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fabricated-misslieness · 2 years

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𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖗𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝕷𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘 Chapter 11: Bygone Memories

Hero Kaeya x Villain male reader

Summary: What you do in your teenage years shapes what will happen later on in life. This notion was true for you especially.

Word Count: 14,470

Warnings: swearing, drinking, mentions of violence, a cut, kissing, suggestiveness, death, death sentence,

Mayb’s notes: Germany's drinking age is 16, so Mondstadt's shall be too. I got over 10 images so I had to resort to using "<✦>" sometimes.

12 years ago...

Everyone in Mondstadt knew Master Crepus's sons, the Ragnvindr boys, and though the same thing cannot be said the other way around, it certainly felt like it.

The Ragnvindrs were charmers, as if trained to be so. Kaeya was most charismatic, having convinced half an entire market to buy him sweets at the ripe age of ten.

They were also quite skillful, with Diluc becoming the youngest Captain amongst the Knights of Favonius and Kaeya, having joined the year prior, surely following in his footsteps.

Together in a crowded plaza, they stood out effortlessly. Oftentimes it led to staring.

You'd always been raised with 'staring is rude' but when everyone else is also staring, it was fine, right? Plus, this was... subconcious. You hadn't meant to stare, really.

Although, what were they doing that was so special? They were walking—walking, like normal people, like you had been just moments before. Then, you could argue that everything they did was special, because the Ragnvindrs were special.

Anyway, they'd never notice the staring. They were having a conversation on the go.

Seems you were wrong about that.

As the conversation lulled for a moment, Kaeya allowed his gaze to drift off. There were many people in the plaza. It was hardly easy to avoid eye contact, especially when everyone was staring at you. Kaeya was used to it, had been used to it for ages. Each time his eye met another's accidentally, he gave a short, respectful nod and continue on; because that's how he was, respectful.

But for you... he held your gaze.

You look away from him, as if discovered, and hear him snicker towards your vague direction. This was embarrasing.

"What is it?" Diluc asks.

"Oh, nothing, brother." He replies.

He had caught your gaze a couple more times after that, whenever you passed by each other. Mondstadt was a big city, but somehow you always found each other. This was something he hadn't noticed before. In a crowd, each face was new, a passing stranger going about their way. You, though, he recognized each time.

Kaeya stood by his brother's side as he recited a written, assigned speech. In every other segment of the city, another Captain was reciting the very same speech. A festival, which one wasn't important, was coming along.

In the crowd of citizens, all who recognized him but he didn't, citizens who paid uninterrupted attention to Diluc, he saw you.

For the first time, he had noticed you first. Finally, now that you weren't staring either, he got to see you, to analyze you. You were mighty interesting to him.

And then another first. You caught his gaze.

Kaeya clears his throat, though you may not hear it, and turns back to surverying the rest of the crowd. A warmth rises to his cheeks. He felt... embarrased.

After that, it wasn't just he who caught your gaze, but you who caught his as well.

You had always been easy to spot amongst a crowd. Kaeya, too, for his dark blue hair, eyepatch, Knight of Favonius patch or armor.

But, when he was alone, it was a little harder; because sometimes he was trying not to be spotted.

"Yuck! That is– eugh, that is weird." You stuck out your tongue, at which your friends laughed.

Today was your sixteenth birthday. After the blowing of the candles and cutting of the cake, the adults had left you and your friends alone for what was the most important part of a sixteen year old (in Mondstadt)'s life: liquor tasting.

You had just drank your first beer. "The foam is disgusting."

"I don't think you're supposed to be drinking the foam." One of your friends remarks.

"You're wrong, actually." Another one says, their head propped up against their hand. "My dad says it's the good part."

"How would you know if he's right?!"

You were, amongst your friends, the oldest one and the first to turn sixteen. It almost seemed as though the rest only yearned to be sixteen for the drinking. "I don't want to inherit the bar if all the alcohol is this bad."

"You know, I heard Diluc say the same thing."

"Ragnvindr?" You snicker, "Isn't he set to inherit the winery, too? How awful would that be? Someone who dislikes alcohol running the liquor industry."

"The foam looks good to me..." Another friend says randomly.

"No it doesn't."

"Oh come on, it's got to be good!"

Your friends begin to bicker (in a theoretic manner), which you don't partake in despite being the only one who's drank enough of it to have an opinion. Oftentimes you liked to watch them instead of join in; because, oftentimes, your friends were quite entertaining.

Then, in the background, you spot him. He was watching.

Perhaps he let you find him. He himself didn't quite know and when you began to walk towards him, taking advantage of your distracted friends, he didn't have the time to think about it.

You muster up all the courage you had from the high of your sixteenth birthday and finally, after so long, greeted him. "Hey."

"Hello." He replied simply. "I'm–"

"I know you! You're Kaeya Ragnvindr... right?"

"Yeah." He chuckles. "Alberich, too."

"Right, yeah." You bite your lip and resist the urge to smack yourself on the forehead, "Of course, uh, everyone knows you." Before he can ease your worries, you continue, "I'm–"

"I know your name too, (y/n)."

"Ah, right, your dad and mine are competitors. Angel's Share and all?"

"No, no. It's not that. I'm not in a habit of scouting out my father's competition." He waves his hand dismissively, "I heard them sing your name earlier."

"Oh. Right," Yeah, that made sense. "you're– you're not here to spy on me—us."

"Happy birthday, by the way." He grins, and you notice that it's... the prettiest thing you've seen.

You nod, hoping the admiration doesn't show on your face. "Thanks."

Silence follows for a while, Kaeya's grin dissipates and your gaze falls to the ground. You don't know what to say, you don't have much to say at all. Except, 'Why are you here?' but you figured that was a little rude. Leaving him alone would be rude too. So...

"You know, I've noticed your staring–"

He cuts you off to mention, "And I've noticed yours."

You fight the shame from lighting up your face, "I was just wondering, do you want to um, hang out with me?" That sounded too intimate. "And my friends too!" Good save, idiot.

"Sure." He replies before the doubts can devour your mind.

"Good! Uh, we can share a beer or some–?"

"I'm not sixteen yet."

"You're not?" You blurt out without thinking. "I mean, with the knight stuff and all... I expected you to be older."

He chuckles, "Well, Diluc was named Captain a year ago, and he was fourteen. I think being a fifteen year old knight is just fine."

"Wow."

As time passed, you discovered that there was actually a lot you had in common. Whereas when you first met, you didn't have much to talk about (whether for awkwardness or the not knowing), nowadays you had a whole lot to discuss.

Out of all things to talk about, Kaeya was fond of talking to you about the knights. After all, you were one of his only friends outside the Knights of Favonius.

Diluc and Jean were his best friends, and they were both sticklers for the rules. Kaeya wasn't, at least not to a tee. He enjoyed finding loop holes and, when his and the knights' morality did not meet, breaking them entirely. When he got in trouble for it, Jean and Diluc scolded him.

When he talked to you about it, though, you were often on his side. He was glad for it.

After knightly duties each day, he hung out with you in the evening; although that meant it'd be too late for the walk home. Kaeya didn't like it, walking home after tiring work, especially because the Ragnvindr home was so far away from the city. If only his family was like Jean's; the Gunnhildrs lived in the heart of the city.

So he asked Crepus if he could stay with you at times, and he allowed him. Except, in almost no time, 'at times' turned it to 'many nights at a time'.

"He was just a kid. Probably seven, no older than nine, he didn't know any better." Kaeya sighs. "His father got fined."

"Just for a lollipop?"

"You bet."

You try to not let the thought of it put you down, instead thinking of something else. "Didn't you once convince half the market for a bunch of sweets?"

"Ooh, yeah, I did." He laughs, remembering it. "Well, that's the difference. I convinced them, didn't take it outright."

"Tell me more about it. That happened before I came to Mondstadt. I've only heard about it, and well, it's probably all hyperbole, no story by now."

Kaeya resists the urge to ask about your 'coming to Mondstadt' to answer your question first. "Well... I was a kid. Kids love sweets a lot. And, since I ask my father and he gives me sweets, so long as I haven't had many, I figured that the adults always had sweets ready to hand out."

You snicker, "Really?"

"Yeah." He laughs, "I really did. So I asked one merchant. My father had dealings with him often, so he knew me well. He didn't have any sweets on him, much to my surprise, but he handed me mora."

"No way! Mora? Straight mora?"

"Yeah. Who gives a child mora? I was a charming child, so I was told, so I assume that must be why. Anyway, many merchants didn't have any candy on them. Those that did, like the street food stalls, handed me some after I argued," He begins in a high-pitched voice, terrible impression of a child, "I haven't had any, I promise!' or 'You don't have to give them to any other kids. They would come crawling back like– like a pack of strays. I'm not like that!"

