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#keep listening to marianas trench and hurting myself
whimsicalcotton · 7 months
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in light of recent events i have cracked and started making playlists for the rest of the quintet
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rose-from-ashes · 8 months
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Ok so this is another long winded ramble about a song in connection to a muse again. This time, it's Masterpiece Theatre III by Marianas Trench, with Emet. This is on mobile so formatting isn't good, I'll go back and edit later maybe.
Masterpiece Theatre III is made of up snippets of and references fo other songs by the same artist, but I have yet to listen to all these individual songs, and the overall song fits together well enough that I don't feel the need to aside from the desire to collect more musing songs. Enjoy!
"I got a new disease in me" - Emet knows that he is changing, that he is not the same person he was before the sundering.
"I got a friend that's losing sleep" - He recognizes the pain Elidibus and Lahabrea are experiencing as well, the trauma they endure and the struggles they have.
"I take it hard, it's hard to take" - He knows that he is a slave to his heavy burden, that it's a task no one could be asked to take, and yet he takes it regardless.
"I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake" - He struggles with sleeplessness, kept up with the thoughts of what he's lost at night.
"One more confession, discretion's not what I need to sell" - He is the first Ascian to give us the truth behind their actions, the first to confess to vulnerability.
"I never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself" - Despite his truthfulness, he lies too, and the lies he tells us are ones he tells himself as well- the lie that he doesn't see us as people, the lie that he does not falter.
"And now that's just how I tell I'm wide awake" - Often, in his dreams, Emet doesn't have these problems. The dilemma of reality is both what keeps him awake at night, and how he knows that he is not resting yet.
"I'll wreck this if I have to" - Despite his determination, Emet very nearly casts aside his attempt at the rejoining of the First for our sake.
"Tell me, what good would that do?" - He knows that we will not be strong enough, and yet he tries regardless to give us that chance.
"I'll wreck this if I have to
"I'd be so good to you
I'd be so good to you" - A silent offer he cannot voice to us- if we can hold the light, he will let us. Allow us to work at his side, care for us, he would be good to us even at the cost of his work.
"You get separated, somebody's gone" - We are different from Azem- we are sundered, very literally separated with shards of us gone.
"And I don't know how this is wrong" - His defense of his own actions, pointing out how much we stand to gain from allowing this.
"And I'm so frustrated, falling behind" - He's frustrated with our stance against him, our refusal to stand down.
"You were a friend of mine" - A reminder that we were once close, a fact that heightens his hurt that we will not side with him.
"Be so good to you" - Once again, his offer returns, to be good to us if only we would set down our weapon and let him.
"'Cause they don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do
They don't know you like I do" - He has a certain level of jealousy against the scions being allowed to be close to us when he knew Azem so well, and knew and fought so many incarnations of their shards. He knows our soul, deeply, and longs to remain with it.
"There's a difference from me to them" - He is alienated from the unsundered, the inherent differences too intense to breach.
"And the road home is paved in star fuckers requiem" - The way 'back' to the world unsundered is blocked by Hydaelyn's destructive action, he can only move forward in the world she has made.
"I can never go, go back home again" - He very literally cannot go home, cannot return to Amaurot, especially as even it's ruins become covered by millennia of sediment at the bottom of the ocean.
"Acadia is gone, Acadia is gone" - Acadia refers to a time, place, and version of himself the singer longs for from the past. It is gone, just as the world unsundered is gone.
"All my indecision, all of my excess" - He recognizes his struggles, his culmination of times he went too far or did not go far enough.
"Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best" - At the same time, he refuses the blow to his pride, knowing he gives everything he has for his love, even when he gave in the wrong ways.
"And I just need a minute, I just need a breath" - He struggles with everything, the sheer intensity of his task and his trauma, and needs to pause at times.
"It's very hard to drink to my continued success tonight" - Even directly after rejoinings, it's hard to be happy with his achievements, knowing that this success is brought from the pain and deaths of so many sundered beings.
"And I slow down, slow" - After the last calamity, he takes a little time to slow down, to rest and prepare for the next.
"It's better in the worst way
It's getting better in the worst way" - The state of the world is improving with rejoinings, at the cost of violent, destructive calamities.
"Look around, 'round, look around, 'round, look around
Look around, 'round, look around, 'round, look around
Look around, 'round, look around, 'round, look around
Look around, 'round, look around, 'round, look around" - If we view the previous stanza as the seventh umbral calamity, then this is the five year period after, as Solus dies and Emet begins a new life, looks around and processes his current reality.
