#kaz hisses at people

[amsgrey]

he just sounds like that

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader (established relationship)

synopsis: Arrogance has no place on a job, but you let it lower your guard. You pay the price, but Kaz helps bring you back.

I kind of like merging Book/Show Kaz and trying to keep accurate to his mannerisms and humour etc so hopefully this is good. I came about this idea after thinking about this scene from TLOU and how Kaz most definitely had an asshole voice. Also, I will probably make a few parts/drabbles about Kaz x Inferni Reader, because I love Kaz no apologies.

Warnings: Mentions of Slavery, reader reliving her time as a slave (briefly), Mentions of scars of wrists from slavery chains etc, A fumbley understanding of the technology of the time and inferni powers (it's been so long since I read the books)

Getting split from the other crows was distressing, but there was nothing you could do about that now. You and Kaz just had to keep going, trying to work your way back to the rendezvous point.

"Tell me again why you thought this would work," You hissed to Kaz, who had been leading you in a circle for what felt like forever.

Kaz gave you an irritated glare, "It did work."

You scoffed, "Yeah, that's why we're lost in this saints forsaken mansion."

Kaz let out an exasperated sigh, "Are you done?"

You and Kaz had known each other for years, the entire time you'd known each other you bantered like this. Kaz would act all irritated and stern, but you knew he silently liked the way you could relieve tension and make even him crack a smile. As the only two Crows born and raised in the farmlands of Kerch, you shared a different connection. You had found each other before The Barrel knew Kaz as the force he was now. Kaz had saved you from Slavers and convinced you to join the Dregs, helping you find a life without fear.

Since then, you followed him through everything, which at this current moment, meant even through the merchant's maze of a mansion. Nina, Matthias and Wylan were somewhere outside, waiting for you, Kaz, Inej and Jesper to get what you were after and meet them. You wondered if they would be growing impatient yet, you were late, which almost never happened on a job with Kaz.

The job had started off as most others, breaking in was always the easy part. You had been privy to Kaz's plans, watching him study a map of the mansion for weeks before he committed to the job. He knew the place like the back of his hand, but he didn't know the extent of the new security measures the merch had introduced.

You and Jesper dawdled behind Inej and Kaz as they led the group through the halls. Occasionally Jesper would pause at a painting or display piece and make comments about its ugliness or stupidity.

The last painting he'd criticized was of an older man, dressed in a bright blue kefta with red embroidery. Jesper had caught your sleeve and pointed it out to you, "Looks like the merch has inferni ancestor."

You had screwed your nose up at the portrait, "I thought he was Kaelish?"

"He is," Kaz said, already at the end of the hall with Inej. He was waiting for the two of you to catch up, like a boy calling his dogs home.

Walking through the mansion felt surreal, mostly because you hadn't been to many places with such decadent displays of wealth. The four of you could move through the hallways unnoticed because the Merch and his family were out at the theatre - or whatever it was rich people did in Ketterdam on Sunday Nights. He had brought most of his guards and men with him, leaving the halls silent and unpatrolled. Kaz had called him an arrogant fool, to declare his mansion impenetrable and then take all his men out to prove it. There was no place able to keep out Dirtyhands, especially not when he had his crows by his side.

Thinking back on it you realized how you all had been too arrogant, thinking this job was in and out, easy. You'd let your guard down - something Kaz warned you to never do in this city - and now you were paying the price.

Everything went wrong when you and Kaz finally found what you were looking for - the merch's family jewel, a sapphire embedded in rich Kealish gold. You had easily broken through the fabrikator-made lock, it might have been made by a Grisha but it couldn't hold up against a Grisha. Especially not one who could melt metal with the same ease as cutting pastry. Kaz had reached for the jewels, as soon as he lifted it off the display the room filled with an ominous hum. Like the sound of a machine slowly whirring to life.

Kaz had pocketed the jewels, grabbing your forearm and tugging you along behind him as he went for the door Jesper and Inej were guarding. Before you could make it metal bars slid down over the doorway. You had tried to use your small science to melt the metal, even Jesper tried to budge it, but nothing worked. Kaz ordered Inej and Jesper to find their own way out as alarms chimed, directing you back through the room to another exit.

You had followed behind him willingly, knowing he knew the way around the mansion. You'd been irritated to learn how wrong you were, Kaz knew the layout of the mansion but the Merch had updated the floorplan. Clearly, another Fabrikator addition to hinder thieves.

"Wait," Kaz held up his hand and you barrelled straight into his back at the sudden halt, "Do you hear that?"

Footsteps.

"Back," Kaz whispered, ushering you back the way you had come.

You got to the end of the hall before you heard more bodies approaching, you were surrounded. Immediately you went to the window, trying to pull at the latch and open it. It didn't work, but you could see light dancing on the tree line.

"Kaz," You called, "Look."

You both squinted into the dark, trying to distinguish who it was in the woods. You saw the glint of steel, like someone was spinning a revolver.

"It's Jesper."

The footsteps were getting louder, there was no way you and Kaz could get out of this on your own.

"Step back," You struck your flint, the sparks allowing you to create a ball of flame. You concentrated it as small as it would allow, pressing your palms against the window until cracks started forming. After a few more seconds the pane shattered, sending the shards falling to the ground below. You were on the second floor, even if you wanted to jump there was no way you and Kaz would be able to land safely. You settled for sending up a burst of flames, Jesper and the others would be on the lookout for it, your SOS symbol.

"Stop!" Someone shouted and all hell broke loose.

You and Kaz fought well side by side, you both knew each other's moves, working in tandem to take down opponents. It looked like you might win for a little while, then a woman rounded the corner with her hands pressed together. Heartrender, you realized it too late.

You were woken suddenly, like your heart was all of a sudden coming back to life. You gasped and spluttered, lungs burning. Your hands were bound above your head, separated by a thick metal rod so that you couldn't summon. Already you could feel the ache in your shoulders, hanging from your arms was something you had been used to when you were a slave. Now, you had to fight back the panic that tried to grip your heart.

You struggled to find your footing for a moment, but eventually managed to stand up enough to take the strain off of your wrists.

Kaz.

Where was Kaz?

"Look, Brekker. Your girls fine."

You squinted to find where the voice was coming from, finding the source across the room. Kaz was standing opposite a burly man nearly a foot taller than him. Kaz's face was bloody and bruised, but he had murder in his eyes. You could see it, feel it, all the way across the room. You realized it wasn't just Kaz and the merchant; the other crows were there too. Inej held a blade against the heartrenders throat from earlier, who had both her hands held far apart to show her cooperation. Jesper was not too far away, his pistols in hand as he stared down a man who stood in between you and him.

What did I miss?

"No harm was done," The merchant continued, his voice thick with a Kaelish accent, "What do you say we part ways, unharmed."

Kaz's face didn't change, "Sure."

The Merchant frowned, a glimpse of fear breaking through his resolve, "I don't like your tone, boy."

"He always sounds like that," Jesper joked, glancing at you.

"He has an asshole voice," You agreed. Not two nights ago you and Jesper had been saying the same thing to Matthias at the Slat. You and Jesper enjoyed teasing the Fjerdan, especially regarding Kaz and his 'demjin' ways.

Kaz looked amused, he had the Merchant in the palm of his hand. "Go. Before I change my mind."

The Merchant almost tripped as he ran away, not even stopping for his Heartrender and right-hand man who followed behind him just as quick.

With the immediate threat gone, you felt your resolve begin to crumble. You had to get out of these chains. They would rub your wrists every time you moved, bringing you straight back to your past.

"Stop moving," An older woman had warned you, "It hurts less."

She was probably right, but you were too terrified to listen. Hours ago you were playing on your family's farm, but now you were chained to the roof in a dark, damp cellar. The chains were rusted and coarse, they rubbed the skin around your wrists raw, leaving cuts and grazes everywhere they pressed.

You were only eight, by far the youngest of all the slaves in the cellar. The chains they used to bind you didn't have cuffs, the slavers had just looped the links around your wrists and locked them tight. All you felt was the pain and the fear. All of this because you were Grisha? You only just learned of your power as an Inferni, how could you be worth anything?

The older woman tried to console you, doing her best to quell your tears and sobs, but even she knew the horrors that awaited you. The horrors you would spend years fighting to escape.

"Y/N," Kaz's voice was soft, he stood in front of you, supporting your weight as Jesper worked on freeing your hands from the chains. "Stay here."

You knew he was trying, you could see his own emotions clawing at him. It was one of the things that bound you and Kaz together, the demons of your past. You understood what it was like to fear touch and he understood what it was like to be betrayed. You helped each other, through the flashbacks and nightmares. You two didn't have anyone else, so you fought to have each other.

When Jesper finally broke through the chains, you lurched forward unexpectedly. Kaz held you tighter, trying to keep you upright even with his bad leg. You stood up, holding your hands out to balance yourself.

'I'm okay," You lied, trying to avoid Jesper and Inej's worried glances, "We should get out of here."

Back at the Slat, you sat staring at your cup of cocoa. Nina had made it for you as her way of trying to help, she could hear that your heartbeat hadn't stopped racing since leaving the job.

Jesper and Wylan had offered you gentle conversation, but you couldn't hold it for long. You had claimed you were tired, bidding your friends goodnight and climbing the stairs to your room. You didn't stop at your floor. Your feet carried you further up the steep stairs, stopping when you reached the attic which Kaz had converted into his own room. You didn't have to knock, you just opened the door and announced yourself.

Behind closed doors, Kaz was less concerned about keeping up his Dirtyhands persona. He smiled ever so slightly as you sat on his bed. A few months ago you had forced him to rearrange his room so that you could see him working while you lounged on his bed. You often ended up like this, watching him work after long days and taking comfort in each other's presence.

This time, Kaz wasn't concerned with his papers, he just looked at you, waiting for you to talk. You had talked Kaz through his own episodes many times, you never pushed him or asked him to move quicker than he was ready. For the first time, Kaz wanted to offer you the same comfort, but he wasn't sure if he could.

You were rubbing your wrists, stuck in your own memories of your time chained.

Kaz slowly joined you, giving you time to pull away. You glanced over at him, watching him as he slowly removed his gloves.

"Kaz-"

Kaz shook his head to silence you, continuing what he was doing. He placed his gloves neatly on the bedside table, turning to you. He reached out slowly and you let him. He gently pried your fingers away from your wrist, taking your hands in his own. He turned your palms up, his fingers slowly ghosting over the scars on your skin.

Kaz could feel the warmth of your skin through his fingertips. It helped him fight off the flashbacks, the warmth reminding him you were safe, healthy, alive.

Kaz's fingers traced over a scar on your right thumb. You couldn't help the small sigh that escaped your lips.

Kaz's head snapped up to look at you, fear filling his eyes.

"I'm okay," You meant it this time. The flashbacks were gone, locked in the vault in the back of your mind.

Kaz could tell that you meant it, see the anxiety leave your face. He drew his hands back, reaching for his gloves again. You smiled at him as he slipped his hands back into them, the leather bringing him the comfort he needed.

Kaz offered you a quiet apology.

"Kaz," You couldn't help the adoring smile on your face, "It's okay."

You knew Kaz could handle contact more when his gloves were on, so you gently took his hand. Kaz watched as you copied his movements from earlier, gently opening up his fingers. You slowly raised his hand, pressing a gentle kiss to his palm.

"I love you," You said, "Gloves and all."

Kaz smiled, a genuine smile that you only saw in the safety of these four walls.

He let out a quiet reply, "I love you too."

#six of crows #kaz brekker #six of crows x reader #the crows #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz and jesper #jesper fahey #six of crows jesper #wylan hendriks #jesper x wylan #wesper #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik #crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone s2 #shadow and bone s2 spoilers #pekka rollins #kaz dirtyhands brekker #bastard of the barrel #sab s2 spoilers #sab s2 #sab

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

hi! i would like to request kaz brekker x fem!reader where kaz is feeling a lot of pain on his bad leg and reader massages it for him. established relationship please. thank you in advance!

The salve

You could tell that Kaz’s leg had been bothering him for a while now. With the weather changing and the rain pouring down for the second week now, the humidity was atrocious for joints. So Kaz limped and grunted through it. Being in a way worse mood than usual. Meaning that everyone who was around him was catching a handful of snarky remarks for anything. Even breathing too loudly.

You gathered a play of food for him downstairs adding extras so you both could share. He hadn’t been down even once today. Kaz said he was just busy with work but you could tell from the way he was tossing and turning the previous night. He simply couldn’t walk downstairs. The pain had gotten that bad but of course he didn’t show it. His cold mask didn’t slip even once.

Pushing the door open with your hip you walked into your shared room. Smiling at him the moment your eyes locked. Kaz’s eyes caught that spark too but his face stayed stone cold. “You didn’t need to bring it up”, he grunted, turning a page over. “But I did”, you chirped in response, moving to yank that same document out of his grip as you lowered the plate in its place, “Push the chair back and eat”.

Kaz frowned slightly. “Also, take your pants off”, you add with a wave of your hand. “You are confusing me, woman. Why would I eat dinner without my pants?”, Kaz huffed, snatching a piece of roasted potatoe. “Kaz Brekker take your pants off”, you said firmly once more. Keeping his gaze. “Multitasking has never been my favorite thing”, he huffed in frustration but still stood with a grunt, holding onto a table for support. Stoping to breathe. “Let me help you”, you reach for the zipper but he bats your hands away. “I’m not some immobile fool”, he hisses in annoyance. “Kaz, you might think that you can fool me but you’re an idiot here”, you catch his hand placing it on the table so he can hold his weight up while you undo his pants with ease.

“It doesn’t even hurt”, he argues but you only lift your eyebrow at him as you look up at him, “Fine, maybe a little but I don’t need you undressing me”. You only hum as you guide him back down into the chair. Those couple minutes alone were enough to make sweat break out on his forehead. You reach into your pocket, the metal jar of salve gleaming in the low light.

“Where did you get that?”, Kaz asks firmly and you know that you didn’t even need to answer. He knows himself. The stamp on the lid says enough. “Don’t tell me that you went there without me knowing”, you can hear the frustration in his tone. The slumps here had been crowding with new arrivals lately. Arrivals that had been enjoying killing people as of late so Kaz had forbidden you to go there.

“It was quick”, you breathe out, warming the mixture between your fingers. “They can also kill you quickly. Asked for that too?”, Kaz grunted but your fingers pressed on his legs, and his whole body went ridged. “Fuck”, he hissed. “I’m sorry”, you pushed your finger into the knots and stiff muscles. Feeling it gives in. “This will help. The healers are from my old village. You’ll be able to walk tomorrow”, muttering you continued to work your hands all over.

“Not worth it if it puts you in danger”, Kaz argued, his head lulled back. “I would do it again”, you shrugged. “That’s the scary part”, he turned to look at you. The tension in his body already melting away. “Any better?”, you question him, moving to bend his leg through the knee a couple of times. “I would say yes but because you were reckless, I’ll say no”, the side of his lips turned upward and you bit your lip, “What I shame, guess I’ll have to massage your legs some more”, “Guess so”, Kaz shrugged, reaching for a piece of meat pie before guiding the fork to your lips.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x oc #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker six of crows #the six of crows x reader #the six of crows imagine #the six of crows #the six of crows x oc

[notelcol]

The Getaway🐦‍⬛

That Kaz x reader hurt/comfort that was voted in by some lovely people❤️

Mildly edited, apologies for mistakes🫶

The wind blew harshly against your body as you ran through Ketterdam with a stolen scroll in your hand. Your felt like you were flying. Grinning, you turned towards the man who ran a step behind you. His face matched yours. A wicked joy had you both feeling more alive than ever. You had just pulled a small heist, now it was your favourite part. The getaway.

A few more turnings through the winding streets and you would be at the switch point. There, you would meet Inej and she would disappear with the loot, while Jesper shoots the men chasing you. That was the plan at least…When you and Kaz finally skidded to a halt at your location, you both looked up at the rooftops for Inej.

“Where is she?” Kaz hissed. You looked back down the road you had come from.

“Where’s the men?” You realised they should have caught up by now. Slow footsteps began to echo, coming from a nearby turning. You whipped your head around to see the man you just stole from. He grinned menacingly before pulling out a gun. Kaz clocked it before you did but before he could even take a step towards you, the shot rang out. The scroll fell from your hand and rolled down the street, towards the shooter.

“I’ll have that back now, thank you.” He said, all too politely. Then, he simply walked away while whistling a jaunty tune.

The shock wore off, as the whistling became quieter. Then came the pain. You held your hand against your stomach, only to be met with a wet warmth. Reality truly hit you when you looked down at your hand and saw the blood. All of a sudden you could feel it trickling down from your stomach until it fell in a pool on the floor. You looked to Kaz for reassurance, only to see him white as a sheet inching towards you terror.

“You need to apply pressure.” He instructed. You complied, but each second you felt as though you were fading. Until, you dropped.

“HEY!” Kaz shouted desperately poking you with his cane. “Stay awake and keep applying pressure. Inej and Jesper will be here, they are just held up.” He hoped they would come. A situation like this is the only time Kaz feels useless.

Your eyes started to roll as your vision became blurry. You tried to keep pressing on your wound but your hands wouldn’t listen to you. As your fingers fell beside you once again, you felt a hard pressure against your stomach. You knew you were delirious when you saw Kaz kneeling at your side, keeping your blood inside your body, allowing you to close your eyes at last. Kaz himself was beginning to feel like he was dreaming too. The last time he had pushed his hair out of his face, your blood on his gloves ran up his arm beneath his sleeve. The wet sensation combined with the coldness of your body under his hands was all too familiar.

Kaz wanted nothing more than to sink his memories forever. But they kept surfacing to matter how hard he tried to focus on you. A scream ripped from his throat as he punched himself in the head, as if trying to evict the distraction of his childhood trauma. His eyes fell upon your face as he told himself this isn’t Jordie. You were still alive, at least you would be as long as he could keep himself together. He pressed more confidently against the wound at he thought of losing you, his partner in crime. He never expected to trust someone enough to call them that. He had his Crows, but never a partner. Not until you. Not since Jordie. A tear fell from his cheek onto yours as he stared down at your paling features.

He barely even noticed Inej’s arrival. It was shortly followed by Jesper’s much louder one.

“Sorry! We got held up by-“ Jesper froze when he saw the scene before him, then released a breath when he saw your chest rising.

“Shit. We need to get them back home.” Jesper jumped straight into action, less cautious to approach Kaz than Inej was. He took over Kaz’ position at your side and picked you up.

You woke up to a deep ache, causing you to groan and roll over. The movement changed the pain to a searing stab.

“FUCKING HELL!!!” You screamed.

“Good morning to you too.” Kaz’ made his presence in the room known to you. He was sat at the side of your bed smirking at you.

“I take it the men who were supposed to be chasing us are why Inej and Jesper were late?” You asked. Kaz answered you with only a nod, leaving you still concerned for your friends. Your rolled your eyes as sat up, this time sure to move slower. It did not help much, still feeling like you were being ripped open. You felt Kaz’ cane press against your chest gently.

“Lay down.” He sternly told you. You looked up at him in defiance but stopped when you saw his eyes. “Please.” His tone was more vulnerable this time, small like a whisper. You allowed his cane to push you back down, not missing the sadness in his eyes as a groan escaped you.

“I’m okay.” You sent him a comforting smile, which he returned.

“So are Inej and Jesper.”

Kaz had been in and out of your room all day in between handling business.

“I just came to say goodnight.” He said, though he seemed as though he was holding back. You decided not to pry, since you did not have the energy to get blood from a stone tonight.

“Goodnight Kaz.” You smiled. He turned to leave, looking almost disappointed. Then out of nowhere, he rushed back in and stopped when he reached your bedside. He looked deep into your eyes. The intensity woke your drowsy mind as your heart skipped a beat. “You are very special to me. Today was…” He trailed off and looked away. You thought he was about to turn around and leave again, but instead he sucked in a deep breath and quickly pressed a kiss to your forehead. As his lips met your skin, he lingered for a second. This was the closest you had ever felt to him. Not because of the physical contact though. It was rare for Kaz let someone see him feel. It felt intimate. But it was over as fast as it began.

“Goodnight.” He said once more, but this time he was breathless and shaking in a mix of fear and something else that he was finally ready to name.

“I love you.” He spoke. Before you could process the interaction, he was gone.

——-

Thank you for reading 🌹

#shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #kaz #kaz brekker hurt/comfort #kaz x y/n #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz dirtyhands brekker #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker angst #kaz hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #light angst #angst #writing #x reader #fanfic #soc #six of crows #inej gafha #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #grishaverse #grisha

[auroravictorium]

bigger than the whole sky (k.b.)

every single thing to come has turned into ashes.

Summary: pekka rollins' plan is revealed when reader is kidnapped on a job and taken to an unknown location; inej and jesper have to break the news.

Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship) Word Count: ~2.4k Warnings: violence [reader is knocked out and kidnapped], use of weapons [jesper's gun, inej's knives], poor proofreading oops Genre: angst

Author's Note: hello hello!! here is the next part of midnights - to my new readers (and there's a lot of you, hi!!!), i highly recommend at least reading from midnight rain onward to understand the backstory behind what happens in this chapter! happy reading loves <3 next part coming sooooooooon (w lots of kaz anger/violence/being dirtyhands)

You scaled the side of the bank, hissing through your teeth as the wind whistled past you and threatened to disrupt your balance. The tips of your fingers were rubbed raw and bloody from scrabbling for handholds, and your toes ached in your boots. Still, you scrambled to get to the dark window on the third floor of the building; when your fingers made contact with the windowsill, you sighed in relief.

Inej was watching the perimeter from the rooftop, as she could move the fastest to alert you or Jesper to trouble. Meanwhile, Jesper was on the first floor babbling with a Stadwatch officer to delay his patrol throughout the bank. 

You slowly eased the window upward, hoping to prevent it from screeching and attracting attention. To your relief, the window moved seamlessly, allowing you to slip inside and pull it shut behind you. You took a moment to adjust to being on solid ground again and let your heart stop pounding in your ears; crouching, you pressed your palm to the plush carpeted floor and let a breath slowly pass your lips. You hated heights, but you fought hard to be on this job. Still, you couldn't help but think, I'm making Jesper scale a building next time. It was far past his turn to have to cheat gravity.

Once the wind was no longer rushing in your ears and your pulse had calmed, you straightened up and moved to the oak cabinet in the corner. You needed three files on wealthy merchants with connections to Pekka Rollins. With no indication of what Rollins was planning to do next, Kaz had tentatively focused on crippling Dime Lion businesses by cutting off the supply of the goods needed to keep them successfully operating. 

It was risky for you to get the files on people connected to Pekka Rollins, but you were tired of being on the bench; you could only do so many pickpocketing jobs or shifts in the Crow Club before you started getting frustrated and feeling like you weren't contributing to the Dregs. Though Kaz understood, it had taken a minor before he relented on the condition that you were in and out as soon as possible. No detours, no meandering along the East Stave. And if a Dime Lion showed their face, you had to drop the files and run.

