#kanetou

[hakucho-art]

I wanted a fluffy Touken The Kiss version so I made one <3

#tg #ken kaneki #touka kirishima #touken #tokyo ghoul #haku's art #kanetou #that was fun #until the end #the end wasn’t fun but otherwise hell yeah #famous painting redraws rule

[moonspirit]

But I think this template also applies to Touken.

#can you tell I'm finding this extremely funny #touken #kanetou #meme #kaneki ken #touka kirishima #kaneki x touka #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re #tg #tg re #ken kaneki #kirishima touka

[haiseswidow]

Kaneki and touka are my roman empire, i think about them EVERYDAY and its been like 8 years 🥲

#touken #kanetou #touka kirishima #kaneki ken #tokyo ghoul #otp

[evanescentsun]

inspired by @hakucho-art ‘s vampire enemies to lovers au heheh, and her art. (I can’t get over touka’s design it’s so cool. @/harleyquilt is so big brained for the design FR. )

#tokyo ghoul #touken #kanetou #hehehehhe this was SO fun to draw #it’s so nice seeing the end result after the painstakingly long (loving) procress behind the scenes #it went through so much! it improved so much from the first drafts! im such a proud mom! #and I have… learned so many things from drawing this. #as to draw the whole thing and compose FIRST before heading rn in and being so impatient #because it’s gonna bite me back in the ass #as in: the reason help Kaneki is drawn in a v diff style #but I guess it also adds tho. #im so in with the touka fr. vamp teeth. blood. angy. what MORE can u have #I peaked there #I have lil context for the scene but cba to go into it JFJJFKFK #also yes I did Give Up on this drawing JFJFJFJJFJDJDN #but it IS complete in its own way<3333 #I love it so much ahhhhhh #YOU KNOW WHAT. after looking at this days after rn. it does not as bad as I thought #heh<3 🥰

[harleyquilt]

A Forgotten Birthday, An Unopened Gift (A Touken/Kanetou fanfic)

Summary: It's the day after Kaneki is freed from Aogiri and decided to leave Anteiku, leaving both him and Touka lamenting the distance between them.

Words: 2,269

Notes: You can blame @hakucho-art for this angst-fest, the original hc was her idea 😔

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The air is cold and still. Touka sits on Anteiku's balcony, tucked away behind the tall bodies of surrounding buildings. It's dark now, the sun having long set, and the moon's light dulled by the overcast night sky. Touka shivers, hugging her body. The painful ache on her back permeates her entire body, stinging with each slow breath. It's healing, the inflamed skin gradually knitting itself back together, but the cold leaves her body tense, only adding to the pain. She should be going back inside, her numb fingers rubbing over the goosebumps on her arms. Yet she remains, searching for the moon beyond the dense barrier of clouds above.

To her side is a rectangular package, wrapped in a patterned paper bag and sealed with a sticker of a cartoon-ish rabbit. Picking it up, she tightens her hold around what was meant to be a gift, the bag crinkling under her fingers. It's a book of poems Yoriko helped pick out at the bookstore a week or so ago, recently released and highly acclaimed. Thinking about it now, Touka wonders if he already has a copy, knowing he visits the bookstore often. Well, that was before tonight. After seeing the state he was in at the Aogiri base, she finds it hard to imagine him casually browsing for books, as if nothing has changed. Cringing, Touka tosses the gift aside and wraps her arms around her knees, lowering her head.

She can still see his back facing her, his dark shirt tattered, his hair an unusual white, and his skin uncomfortably pale. It was an almost haunting sight, a complete change from the soft, weak boy she has come to know the past two months. He had walked away from his life at Anteiku and rejected her offer to stand by his side. And her heart, brimming with a mix of relief and gratitude moments before, ruptured from his sudden betrayal. Like a splash of cold water, a hard slap against her skin. She shakes her head at the memory, her fingers digging into her thighs. He never stopped her, watching her silently as she walked away from that cold hill-top. Leaving him, she suddenly felt incredibly hollow, as if he had punctured her heart and drained all that kept her warm before.

“Idiot.” She mutters, unwanted tears filling her eyes. “Idiot, idiot, idiot!” She kicks the ground, scaring away nearby pigeons.

She grips her necklace, the chain cold against her palm. Holding her parents’ last keepsake, she squeezes her eyes shut. She can almost see them, smiling at her, beckoning her, their voices dulled from the passing of time. Still, she relishes the warmth they bring her, welcoming her with much-needed affection. She can even see Ayato – young and soft, carrying with him an innocence that has yet to be trampled. An innocence she used to know. But they're not really here, not anymore, and opening her eyes, hot tears fall down her reddened cheeks, the metal biting into her skin.

“Why am I always…” Her words are broken with a soft whimper and she angrily wipes away her tears, sniffing. She doesn't finish her words, unable to bring herself to say her thoughts aloud, even while knowing it to be the truth.

And as always, she is left alone to dwell on the numbing loneliness enshrouding her, forever questioning what she should have done differently.

. . .

“This is one of my family's safehouses.” Tsukiyama explains, gesturing towards a modern-looking building. “This one is free for us to use for however long we–”

Before Tsukiyama can finish, however, Kaneki walks ahead and into the building, his ragged clothes hanging off his slender body. He looks around the doorway before examining his dirty feet. They're scarred and covered in a mix of dirt and dried blood. With a sigh, he steps into the house, and Banjou, his friends, and Tsukiyama follow from behind.

Tsukiyama, of course, makes no complaint, but even if he had, Kaneki lacks the patience to comply with any more demands. Not after tonight. Thankfully, the others choose not to comment while he walks around the house, checking the different rooms and silently making note of how he will utilise these spaces.

“What do you think?” Tsukiyama asks, smiling, once Kaneki returns to the living room. The others are sitting on the sofas, checking each other's wounds. “Is it all to your liking?”

“Yes.” Kaneki answers, slumping down onto a spare seat. His body suddenly feels much heavier, the exhaustion taking hold. “This is fine. Except…”

“Except…?” Tsukiyama leans forward, his hands clasped together, and eager to do whatever Kaneki may ask.

“There's no room for you.” Kaneki says, his voice cool and steady. He brushes a hand through his hair as Tsukiyama stands frozen, wondering if he somehow misheard Kaneki. Kaneki looks back at him, his expression unreadable. “You need to find somewhere else to sleep.”

“O-Oh…” Tsukiyama clears his throat, straightening. “But this hideout has so many spare rooms. Surely there's one I can–”

“No. There isn't.” Kaneki reiterates. He pulls himself back onto his feet and heads towards Banjou, seemingly ending the discussion.

Placing a hand on Banjou's shoulder, he offers a small, wry smile. “I need to sleep now, but you and the others are free to do what needs to be done. Make sure you heal your wounds and rest, okay?” He asks this, glancing at the others, who all nod back in appreciation.

“You too, Kaneki-kun.” Banjou returns the gesture with a heavy hand on Kaneki's shoulder. “We're all here for you.” He glances at Tsukiyama, now standing behind Kaneki and visibly shaken by what has transpired the past few minutes. Shaken, but not deterred. “And we'll be here once you wake up.”

Kaneki smiles, truly grateful to hear Banjou say those words. “Thank you, Banjou. Really.”

Once he makes sure Tsukiyama has left the building, much to Tsukiyama's dismay, he enters one of the smaller bedrooms on the second floor, shutting and leaning back against the door. It's only then that he can feel his legs tremble, and sliding onto the ground, he buries his face into his rough hands. With a stifled sob, his jaw clenched, he grips his now white hair, pulling his strands between his fingers.

So much has transpired the past week, the past day even, that it is difficult for Kaneki to completely comprehend. The memories rush through his mind like a rampant flood, crashing through his consciousness with feelings of hate, fear, regret, and a deep, dark grief that he can feel himself sinking further into with every passing moment.

And beyond the murky depths consuming him, he can see her face, looking at him with those wide, dark eyes. There's a softness there, beyond its hardened exterior, like a light beyond the dark abyss. He wants nothing more than to reach for it, to hold it gently within his hands, but he holds back, resisting the urge. Sensing his hesitation, her expression falters, the relief twisting into confusion, before finally settling on a bitter disappointment. At the time, she said nothing as she turned away from him, yet he could still hear the spite in her footsteps, the feeling of betrayal in her silence. The sound echoes through his mind now, shaking the foundations of his fortitude.

