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#kait has no idea what shes doing
pixaho · 2 months
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White Rascals With Girlfriends
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♥ Pairing | White Rascals and girlfriends :> ♥ AU? No |
♥ Warnings | Mentions of violence, drinking, smoking, and NSFW stuff ;)
M.LIST H&L LIST
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R☺CKY
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♦ FIRST MEET
Rocky met you when he was doing dangerous jobs before forming White Rascals. You had been walking when you noticed a young man fighting a group of black-clothed people. Thinking he was in trouble, you grabbed a near by officer and pointed him to the group. Rocky would later thank you with a coffee and or tea.
♦ DATES
His date choices are usually a restaurant, a picnic, or at home dinner date. He knows how to cook so majority of your dates are at home. He only settles for a restaurant if its a special occasion or a picnic if its a nice day out.
♦ FIRST TIME
Your first time together was magical as Rocky made sure that everything would go to a decent plan. His mistake was honestly not all bad, as he forgot to turn off his phone while you guys were at it and it lowkey drove him insane with the absurd amount of texts from others.
♦ ARGUING
You and Rocky argue from time to time. This is typically about him overworking and spending more time fighting, which usually left him injured beyond your eyes. This can also be about him taking his anger out through other ways, such as using a punching bag and not noticing when you were there.
♦ JEALOUS
Rocky doesn't get really jealous but rather annoyed when he sees someone flirting with you and possibly making you uncomfortable. His whole motto is that the White Rascals don't harass or hurt women so he makes sure that the person who is making you seemingly uncomfortable, doesn't get to see the light of Club Heaven ever again.
♦ HOW YOU SLEEP TOGETHER
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♦ HOW YOU KISS
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K☺☺
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♦ FIRST MEET
Surprise, you meet Koo at Club Heaven. You thought he was a butler until he introduced himself as the subleader of White Rascals. The only actual reason he had introduced himself to you was because you were drunk and asking questions, but you still remembered everything about him.
♦ DATES
Unlike Rocky, Koo isn't that great at hosting dates. This leads to him asking Rocky to then asking Kizzy and then finally just asking you what you wanted to do for date night because well he's not the brightest for dates.
♦ FIRST TIME
Koo is one of the only people to not make an entire mistake but rather a little one. He also doesn't rush around to make sure everything is comfortable and good because he prefers comfortable stuff anyways. His tiny mistake was breaking his hand before you guys did it. He had a cast on for the whole time.
♦ ARGUING
Arguments between you and Koo are rare but he has a calm personality and will search for any points to make things right. If he's wrong, he's quick to admit it. If he isn't, he tends to sit down and explain it. Bonus, if he is wrong, he'll let you paint his finger nails (only white but a pale pink or blue can be painted). (KOO IS BBG YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE)
♦ JEALOUS
Silent jealousy type of person. He'll just death stare the person he's jealous of and then remember that he doesn't need to be jealous of them and they should be jealous of him because he has you. He will not let the person know he's jealous.
♦ HOW YOU SLEEP TOGETHER
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♦ HOW YOU KISS
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KIZZY & KAIT☺
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♦ FIRST MEET
You ran into Kizzy whilst at a Library doing research for a paper. She was with Kaito and they seemed to have been getting something for Rocky. You already knew Rocky, you just didn't know the others so you strike up a conversation with them. You guys seem to get along even if Kaito seemed uninterested.
♦ DATES
Kizzy is the one who makes the dates and has the help of Kaito. Although they are very different people, they seem to coordinate everything very well, even with you. If they can't come up with an idea, they usually ask you what you want to do. If you keep your relationship a secret from the other gangs, they'll settle for movie cuddles. This is where you have a movie night and cuddle. <3
♦ FIRST TIME
Kizzy and you actually did it in a hot tub. You were both sober and just flirting, plus giggling. Kaito wasn't there for it but he didn't hear the end of it from Kizzy. She did make a mistake which was knocking the temperature a few degrees higher which made it feel like it was boiling hot. With Kaito, it was after you got home from a long day at work. He was in the bed room reading when you walked in and dropped everything to help you relax. Let's just say a massage went from a massage and turned into you guys fucking.
♦ ARGUING
Arguments between you three happen half the time. This is typically because of them getting hurt or leaving a container in the fridge that is empty. Kizzy is the first to apologize and make things right with Kaito being more stubborn, but Kizzy always makes him apologize somehow.
♦ JEALOUS
If you are even flirting with another person, Kaito is quick to grab you away and bring you where people won't flirt with you. He's the more jealous one out of the two as he doesn't like others touching what's his. Whereas Kizzy doesn't care as much, just as long as you are being safe.
♦ HOW YOU SLEEP TOGETHER
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(Couldn't find 3 people sleeping so just imagine it's Kaito, Kizzy, and then you.)
♦ HOW YOU KISS
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Kizzy ^ Kaito v
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I know a lot of people might be upset by this, but I didn't include the last few White Rascal members because 1. You don't get much on them and even though we get to see Aizawa, Enari, Bito, and Shimura, you don't get enough of their actual personalities for me to write on. 2. As for the others (Heidi, Marco, Lassie, and Cosette) again not much information and I also didn't know how to write them with girlfriends. Maybe at some point I'll end up coming back and editing this or I'll make a part 2 where I finally come back and put Heidi, Marco, Lassie, and Cosette, but as for now I think I'm not going to do that. I don't mean to make people whose favorite characters are those 4 feel like I'm not showing or caring for them, it's just with characters with little screen time where you don't get much about them makes it hard. Thank you for understanding.
♥ Mutuals; @talusional @dillpick (since you like stalking my page haha! <3)
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marshmallowprotection · 5 months
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TW! I committed an act of self harm for the first time last night since around middle school, I’m not proud of myself. It was triggered by school stress, I forgot how bad I get mentally when it comes to academics. I try so hard to prove myself as a burnt out gifted kid with ADHD, you know? I’m tired of being seen as lazy, or bad at everything. Can I get some SE comfort? We owe you lots Kait 🩷
TW: Self-Harm Mention
SE Saeran is the last person to ever misunderstand what you're going through.
He knows what it feels like to drag yourself to the brink of exhaustion because you're trying to prove yourself to the people around you. He understands how devastating it can feel to look somebody in the eyes and have them say that you're not doing enough, when you are quite frankly, doing everything you can at that specific moment in time to complete things.
You can't make everybody happy, which he learned the hard way because no matter how much he tried to please Rika, he never did. She kept him working non-stop while holding a carrot on a string and there was no way for him to reach the carrot. If you think he's going to misunderstand what it feels like to be overwhelmed by the fact that you can't make the people around you happy with anything you do, think again. 
You're not lazy and you don't have to work yourself into the ground to be able to prove that to anybody. All you have to do is put your best foot forward and do what you can with what you have. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be number one all the time. You don't have to be at the top of the class.
You're allowed to take it easy and go at your own pace. Falling under your expectations doesn't mean you're a failure, if anything, you should take it as a lesson to study harder in the future, but not to work yourself into the ground over it.
If you want to do better, it's one thing to study more, but it's another thing to beat yourself up. 
Saeran wouldn't want you to do that to yourself.
He does that enough to himself all the time. Even though he is mostly apathetic to the world around him due to how overwhelmed he got in the end, he still experiences a great amount of empathy and most of it is directed towards you because you have shown him a world of kindness he still isn't sure he deserves. Your kindness to him shows that you are a good person no matter what you do, and even if you fail to reach the height you set for yourself, he'll be standing there waiting to catch you.
You always do that for him, so why wouldn't he do it for you? Even if he has no idea what he's doing, you've done so much for him that it's only fair he tries to do whatever he can for you. Sure, does that look like him dragging you out of the house to lay under a shady tree for the afternoon so you don't have to think about anything?
Yeah.
That's how he handles a lot of stress in his life. Running away from it won't make it better, but taking a break from everything that makes you feel like your head is going to explode will make a difference. It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud but it helps. At least, the act of taking a breather helps him. It might help you, who knows? It's always worth a shot. Taking the time to breathe and collect yourself before you do anything gives you time to find an answer and process what brought the pain in the first place.
Take it from Saeran, if you stew in those feelings forever, it will do nothing but bring you agony.
So, as you lay outside underneath the sky he loves so much, expect to feel his hand on top of yours as neither one of you says anything. He isn't much of a talker and you never ask him to push himself outside of his comfort bubble. He doesn't need to say much, if at all, because you know he's the kind of person who communicates what he's feeling through the way he looks at you and how willingly he lets you get close to him when nobody else could ever get that close.
If you take his hand, he'll give it a gentle squeeze. If you roll over into his side so you can close your eyes and stop thinking about anything but the way is chest rises and falls with every breath, he won't stop you, either. 
"Listen... don't let the desire to be the best destroy you, okay? You're already the best you that you can be... because for whatever reason, you decided I was worth the trouble... anyone who does that should be given sainthood by the church my brother loves so much. Now, let go... close your eyes... and just... breathe with me, okay?"
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aubieinsanity · 9 months
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#trigunbookclub | Vol 1 | 07
Click here for an archive of all my #trigunbookclub posts
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Commentary under the cut!
[Art & Story by Yasuhiro Nightow. Translation by Trigun Ultimate Overhaul.] [Disclaimer: I have consumed much meta content & had many conversations about Trigun on Tumblr and Discord since earlier in 2023. Lots of my commentary will be a result of cooperative analysis, so thank you to all who share their thoughts!] [Warning: While I will mostly avoid manga spoilers, some of my commentary will involve discussion of future topics. I am also assuming readers have seen the 98 anime and/or Trigun Stampede and are at least somewhat familiar with some of the major story beats.]
There are 12 minutes until the sand steamer runs off the edge of a cliff, and only 10 minutes until the point of no return, after which there won't be enough time to slow down. BDN plans on dipping out before the ship goes down (what a jerk).
Vash sneaks up on some Bad Lad thugs by pushing a cart with two gas tanks strapped to it, shoots one of the tanks (the baddies expect an explosion but the tanks just kinda fizzle), then leaps forward and shoots to disarm. Now, Nightow is notorious for having incomprehensible action scenes, but then he also has panels like this:
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The way it conveys speed is so good. There's obviously the action lines, but there's also the fact that Vash's foot is translucent. He's on top of these guys before they knew what hit em. Vash then flashes them this dopey grin, and they're so scared of him that they retreat.
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Vash and Kaite sneak into some kind of communications room, and the baddies report their defeat to BDN, who revels in the idea of an "exciting" challenge.
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Vash hams it up by speaking into the tubes, pretending to have an encounter with the blonde assailant (him)
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Vash then busts out some "lost technology" so that he can communicate privately with Kaite from afar and returns to the hallway to find more baddies. Accidentally wounds one of them more severely than he intended. Curses and immediately acts to treat the wound. This is our first glimpse into just how desperate Vash is to preserve all life. Kaite berates him then realizes Vash has also been shot.
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"Do I really look that stupid?" Vash asks. He thinks of the Fall, of Rem. "I do, don't I...pathetic." Kaite just stares at him in awed silence. Some of my thoughts regarding this: 1) Vash still feels the helplessness of not being able to save Rem, and more broadly, being unable to prevent the fall from happening; 2) Vash acutely feels the near-impossible nature of his chosen lifestyle (i.e. never take a life); he knows it's impractical. He feels like he's failing, like he will never be able to honor Rem's memory. People still get hurt, even die, all around him. Vash knows that, to an outsider, this lifestyle looks ridiculous, but that doesn't change the fact that this is what he has chosen, and there simply is no other...choice.
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Then...there's this panel:
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This panel makes me feral. Why? Vash tells Kaite to remember the name Rem Saverem, because she's the reason any of the humans of the SEEDS fleet are still alive. And then, there is Vash, treating the wound of one of his enemies. This is the first time we see one of the Bad Lads without his helmet on. We see his face. He's just a guy. A Person. A Person who is here, because of Rem. And there is the tragic beauty of Vash wanting to protect all life, because every single life on this god-forsaken planet is a life Rem died to save.
The next panel is:
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Maybe I'm getting too far down into the weeds, but...this is brilliant. It shows how Vash's perspective, hell, the narrative itself, is so much broader than the current conflict. Vash is old, has seen a lot, and no matter what situation he's tied up in, he's always aware of the bigger picture. He's always aware that anything and anyone here is here because of Rem. He's always aware of the greater plight of humanity, always aware of his own eternal struggle to spread love and peace amidst a population of struggling, desperate humans.
