Part 5 – Make things right.
Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader
Word Count: 2445.
You don’t remember a time in your life when the words ‘we need to talk’ coming out of your mom’s mouth, has ever made you shiver so badly in anticipation. After everything you’ve done, would they have nice things to say to you? Hardly possible.
“I, um, can-Can I, may I-” You look down at your hands. Your heart drops on your chest as soon as you do so. Vomit comes up from your stomach, and there’s no way to hold it down anymore, not when you see it. Not when it’s in your hands so well displayed every stupid mistake you have done just this day.
You run inside the house and into the bathroom before they have a chance to answer you. They don’t make a motion to stop you, nor do they run after you.
So, after you finally empty what was on your stomach, you take a shower to wash all the blood away and get into more comfortable clothes. Your suit is definitely ruined, there’s no way you can wash all that blood off.
When you make your way back to the living room, to find them both sitting in one couch, just waiting, you want to yell that you know.
You know what Kara is going to say.
Revenge isn’t the solution. You had yours. You stopped their plans. You hurt them like they’ve hurt you. Yet, nothing has brought you peace. On the contrary, right now you feel way more uneased than you were while laying on the bed of the DEO thinking about what happened.
You know what Lena’s going to say, as well.
You made mistakes. And a mistake doesn’t go away by making another one on top of it. And you added so many on top of your first one.
You sit in front of them in silence. You want to wait and see what they’ll say to you, but you are so ashamed of yourself, you need them to see it. You need them to understand that even if they forgive you just fine, you won’t forgive yourself. You need them to know your shame weights more than anything wrong that you did in your life before.
“I’m sorry.” You shoot out as soon as Kara opens her mouth. “I know. I know.” You stop her again. “I know it was a mistake, I know I shouldn’t have done it. I know I went to far and that revenge isn’t the solution. You were right. It was not the right thing, it didn’t resolve anything, and I feel so much worse than I felt before. I know I’ve let you down. You have every reason to be disappointed and upset. And I should’ve just asked for help. I should’ve-” You put your head down, wiping the insistent tears wetting your face. “I should’ve done things differently. And I’m so far from what people would expect from a Super, and I-I don’t deserve to wear your family’s crest on my chest.”
“Our family’s crest.” It’s what Kara says, finally, as a little whisper you catch regardless. You look up to them, expecting something more.
You don’t know what you’re expecting. Yells. Scolding lectures. Disappointment. Or maybe even understanding. Comfort. Relief. Whatever it is that is coming, you are ready for neither.
Kara and Lena look at each other, not sure what to say after your long monolog. You don’t think they were expecting you to own your mistakes. All of them, so bluntly and bravely like you just did.
“Do you have anything else you want to add?” Lena asks, and you bite your lower lip, thinking.
“I’m actually really sorry. And I realize there’s no use asking for forgiveness after doing something bad, because there’s no fixing what’s broken. And Rao, I know there’s no erasing what I’ve done no matter how hard I want to. I just hope-” You look at Kara. Your heart is pounding on your chest. “I hope someday you can look at me with anything other than disappointment in your eyes.”
Kara’s mouth falls agape while she touches her face trying to fix the glasses that aren’t there. “I’m not-” She tries. “Disappointed.”
“You might wanna tell your face that.”
“I’m just-I’m just having a hard time seeing you, that’s all.” She explains it, but it doesn’t say much. In fact, it tells you almost nothing. “You did things I would never expect from you.”
Your heart drops, along with your composure. As you curl yourself on the couch, feeling even more pain than before, tears spring from your eyes.
“And I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I might not know you as well as I thought I did.”
You swallow deep. Feeling your heart shattering in your chest. You knew this conversation would hurt you, but you didn’t expect for it to destroy you.
“I just- I need a little-” Kara gets up from the couch and leave the room before she finishes the sentence. Space. Time. Whatever it is that she needs, it hurts you.
You look at Lena, chewing your mouth so hard, to stop yourself from crying out loud. Lena stands up too, and you hide your face in your hands knowing she will follow after Kara and leave you alone. You don’t expect to have her wrapping her arms around you, instead.
“Mistakes were made.” She sighs, holding you close to her chest. “You owned them. Apologized and learned big and important lessons.” She holds your face, making you look at her. “Let them go.”
“Don’t hold them close to you. You will drive yourself insane if you do so. Just learn from it, vow to yourself never to make them again, and move forward.” Lena kisses your forehead lovingly. “I love you. And we’re going to talk more about the fact that you grew up, but not now. Now, you need to rest, ok?”
“Mom?” You look up to where you know Kara is, by the sound of her steps on the floor, that only you can hear.
But Lena seems to understand you just fine when she says, “Give her time. She’ll come around.”
You don’t want to give Kara time. You want to follow her around until she realizes you’re still the same. You haven’t changed because you went rogue.
You do what Lena said, instead. You go to your room so you can rest after one of the longest days of your life. It comes as no surprise at all, the fact that you can’t. Can’t close your eyes, can’t rest, can’t think, can’t even breathe.
So you listen to their heavy breathings, Kara’s low snores, and look at your phone. You already went rogue. Keep going or make things right? You decide to keep going and sneak out the window.
“Holy shit! It’s you!” Jamie says, hands on her chest, the minute she sees you outside her window. “I almost crapped my pants.”
“Didn’t know I was that ugly.” You joke, as she opens the window, and you sneak in.
“You didn’t? Someone’s been lying to you.” She bickers back, pushing your shoulder with hers. “So, what brings you in?”
“Can’t sleep.” You sigh. Jamie just stares at you, knowing there’s more to it. “Kara’s mad at me. Or disappointed, I don’t know. It’s bad.”
“Huh.” She furrows her brows. “Why? Did you kill someone?”