But it had to be done, he knows, and with a shaky breath, he lowers his hands and leans his head back, tears falling from his half-lidded eyes. If there is one thing he is certain about after all the turmoil of the past week, it was that Touka would be safer in Anteiku and away from him. Him and his ugly hands. Looking at them, his eyes drift over the ringed scars around the base of each finger, and then his darkened nails, black with congealed blood. Beyond the hundreds of layers of skin, though, was the blood of those he tormented not long before, their screams still ringing through his head. He can still smell their stench all over him. They deserved their pain, Kaneki thought, clicking his index finger. The sound elicits a stream of numbers that rattle around the inside of his ear. It still pulsates painfully with the scratching of centipede legs.

1000. 206. Minus 7. 204. Minus what what wha–

He slaps his hands over his ears, biting hard into his lip. He can taste blood as the sound fades into static, his body tense. Letting out a shaking sigh, he lowers his hands, sucking away the blood from his bottom lip.

Despite his desire to trample those with unrestrained power, this is not a life he wants Touka to see, to feel, or to share. Not anymore, at least. He will spare her from that life, free her from that shadow that continues to haunt her. Even at the cost of her friendship, of her presence in his life. The idea alone makes his stomach twist into a tight knot, but he has suffered worse pains – if it's for her sake, he will take on whatever pain is demanded from him.

He can see the scowl on her face as the thought passes through his tattered mind, and a smile tugs on his lips, her anger weirdly comforting. Familiar, even.

“Damn it.” He breathes, rubbing his face. “I want to see her again.”

. . .

Holding a cotton swab soaked in alcohol, Irimi dabs the wounds on Touka's back. Touka flinches with each contact, hissing through clenched teeth. Irimi places a hand on Touka's shoulder, holding her in place.

“Ow.” Touka murmurs, hunching her shoulders. The wounds continue to pulsate and tingle when Irimi finally pulls her hand back, discarding the blood-stained swab. “How much longer will this take?”

“Hmm,” Irimi leans forward, delicately placing her hands against Touka's back and examining the injury. “The cuts are deeper than I thought. You might need stitching.”

Touka shudders. “Forget it! Just give me some food and I'll be fine.”

Irimi is quiet for a moment, preparing the gauze. “I'm worried that your kakuhou has been damaged.” Pressing the gauze against the wound, she notices Touka's body stiffen. “It may be a while before you can use your kagune again. Even then, it may take longer for them to return to their original state.”

“Oh…” Touka is not sure what else to say, her hands clenched into fists on top of her thighs. Her hair falls forward, hiding her face. She can feel the colour drain from her cheeks.

“Yes, well,” Irimi sighs and finishes bandaging Touka's injury. With a warm, damp cloth, she wipes away the blood dripping down Touka’s back. “This shouldn't be too surprising, considering everything that's happened.” She leans back, gathering her supplies. “You just need time to rest and recover.”

“Right.”

Touka can't bring herself to say the words circling her mind, to voice the realisation that she would have been nothing but a burden to Kaneki, even if he had accepted her offer to join him. It's ridiculous, she thinks, resentment thickening into a hard lump in her throat; she had always been the one leading the charge before, using her strength to fight against those that threatened her and her loved ones. And now she's been reduced to nothing more than a burden, a mere hindrance to the very people she sought to protect.

Ayato's words lash against her, biting into her as hard as he had during their fight – she has grown weak, complacent, soft from the years she's spent playing human. And now, as punishment, her wings have been clipped, keeping her pinned to the ground where she belongs. Regret shrouds over her as she stands from her seat, mumbling a small thank you to Irimi. Her peer watches her, concerned.

“Listen, Touka-chan.” Irimi stands alongside Touka. “You're young, with so many opportunities ahead of you. You were brought to Anteiku so that you could explore those opportunities. It's a chance not many of us ghouls have growing up, you know that as well as I do. You don't need to prove yourself fighting battles that can't be won.”

Touka turns away, her arms wrapped around her waist. “Sure,” her frown deepens. “I just feel so…” Her words trail off into a defeated silence.

“It'll pass, you'll see.” Irimi pats her head and with that, leaves the room, leaving Touka alone with the words offered to her.

It gives Touka little comfort, unable to break free from the misery encompassing her. This day has left her defeated and to see any silver lining past all that has transpired would only add to her bitterness.

Still, she refuses to collapse where she stands and instead, she heads towards her bedroom, lifting her head. It is not resolve driving her forward, or the optimism that things will get better. It is simply what Touka has always done, what she will continue doing, so long as her heart is beating and her legs can carry her; she'll carry on, hoping, desperately, that Kaneki will at least keep his promise visit the cafe soon. He said he would, after all. Maybe then she can convince him to return. Yes, there's always that chance, as pathetic as it makes her feel, clinging hopelessly onto his words like this. Searching beyond that, though, Touka finds some comfort by reminding herself of Hinami and Yoriko, along with all the others at the cafe. It had to be enough, at least for now. If not…she isn't sure how much longer she can tread on this tightrope she has made for herself.

#tokyo ghoul #my writing #touken #kanetou #fanfic #kaneki x touka #angst #kaneki ken #touka kirishima

[arcy-lethra]

Touken en paint

#lo que uno hace cuando está aburrida y sin internet #en paint #touken #touken brainrot #kanetou #tengo una queja: por qué kaneki me salió bien con el trackpad y no en papel?? con mi lápiz?? cuando tengo mejor movilidad?? #Me siento bien al haber dibujado a kaneki #Porque kaneki no me sale #Sé que su cabello es simple #Pero es una tortura porque parece cualquier otro en vez de kaneki 😂 #Mi dibujo

[diamonddropscans]

Doujinshi release! Daiya no ace - KaneTou

Our first release for the Diamond Drop anniversary - some quality time spent in Kanemaru's room that happens to have a kotatsu! To read A day curled up at the kotatsu, click here! :)

Artist: Flicker (Pichoco)

Please buy the Japanese book to support the artist!

#daiya no ace #doujinshi #kanetou

[theselfstudyenthusiast]

My heart is filled with Yumalia Happiness

The last time I've been this happy for a ship was when Ishida Sui published the 125th chapter of Tokyo Ghoul :re.

I've been shipping Yumalia since Season 2. To me, it was obvious the writers would eventually pair up Yugo and Amalia, given all the little hints from S1 onwards. Now, I don't agree with everything the writers did with these characters and their romance, especially the senseless drama. However, simply seeing these two little beans finally happy really touched my heart.

I'm still randomly laughing and smiling and crying tears of joy! I swear it feels like TG:re all over again and I'm here for it!

Actual footage of me since Episode 13 dropped :

#yumalia #wakfu season 4 spoilers #Kanetou #my patience has been rewarded #I'm blessed #I've lots of emotions rn #the brainrot is real #yumalia brainrot #mentions of Tokyo Ghoul #mentions of Kanetou Touken

[toukenweek]

2 Days left until the start!!

You can find the prompts here and the artist who drew this here!

#touken #kanetou #tg #tokyo ghoul #toukenweek #toukenweek2022 #kirishima touka #kaneki ken

[phoenixlionme]

My Favorite Fictional Couples Part 45

NOTE: Be respectful of my choices; the OTPs are not ranked, just of who I thought when making this list.

1. Hair Love/Young Love franchise: Stephen Young + Angela Love = Stephgela

NOTE: They are with daughter, Zuri. Tried to find a pic with just them but this was the closest I could get.

2. Hair Love/Young Love franchise: B.J. + Zuri Young-Love = Bjuri

NOTE: Like the above couple, I tried to find a pic of them together but couldn't. The closest I came was this clip from the company that owns the series. And it was a video.

3. Invincible: Nolan Grayson aka Omni Man + Debbie Grayson = Nolandebbie

4. Tokyo Ghoul: Ken Kaneki + Touka Kirishima = Kanetou

5. Bonhchon Bride: Bongchun + Soongap = Bongap

6. Disney's Wish: Queen Amaya + King Magnifico = Amagnifico

NOTE: This is OFFICIAL ART, not fanart. And my liking of the ship ONLY applies to the CONCEPT ART version of the couple NOT the final version of them that was played in the movies. I greatly prefer the former version and wished it was finalized. In this original cut, the couple were a villainous power couple.

7. Disney's Wish: Star + Asha = Starsha

NOTE: This is OFFICIAL ART, not fanart. And my liking of the ship ONLY applies to the CONCEPT ART version of the couple, NOT the final versions of them in played in the movies, where there not even a couple. In the original cut, Star was a shapeshifting love interest to Asha.

