#kaputt writes stuff

[daswarschonkaputt]

tempted to leak the a/b/o mpreg not!fic i wrote for kinnporsche because i was challenged to

#kaputt writes stuff #a/b/o cw #kinnporsche #kinnporsche fic #mpreg cw #this one exists bc i was like ''i bet i could write mpreg!kinnporsche that is compelling and doesn't deply runs-away-with-baby tropes'' #to which siv and nemi replied ''aight. bet.'' #it's a little heavy in its themes though #wouldn't really know how to tag it #i have 5k of not!fic for this idea this is not a joke

[all-my-worlds-a-stage]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for tagging me in this @bluespring864 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42 – the answer to everything.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

206,473

3. What fandoms do you write for?

These days it’s mainly Tatort. And I guess I should also mention Star Trek, even though it’s been a couple of years. And then there’s the odd TV show or movie that somehow piqued my interest, plus stuff like Harry Potter and Sherlock back in the day. But my main fandom, and the one I feel most at home in, is definitely Tatort. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Apart from the number 1 spot, these were actually quite surprising to me.

Past, Present and Beyond: Star Trek: AOS (Post-Star Trek Beyond), Kirk/Spock - Spock retrieves the box that contains the belongings of Ambassador Spock and carefully puts it on his desk.

Über Nacht Bleiben: Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne - Boerne findet, man kann nachts ruhig in einem Bett schlafen. Um nicht so allein zu sein.

Grün und richtiges Grün: Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne - „Das kann Ihnen doch völlig egal sein, mit wem ich…“ Boerne verstummte und starrte ihn aus seinen grünen Augen an. „Ist mir aber nicht egal“, sagte Thiel.

Wenn aus Münster Meer wird: Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne - Es war ein warmer Sommerabend, er hatte hervorragendes Essen vor sich stehen und er saß mit den Menschen an einem Tisch, die er eigentlich am liebsten mochte. Er hätte glücklich sein können. Aber es war ihm alles zu viel. Zu viele Menschen, zu viele Gespräche, zu viele Eindrücke. Und zu viel Boerne. Sie waren doch mal sowas wie Freunde gewesen. Warum hatten sie das kaputt machen müssen?

Late-Night Cravings: Grace and Frankie, Grace/Frankie - “Grace, I want cake!”

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Oh, absolutely. I love reading comments and the least I can do is say thanks when people take the time to write one. It’s also always fun to talk more about an aspect of the fic or a character, and I love when I suddenly find myself talking to people outside of the comment section. Fandom’s supposed to be about community, after all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to write happy endings. But I guess Manchmal hört sie heimlich zu (Tatort Münster, Wilhelmine Klemm/Monika Hanke-Helmhövel) and In Vino Veritas (Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne & Klemm/Krusenstern) have the angstiest endings I’ve ever written. They’re both Hurt No Comfort and Unrequited Love.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I guess, all of my other fics have rather happy endings. I don’t actually think there is a happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven’t in ages. As I said, the Tatort fandom is nice <3 But some of the Harry Potter and Sherlock people were… intense. A couple of times people told me a fic was alright, but I should’ve written for another ship, which isn’t hate, of course, but why? And then there was this one time some biphobic asshole complained about me writing a character as bisexual ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. The explicit kind. Sometimes it serves a purpose in a story, sometimes it’s just for the fun of it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Do crossovers between different Star Trek shows or between different Tatort teams count as proper crossovers? If so, I’ve actually written quite a few of them. If not, then the only ones I’ve written were back in the day with a Harry Potter fandom friend. We used to take our favourite characters from all sorts of media, plus our self-insert OCs and send them off on all kinds of adventures together.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I know that people have used Google Translate in order to read my German language fic for a French movie.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep, see question 10. Also, @fallingforfandoms and I are currently working on a Tatort AU together, which is very exciting.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I don’t actually know. It varies. But Kirk/Spock, Janeway/Crusher, Thiel/Boerne and Klemm/Lürsen will always be among my favourites.  

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I’ve got the beginnings of a Star Trek Bake Off AU somewhere. I still love the idea, but right now I can’t really imagine that I will ever continue writing it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh boy, maybe my readers would be better at answering this question. I like to think that I’m quite alright at writing dialogue. But maybe that’s because it's what I find most enjoyable and what often comes to me fairly easy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel that my writing sometimes lacks description or insights into a character between dialogue. And I’m not that good with longer stories. Plotting is hard for those, especially for crime shows, when you want to incorporate the crime aspect. And I am a slow writer.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it fits the story, sure. So far, I’ve mainly used dialect rather than a completely different language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically, Star Trek in 5th grade or so. But I didn’t know that I was writing fanfic or what a fandom even was. First thing I published was for Harry Potter, and first thing I published on AO3 was for Tatort Münster.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I’m bad at choosing favourites. It would depend on my mood, I guess. Right now, if I absolutely had to pick one, I’d probably go with In Vino Veritas, which might be strange, since it’s a rather short one and doesn’t have a happy ending. But I just like it.

Tagging @fallingforfandoms @thotstochter @iiiflow @cornchrunchie and @carlomenzinger if you feel like sharing a bit about your writing.

#tag game #about me #about writing

[samsaintjames]

It's funny how it took me almost two days to understand what people found so funny about the old Zeit Cover with "die Queen". I still found it funny, because it's one of those denglish moments, but obviously for different reasons than the rest of the world, because everybody thought "die" is a verb. As someone whose mother tongue is German and who is speaking mostly English at work because many of my coworkers do not speak German, it however never occured to me to read "die" as anything except the definitive article.

