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#kaz: evil cackle-laugh
multi-bookworm · 3 years
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Kaz: surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
Jesper:
Jesper: please never become a surgeon-
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Kaz Brekker x fem! Reader - Irony
A/n: So I don't like this one very much but I found it in the drafts so I thought I might as well, it's also very short! Sorry!
Warnings: Blood, gore, death, insanity
Summary: You'll see
"No, no, no! Stay with me alright? Stay with me!" I yell as Kaz fucking Brekker bleeds out in my arms from a wound from his own cane.
Kaz shakes his head weakly and one gloved hand goes to cradle my cheek as the other ungloved one goes and makes patterns on my neck.
"It's okay."
I laugh but it's broken and it gets engulfed in sobs by the end of it. I don't want to touch him but it seems Brekker can't get enough of me. Ironic.
"Of course you would say that when your dying!"
I yell for a healer but I know it's useless as he smiles at me sadly and starts to choke on his own blood.
"Y/n-Y/n! End it-it. I'm no-not goin-going out by-" He takes a second as he spits out blood probably meant to go on the street but it ends up on my shirt.
"By-by drown-drowning in my-my ow-own blo-blood."
My eyes widen at what he's telling me to do. No! But as he dies here, no one else around, I know that it's useless. I would never want him to suffer.
"Kaz-Kaz." Tears blur with my words as I slowly take a gun out of my left coat pocket. I place the gun right up to his head and my finger flinches on the trigger, but I can't. I can't kill the bastard of the barrel. The only person in the world that holds my heart.
He reaches up with the last of his energy and kiss's me. There's nothing to it except for a dead man's wish to be with his lover one last time. It's not hungry, no it's desperate and telling me that he's happy.
He's happy about what he's gotten out of life.
"I can't Kaz." I cry as I still hold the gun up loosely to his head. "I can't."
He brushes his ungloved hand across my cheek and he grins a bit.
"Smile-smile for me-me, Angel?"
Tears ricochet off my cheeks onto Kaz's shirt, face, and eyelashes. It's then I realize he isn't coming back, so I give him my best smile in the world. The one he said would brighten anyone's day, the one where he said it made me look like a saint.
I smile that smile and I give Kaz a few seconds for his last words and he seems to know it too.
"I don't want to see you up there till your old. Live your life Y/n."
BANG!
The shot rings out bouncing off of the cobblestones underneath us and I sob as I look down on Kaz.
Dead.
"You called for a healer?" A girl, no older than fifteen comes around the corner not even running to see if someone needed help.
I lift the gun up before she has any time to react as I shot her, right in the head.
The same place I shot Kaz.
I crawl desperately back to his corpse and I see the bullet hole in his head and I instantly back away. His eye's once full of schemes and love for me are lifeless. Their glassy and they look up at the sky with a blank expression in them.
A terrible scream rips through my throat as lightning cackles in the distance. Laughing at the irony.
___________________Time Skip 3-4 months, 3rd person Pov_________________
A woman looks outside her window on a secluded island. She watches Ketterdan burn, with an evil smirk adorning her face. The city burns as children and grown men scream in terror as the black flames that take the shape of dragons swallow them whole. She whips around the smirk falling off her face quickly as she pulls back on the gloves.
"Ready a ship, I think it's time to take a visit to our dear friends. Don't you think?" Her lips don't quirk up but madness is held inside her eyes and anyone who dared look at them directly and held her gaze like Dirtyhands used to would surely go insane. Simply because she was not anymore.
Sane such a funny word. Not sane, seemed...
Better.
The boy nods and scurry's off to hopefully find a ship or else he might not survive another day.
"I get it now." She whispers not daring to say his name. "Brick by brick." She turns on her heel passing Pekka Rollins tortured and maimed body as she gets ready to board her ship.
"I will burn them all down. I promise."
Words 747
-thedelusionreaderbitch
Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat
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cantstoptheimagines · 3 years
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Dump, Marry, Kill (Kaz Brekker | Shadow and Bone)
Summary — While playing a casual game of ‘Dump, Marry, Kill’ with Jesper, you’re overheard revealing your thoughts about Kaz.