~ deep breath ~
Vash presses on. He is visibly struggling, sweating, panting, because he has been shot and barely tended to himself; meanwhile Kaite is supplying directions based on what he's hearing over the speaking tubes. We then get a brief flashback to just beforehand, before Vash and Kaite split up -- glimpses of Kaite's memories of his parents, their deaths, and his subsequent homeless poverty. Kaite yells at Vash, accusing him of underestimating their enemy--underestimating the entire human race. (As if Vash doesn't give humanity WAY more credit that they deserve...)
We see that Kaite lumps himself in with the Bad Lads as a thief, a murderer, someone beyond redemption.
And then...Vash echoes Rem's words.
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........I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying....
It is truly amazing just how much Vash internalized this message from Rem. It has been his guiding light for over a century, as well as a message he tries desperately to propagate wherever he goes. He is trying to tell Kaite that there is redemption, that there is always a choice. Every day, every moment, you have the power to make a choice. To make a change. Nothing and no one is a fixed point. Like, man.... Vash believes SO much in personal autonomy. Fate? Feh. Even in the crappiest of circumstances, we all have the power of Choice.
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(Not gonna dive too deep into this just yet, but this wonderful perspective of hope and goodness is also a flaw in Vash's world view. On paper, yes, we can all choose to be and do good even if our circumstances are punishing, but...it's not that simple. Sometimes, the will to survive overrides morality. Otherwise, everyone on Noman's Land would be walking around with a body as heavily scarred as Vash's.)
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Oh Vash...he's strugglin'.
Vash follows Kaite's directions, only to stumble into a room packed with baddies, as well as BDN himself. Immediately, Vash realizes they've been tricked -- and that Kaite is in danger.
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tc-doherty · 3 months
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Betrayal, Desire, and Skin for whichever Silverwood character(s) you like! Y'know unless those tickle your brain an exact way for Second Chances folks instead.
Betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?
This is almost too easy for Silverwood because well, it's Silverwood and betrayal is pretty much bread-and-butter to the story so I'll tell you one that you might not expect (please forgive me if you already know this).
So Ithea was terminally ill with a disease which ultimately would tear her body apart but which could have been mitigated for much longer than it was except for the fact that she was hardwired old school Drezhein and would literally rather die than show weakness in front of anyone, even people that she supposedly trusts. So when it starts getting to the point where she's having difficulty hiding her symptoms from Anthem and the kids she basically arranges to have herself killed (she fights her brother Ithian to the death, and they both die).
No one knows about this, for years nobody had any idea what happened. Anthem didn't know why she had gone off on her own when they had talked about working together to kill him and to the kids she just vanished and Anthem never told them anything. In fact they knew so little information about it that Charlie actually accused his father of murdering Ithea because, well, it made sense at the time.
Until many, many years later when Kaite was cleaning up at the manor house and she found a letter that Ithea had written to Charlie explaining everything and apologizing and then she had just hidden it somewhere. To most of the kids the whole thing made sense and gave them closure, after all they were adults with children of their own, in many cases. But for Charlie and Cyan, it really was a betrayal that Ithea would choose to abandon them rather than ruin her image.
And neither one of them ever entirely forgave her.
Desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?
Ithea has several deep desires that people either don't know about or don't understand. It's hard to believe from the first answer but she really did want to be a mother, she just wasn't willing to pursue that in face of what it would mean to have all of them watch her die slowly from this horrific disease. However people really don't understand why she craved power and notoriety as much as she did, they just sort of chalk it up to a Drezhein thing because they do tend to be power-hungry.
But it goes a bit farther with her because of where and how she was raised, in a place where women are basically powerless and worthless, aren't allowed to be educated, aren't really allowed to be in positions of authority, aren't supposed to make waves, can't make decisions for themselves… She wants to stand out. She wants power over other people. She wants people to notice her and have to respect her. That, she pursues with everything she has.
Skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?
Switching stories for this one because it's not really an issue for anybody in the Silverwood cast however it is for Mahesha from Second Chances.
He isn't human, and he is very much pretending that he is human for most of the story. Because they live in a world where shapeshifters are not valued, and he grew up in a place that is especially bad about that, he sees himself as nothing but a beast, and he hates everything about himself that is different from the humans around him.
He is incredibly hard on himself, punishes himself for every thing that he views as a mistake or a failure and is also very bad at acknowledging when he actually does something right. More or less he consistently punishes himself for not having been born human and is pretty much constantly reminding himself that he is less than the people around him. He believes everything he was ever taught – consciously or subconsciously – about shapeshifters and it takes him a very long time to even make the basic connection of "just because some trait or habit isn't human does not automatically make it bad".
~Not-So-Nice Ask Game~
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thelonecalzone · 1 year
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weird questions for writers: 3, 10, 17?
Hi, tysm for asking!
3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?
The process might not be cursed, but the space is SO cursed. That quote about the two wolves? That’s my home office. One side is very work-oriented and reserved for my day job: clean desk, desktop computer with only a few tabs open, minimal additional adornment, a single precious potted plant. The other side? A horrible, uneven surface made of warped spare lumber and various boxes that act as table legs. Laptop from the dawn of time with 3500 tabs open. Cork board. Second Cork board. White board. Skeins of red yarn. Thumbtacks, sticky notes, it’s a real murder-she-wrote. Every day I perch my coffee mug precariously on a stack of books covered in those sticky tabs that mark out all the quotes I want to burden other people with, and get to work. I cross bits off my printed outline as I go, throwing everything into a single Google Doc where I use highlighted paragraphs to mark out the beginning and end of each chapter I’m currently working on. Yellow for the start of the chapter, green for the end. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out how to create a linked index. (Experts, feel free to weigh in if you find this too disgusting to bear). The Cmnd+find function no longer works once I’ve reached a certain character limit, so I make sticky notes for myself (like a little Rennaisance-era scribe) of anything I want to call back to or bring up later in the story. Do I know that I can search straight in AO3 for terms/phrases/quotes? Yes. Do I do this? Of course not. I have one brain cell, and I use it to imagine gay things. This also means that I need absolute silence to write, not even a lo-fi study playlist in the background. I’m a cave-dwelling beasty and I require dim lighting, silence, and 3-5 cups of coffee to most deliciously enjoy my writing, which I spend around four hours a day doing, in hour-long chunks. I am a blight :)
10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?
Yes! I am constantly haunted by writing, and in particular the writing of Shirley Jackson, Denusha Laméris, and Mary Oliver, to name a few. It’s usually poetry that sticks in my brain and follows me around, rather than bits from novels (though this has exceptions). Philip’s Birthday by Mary Oliver is one that I’ve currently been microwaving in my brain, and a poem by Kait Rokowski, (which I’m not sure has a name, so I’ll type it out below, it's short)—
I do not keep meat in my home
Because cooking soft flesh feels like
I am betraying my girlhood
I do not want to watch something so pink
Become appetizing
-Kait Rokowski
I think of haunting like “being followed”, or reminded of something at inappropriate times (while in a meeting, during a conversation about literally anything else, etc.), so writing that haunts me is often stuff that ends up walking around with me for years and years, even after I think I’ve forgotten about it. My own writing though? Nah, not really. I don’t think about my writing usually, unless I’m actively doing it, or trying to solve a problem in a story. 
(Also, I’ve gotten another request for this answer, so I’ll save a few haunts for that reply too).
17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.
Hi, I’m here with the spicy, spicy cuts of TBSCM :) I’ve already spilled so much tea in the comments of the fic re: the various lit inspirations, so instead I will leave you a chunk of writing that will never make it into the fic because it was cut for time. It was one of the little pseudo-dates that would have happened when Patty came to visit Allison in Gorham. To set the stage: Allison convinces Patty that it's a good idea to go fishing at dusk in Moose Brook Park (with some equipment she’s borrowed from Irene’s late husband’s collection)—
Flickering blips of yellow light glint off the calm surface of the water as fireflies wander lazily over the lake. Allison sits next to Patty on the bank, growing more and more dismayed as she flips through the pages of The Complete Book of Fishing Knots, Leaders, and Lines by Lindsey Philpott. She’s searching for something that will hold a worm in place without her having to press the hook through its soft, red flesh. She looks down at the unhelpful index and sighs.
“What’s wrong?” Patty asks, taking a sip of wine from the flask Allison had stuffed into her purse before they left the apartment on this ridiculous fool's errand.
“I don’t…” She doesn’t have to finish the sentence for Patty to know what the problem is.
Patty dead-eyes her, groaning. “Seriously?”
“What!”
“This is so stupid,” Patty says, snatching the worm from her and stabbing the sharp end of the hook into it. The outer layer of skin breaks the way a grapeskin might—popping, oozing with its guts, a red smear dripping down Patty’s thumb as she rolls the worm up the shank as easily as she might do with a lifeless macaroni noodle. 
Allison grimaces… but she doesn’t look away. Something about watching Patty’s fingers deftly thread the worm’s body along the glinting metal transfixes her. 
Patty catches her watching, and she isn’t sure why it makes her own face burn with embarrassment. 
“Why do you know how to do that?” Allison asks, her eyes still glued to the wriggling worm, its blood oozing out onto Patty’s fingers.
Patty just shrugs, letting go of the hook abruptly so that it dangles there on the line between them, the worm wriggling helplessly, struggling. Patty wipes her fingers on the grass, then on her pants, gesturing for Allison to cast the line into the water. 
Allison looks away, but does as she’s told.
“What are you gonna do when there’s a fish on there?” Patty asks her.
Allison swallows hard. “I’m…”
Patty isn’t sure if it happens on purpose, but she feels the gentle pressure of Allison’s shoulder leaning against hers as they listen to the distant croak of the summer frogs bellyaching for each other in the weeds. Without another word, Allison reels in the line. She pries the worm from the end of the hook and lets Patty toss it away into the grass. She doesn't know what she would do if she actually caught something... but she's afraid she might discover that some twisted, buried part of her likes it too much. Better not to know, Allison thinks to herself. Better not to find out.
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natasha-in-space · 1 year
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Sweet Begining
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Ray/cmc Lila Lancelot;
A birthday gift to @marshmallowprotection! I hope I did Lila justice, as I love her to the moon and back, and want only the best for her. This drabble takes place in the first few days after Lila's arrival to Magenta, the bond between the developer and his precious tester growing stronger by the day.
Once again, happy birthday, Kait! :D
"Oh... Ray this dress is stunning..."
Lila had no idea how in the world did Ray manage to get all of her measurements this precise and accurate, but in the end, she decided to brush it off as sheer luck and his caring nature coming into play. After all, he was always so considerate of all her needs... Even when she tried to hide something from him so as to not bother him too much. Everything in her life seemed to get better and brighter by the day ever since she came here. Sometimes, she even doubted whether or not this is truly a reality she's living or just a sweet dream her mind has carefully sewn together in order to keep her painful heart at peace.
She is helping to create something great, a wonderful game that will undoubtedly help so many people in need once it finally reaches its proper release, a game the characters of which she has already become so very attached to.
She lives in the most beautiful and comfortable conditions she has ever lived in, and to top it all off, everyone treats her with such sincere kindness and respect, that she was seriously considering on staying here for a longer period of time once the testing will inevitably come to its end. Especially with Ray slowly but surely becoming one of her closest friends, their bond blossoming by each day.
Sure, sometimes the characters of this game seemed weirdly realistic for a simple dating sim, but then again, it was easy to brush it off on the professionalism of the developers. Or... rather, a developer? Maybe Ray was the only one doing it. He never shared much on the developing process with her, and it's not like she was knowledgeable on the field of game design.
In any case... Today, they were planning on taking a walk in the garden, which was truly gorgeous on the eyes, not to mention the fragrant scents of various flowers blooming and flourishing in the warm summer sun. This certainly wasn't the first time Ray would take her out there, but today was a rare occasion of him managing to catch a break during the day, rather than in the middle of the night. What she wasn't expecting though, was for him to bring her a small gift in the form of a beautiful puffy dress that matched his suit perfectly in its colour pallette. It was a perfect combination of her sweet style with his daily outfit. And yes, she liked it, very much so. No, she absolutely loved it. Ray was so considerate of her interests and hobbies, and it was making her heart flutter just to think of him carefully researching through his options, determined on picking the one that she'd definitely like, while at the same time, one that would remind her of him whenever she wore it. It was... not something she was used to. To be cared for like this.
But, it was nice.
She had no idea what was so special about her for Ray to choose her as his tester... However, without a doubt, she was forever grateful for this opportunity. This was becoming so much more than mere entertainment to her, and she was anxious to see what her future holds in this magical place.
Ray couldn't help but smile at the charming sight of her timid yet happy smile. He liked seeing Lila smile so much... Seeing her eyes twinkle with joy filled his chest with so much warmth, he felt like there was nothing he couldn't do, if only that meant that his actions will bring about another smile on her face. He wanted his lovely princess to always keep smiling at him like that.
