a finger into your center.
The moan that you let out nearly rattled the walls.
His gaze was trained on you, watching how your body reacted to every move he made. Eventually you tugged his clothes off and he did the same to you, until you were moving together, skin to skin. He moaned your name as he slid into you, setting your body on fire.
He pressed his forehead to yours as he moved inside you, one of his hands holding yours, clutched next to your head, as he kissed your lips gently. He gazed at you when he pulled back, his every movement swimming with affection. “You’re my favorite person,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“You’re the hottest man in the world,” you said just as quietly, your fingers scratching down his back, his wings rippling behind him.
The laugh that rumbled through him made your head spin, and his hips move faster. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” he countered, smiling lovingly down at you.
“I was staring at your ass when you slung me over your shoulder,” you admitted.
“I stare at your ass whenever you leave the room,” he grinned, bending down to nip playfully at your neck, his hips not breaking his steady rhythm.
You gasped, swatting his arm. “You do not!”
“I do,” he laughed, kissing your neck.
“I thought you were a gentleman!” you said mockingly.
He looked at you pointedly, slamming his hips into yours more forcefully. The sound that escaped from your throat was filthy.
“I guess you’re learning a lot about me tonight,” he teased, his eyes sparkling.
You rolled your eyes playfully before wrapping a hand around the back of his head, twisting your fingers through his hair as you brought his mouth down to yours.
You didn’t speak again until some time later, when he was holding you close, your legs entwined, your head resting on his bare chest, his wings enveloping you in their warmth.
Idly, you drew shapes and patterns onto his skin with your fingertip. He shivered. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time,” you whispered, your eyes fixed on your finger, moving to trace over his tattoos, too afraid to look at his expression.
His arms tightened around you and he kissed the top of your head. “I’ve been in love with you since I met you.”
Your gaze flicked to him, your eyes wide. He smiled softly down at you. “You have?"
He kissed you gently in response. “How could I not be?” he whispered.
Your bottom lip trembled and he ran his thumb across it. “Don’t cry,” he murmured.
That made you cry. He laughed, his wings wrapping tighter around the two of you, shielding you from the world.
“Such a softie,” he teased, lifting your chin to press a sweet kiss to your mouth.
You grumbled adamantly, burying your face in his chest.
The two of you laid in companionable silence for a while before he broke it. “You’re going to do your stretches from now on, right?”
“If this is the treatment I get when I don’t do them? Absolutely not,” you grinned.
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aaknopf · 3 days
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Leila Mottley was regularly writing and performing poetry even before she published her novel Nightcrawling at only nineteen, in 2022; today we get an advance peek into her forthcoming first collection, woke up no light. Divided into hoods—sections on Girlhood, Neighborhood, Falsehood, and Womanhood—the poems instruct us, as here, in the art of noticing, speaking boldly, and feeling deeply.
what to do when you see a Black woman cry 
stop. hum a little / just for some sound / just for a way to fill us up it is streetlamp time / all moon-cheeked black girls are mourning / a wailing kind of undoing don’t mistake this as a tragedy / it is sacred don’t mistake this as a glorious pain / we hurt.
don’t tell me it will be alright. make me a gourmet meal and don’t expect me to do the dishes after don’t try to hug me without asking first if i slept last night / if i need some jasmine tea / and a bath in a tub deep enough to fit my grief
and if i say i want a hug don’t touch my hair while you do it / don’t twist my braids around your fingers or tell me my fro is matted in the back from banging my head on the wall of so many askings
you think we are sobbing for the men, but we are praying for the men / their favorite sweat-soaked t-shirts we are screeching for our thighs for our throats / and our teeth-chipping / for the terror and the ceremony / and the unending always of this sky
so if i let you see a tear drip / if i let you see my teeth chatter know you are witnessing a miracle know you are not entitled to my face crack / head shake / sob but i do not cry in front of just anyone so stop. hum a little / just for some sound / just to fill me up
More on this book and author: 
Learn more about woke up no light by Leila Mottley.
Browse other books by Leila Mottley and follow her on Instagram @leilamottley.
Click here to read Leila Mottley's curated list of recommended books about the San Francisco Bay Area. 
Leila Mottley will be in Brooklyn for a Poetry Night reading and conversation with Tatiana Johnson-Boria at Books Are Magic (Montague Street location) on April 24, 2024 at 7:00 PM. The event will also be livestreamed for free on Youtube. 
Visit our Tumblr to peruse poems, audio recordings, and broadsides in the Knopf poem-a-day series.
To share the poem-a-day experience with friends, pass along this link.
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auteurdelabre · 8 hours
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SO MUCH TO LOSE part 10 - dark!Joel x f!reader
rating: 18+
words: 7.5k
TW: HEAVY EMOTIONAL CHAPTER. MENTIONS OF TRAUMA. Allusions to oral sex, m receiving, allusions to f/m penetrative sex.
a/n: I told y'all this chapter's a doozy. Well it is, but maybe not for the reasons you think. . . To me its one of the most important chapters of this whole story.
series masterlist
REBLOGS, COMMENTS, ENGAGEMENT ARE WHAT KEEP US FIC WRITERS GOING. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT IF YOU ENJOYED THIS.
-----------------------------
SO MUCH TO LOSE CHAPTER 10
You visit Maria the following week with a plate of cookies in hand. She’s the one to answer the door and you are relieved when you see that she is showered and dressed. Things must be improving. She brings you into a tentative hug when you arrive, urging you inside out of the fresh dusting of snow.
“Tommy has Douglas out for a little walk. I’ll make you a coffee.”
“I’m fine,” you insist. “Just came to drop off some baking. I’m heading to Ellie’s later this week and needed to get some practice in. I haven’t done much baking lately and wanted to make sure I wasn’t rusty.”
You join her on the couch, watching as she wraps her hands tightly around her coffee mug. She takes tentative sips between munches of cookie. At the first bite she literally moans.
“This is so good.”
“Thanks. They were Charlotte’s favorite.”
Maria licks the crumbs from her lips before leaning back on the sofa. She’s always been slender and she looks almost as she did back before she gave birth, except for the small pouch at her lower belly. You think she looks better with it.
“Was Charlotte your daughter?”
“Oh no. I never had kids.”
“We’re you ever married?”
“Me?” you almost laugh. “No.”
“Oh,” Maria blinks and her mouth tugs to the side. “I thought you might be. You have a nurturing quality about you.”
 “I think you give me too much credit.”
Maria grins, taking another bite of cookie. The two of you chat amiably a bit about the changing weather, of the way the inhabitants of Jackson City get along so well. Of how she feels the pressure of being Jacksons’ ‘First Lady’. Of how the bandits that fuck with the dam that supports the city stresses her daily.
“It’s a fucking nightmare some days,” she cites with a grumble. “Thank goodness for Tommy.”
“He’s a good man,” you tell her.
“He is,” she smiles indulgently before shooting you a lingering look. “What do you think about Joel?”
“How do you mean?”
“You do patrols with him, right?” 
“Can’t say I was always his biggest fan,” she says, taking another sip from her mug. “But he’s grown on me.”
“Yeah.”
You hold in the scoff that’s already begun in your throat.
“My friend Jennifer seems to think he’s pretty wonderful,” you offer instead. “She was delighted to help him repair the window last week.”
“She the blonde one? Used to do textiles?” Maria knows everyone thanks to her position.
“Yeah.”
“Not his type,” Maria insists with a shy grin. “She’d eat him alive.”
Jennifer doesn’t seem like she would eat anyone alive.
“Joel is all harsh edges,” she explains when she sees your confusion. “He needs someone soft to balance him out. That Jennifer girl is hard.”
You don’t think that you would consider Jennifer hard and you don’t fight Maria on it because the conversation quickly turns to Jackson’s continued increase of population, the place swelling with new life.
“Plenty of single men,” Maria says with a quirked brow in your direction. You give a soft laugh.
“Not really interested.”
“Single women too.”
“No no,” you laugh again, cheeks pinking. “I like men, I just . . . I don’t think I’m the partnering type.”
You think of Luke and his sweet features and his muscled forearms. For him you could perhaps be the partnering type. Perhaps. The thought of romance appeals to you; it just doesn’t seem realistic at times. A crush feels fun and safe.
“You must have had your share of dates,” Maria insists. You can see her relaxing and you think she must be enjoying what she views as girl time. You think she must not have had much of it lately.
“Normal crushes and stuff,” you shrug. “But I was a late bloomer and then the outbreak started when I was a teenager so I didn’t have a chance for a lot of firsts back then.”
“Sex,” Maria nods.
“Uh yeah… that…” you say, trying to appear nonchalant. “And uh, kissing, dating, all that stuff.”
“But you did eventually,” Maria cites smiling.
“Sex? Oh yes,” you nod. You weren’t a monk or anything in your time before Jackson City.
“What was your first time like?” Maria settles back against a cushion, nibbling at her cookie looking at you eagerly. “I remember mine was all fumbling in the backseat of his truck before curfew.”
You laugh and think Maria must be starved for company to be intrigued by your limited romantic experience.
“Uh… fast,” you say with a laugh before allowing yourself to be transported back to that time. “He worked at one of the bakeries that I assisted in. I remember he had the longest eyelashes I’d ever seen on a man. They were so blond you could only see them if he turned at a certain angle. He made me laugh. One night he invited me back to his apartment and… that was that.”
“How old were you?”
“Uh, twenty two, twenty three?”
“And you didn’t date after?”
“Nah, my family left that QZ kinda in a hurry.”
You aren’t expecting your voice to hitch on that last sentence, but it does.  Maria grows somber, her dark eyes expressive.
“Can I ask why you left?”
You blink back the sheen of tears starting and gaze around the room, trying to land on something that will steel you. You find it in the small carving of a horse on the bookshelf nearby. You tell your story to that delicately made creature instead.
“We moved east through the QZ’s for about ten or eleven years. Stayed in a few of them before we’d pick up and keep moving to the next one. Hard to make connections and date with all that. I didn’t trust that I’d have the time.”
Maria looks like she wants to ask more when the door is opened and Tommy’s cheerful voice rings out announcing he and Douglas are home and ready for lunch.
“We have company!” Maria says cheerfully.
Tommy turns the corner to see you and he greets you. He wears Douglas strapped to him with fabric, snuggled under his large jacket. Jackson is sleeping soundly and barely notices when Tommy unwraps and hands him off to his mother.
Douglas squirms, his tiny head burrowing into Maria’s neck. She smiles and for the first time you’ve known her it looks sincere. There is a lightness in the house you realize, something that had been missing before.
“He enjoyed being out in the fresh air,” Tommy announces. “Everyone who saw him wanted to kiss him.”
“Tommy!” Maria looks horrified.
“But I didn’t let ‘em,” Tommy finishes, pressing a gentle kiss to his wife’s worried brow. “I’m gonna make some soup. You two want a bowl?”
“I’m alright,” you say. “I just brought by dessert. I’m actually heading over to Ellie’s to do some baking.”
“Joel’s letting you use his place to bake?”
You still, brows raised. “Uh… yeah. Is that… should I not be?”
“No, I’m just surprised,” Tommy admits after a pause. “I don’t think he’s ever let anyone in that house aside from me and Maria. Think the only reason he and Ellie don’t kill each other is ‘cuz she’s in the garage.”
“Oh.”
You don’t know what else to offer besides that.
Tommy nods and for a moment you see something in his expression, a pinched look when Maria looks away from him.  You realize that Tommy looks harried, running a hand through his glossy curls.
“What’s up?”
“Nothin’,” Tommy replies too quickly.