You knew you had until about sunrise before Kaz thought you'd been captured and burned the city down. You'd be surprised if he wasn't already searching for the matches.

You dug through the messy files in the cabinet before finding the first of the three names. One down. You slipped the papers from the file and rolled them up to stuff in the inside pocket of your coat. They were bulky and dug into your ribs, but you needed your hands to climb down.

The hairs on your neck prickled, lifting despite the warmth in the room, and your fingers slowed their sifting. You turned your head, your gaze scanning the dark room for a figure, movement, or any sign of what had made you uneasy. 

Everything was quiet and still; the only light came from a street lamp outside. It occasionally flickered from the breeze, casting dancing shadows across the pale office walls. That did nothing to ease your sudden nerves, and you only started to work through the files faster. I need to get out of here.

Something hissed near the door, like one of Wylan's bombs being lit. Except Wylan wasn't here, and only a fool would bring a bomb into one of the wealthiest banks in Ketterdam.

You spun toward the sound, losing interest in the files and drawing your pistol. It wasn't the most subtle or quiet weapon, but it felt secure in your hand. You felt slightly safer with a gun outstretched; all you had to do was pull the trigger.

There was nothing by or on the door except for the waltzing shadows of a candlestick and a pen sticking out of a jar of ink. Your eyes narrowed, and you took a careful step forward. The floorboard creaked beneath your boot, and you halted, peering through the darkness.

White smoke seeped under the door and curled upward. It swirled in a draft that shouldn't be in the room, twisting and writhing toward you. An abnormally sweet scent hit your nose, and your head started to spin. The room wobbled and twirled, or maybe that was you when you stumbled back against the desk in your haste to get to the window. 

Someone knew you were here.

"Jesper! Inej!" you shouted, feeling the desk's surface beneath your palms as you scrambled over it. The jar of ink shattered against the floor, dark liquid soaking into the plush carpet. If your shout didn't get their attention, maybe the clattering of your attempted escape would.

Your knee slammed against the desk chair as your coordination failed. Your movement turned sluggish, and your muscles ached as you tried to push them to move faster. Somehow, you felt your way to the window but couldn't force your arms to open it. They hung limply at your sides, unresponsive to your pleading to move.

"Jes! Inej!" you tried again, but your voice was too quiet. It wouldn't carry up or down; maybe you hadn't even spoken louder than a whisper. "Help."

Your vision blurred, and the world flipped on its axis. 

The ink-stained carpet caught you as your knees gave out. Your pistol slipped from your hands, your traitorous fingers loosening their grip. It thumped uselessly beside you. You tried to reach for it, but you couldn't move, couldn't do anything as three muscled figures creaked open the door and stepped inside.

Their faces were covered by masks, painted like grotesque creatures that sent fear crawling down your spine. These were not Dime Lions. They had too much pride to cover their faces when attacking.

Mercenaries.

"Grab her," one said, the man with the brightest, most absurd mask. His voice was abnormally warbled and deep. You blinked hazily at him, and your lips wouldn't cooperate with your mind as you tried to tell them not to touch you. Your arms remained bound at your sides, though you longed to swing them up at their throats. But they wouldn't listen, and one threw you over his shoulder.

Kaz, you thought, as if he could hear you despite the stillness of your lips. Your eyes drooped despite your battle against the violent unconsciousness trying to take you. Kaz.

The last thing you felt was the world swinging beneath you as the men carried you off through a servants' passage, down a narrow stairwell, and into a howling, blurred night.

-

Inej peered down from the bank's roof, watching for a sign of any Stadwatch or alarm amongst passersby. The Financial District was completely and utterly still, illuminated by moonlight and half-dead lampposts.

A door slammed on the furthest side of the bank, and Inej heard boots hitting the cobbled ground. She turned, rushing to the rooftop's edge and expecting to see Jesper with a Stadwatch officer or three behind him. Instead, she saw three men sprinting down the alleyway, a limp form swinging over one's shoulder. They sprinted down the street toward a carriage waiting at the corner beneath an extinguished lamppost.

Horror washed over her, and she swung over the roof's edge, starting to climb down. Her usual composure disappeared, replaced by the scrambling and fumbling of panic, sending mortar and splinters falling to the alleyway below in her haste to follow her friend.

"Y/N!" someone shouted, sprinting out of the building through the front doors. It was Jesper, but there was no Stadwatch. He'd left him behind to take his patrol when he saw the men escaping with his best friend.

Jesper nearly careened into a lamppost as he skidded to a stop and drew his pistols, aiming at the man lagging behind the other two. But the man took a spot behind the man carrying Y/N, seemingly aware of Jesper's plan, and Jes knew he couldn't take a lethal shot without risking hitting Y/N. 

He fired at the man's leg, piercing his thigh and sending him crumpling to the ground. But the man leading the escape lagged behind and pulled the injured one to his feet, hauling him along. They'd planned this. They knew everything, including how each would respond.

Inej appeared beside Jesper, panting from her frantic descent from the roof, but she didn't wait to catch her breath; she ran after the mercenaries, her boots pounding against the sidewalk and her daggers appearing in her hands. She launched one through the air as the men jumped into the waiting carriage. It clattered against the carriage door, and she gritted her teeth in fury.

"Damn it!" Jesper bellowed, catching up to Inej and repeatedly firing at the carriage as it started to pull away. Bullets pierced the back and hit the wheels, but nothing could be done; the carriage pulled away, taking the mercenaries and Y/N with it. "Sons of-"

Inej pressed a hand to Jesper's forearm. "We need to get back to the Slat and talk to Kaz," she said firmly. "Now."

"But they have Y/N! Shouldn't we follow them?" Jesper waved his hand wildly in the direction the carriage had gone. 

"With what carriage, Jesper? What horse? We certainly can't follow them on foot." Inej turned and pulled Jesper along with her. Her steps were quick, and she led him out of the financial district and across the bridge into the Barrel as fast as she could. "Kaz will make a plan."

"By the time we get to the Slat, they could be long gone. Who knows where they're taking her?" Jesper protested, but he hurried alongside Inej. Soon, his long strides overtook hers, and Inej had to rush to keep up with him. "Kaz's plan will be razing the damn city, which won't help unless she's still in the city."

"Stop talking, Jesper," Inej hissed as they entered the crowded boulevard along the East Stave. She nimbly worked her way through the crowd and burst into a sprint the second the Slat came into view. 

The two of them darted up the steps into the building, and Jesper only cursed a few Saints as one of the rotted wooden steps collapsed on itself on their way to the attic. He shook off the splinters and followed Inej straight into Kaz's office, where he was sitting at his desk and looking over financial documents.

He looked up as they burst through the door, chests heaving and eyes alight with panic. "What?" He looked between the two of them. Two. 

Kaz lowered the parchment he was looking over, and a nagging, painful feeling settled on the nape of his neck. His pulse started to hammer in his ears, but he continued, hoping he was wrong as he took in the panicked expressions on Inej and Jesper's faces. "Where's Y/N?"

"Dime Lions," Jesper breathed. "Grabbed her while she was searching for the files." He ran a hand over his mouth, feeling like he might vomit as a sinking feeling settled on his stomach. This was what Kaz had feared. Kaz had trusted him to help keep Y/N safe, and Jesper knew he had failed him. Jesper placed his hands on his hips and started to pace, unable to stay still. "Took off to the south in a carriage." 

He plopped in the seat across from Kaz and hid his face in his hands. 

"Mercenaries," Inej corrected and glanced at Jesper, a knowing look in her eyes. She felt the same, having been on the rooftop and looking over the city while Y/N climbed up the building and looked through the office. "They wore decorated masks. Dime Lions don't do that."

Kaz went terrifyingly still. When Inej looked at him, her fingers curling around one of the blades at her side for comfort, she could have mistaken him as one of the statue performers along the East Stave during the summertime. It was as if marble crept over his skin and locked him in place.

He didn't so much as breathe.

Jesper peeked over his fingertips at Kaz, holding his breath as he waited for hell to break loose. "Boss?" he said nervously. He waved a hand in front of Kaz's face.

Kaz finally spoke, his voice so dangerously quiet that Inej knew the city could quite possibly be on fire come morning. Dawn would arrive to find the city already awash in red and orange, buildings licked by flames, and the sky darkened by smoke. 

"Go downstairs," was all Kaz said, and he didn't have to repeat himself. Jesper stood and went for the door, taking his hat in his hands and twirling it around his fingers. 

Jes didn't think Kaz would appreciate an apology, nor did he think he could formulate one as a lump formed in his throat. He kept his gaze on the ground as he slipped out of Kaz's office, and he didn't even curse as another rotten stair gave out on his way down.

Inej dared to linger, looking over Kaz's face as it flickered between a facade of calm and a look of pure murder. His expression didn't scare her, but she knew Y/N's kidnappers and the Dime Lions should be. If Pekka Rollins wasn't the key to discovering where Y/N would be taken, Inej knew Kaz would finally kill him. That much was clear.

"Should I gather the others?" Inej said quietly. She moved toward the door, ready to go the second she received an answer. Y/N did not have time for Inej to process the guilt resting heavily on her lungs. The mercenaries would not wait to do something to her if they hadn't already. She needed to move now and find out where her friend had been taken. 

Kaz's chin dipped almost imperceptibly in a nod, and Inej spun on her heel and left. She gently shut the door behind her.

Despite her forced calm, she couldn't help but flinch as the door rattled in its frame behind her, and a loud thump echoed down the hall. She picked up her pace to catch up with Jesper, hurrying downstairs after him to summon the Crows.

TAGLIST: @tonberry-yoda, @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r, @futurecorps3, @statsvitenskap, @sapphiccloud, @casualladyinternet, @d34drapunzel, @noctemys, @whitejxsmine, @so6, @franzelt, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @marlene-the-witch, @thestudiouswanderer

#kaz brekker #crooked kingdom #six of crows #six of crows duology #kaz brekker x reader #kazzle dazzle #soc kaz #soc fanfic #soc inej #soc nina #nina zenik #jesper fahey #soc jesper #shadow and bone #the grishaverse #shadow and bone season 2 #sab season 2 #grishaverse fanfic #freddy carter #the crows #inej ghafa #inej my queen #midnights but make it kaz brekker #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x you #matthias helvar #soc matthias #wylan van eck #soc wylan #sab season two

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Fire and Rain [K. B.]

Kaz Brekker x inferni!fem!reader

word count: 4k

summary: Kaz discovers that a member of his team is in a Grisha (again)

warnings: here Kaz has no romantic feelings for Inej, it doesn't have a specific time in the canon.

A/N: an anonymous asked for this and I hope whoever you are likes it! I also decided to add a crime to contribute to the plot. It's short, but with love

taglist: @rustyyyyspoonz @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

You were sitting on the roof of The Slat, feeling the night breeze ruffling your skirt and looking at all the lights spread across The Barrel.

You liked to go up there to think or just hang out when everything else got annoying or boring, as was the case that night. Most of them were busy at the club and although you had been invited, you didn't feel like being surrounded by many people, so you had apologized saying that you would return home earlier. And when you arrived, almost like on autopilot, you were done there. God knows how many hours you'd already have in that position.

"Don't be scared" you heard a voice, almost in your ear. Contrary to what they had asked you, you gave a start and almost fell into the void, if it weren't for the arms that held you to keep you in your place "What did I just tell you?" You heard that they claimed you and when you looked around you recognized that the raspy voice was Kaz’s.

"Don't you get tired of doing that?" you hissed, quite annoyed that the same situation always presented itself. You heard him let out a mocking hum and then he sat down next to you, but with his feet facing the inside and not the outside of the building.

"Why do you always come here?" he muttered.

The relationship that existed between him and you was quite curious. Kaz had practically, like most of your friends, rescued you from the streets, offering you a place to stay in exchange for your help in most of his plans. You arrived shortly before Wylan and after Inej and Jesper, but for unknown reasons you had won the affection of the black-haired man faster than any of them, and over the years he was able to open up while he enjoyed your company. Even now, he was looking for you like he didn't for anyone else.

"Is it a crime?" you teased, with a small smile, as you watched his windblown dark hair fall on his forehead. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t enjoy being with him, probably more than with any other crow, because although he was your boss you had also come to find a friend in him.

"If you fall and die, I'll have to pay someone to clean the street" he snorted and you opened your mouth pretending to be outraged, even though you knew he didn't mean it.

You didn't answer anything to that and he didn't want to say anything else, so you guys stayed looking at the horizon for another while. Well, actually you were looking at the horizon while Kaz was looking at you.

He never thought he felt towards someone the way he felt towards you, because you had something that he couldn't explain that he had been captivated from the first time he saw you. It was well known that he was very reserved and that he had a curious collection of traumatic events that had prevented him so far from having any affective relationship beyond the brotherly feeling he experienced for Jesper or Inej, and even some paternity towards Wylan, however, he wouldn’t classify what he felt for you as something of that nature. A clear sign of this was that he was getting physically close to you of his own free will. With you it seemed to be something natural, even pleasant most of the times, and even he himself couldn't understand how he didn't hate physical contact with you. But things went beyond that; Kaz felt like he could be someone else when he was with you. He felt as if in your eyes he was not the ruthless killer that the entire Barrel feared, nor a scared boy, nor a liar, he was just the Kaz who liked to drink tea in the afternoon, who appreciated art in all its expressions, who could openly worry about banal things and the one who wasn’t ashamed to go looking for you for no reason, only with the motivation of not being alone. Maybe that's what it was all about, that Kaz not only didn't want to be alone, but he wanted to be with you.

Although absolutely no one could know this or they would have to be threatened with death.

"Have you thought of an answer about the deal she proposed to us yet?" You murmured and when you turned you noticed that Kaz was standing up a bit in his place to hide where his eyes had been.

"Huh, yeah. I will accept, the money will come in handy"

It turns out that a very wealthy woman had requested your services to recover a jewel from her family that her ex-husband had taken from her when they separated, one that was very valuable and old, but above all with enough sentimental value for the lady willing to pay much of her fortune. Kaz had even scoffed at how feelings could turn into kruge under the right circumstances.

“Have you told the others yet?”

"No. This job is for us. You and me" he said seriously, making you frown in confusion "But the money will be for everyone"

"So I work and the others get the credit?"

“Too many people will draw attention. You are better than the others at these things” he argued “Besides… I heard that this man has many more treasures in his collection than him. If you feel disadvantaged, you can take whatever you want."

"How thoughtful" you mocked "I've always wanted a tiara, like the ones for princesses"

“If he has it, it's yours,” he replied, apparently not understanding your sarcasm, as he shrugged, “It'll be tomorrow night. Get ready”

"Fine," you said in the same way. Your feet danced back and forth, until a hand on your knee made you stop abruptly.

"And please get down from there, you make me nervous"

You tried to think of an intelligent response, but being honest the momentary closeness with the man caught you off guard and left you speechless. He was looking at you with that always angry expression but also with some concern.

"We are crows" you exclaimed, when you were finally able to speak, while you listened to him and moved your legs inside the roof. Kaz straightened up as soon as he detected that you were going to do it, so when you stood up your face was a little lower than his "If I fall, I'll just fly" you laughed, totally nonchalant "Good night, boss" you said goodbye and then walked inside The Slat to try to sleep.

The following night you were ready at the agreed time, just as he had asked you, but with a bad feeling haunting you since you had left home. Kaz had told you that he would stay outside keeping watch, as he wouldn't be of much help to the robbery either way, assuring you that he would only be going in and out; simple.

Of course, once you were there it was hard not to be gawked at everything that guy had. You were very surprised that someone else hadn't already stolen it, but you also concluded that probably most of those pieces were temporary until he found the best buyer and after taking some jewelry that you liked, you concentrated on finding your goal, which was a necklace encrusted with sapphires running the length of the chain, with a centerpiece larger than the rest. You looked around the room, there were all kinds of precious stones, rubies, amethysts, emeralds, set in many different things, but what caught your attention the most, without a doubt, was the thin gold tiara studded with what you hoped were diamonds. Would you be too greedy to want to take that one?

You took it and put it in your bag, but a few seconds later you heard a noise coming from the entrance. In panic you began to search for the necklace you had entered in the first place and barely managed to put it away when a person appeared.

"Hey, you!" the man who appeared to be a bodyguard yelled at you.

A chase broke out and you ran after Kaz hoping he had some plan. You didn't see him in the same place as before and your blood ran cold, but this lasted no more than a brief moment before a gloved hand grabbed yours to pull you away.

You didn't even know how Kaz was running, but you were also impressed by the way he decided to run. You were getting winded with every step and you had to hold on tight to keep from tripping and falling as he pushed people out of the way with his stick. At some point in The Barrel you finally lost sight of the thug and just to avoid taking any chances he threw you into a dark alley, pinning your body against a wall. You didn't even dare to breathe and I could feel your whole body vibrating from the excitement of having run so much, the adrenaline of almost getting caught, and the nerves from having Kaz so close to you. He had been so worried that you two wouldn't be discovered that he didn't notice the horrible burning in his leg or the contact with you until he stopped, but not only was that, but he also experienced again the sensation that had him intrigued from a long time ago. He had never dared to hold your hand, it was something unthinkable under normal circumstances, but now that he had done it even with the gloves he could feel your body temperature.

You were warm, you weren't like the corpses he remembered every time he touched someone else's skin. And it wasn't just your hand that felt that way.

"You're hot," he spoke, making you choke on your own saliva as he stepped away from you.

"Sorry?" you exclaimed, completely stunned by the idea that he was flirting. Where the hell had that come from anyway? You didn't understand what he meant until Kaz reached over to grab your wrist and lift your hand in his direction.

"Your hands, they feel like they burn"

Oh, shit.

To be honest, you were very surprised that with the man's intelligence and deductive abilities, he hadn't discovered your secret before. You and your family found out that you were a grisha tragically when, by accident, you badly burned your younger brother, who luckily and with the help of your mother was able to recover. Your father wasn’t very happy about this, so your powers were always a reason for his repudiation and shame for you.

You grew up mistreated by your father and feared by your brother, with your mother hardly daring to help you change the feelings of either of them, so thinking about proving that you were Inferni was the last thing you wanted.

One day your father just got fed up and threw you out on the streets like a helpless animal, forcing you to beg for weeks until the bastard took pity on you. Those weeks you had hardly any problems with your abilities, using them only when it was a life-or-death situation, so when you joined the crows you developed into more criminal fields that even with that you still considered less dangerous for yourself and others.

Only your family knew about your condition, for you always feared that if anyone else found out about it they would try to kill you or send you to Ravka, and that had worked for you so far. You were never tempted to tell any member of the group, not even as a joke, and you thought that information would accompany you to the grave. But you never counted on Kaz’s cunning.

You couldn't answer his question because of a bullet noise that resounded near you, apparently you hadn't hidden very well from those men who were chasing you and a few seconds later you had to separate from him to start fighting. In the dark you couldn't tell who you were fighting with, although you could feel the blows crashing against most of your body and you were thankful that they hadn't hit you with any of the guns or knives yet. Through it all you could tell that Kaz was having a worse time than you, but he was definitely handling it better.

You knocked out a guy with a good knuckle-burning punch, and thinking it was the last one, you turned to look for your boss, but instead of looking at him you took a punch that knocked you to the ground.

"Bitch," roared a tall man with a knife in his hand, who was on top of you before you could move. For the first time that night you panicked and yelled for help, but no one answered. He was ready to drive the knife through your chest, but you could stop him, using practically all your strength to face him. After struggling for a while, you managed to throw the weapon away and then only he and you were left, however the man wasted no time so he took his hands directly to your neck. It didn't take long for you to lack air and although you tried to free yourself, all effort was useless; it was obvious that he surpassed you in every way. An idea struck you, and hoping that would work, you clasped your hands together to cause a flame good enough to burn him to ashes. Your fingers lit up and you were about to plunge them into his eyes when suddenly a sharp object hit the man's temple, pulling him away from your body and killing him instantly.

You breathed violently in search of the air you had been deprived of and still gripped by fear you looked up to face whoever was there. It was Kaz. His face was smeared with blood and he looked hurt on one side by the hand he had on it, but other than that he was fine.

“Idiots…” he hissed, sneering at the bodies strewn around the alley and spitting up a combination of saliva and blood. You were still struggling a bit to breathe when he offered you a hand to get you up, which you didn't hesitate to take, but as you did so his glove scorched a little on the inside. If Kaz had been suspicious before now he had a verdict on your situation “An Inferni?”

"I don't know what you're talking about" you said in a raspy voice due to the attack, trying to avoid the subject, while you rubbed the palms of your hands on your sides to clean them and also try to control your body temperature. Many times, since you never received training, strong emotions could be triggers for your power.

He didn't answer, he just looked at you with raised eyebrows and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Let's go then" he informed you and you followed him towards the exit, knowing that he would not forget the matter so easily.

The delivery of the necklace was a complete success and the woman burst into tears as soon as she got it back, so you had to go comfort her before she thought of throwing herself into Kaz’s arms. Everyone was very happy with the payment, which you gladly delivered, and the extra things you had stolen for yourself were kept in your drawer for a couple of days so as not to create discord. When you finally reviewed them, you realized how beautiful your new treasures were and you were surprised to remember that you had taken a special little thing for a certain person.

"Come in, Y/N" Kaz's voice said from inside his room, for he could recognize each of you by the sound of your footsteps and the way you knocked on the door. The night was already falling and you guys had taken a break from being in the club.

"Look at this" you exclaimed with a smile from ear to ear. Kaz looked up from the documents he was writing to find you wearing a light orange dress the likes of which he had never seen before, and a tiara that sparkled against the candlelight in the room "Don't I look like royalty?" you joked, making an exaggerated pose.

"I'm glad to see you got something good out of it"

"And I have something for you" you carefully took a jewel from your pocket and maintaining the dramatic air you got on one knee in front of Kaz, which made him back in his chair. He was about to ask what you were doing when you offered him a beautiful silver ring with a square emerald in the middle. He frowned at you and you wished you could figure out what was going through his head.

“What is this?” 

“What does it look like? a ring, of course”

"Do I have to use it?"

"It would be nice" you smiled. The idea that if someone walked in, they would think you were proposing to him amused you greatly "But if you want you can sell it, whatever makes you feel better"

He turned a little in the chair so he could face you and you held your breath when you saw that he was taking off his gloves, because you had never seen Kaz's hands. When he finished you watched him carefully; they were thin and without a single mark that stained their white skin. They could easily be the hands of a Greek marble sculpture.

"Give it to me," he asked you. You deposited the piece in his outstretched palm and before you had time to react he locked your fingers in his hand, almost making you cry out in astonishment. "Are your hands always warm or only when you're nervous?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. He had set you up and you had so much to process that the question had caught you off guard.

"Why do you keep thinking about it?"

