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sxfik · 2 years

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he’s earth and heaven to you (you can’t conceal it)

read on ao3 • main masterlist • law school masterlist

summary: Kang Sol A, just wants a one normal year. Just one year without some kind of explosion, or murder, or world ending event. Unfortunately, disaster has struck in the form of a 5' 11" insufferable, quidditch player and genius Han Joon Hwi and their friends who thought it was great idea to lock the two in a cupboard.

word count: 11.5k words

a/n: user niki is back at it with another au fluff/light angst fic because the solhwi brainrot never ends. this is the project i've been working on since finals and all throughout this time, but honestly planned so so long ago (like august 2021). i quite literally just started writing and then i blinked and it became like 11k so i hope yall enjoy this!! dedicated to my loves aki, anne, mika and jul because i literally planned this fic AGES ago with them and then never fucking wrote it because im a moron. (ilyyyy)

— end of sixth year —

PREFECT KANG SOL A wasn’t planning of ending her sixth year with a bang. She had her share of trouble in her first four years at hogwarts, trying to get rid of the corruption within the Ministry of Magic and saving her friend group from getting charged with various crimes. After a rollercoaster of a school career, she was hoping that she could just get her gingersnap cookies for a pleasant sleepover with the girls.

Clearly, the universe thought that she needed to go through a little more trouble to earn her happy ending. This time around, trouble came in the form of the most insufferable, egotistical, smug and arrogant boy she had ever met. And what’s worse? She’s currently trapped in a cupboard with him.

"Shh," the warm brown eyes of a certain Han Joon Hwi looked into her eyes when she opened her mouth to question him. His palm was smacked across her mouth, her eyes wide as she looked up at him, his face illuminated by the small light emanating from his wand.

There was only a couple inches of space between their bodies, the narrow broom closet barely having enough room to fit both of them. Most of the female population at Hogwarts would kill to be in her position, squeezed in a tight room with the most sought after boy at Hogwarts.

Well, Kang Sol A was decidedly not a part of that.

Han Joon hwi, in her humble opinion, was a menace. Not only was he one of the smartest wizards to grace the halls of Hogwarts, he was also a good sportsman, charismatic and overly kind. He was a loyal to his friend group, the self-named Maruarders, and even helped in her quest to uproot the corruption with in the Ministry.

One look at her list and you would say Well, he sounds like an amazing guy!

That precisely was the problem. He had everything in the palm of his hand: good looks, money and the golden child of a rich, pure-blood family where the Gryffindor legacy was prided above everything else. He got every single thing he wanted as soon as he set his sight on it.

Well, Kang Sol decided quite swiftly after he cracked a taunting smirk at her on the first day, that she would not be one of them.

“What are you doing here? It’s past curfew and you’re not supposed to be out walking here,” she whispered harshly, prying his hand off of her mouth and trying her best not to raise her voice like she desperately wanted to. She tried to ignore the warmth that bled from his body to hers, the way she can feel every tone of his well-built chest against her torso. His legs were firmly pressed up against her thighs, the cloth of his uniform pants and cloak soft against her legs.

Sol wasn’t sure what exactly about him got a rise out of her. She had met plenty of persistent boys back in the muggle world, but there was something about Joon hwi that made her fight back much harder than anyone else.

She often chalked it up to the fact that he was an arrogant, privileged boy, but if she was being truthful to herself, it was a lie. She knew, for some reason, that the issue lay somewhere within the quirk of his eyebrow, or the arrogant smirk on his face, or the infuriating gaze of his. It was as though they were designed to drive her insane, each gesture only driving her up the wall, and for some reason, it had her body itching to press up against his.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Joon hwi quirked an eyebrow infuriatingly.

“Well, I asked first!” she sputtered, trying to tamp down the flutter in her stomach when he looked down at her lips. As if realizing the position they were in, he shifted his body away from her, trying to flatten himself against the wall and in a moment of weakness, she almost whined in complaint.

“If I tell you, you also have to tell me what you’re doing here. Deal?” he asked, tapping his wand lightly to keep the dark room lit. Sol bit her lip as he stared down at her, trying to keep her thoughts straight as his dark eyes followed her every movement.

“Deal.”

“I was going to meet up with Ji ho to make some plans for a prank but then I saw Filch coming by so I hid in here,” Joon hwi explained, as he twisted to peak out of the sliver of an opening on the closet door, trying to make sure no one was in the corridor.

“A prank?” she yelled out, but her voice was quickly muffled by Joon hwi’s hand once more.

“Be quiet,” he gritted out, turn his head to make sure no one was walking by the cupboard. “A deal is a deal. Tell me why you’re here.”

“Whenever the house elves make gingersnap cookies for dinner, they always drop off a batch here for me and the girls,” she murmured out, her eyes cast down at her shoes rather than meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Joon hwi smirked, leaning closer to her, if it was even possible to do that given how close they were already. “Wow, does Lady Justice run an illicit cookie ring?” he teased lightly, and annoyance grew in her throat as she looked up at Joon hwi’s smug face.

“I wanted some cookies, okay!” she said, exasperated. “They’re delicious and they always run out before I get my fill. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure you weren’t allowed to do any more pranks this year.”

“Sol-ah, you know as well as I do that the school needs at least a bit of levity during these times,” Joon hwi sighed, his expression growing solemn. “No one’s had a real laugh since, well. Since the threats from the beginning of this year.”

Sol only sighed in response. She knew he was right. After Assemblyman Ko’s removal from the ministry of magic in their third year, their survival at Hogwarts had been on the precipice of destruction. The threat of war loomed above them, and the fear had only gotten worse after the dementor attack on the train to Hogwarts at the beginning of the year.

Parents were worried about their safety, and rightfully so. Her mother had owled her, finally figuring out how to send one from the muggle world into Hogwarts, and begged her to stay home, especially after Kang Dan’s disappearance from Hogwarts in their second year. Her mother couldn’t stand to lose two of her three daughters, but Sol would hear none of it.

Hogwarts was her opportunity to move up in the world, secure a better future for her mother and Byeol. Her ambition was appreciated here, and for the first time, it felt like it was going to pay off. She poured herself in her studies for the past five years and damn her, she was going to graduate from Hogwarts as a full witch.

“Plus, if it makes you feel any better, it’s Bok-gi and Ye-beom leading it this time around, not me.” He sent her a weak smile, noticing how her mood had darkened.

Sol snorted. “That makes me more worried, not less. There’s a 90% chance things go wrong when they plan. At least when you plan it, there’s only a 75% chance,” she murmured.

“Oh, why thank you so much,” he grinned at her as she scowled in return. The grin washed off his face, as he looked down at her, his eyes holding an earnesty that Sol couldn’t bear to handle. “I trust you won’t report me for this?” he asked softly.

“Of course I won’t,” she sighed, giving in. As much as he rankled her, he was good for school spirit. “I know how much everyone needs a laugh right now,” she said quietly.

Sol tilted her head up to meet his gaze once more, and drew a sharp breath at his soft expression. For a moment, all she could think of was the boy in front of her, the way he smelled of rain, the quidditch pitch and clean parchment. The way his school shirt felt against hers, the way his tie was slightly askew.

Her eyes roamed the soft lightly tanned skin of his, almost radeint in the glow illuminating the cupboard, his warm chocolate eyes swirling with something earnest and true, something that made her want to shy away from his gaze. For a moment, she wanted to give in, to allow herself into his arms, before steeling herself in a reminder that she would not be the next trophy in his brilliant trophy case.

Kang Sol A was not a prize to be won.

“It looks like the coast is clear. I bid thee adieu, my lady,” Joon hwi winked, smirking at her as though the moment never happened, before he grasped the door to the cupboard and opened the door. Or at least, tried to open the door.

The door for some reason decided to get stuck, not budging an inch as Joon hwi fiddled with the handle. He stood there trying to move it with increasing force, before she interrupted.

“Move aside, I’m sure a spell will work better,” Sol bumped into him as she pulled out her wand, barely able to move without being pressed against him more than she already was.

“Alohomora,” she cast, the white light emitting from her wand. “Now try it,” she gestured to the door. Joon hwi went to jiggle the handle once more, and was met with failure again.

“Here, let me try,” he said as he pulled out his own wand.

“I can’t believe you’re questioning my skills,” she scoffed, crossing her arms but moving out of the way for him to have a go. It’s no secret that Han Joon hwi was the best of their class, but still stung that he assumed she couldn’t even cast a simple spell.

“I’m not trying to-”

“Yeah, yeah,” she cut him off with a look of annoyance, “Just try it.”

His jaw clenched slightly, the familiar tick of his muscle showing through as he stared at her for a moment in irritation, before twisting back to the door. Flicking his wand in the perfect formation, he cast the same spell, and in a glimmer of hope, the door creaked open, only to be slammed shut with a red glow.

“What in merlin is wrong with this door?” he cursed out, yanking at the door knob. He tucked his wand into his cloak and attempted to throw his weight into it, trying to force it open, with no such luck. Sol only watched as he struggled, the furrow growing between her eyes as she watched Joon hwi put his might into it.

