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#justin&clay are everything to me
inutaffy · 8 months
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the physical PAIN im feeling right now
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jensensfanfic · 11 months
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NOT JUST THE FLU
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pairing: justin foley x gn!reader (romantic) + clay jensen x twin!reader (familial/platonic ofc)
warnings: cursing, vomiting, justin in recovery - mentions of specific drugs, hints of justin's trauma from being on the streets, coughing, lmk if i should add anything else! (i am not an expert on addiction/recovery + symptoms so please don't come @ me)
a/n: here's another fic from my wattpad days. in the original version of this fic, i wrote the reader to be extremely pissed off and annoyed, but in this version they're a lot more understanding and soft
13 REASONS WHY MASTERLIST
—☆—
"Anyone home!? Hello?"
As you close the front door, you kick off your boots, shoving them under the radiator to dry. With dripping hair and soaked clothes, you wander into the kitchen, leaving a trail of wet patches on the carpet in your path. You blow our a long, tired breath and head to the fridge for a bottle of water.
You call out again. "Hello!? Mum? Dad? Clay?" You pause for a few seconds, gulping down half of your drink." No? Just me, then. Sweet."
Figuring that you are home alone, you climb the stairs to the bathroom. You take the small pile of fresh pajamas you'd left before school and change into them. As you're drying your dry, you hear some clattering coming from Clay's room, immediately followed by a curse and then what sounds like a window being opened.
"Clay? You're here?" You knock on your brother's bedroom door. "Why didn't you answer me before?"
When you don't get a response, but continue to hear a string of curse words, you turn the handle and go in anyway. Your eyes widen when you see your friend, Tony. Well, just the back of him at least, as he sits on the window and then jumps down.
"The hell..." You charge forward, watching as he picks himself up from where he'd landed. "Tony, what the fuck?!"
Tony stands, brushes dirt from his jeans, and then looks back up. "Clay said you were studying with Jess."
You're at a loss for words as you frown.
"He said you'd be out late."
"What? I– we got done early. But that doesn't answer my question. What the fuck? Why were you in Clay's room alone?"
"Uh– not alone..." You turn around at his words and your eyes widen further upon seeing Justin Foley laying on your brother's couch, snoring.
How had you completely missed him lying there?
"Tony! Seriously, what the hell is going on?"
"Clay will explain. I have to go." With that, Tony gets into his car and drives away promptly, leaving you confused.
You shake your head in disbelief, then slide the window shut and turn to Justin. You walk over and give him a small shove.
"Justin? Hey..."
Justin wakes instantly, looking around the room, probably for Clay, but when he only sees you, he sits up and looks worried. "Um..."
"Can you please explain to me why the fuck you are in my house, drooling all ovwe my brother's couch?"
Justin opens him mouth to speak, but right at that moment, Clay arrives in the doorway to his room. "Shit! Crap. Uh– I can explain all of this."
"What on earth, Clay? Did you, like... smuggle him in here. Do mom and dad know?"
"They don't, and... kind of. I mean, yes. Yes, I did."
"And Tony was here because?"
"Tony was watching him while I was out."
Justin coughs. "Ugh, I told you, I don't need a babysitter."
You and Clay respond simultaneously. "Shut up."
You shake your head, confused. "Why would Tony need to babysit him?"
Clay looks down at Justin, who looks up at you before opening his mouth to speak. "I– uh– it's–"
"He's sick." Clay interrupts him. "He has the flu. Yeah. I brought him back to help Jessica with the trial and everything... but he's sick, so he's been staying here."
"Why does he need to be here just because he's sick?" You drop your shoulders, mouth hanging open slightly. You sit down on Clay's bed. "How long has he been here?"
Clay gulps before answering. "A few days."
"For real? I mean, what the hell, Clay? You've had Justin Foley in your room for a few days, and you didn't tell me? Are you completely crazy, or am I a total dumbass for not even noticing?"
Clay sighs. "Look, I'm sorry. But we can't risk him being seen."
You rest your head on your hand. "This is crazy."
"I know, okay? Just please... don't tell mom and dad."
Clay gives you his classic, wide-eyed, pleading face. The one he makes when he wants a favour from you, or if he's done something wrong and needs you to cover for him. He thinks it works, but, honestly, it never has.
However, thinking about it, you decide you would rather not face your parents after they find out this... secret. You can imagine their faces and the questions and the yelling they would do, directed at you and Clay. Since now, you have been involved.
"Yeah. Okay, fine." You chuckle. "Can you imagine what they'd say?"
Clay smiles and nods, and then sits down on the end of his bed next to you. "I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you right away."
"Forget it. Does he have medication?"
Justin shakes a small bottle of pills and points to the bottles of meds and water on the table.
"Great."
You feel before you see Clay tense a little, and you look st him with a quirked brow. "What now?"
"You are going to absolutely hate me for this, and I won't blame you if you do, but Tony, um... he can't skip school again tomorrow. Do you think you could– well, you know."
"You want me to watch him? You're serious?"
"Please. Just this once. I'll make sure you don't have to again. I'll figure something else out."
You huff. "Fine. I have first two periods free, so only until then."
"Thank you." Clay nudges your shoulder and smiles. "You're the best twin a brother could ask for."
"I know." You smile back at your brother, and then both of your eyes widen at each other when you hear Justin hiccup and then cough.
"Oh, God!" You try to grab the waste bin quickly, but Justin has vomited all the carpet before you can reach him.
—☆—
You sigh loudly when your phone rings again. "Jesus Christ!"
Justin tries to look over your shoulder. "What is it?"
"Clay... again."
You type a message back to your brother and then slide your phone onto the desk without looking. "He's demanding an update. Like, I'm sorry I forgot, I was sort of in the middle of cleaning up snotty tissues and your favourite vomit-covered shoes, bro."
Justin laughs. "Yeah, oops on that one, he's gonna be pissed."
"Most definitely."
"You have to admit, taking care of me isn't that bad?" Justin smirks.
"What makes you think that? It's gross."
"C'mon, Jensen." Justin smirks, his voice cocky as he explaisn. "Jeff told me."
"Told you what?" You ask, hoping Jeff Atkins really didn't let slip your secret."
"He told me what you said. That you thought I was 'hot', and I quote, 'as fuck'."
Ugh, Jeff.
You figure there isn't much point in denying it. You did find Justin attractive, and you weren't ashamed to think that. However, you do spin a tiny fib and pretend like your little crush on Justin is old news.
"Well... that was after that one night when you were fighting with Zach outside Hannah's party. You were having the time of your life, and so was I while checking you out."
"Oh, really?" Justin beams, and the smile looks strange against his sickly, exhausted looking face.
"How can you be this cocky and... flirty while simultaneously looking like you currently do."
Justin's mouth falls open. "What do you mean?"
"I mean... you really, really look the part of a sick person right now."
"Thanks?" He says, then makes you jump when he blurts out, "Shit, I'm fucking freezing!"
"I gave you three blankets!"
Justin shrugs. "I'm still cold."
"It's probably your fever." You sigh. "Be right back."
You quickly go to your own room and take the duvet from your bed.
"Here." Back in Clay's room, you throw the duvet over Justin, who takes it gratefully and pulls it around himself.
He frowns, surprised by the kind gesture, given that most of your shared time together, you'd been grumpy and impatient to leave.
"Thank you. But won't you need this yourself?"
"You want me to take it back?"
"No." He holds up his hand in defence. "I'm good, I'm good."
It's silent for a little while, so when Justin coughs again, it makes you look over at him. For the first time since you'd discovered him in your home last night, you actually take in his face properly.
You notice his eyes first. They're bloodshot, tired-looking, with little brusie-like circles underneath. His face isn't just pale; it's almost grey, and upon squinting at his hands for a few moments, you realise they are shaking.
Looking down at his medication, you see that not all of them are even meant to be taken for a 'flu'.
You stand up, frowning, and Justin follows your movements as you spot a fold tucked under Clay's desk, and lean down to pick it up. Before you can read it, Justin coughs, and you're certain it's fake; done in order to distract you.
"What am I going to find in here, Justin?" You plop back down onto the bed with the folder, and place it on your lap. "What isn't Clay telling me?"
Justin pulls the blankets tighter around himself. "Nothing, I–"
"You look awful. Like, worse than the flu awful. You're all lying to me, aren't you? You, Clay, and Tony." You roll your eyes when Justin doesn't respond. "Look, just tell me. Please. I promise you, whatever it is, I'll still keep my mouth shut. I just want to know what I'm really dealing with here."
You're about to push further when your phone rings again. You groan loudly. Answering it, you ignore Clay's questions and mutter, "Call me back in 20."
You hang up and throw your phone to the side. "So?"
Justin closes his eyes. "Just open that dumbass folder Clay made."
You do as he says, eyes widening when you read the first line on the first page inside. You read it aloud, "'Detoxing From Heroin.' What and what not– Justin, what–" You blow out a breath, taking a minute to let your anger fade, the feeling being replaced by concern and confusion. "What happened to you? After you left..."
Something in Justin's eyes shift. He suddenly seems scared, shy, maybe even a little ashamed. "I–" His voice cracks. "When I left–"
"Don't answer that." You quickly move to kneel beside him, leaning up on the couch and laying a hand over one of his. "Okay? You don't have to."
"Hm. Thanks." He relaxes and turns his hand, so that he can interlace his fingers with yours. When you don't pull away, and instead, squeeze his hand back, he smirks.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" You ask, amazed by how quickly he seems to be able to change his entire mood.
"Because I knew it."
"Ugh. What?"
"You still like me, don't you?"
"Shut up, Foley." You pick up the folder again, opening it up to the page on medication. "Okay, what did you take before I got here?"
Justin doesn't answer right away, he just watches you flipping through the folder and mutters to himself. "Yeah, you still like me."
—☆—
Later that day, when Tony arrives to switch with you, Clay comes home too. You give them both an ear-bashing before leaving the house and heading back to school.
—☆—
A few days pass, and when you're walking to the shower one night, you hear Tony, ranting to Justin about how he needs to be somewhere else. You don't quite hear the what's and where's, or who's, but before you can even think about it, you push open the door.
"Go, Tony. If you need to. I've got it tonight."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm free, so go ahead."
"Okay." He pats you on the shoulder as he leaves the room. "Thank you."
You go and sit next to Justin on the floor, where's he got his knees tucked up against his chest, and his arms wrapped around them, shivering. "You're back. Thought you told Clay that you weren't gonna help after the other night."
"Yeah, well, I lied, I guess."
He smiles sweetly, and then you sigh to yourself for showing how much you really care for Justin, when you squeeze his knee. He looks up, confused, and then you turn your hand, palm up and nod.
Justin takes your hand once again, and then Justin lays his head on your shoulder. You lay your own against his.
"This is nice." He whispers.
"Yeah... until you throw up again."
Justin snort-laughs; and what you don't see is that at that moment, Clay arrives home. He looks in on you both, surprise making him leave you alone as he walks back downstairs, mumbling to himself.
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Taglist: @mockerycrow @wqxianwriting
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thedragonchilde · 13 days
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YES HELLO For the If They Had A Kid meme:
Royal Flush and Pinochle!
Oh, you've given me an interesting challenge!
Pinochle
Name: Justine Crockett de Sand
Gender: Female
Appearance:
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Personality: Too clever by half, charismatic, and the sharpest tongue you will ever meet. Definitely a troublemaker.
Talents: Sarcasm. Inadvertently making people fall for her.
Who they like better: Chibodee lets her get away with more (so, naturally, it's George's approval she wants)
Who they take after: George exhaustedly jokes that she takes after "Aunt" Marie-Louise
Headcanon: Isn't everything headcanon with an original character?
----
Royal Flush (cough cough, I may have already thought about this before)
Name: Apollo Kasshu-Crockett
Gender: Male
Appearance:
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Personality: - actually a hurricane; mess follows wherever this kid goes make sure there are no more national landmarks to be leveled
- easily frustrated; overload/meltdowns not uncommon
- can def be a rambling chatterbox; feels like most people can't keep up or don't want to listen
- hella ADHD
- will Absolutely speak up when something is wrong, even (especially?) if it's coming from an adult
- this has probably gotten him into fights before
- activism might be calling your name, kid; lord knows politics could use some help
- preferred method of nonverbal communication is art, actually, with paint/clay in hair/under nails to prove it
- not always happy, but definitely always energetic
- gimme ALL the physical affection, from headpats to full body hugging
Talents: Art! Endurance fighting.
Who they like better: Tough call, though he does open up to Chibodee slightly easier, because...
Who they take after: Well, he got the worst of both worlds (Chibodee's impulsiveness, Domon's tempestuous moods), but overall he's close enough to Domon in temperament that they tend to butt heads
----
And honestly, since I've drawn them both, I'm not also looking for face claims. (Plus, like, casting anime characters is hard.)
@roadsidebrambles @fighting-these-demons
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rothjuje · 10 months
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George starts summer school tomorrow and I’m nervous. He actually loves to go “bye byes” so he’ll be fine once there and probably won’t want to leave, and he’ll be happy once I come and get him, but if he doesn’t have fun tomorrow he will panic at drop off Thursday. I hate that they do summer school at the elementary school instead of the preschool. It will be an entirely new campus and teacher and therapists. I know he’ll be fine but I hate that I can’t really prepare him and he won’t be able to tell me how it goes.
He is starting to talk in little chunks though. He calls me mommy and refers to himself as Georgie, has learned the word no and uses it often, is starting to request snacks by name. The other night he handed me his toothbrush and said “brush your teeth!” Scripting because that’s what I say to him but still meaningful speech because he had tooth brush in hand and was making a request. It was very cute.
It’s rained constantly and everything is soaked. Instead of keeping the whiney kids inside yet another day, I had a brilliant idea. I would put sensory kid that cannot handle wet clothes in a snow bib. Worked like a charm. They stayed dry, had a blast playing in the mud, and looked like a cute little farmer. I’m sure they make waterproof overalls, I need to look into that.
Speaking of the rain, I slide down the front steps a few days ago and broke my tailbone. I have bruising on both sides and it hurts to sit. Such bad timing with the intense amount of yard work that needs to get done. Falling down stairs is pretty unsettling, my fault for wearing shoes with no tread in a downpour, but also our stairs are much too steep and this is my 4th fall down them, first fall that resulted in injury though. Ouch.
We moved the 400 pound chicken coop with no help yesterday. It was quite the project. First Justin used a car jack with extensions to lift coop enough to slide a wood board under, then he repeated on the other side. Then he tied a winch to a tree and shoved then tightened, then shoved then tightened etc. It is now in its final place. You can still see it from the street but it looks much better. He put rebar at the corners of where the run will be and I’m pretty dang excited. Run will be built Saturday, roof will go on Sunday.