1) If you'd have wanted to use a purely "German" title page, they would've had to write "Königin Elisabeth II" instead - without the article. Because just "die Königin" could've been any queen, maybe from the northern countries. But if they combine it with "queen" everybody definitely knew it's the British one; just like Queen Mum was the british Queens Mum - almost nobody bothered writing "Königin Mutter" or something in their articles.

2) We often use the english words and just stick the articles to them when we talk (most tech stuff works like that, like smartphone, tablett etc.). In the lab for instance, if the puller we use to make the glass pipettes is broken, someone will come and tell me "Der Puller ist kaputt." (which, now that I've been thinking about it, is hilarious on many levels to be honest, because Puller (short for Pullermann) is also the word little boys might use for their penis, because "ich muss pullern" means I need to pee, so yeah lol), instead of "Der Pipettenzieher - or whatever that thing might be named in German - ist kaputt.". The same holds true for patch-clamp amplifier, patch-clamp setup and most of the other things we have standing around - use the english word, stick an article to it. So if someone tells me something about "die Queen" I'm just like: okay. Nobody's gonna bat an eyelash at such a denglish combination; though older people maybe might frown a bit.

(Funny story, I remember when I was younger that people would take care to actually say/write DNS instead of DNA as abbreviation when talking about DNA, but nowadays nobody cares anymore. And then we have things like "die PCR" where the translation doesn't fit the abbreviations either, but I doubt that PKR was ever even considered as a name. So I think at some point everybody in science was just collectively like: "Eh whatevs. Stick an article to it, call it a day.".)

[sunshine-smiley-sims]

Kaputtgeliebt-Mediafire Purge

Hello :)

I downloaded the files almost a year ago and I wasn’t able to upload them until now beause of a lot of private stuff going on. I’m very sorry about that.

The files are from this livejournal: https://kaputt-geliebt.livejournal.com/

And heres the link to the folder on my Simfileshare account: http://simfileshare.net/folder/152853/

A few links already were broken, but the majority of the links worked.

They are not my files, I just saved them to prevent them from being deleted by mediafire, because there hasn’t been a post by kaputtgeliebt for a long time. If you are kaputt-geliebt and want me to put down the link for your files, just write me a message. It may take some time until I react, because there is still a lot going on in my life, but I will remove the link immediatley once I see the message!

@sims2packrat

[leatherbookmarking]

fuck that ! im gonna talk about them deadboyz!! shame is for the WEAK

overall:

belong to a much less known subsidiary company of jinhit no jgs isn’t worth the joke entertainment. if they were in any other company they would be super rookies but jgs is keeping them in the basement and it’s not even his own basement

initially i think there were some high stakes in it for jgy...? something like ‘you produce the songs and make their chores and if you flop you’ll never be on stage again’ but?? i don’t know now tbh

would have been really popular (they are Good) but less known company, etc, and also some rumors around the time of their debut made it so they’re only knows because ‘they’re kinda good at dancing aren’t they’

general concept is uh... cool dudes, kinda fucky but not too much...? gotta think about the baby (a-yu)

THE MEMBERS: meng yao (leader, main dancer, vocalist), wen chao (oldest, main rapper), su she (main vocal, dancer), xue yang (rapper, dancer, unofficially: moodmaker, if by ‘mood’ you understand ‘horror at whatever has just come out of his hellish mouth), wen ning (dancer, vocalist, sometimes rapper), mo xuanyu (vocalist, the Baby™)

MENG YAO:

leader, single-handedly responsible for making these rowdy boys (wc&xy) stop wanting to kill each other

has probably auditioned for every single company there is. was in the nie company for a bit, but it was still a mess freshly after the previous owner, nmj’s father, has died, nmj has struggled (being a producer, not a businessman) so when it turned out they’d have to let some trainees go, the other trainees made it so meng yao was the one to leave. then he temporarily was at wrh’s company where he got kind-of-semi-famous as one of wen qing’s main back dancers (the one she’s interacted with the most) during her last performance. then the company went kaputt and jgs has snatched him off for himself, and then... put him... in the basement.... for two years... after which he gave him a chance, and voila

insanely hard-working. an all-rounder. mainly he excels at dancing, but his vocal and rap skills also Fuck. persona? impeccable. he’s learning to write and compose his own songs and he’s doing well, but he can’t even upload his stuff on soundcloud, because... you know why. has doubled as a manager in their early days. also, dimples.

the fans had tried to make a dad/mom dynamic with him and uh... wen chao...? since they were the oldest and pretty much the opposites, but quickly gave up and he’s now simply known as yao-ge due to his stern but loving persona. (yao-jie, sometimes)

DOES do the split. it was his rookie trick for a year after they debuted, but he simply is just like that. one show host asked him “is there definite proof that you have bones?“ and meng yao only shrugged humbly

WEN CHAO

oldest, has been a trainee for the longest time, hasn’t debuted because... well... he wasn’t good... and that was because he’s felt too safe in his dad’s company. WELL ABOUT THAT,

his older brother wen xu has debuted Long before him, but after a few years his group disbanded, he moved on to modeling and then stopped after a couple of years, too. (he got married.)

you know how i said their image is ‘cool, a bit fucky’? well, he’s 40% of that fuckiness. he’s been told again and again that idols aren’t supposed to date/have dating experience, but he still can’t get the hang of it

yes, he and jiaojiao were an item back in the wen days. she’s a trainee at some other company now but they still hook up sometimes

initially was intent on maintaining a cool, calm and collected image... then he met xue yang and threw that idea outta the window. paradoxically, they’re interesting together, not only as rappers but also as... high-energy, chaotic energy makers of the group...

this is a happy au, so: initially he’s thought everything is bullshit, these talentless fucks are dumb and he should already be a top idol. by the time of their debut, he agrees that meng yao is one crafty motherfucker. a year after their debut, if anything happened to any of his boys, yes even xue yang, he would kill everyone in the room, etc, etc BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.