To always keep smiling... He only wished that he'd be the only one privy to such an enchanting sight, however selfish this wish of his may be.
"I'm happy that you like it!" Still, clearly embarrassed by the praise directed at him in her sweet voice, he couldn't help but look away for a brief moment, hoping and praying that he didn't seem too weird in her eyes. "I... tried really hard. This dress really brings out your beautiful eyes. It reminds me... of sweet chocolate."
He put his glowed hand over his heart, feeling its steady beat and still unable to suppress his smile as he looked her over, mesmerized by her elegant beauty. She was making him come alive with such simple words... He couldn't imagine choosing anyone else to be his tester.
"Ah, jeez, you're spoiling me..." Lila giggled in embarrassment, absentmindedly playing with her carefully styled curls. She couldn't help the warm blush gradually covering her cheeks at his sugary compliments that just kept making her heart flutter like a hummingbird's wings. Taking in his appearance more closely, she couldn't help but furrow her brows, noticing deep dark bags under his eyes. "But, you look very tired... Did you have trouble sleeping again? Maybe it'd be better for you to use this break to take a nap, rather than waste it on entertaining me?"
It's true that his Savior gave him a new urgent assignment in early morning, so he had no choice but to fulfill it. Well... He slept for about one hour at most as a result of that. Although, he did initially plan on sleeping for an hour longer today, since Lila insisted on him taking better care of himself. But, then again, this sort of thing is merely part of his routine at this point. Nobody ever worried about him getting enough sleep, before Lila came here... Didn't he always look like this?
"Ah... I do have a lot of work to take care of. But, it's my duty to make sure you're happy while staying with us." Ray took a small step forward, hoping to reassure her worries. She is so caring... "Don't worry about me. I'm just a little tired, but I'm fine, really. Spending time with you gives me more than enough energy. So? Are you alright with accompanying me?"
He was still unsure about so many things when it came to communicating... Having friends, or any close company for that matter, wasn't something he had a chance to experience before. But whenever he was next to her, he truly wasn't afraid to try and be a bit bolder with his desires, despite all his fears and doubts,
When it comes to Lila, perhaps, what attracted her to Ray most of all was his personality. She did have the tendency of being perceived as somewhat naive or even weak due to her kind and caring nature... And while it definitely hurt to be treated like that by the people she trusted, she never let it make her cruel. No, she wanted to treat the world around her with kindness, to give those she met warmth that she never got. In truth, Lila wasn't stupid or naive... She merely made a conscious choice to try and see good in everyone.
But, Ray... He never once tried to take advantage of her soft nature. Moreover, he openly admired her and treated her with the same respect she has given him. It was easy for her to start feeling comfortable in his gentle presence.
So, she humored him. "Of course... You know how much I love visiting the garden with you. But hey, you should still rest, you know?"
It wasn't long till the pair were leisurely strolling down the beautifully adorned halls of the building, Lila's hands holding onto Ray's arm as she eagerly chattered about his game, hoping to provide as much helpful feedback as possible. Neither of them minded any occasional passerbys rushing by to go about their daily tasks, too engrossed into their private talk.
"-I'm sure many people will like this game... But, I wanted to ask you if we'll be in touch after the testing ends? I would like to continue spending time with you even after my departure." Lila smiled, a hint of melancholy flashing through her eyes. She wasn't confident in outward asking to stay here quite yet. Not before Ray confirms that it would truly be okay for her to want that.
He hummed, somewhat nervously darting his gaze from side to side, as if he was unsure on how to respond to that. "Ah, well... I have been developing my AI's for a very long time. Thank you for your praise, I really appreciate it. And... I'm sure we'll... keep in touch. Actually, there is a way for you to stay here indefinitely... I was planning on bringing it up with you some time further into our testing. I'm happy that our hearts seem to have connected once again."
It did feel wrong for him to lie in her face like that. But he knows he's doing it for the right purpose. He's doing this to save her. He knows about Lila's pain more than anyone else. She's the same as him, which is why saving her from that cruel outside world is so important to him. But, for that to happen, he must act carefully and not rush things. That's what his Saviour told him.
And, the more time he spent right by her side, the more intense these feelings of his got.
Still, for now... He needs to keep this facade. He is sure that, one day, she will be happy in their paradise, once she finally comes to know everything as it truly is, and is, at last, saved by his hand. She will be just as happy as he is. She just has to wait a bit. And it seems... He's getting more impatient by the day.
Through all his daydreaming, he didn't even notice them finally coming out into the warm sun in the garden, not until the fragrant scent of flowers hit his nose. But, even that did not keep his attention for long as he lowered his gaze at his precious tester, smiling tenderly at a small bud of red camellia's to her right.
God... He wanted to hold her hand so much...
Instead, he awkwardly cleared his throat, trying to brush away all these unwanted fantasies filling up his mind like a swarm of determined bees. Taking a step closer to her, he couldn't help but smile, uttering a small compliment without even giving his words a single thought before they flew off the tip of his tongue. "As expected, you look very pretty. I was hoping to see you in this dress surrounded by my favorite flowers... I wish I could take a picture of you. I know you'll make a perfect member for our growing... company."
"Um... But, I don't really have any extraordinary skills. And it feels kind of unfair, you know? It's better to accept those who can bring plentiful of help with their abilities. I still think this garden is much more pretty than me, but thank you, haha. It feels like I'm in a fairytale every time I get to come out here." Lila looked around at the various buds with a gentle smile on her plump lips.
Ray sighed dreamily, continuing to watch her as she rustled about the garden. So honest and kind... So much so, that she would rather give up a good position to others who might need it, than take it for herself. He was surprised that Lila sometimes described herself as incapable and unworthy, despite these wonderful traits he found so dear in her. As if she didn't notice her own perfectness whatsoever. But it's... It's so obvious to him.
Ah, he certainly did not make a mistake with his choice.
"No, you're just the right fit for us. I'm sure you just don't realize your own potential quite yet." He smiled at her, following her along further into the lush bushes. The beauty of the flowers long lost on him, as he kept his gaze trained on her back, observing her long curls flowing in the wind. "And thank you for the compliment. Actually... I planted some of the flowers here myself."
A little embarrassed, he scratched the back of his neck, hoping that he didn't sound too show-offish to her. "Well... Only a few, really."
He carefully pinpointed a few white lilies growing nearby. 'Purity and innocence'. They suit her. Lila as a whole... Could be compared to a flower in his eyes. So beautiful, kind and gentle... and just as fragile. More than anything else, he wanted to be the one to protect her from any harm that could come her way.
At this point, his staring has become adamant to even Lila herself, as she turned to look back at her friend over her shoulder. Perhaps, that's partially due to the fatigue he was effortlessly fighting off this whole day. Either way, she didn't seem to mind him always observing her from afar, much to his relief.
Yes, he definitely didn't get enough sleep. Though, Lila couldn't help but admit that he looked kind of cute, so drowsy and clumsy like that. Letting out a soft giggle, she took one of his hands into her own as a way to gently attract his attention. "Hey. You're obviously tired. Come on, we still have a lot of time ahead of us, it'll be better for you to get some sleep..."
Ray's pale cheeks turned a charming shade of pink almost in an instant. Wide-eyed, he stared down at her tiny soft hands clutching onto his boney bruised fingers, even though she couldn't see that ugliness behind the safety of his gloves. But... He couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like for her to touch him without any fabric getting in the way.
No, no, no, he shouldn't think of such inappropriate things when she's right in front of him, caring for him with only pure intentions on her mind!
"Ah- Y-yes, I mean, no, it's... It's okay, really!" He stuttered, not making any sense and feeling his head slowly starting to heat up, like an overworked computer. It's pretty ironic how easily flustered he gets from just one single touch, when his thoughts and daydreams can get as far away from innocent as they can get. Though, this tiny pang of shame in his chest helped him regain his composure, finally managing to give his tester a proper response. "No, it's all right, really. Spending time with you is more important."
He chewed on his bottom lip, guiltily admitting his mistake without any way for him to avoid talking about it now. "I rarely manage to organize a break long enough to take a walk with you... Not to mention during the day. I do not want to miss this opportunity. Besides, I know how excited you were for this..."
"Hmm... Then how about you take a short nap right here in the garden or in my room? I'll wake you up later, promise." Lila retorted just as smoothly and gently as before, a patient smile still adorning her soft features. She could be stubborn when it came to those she holds dear... and she was determined on making sure that Ray rests for at least a little while, instead of powering through his sleepiness just to spend time with her. They could come up with a compromise, after all.
"Uh- But..." He seems even more confused and embarrassed by her suggestion, clearly loosing all his former princely composure without even putting up a fight. "Is it really okay for me to do that?"
He didn’t quite understand how he was supposed to sleep right here in the garden, but something told him that his heart just could not take any more of such fantasies today. They... were just fantasies, right? There's no way Lila would... want to be this close to someone like him. Especially once he messed like that because of his own insecurity.
"Of course it's okay... I wouldn't propose anything to you, if I didn't want to do it with you, trust me." Instead of getting mad at him or asking for him to leave, she merely giggled again, slightly tilting her head to the side and making a stray ray of sunlight land right onto her hair in the process. If it weren't obvious to him before that Lila was, in fact, an angel, now he knew it for certain. She was practically glowing as she stood there, her eyes locked solely on him, and nothing else. It took of all his willpower to keep his focus on her quiet voice. "So, what will it be? Are we returning to my room or staying here?"
"Well... I don't know..." His fingers twitched nervously in her grasp. She was asking for him to decide? He felt so weird, being asked to make a decision for himself like that. Won't he just mess things up if he starts acting however he wants to act? But... He didn't want to upset Lila, too. So, anxiously, he responded. "May I... rest here then?"
He did not want to go back, being in the sunlight felt too good to give up. But... He still had no idea how is he supposed to sleep here. Questioning her didn't feel right, though. So, he just went with the flow, hoping that his princess will guide him even when he's so unsure of himself.
"Okay." The young woman, on the other hand, merely nodded to his decision and, after a bit of looking around and careful wandering about the garden, she apparently took notice of a small corner next to the small patch of freshly planted begonias. It was a peaceful little island of sunlight, like a tiny oasis. She knelt down in the lush grass, patting down the fabric of her dress adorning her knees. "Come on, join me, Ray."
Oh God, she was asking him to lay his head on her lap.
Did he understand her right? Or-
"W-what? Here?" He felt like his heart was about to, quite literally, burst out of is chest any minute now. His feet were frozen in place, as all he could do was just stand there and gawk at his tester, unsure if this is just one of his many dreams he mistook for reality. "But-"
Lila's all the same sweet and patient smile already gave him all the answers he needed. Damn it, he got the chance to be so close to her by her own request, and now he is too embarrassed to act on it. Ray could practically hear his other half going crazy from his indecisiveness inside his own head. Shutting his eyes tightly, he took the first step into the unknown.
"O-okay. But, please tell me if you get uncomfortable..." Shakily, he slowly lowered his head into her lap and... It took all of his inner strength not to hide his burning face into his palms as soon as he felt the warmth of her body so, so incredibly close to him. "Is this... okay?"
And, as he cautiously looked up at her, his breath got caught in his throat at the sight. The sun was shining right above Lila's head, creating a sort of halo around her face as she met his fearful gaze with one filled with silent promise of safety.
"It's more than okay, I promise. How about... I hum you a lullaby to help you relax? It's what my... sister used to do whenever I was too anxious to fall asleep."
Ray gulped. "I would love that, princess..."
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howuart · 2 years
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Live Ninjago Season 4 episode 5 commentary
Ninja roll!!
fatherless children don’t know how to skate. 
I like Garmadon being there in the intro
Kai’s late xD
I love the vision on the master of sound
already forgot his name
Garmandon know’s him..
Kai got lost ha!
“We’re not related!!?!?” 
ha I love that line 
and she get’s the jade blade. 
how does her hair fit under that hood?
kait cheers too! common boy do worry about jewels
“you’ll never take my super streanth!” oh never mind
“carloft’s so nice I like him
‘blind guy’ is that ableist? Bad carloft
oh his name’s Jacob, the master of sound. 
Nya!
DARETH!! I love this guy, ha employ doesn’t want to deal with him.
jump Kai!
ugh, Clouse 
Roller skates!!
Jay’s in love,
Good question speed, 
She’s right there, lloyd kai doesn’t know anything
Kai!? yes cause he doesn’t know anything
Go Jacon go!
he’s pretty good at seeking around.
rip Jacob
at least cole tried to help. 
rip kai on skates. 
Thunder blade!!!