"Did you seriously compare kids to strays?"

"Yes–er, no, not directly. At least I hope." Though, he didn't doubt it. Kids could be viciously frank. "People only say half the market because there's a candy store in the center of the market, the one by Angel's Share, and by the time I'd come to it I had over a handful of mora. I spent it all on that stall."

"I mean, did you at least share with Diluc? That's like, your redeeming point."

"Yeah, and it was my downfall." He puts on the face of a sour kid, which makes you laugh. "He snitched on me."

"Damn. So much for being brothers."

"Right?!" He exclaims, even if he didn't hold a grudge for it anymore.

You laugh even harder at that. He takes advantage of the distraction to admire you, if for a moment, before you're coming down from the breathless laughter and his curiosities dig at him.

"What did you mean by 'before I came to Mondstadt'?"

Immediately, your face turns serious and the evidence of laughter disappears, even in the corners of your eyes. He feels like he's done something wrong, like he's overstepped your boundaries, but you respond before he can apologize. "I, uh, wasn't born in Mondstadt. I moved here five years ago and yet... I don't know why."

"Where were you raised then?" He can't help but ask.

"Um, I think a village built on land not quite claimed by either Sumeru or Mondstadt... I remember my childhood clearly, or as clear as possible, but I don't remember much from the year before I moved." You scratch your neck, trying to remember, but just like always, you can't.

"Something kind of similar happened to me too. My memories really only go down until I was like seven, and by then I had already been adopted by the Ragnvindrs."

"You were adopted?"

"The resemblance isn't exactly uncanny."

You shrug, "Yeah, but I figured I never met Mrs. Ragnvindr."

"There isn't one."

"Oh."

He brushes it off like nothing, "Anyway, I hardly remember what my father looks like, but I do remember a specific few words, the last thing he told me: You'll be safe with them." Kaeya looks down at his hands, which were fidgeting subconsciously.

Silence fills the room. Conversation goes empty, much like both your missing memories.

"So we're similar, then." You speak up. Curiously, he looks back up and catches your gaze. "Two people not quite from Mondstadt."

Kaeya laughs at both that and what he's about to say, "And with apparently shit memory."

"Like fate brought us together!" You grin.

Getting to know Kaeya meant getting to know his friends too, the other half of the famous Ragnvindr boys, Diluc, and Jean Gunnhildr.

You'd gotten about a minute into talking to Diluc until he started seeming uncomfortable, so you turned to Jean instead, hoping you didn't mess up already. Jean had taken notice of it and assured you that you were fine and definitely not on Diluc's 'avoid list'. He merely disliked small talk.

But what kind of talk were you suppose to talk if not small talk? You'd just met the guy. And, considering the fact that you and him seemed to disagree on things like Knights of Favonius morals, it was the only talk you'd be able to go through.

Maybe he'll form a better opinion of you by overhearing your conversation with Jean. It goes much the same like Diluc's: introductions, names and the like.

Then, she says, "Kaeya talks a lot about you."

You spare him a glance and see him trying to sneak away from you discreetly, "Does he now?" Though you're no fool and notice he's joking. If he really wanted to leave in secret, he'd be able to do it much more efficiently.

You see him take a deep breath before turning, wide grin on his face. "Guilty."

You roll your eyes at him, something else the observant Jean also notices. "You must be close." She remarks.

This prompts you to actually think of your relationship, and yeah, you are close. It's no guess or assumption either. "We are."

Kaeya notices the smile that acompanies those words.

Meeting your friend's friends tends to be awkward, so instead of trying to come up with conversations on your own, everyone tries to talk about something based off of the environment.

There's the merchants and their prices, Crepus's menu vs. your father's, liquor (somehow, with Diluc and Jean not being the biggest fans), dogs and cats, favorite foods, until eventually you'd somehow ended up on the topic of knighthood and protection. Did knights protect the city or the citizens?

After some debate, the answer had come down to the citizens, something both the Ragnvindrs had easily chosen. It was something they were compassionate about, protecting the people. However, Jean had argued that the knights also protected the city. There was no debating whether or not the citizens were protected by the knights, so that answer came easy. Then it came to whether it was both or just the citizens.

You posed the question, "If something came to destroy the city, only its buildings, would you protect it or evacuate the citizens and build anew?"

That really narrowed it down to the citizens. The city had a rich history, if it were to be destroyed, many important libraries and intricately built churches would have to come down with it. However, what had become clear was that the people were what really made up Mondstadt.

"Good question." Diluc says.

"Thank you."

"You know, you'd make a good knight." Jean remarks.

Both Kaeya's and your eyebrows shoot up high into your hairlines. "No." Kaeya denies it immediately, "I mean, look at him, he's weaker than a pickle."

"Kaeya, you have boasted about his strength before." Jean points out, not that you'd know.

Kaeya continues to deny, even if his brother can also back up Jean's statement. "I didn't say that. Must've been... someone else. You heard it from someone else, yeah. Must've been from Albert or something."

"Have you ever met Albert, (y/n)?" Diluc asks you.

"No." You reply with a laugh.

He laughs along with you, "Do tell us why he wouldn't be a good knight, dear brother."

Kaeya has nothing to say. He's known, for a long time, that you'd make a good knight. You loved Mondstadt as if you were raised here, even if you weren't. There were so many other reasons that he couldn't deny either.

"You've got nothing?"

He shakes his head with a sigh.

"Then I'll say why he would be a good one." Jean turns to you, "You've got the duty, responsibility, and ambition for it. But most of all, you have a love for the people. Why have we only just met? I'd have recommended you to Varka already!"

"I know why." Diluc speaks up. Being his brother, he knew him best.

Kaeya puts a hand over his mouth to shut him up, but Diluc just bites it. "Ow, Diluc!" He whines, "THE youngest Captain here, folks."

Diluc chooses to ignore him, "He wanted to keep (y/n) all for himself."

"What?" You blurt out.

Kaeya, on the other hand, covers his face in shame.

"Admit it, Kaeya." Diluc laughs, propping his chin up on his hand. "Your big brother knows you best! You can't deny it."

Instead of replying with words, Kaeya replies with actions. He knocks Diluc's elbow off the table, taking his head down with it.

The captain groans, but his pain is soon covered up by anger. "Oh, you little–!"

The Ragnvindr brothers bicker back and forth, leaving you and Jean to watch in amusement. You'd heard of this famous fighting before, but to see it in person was a different thing.

Kaeya was a charmer, but he was also annoying when he wanted to be. He baited his big brother into trying to get at him; then, as he predicted, he'd dodge whatever Diluc threw at him and as the red head recovered, he'd jab back.

"Alright, alright, that's enough you two." Jean stops them, as entertained as she is from their fighting.

Regardless, Diluc doesn't release his deathly grip from Kaeya's ponytail.

"Okay, fine, I admit it." Kaeya finally says, which causes Diluc to let go triumphantly.

"Was that so hard?" Diluc teases, despite being the one with the messy hair and clearly more pain.

"Maybe. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I bet that's something 'big brother' doesn't know, huh?"

Against your best friend's wishes, you'd joined the Knights of Favonius.

But before patrol, and all the boring stuff, came training. And even before that, there was a test that narrowed down your strengths and your weaknesses, what came to you as natural as breathing and what was beyond your inexperienced reach.

Your results had been similar to Kaeya's and, though odd, it meant you were taught by him. He was an exceptional knight, which delegated him the task of training recruits.

That also meant that he was your higher-up, and boy did he love to rub it in your face. He took every chance he had to do so. But, you suppose you should be grateful for this, he also gave you special treatment.

Even so, it didn't mean he'd hold back. There was an odd number of recruits, so when one on one sparring came around, he was your partner.

The amount of times he had his sword at your neck, or somewhere even more delicate, was too great for you to get back at him for. So there's that competition you'll never be able to beat him at.

"Stop trying to dance around me."

"Oh?" You snicker, "Or what?"

"I guess I'll start danncing too!"

Kaeya was fond of dancing around his opponents, it was his preferred fighting style. It didn't require as much work, or so he thought. When his opponent was tired out from all the failed strikes and lunges, he'd retaliate. As it turned out, you liked it too, even though you didn't know it was an entirely different style than the one you were being taught.

Kaeya would've liked to teach you, but this was the basics training and you weren't the only one trying to learn.

"That's it, I'm–"

Kaeya's 'heat of the moment' shout was promptly cut off by the man behind him. He had been so caught up in the sparring that he hadn't noticed the grandmaster himself approach him. "Mr. Ragnvindr?"