SU SHE

unfortunately, was added before their first comeback (second release) and therefore controversial. fortunately, his vocal completes the group’s image and musical flavour

was a trainee in yinshen ent where he really admired their top idol, lan wangji, until... he got to know him (?) when they were sent to compete in a survival show and decided lan wangji ain’t shit and is, in fact, a stuck-up self-centered bitch. the survival show crashed (unrelatedly), but still some serious words were exchanged. during Some Company Problems, quite a lot of trainees have left, but he was the one who left with a Bang.

joined that one subsidiary of jin ent because of meng yao, who, just like in canon, recognized him, said he loved him in (song he’s performed in the survival show) and with this he cemented his position as su she’s new Boy Who Makes Him Go !!!!.

slowly replaced meng yao as The Man Who Does This Face at the other lads’ rowdy behaviour.

fans remember he was :/ at lan wangji, so his persona wouldn’t work anyway, but he does make quite a convincing kind dude-next-door.

stubborn side of the fandom’s next candidate for the mom member, because... he’s ridiculously prepared and reliable. who carries hydrogen peroxide in their daily use backpack? this boy !

it used to be rubbing alcohol but i had too many reasons to apply it internally, he once says mournfully, and this is how xue yang discovers he has a sense of humor, sort of

unfortunately, has the juiciest ass in the group. unfortunately, because

XUE YANG

responsible for: being inappropriate. the other 60% of fuckiness, really enjoys getting into wen chao’s personal space (since wen chao is That straight dude) and just... doing whatever to make su she Scandalized.

but he’s so cute we’ll forgive him. at least until the next time he does a surprise butt grab

very agile! dance line along with meng yao and wen ning. apparently he was a stunt guy...? apparently the lived in the streets...? apparently he went to the same dance school as meng yao...? no one knows his past. no one has seen his kid photos. did he go by another name...? insert the what are birds gif but make it who is xue yang.

adds sound effects to real life. also in his raps, sometimes

started hugging and initiating physical contact with people to assert dominance to be annoying, but ended up actually liking it, even though the one he does it comfortably with is meng yao. just like... back hugs? resting his chin over a-yao’s shoulder? it’s neat. sometimes a-yao pats his hand or taps his nose absent-mindedly and it’s super neat. if he notices you noticing it, though, he will BITE

most popular member, but everyone likes him for different reasons and has a different uhhh headcanon about potentially dating him. bad boy xue yang/cute bratty didi xue yang/sweet boyfriend xue yang, etc, etc

no one knows how, but apparently he knows the iconic duo from a small company, xiao xingchen and song lan...? or rather, song lan pretends not to know or notice him, meanwhile xiao xingchen is very cute when they’re interacting, and basically it prompts a lot of dating rumors, especially since they’ve been spotted having hotpot.

WEN NING

su she was the one to join last, but actually it’s wen ning who’s the least popular member. i’m just so quiet that people don’t notice me, haha, he says while being 180cm tall and having killer charisma when he dances

seriously, what’s up with that? it’s almost like he’s a different person, a possessed one to add to that. huh!

in contrast, his voice is very gentle and even cute, and he often sings quietly to himself. sometimes to other members (there’s a video of him singing what seems to be a lullaby to mxy), sometimes to little animals (there’s a video of him singing to a tiny frog he’s found during a walk). gentle boyfriend wen ning but it’s CANON

in contrast to the contrast, he doesn’t rap often, but when he does, it’s like... who’s that?? another member??? dualism king

when wc/xy cause problems on purpose, he doesn’t react/allows them to tease him/slap his ass/bump into him when they’re fighting. he seems like a calm, gentle guy so when they’re in a variety show and it’s Time For A Punishment, of course he gets to decide/wield the squeaky hammer, WHEREUPON ‘yang-ge, three weeks ago you ate my yoghurt even though i specifically asked you not to, so...’ (whacks xy’s ass into next tuesday)

nice, sculpted shoulders make for very good pillows

MO XUANYU

a Baby, but watch out: a horny one. fully on board with xue yang’s Inappropriate Ideas Of Entertainment. there’s a video of them doing some Rather Dirty dance moves while meng yao and su she make pained faces in the bg

fashion king. make-up king. none of his selfies are bare-faced, he always has some red eye shadow/blue eyelashes/yellow blush/black lipstick going on. sometimes even at the same time. paints his nails and toenails as well. somehow yao-gege doing his make-up makes him fall asleep one minute in. (cute)

his sincere smile is a 100% foolproof way to just... melt everyone’s hearts. in wen ning’s case: with a smile as well. meng yao and su she: an eyeroll (fond). xue yang and wen chao: ‘oh, fuck you’. but it DOES

most of the time though when he does sajiao it’s totally weird. (on purpose, on purpose)

tiny boy. skinny boy. once he turned to the side and vanished. even though most of the time in videos the other members sooner or later end up giving him food! (at some point wen chao says ‘it’s so that you’d shut up’, causing a-yu to start talking animatedly, spitting crumbs into his tea. serves him right)

has a potential to end up as a vocal god. currently however his favourite method of doing things with his voice is SCREAM

famously examines what things are by putting them in his mouth/licking them. he is a little creacher. he cannot change this

bites

#shut up shrimp #ye..lls......... #some other time i'll have to write about what the other dudes are doing in this au #idol au

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

Good stuff from Dr. Jordan Peterson on the importance of reading and writing. Writing comes from problems, he argues, something I have heard mentioned in fiction advice, too. Find a problem, read about it, develop an opinion, and write. 