Chen want’s all the credit
It’s a pretty cool game honestly I like it  
“targets’ yeah Jay’s right you got that. 
like the cut
Kai has very bad balance 
chen has favorites 
“what’s left from you winning it all?’ true skylor but kai doesn’t think about it probably cause he doesn’t want to, it doesn’t help him and he doesn’t like it. but good foreshadowing with her ‘will at all costs’ kinda thinking 
“who am I suppose to hold on to?’ no one kai
rip kai again. 
 cut to Nya incognito, 
gotta pull dareth in cause we have no time. 
Sorry Nya but now you’re stuck with Nya. 
sorry chen Thunder blade will fail to deliver
Good roll Lloyd! 
love the fight sense’s 
Ha kai’s walking xD
Rip kai again
it really is ridiculous lloyd 
Skylor thinks Kai’s on their side 
Fire!!
good job Kai!
Good skating jay
Skylor, Kai doesn’t want to lose anyone 
but his crush is letting him see the others 
we’re telling the spy first... bad Idea but ig he doesn’t know
ooh ivis! love that guy
Lloyd’s all about responsibility 
Mind just wants to win and not die good for him.
Green power! love it
keep trying Chen lloyd’s just awesome. 
all of us? great lie...
Sword fight!!
Good Garmadon!
skylor trying to get on their good side, character constancy 
and she lost the Jade bald! that will come to bite you! 
LLoyd!!
Yes Lloyd won, you cheated Chen!!
We’re all against you!!
and he turns around at Skylors words nice. 
Zane!!!
aww he’s talking to pixal
Carlof is worried awww
“you’re alive!!” 
no not silver titanium. 
aww the hand!!<33
were is cole? right here!
 no ghost foreshadowing! well I like it but like poor boy. 
and end on Nya and Dareth but mostly nya good I like it. 
19 notes · View notes
impulsiveswiftie · 1 month
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2/14/2024 Valentines Day.
I couldn’t really choose just one photo, so I chose multiple.
Despite Not actually meeting her, She’s actually managed to revise/ rework my life. Not particularly in large ways but in small ways and many, (Kaitlyn, a total stranger) inspired different aspects of my life.
A little over the past year Kaitlyn has inadvertently influenced me so much, when it comes to style/music/personal hobbies and so much more. Only being accustomed to the music I was raised around and my own personal taste of Taylor Swift, seeing all of Kait’s tiktoks has not only made me seamlessly fall head over heels for her exceptionally stellar looks but also made me love new music (new to me). On top of the Olivia Rodrigo, Billy Joel and Ofc Taylor Swift I already listen to; The 1975, Harry Styles, Phoebe Bridgers, Maisie Peters and absolutely far from least Gracie Abrams were the new artists in my life that I now absolutely love and admire. Sometimes being the sci-fioving nerd I can be, I love to look at it like the butterfly effect or inadvertently changing a timeline, like If I never was shown these things I wouldnt have done any of those things.
During the winter in January/ February (2023) I need something to do, especially to kill so much time while waiting for the Era’s tour later that May. Aside from playing Fortnite, I’d be playing Minecraft for hours Listening to The 1975 and Harry Styles, listening to ‘About You’ or ‘Sign of The Times’. There are A handful of song I’d have on repeat because I just couldn’t get enough of them. At the end of 2023, I had a wild scheme to drive from NY to Portland, Oregon to go see the last show The 1975 was preforming for the year. (being in the name),I would have impulsively dropped everything day of and went, unfortunately bad luck struck and I ended my year by getting, not only covid but the flu right after. I was out for almost 2 weeks and unfortunately missed the concert. regardless if and whenever the go on tour again, i’ll be there.
After seeing another one of Kait’s videos, It’s almost like two puzzle pieces clicked in my brain. Like one of those ideas that have thinking “huh… why didnt I think if that”. I had never really ever given any thought to reading for fun or enjoyment, I alway have loathed the idea of reading thanks to school. A friend of mine had tried to convince me into reading, however I just happened to choose the worst book to start with. Dune, a bit of a difficult read, especially for a novice reader and that book requires knowing somethings and lire before actually reading said book. So i had got a few chapters in and gave up. My friend had asked before choosing a genre, “what kind if movies do you like? whichever it is, let that be your starting point for choosing”. It had never crossed my mind that Romance would be the best thing to go with, on of my favorite type of movies just in the form of a book. Full credit to Kaitlyn, I had a new lovely little hobby to enjoy. On top reading during that time, I had a list of shows i had been binge watching, again credit where credit is due; Gilmore Girls’ had just jumped to the top of my list and was the only thing I watched, every. single. day. so much that It had cut into my reading time, I had to leave the house to go to barns and noble just to get some chapters in. I was watching so much I managed to get my family involved half way through the show, they wanted to keep watching more than me.
In May, I went to go see Maisie Peters in Radio city, in NY. The whole show was such a unique experience, sitting with all the fans during the acoustic set but there Q&A segment was so sweet and felt so genuine and personal, I was in love with everything and Maisie. I had accidentally gotten tickets for a night in Philadelphia, so I brought a friend and saw her again in August. Maisie and her team are an absolute riot. Again, had I not seen Kait’s tiktok with the song “Not Another Rockstar” playing, I wouldnt have been introduced to Maisie Peters, I wouldnt have listen to her songs, I wouldnt have been there to experience the release of ‘The Good Witch’ and finally wouldn’t have attended the tour twice.
This past January I went to Sydney Australia to attend The Good Riddance Tour, to see Gracie. One could say If I had not been introduced to her, I wouldn’t have gone to Australia or even like Gracie Abrams for that matter. The people, their outfits and love and appreciation for Gracie was insane. After the show was over I dont think i had ever felt so sad that it was over.. The entire week building up to that friday night, and it was over in just a few hours. I was so happy and so emotional during and after the show, I had just wished that that day, that night, could have just lasted a little while longer. After it was over seeing everyone crying and hugging made me feel like I was at the Era’s tour again. I had the heart breaking feeling of, it’s over and she’s gone, off to her next location. Regardless i’m still so greatful I even had the opportunity to fly from NY to Australia and see her. It was a hell of a night.
In the conclusion, what i’ve seen across social media, Kaitlyn has me head over heels for her, she’s has made the biggest imprint on my life anyone has ever made. My love for Taylor and her music has grown exponentially because of her, My emotions for Gracie and her music have become so intense that she’s become a big part of my life just like Taylor. Taylor Swift said that, ” You are what you love” and my room design feels so much like me, more than it ever has, being influenced by Kaitlyn and everything I love. I could go on and continue this super long essay and talk about how unbelievably beautiful and pretty Kait is; Talk about how her heavenly cute hair compliments her sparkling smile that is the best anyone on this planet could ever have. I wholeheartedly believe in another universe, me and Kait are best friends.
This ‘confession of love’ Is me airing my feeling about Kaitlyn and how she’s changed and influenced my life, regardless of not knowing her, It’s funny how just one person can effect your life so much. She doesn’t know it but, she’s so incredibly important to me and i’m just her biggest fan.
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sparring-hyena · 3 years
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Ok i got a request . Remember how Chris Kait and James got those special 1 chapter episodes where they go on special dates. It would be cool to see Beccas. So its set after Book 3. Instead of going to the festival with the gang Mc decides to visit Becca first at her lakehouse and then they go to the festival just her and Becca. They ll share lots of sweet moments at the pool more fun at the concert and later on at home things can get a bit heated.
Becca reaches for her phone with the intent to scroll through her social feeds. really, she does. opening her messaging app is a reflex. opening the short text thread she has with Alex is just an accident. and typing out a hey, what’re you up to? is… a mistake? some kind of predetermined notion written into the fabric of reality?
whatever. it doesn’t matter what it is. no, what matters is that she does, send a text to Alex that is, and that she tosses her phone to the other side of couch as soon as she hits send, almost like it burns her hands.
she stares at her phone, waits for it to react to what she just did—maybe it’ll implode. she’s almost surprised when her phone buzzes a few minutes later. and she’ll never admit to just how fast she jumps forward to snatch it up.
it’s Alex. Alex responded. okay. cool cool cool.
my friends and i are on a road trip. we’ve just passed into California. you?
the you? twists itself into Becca’s mind. slips into every nook and cranny until it’s she can think and feel, and her heart is going ba-dum ba-dum and she definitely can’t just say oh, not much. just by myself at my dad’s lake house because he’s trying to buy my love now that my parents are getting divorced. except she does say that. word for word. it tumbles from her mind onto her phone and then she hits send and holds her breath in her throat as she waits for Alex’s response.
want some company then?
and what really surprised Becca is that she answers with yes.
-
in the days leading up to Alex’s arrival she cleans. not that there’s much to clean—the house is big, and she’s kept to one small part of it. she also rifles through her closet and decides, an hour before Alex is due to arrive, that she doesn’t have anything to wear. the clothes laying forgotten on her bed disagree, but she ignores that and feels the anxiety twist itself around her.
and then her phone buzzes and there’s a knock at the door. Alex is here. Alex is early.
shit.
she tosses on the first thing she can grab and runs her hands through her hair before darting down to the front door.
when Becca opens the door, Alex greets her with a warm smile that simultaneously calms and frightens. frightens, because how does her smile have such an effect on me. they stand awkwardly in the doorway until Alex clears her throat and asks, “did you wanna invite me in?”
“right.” Becca steps aside and motions Alex in.
Alex whistles as she looks around, still holding her bag in front of her. “nice place.”
Becca shrugs, because it is nice, stunning really, but the house doesn’t feel quite right—it never really has. it’s big and empty and somehow always manages to be cold even during summer.
“come on, i’ll show you around.”
-
it’s as they walk through the house that Becca realises she’s not quite sure what they are. they aren’t enemies, and now she wonders if they ever actually were. and they definitely aren’t dating. dating implies some level of commitment that Becca doubts she could ever really give. and then there would be intimacy and comfort and little inside jokes that they’d share quiet smiles over.
but that doesn’t matter anyway because she would never want to date Alex—never ever. dating Alex would be complicated and messy and she has a reputation and expectations that Alex doesn’t fit and—
“you doin’ alright there?”
“huh?” Becca shakes the thoughts away.
Alex tilts her head to the side and offers a small curious smile that manages to worm its way into Becca’s heart and find a place for itself amidst all the dark twisty tendrils that have been growing with each passing day.
“why are you looking at me like that?” Becca asks, her tone both defensive and amused.
“like what?”
“like you’re trying to read my mind.”
“i’m not, i just—” Alex sighs and Becca suddenly wonders what she’d been about to say. “you mentioned swimming?”
“swimming, right.” Becca knows a digression when she hears one, but she points to a room Alex can get changed in and says she’ll meet her downstairs.
-
Becca doesn’t actually swim. she sits on the edge of the dock beneath the dying afternoon sun and traces the water with her toes. Alex swims though, splashes around for a short while and tries to gently prod Becca in too. but Becca holds firm and insists that she’s more than happy on the dock.
Alex climbs out later, dripping water onto the dock and creating a small puddle that manages to spread and reach Becca’s leg. she pretends Alex dripping water on her irritates her and pretends to hate it when she flicks water at her.
Alex sits down beside her, and Becca thinks she’s waiting for her to break the silence that’s comfortably settled between them.
“do you wanna talk about it?” Alex finally asks.
Becca wonders which it they’re talking about—her parents’ divorce or the fact that some fundamental piece of their relationship or friendship or whatever they are, is changing. maybe it’s both. maybe it’s neither.
“thank you for visiting me,” she says instead. “i’m sure it pales in comparison to a road trip with your friends.”
“hardly.” Alex smiles and nudges Becca’s shoulder with her own. “we were all cramped in a van that doesn’t have working a/c. besides, i like hanging out with you, it’s…”
Becca raises her eyebrows, curious and nudging Alex on.
“easy.”
Becca laughs, like, full body laughs. never in her life has she been described as easy to be around.
“what’s so funny?”
“nothing, nothing.” Becca tries to suppress her laughter, but it doesn’t work.
“i was trying to be nice.” Alex makes a show of being hurt, even makes to leave, but the smile on her face tells a very different story.
“no, sorry.” Becca places her hand gently on Alex’s arm; wants her to believe the sincerity behind her words. “it was nice and i didn’t mean to laugh. i’ve just never been described as easy before, and with everything going on, i guess it’s been a while since something’s made me laugh.”
“oh.” Alex settles on the dock again and Becca’s hand remains on her arm. “are you talking with your parents much?”
Becca shrugs. “mom’s trying. i think we’re both just having a hard time adjusting to speaking to each other. it’s been good but strange.”
“and your dad?”
Becca barks out a laugh. “i think he’s just as clueless. only difference is he’s not making much of an effort. my sister and i were supposed to spend some time with him here over the summer. look how that turned out.”
“i’m sorry.”
“i don’t need pity—”
“i wasn’t pitying you.”