Kaeya whips around the entire one-eighty turn in a split second. "Grandmaster Varka!" He greets with a flourished bow, acting innocently to cover up his boisterous shout. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Varka simply laughs, "May I have some space?" He guides Kaeya off to the side with his arm so that he may not cover the recruit behind him; who was, well, you.

"You're (y/n)?" He asks.

"Yes, sir." You answer politely. This was the very grandmaster in front of you. If you weren't intimidated by his title already, his powerful figure would take the cake.

"Recommended by Jean and Diluc."

You press your lips together nervously as he continues.

"I can see why." He clears his throat and turns to Kaeya, "May I take him off your hands?"

"What?" Kaeya blurts out.

"What?" You find yourself doing the same.

<✦>

Grandmaster Varka was a busy man, not that the average citizen seemed to think so. For them, life was hardly, well, hard. There weren't any 'professional' bandits around, treasure hoarders infiltrating the city or danger in general.

For the grandmaster, however, danger was around every corner. The reconnaissance department told him of it every day, and so he appropriately assigned the other departments to take care of it. Then came some minor disputes not worthy of the King or a tribunal that he took upon himself to mediate. And finally came paperwork. Oh, paperwork. The pile was never empty.

At any rate, even he knew the importance of breaks. It was rather unfortunate that these breaks would still be filled with work, or at least that which was related. It never seemed to bother him anyway.

He liked to watch new recruits as they were trained. Each time there was a new group, he loved watching them grow from fledgeling to eagle. But this particular day, in this particular training group, there was a bird amongst the fledgelings, and he was most noticeable.

You.

"You know, for having the grandmaster as a trainer, I thought training would be more fun."

He rolls his eye, "Training is hardly fun."

He had you repeating the same three movements one after another, straight after each other. It was utterly boring; and you knew it, by the end of the day, you would end up sore and stiff as wood.

Granted, he was repeating them with you, like moral support; but it didn't help at all.

To top it off, there was more to his training than training. There was also speeches, lectures, lessons to be learned—what you would do just to crawl back to Kaeya's classes!

"Put your back into it."

"Your lunges are weak."

"Your footwork's all wrong."

"Are you actually trying?"

"What if I'm not?" You huff, leaving your sword arm by your side. Your arm was already swore after all that, then again after all these days, it was sore all the time.

He shakes his head and sighs disappointedly at you, but you don't pick up the work again. "Training is important, and–"

"And I'm not even sure if this is actually training! What progress is there to make?" If it weren't for exhaustion, you'd be throwing your arms up in the air to make a point. "All there is just ha! Hu! Ah!" You repeat the motions he'd taught you, "Rinse and repeat!"

"You don't think it important?" He remains calm, as if laughing at your frustration.

"No." You snap without hesitation.

"Alright then. Spar me."

That catches you off guard, "What?"

"You heard me, recruit. Spar me. That's training, right?" You couldn't disagree with that, and Varka knew that. You'd be too weak for him, he'd win the fight easily, and you'd return to the training he'd set out for you. It was an easy plan.

Varka readies his sword, you ready yours. There is no whistle, no call to signify the start of the spar, just movement.

The grandmaster takes the offense, which inevitably makes you take the defense.

You try, as hard as you can, to turn the tides of the fight; to take the offense and win the fight. But each opportunity you take, Varka parries, counterattacks, and moves on.

He makes it look so easy.

You imitate the way he parries, blocks and deflects. It makes your defense stronger; but you can't win the fight without taking offense.

When you find the final opportunity, your back hits a wall.

Varka takes a lunge which you block, but in a swift movement, the tip of his blade snags under your handguard and twists the hilt out of your grasp.

You can't lose like this.

Magic. It calls your name. After six years, it finally returned to you.

"You see, (y/n)–" Varka blinks, and suddenly, you've got your sword to his neck.

You snicker, "You were saying?"

He blinks again and again, rapidly, as he tries to figure out what just happened. He can't come up with a conclusion on his own, not when he saw the sword begin to fall to the ground just a second ago. "What happened?"

"I called my sword to my hand." You say, simply, drunk on the joy of victory. It was no easy task, using magic after so long, but it came naturally.

"Fascinating." Varka grins. He doesn't let the defeat get to him, he'd felt defeat so many times already in his lifetime. "You– I underestimated you. Yes, yes, you were right. From now on, we train from dawn to dusk."

"What?"

"I'll bring a battle mage. They'll train you on that, and I'll train your swordfighting. I'll teach you everything I know!" He rambles on, a sparkle in his eye.

You got far more than you bargained for.

After those six months of training, you had made yourself a reputation. At first, it was the Knight that Varka trained, then it became Mage Swordsman, and Undefeated.

You had everything that Diluc and Jean expected from you.

But, after so little time, it became clear to the Knights that Kaeya was influencing you. To prevent that, they put the two of you in different departments. Kaeya remained under his dear brother's command while you were put in reconnaissance, under another young Captain, Eula.

Quickly, however, the actual truth came out. You were simply similar, it wasn't Kaeya influencing you. And the switch in departments? It didn't stop the two of you from meeting up with each other, whether during work hours or no.

Speaking of, most Knight meetings were quite honestly boring, and sometimes so was patrol. So when you both knew there was nothing to lose, you would skip your duties.

By the time you were seventeen, you had mastered the way of avoiding the rest of the knights, which was impressive because you'd only spent about a third of your year as a sixteen year old as a knight.

You had to admit, knight work was much harder than you thought, and you sort of understood why Kaeya wanted to keep you far from it. Regardless, the benefits outweighed the exhaustion. Keeping the citizens safe was a wonderful reward. There was no quitting now.

The harder part of skipping was avoiding other knights so that they wouldn't discover you, and like Diluc, snitch on you.

Oftentimes it meant you had to hide in... cramped places.

"For the love of– move the other way!"

"I have no more space!"

"Yes you do! I can clearly see some space right there!"

"No I don—Oh," He chuckles, "I do."

"Then move already!"

"Shh, shh! They're coming this way–"

Silence... Did you also mention you'd gotten extremely good at staying still in uncomfortable positions and holding your breath?

One thing new about today, though, was that the hiding spot was different. It was cramped, yes, and so were many others, but the space was distributed differently. You'd hidden in mostly sort of tube-y spaces that had you alongside each other, not something like this.

"Are they gone?"

"Yeah, I think so."

You turn back to each other with grins, then realize. He notices first, moving his eye the other way as if something was wrong. "What's up, another one coming?"

"No." He replies with a gulp.

"What is it, then?" You notice it now. "Oh."

If either of you so much as moved your head to the side, it'd force the corner of your lips to meet.

"Ahem," You clear your throat, trying to diffuse the awkward... tension and silence. "how about you turn this way and I'll turn that way?"

"Sounds good." He mutters.

"Alright." You don't nod, afraid it'd force something.

You turn towards the inside of the crevice while Kaeya turns the other way and manages to stumble out. You follow suit.

"That was–"

"I'm sorry for suggesting that spot."

"I thought I did?"

"No, I did."

"No, it was definitely me."

"Then I'm sorry for following along." Kaeya presses his lips into a thin line, "I mean, it was a small space. I was a fool to even accept."

"No, no, you can't blame yourself like that. Going along, after I convinced you? You're not the one to blame. I–"

Before you can continue, Kaeya grabs a hold of your collar. Then he brings you forward, towards him, and kisses you. It doesn't take you long to reciprocate—you'd be lying if you said you weren't thinking about it.

"Then let's say neither of us is the one to blame." Kaeya says, charming smile on his face. Excitement almost leads it to break out into a grin.

The kiss was short, much too short for your liking. Instead of replying, you cup his cheeks and bring him back to you. Kaeya laughs into the kiss, not even trying to flinch away from shock.

You part from him only for a moment so that you may speak. "If it means we get to kiss then, whew," Kaeya laughs and you, for the love of Favonius, love it. "gladly."

Your parents told you that Kaeya and you were in your honeymoon phase, which was weird because you weren't even married. If it implied something bad, the words 'honeymoon phrase' hardly meant anything to you, anyway. Maybe they would later, but at the moment you couldn't think of anything except him.

It seemed that thinking went both ways.

"Hey." Kaeya greets breathlessly, as if he's been running.

"Kaeya? Hey." You greet with a laugh as you stare him up and down. He's dripping wet from head to toe, hair slick and clothes soaked in water. Clearly, he's not got an umbrella on him. "What are you doing here? It's storming outside!"

"I wanted to see you." He says, as if it's the simplest thing in the world.

"During a thunderstorm? Couldn't have waited 'till it was over?"