“Having fun in there?” a deep, familiar voice rang out from behind the door, mirth cloaking his voice.

“Ji ho? What the hell?” Joon hwi questioned, a furrow forming on his forehead as he stared confused at the door.

“It’s not just him, give me some credit as well,” a feminine voice answered in place of Ji ho’s.

Sol’s eyes widened in recognition. Kang Sol B.

“What in merlin?” Sol A hissed, before Joon hwi could get a word out. “Get us out of here!”

“No,” Sol B’s level voice replied.

“No?” both Joon hwi and Sol A chorused in confusion.

“We’re tired of listening to you to complain about each other all year,” Ji ho replied nonchalantly.

“So instead of telling us that, you decided to lock us in here?”

“Yes. The only way this resolves is if you two actually talk to each other, instead of us,” Sol B’s calm voice replied, the level cadence that once used to sooth Sol A turning into a taunt. Almost as though she’s challenging her to face the truth. Truth? The truth is that Sol resented Joon hwi. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Oh, and don’t even try to use magic. The charm on this door only wears away if the two of your actually reach a resolution. Try not to kill each other!” Ji ho chuckled at the end, clearly satisfied.

Sol strained her ears for more, trying to figure out if either of her so-called friends were still out there, only to be met with the sounds of their footsteps getting further and further from them.

“Merlin, I regret letting Ji ho borrow books from my uncle’s library,” Joon hwi ground out, shutting his eyes in regret.

“Huh?”

He let out a sigh. “Before my uncle died, he used to collect a lot of charms books. It was his specialty you know,” his paused, an emotion passing his face that was tinged with regret, and anger and something more.

Sol, despite avoiding Joon hwi with all her heart, considered herself pretty good at reading what he felt. Call it a sixth sense, but she was always aware of him, his movements, every slight change in his behavior. Still, it was hard to pinpoint what Joon hwi felt about his uncle, even though she was well aware of Joon hwi and his uncle’s rocky relationship after begrudgingly defending him in the defamation case.

She just nodded along, urging him to continue with his thoughts.

“We used to raid his book collection and I allowed him borrow books about emotion-based charms. It can detect and evaluate the emotions of either the user or the people it’s casted on,” he explained to her.

“That makes sense. Plus, Sol B is a goddess at engineering new spells so with both of them working together...” Sol trailed off.

“...It would have been a simple spell,” Joon hwi finished for her. A beat of silence passed.“Honestly, we should regret getting them together more than anything,” he let out a soft laugh.

“Well, I clearly recall that being your idea,” she huffed.

“As if. Don’t tell me you weren’t tired of watching them compete with each other and then pretend they weren’t hooking up!”

“They were hooking up that whole time? I didn’t know that,” she said, confused. Sol B and Ji ho’s relationship was always special, but Sol B was her best friend. She would know if Sol B was with Ji ho before they started their relationship, right?

“You didn’t?”

“No,” she blinked, confused.

“Did you never notice how they regularly wore each other’s ties? Or the time they turned in each other’s charms essays?”

Sol blinked, thinking back to fifth year, trying to sort through her memories for what Joon hwi was talking about, only to come up blank. Most of what she could remember was fighting against the Ministry of Magic, being increasingly annoyed at Joon hwi’s every move, and spending intense study nights at the library.

“So...” he trailed off.

“So?”

“You’ve been talking about me?” he smirked.

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself. It’s more like complaining if anything.”

“All I’m getting from this is that you talk about me,” Joon hwi sang, a wide smirk across his features.

Sol clenched her jaw, pursing her lips at the annoyance unfurling in her chest. See, this was what always happened. As soon as they were getting along, or having a normal conversation, he’d tease or poke or worst of all, ask her out.

“Right, well is there any way in those books of your uncle’s to short circuit the system?” she asked, twisting to the door even though she knew it wouldn’t budge.

”What?”

“You know, try to trick it,” she waved her hand around frantically, trying to gesture to the door. All she really wanted were her cookies, and instead she was trapped in having to ‘resolve’ their issues.

“You’d rather try to trick the spell than I don’t know... try to actually work this out?” he looked at her incredulous.

“Let’s be honest, why would that ever happen?” she blurted out, the words flowing out before she could stop herself. She didn’t mean it, but it was easier to snap at him than have an actual conversation.

A conversation was a chance, a glimmer of hope that Sol could like the boy, or worse, fall in love with him. But she knew, out of a sense of preservation for herself and him, that even the notion of something more between them was dangerous news.

Joon hwi blinked, a hint of shock crossing his face and Sol felt the instant regret flood her body.

“Look if this is about punching Yeong-chang in our fifth year, I’m sorry for what I did after but I don’t regret punching him,” he started. “I know you think I’m a git, but I watched him use an unforgivable on Ye-Seul and I just—”

“No... I-” Sol quickly cut him off, stumbling to find the words, “No, I’m not angry over that. I... I was angry at the time, but you were right. And the only reason I’d ever be angry over that is because I wasn’t the first to hex him.”

“Then why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“No? It sure feels like it.”

“I don’t hate you,” she said softer, looking into his eyes with as much earnestness as she could muster. “I disliked you because you asked me out.”

“You hated me because I liked you?” he asked, confused.

“I’m angry because you didn’t even consider how it would affect me when you asked me out,” she continued, pointedly ignoring the word hate, because she didn’t hate him. Resent? Sure. Dislike? Yeah. But never hate. “I don’t think you understood what I faced when I rejected a pureblood like you.”

Realization struck his face faster than Sol could process, Joon hwi’s features contorting to regret. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize—”

“It’s fine. Really, other than a couple girls, it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. But, asking me out, even if it was a joke, made the rejection even harder on me. And after the Ye-Seul fiasco in our fifth year, she got pulled into it with people whispering that you ‘dumped one piece of trash for another.’”

“What?” he asked, outrage thrumming through his voice. “Who?”

“It doesn’t really matter now, it’s over Joon hwi. No one says anything like that anymore, don’t worry.”

“I can’t believe-” he started, running a hand through his hair desperately as he looked up at her, trying to calm himself down.“I’m so sorry Sol. If I had known I would have intervened, and I’m sorry that I didn’t even consider what you were dealing with.”

“It’s okay,” she sighed. “It’s how it is, you know?” she said with a weak smile.

“It shouldn’t be. There shouldn’t have been a question of your blood status at all, Sol. Ever.” his voice determined. “And I’m sorry that I acted so entitled that I didn’t consider the consequences.”

“You weren’t—”

“Yes, I was. It was unfair to act like that, even if I liked you. It was inexcusable and I’m very sorry.” he rushed out, cutting her off. “And for the record? None of the times I asked you out were a joke. But, I understand that you only consider me as a friend and I promise that I won’t ever ask you out again,” he finished firmly.

Sol opened her mouth slightly, before closing it. This was what she wanted right? Then why did it hurt so much? Sol cleared her throat instead, deciding to not to think too hard about it.

“Sounds good. Friends?” she stretched out a hand for him to shake.

“Friends,” he said almost like he had trouble believing himself, grasping her hand and shaking it. She could feel the roughness of his palms against hers, his hands worn down from thousands of quidditch practices. His hands were big, engulfing hers even in a handshake, and it felt so electric as the warmth passed from his fingers to hers.

She stood looking into his warm brown eyes, a feeling of warmth and comfort spreading through her chest as they stood with their hands in each other’s grasps, just observing each other in silence. She had no clue how long they were stood like that, and if you asked her, she could have stood there just watching him forever.

It was nice, a moment of peace, of something passing between them and all she wanted to do was freeze this moment and live in it forever. A world where they got along, that they could even have a friendship. Maybe even more than a friendship, a small voice in the back of her mind echoed, which she quickly silenced.

Friends. That’s all. Only friends.

The moment was disrupted by the sound of a click, a low glow illuminating the cupboard door breaking their concentration. The door moved, the magic glowing through the wood as it was slightly ajar to let in the light from the hallway.

Silence enveloped the room as they looked at each other, as Sol brought her hand back from his grasp. Sol was stood still in the cupboard as she watched Joon hwi gather his cloak around him, his eyes still on her as he moved towards the doorway of the cupboard.

“Hey?” she asked out.

His head turned to her, his expression almost neutral.

“Make this prank the best Hogwarts has ever seen,” she smiled softly.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Joon hwi cracked a wide, honest grin, before shrouding himself under his cloak, and disappearing into the passageways of Hogwarts.

The next day, Sol walked into the great hall, only to be met with the sight of three girls, absolutely drenched in saltwater, with more buckets of water threatening to spill at any moment, floating above their heads.

And if they were the same girls that had tormented Kang Sol A, no one said a word about it, as Sol silently uttered the incantation to undo the curse, feigning ignorance at who pulled this off. She refused to even question how he found out who they were as she sat down for breakfast, pushing the thoughts to the side when she saw the gingersnap cookies and a whole assortment of food already picked out for her on her plate.