You see the panic in his eyes as his gaze darts from his wife back to you. You understand immediately. Maria is doing well, if there’s something stressful in Jackson City he doesn’t want to bother her with it.
“Thanks for the tea Maria, but I better head out,” you inform them both.
Maria wraps you into a side hug, one arm around your shoulders, the other holding her son. You run your knuckles down his spine gently.
“Come back soon,” she whispers.
“I promise.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Tommy says, feigning manners. The two of you walk to the front door around the corner. As you toe on your boots you look up at him expectantly.
“Well?”
Tommy looks over his shoulder anxiously before dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper only you can hear.
“Rumor is Raiders were spotted by A Patrol this week,” Tommy says with a sigh. “Up by the traps.”
“Fuck,” you breathe. “Really?”
“Not positive. A Patrol isn’t always the most reliable. They spook easy and are overly cautious. But I’d rather that than the alternative.”
“Of course.”
“Just make sure you and Joel are extra cautious,” Tommy says. “I know you’re both responsible but, you know…. Just be extra responsible.”
You nod, feeling your heart thrumming in your chest as you make your way to Rancher Street.
///
You didn't really want to go to Joel's house today. But Ellie had found you last night heading home from The Tipsy Bison and had guilted you into it when she told you that Joel had brought back all the supplies needed. 
You'd tried to sway her into baking at your place but only the burners on your oven work. You'd never really considered getting the main oven fixed, since you take most of your meals in the dining hall.
But in moments like this, you heavily regret that choice. 
You feel like even your footsteps sound timid as they make their way up the wood steps. 
Ellie is at the door, pulling it open before you can even knock. She must have been looking for you at the window, counting down the seconds until your arrival. The thought warms you. She gives you a broad smile that lights up her face.
"I got everything set up!"
She takes off down into the kitchen and you venture into the Miller home tentatively, still anxious about what happened last time.  
A sound to your right draws your attention and you take in the tall form of Joel coming into the room. He's dressed in jeans and a sweater, obviously feeling the chill despite the cheery fire that roars behind him. 
"Mornin'," he greets. 
"Morning." You lick your lips nervously. "Thanks for letting me bake with Ellie."
"'Course. She's been looking forward to it for weeks. Can't stop talkin' about it.'
Joel gives you a whisper of a smile but the thing that really throws you about this interaction is that he looks almost nervous. You've never seen Joel look nervous. 
He'd been so stiff after last patrol, not even saying goodbye to the group after you'd all disembarked off the horses. 
It had been embarrassing. Him storming off like you'd all done something wrong. Only Jennifer seemed to still be under Joel's spell citing that watching him hammer the window would fuel her fantasies for months to come.
You're still really irritated with him but it's lessened slightly because his greeting isn’t hostile. You could almost relax if it weren’t for the intense way he’s staring at you.  
You hear your name being called by Ellie in the next room so you toe off your shoes and head into the kitchen. She's got an apron on, borrowed from the kitchen or Joel because it's far too big for her small frame. 
"Alright," you give her a warm smile as you enter. "You got everything?"
"Yep."
You place the bag you brought on the counter. You remove your own apron, baby blue with ruffles on the end. A recent gift from Jennifer who told you “since you’re a real chef you need your own apron”. You tie it as you speak to Ellie.  
"So what I like to do is set up all my supplies on the counter just to double check I have everything. Nothing worse than being halfway through a recipe and finding out you you’re missing ingredients."
The sentence isn't even out of your mouth before Ellie’s opened up her cupboards and ice box and begun to take everything out. Flour, eggs, bowls, milk and more, all the items you gave Joel on the list. She places them on the counter before looking at you like a proud student. 
"You'll need measuring spoons."
The two of you turn at the same time to see Joel standing by the entrance to the kitchen, lingering. His hands are in his jean pockets, standing like a chastised student outside the classroom.
"I brought some," you inform him, trying to hold in your irritation. You pull them from your bag, putting them next to the eggs. 
You feel Joel's eyes on your back and you're sure he's silently judging you, eager to point out what you're doing wrong. You stiffen under the perceived scrutiny. Ellie must sense the change in the room because she whips around to shoot him a jeering look. 
"Joel you don't need to supervise," Ellie says rolling her eyes. "We won't break the damn stove." 
Joel looks at his feet mumbling something about needing to do stuff upstairs anyway before he's making his way out of the kitchen. 
You go back to your lesson with Ellie who turns out to be a very focused student. 
She asks smart questions, measures everything perfectly and takes her time. It's only when you put her in charge of cracking three eggs into the bowl that she gets frustrated. 
"Fuck, it cracked wrong. Shell got in."
Her fingers pinch into the egg bowl, trying to grasp the fallen eggshell. Of course the viscous nature of the raw egg makes it impossible and it’s not long before she pushes at the bowl angrily, her face is set into a deep frown.
“S’fucking bullshit.”
"Happens all the time," you tell her kindly. "Don't stress about it. I’ll show you a secret my mom taught me and my sister to get ‘em out."
Ellie watches as you take the empty shell half still in her hand. Her brows knit in confusion as you lower it into the bowl, using it as a scoop. Unlike with her fingers, the egg shell piece floats easily into the makeshift scoop. You pull the shell from the bowl, tossing the mess into the garbage.
“Holy shit that actually worked.” Ellie smiles at this and it transforms her pale pinched features into that of a warm, approachable teenager. 
You smile, feeling strangely proud. You’ve never baked with anyone else before, aside from the kitchen. But that was following the same boring recipes given by the head chef. You were usually boiling rice, cutting onions or apples. Baking is a different beast, a calmer, more relaxing one.  
After that hiccup Ellie is more patient with herself. She's keen to learn about baking but she's very eager to talk to you about you. When you pop the formed pastries into the oven and set the timer she decides that now is the time to chat. 
"What kind of music did you used to listen to before?"
Memories of Joel’s warning float in your mind. The reminder not to tell her too much. To make her long for a life that he can’t give her.
"Enough about me,” you deflect. “I want to know about you."
At this Ellie balks slightly, the smile wavering just a fraction before the mask is replaced and she nods. Her mixing increases but now her eyes are on the batter.
"Whadda you wanna know?"
"What was your life like before Jackson?"
"I was in the QZ back in Boston,” she says slowly, as if she's trying to make sure she doesn't give too much away. "Hated it."
"Parents?"
"Never met 'em."
"What brought you to Jackson City?"
"Joel."
She doesn't offer you more or less than that. You understand it, you don't push it.
"How'd you end up here?" She asks, mixing the dry ingredients.  
You realize the stupidity of you asking her those questions. How easily you opened them to be doubled back on yourself. 
"You asked me what kind of music I listened to before?" You smile, hoping that this will distract her. "I remember I saw Chicago about a billion times," you laugh. "I was obsessed. I listened to the soundtrack over and over."
"Chicago," Ellie says slowly as if trying to recall before a light seems to go on. "Oh, I've heard of Chicago. Joel likes ‘em."
Them?
It takes you a minute to understand what she's talking about. You finally answer giggling. 
"Chicago the musical, not the band. The musical had great songs. And dancing." 
"Do you dance?"
"Not very well." 
Your dual laughter combines and you can't help but enjoy the sound. Ellie really does make you laugh. She reminds you of how life was before. When everything seemed new. 
You can tell Ellie wants to know everything about your life before the outbreak. And you want to indulge her but Joel's words rub their imprint on your the inside of your skull.
"Hey I promised your D- Joel that I wouldn't keep talking about this stuff with you," you explain quietly. "He's worried it makes you want stuff you can't have."
"Jesus," Ellie says rolling her eyes. “Overprotective much?” 
"No he's right," you insist truthfully. "I mean, I get where he's coming from. He doesn't wanna keep disappointing you."
"Joel could never disappoint me."
The timer goes off and you peer into the oven. The pastries are a golden brown. You smile before taking them out with the oven mitt. Ellie closes her eyes, inhaling.
"They smell so good."
"Just wait until you put icing on them," you encourage with a grin. "Delicious." 
The two of you get to work making the icing while the pastries cool. 
"It's gonna snow," Ellie comments out of nowhere as she peers out the window, mixing idly. 
"Hate to break it to you, El, it's already snowing."
Ellie gives you a smirk along with her side eye. You don't know if it's from your sarcastic comment or the fact that you called her El. 
"I mean I think it’s gonna snow a lot." She explains. "I heard some of the other kids talking about it at school."
"Huh," you offer noncommittal as you look at the consistency of the icing. "Wonder how they can tell."
"They said they could smell it," Ellie says with a grin, pushing up the sleeve of her shirt so that it doesn't drip into the icing bowl. "They said tha-"
You can't hear anything she's saying after that. All you can focus on is her now bared arm and the ugly bite mark. Blood rushes in your ears and you cry out before giving a blood curdling shriek. 
“No!”
Ellie jumps, startled at your sudden screams. She throws herself back against the wall, eyes wide and glancing around as if she expects hordes of infected to come streaming in. 
"What? What is it?"
You know she's never seen you be loud, never seen you scream and the sight must terrify her. 
But all you can focus on is the clear outline of bite marks on her forearm visible after she rolled up her sleeves. The clear sign of an infected’s mark. She’s going to turn into a clicker before your eyes. She’s going to become soulless and inhuman and you need to go. You need to get somewhere safe.
Joel. He’ll be so devastated.
You can hear the heavy footsteps of Joel approaching the kitchen but all you can think of is escaping and getting yourself safe. You have to warn the town. You run towards the front door, your socks slipping over the smooth floor. 
You're still screaming incoherently, your voice cracking as you lunge for the doorknob, tears in your eyes. Your hand closes around the brass knob just as two muscled arms go around your waist, pulling you back harshly. A hand covers your mouth and a deep voice is at your ear. 
"Quit," he repeats, shaking you slightly in his arms. "Stop screamin'."
There's an increasingly paranoid thought that believes this was all a trap. A way for Joel to get his daughter fed. You feel it, Joel's arms wrapped around your entire body, pinning your arms to your sides. His body is warm and solid behind you, terrifying in its strength. It takes you to a time you've tried to forget. 
"Get the fuck off of me!" You shriek against his palm, trying to wriggle out of his grip but he holds firm. You're screaming expletives, trying to kick out. You shake his hand off your mouth. "She's bit, Joel! I saw it!"
Ellie hasn't moved from where she stands cowering in the corner of the kitchen. But you can only imagine how soon it will be before she turns. You can't be here for that. You can’t watch that sweet girl turn into one of them.
"I know," Joel rumbles against your temple, hands still gripping you tightly. 
"You know," you repeat and now a dread begins in your feet and floods the rest of you. 
Joel knows she is bit. Joel welcomed you into his home knowing she was bit. 
You are going to die. 
"Let me go!"
High on fearful adrenaline you give a frantic kick backwards, elbowing into Joel's abdomen at the same time you thrust the ball of your foot onto his socked toes. Joel gives a strangled grunt and his arms loosen in pain momentarily allowing you a chance to break free from him. 
You tug open the door and speed out without your boots. You feel the snow on the porch under your feet, freezing your toes immediately. You throw yourself down the porch stairs, feet slapping the wood as you hold back sobs. The street is deserted; the houses all empty as they usually are on bright Saturday afternoons. You go to cry out for someone, anyone, when Joel's arm bands around your waist.
You give a devastated howl of defeat before Joel is dragging your struggling frame back into the house, telling you to calm down. 
Ellie is by the sink, her eyes on the ground. 