8. South Park franchise: Yentl Cartman + Eric Cartman = Yentlman

9. DC Comics: John Stewart aka Green Lantern + Mari Jiwe McCabe = Greenvixen

10. Dreamworks' Madagascar franchise: King Julien + Sonya = Julonya

#multimedia #my posts #myotps #lists #fic ships appreciation #stephgela #bjuri #nolandebbie #kanetou #bongap #amagnifico #yentlman #greenvixen #julonya #otp #fav #mine #starsha #otplist

[hakucho-art]

The Kaneki family <3

#MY BABIES #personally I prefer kaneki taking on the kirishima name but we can’t have everything #also my headcanons about the boy #and how Touken might look ehhh #at their beginning thirties I suppose #I just want them to look different #especially kaneki #imagine having the same haircut your whole life #ANYWAY I LOVE THEMMMMM #tg #ken kaneki #touka kirishima #Ichika kaneki #….how to tag the boy #second touken child #touken #tokyo ghoul #haku's art #kanetou #yeah #that’s it

[moonspirit]

Kaneki to Touka: will you still love me if I were a worm? *Proceeds to turn into a kretshure*

.... I don't know I haven't read TG

Meme-y ***spoilers*** if you haven't read TG I guess.

Actually anon, yes that's exactly how it went.

Also yes you should read TG because Touken are basically AruAni Prologue. Don't you want a nice, intelligent, shy boy committing mass murder falling head over heels for a "monstrous" girl who's known little love and warmth her entire life? Yes? Yes you like? YES?

#anon ask #touken #tokyo ghoul re #meme #kaneki ken #touka kirishima #tg re #tokyo ghoul #tg #kanetou #ken kaneki #kirishima touka #kaneki x touka

[haiseswidow]

꧁༒☬𝓘 𝓭𝓲𝓭𝓷'𝓽 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝔀𝓮'𝓭 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓼𝓸 𝓯𝓪𝓻, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲𝓽'𝓼 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽☬༒꧂

#touken #kanetou #kaneki ken #touka kirishima #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re #kaneki x touka

[foretnoires]

touken drabble | the last promise kept in my heart [TG week: Day 4]

warning: lowercase

note: celebrities!au (to have a better understanding of the story’s context, please read this), english is not my first language, i’m trying my best, enjoy 🤗

p/s: for day 4 of @weektg the theme was alternative universe and i can’t believe i came up with something like this after watching several kpop contents recently 👾 welp this time i didn’t let the characters have a happy ending but rather an opening (?) or a sad (?) ending because i wanted to try something new but i created a mess instead 💀 so basically i wrote this drabble based on what was written in the link in the note (which were facts also), because i’m bad at explaining things 🐒

❝ please live well as you promised me, touka. ❞

touka pulled the curtains, the morning light shining directly into her eyes, she quickly pulled back, cursing out of anger.

“damn it.”

stepping out of bed, touka walked slowly to the bathroom to clean herself, and then began her tiring day in the apartment alone. touka usually changed her clothes and went to kaneki’s apartment and asked him to eat out every morning. but not today. she got into a dating rumor with shuu tsukiyama, aish, she couldn’t understand why the paparazzis had to make up those bullshit rumors.

she opened her phone, scrolled through a few articles about her, somehow she liked reading those so much, even though what they said about her weren’t true. ayato once told her that when being too tired of rumors like this, absolutely don't read anything, and now she was reading them again and again, literally.

touka turned on the tv to see what was going on, switched from channels to channels, nothing, boringly tossed the remote over the sofa, she went to the kitchen to boil some eggs to avoid hunger.

her old cell phone vibrated on the wooden table, touka looked boredly at the screen. well, it's the manager.

“yes, manager?”

"touka? what's with that article?"

“i don’t know.”

"get dressed and go to the agency, the director needs to see you."

touka sighed, her face was devoid of any emotion. she stepped heavily on the floor, put on a simple outfit, a black hat and a mask.

she was right. the paparazzis surrounded the agency like a swarm of flies. hundreds of camera lens pointed straight towards her, the lights kept flashing. touka quickly entered the building, disappeared.

they got angry and quietly left.

"touka! what is this?" the director took the newspaper with touka and shuu’s dating news on the front page and slammed it on the table, shouting loudly at her.

"i don't know anything, tsukiyama and i never talked to each other!" touka hid her bored expression, receiving a glance from the manager, a glance that was not very friendly.

“you should remember, touka. even though your dating ban will soon be lifted, it will still affect you a lot!" the president rubbed his temples, wearily sat down on the chair, turning his back to touka.

"i'm just saying, the dating news is fake! there is no convincing evidence for me, i’ll take my leave."

touka coldly stood up and went out slamming the door.

she's really tired, wishing she had someone beside her to comfort her, how good it was. it could warm her long frozen heart.

walking slowly down the corporate corridor, step by step, she felt depressed again. she had known kaneki for 2 years, no one knew about this, except her younger brother. both of them rarely went out on dates, just sometimes seeing each other briefly backstage.

“touka.”

she stopped and turned her back. it's kaneki.

“kaneki.” he walked to her, then gently hugged her.

"it’s tiring right? i don't believe that rumor, because you and i are dating." kaneki said while stroking touka's hair, making her suddenly feel strangely warm. her heart that was frozen for a long time was now warmed.

"you can hug me at my house, if the manager sees us here, we’ll be dead for sure." touka pinched kaneki's cheeks.

the two of them quickly went to the parking lot, then drove back to touka’s apartment. she got out of the car first to see if there were any cameras. she should have brought ayato along from the start.

the two went inside, touka let out a long sigh, lying down on the sofa in the living room. ever since he met touka, her apartment seemed to be the place that kaneki hung out most often.

so was touka, always hung out at kaneki’s apartment.

“do you want to eat something? i’ll cook.”

“yeah. you know i still haven’t had my breakfast.”

touka was lying in the living room, smiling at kaneki. kaneki couldn’t help but smiling as well, thank god for giving him and her a chance to meet, so the two of them could go as far as they were now.

he wished everything would stay as it was now, so calm and peaceful.

⁂

kaneki stayed at touka’s house until night, then he had to go home because his manager was also going to check on him. sending kaneki to the door, he kissed touka on the forehead, then waved goodbye to her. she smiled and waved back.

what will be, will be. 

⁂

NEWS: ACTRESS TOUKA KIRISHIMA WITH SINGER KEN KANEKI GOT EXPOSED FOR ACTING INTIMATELY AT THE ACTRESS’S APARTMENT.

NEWS: THE DATING RUMOR BETWEEN ACTRESS TOUKA KIRISHIMA AND SINGER SHUU TSUKIYAMA IS NOT ENDED, YET THE ACTRESS IS NOW RUMORED TO HAVE TWO-TIMED WITH SINGER KEN KANEKI.

⁂

"touka, touka, wake up!" ayato ran from the living room into touka's bedroom, constantly calling her to wake up.

she opened her eyes and looked at ayato.

“what’s going on?”

“the things between you and kaneki are now exposed.”

touka jumped up from the bed, eyes widening at ayato. she panicked and went to the bathroom to change her clothes quickly because she would be called along with kaneki sooner or later.

“be careful. do you want me to come with you?” ayato standing at the door nervously.

"just stay at home. i’ll go with the manager."

touka quickly left the house, slammed the door, and got into her manager's car. he looked scary.

"touka, get in the car." the manager frowned.

she quietly got into the car, next to her, there was another person, it was kaneki.

"kaneki, touka. why are you hiding from us?" the manager asked while driving the car.

“well...” touka hesitated.

“touka, let me do this...” kaneki took a deep breath. “we've known each other for 2 years, only ayato knows this."

"two years? which means when both of you started your career?" loud was the manager.

she closed her eyes, this was exhausting.

⁂

"how long have you two known each other?" the director once again called touka, this time with kaneki also.

“2 years...” both said in unison.

"so you've known each other since both of your dating ban hasn't ended yet?"

“yes...”

“ugh... my head...” the director complained. "all secretaries and managers, contact the journalists, confirm the news... and you two, i’m not finished yet, especially you, touka.” the director glared at touka and turned his face away.

"let's go home, let's see how everyone reacts."

“goodbye sir.”

the two bowed and walked out of the room together. kaneki saw touka looking very tired and asked her.

“touka, are you okay?”

“i’m fine.”

⁂

“you’re back. how was everything?” ayato stood at the door and contemplatively asked.

“looks fine. but the president seems to be very angry when he found that kaneki and i dated when the dating ban hasn't ended. i'm afraid the president will ask me to break up.." she said, sighing and entering the room.

NEWS: AGENCIES CONFIRMED ACTRESS TOUKA KIRISHIMA WITH SINGER KEN KANEKI’S DATING RUMORS. THEY’RE HAVING A GOOD AND STABLE RELATIONSHIP.

comment #1: are you kidding me? just quit acting already. she dared having a relationship with my kaneki while dating shuu tsukiyama at the same time?

comment #2: such a bad person!

comment #3: cancel her!

comment #4: i found them a perfect match, wish them all the happiness!