"Nuh-uh!" He says childishly. "I mean, what if the rain lasted the entire day? I'd have to wait until tomorrow. Besides," He shrugs off his jacket and hangs it, "I really wanted to kiss you. Still do."

"That badly, huh?" Not that you're complaining.

"Mhm."

Kaeya brings you in close for a kiss, pressing his soaking wet clothes against your dry ones. You were far too into it to really care, though. When you part to let Kaeya further into your home, he bursts out laughing.

With a raised brow, you stare where he's staring, straight at yourself.

Everywhere that Kaeya had pressed against you, along with his arms that had wrapped around your back, was marked by water. "Look at what you've done." You chuckle, "I'm gonna have to change now."

"I'd like to see that."

"Kaeya!"

<✦>

Of course, you couldn't let your boyfriend (Gods, you loved that. Your boyfriend) hang around with wet clothes. He could catch a cold! You didn't want that. Otherwise, you might get sick from kissing him.

When you emerge from your closet in a fresh change of clothes, you catch Kaeya staring down at himself. He pulls the collar of your shirt away from his chest, and you're not sure if he's staring at the clothing or his body. His emotions are indiscernible, which in itself is worriesome.

"Are you alright, darling?"

Kaeya purses his lips, eye darting between you and the clothes, back and forth as if he's deciding something. "Yeah." He says at first. "Just..."

"Are my clothes too big?" You ask, "Too small?"

"No, no, none of that. Just..." He trails off when he begins to explain himself again. His eye settle on the clothing.

Ah.

"Is it cause it's mine?"

Kaeya seemes to shrink in on himself, "No!" He shouts, letting go of the shirt collar and covering his face. If he's trying to deny it, he's doing a terrible job. "Err... yeah." He admits.

You smile smugly, taking advantage of his covered eye to crawl behind him on the bed.

"Well, you are my boyfriend." Kaeya yelps at your sudden proximity and flinches back, straight into your arms as planned. "What better way to show everyone than by having you wear things that are also mine?"

"Oh, for Barbatos's sake..." You hear Kaeya mutter under his breath.

You snicker, wrapping your arms around his midriff and pulling his back against your chest as you sink down against the bed. Kaeya ends up in your embrace, shuffling so he can lay his head next to yours. "You're infuriating, you are." He says.

"Oh, am I?"

He can't help but laugh, "Yes you are."

"Infuriating enough for a kiss?" You ask, leaning closer to him.

"I think that'd mean the opposite but," He stares into your eyes, and admires your face; your lovely, kissable face. "how could I resist?"

He leans in to kiss you.

<✦>

The next day, you both get up early for knight duties. Unfortunately while you were distracted, your parents had taken Kaeya's clothes to be cleaned. Of course, in their eyes, it was an act of service. Little did they know it meant that not only did he have to borrow sleeping clothes from you the day before, but also a Knight's uniform today.

Knights' uniforms were labeled with names so as to not cause confusion, so not only was Kaeya wearing your clothes, he was also technically labeled as yours.

The quartermaster waits by the front door yet again waiting for you. He looked much the same as yesterday, flustered as he stares down at himself.

"Well, well, well. I thought wearing my clothes was enough." You stand at the top of the stairs, smug look on your face he wants to wipe away. "But this? This takes the cake."

"Oh, shut up." Kaeya groans, but even he can't keep the grin off his face. When you make it down to him, he pulls you in for a kiss.

"The quartermaster, labeled as mine." You say triumphantly as you part. "You can keep these, by the way."

Kaeya would be lying if he said his heart didn't flutter.

<✦>

On the eve of Kaeya's seventeenth birthday, you and him had gone on a night out in town, far from both your parents' bars and to the others. Tomorrow was for family celebration: balloons, candles, confetti, and giant hugs. Today was for just the two of you: dim lights, satisfying delights, and a personal blight—even if it meant he'd start his birthday morning sour and hungover.

Spoiling him came easy to you. You had earned plenty from the knight work, which naturally meant that he had too, but the lack of income difference didn't divert your objective of the night.

Speaking of, it had been spent well. The rush of excitement and fun felt like a waterfall, permanently ongoing and always gushing. The cats at the Cat's Tail had begun your evening with serene cuteness, then the drinks fueled the rest of your night.

With bottles to go, you began exploring the city. Living here for over five years, and having the time from skipping work, you had known it almost like the back of your hand; that was, your district of the city. You hadn't explored much of the rest of it.

You had hoped to find a hidden gem, somewhere nice and secluded with a good view of the night sky and an even better lounge.

As luck would have it, your goal was accomplished, and you spent much of the night there basking in each other's presence.

But, like a waterfall, the fun had to fall somewhere.

Although you don't recall when you had changed your name to 'fun'.

"Ah, shit!"

You thought you had mastered what was the physical activity of going down the steps of staircase well enough by the age of three. At the very least well enough to not fall.

You had thought wrong.

You fall on your back, half on the stairs, half on the landing. The edges are rough in places you definitely didn't want. At first, as you were drunk both in love and in liquor, you had laugh the whole ordeal off.

Kaeya came to you quick, a giggle upon his lips. He had pulled you off the floor unceremoniously, then pressed a quick kiss to your lips. "Prince charming to the rescue."

You glance down at your shoes, "Last time I checked, Cinderella lost her shoe."

"Maybe you will, at the end of the night." It almost sounds like he was hoping for it. "There's still another bit of stairs up ahead."

You had laughed at that again, then continued on your journey back home. But, as you take your first unassisted step, you nearly fall over again.

Had the pain in your voice not been so clear so quick, Kaeya would've joked about that coming sooner than he thought.

"You alright, love?" He asks, squatting down beside you and propping your torso up on his lap.

"Mmmf, no–no," You wince, finally feeling the excrutiating pain. "I don't think so."

"Well shit." He says.

The moment had sobered you up. Like a real damsel in distress and his prince charming, Kaeya needed to bring you up like a bride in his arms and take you to the nearest Knight's Headquarters. They'd be the only people awake this time of the night.

So there you were that dawn, far from the last destination of your plan. Whereas you'd planned to be sharing a sweet–whether dessert or kiss–on your balcony back at home, you were here at a foreign Knight of Favonius HQ, being treated by foreign knights on a foreign district.

Not to mention you had indeed lost your shoe, somewhat.

Here you were, one shoe on the good leg, cast on the bad leg, and lost shoe on the floor beside your (foreign) bed.

Worst of all, Kaeya was sent back home. This was not how you wanted to spend your sunrise.

<✦>

The next day, the foreign HQ had sent you back to your home province. However, they had sent you not home to your parents or their bar, but to the district's HQ. The worst part about it was the humiliation that had come from the Knight friends.

That was something you did not wish to remember, and in fact, it was also something you wish you could erase from your memory.

Kaeya's birthday celebration had gone well, or as well as it could've gone with your broken ankle. He had eased you as best he could, stating that the ankle didn't change things and that you were still his boyfriend (which you knew, and the fact he felt the need to say it was offending).

Regardless of the injury, the day was actually one you would cherish in your memories for a long time. But that day was not what led you on this path; it was the weeks following.

Since you had been rendered immobile, you had been assigned the lowly job of assisstant librarian whilst you recovered. The new librarian, Lisa, had to get accomodated to the new books and such that had been added whilst she was gone.

With you being bored, you had chatted with her a lot. She was fond of relaxation and breaks but, at the end of the day, there was still work to do. Mostly book collection. In the absence of a dedicated librarian, many books had been borrowed and never returned. The list had grown long in the years that Lisa was away at the Academia, and she had made up her mind to shorten it.

So finally, you were alone in the library. Lisa had done much of the organizing duties you were both assigned to, so you were left with nothing to do but sit and await her return so you could continue talking.

Though, as she left, she gave you a piece of advice: "Books contain much wisdom, and if it is not that that you are seeking," She pauses with a chuckle, "they can also entertain you."

You decided to take her advice.

Many books with titles or covers that had interested you ended up being lengthy novels. You didn't think you had the time to finish them by the time your ankle was healed. So, regrettably, you left them on the shelf and continued searching.

A lot of books had caught your eye. However, it was not until you had unknowingly wandered into the restricted section that you found a book that you'd commit yourself to.

The Extinct Magics of Teyvat. That was the one.

Lisa was gone for the rest of the afternoon, which meant she wasn't here to scold you and lock the book away somewhere safe.

You had read through the introduction, noticing that it was not a story book and an actual book on learning these 'magics'. So you had decided to put the book away. However, when you found the place you had gotten it from, you realized its true nature. It was a forbidden book. That had piqued your interest even more.