But you still struggle, trying to get away from this house. Joel gives a frustrated growl before he pushes you up against the wall, pinning you there with his hips. His hands hold your wrists on either side of your head, pressing them into the wall. 
"Stop fuckin' strugglin'," Joel seethes when you jerk against him, his chest pressing you so tightly to the wall you can't breathe. 
"Please let me go," you beg brokenly as you continue to struggle in his arms. "Please I just-“
"She's immune," he rasps in your ear. "She's fucking immune! Stop!"
Immune. Immune. 
"What?" You stop your screaming just long enough to twist your head to face him. "Immune? That's not possible." 
But you’ve stopped struggling as hard.
You take a closer look at Ellie’s arm from where you stand, noticing that it doesn’t look particularly fresh. In fact it looks scarred. And yet something in you is still terrified. So terrified that you yelp when you feel Joel's wide hands go to either side of your face, forcing your face up and eyes to his. 
"Everything is okay," Joel tells you in a husky rasp. "You're safe, I promise. I've got you. You're safe." 
His eyes are locked with yours as he says this and you don't know how those words work their way into your body, but they do. The same way they wind around you as you allow yourself to get lost on patrols with your mouth on him. That sense that someone else is in charge, someone else is protecting you.
You're safe.
Your entire frame goes boneless in his arms and when he finally releases your face your head drops to your chest. He continues to press you gently against the wall with one heavy hand holding you there.
"What if it's slow acting or -" you whisper quietly, "or what if you can still pass it on with saliva or-"
"The dogs don't detect it," Joel tells you, his hold on you not lessening. "Ellie and I've shared drinks plenty a' times. She's immune."
You stare at the girl at the table, her entire countenance shifted. You can see the devastation, the fear and anger floods out of you immediately, like a deep sigh. You sag in Joel's arms, feeling as he slowly loosens you. 
"She's had it for months," Joel tells you, no longer pinning you to the wall. 
"Months?" 
You're still stunned by the developments but it doesn't stop your eyes from traveling over to Ellie. You see now that tears are slipping off the end of her nose as she silently cries. She’s pulled her sleeve back down, covering the scar.
Your heart immediately breaks because it's you who did this to her. This girl who trusts so few. You treated her like she was a monster. 
"Ellie I'm sorry, I just..." You trail off, your heart still beating wildly. 
But Ellie has tears in her eyes, her neck blotchy. She's raced to the garage, slamming the door after her. You flinch at the sound of it. 
Then it’s just you and Joel in the quiet kitchen.
"How long have you known?"
"Since I met her," Joel explains quietly. "Was bringing her to the fireflies with a friend in exchange for a battery. Rumor was there was a cure."
"Guess not if you're both here," you say absently, missing the pain in his dark eyes when you say it. 
"Not a lot of people know about it. We'd like to keep it that way."
You nod, your mind whirring. You realize you've never seen Ellie in anything but long sleeves. Never seen her wearing bracelets or anything that would draw her attention to her arms. She’s been hiding in plain sight. You think of the friendships she hasn’t made, the way she keeps to herself, the hostile way she is with most and it all clicks into place.
"We were thinking of gettin' her a tattoo to cover it up,” Joel continues. “Haven't found anyone to do it yet." 
You nod again, eyes falling on the pastries now lying squashed on the floor, the warm berries oozing out onto the wood.
“I’ll take care of this stuff,” Joel mutters, dropping to his knees and starting to pick up the supplies you brought. You think of how excited Ellie had been to recreate the pop tarts, how devastated she’ll be when she realizes they’re all ruined.
"I- I think I should go talk to Ellie."
"She doesn't wanna talk. Trust me."
"Just lemme try."
Joel looks as if he's about to protest but you're already walking quickly until you've reached the door to the garage. You knock gently.
"Ellie? It's me. Please don't be upset ... I was just startled."
There's a pause, then a sniffle that makes your heart lurch. 
"Can we talk? Please, Ellie?" 
You hear shuffling and then finally the door to the garage is opened a crack and you see Ellie peering through. Her eyes are swollen and red, the end of her nose pink. She glares at you through the small slit in the door. 
"Fuck off."
"I just want to explain. Just let me explain and then I promise I'll leave."
She doesn't move, doesn't attempt to close or open the door. She just stands there like some sentry. 
“Five minutes. That’s all I need.”
"You think I'm a freak."
"I don't," you insist, palm on the door as if you could transfer your emotions by osmosis to her. "Ellie I was having fun right before all this. I really was. Can we talk? Please? I want to explain properly." 
Ellie’s glossy eyes scan your body and with a labored sigh she steps back, opening the door and allowing you entrance. 
"Come in."
You follow her into the warm space, watching as she drops onto her made bed. Ellie hugs her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as you look at her. Ellie's eyes drag from the floor up to your face and you see her chin trembling as she holds in tears. 
“Can I sit?” you ask motioning to beside her on the bed. She nods, shuffling to give you room to perch there.
“I know you’re not gonna come back after this,” Ellie says, eyes wide with a quiet pleading as you look over at her.
“Of course I am.”
“No you’re not,” Ellie says shaking her head and rubbing angrily at her eyes. “You’ve seen my arm. You think I’m a fucking freak.”
"Ellie I swear I don't think you're a freak," you emphasize as you shuffle on the edge of her bed. "I was just... That bite took me back to a really scary time."
"Yeah," Ellie says with her chin balanced on her kneecap. "No one wants to think about... All that stuff." 
You see the desolation there in her eyes. She's hurt and even though you didn't mean to do it you did. You feel responsible for her sadness. Your eyes go to her closed door, wanting to make sure you have privacy before you turn back to her.
"Ellie, can I share some stuff with you?"
"Yeah.”
"It's not happy stuff," you tell her. 
"Figured." Ellie shrugs again like it doesn't matter. Like she's seen it all. Maybe she has, but you doubt it. She doesn’t make eye contact with you.
“It’s just. . . I’ve never told anyone this stuff before. Ever.”
Ellie’s eyes go to your face now. She can see how serious you are and she straightens slightly. She goes from being hunched and holding her legs to sitting cross legged across from you on the bed.
"Okay..." You take a sharp inhale. “So, I was about your age when Outbreak Day happened. I was with my Dad and my sister. My mom was visiting my Aunt in Wyoming-“
“How come?”
“Ellie you gotta let me get this all out quick okay?” you say gently. “No interruptions.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” you breathe deeply again. “She was visiting my aunt because my aunt was getting a divorce and my mom wanted to support her. Anyway, about ten years ago my dad and my little sister and I were travelling between QZ’s. We were looking for my Mom because my Dad was convinced she was still alive and she’d be out in this direction.”
You swallow; hating talking about this but knowing that Ellie deserves this truth. So far she looks intrigued, her eyes wide.
“So one night we were exhausted. We’d been travelling for days and we were low on food and water. We see this old cabin and it looks like it’s abandoned. We figure it’s a good spot to hunker down and get some energy before we keep going.” You exhale a shuddering breath.
“Except it wasn’t abandoned. It was a trap set up by this group of Raiders. I called them The Group. They killed my dad and they were gonna kill me and my sister when one of the guys had the bright idea that they could use us as bait.”
"Bait?"
 Ellie seems to remember she’s not supposed to say anything because she ducks her head slightly.
"Yeah. they made us go into new places first," you explain detached, as if you’re talking about another woman in another life. "So if there was anything dangerous it would get us in enough time to give The Group a chance to escape.”
Ellie is staring at you wide-eyed, all her teenage ambivalence lost as you detail the most terrifying years of your life. You omit lots of the more gruesome details and you definitely don’t tell her about Rock River.  
"Once they hung me from a tree," you tell her, trying not to sound emotional. It's not hard. Years of hiding how that part of your life affects you makes you good at it. "They tied me to a rope and hung me on a branch to attract clickers."
"Jesus."
"Yeah," you nod. "It worked really well. There was a big group and they piled underneath me, trying to grab at me, their mouths all black and their teeth gnashing and...” you stop yourself when you see Ellie’s eyes widening. “Anyway, The Group got ‘em all and managed to get some good supplies in the town because of it. I just... It just left me kind of..."
You wince when you realize you’ve trailed off, your focus blurred.
"The point is that when I saw your arm it just all came flooding back and I reacted out of instinct. Not because I think you're a freak. I could never think that about you.”
Ellie is quiet, digesting all that you've told her. You think you hear a creaking outside her door, but you're not sure. Your attention is drawn back to the girl who’s eyes hold such a myriad of emotions; pain, empathy, fear, anger.
"How did you end up here?" 
You think about not telling her. But it feels so good to be getting some of this information out, like you’re coughing up a thick black piece of flesh that’s been festering in your lungs for years, making it so you can now finally breathe.
"One guy, Chiyo, he joined up with our group a few years after I was taken. He owned a shooting range before everything.... You know…. Well, he'd broken his ankle in a recent raid and couldn’t really move much. If we hadn't come upon him when we did he probably would have been killed by another group of raiders. But as it was he had this giant stash of weapons and The Groups ranks were thinning so..."
You trail off, thinking of how you'd come upon him first when you and The Group got to town. How the leader you thought of as Red due to his hair (you never learned their real names), shoved you brutally by the shoulder.
Always the bait.
But after what had happened only the week before you didn’t care anymore. Red pushed you and you entered willingly, your feet not even dragging as you walked. It was either be shot by one of The Group attempting to escape, or see what resided inside the shop with the boarded up windows.
Chiyo’s gun was trained on you the second you walked in. The way you held your hands at your eye level when he told you he was going to shoot.
“I’m gonna blow your head clean off if you take another step.”
And suddenly you’d decided that you were done. You were so tired. And at least this way it would be quick and it would be away from The Group. And so you’d taken another step towards Chiyo, hands still raised.
You can still recall the furrowing of his thick brows and the lowering of his weapon as he stared at you.
"You want to die?"
You hadn't answered him but that had been answer enough for Chiyo. He'd hobbled over to you, dragging his lame leg, dark eyes fixed on your face. 
"I'm not gonna hurt you."
And when he'd said it, you'd believed him.
You remember the way you'd convinced the rest of The Group they needed someone like him. A crack shot, you told them. You'd had no idea of knowing if it was true. But there had been warmth in Chiyo's eyes that was missing from the rest of The Groups. Something that you clinged to in the coming months.
"Thankfully he was a really good shot,” you explain. “He joined up and we stripped his shop of his guns and eventually his ankle healed thanks to the medic in The Group and he was suddenly part of the team.”
“Was he nice to you?”
“Yeah. He was really kind. Whenever they used me as bait he insisted on going with. He said it was so we could save me for really bad missions, but I knew it was to protect me. They let him get away with it because he was such a good shot, I think.  Everyone liked him. When the rest of The Group was asleep we'd talk by the fire. Chiyo was afraid of horses," you tell Ellie with a small smile. “Was about the only thing he was afraid of.”
You don't tell her everything. You don't tell of the tender way he fucked you in the wee hours of the morning before The Group rose most mornings. How he whispered that he missed his dead wife and would never dishonor her memory by kissing you. But you hadn’t minded, you understood and you’d both been gentle with each other.
You’d enjoyed getting lost in the sensation of him. Of his cock in your mouth, of your cunt stuffed full of him. The rhythmic sensation of sex that took you out of your body and away from your every day horrors.
You remember how he would hold you, tears sliding onto your collar as he spilled himself onto your belly whimpering his dead wife’s name. How he would thank you over and over with your hand at the base of his skull, mouth against his shoulder while you quietly sobbed your own gratitude.