“i know, but it’s just…”
“just…?”
and Alex’s arm is suddenly very warm beneath Becca’s hand. warm and solid and grounding and— they’ve done this before. played this game where they share their insecurities and offer something dangerously close to companionship.
it won’t end well, she thinks, but her heart thumps along and tells her to indulge just this once. what’s one more time anyway?
“we shouldn’t,” Becca breathes, because one of them needs to say it.
“probably,” Alex agrees, but neither of them move to put some space between them.
“but we could.”
“definitely.”
“it would be” —amazing is the word she thinks— “fun,” is the word she says with a playful lilt to her voice that she hopes distracts from the longing want she can feel in her bones.
they’re closer now, faces no more than a couple inches apart, and the air around them feels stiff somehow, like the world around them took one massive breath and is now waiting for them to do something about the balloon of tension that’s been slowly inflating for months.
and then the balloon bursts, and there’s kissing and moaning and wandering hands and— oh god, Becca suddenly remembers why she wanted to do this again. it feels like electricity zapping up and down her body. it hurts and it heals, and she wonders if they’ll ever do this again—silently hopes that they will.
she pulls Alex closer, decides that it’s still not enough—some tiny part of her heart hums and says that it never will be—and moves to straddle her lap and thread her fingers through her hair.
“here?” Alex asks between frantic and hurried kisses.
Becca hums and urges Alex’s hands further down her body.
it happens quickly after that. the coil inside Becca tightens each time Alex moves her fingers and moans her name and nips at her neck and— it snaps. the coil snaps and its wonderful and horrible and Becca is suddenly acutely aware of the place Alex holds in her heart.
and that— it terrifies her, because for the first time in her life she has no idea how it will go.
-
they head back up to the house not long later, stumbling through the first floor and upstairs as they share laughs and kisses. and when they reach the foot of the bed, Becca pushes Alex back and is quick to return the favour.
-
Becca wakes early in the morning on her side and facing Alex who’s fast asleep and completely dead to the world. she takes this moment, this brief interlude, to consider her next move.
the last time they did this, she left as soon as she woke up. though leaving isn’t exactly an option right now, and Becca finds that even if it were, leaving is the last thing she wants to do.
she brings her hand to Alex’s face and brushes a loose piece of hair behind her ear. the gesture, though small, is enough to cause Alex to stir.
“hi,” Alex says, her voice heavy with sleep and eyes barely open.
“hi.”
“you were right,” she says, sporting a tired grin, “it was fun.”
Becca hums and shifts closer to Alex, tracing lazy patterns on her shoulder. “how long can you stay?”
“how long do you want me to stay?”
“i asked you first.”
“so?”
“humour me.”
their back-and-forth is light, airy. it’s how they usually talk. but there’s insecurity that hides beneath it all. insecurity that itches to be breathed into the world and soothed away.
“well, my friends and i were going to the aurora music festival tomorrow.”
“oh.”
“but maybe, if you wanted to, you could come with?”
“are you asking me to go with you?”
“i asked you first.”
Becca smacks Alex’s shoulder but can’t stop the smile on her face. “yes, i want to go.”
“good” —Alex leans in then, stops only when their lips are just about to touch— “because i really want you to come with me.”
“is that so?”
Alex hums and brings their lips together in a slow and easy kiss that Becca’s all too happy to get lost in.
“wait, hang on.” Alex pulls away, a suddenly serious expression on her face. “you didn’t tell me how long you wanted me to stay.”
forever is the word she thinks, but she just smiles and brings their lips together again, and she thinks that Alex might just understand.
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Kait, Kait I just had an idea 😳
"Who Is She? (Reprise)" from the Centaurworld for Lila/Wisteria. I need to hear your thoughts on this because I am feeling so many feelings rn jfthfhgth
Help me, I think I’m far too gone And my reflection has become an unfamiliar someone So close, but I think I’m stuck in place I don’t deserve you, now that I forgot your face Who is she? She’s the ghost of the girl I used to know Who is she? She’s the echo I’m chasing Who is she? Oh, I swore that I’d never let her go And now the one I held so dear, my mind’s erasing It takes a little boldness, and a little bit of magic I went on my own, but now I’m alone I’m lost and I am panicked I think I should go, into the unknown So say bye, to the old
Oh, I have feelings about this because it reminds me of when Wisteria is faced with reality instead of delusion. I think about the time when it all changed and there was no going back to what it used to be. In my eyes, I can see her staring dazedly at her reflection in a dirty mirror in the basement of Mint Eye after she made that spur-of-the-moment decision to trust Saeyoung.
Her loyalty is to Unknown and not to anything else, and she feared for his safety. She knew that Savior wouldn't be able to do anything. She risked her chances, risked that fear in her heart that Unknown would never trust her again, knowing that he needed help and that his one chance was probably this redheaded man who she still couldn't dare trust herself. In his golden eyes, she saw fear for her Unknown. That was all it took to make a split-second decision.
But, where does that leave her, then? She was punished for letting Saeyoung escape. She was punished for not doing more to stop her boss from being kidnapped by Vanderwood. She was punished just because Rika was upset that her plan was floundering and she was the easiest target to take out her frustration on. We know she's left lost in a stupor of elixir and pain until Saeyoung is brought back to Mint Eye with Vanderwood, Minji & Judas, and Unknown.
Wisteria lay there on the floor, whispering what happened and what she had to do to protect them and Unknown, and Minji is the one in that situation who tells her that she's not a bad person. She helped them save him... and even though they're trapped, they're trying to help her and Unknown escape this place. But, she's far away from all of them in that. She just sees her reflection in the candlelight and is lost.
When I listened to this song, I didn't think about her transformation into Wisteria. I thought about when Lila is confronted with her past self and her current self. I see her looking at her tired eyes, broken soul, and chipped heart. I see her not knowing who she is, seeing a memory of herself before it all started, and not knowing who that is anymore because that bubbly, shy, and passionate person was lost during her stay in Mint Eye.
"Who is she? Who... is... she...? I don't remember her. I would know a face like hers... but I don't anymore. I'm sure I don't deserve her as my reflection because I've done wrong and she's... just... harmless." She would think. Her former self feels like a memory... an echo she'll never find again.
But, as we know, this is Wisteria's peak moment to decide what she wants to be. When we see her in the basement, we don't know if she will turn against them once Unknown comes for her or if she'll do the impossible and save everyone from destruction. She's lost in the dark and in the unknown... and I think picturing her bouncing between her identity before Mint Eye and her current self as she runs throughout the halls of Mint Eye to stop Unknown from shooting V is what fits this scenery.
Maybe she does catch the memory... if only because when she looks into Unknown's eyes as his fingers tremble against the gun, confused and afraid, it's not Wisteria who wants to save him from committing a crime he can't take back, it's Lila... who fell for him despite his crass and vindictive nature, wanting his soft eyes that looked at her and promised her that she'd never know the burn of elixir if he could help it.
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aubieinsanity · 10 months
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#trigunbookclub | Vol 1 | 05-06
Click here for an archive of all my #trigunbookclub posts
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Damn right they are!!!
(Love that he sees Milly as the "smart" one here -- not to dunk on Milly though, 'cause she's actually extremely perceptive underneath her happy-go-lucky demeanor! )
Commentary under the cut!
[Art & Story by Yasuhiro Nightow. Translation by Trigun Ultimate Overhaul.] [Disclaimer: I have consumed much meta content & had many conversations about Trigun on Tumblr and Discord since earlier in 2023. Lots of my commentary will be a result of cooperative analysis, so thank you to all who share their thoughts!] [Warning: While I will mostly avoid manga spoilers, some of my commentary will involve discussion of future topics. I am also assuming readers have seen the 98 anime and/or Trigun Stampede and are at least somewhat familiar with some of the major story beats.]
At the beginning here we see Vash obtaining an absurd amount of food for Kaite, who Vash has keenly noticed is hungry but won't admit it. (What a sweetie.)
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Vash goes on to try to comfort the kid by pointing out it's probably too dark outside for a raid, and also by musing that humanity's arrival on this planet might have been a good thing, after all. Kaite immediately turns the tables back on Vash in another shining example of the perceptive capabilities of the seemingly innocent:
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Kaite was born into hardship, into the struggle of humanity to survive on a planet that was never meant to sustain them. I suppose the people from the early days after the big fall might have spoken with more optimism, lived with hope that they might build a happy life on this new planet. By the time Kaite's generation rolls around, they know full well how rough this life is, with no hope of things getting any better.
Vash subsequently collapses to the floor and passes out, having taken a drink from a cup that the kid had apparently laced with some kind of drug.
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~ Plantussy count: 5 ~
Introducing the leader of the Bad Lad Gang: Brilliant Dynamites Neon. (God, these names...)
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I actually kind of love BDN's character design. He's a neon cowboy who is somehow both intimidating and completely extra.
We see that Kaite is part of some nefarious plan of BDN's, which is about to get underway. Oh, look! They're attacking the sand steamer!
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Poor Milly and Meryl, who had been asleep in their narrow bunks, awake to the commotion and slam their heads into the bed panels. (The thought of trying to sleep in those things makes me feel so claustrophobic.)
The Bad Lads show no mercy as they gun down those in their way. This group of bandits, led by BDN, are here to claim whatever valuables they can find, particularly from the wealthy passengers aboard.
The scene cuts to Vash in a dream state (Also, Vash is now laying on the bed??? Did Kaite, like, move him?? All by himself??? I'm picturing this small kid going through the trouble of moving this tall dorito of a man from the floor to the bed, which he absolutely did not need to do. Maybe Kaite felt guilty for double-crossing him. Maybe it was a small thank you for feeding him. Maybe a bit of both.)
Vash hears singing, then he sees her: Rem. Though we don't yet get a lot of information about this woman or her relationship to Vash, it is immediately clear that she is very, very important to him.
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(Also Vash has his real left arm in this dream T_T)
Rem is so foundational to the way Vash views the world and the way he chooses to live his life. She is his foundation. How often does he dream of her like this?
Vash immediately starts opening up to her, talking about his reality as if it were some bad dream. In this short scene, we see that Vash looks to Rem for guidance. He looks to her to supply him with meaning, with motivation.
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Rem laughs and teases him for being so serious, even in a dream. She then delivers her iconic "blank ticket" line:
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Again, this is Vash's foundation. This idea that your fate is not predetermined, that you always, always have a choice. Vash makes a choice every single day to live the way he does.
The whole "blank ticket" thing comes up a lot in the manga, and even came up in s1 of Stampede!
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The dream shatters, and Vash shouts her name before waking and rolling off the bed with tears in his eyes.
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(omg I love his dopey face after he gets wedged in between the bed and the wall)
Fortunately, this prevents him from being discovered by a member of the Bad Lads who poked into the room. Vash snaps back to reality as he realizes something is amiss.
The scene shifts, and we see BDN frustrated by the lack of money and valuables he's been able to lift off the wealthy passengers--that is, until he learns that most of the valuables on board are locked away in a safe, the combination to which no one on the ship knows (as an added security measure for, y'know, bandit raids like this.) He then orders the conductors to ramp up to top speed and head toward a cliff, intending to crash the entire sand steamer in order to break open the vault. Obviously an insane plan that would result in the death of everyone aboard.
Chapter 6 opens with the sand steamer's protective escort, whose vehicles have been damaged by the bandits, leaving them stranded. They note that the sand steamer is no longer in sight, and they can hear the sound of it accelerating.
Cut to the control room of the steamer. One of the conductors attempts to pull the brake, and BDN shoots him through the head. Kaite is brought to the control room, BDN asks him how to steer the steamer, and the kid reveals an unexpectedly detailed knowledge of the ship's engineering.
The plan was originally just to loot the ship then dip out, but when Kaite finds out that the new plan is to crash the ship, he begs BDN not to do it. (Didn't your mom ever tell you not to trust the leader of a criminal gang, kid?)
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Kaite begins to argue, but BDN ain't havin' none of it. BDN starts beating the crap out of him, but Kaite stubbornly continues to argue and beg. He finally reveals that this is his dad's ship. Then we get this amazing, visceral imagery of BDN's gun clattering against Kaite's chattering teeth. It's seriously SO good. I can just hear that panel.
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BDN is definitely about to put a bullet in this kid's skull (we just saw him do the same thing to the conductor, so we know he's not fuckin' around) but our boy Vash arrives just in time to save Kaite's life. He appears outside the front window and shatters it. It looks to me like he fired three shots into the empty conductor's chair:
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look at him swingin' in, he monkey
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Through a series of insane stunts, Vash manages to extract Kaite from danger.
One thing that stands out to me here: In their escape, Vash and Kaite are clambering along the outside of the sand steamer. In a panic they realize the ship is definitely about to clip a rock outcrop on their side.
