Oikawa: I'm gonna be your ring bearer.
Kageyama: Wait, really?
Oikawa: Except instead of a ring it'll be a pipe to the knees.
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"You like it, huh?" he asks even though you're too busy feeling his fingers quicken in you to respond. "Being a mess, I know" he leaves your pussy aside and drags you to the edge of the bed just enough to bend your legs towards your chest and lick the mess he's created with his fingers.
"W-what are you doing?!"
“Cleaning you up" he lies as he sucks and licks all over you until he tastes your second spill.
SUNA, atsumu, kageyama, IWAIZUMI, KONOHA, MATTSUN, semi eita, sakusa
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You being angry at your boyfriend: "You have no idea what I am capable of!"
Your boyfriend: "Don’t take it personally but I feel like I am being threatened by a cupcake."
- MIYA TWINS, Kiyoomi Sakusa, HAJIME IWAIZUMI, SATORU GOJO, Tobio Kageyama, TŌRU OIKAWA, Rintarō Suna, SHŪGO MEIAN, OSAMU DAZAI, CHŌSŌ KAMO (and add whichever character comes to your mind)❤️
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atsumu and bokuto, bursting into hinata’s room: SEE !! HE’S MAKING OUT WITH TOBIO-CHAN… huh?
kageyama, pausing the match they were watching: ?
hinata, to kageyama: really? why didn’t you tell me, tobio? i would have paused the video.
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Atsumu: Alright boys, I’m gay and I need to know what’s the quickest way to a man’s heart
Komori: Flirting?
Kageyama: Food?
Kiyoomi, confident: Between the fourth and fifth ribs
Atsumu:
Komori:
Kageyama:
Kiyoomi: What?
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haikyuu!! as things my friends and I have said
Some of these were edited a little to make more sense in Haikyuu context :]
Tendou: Coach Washijo has to let us summon Satan in the middle of practice.
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Atsumu: Why v@pe when you can suck watermelon lollipops?
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Terushima: You cannot aggressively beat the Camila Cabello out of me
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Shirabu: Some people should be shot, but some people get to be president again, ha ha ha.
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Tendou: My insanity would probably be the most potent drug in the world
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Oikawa: I’m a homosexual, heheheheheh
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Nishinoya: See, you can achieve greatness even with short legs
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Tendou: Arson is good. It’s a great pastime. Like, bored? Go burn down a building!
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Hinata: BYE DAICHI-SAN
Daichi: I’m not for sale
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Shirabu: I feel like a spear went through my head right here (points to middle of forehead) and came out at the back here
Tendou: I’M A UNICORRRN
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Ukai Keishin: (spectating Karasuno antics) Some people end up in the zoo
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Kageyama: (on the way to the training camp) oh my god I will EAT the next traffic light that turns red
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Semi: What about you? Don’t you say that you eat children?
Tendou: I mean I do but that’s different because I’m a human
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Nishinoya: ROLLING ON THE FLOOR GOING FERAL CRUNCHING ON THE FLATSCREEN TV LIKE A MEIJI CRACKER
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Ushiwaka: I am at Daiso. Need anything?
Tendou: sanity
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Sakusa: Are you fucking dumb?
Atsumu: Yeah, how’d ya know?
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Tanaka: I’LL KILL YOU ALIVE— oh wait crap I made myself sound stupid again
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Yaku: one more time Lev makes a height joke will rip off all of his hair and then shout ‘WIG SNATCHED’ really loud
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Tendou: I’ll bring you on a date night in Paris
Ushiwaka: what?
Tendou: what?
•••
Kyoutani: I have this urge to bite people. But not in a sexual way, just NOM
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