"After a few months he told me he was escaping. He'd heard about Jackson City and that's where he was headed. He wanted to bring me to see if we could find my Mom."
"Holy shit,” Ellie breathes. “Where is he now?"
"He didn't make it," you tell her tightly.
And now the shield is back in your voice and eyes and she must sense it. Ellie doesn’t press this, seems to understand that there is more there. With a teenagers’ sensibilities and a teenager’s romanticism she asks you her next question.
"Were you in love with him?"
Chiyo is a faint memory, a watercolor blur if you think about him in too much detail. When you try to recall things like the scar over his left eyebrow or the dragon tattoo on his inner thigh. But these are just pieces of him. They aren't him. 
When you think of Chiyo there is a warmth. But it's the warmth that comes from having a benevolent savior. One who never told you that you were in his debt. Yes, you cared for him. Of course you did. He was gentle and he was kind and his heart was soft.
"No," you say firmly. "He was nice though and I cared about him. Probably as close to love as I'll ever get." 
You and Ellie are quiet for a long time.
“I tried saving a bit boy once,�� she finally offers. “His name was Sam. Tried rubbing my blood on him. Thought it would save him. It didn’t. He turned and his brother had to kill him before he killed himself.”
You don’t allow yourself to cry. You know that isn’t what Ellie needs right now.
“I’m the reason so many people are dead,” Ellie explains when you say nothing in return. “My Mom died having me. Riley… Tess… Sam…Henry... Ellie’s voice is doing that same detached thing yours does. “Sometimes I honestly think it would be better if I was never born.”
You can’t help the way your arms leap out in front of you to gather the girl into your arms. She tries to fight you on it, flinching from the contact before your unrelenting arms pull her into a tight squeeze, tugging her into your lap. Angry tears slip down her red cheeks, her cries breaking free as you wrestle her into a bear hug.
“I’m so glad you exist, Ellie.”
And then all the fight is gone from her body and she’s sobbing quietly into your shoulder, her tiny frame shaking. You hold her against you, wanting your adoration and affection to move through your body into hers so she knows how much she’s wanted.
“The world would be so much worse without you in it,” you assure her honestly. “You’re special, Ellie. And not because you’re immune. Because you’re smart and brave and funny and you make people like me feel like we’re worth something.”
Her arms wrap around your neck, face in your shoulder and she allows you to continue holding her, rocking her gently in your lap as if she were your own teenage daughter.
“And yes you’re stubborn and you can be annoying,” you add, trying to lighten the mood. “But there’s no one I like talking to as much as I like talking to you. You made me look forward to breakfasts in the dining hall because it meant I got to speak to you.”
“You’re just saying that,” she sniffles, arms loosely circling your neck.
“You don’t like liars, right?” You remind her. “Well I’m not lying. Plus, I know Joel loves you and he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that loves many people so you must be pretty great.”
Ellie gives a shallow huff of amusement in your shoulder.
“And I know Maria and Tommy adore you just as much if not more than I do. And if you opened up a little more with the kids around here I know they’d love you just as much as we do because you’re a wonderful person. The world would be so much worse without your light, Ellie. You bring light to the darkness.”
You continue rocking her for several moments, waiting until her sobs turn into hiccups and then gentle swallows. Finally she pulls back from you, almost embarrassed at the emotional display. She shuffles back onto the bed, picking at the loose string hanging from her pillow.
“I think I’m cursed.”
“Hey now that’s not true,” you insist. “I’m here aren’t I? How is that a curse? If anything it’s a blessing.”
She gives you a weak smile that you return.
“C’mon, let’s go and finish the pop tarts.”
“We’ll have to start all over again,” Ellie almost whines.
“Then I guess I’ll be staying here a little longer.”
Ellie wipes at her blotchy face, running her hands down her cheeks before nodding and standing abruptly.  You two make it back into the kitchen, surprised to see Joel standing there. His broad shoulders ripple as he works on something in front of him, his back to you.
Ellie sails over to him, her eyes wide when she sees what he’s done. “Wait are those the pop tarts?”
“Yep.”
“I thought they were ruined.”
“Yours were,” Joel shrugs, spreading icing onto one of the homemade pop tarts. “Mine went okay.”
You feel as if you’ve been physically pushed.
Joel baked?
Ellie snags one of the still warm pastries from the plate as Joel starts running the cloth over the counter and wiping the crumbs into the sink. You look at the joy on Ellie’s face as she takes a bite.
“Holy shit, Joel, these are so fucking good.”
“Language,” Joel admonishes over his shoulder, though there’s nothing harsh in it. He turns around, hip resting against the counter.
“I’m gonna have you do all my baking,” Ellie continues as if she hasn’t heard him.  “I’ll just be your taste tester.”
You want to grin at this but all you can do is stare at Joel and the soft way he’s smiling down at Ellie. This open look of adoration you so rarely see. Like there’s this secret Joel inside the mean Joel shell that the privileged few witness.
Joel could never disappoint me.
Joel seems to feel your eyes on him because he blinks over at you, dark eyes darting around your face. His expression is unreadable, but there’s nothing cruel or cold in it. He’s just looking at you, almost as if he’s trying to figure you out as well.  
“Well looks like we’re all set here so I should go,” you start awkwardly, suddenly feeling strangely light headed. Joel steps towards you, brows rising.
“You could stay for a dr-“ Joel begins, but you’ve already made your way to the front door, pulling on your boots and jacket.
Your hands are trembling for some reason and you think it must be all this emotional turmoil you’ve shared with Ellie. It has you feeling vulnerable and exposed and you want to escape home to the safety of your bed, away from soulful brown eyes and soft smiles.
“Ellie you wanna grab breakfast before patrols?”  you ask, studiously ignoring Joel who stands next to her looking at you. You don’t want her to think you’re rushing off and forgetting about her.
“Sure,” Ellie says brightly before motioning to the plate of pastries. “You want any of these to go?”
“Nah, you enjoy them,” you insist with a flash of a smile. “You worked hard.”
You don’t look backwards as you rush out the door of their home and down the sidewalk of Rancher Street, convinced you can feel Joel’s dark gaze on you the entire way.
-----------------------------
secondary a/n: The other parts I wanted to include in this chapter were gonna bloat this installment into over 10k and I wasn't even finished so I had to break it up!
CHAPTER 11 SPOILERS BELOW THE JOEL
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in chapter eleven there be smut.
TAGLIST:
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@joeldjarin
@elegantduckturtle
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@orcasoul
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yuri-is-online · 2 days
Note
ruggie to (unknowingly) his kid: imma flirt with your mom and potentially erase your existence, sorry not sorry
*cracks knuckles* nothing but the best for my favorite hyena.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here.
The entire Yutu situation gives Leona a headache.  He sees the portal, takes a sniff, rolls his eyes, and goes looking for the only hyena he (or to be more accurate Yuu) knows.  He doesn't outright say “congratulations you're a dad” because he doesn't know if that would be too much to believe but Ruggie takes the whole "time traveler related to Yuu" idea fairly well.  I mean, Yuu’s from another world and Ruggie was pretty convinced that was impossible until .  What bothers him is Leona's saying Yutu is a beastman.  That can only really mean one thing, but Ruggie doesn't want to bug Leona for any more details because what if his first thought is wrong and all his hopes are crushed?  I mean he never said that Yutu was Yuu's kid... just that they are related. Maybe it's an ancestry thing and he can just adjust the streams a bit?
Meanwhile Yutu is thrilled to see what a great partner to his parent his dad is. It makes him feel very warm and safe, something Yutu hasn't felt in a very long time.
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Ruggie! Yutu is a bit oblivious to certain things.  He tries to socialize with people, really he does but things always just sort of come out wrong and leave him upset, lonely, and embarrassed. He doesn't have Ruggie's charisma or ability to schmooze, but he does have his laugh. Something that endears him to Yuu which is all he really cares about at the end of the day. Hyenas tend to be more solitary and stick to their clans/family units, and while he might not have his ears and tail in your world he still has his instincts.
Yuu remembers Ruggie as someone who took care of them and took a great deal of pride in that. They tell him about how Yutu shares his laugh, and how they know in their soul he would have loved Yutu to bits. Ruggie has a voice line about how he used to make flower crowns for the neighborhood kids back home, and I can see him teaching Yuu how he made them when they were preparing for Yutu so they "could make some for the kid when they get here." Yuu might not remember that's why they know how to make the little crowns Yutu loves so much, but it makes them nostalgic to watch their little dandelion prince run around their backyard in his crown.
Dandelions are his favorite flower from how often Yuu uses them to make flower crowns, and he quite likes making wishes on them.  When he was a child he used to bring them up to Yuu and insist on them making wishes too, he never told them but he was convinced that one day Yuu's memory loss and pain would go away if they just kept wishing on them. He still makes wishes on them sometimes, but he feels very silly about it now.
He likes being useful, especially to Yuu, and is surprisingly good at negotiating for someone who isn't as unflappable as his dad.  People tend to think he comes off as a bit stupid, so they're very blindsided when he knows all his figures and what to charge for his work.  He doesn't fully realize this which tends to annoy people, which he does pick up on but he's too stubborn to let that affect negotiations.  He needs that money more than whoever is dunking on him.
What does he use that money for? Well he wants Yuu to use it on bills, but you keep saying no so he spends it on fabric and yarn. If he's going to spend so much time alone he might as well be able to clothe himself. And you always praised him when he made you something new. Like I said, he wants to be useful.
As described here upon being transported to Twisted Wonderland, Ruggie! Yutu found himself transformed into a hyena beastman. His hearing is overwhelmingly sensitive, Crewel has to speak to him in whispers for the first few weeks, and still finds himself doing it sometimes. Losing Yuu clearly struck a massive blow to Yutu's sense of self, and now Crewel has to tell him about what happened to his dad.
Yutu really likes the idea that the dead in Twisted Wonderland become stars. He starts stargazing to cope with missing his parents, even picking out where in the sky he thinks you and Ruggie are watching over him. It evolves into an interest in stargazing that he keeps up when he travels back in time.
Now Ruggie. Ruggie. When Yutu meets him he's surprised at how accurate Yuu's memories of him were. He loves showing off how good he would be at taking care of Yuu while providing them the room to take care of themselves too. Ruggie has so much respect for what Yuu can do without magic it makes Yutu a bit teary eyed, he had always worried about Yuu feeling alone in Twisted Wonderland since he knows first hand mages can be very judgemental so seeing one not like that-
"Well it's just nice to see." His father can't see it but his tail his wagging underneath his hoodie. For some reason, Ruggie doesn't seem proud of himself though, he's just staring at the ground long and hard like he's thinking about something.
"Are you sure you should be thanking me?" Yutu thinks that Ruggie sounds sad, and he's instantly worried that he's said something wrong somehow but has no idea what it could be or how to explain himself if he had.
"Um- is is there a reason I shouldn't?" Please don't make him guess that's his least favorite game and he always fails-
"Well I mean I'm flirting with your parent ain't I? That could potentially erase your existence." Ruggie is so serious about it that it shocks Yutu out of his spiral.
"Oh. I don't think that will be an issue."
Listen the instant Ruggie learns he can flirt with Yuu to his hearts content without causing timeline issues he gets three times as "insufferable" (Yutu thinks it's cute) with how direct he is to Yuu. He's still more reserved than some of the other boys, he wants you to make the first move, but he's happy that he wasn't misinterpreting your relationship up to this point. Really happy.