Upon reading past the introdcution, you found the reason why these practices were extinct. They were extremely taboo and clashed with your morality. However, after reading about them, you had discovered their use. Most were far more than useful, they made so many things much better.

Telepathy! It could reveal the master plans of thieves, their patrols and future goals. Sanguimancy could elongate lives.

Necromancy was far from what you thought it was. It wasn't (only) summoning the dead to your malicious command. It was also a healing magic.

This magic could make the world better.

You were going to learn one of these, if not all. You were determined to do so.

Over the weeks as your ankle healed and Lisa left the library, the book had become your teacher. Its techniques became your techniques, its morals seeping into yours.

And, once you had finally healed, you practiced even more. To mask your sudden interest in magic books, you had taken up illusion magic as well. It could be used well on the battlefield and it was the perfect magic for distraction, the perfect mask.

When the mask had been perfected, you were able to take the book (disguised as another) and practice in your spare time, even if it meant it had to be in hiding.

<✦>

"To protect the citizens of Mondstadt," A steel, ceremonious sword engraved with ancient writing meets the top of your head, "under Favonius's watchful eye," your left shoulder, "and with permission from the King," and your right shoulder, "I declare you 'Illusionary Knight'."

Varka had always kept a serious face in these crownings. But, what you'd never notice if you weren't kneeling at his feet, is his subtle smile. He smiles down softly at you, knowing you as the culmination of his teachings.

You smile back up, letting your grin be shown to the world.

<✦>

When you were given the title 'Illusionary Knight', you knew the world would be better for as long as you helped it.

You think your ten year old self would be proud of you.

The little boy had always been good at magic. He had little else to do, as he was new to Mondstadt, terribly shy and had a lot of spare time on his hands. You had always known he had an affinity for magic, but he knew it most. Finally having access to a library and books to learn from, he had borrowed a book from the library, one that another young magic user had recommended.

They were basic spells, but still, they would be hard for beginners. He, however, had not found them hard.

In only a month, he had learnt the summoning of the four basic elements decently. Then, he had learnt the other elements: electo, cryo, and dendro.

But, as he grew older, he needed to help his parents. He was a growing boy, and he needed to grow his sense of responsibility. He had begun to stray away from magic in favor of helping his family grow into Mondstadters.

Then, finally, came the day where he returned the book.

The ten your old you would be glad to have magic back. It was the thing that interested him most. It was his passion.

Only seven years later, it has become your passion again. You were doing him justice.

The first magic you had learned from the book, as well as the first you had perfected, was Necromancy. It was the farthest from what you thought it was, a healing magic, a fighting magic, and always a magic that benefited the world in the right hands.

You thought your hands were the ones fit for the job.

When the regular healers had worked themselves to the bone, burnt out and energyless, a necromancer could take over. When the army needed numbers, one necromancer could work the same as hundreds of men.

Most of all, necromancers needed a sense of responsibility. To be able to give and take away any and all life force, one needed to know a life's value, and well at that. Learning the magic, practicing it to its extents, it gave you that, the right judgement, and much more.

You knew Necromancy was a great magic, but you also knew many people thought otherwise. You couldn't convince an entire kingdom, especially its stubborn king, to think of Necromancy in a different light.

So, you practiced in secret, then executed the magic in secret.

Once the people's faith in you had been secured, you would convince those close to you that Necromancy wasn't what people thought it was. You would show them.

For some reason, you thought everyone would understand.

<✦>

Necromancy was a hard magic to practice. For one, you had to do it in secret. For two, you needed something alive to test it. Most of the magics in the book did, anyway. For the moment, you had only practiced using your own life force. Today you were going to try something new.

You knew you were only going to do good with Necromancy, but it was scary to manipulate another's life force. Not to mention the ethics of it.

Animals would help you, you thought. After practicing on them, you'd treat them to a meal. If they didn't run away.

Phew. Here goes nothing.

"Hey, darling–"

"AH!" You turn quickly, hand forward and fingers splayed, ready to use some kind of spell to knock whoever found you out. You didn't even know such a spell.

"Relax." Kaeya puts his hands up in the air in surrender, "It's just me."

"Oh," You breathe out a sigh of relief, your offensive stance entirely deflating. You sink down to the floor. "good. Barbatos's breath... oof, you gave me a scare."

"Sorry about that." He smiles cheekily. "What were you practicing?" He raises a brow, staring at the bird trapped in a cage. As far as he knew, you didn't own a pet bird.

"Necromancy."

"Ah."

The exchange was simple, as he already knew. He'd helped you with the Amber and book fiasco a week ago.

"And you've chosen a bird to be your test subject?" He grimaces, "Cruel."

He was just joking, you knew that. Regardless, it frightened you deeply. You didn't want to use Necromancy to hurt anybody! He notices your troubled look. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

You stare down with a frown. "Yeah, I know."

"Hey," His hand meets your chin and he uses that to make you look up at him. "If it makes you feel better, you can practice on me."

"What?" You blurt out, flinching away from his hold, "No way."

"I'll understand!" He assures. "That little bird over there? It won't know."

You sigh as you think about it. He was right. Of course he was. But Kaeya? You didn't want to hurt him! You couldn't hurt him. You didn't even know if you had it in you.

"Trust me, darling." He comes closer to you again, slower this time. "I won't mind."

"Gods, Gods." You repeat, "Fuck, okay."

Kaeya grins, hopping in place excitedly. "You can do it, (y/n)."

"Yeah." You nod. He was right. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, remembering everything that you'd learned so far from the book. The healing spells using your own life force and the new lesson on using other's life force. Here goes nothing.

"Wow." He groans, and your eyes immediately snap open, only to see that he was stretching. "I feel," He yawns, "tired. Was that it?"

"Just tired?" You ask.

"Yup. Oh, oh wait, ow..."

"What? What is it?" You perk up, immediately rushing over to his side. "Were you injured already?"

"Yeah, I didn't think anything of it though. I cut myself entering this little bush clearing of yours." He shows you his thumb which has a little cut on it. "Oh." He says, finally seeing the wound again.

Traces of magic wave in the wind above the cut. They're black in color and move like smoke. "Shit! I'm sorry." You move quick to fix your mistakes.

"Nah, it's alright." He assures, giving you the best smile he can muster. He was under a lot of pain that he didn't want you to know about. "I told you to practice on me."

Using the life force you had taken from him, you heal him. The cut on his thumb closes over like nothing, and the skin looks normal. Most importantly, all his pain ceases. "Wow." Kaeya says again. There's a sparkle in his eye. "That was cool."

"Yeah, I think it's pretty cool." You agree, your eyes still on his thumb.

When you stare up at him again, his eye is already on yours. The shock causes you to shy away a bit.

"Aw, c'mere." He beckons, though he doesn't wait for you to do it on your own. Instead, he pulls you into a hug, letting you rest your nose against his shoulder. "You didn't hurt me, love."

"I know I did..." You sigh into his shoulder, "don't hide it from me."

"Alright." He admits, "You did well, though. The spell worked as intended, and you healed me as well."

That, you couldn't deny. "Yeah."

"You're going to do great things."

<✦>

"You remind me of a peacock."

Kaeya snickers, "Do I, now? Out of all animals, a peacock. Silliest name in the animal kingdom."

"Oh, shut up. It's not about the name." But you laugh too. It's a laugh that rumbles out of your chest and Kaeya can feel its vibration as he lays his head on you.

"Then what is it about?" He asks, drawing circles on your arm.

"Peacocks spread their wings to win the girl's heart, yeah? But they're not spread all day, every day, otherwise they'd be too eye-catching and fall prey to predators." He hums in affirmation. "Well you're a charming guy when you need to be."

"Is that how I won your heart? I spread my wings?"

You roll your eyes, "I'm not done yet. You're pretty much resident interrogator when we manage to find a treasure hoarder in the midst of their plan. You're not threatening them or anything like Diluc, you're coercing the information out of them. So basically, you spread your wings."

"So what I said earlier was correct."

"Suppose so.." You grumble. "Anyway, sometimes you try to go at things unnoticed. Like when we're skipping meetings together? You've retracted your wings."

"Still a little weird. I mean," He laughs at what he's about to say, "you can't just go around calling me peacock."

"Who says I was going to? I'm just thinking out loud over here! Although, I could find nicknames that derive off of it. How about, hmm," You hum as you think, "sweet pea?"

"Awfully corny."

"You liked it though."

<✦>

Kaeya hums to himself as he works away. It's a tune you hardly recognize, but it's nice to listen to all the same. You find your thoughts drifting away from the constant snip of scissors and to the melody's possible origins.