Sol’s head snapped up to catch Joon hwi’s eye down the bench and he tipped his goblet towards her, grinning widely. She smiled back, raising her goblet in solidarity and for some reason Kang Sol couldn’t help but feel something monumental had changed between them.

— seventh year —

WHEN HEAD GIRL KANG SOL A entered Hogwarts for her seventh and final year, she was hoping it would be uneventful. After spending her first four years trying to oust the corruption that plagued the wizarding world, she was hoping for a year with normal teenage girl problems. But the one teenage girl problem she did not wish for was realizing she was head-over-heels in love with the smartest (and hottest) guy of their year, Han Joon Hwi.

If you asked her friends Ye-Seul and Sol B, the realization was long overdue. After Sol B and Ji ho trapped them in a cupboard together, and forced her to talk to Joon hwi, it felt as though their friendship was on a better path. The last month of her sixth year was more than pleasant, finally being able to merge the Marauder group with her circle of friends.

It was the best summer to date after Joon hwi invited the whole group to spend two weeks at his house (or mansion as she calls it). They spent it relaxing, getting to know each other and it ignited a twinge of regret in Sol after realizing that Joon hwi could have been her best friend if she had just given him a chance.

After the getaway, both of them were constantly owl-ing each other, trying to keep in touch and update each other on anything they missed. Joon hwi even used the floo network, despite the uncomfortableness, to visit her in the muggle world, where she spent the weekend trying to explain all the muggle traditions scattered around the town.

This, of course, meant that Joon hwi was the star of each letter that she sent to Sol B or Ye-Seul, so much so that Sol threatened to break her quill if she ever talked about Joon hwi again.

“First, you wouldn’t shut up about how much he annoyed you, now you won’t shut up about amazing he is.” Sol B wrote back after she sent her fourth letter detailing her adventures with Joon hwi.

But for some reason, the idea that she was in love with the boy she chronically rejected had only clicked in her mind after she spent the last week of summer lamenting how she couldn’t have more time with Joon hwi. It was laughable at first, especially when she spent her first couple of years avoiding and hating the insufferable, annoying, gorgeous, and attractive Joon hwi, simply because he had everything in the palm of his hand.

Sol now realizes that all she did for the first three years was deny herself the opportunity to build a friendship with a brave, kind-hearted boy. The kind that wouldn’t judge anyone for their background. The kind that was humble and endlessly forgiving. The kind that would mountains for his friends. The kind that would move mountains for her.

So obviously, when one realizes they are in love with the former bane of their existence, the most sensible option is to avoid the hell out of them

Much to her chagrin, the universe had other plans.

She was standing on Platform 9 3/4, a heavy suitcase in each hand, thrumming with excitement and anticipation for the year ahead. She had gotten her shiny head girl badge in her letter from Dumbledore, alongside a small quip that she would be excited to be working with the head boy this year.

A disheveled Joon hwi approached her, not a moment later, running his hands through his hair repeatedly, a nervous habit of his that Sol had come to learn. His hands were tracing patterns onto the pants of his school uniform, as he stood in front of her, before shooting her one of his patented grins.

“Alright, Sol-ah?” he asked, his face alight with joy as he looked at her, and his grin made Sol wonder how she resisted falling in love with him earlier.

Before Sol could properly greet the boy, he had already picked up her luggage, silently taking the load off of her and helping her carry it towards the train. She smiled gratefully at him, before following behind in peaceful silence. Well, as silent as it could be with hundreds of first-year students nervously boarding the train as if they were walking towards their deaths.

“Sol, I have to tell you something,” he started as he set her suitcase into the luggage compartment on the train, running his hand through his hair again, causing it to only look more attractive. Her hands itched to run her fingers through his hair and dishevel it for him.

“Actually, let me just show you,” he sighed, and Sol focused back on him. He dug into the pocket of his cloak, while Sol looked at him with curiosity and confusion etched on her face. He produced something shiny, the light glinting off the edge. The head boy badge.

“I know this is the last thing you want, and I swear, I think Dumbledore has gone a little crazy, but if you want me to I can–”

“You are not going to trade in the badge Joon hwi, are you kidding?” Sol laughed, her face incredulous. It’s true, she couldn’t stand him for the majority of their schooling but she assumed that he understood it changed this summer. “You’ll make a great head boy and I’m glad that I’m working with you.”

“But I wasn’t even a prefect,” he tried to argue.

“So? You already show responsibility by balancing schoolwork, being one of the youngest Quidditch captain who has brought home three of the cups, and having fun while doing it,” Sol argued back.

Joon hwi relaxed, the tension in his shoulders easing up as she smiled softly at him. “Well, on to a wonderful last year eh, head girl?”

“Can’t wait head boy,” she grinned fully at him, and for a moment she forgot that she was standing in a busy train station surrounded by passengers hurrying to their trains. At that moment, all she could focus on was the boy in front of her. The boy with the disheveled hair, and the relaxed stance.

Many of the older students shot them bewildered looks as they made their way onto the train, whispers going around about how Sol A, who wouldn’t give Joon hwi the time of day, was seen spending time with him, willingly.

She underestimated how easy it was to be friends with him, to enjoy his companionship. Conversation flowed so naturally with him, but there was never a pressure to be entertaining as she felt with so many others. With him, Sol could be herself, tell him about the mundane things that happened in her life, as well as the big moments.

The prefects’ meeting in the head compartment of the train went smoother than ever, with many of the students left confused as to when Joon hwi and Sol A changed their tune about each other. Especially after notable incidents where Joon hwi started her infamous ‘Lady Justice’ nickname and she told him to go snog the giant squid.

Still, this added a complication to her initial plan to avoid him at all costs, but she thought it wasn’t too much of an issue to plan around. Kang Sol A knew that it just meant that she would have to patrol, make rounds schedules, and plan the annual dances for Hogwarts with him. They’d have plenty of time apart where she could get over this little crush of hers, right?

It wasn’t until she was stepping off the train and onto the school grounds that she realized that she was set to share the head dorms with him. Which meant that she would see him every time she stepped outside of her room. He'll be there in the common room practically every day, studying or goofing around, and she’ll have to share a bathroom with him.

Essentially, it would become impossible to avoid him.

When she expressed her catastrophic situation to her friends, who she had assumed were loyal to her, they were not sympathetic to her cause. Kang Sol B had let out a bark of laughter, followed by a smug look that had all but taunted her. The usual sympathetic and caring Ye-Seul had settled on gently teasing her, making her face turn red with embarrassment.

Of course, Ji ho had smirked and murmured something about how this spared them from seeing the sexual tension they had with each other every day which Sol had swiftly responded with a rude gesture. And when Sol suggested that she all but move into her friend’s shared dorm, both of them rolled their eyes and told her to stop being so dramatic.

But after seeing the state in which Joon hwi would walk in after Quidditch practice, she had severely underestimated how dire her situation truly was.

He had mentioned that he had Quidditch practice when she ran into him in the common room as she was making her way to do the rounds for tonight, but assumed she wouldn’t see him since her rounds ran later than the practices. But Sol’s plan to run patrols with Bok-gi ended earlier than usual since it was almost the weekend. And since both of her close friends were out hanging out with their boyfriends, she had no choice but to write her Potions essay.

Well, she did contemplate annoying Sol B and Ji ho but only god knows what Ji ho and Sol B were up to in the library tonight, so she settled on just working.

(’Studying’ was the excuse Sol B gave when Sol asked what exactly they were doing. Of course, she never specified whether she was studying for exams or studying his body.)

So Sol reluctantly tucked in for the night on the sofa of the common room, stretching her legs out after the rounds, absentmindedly playing with her quill as she came up with topic ideas for her essay. She sat there working until her mind turned into mush before the door slid open, and Joon hwi walked through the threshold with his practice jersey on.

Correction: A very sweaty Joon hwi, clad in his jersey that was sticking to his body in a sinful way, chest heaving from exertion, walked in with his broom in one hand.

If her brain was mush before, it was absolutely melted at the sight of him. Sol knew she was staring, her jaw almost on the ground as she looked at the man.

Sol was a sensible woman. She liked quiet boys, ones that were smart and passionate. Ones that were calm and didn’t pull pranks at the great hall whenever given the opportunity. Boys who would spend their nights cooped up in libraries and bookstores.

It was simply unfortunate for her poor heart that Joon hwi all of that (minus the pranking streak), AND had the athleticism of a full Olympian.

Merlin, there was just something about Joon hwi after he played Quidditch that drove her crazy. There was something about the competitive glint in his eyes, the effortless way he ran and flew on the field, the hint of arrogance as he caught the snitch that made Sol’s heart race. The way his eyebrow would quirk up and all the bravado he held on the field. It was maddening.

Sol bit her lip slightly, her breath firmly lodged in her throat as she looked at him and her mind drifted away to imagine how he would look, running across the field doing practice drills, chest heaving, and watching his muscles flex and ripple as he exerted himself.

She cleared her throat as he approached, trying to appear as if she was focusing on her studies and not his body.