Warnings & Other Tags ➳ Simple, wholesome fluff and comedy!
Notes ➳ Word Count is 494. ➳ Reader is gender neutral (they/them). ➳ Based on my recent exploits with ‘Kiss, Marry, Kill’ on my blog. With the context of Kaz Brekker’s character, however, I decided to change it to ‘Dump, Marry, Kill’, in order to account for his touch aversion.
FAQ | Masterlist | Fandoms | Requests | Coming Soon | Schedule
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Jesper smirked at you. He proceeded to take another drink of whatever disgusting substance he had chosen from the menu that evening as he tried not to cackle in excitement. You shook your head, scoffing loudly.
“You’re evil, Fahey,” you sneered. 
Jesper laughed again, “Evil and waiting for an answer.” 
After a moment, you finally replied, “Dump Kosma, marry Lorenzo, and kill Misha.” 
Jesper nodded slowly, contemplating his next question, “What about... me, Inej, and Kaz?” 
A loud laugh escaped you before you could stop it. Several patrons in the Crow Club, along with some of the Dregs, turned to look at you. Jesper snickered as you covered your face in embarrassment. 
“Answer the question, (YOUR NAME)!”
“Fine!” you glared at him and rolled your eyes. “Marry Kaz, marry Kaz, and marry Kaz!” 
Jesper narrowed his eyes at you, and said, “That’s not how you play the game.”
“Technically, you didn’t say I had to use all three options,” you smirked. 
Knowing you usually won arguments against him, Jesper threw his hands into the air in an overly dramatic fashion. (A Jesper talent, as he would say.) You laughed at his reaction. You had to admit: Jesper was pretty fun to annoy sometimes. 
“(YOUR NAME).” 
You looked over your shoulder to find the Bastard of the Barrel himself standing there, the golden crow’s head that sat atop his cane being held in a tight grip. Jesper had suddenly vanished into thin air and was nowhere to be seen, now most likely trying to avoid Kaz and continue gambling the night away. In fact, you could see him taking a seat at a table in the corner with a wide smile on his face. Of course. 
“Yes, dearest leader?” you smiled. 
This only made Kaz narrow his eyes at you, before he said, “Perhaps if you and Jesper are going to discuss your... preferences... for what you’d like to do with some of the Dregs...” he paused for moment, “you should both find a place where those mentioned cannot hear you.” 
You couldn’t tell if Kaz was being serious or not. Despite that, one thing was for certain. He had heard you. Trying to hide your embarrassment once more, you did your best to feign an air of confidence. 
“Don’t want to marry me, Kaz?” you asked. “Pity.” 
“Never said that,” replied Kaz, clenching his jaw and glancing around the room for a few seconds. “Simply saying that if you’re going to discuss such ideas about a person, you should probably talk to them... not Jesper. Something might actually come out of it.” 
With that, Kaz stalked away, leaving you rather confused. Had he just...? Did he...? What? You quickly stood up to follow him to the upper level of the Crow Club, trailing him in the direction of his office. Though he remained silent, you had questions that needed answers. The most important one being—
“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Brekker?!”  
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tswiftownsmyheart · 3 years
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(A kanej fanfic)
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The hall buzzed with voices. This amount of kruge must've put Kaz in a good mood for today, thought Inej. She walked through the gambling parlor, on her way to Kaz's room. She would've slid through his window as she always did, but she had some stirring news. Why not this, she had said to herself. She was looking forward to tonight. Even for her, it was one of the best nights she could think of. Outside the Slat, the crowd moved on as usual. She waited by the bar for Kaz to come out. He'd asked her to meet him out there once she had gotten hold of the much-awaited news. "Another shot Kalem," a voice said.
"Did not spend the night at a gambling parlor, Jesper? This day has surely been pulled out of the year," Inej smirked.
"What do you think this is my love?" Jesper retorted in his usual charming manner. She quickly gulped down the shot before he could even reach the table. "Hey! That's mine"
"Well go ahead, take it back," Inej grinned. "Another one for me, Kalem," he said. Looking back at her he asked, "So, what's the Wraith doing here? Anything you need my guns for?"
