#just. the maddie and buck's childhood absolutely devastates me

[himbodiaz]

you know, i can understand buck wanting to forgive his parents as a way to bring himself closure. what i don’t get is both his and maddie’s insistence that they’re “not bad people, just bad parents” because the way they treated buck and maddie before and especially after daniel’s death is what makes them bad people. i’m not saying it’s not okay to grieve, because the loss of a child is an absolutely devastating thing to have happen. but they disappeared into their grief, so much so that they didn’t allow maddie to talk about one of her brothers, while simultaneously neglecting the other so bad that she had to raise him. and it just makes me endlessly sad that they both still feel they need to make excuses for the way their parents treated them. 

#drew speaks #just. the maddie and buck's childhood absolutely devastates me #honestly both their stories until they reach la and the 118 hurt like hell #but this part always makes me so so angry #evan buckley #maddie buckley

[mr-and-mr-diaz]

No but it's really sad when you think that Buck already knew they were hiding something or talking about things and not including him. His parents won't tell him and neither is the one person he could rely on (who also left him, although not without cause).

And suddenly there's someone ELSE talking about him or in 'the know' and he's STILL on the outside. And yeah, it could be nothing. Work stories, maybe. But Chimney was acting sketchy and actively avoided talking to him and probably did the same when they got back to the station.

So suddenly, even his found family is keeping secrets. And even worse - the secrets are about him. Or at the least; they talk about him behind his back and won't tell him what they say.

Poor baby is probably DEVASTATED and feeling like he has absolutely nowhere to turn. Because Maddie won't stand up to their parents (her trauma makes her shut down) and Chimney won't talk to him and even Eddie doesn't actually know anything.

OMG anon the whole thing is so tragic. The Buckley parents really let Maddie and Buck down an uncountable amount of times and watching them try to cope and work their hardest to be there for each other just makes me want to cry.

Like Buck wants to make it work for Maddie’s sake, but he hates how much of her parents crap Maddie is willing to swallow just to have them in her life. And meanwhile Maddie has this far off image of what her parents used to be like and no doubt in her head if she can just find that ingredient X she can bring them back to that place and they will finally treat Buck well and be a presence in her daughter’s life. She knows that things could be different and is reaching for that, hoping it could bring healing and help make her and ESPECIALLY Buck feel whole again. As much as she tried her best while they were kids to be there for him, there is only so much a sibling can do to try and fill the gaping hole where a parent’s love and acceptance should be.

Then Buck is hurting so badly. He doesn’t know a time when their parents were any different than exactly the way they are now. And while the parents are aggressively all up in Maddie’s grill (not in a healthy way at all) as far as Buck is concerned they just. aren’t. there. AT ALL! It’s like he’s invisible and they only talk to him when he’s running the risk of becoming a problem. Meanwhile he’s DESPERATE for them to acknowledge him, just LOVE him, and there’s nothing there. This is further hardened and reinforced with the introduction of Maddie’s baby box. The moment where Buck was like “OMG this is so sweet, where’s mine?” and they didn’t even merit that with a response?? It destroyed me. I can only imagine the pain.

If the parents were dealing with Maddie and Buck in the same exact way it would be easier for them to have a united front like they wished. But because the parents deal with Maddie by being SUPER passive aggressive and don’t deal with Buck at all, their responses are all over the place. Watching Buck and Maddie interact with their parents is like watching two people struggling not to drown--they need to be there for each other, but can barely stay afloat themselves. Add to that the MONSTER wedge driven between them by this secret and their wishes to be in each other’s corners are as good as doomed.

Maddie also isn’t perfect here. She made a lot of mistakes by not speaking with Buck before inviting the parents to visit. Then warning him only days before, giving him very little time to emotionally prepare. Then not telling him the secret. But it has to be remembered that she has been dealt the damage of her childhood, and the damage of Doug, and to her knowledge this might be the best choice between two REALLY bad choices. Was it right? No, but that’s easy for us to see since we aren’t clouded with the amount of pressure and stress she’s under. 

So, to summarize, there are two assholes who were themselves damaged by the death of a child and proceeded to check out of their other children’s lives. This left the two other children to cope for themselves in whatever way they could, and the older child burdened with a HEAVY secret and a constant reminder of what it was like “before.” The second child is dealing with parents who are emotionally unavailable, and an older sibling who is doing her best to cope and care for him while also still being a child and dealing with her own damage.

In this light, the fact that the Buckley siblings are the kind, caring people that they are considering EVERYTHING they’ve been to is a testament to their strength of character. And it’s this strength of character that will pull them through this crisis as well I hope. We’ll see.

Sorry for how this got, anon, It was supposed to be short and then thoughts started happening, and, well, here we are...