Our yard is trashed from the excavation. We are so confused by how rocky the soil is here. It’s more rocks than dirt! Is this a New England thing? In northern CA the dirt was hard with little pebbles but still mainly dirt. In TX the dirt was more sand than dirt, very soft and the kids loved to play with it. Here the dirt is very hard, almost like clay with tons of small rocks and bigger rocks and occasionally a boulder. It makes for a very strenuous and tedious cleanup. Also, I have to dig out the bottom of the chicken run to put down hardware cloth and I dug for an hour today and barely made a dent. At least it’s a good work out.
We didn’t do much today, other than Justin cooking a lot which is pretty much our tradition for any holiday. Fourth of July is weird. Feels icky to celebrate usually, but it’s a big thing out here. I always get kind of sad on July 4th because that was the last day I saw my sister alive. 15 years ago today. It doesn’t feel like it’s been 15 years, but I guess it has. I once had a friend tell me it’s too much to get sad on the 4th of July, and then again on the 23rd of July (her accident), and then again on October 26th (her birthday) but they are big days to me and I can’t help but feel sad. Trauma sticks in your head in a different way. The memories much more vivid, reverberating.
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13-reasons-ideas · 1 year
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Can’t Go Back Part 24
A/N: Guess who’s back! Thank you for sticking with me. It’s been a rough several months and I think things are finally getting to a point where I can focus on my hobbies again. As always, feedback is appreciated and Character Q&As are open. Much Love -Em
I had finished the last book on my To Read shelf by mid-May. Hopping off my bed, I went over to my bookshelf. There was only one shelf of space left. The stack to shelve had gotten a tad out of hand. Sighing to myself, I sat down to start reorganizing. I pulled the books from H to Z down to fit the new additions to my collection in. My dad poked his head in when the stack fell over.
“Everything okay in here?” I was surrounded by books. Dad tried not to laugh as he took the scene in. Grabbing books, I turned back to the shelf.
“Perfect. Totally meant to sit in a sea of books this afternoon.”
“Sure. You have fun with that. I have to head into the office for a while. Tell your mother I probably won’t be home for dinner.”
“Will do.” I nodded, not turning my attention back to him.
Monty texted me shortly after I had finished the M’s. What are you up to today?
Organizing my bookshelf. I finished my TBR so now they go in the permanent collection.
Only my girlfriend would make a permanent book collection and a separate section for books that aren’t done.
Hey! Lots of people do this.
Yes honey.
What are you up to today?
Trying to study for my last History test. It’s very boring.
I’m sure it is. If you’re free Saturday, how about a get out of studying free card?
Oh? What did you have in mind Doll? I rolled my eyes and grinned. Of course he thought I meant something dirty.
Cool your jets Monty. I was going to see if you wanted to go to the bookstore with me?
I can make that happen. What time?
I think Clay and I are getting lunch to go over our study guide for the Math final. I could do like 1?
Sounds good. Do you want me to meet you at the bookstore?
Sure. I go to the B&N at the Everglade.
It’s a date.
I smiled and went back to my books.
When it was done, I snapped a picture and sent it to Justin. I finished my TBR! You know what that means?
Oh no. More books?
More books!
Do I have to come with you?
No. The parents gave me a limit of 10 books this time.
Only 10?
I have points saved up. And 10 is a perfectly reasonable amount of new books.
For you? Yes. For normal people? No.
Oh shhh, or I’ll make you come with me.
Okay, okay. It’s reasonable lol. I texted Monty a picture of my bookshelf too. He responded with a laughing emoji.
Teachers were beginning to wrap up final units and hand out study guides for finals. Justin was still mad about summer school so he kept up his not giving a shit attitude. I rolled my eyes whenever he sighed or complained about finals. And I stopped offering to help him. If he wanted to do more work in summer school, that was fine by me. It gave me more time to spend with Monty.
On Saturday, I met Clay at Rosie’s and we both got milkshakes. I wasn’t very hungry, and I didn’t want burger breath later. “So Clay, how’s Hannah doing?”
“I don’t know. We have hung out a few times, and I see her at work, but I don’t think we have hung out hung out.”
“You still haven’t asked her out?”
“I mean, we went to Jeff’s place not together, but we were both there, and I feel like maybe we connected?”
“Connected?”
“Well, we were doing… stuff… and we talked.” My eyes widened.
“Clay Jensen did you do drugs in Jeff’s basement?”
“Maybe?” I was stunned.
“Well, I’ll be damned. Clay Jensen, having fun. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Ha ha.” He joked.
“I’m kidding! But seriously. Take the risk Clay.”
“I’ll think about it. Can we look at this study guide now?” I sighed and pulled it out of my bag. We both shuddered. This is not going to be a pretty exam.
By the time Clay and I called it an afternoon, it was 12:30. That gave me just enough time to get to the city. We packed our notes and headed outside. “Man, I really need a car.” Clay sighed, unlocking his bike.
“Your parents said no?”
“I have a bike.” He waved towards the bike.
“That you do. I would offer you a ride, but I’m headed into the city for the afternoon.”
“No worries, Addy.” He smiled. We waved goodbye and I watched as he biked down the street. I started my car and texted Monty. Leaving Rosie’s now. Might be a little late. Drive safe.
Sounds good, drive safe Doll.
I stopped at Starbucks when I got to the mall and got an iced coffee to sip while I browse and a coffee for Montgomery. He was waiting outside Barnes & Noble for me. “Hey handsome. Fancy seeing you here.” I winked as I walked up to him.
“Hey gorgeous. What can I say, thought it would be a good way to find a girl. You know what they say about the readers.”
“I have a feeling I do.” I laughed and handed him his coffee. “Something to do with being high strung, overachievers with daddy issues?”
“Somethin’ like that.” Monty took my hand and let me lead him into the bookstore. I decided I would keep my ten-book limit to myself. I knew how many points I had, and I still had birthday money left from last year.
He chuckled as I practically dragged him towards the YA section. I didn’t stop to look at the romance displays or the cookbooks or the journals. I was on a mission. There were books to buy. I sipped my coffee as I browsed. As usual, I made my way up and down the aisles quickly once to see if anything immediately caught my eye. A couple of books did, so I grabbed them to look over after I was done my power walk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you move that fast.”
“Ass.” I laughed as I read over the synopsizes of the two books. Neither of them was my cup of tea in the end, so I decided to put them back. I could feel Montgomery watching me as I looked at the shelves. “What?” I asked as I pulled a book down and skimmed the back.
“Nothin’. You’re just cute is all.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. And those shorts are very nice.” I blushed and smiled softly.
“Thanks.” I handed him the book.
“Oh, I see. You needed someone to carry the books.”
“Well, who else would I have asked, when I have my strong, athletic boyfriend to follow me around the store?” He only laughed in response. I grabbed a few more books as I sipped at my coffee. Once in a while, I would notice him watching me and turn to smile at him.
There were six books in Monty’s hands before he finished his coffee. “I’m going to throw this out. Try to leave some books for the next person, okay Bookworm?”
“I’ll try. No promises though.” I mused. By the time he came back, I had three more books. I looked up when I heard him laugh. I grinned at him and held out the books. He took them, tucked them under his arm, and stepped towards me. My brow furrowed and he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup the back of my neck, and pull me towards him to kiss me. I kissed him back softly. It was nice to be able to kiss in public. I liked our little bubble. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. He pulled away first.
We continued to peruse the store for a while and stole kisses and glances along the way. Monty slid his hand in my back pocket as we walked. I grabbed another couple of books and sighed. “What’s up?”
“I guess that’s enough books for a little while.”
“For a little while? Addison. There’s like,” he paused to count, “sixteen books here.”
“Yeah. And that isn’t even all of what is on my TBR still. And it’s buy one get one half off all books.” I shrugged.
“Jesus. Crazy woman.” He muttered softly and kissed the side of my head. I sighed and turned to head for the till. After discounts, points, and birthday money, my total was twenty-five dollars.
“Now to figure out how to sneak the extra six books into the house.” I muttered as we left.
“The extra what whats?”
“Uh… nothing.” I smiled sheepishly. He shook his head playfully. “Oh, hey. Pretzels. Split one?”
“Nice change of subject. Sure. Pretzel sounds good.” He rubbed my hand as he held it. This is nice.
In late June, just as finals week was hitting its peak, tragedy struck our little group of jocks. The boys were at Bryce’s trying to blow off some steam. I was trying to be nice to him and make an effort for Justin, so I tagged along. The way his family approached and flaunted their money always took me by surprise. I wasn’t oblivious. I knew my family had more money than most. More than I liked to consider or admit. But it was never flashed around the way it was with the Walkers. I came from old money on my dad’s side, like his mom. But unlike him, I wasn’t exposed to it on a daily basis. The concept of a twice a week maid was enough to widen my eyes. The only time my family had a maid come was when Gran was coming to stay with us, or we were hosting Christmas back when all my grandparents lived state-side, so a very deep clean was needed. The fact that they had a chef come in once a week to meal prep for them was… almost incomprehensible. The only time I met a chef was when I found a hair in my food when my family went out one night.
I had been to his house before of course. I was friends with Justin. We shared custody of him most weeks. Even still, I found myself hanging back and watching the boys socialize. Or I was trying to at least. Bryce thrusting a bottle of water in my hand startled me. I jumped slightly. “Thanks.” I muttered.
“Don’t mention it.” He chuckled. He settled himself next to me and leaned back against the counter.
“Hi.”
“Hi. You know that they will talk to you, right? They know you.”
“I know.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” Great. Just what I want.
“Sure Bryce.”
“How are finals treating you?”
“I cried before my honours English final yesterday.”
“I almost forgot about my math final.”
“So, we are basically in the same boat.”
“Basically. You had bio and history today?”
“Yeah.”
“How were they?”
“I think I did fairly okay. Can you imagine what my mum would do if I bombed the history final?” He stared off into space with me and shivered.
“I would say something nice about you at your funeral.”
“Thanks Walker. Killing me does seem like a lot of hassle for that though. Like it seems like it would just inconvenience them. Maybe locked in my room to study until I’m forty?”
“True. I would text you news updates. Keep you updated in all things Bryce and the boys.”
“Prefect. Make isolation at least a little bit bearable.” He was actually kind of nice sometimes. Maybe. If I squinted.
“Yeah. My dad would have freaked if I missed my math final.”
“How could you take over the family business if you fail tenth grade math Bryce?”
“No idea. Not like he doesn’t pay someone to do all that math for him. Speaking of, he wanted me to ask you if your dad is taking on any new clients now that tax season is winding down?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think he is, but I can get him to email your dad.” I don’t think he’s going to take your dad on.
“I’ll let him know.”
“Where are you off to this summer?”
“I think we are summering in Fiji?”
“Because California isn’t summer-y enough?”
“Mom thinks the sun feels different. More sunny. I tan better in tropical environments.”
“Sure, you do.”
“What are your family’s plans?”
“We have our annual family trip to Boston at the end of July into the first week of August. Dad pushed his vacation time this year.”
“Doesn’t he own the company?”
“Yeah. But his associate wanted to take vacation in mid-July. She’s taking her kids to Disney World.”
“Again, doesn’t he own the company?”
“Again, yes. Why?”
“Shouldn’t he get first pick?”
“Well, our vacation basically costs us airfare, food, and spending money. Hers and everyone else’s costs a lot more. And requires more planning. So, he lets them have first pick and takes whatever’s left for the most part. Because of that, people are more willing to pick fairly.”
“Interesting.”
“Are you two going to come outside or not?” Justin called from the back yard. Bryce and I looked up and found the house empty. All the boys had moved to the back. We shrugged and joined them. I needed to pass the sniff test so I didn’t dare go in the pool house. Anders and Dylan were in the pool house enjoying Bryce’s stash. It was already nearing eighty degrees in the daytime. We were in for a hot summer. Justin pulled off his shirt, dropped his pants, and jumped in the pool. Shaking my head, I followed Bryce outside.
I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in the water. Monty was trying to be discreet and swim backwards towards me. He stopped just shy of me and shared a look with Zach. I pretended not to notice. It looked like I was busy watching Justin goof off with Bryce and Garrison. I was watching my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye though. I felt a wave close to my foot. “Montgomery. If you touch my foot, I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.” His hand stopped and his eyes widened. Justin laughed and called from across the pool.
“She isn’t wrong dude. She kicked me in the face when I was trying to bug her one time.”
“I wasn’t going to….” Monty trailed off.
“Sure, you weren’t.” I shook my head and moved to stand up. I pulled my tank top over my head. The shorts I was wearing were fine to go in the water.
Seeing as we had to keep up appearances, I couldn’t very well ask Monty to tighten the tie on my bikini top. That would be too much. The boys would question that. Joking around and talking to each other in a group was okay. Touching was not. “Hey Justin, do you mind?” I gestured to my back, not looking at the pool.
“He’s a little busy.” Bryce said. I could hear splashing behind me.
“Zach?”
“Sure.” He climbed out of the pool and untied the bottom strings. He pulled them tighter in a knot and doubled the bow. “Good?”
“Yeah.” I turned around. “Thanks.” Bryce whistled. Gross.
“Why are you keeping her all to yourself again?” He asked Justin. I flipped him off. Why am I being nice to you again?
“I’m not. It’s Addison. Even if I was, I don’t share Bryce.” He seemed to shut the conversation down. Only I could pick up on the stern undertone in his voice. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and they were back to goofing off again.
I slipped in the pool and noticing Justin was distracted, I swam over to him and jumped on his back. I may have accidentally splashed Monty in my jumping. I snuck a peek at him and he was rolling his eyes and laughing. “Chicken?” Justin asked. His hands went to my thighs unconsciously.
“No. You dropped me last time. Though it would be entertaining trying to watch the rest of you lift each other.”
“We’re strong.” The boys around me protested. They all made a show of flexing.
“Yes, yes. You’re all strong and hot. With superior athletic abilities. Go you.” I laughed.
“Ha! I told you she thinks I’m hot.” Bryce pointed at Justin.
“It doesn’t count if you’re objectively attractive Walker. I also think the blond guy from the Percy Jackson movie is hot. Because he is objectively attractive.”
“Objectively attractive?”
“You’re lucky you’re rich.” I muttered. Justin choked. “You’re a very pretty man Bryce Walker.”
“Do we get called pretty too Addison?” Monty asked.