"I've been waiting for Kaz here, who should've been here a long time ago." Saying this she hopped off the table and walked to Kaz's door. She would've knocked but she'd learned better than that over the years. As she closed the door behind her, she felt something by her feet. A fedora. Kaz's fedora. She walked to his bedroom, but she wished she'd thought against it. What she saw would stay with her for all her days. Something she would've never dreamt of. There, by the window tumbled in a heap was a body. His cane was protruding from somewhere below his chest. The crow's head hung there, dripping with blood. His hair was over his face, disheveled. She couldn't look straight at his face. His gloves were still on but they looked like they'd been through a sleepless night. She heard a gentle plop as the fedora fell from her hands. She wanted to run to the body, hug it tight and mourn. The girl who'd survived the Barrel wanted to find the soul who'd dared to enter the place he would regret in his dreams and stab him with every knife she could hold. She wanted to end the life of the bastard who'd dared to take away Kaz from her. His life from him. A life he survived being the worst demjin you could dream of, she thought. The Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands, the boy who had been through too much, was no more. Rage shone brightly in her eyes. Her fury knew no bounds. She left the sad, mourning girl in the dark corner of her heart which hadn't been visited in long. She would deal with her later. Right now, the barrel would see the wrath of Inej Ghafa. That's when she saw what she should've long ago. A note. It laid on Kaz's table which was covered in papers and maps. She picked it up and dropped it just as quick. She drew her knives and jumped out the window. The golden lion on the paper shimmered as the light in his room flickered.
**************
"The killing was the best part of it," said one voice.
"I'd never thought it would stay the same but it did. It was so fun seeing the color fade from his eyes. Boss would've never allowed us in if he weren't sure of it," said another.
"I'm sure this means a raise. Oh the plans I have to spend it," said a third as all of them started laughing. More like cackling. In an evil undertone.
She would've pounced from the shadows and killed them and then and there, but she knew better. Her real aim lay in the room across her. She just had to find a way to get there. Brick by brick, she told herself. But how? She could've handled the two, but three? Plus there'd be more in the hall. She couldn't risk being seen. She wanted to finish Pekka Rollins. Make his worst wish come true. And she would. She then saw it. The vent in the roof. It was approachable from where she stood. She just needed a distraction to get there. Before she could think about anything, the distraction walked right through the door as if to serve her. As the man walked down the hall, people all around cheered. Loud and crowded. Just what she needed. She used the small dents along the wall to quickly climb the wall, and she was in the vents in no time. She wiggled through the vents trying to find an opening. They were too small, even for her. She felt them closing in with every breath she took. She heard a noise and lurched ahead just to find a grill. An opening. She moved towards it and pulled open the cover from the hinges holding them with one hand. Not all vent covers were connected to the vent. She'd learned that the hard way. She gracefully slid down into a dark void that seemed endless. No light, no sounds, nothing. She tried to find a wall, possibly a lamp or a door. She thought she felt a window. "Not that quick, Inej, is it?" a voice behind her asked. She jerked behind with a knife in each hand but all she could see was the dark. "You walked right into my trap didn't you little lynx?" She lost grip on reality for a second when she heard that name. Little lynx. Tante Heleen. The Menagerie. It all came flowing back to her. "Who are you? Step forward," she demanded. But that one second was all they needed. All around her she could feel the presence. She was about to slash her knives ahead of her but a number of hands caught her. She struggled, fought, tried to wriggle out, but they were too many. The knives were still in her hands. She tried moving her wrists when something, someone grabbed them out of her hands as if the blades didn't hurt the flesh it touched at all. She felt betrayed. They called her the Wraith, and she felt a tug in her gut when the shadows had chosen someone else to shelter. "Come on out you hellhound. Show me your face if you were raised in the Barrel."
That's when the lights filled the room. Every corner of it. No shadows spared. She looked at him right in the face. He grinned at her. Creepily. It felt familiar. The face, the voice. "What business? Who are you?" she barked.
"Oh, not a bad man at all. You're very polite though I see. I'm just here to talk to you." "I am not here to talk. Leave me alone. I want a meeting with Pekka Rollins. I need to even some scores" "Oh, you think he did that?" The hands holding her started laughing. She recognized some of them. They were from the halls.