“Why hide what you are? All the Grisha seem eager to be recognized”

"Well, not me," you said immediately, getting up from your place to avoid the conversation. You suddenly felt bad for interrupting and you felt ridiculous wearing the crown on your head.

"I've always been terrified of water, you know?" he exclaimed, capturing your attention, but not enough for you to look at him "But fire... I find it fascinating”

The color rose to your cheeks as if the flames within you had literally decided to focus there and you stood very still, fearing that making any movement would expose you.

“I didn’t grow up in that little palace. I'm not a Grisha, I'm just… just me. And I don't want others to see me differently or point at me in the streets. I don't want them to fear me"

"Wouldn't that be an advantage?"

“Even if they are the people I love? My family? Do you think I like living in fear of hurting one of you because I don't know how to control myself?" you said seriously. You were remembering your past and your brother, but he couldn't know it, just as you couldn't know that Kaz was also thinking about his own brother.

"If I hadn't been there to kill that man, would you have used your skills?" he exclaimed. The answer was obvious, so you decided not to answer “You limit your potential just because you are afraid. You would be much better if you trained properly”

"Better for the team?"

“Better for yourself. Inej has her knives, Jesper the guns, how are you going to defend yourself when one of us is not with you?” he was looking at you seriously, but also with a trace of concern. Kaz's intentions in being harsh with you were always for you to improve, they were always looking for your entire well-being and for you to be able to face the world alone “Nina can help you if I ask her. But in the end, it's your decision."

You remained silent and unconsciously began to play with your hands, a little nervous. You had never thought of taking that matter seriously, but now that he was suggesting it you were wondering how good an idea it would be and for a second you considered it a positive thing. A part of you wanted to impress not only Kaz, but your friends as well, and you knew that handling it might help you heal the wounds you were carrying from the past.

“I don't know…” you started to say, hoping that as you did so more words would spring up to complete the sentence, however, they never came because you simply didn't know what to do; no more no less.

He was watching you from his chair with what you thought was a look of disappointment, but actually other ideas were going through the black-haired man's head. As I said before, he had never seen you wearing a dress and although he didn't have a great sense of fashion he knew for a fact that warm colors were your colors. Everything about you was like that to him, long before he even knew that you were literally warm by birth as Inferni and maybe his feelings for you were clouding his perception, but to him you glowed wherever you appeared.

“Would you have preferred growing up in Ravka? Grow up away from all… this?” he said, his voice sounding raspier when he spoke softly.

“Like a Grisha? No. Like a princess? Maybe” you joked to lighten the mood. Kaz rolled his eyes and shook his head at that, but you couldn't deny there was a hint of amusement in his expression.

"Why did you take this for me?" he said, finally paying attention to your gift, apparently with genuine interest.

“I think the color green goes with you. And you like expensive things”

“Gloves are going to cover it up”

"Alright. That way only we will know it's there” you said.

He smiled.

"And you? Do you intend to stay like this for the rest of the week or will you take that off?”

"Right now I'm going to Jesper's room to show off a bit and then I'll probably take it off” 

“It was a good choice” he flattered you and for some reason you thought that he wasn't just referring to jewelry.

You were silent for a few seconds and in this same way you saw the man put the ring on the middle finger of his left hand, and then put both gloves back on. What you said was true, no one else would know that under the leather there was a piece that kept the memory of that night and at the same time the secret that he kept for you.

“I think I should go. I don't want to interrupt, huh, whatever you're doing."

“Good luck with Jesper”

"He is going to die of envy" you laughed and noticed that his eyes were gently observing you "Rest"

Kaz saw you walk out the door and then he thought he might get back to his business, but he couldn't concentrate after your visit. He took off his gloves and looked at your gift for a long time: what did that mean? It was a very pretty piece that fits perfectly, but... What did it symbolize?

Resigned that he wouldn't go any further, even if he wanted to, he left his room and walked up to the roof to get some fresh air, imagining for a moment that even he might find you there. It wasn't like that, so he just stared at the buildings in silence.

Kaz began to think about your friendly smile when you visited him that day, your recurring pranks, worse than others, and your fear of hurting others. For hurting the ones you loved, you said exactly. Did that include him too?

He didn't know how long he was there, silent, his mind only wandering on matters related to you. But, in the end, he was clear that if someone could one day make his frozen heart burn with affection, it would surely be you.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #the crows #six of crows #jesper fahey #inej gafha #wylan van eck #nina zenik #mathias helvar #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine

[syllvane]

something about strays- kaz brekker x reader

a/n: based off of a request! pre-established relationship between kaz and reader.

You find him when you’re coming home from a job - Kaz and Jesper are a couple paces behind you and Inej is on the rooftops, shadowing the three of you - when you hear a noise from the alleyway, catching your attention.

He’s all bones, his ribs visible from under his black fur, pale green eyes staring at you from within the darkness.

As soon as you lay your eyes on him, you know that you’re going to help this animal to the best of your ability.

You step into the darkness, kneeling down and offering your hand out to him.

“Everything okay?” Jesper called out and you didn’t respond, doing your best not to startle the cat any more than it already was.

You held out your hand, motioning for the others to stay a good distance away.

“There’s a cat.” You said calmly and the two sets of footsteps stopped.

“And?” Kaz said and you turned around to look at him.

“I want to bring him home.”

“No.” Kaz said without hesitation, continuing to walk past you. “We don’t need another mouth to feed.”

“You’re one of the richest men in Ketterdam, Kaz, what’s one cat?” You shot back and he didn’t say anything, not even turning around to look at you.

Jesper stopped, giving you a sympathetic look.

“I guess even dating the boss has its limits.”

Kaz looked back at Jesper, shooting him a dirty looked before continuing along.

“He just needs a chance to warm up to the cat- I mean look at him, isn’t he adorable?”

“He’s covered with fleas and is bone-thin.”

“He’s had a tough life.” You said, unable to take your eyes off of the creature. “Do you have any food on you?”

Jesper patted his pockets.

“Nope.”

“If I give you some kruge, will you go fetch me some food? Either some fish or something?”

Jesper paused.

“You really care about it this much?”

You looked away from the stray for a second, looking at the departing figure of Kaz Brekker.

“I’ve always had a fondness for strays, I suppose.” You said before turning back to the cat in front of you, who promptly hissed. “Will you do it?”

“Of course. Don’t… don’t worry about the kruge. You’ve covered me more times than I can count, I’ll get this one.”

You turned and looked at him gratefully, settling down on the damp cobblestones a couple feet away from the cat.

Whoever had once cared for the cat, if anyone had ever cared for the cat, had left him behind long ago.

He was thin and even from a couple feet away, you could tell that there was no fat on his bones, only lean muscle.

More than anything, it seemed to tolerate your presence out of mere curiosity, presumably not used to people sitting down across from it and just observing it.

Footsteps broke the relative silence of Ketterdam and you turned around slightly to see Jesper walking back towards you, brown paper bag in hand.

“Hey- here is the food, it’s a fish sandwich. It should be okay for the little guy to eat, but the vendor wasn’t completely sure.” Jesper said, taking a couple more steps before kneeling down besides you, handing the bag to you.

Any interest the cat had in Jesper or you disappeared as soon as it smelled the food inside the paper bag, nose twitching and all attention turned to figuring out how to obtain the food.

You took half of the sandwich out and carefully unwrapped it from the paper.

You stretched out closer towards the cat, causing it to backpedal and hiss at you, before you set the half down and returned to your original position.

He looked at you and Jesper unsure, as if this was some kind of trick or like you were going to reach back out and try to grab him.

“Let’s move back a little.” You said and you scooted backwards and Jesper stood up slowly and backed away, doing his best to look dignified.

The cat, more confident, took a couple of cautious steps forward before snatching the sandwich and pulling back, only green eyes visible in the darkness of the alleyway.

You set down the other half of the sandwich before standing up, offering a hand to Jesper.

“Let’s come back tomorrow, I think our friend has had enough of us tonight.”

“What are you gonna call him? I’m sure Kaz would love if you named it after him.”

You rolled your eyes, walking away from the alley with Jesper's arm slung around your shoulder.

“I was thinking Crow,”

“Mmm, I do like that.” Jesper said thoughtfully, the two of you continuing to walk back to the Slat.

You find the car in the same alleyway the next few days and eventually he stops hissing everytime you offer it food- by the fourth day, Crow eats the fish before you can even place it on the ground.

On the fifth day, it starts following you back to the Slat.

Nina takes care of the fleas, stopping their hearts in exchange for helping her convince Kaz of something, and soon the only one who hasn’t been won over by Crow is Kaz.

“He does look much better than when we first saw him, I’ll give you that at least.” He said, observing the cat with remarkable apathy. “Is it really worth it? All the time and effort you’ve put into caring for him?”

Crow hissed at Kaz, brushing against your legs. Kaz made a scary face at the cat in retaliation. You nearly choked on your laughter.

“Saints, I sure know how to pick them.” You shook your head, a smile on your face. You absentmindedly reached out for Kaz before catching yourself, remembering. “Yes, he is worth it. He’ll scratch my arms up and will break out of the Slat, but I’d still choose him.”

I’d still choose you.

He looked at you, piercing blue eyes meeting yours, searching for something.

He looked down at Crow and then back at you before nodding once.

“Okay. I’ll try. Only for you.” Your expression softened into a smile and he didn’t acknowledge it, never knew how to acknowledge it. “Now we should probably get some proper food for it, as well as a litter box and a bed.”

He started to walk away, Crow following him and you just stood there, half-shocked.

He turned back to look at you, no trace of the gentleness from moments before.

“Are you coming?”

“Yeah. Just… yeah.”

#six of crows imagines #six of crows imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader

[writing-havoc]

Shattered Paintings

♡ Summary: Your first kiss shared with The Kaz Brekker

♡ Pairing(s): Kaz Brekker x Reader

♡ Fandom: Six of Crows

♡ Warning(s): None

♡ WC: 3.4k

Even more Kaz. He's just a very neat character. He's got so many layers that are fun to peel back and try and piece together with others. Lemme know what you think. Hope you like it <3

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Kaz's heavy footsteps fell behind you as you ran down the wet stones of the Zelver District. Jesper would be making his way back to the Slat utilizing his own route whilst Inej followed from above, keeping an eye out for anybody who managed to follow you guys out.

"Left." Kaz called, and you hooked a left immediately down a path between two houses. It was small and a few things blocked a clear path, but it was manageable to get around with the speed you set.

You were about to pop out of the otherside when a hand grabbed the back of your jacket, yanking you back and down to the ground between a few tins of garbage and an empty overturned crate of who knows what.

You almost jabbed your elbow into the gut of whoever grabbed you until you seen the crow head of a cane in front of you.

"Easy there. Need those." Kaz's gravely cadence immediately recognizable.

Relaxing, you put your arms down, slumping against the wall of the building behind you. The stones were soaking your pants, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be dried or cleaned off later.

Rapid footsteps passed the entrance to the alley in which you disappeared into. It helped that earlier you had made a right, obscuring their vision while Kaz pointed to this split and tucked the both of you away.

However the adrenaline caught up to you, and you began to giggle as Kaz's hand slipped away from your clothes and was tucked onto his lap.

Really, you tried to hold it in, but the more you did the worse they became.

"Quiet." He hissed. "They may well still be in earshot."

"Sorry, sorry." You apologized, a snicker making its way out. "They're just... so fucking stupid." To make matters worse, you could just barely hear them yelling at eachother about losing the both of you.

But it's not even that either.

This mission was simple. So simple, even, that half your normal crew was able to stay at the Slat while the four of you left to do this mission alone. And it was so unbelievably simple you were surprised it went wrong in the first place.

To your astounding luck, you had planned to rob this guy at the exact same time as another pair of people did. Whilst you snuck in from the front, they snuck in from the back, keeping out of sight as they snagged whatever looked valuable while your group snuck to the second floor for a painting that was stolen and a necklace of great importance to someone, which Kaz planned to obtain and sell for an even higher price.

So long as the night went right, the Crow Club would be a hundred and fifty thousand kruge richer.

And really, you would still be a hundred and fifty thousand kruge richer. Just... not in the way that was originally planned.

Because just as you made it down the stairs, the other group of thieves (who were laughably less skilled and that much more stupid) were about to walk out the front door.

A staring contest ensued, everyone blinking at eachother. All hell broke loose moments later, breaking everyone's shock as the original owner of the house came back and yelled for the Stadwatch.

And for some gloriously stupid reason, you guys and the other group of criminals decided to run in the same direction with Jesper hauling the painting in one direction while Kaz slipped Inej the necklace and ran in another.

To top it all off, the second group decided you would be easy prey, and attempted to chase you in an effort to get whatever goodies you had stolen and take them for themselves.

It was pure comedy. Fit for a play that any tourist would find exciting and laughable for locals who knew better.

So who could blame you for your barely contained laughter? The situation was comically stupid and the odds of it happening were pretty nonexistent. But, since it's you guys, the odds were ever in your favor.

Kaz whacked you with his cane. Not meant to hurt but definitely meant to knock some sense into you before you blew your guys' cover.

You turned to him and found him smiling too. It was barely contained and you could see he was desperately trying to cover it with a smirk.

"Just..." He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep it together. "Just hold it for a few more minutes. Hopefully you'll wear out by then and we'll have the opportunity to leave."

Even in your adrenaline drunk state, you took the time internally to appreciate the man beside you.

Kaz Brekker was not a man of expressing emotions. In fact, you could say he was allergic to the very premise of such a thing. And as such, it made him a rather hard man to understand and someone he had hoped would be impossible to get close to and even more impossible to love.

But you always liked impossible odds, even if you didn't plan on taking them.

The way you had gotten together wasn't conventional at all. It was an uncharacteristically warm Thursday afternoon that was ending up to be pretty grim when you came stumbling into the Slat with a knife sticking out of your thigh and a swollen lip.

In your pretty banged up state accompanied by a minor concussion, when you had seen Kaz come running to you, you said the most awful pick-up line known to mankind and proceeded to pass out on the floor.

You awoke a day later with a headache, an incredibly sore thigh, and Kaz resting in a chair beside your bed.

Talking out what you had said when he awoke was one of the most embarrassing things in your life, but in his own Kaz way he steered the conversation in exactly the way he wanted and, quote unquote, "confessed" to you with nothing more than a few simple words and piercing eye contact.

That was nearly a year ago, and every day since then you learned more and more about Kaz that never seized to surprise you.

Like now. He took his hat off temporarily and slicked his hair back, revealing a slight ravens point hairline. You could have sworn it was smooth, but now so close to him you realized you were wrong.

He cleared his throat as he put his hat back, using his cane to stand up and peaked out the other entrance of alley from which you came and gave the all clear.

You began walking, but it wasn't long until you sank into a squat and barked out a loud kind of laughter that echoed of the walls. Someone shushed you from down the street, but you hadn't a care in the world.

Kaz and his cane stopped where they were and came back toward you.

"Get up." He ordered, but it lacked his usual venom. It wasn't quite fond, but it was leaning in that direction more than his usual tone, which says a lot for him considering you were in the middle of the street in a pretty wealthy neighborhood.

You wheezed. "I can't." You wiped your eyes. "I'm really trying here Kaz but it's just too good."

"You're insufferable."

He snapped his fingers the best he could beneath his rubber gloves. You wiped your eyes with a laughter contained in a breath, and took Kaz's hand in yours, allowing him to pull you up.

It was a new development, the touching.

Of course you could touch his gloved hands when he offered, but it was the lack of hesitation on your side that was new.

It took a long, long talk with Kaz before you both came to the agreement that should he offer his hand to you, you shouldn't be expected to hesitate. He wanted you to know he wouldn't be offering if he wasn't sure.

It took a solid two and a half weeks before you truly let yourself take what he was giving, but it made your relationship a lot better when you became confident in his confidence.

Without gloves, though? That was a territory you had only explored twice in just as many months and required completely new boundaries. It was a slow process you had grown accustomed to. Evey time was electrifying and you couldn't be prouder of him.

He let go, urging you along. While the brunt of the laughter was gone, you still giggled. You caught him giving you a side glance, and the only thing he had to say about it was a barely amused head shake.

Eventually, you made it back to the Slat. When you entered, Jesper and Inej were already inside and waiting by the staircase, goodies in hand. Kaz ordered for Jesper to take the painting to his office whilst he took the necklace from Inej with a nod.

The painting wasn't even that large, but you guessed his leg might be bothering him a bit today. It was chillier and damper than usual. Never good for the joints or, in this case, unproperly healed tibia breaks.

With very minimal complaining and some showing off for Wylan, Jesper took the painting up the stairs two at a time, rushing into Kaz's office. You heard the thud of the frame hitting the floor, then Jesper emerged and nearly threw himself down the stairs and into the crowd of the Slat. Though you knew he would be going for Wylan the moment he was free.

Inej had disappeared off elsewhere, the Slat a bit overwhelming as of now. Nina was sitting at a table across from Wylan with some waffles piled on a plate in front of her, Matthias nowhere in sight. He must be asleep about now.

Kaz began his trudge up the stairs. And though, now that you see his even more awkward gate, his leg was bothering him, he hurried up at his normal pace. You followed along, intending to unwind in his office and see what he was going to be doing with the necklace.

Kaz's office smelt the same as it always had. Like fresh paper, ink, and a distinct woodsy scent you're not sure where it originates from. There was also a slight rose scent from a nearly burnt through candle on his desk that was snuffed out a hour before you left.

When the door was closed, the both of you began your nightly wind-down routine. You took the top layer of your clothes off and put them on the coat rack besides Kaz's items, toeing your shoes off and placing them next to it. You unbuttoned the top button of your shirt and stretched out your limbs, a yawn escaping your lips as you walked to the window behind his desk.

Meanwhile, Kaz having put his coat and hat on the rack the moment he entered the room, kept his shoes on and made his way over to the bathroom.

That consisted of taking off his gloves, washing his hands, splashing his face and scrubbing it a little before drying everything off and putting his gloves back on. His hair was always a little damp at the front, and he would slick it back in a way that always made your guts turn a little mushy. And he knew that, highlighted by the smirk that would plaster on his face when he looked at you right after, a few strands of hair bouncing back to cover his forehead.

He was a devilishly handsome man and he was infuriatingly aware of it.

If he used that power in business he would have the whole of Ketterdam on their knees.

You leaned your elbows on the sill of the window, looking out at streets of Ketterdam. It wasn't exactly evening where golden light would bathe the streets, but it was getting there. The yellow wash of the buildings were getting a little redder, voices below starting to talk about turning in soon and whether they would have time to see certain shops and plays before it starts to get into the true danger hours.

Granted, every hour in Ketterdam is a danger hour, but at night and the hour or two leading up to it it's just that much worse.

A few houses down across the street you could see a building being rebuilt after being demolished the day before, and couldn't help but wonder if they're going to fix that leaning problem the house next to it is having. Probably not, since pretty much all houses are leaning on one another, but it would make building the new one way easier.

"Y/n, love, come here a moment?"

The pet name made your heart soar, so of course you had to make his life a little difficult.

"Sorry," you tilted your head, "what was that?"

He sighed. "Y/n, love," he repeated with a little amusement, "come here a moment please?" It was a mocking and very unenthusiastic tone, one that would usually have you slapping the opposing person for their rudeness and audacity. But it's Kaz, so-

"What is it?" You turned around, surprised to see him already looking at you from over his shoulder.

He looked back in front of him, curiously attracting you over to peek over his shoulder, careful not to touch him.

His throat was awfully loud as he swallowed his spit, skin radiating warmth. "Why is this here?"

His pen pointed to a specific spending on the ledger. Upon further investigation, you sucked in a breath to your teeth, flinching enough that it made an eye of yours close.

A little bit of your hair fell to his shoulder, and you just barely missed the way goosebumps attacked his skin when gravity took it grazing against his neck.

"You've gotta know why, Kaz."

"It's the third time this month."

"And it's also the third time this month that bastard of a woman dished out more than she could take."

He sighed. "We've been through this. If you're gonna smash her over the head with something, please make sure its not a painting ive had to go off and steal- better yet, take her outside."

A rumble escaped deep from your throat, scratching it. "Fine."

A moment of silence lapsed between you as he checked the painting and something else off.

He shifted in his chair a bit. "What'd she say this time?"

Immediately your face flushed. You leaned away from him, standing straight now as you fiddled a chipping in his chair.

Kaz put the ledger balance down, now turning in his chair to face you, bad leg spread out over the expanse of the carpet.

He didn't press, though. You just needed time to work out the words.

"She just..." You looked into his eyes as they stared into yours. You put a hand over your eyes as you continued. "She was saying some pretty nasty shit."

"About?"

"About... you, mostly. I was gonna let it slide, I really was. People talk shit about you all the time—" he blew a quick exhale through his nose as a laugh "—but... I don't know this time it just..." your volume took a deep dive, "really bothered me."

With your hand over your eyes you couldn't really tell what Kaz was thinking (you probably couldn't tell anyway) but honestly, you don't think you want to know.

It was stupid, really. You let your emotions get the best of you in the most embarrassing display possible more than once and in the exact same way.

But really, it was Vicki's fault. She should have learned the first time that talking shit about those you care about was an express ticket to getting her ass handed to her. And to make it worse she hardly fought back and always cried like a bitch about it afterward. She probably doesn't even know how to fight back, you think. But she just kept doing it after the first time.

You heard that she doesn't just do this at the Crow Club either. She's done this at various clubs across town and has a knack for getting kicked out of almost all of them because, as you can guess, she dished out more than she could handle and it caused one too many outbreaks of violence.

She was insufferable. The first time she was just being downright racist and the second she had made fun of you in retaliation for the first attack. This was probably an addiction that you were fueling but you just didn't care.

"Third times the charm, right?" You said, voice small with an equally small and nervous half chuckle.

You hoped that saying rang true this time. Because if she decided she was gonna talk shit about Kaz's gloves and limp one more time you don't think you were gonna be able to hold back from doing some serious damage. Bones and cartilage might break.

There was silence for a long time after that. "A long time" might be an over statement, but it was long enough that your arm was beginning to grow uncomfortable keeping your hand raised. The seconds ticked by and each one brought you closer to just turning tail and jumping out the window, height and consequences be damned.

The cool feel of leather on your skin nearly made you jump. It wrapped around your fingers, pulling your hand away from your eyes while the other hooked into your pants and pulled you to the left.

Shock had you stumbling after the pull instead of questioning it, bringing you between Kaz's legs. Once you were where he liked, he let go of your hand and unhooked his finger.

With a bit of unease, he took his gloves off, gripping them together before setting them down gently on his desk. His attention traveled back to you in a matter of moments, his long slender fingers planted on his thighs.

Honestly you were... more confused now. You thought for sure you were gonna get something along the lines of a stern talking to, not anything like... whatever this is.

He cocked his head ever so slightly, urging you to lean down with a wave of his hand.

You leaned down cautiously, trying to keep your balance and not tip over onto him. That would be a horrible setback. When it seemed you leaned down far enough, he urged you down even further.