⁂

touka sighed, tossed the phone away, tiredly closed her eyes. she knew that this was bound to happen, and it would never be peaceful.

“manager? is there anything?”

“the president requests you and kaneki to see each other.”

“what’s going on?”

“okay, bye.”

“wait...”

she turned off the phone, confusedly staring at the tiny screen of her phone. seeing kaneki? what for.

“ah, kaneki?”

“what, touka?”

“can i see you?”

“see... see me?”

“yeah, my manager said so. you can come to my house.”

from a distance, he saw a familiar figure standing at the door. touka gently walked over and hugged kaneki from behind.

“hey...”

“can i hug you for a while?”

kaneki said nothing, let touka wrap her arms around him. kaneki already knew that touka would meet him, mentally prepared.

kaneki removed touka's hands, then he turned around, looking her straight in the eyes.

“touka.”

“yes...?”

“can we... stop doing this? i know this is going to be difficult for you. but things have come to this, i'm afraid, you will be affected.”

touka held kaneki's hands.

"why? why do we have to be celebrities? otherwise now you and i-"

kaneki didn't let touka finish, he kissed her, a kiss instead of words of comfort, the last kiss ending a beautiful love story of the couple.

"touka kirishima, listen to me. in the future, live well. become a famous actress, i will be very proud of you. promise me, don't suffer because of me."

"yes, i promise." touka's eyes shed tears as she looked at kaneki. “kaneki, i love you.”

"yeah, i love you too."

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re #tokyo ghoul root a #tokyo ghoul au #tokyo ghoul fanfiction #tokyo ghoul headcanon #touka kirishima #touken #ken kaneki #haise sasaki #tousaki #kanetou #sui ishida #tgweek23

[harleyquilt]

Reconciliation (Touken/Kanetou fanfic) [Part 1/2]

Summary: Instead of fighting Arima Kishou, Kaneki decides to escape with Touka, Hinami, and Yomo. But can he really live on, content with the person he has become after all that has happened? With Touka by his side, as well as their friends, maybe he can live on with some semblance of happiness.

Words: 8,619~

Notes: This fic is dedicated to the wonderfully talented and kind @hakucho-art!!!!!!! It took longer than expected but it's finally here! I'll try to add a second part some time soon! It was fun writing this au ^_^. This fic has scenes of violence and PTSD.

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Kaneki collapsed onto his knees, the strength leaving his body. His skin was cold and clammy, his breathing erratic, and he looked up with wide, quivering eyes.

A sharp point pierces his left eye, seamlessly cutting through his flesh and into his brain. He screams, incoherently crying out with immense pain as he feels the loud grating of metal move against his flesh and bone. His body spasms and his kagune erupts from his back in the form of disjointed appendages. They reach forward, desperately grasping the weapon being pushed into his eye, and with an animalistic cry, he pulls the weapon out, his warm blood spilling out from the wound and down his face. He continues to scream, clawing at his face as it continues to burn with endless agony.

Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stopMakeitstopMake it–

He gasped and his eyes shot open. Rolling over on his bed, Kaneki dry heaves a few times, his body trembling. He grasped his throat first and then his face, realising that the wound was nothing more than a figment of his nightmarish imagination.

Wiping away the drool from his lip, he turns back onto his back and stares blankly at the ceiling. He continues to breathe heavily, his chest quickly rising and falling while he takes a moment to recollect his thoughts. He was not locked in any kind of battle, but in a spare room in Yomo's safe house.

He brushes his hair back from his damp forehead and shuts his eyes, taking a slow, deep breath. His body stills and everything is quiet again. There's nothing to be afraid of. There is no wound.

He never did fight Arima in the end, and yet, the fear he had consumed him when he saw the reaper's imposing figure in that large, underground space continues to cling onto him, piercing through his dreamless sleeps with threats of never ending suffering. Worse than the pain, though, was the reminder that he was, in the end, a coward. A coward for running away, for turning his back, and wanting to live. What had urged him to do such a thing, especially after all the sacrifices of his friends and companions. He wasn't sure, even now. All he knew was that he had eventually collapsed in the underground tunnel and was found by Yomo soon afterwards. Had it been up to Kaneki, he would've insisted that he'd be left to die at the hands of the CCG, to be hunted down by the grim reaper and cut down for his cowardly existence. It would've been right, it would've been perfect.

But Kaneki was not going to complain to the man who saved his life at the risk of his own. He was not so selfish to do such a thing to his saviour. Still, it left him feeling hollow most days, mindlessly questioning the reason as to why he was still alive. He could still taste the blood in his mouth - sickeningly delicious and…human. Yomo wasn't the only reason he had survived that day, Kaneki knew. It pained him all the more, but he could not bring himself to think about what had happened. He was afraid that it would be enough to shatter him entirely.

"Coward." Kaneki muttered, twisting the bedsheets around his clenched fists.

There was a knock on the door and Kaneki flinched, Yomo entering the room. "Oh, you're awake?"

Yomo looked as cool and calm as he always did. It seemed nothing could stirr his stoic exterior. That said, Kaneki knew better than to assume that Yomo was not also hurting from Anteiku's fall. It had been his safe haven, just as it had been to all the others who resided there. It used to be his too. He had hoped that it could've been again, had fate not been so cruel as to snatch it away from his empty palms. If only he could have protected it in the end. If only he had not been-

"I'll be going to check on Kirishima and Fuiguchi. Will you be joining me?" Yomo asks and Kaneki's grip relaxes. He looks up, a small light in his grey eyes.

"Would that be alright?" He asks with some hesitation.

Yomo shrugs. "Sure, I don't see why not. They've both wanted to see you the last few days." Yomo pauses for a moment, wavering in the doorway. "How's your stomach?"

Kaneki looks down, his stomach wrapped with bandages. There's been no bleeding from what he could tell, though it has felt bruised since his battle with Amon. And with how 'starved' he's been, as Yomo puts it, his healing has been slow on the uptake. The wound was not as severe as it had been, at the very least.

"It's fine." Kaneki says, pulling aside the covers. "I would also like to see them."

"I'll make some coffee and then we can leave." Yomo nods, closing the door.

Kaneki nods back, lowering his eyes. Would it honestly be alright for him to see them again? To see her?

. . .

Hinami rushed around the living room, carrying wrinkled clothes with one arm and a duster in her other hand. Her cheeks were warm with a mix of excitement and nervousness, her heart fluttering with the thought of seeing Kaneki again. It has been a little over a week since she and Touka left the destroyed remains of Anteiku; Yomo initially took them to a bunker before moving them to a spare apartment he owned, and during this time, he apparently found Kaneki and had him stay in the bunker instead. Yomo has only visited them once since then and he shared minimal information concerning Kaneki’s condition. All the two of them knew was that he was still alive somehow.

Touka had been the one to ask about the others from Anteiku. At the time, it seemed like Yomo was going to leave without sharing any kind of news, perhaps in fear of upsetting them more than they already were. But in the end, he relented and told them that he was not sure of Irimi or Koma’s condition or location. He had heard rumours that Kaneki had saved the two of them in the midst of battle, though he could not be sure until he asked Kaneki himself. As for Yoshimura, he kept silent, signifying his ultimate defeat at the hands of the CCG. Hearing this, Touka lashed out and punched the wall, leaving behind a large crack, before storming back into her room. Hinami remained still, eyes wide and wet with tears, yet none fell in the end. She was simply speechless, dumbfounded even. It was probably something she should have expected, especially after the cafe was destroyed, but it was still a shock to have it confirmed. Touka has remained mellow since, lamenting her survival, and Hinami struggled with her own feelings of guilt for her continued inability to help the ones she loves.

However, hearing the news that Kaneki was not only well, but would be visiting them soon brought with it a burst of energy that she hasn’t felt in what feels like a long time. Touka has yet to find out, since she has been taking a shower since Yomo’s phone call, but Hinami was almost certain that Touka will also be thrilled with this sudden visit. After all, Kaneki and Touka were better together - she has always thought so in the past and she hoped it will remain true today.

Touka entered the room dressed in a shirt and some shorts and a towel around her neck. Drying her hair, she looked around curiously.

"What's all this?" Touka asked and Hinami beamed with a bright smile.

"Yomo will be coming over with Kaneki." She continued to hurry around the room, fixing anything that was out of place. Touka's eyes widened for a moment and before she could ask anything else, the doorbell rang. "They're here!"

Hinami rushed to the door, quickly hiding away the items in her hands, and Touka stiffened, clenching the towel between her hands. The door opened and she jolted back towards her room in a panic, hearing Hinami cheerfully greet the two guests.