“If you don’t call me by my full name again then sure Monty. You are also pretty. Foley, I swear if you drop me, you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” His hand tightened around my thigh.
The group of us hung out for a while. At some point Scott joined us. Even though we weren’t friends per say, he was still nice to me when I was around. He swam over to my corner of the pool. “I’m supposed to ask you if you think I’m pretty?”
“Scott. If you don’t know you’re pretty, I don’t know what to say to you.”
“Alright then. Why was I supposed to ask?”
“I acknowledged Bryce is objectively attractive and the children felt left out.”
“I see. Why are you hiding in a corner?”
“Hiding from Justin. He’s trying to get me to play chicken. But I don’t feel like getting dropped again.”
“And why does he think you’d get to play with anyone else?”
“I think the attempt would be very entertaining actually.” There was a ringing over by the table.
“Someone’s phone is ringing.” I called. The ringing stopped and started again immediately. Zach looked up. It was his phone.
“It’s probably his mommy calling to tell him he has to come home before it gets dark.” Bryce teased. The boys laughed. I even chuckled a little to myself. Oh, how bad I would feel about that chuckle in a few hours. Zach splashed him. By the time the phone began its second round of ringing again, Zach was out of the pool and grabbing it. He was smiling when he answered it.
“Hey Mom. I’m com-.” It was quiet. “Yeah, I’ll be right home.” He hung up and quickly pulled on his pants, over his wet swim trucks. He threw on his shirt and practically sprinted back in the house. He didn’t say a word to any of us as he left.
“What’s going on with him?” Bryce said. We all stared after him.
A few hours after I got home, I got a text from Bryce. Justin got the same text. Zach’s dad died. Justin and I sat and looked at each other at the table, shocked. We sat there for a solid ten minutes, trying to absorb the information we had been given. I was sure our friends were in the same position. How did you respond to something like that? None of us had ever lost a parent. Sure, I had lost a couple of grandparents. I probably wasn’t the only one. But they’re sort of expected to die. They’re old. They’ve lived. Our parents weren’t old. Not old enough to die yet anyway. I picked my phone back up and texted Zach the only thing I could think to say. He would hear the words a lot in the next few months. I am so sorry. I knew he wouldn’t answer.
Zach wasn’t at school for the rest of the week. Not that he should have been. He had been excused from all of his other exams. Because of course he should have been. I didn’t see him until I was walking home from a date with Monty over the weekend. He was just… walking around town. He didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me standing up the street, he waved a little. I waved back and slowly walked over to him. Even though Zach Dempsey and I weren’t really friends, we were friendly. That’s why it didn’t feel weird when the only thing my brain said to do, was hug him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything. He just hugged me back. We didn’t talk about that random, silent hug on the street again. Not for a long time at least. We simply nodded as we parted ways. He walked one way and I walked the other.
July changed a lot of things. Bryce left town with his family a few days after Zach’s dad’s funeral. Seth was back in town too. That meant Justin spent most of the first couple of weeks of July at my house. He was right. My parents were not happy about him doing summer school. As his not-mom my mum had a strict ‘no fun until homework is done and checked’ rule. At first, I spent my time with Monty during school hours. We weren’t really sure what the summer meant for our relationship. Those first few dates, we mostly talked about that.
“Well, I don’t want to not see you.” Monty said, between kisses in the backseat of my car. We had parked at a secluded clearing overlooking the river.
“I don’t want to not see you either. It’s going to be hard though.”
“Don’t talk about hard right now Doll. Please.” I pulled away and looked at him wide-eyed. “You don’t strike me as a public sex kind of girl. And I don’t want to get a public indecency charge.”
“Yeah. I’m not.” I sat up. “Justin being at my place complicates things.”
“Oh, I know.” He ground out as he adjusted his jeans. I could tell my cheeks were flushed.
“We knew we couldn’t see each other every day.”
“But it’s not easy not seeing you.”
“I know it’s not.”
“Why does this have to be so hard?” He sat back.
“I don’t know.” Neither of us were ready nor willing to have the ‘tell other people’ talk. Even though it had been almost a year. And probably needed to happen.
“Seeing each other while school is in, isn’t such a bad thing, is it?”
“No.”
“And I do have other friends. I could say I’m going to the city with Alex or something. Give us some more time?”
“That’s true.”
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I could take you to the bookstore.” He blinked at me. “What?”
“The bookstore?”
“It’s air conditioned.” I shrugged and climbed into his lap. His hands instinctively found their way to my hips.
“You just need someone to carry your books again.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I smirked.
There was something different about Justin since he started summer school. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was… distracted. I noticed he spent more time on his phone after homework than paying attention to what we were doing. Which was fine when it was show re-runs or my mom’s pick for movie night. But when you’re trying to play Ticket to Ride with a guy, it’s much easier when they are paying attention. “Hey. Earth to Justin. Hello?”
“Huh?” He looked up from his phone.
“It’s been your turn for the past five minutes.”
“Shit, sorry.” He looked at his cards and the map. Picking up a red and a pink from the pile, he settled back in his chair. Interesting. I frowned at the board, trying to figure out what he was doing. I came back with nothing. His phone buzzed again. I glanced at it. So did he. Then my phone buzzed. He glanced at it. So, did I. It was like we were waiting to see who would grab their phone first. After a few beats, his hand went to his phone. He smirked a little and put it down. I didn’t check mine.
I came home from a date with Monty a little late on Thursday. It was nearing five when I walked in the door, after I fixed my hair. I dropped my purse and stopped dead in my tracks. Justin had company. Company in the form of Jessica Davis. Who was currently sitting in his lap. On my couch. Making out with him. On my couch. They had their hands up each other’s shirts. On my couch. I cleared my throat. Jessica pulled away and turned towards me. “Oh, hey Addy.” She greeted, like this was normal.
“Hey Addy. You’re… just getting home?” His speech was slowed. Are you shitting me?
“Yeah. What’s going on?”
“Your parents said I could have a friend over after class.”
“Okay.” I blinked. She was still perched in his lap. I glanced at the clock. “I suggest you fix your shirts because they should be home soon. And I don’t think they want to see, uh, this.” I motioned in their general direction. Jessica laughed and climbed off Justin.
“Oh, don’t be such a priss, Addison.”
“I’m not being a priss. I just wasn’t expecting to come home to people making out on my couch.” She rolled her eyes. “Great to see you too. Hey, Justin. Can I steal you for a sec?” I waved upstairs. “There’s snacks in the cupboard, Jess.”
Justin followed me upstairs, trying not to giggle at, assumingly, the fact that he didn’t get caught by my parents. I shut the door when we got to my room. “What the fuck Justin?”
“What?” He shrugged.
“What do you mean what?”
“What?”
“Making out with a girl on our couch?” He was trying to avoid eye contact. My parents are going to kill him.
“No one was home. It’s not a big deal.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“I don’t know, a couple weeks?” I blinked at him. He was still trying to look away from me. I grabbed his face and made him look at me.
“Are you fucking high right now?”
“No? What? Why would you ask that?” His eyes were bloodshot. He was acting very much like Justin when Justin has been indulging in Bryce’s stash.
“Don’t lie to me Justin Foley. You know my parent’s rules. Do you want them to freak out?”
“Oh, come on Addison. It was a little weed. It’s not that big of a deal.” I sighed heavily.
“You know what, whatever. You obviously don’t care. So, I suggest you tell your girlfriend to leave or figure out a way to sober up before they get home. And if that fails, tell her to leave, and come hide in here until you’re sober enough to face them.” I grabbed a book off my shelf and went back downstairs. I nodded at Jessica, who had made herself some crackers and dip. Sitting at the table, I texted Monty.
Justin and Jessica? Did you know about this? He responded a couple of minutes later.
No? Actually?
Yeah. They were making out on my couch when I got home. And to make things even more awkward and complicated, they’re both high.
I mean, to be fair, weed isn’t really that bad.
Yeah. I know. But that’s not the point. My parents are going to freak. Now is really not the time to be pissing them off.
Oh crap. You guys leave for Boston soon, don’t you?
Next week. And if Justin can’t keep his shit together… I left the unspoken implication hang in cyberspace. Are you really just going to ignore the fact that they were on the couch?
I was hoping to just ignore that fact.
Our make out spots are becoming fewer and further between.
We could just stay in your bed, Doll.
But the couch has the TV. So we can not watch a movie without worrying about my laptop falling.
“Who you texting so much?” Jessica asked, trying to peer at my phone.
“Friend from Boston.” I said, locking my phone.
“Oh, friend from Boston, you say? Is he cute?”
“I guess? His girlfriend probably thinks so.”
“Oh. Not a secret long distance lover then?”
“No. And we grew up together. It would be weird.” I slipped my phone in my pocket and grabbed some cereal. We both looked up when my parents got home. I took that as my cue to go get Justin. I practically kicked him downstairs so he could go entertain his girlfriend with my parents and I could have some time to process how I missed it. Probably the same way he has missed me having a boyfriend for… almost a year.
The day before we left for Boston, Justin and I were running around like mad men. I had plans with Monty and Justin had plans with Jessica tonight, so I didn’t want to be too long packing. Unfortunately, neither of us could find anything we wanted to bring. It was going to be nice so I wanted to bring some dresses. We had a few things planned, but like with our other trips, there would be plenty of time to lounge around the house.
“Have you seen my pink and green dress?”
“The one with the stripes? No. Have you seen my blue shirt?”
“I think mum put it in the wash.”
“Okay.” Justin went down the hall to the bathroom. “Has anyone seen my shampoo?” He called.
“It’s in here.” My dad called from their room. I was busy ripping apart my closet. I groaned in frustration.
“You know, it’s just Boston. We go every year.”
“I know Justin. I just like to be prepared for every eventuality.”
“Yeah. Wait… are you trying to impress Adrian?” Justin laughed. I turned and he was leaning against the doorframe.
“No. Absolutely not. Besides, he has a girlfriend.” A girlfriend I happen to like.
“If you say so.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off as he went back to packing his bag. I gave up on my closet and decided to tackle our toiletries. I wasn’t too concerned with travel sizes because it was all going in my checked luggage.
“Decide what book you’re taking with you Addy?”
“Don’t you mean books, plural? It is a 6-hour flight after all.” He laughed.
“Okay, okay. Books?”
“I’m happy you asked.” I grinned as I pulled out the Barnes & Noble bag from under my bed. His jaw dropped. I shrugged.
“Your parents are going to freak.”
“They know I went book shopping.”
After a very long day of packing, Justin left to go meet Jessica. I texted Monty to let him know I would be leaving in about fifteen minutes. “I’m going to hang out with Alex and Clay for a bit.” I told my parents.
“Just remember we leave early tomorrow for the airport Addison.” My dad said, not looking up from his list. My mom was emptying the fridge.
“I will.”
When I got to the cliffside where we agreed to meet, Monty was waiting for me. I couldn’t help myself. I ran and held onto him like it was the last time I would ever see him. “You’re only leaving for two weeks Addison.” He grunted at the impact.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” He kissed the top of my head. We stood like that for a few more minutes before finally separating. I took his hand and led him up the trail. It was good for both of us to be walking the trails. He was starting summer training with the boys while we were gone, and I was going to be sitting for around 8 hours straight tomorrow. Provided our flight wasn’t delayed, of course. It was just starting to get dark, and I stopped along the way to take in the town’s skyline in the evening dusk. Monty rested his chin on top of my head, and I sighed, leaning back into him. It was so peaceful. I looked up and him and noticed a small bruise forming on his jaw. Not wanting to start a fight right before I left for two weeks, I pretended I hadn’t seen it. I smiled sadly to myself still. I wish he would just talk to me about it.
After a few hours, wandering around and soaking in the last time we would have for a couple of weeks, which feels like an eternity when you’re 16, we knew it was time to say goodbye. When we got to the parking lot, he made me turn around at his Jeep. I furrowed my brow. Before I could ask, he twirled his finger in the air. I clamped my mouth closed and turned. He rummaged around for a minute. “What are you doing?”
“You’ll see. Just wait a minute.” I huffed. He chuckled. “Ah.” He muttered. He tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. He held out a small Barnes and Noble bag. I was taken aback. I wasn’t expecting anything. I pointed at the bag and then at me.
“F-for me?”
“It’s not much so don’t start.” He smiled, shyly.
“Okay.” I took the bag.
“I can’t wrap stuff worth shit, so the bag is as good as you’re going to get.” I laughed and shrugged. It was a fair enough explanation. I opened the bag and pulled out a spiralbound notebook. The cover was pink with the titles of all the classics on it. I smiled. “You won’t be here for your birthday, and I know your notebook is getting full so….” Monty trailed off.
“Thank you. This is really sweet.” I flipped it open and gasped. On the first page, he had drawn a book like on the cover, and titled it The Next Classic and written Hawthorne at the bottom where the author’s last name sometimes appears.
“Happy birthday, Addison.”