“How was practice?” she asked, cursing the breathless quality of her voice, as she sat up in her seat and set the quill down.

“It was pretty good,” Joon hwi cracked a grin at her as he made his way to her, and by merlin, he was more attractive up close. Sol thought her poor heart might give out, the slight sheen of sweat covering his tan skin making him glow in the light of the fire. His hair was slightly damp from the sweat and the humidity, gently tousled from the wind.

“Try out any new strategies this week?” she asked, trying to keep him in front of her as long as possible so she could stare at him for a little longer. He launched into an explanation of everything he was trying out with the team, his eyes animated, but her eyes were roaming around his body.

She would say she was embarrassed about how she wasn’t even paying attention to what he was saying, but then she noticed how his arms would flex and move as he stretched, and all the embarrassment was thrown out the window. Whoever made the quidditch uniforms sleeveless needed an award, and Sol was ready to personally deliver it to them.

Trying to appear like she was paying attention, she absentmindedly nodded along with whatever he was saying when in reality her mind was anywhere but near quidditch.

Sol had liked boys before but never before had she felt so hazy and unhinged in her desire. She desperately wanted to take that jersey off of him, run her hands down his arms, and spend all her time admiring it.

All she could think of was how it would feel to have his arms around her, the way his fingers would grip her waist. She wanted to throw him on the couch and sit on his lap; grind her hips in circles until he begged to be inside her. She wanted to drag her nails along his muscles, along his back, feel it ripple as he moved over her. Her thighs clenched instinctively thinking about the way his deft fingers would feel against her inner thighs, teasing her until she begged him to touch her.

She had to force herself to remember how to breathe as want built in her stomach, trying her best to not let the desired show to him. It’s just what she needs, for him to know how badly she wanted him.

Then, as though it couldn’t get worse, he lifted up the corner of his jersey to dab off the sweat from his face, revealing his perfectly toned stomach.

Sol felt her face heat up, as she gawked at the way his abs tensed slightly, and she was sure that he could tell just how much it affected her, seeing him in this state. She felt frozen in desire, want, and need taking over her body and she wanted to throw caution to the wind, have him on the sofa here and now.

“Sorry, I feel disgusting right now, I’ll talk to you after I shower,” he flashed a smirk, breaking away from his monologue with mischief in his eyes, as though he knew exactly what effect it had on her and god, the confidence made her swoon. If she had less resolve, she would volunteer to join him.

Merlin, she wished she had less resolve.

She dumbly nodded at him as she watched him walk towards their shared bathroom, not trusting her voice. Her eyes were on his figure as he made his way to their shared bathroom, tracing his body with her eyes. And then she watched as he peeled the jersey off himself, his back gloriously rippling as his arms stretched.

Sol swallowed hard, feeling herself gasp involuntarily as she watched every single muscle move in his back, still sweaty and glistening off the light. From that moment on, she vowed never to have scheduled rounds on Mondays and Fridays lest she misses out on all that gloriousness.

This became routine for her for the next month, claiming she had to study in their shared common room every time Joon hwi had quidditch practice. Of course, when she saw him come in to take a shower, she would distract him by asking him questions about Quidditch and his practice strategies just to get more time with him.

Of course, Joon hwi had the audacity to invite her to his practices after a couple weeks, apparently impressed with her newfound interests in sports. It was as though he was purposely making it worse for her.

As if watching him come in after practice was torture, watching him at practice was practically killing her. Every Monday and Friday she would drag herself to the pitch, with a bag full of homework that would never get done because her focus was more on the bright boy jogging across the field, instructing his players on drills and strategies.

Just watching him exert himself was alluring, but it was even worse when he took charge of the team. The cadence of his voice as he instructed them where to go, his voice almost commanding just did something to Sol. Worse were the moments he had the audacity to look up at her and flash that bright grin of his, oblivious to all the thoughts crossing her mind as she looked at him.

Needless to say, the number of times she touched herself to the thought of him only increased from then, trying to stifle her moans as she thought of him panting and moving his body in tandem with hers.

At the end of each practice, of course, he always had her wait outside the locker rooms near the pitch, where she would try desperately to avoid Ji ho’s teasing smile or the sarcastic remark he would make before Joon hwi came out. Joon hwi insisted on accompanying her back to their shared dorms, and the conversations were always more than pleasant.

There was something different to the mundanity of the conversations they shared. Despite only growing close this year, Sol was already so familiar with his mannerisms and habits that it felt like they were best friends for years. Sol could guess exactly what Joon hwi would say or do before he even did it, and the same went for Joon hwi.

To any outsider, their conversations seemed so mundane, but for them, there was nothing more to be said when they both knew each other so well. There was a lot more joy in sharing the smallest decisions and happenings with each other, because well, they already knew about every monumental event in each other's lives. It was a familiarity that Sol knew was special, and it didn’t take very long for her to realize that she loved him much, much deeper than just romantically.

Yet the need to confess to him wasn’t something insatiable that poured out of her. It was residing underneath her skin, lurking every time he looked at her for a beat too long or gave her a smile that just made her melt. It was something that she carried with her everywhere she went, filling up her body, but never enough to burst through the seams of her skin, always held in place by her fears and their future.

It was no secret that Joon hwi was the son of one of the oldest pureblood families and being so popular, there’s no doubt that he felt pressure to continue the pureblood line, even if he didn’t believe in any of it. And Sol? She was the daughter of a muggle-born family, her mother with barely enough money to make ends meet for her sister, and Sol was always scrambling to find her place after Kang Dan disappeared in their second year. Not to mention their lives were highly surveilled after going after the Ministry of Magic.

Whatever future they could have together, it was marred by a thousand different obstacles and risks. She knew, almost intrinsically, that Joon hwi loved her just the same. But taking the leap? Allowing herself to fall for him with no inhibitions was a luxury, so she stayed content having her as a best friend.

Her conversations about him with Sol B and Ye Seul, of course, reached a record high, as the two girls would roll their eyes. They made their way into Potions, the one class that the girls and the Marauders happened to share, trying to get there before Slughorn started class.

“I can’t decide if it was better when she hated him,” Kang Sol B deadpanned, clutching her book bag to the side as she strode confidently into class, speaking as though Sol A wasn’t right beside her.

“Hey, you brought this on yourself,” Sol A chirped back, “If you hadn’t locked us in that cupboard, we would have just hated each other.”

“Maybe we should lock you in that cupboard again, hope that you two snog each other, and get rid of this tension,” Ye-seul snorted, setting her books down beside Sol A.

Sol simply scoffed, taking her seat. “It’s not that bad,” she tried to justify, but of course Ji ho found that moment to chime in.

“Au contraire, my friend in deep denial, I’m pretty sure you were drooling when Joon hwi caught the snitch at practice last week,” Ji ho smirked as he walked by Sol A, his eyes glued to her best friend.

“I was not!” Sol denied her cheeks in flames.

“Oh? Let’s ask Joon hwi then?” Ji ho smirked as he slid into his seat, before twisting towards the doorway. “Oi, Prongs! Would you say Sol was— mmph!”

Before Sol processed, her wand was in hand, stood out of her seat and she had hexed Ji ho’s mouth shut before a word could leave his mouth. Ji ho quickly twisted to glare at Sol, but Joon hwi’s towered presence blocked her line of sight.

“Five points from Gryffindor,” Joon hwi announced, his eyes filled with mirth as he looked down at Sol. “Can’t believe the head girl would act with such misconduct.”

He looked especially handsome in the morning light, his brown hair tinged gold as the light filtering through the windows glinted off. He had a soft smirk on his face, and her breath was already lodged in her throat as she looked up at him.

“Shut it, or you can be next,” Sol warned, trying to not let his effect on her cloud her threat. “Should I reverse it?” she asked as she peeked behind Joon hwi to look at Ji ho’s annoyed expression.

“Mmph!” Ji ho nodded his head in the affirmative, as Ye-seul held back laughter.

“I don’t know... It is quite peaceful without his voice,” Joon hwi mused, smirking as he twisted to look at his best friend’s pleading figure.

“Alright that’s enough,” Sol B chimed in, pulling out her wand to undo the hex.

“Thank you,” Ji ho sighed, as he shot Sol B a thankful look, which the stone-faced girl smiled at.

“Traitor,” Ji ho muttered as he turned to glare at Joon hwi, who slid into the bench next to him. “Can’t believe you’d abandon me for a girl,” he scoffed.

“Sorry mate, it’s not my fault that Sol is way better looking than you are.”

“Lies. Ignorant and a blatant lie,” Ji ho replied. “I’m the prettiest one here, we can all agree.”

“I agree,” Sol B chimed in.

“You don’t count,” Joon hwi said. “Besides I’m pretty sure you locked us in that cupboard so you can get more time with Sol B in our dorm anyways.”

“No, we locked you in there for the noble cause of saving our ears from listening to you two complain about each other,” Ji ho replied, pushing up his wire-rimmed glasses.