You took a step forward, getting steady as you were not even a full six inches from his face.

His eyes looked over your face, analyzing everything. Deep brown looking the barest bit golden where the sun was catching them. They traveled the expanse of your own, dipping down to your lips.

Pale slender fingers came up to the side of your face. He stopped for a breath, then placed the pads of his fingers to the sides of your warm face. A gasp escaped your partially parted lips, both at the temperature difference and the severity of the action just committed.

He leaned forward, and you couldn't help but lean in too, following the pull of his fingers.

You held your breath, face barely an inch apart from his. As his eyes fluttered shut so did yours. He took the leap, his lips barely ghosting over yours.

It was a startling realization to come to that you could feel his breath on yours. It was shakey and incredibly uneven, but you let him have this. Your face flushed even hotter.

This man had you in a chokehold.

He pulled back, his fingers detaching from your face. You opened your eyes to find his yet again already looking at you. His arms were shaking and you could tell it was taking a bit of a toll on him. Yet he disregarded the gloves, letting his hands fall to his lap as cold sweat beaded down the side of his face.

"What was that for?" You asked, voice on the cusp of a whisper.

He took a deep, steadying breath. "Thank you." His voice was rough but his gaze was sharp. Yet it still had that softness that he used only with you.

You didn't do well at schooling your expression, then, letting it display something between shock and endearment.

His gloves lay still on his desk, a bundle of leather resting atop damp ink. You took them in your hand, holding the fingers as you offered them to him. You smiled wide, a fond giggle sneaking out.

"Anytime, Brekker."

With the faintest of smiles, he took the gloves, slipping his hands into them.

There was not a moment he wanted to spend in this cruel world not loving you. Even if, sometimes, you shattered his paintings over a person's well-deserved head.

#six of crows fanfic #six of crows x reader #six of crows #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x you #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #fanfic

[sophierequests]

a deal is a deal // set it up part one

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x gn!Reader

A/N: I have no words or reason for this fic. I watched the movie 'Set It Up' recently, and I just knew that I had to write a fic inspired by it. I didn't intend on indulging in it this much, but this fic will definitely be a two-partner since I have written almost 10K words and I can't possibly post that monstrosity in good conscience. I absolutely love the concept of matchmaking and fake dating, so consider this fic one huge clusterfuck of tropes I enjoy. And I hope all of you can enjoy it too <3

You can find part two here!

Summary: Wylan and Jesper are helplessly pining over each other, and everyone is starting to get sick of it. Especially Kaz and the reader seem to have suffered enough under their friends' behaviour. So of course, the only reasonable conclusion is to set them up.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 5.0K

Warnings: Cursing, feelings, Kaz being a little bitch, pining, mention of his touch aversion

“Unless you saw someone cheat at Three Man Bramble, I don’t appreciate you spying on paying customers.” You were close to falling off your barstool when Kaz’s voice materialised beside you all of a sudden.

“For Saints’ sake, Kaz!” you hissed at the darkly-clad man leaning against the bar to your left, a certain look of amusement accentuating his features as he saw the way you panickedly held onto the counter. He shook his head at how easily startled you were. “You can’t just sneak up on people like that. I was dangerously close to knocking you out.”

He raised his brows, throwing a telling glance at his cane, and then back at you. Sneaking around wasn’t exactly his speciality. At least not during the main business hours of the Crow Club. He preferred to make his presence known.

“Didn’t I just tell you to stop prying?” Kaz repeated nervelessly when your eyes returned to the card’s table you had been staring at for about half an hour now. Not that he would know how long you had been sitting here. It’s not like he had been watching you during said half an hour. He had other - a lot more significant - tasks to tend to, rather than wasting his time by letting himself get distracted by you.

“Shush,” you silenced him quickly, craning your head slightly towards him to get a better view of your stalking victims. “I’m not spying on paying customers. I’m spying on Jesper and Wylan. That’s as far away from paying customers as it can get.”

“And why exactly would you do that?”

“Jesper went right to the gambling tables after we came back from the job earlier, and he has stayed there ever since. I assume you can guess who has been standing right next to him for just as long? Our little merchling is so in love, it’s painful to watch,” you whispered excitedly, completely ignoring the fact that Kaz was not one to necessarily care for dull relationship gossip.

“I should stop giving you this much time off if this is how you choose to spend it,” he grumbled, subtly following your gaze to watch the terribly awkward scene between the two Crows. Not because he genuinely cared about their immature ways of expressing their emotions, of course.

“Don’t be such a grump, Brekker,” you snorted, giving him a playful eye roll. “Admit it, they’d make such a cute couple! They could probably even compete with Nina and Matthias - don’t tell her I said that.”

“Judging by the fact that Zenik and Helvar were blood-sworn enemies before they fell into their…situationship, that won’t be such a difficult task.”

“See! You think they’d be a great fit too! What a shame one is just as oblivious as the other,” you sighed, twirling around the few remaining ice cubes that floated around in your drink.

“And you think staring them down will help ease their obliviousness?” Your head turned to face him fully, a mischievous glimmer present in your eyes. A glimmer he really didn’t like.

“Help me,” you blurted out.

“Help you with what?” he asked, a quizzical expression on his face.

“Oh, uhm, I have no concise plan yet since I thought you’d just immediately say no to me asking you for help. What I know is that I can’t watch them tiptoe around their feelings any longer. I need to do something. And you are precisely the right person to help me with that.”

“What exactly makes me the ‘right person’ to help you with getting these two idiots together?”

“Think about it. I’m Wylan’s best friend, you’re Jesper’s best friend - don’t you dare deny it! Together we can get all the intel - all the important information on how they feel about each other. It’s perfect! We could set them up and they wouldn’t even notice our involvement.”

“Absolutely not,” Kaz answered determinedly, choosing to not indulge in your childish games any longer. “As long as it’s not affecting their job performance, their relationship is none of my concern. I have more important things to do than worry about their problems with intimacy.”

“Come on, Kaz. Please?” you pouted as the man in question already shifted to head back to his office again.

“No, Y/N. They’ll be fine without our interference,” he tactfully ignored your overly dramatic plea.

“Alright, alright,” you mumbled, watching him leave with a hint of disappointment settling in your chest. “You’ll regret it eventually.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“Jesper, you’ll need to- Jesper? Jesper, focus,” Kaz ordered, having to pry the sharpshooter’s eyes away from the window for what felt like the hundredth time today. He, Inej and the lovesick Zemeni boy had been working on the details of a minor upcoming job for over two hours, seemingly not making any noticeable progress. It was safe to say that this issue was instantly accredited to Jesper, whose mind appeared to be somewhere completely else.

Even though Kaz didn’t want to admit it, he did regret not taking you up on your offer of trying to get the two together. It had become more and more evident that they were too blind to see that their feelings were mutual, and Kaz was starting to get sick of it. Why couldn’t they just act on their feelings and spare everyone around them the pain of having to watch them act like insecure little kids? What did they have to lose? It was ridiculous, really.

Kaz knew that he was close to losing his patience. And his composure would jump out of the window soon after if things didn’t change.

“Sorry boss,” Jesper apologised hastily, sitting up a bit straighter and at least acting as if his attention was back on the mindless scribbles in front of him. “I was just a bit lost in thought. The…weather is so pretty today, after all.”

The weather in question was a mixture of dark gloomy clouds and the occasional rain shower - a typical day in Ketterdam, but definitely far from pretty. Maybe the weather that Jesper had in mind was ginger and able to play the flute, Kaz thought.

“We should probably leave this here,” he let out a huffed breath, meeting Inej’s confused glance.

“What? But the jo-”

“The job can only work if everyone is on the same page,” he interjected Jesper’s unnecessary attempt at defending himself. “You can leave - both of you. I’ll see what I can work out on my own.”

“Are you sure you won’t need any help with this?” the Suli girl asked hesitantly, waiting for her friend to give them another task instead of just letting them off the hook this easily.

“No, it’s fine. Go,” he nodded towards the door, his eyes following Jesper, who was already on his way out. Before Inej could do the same, he decided to give her one last task. “Inej? Tell Y/N to come up here in the next five minutes. I need to discuss something with them.”

“You wanted to see me, boss?” you questioned as soon as you entered Kaz’s semi-tidy office space. When Inej told you that he wanted to speak to you, your heart almost sunk to the bottom of your stomach. People being called up to speak to Kaz rarely ever got out with their dignity still intact.

“Sit,” he demanded, his gaze never leaving the papers on his desk as he motioned for you to sit in the chair across from him.

“Kaz, if this is about th-”

“Don’t start. Whatever you were about to tell me has probably not been brought to my attention yet, so I won’t allow it to occupy my mind until it pops up on its own. Now sit.”

You carefully obeyed his request, slowly sinking into the offered chair while your eyes still remained fixed on the man in front of you.

“He has become absolutely insufferable,” Kaz sighed, letting his fountain pen drop out of his hand and finally acknowledging your physical presence with a defeated glare. “I didn’t even think it was possible for him to become even more intolerable.”

“Who exactly are you talking about?”

“Who do you think I’m talking about? Our favourite bawdy flirt-gill has been acting like an infatuated teenage girl and it is driving me mad.”

“Oh! You’re talking about Jesper!” you let out a stifled laugh upon seeing his tired expression. “So you’re basically admitting that I was right about us having to intervene?”

“I’m merely admitting that there was some truth to what you were saying. Don’t get it twisted and don’t get used to it,” he corrected dryly. “And wipe that self-satisfied grin off your face. I didn’t call you up here to bask in your supposed victory.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to do about it?” you replied sheepishly, fully aware that you were dangerously close to testing your limits.

“I’m agreeing to whatever you had in mind as long as it stops Jesper from acting like this.”

“Consider it a deal.”

“When I told you that I’m agreeing to whatever you had in mind as long as it stops Jesper from acting like a dotty puppy, I didn’t mean that you were allowed to barge into my office whenever you please,” your boss grumbled, watching you stumble through the door like you had one drink too many.

“Good morning, Kaz, it’s lovely to see you too,” you dismissed his very obviously spiteful remark, walking right up to the chair you had dubbed yours. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our two problem children and I had an idea.”

“Oh, so miracles do happen,” he jeered, letting himself lean back in his chair as he watched you get comfortable.

“With all due respect - which isn’t a lot - go fuck yourself.”

“I’ll consider it once you’re done telling me about that magnificent idea of yours.”

“Okay, so, Wylan just stopped me in the hallway to ask whether I want to get coffee with him next Friday.” A waterfall of words began to tumble out of your mouth, giving Kaz quite a few difficulties following what you were trying to say. “So, wouldn’t it be an absolute coincidence if Jesper would also go out for a coffee on Friday? It would be such a nice change of pace for them to spend time with…different people - other than us.”

“I am not asking Jesper to go get coffee with me,” Kaz replied laconically, giving you a dissatisfied look in an attempt to convey that he was not too fond of your musings.

“I am not asking you to get a coffee with Jesper - Saints, that man is going to think that you have a thing for him. We don’t even have to leave the Slat for this plan to work.”

“Now I’m intrigued.”

“Please explain to me again why specifically I have to join you on that job?” Jesper bemoaned as he followed Kaz down the stairs. He was not in the mood for playing his boss’ bodyguard today. He wasn’t even in the mood to leave the Slat. It didn’t help that a certain merchling had been occupying his mind for the entirety of last week, pushing every coherent thought to the furthest corner of his brain. “Can’t you ask Inej? Or Matthias? Or literally anyone else? Wait, why don’t you just ask Y/N? You two seem to be getting along surprisingly well recently.”

“Y/N is already busy,” Kaz objected skilfully. “And having a normal work relationship is not the same as ‘getting along surprisingly well’. Flush these thoughts out of your system immediately.”

“I’m just saying,” Jesper snickered, putting his hand up in front of him defensively.

“Kaz? Jesper?” your cheery voice greeted them as soon as they entered the living room area. Wylan and you had been lounging on the couch for quite some time now, simply chatting about life - and love, even though Wylan refused to give you too much information on his ill-fated crush. Of course, you had ulterior motives for staying that long, but your friend didn’t know that. “What are the two of you up to?”

"We have a job near Fourth Harbour," Kaz replied sternly.

"And he's forcing me to come with him," the sharpshooter groaned, his eyes drifting towards the timid boy sitting next to you, flashing him a cocky wink. "What are you up to? Whatever it is, it looks like a lot more fun than whatever Mister Ruin-My-Mood has in store for me."

"Jesper," Kaz warned, throwing you a quick glance, wordlessly asking you to take over.

"We wanted to head out for coffee and some sweet treats later," you mused, watching Jesper's expression turn sour.

"Won't you look at that, Kaz? This is what other friends do in their spare time," he grumbled.

"Hey, why don't you two just go and grab a coffee?" you offered, your gaze wandering between the two soon-to-be lovebirds.

"Us?" Wylan stammered, his finger pointing from him to Jesper, who looked equally as befuddled.

"Yes, you. Jes clearly isn't in the mood for going on a job today, and I haven't been on a proper one in ages," you suggested, giving your friends an encouraging smile.

"You genuinely want to join Kaz on a job with just the two of you? Like willingly?" the Zemeni boy joked, nudging your shoulder with his elbow.

"I'm sure I'll manage. Kaz?" You gave him an expectant look, watching as the ghost of a smirk flashed over his lips.

"Fine," he rasped, causing Jesper to break out into a wide grin, whilst Wylan looked a little short of horrified. "Maybe now we'll actually get some work done."

"And maybe we'll finally get some peace and quiet, won't we? I haven’t gone out just to get coffee in such a long time.” His attention turned to the young merch, whose head had turned as red as the soles of Jesper’s shoes.

“I’m sure you will have the loveliest of days,” Kaz deadpanned, gesturing for you to follow him outside into the hallway.

“Enjoy your day!” you called before quickly exiting the living room, leaving Wylan alone to deal with his crush. You could have sworn that he mouthed the word ‘help’ before you crossed the threshold to the corridor.

“That worked way better than I had expected,” he uttered, barely loud enough for you to hear his words clearly.

“I told you it would work,” you bragged, earning a disapproving headshake from the man standing next to you. “You’re not the only mastermind in this team.”

“So what’s the next step in your plan then?”

“We could just stay back here and wait for them to come back. I’m sure they’d tell us if something happened between them.” You locked eyes with him again, the intensity causing goosebumps to spread over his arms. “Or we could get out and follow them. Just to make sure that they’re alright of course.”

“I’m not following them.”

“This is ridiculous,” Kaz said as he watched you gape at Jesper and Wylan who were currently sitting on the terrace of the café you had pushed them to go to. You found a corner table at the bakery across from where your friends were sitting, giving you the chance to stay unnoticed while also being able to see whatever was going on between them.

“This is fun,” you hummed, leaning a bit further forwards to flash Kaz a cheeky smile, which was slightly hidden by the obnoxious fake roses in the middle of the table. “Don’t you want to see how this will turn out?”

“No.” You frowned at the impassive tone of his voice.

“You didn’t have to join me, Kaz.” He didn’t. He knew that. As a matter of fact, the pile of unfinished documents on his desk only seemed to get higher by the minute. Yet, against all his better judgement, he still abandoned his work in an instant just to go and see whether your plan was working or not. It was foolish to agree to it, however, for some reason, he still did. He was going insane - he was sure of it.

“I don’t trust you to not fuck this up on the first chance you get,” he stated after a short moment of him just staring at the empty space beside your head.

“You trust no one, yet I don’t see you holding Matthias’ hand whenever you let him go on a solo job - well, metaphorically holding his hand.”

Before Kaz could defend himself, the waitress approached your table, bringing over both of your drinks. She had a sickly sweet smile on her painted lips that made him want to bash his head onto the table. He resisted said urge in order to not make a scene though.

“I’ll assume the black coffee is for you?” the woman joked, eying Kaz’s grimly-looking outfit from head to toe, silently accepting the cup and placing it in front of him. She handed you the drink you had ordered and turned around to attend to the other guests. “Feel free to call me over in case you need anything else. Enjoy your date!”

Kaz almost choked on his own spit when he heard that. This was not a date. Not in a million years would he consider this a date. He attempted to seek some sort of confirmation that you shared his sentiment, but when he looked at your face, you didn’t even seem to care about the waitress’ atrocious assumption.

“What is it?” you inquired lowly on taking notice of his slightly bewildered expression.

“She thinks that this is a date. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“… No? Why should it have?” Kaz mentally thanked his luck that Nina wasn’t around. If she had been here to hear the way his heart was running wild she would have probably thought he had a heart attack.

“This is not a date.”

“Yes, I’m very well aware of that fact,” you let out a breathy chuckle in response to that. “And that’s exactly why it doesn’t bother me. I know that this isn’t a date. You know that this isn’t a date. So why should it matter what some random waitress thinks?”

“Oh…” For some odd reason, your answer disappointed him. This wasn’t a date, so you were right to say it. But something inside of him was beginning to make itself known.

“Oh no,” you muttered, your gaze back on the people you were actually here for. He did the same, regretting it immediately as he saw the uncomfortable scene playing out in the other café.

Wylan and Jesper were sitting across from each other at one of the tables on the terrace, giving you the perfect view of every interaction between them. But instead of them looking like the happy couple you had imagined they would be by now, Jesper was frantically collecting paper napkins, trying to help Wylan clean up the massive coffee stain that had formed a deep brown blotch on his previously neat beige sweater. And to make things even worse, the clumsy sharpshooter had taken matters into his own hands, pulling the flustered boy closer to him by the collar, whilst wiping a dry napkin over the mess he made - his face a mixture of despair and complete distress.

“Idiots,” Kaz sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in an effort to spare himself the embarrassment of watching them any longer.

“Maybe we should put them in a situation they’re more acquainted with the next time.”

“Are you familiar with the concept of knocking?” He was close to jumping out of his skin when the door to his office flew open without a warning, only for it to be you standing on the other side with two cups of tea in your hands. He hastily caught himself, acting as if you hadn't just scared him shitless. It was way too late for any person with even an ounce of self-preservation skills to enter his space without giving him any sort of notice, but of course, you just had to be the exception.

“Are you familiar with the concept of locking your door if you don’t want to be disturbed?” you quipped, not waiting for him to give you permission to enter before waltzing right over to his desk. The mug was quickly placed in front of him and you threw yourself into ‘your’ chair.

“This may be the Barrel, but some of its inhabitants still possess the basic manners of announcing their presence when they intend to bother me in my own office.” Kaz eyed your offering suspiciously, pulling the cup towards himself as if he feared that you might have spiked its content. “What is this?”

“Tea?”

“I know that it’s tea. I'm not dense,” he said, a bit annoyed now.

“Then why are you asking?”

“What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Kaz, you’re not a toddler. You know what to do when someone places a drink in front of you.”

“Why are you bringing me tea, Y/N?”

“That's an adequate question. I had another idea on how to get Jesper and Wylan to admit their feelings,” you began, enticing Kaz to internally question every single decision in his life that made him end up in this situation.

“And you needed to bring me tea to make me listen to that idea? You're either about to drug me into submission or you’re finally attempting to kill me.”

“Sadly neither - yet. But I had the idea while making tea. And I would have felt bad if I went up here without offering you something to drink too,” you replied meekly, a faint blush settling on your cheeks.

“I hope your idea isn’t tea-related. We shouldn’t bring the two dimwits near anything that's spillable anytime soon.”

"I solemnly swear there are no liquids involved in my idea. At least not explicitly," you assured.

"That better be the case. Let's hear it then," he muttered, begrudgingly taking a sip from his tea whilst waiting for you to collect your thoughts. It startled him how good the drink tasted. He hated that you knew exactly what tea he liked and how he liked to have it.

"You still haven't finished splitting us up in groups for the upcoming heist, have you?"

"If you hadn't dragged me along to play matchmaker, the plan would already stand," he grumbled, looking at the stack of blueprints he had yet to analyse for possible security risks.

"Then I'd like to make one suggestion. How about we - well, you - pair Jesper and Wylan together? We're all pretty familiar with jobs like this, so that shouldn't be an issue. Maybe having them work alongside each other could give their relationship just the push it needs."

Kaz looked like he was about to throw himself out the next best window. It was one thing that you had inserted yourself into the majority of his spare time like an unwelcome flu. Now you were also trying to insert yourself into his work? You were really trying to break him down to bits. And maybe he should let you.

"Please, Kaz. I'll even help you with all your boring preparation and mapping out. I genuinely think this could work," you put forward, knowing that the likelihood of him agreeing to this plan was close to non-existent.

"I'll allow it," he said, averting his eyes to look at basically anything else just to avoid letting them land on you.

"What?"

"Have you gone deaf? I said that I'll allow it," he repeated.

"Kaz, I swear to every Saint you don't believe in, I'm so close to kissing you - you’re amazing!" you exclaimed jokingly, a wide grin on your face.

"Do it and find out what ditch you'll end up in," he threatened, but you were too excited to care about the murderous look on his face.

After almost a week of scheming, scheduling and planning in the security of Kaz’s office, you had finally managed to put together a plan that would ensure two things. The success of the job. And the fact that Jesper and Wylan would be staying at each other’s side the whole time.

“I think we can pull this off,” Kaz muttered, visibly still very much in thought.

“You think we can pull this off?” you asked, absent-mindedly twirling one of his pens around your fingers.

“No.” He swiftly snatched it back, putting it down and giving you a self-assured grin. “We will pull this off.”

A few days later, all the Crows had gathered in the cramped attic space, more or less eager to hear about the plans for the upcoming mission.

“Please don’t tell me that we’ll have to go through all of these blueprints again,” Jesper whined as he saw the stack of layout plans that sat at the edge of Kaz’s desk. They had been on jobs in the University District before, so the quite hefty pile of blueprints wasn’t completely unknown to them. More than one evening had been spent slaving over them, spying out every minuscule detail that could give them any sort of advantage. But these plans were new - updated. And everyone dreaded having to do the whole ordeal of looking at them for a second time.

“Y/N and I already went through them, the annotations should suffice. Not much has changed,” Kaz answered, unaware of the suspicious glances his nonchalant comment created. It was well known that you avoided mapping out blueprints like the plague, so this revelation did raise some brows.

“Y/N and you?” Nina and Jesper blurted almost synchronously. They had noticed your absence from their usual evening get-togethers, simply chalking it up to you being under the weather or something. What they hadn’t expected was you sneaking away from them because you went to spend time with the Bastard of the Barrel. Now that they knew the latter had been the case, they had some certain thoughts on what the reason for these nightly visits might be - none of them strictly work-related.

“Congratulations, you have a basic understanding of auditory information processing. Yes, Y/N and I.” Kaz allowed his gaze to shift towards you. It felt odd to not have you sit in front of him, energetically discussing plans and ideas while the noise of Ketterdam’s streets seemed to have fully vanished underneath the sound of your voices. He hated to think that way, but he had grown used to having you around. Whether it be you staggering into his office to propose another utterly insane plot to get your friends to date, or just you keeping him company with whatever talk you could offer. The thought of this routine being ripped away from him once Jesper and Wylan realise their feelings are reciprocated filled him with more dissatisfaction than relief.

