#jyn z bullshit

[jynzandtonic]

Adam Driver characters as the ‘I want a baby’ meme

—inspired by @madadlorian’s OG post for Pedro Pascal characters, which absolutely fucking SENT me.

...................

Adam Sackler

Charlie Barber

Clyde Logan

Rick Smolan

Flip Zimmerman

Toby Grisoni

Dan Jones

Officer Ronnie Peterson

Phillip Altman

#but the nuggets #jyn z bullshit #all of the boys #adam sackler #dan jones #charlie barber #clyde logan #flip zimmerman #phillip altman #rick smolan #officer ronnie peterson #toby grisoni #jyn z snaccs #daniel jones #ronnie peterson #adam sackler x reader #daniel jones x reader #dan jones x reader #clyde logan x reader #charlie barber x reader #flip zimmerman x reader #phillip altman x reader #rick smolan x reader #ronnie peterson x reader #toby grisoni x reader #the dead don't die #tmwkdq #hbo girls #i want a baby

[rapidashrider]

I was so tempted to just say A-Z because they're all interesting questions, but I restrained myself! With that in mind: B, G, K, S, T, V (...ok sort of restrained myself) :) xx

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?Uhm, well, I write about people in a committed relationship who have suffered some kind of personal loss. So in short… no! Fics written from my personal experience would be very boring. It would mostly involve characters sitting in the same seat for eight hours, eating chicken nuggets between meals and trying to find faces in the curtain fabric pattern.

G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?Answered here but it bears repeating: Moulin Rogue! is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read in my entire life.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?I have to say I think probably at the start of Patches, when the reason Cassian opens his eyes so wide in horror just before the shockwave hits them on Scarif is because he can’t remember what colour Jyn’s eyes are, is probably the most evil concept I’ve ever granted this fandom and now it’s all I can think of when I see that scene.

(I mean, that, and the entirety of Talk Tonight, but without wanting to sound too worthy, that whole story kind of serves a different purpose.)

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?*sighs* So many. Bedsharing, hurt/comfort, Inept Idiots Who Cannot Word Their Feels, Jyn not taking any bullshit, Artist Cassian, Cook Cassian (which is genuinely canon; thank you, Diego), that thing where he pushes her hair behind her ear, anything involving Draven, the notion that Leia had a crush on Cassian when she was younger, Luke & Bodhi Gay Pilot Boyfriends Forever… so many. Mostly, the fact that so many people in this fandom seem to be INCREDIBLE WRITERS is just what makes me happy.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?Kid fics just in general I avoid, because I can’t stand kids or pregnancy, but that’s personal; I don’t have a moral problem with it at all. I just avoid it. BUT… negativity here we come… sorry… my biggest beef is with some characterisation tropes.

I really hate the Sex God Cassian trope for reasons listed more eloquently by @arkham here and by @anghraine here. Aside from the discoursey part of it… just… the character is so wrong. I feel like going “Did you see the film? He’s a sad lonely boy with a droid for his only friend, who is late for informants, and loses his chill when he gets the lead he wants, never puts the moves on Jyn, and dies just wanting to hold her.” He’s not Mr Calculating Seducer Extraordinaire. You’re thinking of Casanova.

And, though I’m less violently opposed to it than the above, I am also not overly down with Fight Bot Jyn, the idea that Jyn is just up for a fight at all times. The way I read her character, she’s only really aggressive as a defence; she’s mostly just tired and wants out and if she could swap her life for one that has precisely Zero fighting she would do so in a heartbeat, at least until she finds something worth fighting for. She’s not just some scrappy lil can of whoop-ass.

Last of all, Timid Gibbering Mouse-Man Bodhi. We see him terrified, yes, and suffering the effects of mental abuse, but if there’s one character who is defined by his courage more than any other in the entire movie, it’s him. Nobody in the movie is ever like “PROTECT BODHI!” - they trust him and depend on him.

V: A secondary (or underrated) character you want to see more of in fic?OH YOU ALL KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS. Give me Draven. More Draven at all times. That complicated, mysterious, conflicted, vaguely paternal, distanced, aloof ENIGMA GENERAL MAN is my JAM.

(ask me fic questions!)

#ask me!