"What do you mean, think? And what do you know about my business?"
"If your business is about Mr. Brekker and his cane, I know all about it my dear. I had a hand in it too"
"But the dim-"
"Oh, the note? Ha! that was easy to counterfeit. It lead you straight to us didn't it?"
"You mean-"
"Yes yes, I killed him. Very well now that we have got that out of our paths let's-" "WHY DID YOU DO IT? YOU HURT KAZ-"
"Oh no, I never laid a finger on your Mr.Brekker. He is quite safe. Asleep though. It's you I intend to talk to."
"I don't understand," Inej muttered after a pause. Then almost as if the epiphany struck her, she glared at him and exclaimed, "You faked it! That wasn't Kaz! You tailored him. That's what they were talking about."
"Yes you're quite smart indeed little lynx," at which Inej growled, but he ignored it and went on, "Now, if you want him to awake from the sleep he is in, we have some matters at hand. You worked in the menagerie before you became Brekker's spider didn't you?"
"I was slaved there, I did not work there"
"Yeah, whatever. Well, I need some work done. I need you to go back there and collect some information for me. It seems Heleen van Houden has been taking away my customers."
"And why do you think I am going to listen to a coward like you who couldn't fight me himself"
"Because if you don't, I kill Brekker and throw him in the harbor where no one will ever find him." She flinched at that. "Didn't he flee the room you kept him in? I head your guys talking"
"Did he now?" he said pulling away and glancing at his boys. That was all she needed. She elbowed one guy in his gut and he gave away. She lurched forward and broke his nose with her forehead. He doubled over. She picked up her knife and slashed two of them. Two more came but she used the boss, jumped over him, and attacked the other two. The guy on her right had risen, but one swift movement, and she had hit him in the shoulder and numb his arms. She then gashed at another's calf and he fell down. Someone got on her back, but she doubled over, pulled him above, and threw him down, then with a smooth kick, knocked him unconscious. She saw the boss scrawling towards the door and hissed, "Not so soon little guy." She pulled him back, made a rapid motion, and saw drops of blood on his shirt. "That's just a warning," she said holding a blade dangerously near his neck. "Now the business. Who are you? And where is Kaz?"
"I-I own the new pleasure house on the West Stave. Heleen had started taking away my customers hers so I-I needed someone to find me secrets. Leave me, ple-please."
She stared at him for a while examining his features. Something she knew. Something at the back of her mind. She was rummaging through her memories. That's when her eyes narrowed. "What did you say your name was?"
"Ajendro," he stammered. She saw sweat glistening on his forehead.
"You used to come to the menagerie didn't you?" "Some-sometimes..." With one unhesitating motion of her blade, she let the dead soul fall onto the ground, and she joined her home, her shadows. She scaled the walls as easily as you slide on marble. In a quick scan, she found the room Kaz was in. It had the smallest hole in the wall that could be taken as a window but it was all she needed. She quietly slipped inside just to find another dark room. Why they hated lights, she had no idea. This time the moonlight shone through the room illuminating it enough for her to see him though. He lay there motionless. His gloves are still on, she noticed. He had some blood on his face, which meant he had tried fighting his way out. Seeing him like that sent a shiver down her spine. She briskly moved towards him and whispered, Kaz. When he did not seem to respond, she called him again. She called him out a third time and his eyes flickered. "Inej," he murmured. He glanced around the room as if to get a hold of the present. She helped him stand up. "How did they get the Bastard?"
He ignored her and limped to get his cane which was carefully kept in a corner of the room. "How did you get here?"
"It was quite easy. They drugged you right?" Still no response.
"We need to get out now though. There are a lot of people outside." He slightly nodded. She could see he was still hurting. As he walked across the room, she could see his limp had worsened. "Can we take them?"
"Among the two of us, no. I might have a plan though. How's your leg?"
"Good enough to get us out of here"
She opened the door with the slightest click and looked outside. The noise had quietened but the crowd remained. She quietly slipped out and returned in a moment. She looked at him and a mutual understanding passed. Follow me. They slipped out, walking into corridors. He stopped her with her cane when they'd gotten a little far away. "Footsteps," he muttered. They slipped into an empty room in the hall. A huge open window lay open as beams of moonlight entered the room. The sky was clear for once. His hair glistened with sweat and his eyes were like the color of the sky when a storm is brewing. With Kaz, there always is, she thought to herself. She walked towards the window and glanced down. "How good are you with leaps?" she asked him, with a slight smile. He walked to her, looked down, and said "Good enough."