It wasn't of Monstadt-make. It didn't sound like anything a tavern bard or Mondstadt's classical musicians had made before.

Then, if it was foreign, where could Kaeya have heard it from? He was too young or low rank for Knight expeditions. Perhaps it came from a traveler, but then why would it stick with him?

Snip.

"Sweet pea?" The nickname had stuck.

"Yeah?"

"What're you humming?"

Sniiip. He pauses in his movements. You sat in front of him as he cut away at your hair, so you couldn't see his expression. Maybe he hadn't even realized he was humming a tune and was busy recalling it, but why had he paused for so long? "Kaeya?"

He clears his throat, "Sorry, um," Snip. "I don't really know. I only know it came from my childhood."

"Ah." No wonder he had stopped so abruptly. "It seems a lullaby."

Kaeya hums it to confirm it himself. "Yeah, you're right. Maybe my mother sung it to me." He trails off with a sigh.

His mother. In every waking moment of his life, Kaeya had never had a mother. He didn't remember his life without the Ragnvindrs, and there was no Mrs. Ragnvindr. No mother figure... except the maids of Dawn Winery.

"What's it like to have a mother?"

"Uhm.." You bite your lip. You'd always had one. The concept wasn't exactly easy to explain. "It's like she knows everything about you, even if you haven't told her. She can sense when you're not feeling your best, and she's always there whenever that's the case. She cares for you deeply. When you're younger, she's there, at your bedside, reading you stories; and when you're growing older, she's explaining growth to you."

"Crepus did a lot of those things." Kaeya notes.

"I suppose Crepus had to juggle both roles... She cuts your hair for you, too."

"Does she?" He laughs. It lightens up the mood.

"Well... there's that. I'm done." He declares, spinning your chair around to face him and handing you a hand mirror. "There goes a year's worth of hair. Why'd you want to grow it, anyway?"

"Wanted to see how long it'd get in a year." You say, staring at the new haircut. "I'm a bit surprised it didn't reach your length."

"This is over ten years of growth, (y/n)." He snickers, "Dunno what you were expecting."

"I mean, at least you gave me a new style." You remark. "I like it."

<✦>

Days out in the market, when work was slow and you were allowed more breaks, were a fun time. Today, though, Kaeya was still working and you weren't. You had to admit it was a bit boring. Every moment without him was dull.

The merchants advertised their wares with calls and shouts, "Fresh bread available!"

"Dessert for your sweet tooths! Everyone's got one!"

Among these, a child shouts as loud as the adults. "New flowers for sale! Limited time only! Flowers from out Mondstadt! Sweet peas, laven–"

Sweet peas?

Without a thought, your feet carried you to the stall. "Flora?"

The kid smiles at you, waving a hand over her flower pots. "That's me, and these are my flora! Refrain from touching, but don't refrain from buying."

You chuckle, "Damn, already in the business, ey?"

"You betcha!" She giggles innocently, a contrast from her next words. "Don't stand still and clog up the line."

You can't disobey the kid's orders, but you knew what you came for anyway. "Could I get a bouquet of sweet peas?"

<✦>

Kaeya was clearly tired. He rested his head against Jean's desk, his head propped up on his arms. He wasn't sleeping, as exhausted as he was. He still had work to do, a fresh pile of paperwork. Was this the life of a captain? Suddenly he wasn't looking forward to being one anymore.

"Are you okay, sweet pea?"

He lifts his head up with a sigh, "As okay as can be. I thought captain work would be more fun but," He gestures towards the desk, which is covered in papers. "clearly not."

"Hm." You hum as you glance over it. "Varka just had to leave, didn't he?"

"And Jean just had to be acting grand master and she just had to choose me to take over her work." He groans, covering his face with his hands nad rubbing at his temples.

"You are the quartermaster."

"I regret accepting." The words come out muffled. Then, he remembers your work day. "How was the break?" He says, somewhat scornfully.

"Productive." You reply cheerfully. It's as if you have a hop in your step.

"Oh yeah? How?" It's only then that Kaeya notices you've got your hands behind your back. "What're you hiding from me?" He asks, suspicion in his tone.

"Oh, nothing." You declare, grin only widening.

"Love, I don't have the time for this." He gives you a pointed look. "The thread of patience I have left is about to snap and you don't want to see what happens."

"Okay, okay." You raise a hand in surrender. The other one stays behind your back but for a moment. The next second, you're brandishing the bouquet of flowers. "I got you these."

For the first time since he was given captain duties, Kaeya smiles. "What are they?"

You hand them over and Kaeya inspects them, but neither of you are really gardeners. "Sweet peas." You say.

He shakes his head with a huffed laugh. "Sweet peas for your sweet pea?"

"Yeah." You affirm as you round the desk. "You callin' yourself mine?"

"I thought we'd established this." He replies, glancing up at you from the flowers. His eye is forming that happy crescents. You feel accomplished.

"Oh, yeah, maybe." You rub your chin, like you had a long wizard beard, as you feign thinking about it. "Think it was in the heat of the moment though. Did it count?"

"Yeah, it did." He reaches forward for you, but you skirt around his touch.

"I mean," You scoff, "really?"

"Look, darling, we're not drinking tea like Jean and Eula do. C'mere." He beckons.

"Truly?" You persist, feigning consideration, humming like you're meditating and rubbing at your chin.

"Fucking hell." Kaeya mutters. He stands from his seat, basically chasing down the small couple of steps there are between you and taking you in his arms. He abandons the flowers at his desk. "Do you have to be so difficult?"

"Yes." You answer cheekily.

He rolls his eye, "You hardly deserve the kiss I'm 'bout to give you."

"Oh, yea–?" You're cut off as he kisses you, like he promised.

A year later, after spending your eighteenth mastering Necromancy and your ninteenth beginning to make the world a better place, disaster struck.

One day, a Fatui hideout near Mondstadt was exposed to the Knights. Along with its location, information of its malicious plans and doings were also spread. The Fatui themselves didn't know that they had been exposed, so the Knights planned to infiltrate the hideout and cease its operations forcefully before anyone could be harmed.

What none of you knew was that the Fatui had let the information of its existence spread deliberately. They were not planning to infiltrate Mondstadt at all.

They waited in ambush.

The knights were outnumbered. What was to be a silent infiltration became a loud, violent bloodshed.

Reinforcement party after reinforcement party was called in. One by one, only some soldiers came back battered and bruised and broken, but still they proclaimed that the fight was not over.

In the end, it was the knights with hard-earned titles that saved the day, though that you would not know.

The latest reinforcement party had been sent. You were to be sent in the next.

All around you, in the makeshift medic's tent, lives were ending. Valiant warriors struggled to not succumb to their end. Those of which had been sent on the mission initially, or at least those that had made it back, could barely keep their eyes open. It was a graveyard.

However, thanks to your Necromancy, you knew who would make it. Even if their life force drained right in front of your eyes, you knew they'd pull through.

So you assured them, you assured each of them that they could rest, that the knights would win and that they'd continue their lives peacefully.

But there were two people that had come back from the battle that concerned you the most. One of them, you knew, was on the brink of death. The other would soon join them.

One of their life forces was draining rapidly... the other had some hope.

Perhaps you could save one of them if you just used your magic.

That's what you should've asked yourself. You should've considered the consequences, thought your predictions out fully. But you weren't thinking.

The least amount of people had to die, and if it meant one instead of an almost impossible two, so be it.

With the wave of your hand, someone drew their last breath and someone else regained theirs.

You were foolish. Oh so foolish.

<✦>

You had been found out, of course. Medics were still working away trying to save them and sorcerers could sense the magical death, especially when it left behind traces of Necromancy.

At the time, you had thought you made the correct decision.

Even as you laid your back against the harsh stone of your so called cot, staring up at the brick ceiling and the sparse overgrowth of your cell, you thought you were in the right.

Even if you barely knew if you'd ever see someone else again.

Varka had visited you first, accompanied by two royal guards. It was as if all his trust for you was gone, as if you'd attack him outright if it weren't for the cuffs around you wrists. He reprimanded you on your choices, berated you on your thoughts. He said you weren't in your right mind. And that book of yours? He'd discovered it.

You thought the grand master had always been fond of you, you knew it. He had always had faith in you and your abilities, believing that you could tackle anything in your path. There was reason he taught you all of that.

While you weren't wrong, his faith and reputation in you had been shattered instantly once he had learned of your wrongdoings.

You had tried to convince him, then, that you had done the right thing. And you had tried again–only then, instead on Necromancy's benefits–the many other times he visited you.

You could sense he believed you in some way, even if he did not show it.