“Oh.” I smiled. My eyes had started to tear up. This was the sweetest gift anyone had ever given me. I closed the gap between us and kissed him. He pulled me closer to him and I deepened the kiss just a little. Not too much, just enough to make him remember me while I was gone.I had finished the last book on my To Read shelf by mid-May. Hopping off my bed, I went over to my bookshelf. There was only one shelf of space left. The stack to shelve had gotten a tad out of hand. Sighing to myself, I sat down to start reorganizing. I pulled the books from H to Z down to fit the new additions to my collection in. My dad poked his head in when the stack fell over. “Everything okay in here?” I was surrounded by books. Dad tried not to laugh as he took the scene in. Grabbing books, I turned back to the shelf.“Perfect. Totally meant to sit in a sea of books this afternoon.” “Sure. You have fun with that. I have to head into the office for a while. Tell your mother I probably won’t be home for dinner.” “Will do.” I nodded, not turning my attention back to him. Monty texted me shortly after I had finished the M’s. What are you up to today? Organizing my bookshelf. I finished my TBR so now they go in the permanent collection. Only my girlfriend would make a permanent book collection and a separate section for books that aren’t done. Hey! Lots of people do this. Yes honey. What are you up to today? Trying to study for my last History test. It’s very boring. I’m sure it is. If you’re free Saturday, how about a get out of studying free card? Oh? What did you have in mind Doll? I rolled my eyes and grinned. Of course he thought I meant something dirty. Cool your jets Monty. I was going to see if you wanted to go to the bookstore with me?I can make that happen. What time? I think Clay and I are getting lunch to go over our study guide for the Math final. I could do like 1?Sounds good. Do you want me to meet you at the bookstore? Sure. I go to the B&N at the Everglade. It’s a date. I smiled and went back to my books. When it was done, I snapped a picture and sent it to Justin. I finished my TBR! You know what that means?Oh no. More books? More books! Do I have to come with you?No. The parents gave me a limit of 10 books this time. Only 10?I have points saved up. And 10 is a perfectly reasonable amount of new books. For you? Yes. For normal people? No. Oh shhh, or I’ll make you come with me. Okay, okay. It’s reasonable lol. I texted Monty a picture of my bookshelf too. He responded with a laughing emoji. Teachers were beginning to wrap up final units and hand out study guides for finals. Justin was still mad about summer school so he kept up his not giving a shit attitude. I rolled my eyes whenever he sighed or complained about finals. And I stopped offering to help him. If he wanted to do more work in summer school, that was fine by me. It gave me more time to spend with Monty. On Saturday, I met Clay at Rosie’s and we both got milkshakes. I wasn’t very hungry, and I didn’t want burger breath later. “So Clay, how’s Hannah doing?” “I don’t know. We have hung out a few times, and I see her at work, but I don’t think we have hung out hung out.” “You still haven’t asked her out?” “I mean, we went to Jeff’s place not together, but we were both there, and I feel like maybe we connected?” “Connected?” “Well, we were doing… stuff… and we talked.” My eyes widened. “Clay Jensen did you do drugs in Jeff’s basement?” “Maybe?” I was stunned. “Well, I’ll be damned. Clay Jensen, having fun. I never thought I’d see the day.”“Ha ha.” He joked. “I’m kidding! But seriously. Take the risk Clay.” “I’ll think about it. Can we look at this study guide now?” I sighed and pulled it out of my bag. We both shuddered. This is not going to be a pretty exam.By the time Clay and I called it an afternoon, it was 12:30. That gave me just enough time to get to the city. We packed our notes and headed outside. “Man, I really need a car.” Clay sighed, unlocking his bike. “Your parents said no?” “I have a bike.” He waved towards the bike. “That you do. I would offer you a ride, but I’m headed into the city for the afternoon.” “No worries, Addy.” He smiled. We waved goodbye and I watched as he biked down the street. I started my car and texted Monty. Leaving Rosie’s now. Might be a little late. Drive safe. Sounds good, drive safe Doll. I stopped at Starbucks when I got to the mall and got an iced coffee to sip while I browse and a coffee for Montgomery. He was waiting outside Barnes & Noble for me. “Hey handsome. Fancy seeing you here.” I winked as I walked up to him.“Hey gorgeous. What can I say, thought it would be a good way to find a girl. You know what they say about the readers.” “I have a feeling I do.” I laughed and handed him his coffee. “Something to do with being high strung, overachievers with daddy issues?” “Somethin’ like that.” Monty took my hand and let me lead him into the bookstore. I decided I would keep my ten-book limit to myself. I knew how many points I had, and I still had birthday money left from last year. He chuckled as I practically dragged him towards the YA section. I didn’t stop to look at the romance displays or the cookbooks or the journals. I was on a mission. There were books to buy. I sipped my coffee as I browsed. As usual, I made my way up and down the aisles quickly once to see if anything immediately caught my eye. A couple of books did, so I grabbed them to look over after I was done my power walk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you move that fast.” “Ass.” I laughed as I read over the synopsizes of the two books. Neither of them was my cup of tea in the end, so I decided to put them back. I could feel Montgomery watching me as I looked at the shelves. “What?” I asked as I pulled a book down and skimmed the back. “Nothin’. You’re just cute is all.” “Oh?” “Yeah. And those shorts are very nice.” I blushed and smiled softly. “Thanks.” I handed him the book. “Oh, I see. You needed someone to carry the books.”“Well, who else would I have asked, when I have my strong, athletic boyfriend to follow me around the store?” He only laughed in response. I grabbed a few more books as I sipped at my coffee. Once in a while, I would notice him watching me and turn to smile at him. There were six books in Monty’s hands before he finished his coffee. “I’m going to throw this out. Try to leave some books for the next person, okay Bookworm?” “I’ll try. No promises though.” I mused. By the time he came back, I had three more books. I looked up when I heard him laugh. I grinned at him and held out the books. He took them, tucked them under his arm, and stepped towards me. My brow furrowed and he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup the back of my neck, and pull me towards him to kiss me. I kissed him back softly. It was nice to be able to kiss in public. I liked our little bubble. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. He pulled away first. We continued to peruse the store for a while and stole kisses and glances along the way. Monty slid his hand in my back pocket as we walked. I grabbed another couple of books and sighed. “What’s up?” “I guess that’s enough books for a little while.” “For a little while? Addison. There’s like,” he paused to count, “sixteen books here.” “Yeah. And that isn’t even all of what is on my TBR still. And it’s buy one get one half off all books.” I shrugged. “Jesus. Crazy woman.” He muttered softly and kissed the side of my head. I sighed and turned to head for the till. After discounts, points, and birthday money, my total was twenty-five dollars. “Now to figure out how to sneak the extra six books into the house.” I muttered as we left. “The extra what whats?” “Uh… nothing.” I smiled sheepishly. He shook his head playfully. “Oh, hey. Pretzels. Split one?” “Nice change of subject. Sure. Pretzel sounds good.” He rubbed my hand as he held it. This is nice. In late June, just as finals week was hitting its peak, tragedy struck our little group of jocks. The boys were at Bryce’s trying to blow off some steam. I was trying to be nice to him and make an effort for Justin, so I tagged along. The way his family approached and flaunted their money always took me by surprise. I wasn’t oblivious. I knew my family had more money than most. More than I liked to consider or admit. But it was never flashed around the way it was with the Walkers. I came from old money on my dad’s side, like his mom. But unlike him, I wasn’t exposed to it on a daily basis. The concept of a twice a week maid was enough to widen my eyes. The only time my family had a maid come was when Gran was coming to stay with us, or we were hosting Christmas back when all my grandparents lived state-side, so a very deep clean was needed. The fact that they had a chef come in once a week to meal prep for them was… almost incomprehensible. The only time I met a chef was when I found a hair in my food when my family went out one night. I had been to his house before of course. I was friends with Justin. We shared custody of him most weeks. Even still, I found myself hanging back and watching the boys socialize. Or I was trying to at least. Bryce thrusting a bottle of water in my hand startled me. I jumped slightly. “Thanks.” I muttered. “Don’t mention it.” He chuckled. He settled himself next to me and leaned back against the counter. “Hi.” “Hi. You know that they will talk to you, right? They know you.” “I know.” “Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” Great. Just what I want. “Sure Bryce.” “How are finals treating you?” “I cried before my honours English final yesterday.” “I almost forgot about my math final.” “So, we are basically in the same boat.” “Basically. You had bio and history today?” “Yeah.” “How were they?” “I think I did fairly okay. Can you imagine what my mum would do if I bombed the history final?” He stared off into space with me and shivered. “I would say something nice about you at your funeral.” “Thanks Walker. Killing me does seem like a lot of hassle for that though. Like it seems like it would just inconvenience them. Maybe locked in my room to study until I’m forty?” “True. I would text you news updates. Keep you updated in all things Bryce and the boys.” “Prefect. Make isolation at least a little bit bearable.” He was actually kind of nice sometimes. Maybe. If I squinted.“Yeah. My dad would have freaked if I missed my math final.” “How could you take over the family business if you fail tenth grade math Bryce?” “No idea. Not like he doesn’t pay someone to do all that math for him. Speaking of, he wanted me to ask you if your dad is taking on any new clients now that tax season is winding down?” “I don’t know. I don’t think he is, but I can get him to email your dad.” I don’t think he’s going to take your dad on. “I’ll let him know.” “Where are you off to this summer?” “I think we are summering in Fiji?” “Because California isn’t summer-y enough?” “Mom thinks the sun feels different. More sunny. I tan better in tropical environments.” “Sure, you do.”“What are your family’s plans?” “We have our annual family trip to Boston at the end of July into the first week of August. Dad pushed his vacation time this year.” “Doesn’t he own the company?” “Yeah. But his associate wanted to take vacation in mid-July. She’s taking her kids to Disney World.” “Again, doesn’t he own the company?”“Again, yes. Why?” “Shouldn’t he get first pick?” “Well, our vacation basically costs us airfare, food, and spending money. Hers and everyone else’s costs a lot more. And requires more planning. So, he lets them have first pick and takes whatever’s left for the most part. Because of that, people are more willing to pick fairly.” “Interesting.”“Are you two going to come outside or not?” Justin called from the back yard. Bryce and I looked up and found the house empty. All the boys had moved to the back. We shrugged and joined them. I needed to pass the sniff test so I didn’t dare go in the pool house. Anders and Dylan were in the pool house enjoying Bryce’s stash. It was already nearing eighty degrees in the daytime. We were in for a hot summer. Justin pulled off his shirt, dropped his pants, and jumped in the pool. Shaking my head, I followed Bryce outside. I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in the water. Monty was trying to be discreet and swim backwards towards me. He stopped just shy of me and shared a look with Zach. I pretended not to notice. It looked like I was busy watching Justin goof off with Bryce and Garrison. I was watching my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye though. I felt a wave close to my foot. “Montgomery. If you touch my foot, I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.” His hand stopped and his eyes widened. Justin laughed and called from across the pool. “She isn’t wrong dude. She kicked me in the face when I was trying to bug her one time.” “I wasn’t going to….” Monty trailed off. “Sure, you weren’t.” I shook my head and moved to stand up. I pulled my tank top over my head. The shorts I was wearing were fine to go in the water. Seeing as we had to keep up appearances, I couldn’t very well ask Monty to tighten the tie on my bikini top. That would be too much. The boys would question that. Joking around and talking to each other in a group was okay. Touching was not. “Hey Justin, do you mind?” I gestured to my back, not looking at the pool. “He’s a little busy.” Bryce said. I could hear splashing behind me. “Zach?” “Sure.” He climbed out of the pool and untied the bottom strings. He pulled them tighter in a knot and doubled the bow. “Good?” “Yeah.” I turned around. “Thanks.” Bryce whistled. Gross.“Why are you keeping her all to yourself again?” He asked Justin. I flipped him off. Why am I being nice to you again? “I’m not. It’s Addison. Even if I was, I don’t share Bryce.” He seemed to shut the conversation down. Only I could pick up on the stern undertone in his voice. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and they were back to goofing off again. I slipped in the pool and noticing Justin was distracted, I swam over to him and jumped on his back. I may have accidentally splashed Monty in my jumping. I snuck a peek at him and he was rolling his eyes and laughing. “Chicken?” Justin asked. His hands went to my thighs unconsciously. “No. You dropped me last time. Though it would be entertaining trying to watch the rest of you lift each other.” “We’re strong.” The boys around me protested. They all made a show of flexing. “Yes, yes. You’re all strong and hot. With superior athletic abilities. Go you.” I laughed. “Ha! I told you she thinks I’m hot.” Bryce pointed at Justin. “It doesn’t count if you’re objectively attractive Walker. I also think the blond guy from the Percy Jackson movie is hot. Because he is objectively attractive.” “Objectively attractive?” “You’re lucky you’re rich.” I muttered. Justin choked. “You’re a very pretty man Bryce Walker.” “Do we get called pretty too Addison?” Monty asked.“If you don’t call me by my full name again then sure Monty. You are also pretty. Foley, I swear if you drop me, you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” His hand tightened around my thigh. The group of us hung out for a while. At some point Scott joined us. Even though we weren’t friends per say, he was still nice to me when I was around. He swam over to my corner of the pool. “I’m supposed to ask you if you think I’m pretty?” “Scott. If you don’t know you’re pretty, I don’t know what to say to you.” “Alright then. Why was I supposed to ask?” “I acknowledged Bryce is objectively attractive and the children felt left out.” “I see. Why are you hiding in a corner?” “Hiding from Justin. He’s trying to get me to play chicken. But I don’t feel like getting dropped again.” “And why does he think you’d get to play with anyone else?” “I think the attempt would be very entertaining actually.” There was a ringing over by the table. “Someone’s phone is ringing.” I called. The ringing stopped and started again immediately. Zach looked up. It was his phone. “It’s probably his mommy calling to tell him he has to come home before it gets dark.” Bryce teased. The boys laughed. I even chuckled a little to myself. Oh, how bad I would feel about that chuckle in a few hours. Zach splashed him. By the time the phone began its second round of ringing again, Zach was out of the pool and grabbing it. He was smiling when he answered it. “Hey Mom. I’m com-.” It was quiet. “Yeah, I’ll be right home.” He hung up and quickly pulled on his pants, over his wet swim trucks. He threw on his shirt and practically sprinted back in the house. He didn’t say a word to any of us as he left.“What’s going on with him?” Bryce said. We all stared after him. A few hours after I got home, I got a text from Bryce. Justin got the same text. Zach’s dad died. Justin and I sat and looked at each other at the table, shocked. We sat there for a solid ten minutes, trying to absorb the information we had been given. I was sure our friends were in the same position. How did you respond to something like that? None of us had ever lost a parent. Sure, I had lost a couple of grandparents. I probably wasn’t the only one. But they’re sort of expected to die. They’re old. They’ve lived. Our parents weren’t old. Not old enough to die yet anyway. I picked my phone back up and texted Zach the only thing I could think to say. He would hear the words a lot in the next few months. I am so sorry. I knew he wouldn’t answer. Zach wasn’t at school for the rest of the week. Not that he should have been. He had been excused from all of his other exams. Because of course he should have been. I didn’t see him until I was walking home from a date with Monty over the weekend. He was just… walking around town. He didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me standing up the street, he waved a little. I waved back and slowly walked over to him. Even though Zach Dempsey and I weren’t really friends, we were friendly. That’s why it didn’t feel weird when the only thing my brain said to do, was hug him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything. He just hugged me back. We didn’t talk about that random, silent hug on the street again. Not for a long time at least. We simply nodded as we parted ways. He walked one way and I walked the other. July changed a lot of things. Bryce left town with his family a few days after Zach’s dad’s funeral. Seth was back in town too. That meant Justin spent most of the first couple of weeks of July at my house. He was right. My parents were not happy about him doing summer school. As his not-mom my mum had a strict ‘no fun until homework is done and checked’ rule. At first, I spent my time with Monty during school hours. We weren’t really sure what the summer meant for our relationship. Those first few dates, we mostly talked about that. “Well, I don’t want to not see you.” Monty said, between kisses in the backseat of my car. We had parked at a secluded clearing overlooking the river. “I don’t want to not see you either. It’s going to be hard though.” “Don’t talk about hard right now Doll. Please.” I pulled away and looked at him wide-eyed. “You don’t strike me as a public sex kind of girl. And I don’t want to get a public indecency charge.” “Yeah. I’m not.” I sat up. “Justin being at my place complicates things.” “Oh, I know.” He ground out as he adjusted his jeans. I could tell my cheeks were flushed. “We knew we couldn’t see each other every day.” “But it’s not easy not seeing you.” “I know it’s not.” “Why does this have to be so hard?” He sat back. “I don’t know.” Neither of us were ready nor willing to have the ‘tell other people’ talk. Even though it had been almost a year. And probably needed to happen. “Seeing each other while school is in, isn’t such a bad thing, is it?” “No.” “And I do have other friends. I could say I’m going to the city with Alex or something. Give us some more time?” “That’s true.