She took out a blade just in case and held out her hand. Hold it, you'll need it. He looked into her moonlit face and reluctantly took it. With that, they both sprung from the second floor of the mansion and into the darkness below.
She wasn't ever going to have a perfect prince. But when she looked into his eyes when they got below, she knew that her fairytale didn't need one.
Credits:
Cover page fanart- @eerna
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adxmparriish · 2 years
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Annual Self-Writing Evaluation
I've seen this going around other fandoms and I really wanted to do this even though I haven't been tagged by anyone lol so here we go
1. Number of stories posted to AO3:
10
2. Word count posted for the year:
80,893 (I've written 97k+ if you count my book that hasn't been posted)
3. Fandoms I wrote for:
TFOTA, Harry Potter, Six of Crows
4. Pairings:
Including side pairings: Helnik, Kanej, Wesper, Dramione, Jurdan
5. Story with the most:
Kudos: black lines and little white lies Bookmarks: black lines and little white lies Comments: In the woods somewhere
6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):
in the woods somewhere, for a lot of reasons. it's the longest thing i've ever written, I forced myself to step outside my comfort zone and write something challenging, I feel like it's my best work I've ever done, and i didn't give up on it when things got tough.
7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):
sirens in the beat of your heart. I don't really know, I just feel like it isn't good at all. the idea of what I wanted wasn't executed well.
8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:
I got a super long comment on ITWS when it was completed from a lovely reader named "roses_are_indigo" that made me cry and I have saved on my phone for when things are hard. I'll write it out below. I am writing this with misty eyes, tear-stains on my cheeks, and an ear-splitting grin plastered on my face. This fic was absolutely insane and I am probably even more insane by sitting and consuming it in one go knowing full well that I have heaps of schoolwork to get to, but hey, the insanity was totally worth it. I love what you did with the characters, I love the hozier title, I love your writing, and I love all those Shakespeare references. Basically what I am trying to say is that I absolutely love this fic with my whole heart. Thank you for helping me to smile, cheer, laugh, and positively bawl my eyes out crying, especially in those last few chapters. It was the emotional catharsis I desperately needed after a particularly tough semester at school. That ending was perfect and I like to imagine that Kaz and Inej become the criminal masterminds that they are in canon and a few years later, the rest of the crows join them for some heists and chaotic crow shenanigans. Again, thank you so much for this. I love this fic so much and I love you for sharing it to the world. <3
9. A time when writing was really, really hard:
Honestly, writing for me is always hard, but it was hardest during NaNo, so much so that I gave up halfway through. I also really struggled through parts of Don't You Know, specifically part 3
10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
Everything I write shocks me, but I think black lines surprised me the most. Just like, the entire thing. When I sit back and look at it, I am amazed at how well it was written. Another favorite of mine is the entirety of ch.7 from ITWS
11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
Nina, please,” the voice says again. “I’m here,” she whimpers. “I’m right here.” She pulls the hand again, and feels something sticky between her fingers. Blood, hot and thick, drips from their intertwined hands. She tries to scream, to run, but she can’t. Something holds her down. Her mind feels fuzzy, and then frigid water fills her mouth. She is finally able to yell, to cry, but the sound is garbled. Water crowds her mouth, her nose, her throat. She claws at her neck. A voice, low and dark, laughs from the trees. Pekka’s face, covered in red, stares at her. The woods wrap around him like a frame, and when she meets his eyes, he smiles and terror grips her like a vice. “Fair is foul, and foul is fair,” he says. He laughs at her, an evil cackle that rings around her. Nina coughs and splutters on the water filling her lungs. She cries and cries, and no one comes.
12. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I think I got better at imagery overall, and dialogue as well
13. How do you hope to grow next year:
I’d like to stop doubting my writing. I'd like to continue my growth with imagery. I'd like to write more, and experiment with different things, and finish my book.