"It's good to see you again, Hinami-chan." Kaneki smiled and patted her head, ruffling her hair. She blushed and her eyes filled with tears. She hugged him, tightly holding onto him, and with some surprise, he hugged her back. "I'm sorry I worried you."

Yomo moved past. "Where's Kirishima?" He asked and Hinami quickly moved back, suddenly embarrassed.

"W-Well…" She moved towards Yomo and looked around the room. "I'm not sure. She was here a moment ago."

"Hold on!" Touka called from her room. Kaneki joined the others in the living room, his eyes wandering across the room.

"I-I tried my best to clean it up before you two arrived." Hinami confessed, fiddling with the rim of her shirt.

"It looks good." Kaneki assured her, and Yomo nodded along in agreement. Hinami nodded back and looked down, her cheeks warm.

"I'll make some coffee!" She then exclaimed and hurried to the kitchen.

"I'll help." Yomo followed behind and Kaneki awkwardly placed himself down onto the couch.

Touka's door opened then and with some hesitation, moved towards the living room, where her eyes locked onto Kaneki's. His hair was still a snowy white, his skin pale, and dark shadows around his grey eyes. His eyes, though, looked back at her with a warmness she hasn't seen for months now. It was a warmness she remembered from their days before his torture. He stood with a slight bow and she noticed that he had grown an inch or two, or perhaps his figure was more impressive than it had been before; his shoulders were broader, his torso slimmer, but defined under his dark shirt. He was both the Kaneki she once knew and a completely new person she has yet to know.

"Hi," Kaneki says with a low voice, a mix of shyness and shame in his almost pained expression. "It's been a while."

"Well," Touka rubbed the back of her neck, looking away. "Not much time has passed since we last saw each other."

Both thought of the day the two reunited on the bridge, where Touka had confronted him for his avoidance. She had lost control of her temper and lashed out against him, leaving him beaten and bruised. When she returned home that day, she was consumed with overwhelming embarrassment, certain that she had only succeeded in pushing him away further. And knowing that he had joined the battle against the CCG's assault on the 20th Ward, she feared that she had pushed him into his grave. She couldn't bear the thought that she had spent their last moments together berating him. After everything she has lost, she should've known better than to act out like some kind of child.

But now, Kaneki has returned - he was standing right in front of her, alive and well. It's almost as if she has been granted a second chance to redeem herself, to say all the things she had failed to confess before. Still, she felt weirdly conflicted. As grateful as she was, it stung to see him after all of this time. He remained a shadow of his former self, and though that was not something she could blame him for, it was not something she wanted to accept. But there was nothing either of them could do to repair the torment he had to suffer through in the past. They could only move on with the present. With that in mind, she ultimately decided that, perhaps, it would help the both of them if she first apologised for her actions.

Just as she was about to squeeze out a small apology, Kaneki spoke first. "I'm sorry." He said with a quiet voice. "I'm really sorry, Touka-chan."

Touka shook her head. "No, I'm–"

Hinami and Yomo walked in then, with Yomo carrying a tray of coffee. The room filled with a familiar fragrance, a bittersweet aroma that reminded them all of days that were now long past. Hinami skipped to Touka's side and clung to her arm, shaking it with excitement. Her joy was infectious and Touka couldn't help but smile in return. Taking the mug Yomo passed to her, she took a sip of the delicious coffee, swallowing down the words she wanted to tell Kaneki.

The four of them sat together for a while, inquiring Yomo for news of what was currently happening across Tokyo now that the battle against Anteiku has died down. The city has always been quick to move on from these intense conflicts, with the media pushing out superficial reassurances that all was now safe and stable. The world of ghouls has never known peace, and this moment, like many others, was just another wave that pushed them further back into the shadowed crevices of society. It was something they have come to expect growing up as societal outcasts, and yet, it was painful being oppressed so violently by those that deemed them as nothing more than monstrous pests.

With this thought, Touka thought of Ayato and the cruel words he had thrown against her. The way he had punished her for foolishly believing, once again, that she could live alongside the humans that despised their existence. She struggled against him, but now, she was weighed down with the thought that he had been right, that perhaps the only way to live freely in this world was to fight against it.

At the time, Kaneki had hurt Ayato for his violent aggression against her. She vaguely remembered her brother's agonised, garbled cries as Kaneki spoke in a quiet, apathetic voice. He had saved her that day, but he had also abandoned her, betraying her just as her brother had done. She glanced up at Kaneki, then, clenching the mug between her hands.

Catching her eye, he held her gaze before she abruptly looked away, her cheeks warm. He had apologised to her first, though she never expected an apology from the guy she had punched. Multiple times. Across the face. She shouldn’t be too surprised, she thought, considering how soft he had always been in the past. Still, so much time has passed since then and after distancing himself from her for almost a year, she wasn't exactly sure what to expect from him. Regardless, she should've been the one to apologise first - that much she was sure of.

"The question is," Yomo's voice breaks through her thoughts. "What's next?"

They were all silent in response to his question, the air heavy with anxious uncertainty. Yomo leaned back into his seat, a slight crease on his brow as he considered his next words.

"I am not sure how safe we are here." He explained. They were currently located in the third ward, though the whole of Tokyo has been in a continuous, suspended state as the heat from battle gradually faded back down to a simmer. Both ghouls and humans alike were waiting tensely on the sidelines, licking their wounds and watching the other in anticipation of their next move. "That said," Yomo crossed his arms, his frown deepening. "I wonder if it would be best to move to the underground–"

"Absolutely not." Touka immediately protested, cutting through his words with an aggressive sharpness. "I thought I made it clear before that I will not allow you to force Hinami through that. We'll figure something out, just…" Her voice trailed off with a wince. "Just anything but the underground ward. It's worse than death down there."

Hinami watched Touka silently, concerned yet curious. She would not argue against Touka, though she wondered if her weakness was hindering the safety of the others. Of course, if she were to ask, they'd all adamantly insist that this wasn't the case, or at the very least, that her fragility was not something they deemed a hindrance. Those hypothetical words, words she has heard many times before, rattled her in her mind and a bitter resentment began to swirl in the pit of her stomach.

It was then that she considered Takatsuki Sen's offer; Hinami had kept the business card that the author had given to her, and after their last conversation, Hinami wondered if confiding in her once again would provide her some kind of answer. In the end, she was the only one that told Hinami what she always knew to be true - that she was weak, and that this weakness was poisoning her loved ones. If she could somehow counter that inadequacy of hers, Touka, Kaneki, and Yomo wouldn't have to endanger themselves for her sake. Just as her parents had done.

"What are the current movements of the CCG?" Kaneki asked and Yomo thought for a moment.

"Even though they ultimately won the battle in the 20th Ward, they need time to recover. Patrols are being covered by lower-ranked officers and there's a greater push for public surveillance. It is nothing out of the ordinary, however."

"Have they released any new or updated profiles on us?" Touka asked.

Yomo shook his head. "I don't think so. Not yet, at least. They're still compiling the reports on the recent battle. It'll still be a few weeks until they return to their usual investigations. In the meantime, I can't say for sure what information they have on us."

"Needless to say, it would be best if we kept our heads low." Kaneki adds, leaning forward. "Relocate, stay out of the public. We can keep our ears to the ground and if we find that it's too risky for us to stick around, we'll consider more…" He glanced at Touka. Her eyes narrowed with clear displeasure. "Extreme alternatives."

Touka tutted and turned her head away, bringing her coffee up to hide her face. She bit her lip and let the conversation fizzle away into a complacent silence. Her eyes drifted to the nearby window, the curtains drawn, but a slither of sunlight slipping through the gap in between the thick drapes. It was midday, the city was no doubt busy with activity and human life. Had this been like any other day, she would be attending school right now, preparing herself for college entrance exams. But now, she and Hinami were once again trapped indoors, confined by a life of endless struggle and despair.

How long would she have to wait this time before going outside again? Would she ever return to school? Probably not, Touka already knew. She wouldn't see Yuriko or try the cooked lunches that left a loving ache in her stomach, or enter the warm embrace of the cafe she called her home, where she'd see the welcoming smiles of her caring peers. All these memories were nothing more than figments of a life that has once again been stolen away from her. How was any of this fair? No, it wasn't fair, but it was a life she has always known. And still, with each new tragedy, she found herself crumbling under the pressure of it all, from the weight of memories that she'll never relive in the living world.

"I'm not feeling too well." Touka announced, placing down her coffee and standing from her seat. "I'm going to my room. Let me know if you need anything else."

