Tlh crack au pt.1
Not everything in the memes are in this part
Disclaimer: I got surgery last month and was high on anesthesia when I wrote this so this was literally written by someone who was high. There are a lot of sex(mentioned) and alcohol present, also there is a self harm mention but it's brief
If you have any questions about this fic I will try my best to answer it, I might not know though bc I have no idea what my high self's plan with this was
Thank you to my beta reader(sorry for putting you through this Skye-) and to Nad and Jaimie, I appreciated your reactions <333
All that said, please enjoy and don't take any of this seriously!!
A rap of knocks came from the dorm room door, Lucie groaned and pulled away from her parabatai, or she called it, her paraba-tie-me-up. “Go away asshole, we're busy.”
“Don’t wanna hear about my recent ‘appointment’ with Jesse?” The voice of the girl’s best friend, Matthew answered.
Cordelia got up and opened the door, “sorry babes, you know you can just walk in right?”
“We all know what happens when I don’t knock on y’all’s door at 2am.” He winked.
“And we all know you had a great time being cuddled by two hot girls while sipping auntie Tessa’s margarita recipe.”
“Fair point, Red.”
The tall girl crossed her arms over her chest. “As if I’m ever wrong, bottom bitch.”
The three of them burst out laughing as they went to sit on the pull out sofa. Lucie had put on Mama Mia while they were ‘arguing’, I mean, what better movie to watch as your best friend talks about his sex life.
“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” A semi deep voice said from the doorway, a slight Parisian accent still present after coming back from Paris a year prior. “Matthew’s getting dick and I’m still single? That’s racist.” Alastair rolled his eyes and held up his hand in a stop motion as he closed the door and set his things down on the table.
“What about that guy in your music theory class?” Lucie asked.
“Ugh I can’t date him.”
“Why not?” Matthew asked. “You said he’s tall, nice, and smart, what more does someone getting over a break up look for?”
“He’s related to Lucie.”
“Thomas!?” The three of them yelled.
Alasatir rolled his eyes, “no I mean James, of course I mean Thomas!”
“He’s been in love with you for like ever,” Matthew said, “and now you like him back!”
“Besides,” Cordelia took a sip of her drink, “you know what they say about tall guys.”
Lucie gagged over the side of the makeshift bed while Matthew nodded.
“It’s true, why do you think I only date guys over six feet.”
“Because you’re shallow.” Alastair deadpanned.
“Ow, true, but still ow.”
After finishing Mama Mia and Into the Woods, while making fun of James Cordan the whole time, the four fell asleep. The next day was hectic, without hangovers thanks to Alastair making them drink water before sleeping and right when they woke up, they glared at him the entire time while walking to Alastair and Cordelia’s mom’s coffee shop.
“You know you and James have patrol tonight with Jesse, right?” Thomas said as Matthew sat down at their usual table in the shop.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Matthew waved his hand dismissively. “I know Jamie will protect me if I get distracted.”
James looked up from his computer, his morning glasses falling down his nose just a bit. “Huh?”
“You should be a good husband and listen to me more.”
“We’re not married, Math, we’re parabatai.”
“Same thing bitch, just different shapes.” He took a huge sip of Christopher’s coffee, which literally is 5 shots of espresso and 7 teaspoons of sugar. “Oh Tommy, Alastair’s simping for you.”
Thomas stopped writing in his journal for a moment, “uh cool I guess?”
The boys stopped what they were doing, even Christopher, and stared at him, shocked.
“What the fuck did you just say Thomas-” The purple eyed scientist said.
“I just,” Thomas shrugged, “don’t really care..”
Matthew tilted his head and slightly poked his tongue into the inside of his cheek before yelling, “Genie!”
“What’s up kiddies?” The waitress asked when they showed up to their table.
“Tom just said he doesn’t care that Alastair likes him.” James said slowly, still processing the information.
Genie made a concerned face and reached over Matthew to put their hands on Thomas’ cheeks and forehead, “well you’re not sick.. maybe it’s psychological.. I’ll ask Barbs to stop by later.”
Thomas rolled his eyes, “guys come on, I’m just.. not into him anymore.”
“Tommy,” his sibling started slowly, “roll up your sleeves.”
“No if, ands, or buts Tommy, we saw this with Matty back in high school, I’m taking no chances.”
Thomas rolled up his sleeves, the only marks being old runes and a couple of surgical scars. “I’m fine. People get over crushes all the time.”
“You know they aren’t going to buy the fact that you just got over me.” Alastair said, burying his face into Thomas’ neck.
“Don’t care. More time I get you to myself, the better.”
“I’m not a possession.” He looked up at his boyfriend with a blank expression.
“You’re short enough to be a teddy bear.”
Alastair stepped back and cracked his knuckles and his neck. “You’re over six feet above the ground, call me a teddy bear again and I’ll have my mom put you six feet under.”
“You’re not going to do it yourself?”
“I’m a pacifist and scared of blood, mama Risa is not the same.” Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Layla and I are positive she killed my dad, no clue why but we’re pretty sure.”
“Isn’t your dad still alive though?”
“Layla’s dad is, my dad isn’t. But shhhhh because Elias doesn’t know.”
Thomas smiled dumbly at him before drawing him in for a kiss, “I love you.”
“Love you too, dumbass.” Alastair hugged him. “‘m tired.”
“You want a massage and then a nap?” Alastair nodded.