“Since when does Y/N care for analysing blueprints?” The Heartrender asked slyly.

“I don’t. It was my forfeit,” you replied before Kaz could. “We had a bet on how much money Jesper would be able to lose in a span of three days. Let’s just say that Kaz really does know you better than I do, Jes.” A lie. A good lie, Kaz thought. The only reason why you would spend your evenings talking to him would probably be the loss of a bet. But that didn’t make the pull on his heartstrings hurt any less.

“Rude,” the sharpshooter pouted.

“Anyway,” Kaz deflected, returning to his actual intention of this meeting. “We also took the liberty of assigning groups and tasks. So I’d advise you to listen carefully.” He adjusted the paper in his hands, letting his eyes fly over your jagged handwriting for the millionth time. “Helvar will pose as a guard - big and brawny with little to think about. One would say it’s the perfect fit.” Matthias let out a dissatisfied grunt at that comment. “Nina and Inej will keep an eye on who leaves, and who enters. And if there is anything suspicious you will alert me.” The two girls gave him a court nod, content that they were able to work together again. “I will attend as a guest. It’ll give me enough time and trust to hopefully get some information on the new ware shipments that are supposed to arrive the week after the ball. Our main objective is getting intel. Any other material acquisitions are just perks. And finally Wylan and Jesper.” The two boys stared at Kaz with an uncomfortable expression. He had never paired them up before. Why was he starting now? “Since the majority of university personnel will be present at the ball, you’ll take care of breaking into the administration’s office. I need some precise data on the involvement of the Council in sponsoring the university.”

“What about Y/N?” A brief pause followed Inej’s simple question.

After all these hours of planning, you had forgotten to add yourself to the equation. You had been so focussed on giving the two lovebirds some alone time that your absence went completely unnoticed. Both of you felt utterly stupid. How could you have missed that?

“They’ll be my date,” Kaz answered a bit too quickly, not letting the thudding of his heart betray his stone-faced expression.

“My condolences.” Matthias gave you an apologetic but calm look, whilst everyone else in the room seemed to be utterly shocked by their boss’ comment. Even you had to suppress the state of absolute shock that had threatened to spread over your face when he referred to you as his ‘date’. Saints, he himself didn’t believe the words that had just slipped out of his mouth.

“I’ll need someone to chat with the merchant spouses, or else I’ll lose my mind. Their presence can buy me enough time to get the information I need,” he explained, but the majority of his friends were too busy interpreting way too much into this situation to acknowledge his reasoning.

Maybe choosing Jesper as a partner would have been easier on his poor heart.

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Kaz Brekker: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @juneberrie @writingmysanity @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @brekkers-desigirl @fall-writes

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone x reader #grishaverse x reader #shadow and bone #grishaverse #kaz brekker fluff

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Kaz Brekker x gn! Reader - This isn't the end

A/n: I'm evilly laughing at everyone who decided to read this, and you will find out why. Also no beta we die like men

Summary: After explaining to Kaz how tired you were, he decided to have one last heist before finally letting go of the Dregs - of Ketterdam, for good.

Warnings: shooting, death, usual soc violence, cursing, I think that's it? You have been warned!

The three P's:

[Pronouns used: you/your] [pov: second person] [Pairings: (romantic!) kaz x reader]

A gun shot to the chest makes your world stop when it's the person beside you who gets shot.

It shouldn't for Kaz Brekker though, his vision shouldn't zone in on that one person - the noises fading away as he could only focus on their face.

"Fuck- Y/n!" He yelled out for you and turned to look at you in horror as your knees buckled and you fell to the ground

He should grab a gun, or his cane and start taking out more people, before helping the person beside him. If he even could.

With shaking hands he pressed them down on your wound as the waters raised and he's left gasping for air.

"Kaz stop." You chocked out and grabbed at his wrist to pull it away from your wound.

"No. Don't you dare." He hissed at you, "Don't-"

"It's hopeless Kaz, don't waste your time, don't make it any worse."

He shouldn't beg or plead with anyone to stay alive, because that would mean he's breaking, and Dirtyhands can't afford to break. If he breaks everything he's built goes down.

"No, no! This isn't the end, I promise you Y/n. Just please- please stay awake."

Kaz Brekker doesn't care if you live or die.

In your eyes he could see his own reflection and you gazed behind him for a moment, the light keeping you tied to the living flickering.

"I'm tired, Kaz I'm so tired.

He can't afford to.

He trembled when he heard you utter those words while you chocked on your own blood. They were the same words you croaked to him right before this job.

This was supposed to your last job, your last heist before a ever waiting bliss.

Kaz Brekker doesn't cry over anyone.

Tears slipped from the bastard for the first time since Jordie.

"I love you, but I can't, I'm too tired. I can't stay awake."

"I'm sorry." You breathed out, before your chest took a shuttering stop and nothing came after.

He doesn't say goodbye,

He screamed.

he just lets go.

Words 345

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Grishaverse taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover @brekker-zenik @alohastitch0626 @brekkers-desigirl @emmsamultifan06

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x gn! reader #soc #six of crows #six of crows x reader #sab #shadow and bone #kaz x reader #kaz x you #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker x you #delusion writes #I'm so sorry #it may or may not have been a bit angsty

[wolfmoonmusic]

Calloused Hearts - 2

Summary: Kaz takes you back to the slat, and as you’re busy recovering and making new friends, he’s busy figuring out exactly what he wants.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Tidemaker!reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mentions of blood and wounds, mentions of dead character

w/c: 2348

A/N: I did NOT expect that response for the previous chapter! Thank you all so much!!

Here’s the next one, hope y’all like it just as much(maybe more?)!!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2:

By the time you’d gotten back to the Slat, you were sure you were going to faint. Kaz must’ve noticed too, because he muttered “Wait here,” before shoving through the crowd of the Slat with cold fury emanating from his eyes. The drinkers and gamblers made way to give a wide berth to him; no one messed with the Bastard when he's mad. 

You couldn’t fight the fear you felt as everyone stared at you. Anyone that wanted to pick a fight, could easily do so. Just as you started regretting following Kaz, he re-emerged with a rather confused looking Inej. 

“Get her to Nina,” Kaz ordered. 

Inej just stared at him, mouth slightly agape. “What?” It was clear she didn't know who you were, and for some reason, the revelation hurt you more than the bullet wound in your side.

“Get her to Nina” Kaz hissed through gritted teeth, looking over his shoulder for eavesdroppers, “Now. Before there's another bleeding idiot on the floor.” He was glaring at Inej, jaw set, expression as cold as ever. You almost smiled, something about the way Kaz ordered her made you feel like things might go back to normal. But who were you kidding? You’d done more than enough damage to Kaz. It would be devilish of you to expect something of that sort.

Inej gave Kaz one last look before she was at your side, one hand slipped around your waist as the other pulled your arm over her shoulders. She looked back to Kaz “You have a lot of explaining to do,” she said, before she carefully guided you upstairs. With having no reason to stay awake anymore, your eyes fluttered shut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaz couldn’t sit, or stay still, his mind was racing a hundred miles per hour and he wanted to kill someone from the frustration of not being able to control his thoughts. It wasn’t until he felt Inej’s presence behind him, and people barging their way through his door that he stopped pacing. He whipped around pointing a finger at the 3 boys behind him.

“I didn’t give any of you permission,” Kaz seethed. There was no point in getting mad at Inej, she’d do the same thing again.

“He’s mad,” whispered Wylan.

“And you,” Kaz pointed to Inej, “You told them?” he nearly yelled.

“Very clearly,” whispered Matthias in response to the younger boy’s earlier question.

“I had to Kaz! Everyone saw you bring her in!” Inej stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

“And bringing in someone who no one else knows, that none of us know “Jesper pointed to the 4 of them, “is not very,” he paused, his face scrunched up in thought, “...Kaz-y” he said finally with a satisfied smirk.

Kaz glared. He was not in the mood to deal with them right now. “It’s none of your business. Send her up here once Nina heals her,” he said to no one in particular. He walked over to his desk, taking off his coat and slinging it over the back of his chair. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, before sitting down. He sent one last glare towards his Crows, enough to send the boys running, but Inej stood her ground, unfazed by Kaz’s moods. 

“You care about her don’t you?” Inej said. Her tone caught Kaz off guard; it was soft. Kaz froze. He didn’t know. Did he? He didn’t want to….right? 

He huffed, unable to form a sentence before finally “Get out,” fell from his lips. His voice cracked. He hated this. Inej sighed, before she slipped out of his room. Kaz leaned back in his chair. This was going to be harder than he thought. 

They’d stolen an entire box of toffees, sprinting down alleyway after alleyway, Kaz keeping up at remarkable speed as he started getting used to his cane. They ducked into a dilapidated building, hoping it would confuse the shopkeeper and throw him off their scent. No child hid in an old run-down building, right?

You burst out laughing, the adrenaline rush getting to you as you sat on the floor. “As much I love our big jobs, stealing deserves more credit,” your eyes were shining. Kaz let out a small chuckle, “Yet you could have refrained from throwing water on his face Y/N/N,” he sat down next to you, stretching out his bad leg. 

You shrugged, “Need to keep using them, or else I can’t do the big stuff,” you said, picking up a large chocolate in the process. Kaz watched you open it, as much as he didn’t mind the little stunts you pulled off, he couldn’t ignore that worry that tugged at him. Grisha were always checking kids, grabbing them, cornering them to do so, and you both were still young. You could get caught in their trap.  You offered him the chocolate, and as he was reaching for it, they were interrupted by the sound of sudden footsteps. How had you both not heard them coming? Two hands grabbed your arms as you were pulled away from Kaz.

He watched as you were pulled a little further away, eyes wide in shock, but when he tried to stand up, two firm hands held him down. He looked up to see a man wearing a blue kefta, “Stay down boy,” he said. Kaz felt himself being tieddown, his cane being kept out of reach. He glared at the Grisha, before shifting his eyes to you, He watched helplessly as you trashed around in your own set of cuffs. 

“She’s the one,” Kaz’s eyes flew to the voice, the owner being the particular shopkeeper you were running from. Kaz cursed under his breath. His eyes flicked back over to you, and they found yours staring back. The look of worry in your eyes was one that would haunt him for years to come. He tried to send you comfort, to let you know it’d be fine. But you both knew it wouldn’t. 

You’d been caught. 

One of the Grisha stepped forward, kneeling to your level. “As I live and breathe. You’re a spitting image of him,” she said, and your whole body tensed. Kaz had the slightest idea of what she meant, and if that was the case…he didn’t want to think of what that could mean. 

“You’re L/N’s daughter? The one he had after getting drunk with that Zemeni lady in Ketterdam?” Kaz watched you wince. Your origin was a touchy subject for you. One you rarely ever brought up. It killed him to have to watch the scene unfold and not be able to do anything. The Grisha stood up again, “Let’s take her in, she’ll be a topic of interest alright,”. Your eyes widened, flicking over to Kaz, who’d already straightened, yelling protests, fighting against his restraints. The Grisha muttered something before saying “You get 10 seconds,” and she signaled her partners to walk away for a bit. The shopkeeper made sure to grab his toffees before leaving

Your eyes watered as you shuffled over to Kaz, your feet still bound. “Do something,” he pleaded. His eyes were starting to water as well. He’d lost Jordie, he couldn’t lose you too. “I can’t Kaz, not with my hands tied. I don’t have the expertise,” you held back a sob. “You can’t go,” he said. The Grisha were making their way back. “I promise I’ll come back, as soon as I can. I swear to God, I will. I’ll come back, and in return you buy me all the candy I want, no complaints,” you’d cried. He nodded, he couldn’t speak, his lips were sealed shut by his fear and rage. Just when they grabbed you again, you’d whispered, “The deal is the deal.” 

He’d heard it.

Kaz had been left there, for the first time in his life, completely alone, and it wasn’t until the night had totally set in, the cold biting at his face, that he cut open his restraints, against a sharp rock in the wall, grabbed his cane and left. And just before he had, he turned to where you’d been standing. 

“The deal is the deal,” he whispered.

The next few months were spent waiting. Months turned to a year and that became 2 years, and then that slowly became 3,4,5 and then 6. Eventually, he’d given up on the prospect of you coming back to him. He’d had so many plans for you both. All that was left was a small glimmer of hope which came back to him on his worst days. The phrase which he lived his life by, one which he repeated so often.

In the dim light of that broken down building, while being dragged away. You’d made a promise. 

You’d made a deal.

The deal is the deal.

Kaz hadn’t quite left that building. He came back almost every day, until he’d had enough kruge to buy it. And it’d become the Crow Club. Because in all honesty, Kaz wasn’t ready to let you go, not then, and he realized, not now either. You’d promised him to come back as soon as possible, and ideally that should have been 3 years ago, seeing as you’d returned to Ketterdam then. 

Yet you’d shown up only yesterday. He needed a reason why, if not anything else. So, Kaz decided, you could stay, for now at least. He ran a hand through his hair. For the first time in a long time, Kaz was betting solely on luck and hope. Betting that this time you’d stay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You heard whispers. 5, distinct ones. Your eyes fluttered open, to find 5 pairs of eyes staring back at you. You would’ve immediately gotten into an attack position had you not been following them for 3 years. They were too busy pointing at you and whispering to notice that you’d woken up. 

You cleared your throat, the entire room falling silent, immediately, all their eyes wide.

Nina was the first to speak, “How are you feeling?” her voice was filled with concern. Was she not fazed by your sudden appearance, confused as to who you were? You shrugged, pulling yourself up and wincing at the sudden burn in your abdomen. “You should lay down and rest, you lost a lot of blood,” she reached out to you, but you waved her off. 

“Been through worse,” you responded, backing up against the headboard. You eyed everyone in the room, and you could tell that they were tense. You sighed before putting your hands up in a defensive position. “I swear on all the Saints that Kaz doesn’t believe in-” you paused, noticing Inej straighten slightly, “-that I come in peace.” 

They all looked at eachother momentarily, before all turning back to you, firing questions in rapid succession. 

“Who are you?” Inej asked, crossing her arms.

“What are you?” Jesper questioned, finger pointed at you.

“Why are you here?” Wylan asked, eyebrows raised.

“Where are you from?” Matthias grumbled.

Nina sighed,“She literally just got up.”

You lowered your hands slowly, “My name is Y/N L/N, I’m a tidemaker, you’ll know why am I here soon enough, and I’m from Novyi Zem,” you said, pointing at each person as you answered their question. The room fell silent. You wondered if you should’ve told them that you were Grisha. 

‘But Kaz trusts them.’ So, you concluded that you could trust them too.

You could tell you’d shocked them all. Just when you thought you’d messed up with introductions, and that you’d lost any hope of making peace with them, Jesper spoke.

“You’re Zemeni? And a Grisha?” he asked, and you nodded slowly. You didn’t know what these people thought of you just yet. Reading their expressions, you could tell they had a lot of questions.

“How do you know Kaz?,” Inej asked.

You felt like someone had stabbed you right in the chest. You thought for a moment, not knowing how much Kaz had chosen to tell these people about his personal life, before he became Kaz Brekker. You couldn’t deny the pain you felt as it dawned on you that Kaz had never mentioned you. Not once. You didn’t know how you felt about that.

“We’re old friends,” you chose your words carefully, “I did a few heists with him, before I was taken to Ravka.” You could feel Nina tense next to you. She knew the full extent of the word taken. You felt her hand on yours, a gentle squeeze.

The truth was, it wasn’t the fact that you were taken, which hurt you the most. It was the fact that you’d been taken from Kaz. He and his brother Jordie saved you. You had been all alone in Ketterdam, and had it not been for your chance meeting with them, you’re sure you would’ve suffered a worse fate. 

“Are you sure that you were his friend?” Jesper asked, snapping you out of your thoughts, “Think you might be up in your head about that. Kaz doesn’t do friends.”. 

You felt your lips twitch upward. “Aww are you jealous, Jesper?” you taunted. His eyes widened in surprise as the others stifled their laughter. Wylan let a chuckle escape and earned a glare from Jesper. “She’s right though!,” the younger boy defended, and it left all of you snickering. “Thanks for that,” Jesper mumbled, as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the wall. 

“Don’t worry Jes, you can be my friend,” you said, and when you caught the shadow of his signature smirk, you gladly returned it with a grin of your own. 

“Sure love, though, have to say, I’m disappointed, I was hoping we could be more,” he chided, and you laughed, the foreign noise rising from your chest. You swore you saw Wylan’s cheeks redden as he swatted his boyfriend’s arm, “Hey!” he protested. And you let the unfamiliar warmth of these people around you, engulf you momentarily, welcoming it, glad to be hidden from the cold, for just a minute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: @ancientbeing10 @lila-kille @emmnf1

Edited by: @darthkitten

Chapter 3

#kaz brekker x reader #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #kaz #x reader #x you fluff #x you #reader insert #freddy carter #six of crows #inej ghafa #tidemaker #angst #kaz brekker angst #freddy carter x reader #the crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone netflix #grisha #jesper fahey #jesper x wylan #matthias #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #nina #matthias x nina #kaz x reader

[illuminatedquill]

Sabine Wren & Ezra Bridger

Hands, Ready To Bleed

Story Summary: Adjusting to living together on Lothal, Sabine and Ezra are finally moving forward with their lives - and their new relationship - during this hard-won era of peace. However, the annual memorial to commemorate the Battle of Lothal approaches, leading to the revelation of a secret that Ezra has long been hiding from Sabine.

"It's just a rehearsal," Sabine Wren said soothingly to her long-time partner, Ezra Bridger. "Nothing to worry about."

The rehearsal was on the main tower of Capital City, held on the platform where the Wall of Heroes was located. Overhead, the skies were a dazzling blue with only small wisps of clouds overhead to pass by. Below, the streets of Capital City were buzzing with life and business, but a few small groups of onlookers were watching the rehearsal for the annual memorial to commemorate the Battle of Lothal with interest.

And for good reason; Ezra Bridger, the legendary hero and Jedi who saved the planet - and defeated Thrawn, twice, a new recent achievement to further add to his renown - was finally attending. It stood to reason that the crowds this year were going to be enormous, people flocking to the city just for a glimpse of their hero.

Ezra smoothed down the front of his outfit for the umpteenth time; through the Force, she could sense his nervousness, coming through in spikes of tense energy. Sabine had opted to dress in casual clothes for the rehearsal; flight jacket, red tunic, combat pants and boots. Ezra was wearing an what Sabine liked to call 'rogues' attire; a dashing scarlet tunic, midnight blue vest, striped military pants, and thigh-high boots that were shined to perfection.

"If you say so," he said with false cheer. He flashed a smile at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. The normally bright, piercing blue eyes of Ezra Bridger were clouded over with worry . . . and something else.

Something darker.

Sabine frowned and probed the edges of Ezra's mind, seeking the truth behind his false cheer -

"Sabine! There you are." It was Governor Azadi, an old friend. He waded through the crowd, resplendent in his politician's attire complete with a dashing cape. "Need you for a moment."

Sabine cast a worried glance at Ezra. "Ezra, if you're not feeling up to this - "

He shook his head. "I'm alright."

Ezra stared ahead at the crowd surrounding them. "I have to be," he muttered.

Sabine reached out and gave Ezra's hand a reassuring squeeze. He squeezed it back and nodded at her. "I'll be right back, okay?" she said.

Azadi led Sabine away and then discreetly nodded towards a corner of the platform. She stole a glance in the direction -

And let out a curse. It was Senator Xiono, idling by himself with a half-empty flute of wine in one hand; he was dressed impeccably, as always, but there was a sleepless look to his face - and there was no mistaking the cold, hard rage radiating from his eyes.

He was staring at Ezra.

Sabine turned to Azadi. "What's he doing here?" she hissed at him.

Azadi held up his hands in a placating gesture, a grimace on his weathered face. "He wasn't invited, I assure you. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

Xiono had long been a pain in the Senate Oversight Committee towards the fledgling New Jedi Order and their allies but that had been exacerbated since Thrawn's re-emergence and subsequent campaign to revive the Empire. Xiono's world had been brutally bombarded by Thrawn's fleets; rumor had it that his wife was still recovering in intensive care, and that his only child, a son named Kaz, had barely escaped, as well.

He had long been suspicious of Ezra's sudden reappearance coinciding with Thrawn's, but the details of his time stranded on Peridea were still kept a secret. Xiono, however, had only amped up his scrutiny of Ezra since Thrawn's defeat; it was clear that he had a personal vendetta against Ezra, whom he believed had abandoned his duty as a Jedi in letting Thrawn live.

"Ryder, he's going to start trouble with Ezra," Sabine warned. "He needs to be kicked out."

Azadi sighed. "I can't just kick out a Senator, Sabine. Look, I've got Jai Kell baby-sitting him for the moment. I'll run interference, too. You and Ezra just do your speeches and then you can high-tail it out of here."

Sabine pursed her lips, thinking of Ezra's unusual mood. She watched Senator Jai Kell talking animatedly with Senator Xiono; the latter was barely responding to the conversation, his eyes still trained on Ezra.

She came to a decision. "Let me talk to Ezra, see what he thinks."

Azadi nodded. "Very well."

Sabine walked back to her partner. "Ezra, Senator Xiono is here."

He was looking at his note-cards, reading over his speech. "What?"

"Look," said Sabine. "If you want to go, no one will blame you, okay? It won't be the first ceremony you missed."

Ezra considered that for a moment. Then he said, "No, I need to do this. The city's been waiting for me. I can't let them down."

His face was composed, but through the Force his thoughts and feelings were all over the place. Sabine grabbed his arm.

"Ezra," she pleaded. "I know you're not feeling up to this. I can sense it."

He shook his arm free. "It doesn't matter what I feel," he responded flatly. "This is what's expected of me."

Azadi called to them. "Ezra! Sabine! It's time to make your speeches."

Sabine and Ezra exchanged a long look. Finally, he shook his head and offered another one of those fake smiles she hated so much and offered his arm to her.

With reluctance, Sabine slid her own through his and they walked up to the stage together.

When the rehearsal finished, they stepped down from the stage; Sabine stayed close to Ezra, keeping an eye on him.

Amazingly, he had done well; his speech had generated quite the applause, with equal parts humor and heart-felt gratitude. However, she could feel that ominous darkness still swirling through her partner's emotions: fear and anxiety blending together and spiking like adrenaline when the fireworks went off at the end.

She watched him close his eyes tight at the blasts. All Sabine could do was just hold his hand with all the strength she could muster.

But he had made it through and she could finally breath a sigh of relief -

A tremor through the Force. Danger, close by -

Sabine moved to place herself in front of Ezra but it was too late. Wine splashed into Ezra's face, thrown from a flute in anger. The crowd gasped.

Senator Xiono stood there, flute empty, his eyes sparkling with glee and malice.