But that would come later. The second man to visit you was the king himself. He was accompanied not only by the same two royal guards Varka was with earlier, but by many more as well; as if he had brought his entire arsenal. His lack of trust in you was evident.

He did a lot of things, a lot of unkingly things; but you've never really considered him a king anyway.

He calls you names, a disappointment to the Knights and your parents, a low life... but more importantly, he orders your execution right in your face.

The days ahead of you were numbered.

In three months time, your head would be severed by guillotine.

And within those months, the wounded knights would recover and new knights would be recruited. The Knights of Favonius would stabilize again.

As for your death? It would be posed as a lesson. Don't be a fool. Don't learn magick.

At first, you couldn't believe it. The king had a history of not following his own word. Most of all, he was a coward. He had never sentenced someone to death before— not personally. He didn't send out these orders on his own. He had someone else, someone more competent like a prison warden, decided the fates of the wrongdoers.

But he showed up to you and practically spat in your face. You had no doubt he was awful. Awful enough to order a death sentence? It was possible.

Should you break out the shiv? Take the fork from your meals and start a tally mark on the wall?

You ponder this as you stare at the ceiling. You ponder a lot of things staring at the ceiling, some other times you stare at the plant sprouting from the barred window at the very top of the wall.

Life finds a way, even in a place of this. A place of your misery.

Maybe you were in the wrong. Maybe that knight had hope after all.

You killed them.

You didn't even know their name, nor the name of the one you saved. You'd never be able to learn it.

Varka visits you for the second time a week into your imprisonment, still with the same two guards. You notice him eyeing them up and realize that he doesn't trust them. The royal guards and the Knights never mixed well.

"You think you were right?"

You scoff, "No greeting?"

"You're lucky I'm not spitting in your face." The grand master says unleadery things too. You've always liked that about him. He was a stickler for the rules indeed, but he also believed that they could be bended if needed. He knew that knighthood wasn't all seriousness either. He knew how to had fun.

"Am I even worthy of your spit?"

He coughs. You can tell he was hiding his laugh in front of the royal guards. "Just answer the question, (y/n)."

"I'm not sure anymore. But you know? I'm not sure of many things anymore. Spend enough time here and you won't know what to think anymore. How long have I been here, anyway?"

"A week." He replies simply. "I'm not getting anywhere with you."

"You're telling me!"

The third time he visits, he visits alone. You have a feeling he pulled some strings to be able to get in here without royal guards. Judging by the sky outside your window, he probably thought to deliberately visit at night as well. Did he sneak in?

"Why did you do it?"

"You woke me up." You say, despite the fact you weren't even sleeping.

"I didn't." He says in a matter of fact way.

"Yeah." You clear your throat, "There were two knights. One was closer to death than the other. I could tell, a kind of Necromancy thing." Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him flinch, as if he was still refusing to believe you were meddling in magicks. "So I saved one of them using the other's life force."

"That wasn't for you to decide." He crosses his arms.

"I know that now, but one death over two? The answer was clear to me."

After a pause–perhaps he was thinking–he says, "I understand. But... are you really a necromancer?"

"Mondstadt's very own."

"My Illusionary Knight..." He mutters under his breath, but you can hear it anyway, "Why–Why Necromancy? Out of all magics you could've learned. Were illusions not enough?"

You tell him everything you know about Necromancy and all it can possibly do. You're sure he only thinks it to be your mad musings. But you try the your best to convince him, to see your way.

"In the right hands, Necromancy can do a lot of things."

"The same thing can be said about everything." He argues, "Sanguimancy, telepathy, everything bad can be good."

He pauses. You hold your breath. "But I'm not sure you're the right one anymore."

He visits regularly. You can tell he's trying to understand. He's trying to believe you. You're just not sure if his attempts are going anywhere.

You try your best to convince him. If necromancy was a religion, you'd be its priest. And if it turned out to be a cult? You'd stay in its church.

You're not sure if you're convincing only him now. You're not sure if you're trying to convince yourself as well.

Finally, Kaeya visits.

Whereas Varka only seemed to be sneaking in by not telling the rest of the Knights about his visits, Kaeya's secretive entirely.

"Hey!" Someone whisper-shouts and it wakes you up.

"What? Kaeya?" You gasp, standing up from your cot faster than lightning. "Holy shit–"

If there weren't bars separating the both of you, you'd have kissed him with the passion of a thousand stars' collision. Hell, if the handcuffs didn't have a magic-canceling ward, you'd have melted the bars and taken him in a needed embrace.

Though you suppose that would make you a fugitive.

The bars were wide enough for both your arms to go through, but a kiss would be pushing it.

"Are you okay?" Kaeya rushes forward, taking your hands in his. "Did they hurt you? Did they do anything to you?" As quick as his hands come to your hands, they come up to your cheeks, turning your head this way and that to see if there was an injury on your face.

"No, no, I'm fine." You assure with huffed laugh, "Just smelly."

"Ooh, yeah, I can tell." He chuckles, but you can tell there is little amusement to it. He was truly concerned, and only you knew what they'd been doing to you down here—nothing.

"Love, I promise," You take one of the hands he had on your cheek and bring it to your lips, claiming it with a kiss. "I'm alright."

Kaeya's eyebrows furrow. He looks you up and down again, examines your worn clothes and unwashed but unblemished, uninjured skin, and comes to the conclusion that you were indeed fine; although he wasn't very convinced. He huffs, "You better be."

"I am! I wouldn't lie to you."

He raises a brow.

"OK. That was one time. But Maxus the cactus is alright now, isn't he?"

"By the very thing that got you here." He reminds you.

"Yeah, you're right." Necromancy had been so normal to you, you'd almost forgotten. "About that..." Concern reappears on his features, and you hate the way it looks on him. "my execution has been ordered."

"Shit. Shit!" He exclaims, pulling away from you and bringing his hands up. "Tell me," He wipes the hairs away from his face, "tell me you're lying."

"Sweet pea–"

"Tell me," He says before you can answer, "that you're poking fun at me."

You answer him with an honest look, knowing words would only convince him that your fate was sealed. It was sealed, in a way, but you–neither of you–wanted to face that fear.

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be sorry!" He comes to you, gritted teeth going to open in an outburst any moment now, and takes your hands, guiding them up to his cheeks.

You accept your new job eagerly; rubbing your thumb across his cheekbones to soothe him and making sure his eye is looking into yours so as to ground him into reality.

"You shouldn't be apologizing," He mumbles, "like you're the director for the funeral we wouldn't even be allowed to have. Like you're a fucking coworker who knew how much we meant to each other—because clearly, you don't."

"You mean so much to me."

"That's not it!" His voice breaks in frustration, "You don't know how much you mean to me. You should be asking me if I already have a plan. You should be asking me when you're getting out here, because you know I'm not letting you go off and die."

"And then what, Kaeya? You'll be a criminal."

"If it means we'll both be alive, then I'll take it over not having you! If we have to run from nation to nation, I'll do it. I'll–"

"That's not a way to live."

He ignores you, "If it means we'll be together, I'll renounce my life in Mondstadt."

"My love–"

"I'd do anything for you!"

"Kaeya, that's not the life I want you to have."

"Stop talking like you're fucking dead!" He pulls back from you entirely, jumping from the bars to the wall of the corridor, and finally allowing himself to shout out his anger. He sinks to a crouch against the dirty stone walls. The remains of his pent up emotions slide down his face in the form of tears. The rest of his words come out rushed like a flood. "Because you're not dead, you're here, and we still have a chance."

He's trying his best to keep himself together. You can tell. But he's already failed at that. "How are you so calm?" He hides the lower half of his face in his palm, "You're the one whose head could be severed off."

You don't have an answer for that, but you do know something. You're not as good a person as you'd thought. "I think I was wrong."

You crouch down to meet his line of sight and Kaeya's eye focuses on you once again, "But Necromancy is good in the right hands and–" He starts, but you cut him off.

"And I'm not sure my hands are the right ones anymore."

"No," He shakes his head, "you've already done so many good things with it."

"Varka's a good man, better than I'll better be, he's responsible and he has a sound judgement. He doesn't think I'm–"

"He doesn't know you like I do."

You purse your lips. If he was going to risk it all for you, you had to stop him. All of this was your fault, these were consequences of your decisions. You had to face them on your own. If it meant having to... "Maybe I'm not who you think I am."

"What do you mean?"

"I keep a lot of things secret from you. I kept the knowledge of my Necromancy from you for a year. Hell, I told you about it when I knew you wouldn't think about it deeply enough. You were tired and sleepy, then."

"No," He denies it. "you saw a chance and you took it."