Kaneki watched her, his heart twisting at the sound of her evident misery. Her eyes remained downcast, almost lifeless, and he was tempted to reach out towards her. But he didn't and instead, watched her as she walked to her room, shutting the door behind her. He bit his lip, looking down. Hinami shuffled in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the stiff silence between the three of them.

"She'll be fine." Yomo insisted, standing from his own seat. "She's strong. Always has been." He then looked at Kaneki. "I should be going now. We need to secure some food for these two. Will you be joining me?"

Kaneki hesitated for a moment, clasping his hands together. He finally replies with a nod. "I'll help in whatever way I can."

And with that, the two leave after saying their farewells to Hinami. Afterwards, Hianmi takes all the half empty mugs to the kitchen and wonders what she should do next.

. . .

The drive through the city was quiet. Kaneki wasn't sure where exactly they were going, though he guessed that since the raid, Yomo had found a new location to gather 'food'. Truth be told, Kaneki was still not fond of the idea of collecting human corpses for consumption, but he refused to do nothing whilst his friends suffered from his continued incompetence. It reassured him that, at the very least, he wouldn't be the one to eat the human flesh. That was what he kept assuring himself, but his stomach grumbled at the passing thought. Yomo gave him a sideway glance.

"I've heard," Yomo begins, surprising Kaneki. "That you've been consuming meat that isn't human." He pauses, but Kaneki doesn't respond. "Considering the poor state you were in when we met in Kanou's lab, I suppose those rumours weren't baseless."

It wasn't a question, so Kaneki did not answer. His stomach grumbled again, a protest Kaneki wanted to violently suppress. It was almost mocking in its timing. Yomo glanced at him a second time.

"Yoshimura is not here anymore. There's no more 'sugar' to placate your hunger." Yomo warned, his grip tightening around the wheel. "And if you have any intentions of consuming ghoul flesh, I'll be forced to cut ties with you and keep you away from the two girls, understood?" His sudden bluntness gave Kaneki goosebumps along his arm. "It's for their own safety. You are free to do as you wish, but I won't allow that kind of danger into their lives. They've been through enough."

"I know." Kaneki licked his dry lips, his fingers loosely laced together. The tall skyscrapers of Tokyo fell away to a pastoral scenery - a stretch of greenery beyond the road barrier that gave way to rocky climbs and cliffs. The setting sun peeked out from behind the skyline of pine trees, bright sun rays beaming through the cracks between the tall, wooden bodies in the distance. The pressure of the city seemed to slip away the further they drove, despite knowing that the chain that kept them there was rattling loudly behind him, promising them their eventual return to the hellscape they call home.

"I know," Kaneki repeated with a sigh. "I don't want to do anything that will compromise the safety of you, Touka-chan, or Hinami-chan. I'll…manage, somehow."

The words hung in the air for a moment, along with an uncertainty they both detected. "It gets easier over time." Yomo added, his voice low. "You learn to accept it, like with all things in life."

The journey continued in silence after those words. Kaneki wasn't sure how he should've responded, considering everything that has happened. Easier? No, it never gets easier, you just force yourself to tolerate the pain. Even then, the pain continues to bury itself deep inside you, twisting and turning with each and every day as a reminder of the wrongs you have committed. And maybe that was for the best - to be punished with that guilt, day by day.

But that was hardly a solution and it certainly did not ease the pains of those he loved. So in the end, what did it matter, whether it was easy or not? As long as his companions were safe, he could push through the pain of any wounds or injuries. Yes, that was all that mattered, he thought. With a small crack, Kaneki pressed his thumb down onto his knuckle.

There is no reason why we have to be protected by you.

Kaneki's eyes widened and then narrowed, lowering as Touka's voice drifted through his mind.

You want nothing more than self-satisfaction.

With each reminder, Kaneki winced and he leaned his head against the cool glass of the car window. The sun was sinking away and the sky began to darken as the night approached.

Trash like you should stay out of Anteiku!

Kaneki lightly touched his cheek, remembering the strong blow of Touka's fist against his jaw. It would've knocked out any regular human, a punch like that. Fuelled with bitter spite and anguish. He had apologised to Touka earlier, but seeing her leave the way she did, he wondered what more he could do to ease the pain in her heart. He was sure that she had more to worry about than their relationship, but even so, he wanted her to know that she could rely on him. Not because he deemed himself as reliable, but because she saw him as such and trusted him enough to confide in him. Perhaps this, too, was a selfish desire that he was now projecting onto her, it was hard to say. Regardless, he would not abandon her. He refused to abandon her. Not again, not like last time. This was something he had to make up for.

The car slowed to a stop and Yomo announced their arrival. Much like the last collection point, they were parked on the side of a lone highway that was curved around a steep mountainside. Another, empty car was parked in front of them, clearly abandoned. The two left the car and waited for any other cars to pass on. Following Yomo, Kaneki leapt down from the cliff's edge, landing on the soft ground with a heavy thud.

In the past, he had panicked and dramatically tumbled to the ground. It was embarrassing, thinking back to it now. Yomo must've had the same thought, examining Kaneki with an unreadable expression before moving to the nearby corpse of a human. Kaneki bit his cheek and tried to swallow his nerves, following alongside Yomo as he placed down the duffel bag.

Yomo first removed the clothes, placing them into a separate bag. The nude corpse was remarkably pale, the skin almost a transparent white. It looked like paper, the skeleton pressing against it. Despite its gaunt appearance, it still seemed relatively 'fresh'.

"If it helps at all." Yomo said, his voice loud against the quiet of the forest. He lifted the limp arm, gripping its forearm. "See it as no different than a ghoul's corpse." With a strong tug, the arm ripped off, the skin tearing and the thick blood dripping down onto the dry leaves beneath them.

"I suppose." Kaneki murmured. But they weren't a ghoul. It was not as if he relished the sight of a corpse, regardless of whether it was a human or ghoul. Seeing human flesh, however, was a reminder that he was no longer the person he used to be, and a constant sign that he was drifting further away from that person.

In a sense, he has already lost who that person was - what once was can never be again, it was something he was reminded of again and again. Still, it was a barrier he didn't want to cross, even if it was also apparent that he had little control over the matter. Not back then and not now. He was at the whims of fate, being flung from one battle to another until he became one of the many corpses that littered the roads of Tokyo. When that moment inevitably happens, maybe someone else will feed on his corpse, just as he has done with the bodies of others. Strangers left to be consumed, a forgotten bloodstain that would soon be washed away - no different from an unmarked grave.

"Could you remove the other arm?" Yomo asked, interrupting his thoughts. Kaneki swallowed, his mouth dry, and he nodded, reaching forward.

The skin was cold, almost like ice to the touch, and stiff and heavy when held. Mimicking Yomo, he tugged the arm and with one swift movement, the flesh tore away and the tendons snapped. The aroma was…embarrassingly pleasant, like aged wine. He quickly placed the arm into the bag and then removed the upper arm, trying hard not to look at the human's face. His mouth began to water and nausea began to rise up his throat. He swallowed again, trying hard to push down the bile.

Yomo, focusing on the legs, continues to instruct Kaneki on what to do. "Twist the neck and pull, make sure to detach the spine connecting the head to the body."

Kaneki nods and reaches forward, keeping his eyes low as he grabs the head. An image flashes in his mind as his fingers touch the body's ice-cold throat. Yamori's voice rings in his ears, demanding that he make a choice, and the sight of mother and child emerges, their throats being pressed between the large arms of their captor. Their voices are weak, their breaths raspy, and their eyes fill with tears as they look at Kaneki, begging him to spare the life of the other.

His widened eyes then look to the face of the corpse, its dead eyes seemingly staring back, empty and glassy, but all the while accusatory as they silently scrutinise Kaneki. He grips his own throat, the acidic bile rising, and he stumbles back, kicking the ground beneath him as he tries to move away from the body.

With a hard blink, the body then takes the form of Hide, the bottom of his face and throat hollowed with the bite marks of a starving beast. Hide's face limply turns to him, calling for him with his pleading eyes, empty and glassy. He grunts, futilely attempting to speak, the blood spilling excessively from his wounds. Kaneki shakes his head, tasting the blood on his lips. It coats his mouth, dripping down his throat, staining his hands. It's everywhere - a reminder of what he had done, what he had chosen to do.

"No!" Kaneki screams, gripping his head. "No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Ken!" Yomo grabbed his shoulders, his voice anchoring Kaneki back down to reality. The body returned to its original appearance, its neck severed. He could no longer hear the other voices. "What's wrong?" Yomo examined him, his steely eyes giving away to concern. "What happened?"