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You know what this reminds me of? The scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (an excellent movie, btw) where Indy is stuck on the outside of a military tank and about to crash into some rocks.
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I feel like this has gotta be intentional. Nightow was obviously a fan of westerns, cowboys, etc. and I can definitely see him being a fan of Indiana Jones. This particular film came out in 1989, which would have given Nightow plenty of lead time to incorporate an homage into his series, which didn't start publication until 1995.
Anyway,
Milly and Meryl are lurking in the shadows like little gremlins, BDN threatens the last remaining conductor to comply by holding a teary female passenger at gunpoint, and we cut back to Vash and Kaite making their way back inside the sand steamer. Vash is so fucking done with Kaite and the Bad Lads and all of it.
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We get a little more info re: Kaite's dad, that he was a workaholic and presumably not the most present and participatory father. Yet Kaite obviously harbors more than resentment -- he loved and respected his father.
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(I just love this panel)
Vash announces that they're going to put a stop to this and doesn't give Kaite a choice in the matter of helping out. Kaite then pulls out a detailed blueprint of the sand steamer (named 'Flourish') which he freaking copied by hand from the original (which his father designed) right down to the handwritten notes in the margins. This kid...had mad respect for his father's work. It's so wonderful and sad all at once. Brilliant engineering, in exchange for a man being a present father to his son. A brief flashback shows there was no lack of love; Kaite merely wanted more of his father's time. But at the same time, Kaite understood, deep down.
Then Kaite breaks down and starts crying, expressing regret for selling out his father's work, just for some cash. (um and also a bunch of people are about to die?) ........but Vash puts a stop to this.
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Basically, "GET IT TOGETHER, KID!!!" We can still do something about this, do not despair, it ain't over 'till it's over, etc.
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Oh, Vash.......💖 Spreading hope wherever he goes...
And finally,
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~ Plantussy count: 7 ~
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tc-doherty · 7 months
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9, 11, 19 and 20 for the asks! :D
Favourite OC?
Ithea, it's no contest! She's just been part of my life for so long. After her I really feel like Dante needs serious consideration because he was a side character from an RP in middle school who I continued thinking about and draw pictures of until I decided to put him in a novel like. last year. So obviously I really like him! I also love Gheist a lot~
Sum up one or more of your wips!
Well summaries of my work are very easy to access however I feel like when it comes to Silverwood I usually just do the sort of overall vibe, but I don't know that I've necessarily gotten into the core conflicts of each generation.
1st generation the conflict is between Ithea and her father on one hand and Ithea and her brother on the other hand. Her father is trying to undermine their race for various reasons and she sees it while others don't because she wasn't raised in that culture. She wants to put a stop to him and his bullshit but unfortunately only manages to turn almost everyone against her so things proceed even faster after she dies. The conflict with her brother is personal and if it weren't for his inability to let go of the past, she might have been able to get more done on the actual conflict that she's worried about but sometimes things don't go the way you want them to.
Generation 2 also has two things going on, there's Charlie who gets involved with a resistance group and ends up funding a failed coup d'état, and all the politics going on over there. There is also Cyan, Gavin, and Kaite who are inventing the concept of organized crime. As for the other siblings there is some information about what they're doing but it's not as important to this particular section of history.
Generation 3 is sort of a domestic arc where the siblings end up coming back together and deal with a bunch of emotional baggage, the world is at this point at least relatively peaceful so there's not so much political nonsense going on it really is just focused on the actual relationships of the Silverwood kids as adults and also their children.
In generation 4 everything goes to shit again and one of Ro's grandchildren leads a revolution and takes over the government of 2 separate countries before deciding that one of them is too troublesome and stays with the other one, prompting all kinds of chaos. If there ever is a generation 5 it will probably revolve around the inheritance rights of the throne that Rona abandoned.
What are some things that inspired your stories? Real events? Maybe a dream?
I am often inspired by dreams actually! I tend to have very plot heavy dreams that I remember well so I've used those on multiple occasions. Celestials, Magic Black as Knight, and Northbound are still active stories that are wholly or partially based on dreams.
Otherwise I get a lot of inspiration from the "wow I would've written a relationship like that so much better" LOL
What story are you the proudest of? Why?
The Ghost! It really is exactly the kind of book that I wanted to be producing when I decided to be a writer, I love the characters and the world building and the story, I think it's held up really well considering how long ago I wrote it, and it just honestly means a lot to me. It's really one that I wrote not just because I had the idea but out of sheer love for the idea and the characters and that love has not diminished ^__^
I'm playing this ask game!
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tangledbea · 3 years
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what do you think about moon powered Varian? I have no sense with moon powered Varian.
MoonCassandra was canon.
Eugene is suitable because he is prince of dark kingdom.The descendant of the family they had kept the stone for generations. So he has close connection with moonstone.
But Varian has nothing connection with moonstone. I know he is son of one of the brotherhood. but it’s means much less connection than Eugene.
Moon Varian actually began life as a “what if” fanart. The person who started it didn’t do so because of any theories they had that it was going to be canon, they just thought it was a cool concept. And when it was a new idea, I thought it was neat. Aesthetically pleasing and just another AU. I mean, I was never that into it, because Varian’s thing was alchemy and mechanics. He didn’t need to have innate magic, too. (Also, while I like Varian, I’ve just never been that attached to him.)
But then people started latching onto it, theorizing that it was going to be canon to the point that they were legitimately upset when it wasn’t (and I’ve even seen some people insist, even now, that it should have been/is, but we never saw it because that’s not the way the plot went (which... the definition of ‘canon’ is what actually happens, not the things we think should have happened). Like, they still think his hair streak has something to do with the Moonstone instead of it just being a character design choice to make him #edgy/ #quirky).
At this point, I honestly, just scroll past it. Moon Varian has been on my dash since 2017, for better or worse, and I’m frankly tired of seeing it. But I’m not going to begrudge the people who like it. I’m not gonna gatekeep and say they ‘aren’t allowed’ to enjoy it in any way they see fit. I don’t dislike it to the point of blocking it. I more don’t understand the attachment to the idea than anything else. I knew all along that it wasn’t going to be canon, because Kait Ritter drew Moon Varian fanart and posted it, something she would not have been allowed to do, per Disney contract, if it had been canon, since it hadn’t happened yet.
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bothcreativitybois · 3 years
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TMST Chapter 8
I was freaking out because no one was commenting on Chapter 8... turns out I hadn’t posted it... 🤡 I am so sorry. Ao3 link Wordcount: 2507 Ship: Intruality TWs: Food, hospital, crying Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Taglist: @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper @newtnotfound @3amthebitchinghour @idont-freaking-know @someoneiwasnt @crownofrats @the-sympathetic-villain @cute-and-angsty-princess @lonelymuffin @bloodyjay-0666 @im-an-anxious-wreck @fantasticallytired @obsessive-fallen-angel 
“What do you mean I can’t bake?!” Patton shouted. “It’s a bakery!” Remus put up his hands to try and calm the angry man. “Janus just needs a day or two to get some of the painting done with spray paint.” Remus explained, his truck behind him filled with tarps and paints. “You said you wanted all the paint done for the Valentine's Day class, right?” “Yeah I know…” Patton huffed. He really didn’t like the idea of being locked out of the kitchens for two days. “Well it’s later this week. He can do brush for most of it but he wants to do this one part with spray paint.” Remus continued. “Consider it a vacation.” Remus tried to help Patton see the bright side. Patton sighed. “Just two days?” Patton asked. Remus put his hands on Patton’s shoulders. “Yes, that’s all. You deserve the break anyway.” Remus comforted. Patton looked up at the sign Remus had hung yesterday, the one he’d been waiting months for and Remus had it up in only about a week. Remus was doing so much to help him. He trusted him. “Alright.” Patton finally agreed. “But please have it done as soon as possible.” “Of course. You can trust me.” Remus said, Janus scoffed behind him. Patton laughed. He looked up at the sign again. It reminded him of something. Something he hadn’t done in a while. “You’re okay doing it all with just the two of you?” Patton asked. “If Remus touches my paint’s I’ll stab him in the hand again.” Janus shouted from the truck. “Again?” Patton turned to Remus who just shrugged. “We’ll be okay. Go do whatever you want.” Remus assured again as he pushed Patton towards his car.
An hour later Patton was in the city. He had stopped at a florist to get some flowers. As he walked in he was almost floored with all the scents that hit him at once. As he looked over the pots and shelves full of colourful flowers a worker came up to him. “Anything I can help with?” The lady asked in a friendly tone. Patton looked up quickly. He glanced quickly at the name tag that read ‘Charlie’.  “Believe it or not I’m looking for flowers.” Patton joked, Charlie offered a polite laugh.  “Anything in particular?” Charlie looked around at the mounds of flowers. Patton thought for a moment. He knew the answer to this. The same he always got. “Carnation and Peruvian lily.” Patton answered. The worker suddenly had a realisation. “You must be Patton.” Charlie said after a moment. Patton laughed. “I come here that much, huh?” He joked. Truthfully it wasn’t his first time here, but he’d never met Charlie before so he didn’t want to act like he knew the shop. It’d been a while since he came here so he thought maybe the staff had forgotten him anyway. “There’s a note behind the counter on your usual bouquet.” Charlie clarified. “I can make it for you right now.” She walked off and began gathering flowers. Patton looked around as she worked. He was drawn to the back of the store. A shelf without flowers, just small bottles. Most seemed to be perfumes or flower oils but one stood out. “When did you start stocking rose essence?” Patton asked as he plucked the bottle off the shelf. Charlie didn’t look up from arranging the flowers. “Just got it last week.” She shouted from her workstation. Patton turned the small bottle of flavouring over in his hands and inspected the clear liquid inside. “You a baker or a bartender?” Patton turned and began walking to the counter, bottle in hand. “Baker.” He said proudly, although he wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to call himself that. “Those are the only two kinds of people we get looking for that.” Charlie said as she taped up the paper around the flowers. With Valentine's Day coming soon he knew he could find some way to use it. He paid for the flowers and also got a bottle of the essence. He dropped his essence in the car and looked across the street at his next stop. It was really convenient that they had a florist across from the hospital. He walked into the reception and was greeted with a familiar face this time. “Patton! Long time no see.” The nurse said. “Here to see Moe?” The nurse already knew the answer but asked nonetheless.  “Of course.” Patton responded. The nurse typed a few things on the computer before looking up again.  “She’s still in the same room. You can go on through.” The nurse smiled. Patton nodded. “Thanks Kait!” Patton called as he walked away. He began humming to himself as he walked. A small song he made to remember the way. “Third hall left, up two flights, fifth room right. Third hall left, up to flights, fifth room right.” Patton hummed this all the way until he reached the right room. At this point he didn’t really need the song to remember but it had become a habit. It helped calm his nerves. He took a deep breath and knocked gently on the already slightly open door. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, she was the one who asked he visited less. She wanted him to focus on the bakery. “Come in.” A voice answered. Patton pushed open the door the rest of the way. He looked over at the bed to see his mother, she smiled as soon as she saw him. “Froggy.” She cheered. Patton quickly walked over and hugged her. “Hi Mum.” He whispered as she squeezed him tightly. He didn’t realise how much he missed her hugs until he was having one. He leaned back and gave her the flowers he was carrying. Even though she got this same bouquet each time he visited she was still excited and sniffed it deeply. “Thank you, dear. It’s lovely.” She said caressing the flowers. “How have you been?” Patton asked finally as he pulled a chair close to the bed. His mother sat up quickly and turned to him. A wide proud smile broke across her face. “They’re saying if the inflammation stays where it is then I should be out by the end of the month!” She announced excitedly. Patton smiled. He wanted to get excited, he really did, but the doctors said the same thing last month. “That’s great!” Patton praised with as much excitement he could muster. “I can’t wait to have you back.” Patton reached out a hand and his mother took it in hers. He really meant that. He missed having his mother around to handle business while he baked. He missed having her hug him each morning. He missed her doting over every new recipe, how she lit up when she tried it, how she would smile proudly as he baked, how she would poke his cheek and tell him everything will be okay. He missed her.  “How’s the bakery?” Moe asked. She knew it was in bad shape when she left, but Patton hadn’t visited in nearly a month. She was blissfully unaware of everything happening. Patton wasn’t and fidgeted at the question. “Well… there was a bit of a mix up.” He began. As he looked up he saw her face change. She was so happy a moment ago but now she looked scared. He hated seeing that. “Uh but don’t worry! It will all be fixed by the time you get out.” Patton misled. It wasn’t completely untrue, the problem would be over by then. It was just a question of how that would happen. “Are you sure you don’t need my help?” Moe stressed. Patton waved a finger. “You know that you aren’t supposed to work.” He reminded her. “Besides I actually have some people already helping.” He admitted. Moe looked over curiously. “People as in worker people or as in friend people?” Her voice sparkled mischievously. This was the first time Patton had seen her since he had met Remus and the others, she’d not heard anything about friends. 