“I mean it’s not any better now,” Ye seul mumbled, which Sol A quickly shot a glare at in reply. Before she could formulate a proper response, Slughorn cleared his throat, signaling the start of the class.

“Alright, alright, settle down please,” Slughorn’s voice carried through the room, as everyone scrambled to take their seat next to their partner. “As all of you are aware, one of the integral potions we will brew in your final year is Amortentia. Now, why is this potion considered dangerous? Yes, Ms. Kang,” he called out to the poised girl.

“It is considered the most powerful love potion in existence, and ingestion causes powerful infatuation and obsession. But, the scent of it is safe to inhale,” she answered.

“Good. Five points to Slytherin,” Slughorn nodded. “Now, what are the characteristics of Amortentia? Yes, Mr. Ko,” he pointed to Yeong-chang’s raised.

“It has a distinctive mother-of-pearl shine and spiraling steam, but the scent varies depending on the person. Generally, the scent is personalized to what or who the person loves,” he chimed in, but it was clear his eyes were flashing down to the textbook.

Sol A let out a small scoff. Cheater.

“And Yeong-chang will probably smell his girlfriend, the giant squid,” Ji ho sneered, and Joon hwi laughed alongside him, much to Yeong-chang’s glare.

“Five points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin,” Slughorn announced, disapproval tinging his words. “Mr. Han, Mr. Seo, I expect more from the two of you. And as this is your last strike, please switch partners with the bench next to you.”

Unbelievable. Slughorn was a favorite professor of Sol’s, but he was always unfair towards Joon hwi and Ji ho just because they didn’t excel at potions the way Yeong-chang did. Of course, the dear professor wasn’t aware that Yeong-chang cheated and faked his way through the class.

Joon hwi frowned as he slid in the seat next to Sol A, Ye-seul taking his place next to Ji ho.

“He’s being unfair,” Sol A mumbled as Slughorn continued his lecture. She could feel Joon hwi’s eyes on her as she gazed ahead, trying to put on the facade of paying attention to the lecture when all she could think of was the boy beside her.

“You can’t do much about it. Assemblyman Ko was one of Slughorn’s old sponsors and you know how he likes feeling like he’s in control of the powerful,” Joon hwi replied with a shrug. Silence fell over them once more as they listened to Slughorn instruct them on the process, but a part of Sol’s mind was always aware of his presence.

The warmth radiated off of him as Sol sat, side by side with her arm not even a breath away from his, and she noted every rise and fall of his chest as the boy trained his eyes on their professor. She could hear every inhale, see every expression and thought that crossed his face.

Honestly, it was a little annoying how aware she was of him. It was as though a part of her mind would always be occupied by him, what he was doing, what he was saying, what he was wearing. It was frustrating that so much of her life was consumed by him, but what could she do except to love him?

“With that, I’ll set you free to brew your own. Please be careful as this is a very advanced potion, and be diligent. Do not ingest the potion in any way,” Slughorn's voice was firm as he set them free.

Immediately the bustle of students erupted through the classroom, the sound of flipping textbook pages and the shuffling of feet towards the shelves of ingredients as students got busy brewing.

“I’ll get the ingredients?” Joon hwi asked.

“I’ll set up the cauldron,” Sol nodded in agreement as they split up, Joon hwi leaving their bench to gather their ingredients. Slowly, Sol prepped the cauldron to brew the potion, taking extra care to make sure that nothing spilled or touched their skin.

The process to make amortentia was slow and methodical, with both Joon hwi and Sol working in tandem to be careful as they added the ingredients. A blanket of silence fell over them as they worked together, trying to monitor the potion closely to add the correct ingredients at the right times.

Slughorn slowly made his rounds around the classroom, watching as students made their potions, and commenting on advice when needed. He passed by Sol’s bench almost twice, only nodding wordlessly as he looked over the potion, which usually meant approval. If Sol wasn’t working with Joon hwi, she might have even received a comment or two, but it seems Slughorn’s disdain for Joon hwi ended up extending to her as she worked with him.

“God, Joon hwi, did you roll around in the Quidditch Pitch before you came here?” Sol asked, wrinkling her nose as she stirred the cauldron. She tried to keep the potion from spilling as the potion glinted against the light, the pearl shine mesmerizing as the spiral steam wafted from it.

“Clearly, you decided to douse yourself with your perfume this morning. I think it’s going to give me a headache,” he laughed, as he stood behind her, looking over the potion. If she stepped even an inch backward, her back would be against his chest, his body lurching close as he watched over the potion.

“But my perfume bottle broke yesterday,” Sol said, her body tensing as she twisted her head to look up at him. Confusion was etched across her face as Joon hwi’s face drained of color slightly, as he avoided her gaze.

“I haven’t been down to the pitch since last week,” Joon hwi whispered.

Their eyes locked, and the breath knocked out of both of them. She simply stared at him, wide-eyed as her mind scrambled to process what just happened. They were smelling each other in the Amortentia. Sol blinked, trying to take in the shocking features of Joon hwi’s face as her heart raced, threatening to beat out of her chest.

She knew she was in love with him, it was always there within her heart, but to be called out on it, in front of him? It was too much. Sol wanted to say she felt mortified that Joon hwi was aware of her feelings, but she couldn’t help but find relief in some odd confirmation of his feelings for her, even though they couldn’t be together.

“Well, congratulations to Mr. Han and Ms. Kang, for successfully brewing the first batch of amortentia for this year! The two of you can clean up and dispose of the potion properly, before leaving class,” Slughorn informed them as he passed by their bench, looking over their cauldron, before passing by to the next bench, but she couldn’t care less.

Her feet were firmly planted on the ground, still looking up at the shocked boy, looking as though he didn’t see it coming, as though he wasn’t even aware. His shoulders were tense with a breath he was holding, as he looked down at Sol, eyes wide and starstruck.

And all she could do was stare.

Her eyes were almost glazed over, trying to just process what happened, what she smelled, what he smelled. It was too much for her mind to handle at once, only made worse by his gaze set on her, making her feel as though she was on fire.

“You two can leave, you know?” Ye-seul’s soft voice broke their concentration as her arm reached out to touch Sol’s shoulder, jolting her from her trance. Her best friend’s eyes were kind, sympathetic to her as Sol nodded slowly. Her movements felt as though they were on autopilot, robotically gathering her textbook and parchments spread across the bench.

As though Joon hwi’s body just restarted, his movements frantically joined Sol to clean up their mess. A heavily uncomfortable silence fell over the two as their friends looked at the two of them with glances of pity and a knowing expression that infuriated her slightly.

She didn’t even utter a word of goodbye when she was finally done, forcing herself to pretend as though he wasn’t present. She walked out trying her best to pretend nothing was wrong, her back straight and her eyes fixed on some distant place as she tried to rush her way out and back to her dorm.

Except she couldn’t even avoid Joon hwi at her dorm.

Oh god, how am I going to face him now?

It’s been a week since the amortentia incident. Turns out that spending all her time with Joon hwi for the past year made her well versed in his schedule, which was particularly useful to make sure she avoided him at all costs.

Yes, contrary to her branding as a Gryffindor, she avoided him. While she had the bravery to confront Assemblyman Ko and the Ministry of Magic, confessing to her crush was where she drew the line.

She would disappear the moment she spotted him within a one-mile radius of her, which meant leaving breakfast early and dipping out of any gatherings. The only class she shared with him was potions, and luckily she was allowed to take her rightful seat with Ye-Seul.

Her friends, of course, thought the idea was stupid.

“Where’s your Gryffindor spirit?” questioned Sol B when Sol had asked her to be her personal shield until Joon hwi left the room. Even the gentle, loyal Ye-Seul had expressed concern with her behavior, warning her that putting off talking with him would only end up in hurt and confusion.

Sol would hear none of it. It was painful, knowing that Joon hwi was aware of her feelings and worse, that he returned them in full force. It was the universe's cruel joke, to make sure that her feelings were requited and then forbid her from pursuing a relationship with him.

On some level, she was aware that she was just preventing herself from enjoying true happiness, knowing that there was a sliver of a chance that it would be okay A large part of her hoped to love him, to hold him in her arms, to have him fully and without inhibitions. But the rational part, the level-headed side that she had grown to resent, told her that it would only end in pain and heartache.

There were simply too many barriers between them, she argued. He was a rich pureblood witch that was set for so much greatness ahead of him. He was destined for it, and it only made sense that whoever his partner was, would match his skills. She was the poor muggle-born witch, struggling to hold her own against the brightest at Hogwarts. She would only drag him down, she reasoned.

So, whatever fantasies of romance she had with Joon hwi would pass. It would have to pass. She will watch Joon hwi fall in love with someone else, someone better, someone worthy of him, and she will be happy for them. It didn’t matter that Joon hwi was the end for her, that she wouldn’t love anyone like she loved him. All that mattered was that he would get the person he deserved.

And all she could do was live out her life, sequestered to wishing that the person was her.

Sol checked her watch as she sat on the common room couch. 8:00 PM. Crap. It was almost the end of quidditch practice. She hurried as she grabbed some parchment and quills into her bag, trying to move fast so she can leave before he returned for his nightly shower.