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I could take you to the bookstore.” He blinked at me. “What?” “The bookstore?” “It’s air conditioned.” I shrugged and climbed into his lap. His hands instinctively found their way to my hips. “You just need someone to carry your books again.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I smirked. There was something different about Justin since he started summer school. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was… distracted. I noticed he spent more time on his phone after homework than paying attention to what we were doing. Which was fine when it was show re-runs or my mom’s pick for movie night. But when you’re trying to play Ticket to Ride with a guy, it’s much easier when they are paying attention. “Hey. Earth to Justin. Hello?”“Huh?” He looked up from his phone. “It’s been your turn for the past five minutes.” “Shit, sorry.” He looked at his cards and the map. Picking up a red and a pink from the pile, he settled back in his chair. Interesting. I frowned at the board, trying to figure out what he was doing. I came back with nothing. His phone buzzed again. I glanced at it. So did he. Then my phone buzzed. He glanced at it. So, did I. It was like we were waiting to see who would grab their phone first. After a few beats, his hand went to his phone. He smirked a little and put it down. I didn’t check mine. I came home from a date with Monty a little late on Thursday. It was nearing five when I walked in the door, after I fixed my hair. I dropped my purse and stopped dead in my tracks. Justin had company. Company in the form of Jessica Davis. Who was currently sitting in his lap. On my couch. Making out with him. On my couch. They had their hands up each other’s shirts. On my couch. I cleared my throat. Jessica pulled away and turned towards me. “Oh, hey Addy.” She greeted, like this was normal. “Hey Addy. You’re… just getting home?” His speech was slowed. Are you shitting me? “Yeah. What’s going on?” “Your parents said I could have a friend over after class.” “Okay.” I blinked. She was still perched in his lap. I glanced at the clock. “I suggest you fix your shirts because they should be home soon. And I don’t think they want to see, uh, this.” I motioned in their general direction. Jessica laughed and climbed off Justin. “Oh, don’t be such a priss, Addison.” “I’m not being a priss. I just wasn’t expecting to come home to people making out on my couch.” She rolled her eyes. “Great to see you too. Hey, Justin. Can I steal you for a sec?” I waved upstairs. “There’s snacks in the cupboard, Jess.” Justin followed me upstairs, trying not to giggle at, assumingly, the fact that he didn’t get caught by my parents. I shut the door when we got to my room. “What the fuck Justin?” “What?” He shrugged. “What do you mean what?” “What?” “Making out with a girl on our couch?” He was trying to avoid eye contact. My parents are going to kill him. “No one was home. It’s not a big deal.” “How long has this been going on?” “I don’t know, a couple weeks?” I blinked at him. He was still trying to look away from me. I grabbed his face and made him look at me. “Are you fucking high right now?” “No? What? Why would you ask that?” His eyes were bloodshot. He was acting very much like Justin when Justin has been indulging in Bryce’s stash. “Don’t lie to me Justin Foley. You know my parent’s rules. Do you want them to freak out?” “Oh, come on Addison. It was a little weed. It’s not that big of a deal.” I sighed heavily. “You know what, whatever. You obviously don’t care. So, I suggest you tell your girlfriend to leave or figure out a way to sober up before they get home. And if that fails, tell her to leave, and come hide in here until you’re sober enough to face them.” I grabbed a book off my shelf and went back downstairs. I nodded at Jessica, who had made herself some crackers and dip. Sitting at the table, I texted Monty. Justin and Jessica? Did you know about this? He responded a couple of minutes later. No? Actually?Yeah. They were making out on my couch when I got home. And to make things even more awkward and complicated, they’re both high. I mean, to be fair, weed isn’t really that bad. Yeah. I know. But that’s not the point. My parents are going to freak. Now is really not the time to be pissing them off. Oh crap. You guys leave for Boston soon, don’t you? Next week. And if Justin can’t keep his shit together… I left the unspoken implication hang in cyberspace. Are you really just going to ignore the fact that they were on the couch?I was hoping to just ignore that fact. Our make out spots are becoming fewer and further between. We could just stay in your bed, Doll. But the couch has the TV. So we can not watch a movie without worrying about my laptop falling. “Who you texting so much?” Jessica asked, trying to peer at my phone. “Friend from Boston.” I said, locking my phone. “Oh, friend from Boston, you say? Is he cute?”“I guess? His girlfriend probably thinks so.” “Oh. Not a secret long distance lover then?”“No. And we grew up together. It would be weird.” I slipped my phone in my pocket and grabbed some cereal. We both looked up when my parents got home. I took that as my cue to go get Justin. I practically kicked him downstairs so he could go entertain his girlfriend with my parents and I could have some time to process how I missed it. Probably the same way he has missed me having a boyfriend for… almost a year. The day before we left for Boston, Justin and I were running around like mad men. I had plans with Monty and Justin had plans with Jessica tonight, so I didn’t want to be too long packing. Unfortunately, neither of us could find anything we wanted to bring. It was going to be nice so I wanted to bring some dresses. We had a few things planned, but like with our other trips, there would be plenty of time to lounge around the house. “Have you seen my pink and green dress?” “The one with the stripes? No. Have you seen my blue shirt?”“I think mum put it in the wash.” “Okay.” Justin went down the hall to the bathroom. “Has anyone seen my shampoo?” He called. “It’s in here.” My dad called from their room. I was busy ripping apart my closet. I groaned in frustration. “You know, it’s just Boston. We go every year.” “I know Justin. I just like to be prepared for every eventuality.” “Yeah. Wait… are you trying to impress Adrian?” Justin laughed. I turned and he was leaning against the doorframe. “No. Absolutely not. Besides, he has a girlfriend.” A girlfriend I happen to like. “If you say so.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off as he went back to packing his bag. I gave up on my closet and decided to tackle our toiletries. I wasn’t too concerned with travel sizes because it was all going in my checked luggage. “Decide what book you’re taking with you Addy?” “Don’t you mean books, plural? It is a 6-hour flight after all.” He laughed. “Okay, okay. Books?” “I’m happy you asked.” I grinned as I pulled out the Barnes & Noble bag from under my bed. His jaw dropped. I shrugged. “Your parents are going to freak.” “They know I went book shopping.” After a very long day of packing, Justin left to go meet Jessica. I texted Monty to let him know I would be leaving in about fifteen minutes. “I’m going to hang out with Alex and Clay for a bit.” I told my parents. “Just remember we leave early tomorrow for the airport Addison.” My dad said, not looking up from his list. My mom was emptying the fridge. “I will.” When I got to the cliffside where we agreed to meet, Monty was waiting for me. I couldn’t help myself. I ran and held onto him like it was the last time I would ever see him. “You’re only leaving for two weeks Addison.” He grunted at the impact. “I’m going to miss you.” “I’ll miss you too.” He kissed the top of my head. We stood like that for a few more minutes before finally separating. I took his hand and led him up the trail. It was good for both of us to be walking the trails. He was starting summer training with the boys while we were gone, and I was going to be sitting for around 8 hours straight tomorrow. Provided our flight wasn’t delayed, of course. It was just starting to get dark, and I stopped along the way to take in the town’s skyline in the evening dusk. Monty rested his chin on top of my head, and I sighed, leaning back into him. It was so peaceful. I looked up and him and noticed a small bruise forming on his jaw. Not wanting to start a fight right before I left for two weeks, I pretended I hadn’t seen it. I smiled sadly to myself still. I wish he would just talk to me about it. After a few hours, wandering around and soaking in the last time we would have for a couple of weeks, which feels like an eternity when you’re 16, we knew it was time to say goodbye. When we got to the parking lot, he made me turn around at his Jeep. I furrowed my brow. Before I could ask, he twirled his finger in the air. I clamped my mouth closed and turned. He rummaged around for a minute. “What are you doing?” “You’ll see. Just wait a minute.” I huffed. He chuckled. “Ah.” He muttered. He tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. He held out a small Barnes and Noble bag. I was taken aback. I wasn’t expecting anything. I pointed at the bag and then at me. “F-for me?” “It’s not much so don’t start.” He smiled, shyly. “Okay.” I took the bag. “I can’t wrap stuff worth shit, so the bag is as good as you’re going to get.” I laughed and shrugged. It was a fair enough explanation. I opened the bag and pulled out a spiralbound notebook. The cover was pink with the titles of all the classics on it. I smiled. “You won’t be here for your birthday, and I know your notebook is getting full so….” Monty trailed off. “Thank you. This is really sweet.” I flipped it open and gasped. On the first page, he had drawn a book like on the cover, and titled it The Next Classic and written Hawthorne at the bottom where the author’s last name sometimes appears. “Happy birthday, Addison.” “Oh.” I smiled. My eyes had started to tear up. This was the sweetest gift anyone had ever given me. I closed the gap between us and kissed him. He pulled me closer to him and I deepened the kiss just a little. Not too much, just enough to make him remember me while I was gone. 
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misschanadlerbong · 1 year
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Chapter 11 - It'll Be Okay
Summary: Clay goes to the reader's house to comfort her.
Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault, mention of food.
Genre: Heavy Angst
Word Count: 1.6k
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“Hey Y/N, how are you? Please reply to my texts or call me back.” You got a text from Clay.
“Y/N please, I am worried”.
This was not the first time you were getting these texts from Clay. It had been a week since you met him or talked to him. Since the day Bryce tried to rape you, you have not been to school and have not seen anyone. After crying that whole night, you shut your emotions off because it is always easier to not feel anything rather than cry over the same thing over and over again.
You decided not to tell anyone because you did not know what to tell them. Somehow as always, it felt like all of this was your fault.
What would you tell others? That Bryce tried to rape you, and you couldn’t even fight back? Everyone in the school would slut-shame you without knowing the truth.
Thoughts like these ran through your mind and you could not take it anymore honestly, you were not strong enough to feel such heavy emotions, so you shut them off. You went miserable during that week, did not eat properly, and did not care about your skincare and body. You were losing your shit.
You had a perfect plan; you sought Tony’s help and made him swear that he will not open his mouth to anyone about anything. Every morning you came to his place instead of going to school and by the time school got over you came home so that no one would even notice. You got many texts from Jessica, but the good thing was that she was out of town, and you could easily lie to her about everything.
Stalling Justin was easy too and as Tony told you even Zach did not say anything in school about you, but he told you that Zach use to ask about you every day, about how you are keeping up, about your health, about you not coming to school. But you still didn’t care about it. All you cared about was Clay. Seeing those texts, and the endless missed calls made you want to go to his place and tell him the truth but a part of you was scared. You were scared to confront him about Bryce, feared him judging you, and scared to ruin what you had with him. 
Every day you had this thought of breaking up with Clay because you did not want to drag Clay into your drama. He was doing simply fine in his school you did not want him to suffer because of you. A part of you felt that Clay is better off without you and that is why you ghosted him.
Today, you reached your home a bit late because though you were not going to school you kept your homework up to date. So, after finishing your work you went to your place, and it was almost dinner time. As soon as you opened the main door you heard your parents talking and with that, you heard a familiar voice. You went inside the living room and saw Clay sitting on the couch with your parents.
Upon your arrival, all three of them stood up. Clay looked sad and confused and as your eyes met you felt pity for not talking to him all this week. Your mother looked furious before you could ask about the unknown arrival of Clay your mother started yelling at you, “Y/N Y/L/N you had a boyfriend? And if you were not going to school all this time, where were you going? What is happening? Answer me!” She demanded.
You did not answer any of her questions and instead turned to Clay, “Clay what the hell are you doing here? You are not supposed to be here, just leave.”
Before Clay could say something, your father intervened and said, “Let us all just calm down and have a peaceful family dinner, and Y/N you cannot skip dinner today like you have been doing for the past week. Clay, I would like you to join as well and then after dinner, we can talk.”
Your father was always the savior. You all sat down at the dining table and said grace. Your mother still had that death glare on her face which scared you. Your father was quick to notice the tension building in the atmosphere and suggested “Now everyone will tell us about how their day was.”
Your mother tried taking the first bite of her food, but rage took over her hunger and she slammed her fork on her plate and asked you “So tell me Y/N how was your day? And where did you spend it?”
You were annoyed and could not take it anymore you stood up and announced “You all want to know about my day huh? So, I made a particularly crucial decision today. I am quitting the baseball and basketball team.” Your mother though was furious with you, but her face revealed a sigh of relief. You glared at your mom and said “And you would be happy right, Mom? Because you never wanted me to play in the first place.” After saying this you left the table and stormed off to your room.
Your father and Clay were shocked at whatever you just said. They knew sports was one of the most important things in your life that kept you happy and they knew you could quit anything but sports. 
Clay followed you to your room. You sat on the edge of your bed looking at the floor and Clay came inside shutting the door behind him. 
This was the first time Clay was coming into your room. Your room was subtle, it had a mauve aesthetic with contrasting curtains hanging on the window just above the couch in your room. Your bed lay in the middle of the room with blue sheets. There were fairy lights on your headboard and some Polaroids were clipped to the lights.
Clay looked outside the window to prevent eye contact with you.
“Why would you do that Y/N? Why me huh? A week and no texts no call? Who am I to you?” you could hear the anger in his voice. He had every right to be angry with you but did not know the truth.
“Clay you were not supposed to be here, my parents don’t know about you. After Zach, they prohibited me from dating someone because I went miserable after the breakup.”
Clay turned towards you, but you were still looking at the floor, you said “I think we should break up Clay, it would be best for both of us.”
Those words were such a thunderclap to Clay. He could be angry with you, mad at you but he could not stand the idea of breaking up with you. He sat down on his knees to bring himself to your level and held both your hands in his with a look of distress in his eyes and he could not help but stare. He felt like he didn’t recognize you. You were not the Y/N he admired, weak and miserable. You had deep dark circles under your eyes and looked fragile.