He is significantly LESS happy with what Yutu tells him about the future. Ruggie was raised by his grandma and while he loves her to death the last thing he ever wanted for his child was to A) have to struggle like he did and B) have to struggle alone. Don't get him wrong, he trusts Yuu to have given Yutu the best childhood possible given their circumstances but those circumstances never should have existed. It's literally the one thing he has been working for all this time and vowed never to accept failure for.
Very worried about Yutu's health now that he knows he's been a Hyena beastmen all this time under that hood. He uses his new found freedom to take up Yuu's time to keep them away from Ramshackle (until Yutu is ready to tell Yuu) so Yutu can have a bit more time to relax outside of his disguise. he's very impressed by Yutu's sewing skills and takes the time to teach him how to alter his clothes to be more friendly to his tail and ears.
From the bit of reading I did on Hyenas, and some of Ruggie's voice lines, bringing back food for the cubs is very important to them so Ruggie starts being very concerned about seeing Yutu eat enough. He won't even charge for it if he thinks his kid didn't get enough to eat, Rugginald is going to find that boy a sandwich if it's the last thing he does (but not really he's not going to die on Yutu again.)
Surprisingly, Ruggie is more than fine with Yutu's lack of charisma and social awkwardness. It takes all sorts of peoples to make the world go round and Yutu clearly has a good head for figures and a strong work ethic. He knows what his weakness are and he tries to make up for them, what else could a survival minded guy like Ruggie ask for? (One of those sweaters he made Yuu, a matching one preferably he wants to take holiday pictures he's heard rich people do that.)
Ruggie is another one who has no idea how to fix the future, but he's sure Leona will be willing to make it his problem if he learns just how much more work is waiting for him in the future if he doesn't stop things now. In the meantime he tries not to think about the death that could be awaiting him in favor of working to maintain what he has now, and that's you, your not cat, and your star gazing son from the future. Ruggie's never been one to take stock in the idea that a person can be poor in wealth but rich in friends, but damn if he doesn't feel like it every time Yutu asks him to show him something new.
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fanfic-corner · 3 days
Text
Spideypool Fic Recs
I've recently been reading a lot of Wade/Peter fics, so I thought I'd share some of my favourites with you! Please remember to check the tags before reading <3
Lobster Biscuit by Scarlet_Ribbons (2.6k)
Peter goes on a terrible, terrible date, cashes in a favor on behalf of Spider-Man, and begs Deadpool to crash it.
Deadpool delivers.
Not One Hundred Percent by HashtagLEH  (7.3k)
After being drugged at a party, Peter is lucid enough to figure out that he needs help. But who does he even know (and trust) enough that he can just pop up on their doorstep at two in the morning?
Meanwhile, Wade would just really like to know who this random college kid is that showed up at his door.
let me explain by jilliancares (8.5k)
Wade scoffs, shaking his head and elbowing Peter in the side. “Sure,” he says, sarcastic. “That’s why your spidey-sense doesn’t see me.”
Peter’s on the verge of laughing, wanting to join Wade in his amusement, but he freezes. His entire body goes still. He finds himself staring at a roof three buildings over, not even looking at anything. Two blocks away, a car alarm finally shuts off.
“I never told you that,” Peter says, the realization startling him.
Or: Peter's starting to realize just how much Wade knows about him.
Bear the Pain (as the Gods Intended) by mustehelmi (9.8k)
Five times Wade is injured and one time Peter is the injured one.
Gravitation by WillowSong (9.9k)
In a universe where Spiderman never exists, young Peter Parker makes an unlikely friend in Deadpool.
A Friendly Neighbourhood Kidnapping by Willow Writes (12k)
Peter is more than a little mad when Wade ghosts him for years, and then when he finally shows his face in New York again, it’s to kidnap Peter Parker. So he decides to have some fun with the situation and see how long it takes for Wade to recognise him.
Wade thinks he has an easy hit ahead of him and is planning on getting back in touch with his favourite Web–Slinger once the job is done. But Peter Parker seems harder to take down than his buyer let on.
what light through yonder window by hellornothing (14k)
The figure moves quickly, but Peter’s faster. He’s still adjusting to the sudden brightness, so dark red is really the only thing he takes from this initial encounter, but it’s enough.
‘Deadpool?’
aka the one where they get together via late night window visits
The 6 Times Peter Wanted To Reveal his Identity (And the 1 Time He Did) by Spongeekat (28k)
"Look, I’m just a Deadpool. I know I’m not Dr. Phil. But I couldn’t just let you make some bad decision and let the world lose one more hot piece of ass. Anyways, I live in the area and saw you standing on the ledge, and I thought I could maybe talk you down. Dying hurts, in case you were wondering. It’s not worth it.” Dying...hurts? Talk him down? Bad decision?
Oh.
“Oh.” Everything suddenly connected and the gears started turning in Peter’s brain. “No, wait, I wasn’t…” He didn’t quite know how to explain he wasn’t there to do that without completely explaining why he was up there in the first place. Any resolve he may have had earlier about revealing his superpowered persona had melted away, his plans going awry within seconds. "
Or Peter is madly in love with Wade, and plans to meet him on top of his apartment building to reveal his identity. Wade thinks Peter is standing on the ledge ready to jump, and takes it upon himself to make sure he gets home safe and finds a reason to live again.
Finite State by Scarlet_Ribbons (34k)
When he's blackmailed by, of all people, a weird work acquaintance who needs Spider-Man gone for obviously illegal purposes, Peter is forced to hang up the suit- at least temporarily -until he can resolve the situation. Unfortunately, things start to get sticky when Deadpool, who Spider-Man's been on-again off-again with (okay, yeah, lowkey messing around with), crashes into Peter's life and demands the photographer help him figure out what's got his favorite webhead so spooked.
Peter's life is really weird.
I Think I Missed a Step ('Cause I'm Fallin' For You) by mokuyoubi (42k)
There’s a weird familiarity about the kid's tone and posture, and it’s true that Wade is pretty far from home today but he’s also certain he’d remember that baby-face if he’d seen it before. On the other hand, he has spent the better part of the past few years feeling like he’s missed a step, so this conversation isn’t exactly anything new.[[A hot guy is willingly talking to us. Go with it.]][Don’t make an ass of yourself.]“Shaddup,” Wade grumbles, though Yellow has a point...
OR Peter thinks Wade knows his secret identity, and Wade is really confused by the hot coed who keeps popping up and hanging out with him.
Damage by dontcareajot (42k)
Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.
My Boyfriend's a Murder Bot by Fredegund (55k)
Wade Winston Wilson is ugly. His skin's inside out. It ripples and moves every second of every day, at constant war with the cancer. Vanessa put on a brave face for him when she first saw the changes, but it turns out even she can't stomach the sight for long. He's ugly and alone and nothing will ever be good in life again -
If only that were his only problem.
But Weapon X is at it again, under crisp new management, turning orphans into super slaves and bringing out the big guns to make sure nobody interferes this go around (namely one Pool comma Dead). So now, not only is Wade alone and ugly forever, but he's got a bit of a pest problem in the form of a black-clad murder-happy man spider with a collar around his neck and an unhealthy obsession with tying Deadpool up.
So maybe it's not all bad...
Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) by Sarah_Sandwich (72k)
He sighs from where he’s prone, arms akimbo, and roof gravel digging into his spine. “I lost my job. My… other job. The one that actually pays the bills.”
He doesn’t want to dwell on why he’s telling Deadpool of all people. Surely it has nothing to do with his desperate lack of friends. MJ is in California chasing her dreams, Harry’s undergoing treatment for his mental health and isn’t allowed visitors (not that it matters since they blacklisted Peter after last time), and Gwen… Well.
And it’s not like he can talk to Aunt May without her worrying about him starving to death under a bridge or something so… Deadpool it is. Man, when did his life get this pathetic?
OR: The one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots.
Dissonance by stuckybarnes (121k)
Wherein Deadpool is reluctantly hired to protect Peter Parker from an organization out to hunt him, with varying success on both ends and quite a lot of feelings, revelations, and identity crises.
I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I did, and please let me know if you have any more Spideypool recs! And, as always, thank you to all the wonderful writers for sharing these incredible fics with us <33
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reilemon · 16 hours
Text
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊Cool Off₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
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♡︎ pairing: Zayne x fem!reader
。°⚠︎°。MINORS DNI (18+ ONLY)。°⚠︎°。
♡︎ cw: unprotected sex (oops), office sex, semi-public sex, oral sex (f!receiving), fingering, I think that's it?
♡︎ word count: 3.4k
♡︎ synopsis: what to do when you "accidentally" flash your doctor?
♡︎ a/n: I haven't written smut in like three years. So if you think my writing is cringe, just keep scrolling idk.
♡︎ special thanks to my beta reader ♡︎ @its-de ♡︎ for reading and helping me with this
banner by @cafekitsune
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You finally have a day off and you want to use this free time to run errands. However, it's also a hot summer day and you need to dress accordingly. After cleaning your apartment and stocking up your fridge, you have -
meet up with your friend
shop for some new summer clothes and bed sheets
doctor’s appointment
You'd just skip the last one because you feel fine, even during the hot weather.
But you know damn well Dr Zayne will not be pleased with you if you do that. And he's not only your doctor now (and a childhood friend), but an actual friend who you spend most of your free time with. Circumstances of him being your assigned physician, some other stuff that happened in the last few months, brought you so much closer that you couldn't help but develop a huge crush on him. And how could you not when he's so kind, warm, attentive, always makes time for you, funny in his own way... you could spend the whole day thinking of all the stuff that makes you want to be more than friends.
Actually, you might be more than just friends. Lately, you’ve been going on a lot of “dates”; visiting festivals, trying new restaurants but also frequenting your favorite ones, dragging him to the arcade… he’s started insisting on being the one to drop you off at home after a night out. Just a couple of weeks ago when you were sick, he came to your place and took care of you. Both of you ended up falling asleep on your bed watching your comfort movie – actually, he wanted to read his book but ended up invested in the plot and eventually fell asleep before you, tired from his shift and nursing you back to health. You had enough strength to get up to pull out a freshly washed blanket from the closet and cover him. You lied back down, finding comfort in watching Zayne’s peaceful sleeping face. That’s how you fell asleep.
The next morning you found yourself waking up on Zayne’s chest, your form enveloping his. He was gently stroking your back, waiting for you to open your eyes. You don’t know whether you were the one that latched onto him during the night, or if he’s the one that pulled you in; nonetheless, it felt surreal to wake up like this. You looked up into his beautiful hazel green eyes, and you just shared a moment of pure intimacy. Then you got self-conscious of him having a close up of your morning face, which made you immediately jump from the bed and sprint to the bathroom. So, he did manage to nurse you back to health in one day.
You really wish he made the first move already. With all the stolen glances, lingering touches, cuddling, you genuinely think he feels the same way. But you are also his patient, so maybe he feels uncomfortable starting anything, like he’s crossing a boundary and abusing his position as your physician? Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move?
Or maybe you’re just delusional and ovulating.
Okay, back to the present. You’re not going to pass up the opportunity to see your crush (this is more than just a crush, honestly) and you add one more task to the list
get some dessert for Zayne
And you want to look cute for him, so you opt for your new backless summer dress.
☃︎⋆⁺₊☃︎⋆⁺₊☃︎⋆⁺₊
“Thank fuck, I look okay.” You murmur as you check yourself out in the mirror in the bathroom of Zayne's office.
It's just before 8pm, your scheduled checkup. Both of you were too busy to hang out for more than a week, and you can’t wait to see him. You took this opportunity to leave the heavy shopping bags on the sofa, the bag with dessert on his desk, and quickly freshen up in the bathroom. It was so hot today, still is, but thanks to the dress you didn't sweat that much.