[jynzandtonic]

When the boys have a free day to do whatever they want with their girl, what do they wanna do?

Look I’m so sorry for this but

FINAL ANSWER

#SAFTB #all of the boys #yes ​I am an intellectual #adam sackler #dan jones #flip zimmerman #officer ronnie peterson #phillip altman #charlie barber #clyde logan #toby grisoni #rick smolan #jyn z bullshit #ronnie peterson x reader #adam sackler x reader #charlie barber x reader #clyde logan x reader #flip zimmerman x reader #toby grisoni x reader #phillip altman x reader #adam driver character

[jynzandtonic]

Can you tell us about Dom!BKJoe from the coffee skit and how he keeps us in line?

I’m so sorry for this and I wish I could restrain myself but…

HE SHOVES A BISCOOTIE IN YOUR MOUTH AND PULLS SOME KRAV MAGA ON YOUR ASS

#BK JOE #snl boys #LOLOLOL I'M SO SORRY #adam driver snl #adcu #jyn z bullshit

[jynzandtonic]

Wait. Wait. WOAH. I just got your 🐎. Clyde = short for clydesdale. Premium, well-muscled, hung like a... *dabs forehead* YEP. 🐌

WHEEEEW SALLY “*dabs forehead*” is RIGHT, and I am so tickled you got that reference hehehe 😹

And hey you might not say it but I sure will

CLYDE IS HUNG LIKE A FUCKIN’ HORSE JFC

#RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU FEEL PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY THESE PHOTOS BECAUSE I DO #clyde logan #a big beautiful clydesdale #jyn z bullshit #no filter #no ragrets #no regerts #adam driver character

[jynzandtonic]

well damn, jyn, now i hAVE to watch every Girls episode

YOU DON’T, NONNIE! YOU DON’T!!

Lean in real close. I’ll tell you a secret.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay, are you listening?

.

.

.

I haven’t even watched every episode of Girls.

Zero shade whatsoever to those who enjoy the show as a whole; personally, I tend to feel stressed out or emotionally drained by relationship-centered ~drama~ shows driven by chronically shitty communication skills. I guess I’m just too much of an emotion-sponge for it. HOWEVER, IF YOU ALSO DON’T WANT TO WATCH ALL OF GIRLS FOR WHATEVER REASON, YOU’RE IN LUCK!

Yeah anyway there’s this great account called Driver’s SuperCut. Check it out. Fun fact: this very same topic is how I originally got to know @ohiobluetip and @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog, who got me into the whole writing mess.

*cough* also here is a twitter thread from ieatboyss of all the AD sex scenes

#ask #oopsies #jyn z talks #jyn z bullshit #adam sackler #plz don’t drag me for not being a tru GIRLS fan #adam scenes only

[jynzandtonic]

okay but which one of the boys has the biggest dick 👀👀👀👀

So I’ll answer this out of typical format and say that you, dear reader, get to HC how thicc tha dicc is. Because it’s fucking fun. And you deserve it.

In my mind, because all of these characters are, uh, based off the same human body, they’re all about the same size... that size being, well, fucking huge. Just look at the guy. I don’t make the rules.

THAT SAID, there are two boys out of the already extraordinarily large-dicked pack that, for whatever reason, just have all-natural free-range USDA-organic monster-dongs: Clyde Logan and Officer Ronnie Peterson. How big, you ask? Uhh idk like...

#ask #jyn z snaccs #jyn z bullshit #I don’t make the rules #THEY ALL GOT BIG COCKS OKURRR #like you ain’t gonna walk right for a week #clyde logan #officer ronnie peterson #clyde logan x reader #ronnie peterson x reader #which of the boys

[jynzandtonic]

I’m reading an angsty Adam Sackler fic after reading a really angsty Kylo Ren fic I am ready to get hurt again 😌

Yo, I really like how zen you are about this whole thing, anon.

#that hurtded #*plugs ears* LA LA LA LA LA LA LA #jyn z bullshit #adam sackler fanfic

[jynzandtonic]

Not a snacc or prompt but tbh I feel like Sackler would randomly drop by with a glass dildo and ask you to use just bc he’s curious of how your pussy looks with this ‘transparent thing’ going in and out of it

yeah I’d say that’s canon

#adam sackler #a dude who does not need much of an extra reason to want to watch you stick stuff in your pussy #sackler snaccs #SAFTB #jyn z bullshit

[jynzandtonic]

Sackler would 110% stop moving in the middle of fucking and put his finger in your mouth to compare temperatures

Quick rebuttal to this:

It wouldn’t be his finger.