Sol walked quickly towards the entrance, fiddling with the strap of her satchel as her feet propelled her forward, only to run into a warm figure. Momentarily frozen, she took a deep breath. Grass. Rain. Joon hwi.

Her head snapped up to meet the gaze of the boy, his hair dripping wet. Unlike most nights, he was showered, no longer sweating and panting from his practice. Her eyes roamed his figure as she cleared her throat.

“Hi,” she stuttered out as she looked up at him, stumbling back to put some distance between them.

“Hi,” he let a breath out as he stared down at her, his gaze piercing into her. Her body felt as though it was lit on fire, his eyes peeling her apart against her will.

“Have a good practice?” she asked, a pitiful attempt at going back to whatever amalgamation of friendship and love they had before.

“Uh, yeah,” he answered, hesitant. He pursed his lips as he continued to look at her, as though he was trying to figure out a puzzle or a mystery.

“Good then,” she concluded, tearing her gaze away from him and stepping aside, trying to move around him. Only he mirrored her movements, using his body to block her path.

She tried again, this time in the other direction, only to be met with him blocking her, and she let out a frustrated huff. Just let me move Joon hwi, and we can be passed this.

“Let me leave, Joon hwi,” she ground out, looking up at him with irritation.

“We have to talk about it at some point,” his voice firm. “You can’t ignore it forever.”

“Talk about what?” she feigned ignorance, gritting her teeth.

“Potions. Last week. The amortentia?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” she pursed her lips as she looked down at her feet, his expression too much for her to handle. One more look into his warm eyes, and the guilt would come crashing through her body.

Now was not the time to be weak and give in Sol. This is for his own good. She tried to convince herself, weakly.

“You can ignore it all you want, but I know what you smelled in that cauldron Kang Sol,” he took a step closer to her, forcing her back. Her eyes blurred as they stared into his red and golden Quidditch jersey, the colors blurring out as she noted the steady rhythm of his chest.

“So what, I smelled you in the cauldron,” she replied, her hands gripping tightly on the strap of her bag. She moved her head to meet his eyes, steeling herself. “No big deal.”

“Not a big deal? Yeah no, it’s definitely not a big deal when the girl I’ve been in love with since the first year smelled me in amortentia,” he scoffed, his familiar face confused and frustrated.

“So you agree,” she quirked an eyebrow. “It’s not a big deal.” Sol swallowed, trying not to let her traitorous heart dance at the confession that he loved her since the moment he met her. Every breath felt heavy, as though the action hurt every molecule in her body.

“It’s certainly a big deal. Sol...” he sighed. His eyes scrunched with pain, with desperation as his voice dipped into distress. “You know I love you.”

She drew a sharp breath at the admission, a pain and suffocation unfurling in her chest. Her throat closed at the admission, her eyes welling up with tears as she told herself that this was necessary. Why did you have to make it so hard?

“You shouldn’t.” she clenched her jaw, desperate to make him see how much it pained her to do this. So much regret and agony welled up in her body that she clenched her fists, trying so hard to steel herself. To tell herself that this is simply momentary.

“You don’t mean that,” he pleaded, his voice almost raw with emotion.

“I do. It’s a mistake Joon hwi,” Sol said stiffly.

Quickly, Joon hwi grew very, very still. It was as though he wasn’t even breathing as he looked down at her, his eyes filled with pain, with anger. A simple silence stretched between them, the tension filling the air as his eyes bored into her, making her skin itch with heat.

The way he looked at her was suffocating, an eternal reminder of what she was doing seared into her mind. In the back of her head, the hopeful Sol clawed her way through, desperately arguing to stay, to allow herself to love him fully. But all her fears, every insecurity shoved her down, telling her that this is for the best.

“Why?” Joon hwi asked, his voice hollow.

“What?”

“Why is it a mistake?”

“Because... Because it will only end up bad for both of us. You know that Joon hwi,” she pleaded. “You... you deserve more. Someone at your level, who can love you and keep up. Whatever this is... It’ll pass.”

Joon hwi stood in simple silence, his eyes roaming her face with a flash of irritation. “Who are you to determine what I deserve?”

Sol opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off.

“More than that, how could you say that you aren’t deserving of this love Sol? How can you not even take a chance on this?” Joon hwi questioned her. “Why can’t we just love each other and that be enough?”

“Because—”

“No. There is no reason you could come up with that is logical enough for you to do this,” he begged her. Joon hwi’s hand was trembling as he brought it up to her face, as though it would burn him to touch her. Softly, slowly, his hand cupped her cheek and in a moment of desperation, Sol leaned into it.

“I love you. And if I know you well enough... you love me. And that’s all I need Sol-ah,” he whispered, “Being loved by you is a lot more than I deserve.”

His touch was so soft against her skin that it lulled her into a peaceful trance. All she could do was look into his eyes, helplessly at his mercy of him. Her hands moved up naturally to rest on his jersey, pulling him closer to her on instinct.

“But—” she weakly attempted at an argument, her hands still clenched in his shirt, her body contrary to her mind. Everything in her craved more of him, for him to push back and tell her this is a good idea, that this is right.

“Please,” he stepped closer to her, both his hands cupping her face to tilt it up to his. “Let me love you,” he whispered to her, his lips a breath away from hers.

His lips were soft as they pressed against hers, hesitant and scared. Sol’s eyes fluttered shut, and as though something clicked into place, she moved her mouth against his slowly. Their kiss was passionate, deliberate as his hands drew her face closer to his, bringing her desperately close.

She dropped her bag as she pulled him close again, forgetting every bit of her surroundings as she was consumed by him. She was lost in the feeling of him, the way his fingers held her so carefully, the warmth of his body bleeding into hers as she stepped closer.

Their tongues moved against each other, exploring each other's mouths with such deliberation, as though they would never enjoy the feeling of kissing each other again. It was filled with every confession, every moment of love that she had suppressed from showing as her hands tugged at his jersey trying to pull his body as close as she could.

They drew away slowly, panting to gather their breath, but crashed into each other once more, the kiss frantic and desperate. This was heated, messy as their mouths slotted against each other, desperate to get as close to each other as they could. Her hands traced the edges of his jersey, before dipping underneath to feel the planes of his stomach, the way his abs tensed as she dragged her nails up.

Joon hwi shivered slightly, before parting slightly, allowing her to drag his jersey off his body in a smooth motion. She gasped slightly at the sight of his body, being able to see, touch, and feel the body she had fantasized about for months, before throwing herself at him once more. The feel of his skin made her desperate to get out of her own clothes, but luckily Joon hwi’s hands traced across the edge of her school shirt, pulling it out of the confines of her skirt.

His deft fingers made quick work of her shirt buttons, parting once only to discard them before they were joined again. The feeling of her naked skin against his was stronger than any alcohol she had ever had, her mind clouded with the way his skin felt. It was so powerful, the way he made her feel that she was sure she would never feel anything like this, for anyone ever again.

Joon hwi dropped his hands from her face, hooking them under her thighs and using his strength to carry her. Sol’s legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, still not parting from their kiss as her arms curled around his neck. Her fingers went to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, before running her hands lightly in his hair, trying to draw him closer to her.

There was something crazed at the way their hands roamed around each other's bodies, desperate to memorize the feel of his body with her hands, her body, her lips. Sol felt heady in her desire, pure lust for the boy that she loves, that she craves. She felt drunk off the feeling of his lips, breaking away from their kiss to press frantic, messy kisses against her neck.

Carefully, he set her down on the sofa, before climbing over her. The weight of his body was delicious against hers, and feeling every inch of his body pressed against hers felt like a luxury. It was hard for her to breathe, her lust and love for him suffocating and his hands roaming her skin making her mind feel lost.

She could feel her mind lose focus as Joon hwi’s attention turned down her neck and her collarbones, taking his sweet time exploring every inch of her body with his hands, his lips, his teeth. Her hands once more sought anchor in his hair, when she realized just how damp it was.

“Wait,” she said, her voice throaty from disuse. “Did you take a shower already?”

“Mhm,” he hummed against her skin, pressing kisses into her stomach as he continued his track down her body. “The quidditch pitch has showers.”

“So,” she paused, letting out a gasp when he nipped at her skin, “Why did you come up here to take a shower after practice?”

At that, Joon hwi lifted his head, a mischievous smirk across his face. “That, my love, was just a show for you,” he winked as she gasped.

“You minx! I can’t believe you,” her eyes narrowed.

“Too late. It was your choice to love a Marauder,” he laughed. “I will always be up to no good.”

“Promise?” she asked.

“Promise, Sol-ah,” he smiled, before they got drunk in each other's presence once more.