You exit the bathroom the same time he enters the office. You catch how his usually stern gaze behind his glasses softens at the sight of you.
“Hey!” You don’t waste any time and shorten the distance between you, wrapping your arms around his neck giving him a peck on the cheek.
Zayne’s hands stiffly hover over your waist, stunned by the enthusiastic greeting. You always have a big smile on your face when you see him, but you’re only this forward when you have some alcohol in your system. He doesn’t smell it on your breath now though.
“Did you miss me that much, or are you trying to coax me to skip the check up?”
You pull away with a pout and a blush on your cheeks. Feeling a little embarrassed, you go and sit on a chair across his desk, steering the conversation towards the dessert you brought him.
With an entertained smirk, he sat on his chair and indulged in just chatting with you, and making plans for the evening. He feels at ease now that you’re here.
Zayne cuts the conversation short to take care of some paperwork, so you entertain yourself with your phone, checking what cafes are open. You sit there in silence, not wanting to disturb him. The room is air-conditioned and you would think you'd start to cool down, but it's impossible to do so when your crush is right across you. You try to focus on your phone but your eyes keep darting between the screen and Zayne’s handsome focused features…his hand holding the pen… his long fingers...
“You need to ask me something?” Zayne peers over his glasses.
Busted!
For like a hundredth time.
You fidget in your seat. “Um, no. I don’t wanna disturb you.”
He closes a file and puts papers aside. “I’m done. Go ahead.”
You make up how you wanted to ask him if he wanted to visit the café on your screen, only to for him to point out it’s closed when you show it to him. Not smooth at all.
You nervously scratch your back, and that when it hits you. You didn't wear a bra today!
In your defense, of course you're not going to wear a bra with the backless dress and when it's so hot outside, and it would be okay if this was just a hangout, but the main reason why you're here is because of the check up! Well, now you're getting even more flustered and you can feel nervous sweat forming everywhere. Great.
Zayne's voice fades into focus.
"Is everything okay?"
“Yeah, let’s just go find a cafe that’s nearby!” You prop yourself to sit up and make a run for it, but the seriousness in Zayne’s tone stops you.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
You wave your hand “I feel great, you don't need to -"
"That's good to hear." He humors you, setting the stethoscope around his neck, eyes not leaving yours.
You engage in a short staring contest, but you never win those with him. You hold back the bratty whine as you get up and walk towards the chair. Should you address this? What would be more awkward – saying that you don’t have a bra on or just slipping off the top of the dress, flashing him? But Zayne is a professional; he probably saw plenty of breasts from other patients and didn’t bat an eye. And maybe he even noticed that you’re braless.
You sit on the chair next to him and Zayne gives you an amused look. “Good girl.”
It was like a reflex - the moment you heard those words, your hands slipped off the top of your dress. Zayne pauses, his eyes locked at the sight before him. Oh shit, did you manage to make the situation awkward after all? Just when you wanted to open your mouth to say anything, he blinks and proceeds to do what he’s supposed to do. You suck in a breath when the icy cold stethoscope touches your chest spreading goosebumps across your skin, making your nipples hard. Zayne's eyes are focused somewhere to the side, but you can see light redness peppered on his cheeks. The two of you sit there in silence while he checks your heartbeat. You try to compose yourself, take slow breaths, but your heart is giving you away.
When he’s done, he takes off the instrument and places it on the table. He clears his throat “Nothing irregular, your heartbeat is a little faster, but the heat is probably to blame.”
Right, the heat.
You hope that the redness, still on his face, and his ears, is not from the sun.
Again, you have two choices – do you pull the top up and act like nothing happened, continue the same ‘will they, won’t they’ routine – or do you want to do something about this, take the first step and find out once and for all if this infatuation is one sided?
You take his hand, making him look at you, ‘Well, can you help me cool down, Doctor?’
Zayne eyes widen slightly, switching between your hand and your gaze, only guessing where you’re going with this.
You gently place his cold hand just above your left breast ‘Is this okay?’ you whisper.
Zayne’s irises are almost black from how dilated his pupils are. As he gazes into your doe eyes, the hand resting on your chest travels up across your skin and lands on the side of your neck. He takes off his glasses, leans towards you, his lips a breath away from yours, “You’re walking on thin ice, darling.”
He grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you into a searing kiss. Zayne is kissing you like a man starved, like he's been waiting for this for so long, afraid that this moment will slip away all too quickly. His other hand wraps tightly around your waist, pulling you closer, pressing your chests together, feeling each other’s heartbeats. You moan into the kiss, surprised by the intensity of it and the desperation of his embrace. His lips are so soft and tender, just like you imagined too many times. The hand on your waist travels up to grab your breast, the sensation of his big cold hand on your heated skin making you gasp against his lips. He seizes the moment to lick your bottom lip, then slipping his tongue, yours quickly meeting it.
Suddenly, both of his hands land on your shoulders pulling away.
He utters ‘fuck’ (this might be the first time hearing him say the f word, and you’re embarrassed how excited it made you.) He holds your chin with thumb and index finger, ‘Do you wish to continue?’
You utter ‘yes’ and grab him by the black necktie locking your lips again. His hands find the top of your thighs, then sneaking their way down to bunch up your dress over your knees.
“Hold onto me.” He murmurs between kisses, and you oblige, catching onto his shoulders. Zayne grabs you by the back of your soft thighs, lifting you from the chair and placing you on his desk, so effortlessly and swiftly, like you weigh nothing.
Your fingers comb through his soft, thick hair, relishing in the fact of being able to touch it like this. His hands cup your face, distancing his lips from yours. You expectantly look up to see his tender, yearning gaze. He looks like he’s about to say something, but then he kisses you again, this time softly, slowly deepening it, stealing your breath away. His soft lips move to kiss and nip at the side of your neck, his hands giving attention to your breasts again. He caresses both of them, and it doesn’t take long for one of his hands to be replaced by his lips. His hot tongue teases around the nipple. But when he starts sucking on it, while simultaneously playing with the other one with his fingers, a loud moan escapes your lips.
Zayne’s smirks against the sensitive nipple, “You need to stay quiet, darling.”
You were so dazed with lust that you completely forgot that there could be people outside his office. You bite your bottom lip and nod.
He nuzzles into the crook of your neck, one hand bunching up your dress more and resting on your hip, while the one on your nipple sneaks its way down, teasing the band of your underwear. You feel his fingers slide down, rubbing you over your soaked panties, making you move your hips, craving more friction.
“Fuck.” He breathes against your ear, “You’re already so wet for me.”
The fingers travel towards the band of your underwear and tug on it, and you lift your hips to let him slide it down your legs. Then he stashes your panties into the pocket of his pants.
He catches you by surprise when he kneels down in front of your cunt, your legs closing on reflex, but Zayne grabs your thighs before they could squish his head.
He gently strokes them, "Let me see you."
You’re hesitant about it, but you remember that you took extra steps when you freshened up in the bathroom. Slowly, you spread your legs, lifting your feet to rest on the edge of the desk. Cool air against your soaked pussy sends shivers all over your body.
His hands rest on the plush of your inner thighs. His eyes are mesmerized by the sight in front of him. You almost feel self-conscious by the close-up he’s getting.
"Zayne –" You squirm under his stare.
Snapping out of his daze, he meets your eyes "I’m sorry. You’re just so much more beautiful than I imagined."
Than he imagined? The statement makes your cheeks even deeper red, your pussy more wet and impatient.
Feeling impatient himself, Zayne starts by placing gentle kisses on your inner thigh. The hand on the opposite side follows the same trail, his slender fingers stopping to tease your wet folds, the contact making you gasp and involuntarily clench your thighs.
"Relax, angel." His breath fans over your pussy, not making it easier but you try anyway.
The digits slowly glide over the wetness, bathing in your juices. Your hips flinch as his fingertips lightly circle your clit, thighs trembling as digits are replaced with his hot tongue. It glides flat over your folds, stopping to circle the sensitive nub. The tip of the tongue flicks over it, circles it, again and again, your cunt dripping with both his saliva and your arousal. His middle finger slides in, ring finger shortly after, curling to reach and rub that delicate spot inside you; he sucks and licks your clit while finger fucking you, and your thighs are now shaking, toes curling, as intense waves of pleasure course through your body.
Your hold onto Zayne’s hair, and roll your hips in the same rhythm of his fingers, chasing your release, "Zayne… I’m gonna–"
He locks eyes with you and continues what he’s doing; you come shortly after, covering your mouth with your hand.
Zayne helps you come down from your high, places soft pecks on your thighs again and stands up, pulling you into another breathtaking kiss.
Your hands frantically find his belt and start unbuckling it.
Zayne breaks the kiss, ‘I don’t have any condoms here.’
You shrug ‘Just pull out.’
‘That’s not very respo – ‘
‘Well, you’re a doctor; you can prescribe me some plan b pills.’ you innocently flutter your lashes.
He chuckles and starts taking off his tie and shirt, and you take a moment to gaze at the strong, chiseled muscles of his torso, his arms and those shoulders. Zayne, amused at your dazed and shameless ogling of his  shirtless physique, reaches down to unzip his pants, taking them and underwear off in the same go, his hard cock smacking against his shaved pelvis. You suck in a breath when your eyes land on it. He's long and thick, curved just right, tip glistening with so much precum. You hand wraps around it, stroking and feeling the pulsing veins under your touch.
Zayne’s breath hitches ‘Are you sure – fuck…’ He groans when you press his length against your slippery folds, teasingly moving your hips.
‘Yes… I need you.’
With those magic words, Zayne swipes all the papers off the table, grabs you behind the knees and lifts your legs further, and you lean back to rest on your elbows.
His dick strokes your slit, tip teasing the entrance, but you're so impatient.
'Zaynee-' you whine.
He closes his eyes, jaw clenched. Even though your ‘friend’ is the embodiment of calm and collected, right now he’s barely holding onto his composure. His flushed cheeks and red ears, ragged breathing are exposing how badly he wanted, needed, this and how he’s trying so hard not to cum right here before even slipping the tip in.
But he doesn’t want to wait any longer; with your needy whines spurring him on, he places his red cockhead against you, your drenched pussy making it easy to slide it in.
His leg muscles tremble, trying to restrain himself from bottoming out the same second; with shallow thrusts, he slowly slides it all the way in. He towers over you, one hand resting on the desk, the other cupping your face. His hips roll at languid pace, his hooded eyes never leaving your face, watching you adjust to his size.
As you get comfortable, you grab him by back of his neck “Faster, please…” You breathe. He leans down, locking your lips into a sloppy kiss.
He slowly picks up the pace, his hand starts playing with your nipples again, and now it's really hard keep your voice down. You keep breaking the kiss in desperate need to catch your breath, but moans escape your lips as well. Zayne grabs your upper arms and pushes you down further. His muscular torso pressed against yours, his pelvis rubbing against your clit.
“Zayne - I'm close”
“Try to stay quiet, angel.” he grunts, his eyes locked on your face, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He angles himself so his hand can reach down and rub your clit, and it’s too much for you - you cum a few seconds later and Zayne has to slip two fingers of his other hand into your mouth to keep you from screaming. You still whimper and moan over his fingers. He slows down to help you ride out the orgasm, and pulls out the fingers to kiss your lips.
'Is it okay to pick up the pace now? I'm so close.'
You only nod, unable to form any words. He plants a kiss on your temple and moves onto kissing and sucking your neck. Then he goes back to just looking at your face while he picks up the pace, your legs locking around his waist, pulling him even deeper. You bite your bottom lip, but at this point, you feel it's impossible to stay quiet. And now it's not only you who is making noise, but the desk, although sturdy, is starting to move and creak.