She means it as a joke. But her smile slowly dies in her lips when you don’t answer her.
“Oh my god, you killed someone?”
“No. I didn’t kill.” You throw yourself on her bed and grunt in frustration. “It was close, though.”
“Oh.” She sits on her bed staring at you with wide eyes.
“What? Are you mad at me too?” You roll around in her bed, so you can look at her.
“No. I’m just surprised, ok?” You roll your eyes at her. Yes, you do like the fact that she didn’t expect that from you. Because you didn’t expect it, as well. But still, surprise feels painful too. “What stopped you?”
“She did. One time. And the other one, Maya.”
“Somehow.” You shrug. “Yeah.”
“And what is it that is keeping you up at night? Guilt for starting it or guilt for not finishing it?”
“What do you think?”
“I rather not take guesses right now. Besides, mami says the first step to dealing with the-”
“Rao, I really do not need a therapist right now.”
“Ok.” Jamie sighs. “What do you need?”
“I don’t know.” You growl. But you do know. “I need my momma to understand that just because I went too far this time, it doesn’t mean I’ll always do it. Or just because I made one wrong call, I’m not a totally different person for it.”
“I can’t give you that.” She lays on the other side of her pillow, holds your hand, and breathes out. “I can give you understanding silence.”
“That works too.”
And with understanding silence, a slightly small bed for two people to sleep in, and Jamie’s hand on yours, you find a little bit of relief. So you sleep.
“JAMIE!” Sam pounds at her door, and you both jump scared with your eyes wide open. “Get up! Your cousin is missing!”
“Really?” She looks at you, rolling her eyes.
“Godmother!” You call her, and Sam opens the door to see you sitting on Jamie’s bed, with bed hair and sleep still on your eyes.
“Oh thank God!” Sam comes closer to pull you into an awkward/relieved hug. “You’re here. Oh, God. You’re safe.” She lets you go a little. “ALEX! SHE’S HERE!”
Alex rushes to Jamie’s bedroom door, and her face is also so relieved when she sees you. She doesn’t say anything, but you see her quickly making a call. She steps away from the door, but you can still hear her perfectly,
“Lena. She’s here. She slept here in Jamie's room. I guess she came in late at night and we didn’t see her.”
“She slept at Alex’s.” You hear your mom repeating on the other side. Hopefully to Kara. “Thanks Alex. We’re on our way to pick her up.”
“Ok.” Alex turns off the phone and comes back to the door. You try to look at her between Sam’s hair, while she hugs you even tighter now. “Let’s have breakfast.”
They try to act normal, but things feel weird. There’s no scolding for not telling your mothers where you were going. There’s just chewing sounds and awkward looks. You try shoving the thoughts away, like you’re doing with the pancakes in front of you, but at one point, it just becomes too much.
“What?” You push your empty plate on the table. “What is it that the both of you aren’t saying?”
“Yeah, but that’s not normal.” You sigh. “Last week you gave me a ten-minute speech because I ran too fast in the L Corp’s hallways.” You raise your eyebrow at Sam. “You’ve been mummying me ever since I was six. So, I’m sorry if I find it hard to believe that you have nothing to say.”
Sam sighs with her hands on the forehead. “You’re not a kid anymore.”
“Will that ever stop you from mummying me?”
Sam’s face to you it’s a mix of emotions. She opens her mouth to argue, then closes when she realizes you’re right. Then she breathes out, hardens her features, and you smile knowing what is to come.
“Yeah, you’re right. It won’t.” You smile harder, while Jamie rolls her eyes.
“Can’t believe you’re asking for it.” She mumbles next to you, and gets up, making her way to the kitchen to leave the line of fire.
“You say you’re not a kid anymore, then you sneak out the window and don’t tell anyone about it! Everyone was worried sick and WHY are you smiling like that? Do you like when we almost have heart attacks wondering what happened to you?”
“No.” You fight the smile. “But I love that you care.”
“Of course I care!” Sam reaches for your hand, squeezing it on top of the table. “I love you with my last breath, munchkin. But don’t think for a second this will get you out of this lecture!”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
You hear when the doorbell rings, when Lena comes in, you see her from the corner of your eyes, but you don’t make a motion to leave, while Sam goes on and on about the fact that if you want to be treated like a grown-up, you have to act like one. And not just by using your powers, but also by not leaving them worried to death. Lena doesn’t chime in, but you know she’ll have more to say on the way home.
So, fifteen minutes later, when Sam finally ends her long rant with an ‘I love you’, Lena makes you thank everyone and get in the car.
“Don’t apologize.” She says as soon as you open your mouth. “Let me guess, you didn’t want us to worry?”
“Well, that’s a fun way of showing it, don’t you think?” She asks, not looking at you, and you sigh into the passenger window, also looking outside.
“At least you worried.” You mumble.
“Oh, so that’s what this is about?” Lena finally turns her head at you, stopping the car on the side of the street. She grabs your face, holding your chin, making you look at her. “You’re trying to get Kara’s attention?”
“I told you to just give her time.”
“What if I can’t wait?” You chew the inside of your mouth. “What if I need her attention now?”
“Well, that’s not how you’re going to get it.” Lena lets go of your face and starts driving again. “In fact, you might be driving her farther away.”
You sit in silence and on her words all the way back home. It’s only when she parks in the driveway that you speak again.
“I’m sorry I made you worry.”
“Ok. You’re still grounded.” Lena raises one eyebrow at you. “You’re lucky your godmother already gave you a badass scold, or you’d be getting one right now.”
“It was badass.” You agree, getting out of the car. “Room?”
She nods and you get inside the house. Kara is in the kitchen, eating. She doesn’t raise her head when you pass her, and your heart sinks down a little lower when you realize Lena was right. You’re driving her even farther away.