Sabine knocked the flute out of his hands. "I think you've had too much to drink, Xiono," she said coldly.

Azadi came up behind the Senator and grabbed his arm. Two security guards flanked him. "Come with me, Senator," he said. "Let's not make a scene here."

Senator Xiono shrugged free of Azadi's grasp and stepped closer to Sabine and Ezra. "Ten years," he hissed. "You were on that Force-forsaken planet with him for ten years. And you did nothing."

From behind her, Sabine could sense the anxiety spike within Ezra. That ominous cloud of darkness swirling within him began to grow like a thunderhead.

"Traitor!" Senator Xiono bellowed. "My world - my family - bombed to rubble because you abandoned your duty! What use is that power you wield if it's not used to protect the people who need it? The people who are depending on you?"

Sabine shoved him backwards. "That's enough!" she shouted. "Ryder, get him out of here!"

"Guards!" barked Azadi. "Take the Senator away - "

Pain like she had never felt before cleaved into Sabine's head like an ice pick; grief, despair, guilt were forged into the tip. She doubled over, gasping for breath; her heart felt like it was beating a million miles per minute.

Through the corner of her eye, she saw others do the same: crying out in pain, clutching their heads. She heard Azadi yelling something, but couldn't make it out through the howl erupting inside her skull.

It was coming from behind her, she realized.

It's coming from Ezra.

Gritting her teeth, summoning her reserves of energy, she began the daunting task of putting up the mental shields Ahsoka, her master, had taught to protect herself from a psychic attack like this. It was agonizing minutes but, finally, she was shielded enough to stand up and face Ezra.

He was standing still upright, unlike the others; his hands were clutching at his temples. His eyes were shaking, unfocused; Sabine could hear him struggling to regulate his breath, coming in fast, harsh gasps.

In her head, she could hear his thoughts echoing a single word over and over again like a mantra: Starbird.

Starbird. Starbird. Starbird.

Ezra was having a panic attack. His feelings were leaking through the Force and into the surroundings - and the people, also.

Oh, Ezra. Oh, my love.

She staggered towards him and reached trembling hands to his face. "Ezra?" she asked. "Ezra, it's me. It's Sabine. Can you hear me?"

He couldn't see her; his eyes remained unfocused. All around her, the people in attendance were screaming, crying out.

"Ezra! It's Sabine. Please, just focus on me, okay? I'm here. You're safe, it's okay!"

At last, her words broke through. His eyes, still shaking, began to focus on her. "Sabine? S-Sabine? I - I c-can't stop, I'm s-so sorry."

Starbird. Starbird. Starbird.

She took one of his hands and placed it on her heart. "Just breathe, okay? It's okay, just breathe like this." And she breathed, slow and deep, in tune with her heart.

Someone screamed. Ezra's concentration broke, his breathing worsening -

No! Sabine grabbed his face and forced it towards her, pouring all the feelings of calm and peace and love she could muster through their bond in the Force. "Look at my face, Ezra, please. Just focus on me. It's just you and me. Breathe - breathe."

Ezra's breathing began to slow. His eyes began to focus and lose their trembling.

Starbird. Starbird.

"It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry," he whispered back. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He sagged to the floor in exhaustion. Sabine held him close, making sure he didn't outright collapse.

And, all at once, the pounding in her skull disappeared. The crying and screaming around her disappeared in an instant; the audience members began to rouse themselves to their feet, blinking in confusion at what had just occurred.

From behind her, she heard Azadi groan and look towards them.

"Sabine, what - "

"Later," she said curtly. "Get me a medic, now."

Ahsoka arrived hours later to find Sabine pacing in the hallway outside Ezra's hospital room.

"How is he?" asked her former master.

Sabine just hugged her in response. Ahsoka hugged her back, tightly, and then released her.

"That bad, huh?" she asked.

Sabine let out a shaky laugh. "I've never seen him like that," she said. "It scared me so much."

Ahsoka clapped her on the shoulder. "Panic attacks can be like that. You did well, from what I heard."

Sabine sat down on the hallway's bench. "I should never have let him stay there. I knew something was wrong with him."

Ahsoka considered her for a moment. "Has Ezra ever shown signs of this before?"

Sabine cocked her head, thinking. "No, not that I can think of. But we haven't been to the city much since we got back."

Her master raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Just holing up in that watchtower of yours?"

Sabine avoided Ahsoka's knowing gaze, feeling her cheeks begin to heat up. "Yeah, you know . . . just resting. Relaxing."

"Hmmm," said Ahsoka. "Not resting too much, I hope. Keeping up with your training?"

"Of course," replied Sabine innocently. "Ezra and I have a sparring session every day."

Ahsoka peered at her. "Oh, I'm sure you two have plenty of physical activities to keep busy. I'm just not sure it's sparring."

Sabine shrugged. "We're getting a good work-out, regardless."

Ahsoka snorted. "Oh, I have missed you, my Padawan."

Sabine grinned at her, before sobering. "Thanks, by the way."

"For what?"

"For taking my mind off this," Sabine said. "I feel much better now."

Ahsoka smiled in reply. Sabine patted the seat next to her, and her master sat down.

After a while, Sabine quietly said, "He's hiding something from me. When he was having his episode, I could hear his thoughts. A single word, repeated over and over again."

"What word?" asked Ahsoka.

Sabine looked at her master. "Starbird."

The older Jedi was silent for a moment. Then she said, "Do you remember all the starbirds we found painted on Peridea?"

"Yeah. There was a ton of them, if I recall. Ezra painted them everywhere."

"It's your personal symbol, Sabine. Do you know why he painted so many?"

She thought about it for a second. "No. No, I don't."

Ahsoka turned to look at her. "Has Ezra ever told you about his time on Peridea?"

Sabine shook her head. "I didn't want to push."

Ahsoka sighed. "I think it's time you both had that talk, then."

Sabine asked, "Did he tell you about it?"

"Some of it."

"Oh," was all Sabine said. "He didn't tell me, though."

"Why do you think that is, Sabine?" asked her master.

"I don't know," replied Sabine, frustrated. "I'm his partner. I love him. We're not supposed to keep secrets from each other."

"Have you told him everything about your life experiences while he was stranded on Peridea?"

Sabine blinked. "Well . . . no. That's not important."

"Was it easy for you?"

Sabine looked down at her hands. "You know it wasn't."

"But you never talked to him about it."

Sabine crossed her arms. "It . . . it never came up."

Ahsoka gazed at her and said softly, "How can you expect Ezra to be open about his hardships if you do not do the same?"

"He never asked," Sabine shot back. "And even if he did, I don't want him to know about all of it."

"Why not?" asked Ahsoka.

"Because - because it would make him feel bad. I don't want him to feel that way, especially because of me; it's clear he's got enough on his plate, as it is."

Ahsoka laughed. "What's so funny?" asked Sabine suspiciously.

She shook her head, shoulders shaking from the mirth. "You two really are quite the pair," she said, eyes sparkling.

Realization dawned in Sabine. "You think he feels the same way," she said.

"I know he does," responded Ahsoka seriously. "He would do anything for you. Just like you would for him."

She looked at her directly. "Including hiding away the pain you feel from each other. Because you would rather suffer alone, instead of - from your point of view - forcing each other to bear that additional pain."

Sabine huffed out a breath and leaned back against the wall. "Great. So we have to talk."

She grimaced. "I'm not good at that. He's hurting, I can tell. How do I get him to open up?"

Ahsoka arched an eyebrow. "How do you get someone to show their scars?"

Sabine nodded.

Her master smiled and said, "By showing yours."

Ahsoka spoke with Ezra for a few minutes, promising to show him special Force techniques to help ward off future panic attacks when he felt better before departing with a nod to Sabine.

The ride home was quiet. Sabine kept sneaking glances at her partner, but Ezra's face didn't betray anything except for exhaustion after his ordeal.

Once inside the watchtower, Ezra flopped onto the couch and leaned his head back, eyes closed.

Sabine busied herself with making drinks: two mugs of hot chocolate, their favorite.

Okay. Time to be brave. For Ezra.

She brought them over and offered one to him before sitting down. Ezra mumbled a thanks and took a sip.

Sabine watched him carefully, fingers tapping on her mug.

"Was anyone hurt?" he asked wearily.

Other than you? she wanted to ask. Instead, she replied, "Nothing serious. Some bumps and scrapes."

Ezra nodded. She reached out and touched his shoulder.

He flinched away from her touch. Sabine set down her mug, braced herself, and gently reached to her partner's face, turning it towards her.

Ezra was crying; tears streamed down his cheeks, glistening in the watchtower's lighting.

She felt her heart twist with grief at the sight. Forcing a steady calm into her voice that Sabine did not feel, she asked, "What's wrong, Ezra? Tell me what's wrong."

He shook his head miserably.

Show him your scars.

Sighing, Sabine stood up and began to take off her shirt.

Ezra's eyes popped open in an almost comical fashion. "Sabine - what are you doing?" he asked.

Blushing furiously, she just said, "Hush. I'm doing a thing. We're going to talk about this."

"Sabine, you drive me mad with desire, but if this is an attempt to cheer me up, then I'm not really in the mood."

The shirt came free and she tossed it onto the floor, her modesty only covered by the sports bra underneath her shirt. Ezra inhaled sharply, taking her in.

Sabine sat back down, grabbed Ezra's hand before he could protest, and placed it over the scar on her abdomen. The one she had gotten from her ill-fated first duel with Shin from what felt like a lifetime ago.

His look became questioning. "Your scar. The one you never talk about."

Grimacing, Sabine said, "Yeah. I'm changing that now. You have questions, ask them."

Ezra blinked at her. "Okay, then - obvious first: where'd you get this from? I always assumed it was during the war."

"It wasn't from the war against the Empire. I received this before I came to get you on Peridea. I had the map to find you; Shin - you remember her - came to take it from me, on orders from her master, Baylon."

Sabine closed her eyes, remembering the events of that night. The giddy elation from finally finding the way to Ezra. The sudden attack from the assassin droids. Shin, cloaked and menacing, advancing on her with a scarlet blade.

"We fought. I lost," she whispered bitterly.

She felt the heavy gaze from Ezra settling on her. "Shin stabbed you," he said softly.

Sabine opened her eyes and looked directly at Ezra. "She didn't just stab me, Ezra. She killed me. I died that night."

"What? But - you're here. You can't have died."

Sabine smiled a little. "Well, yeah, goober. Ahsoka saved me. But I was clinically dead when she arrived."

She shivered, remembering the sensation of dying. "Do you know what it's like to be stabbed by a lightsaber, Ezra?"

"No," he replied.

"The blade is made from pure plasma," Sabine continued. "It's agony at first; a burning like you've never felt before. Like a small sun blooming inside of you. And then - nothing. Because the lightsaber cauterizes the wound."

She placed her hand over Ezra's, still covering her scar. "You can't repair a lightsaber wound. They filled it up with synthetic tissue, but I don't feel anything there anymore. Not even through the Force."

Ezra just looked at her, his eyes unreadable. "There's an emptiness I carry around with me, everyday. It will never go away. All because I got careless," Sabine finished.

"Sabine . . ."

"Do you know what the worst part of it was, Ezra? It wasn't the pain or the dying; it was the guilt. It was the remorse and the feeling that I had failed you. That I wouldn't be able to fulfill my promise in bringing you home."

After a long moment, Ezra asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sabine drew in a shaky breath. "Because I didn't want to scare you away."

Ezra's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Scare me away?"

"The years without you . . it was rough, okay? You know about some of it. But not everything. I felt that if you saw how messed up I was - I thought you would be disappointed. That I wasn't the Sabine you knew and loved anymore."

Sabine searched Ezra's face for a sign or hint of what he was feeling, but he betrayed nothing.

"Ezra," she said quietly. "Say something. Please."

He let out a breath. "Okay. I guess we're doing this then."

Ezra held up a finger. "First - I would never think that about you, do you understand? Nothing you do would ever change my feelings, Sabine."

Sabine blinked back tears. "Okay."

"Good," he said firmly. "So . . . ask away. Your turn now."

"Starbird," she said at once. "What was that?"

Ezra winced. "Oh, you heard that."

"Hard not to, considering it was being screamed in my head," she replied. "It's my symbol. What does it mean?"

Ezra looked away from her, eyes focused on the ceiling. "Ahsoka talked to you about my time on Peridea?"

"She only mentioned that you spoke about some of it to her," said Sabine, a hint of accusation in her tone. "But you didn't say anything about it to me, your partner. Why?"

"For the same reason you didn't tell me about the origin of your scar," Ezra replied tersely.

Sabine was surprised. "What aren't you telling me, Ezra? You spent all that time hiding from Thrawn, it's nothing to be ashamed about - "

"I wasn't just hiding from Thrawn!" Ezra shouted. "I was working with him!"

Silence hung thickly in the watchtower after that outburst. Sabine stared, in shock.

"You - what? Why?"

Ezra still kept his eyes locked on the ceiling. When he spoke, it was in a small voice, barely more than whisper. "Because I wanted to go home."

He snorted. "Senator Xiono was right. I am a traitor."

Reflexively, Sabine reached out to grab his hand. He didn't yank it away this time; a reassuring sign. "That's not true. I know it isn't."

Ezra finally turned to look at her, his eyes sorrowful. "Isn't it?" he asked. "I collaborated with a known enemy of the New Republic."

"Tell me," Sabine urged. "Tell me everything. I know it's hard, but I need you to be brave for me. Please."

Ezra's eyes widened, his reaction through the Force buzzing with shock and recognition at what she just said. Sabine didn't know why, but her statement had affected him badly on some fundamental level.

Ezra stared at her for what felt like an endless stretch of seconds. Then he closed his eyes and began to speak, each word carefully uttered, as though he were afraid it would break something vital in him . . . or maybe her.

"He came for me, Sabine. Thrawn came for me, in the dead of night. I thought, "This is it. This is how I die.'"

A twisted smile came on his face. "It was so much worse. Dying would have been preferable."

Sabine felt her stomach twist at Ezra's words, but she forced herself to stay still and just listen.

"He knew my weakness. I was cut off, far, far away from home. It's easy to be brave when you have people to be brave for, did you know? I had you, Hera, Zeb, Chopper, and Kanan. All of you propped me up. Gave me purpose. Gave me courage."

"But that was gone now. I survived . . . and so did he. We were trapped, together. And we had nothing but time."

Ezra's voice was soft, toneless, completely empty of humanity. It was awful to hear him talk like that. She never wanted to hear Ezra speak like that ever again.

"I was alone. Alone again. And he offered me a choice: a partnership, to help each other go home. He needed me, and I needed him."

"The Great Mothers," Sabine whispered. "The witches."

Ezra nodded. "He needed a Force user to wake them up. We wake them up, force an alliance, and they get us a connection back in our home galaxy."

"Morgan Elsbeth." The witch who had been a close associate of Thrawn's and single-handedly orchestrated his return.

"I refused him, at first. So much had been sacrificed to ensure that he could never threaten the Rebellion ever again. It was my duty, as a Jedi. That was the choice I made when I left, and I wanted to stick by it until the end. I told him to just shoot me instead."

Ezra went quiet. Sabine, swallowing hard, asked, "What did he do?"

"He did as I asked. He shot me. Oh, not enough to kill me. But enough to hurt. And then he did something strange."

Sabine felt like she was going to be sick. "Strange?" she asked, almost not recognizing her voice; it sounded so weak, so raspy.

He nodded. "Strange. I thought so at first. He healed me. Ordered his men to take me to the med bay. Stuck me in a bacta tank. When I was all fixed, they brought me back to him."

No. Oh, no. She'd heard stories of Imperial interrogations; the torture. Sabine knew where this was heading.

Cold fury seeped into her heart; if if weren't for Thrawn already being dead, she would have flown out right then and there to do the deed herself.

"He asked me again to work with him. I said no. He shot me again. His men took me to the med bay. I healed. And then they brought me to him, again. Rinse and repeat."

"How long?" she asked.

Ezra cocked his head, thinking. "A week, I think. I lost track of the time."

He shrugged. "I accepted his offer. We woke up the Great Mothers."

"Ezra . . ." Sabine was at a loss for words.

"I'm not done, yet," he interrupted. "There's more."

She opened her mouth and then shut it quickly.

"There was a moment, you see. The Great Mothers were, shall we say, grumpy after being awoken from their long nap. They attacked us; used their magicks to turn Thrawn's men against each other. It was a bloodbath. I found myself fighting back to back with the Grand Admiral himself."

"And then they had him. He was going to die, I could see it."

She could feel his anxiety, his panic spiking through the Force. Sabine reached out and grabbed his hand, sending calming, soothing feelings through their bond.

Ezra's breathing, which had been growing labored, began to smooth out. He looked at her and said, "Thanks."

She didn't say anything, not trusting her voice to come out steady.

"What did you do?" Sabine asked, after taking a moment to compose herself.

Ezra smiled bitterly. "I saved his life. The Jedi in me refused to let him die. Even after all that he did."

His eyes were haunted as he continued: "And you want to know how he repaid me? He hunted me down. After saving his life, calming the witches - turns out they wanted to leave Peridea as much as we did. He didn't need me anymore."

"I ran, Sabine. I ran so fast, so far. If the Noti hadn't found me, I would have died from the injuries. That would have been it."

Sabine became conscious that her grip on Ezra's hand was tightening into a vise. She loosened it.

"He took everything from me. My bravery, my belief in my purpose as a Jedi. My family. I had nothing left. Thrawn exposed me for what I really was; just a dumb, scared kid who was in way over his head."

"That's not true." Sabine's voice was heated, saying the words. "You did more than anyone else had accomplished in the Rebellion. You saved everyone on Lothal. You gave us hope!"

Ezra just looked at her, a lop-sided smile appearing on his face. "Gave you all too much hope. Should have saved some for myself."

"You kept fighting, though. You survived the worst of what he had to offer."

"I only made it through because of you, Sabine. Because you told me to keep fighting."

Sabine frowned at him, confused. "I wasn't there though?"

Ezra's smile this time was serene. "You're always with me. Wherever I am."

He pointed at one of the patches on her jacket; the patch with her customized symbol, the one she always wore.

The starbird. Starbird.

Starbird.

"The painted starbirds," realized Sabine. "All over Peridea."

Ezra nodded. "A reminder to myself. You - Sabine Wren - have always been the symbol of victory to me. The symbol of undaunting perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds. I couldn't draw you, though; I don't have your talent. But I could manage your starbird, at the very least."

Sabine said, "Oh."

"On the bad days, I drew the starbirds whenever I could. Partly to annoy Thrawn, who I knew was still watching out for me. But mostly for myself. If I closed my eyes at night, I could imagine you there, telling me to keep fighting. To be brave."

Tell me everything. I know it's hard, but I need you to be brave for me.

"So, I did. I held on. For as long as I could. But I knew Thrawn was still planning to go home. I had to make up for what I failed to do. I could hear his ships, his men, still moving about. Making preparations."

He was shaking now. Coming to the end of his long, sad tale.

"I couldn't wait anymore. I could at least maybe do some serious damage; delay him a little. I made a promise to you - the you in my head, I mean - that I would still be here when you came to find me, but I - I had to make it right. I had to finish what I started. I had to fight, like you were telling me. To be brave."

"It was a suicide mission. But I had to do it. So, one morning, I made my plan and I exited my hut to say good-bye to the Noti."

He let loose a laugh, half-crazed in its sound. "And then you wouldn't believe what I saw."

"What was it?" asked Sabine quietly.

"You," he said. He was looking right at her, his blue eyes piercing. "I saw you standing there. Like a dream, or a vision."

The day I arrived, Sabine realized.

"I thought I was going crazy. I thought it wasn't real or a vision from the Force. I had to say something, anything, to see if you were really there."

I knew I could count on you.

"And then you turned around and you gave me this smile - and I knew it was really you. You had come to save me. Sabine Wren, you crossed galaxies to save me."

Sabine cupped Ezra's cheek gently. "I made you a promise, Ezra Bridger."

He leaned into her touch. "You did. You kept it. I don't know if I kept mine, though. I don't know how much was left of me to save."

Oh, Ezra. Sabine's heart cracked and cracked, seeing Ezra's despair.

She held out her arms and enveloped him into a hug. It was all she could do; all she could think of, in this moment, to keep the person she loved from breaking any further.

"The Sabine in your head," she said softly. "Is she still telling you to fight? To be brave?"

Ezra nodded.

"Then let me tell her to shut up. You've done enough fighting. You can rest now, Ezra. You can rest."

Ezra let out a muffled laugh. "You might want to speak a little louder. She's pretty stubborn."

"Ezra. Stop talking and let me just hug you."

"Okay."

They called Ahsoka the next morning, to tell her of Ezra's decision.

Ahsoka, via hologram, looked at them both, considering their words. "You're certain?" she asked.

Ezra nodded. "If it's alright with you."

The older Jedi smiled. "Of course it is. Take all the time you need, Ezra. You'll be missed, but we'll manage."

Sabine squeezed his hand affectionately and smiled. "Told you she would understand."

After Ezra's break last night, he and Sabine had discussed what was best for him - and for them - late into the night. Finally, they had both come to the same conclusion.

Ezra needed a break. To take time for himself and figure out what he really wanted. For so long, the war and being a Jedi had taken up much of his life. Thrawn had damaged his image, stripped away all that he held dear.

For now, Ezra just wanted to know what it meant to be Ezra Bridger again. Not the Rebel, not the hero, not the Jedi - just Ezra.

And that meant stepping away from all of it.

"I really appreciate it, Ahsoka. And I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "No apologies from you. You've done more than enough. And believe me, I understand what it means to walk away from the Order. Whatever decision you come to, should you return or not, you have my full support."

Ezra looked at Sabine. "Will you be okay without me?"

Sabine patted his head. "I did just fine without you for ten years, goober."

"You got stabbed by Shin and almost died."

Ahsoka snorted. Sabine glared at him. "It was one time," she muttered. "I almost die one time and suddenly everyone gets so protective."

"I'll be fine, Ezra. Galaxy's in good hands, don't you worry. And Ahsoka will be there; it'll be just like old times. Master and apprentice."

Ahsoka eyed her apprehensively. "I hope it won't be too much like old times. Perhaps you'll be actually listening to what I ask of you?"

Sabine shrugged. "Where's the fun in that? Need to keep things lively in your old age."

Ahsoka sighed. "You will be dearly missed, Ezra," she re-stated.

Ezra laughed. Ahsoka smiled and said, "I'll check on you again later, Ezra. May the Force be with you, until we meet again. In better spirits."

Ezra bowed his head at the older Jedi. "May the Force be with you, too, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka nodded at Sabine in farewell and then cut the call.

Ezra stood up, stretched, and held out his hand to Sabine. "Step outside for some fresh air?"

"Sure." She followed him out to the balcony.

The morning was crisp and clear; a gentle breeze sighed through the tall fields of grass. They both leaned against the railing, gazing out at Capital City, glinting brightly in the rising sun.