“Y/N are not eating enough? What is it, baby? Talk to me. It is okay whatever it is. Hey, look at me. Please, don’t do this to me, it hurts.”
He pulled your chin and made you look him in the eye. As your eyes met you could not keep your tears away anymore, “Something happened Clay…” you sobbed.
“What is it?”
You told him everything that had happened to you. His face was mixed with reactions he was angry at Bryce, sorry for you, and mad at himself for not knowing earlier and not being there for you when you needed him. 
“Why didn’t you tell me Y/N about all this? Why would you even hide something from me?”
“Because I thought you’ll judge me like every other person in our school and think I am just another girl who slept with Bryce.”
“Are you crazy? I would never. Y/N you are one of the most important people in my life and I could not lose you to that asshole. I told you everything about Hannah and how he screwed with everyone I ever loved. I am not letting that dick do anything to you. We will fight back. But if you want some space and time, I will understand but please, God please don’t break up with me.” 
Clay held your face in his hands and looked into your eyes, you could see that his eyes were tearing up too.
“Y/N, I love you…” You intervened “But Clay…”
“No, Y/N you don’t have to say it back. I just wanna let you know that there are people who love you and care about you so that you don’t do anything stupid. I meant to say this for a long time, but Y/N Y/L/N I am in love with you.”
You looked at him with pity in your eyes and said, “But I am a mess Clay, why would you love me?”
“Well, I love your mess. I love everything about you” replied Clay.
Clay kissed your forehead and engulfed you in a hug and caressed your back. You took a moment to realize it was fine for him to touch you. Since Bryce, you prevented every possible human touch because you lost trust. But this felt different. As he hugged you tightly instead of revolting back you hugged him back and started crying. You could feel his damp sweatshirt on his shoulder and a couple of Clay's tears on your shoulder. 
“We can tell people whenever you are ready. It’s all gonna be okay.” He whispered.
At that moment you felt protected. You knew you could move past this. You knew everything will be fine and you will be able to face that asshole and get him punished for whatever he did. You knew it will be okay.
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shayyprasad · 4 days
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game (headcanon) | clay jensen
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a/n: something. i had to post something. (i'm halfway through season three, any requests can only be made in the timeline of season one + two + three! please, no spoilers! (i'll cry.) i wanted to write something, literally anything, to get the creative wheels turning. this is kind of just a starting point for me. italics - clay; normal - ...anyone that isn't clay.
summary: how you and clay became you and clay.
warnings: mostly fluff, some depressive/suic!d@l thoughts (nature of clay), it's 13rw... let's face it, the show tackles some dark stuff.
pairing: fem!reader x clay jensen
word count: 0.79k+ words
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-after hannah, clay wasn't great at putting himself out there, especially when it came to girls.
-the biggest thing he'd be worried about was girls. once hannah passed, the main reason he was having trouble was because he was trying to find another hannah.
-clay couldn't help but compare everyone to her.
-it was funny though, because the second he saw you, it was like; who's hannah? the world of "before hannah" and "after hannah" was gone.
-in that moment, when you'd first locked eyes, anything revolving the mere thought of hannah disappeared. he didn't have to think about her, and as selfish as it feels to him, it was refreshing. relieving.
-and you know what? he loved that feeling. he loved the feeling of cloud nine.
-sure, plently of times he'd considered asked you out. and then the thought would hit him like a brick; he's never even said a word to you. how's he going to ask you anything at all, if he can't even utter yet a simple "hi" to you?
-trust me, he tries. clay tries a whole lot. but he'll be inches away, and freeze up.
-part of him is afraid to love again, because what if everything ends up like hannah? like one big repeat? he's not sure if he can live through that again. it was hard enough the first time around.
-eventually, he gives up, choosing to admire you from afar.
-it's luck for him, however, when you're the one to break the ice.
-he remembers it clearly, how you lean over during english lit.
-"clay? do you have any idea what we're doing. because... yeah, i wasn't listening." / "huh? what? oh, uh, yeah- yeah, it's chapters 12-15, questions 1-10."
-he's panicking. you're talking to him.
the second time, you're complaining about your math grade to a friend. he's not even thinking when he blurts out:
-"i can help you. like, tutor you or whatever. i'm pretty good at it." / "wait, really? like, for real?" / "sure."
-clay's non-chalant on the outside, not so much on the inside.
-you seem happy, and instantly, he is too.
-the first thing he does is head into his room, kicking justin out.
-"yeah, okay, well, the adoption papers strongly disagree." / "please? y/n's coming over! i need this to go well." / "y/n? no shit?" / "no shit."
-justin gives in, he's clay's number hypeman anyways. justin lingers in the main house, and then finally wanders to find jessica. that's not clay's concern right now, though.
-it's his room. or more specifically, his shared room. he's freaking out, he hasn't been this nervous since the trial, as he shoves all - i mean all - of justin's crap into the closet, then cleaning up his own.
-he hesisitates over his akr comics, before shoving them in a drawer.
-clay showers, it won't hurt, and spritzes on some of justin's more... masculine colongne.
-half an hour later, there's a knock at the door. he's giddy as he answers it, yet nervous as well.
-"nice house-shed." / "thanks."
-he hopes it a compliment. you're nodding in approval, taking in his room. (shared room.) the little trinkets and trophies.
-and the one akr comic he left out.
-"oh, you read these?" / "y-yeah. i mean, yes. i do. wait- do you?" / no, but my little brother does."
-it's incredible how the conversation flows so smoothly after that.
-after a while, you and him got close. suddenly, it wasn't just study/tutoring sessions, it was hangouts at your place and his.
-everyone thought the two of you were dating, starting with justin.
-he would just be talking to his brother, and it would slip in.
-"how's it going between you and y/n?" / "what's going?" / "dude, you still haven't said anything?" / "there's nothing to say."
-or between his parents:
-"clay, honey, how's your girlfriend? you should bring her over for dinner!" / "we aren't dating, mom." / "really?"
-and more frequently, at school. everyone just assumed you and him were together, and at some point, you stopped correcting them.
-"hey, man, your girlfriend left her jacket in class." / "i'll give it to her."
-somewhere along the line, the difference between dating and not-dating blurred, to the point where you weren't even sure what was going on.
-"hi, not-boyfriend." / "hey, not-girlfriend."
-^became a regular occurence.
-"should we just date? y-you know, because everyone thinks we are... so... it's like-" / "sure." / "okay. wait, really?" / "yeah, why not? i'm suprised it took you this long. i'm literally always flirting with you." / "oh."
-like i said, clay isn't always the best with girls. it doesn't matter though, because you have enough game for the both of them.
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boytickler35 · 6 months
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13 Reasons to Tickle part 4
 
    When Clay answers the door after school there were a lot of things that wouldn’t have surprised him to see, someone delivering paperwork for his mom, a package, even Tony or Jeff dropping by for a visit. Of all of the possibilities, a very high Justin was not one he considered and the other boy pushes past him into the house and flops down on his couch.
    “What the fuck are you doing here?”
    “I need you to tickle the shit out of me.” He sounds tired, exhausted even.
    That doesn’t make him any more sympathetic, “What!”
    “You heard me. I need to laugh till I like, pass out.”
    Tempting but fuck this guy for coming in and thinking he can just demand whatever he wants. “Why the hell should I?”
    Justin toes of his sneakers right there and his socks are almost more hole than material. “Listen Jensen, I know you hate me and you know how ticklish I am, you totally like wrecked me last time, so think of it as revenge or whatever you need to just make me laugh.”
    He does hate Justin and that had been a lot of fun...plus those socks were doing a fantastic job of reminding him that Justin has pretty nice feet, the rosy color to them, surprisingly soft, and very, very ticklish.
    Right now they also stink...or maybe Justin in general stinks.
    “I’m not doing anything until you take a bath or something, you reek.”
    He can’t deny that he's a little pleased by Justin turning a little red, serves him right.
    It isn’t hard to corral him into the bathroom and hand him a towel. He leaves and sits for a minute lost in thought until he hears the water turn on and that spurs him to action. If Justin is literally asking for it, he needs to deliver! It doesn’t take him too long to get some things together, usually the only tool he needs are his hands...maybe his tongue too. Today though he’s pulling all the stops, Justin is going to get exactly what he wants.
    By the time the bathroom door opens a few minutes later, Clay has everything he needs all safely tucked under his bed and out of sight, surprise is the name of the game. 
    He calls out to Justin to come in and when he does Clay takes stock of him. He’s changed, the socks he’s wearing now don’t have holes in them, or maybe just not as many, while he’s still wearing pants and a long-sleeved shirt but definitely new ones. He’s happy to find he can’t smell him either. 
    He directs Justin to lay on the bed and sets about strapping him in. Tony helped him get enough velcro and rope for straps which he’s excited to try out and sets Justin up in a Y with his arms to the corners and feet together to the center of the footboard. He’s never understood why people tie in an X, he wants the feet right next to each other so he can demolish both at the same time!
    He plans to do the same today but he has a few other tricks first and one of them is letting Justin stew in the bondage for a while. He’s surprised the other boy agreed to it so readily but he doesn’t stop to wonder about it and instead waits until the other boy speak.
    “Are you like, going to do anything? Or just keep looking at me like a piece of meat or something?”
    With that Clay chuckles and moves on to his first surprise by sitting across his waist and looking him in the eye. “How ticklish are you Justin?”
    He watches cheeks redden a bit as he gets his reply, “You already know.”
    Clay reaches back and pats a socked foot. He does it tenderly but he can’t tell if it’s to tease Justin or because he doesn’t want to damage the goods but either way he feels it flinch under his hand. “I know how ticklish these are, I want to know how ticklish the rest of you is.”
    Justin opens his mouth, then closes it, and then smirks, offering, “Why don’t you find out.”
    “Are you challenging me, little boy?”
    The smirk remains and Justin doesn’t reply other than that. He’ll take it as a yes then, good he likes a challenge.
    He reaches down and touches Justin’s belly with a lone finger, lightly and traces circles on it. The smirk starts quivering slightly at the corners of Justin’s mouth. Pleased, he steps it up, adding his other hand’s index finger two make for two. He watches as Justin’s resolve slips and wonders if it can even be called ‘resolve’ since Justin asked for this. He slowly adds another finger and then another until all ten are lazily moving around on the skin.
    “Does it tickle?”
    Justin shakes his head but obviously it does and they both know it.
    “So you won’t mind if I step it up a bit?”
    “NohOpe.”
    Clay smirks and stops for a moment, just long enough for Justin to be confused and when he opens his mouth to comment, Clay returns all ten tickling much harder and faster across the belly and moving onto the sides and farther up the chest. Justin bursts out laughing, not the deep, intense ones from when he got gang tickled in Jeff’s basement but laughter all the same. Clay keeps it up, enjoying the flat, muscular surface beneath his fingers and feeling the muscles contract all the way in as Justin sucks his belly in away from the tickling. He lets it work long enough to focus on the sides, counting Justin’s ribs out loud and then returns to the stomach, and then to the chest, and back to the sides. 
    He keeps it up for three minutes but he doesn’t want to exhaust the moron too quickly so he gives him a break after that. They don’t speak, Justin because he’s too busy sucking air in and Clay because there isn’t much to say.
    Once he’s sufficiently recovered, Clay attacks his armpits without any warning, teasing the rarely touched skin and despite the shirt as protection, Justin goes wild beneath him, bucking and laughing like a mad man.
    “Koochi-koo Justin. Does that tickle?”
    “FUhAHAHkYOhoU!”
    He can’t help but add in a bit of teasing, and from the response he feels justified in doing so.
    “That’s mean, you asked me to do this!”
    “AhAhAhASS!”
    “Well if that’s how you feel.”
    He steps it up, or rather down, moving from the hollows to the taut skin between the armpit’s hollow and Justin’s sides which somehow seems to drive him even more wild. 
    Clay pushes it a little farther before letting Justin take a few mouthfuls of water. The other boy manages to catch his breath and after the water seems totally refreshed but Clay gives him a little longer if only to tease him a little more.
    “So how am I doing? I mean your so ticklish I could blow and you’d giggle.”
    Justin rolls his eyes. “Yea, yea whatever Clay. Obviously you aren’t as great as you think cause I’m still conscience.”
    Clay raises an eyebrow and says, “Is that a challenge?”
    A smirk comes across Justin’s face as he says, “Well if I’m really that ticklish it isn’t.”
    “I’m going to make you eat those words.”
    “Yeah sure, do your worHEhAsT!” 
    Clay cuts him off by going after his sides this time, squeezing them light and fast from the top of his waist to the bottom of his ribs. It apparently proves devastating because it isn't long before Justin is squirming and giggling but it seems his old stubborn streak is back cause he refuses to laugh. No matter how hard Clay tries, and he tries pretty damn hard, he can't get a laugh out of Justin which sort of annoys him given that the other boy came to him. 
    Still, the challenge is sort of exciting so he amps it up again working on his belly again. By now the shirt has ridden up and exposed his smooth belly and belly button. That gives Clay an idea and he takes a deep breath and leans down, blowing a loud, wet raspberry. That gets closer to a laugh and Clay repeats again and then a third time.
    Unfortunately each gets less and less effective each time and when he pauses he's greeted by a smirking Justin again. 
    "You're breathing heavier than I am."
    "Shut up." He can't help but feel a little frustrated at the other boy for being so smug about this and at himself for not being able to get a laugh out of him despite him coming here and asking to be tickled silly.
    "You know you can just tickle my feet already." 
    Justin's abrupt comment jerks him from his thoughts and he looks the other boy in the face.
    "You're serious?"
    "Duh, it's what you want to do right?"
    "Are you high?" He can't fathom why else Justin would literally ask for this.
    "Also duh. I said I want to laugh till I pass out or like, get close. You obviously can't manage just using my upper body so you might as well move on to the main event or whatever."
    Clay bites back that he could totally manage to crack Justin without resorting to picking an easier target, or targets in this case but...well he does admit it'll be more fun to get his hands on Justin's feet. The internal debate doesn't last too long as he gets off Justin's waist and pulls his computer chair up to the foot of the bed.
    "So you're really asking me to tickle your feet?"
    Justin gives a little shrug and wiggles his toes instead of giving a verbal reply and Clay rolls his eyes. Well if the invitation is there, he might as well take it. Reaching out he runs his fingers along the tops of the socked feet, and then down the soles. They twitch a bit but Clay isn't really trying to tickle and the socks are sort of thick and shelter the feet from most of his touch. In fact, Clay's surprised that he can feel it at all through them but it only makes him more sure he can do what both of them want. The thought excites him as he reviews the pair of toys he managed to snag in preparation for this.