50 notes · View notes

myouicieloz · 7 months

Note

Hi! I just found your blog and I’m looking forward to your works. Could I request a Seulgi angst fic; where you and Seulgi have been in a happy, loving, fulfilling, committed relationship for the past 3 years, but one day when she came back from practice with the girls you two got into a heated argument about how she’s always canceling dates with you because work related things come up that she “can’t miss” and she ends up bringing up something that you had confided in Her about awhile ago and uses it against you; to which she immediately regrets and tries to take back and can you take it from there? Thank you! I look forward to it:)

Missing you

Kang Seulgi x reader

Warnings: toxic!relationship, angst (dw it’s all good now)

Word count: 3.7k

Notes: hi!! sorry for taking long <3. I kind of struggled to think of a motive of them arguing bc it kept getting too dark (as in they wouldn’t be able to get past this lol) and I kinda wanted a happy ending. I hope this is to your liking!! Kisses mwah mwah.

Your gaze flew to the clock for the 30th time in a spam of five minutes, making you sigh in defeat. Seulgi had promised you she’d meet you at your favorite restaurant for dinner, as a way to make up to you for being so busy over the past weeks. Yet there you were, sitting alone with a glass of bitter wine for over two whole hours before you finally gave up and went home, realizing she wouldn’t come. Again.

Babe <3

Hey baby, rehearsals are going up until late since we still have so much to work on

I won’t make it to dinner. Sorry.

Next week, though? I’ll make it up to you. I promise.

I love you

You got into your apartment just as her message lit up your phone. You threw it over the sofa, preparing yourself a long bath to try to relax. You took a deep breath before entering the warm water, the bubbles and the silence easing your tensed muscles. You tried not to think about your girlfriend or your relationship, knowing it’d only make you even more upset, but your thoughts didn’t seem to let you rest.

You and Seulgi loved each other, you knew that much. You’ve never loved her any less in those three years you’ve been dating, but it pained you to see how much you’ve drifted apart lately. You felt like you were the only one trying to spend time with her, and it wasn’t like you weren’t busy yourself: being an intern in one of Seoul’s top hospitals while studying for residency was tiring and difficult, specially since you’ve always been a bit behind your colleagues, having to push yourself harder than the most to simply be at their level. Still, you always made sure to make some time for Seulgi. Why couldn’t she do the same? Were you not important to her?

Those thoughts made you sigh, your body immersed in the water until it went limp and the water grew cold. Part of you wished you could be somewhat more imposing: demand more from her, confront the woman over your issues, telling her how you felt. You couldn’t, though. You were too weak for that. Which was the reason you dragged yourself to bed, rolling over to set your alarm on your phone before allowing your body to be dragged by sleep.

It’s ok.

Next time, then

Gnight love

Seulgi’s reply came hours later, although you were fast asleep.

Sweet dreams, dearest.

To say you were having a bad day was a euphemism. Your preceptor had given you the biggest, shittiest lecture over nothing (so what if you couldn’t get the stupid procedure done at the very first try? He had no right to scream at you to get out of the OR like that, let alone yell at your face for over half an hour about how dumb and unprepared you were, compared to others. Preposterous piece of crap). You nearly fell down the stairs on your way to lunch and, to make it better, your umbrella broke, making you run all the way home after being dropped at the bus stop to try to get less soaked. It didn’t work, and you entered your place with chattering teeth and the feeling of the wind carved deep in your bones. Your body was trembling so much from the cold and the stress, you dropped your keys twice before you managed to open the door, finally sighing in relief.

That relief, however, ended just as you spotted your girlfriend’s silhouette leave your kitchen and enter your living room, smiling as if she hadn’t fucked up hard by leading you on for so long.

“Jesus baby, you’re soaked.” She frowned, giving you a peck on the lips. Your body went rigid at her touch, exhausted from everything, which made Seulgi confused. She was finally able to make some time and come see you, so why weren’t you happy?

You simply murmured something along the lines of hello and so nice to see you, before hurrying to your room to get rid of the wet clothes that clung to your body. You took the hottest shower of your life, trying to wash all the discomfort away, which didn’t work in the slightest.

You loved Seulgi so much it hurt, but the last thing you wanted for the day was to see her. You felt drained, your body ached, and you so desperately wanted to hide under your sheets and cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t want to talk about your day—about anything, specially not to her. It’d demand too much energy to explain what was going on with you over the past few weeks, since you never seemed to properly talk to each other, anymore. You had no energy for that.

And you’ve always sucked at communicating, anyway.

You forced yourself to leave your room, dragging your feet in tiredness, and found Seulgi setting up the table for two. You sat down, still silent, and watched as she put some Tteokbokki for herself.

“I’ve already eaten at the hospital.” You told her, returning her stare with a shrug. Seulgi sighed at your pettiness; perhaps you did get mad at her for canceling on you on the prior week, unlike you’d told her. And the week before that. And-

Ok. She might deserve a bit of your cold shoulder. But you simply had to understand her: she was working so hard with the girls to prepare for their comeback, and there were still many things to be adjusted. Their expected date was approaching, and you’ve always been so comprehensive. Sure, she knew you often masked your feelings or simply dismissed them to try to please others, but she’d asked you about it so many times. If something was making you uncomfortable, you’d sure tell her. Right?

“So,” She grunted, adjusting herself in the chair. “How was your day?”

“It was fine, thanks.”

“Okay.” Seulgi murmured, not touching her food either. She was beginning to get irritated at your distance now. Sure, she knew being a doctor was exhausting and time-consuming, but it wasn’t like she wasn’t having one hell of a week, either. Her fingers twitched under the table, and she no longer stood the awkward silence between you. Rolling her eyes, she added, “Are you just going to be a bitch all night? Because I got here straight from practice, I’m tired as fuck and the last thing I want is for you t—“

“What are you doing here, then, Seulgi?” You interrupted her, feeling the anger rise on yourself too. “Don’t you have rehearsals and recordings to be too busy with? Or should I just be so fucking grateful that my girlfriend decided to grace me with her company? Am I not paying enough attention to your liking?” You usually tried your best to not be rude to others, keeping your sarcastic thoughts to yourself, but your sudden anger flared up and forged a cloud over your mind, making it hard to see clearly through it. “Should we call the others, then? The girls you spend all fucking day with?”

Seulgi rose from the table, her face heating up at your words and suggestions. You played low at that, you both knew it, but now you’ve gotten her way too pissed to think about consequences.

“What the fuck, Yn? What’s gotten into you?” She screams, leaning forward so you two were face to face, “I know it was not ideal at all to skip our dinner.” Multiple ones, you both knew it, but neither pointed it out loud. “But you know I can’t miss work. Please understand.”

Seulgi was just so mad and frustrated. Her times with you were always stress-relieving to her, but lately all you’ve been doing is either argue about minor stuff or simply not talk at all. It was taking a toll on her when it shouldn’t, not with her comeback so close and her stress levels already escalating. It wasn’t good for you either, with your crazy work routines and weekly exams at the hospital. She knew that.

But you couldn’t seem to make it work.

“What’s gotten into me?” You stood up yourself, too, towering over her. Since you were always so sweet and patient, Seulgi would often forget how much taller you were— in fact, it was one of the things she first noticed when you first met; it had gotten her attention instantly. She hated it now, though— how small it made her feel. “What’s gotten into me is that it seems like I don’t even have a fucking girlfriend anymore! You ignore me all the time like I’m just some friend and not someone who matters! I don’t even know what you’re doing half of the time, with God knows who.” You threw your hands in the air, exasperated.

Her expression turned into a scowl, and she rolled her eyes, palms curling into fists to shake the urge of grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking your insecurities away. Seulgi hated when you implied such things. You were the love of her life, and she’d never, never cheat on you, no matter how distant you were. But you were (deeply) insecure, and she knew that. She was also so, so enraged and stressed.

“Jesus, why are you always so fucking dramatic?” she was quick to snap back, defensive. “Acting like I’m going to leave you for the first person I see in the stree…” Seulgi’s words died on her mouth, immediately realizing the power of her words, making both of you gasp. She tried to reach out to you, but you pushed your chair roughly to get away from her.

Your body went rigid, countless memories of you crying to her flagged your mind. You’ve confessed to her many times about how much it bothered you to not have her around as much. You missed her deeply, and even though you trusted her completely, your mind was always playing tricks on you — not only about her, but with everything: how you weren’t enough at University, always behind your friends in grades; not interesting enough to make long last friendships, as you often saw in big groups of friends; not pretty or talented enough for your girlfriend, who was constantly around so many amazing people. That’s just how your mind worked 24/7; constantly wondering.

And now, Seulgi made sure to tell you just how much she hasn't forgotten any of that. Any of the things that made you deeply insecure.

“Get out.” You told her, hugging yourself to hide the urge of running straight to her arms.

Seulgi took a step forward, but it only made you back away twice as much. “Baby, I’m so sorry… listen, I—“

“I said get out!” You screamed this time, the tears you were fighting so hard to contain rolling freely on your face.