"What will you do now?" asked Sabine.

Ezra shrugged, smiling a little. "I don't know. Feels kind of nice, not to know what comes next."

He reached out and held her hand. "Promise me you'll stay? You won't leave?"

Sabine, surprised, asked, "Why would I leave?"

"Because . . . because I'm not who I was anymore. The Ezra you loved; the hero, the Jedi. I don't know where he is."

She turned to face him fully. "Ezra. I don't care if he ever comes back. I'm here with you, whoever you decide that is. I crossed galaxies to be with you; you doing some self-reflection isn't going to scare me away."

Any doubts he had cleared away from his eyes when she spoke. He leaned his head against hers. "Thank you, Sabine."

"Anything for you, Ezra."

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Ezra spoke again.

"I'm thinking of trying modeling, you know? Huyang was mentioning the other day that I had 'impeccable' good looks and I have been getting offers in the mail from some big name companies - "

Sabine punched him in the arm. Ezra laughed, rubbing at the spot.

A call came through on Sabine's com-link. She checked; it was Governor Azadi.

She clicked it on. "Sabine?" he asked.

"I'm here. What's up?"

"Just wanting to know the status of you and Ezra for the ceremony?"

Ezra opened his mouth, but Sabine put a finger up to silence him.

"What's the status of Senator Xiono? He still got an invitation?"

Azadi chuckled. "Nope. I chucked his ass on the nearest freighter and sent Senator Organa a message about the stunt he pulled. I suspect she's tearing him a new one right about now."

"Good," Sabine replied firmly. She looked to Ezra.

"Tell him we'll be there," he said.

Sabine felt her eyebrows raise up in surprise. Ezra just shrugged.

"We'll be there," she said to Azadi.

"Excellent! I'll see you there. Azadi out."

Still looking questioningly at Ezra, she asked, "Are you sure?"

He smiled and said, "I can pretend to be the hero for one more day."

Sabine felt her heart squeeze at the sight of his smile. Already, she could she his old spark returning; signs of life and healing.

You're still you, she thought. You and Thrawn thought it had been beaten out of you. But you're both wrong.

She smiled back at him and turned to head inside the watchtower. "Guess we better get ready for the ceremony, then."

"Hang on a minute, Sabine."

She turned back to him. "What is it?"

"I, uh. I had another question for you. If you don't mind."

There was such an awkward earnestness to his expression. Sabine felt her curiosity rise. "Okay. Shoot."

He rubbed the back of his head. "I've been sitting on this one for a while. Since we were kids."

"Uh-huh. And are you going to ask me sometime this year or . . ."

Ezra huffed out a nervous breath. "Just come over here, please."

She obliged, her curiosity reaching its zenith. "Ezra, what is it?"

He reached into his pocket, pulled out a small jewelry box, and bent down on one knee.

Sabine's mouth went slack, her heart erupting into overdrive.

Ezra took a deep breath and said, "Like I said. Been wanting to ask you this for a while."

She let out a shaky breath. "Since we were kids?"

He grinned sheepishly at her. "Cheesy, yeah, but true."

She cocked her head at him, unable to stop herself from smiling like a lovestruck school girl. "Well, go on then. Ask me."

"Sabine Wren - will you . . . I mean, if you'll have me, if you still want me after all this, then, will you marry me?"

He popped the ring box open; inside were two silver rings, each embedded with sapphire and amethyst gems.

Under other circumstances, Sabine would have considered herself honor-bound to make him sweat. Just a little.

But not this time.

Sabine knelt down in front of him, ensuring they were on the same level.

"For better or worse," she replied softly. "Thorns and all. Yes, Ezra Bridger. I will marry you."

"show me your thorns and I'll show you hands, ready to bleed" - Aaron O'Hanlon

#sabezra #sabine wren #ezra bridger #ezrabine #sabezra fanfiction #star wars rebels #ahsoka #ahsoka show #natasha liu bordizzo #eman esfandi

[applecidersstuff]

Not taking my words about Kanej having more in common with Genya/David back, but now, after Row, I’m starting to think of Zoyalai and Kanej as two pairs of siblings who somehow ended up with each other.

Like Kaz and Zoya are the “annoying and annoyed” younger brother - older sister duo, who are the responsible ones and the scary ones.

While Nikolai and Inej are the older brother - younger sister duo, who have so much in common that people sometimes mistake them for each other on the phone.

Kaz and Zoya are constantly fighting for whatever reason they can find while Nikolai and Inej just seat somewhere in the back discussing ships and their adventures.

Zoya, Kaz and Inej absolutely had the conversation like in that meme:

Kaz: So, this is my girlfriend Inej

Zoya *looking her up and down*: you couldn’t find anyone better?

Kaz *absolutely furious*: how dare yo-

Zoya: I was talking to Inej

Inej *trying not to laugh*: it’s nice to meet you

Nikolai finds Kaz hilarious and adores his ideas and how his brain works. Zoya tells Nikolai that spending so much time with “little shit brekker” will get his brain to melt, and Nikolai asks her “in that case my dearest, Zoya, why does Inej’s brain feels fine?” Zoya just shakes her head and mumbles something about Saints wanting to kill her and how she should’ve killed Nikolai when she had a chance.

Inej thinks Zoya is super cool(she is) and Kaz thinks that Zoya is a show off. When they get around each other Kaz acts like he’s a cat, Inej is his favorite toy and Zoya is his owner who’s trying to take the toy from him. He stands between them, makes sure Zoya doesn’t come to Inej closer then ten feet. She once tried and Nikolai swore he heard Brekker hiss.

Both Nikolai and Inej have popcorn and snacks hidden around the houses(or ships) so that they can eat it when Kaz and Zoya start their regular talks. Those talks involve an unbelievable amount of veiled insults, the amount is so unbelievable that Nikolai started a little notebook where he writes them all.

#six of crows #kaz brekker #kaz x inej #inej x kaz #sankta inej #soc inej #six of crows inej #inej ghafa #soc kaz #kaz rietveld #kaz six of crows #kazzle dazzle #kaz being kaz #renew shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai duology #zoya nazyalensky #zoyalai #nikolai x zoya #queen zoya #sankta zoya #zoya the dragon queen of ravka #kanej #the grisha series #the grishaverse #grisha #grishaverse #king of scars #rule of wolves #crooked kingdom

[auroravictorium]

glitch (interlude ii) (k.b.)

Summary: pekka rollins likes to plot. Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship, not seen explicitly in this piece) Word Count: ~550 words Warnings: allusions to coming violence, brief mentions of theft, maiming, etc Genre: too short to really have one

Author's Note: oh man, my fingers slipped and here's the second interlude for the midnights series. the next proper part is coming soon! this is just plot for people who want a very, very brief glimpse into what pekka rollins has been up to!

Pekka Rollins did not like to sit idly. 

He drummed his fingers on his desk, awaiting the most recent letters' arrival. For eight weeks, he schemed up plans and dispatched his closest associates to find information on this Y/N L/N who had appeared on his radar. Each Friday on the evening's eighth bell, he received numerous reports, and he spent the following Saturdays adjusting his plans as needed.

Initially, Rollins expected the girl to merely be a weapon of Kaz Brekker's making. He assumed she would be nothing more than someone caught in the web of gangs in the Barrel, a university student who strayed too far. Rollins would have no problem hurting her to get to Kaz Brekker.

But as the reports came in, week after week, Rollins discovered that Y/N L/N was a threat in her own right. The girl was connected to numerous thefts, maimings, and killings since her arrival in Ketterdam. Most were in the Dregs' name, as expected, but the earliest crimes were of her own accord. At sixteen, she attacked, robbed, or mutilated some of Ketterdam's wealthiest. Her earliest association with the Dregs was the same year: she stole a valuable necklace from one of the Merchants and easily evaded capture. Presumably, that was her ticket into the Dregs. And in the three years since, she'd only become more lethal.

It didn't take long for Rollins to realize that he'd chosen a good target. He could take out a significant threat before she could turn her attention to him, and he could weaken Kaz Brekker in the process.

The door to his office creaked open, and Rollins sat up straighter. A Dime Lion slipped inside, a letter in his hand, and Rollins thrust his hand out. "Well?" he prompted. "Is that all?" He surveyed the gang member, some low-level grunt he didn't care to remember the name of. The glint in his eyes indicated he hoped another letter was hidden on the kid.

"Yes, Boss," the Dime Lion said, ducking his head and looking at the floor. The Boss's gaze had only become more murderous and impatient since he heard about Kaz Brekker's newest weapon. "It's the one you've been waiting for, sir." He passed the letter to Rollins and quickly excused himself, eager to escape that piercing glare. 

The door slammed behind him in his desperation to get away.

Pekka ripped into the letter like a man starved for information. He unfolded its contents and quickly skimmed the words scribbled across the page. Inside were the names and signatures of three men agreeing to be part of Rollins' plot; beneath those was the amount of kruge wanted in return for their services.

He hissed through his teeth. Saints be damned, it was a steep price, but if all went as planned, he wouldn't have trouble paying it. The money would come from Kaz Brekker's pockets, leaving him vulnerable on numerous fronts. Rollins just needed his Dime Lions and the three mercenaries to do their damn jobs and do them well.

With luck, Pekka Rollins would make sure Kaz Brekker was no longer a problem and wouldn't have the power or money to recover from the blows Rollins hoped would land.

TAGLIST: @tonberry-yoda, @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r, @futurecorps3, @statsvitenskap, @sapphiccloud, @casualladyinternet, @d34drapunzel, @noctemys, @whitejxsmine, @so6, @franzelt

#kaz brekker #crooked kingdom #six of crows #six of crows duology #kaz brekker x reader #kazzle dazzle #soc kaz #soc fanfic #shadow and bone #the grishaverse #shadow and bone season 2 #sab season 2 #grishaverse fanfic #freddy carter #the crows #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x you #sab season two #kaz brekker x y/n #pekka rollins #pekka rollins up to no good #midnights but make it kaz brekker

[aphroditestummyrolls]

time for a spare prayer for the wip game 💌

Hellooooo! This is a direct continuation of the last snippet, here.

He must’ve looked a sight for Kaz Brekker to stay silent while Jesper drained his whiskey decanter.

It did earn him a glance, though, one that Jes categorically ignored. After the day he had? It was easy justification.

“Have we found Rotty yet?” He asked instead.

Kaz took heavy steps to his desk, leaning on the edge and casting a careful eye back and forth between Jesper and Colm. “Floating in the Rosenstraat Canal.”

Rosenstraat. Near the old workshop, from before Kaz moved Wylan to the Warehouse District.

“All the way over there? But, Rotty knows— knew…” Jesper swallowed. “He knew where the workshop was.”

“The assassin clearly didn’t.”

He chewed his lip, eager to draw, to do something. “And? Was he selling us out? Was the assassin following him? What are we supposed to—?”

“I don’t bloody know yet, Jesper!”

“Wylan almost died!” It took more effort than he’d like not to throw his glass at the wall. “We’ve been waiting on your bloody plan for weeks, Kaz! You’ll have to either clue us in or admit you don’t know what you’re doing, because if we don’t do something about this soon, I’ll walk down the Geldstraat and put a bullet in Van Eck’s head myself.”

He hadn’t even noticed the others filing in. Nina still looked exhausted— they all looked a little haggard. Hell, Jesper was still bloodstained. And Da was…

He had blood drying all down his front, and was looking at Jesper with that wide eyed expression. Maybe, he supposed, threatening murder is a reasonable bridge too far. But, he’d said himself that he didn’t know him. And that was, undoubtedly, part of who he was now.

It wasn’t like it was something he enjoyed, but he’d gladly kill for the people he loved. And it felt like he was the only one trying to protect Wylan— he took one day off the job, and his merchling nearly died!

“For weeks?” Inej cut in, her brown eyes incredulous as she stared Kaz down. Saints, he’d missed her. “Was anybody even going to bother telling me that Wylan was being hunted by his father?”

“His father did that to him?” Da stepped back into the conversation. Jesper couldn’t help but feel like he would never get used to it— seeing his old da in Kaz Brekker’s office. It was like finding an old farm dog in a fighting ring.

“Yes.” Kaz hissed, and it wasn’t clear if he was talking to Inej or Colm, but he supposed either and both applied. “Let’s get the facts of today established, and then,” he looked at Jesper in a way that used to cow him, “I’ll consider telling you the plan.”

Kaz looked at Colm, then. It made Jesper’s chest clench uncomfortably— he didn’t like those eyes on his father. He was too close to becoming part of something. Part of a plan.

There were a lot of reasons that Jes had kept his lives so separate.

“Colm, what did you see? How did you find Wylan?”

And then, as if he’d been summoned, the office door opened once more, and a pale-face merchling dragged himself into the room.

Jesper immediately set his drink on the mantle, reaching him just in time to steady him. The urge to touch him, and touch him, and never let him go was almost too strong to resist. It didn’t help when Wy just leaned in, sparing him a small smile. He looked pekkid, with clammy sweat sticking his curls to his forehead.

“You’re supposed to be resting.” Kaz rasped, brooking no argument.

Wylan wasn’t so injured that he couldn’t still roll his eyes. “If you want to know what happened, you won’t get far without me.”

Thanks for playing ❤️❤️❤️

#six of crows #wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #colm fahey #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #thanks for playing!

[a-simple-gaywitch]

Weather the Storms

Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey

Summary: my take on the van Eck reveal with Show!Wesper

Word Count: 2104

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, mention of Jan van Eck's shitty parenting

“Do you think I'd give up?

That this might've shook the love from me

Or that I was on the brink?

How could you think, darlin', I'd scare so easily?” - Francesca, Hozier

~

“Are there any questions?” Kaz turned towards the three Crows sitting behind him. 

Nina raised her hand and said, “Yeah, I’ve got one. Who’s the job for?”

“The Merchant Council. Specifically Jan Van Eck.”

“The Merchant Council?” Jesper scoffed. “They’re not gonna pay up.”

“They will,” Kaz stated. “Because we have insurance.”

“Insurance?” Nina asked. 

Kaz turned his gaze on Wylan. “Jan Van Eck’s son. Everyone, Wylan Van Eck.”

Wylan felt the world crash around him. He knew people were talking, but it all sounded like they were underwater. Wylan had known, of course, that Kaz had known who he was. Who his father was. But he had assured Wylan he wouldn’t tell anyone his secret. Amidst the panic unfurling in Wylan’s chest, there was burning anger. His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly as he leveled his gaze at Kaz. 

“Fuck you,” he hissed out before jumping up from his stool, knocking it down in the process. He knew Nina and Jesper were watching him, but he didn’t care. He needed to get away from the suddenly too stuffy bar. He pushed through the door connecting the club to the Slat and rushed up the stairs to the room he now shared with Jesper. 

Wylan slammed the door behind him and began pacing, muttering to himself. But he wasn’t alone for long. 

~

Jesper’s head was swirling with emotions: shock, betrayal, anger. Anger towards Kaz, anger towards Wylan. How could they keep this from him? After Wylan’s abrupt departure, Jesper followed after him, not hearing anything Kaz was saying to him. 

He pushed open the door to the shared room and found Wylan pacing. 

“Wylan.”

He spun around. “Jes-”

“You lied to me.”

Wylan looked shocked. Jesper scoffed internally. Why should he look so upset when he’s the one who lied?

“I never lied to you,” Wylan said, taking a step closer to Jesper. 

“Oh, no? Because from where I stand, this feels like a pretty big fucking lie! What, did you not trust me?”

“No, Jesper, you know I trust you-” Suddenly they were both yelling. 

“Then why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to, I just-” He cut himself off, his eyes becoming glassy. 

“When, Wylan? When were you going to tell me? When were you going to tell me that your father is one of the richest Merchers in Ketterdam?” When Wylan didn’t answer, Jesper scoffed and shook his head. “What are you even doing in the Barrel? Why would you choose to be here when you could go back to a big mansion on Gildenstraat?”

Wylan’s posture straightened and he took a deep breath. Definitely a Merch, Jesper thought bitterly. 

“You don’t know what it was like in that house, Jesper. No one chooses life in the Barrel.” And with that, Wylan walked out of the room, slamming the still-open door behind him. The door slammed so hard the oil lamp on the bedside table rattled dangerously. 

Jesper huffed and flopped down on the bed. 

~ 

Jesper was languishing in his room, twirling his revolvers around. He was still angry- no scratch that, he was still furious, at Wylan for keeping such a big secret. He was also mad at Kaz for not telling him earlier. But he was thinking. It just didn’t make sense. Why would Wylan be in the Barrel if his father was one of the most influential men on the Council? 

Ketterdam’s never really felt like home to me.

What was Wylan’s childhood like? Was it really so bad he felt unloved? He thought about the look in Wylan’s eyes when Jesper found out he couldn’t read, the fear that radiated off of him. He thought about Wylan’s tendency to flinch at loud, sudden movements, like the yelling common around the Barrel or the thump of Kaz hitting his cane against a table. He thought about how Wylan panicked any time his neck was touched.

He was missing something. Something huge.

Jesper was also starting to get worried. Night was falling and Wylan still had not returned to their room. Jesper may be angry, but he still cared about the younger man. What if he went back to his father’s house? What if he got jumped in the street? What if another gang attacked him? What if-

“Jesper.”

He jolted at the sound, but relaxed when he saw who had called his name. “Inej!” She was standing by his window, leaning against the sill. Jesper took three big strides across the room and wrapped her in a hug. “When did you get in?”

“This morning,” she replied. “Kaz had me running errands all day. Otherwise I would have dropped by sooner.”

Jesper’s hands fell back to his sides. “I’m assuming he caught you up on this new job?”

“He did.” She took a seat on the bed. “I know you’re angry, but you have to talk to him.”

“Who, Kaz?” Inej shot him a look. Jesper sighed and sunk onto the bed next to her. “You knew? Stupid question, of course you knew.”

Inej glanced to the side before saying, “Kaz had me tail him for a while, when he first surfaced in the Barrel. He couldn’t figure out what he was doing working in the tannery. So he sent me looking for information at the Van Eck estate.”

“What did you find?”

She sighed. “Not much. Van Eck pays his employees too well to get information out of them. All they would tell me was that the boy was attending music school in Belendt.”

“But- He’s not?”

“And that’s why I turned to the rumor mill. The only one that seemed to stick was that he had run off with one of his tutors.” She saw the hurt behind Jesper’s eyes. “But I wouldn’t put any kruge on that. Go talk to him. Ask him.” 

Jesper scoffed. “He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

Inej took one of Jesper’s hands in her own. “Jes, I see how much you care for each other. How much you love each other. Don’t let him slip away because of a fight. Life brings us many storms. Love is what gets us through them.”

~

Jesper practically flung himself down the stairs of the Slat, the need to talk to his boyfriend practically burning him from the inside out.

“He’s not here.”

Jesper spun around to see Kaz leaning on his cane by the bar. “But you know where he is?”

Kaz was silent for a minute before sighing. “Look, Jes. I hadn’t predicted that you and Wylan would grow as close as you have. And I assumed he had already told you.”

Jesper knew that was as close to an apology as he would get from Kaz. “Where is he?”

“The workshop.” As Jesper wrenched open the door, Kaz called, “Oh, and Jesper? Don’t fuck it up.”

A small smile crossed Jesper’s face. He may not say it in as many words, but Kaz cares about his Crows.

~

When Jesper reached the workshop, he started pounding on the door, panting. “Wylan! Wylan, it’s me! Please open the door!”

Jesper heard the locks being undone, but was not greeted with the face of his boyfriend. Instead, he was met with an angry-looking Nina Zenik. 

“Nina? What are you doing here? Where’s Wylan?”

Nina crossed her arms over her chest. “Kaz sent me to check on him after he ran out of the Slat. His little heart was going so fast I thought he would go into cardiac arrest. When I finally caught up to him, he told me that the two of you got into a fight. And you know what the first thing he said to me was? He apologized. He apologized for who his father is, something he can’t control any more than you or I,” she jabbed at Jesper’s chest, “can control being born Grisha.” Nina sighed and took a step back. “I don’t know what his childhood was like, but Wylan’s been abused. Profoundly abused.”

Jesper looked down at his feet, his face flushing with shame. “I, um, I came to apologize.”

Nina opened the door a bit more and stepped to the side. “Well, he’s asleep now. I had to calm him with how much stress and anxiety he had.” As Jesper walked down the stairs of the lab, Nina said, “Oh, and Jesper? You break his heart or hurt him again in any way, I will make you piss your pants in front of the entire club. Understood?” After Jesper nodded, Nina walked out of the workshop, slamming the door behind her. 

Jesper walked over to the shitty little mattress in the corner of the room where Wylan was laying. He sat on the edge of the makeshift bed, brushing his hair away from his eyes. Even in his Grisha-induced sleep, there was a divot of worry between his brows. Jesper reached out and smoothed over the worry-line. 

Wylan started to stir. He rubbed at his eyes. “Jesper?”

“Hey, Novice,” Jesper said, smiling at his boyfriend. He grazed Wylan’s cheek with the back of his hand. 

“What-what are you doing here?” Wylan asked, sitting up. “I thought you were angry.”

Jesper took a deep breath. “I was, at first. But it wasn’t so much you I was mad at, more the situation,” he admitted. At Wylan’s confused expression, he continued, “For as long as I can remember, people have been keeping things from me. Kaz especially. I’m always the last to know about plans, about jobs, about secrets. And you know how I tend to act on impulse.”

Wylan looked down at where Jesper had taken his hand and linked their fingers together. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“Hey.” Jesper tilted Wylan’s head up so he could look in his eyes. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. You’re right, no one chooses life in the Barrel. I should have heard you out. I should have listened.”

Wylan took a shuddering breath. “Wylan van Eck is dead. He died in the harbor three years ago, and was reborn as Wylan Hendricks.”

“What? Wylan, what are you talking about?”

Wylan looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. He exhaled shakily before saying, “He told me he was sending me to a music school in Belendt. He sent me with two of his staff. Once we were on the boat and far enough out into the harbor, they tried to kill me. The only thing I could do was jump off the boat and swim.” Wylan shivered and squeezed Jesper’s hand, and Jesper wrapped his free arm around his shoulders. “The water was so cold. I thought I would drown out there. But I made it to shore. I survived. My father tried to have me killed, and I survived.” he let out a bitter, hollow laugh. 

“I’m sorry, Wy,” Jesper said, rubbing his shoulder. “I had no idea.”

“I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared,” he admitted. “I was scared you’d see me as some dumb Mercher’s kid in way over their head. I was scared you’d leave me.” Wylan started picking at a hangnail as the air between them grew static. 

Jesper swallowed back the lump in his throat. “Wylan-”

“I-I’m not trying to guilt you into staying, if you want me to move out, I will. I’ll start packing my stuff-”

“Whoa, whoa, Wylan! Who said anything about leaving or moving out?”

Wylan looked up at Jesper, his eyes misty. “You don’t want me to move out?”