“Hey Matthew.” Jesse mumbled.
“I missed you.” Jesse kissed the back of his neck.
“Jesseee,” Matthew whined. “Stop being domestic or I’m gonna fall in love with you.”
“That’s the plan baby.” Matthew rolled his eyes playfully.
Kamala knocked on her ex’s door. “Hey Genie.”
“Hey babes, you and Anna get into another fight.” She nodded. “Come on in, Mena and I were just about to order some takeout.”
“Thanks, I don’t mean to be a burden.” Kamala said, walking into the apartment.
“You’re not. You two are engaged, you’re bound to be stressed.”
“We’ve been talking about kids.”
“Oh shit.” Filomena said.
“Yeah.” She bit the inside of her cheek. “I want to adopt out of the foster system and kid one of those kids the same chance I had. Anna doesn’t know if he wants kids.”
Genie bent over and kissed the top of Kamala’s hair, “she wants kids, Kamala, but she knows if you guys have a kid, then it’s serious.”
“I know. And I don’t care if they want kids right now or not it’s her decision as well as mine, but I want to know if this will cause problems later. I don’t want to get married only to get divorced over something dumb like this only a couple years later.” Kamala rubbed her eyes, “I’m actually really tired.”
“Go to sleep.” Filomena smiled at her friend. “Come get us if you need a cuddle!”
Tagging: @ninacarstairss @styxdrawings @lifewouldbebetteronmars @thechangeling @shadowhuntertrash @angelwiththeblue-box @kitandtyarelife @phoenix-and-dragon @the-blackdale @i-love-all-books @arangiajoan @pjo-tsc-trc-otherthingstoo @the-enchanted-dreamer @i-am-church-the-cat @fortheloveofthecarstairs @queenlilith43 @imherongraystairstrash @adoravel-fenomeno @cant-think-of-anything @thehotfaeriethreesome @herondalesunsetcurve @theshadowhunter @sandersgrey @niastormbolastairkanejsambucky @ghafa-dale @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @corvid-idiot @shadowrunner2000 @haleylightwood @icycoolslushie @noah-herondale-lightwood @thepictureofsdr @the-wckd-powers @littlx-songbxrd @tentotea @totalbookmaniac @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @eugeniaslongsword @buttcrflys-rose @bookswitchcraftandcats @khaleesiofalicante @mf-means-matthew-fairchild @agnesandmina @writeordie365 @claradoesntevenknow @hardlymatters @wagnerthedragon @revvs-trash pls let me know if you want to be taken off the tag list!!
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As Alastair Carstairs slid onto the rink once more, the olympic stadium was so quiet the only sound to be heard for miles was that of his skates cutting through the smooth ice.
While his fabulous attire caused a massive ripple the surprisingly heteronormative men’s figure skating community, his movements only caused a slight ripple in the fabric of his navy blue skirt. The silver diamonds flowing downward like manufactured tears silently clinked against each other. The color scene of his costume perfectly matched the streaks in his hair and the gold hoops and silver studs along his upper earlobe were just icing on the cake.
Thousands of Iranian flags surrounded him, all encompassing walls of green, white and red. It was Iran’s second year placing in this particular sport and the second year of Alastair’s career outside of the junior league. Only Charles Fairchild was idiotic enough to believe this was a coincidence.
Alastair stopped directly in front of the second place winner and spun around to face the crowd. He blew a kiss to his younger sister, Cordelia. The camera zoomed in on her as she jokingly swallowed it.
When the gold metal was draped over Alastair’s neckline, the audience’s cheers roared so loud people watching from the comfort of their homes were forced to refuse the volume by several bars in order to keep their hearing intact. The people witnessing it live lost that hope during Alastair’s free skate routine.
Barbara dropped her brother's hand and stuck both her fingers in her ears to block out the noise. While Eugenia hurriedly stood and lifted Tomás into the air in an act of celebration. (A feat that would become nearly impossible in just a few short months.)
Once returned to the ground, Tomás fixed his attention to the boy on the screen again. Beautiful.
Tomás had begun skating on recommendation from his physical therapist to ‘get active’. Not the smartest decision on her part, for he had injured, to some degree, every bone in his body from the leg down. But it kept him busy and his family loved going to his competitions an embarrassing amount.
Throughout the entirety of his career, Tomás had been mediocre at best. However watching the god in human form known as Alastair Carstairs skate lit a something in him he hadn’t even known was there. A desire to excel.
Tomás closed his eyes and imagined being able to do something as breathtaking as what he’d just witnessed.
One day, he promised himself, one day.
This is a short snippet from my contribution to Alastair Month, Born To Make History! If it isn’t already obvious from the title and general plot, its a Yuri on Ice!!! Thomastairs AU
Featuring: Tomás Lightwood of Spain, Alastair Carastairs of Iran, Matthew Fairchild of England, James Herondale of Wales, and Kamala Joshi of India (Plus Cordelia as Iran’s champion fencer)
@adoravel-fenomeno @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @lifewouldbebetteronmars @light-bane08 @thechangeling @thomas-thedavid-lightwood @the-blackdale @the-wckd-powers @hardlymatters @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @arangiajoan @noah-herondale-lightwood @foxglove-airmid @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @sandersgrey @maxboythedog @shelvesofgold @book-dragon-not-worm @hahahax30 very sorry if I forgot your name from the tag list. Lmk if you want to be added/removed from the tag list!!
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