"Sweet pea, I knew that the next morning you would hardly remember enough to criticize."

"No, no, no, no." He repeats. The no's become muffled as he covers his face with his hands. "No. I know you, I know you're a good guy. You're no–"

"Villain?" You ask, head tilted in a mocking way. "My, you are naive."

He looks broken.

You fucking hate this.

Without another word, he stands and leaves.

Kaeya would do anything for you, so you have to do everything you can do for him as well. If it meant lying to him, putting on a facade and acting just like how the nation thought you to be now, a Villain, you would do it; and you'd just done it.

If it meant dragging yourself down just so that he wouldn't follow, so be it.

<✦>

Varka starts his last visit–not that you know–with the words, "Kaeya's been down in the dumps lately."

"Did they announce the execution yet?"

He shakes his head no, "The announcement is supposed to be tomorrow."

"I've no idea then." You reply innocently. You'd been preaching the truth about Necromancy to the grandmaster, you couldn't have your notions befuddled by the words you'd given to Kaeya.

"You do know why." He starts. "For one, you're in love. He missed a meeting a week ago, and I know–"

You never told him. Fuck. You never told him you loved him. "When's the execution?" You interrupt his reasoning.

Varka's lips press into a fine line. "In a week."

"I never told him I loved him." You admit. "A week of my life left and I never told him."

Silence ensues and it allows you to simmer in your regrets. Varka doesn't have the heart to break it as he considers it himself, but suddenly he gets an idea. "I can pass along the message."

"What?"

"That you love him."

"No." You reply immediately.

It's his turn to be confused. "What?" He blurts out, losing all his formality. He had come to terms with his student, the culmination of his teachings, learning magick for some sick righteousness. But this? "Did he do anything? Did you do anything?"

"I did a lot of things." You laugh. He doesn't know how you can laugh right now. "I don't want him to be any sadder when I go."

"Right."

The shock of it—was he really alright with your execution? Was he really alright with losing his best student? He had taught you everything he knew, not just in fighting, but in morals too. And you'd taught him everything you knew about Necromancy, all the good that was packed in with the bad.

Was he really alright with you just leaving the world like this? Your plans to better the world, all thrown in the guillotine just because of one mistake?

He turns on his heel.

"Varka?"

He doesn't give your calls any attention.

"Varka, where are you going?"

He was going to do something about this. You deserved a second chance.

<✦>

The day had finally come. Three months of your life had come and gone and they were both the shortest and longest part of it.

What was the phenomenon?

The moments of your life as you are dying go faster. But, you suppose that'd be the moment right before death. When your head is laid upon the wood of the guillotine and you stare into the box your head will fall into.

Time was certainly a concept that you most definitely can't decypher it in the few hours you have left.

The few hours you have left.

You were going to die soon. You weren't going to be alive anymore. Your existence would be finished after a short nineteen years, and then you'd experience whatever came after.

So why are you so calm? Why aren't you crying? Why aren't you begging the Gods for another chance?

You didn't have the answers to those questions and you suppose it won't matter anymore. You won't be needing answers when you're six feet under, if you even deserved that. If you were to be honest with yourself, they'd probably burn you after separating your head from your body.

Hours turn into minutes, and soon there is a royal guard at your prison door. He's got a deep frown on his features–then again which one of them doesn't?–but also something else in his hands: a bag.

You can't get your hopes up.

"Hey big guy." You greet as enthusiastically as you can. You'd come to terms with your death about a month ago.

He doesn't reply. Instead, he unlocks the door and gestures at you to get out.

"Oh come on, I can't twist your words into incantations. I'm not that advanced at magic, both you and I know you didn't let me get to that point."

Even as you poke and prod at him for him to let go of his silence, he doesn't speak. Not that you have to think about it for long.

He guides you out of the cell and out of the catacombs, or wherever you were kept, with a firm grip on your shoulder. With the big, silent guard at your side, you breathe in your first breath of fresh air and feel the sun's rays on your skin for a final time. What a bonding experience! But even that doesn't get to last long.

Next thing you know, you're shoved in a carriage. It's not the prison cage you were expecting. You were expecting wide, black bars with spaces big enough so that it wasn't hard to throw a tomato in. The people of Mondstadt enjoyed their tomato throwing a lot of the time.

The downside of not having one of those cages was not being able to look outside and see where you were going. Although, the good thing about that was that you wouldn't be able to see a loved one. Otherwise, you might actually start crying.

The carriage stops without warning, a sudden thing that almost sends you from one side of the seating to the other.

"This isn't what I was expecting." You say once you step foot outside.

Perhaps they were rubbing freedom in your face or allowing you a final sight of the nature that Favonius had terraformed before you were taken to the guillotine. This was the southern gate of the city of Mondstadt, after all. This couldn't be your stop.

The driver, another royal guard, smiles. The same silent man beside her steps down from the bench.

"Have you got a guillotine and crowd out there?" You ask.

He doesn't answer, of course. Why were you expecting an answer? Instead... instead, he unlocks your cuffs and takes them off your wrists.

"You're exiled." The driver announces.

"No." You blurt out in disbelief.

The man grunts as if affirming her statement. He hands you the bag he's been steadily holding and, before you can check whatever's packed inside, he pushes you outside the gate. He stays, right in front of it, protectively.

You stand there, right outside the city of Mondstadt, trying to register what's happening, for only Barbatos knows how long.

Were you free?

"Bye." The silent guard finally says. He's trying to nudge you away.

Barbatos's grace!

Back to the present...

What a fucking nightmare. You awaken from your slumber, sitting up and rubbing at your groggy eyes. All of that in one night? Whatever, you'd probably forget later, even if those were memories you could recall at any moment. They were in the past anyway.

That was all over now. Yet... and overwhelming sense of mithenness runs over you. Mondstadt had carried on without you. The disaster that it had suffered through was over eight years ago now! They had recovered from it well.

The city was still the city, flawed as it may be. It was still good and it hardly needed improvement.

You were so naive.

Necromancy comes in handy though. A lot of the time.

"Morning, sweet pea." You greet Kaeya good morning, followed by a kiss on the cheek.

He grumbles "Sweet pea?" as if confused, then turns away from you to catch some more winks. He never really enjoyed mornings, anyway.

"We gotta get up soon." You remind him, standing up from the bed. You groan as you stretch. Sleeping on a bed, after those days traveling and sleeping on the hard ground, felt like bliss.

You glance over at the items you'd scattered over the desk in a tired haze. Your bag had tipped over sometime over the night, spilling some of its contents over the table. Kaeya's bag was still orderly. Hmph, just like him. Then, at the end of the table, sat the horse stall reminder for Nyx and Raph.

The stable boy better let you get a refund for the days you hadn't spent here. The plan hadn't gone as you expected.

A knock comes from the door.

"What is it?" Kaeya calls from your side. So he doesn't care to answer you but he will answer someone else.

"Madame Chamberlain asked me to remind you that you should be exiting the city in under an hour!" A servant calls from behind the door. "She said there will be consequences if you don't!" They yelp, "H-Her orders! N-Not my words, I swear!"

"Alright." Kaeya groans just loud enough for them to hear. He sits up and wipes his eye, then turns to you. "Is that a habit you picked up again?"

You furrow your eyebrows, "Is what?"

"Kiss me on the cheek and call me sweet pea."

"Oh. Did I?" You press your lips into a fine line and try to pretend like you're not embarrased by the idea.

"Yeah." He says, "I remember it clearly."

"Despite being half-asleep?"

"Yup."

You groan, "Maybe it was subconscious."

"Yeah," He laughs, "sure. If that makes you feel better. I mean, if it's subconscious, surely that means something."

He had a point. What did it mean if it was subconscious? You ponder it as you get ready for the day.

Were you previously thinking about it? That, you couldn't answer. There were a lot of bygone thoughts you had forgotten throughout your traveling. You wouldn't doubt it if you had, but you also doubted if you really did have them.

Subconscious; not fully aware. Did your subconscious think you were still in the past? You were just dreaming about it.

Then again, you sleep next to each other each night. Would it really be that bad if you had kissed him?

"Are you still thinking about it?" Kaeya asks, his bag slung around his shoulder.

It snaps you out of your thoughts. "No." You lie without second thought. Not that it was very convincing. Kaeya saw through many lies easily, and yours especially.

"Sure." He says, unconvinced, for a second time that morning.

You elect to ignore the kiss and continue your day.

#kaeya x reader #kaeya x male reader #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya alberich x male reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x male reader #genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #🌸 // success!#blurred lines #blurred lines series #🎟 // genshin impact #🎫 // kaeya #🎫 // kaeya alberich #🌂 // failure

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