I also found it incredible when Dr. Peterson said he probably wrote every sentence in his first book 50 times. He advises budding writers to hone their words, which requires a constant process of rereading, re-analysing, and finding new methods of expression. 

Tapping into this would release new ideas we never thought possible and reach more people. 

Another great point from Dr. Peterson: writing will benefit everyone. He takes down people who diminish the importance of Humanities by pointing out that successful people in every field have benefited from being able to articulate themselves. Very often, they write. 

You do not need to be a full-time, published author to be a writer. Every profession can benefit. I have often been frustrated with what I now see as the mistaken divide between Humanities and Science subjects-- when in fact success in science examinations depended upon the clarity of expression as much as knowledge. 

Many famous writers have other jobs, including full-time jobs. We have to break apart this idea that writers are special people with talent who only produce stories. In fact, without writers, many industries would go kaputt. 

Highly recommend this and other videos from Dr. Peterson on the importance of writing and reading in our society. 

#write #read #writing #reading #drjordanpeterson #jordanpeterson #psychology #psychologist #university #writer #author #editing #words #wordcount #advice #inspirational #writingadvice #writingtechnique #writeblr

[daswarschonkaputt]

look don't leap (drabble)

fem!kinn/m!porsche | rating: t | words: ~600

The most disconcerting thing about hiring Porsche onto her team of bodyguards is that Kinn keeps catching herself looking.

so i was just minding my own business, enjoying a break from writing when @luckydragon10 appeared in my inbox and was like "het kinnporsche go write it now" and look i've mentioned before but nemi is chief squirrel wrangler she makes the decisions on what gets written not me, so i wrote it. ofc bc it's me i had to find a really queer way to do it, lol.

big caveat: this is not going to be for everyone. the main meat of this drabble is about fem!kinn trying to figure out what to do about the fact that she's attracted to one (1) man. it might make some people mad. you don't have to read it if you're gonna be one of those people.

that said, for those who might wanna read it, enjoy!

oh and if you need a visual for fem!kinn good news i already have fem!kinnporsche art here.

look don't leap

The most disconcerting thing about hiring Porsche onto her team of bodyguards is that Kinn keeps catching herself looking.

It’s not that Kinn hasn’t ever felt interest in men before. Compulsory heterosexuality being what it is, the ill-advised and ill-fated male crush is almost a rite of passage at this point, and Kinn suffered from a particularly foolish strain of it. To her teenage self, Tay was everything she wanted: clean, well-mannered, sweet, and above all pretty. He was also incredibly gay. Incredibly, obviously gay.

They dated for about three months, when they were sixteen. Then Kinn got drunk and fucked Tay’s older sister, and neither of them cared enough about the infidelity that continuing to date seemed like a good idea.

It’s one of those things that’s become a funny story. A joke that they tell when they’re tipsy. Time’s never found it funny, but Tay likes to say that Kinn’s the only person he’s dated that thought he was butch.

So, Kinn’s aware that men exist and she’s not totally incapable of finding some shred of them attractive – but it’s never been something that she’s given any weight to. She realised somewhere after the sixth delicately androgynous woman she fucked that the things she liked in Tay were just thing she likes in women, transposed onto her pretty, gender-indifferent best friend.

Porsche isn’t delicate. He’s not even slightly androgynous. He’s pretty, but it’s a decidedly male type of pretty – sculpted torso, cropped hair, the masculine curve to his lips.

He’s nothing like the girls she fucks.

And she wants him.

It’s unsettling.

Kinn’s not scared of him. She hasn’t been scared of a man since she shot her first one, and realised just how easily they die to a bullet through the skull. But the attraction niggles at the back of her brain, even when she should be thinking about anything but that.

There’s a part of her that wants to fuck Porsche, just to see what it would be like. It’s the part of her that gets interested in new cars and new watches – the part that wants to have something, just for the novelty of it. Kinn’s not going to have many chances to fuck a guy that she’s attracted to.

Another part of her is calculative about it. It’s the part that’s been trained to pull apart every situation until it’s stacked into rewards, risks and their mitigation strategies. Porsche is an employee of Kinn’s, and that’s not a line she’s ever crossed before. There’s an implicit power imbalance there, that Kinn isn’t entirely certain she cares about, whilst also not being entirely certain she doesn’t.

And—well. She’s a mafia heiress. As a woman, there are things she can’t do, simply because they’ll invite ridicule. Fucking women has allowed her a lot of respect that she wouldn’t otherwise get, in the mafia. Getting fucked is still seen as a submissive act – and for all her father’s friends sneer at her and call her butch, they listen to her more, because she doesn’t let men fuck her.

In a few years, Kinn knows she could weather the hit to reputation that would come from letting a bodyguard dick her down. Now, with her father’s health failing, and every eye on her, waiting for her to fuck up enough to justify a coup – it’s probably not the best time.

And on top of that, there’s a small, distant part of her that’s just… apprehensive. Kinn doesn’t know how to fuck men in a way that lets her feel in control. And Kinn doesn’t fuck anyone when she can’t be in control.