"I was– I–" Kaneki breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He blinked a few times, suddenly dizzy. "I'm sorry." He leaned back, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm sorry, I–"

"Forget about it." Yomo pulled him up onto his feet, holding him steady by his arm. "Go back to the car. I'll handle the rest."

"B-But…"

"Leave it. Just keep an eye out. I can do the rest."

With his last order, Kaneki nodded weakly and headed back to the car. A sense of defeat washed over him, along with an immense exhaustion that suddenly left his body feeling heavy and sluggish. He had wanted to be useful, but instead…

His stomach growled with a pang of hunger.

. . .

Touka fiddled with her parents' ring, the metal cool against her fingers. Silently, she read the names of her parents again and again. Arata. Hikari. Memories of her childhood trickle into her mind, remembering the warmth of her parents' hands as they walked alongside her. Their faces were…distant, vague, as if a fog was cast over them. She could remember her dad's face more clearly, especially the gentleness it carried, but her mum…she strained to remember specific details. She held the ring tightly in her hand, whispering their names, as if she were evoking her parents to appear before her. But no one would come, she knew. They were gone. Even Ayato was nowhere to be found. How long would they have to be separated before she began to forget his face?

Taking a deep breath, she tucked the ring back into her shirt. Even with her nervousness, she found the strength to get back onto her feet. Nihilism never suited her, even when it was nipping at her heels, taunting her to give in and give up. No, she wouldn't accept that. Not after everything she has been through. She had to look out for Hinami now, and she still had Yomo looking out for her. There was also Kaneki…she wanted to talk to him again. She wouldn't waste her chance next time.

Leaving the room, she noticed Hinami had fallen asleep on the sofa, her stomach sticking out. Touka smirked and pulled down her shirt, grabbing a nearby blanket and draping it over the small girl. Hinami looked comfortably peaceful when asleep, a sight Touka wished she saw more often when she was awake. No matter, Touka thought, brushing back Hinami's ruffled bangs.

There was a small knock at the door and opening it, Touka greeted Yomo, standing aside to let him inside. Shaking his head, he instead offered the duffel bag used to gather meat, along with a few dark containers for her to store the food in. Thanking Yomo, she briefly looked past his shoulder in hope that Kaneki was beside him. Seeing that he wasn't there, she tried her best not to look too disappointed. Despite her efforts, she seemed to have given something away, considering Yomo's next remark.

"I dropped off Kaneki earlier." Yomo explained, Touka nodding with some embarassment. Yomo frowned, seemingly hesitant with his next few words. "He tried to help me with the gathering, but he was deeply disturbed with the body."

Touka was silent for a moment. "Hasn't he always been like that? He freaked out the first time you took him, right?"

"He's changed a lot since then." Touka bit her lip, remembering how eerily calm he had been after seamlessly rescuing her from Ayato. "He was doing well for the first few minutes, but then…" His voice trailed off and he rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't have the wisdom or the kindness of Yoshimura and the others."

Touka nods slowly, but with the following silence, she stiffens, a brow raised. "What? You want me to talk to him?" She scoffed.

"You were once close." He retorted.

"Yeah, once." Touka muttered, crossing her arms. "But that was a while ago." She tutted, frowning and shaking her head. "I mean, what would I even say? I'm not exactly the most comforting person to be around."

"Well, it's up to you, I won't force you." He offers the slightest of smiles and turns to walk away, Touka wavering in the doorway. "I'll be back–"

"Wait!" She called, Yomo pausing and looking over his shoulder. "Hinami needs some clothes for the summer - could you take her shopping tomorrow, let her choose whatever she wants? I'll…go to the safe house and check on Kaneki." Her heart flutters and she presses her lips together. Yomo responds only with a nod and a confirmation of the time he'll arrive tomorrow. She quickly turns and then shuts the door behind her, leaning against it and heaving a big sigh. Shutting her eyes, she feels her heartbeat against her chest.

"He's never been this talkative before." She mutters, brushing her bangs back. "I guess it's not so bad…"

. . .

Kaneki laid in his bed, the covers pulled over his head so that he was in complete darkness. He hadn't slept much since yesterday evening, his mind rattled with too many anxious thoughts for him to rest comfortably. Yomo had offered him a coffee this morning - his own way of checking in on him, Kaneki supposed, or maybe he was going to pretend nothing had happened to save them the awkwardness of it all. Either way, Kaneki gently turned down his offer, giving the excuse that his head was hurting and that he just needed to rest some more. Yomo chose not to refute him and left soon afterwards. Kaneki was relieved and spent the rest of the morning in bed. He probably could've confided in Yomo, he thought, but he has always found solitude preferable during these moments.

No, that wasn't true. The truth was that with solitude came a creeping sense of isolation, a fear that he was truly alone with no one around to save him from loneliness he was being subjected to. When he was younger, Hide had reached out and drawn him away from this darkness, pulling him into a comforting lightness he hasn't known since.

Everything was different as a ghoul; the darkness he feared came with it the threat of death. He had been lucky enough to befriend those that would save him when necessary, though he knew that they, too, were skirting the line between life and death for his sake. He couldn't allow it, not if he could help it. And so he was forced to face this darkness alone, bringing with it a new fear that he'll endanger anyone else that tries to reach out to save him.

Knowing this, he cringed and twisted the sheets around him, gritting his teeth. If he truly understood this, why does he repeat the same mistakes? It was a thought that continued to cut through his mind, a voice in his ears whispering the accusatory "coward" with the familiar chittering of a squirming insect. An equation he didn't want to answer. He pressed his palms against his ears, shaking his head. He couldn't change the past, he wanted to say, but it continued to haunt him in the present. Like shackles on his wrists, like a noose around his neck, he couldn't escape. Not unless–

"Kaneki?" There was a knock on the door, along with Touka's familiar voice. He flinched and sat up, all intrusive thoughts ceasing their incessant noise. "Are you in?" She knocked again and he struggled to find the words to respond, as if he were in a dazed state. He hadn't been expecting her. "God dammit, will you just…"

She kicked the door open, causing Kaneki to jump in surprise and a little bit of fear. He couldn't recall if the door had actually been locked, but either way, it was a surprise to see such an aggressive response. Then again, it was a reaction he should've expected from Touka. She stepped in and gave him a judging look.

"It's noon, you know." Touka remarked, crossing her arms. "You look like shit."

Flustered, Kaneki rose from his bed and brushed through his messy hair with his fingers. He was suddenly conscious of how he looked - his wrinkled shirt and shorts, his pale complexion, his tired eyes. He felt almost exposed with Touka’s intrusion, though he would be lying if he said that it was entirely unwelcome. With her presence, his mind settled into a much-needed quietness, pushing aside all the horrible thoughts that kept him in a state of constant restlessness. Even so, he was still taken aback by her sudden visit.

“W-What are you doing here? Is Yomo here?” He asked, clearing his throat. Touka's lips parted, as if she were about to say something, but she sighed and shook her head. “What is it?”

“Nothing, I just…” Touka squinted, her eyes meeting his. "It's fine." She shook her head again. “Anyway, Yomo is with Hinami. I asked him to get some clothes for her.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Yeah.” She fiddled with her fringe, brushing it over her eye. Feeling something akin to defeat, Kaneki pushed the conversation forward.

“Is there something you need?” Kaneki meant nothing offensive with his question, but it was enough to make Touka twist her lips and frown.

“Is there a reason I can’t visit a friend?” She asked, evidently unimpressed.

“N-No.” Kaneki turned his face away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Wait, are we friends?”

“Do you want me to kill you?!” She asked with an immediate aggressiveness. Kaneki shook his head quickly, stuttering out an explanation. Touka let out a frustrated sigh and turned back towards the door. “Come on. I’ll make you some coffee.”

Confused, but uneager to incite her fury any further, Kaneki followed behind her to the small kitchen outside of his bedroom. Silently, she boiled some water and crushed the fresh beans that Yomo had stored away. Her movements flowed with a satisfying smoothness that Kaneki enjoyed watching, though with it came a pang of painful nostalgia that crept in the back of his mind. With Touka, however, it was easier to ignore the memories that intruded his mind. A light piercing through the darkness

“Are you familiar with this hideout?” Kaneki asked, continuing to watch Touka while she prepared two cups of coffee.

“Sure.” Touka answered. She poured the hot water over the crushed beans, slowly moving the kettle in a circle, just as they had both been taught. “I stayed here with Hinami for a few days before Yomo found you.”

“I see…” Touka placed a cup in front of him and sat opposite, the aroma of freshly made coffee drifting through the room. “I suppose that it was…probably good that he found me.”

“Probably?” Touka raised a brow. Kaneki pressed his lips together, gnawing on the inside of his bottom lip.