14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
Kaitlyn. No matter what I churn out, she's always there. I wouldn't have written nearly as much as I had this year without her.
15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
Nope
16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
Not really - just WRITE. The more you write, the easier it is.
17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
Looking forward to working on my book. I have some cressworth, kanej, and dramione ideas in the works, and I am SURE I'll have some steamy Jurdan ideas once the year starts.
18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.
@figonas @laequiem @hazelsheartsworn and anyone else who wants to do this!!!! all my writer mutuals, please fill this out <3
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wylanvanwreck · 7 years
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Modern Dregs AU #3
The Dregs at the beach
Nina and Kuwei come up with the idea to take a trip to the beach over the summer
the roadtrip there was a shitstorm
half the time they get lost
and when they finally get there, there are SO MANY PEOPLE
and Wylan ain’t too fond of crowds
Matthias seems like the kind of guy to go out surfing but nah
he likes to sunbathe with Nina
I mean full on, wearing the aviators and reading a book with a little umbrella stuck in the ground nearby to produce a little shade
and ofc he has to be there if Nina needs more sunscreen on her back
wink wink
Jesper would do the same for Wylan except little Wy is huddled under the shade where not even his toe pokes outside his little circle of shadowy protection
you’ve seen the boy, he’s pale af
he burns in the rays of the evil orb known as the Sun™
“hey, wylan van sunshine, your cousin says hello” “tell him to fuck off”
in the shade, he just builds sandcastles since he has nothing better to do
and they’re grand, so he always shares them on his instagram
though occasionally wylan runs out into the water for five minutes because you know, it’s the beach
he takes his trusty goggles with him
and then he returns to the shade
in the end he still suffers a sunburn??? though he’s in the sun for only five minutes??
poor wy
Kaz, on the other hand, refuses to even leave the car for the first hour that they’re there
Jesper tries to get him out
“c’mon, Kaz, might as well enjoy it while we’re here” “enjoy what? building sandcastles and birdshit from the gulls?”
though Kaz will gladly race out to the shore when Jesper goes out to surf
ofc Jesper rides them waves
though whenever he collapses off the board, Kaz always manages to get it on snapchat
“wow, jes, i didn’t know you could possibly suck at something more than Mario Kart” “i will feed you to the sharks, kaz”
but Kaz never goes swimming or sunbathes either he burns worse than Wylan
you will never see that boy in swimming trunks
never
but you’ll certainly see him join Inej on a scavenger hunt for shells
Inej is one of those who wades around in the low tide, plucking shells, finding crabs, and climbing rocks
she somehow gets Kaz to wade with her
he’s pretty sure she’s the reincarnation of Aphrodite
sometimes they hold hands
Nina goes out for a swim once every time they go to the beach
and every time she does, something brushes her foot
“NO, NO, NO, NO, MATTHIAS HELP”
but it’s only Inej
“damn it, Inej, you SCARED me” “they don’t call me the Wraith for nothing”
you can hear Kaz cackling in the background
Kuwei mostly enjoys the beach for the lovely sunsets
that’s also when Wylan ditches the shade and walks with Jesper along the shore (yes, they’re THAT couple)
and as the sun sets, Kuwei calls for a bonfire
so he builds one
Jesper plays with the flames and it worries everyone
“you’re gonna burn yourself, jes” “no i’m not”
he indeed burns himself
Nina roasts marshmallows for the group while Jesper is chosen to DJ from the car
he plays the raunchy stuff just to get Wylan all flustered
“apple bottom jeaans” “jesper, please” “boots with the furrr” “JESPER” “WITH THE FUR”
Nina sometimes dances with Jesper and since baby got back (yes, they play that song) Matthias CaNnOT eVen TaKE It
his face turns redder than Wylan’s sunburn
meanwhile Kuwei is stuffing his face with the rest of the marshmallows still in the bag, enjoying the show
Inej laughs at Nina and Jesper’s antics and it kills Kaz
the night ends with everyone heading to the tide one more time and admiring the moon
you cannot tell me the crows aren’t “look at the moon” people
but the night ain’t over until someone’s thrown into the water
that someone is Kuwei
Wylan threw him
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