So, even though Kinn can’t stop herself looking – even though she can’t stop herself from thinking about it – she doesn’t act on it.

She can’t.

Then, there’s the diamond auction. And everything goes to shit.

#fic: look don't leap #fem!kinn #het!kinnporsche #kaputt writes stuff #i have no excuse #well my excuse is nemi #i can't believe the first time i wrote fem!kinnporsche it's het :') #now i'm expecting all of you to be adults abt this #i see one (1) biphobic take in my rbs i'm whipping out the block button #this is the first thing i've published in the new year lmao #kinnporsche fic

[daswarschonkaputt]

on the rocks ch 3

on the rocks chapter three is now live! chapters: 3/7 | rating: e | wordcount: 51k | ot3, canon divergence, kinn/porsche/tay

summary:

Tay finds the bar because he’s pissed, heart-broken, and sick of people recognising him when he’s trying to forget who he is. Or: A pre-canon AU where Tay goes drinking at Yok's bar, and meets Porsche far before Kinn ever does.

Last time: Tay takes Porsche out on a date, and they do the sex.

This time: Meeting the family, in all meanings.

#fic: on the rocks #kaputt writes stuff #kinnporsche fic #kinnporsche #kinnportay #special thanks to ruinconstellation for the beta #and also special thanks to nemi #thank you everyone who was so supportive of me during my slump era

[daswarschonkaputt]

what's your novel about?

in short? bi4bi in smalltown iowa in 2001 with ghosts.

in long? sebastian moore is the weird, morbid kid no-one in town wants to talk to. he's only got two friends, and only one of those is alive. his life isn't so much normal as it is mundane: a quiet, continual slog through the mores of public high school. the fact that he can see ghosts has long since passed remarkable for him -- they're not scary, and they're rarely driven to do more than pass on one last message before they fade away.

octavia "vee" caden is the newcomer in town: a rich heiress sent in exile to manage a local brickworks by her billionaire father. she spent most of the 90s keeping the chicago tabloid industry in business with her scandalous exploits, but after graduating college she's determined to prove herself a changed woman. strange things have followed her her entire life, but she's old enough to have moved past childish fantasies. ghosts aren't real.

when sebastian is targeted by a cruel hazing tradition at school, their lives collide. literally. because vee hits sebastian with her car.

there's just one more secret sebastian's been keeping: he cannot die. no matter what happens to him, he wakes up, fully healed, minutes later. if it's discovered, sebastian has no illusions of what will happen to him. he'll be torn apart for profit. this is the one thing he's most terrified of being found out.

unfortunately for him, vee's never been good at leaving well enough alone.

#kaputt writes stuff #the mysterious original project #this is the first time i've tried to type it all out lol so sorry that it's long

[daswarschonkaputt]

me, last night: huh, i have this weird a/b/o plot bunny idea involving betrothal contracts and indentity shenanigans. probably won’t write it though. me, this afternoon: spends two hours reading the thai legal code on marriages to figure out how the world building would work for the plot bunny

#kaputt writes stuff #a/b/o cw #omegaverse cw #kinnporsche #look i just thought it would be funny if i came up with a fic that had alpha!porsche pretending to be an omega #as a subversion of the omega-pretends-to-be-beta trope that i see so much #as nemi said: i do not have plot bunnies #i have plot kangaroos

[daswarschonkaputt]

thinking of posting a snippet from the secret project... if @luckydragon10 will let me...

#kaputt writes stuff #nemi owns all my soul #or at least some of it #we're at 10k now so i kind of want to share something with you #fic: on the rocks #kinnporsche fic

[daswarschonkaputt]

between the sheets by DasWarSchonKaputt

Fandom: Kinnporsche | Pairing: Kinn/Porsche | Rating: E | Length: 70k | Complete | fake dating/bodyguard au

“And who’s that?” “Oh. That’s Porsche. He’s Khun Kinn’s live-in boytoy. He’s harmless, mostly. Just a pretty face.” A boyfriend can go so many places a bodyguard can’t. As the threat of a potential leak in their security forces looms large, Khun Korn hatches a plot to place an added layer of protection around his heir presumptive. Enter Porsche, former bartender, current bodyguard, and reluctant fake boyfriend of Kinn Theerapanyakul.

The final chapter is here, folks! Thank you to everyone who waited patiently for it. And thank you to everyone who waited a little less patiently, too.

#fic: between the sheets #kaputt writes stuff #kinnporsche fic #this is the longest fic i have ever written #it's also the longest chapter of a fic too #anyway go enjoy!! #i worked hard on it #and so did my beta (thanks ru!!!!)

[daswarschonkaputt]

Someone talk me out of writing amnesia fic for kinnporsche

I'm shocked there's not more of it, this fandom is made for the trope

#status: still alive #kaputt writes stuff #i have a very specific brand of amnesia fic i like #where the character with amnesia pretends not to have amnesia #with variable success #encountered this trope in toaru and it's lived rent free in my brain since #but yeah #porsche gets amnesia and immediately pretends like he doesn't have it #everyone is convinced bar kinn #i also have an apias xover au which deploys this trope #highkey a favourite of mine

[daswarschonkaputt]

hmmmm, maybe rocks snippet? maybe. gotta write a cover letter first. but then. maybe.