“No,” said Jesper, cupping Wylan’s face in his hands. “I want you to stay. I want you to come back home. You mean the world to me, Wy. No little argument is going to stop me from loving you.”

“You love me?” he whispered, almost as if he was afraid it wouldn’t be true if he said it too loud. 

Jesper smiled. “Yeah, Wylan, I love you.” Saying it out loud was probably the easiest, most thrilling thing Jesper’s ever done. More than rolling the dice, more than pulling the trigger. And seeing Wylan’s face light up in a smile made it all worth it. 

“I love you too, Jes.”

Jesper kissed Wylan’s forehead, gripping both of his hands. “Can we agree, no more secrets between each other?”

“Yeah. No more secrets.” 

Jesper laughed, giving Wylan’s lips a quick peck. “Let’s get back to the Slat before Nina makes Kaz send a search team, yeah?”

#jesper x wylan #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #jesper fahey #wesper #my fics #em's fics #my writing #oneshot #wesper fluff

[slightlyunconventional]

HELLO oh my god this took so long it's currently 3am um. LOL 💕💕💕 anyway here's a k/az fic for you it's kinda long like longer than my usual ones anyway soooo yes hi ALSO partly inspired by this ask i got!! but i forgot to actually answer it. @artemisia-darkstar !! 🤭

the heist one ✨ (3.9k words of k/az b/rekker allergies. obviously.)

The Crows had been hired by a wealthy merch of central Ketterdam to pilfer one extremely valuable diamond brooch from… another wealthy merch. (“Rich people do have their petty quarrels, don’t they?” Jesper had said. First world problems.) Kaz had sent Inej out to scout the mansion, to pick up intel about guards’ schedules, locate the target brooch, and note any and all potential escape routes if things happened to go sour. She’d returned to his desk to report just one tiny snag in their plan - the merch was hosting a large formal event at his estate on the exact night they’d planned to seize the diamond brooch.

The five of them stood in the shadows of an alley, two blocks from the merch’s mansion, Nina busy tracking a group of partygoers as they approached, ready to take them swiftly down with her Heartrender power. 

“Just why did that rich prick have to have his party tonight?” Jesper hissed in annoyance, “He has to know we’re coming. There’s no way he doesn’t know.”

Kaz sighed. “He doesn’t know, Jes. Why would he know?”

“Maybe one of his guards saw Inej, I don’t know,” replied the sharpshooter, exasperated.

“Don’t be stupid. No one sees Inej.”

“Not even you, Jes, and I’m standing right next to you,” said a quiet voice behind Kaz. He felt his lips twitch at the corners. 

Jesper started, nearly leaving the ground. “Saints, Inej! How do you keep doing that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Inej replied. She was hardly visible in the dark of the alley, but it was clear she was smirking by the amused tilt of her voice. Suddenly, five dull, consecutive thumps sounded from up ahead as five smartly-dressed passers-by collapsed to the cobbled ground. Jesper winced.

“You’re positive we couldn’t have left this until another day?” he asked. They hadn’t even got inside yet and people were already toppling like dominoes. It could only get worse from here.

“I was about to ask the same thing, actually,” added Wylan. Kaz shook his head.

“The guards’ schedules change daily. I have our window planned out to the minute, and I’m leaving no room for risk,” he said, “Now get those bodies hidden before we fall at the first hurdle.”

Jesper, Wylan, and Nina set to work dragging the unconscious party guests down into the alley while Kaz reached behind a stack of crates and picked up a large hessian sack. From it he produced a bundle of clothes.

“Still no idea where you get all these outfits from,” Jesper panted as Kaz tossed him a grey three-piece suit. He gave it a look of supreme repulsion. “I’m not sure if you knew, but grey really isn’t my colour.”

“It is tonight,” replied Kaz dismissively, throwing a second suit to Wylan and two dresses each to Nina and Inej. He crouched to inspect one of the unconscious bodies, then slipped a hand into the man’s blazer to retrieve his invitation to tonight’s event. Nina was holding up the pale blue gown Kaz had given her and staring at it in scepticism. 

“I don’t know if this is going to fit me,” she said with an eyebrow raised. Kaz sighed in annoyance.

“Well, it’s going to have to.” He held up the invitation letter he’d retrieved. “These are our tickets in there - get yours then get dressed. Make it snappy.”

“Get dressed,” echoed Nina incredulously, casting a wary glance around the dingy backstreet, “here?” The look she received from Kaz was almost pitying.

“Nina, love, we’re in Ketterdam. It doesn’t get much more private than this.”

She grimaced and backed into a slightly more shadowed corner of the alleyway. 

Some five minutes later, the five of them were kitted out in most uncharacteristic formal wear - Wylan and Jesper suited in complementary greys, Nina in her rather tight blue gown and Inej in her red one. Kaz looked, well, hardly different, in all honesty - the black suit was almost identical to his usual get-up, save for his black tie swapped for a deep red one, and the obnoxiously floral boutonniere pinned to his lapel. And, of course, the distinct lack of gloves on his hands, though they were folded carefully inside his jacket pocket in case of emergencies.

“Ready?” he asked. 

“No offence, Kaz,” Inej began. Kaz turned to her with a single eyebrow arched. “But how are we supposed to, y’know, do a heist dressed like this?” She gestured up and down her dress with her hands.

“It’s about fitting in. I didn’t anticipate there being a party tonight - be grateful I’m not making you scale any walls,” Kaz replied sourly. Inej shot him a look before shaking her head. He huffed out a sigh.

“Fine. You can have your weapons on you, all of you,” he compromised, albeit reluctantly, “But if I see so much as the glint of a blade’s edge, I’ll crack your skull with that merch’s diamond brooch. Keep them hidden.” His words were nothing short of a snarl, the threatening promise dripping from his tone - it was clear Kaz would accept no mistakes on this job. He wanted them in and out as fast as possible, with as little trouble as possible. 

Jesper picked up his pearl-handled revolvers, spun them in his hands, and slid them beneath his suit trousers - impractical, but at least they were hidden from view. 

“Still think this suit needs more colour,” said Jesper with an exaggerated sigh.

“You’ll live,” Kaz spat as he strode past him out of the alley. “Let’s move,” he said, “We don’t have all night.”

.

They’d made it inside without a hitch, much to Kaz’s relief. So far, so good, he thought, wonder how long that’ll last. The five stood at the entrance of the mansion’s huge ballroom, staring at the lavish decorations and masses of guests that filled the space. The tightly packed crowd sowed the beginnings of a cold weight in Kaz’s chest that he forced himself to ignore.

“You all know what you have to do,” Kaz said, “We reconvene at eleven bells.” Then, he noticed Nina and Jesper eyeing the bar at the far side of the hall, and sighed. “We reconvene at eleven bells, sober.” He allowed himself the subtlest of smirks as the two Grisha let out a simultaneous, hearty groan. 

So, with Wylan and Jesper instructed to keep an eye on the target merch, and Nina off taking the guards down outside his office, Kaz and Inej were left to, just, mingle. Easier said than done, especially for two of perhaps the least sociable people in the entire Barrel, but, alas, they had nothing else to do until the dinner started. The pair weaved their way through the crowd over to the side of the hall, where they attempted a casual leaning-against-the-wall conversation while also trying to look like they were having fun.

“I don’t have much experience with social events,” Inej admitted, casting a wary glance around the room.

“You say that like you think I have any,” Kaz said with a breathy almost-laugh. Inej smiled sympathetically. 

Despite the sheer size of the ballroom, it was truly stifling. Each and every surface was laden with bouquets of brightly coloured blossoms which gave off a heady sweetness that was impossible to ignore, and the air was thick with the stinging scent of various expensive perfumes and colognes. Kaz wondered how the guests could keep chatting and laughing and dancing while he longed for the soft comfort of his overcoat’s high collar to bury his nose into. The heavy, potent aromas that hung so incessantly upon the air didn’t take long to infiltrate his nostrils. At first, it took up residence as a subtle buzz somewhere deep, far back in his sinuses -  faint, but noticeable enough, though it quickly rose in intensity, steadily becoming worse and worse and spreading throughout his nose until it became an ever-present prickling burn that pushed Kaz closer and closer to the brink. He sniffed determinedly against the sensation, not eager to humiliate himself amongst such a huge crowd.

“What time’s the dinner, do you know?” Inej asked. Kaz had to pause for the briefest moment to regain control over his sinuses, which were still tickling with ferocious intensity.

“Any minute now, I think,” he replied. Mere seconds after he spoke, his breath caught in his throat, and the burn he thought couldn’t get any worse spiked like flames licking against the inside of his nose.

Inej’s gaze briefly flickered over his face before she replied. “...Alright. I’ll keep an eye out for Jesper’s signal.”

“-hhHDtt–!” Kaz’s breath hitched sharply, and before he knew it, he was pressing a gloveless fist firmly to his septum to stifle a rather harsh sneeze. “hhk’NGTt!-huh..”

“Bless you,” Inej said, eyes still tracking Jesper across the room.

“Thahhnk, y-youuUHh–?! ehH’GNKT! Oh, Saints– ‘kKGTtch! h-huh’GNKksh!” The fact that his sneezing was already becoming difficult to contain filled Kaz with a sense of dread - it wouldn’t be long before he’d be unable to stifle at all. 

“Uh, bless you. Again.” Inej was looking at him now, her gaze skipping between his eyes and his nose, which was undoubtedly still twitching and flaring in irritation. “Are you alright?” she dared to ask.

Kaz nodded, averting his eyes. At least it was only Inej and not someone who’d mortify him even more. “Fine. I’m fi-hhehH! Oh, you’ve got to be jokiihh’KNTt! hhih’gGKTtsch!”

Inej lifted her eyebrows at him. “Keep that up, and you just might burst a blood vessel,” she teased. He managed a hazy eye roll before having to duck back down into his tight fist.

“-heh’hehh’kKGTtshh! hhhk’NGTtch! Oh, oh, saints, I- ‘kKNGTts! ‘GNTTtchh-huh!” The tail end of each sneeze kept managing to escape his valiant attempts at stifling, resulting in a quick, itchy expulsion at the back of each stifle. Worse than that, though, was that the more he suppressed them, the more sneezes kept coming - the itch in his nose was truly unrelenting.

“‘GNKTtsh! Ghezen…hh-huh’kKNTtsh’uh!–”

“Kaz–” he heard Inej say. There was a hint of urgency in her voice, but he was too deep in the throes of this horribly itchy fit to be able to even think about responding.

“hhk’KNGT’sshhuh! h-huhh’KXNTtsh! ‘GKKTtschh’hhuh!”

“Kaz,” Inej spoke again, “It’s time, Jesper’s–”

“hhih’KKTTt’shh!” Kaz’s nose simply refused to let up and the fit was inescapable. He was powerless to do anything but repeatedly press his dreadfully tickly nose into his fist and stifle sneeze after demanding sneeze. By now, his head was pounding from stifling so much - but he decided he’d much rather that than watch his dignity fall to pieces in a hall full of strangers.

Suddenly, amidst his fit, Kaz felt an urgent tugging on his sleeve. He just about managed to fight back any more sneezes to finally listen to Inej, though he could hardly see her through his watery eyes, and his head kept tipping forward ever so slightly, reflexively for the sneezes he was just barely holding back.

“Kaz,” Inej said, firmly this time, “Jesper’s signal. It’s time to move.” 

Kaz nodded blearily. He knew he had to get to the merch’s office where Nina was waiting for him, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to walk in a straight line.

As if reading his mind, Inej said, “You need to get yourself together, Kaz. We have a job to do.” Then she disappeared into the crowd, off to swap positions with Jesper.

.

Kaz had staggered, still stifling sneezes haphazardly into his tight fist, to the merch’s private office suite with Jesper close on his heels, sparing him overly concerned glances. He hoped, now, that he’d get a break from that infernal tickle since he was out of the thickly perfumed air of the ballroom. 

“-hhH’GKKTtsh’uh! Saints…” That sneeze felt fairly final - he just hoped it actually was.

“Uhh. So are you done blowing our cover?” Jesper asked, smirking. 

“Shut up,” replied Kaz, the bitterness in his voice hidden by its rather congested quality, “...yes, I am. Just that hall, Saints, why does everyone insist on making themselves smell like a walking flowershop?”

Jesper laughed at that. “You’d rather they smelled like… what, exactly?”

“Anything else,” Kaz said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, there you are,” came Nina’s voice from the office door, “You’ve got no idea how long I’ve had to keep these wretches unconscious.”

“Don’t be dramatic, we’ve hardly been here an hour,” snapped Kaz.

“Ghezen, Brekker, if I weren’t using both hands for my power, I swear I’d–”

Jesper raised his hands up. “Alright, alright, let’s play nice, yeah? Nina, you keep doing what you’re doing, love, and Kaz, get to that lock - we’ve stalled enough as it is,” he said, “And I’ll stand guard.”

Kaz huffed, slipped his lockpicks from the inner pocket of his jacket, and crouched in front of the door. Though he was without his gloves, the cool metal of the picks brought him a slight comfort, and he allowed his dexterous fingers to begin their work on the lock. However, before his picks even touched the keyhole, his chest was stuttering with the need to sneeze yet again.

“-hh’hehH–”

Jesper whirled around from where he was standing guard to look at Kaz. “Seriously?” he asked, incredulous.

Nina looked up, too.“What?” she said, eyes flicking between Kaz and Jesper in confusion. 

“Saints, Nina, you don’t want to know. He’s been sneezing non stop all evening - I had to watch the whole fiasco in the hall - and we definitely could be done with this so much faster if he’d just pulled himself together-!” complained Jesper. He didn’t sound much unlike a whining child, come to think of it.

“You’re talking about me as if I’m not right here– shit, hhehH! hhk’NGTt! ‘GKKTtsh!” Kaz only just finished his sentence; it was punctuated by a harshly stifled pair of sneezes, after which he sniffled thickly and swiped a hand under his nose.

“Bless you, boss. Now get on with it,” Jesper said, shaking his head. Kaz shot him a murderous glare before returning to the lock. It was an easy lock, and any other day he’d have it open in less than five seconds, but now, he just couldn’t shake the distracting tickle building in his sinuses, and of course, with that building tickle, his hands began to shake slightly. He was managing it, though, or so he thought.

“-hhaAH’ESCHHh’uhh!” Kaz sneezed, a violent explosion that came on so fast that he didn’t have time to even consider trying to stifle it. He was beginning to get a little frustrated now - he was well out of the ballroom, so why was he still sneezing?

“Lovely,” Nina said with a grimace. Kaz couldn’t find a retort for he was still recovering from the tearing sneeze that had caught him off guard.

“Kaz-” Jesper started warningly, casting a worried glance at the ballroom doors. 

“I’m fine,” Kaz cut in. One of his hands was working swiftly at the office’s lock, while the other scrubbed roughly at the underside of his now red-rimmed nose. He didn’t need any Grisha powers to feel his heart pounding in his chest - Kaz knew they were behind schedule now, and by no means had he planned for this to happen. He tried to focus on the movement of his picks inside the lock, though it was second nature to him by now, so much so that he’d pick locks without even thinking. One minute a door would be closed, the next wide open. He’d never spared it a second thought. However, in this moment, his focus was wavering, as was his breath, and his hands were shaking once again. The itch in his sinuses had rekindled and was twice as vicious as it fought for control over him. Just get the lock open, he willed himself, just five more seconds, hold on.

Against all odds, Kaz finally cracked the lock. He immediately pushed the door open and stepped back from it, right as his nostrils flared widely. He drew in a great breath and lifted his jacket by the lapel with one trembling hand.

“haHH’ehHRSCHHh’huh! hehH’kKXSCHHhuh! Oh, Sai-saints–” Two sneezes, violent and forceful, exploded from him, shielded behind his lifted blazer. Jesper and Nina exchanged glances before entering the office to break into the merch’s safe. Kaz wasn’t far behind them, though his nose was most certainly not done sneezing. In fact, he felt as though he needed to sneeze even more than before. He didn’t see Nina and Jesper break open the safe using one of Wylan’s corrosive chemicals, because, well, he was a little preoccupied snapping forward at the mercy of his own nose.

“hhah-haAH’ehHKZZSCHH’huh! H-hahh… huh-! Oh,” Kaz sniffled as the second sneeze eluded him, “Fuck, when will this end?”

His sneezes were gradually getting stronger and thus much harder to contain, and no matter how he tried to cover them, they still managed to leave a fine mist upon the air, much to his disgust. Although, he had to admit that it was deeply relieving, and almost dizzying, to finally let out his sneezes, despite the sheer embarrassment of it all. 

“Got it,” Nina said, holding up the diamond brooch. She tossed it over to Kaz, who caught it, pocketed it, and–

“h-heHRZZSCHHh’uh!” -sneezed. Kaz rolled his eyes at himself and sniffled.

“What’s gotten into you?” teased Jesper, nudging Kaz in the side playfully with his elbow. Kaz simply glared back. After a forceful knuckling at his nose, the itch seemed to have calmed down a bit.

“It’s nearly eleven bells,” he said, voice slightly dulled by congestion, “Inej and Wylan will be waiting for us.”

.

They headed back to the agreed meeting spot - the alleyway where Nina downed the group of partygoers and where their original clothes were left. As Kaz had said, Inej and Wylan were already there, seated upon old crates making quiet conversation. 

“How long have you been here?” asked Kaz.

“Just got here,” Inej replied, lifting an eyebrow at the pink hue of his nose, “Did you get what we came for?”

Kaz fought not to pull a face at her. “Obviously,” he said shortly. Jesper cast a dramatic look around.

“So we’re not going to address the elephant in the room?” he asked. Everyone except Kaz looked at him sceptically.

“Our sneezy over here, obviously,” said Jesper with a smirk.

Nina snorted. “Yeah, good point,” she laughed, “What was ruffling your feathers back there, Brekker?” 

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

Inej turned to him, annoyance rising in her stare. “If you’ve come on this job with a cold, Saints–”

“No, I–” Kaz began.

“We would have been in and out a lot faster if you hadn’t been–”

“I got what we needed, didn't I?” Kaz shot, annoyed now, too.

Jesper and Nina looked at each other. “Well, we did…” he whispered to her. She giggled.

“Sooo… what was it then?” Nina asked playfully.

“I don’t know,” snapped Kaz, “so drop it, okay?”

Nina raised her hands in mock surrender and stepped back. Kaz looked around the shadowed alley.

“Where’s my coat,” he demanded. Jesper reached back to the messy pile of their clothes and tugged out Kaz’s thick, heavy coat to hand to him.

“Yeah, you’d best get that jacket covered up. I think it’d make headlines if Kaz Brekker was seen with a flower on his lapel,” said Nina with a laugh, leaning forward to flick Kaz’s boutonniere playfully. The faintest cloud of pollen floated up from the flower, hardly visible to the naked eye, but Kaz’s nose notices alright. His breath hitched deeply almost immediately, and before he knew it, he was leaning heavily on his cane as three itchy, near-explosive sneezes escaped him.

“-ehH’rRZZSCHHheh! huh-huHH’KXZZSHHh’uh! haAHh’ihHRZZSCHHhuuh! What the f-fuck?”

Despite him having braced himself against his cane, the triple still managed to bend him nearly double. He straightened himself, panting and swearing, and sniffed sharply. The rest of the group was rendered speechless. It was a rather unusual scene, especially with Jesper standing holding out Kaz’s coat awkwardly. The dark-haired man stepped forward swiftly and all but ripped his coat from Jesper’s hands, however he paused before putting it on, pitching forward with two more heavy sneezes.

“Fuck offhhuh-hehH’IZSCHHuhh! heh’hRZZSCHH’uh!” Kaz’s lips curled slightly, a crude grimace, and his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

Inej stepped forward with a muttered, “Oh, for Saints’ sake,” unpinned the red flower from his lapel, and tossed it back down the alley. He gives her a funny look. “You’ve been sneezing all evening and you didn’t even consider the flower literally pinned to your chest?”

Kaz said nothing. He was too busy both internally marvelling at his own stupidity and fighting the urge to throw himself in the canal out of humiliation. 

Inej shook her head. “For all your wit and cunning you sure lack common sense sometimes,” she said.

Before Kaz could retort, Nina scoffed. “Seriously?” she said incredulously, “All that because of one little flower? Saints, Brekker. I never thought the great Dirtyhands would be felled by a bit of pollen.”

The glare she got from Kaz could probably have killed someone had it not been for his glassy, red-rimmed eyes.

 “It wasn’t just the– ehH’KZZSHHhue!” Kaz began to protest, but cut himself off with a harsh sneeze, seemingly one that crept up on him with no warning, for he only managed to throw his arm in front of his face in the last split second before the sneeze erupted from him. Jesper laughed and Kaz saw Wylan shoot him a look.

“How about we – instead of bullying Kaz –” Wylan said with a pointed glance at Nina, “start heading back to the Slat. Because I’m cold.” Inej smiled in amusement.

“Thank you,” agreed Kaz with a thick sniffle, “At least there’s one other person with some sense in this group.” Wylan flushed a little, maybe with embarrassment, maybe with pride – Kaz was too annoyed to care which it was. He was already picking up his original clothes from where he left them, then he stalked out of the alley. It wasn’t long before Inej caught him up, and he saw that she’d already discarded her heels and replaced them with her own familiar leather boots. He cast her a sidelong glance over his shoulder, still walking. She matched his pace with ease.

“I shouldn’t have been so hard on you earlier,” she admitted, “You were right. You did get what we needed, and the plan went off without a hitch.”

Kaz stopped walking and turned to face her; she did the same. “But…?” he said, prompting her to continue. She sighed.

“But,” Inej replied, “you’d better not let this affliction of yours compromise any of our future jobs.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why would that happen,” he said flatly, hardly a question.

“I’m just saying you need to be able to keep quiet if and when things get messy.”

“Yet you chastise me like I’m a schoolboy every time I stifle,” Kaz replied, slightly amused. Inej’s lips twitched.

“You know that doesn’t apply on a job. You’re allowed when we need to keep a low profile,” she said, “And your sneezes aren’t exactly low profile.”

Before Kaz could reply, Inej was reaching up to where his lapel was visible beneath his coat. 

“Oh, you’ve got a bit of–” She swiped her hand across the fabric, brushing off a scattering of pollen from the flower that was previously pinned there. Kaz’s breath caught quietly. 

“Gonna sneeze?” Inej said with a smirk.

He replied, “No,” and then, of course, sneezed. “hehH’GNKTt!”

It was contained perfectly against his now-gloved fist, and he ducked down slightly with it – a near-silent affair.

“We’re not on a job anymore, so I’m allowed to tell you off for that,” Inej said, “Bless you.”

“...Thank you.”

#AGAGAHHHH i have nothing to say about this im going to bed. #goodnight hope you all enjoy #snz #snzblr #snz kink #snz blog #snzario #sneeze kink #s/hadow and b/one #s/ix of cr/ows #snzfic #sneezefic