All the sensations you were suppressing all week erupted, boiling over your surface as you brushed past the hallway to try to get to your room, to the bathroom, anywhere small were you could be confined and finally let it all go. You were straight up sobbing now, your body hot from moving roughly alongside your heavy breathing. You were so sick of everyhting. Work, your friends, her. Her words hurt, and all you wanted was to disappear. You didn’t quite feel your body as the tears clouded your eyes, and suddenly very light, delicate hands were lifting you up —you now realized you’d simply sunk in the middle of the hallway, hugging your knees as strong as you could— and guiding you to your bedroom. Seulgi helped you to get under the covers as she lay down beside you, careful to not overwhelm you even more. When the older woman saw you’d settled down a bit, she opened her arms, making you cling onto her immediately. You knew you shouldn’t, but it was so comforting, and you loved her so much… You’d allow yourself just that, only for a few moments.

“I-I don’t want to do this anymore.” you muttered against her neck, wetting her shirt with your tears. “I’m so tired, Seulgi. I can’t.”

You felt her tense before you for brief seconds before her soothing touches went on, kissing your forehead ever so gently— almost as if you were made of glass. You certainly felt like it, at the moment. Like you were a glass full of cracks, threatening to shatter.

“Shh, it’s ok.” She cooed, running her hands under your shirt to draw small circles on your bare back, as she knew it soothed you and made you sleep almost instantly. “You’re too tired right now. Sleep, ok? I’ll be here when you wake up, then we’ll talk.”

You didn’t like the idea of talking things out with Seulgi. It would be too tiring, and maybe, just maybe… you were postponing it for so long because you feared what the outcome would be.

You were too afraid to lose her. So you’d rather leave things as they were, no matter how broken and uncomfortable they might be.

Your eyes, however, were already closing on their own, the warmth of her body making it so easy to just give in and rest.

“Okay.” You whispered, hugging her closer. “Tomorrow.”

You fell into a sleep without dreams soon enough.

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was how messy the right side of the bed— Seulgi’s side was. You’d missed the wrinkled sheets and how it always looked like a hurricane had passed over your bed whenever she came over, from how much she moved in her sleep. It made you smile to yourself as you got up, bare feet on the ground, while you hesitantly looked around for her, too scared to call her name out loud and find her gone.

It wouldn’t be the first time she broke a promise, after all.

You’d forgotten how much all the little things with her made you happy.

“…Hello?” You asked— secretly relieved, at the sight of your girlfriend kneeling on the ground, little wrinkles adorning her face as she tried hard to shove too many clothes on your washing machine.

She looked up, startled by the sound of your voice, but quickly smiled. “Hi. Did you have a good sleep?” Seulgi sounded genuinely concerned, making you curse yourself silently for worrying her.

Are you ok? She wanted to ask you. Seeing you so distressed had gotten her so guilty and concerned. She hated to see you like this, and it killed her to know she was to blame. I care.

“Yeah, I did, thanks.” You shrugged it off, standing awkwardly at her sides. “You don’t have to do my laundry, you know.”

“Well, someone has to.” Seulgi scoffed, rolling her eyes as she finally managed to close the machine’s door, even if with a bit of an effort.

You opened your mouth, faking being offended while bringing your hands to your heart. “I was going to do it, okay? On…”

“Saturday.” You both finished, together. Saturdays were laundry day for you, though you rarely followed your schedule through. It made you smile, to know she remembered it, and you said nothing, trying to not break the nice moment you were having.

“So, do you want to have lunch? We can go out, if you’d like.” Seulgi suggested, her tone careful as she fidgeted the hem of her big sweatshirt.

You simply stared at her, confused. Lunch? Had you really slept for that long?

“You slept for 13 hours, babe.” She clarified, looking at your confused face, making you quickly check your phone to confim the truth: it was, indeed, nearly lunchtime.

You’ve never been so grateful to be on your day off as much as you did now, or else you would’ve sure missed your pre-rounds at the hospital.

“Oh, ok.” You answered, a bit ashamed for dozing out for so long. “Let’s have lunch, then.” You realized she must’ve been skipping work, too; which was why you added, frowning. “Don’t you have to be in the company? It’s ok if you do. I can wait until nigh—“

“Don’t worry about it.” Your girlfriend clarified, motioning for you to get ready. “Let’s just have lunch, ok?”

You took a deep breath, knowing what she meant; it was urgent for the two of you to sit, talk and solve things. Giving in, you followed her, changing from your pajamas and fixing your hair as she grabbed some of your clothes (that were too big on her, as always. she loved it.) to go out.

“Ok.”

You played with your hands, sitting in front of Seulgi at a local restaurant near your house as you waited for your food to come. The cozy atmosphere didn’t do much to easy your discomfort, and you tried hard to not bite your (already deeply bitten) nails off. Seulgi’s eyes were trained on you, making you feel as if hundreds of tiny needles were piercing your skin through her gaze. To your surprise, not once had she checked her phone, unlike all the times you’ve been together over the last few months. Instead, her sole attention was on you, like you dreamed of so many times in those last weeks.

Now, however, her current focus only makes you want to throw up, from the nerves of the situation.

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself.” She expressed, as a matter of fact. It was true, but her accusation made you defensive, eyes snapping to her as you took a deep breath.

You were tired of arguing, and this was one of your favorite places: you’d rather not cause a scene. “Seulgi.”

“Am I lying?” Your piercing gaze was enough for her to roll her eyes, hands up to show you she wasn’t looking for a fight either. “Ok, let’s not go there.” Her tone dropped an octave, “I just worry, ok? You seem to be having it pretty tough.”

She wasn’t pressuring you to say anything before the two of you actually discussed your issues— you knew it as much. It as just hard for you to express yourself, now even more to do so without crying. And you didn’t want to cry in front of her.

“This rotation has been tough, like I already knew it would be.” You told her, refusing to meet Seulgi’s eyes. “It’s ok, though. It’s nearly over, now. Things will get better, then.”

You’d talked about it before your rounds started, Seulgi remembered. Flashes of you, worried, flashed through her mind, with herself assuring you she’d be by your side to help you on each step of your journey.

The memory made her want to throw up, too.

“Look at me, baby.” You heard her say, yet you still refused to meet her eyes. Instead, you felt her hands holding yours, her touch firm. “Yn, look at me.”

You closed your eyes to prepare yourself for whatever was about to come, a few quiet moments amidst the storm of both of your minds. When you opened them, she was ready to welcome you. “I’m sorry, ok? I truly am so, so sorry for those last couple of weeks— hell, these couple of months. I’m such an idiot for leading you on like that and for not treating you like you deserve it. I love you, God, I fucking love you more than anything in this world, Yn, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Her grip went tighter, but you didn’t care. You could only listen to her words. “I promise I’ll do better, to show you how much you matter to me. I’ll be here for you, just like you’ve always been, for me.” She murmured, taking your hands to your lips as she kissed them gently.

Little droplets of tears still threatened to fall from your eyes as your voice faltered, a bulge forming in your throat. You loved Seulgi and needed her like the air you breathed, and sure missed her every second of the day, when you weren’t together. But her distance had hurt you, deeply.

She was crying, too. You realized you’ve actually never seen her cry, in the 3 years you’ve been dating.

“Your distance really hurt.” You managed to voice it to her, between hiccups. “I-I felt like I was doing something wrong all the time.”

“You weren’t. You’d never, baby.” She reassured you, running her hands through your hair to get it out of your wet face. “It was my fault. You’re mine and I’m yours, ok? We’ll start over, and I’ll show you how much you matter to me. I won’t fuck up our relationship anymore.” She looked at you timidly, adding, “And I’m sorry for what I said yesterday, too. It was not my place to use something you confined at a moment like that. I was such a huge bitch.”

“It’s ok.” You muttered, though still hurt.

“No it’s not.” She exclaimed, serious. “It was horrible, and I’m deeply sorry for that. It’s not going to happen again. Ever.”

Instead of answering, you lunged forward, kissing her urgently— fuck the restaurant and etiquette. Seulgi kissed you with equal fervor, savoring your taste. God, she’d missed you so much.

“I love you.” You told her, smiling as you ended the kiss, leaning on the chair. She pouted, but opened a big smile as she saw yours. “And I don’t want us to end. We’ve been through so much. I want to be by your side, with anything that comes.”

“I love you more, Yn. We’ll be together, always. Nothing will fuck us up anymore. No rehearsals, recordings… nothing.” Her hands brushed your lips as she stared at your face, enamored, before adding. “Now tell me about everything I’ve missed. And I mean everything. Don’t save your words.”

You laughed at her, nodding as you quietly started from the beginning: you’ve told her every bit she missed, and Seulgi told everything about herself, too. You ate your food with content, exchanging every single moment with her until hours had passed, and you’ve decided to return home.

And as you walked in the park together, the windy breeze calmed your soul, and with your love by your side, you felt much, much better.

As it should always be.

#red velvet #red velvet angst #red velvet imagines #kpop smut #kpop x reader #kang seulgi #red velvet seulgi #seulgi angst #kpop angst #seulgi x reader #seulgi x yn #red velvet x you #red velvet x reader #kpop x y/n #kpop x you #sol writes #sol’s works #seulgi smut #kang seulgi smut

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