#rocks ch 3 #kaputt writes stuff #fic: on the rocks

[daswarschonkaputt]

on the rocks ch 2

on the rocks chapter two is now live! chapters: 2/7 | rating: e | wordcount: 34k | ot3, canon divergence, kinn/porsche/tay

summary:

Tay finds the bar because he’s pissed, heart-broken, and sick of people recognising him when he’s trying to forget who he is. Or: A pre-canon AU where Tay goes drinking at Yok’s bar, and meets Porsche far before Kinn ever does.

Last time: Tay drowns his sorrows at Yok's bar, and gets well and truly caught up in Porsche's money troubles.

This time: Tay takes Porsche out on a date.

#fic: on the rocks #kaputt writes stuff #kinnporsche fic #kinnporsche #kinnportay #i kind of droppped the chapter and ran last night #i was so tired!!! #this chapter ended up being so long fml #next time: meeting the family #we're back to tay pov

[daswarschonkaputt]

Oooooh so many choices. And I'm torn between asking about mpreg kinnporsche and teenage Porsche! I mean, we don't want you tire yourself out but if you're up to a little titbit... Either?

okay well i have some good news, there is already mpreg kinnporsche content floating around on my blog. the not!fic is here, and i posted a snippet here a bit ago.

teenage porsche... okay so i started this not!fic when i was working on sheets chapter... probably six? i think. and then i got sick, and had to pivot to focus on finishing the fic, so the not!fic just sort of fell to the wayside. i do want to finish it, eventually.

essentially, there was a line in between the sheets about porsche at seventeen -- which was something like this:

Porsche isn’t without sympathy. In the grand scheme of things, Porsche generally wouldn’t pit a seventeen year-old orphan armed with cookware against an experienced bodyguard carrying a top-of-the-line fire arm—with the exception of himself, at seventeen. As a teenager, he’d been – as Yok once said – feral. Porsche maybe wouldn’t have been able to take down Pete, back then, but he’d have probably left the man with one less eye, and maybe a few missing fingers.

and this prompted my readers to tell me they'd pay good money to read feral 17 y/o porsche and 20 y/o kinn ruining each other. and i was like. damn. that's a good idea.

so: feral, angry-at-the-world teenage porsche thrown headfirst at deeply unhappy just-post-tawan kinn. that's the fic's idea.

i'll give you a snippet of the not!fic, but exercise caution. content warning for implied/referenced underage prostitution (no underage sex takes place). let me put it this way: reading this, the group chat complimented me on the knives. so. take that as you will.

the premise:

Porsche is 17 and angry at the world. It’s been about five and a half years since his parents died in a car accident, and the grief has had just enough time to stew into a futile kind of adolescent rage. The world is cruel and unfair, and Porsche is furious at it.

Porsche works two jobs – three, if you count competitive taekwondo, which you probably should – and attends school full-time, when he bothers to show up. His attendance is shit, his grades are barely acceptable, and he’s literally always broke. On top of that, about 80% of his spare energy on any given day has to go to persuading his little brother (Chay, 11) that absolutely nothing is wrong. His stress levels are through the fucking atmosphere.

Porsche attends a fancy private school on an athletics scholarship – which he really wouldn’t bother with, if not for the fact that his scholarship means that Chay also gets to go to school for free, in the attached junior school to his high school. Porsche has a quiet side hustle where he steals shit off his wealthy classmates and gives it to Uncle Thee to sell.

He has no friends, no support system, and the only person he talks with semi-regularly is his taekwondo coach, who thinks he’s cocky and lacking drive.

Recently, Porsche has taken to sneaking out of the house to take part in underground fighting matches. If he’s honest with himself, it has less to do with the money – which is… not bad, but honestly, not the best – than it does with giving Porsche an excuse to hit something until it just—stops. Porsche is scrappy – the kind of fighter who always gets back up, when you knock them down.

It’s the aftermath of one of these matches, when Porsche is staggering through the streets of Bangkok. He’s beat to shit, frankly – his ribs are definitely bruised, if not broken. His kidneys are aching in the way that means he’s going to be pissing blood for a week, or so. He’s just having an altogether bad time.

Porsche is heading for Yok’s bar – well aware that he can’t show up in need of medical help at home. Porsche doesn’t know Yok all that well, at this point, but she has an open door policy for him after she found him passed out on a bench outside her bar, once, and brought him in and patched him up. Yok’s the closest thing Porsche has to an adult he can count on, and he doesn’t even know her that well.

He takes a break on his trek to smoke a cigarette on a street corner – and that’s when he meets Kinn.

This is Kinn. 20 years old, university student, mafia heir. He’s fresh off the Tawan betrayal – cynical about love, cynical about people, and even a little cynical about his family. He’s floundering, and he’s in pain – he’s looking for whatever he can to erase it. Alcohol, sex, oblivion. He’s reckless with his security, because he doesn’t know if he wants them to keep him alive. Miserable and self-destructive. He’s wearing a silk shirt, unbuttoned to the navel, and he stumbles out of a nightclub door, to the sight of Porsche. Porsche is—well, he’s pretty. He wears seventeen with none of the awkwardness his peers do – Kinn looks at him, and he wants.

the meet not-at-all-cute:

Kinn: How much?

Porsche turns and looks at this rich asshole who’s just stumbled dead-drunk out of a nearby nightclub, who’s mistaken him for a whore and his immediate thought is, “Fuck this guy in particular.”

Kinn: Ten thousand?

Porsche gives him a withering look. Kinn misreads this.

Kinn: Fifty thousand?

Porsche puts out his cigarette, ready to fuck off.

Kinn: A hundred thousand?