You gasp as he suddenly lifts you off the table with his big arms wrapped around your torso. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding onto him. His hands grabs your ass and starts moving your hips in unison with his, his throbbing dick thrusting so much deeper, all the juices leaking down his balls and onto the floor.
You latch your teeth onto his neck to keep yourself from screaming while he’s panting feverishly into your ear.
‘I’m gonna come soon –‘
You meet his gaze ‘Don’t pull out.’
His hips stutter at your words, eyes widening for a second. He curses under his breath and picks up the pace. You pull him into a sloppy kiss, lewd gasps and pants interrupting.
His hands squeezing your ass in a bruising grip, he grunts against your lips, and you feel intense throbbing of his cock; warm liquid filling you up, sending shivers all over your sweaty body.
His slow pumps let his thick cum drip out, making a mess of his pants and the floor. You can feel how fast his heart is beating against your chest. The two of you catch your breath as your lips share a languid kiss, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies.
After pulling out, Zayne sits you on his chair. He kneels in front of you, caresses your cheek, his eyes full of adoration. “I never thought our first time would look like this.”
You lean into his palm, looking at him with sweet innocent eyes, “Oh? What did you imagine then?”
“I can show you later.”
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familyvideostevie · 2 days
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5k celebration: emma's garden
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thank you so much for being here. i know this blog has changed a lot since i started it about a year and a half ago, but it means so much to me that even one person wants to hang out, let alone this many. writing is deeply personal and sharing my work with you continues to be both cathartic and also a challenge. i will never stop being grateful. none of this happens without you, so, please celebrate with me! : )
navigation, masterlist, guidelines
anyone can join whether you follow me or not!
send as many as you want, but make each ask separate please!
the deadline for this will be a tentative may 1!
DO SEND: anything for the characters listed in my guidelines/anyone you want to ask if i'd write/talk about, fun thoughts, questions about me
DON'T SEND: the things listed in don't send on my guidelines
i will be write nsfw blurbs if you ask off anon
i will try to do as many asks as i can but i cannot guarantee that i'll get to all of them!
everything will be tagged #emmas5kgarden and fics will be compiled into a masterlist once the celebration ends!
so, let's celebrate! send me any of these ⬇️
🪴 get your hands dirty and plant some seeds!
you do a little bit of work and i'll do the rest! pick a character from my guidelines, an au theme, and a prompt and i'll write a blurb (<1k words) for you. use this post or come up with your own!
🐝 look at the beautiful bee hive!
send me the title/description of a fic of mine and i'll tell you a little bit about what it was like working on it/a headcanon/behind the scenes moment.
📚 or 🎧 to sit in the sun and read or listen to music
send this and a little bit about your taste to get a personalized book or song recommendation.
🥕 let's gather some fresh veg from the garden!
send me this and i'll make you a three-pic moodboard (feel free to specify a little theme/aesthetic!)
🍇let's have a picnic!
let's hang out and talk! send me classic ask games (ama, fmk, tym, etc) or just come chat with me in my inbox. 
🌷 pick some flowers!
help spread the love and make a beautiful bouquet for someone else. send me a fic rec/author rec/gush about your favorites here.
please reblog to spread the word! thank you :)
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mostrovskaa · 17 hours
Note
Hi! I love your art, your color and shape work is amazing!!
I wanted to ask if you have any Polish media you can recommend to us non-Poles - movies, shows, stuff like that
Hi! Thank you so much for the ask! It is a great pleasure for me to share some Polish media to the people! I just have to preface this and tell especially my fellow Poles that: I am by no means an expert on the subject, I like a lot of bad media, I like a lot of children's media and mainstream media that I love to shape by my own creativity ok and I don't know every single niche thing so please don't come for me. Be nice please or I'll die of embarrassment! With that being said, here are just some of my picks of some cool things I like that I would recommend to check out! (Again I don't know about how available these are around the internet and what would be the subtitle situation but still, i love these pieces of media and think they are interesting to even just read or check out visually if anything!)
- The Akademia Pana Kleksa movies (Akademia Pana Kleksa, Podróże Pana Kleksa and Pan Kleks w Kosmosie) (1984-1988)- These children's fantasy and fable inspired beautiful movies based on a book incorporate beautiful puppetry and set designs, visually they are one of my biggest inspirations. Having both dark,whimsical and sci-fi elements they have been in my visual language since I saw them as a kid! Really really recommend looking into them, even though they may be wacky and strange at times! 
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And they contain absolutely amazing songs :
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Available to watch without subtitles unfortunately here, but worth to check out the visuals of all the movies in the series: https://www.ninateka.pl/vod/dla-dzieci/akademia-pana-kleksa/ 
- Poszukiwany, Poszukiwana (Man- woman wanted) (1972) (one of my favorite movies ever!) - a comedy film about a museum curator who gets accused of stealing a painting and goes into hiding as a maid. You would think with polish humor it would be the typical: haha man dressed as a woman, hilarious! type stuff but no! It’s funny, charming, sweet and smart and surprisingly based. Marysia, just one chance please queen. 
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available to watch with subtitles here (alongside many other great Polish movies): https://35mm.online/vod/fabula/poszukiwany-poszukiwana
- Ranczo (tv show, 10 seasons, I believe it’s available on Netflix) - the epitome of Polish society. This is just pure Poland in tv show format. A timeless classic, never gets old, never stops being funny and relevant. Watched it a million times and could watch a million more and not get bored. An American woman with Polish heritage comes back to her family village and chaos ensues. I think the characters are so well defined you don’t need to know so much deep Polish lore to get what is going on so I really recommend it!
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Other stuff you can find on Netflix I recommend are: 1670 - comedy show about 17th century Poland, Rojst (all seasons)- crime show set mainly in the 90’s.
And something that’s a Polish phenomenon that I absolutely love is media based around popular copypasta: a short film Fanatyk  based on this timeless classic of a copypasta, and a tv show called Emigracja XD - about polish guys finding work in the UK.
And obviously the shows I make art for are always something I encourage people check out like Czterdziestolatek (amazing old show with a cult following) and Ojciec Mateusz (absolute shitty formulaic 30 season tv show that i love with all my heart).
Thank you again, sorry for the long post! There’s obviously many more cool Polish media to watch but this is just what immediately popped into my head! :-))
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beenbaanbuun · 2 days
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the Adams!matz universe is absolutely perfect 🤭
But I still have doubts, are the three of them married? Are hwa and joong married and the reader is just a girlfriend?
Anyway, you are my favorite writer ❤️
i’ll give you a little bit of backstory —
hwa and joong are married and had been for a few years before darling even stepped foot into their lives. they were perfectly happy together, but then they spied their darling one evening, looking entirely out of place in a goth club, and for some reason they couldn’t keep their eyes off of her. seonghwa wanted her and so he got her!
it started off as just a sugar relationship; darling would spend time with them, and they would pay for her to have all these fancy things that she really didn’t need. honestly, she was more in it for them than the money, but not having to worry about rent was actually kind of nice. for matz, it was more that they needed something to spend their extra money on. darling was just as in need of money as she was beautiful, so realistically, she was perfect for them.
it was only supposed to be a short term thing, but after spending time with her, they realised that she belonged with them and it became official. they’re not married to darling but they might as well be. she lives with them, shares a bed with them, spends all her time with them; really the only thing that’s different for her and them is that there is no ring on her finger. one day hongjoong and seonghwa would love to make it official, but darling is happy enough with the way that things are. she doesn’t need a ring to prove her love to the both of them…
also thank you for the compliments!! it’s still insane to me that people like my writing so much 😭😭
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kateammann · 1 day
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Hi! I wanted to make an introduction/pinned post since there’s so many new folks here! 🍄🌿🌼
My name is Kate (she/her), and I’m a 22 y/o artist. I’ve had a deep appreciation and love for animals my entire life, and so naturally my artwork revolves around them. I want to create things that bring me joy, with a touch of fantasy, and the occasional bit of spooky as well :D
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I mostly aim to create illustrations of woodland creatures, as they are most familiar to me, and the woods is a place that brings me the most peace. You’ll find lots of bird art as well. I am autistic, and if it wasn’t obvious, they are my special interest!🐥
I have a second blog dedicated to my photography + bird sightings -> @kates-photography
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🌻my shop!🌻
I sell art prints and stickers! :D And currently in the works, I’m creating new products like little clay figures, tote bags, etc.. so stay tuned! I’ll update this post when that happens ;)
🌏INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING -> Those outside of the US can’t purchase through my site, so instead, I take custom orders! It’s easier for me to manage and keep track of things this way. So, DM me if you’re interested in purchasing!! :D (shipping costs are more expensive - Canada $8 - all other countries $11)
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And other things to note just for fun.. I am asexual, as I’m sure a lot of you know me through my ace pride illustrations! And some of my favorite things include gardening, Star Wars, My Chemical Romance, and watching my fav YouTubers (which have been the same people for over 10 years) markiplier and dan & phil lolll
Thank you so much to everyone that supports me and my artwork, whether through purchasing something, or just liking and sharing my posts. It all means the world to me. I’ve wanted to be a full time artist since I was a kid, and you’re helping that dream come true😭💜
🌸other links and socials🌸
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averydayss · 15 hours
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Heaven Sent𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪
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she said don't get too attached but she attached to me
>>contents: in which Jake found out that his crush of 4 years, y/n wrote him a love letter
>>warnings: fluff, angst
>>now playing: Heaven Sent - Tevomxntana
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Who wouldn't know of the one and only Sim Jaeyun? He is what most people would call a heartthrob, his angelic face paired with his beautiful voice and sweet personality would make anyone fold.
Jake is very popular in school, people would automatically look at him wherever he goes. Y/n was one of those people.
Y/n has been crushing on Jake for the past 2 years. Sure she is in the same grade as him, but she doubts Jake even knows her name. Besides shes too shy to talk to him whitout it being akward
Y/n had already made a love letter for him but she didn't want to give it to him, afraid that he would reject her which was probably going to be the case. He had so much pretty fans that send him love letters on a daily basis
It was after class, me and Winter was heading to the cafeteria to eat some food since we both didn't eat breakfast today.
"Hey isn't that Jake's group? The one being surrounded by girls right now" winter pointed to a small crowd of girls who seemingly was surrounding a group of boys
Y/n nodded and was seemingly suprised, sure she knew that him and his group of friends were popular but she didn't expect them to be THAT popular.
"Perhaps this is another sign that he will never like me" she said with her head resting on the table
"Noo don't say that, mabye he just doesn't like to show who he likes?" Said winter with a soft voice
"Really? I don't even know his ideal type, how am i supposed to make him even look at me?" Asked y/n
"Wait, your brother is in his friendgroup right? Can you pls ask him who Jake's ideal type is?" Asked y/n with a pleading voice
Winter shook her head "NO, besides what if my brother thinks that I like Jake instead? It would be too akward and traumatizing for me"
Y/n sighed "If you ask him I'll treat u mint choco for the next month". "REALLY?" asked Winter with an enthusiastic voice.