    "Umm I don't like that look in your eyes."
    "Too bad, you shouldn't have teased me!"
    He doesn't let Justin prepare himself and instead digs into the soles in front of him with fingernails, raking up and down and drinking in the laughter bubbling out of the other teen. It's gratifying he thinks but he can't help but add insult to injury and comments, "Guess you should have been a little smarter about taunting huh? And not dangled these ticklish thing in front of me when you obviously can't handle it."
    "AhAHAhASS!" 
    "Has anyone ever told you you get mouthy when you're being tickled?" He smirks as he switches from random scratching to more concentrated pokes at the center of Justin's arches which he knows are pretty sensitive. "You're lucky I don't mind, someone less kind than me might take offense to being called an ass."
    "FuHAhACKyohOhU!"
    "You just keep getting ruder and ruder. Someone ought to teach you some manner." He continues, getting between the toes a little but mostly saving them for the surprise he has in his bag. He also more generally rubs them and lets Justin relax a little before tickling madly for a few seconds, then rubbing, then more tickling.
    Naturally Justin doesn't appreciate it and the cursing gets louder.
    “You’re getting ruder. Maybe I should do something to help you be a little nicer.”
    He strips the socks off and is about to make another comment when his nose is assaulted by the smell of citrus and coconut oil, thick and heavy. He glances at Justin’s feet and finds them glossy, then looks over the feet at the teen whose cheeks are pinker than usual and he won’t meet Clay’s eyes.
    “Did you use my mom’s lotion?” 
    “Umm no?”
    “Dude how much did you use?”
    Justin doesn’t even bother to reply and Clay takes an experimental poke at them. Justin tries to tug his foot away on reflex but can’t and a look of vague horror comes over his face as his situation fully dawns on him.
    Clay can’t help but smirk at the mild panic. “Guess you should have thought this one out a little more huh?”
    “Go easy on me?”
    “Nope!” He practically sings the word. “You made a dumb decision and now you’re going to pay for it.” He doesn’t wait for a reply and lets his fingers roam the soft expanses. Justin’s feet are every bit as nice as he remembers them and now, fully clean. The lotion keeps them slick so his dull nails glide across them. “Guess you really wanted this though, and to think I had a bottle of baby oil I don’t even need now!”
    Justin howls with laughter and alternates between begging him to stop and threatening him if he continues. Clay of course keeps it up until he decides Justin needs a break and gets the first of his toys while he waits. While he lets Justin breath he teasingly tweaks his big toes and asks, “Seriously how do you walk on these things much less play a sport on them?”
    “Shut the fuck up Jensen, I can’t help it.”
    He laughs and then reaches under the bed and feels around until he finds what he wants. Pulling himself back up he smirks and Justin who’s watching him with big eyes.
    “What did you grab?”
    Clay holds up a bag of pipe cleaners. He read somewhere that they were a fun tickle toy and he planned to use them of Jeff originally but that was before he got such a willing volunteer.
    Color drains from his face as he asks, “What’re you planning to do with those?”
    Clay thinks the grin that comes to his face is probably pretty manic but he can’t help it as he slips the first pipe cleaner between Justin’s big toe and it’s neighbor. The reaction is immediate, his toes clench together and laughter bubbles out. He manages to floss between them despite the clenching and says, “If you want to keep it there that bad you can just ask.”
    “FuAAHAhaCK!”
    “Guess I should continue right? Since you’re enjoying it so much I mean.” 
    “NoHOhAhohAH!”
    “Well if you insist.” He grabs another and uses it on the other foot. “Must be murder, I can’t imagine feeling a couple hundred fuzzy fibers between my toes!”
    “CUhAHhAiTOuHoHHAt!”
    “OOhhh here’s an idea, I think from now on your basketball games should be played barefoot, with the floor covered in feathers! Imagine all you big tough jock boys playing that game. I’d even pay for a ticket!”
    “AhAHAsS!”
    He weaves the pipe cleans between the toes and then pulls them out, flosses between them, and generally makes Justin howl with laughter but eventually he pulls them out and offers Justi more water. After the boy swallows nearly half the bottle Clay pulls out the other toy, a sharpie and shows it to Justin. He curls his toes in reply.
    “Come on Clay don’t do that.”
    He upcaps it and brings it to rest against the ball of one of his feet. “Don’t worry I’ll scrub it off later, for a fee.”
    With that he starts doodling, first drawing a feather and then moving to the other foot to writes ticklish jock boy feet
    Justin howls the whole time and Clay can’t help but enjoy it. He continues, drawing a basketball...sort of and a net to go with it, then scribbles tenderfoot for Justin to read later, knowing that he’ll blush furiously when he does.
    He’s so engrossed in his work though he becomes aware that Justin isn’t even laughing anymore. He glances up and panics for a moment, wondering if he somehow killed the other boy but realizes Justin just out, a soft snore confirms that. With a snort he unties him and tosses a blanket over him haphazardly. 
    Two hours later he’s elbow deep in honors algebra when Justin finally wakes up. Well actually the moron might have been awake already because he’s alerted to Justin’s wakefulness by a sudden question startling him out of his focus.
    “What’s a tease?”
    With an annoyed sigh he spins his chair around to see Justin sitting up in bed, blanket pooled around his waist. He looks pretty alert too which is why Clay thinks he’s been up for at least a few minutes but he wasn’t aware Justin could stay quiet for so long.
    “Someone who teases.” It’s a stupid question so it deserves a stupid answer.
    “How was I teasing you?”
    “Huh?”
    “Before you went after my feet you told me I shouldn’t have teased you.”
    Clay blushes but tries to act like he isn’t. Justin’s voice is surprisingly totally innocent and curious, no hint of malice or mocking.
    “It’s what you were doing before.”
    Big puppy eyes meet his and he heaves a sigh.
    “You were doing stuff to draw attention to your feet, teasing me with them.”
    “And I deserved to be tickled for it?”
    “Yea, if you’re going to tease you deserve to be tickled.”
    “Why?”
    He opens his mouth and then closes it again and then opens it again and then says finally, “Because it means you want it to happen.”
    “So if I do this,” He slides his feet out from under the covers and hangs them off the foot of the bed, wiggling them tauntingly in front of him, “I deserve to be tickled for it?”
    “Yes.” He half expects the idiot to keep teasing him and earn himself another tickling but he adopts a thoughtful expression and pulls them back under the blanket.
    Justin stays a while longer sort of spacing out and Clay returns to his homework. Eventually he kicks the other boy out because his parents should be home soon but he can’t say he totally dislikes the other boy as much as he wants to. Justin...might be okay and that’s a sobering thought.
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beamergirll11 · 1 year
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Don’t Do This To Me
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Summary: Your future no longer includes Justin.
Warnings: Angst, Mention of sex
Word Count: 706
Characters: Justin Foley
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You knocked on Clay and Justin’s door before walking in. Clay was in the middle of scolding Zach and Justin for throwing grapes on his bed like a toddler. Once Justin saw you his face beamed, He stood walking up to you his hands immediately grabbing yours.
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“Hey Y/N you weren’t answering my texts.” He said his smile remaining.
“Guys can you give us a few minutes?” As you said it, Justin rose a eyebrow as his head tilted.
“Oh yeah…sure.” Said Clay.
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“Yeah give us a few minutes.” Said Justin exchanging glances with everyone. Zach lifted himself off the floor and gave you a nod as he left. Clay slowly walked out as if there were land mines on the floor, He gave Justin one last glance before he left.
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“We need to talk.” You said as you took a seat next to him on his bed, Justin threw his legs over the side.
“Babe is everything okay?” He asked his eyebrows drawn together as he looked over you carefully.
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“Justin…”
The concern he had changed to dread, You took a deep breath. “I can’t be with you anymore.”
He swallowed hard as the color drained from his face. “W-Why?”
You and Justin had been dating for over two months. You both finally had sex for the first time. “Wait…” He said as he lowered his head his neck disappeared. “Was….Was I not good?”
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“J-Justin…?” she said her mouth agape and her gaze flat. “This has nothing to do with sex.”
“Than…what the fuck is it?” He asked his chin beginning to tremble.
“You know why.” You said sternly. You waited for him to speak but he didn’t. “Please don’t lie to me Justin.”
He was silent, You watched as his shoulders dropped his arms losing all strength. “I…I relapsed…okay…I am trying to-“
Before he could finish you interrupted him. “Justin you have been trying for a long time…I don’t want to wait anymore.” As you said this you’re voice broke.
“I know… okay I know! Y/N I know I’m a lot sometimes I know I’ve let you down-“
Once again you interrupted him. “Justin I have been accepted by another college.”
His eyes widened. “But you got accepted to Wentworth because it was close to me.”
“Justin I applied to different colleges.” You said feeling guilt overtake you.
“I can’t…I can’t accept…this I won’t accept it. ! This is bullshit! You know how much I love you!” As his voice was and his eyes began to fill with tears, you stood him following.
“You have no choice!” You shouted, This seemed to startle him.
“Just a night ago…just a night ago you were telling me you loved me! You were telling me to go deeper, harder! Now suddenly that means nothing to you?”
“You keep ignoring the “You” doing drugs part.”
“I’ve…I’ve never loved anyone more than you.”
“What about Jess?” You asked your extremities shaking.
“Yes! Yes more than I ever ever loved Jess! Please don’t fucking do this to me!” He begged as he reached out to you.
“I’m not Jessica!” You yelled out.
“What the fuck are you getting at?!” He yelled back tears finally dripping down his cheeks and down to his chin.
“I’m not coming back.”
“What are you even saying?” He asked confusion consuming his face.
“I’m moving…”
“What the fuck…Y/N there has to be more to this.” He sobbed. “If it’s Jess I don’t even talk to her much I’ll ignore her completely!”
“Justin I’ve always supported you getting clean but you relapsed and didn’t tell me even though it was so obvious.”
“…I was scared…okay.”
“I’m not enough for you.”
“What?! You’re everything to me!” He cried out as he shook uncontrollably.
“If I was you wouldn’t shoot up heroin!” You yelled back. Tears trickled down his pained expression with eyes that clouded.
“Y/N please I love you please don’t leave me. I promise I’ll get it right this time.” He sobbed wiping away tears. “Don’t do this to me!”
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“…Goodbye Justin…” you said avoiding eye contact. You turned heel as you made your way to the door you could hear him whimpering and sobbing. He didn’t see it but now you’re face was soaked in tears.
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jonfarreporter · 3 months
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Turn of A Potter’s Wheel, A Sonoma Artist Recollects on The Figurative Art Movement of the San Francisco Bay Area
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Upon learning about the current exhibit at the Sausalito Center for The Arts (SCA) entitled “Third Generation: The Bay Area Figurative Movement Today,” Sonoma artist and former mayor Larry Murphy was taken aback.
“If I had to spend the rest of my life looking at only one school of art it would be that group of artists,” he said. Murphy recollected his younger days coming of age just as the 1960’s had begun to change the world.
As a San Franciscan he witnessed and experienced the cultural shifts and trends that was redefining post-World War II America. San Francisco and the Bay Area was experiencing a vibrant and diverse energy that had its own style, palate of colors, tastes and even it’s own rock and roll sound.
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As an artist he was attracted to pottery and watercolor, the San Francisco Art Institute was a hub at the time. Artists and designers from all over the country were coming to the Bay Area to see for themselves what the West Coast was doing.
After World War II everything in terms of culture was focused on America, and the center for art, wasn’t Paris or Amsterdam, it was New York City. Abstract art was a major influence with works by Jackson Pollock and conceptual, minimalist and pop art.
Yet as young people went westward to California for sunshine and “The Summer of Love,” art in the Bay Area was firmly figurative.
Murphy explained, “I studied under Joan Brown, I love Nathan Olivera, Robert Arneson, Wayne Thiebaud, Richard Diebenkorn especially him!” He said. “And Manuel Neri, along with many others.”
Those he mentioned are like a “who’s who” of the Figurative Movement of the Bay Area, especially those artists that would profoundly impact those artists of what the SCA describes as “The Third Generation.”
“To me the most exciting things about these artists, said Murphy is their bold compositions.
“But, especially the way they used thick rich globby paint textures, he added. Murphy who still finds time to paint, exclaimed. “They make me drool!” Suddenly pinpointing a specific recollection he blurted out. “Oh lord, also the brilliant sculptor Stephen deStaebler.”
“And, Also Peter Voulkos,” he said. “Along with Viola Frey, she was another of my teachers,” said Murphy.
Confirming Frey’s work and impact upon the Figurative Movement in the Bay Area, speaking on behalf of the Artist’s Legacy Foundation, Cynthia de Bos said. “Despite Abstract Expressionism’s dominance in the art world at that time, Frey made a conscious decision to embrace figurative art after she saw Richard Diebenkorn’s figurative show at Poindexter Gallery in New York in 1958.”
Serving as the foundation’s Director of Collections and Archives, de Bos also pointed out that, “Frey did indeed embrace the figure from as early as her student years from 1953-56.”
Similarly, especially with the art of Stephen de Staebler, it’s no surprise that as a pottery maker Murphy is an enamored fan. Applauded as a sustainer in the figurative tradition, during the post World War II era, de Staebler was an important figure in the California Clay Movement.
Murphy at the insistence of his wife Rose transferred to California College of The Arts and obtained a Master’s degree in Fine Arts.
This then eventually lead Murphy and Rose with their burgeoning young family to move to the Sonoma Valley. Murphy accepted a teaching position at the prestigious Justin-Siena, and a more settled life for him and Rose began.
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After teaching art for more than 15 years, when he retired from Justin-Siena, Murphy became a pub owner in town. He later became Mayor of Sonoma. As the responsibilities of being mayor and pub-owner were stressful, Murphy still managed to keep his artwork going.
An avid fly-fishing enthusiast many of Murphy’s watercolor paintings are of scenes of lakes and streams of those fly-fishing trips. Whereas he described to KQED Perspectives, “to put myself in that beautiful place where nature is mostly untroubled by human intervention.”
Murphy doesn’t do poetry as much anymore. It’s messy and watercolor painting is more portable, he can do anywhere. Even though watercolors seem simple, to master the technique and medium of watercolor painting takes work, focus and patience.
As he used to say to his students, “there’s no such thing as ‘instant art.’ “Pop art often makes that impression. But real true art takes work.”
Reading over the exhibit program at the SCA website, Murphy reiterated the teachers and artists he knew. The Figurative Art Movement of the Bay Area did make an impact, one he remembers with affection and admiration.