Porsche pauses. And it’s—it’s awful, but here’s the thing: a hundred thousand baht is… That’s a years’ wages for Porsche and then some. With that much money, Porsche could probably even quit one of his jobs, maybe spend a bit more time with Chay.

It’s kind of shitty, to realise that you have a price. Porsche turns around at Kinn – this rich asshole, blind drunk, throwing around a hundred thousand baht on what he thinks is a street whore – and he thinks, Well.

Porsche: 150.

Kinn agrees. Porsche makes a little beckoning gesture, like, Hand over the cash, and Kinn’s like, “I’m going to have to go to an ATM first.”

You know what’s awkward? Standing next to the guy who’s bought you, as he withdraws the cash to pay you. Porsche rocks on his heels, asking himself, Am I really doing this?

Kinn has the money, and hands it over to Porsche. Porsche takes it, counts it, and does his best to pretend like this isn’t the most money he’s ever handled in his entire life. He puts it into his back pocket. Kinn looks at him like, Well? And Porsche is like, Yeah I’m going to pretend like I do this all the time.

He leads Kinn into an alleyway, and then Kinn kisses him. Porsche lets him, and then he drives his knee straight up into Kinn’s groin. Kinn makes a noise like he’s been shot, curling over in agony, taken completely off-guard. Porsche goes to run, with the cash, not expecting Kinn to get his feet under him and fight back.

It’s—brutal. Kinn is drunk, but also incredibly well-trained. By comparison, Porsche is sober, injured, and fucking feral. He comes out on top, but barely. He manages to knock Kinn out, and just stands there, breathing.

He looks down at Kinn on the ground and thinks, You know what? This fucker deserves this. And then he steals his watch, too.

after:

He manages to make it to Yok’s before the adrenaline wears off, but the weight of the 150,000 baht in his pocket is heavy, and he doesn’t go inside to ask for medical attention. Instead, he calls a taxi, and goes home to Chay and his uncle. Porsche gives his uncle the watch to sell, but doesn’t tell him about the cash, which he hides under a floorboard in his room.

Getting up the next morning is—weird. He feels like shit, but when he goes to check his hidey-hole, the money’s still there. His happiness is ruined when his brother comes into his room without knocking, and sees the awful bruising on his torso. Chay makes Porsche promise to go to the school nurse about it, and is generally just very fussy and worried about it all. Porsche capitulates easily.

Porsche spends the entire time at school waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it just—doesn’t. He gets home, the money’s still there. For the first time in nearly two years, he feels like he can breathe.

A week passes. Porsche begins to spend the money. He’s not profligate with it, or anything – but he buys a few things he might have put off. New shoes for Chay. Take-out for dinner one night. He gets on top of their bills and debts. Quits one of his jobs.

And then at school he’s called in to the headmaster’s office.

Headmaster is meeting with a fancy-pants donor who’s supposedly going to pay for a new scholarship at the school – and wants to meet the school’s most famous scholar, the national taekwondo champion. Mr Headmaster is basically tripping over himself to be nice to the donor – who turns around and smiles at Porsche.

It’s Kinn.

let the ruining commence:

This is so patently a power play that Porsche is almost pissed off about it – and the worst thing is that it still works, because Porsche is fucked. If Kinn tells the headmaster that Porsche scammed him out of a hundred grand, beat him up, and stole his watch – Porsche will lose his scholarship. Kinn is smug – he knows this.

Kinn executes a light bit of conversational manipulation to get the headmaster to leave him and Porsche alone. With the witness gone, the gloves come off.

Kinn: I have to say, I admire your bravery, if nothing else. It takes a particular kind of nerve to steal from me.

Porsche: I didn’t steal shit.

Kinn: [straightens his cuffs, just enough to draw attention to his watch, the one Porsche lifted off his unconscious body] What would you call the 150,000 baht of my money you ran off with, then?

Porsche: You gave that money to me.

Kinn: I gave you that money in exchange for a service to be rendered. That service did not include beating me unconscious and leaving me in an alleyway. I think we could make a case for breach of contract, at the very least.

Porsche: I didn’t sign shit, and I don’t owe you anything.

Porsche goes to leave, but Kinn catches his arm. Porsche throws off his touch.

Kinn: My money, Porsche.

Porsche: What about it?

Kinn: I’d like it back.

Porsche: I don’t have it anymore. [He goes to leave. Once again, Kinn stops him.]

Kinn: Then we have a problem.

Porsche: The only problem we’ll have is if you keep putting your hands where they don’t belong.

Kinn: The implicit contract was as follows: the money, in exchange for sex. As you have failed to uphold your end of the bargain, I’m going to have to ask for the return of the payment.

Porsche: I already told you, I don’t have the money anymore.

Kinn: Even gutter trash like you would struggle to spend 150,000 baht in one week. Return what you have.

Porsche: [Yeah, you know what? Fuck him.] I know your type – rich assholes who’ve never had to work a day in their life. Does your daddy know you spend his money on teenage rent boys?

Kinn: Is this a blackmail attempt?

The bastard sounds amused.

Porsche: Sure.

Kinn: Go ahead. Tell my father all about my twisted little proclivities. I think he’d be more appalled that I spent 150,000 baht on a mouthy little shit like you than the nature of my deviancy. [He steps aside from blocking the door.] My money, Porsche. You have 24 hours.

Porsche: Don’t call me, I’ll call you?

Kinn: Don’t get cute. [Hands Porsche a business card.] Call this number when you have the money. Someone will be by to pick it up.

Well, that’s Porsche’s day ruined.