“I’ve caused a lot of trouble.” His voice was quiet, yet unhesitant. Touka winced, cupping her hands around her coffee. “Sometimes, I wonder if it would have been better if I had been left behind to die.”

He wasn’t sure what prompted him to admit these feelings to Touka - it wasn’t as if she had pushed him to confess his doubts. But seeing her here, sitting across from him and watching him with her beautiful, dark eyes, he felt compelled to share these thoughts with her. It was perplexing. Perhaps, after all that has happened, he was aware of how precious their time was together. He had already apologised to her, though there was a part of him that was unsatisfied, that wanted to assure her that his words were truly sincere. Maybe that was why these barriers that always kept her and others at a distance were finally being toppled, even if it was just for a brief moment. That was what he wanted to believe, in any case.

After letting his words hang in the air, sinking into her skin and sending goosebumps down her spine, Touka took a few sips of her coffee and placed the mug aside. “I…” She hesitated and looked away, her shoulders hunched. “I’ve also felt that way before.”

Kaneki was now looking at her directly, not entirely surprised, but still startled by her own confession. Unable to respond, Kaneki frowned and looked down into his coffee, seeing a dark, warped reflection staring back. Touka peered back, noticing his pained expression.

“I have always wanted to protect you.” Kaneki admitted, feeling the almost burning warmth of his coffee mug seeping into his hands. “I wanted to keep you away, in hopes that maybe then, you would be safe. Pursue an education, live a normal life.” He sighed. “Be happy.” He took a drink of the coffee, the delicious taste almost bittersweet against his tongue. “But I wasn’t able to do anything. In the end, I wasn’t able to protect you all. I'm always making things worse–”

“Don’t give me that.” Touka scowled, slamming her fist down against the table and startling him. “I’ve told you before that we don’t need you to protect us. We’ve been living this life longer than you ever have. We don’t need you to ‘save us’.” Kaneki’s eyes met hers once again, the kind warmth he saw before now replaced with a cold glare of contempt. “Can’t you see,” she bowed her head, her fist trembling. “You’re the one that needs to be kept safe. These past few months - all you’ve done is run into danger, again and again, and for what?” Lifting her head again, Kaneki’s eyes widened, watching tears roll down Touka’s flushed cheeks. “I don’t want you to die, shitty-neki. Why can’t you understand that? And you– You abandoned me anyway. You ran off to die, thinking that I'd be okay with it. I can't stand it.” Sniffing, her voice became a murmur. “Forget it, this was a mistake.”

Pushing her chair back, the legs scraping against the ground, she abruptly stood from her seat and rushed towards the door. Before she could leave, however, Kaneki grabbed her wrist, holding her back. Her skin was warm against his cold palm.

“Let go! I shouldn’t have–”

He tugged her back, grabbing her by the shoulders and she looked up to him, her eyes glazed with tears and wide with anxious worry. He gazes back down with calm, grey eyes, his pupils dilated. Looking into her eyes, he was constrained with conflicting thoughts, unsure what it was he should do. He wanted to comfort her, but how could he when he was the one causing her so much grief? Was it right for him to keep her here, to hold her back after her pained confession? Would it be wrong to let her go? What was the right thing to do? He wasn't certain, but what he did know was that he wanted to prove to her somehow that he would not leave her side again, if that was truly what she wanted.

They were both breathing heavily, their hearts loud in their ears. He moves his hands from her shoulders to her cheeks, his thumb brushing away the tears from her eyes. If only it were that easy to ease her pain, he thinks. Her eyes flutter shut, and it almost feels like she could fall apart in his hold - a tenderness she hasn’t known in so long.

“I’m sorry.” Kaneki whispers, kissing her forehead. “I’m sorry.” He then kisses her eyelids, his lips brushing lightly against her skin. “I’m sorry.” He moves his lips down to hers, their breaths intermingling. “I’m–”

Grabbing his shirt, Touka pulls him against her, their lips pressed together. Her mind goes blank for a moment, with nothing but the sound of her racing heart and the feeling of his lips against hers encapsulating her thoughts.There’s a sudden impulse for her to pull back, but Kaneki moves his hands to her waist, keeping her in place as he moves his lips against hers. With a small moan, he parts her lips with his tongue and she responds in kind, opening her lips for him and feeling his tongue move over hers. His hands squeezed her waist, twisting against the fabric of her shirt before pulling her body against his, making Touka gasp in response. His body was firm with toned muscles, his strong arms wrapping around her, as if locking her to his side. And all the while, her mind goes hazy at the sensation of their breathless kisses, her cheeks warm with the sensual intensity of it all.

But then he pulls back with a gasp, as if woken from a dream. He moved his hands back to her shoulders, his grip firm, and he bowed his head, his cheeks smeared with a red blush. With a slight shake of his head, he takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't–" He tried to explain, stammering over his words. He looked up, with an almost pleading look in his eyes. "It wasn't my intention to–"

"It's fine." Touka mumbled, hiding her face with the back of her hand. She refused to look at him directly, her eyes darting between him and their surroundings. "It was…" She squeezed her eyes shut, her voice no more than a squeak. "I need to go."

Before Kaneki could stop her again, she darts through the door. Kaneki, left with nothing but the coffee she made for him moments before, tilts his head back, shutting his eyes and thinking through the moment they had just shared together. Her skin had been so soft, her lips tender against his, her movements shy and hesitant. It was so different from Touka's usual mannerisms, revealing to him a vulnerability he had hardly seen before. And there's a part of him that wanted to see that side of her again, to dig deeper and see what else there was to discover.

A little ashamed and embarrassed by these desires, he sat back down and rested his head against the table. He shouldn't be thinking of Touka this way. Before today, he wasn't even sure if Touka was willing to be friends with him after all they've been through. And within the span of a few minutes, the intimacy between them surpassed anything he could've ever anticipated. Even now, as he tried to think past the kiss they shared, his thoughts kept returning to the feel of her body - petite, but soft, his hands fitting nicely against the smooth curve of her hip. Her chest against him. He groaned, pressing his palms against his thighs. Was he allowed to have these thoughts, to think of Touka this way? He moved his hand to the waistband of his shorts, agonised by this inner conflict. He couldn't deny it, though. He wanted to feel her, to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to undress her, to caress her.

He wanted more.

. . .

Touka sat on her bed, hugging her knees. She still felt warm after her visit to see Kaneki. She leaned her head against her knees, grimacing. It hadn't been her intention to dump her feelings on him, much less kiss him. But he had reciprocated, right? Had he wanted to kiss her in the first place? Surely he must've, she thought with some worry. She tried to reason with herself, but each time she thought back to that moment, she wanted to cry out with embarrassment and bury herself deep into the ground.

In the end, had she really conveyed what it was she wanted to tell him? After their fight on the bridge, she had decided that she would apologise and be more mature in her response. Instead, her anger escalated once again and she started crying. Was she ever going to learn from her mistakes? She wanted someone to yell at her, to punish her for her immaturity. The last thing she had anticipated was an intense kiss with her…

She shook her head, agonising over the thought of it all. It would be a lie if she said she hated it - it was just unexpected. What was Kaneki thinking now, she wondered with an anxious uncertainty. It was all so confusing and it was impossible for her to know how to proceed from this point forward. If he had hated it, she continued to ponder, then he'd probably keep his distance. Even if he had, just maybe, possibly, enjoyed it, he would likely keep some kind of distance anyway. If he had enjoyed it, Touka thought while covering her face, would that make the situation any better?

Touka shook her head again, rolling onto her stomach and burying her face into her pillow. This was hardly the time to worry about something so…childish. Still, it weighed against her mind and the memory of the moment continued to intrude into her thoughts, as if it were a punishing reminder of what had happened. It was distracting, the thought of his body as she pressed her hands against his chest, the slight moan that escaped his lips…it was all too distracting!

She just hoped that she could calm herself down by the time Hinami returned from her trip with Yomo. The last thing she needed was others questioning their…confusing relationship, to put it simply.

In any case, that was the last time she was going to visit Kaneki alone, she decided. Touka knew, however, that this was not a promise she could keep.

#touken #kanetou #my writing #fanfic #kaneki x touka #ken kaneki #touka kirishima #hinami fueguchi #renji yomo #angst #au #tokyo ghoul

[arcy-lethra]

Out of Context Wip

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Tagging: ummmm, anyone who wants to join, I feel embarrassed to tag anyone.touke

#I think I've done it terribly wrong #but whatever. #you can assume that everything is touken #touken #kanetou #kaneki ken #touka kirishima #wip poll #en inglés para ver si llega más lejos ✌️ #touken brainrot