#evan buckley #maddie buckley #911 #911 spoilers #buckley parents #update: they still suck #Anonymous

[briinstardust]

Maddie keeping a childhood secret will devastate buck, he now gonna have bad trust issues along with abandonment issues, but what can she know that he doesn't(12-14 age gap) and it coming out when she about to give birth. Has he blocked something out. I wonder if buck begins is buck looking back at his childhood with new info rather the seals

DEVASTATE! Damn y’all! holy shit we’re really out here doing this I guess. okay then.

I absolutely 100% believe that whatever Maddie tells Buck will bring up abandonment issues for him as well as trust issues, wondering if he can trust his sister or not.

I think there is plenty that Maddie could know about their childhood, and Buck’s bc if we’re going off the 14 years age difference. then Buck’s 2 and Maddie’s 16 so Maddie is mature enough to know stuff that’s going on with their family, and depending on what we get told about their parents will also have to inform the way we look at the rest of Buck’s upbringing.

we could be told that one of their parents is missing or dead and that Maddie really knows what happened to them. it could be that one of their parents went off to start another family, and Buck was told something different growing up.

we could be finding out entirely about their parental situation.

we could be finding out that Buck has other siblings or half-siblings.

like there are so many things we could be finding out that all come back to Buck’s abandonment issues.

okay and if we’re looking at it like this. Buck’s never had trust issues before, has he? Abandonment issues sure yes. that anxious attachment style sure, but he usually to me at least feels like he trusts rather quickly. but whatever Maddie is keeping from him could absolutely give him trust issue for sure.

I am entirely wondering what this has to do with Maddie’s baby tho. like is it bc she’s getting ready to have a baby that she’s thinking about things she wished she had told Buck before now, is she thinking that she wouldn’t want her kid to grow up and not know everything about themselves? like what about this timing is it that makes Maddie need to tell Buck this information now?

I mean dude I have shit in my childhood that I have blocked out, that I till this day don’t know what happened. I have fuzzy memories, but I have a chunk that I entirely blocked out during my childhood for sure. so like that’s absolutely a possibility for Buck. but like does Buck mention something about remembering something or what? like how would we know that he’s blocked something out, and why would Maddie tell him something traumatic if Buck doesn’t even know it’s happened. like is that really the best thing for him? I can see Maddie bringing it up if Buck starts talking about something like that but like otherwise I cannot see Maddie just being like “Oh here’s a traumatic thing from your childhood BTW” so like there has to be something to make Maddie divulge that I think.

With this new information, I’m also wondering if we’re going into Buck’s childhood for Buck Begins, which means we’ll find out about their parents... 

#Bri Screams #anon #9-1-1 speculations #9-1-1 spoilers #911 spoilers #The Evan Buckley Saga continues #y'all I'm so excited I can't sit fucking still rn #also all my thoughts are wildly incoherent rn y'all are just gonna have to deal with that for a bit #a bitch is excited AF. it's me I'm bitch.

[briinstardust]

i completely agree with you, the half-sibling thing doesn't sound traumatising to me, but then again i am an only child so i would have no clue. i feel like adoption is where they're most likely gonna go, but in all honesty, i feel like a secret child would have so much more like story depth and we can see buck evolve as a character so much more, like the amount of angst we could get between maddie and buck is ridiculous and i love it. we could see like buck freaking out and calling eddie

cont. and basically learning how to be a dad to his own child  ya know? and the daughter would encourage him to reach out to maddie and forgive her, cause buck is so forgiving. i am honestly rooting for this storyline cause there's no way that buck would completely cut out maddie from his life cause of his own experiences with maddie and abby, he knows what it's like to be left behind and we know that buck, as a character, would never do something like that.

so I grew up an only child, I had a half-brother, but we did not grow up together. so I also only have the viewpoint of having been an only child. I think adoption has the most merit, but to find out they have another sibling also might be an interesting route.

I honestly don’t love or even like the idea of Buck having a secret kid. finding out that he had a kid that someone kept secret from him would devastate Buck, and I do not want to see that at all tbh.  bc it paints this idea that not only do people not think Buck is mature enough to handle the truth about having a kid, but it also paints him has irresponsible, and then it paints him as a bad dad for being out of this kids life for so long, when he had no idea he had a kid, and then Buck will go into an entire guilt spiral, bc he loves kids so much, and the thought that he had one and couldn’t be with them would just break him. There are so many things about that specific thing that I don’t like, and I really hope that is not a storyline that they chose to go with.

I will absolutely entertain it in fanfic, but I won’t entertain it in canon. there are too many things about it in canon that I just entirely do not like.

I really don’t like it, I am really on the adoption thing, also bc the “secret” or whatever is about “their childhood” so like it has to be something about Buck and Maddie when they were children, and the secret kid thing just doesn’t make much sense at all for this.

#Bri Screams #ho1yhell #9-1-1 speculations #9-1-1 spoilers #911 spoilers #Buck having a secret kid tho? anyone want to talk about that? #It's not for me but like we could keep talking about it