Porsche thinks it over, and realises it’s probably just easiest to give Kinn back the 120,000 baht he still has from the affair. He goes back home and checks his hiding place, only to find it empty.

At first, he’s furious – he thinks that Kinn set all this up as some sort of twisted mind game. And then Uncle Thee comes shuffling in, surprised to see Porsche back from school so early. Porsche has this moment of hope.

Kinn had his watch back – which means that Arthee doesn’t have it. Did he manage to sell it? And Uncle Thee—hesitates. At which point, Porsche realises that Thee did manage to sell the watch, but something happened to the money. Which is that Thee gambled it away. He’d been trying to get a return on investment – but had lost big. He’d taken Porsche’s little money stash to the casino today to try and win back the money, but had lost that, as well.

Porsche stares at his uncle, and despairs. He’s—so completely devastated, and not even fucking surprised, that it wraps right back around to anger. He goes for Thee’s throat, throttling him, demanding to know what the fuck he was thinking—

At which point Chay gets home from school and pulls Porsche off their uncle. Chay’s mad at Porsche, without any of the context for why all this is happening, which makes Porsche even more upset. He storms out of the house, without thinking about where he’s going.

His feet take him to Yok’s bar, where Yok is accepting a delivery of alcohol. She sees him stood there, in his school uniform, after having trekked across Bangkok, and wordlessly takes him inside.

The entire story is too humiliating to tell Yok, so he lets out bits and pieces – that he owes someone a lot of money, that he had the money to pay them, and his uncle spent it all. He hands over the business card, which Yok inspects.

Bank, one of Yok’s bartenders, peeks at the card, and is like, “This is his card? This is really his card. Porsche, you’re fucked.” Cue a bit of background information about Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakul – and the extent of his family’s power. Bank is highkey amazed – how on earth did Porsche get tangled up with the mafia?

Yok’s immediate thought is that she can lend him the money. She asks how much it is, tells him he can work off the debt to her by washing glasses in her bar. But Porsche knows that 150,000 baht is too much for Yok – she doesn’t have that kind of money just lying around. He turns her down, tells her he can figure something out. Yok is hesitant, but Porsche is insistent.

the knives get worse:

Porsche leaves Yok’s bar, and calls the number on the card. He says he wants to talk about the debt in person.

Kinn sends a fancy car to pick him up. It’s driven by men in dark suits, who all look at Porsche like he’s gum they scraped off their shoe. Porsche gets in the car, and lets them take him to Kinn.

He’s taken to a fancy skyscraper in the centre of Bangkok. It’s all very grand, and Porsche feels like the worst kind of fraud, in his school uniform and ratty converse. He tries to pretend like the décor doesn’t get to him. He mostly succeeds.

Kinn is waiting for him in a fancy office. It has floor to ceiling windows and a light fitting that could be described as a chandelier. He looks up and down at Porsche.

Kinn: So, do you have something for me?

Porsche: [looks at the security detail] I’m not talking about this with them in the room.

Kinn: [pauses, considers] Big, leave.

Big: Khun Kinn—

Kinn: If he disables me, I’m sure you’ll catch him on the way out. Leave.

[They leave.]

Porsche: [clenches fists] You gave me the money for services to be rendered, right?

Kinn: I did.

Porsche: So if I rendered those services, I wouldn’t have to return it to you?

Kinn: [Eyebrows rise.] 150,000 baht in less than a week – quite the spending habit. What’s your poison? Drugs? Sex? Gambling?

Porsche flinches.

Kinn: Gambling. I see. But not you. The only risks you take are with your safety. A relative, then – probably not the baby brother. Your uncle?

Porsche: Do you want to fuck me or not?

Kinn: [Looks at Porsche.] I like my partners to enjoy themselves. I’m not convinced you would.

Porsche: [Clenches fists.] I can make nice. I can even moan your name, if you want me to.

Kinn: The last time I tried to fuck you, I ended up unconscious in an alleyway, missing my watch. I rarely make the same mistake twice. We’ll come up with an alternate repayment plan. [Calls out.] Big!

Big enters the room again.

Kinn: Take Porsche to Chan. Tell him to make him useful.

Porsche: I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me what’s going on.

Kinn: You sold me your body. Don’t get mad because I have other uses for it.

This statement makes Porsche think that Kinn is—pimping him out to whoever this Chan guy is, which is an awful realisation to have. Porsche considers running, before he spots the gun holster on every bodyguard around him. He’s fucked. He’s so very fucked.

Only—Chan doesn’t want to fuck him. In fact, Chan looks kind of pissed off about Porsche’s entire existence. Chan’s an older guy – middle-aged, but handsome – and he’s wearing the same suits and firearms routine as all the other bodyguards. He has Porsche fight against someone, and Porsche demonstrates that he’s scrappy, skilled, and absolutely impossible to keep down. Once Porsche has knocked the other guy down, Chan just sort of stands there, pinching his nose, like, Fantastic. Wonderful. Just what I want.

Chan then takes him to some sort of office? And has Porsche read and sign a contract – which is, to Porsche’s immediate relief, for a position as a part-time bodyguard. Then Chan drives him home.

Porsche started off the evening thinking he was going to lose his virginity to some rich asshole he scammed out of 150k baht. He’s ended it as a bodyguard working for the mafia. If he weren’t so fucking exhausted, he’d probably be more upset.

i have more, but i have to hold something back, you guys :P

#kaputt writes stuff #the teen porsche au #sorry for the subheadings tumblr apparently has a 4000 character limit on blocks? #idk #kinnporsche fic