“Spectacular stuff in my view, he continued, I have left out dozens of really exciting artists,” he said.
Third Generation: The Bay Area Figurative Movement Today is currently on view at SCA from Jan 5-28th, 2024. A Reception will be held on Saturday, Jan 20th, from 2 to 5pm. Refreshments will be served. For more details, visit the Sausalito Center for The Arts website.
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nabaabaher · 10 months
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The literary theory investigation
Which perspective do you believe allowed you to gain the most insight into your text?
The archetypal literary theory was the most effective perspective that allowed me to gain insight about the characters, their behaviours, and their interactions. This literary theory allowed me to analyse each of the main characters in detail based on their internal experiences and external behaviours. For instance, in the novel, Nate strictly rode a motorcycle. In most high school-based television series, the rebellious character rides a motorcycle because it's a dangerous vehicle that fits into the "bad body" aesthetic. Nate's vehicle choice spoke volumes about Nate's identity, specifically his rebellious personality. Secondly, the author designed the novel in a manner where each character could provide their personal experiences and perspectives. This unique design allowed the characters to describe how they viewed other characters. For instance, in chapter one, Simon described Bronwyn as the "brain" (McManus). By using Simon's brief description, I could validate my conclusions about the archetype that each character belonged to. When characters provided similar descriptions, I could use the textual evidence to strengthen my argument and persuade readers into believing that the character's behaviours fit into a specific archetype.
Furthermore, I used textual evidence and my knowledge of archetypes to compare characters to others in television series. This allowed me to examine the similarities and differences between the characters. For instance, in the series 13 Reasons Why, Justin Foley was portrayed as the rebellious archetype. His reckless and irresponsible behaviour was influenced by his absent parents. However, when Justin was adopted by the Jensen family, he understood the value of family and the importance of a parent-child relationship. Those experiences exposed a warmer side of Justin that was previously concealed by trauma. Similarly, Nate was portrayed as a rebellious and criminal character. His behaviour was a result of a poor family structure, specifically an absent mother and an alcoholic father. Nate's warm-hearted side was exposed when he established a romantic relationship with Bronwyn. These examinations allowed me to understand the characters and why they acted the way they did. It became clear that characters like Nate and Justin used rebellion as a technique for coping with trauma and suppressing their strong emotions.
2. Which perspective allowed you to discover things about your text that required you to really think deeply and make connections both within text and to other texts, your own experience, and the world?
The reader response literary theory was the most beneficial perspective that allowed me to reflect and make strong connections within my text, my personal experiences, and the world. More specifically, this literary theory allowed me to examine different events, characters, and their behaviours to make strong, rich connections. These examinations allowed me to understand the characters on an emotional level and how their experiences could impact their future interactions. For instance, when Cooper was investigated by detective Chang, he felt anxious and pressured to answer the questions that the detective presented because of the environment that was created, which is why he stated, "I want to call my parents" (McManus). If the detective had created a stress-free environment, Cooper would’ve cooperated and answered the questions.
Moreover, when Cooper contacted his father, Mr. Clay was overwhelmed with emotions and reacted negatively. His strong emotions were projected onto the detective, and he stated, "Hold up. Don't you say another goddamn word to anyone"(McManus). Cooper also narrated the scene, explaining how his angry father communicated with detective Chang. He stated, "I hand Detective Chang my phone, and he puts it to his ear. I can’t hear everything Pop’s saying, but he’s loud enough that I get the basic idea" (McManus). These emotions aren't the basic emotions that fictional characters experience; rather, they are the emotions that real people experience. This event was similar to other television series where children are accused of committing a crime and are questioned by detectives.
The parents react negatively and are outraged that their children are being questioned as perpetrators and not victims. For instance, in 13 Reasons Why, Matt and Lainie Jensen tried to remain calm and professional during Hannah’s court trial. However, based on the verbal conflicts, it became apparent that the parents were angry that their child was involved in the case. This also related to my father’s experience when he was questioned by police for the 2004 taxi driver's murder. Even though my father was never involved, he was questioned about the two parties and their past interactions. My mother was frightened that my father’s cooperation with the police would cause future conflicts for the family (e.g., a party might seek revenge).
By making these connections between the text and my personal experiences, I could further understand the emotions that human beings experience and the dynamics of different relationships. I learned that human beings are driven by their emotions. The emotion of love is arguably one of the strongest emotions that can push a human being beyond their limits to protect those they love. This was demonstrated through Mr. Clay’s actions when Cooper contacted him at the police station. Mr. Clay’s anger came from his parental instinct to protect his child from harm. This anger was motivated by his love for his son. Similarly, the emotions that my mother felt when my father was being questioned were driven by her love for her partner and her family. This analysis allowed me to reflect on different relationships in the world and how emotions can positively or negatively impact others. For instance, police officers are responsible for maintaining a safe environment. Police officers are continuously risking their lives and sacrificing their time to protect the community. This may stem from their love for protecting humanity from injustice.
References 
McManus, Karen M. One of Us Is Lying. London, Penguin Books, 29 May 2017.
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ao3feed-crimeboys · 2 years
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youngblood thinks there's always tomorrow
by clementine_wasfound
"That's right. On the 30th, you are destined to die. You cannot change it. No matter how hard you try." Dream says.
"Oh. Then I should really go and enjoy life before I leave everything and everyone behind. Shouldn't I?" Tommy replies, not noticing the tears falling from his eyes.
"I am sorry. But I cannot control it anymore either. What happens, happens." Dream softly says.
OR
Tommy Craft has been dreaming ever since his parents passed away. Uncannily enough, these dreams seems to be a vision of the things that will happen the following week. Though one day, the dreams stop...this has never happened before.
OR
AU where Tommy sees his own future in his dreams but then it all stops.
Words: 1070, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English
Series: Part 3 of using fanfictions of multiple block men as my life support and therapy
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Categories: Gen
Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo, Niki | Nihachu, Phil Watson | Philza
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Niki | Nihachu & TommyInnit, Niki | Nihachu & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Technoblade/TommyInnit/Phil Watson | Philza, Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Additional Tags: Dreams vs. Reality, time is an asshole woohoo, tommy is a fucking ticking time bomb, carrot cakes tastes good fight me if u think otherwise, How do I tag again, How tf do i tag, i have no fucking clue how to write emerald duo, tom's original dad isnt phil, it took me an hour to get the courage to write a character for le blood god, sibling angst my beloved, Found family my beloved, dream is always mean in the fics so hes not rlly mean here, somehow based on a dream i had long ago dont ask, never take anything for granted yall <3, title and chapter titles inspired by the song ghost by justin bieber, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Reincarnation, is pog, dream is god of death and time, Temporary Character Death, Bittersweet Ending
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misschanadlerbong · 1 year
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Chapter 6 - No, thank you!
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Summary: Everything was going great, she had a boyfriend, won the match and she was back to school after spending a lovely weekend and relaxing. But will things remain the same when she has to spend an evening with Bryce Walker practicing?
Warnings: teenage drinking, Bryce being a d*ck, swearing, sexual assault. TRIGGER WARNING: I have put "..." before and after the scene so don't read it if you would be uncomfortable.
Genre: Angst, 13rw AU
Word Count: 1.6k
Previous
After that very Friday night, you were filled with new energy. You used to see classic rom-coms to fill the void over the weekend but last weekend you did not because you were already overwhelmed with the dopamine rushing through your veins.
The Monday blues were replaced by the butterflies in your stomach. Everything seemed easy and beautiful, and you had the feeling that nothing wrong can happen now. The boy, the tall black-haired boy with those intoxicating deep brown eyes who was nothing more than an acquaintance to you became your first high school boyfriend.
The day was delightful, and you were filled with confidence this time it was not caffeine it was all you, it was your performance at the game on Friday night and it was Zach leading you to feel that way. Unfortunately, Zach had to rush to his grandmother’s place on Sunday evening so he was not going to attend school today implying that you would not be able to flex about your boyfriend.
Though you had filled Jessica with all the information about the night in detail and she being the ‘share it all’ girlfriend told everything to Justin, and it is a proven fact that people talk. It was not like you wanted to date Zach secretly, but it was better to surprise people in the hallway than to have those suspicious jealous stares at you.
It was lunch and you were sitting in the outer area of the school cafeteria all alone and enjoying your ‘me time.’ But once you start dating, there is no real ‘me time’ to spend. A text from Zach disrupted your peaceful lunch.
“Hey babe, missing me?” said the text.
“Not really, I was actually spending my time with the love of my life, and you just interrupted in between” you texted back.
“What do you mean? With whom?” the text from him sounded so possessive and sweet at the same time.
“Food. It is the love of life and always will be” you replied.
“Oh, I thought… Sorry to disturb you, I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and I will be coming to school tomorrow.” He texted back inserting a smiling and winking emoji.
“I’ll be waiting!” you texted back with a wink emoji.
Your texting was interrupted by a husky voice saying “Hey!” You looked up and found Clay standing in front of you. “Is this seat taken?” he asked gesturing towards an empty seat beside you. “Hey, nerdy! No, you can sit. I can use some company.” You replied.
“Seems like you played well, Congrats Y/N,” said Clay in the most cheerful tone.
“Thank you, Clay!”
“Cool hoodie Jensen. Gotta say I love your hoodies so much that I feel like stealing them.” You commented on his hoodie.
Clay chuckled and said “You can just borrow them if you want, I will not deny. I would not recommend stealing because you know my mum’s a lawyer so…”
“Oh my god, are you threatening to sue me or something, I just meant it as a joke Clay.”
You were having a great lunch. Having a conversation with Clay was always refreshing and good for your blood pressure. You and Clay whenever had a conversation ended up disagreeing on various things like your favorite characters, books vs. movies, etc. Clay always challenged your opinions but you being you had the sole aim of getting him on your side and winning the argument.
The arguments were not arguments it was a mixture of laughing, mean comments, critiques, and being awkward on Clay’s part.
The company of two increased to three as Justin joined you guys after some time when the lunch was about to be over. You were about to leave when Clay asked you a question, “Y/N, I am going to a movie this evening, wanna join?”
Before you could answer Justin interferes and says “Dude, what are you doing? You cannot ask her out she is dating Zach.”
“Justin, I think Clay didn’t mean it like that, did you Clay?” you reassured by looking at Clay.
Clay got all awkward and his face had a touch of regret, but he made sure you did not notice and said “No, I meant as friends to hang out you know. Zach huh?”
“Yeah Zach, no red flags about him, are there?”
“Nah he is a good guy.” Said, Clay.
“How come you did not know? I thought half of the school knew already.”
Clay grinned “Well I am the other half it seems. So, would you come to the movie? And I am asking as friends,” said Clay looking at Justin.
“Sorry Clay I really want to, but I got to practice in the evening and then I gotta study for history. Can we do a rain check on that? It will be fun watching a movie.”
“Yeah, yeah sure. Whenever you are free,” said Clay.
It was time for your practice, and you went into the girls’ locker room to change into your workout clothes. Today your Coach was not going to instruct as he was on a leave so, you and the team were on their own. Today was physical, including running 15-20 laps and working on your core muscles. It was a tedious task and to be honest you enjoyed playing more than working out but sometimes we have to do things which we don’t enjoy just for the betterment.
You got ready and put on your tights and a tank top and you went into the field and started stretching. There was no one there yet as you and Zach were the only punctual ones so you knew everyone else was going to be late or might even skip because it was physical after all and even the coach was not there to keep a check.
You were just starting to do your laps until Bryce showed up.
“Hey Y/N, looking good,” said Bryce.
“Hey! Thanks. Where do you think is everybody today? Skipping or just late?” you asked him.
“I don’t know, no one texted me.”
“I know about Zach but others, no idea. You know what forget it, let us start the laps.” You suggested.
You and Bryce started running around the field talking in between about random things. Well, it was mostly Bryce talking and you listening. You did not vibe well with Bryce to talk and stuff, but you tolerated him just for the sake of the team spirit.
“Why don’t we skip too? We can hang out in the clubhouse. I mean the coach is not here. It’s just us from baseball, no one’s checking.” Proposed Bryce.
“Umm I don’t know, I better get going to my place if we’re skipping too.”
“Oh, come on Y/N for once learn how to have fun.” Said Bryce teasing you.
“If you call smoking pot and drinking beer fun then no, thank you!” You replied ferociously.
“I was not talking about smoking pot, geez not with you. I know you do not like it. I was talking about just chilling in the clubhouse you know just talking and clicking pictures and stuff.”
Did Bryce care about what you liked or not? You thought to yourself but ignored it as you did not care. Upon his much more begging, you agreed to hang out with him in the clubhouse. You grabbed your blue varsity jacket as you didn’t want to be cold and proceeded towards the clubhouse.
The environment of the clubhouse was cozy, and the lights were dim. Bryce put up some music in the background on your request. Mostly it was lo-fi music. You both were talking and drinking, Bryce was drinking beer and you stuck to your simple old drink of soda.
You and Bryce were sitting on the couch beside each other, and your phone was kept beside you on the couch. You got a text on your phone and turned to check it.
As you were checking the text you felt Bryce’s hands on your shoulders pressing them.
... (trigger warning)
“You are so stressed.” Said Bryce.
“What the fuck Bryce?! Get your hands off me, you asshole” you said, getting up and going towards the door to leave.
As you were leaving Bryce grabbed your hand and pulled you closer saying “Hey wait up, we can have some fun.”
You pushed him away and said “No! Now I know how come no one showed up to the practice as all of them are your bitches and you must have told them not to come so that you can have some “fun” and Zach not being here just added to the advantage as he is the only one who doesn’t always do what you say.”
“Come on…” he insisted trying to pull you close again.
...
This time no was not going to work. You threw a punch at his face leading his nose to bleed. And you said “Hurts, doesn’t it? You should know I work out too. Oh no, you wouldn’t know that because you are too busy staring at my ass the whole time.”
The punch was enough to stop Bryce from doing anything else. You ran up to your home straight into your room and cried your eyes out. You were proud that you took care of yourself but still, you felt like it was your fault.
At that moment you just wanted someone to be with you and comfort you. You couldn’t even study for history and kept thinking how the evening would have been different if you went to the movie with Clay.
A/N: Damn she's brave isn't she? do you guys think that this incident will jeopardize her relationship with Zach? comment and tell me what you think, and of course wait for the next chapter to find out ^^
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THANK YOU!!!
P.S.: I also upload on Wattpad @immafreakingmoonstone, feel free to check out my account :)
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justinsjensen · 4 years
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