He explained everything that had happened, omitting the part where the bakery may be shut down. Moe listened closely, it was so long since she’d seen him and each day she just wanted to hear his voice again. As much as it hurt her to not see him as much as she used to, he needed to focus on the bakery, on making friends, on everything being normal again. She noticed something about the way he talked about this ‘Remus’ guy. The way he described him and the face he made when he spoke about him. It was more than just friendship. So when are you going to stop messing about and ask Remus on a date?” Moe said after Patton was done his story. Blunt as always. Patton blushed. “Wh-what?” Patton stuttered. He didn’t know why he felt so embarrassed about it. It wasn’t like he was a closeted high school kid anymore. “I don’t think he’s interested in me like that.” “Are you?” Moe asked quickly. “I don’t have the time to think about that.” Patton gave the same answer he’d given Janus. Moe gave him a hard stare. “Great. Now try again but tell me the truth.” She pressed. She could see right through him. Patton sighed. Perhaps it would be good to get it out. Especially with someone he trusted. “It’s a lot of things. Remus is the first guy I’ve been interested in since the break up which is a little startling. His friend has said he has an issue with boundaries and honestly I can see it. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that would date someone like me and even if he did I doubt we’d want the same things from it. He doesn’t seem like the guy who wants more than a hook-up or maybe a few dates.” Patton finally let out. He’d been holding it all in and it felt good to say it. Moe took a minute to process everything Patton had said.  “I can think of one cure-all solution that might work.” Moe suggested after a while. Patton leaned in eagerly. “Just talk to the damn guy!” She shouted. Patton leaned back and sighed. He knew that was what he needed to do, but it was also the thing he was avoiding. He finally had someone, he had friends, and that could all be ruined if he said anything. “But what if it goes badly?” Patton said sadly. Moe took her son's hand once again. “Then it wasn’t gonna work out anyway. It might be better to get an answer now before it is too late and it hurts someone’s feelings very badly.” Moe soothed. Her son was so timid, she didn’t want him to miss out on something special because of it. But more so he was sensitive. And he made connections quickly. It was a perfect recipe for a crash and burn. 
Patton stayed late at the hospital. Talking for hours with his mother, playing games in the visitor lounge, catching up. Until visiting hours ended and he had to leave. He clung to her one last time, knowing he wouldn’t get the chance to again for a while. When his mum was first brought to hospital when he was a teenager they had made a rule. No crying until after the visit. They had always stuck to this rule, even subconsciously. That’s why the tears didn’t hit until Patton was home. It wasn’t until he stepped into that cold night air that his eyes suddenly began to blur and his chest felt like it was disappearing. In that dark and silence he realised just how lonely he felt. He braced himself against the railing as he walked up the stairs to his apartment. As he got to the door he saw Remus sitting in front of it. He tried to wipe his face before Remus saw him but it was already too late. Remus didn’t say anything, he just ran up to Patton and hugged him. Patton fell into the hug without hesitation. He cherished the feeling of Remus’ arms wrapped around him. He suddenly didn’t feel as lonely. “You aren’t hurt, right?” Remus finally broke the silence but kept the hug. Patton laughed sadly. “No. I just…” Patton began. His mum’s words ran through his head. Just talk to the damn guy! “My mum is in the hospital and I went to visit her.” Patton admitted through sobs. It was the first time he’d told Remus about it. “She has an inflammatory disease and at the end of last year she had some problems with it that affected some of her organs, she’s been in the hospital ever since.” Remus tightened the hug. Patton felt himself nuzzle closer into the larger man’s chest as he heaved. “You don’t need to explain. I’m here for you.” Remus whispered. Patton gripped the back of his shirt. He was shaking like a baby foal on it’s first steps. “I felt so guilty at the picnic for having fun while she was stuck there.” Patton wheezed. Remus felt his heart break from Patton’s words. He didn’t know how to comfort people like Janus does, he wasn’t good with words like Roman. But none of that mattered. He just wanted Patton to be happy again. “Is there anything you want me to do that can help?” Remus asked. Patton looked up at him, eyes larger than the moon. “Just stay. Please.” Patton begged. As a response Remus pressed a kiss to the top of Patton’s head.  “As long as you need.” Remus promised. And he did. He made Patton dinner while holding his hand, he waited just outside the bathroom as Patton showered, he turned off the lights and tucked Patton under the blankets. As Remus stepped away Patton grabbed his hand. He wasn’t ready to be alone again. “Not yet. Please don’t go.” Patton whispered weakly. Remus wasn’t sure what to do, but if Patton needed him then he would stay. He kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed. Patton immediately clung to his chest again. Remus gently placed his arms around Patton again. He could feel each sob and catch in Patton’s breathing. “I’m sorry.” Patton choked. “Don’t be.” Remus reassured as he buried his face in Patton’s hair. “I’d want to sleep with me too.” He joked. He felt Patton giggle sadly at him. He smiled proudly at himself and pulled Patton closer. He kept track of every sob and heave until eventually they all became steady and the small man’s grip weakened. He knew he should leave, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to abandon Patton. Or the calming feeling of their bodies pressed together in the darkness. He talked circles in his mind debating whether to stay until finally sleep made the choice for him.
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misssophiachase · 3 years
Text
You Make My Heart Smile
So, happy (belated) birthday, Tina @tnapki Your edits make me smile (pardon the pun) and I wanted to thank you for that and everything you bring to the fandom.
I based it on your GORGEOUS EDIT
I also made it about food cause it’s SO you. On AO3 HERE
Also thanks to the gorgeous Kait @an-awesome-wavve for being amazing and my part brainstorm, part beta, part researcher and part undercover partner in crime. 
Renowned Chef Klaus Mikaelson has a bad reputation until he meets food blogger Caroline Forbes and has no idea how to handle her or the unfamiliar feelings she evokes, especially that annoying ability to make him smile. 
3 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 3pm
“I’m not going to do some stupid interview, you know I have other, more important things to do, right?”
Klaus Mikaelson didn’t do interviews. He didn’t need to because his accomplishments spoke for themselves. He hadn’t slogged away in kitchens since he was twelve and worked his way through culinary school and some of the best restaurants to waste his time. 
Being a world-renowned chef owning not one, but four, three-Michelin-starred restaurants across the globe meant he could do whatever the hell he wanted. 
But yet here she was running his life. 
Still. 
“Like yell at me? I mean, you’ve been doing that since we were little so I guess it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. ”
“I knew I should have never mixed business and family,” he snapped. “You always throw our childhood back in my face as an excuse to insult my life choices.”
“Because it’s too easy not to,” she pouted, flicking a stray, blonde lock over her shoulder.  “And, while I am unfortunately related to your sorry ass, I am also your publicist and this interview is good for your career.”
“I don’t need publicity.”
“Correction, you do need publicity,” she argued, her fork now attacking the very veal he’d cooked with more fervour than needed. 
“Easy on the product, little sister,” Klaus growled, his protectiveness for his art on full display. 
“Oh, silly me I thought it was already dead,” she shot back, tartly. “And before you interrupted, I was going to say that, yes maybe you shouldn’t need publicity given your career achievements, but that was before you dropped an entree on the food critic’s lap from the Chicago Tribune, fired your sous chef in front of the entire restaurant and insulted Gordon Ramsey on national television.”
“Ramsey is a sell out, I stand by my comments,” he muttered. “The critic had it coming and, now you mention it, so too did that sorry excuse for a sous chef.”
“You realise people call you the angry chef, right?”
“Better than the naked chef I suppose.” He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. Klaus wasn’t in the business for gimmicks or to secure his own cooking program. He took his food seriously and there was nothing wrong with that. 
“At least people like Jamie Oliver,” she replied, arching her eyebrows knowingly. “Anyway, there’s no point in arguing because she’ll be here in five minutes.”
“Please tell me you didn’t just schedule an interview without my permission?”
1717 N. Halsted St, 3:10pm
“What’s with the expression of impending doom, Care Bear?” He asked, lugging his camera equipment as they walked up the block toward Alinea. 
“What have I told you about calling me that?”
“Not to do it but it’s too fun not to, Care Bear.” Given his general maturity level, Caroline decided it was a losing battle and she had more important things on her mind. 
“Anyway, it’s not doom,” she muttered. “It’s just the overwhelming desire not to do this interview but given I don’t want to get fired and also pay my rent, there’s no other option.”
“Is someone afraid of the angry chef?”
“Oh, puh-lease, I’m not afraid. Although, I might not be able to bite my tongue if he decides to insult me like he did Gordon Ramsey.”
Caroline wasn’t one to judge but his indiscretions were well-known and well-documented. Although, chefs with egos weren’t an entirely new phenomenon to the industry or to Caroline given interviewing them was her job.
“You and I both know Ramsey deserved that dressing down, if anything Mikaelson earned my respect that day.” Caroline couldn’t argue with that. 
Although this one was another kind of beast. 
The effortlessly attractive kind. 
For Caroline, this was an unsettling prospect. Until she reminded herself why she was here in the first place. 
Caroline loved food. Sometimes, she thought, more than life itself. 
So, when she became a food blogger after graduating with a journalism degree from Northwestern, it wasn’t a surprise. She was currently the senior blogger at popular food blog Delicious. 
“You love food and writing about it,” Was Enzo reading her mind? “How about instead of focusing on the negative, remember that this will be your biggest interview yet. Think about all of the exposure this will garner.”
The upper echelons of Delicious had decided that an interview with Klaus Mikaelson would be a big scoop. Caroline was all for interviewing chefs about their food and the passion behind it but she knew her editor wanted something less about his craft and more about his bad boy reputation.  
“Yes, but I want to write about food, not produce tabloid fodder.”
“Just think, once you do this then maybe you’ll have enough of a following to start your own blog and write what you want and not what someone tells you to do.”
“Mmmm, you do have a point.”
“Of course I do because Enzo knows everything. Also, take me with you because you’d be lost without me, sweetcheeks.”
“Third person, huh? That ego of yours knows no bounds, Lorenzo.”
“You know it, Care Bear,” he joked, flashing his most dazzling smile. “Well, looks like we’re here.”
“Looks like it,” she murmured, noting the intimidating sign overhead and wondering what she’d gotten herself into. “Here goes nothing.”
3:15pm
“Caroline Forbes?” 
“You must be Rebekah and this is my photographer Lorenzo St John.”
Klaus, who’d been throwing a temper tantrum not one minute ago, found himself looking up into the blue eyes of one Caroline Forbes. Suddenly, all of the white noise of the moment fell away and it was just the two of them in the room together and the blonde in question was looking at him expectantly. 
It was paralysing. 
But good paralysing he decided. 
“Nik?” Rebekah questioned. Now they were both looking at him. Had he zoned out and not realised it?  Well, if so, this was all kinds of embarrassing. “Caroline is the senior blogger for Delicious and she’s here for that interview, you know the one we talked about earlier?”
Yeah, ten minutes earlier, he thought to himself doing everything he could not to bite back in front of the new arrival.   
“It’s nice to meet you Mr Mikaelson, I have to say I’m a big fan of your…”  
“Look, it’s not going to be possible, I have to prep for dinner service,” he lied, although regretted it immediately when he noticed her expression. Klaus wasn’t used to being nice, it wasn’t in his DNA and usually it didn’t bother him. 
Until now. 
Klaus decided to blame it on the foreign feelings she was causing. As soon as he got some distance between them it would be fine, especially that vanilla scent he couldn’t ignore given it was infiltrating his first line of defence.
Klaus liked women, in fact he slept with many when his busy schedule permitted, but that was sex and nothing else. Just the way he liked it, easy and unemotional. 
“Why don’t we multitask then? I’m happy to help. ” Her voice was light and melodic. Klaus was hoping it wasn’t going to sound so enticing. He also wasn’t expecting that response. “I worked in a restaurant kitchen for years, I can do dishes, polish cutlery and peel a mean potato and an onion, well almost without crying.”
Why was he buoyed by that ridiculous statement and increasingly trying not to flash her a goofy smile? 
Klaus didn’t smile. He just didn’t. Ever. 
This wasn’t how he saw his day going at all. He was going to kill Rebekah. Before he could reply, the current subject of his ire spoke. 
“That sounds like a fantastic idea,” she grinned. “How about Lorenzo and I make ourselves scarce then?” 
“It’s actually Enzo, darling, you sound a bit too much like my mother and my oppressive boss Care Bear here.” 