#ask #jyn z bullshit #adam sackler #compare and contrast #jyn z snaccs #sackler snaccs

[jynzandtonic]

Ok this is kind of a silly question but which guys do you think are speedo guys and which are trunks guys? I lowkey feel like sackler is straight in the middle but... idk lol !!!! ALSO!!! I loooooooved Swiped!!! So hot, and also cute xoxoxo

Thank you, anon! I’m so glad you enjoyed the fic :) And this question… was funny as fuck to think about. This technically came in after the writing ask pause, but it’s a quickie and hilarious, so… Swimsuit snaccs.

Adam: trunks, usually… but if you gave him the excuse to wear a skimpy lil’ speedo, fuckin’ duh he’d rock that shit so hard

Dan: trunks on vacation; swims laps at a fancy athletic club in a speedo

Charlie: same thing as above

Clyde: would not touch a speedo with a ten-foot pole

Rick: trunks, but like… short-short trunks, maybe a 3” inseam 

Flip: my dude, have you SEEN men’s swimwear from the late 1970s?

Phillip: wore a speedo as a joke once, hasn’t looked back since

Ronnie: you’d love to see him in a speedo, but he gets too bashful about his *ahem* size, so trunks

Toby: do not try to tell me this man doesn’t wear short-shorts

#ask #all of the boys #which of the boys #jyn z snaccs #jyn z bullshit #adam sackler #dan jones #charlie barber #clyde logan #rick smolan #flip zimmerman #phillip altman #officer ronnie peterson #toby grisoni #swiped fic

[jynzandtonic]

sackler is the type of boyfriend who would stick his fingers in your mouth when you yawn. change my mind

In response:

#ask #adam sackler #you’re right and you should say it #adam sackler x reader #jyn z bullshit

[jynzandtonic]

not an ask, just the result of drinking a whole bottle of vodka and quarantine: i've just watched the dead don't die and i want ronnie as my bodypillow because that man's THICC. that's it. that's my drunkass truth.

So I fuckin’ love you, and your drunkass truth is THE truth.

He’s just so snuggly. So thicc. So nerdy and precious and loveable. Here he is, my beautiful thick wife, I love him more than cheesecake

#LOOK AT DAT BELLY #RONNIE PETERSON BELLY APPRECIATION POST #LOML #officer ronnie peterson #dummy thicc #a whole meal #a plush body pillow #we have no choice but to stan #jyn z bullshit #also anon you are dealing with austerity the russian way and I fuck with it heavily

[jynzandtonic]

Sitting here wondering how to find Clyde to ask him nicely to blow my back out.

Well here’s my suggestion, anon.

First, you put on an original pressing of Night Moves by Bob Seger.

Then you pop open a bottle of Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon and have yourself a glass.

Then, you put your hand over your heart and say “I’m Feeling Lucky!” three times with your eyes closed...

And VOILA!

A Clyde Logan will appear to blow your back out!*

*results not guaranteed but participation encouraged

#ask #this is the ritual #follow it closely #I hope you’re feeling lucky #clyde logan #jyn z bullshit #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan/you #clyde logan imagine #logan lucky #clyde logan fanfic #clyde logan x you #clyde logan/reader

[jynzandtonic]

In that post with that anon asking if you've used a clot sucking toy, the picture of adam reminds me of that little girl with purple eyeshadow vine Ya know

goddamnit look what you made me do. i was supposed to be writing smut

#it’s like ‘if you give a mouse a cookie’ except ‘if you give an idiot photoshop’ #jyn z bullshit #incarcerate me please

[jynzandtonic]

So I was on an Adam Driver YouTube video binge and I saw a video where this guy said that Adam is pure 100% alpha, and I couldn’t agree more! He’s pure alpha even when he’s a skinny bean pole or Ben swolo 😛

... well, sure, but there is only one true alpha.

#MATT THE RADAR TECHNICIAN #adam driver snl #jyn z bullshit