"Mhm, but you have to ask him and promise not to tell ur brother that i like Jake" said y/n. "Deal" winter said while holding up a pinky finger
The next day, y/n hurried to school to get information from Winter. "SO DID U GET ANY INFORMATION?" asked y/n enthusiasticly
"Duh, of course i did" said Winter. "THEN WHAT IS IT" asked y/n curiously
"My brother asked Jake whats his favorite color in a girl, he answered anything is good, he also asked jake whats his type and he said girls who are nice and also smart girls" answered Winter in a detailed way
"He likes smart girls? What's his next class? Mabye i can lend him my notes to make him think im smart" asked y/n
"If im not wrong him and my brother share the same class, if im not mistaken his next class is chemistry"
"Really? That's perfect then, i had chemistry before and i took some notes"
"Then you should give him ur notes before his next class starts" said winter after taking a bite of her lunch
"THANKSIES ur the best Winter i owe u a lot" said y/n. "Of course you do" said winter while rolling her eyes playfully.
Fortunately, y/n found Jake beside his locker whitout anyone else
"Heyy Jake, did you study for the chemistry test yet? If not i can lend u some of my notes" said y/n nervously while making a small smile
"Y/n? It's really rare seeing u talk to me, sure I'd love ur notes" said Jake while flashing his infamous smile who took u so much to not fold. With that you lent him Jakes notes
Chemistry class ended and y/ns notes was a big help for him. But he forgot to return y/ns notes after class and now he was stuck with her notebook
At home, Jake started studying, although he couldn't focus studying because of the way y/n smiled at him earlier, if only she knew how much he liked her
Jake has had a crush on y/n for the past 4 years, but Jake never started a conversation with her because she seems akward everytime he talks to her, and because of that he concluded that she simply didn't like to talk to him
It was kind of a bummer since everytime she talked to anybody else, y/n always has an energetic vibe and tone to it, very different than when she talked to him.
When he was stuck in a chemistry question, he remembered that there was a formula in y/ns note that would solve it
When he dug through his bag, he found y/ns pink notebook. When he was flipping through the pages a paper fell out. When he bent over to grab the notes, he froze.
In the note was a familiar name "To: Sim Jaeyun". He knew in a way that this was an invasion of privacy, although in his defense there was his name
"Hey, im Y/n from class 12B, you probably don't know me but I've had a crush on u for 2 years but I can't confess to you in person since it would be really akward. I love your smile and the way you treat others so kindly, its like your heaven sent. I know you probably don't feel the same way to me even though i hope you do but i wanted to get this feeling off my chest."
To: Sim jaeyun, From: y/n
Jake couldn't believe his eyes, his crush of 4 years liked him back all along? He felt like he was on cloud 9, smiling so much all night
The next day, Jake didn't even bother eating breakfast. He wanted to arrive to school as fast as possible to confront y/n about the letter and possibly confess to her too. There he saw y/n walking through the halls
"Hey y/n" Jake approached you while lightly tapping your shoulder. "Jake? Whats up?" Y/n said.
"Sorry i forgot to return your notebook yesterday, here it is" Jake said while lending your pink notebook to you
"I know this is probably an invasion of privacy but i saw your love letter to me"
"What do you mean?" Y/n asked confused. Whitout saying anything Jake pulled a familiar letter out of his pocket
You suddenly feel your face heat up. You remember writing that letter a year ago and you were planning to give him the letter on valentine's day. You didn't ended up doing that because you were to scared that he would reject you
So instead, you placed the letter in-between the pages of your notebook and you forgot to take it before you lent him your notebook
"About that, im sorry it's totally okay if you don't feel the sam-" before y/n could finish her sentence, she felt his lips pressing against her lips. He kissed you
When he finally pulled back, y/n was still in shock. "I like you too, y/n. For 4 years I've liked you" he said with a soft smile
Since that day, y/n and Jake became the schools favorite couple
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💳: divider by @v6que. Other images are from pinterest, credits to all the owners
A/N: Feel free to request something xx
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 16 hours
Note
SHANE MY BELOVED anyways gonna request based on an oc that i made/an ai chatbot chat that i did recently. selectively mute reader with shane, and how their relationship evolves? strangers to lovers probs. hcs or oneshot/drabble :3 -galaxy
WAHOOO
I got 5 hearts with him as we speak so this is perfect timing <3
......
Settling into Stardew Valley was certainly going to be a challenge, especially with the new life you wanted to build here..and of course that entails meeting new people.
For most of your life, you've been selectively mute, only ever using your voice if you absolutely have to.
You never used it much at your previous office job, but it was still quite soulless and didn't make you feel good.
Even so, Lewis doesn't think you should stay a stranger and insists you introduce yourself to folks in Pelican Town.
You couldn't ignore the letters stuffed into your mailbox forever..so you finally headed into town.
While some villagers regarded you as "quiet", many of them chalked it up to you being new and welcomed you anyways.
Although Shane is indifferent and annoyed--as he is to most strangers.
You accidentally bumped into him, and he thinks you're rude for not saying "sorry".
Your brain sorta panics as you sign the words...but from the way he stares at you, you realize he doesn't understand what you're saying.
By the time you get out your notepad, he's long gone, mumbling about being late to his shift.
Since then, you try being polite and wave to him anytime you see him in the street or at the saloon..but he just wonders why you're even bothering him.
One thing he kept noticing at the bar was that you always gave your order to Gus on your notepad, and he starts thinking there is a reason you can't talk and you weren't just being a dick specifically to him that day.
Still, he doesn't bother to ask you. You're probably gonna stop trying to befriend him sooner or later. So why should he care?
One day, you approach Shane while he's working at JojaMart and asked him where a certain food ingredient was, pointing to your shopping list..and you see that irritable look in his eye again.
He had customers mixing up things on the shelves and snapping at him for things outside his control--and you caught him on a rather bad day.
He says nothing and just points further down the isle, but you just smile and mouth "thank you", signing the words before continuing on.
Poor guy goes red, convinced you blew a kiss at him just now...and it's all he could think about for the rest of his shift.
The very next day, you show up at Marnie's place with a fresh pizza, asking if Shane was home.
He gets flustered as HELL when he realizes you were at the mart buying ingredients to make one of his favorite foods...and he acted like a total jackass.
You left a note inside the container, which basically tells him you're selectively mute and realized your farm was just down the road from his aunt's ranch.
After reading it, he awkwardly apologizes and asks for a fresh start, to which you just smile and nod.
Jas, at this point, can see he's got a crush on you.
After that was cleared up, you two become friends and hangout together at the saloon often or share a beer on the dock.
You don't talk, but tbh Shane appreciates the silence between you two. He didn't have to force conversation, and neither did you.
Although that also enables him to vent to you about how downtrodden and repetitive his life feels, with you simply listening and accompanying him home.
It doesn't change the fact he felt like a burden to everyone, and one night you found him on the cliffside, his face covered in mud and tears, ready to give up on the world.
In his drunken haze, he forgot you were mute and wants you to tell him why he shouldn't do it..
"No wait..I..forgot you can't-"
"Shane..I'm here for you." Your voice comes out low, hoarse, and a little shaky, but he stopped sobbing the moment he heard it..and he stares up at you in shock.
"S-So..you do speak.." He mumbles. "You sound....like--like an angel...fuck..maybe they do exist. You'll...be here for me no matter what? Even if I did something stupid...?"
You simply nod, and that makes him change his mind.
He just can't believe that out of all the people in this town, you chose to open up to him--some sad sack of shit who was about to jump off the cliff--and decide he should be the one to hear your voice first.
Maybe..that was a sign that people still wanted him around. And you never hated him despite all the times he was rude to you.
After he nearly vomits all over your shoes, you take him to the hospital, knowing he needed Harvey's intervention, and since then you've been supportive of his recovery journey.
He only remembers bits and pieces from that night..although the one thing he couldn't forget was hearing your voice.
It was probably so difficult for you to find it again, and he appreciates you talking him down, even if you had to close up and go totally silent for the next few days or so.
If you ever go into why you became selectively mute, Shane will do his absolute best to understand (and maybe get a little overprotective in the process if someone makes fun of you for it).
But if not, he'll still defend you regardless.
You teach him a few general phrases in sign language, which he tries to grasp and eventually gets the hang of.
At some point down the line..he asks you out on a festival date after much pressure from Jas and Marnie, and you were so excited you nearly yelled out "YES"-
But instead managed to nod happily, taking his hand and dragging him towards the celebration without a second thought.
Soon that little date turns into a genuine relationship, with Shane eventually moving onto your farm to help you care for the crops and animals, switching to alternatives to beer and promising to cut back on the hours he spends at the saloon.
Some days you'll be away mining, fishing, slaying monsters, or helping the Junimos rebuild the community center, but other times you'll stay inside and just cuddle with him, your pet, and the chickens.
He was muddling over why you chose him out of all the people in this town, and you spoke to him again--this time to his sober-self.
That was "because I love you".
And yes...he did cry.
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wrongcaitlyn · 1 day
Note
Do you have any headcanons for the canon pjoverse???
oh my GOD DO I?? I HAVE SO MANY it's hard to even keep track of them all bc tbh i forget which ones are canon or not canon
in general i've put a *lot* of my hc's into my fics, specifically my because i'm a mirrorball series which is basically my version of will's backstory (even though a large amount of it was disproved by tsats... i'm just ignoring that bc it's already engrained in my head even though i did enjoy tsats)
i also think i share quite a few of the popular hc's of the fandom, just because i'm actually pretty new to it (read the pjo series in like september of 2022 i think? and then hoo and toa immediately after) and i consume fandom content to an unhealthy extent
HOWEVER here are some things i feel very strongly about
will is a swiftie. i think this is canon bc rick mentioned it during the tsats book tour i think?? or maybe cotg?? not sure but i DO think he said it at some point
and also his favorite album is fearless like he's that album's number one stan im sorry there's no other answer
nico can cook like rlly well
LEO NICO AND WILL FRIENDSHIP i know that leo lives at the waystation now. but. BUT. i'd like to think that he'd visit chb every once in a while and they'd be pretty good friends
adding on to that, aroace leo. caleo what? nope. leo is aroace and he was in denial and i actually wrote a whole fic about it because i just feel very VERY strongly about this
i just love the idea that even before toa, apollo was more present in his kids' lives than other gods. like, showing up in dreams and stuff. even if it came from a different purpose, like wanting to show off his poetry or music or whatever, he wasn't completely absent from their lives
i very much like the idea of will and nico sort of stepping up to be the "leaders"-ish of chb once percabeth leave for new rome. i mean, will already sort of is one with him being the head medic and also having seniority over a lot of the campers, and nico being a child of the big three like percy
percabeth returning to chb to create a sort of new rome type place for older demigods to live!! so they do not feel like they're going to die young immediately when arriving!!! bc they are children!! and deserve to live long lives!!!
i have a *lot* of thoughts about will and his trauma, but one of the main things i believe about him is that his fatal flaw is putting others before him and overworking himself. i think that being pushed into the head medic position from such a young age sort of emphasized this, though i also think (from my ideas of his childhood) that he was kind of always taught to put other people and other jobs at a higher priority than himself
nico dies first. i know i was just talking about them living long lives and i think that ends up being true, but also nico is a demigod child of hades and i think around his 30s would already be way longer than anyone would expect. anyway, i think that he dies first, simply because i cannot put that boy through any more, and i know i could say the same thing about will after having lost so much as well, but i think that the idea of nico being right at the entrance of the underworld by the river styx to welcome will once he dies (bc nico's the ghost king/prince of the underworld and isn't confined to elysium) is a very comforting thought
those are the main things i can think of right now just off the top of my head, but if there's any specific parts of canonverse that you'd like my thoughts about, feel free to ask! this didn't really cover a lot of like the general pjo/hoo timeline and it was mainly solangelo centric but likeee these are just things i thought of first! thank u for the ask!!
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