Klaus hadn’t even realised there was someone else in the room up until this point but it was clear Caroline wasn’t too impressed by his nickname or the oppressive part. Maybe they had more in common than he thought? 
Care Bear.  Klaus thought it was adorable. Then he could feel it, that idiotic urge to smile again. 
Before he could object again, Rebekah had made a quick exit with the photographer and she was just standing there. Klaus could feel the awkward tension between them and knowing he’d caused it wasn’t helping matters. But he didn’t know any other way to act. 
Then the words he’d struggled with just tumbled out. 
“How do you feel about fish?”
Not the most suave topic or question but this was his ‘uncomfort’ zone. 
“Depends on the context.”
“The context?”
“I mean, if you think I can clean, fillet and debone a fish, you’ve obviously overestimated my cooking talents.”
Klaus had to practically eat the smile that was threatening to appear.  Again. 
“Everyone has to start somewhere and get their hands a bit dirty, otherwise what’s the point?” He advised. “But, if you don’t want to then…”
“Oh, I never back away from a challenge, chef,” she promised. 
Again, the pesky smile was hovering just beneath the surface. 
Leading her towards the kitchen, Klaus told himself that preparing a fish was definitely going to keep his emotions at bay and also block out that perfume which was throwing him off balance. 
4:45pm
“Why do I feel like this was a ploy to distract me from my interview?” Caroline asked, dipping the fish into egg wash and then flour as instructed by her cooking mentor for the day.. 
This was not how she saw her day going. It was surreal to say the least. This guy was supposed to be an ogre but Caroline was realising he was something else entirely. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shot back. “But you filleted that fish like a professional, maybe you’ve missed your true calling?”
“I suppose I had a semi-good teacher,” she admitted wryly. 
“Wow, tell me what you really think, Forbes.”
Caroline was trying not to to get too caught up in the moment but Klaus Mikaelson had challenged every judgment she’d ever harboured about the temperamental chef.  He’d been unusually kind and patient.
The one thing she’d noticed was that his overall demeanour didn’t match his expression. 
He didn’t smile.
Not once. 
A few times, Caroline could swear it was close or maybe she was just imagining it?
“So, why do you like food?” It was a question she wasn’t expecting. Especially seeing as she was the interviewer and him her subject. 
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be asking you?” He was silent for a moment, almost like he was contemplating it. “But I get the impression you don’t like that question much?”
“I’d much prefer to hear your story first, call it a warm-up.” Clearly he was nervous and Caroline was happy to oblige if it helped. 
“My grandmother,” she smiled knowingly, visions of her nana filling her head. “When I was younger I’d go to her house most weekends and we’d cook together. She could make anything and everything. She died last year and it’s been tough without her but at least I still have those memories.”
Caroline didn’t mean to get personal, especially with the so-called “angry chef” but for some reason she felt nothing but comfort in his presence, even if he didn’t smile. 
“What was her specialty?” 
“Banana cream cheesecake,” she smiled, the taste of it rushing back in all its delicious glory. 
“Hard to beat,” he murmured. “Have you ever eaten a Bananas Foster? My restaurant in New Orleans does a modern version over flame.  According to my maitre’d there’ve apparently been a few proposals over dessert.”
“Over your dessert?”
“Someone sounds dubious. Let’s just say it’s fireworks but without the danger. Well, unless the tablecloth is accidentally set on fire but the fire department down there are pretty good first responders I understand.”
“I just didn’t take you for the romantic dessert type.”
“I suppose there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me then.”
“So, why do you like food then?”
“Well, of course I like food, I wouldn’t be a chef otherwise,” he shared, moving swiftly in behind her and taking the fillets from her hand and placing them in the hot pan, Caroline was trying not to react to his touch or that welcoming and heady mixture of sandalwood, spices and soap . “But one interview isn’t going to even begin to answer that question.” 
He had a point and Caroline knew it. How could you sum up what food meant to you in one interview?  
“So, what exactly are you trying to say? I do have a deadline to meet.”
“How about we schedule a follow-up interview tomorrow morning? Dinner service is imminent and if you stay I’m going to have to ask you to do more than fillet a fish. My pastry chef Lucien is also very needy, requires constant gratification, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that.”
“Not gonna lie I’m intrigued and by that I’m talking about Lucien. Did you insult his choux pastry or something?”
 “Not if I want my patrons to eat dessert this century. But, if you insist on staying, there’s a whole pile of onions there with your name on it and we can call it even.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” He raised his left eyebrow by way of response. Caroline was trying to ignore just how good he looked, even if there was no smile forthcoming. 
“Fine,” she conceded. “Tomorrow morning but that’s it otherwise my editor might fire me.”
“Great, let’s make it 10:30, you can poach an egg, right? And I also expect extra crispy bacon.”
Caroline knew she was possibly in trouble and not because he was tasking her with cooking. Enzo would also parrot that particular concern but she couldn’t help herself. 
Today was probably the best day she’d had in a long time and she didn’t want it to end. She told herself that she’d return tomorrow and get her interview, that’s all she wanted from him, right?
4 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 11am
Klaus Mikaelson was in uncharted territory. 
That’s what scared him the most. 
Caroline Forbes was seated across from him at his best, window table in jeans and a cream sweater, her plate empty and a very full but satisfied look on her face. Klaus decided to add that to his favourite expressions file. It was fast filling up and he’d only known her for 20 hours. 
He wasn’t this guy. 
At all. 
But she’d consumed his thoughts since their first meeting and all night through dinner service and beyond. He’d barely slept, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He’d been looking forward to seeing her as soon as she left. 
The only problem? Not smiling because it was that difficult when she was in his presence. He had his reasons of course. 
“So, why do you love food? And no arguments given I poached a mean egg and also let you have a reprieve yesterday.”
“The bacon could use some work, just saying.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome to cook itself yourself, Mikaelson. Are you always such a critic? Last time I checked that was my job. Also enough with the distractions. So?”
“My mum,” he admitted quietly, even if it took a minute or so to verbalise. For some reason her opening up about her grandmother had filled him with courage. He didn’t do feelings or talk about them for that matter. “She cooked with me practically from birth until she got too sick last year.” 
Those last words wobbled, it was unfortunate as it was expected. He’d struggled for a long time and losing his mother had been difficult.  
“What was her specialty?” Klaus recognised the question he’d asked himself yesterday, but the fact her hand squeezed his at the same time filled him with the confidence and warmth he needed. 
“Rosemary braised lamb shanks, it was her favourite protein. I’ve tried to pay homage on all my menus since.”
‘So, that explains the Saddle of Elysian Fields Farm Lamb with Babaganoush, Romano Beans and Harissa Jus on your menu then?”
“You’ve done your homework clearly?” 
“That and the fact it’s the first time I’ve seen you smile, and I have to say it’s really nice.” 
Klaus didn’t even realise he’d let it slip but suddenly it didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t want to hide it, not with her. 
“She used to tell me to smile all the time because I was too serious, you could say it’s something I’ve battled with ever since she passed.”
“All the more reason to smile, even just to introduce those dimples to the general public. Has anyone ever told you they should come with a warning?”
“No, but more than happy to discuss further.”
“If only, but I have to get going.” Klaus felt almost deflated that she was leaving as quickly as she’d arrived. Maybe he’d shared too much. “Deadlines and all that. But if you could just consult the email I sent confirming the details of our interview that would be great.”
Klaus felt disillusioned, he’d opened himself up to someone and she was running away.  She was out the door before he could even move from his seat. Checking his emails was the last thing he felt like doing, but his hand went to work on his cell checking it anyway and dreadfully waiting for its contents.
“As of three minutes ago, I no longer working for Delicious. It wanted a story I wasn’t prepared to write. I like your smile and dimples too much and I also want a Bananas Foster.”
His chest constricted as he read each word and his grin was unmistakable.  It didn’t take long for him to reply.
“You make my heart smile.”
Tabloids would report months later that famed food blogger Caroline Forbes married famed chef Klaus Mikaelson in rural England after proposing over a dessert of Bananas Foster in New Orleans. 
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ANNETTE (2021)
Starring Adam Driver, Marion Cotillard, Simon Helberg, Devyn McDowell, Angèle, Kiko Mizuhara, Natalie Mendoza, Rila Fukushima, Laura Jansen, Rebecca Dyson-Smith, Nastaya Carax, Wim Opbrouck, Nino Porzio, Kanji Furutachi, Anaïs Dahl, Rebecca Sjowall, Kait Tenison, Michele Rocco Smeets, Leos Carax, Ron Mael and Russell Mael.
Screenplay by Ron Mael and Russell Mael and Leos Carax.
Directed by Leos Carax.
Distributed by Amazon Studios. 139 minutes. Rated R.
In the recent, highly acclaimed documentary The Sparks Brothers, the leaders of the quirky cult rock group Sparks – Russell and Ron Mael – discussed their long-standing fascination with film and their goal of making films. However, despite several false starts over a span of decades – including an aborted musical based on the Japanese manga Mal The Psychic Girl which at different points had Tim Burton and Francis Ford Coppola attached – none of their film projects have come to fruition. In fact, their movie career pretty much had consisted of playing the role of the band in 1970s Sensurround thriller Rollercoaster and the above-mentioned documentary on their lives.
Until now. Annette is another long-gestating passion project for the Mael brothers. After all these years, one of their film ideas has finally gotten made. Unfortunately, what Annette mostly shows us is that maybe it’s not a bad thing that it has taken so long for a Mael movie to be produced.
Even as a band, Sparks has been relentlessly quirky and cerebral – probably to the detriment of the group’s popularity. It is the reason that they have a rabid cult following rather than a huge audience base. However, even on the surreal scale of such previous albums as Kimono My House and Angst in My Pants, their movie Annette is off-the-charts weird.
Annette is a very, very dark musical about a singing baby. On a guess, I’d say a good 75% of the dialogue in the film is sung. It is directed in a massively surrealistic style by French filmmaker Leos Carax (Holy Motors, The Lovers on the Bridge).
It stars some very legitimate talents. Adam Driver plays Henry McHenry, a performance artist and shock comic – though honestly, nothing he says on stage is particularly funny, so it’s mostly shocking for shock’s sake. He is in love with a beloved opera diva named Ann Defrasnoux (Marion Cotillard), who is lauded as having “the voice of an angel.” The two are blissfully in love and catnip for the paparazzi. They have a baby, and all seems perfect.
Cracks start to show as her career takes off while his career starts to sputter – mostly because he finally goes too far on stage, and the audience recognizes what an evil dick he is.
This early section almost feels like what would happen if A Star Is Born was reimagined by Charlie Kaufman.
Then when she dies under somewhat suspicious circumstances, Ann’s voice somehow goes to her baby, a final taunt to her widower.
And did I mention that baby Annette was played by a puppet? Of course I didn’t, but strange as it seems, that was the case. If fairness, in one scene towards the end, Baby Annette – to paraphrase her puppet brethren Pinocchio – becomes a real girl. (Or at least she is played by a real girl actress.) But otherwise, the audience is watching this puppet baby and wondering why no one on screen is surprised by how plastic she looks or how spastic her movements are.
Nonetheless, Henry decides to exploit his young baby and take her on an international tour as Annette, the singing baby. With his career in the toilet, all he can really do is ride the coattails of his supernaturally talented toddler. Annette becomes an international phenomenon, but at what price to the baby’s mental and physical well-being? At different points the baby is flown on stage by drones, lifted high in the air on a wire and left standing precariously at the edge of a giant floating stage.
The biggest surprise about Annette – particularly for someone like me who has always been something of a fan of the Mael brothers’ day job – is how unmemorable most of the music is. I can’t imagine anyone regularly listening to the soundtrack and no one song really stood out as even particularly tuneful. This is a big problem for a movie which is mostly wall-to-wall music.
It also doesn’t help that the characters are so unrealistic and unlikable. I mean, honestly, Henry is essentially the lead character in Annette, and never for a second does the audience feel anything for him but revulsion. I get that was the point of the story, but it is hard to warm up to a movie with a megalomaniac like him at the center.
On the plus side, the movie does look stunning – with the exception of the puppet baby. Carax has a playful and adventurous visual eye, and his stamp is all over Annette. Even when things are unrealistic looking – like a scene where Henry and Ann are on a yacht in the middle of a bad storm and it’s obvious that they are just standing on a platform with a film clip of a storm playing behind them – it is done for effect, and it somehow works. For a film mostly made in America, it truly feels like a foreign film.
At the movie screening I saw for Annette, one of the other critics there acknowledged that he appreciated the fact that the movie took a big swing, even if it missed. That take may be a little bit overly generous to Annette, but one thing is for sure, it most certainly is a miss.
Jay S. Jacobs
Copyright ©2021 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: August 5, 2021.
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