"So here's another day I'll spend away from you" - Another lifetime now that Solus is dead, practically a day in Emet's eyes.
"Another night, I'm on another broken avenue" - He's once again on the path of destruction, looking to the next calamity to bring.
"Trading in who I've been for shiny celebrity skin" - Trading in Emelian for the Solus clones, well known and influential individual with convenient use to him.
"I like to push it and push it until my luck is over" - He's pushing the star, bringing in the next calamity significantly faster than he normally would.
"I wonder what you're doing" - His watching the warrior of light, watching their story progress.
"I wonder if you doubt it" - His introduction to us, knowing we do not believe his offer of cooperation.
"I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it" - He finds us refreshing, wonders every time how he lived so long apart from us even as he knows that it will end poorly.
"All the work to impress" - All his work to manipulate the world, influence events.
"Charming girls out of their dresses" - Charming people to use their positions, making convenient heirs and offering no emotional support.
"Smiling pretty and gritty" - Even as he charms and influences, it grates at him, the knowledge of his own falseness and purpose among mortal obliviousness.
"I am right beside you, right
I am right beside you" - Once again he finds himself at the side of a shard of Azem, aiding us and supporting us.
"And I'll make this perfect again" - He remains determined to rejoin the world, to bring back his people, his "perfection".
"If I burn out and slip away (what you want, what you need)" - He knows there is a chance he will die at our hands.
"You're beautiful, you are (what you want, what you need)" - Despite this, he cannot bring himself to hate us, even when he acts in anger.
"I've been here so very long" - He's lived a thousand thousand lives, by his own words.
"(I could slip into you, it's so easy to come back into you)" - And yet every time, he finds it so easy to return to us, even on enemy sides.
"I'll hide in, can I hide in you a while?" - A selfish desire on his part to hide from himself and his purpose for a while, remain with us.
"(I'm not sick of you yet, is that as good as it gets?)" - Even having lived so long, he never gets tired of us.
"(And this is just the part I portray) I never took you for a drink but" - He has so many times allowed lives to pass by without ever truly reaching out to Azem or their reincarnations.
"(And this is just the part I portray) Sometimes I don't know what you want" - Part of this is because he knows that though they were his friend before, their sundered parts are not, and sometimes they do not want him.
"I can take it if you need to take this out on someone" - A self depreciating desire to be something for them, even just a punching bag.
"(And this is just the part I portray)
(And this is just the part I portray)" - He knows that the various masks he wears are not him, but he has lost who he truly is.
"I don't know how it got this way" - He is helpless to the cycle of fighting the warriors of light again and again, and yet still wishes he could be their friend again, doesn't understand why they can't just be at his side like they used to be.
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brckenboi · 1 year
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[ Dallon Michael Morrow ]
Over: Jimmy Eat Wrold
I really need to hear how great I am, 'Cause I can't even get up out of bed. Now say it like you mean it. it doesn't matter how I really feel. Sing it back softly. You got to be strong and I've been empty oh so long.
Blood//Water: Grandson
Oh, the people ain't happy and the river has run dry. You thought you could go free but the system is done for. If you listen real closely there's a knock at your front door. We'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter. What you gon' do when there's blood in the water? The price of your greed is your son and your daughter. What you gon' do when there's blood in the water?
Say Anything: Mariana's Trench
Everybody wants a piece of you everyone takes a piece of me That one stings a little, I'm always in the middle I don't expect but try me and you will always find me here This is where I scream from. You can take it all away and I'll miss, There's a little bit of you in all this. And you can say you only think you know. Please, there's a better bit of me to see yet, Cause you haven't seen any of my best. You know I hate myself without you now. Hurts the same when nobody knows I guess that's just how it goes and I won't say anything at all.
Blood in the Cut: K.Flay
Guess I'm contagious, it'd be safest if you ran. Fuck, that's what they all just end up doing in the end. Take my car and paint it black, take my arm break it in half. Say something, do it soon, it's too quiet in this room. I need noise, I need the buzz of a sub. Need the crack of a whip, need some blood in the cut.
As You Fade Away: Neffex
I think I need help, I'm going through hell. I fake like I'm fine, but I know you can tell. Like nothing I've felt, my mind overwhelms I think that I'm broken, but I hope you can help. I know I'm not perfect but some days I feel far more worthless Baby, you make me feel nervous. If I still have you I have purpose, it's all worth it. I know you told your friend you're not okay And tell me what's wrong and why you never said you felt that way I guess you try to stay strong and fake a smile until I look away But I've known you too long. It hurts to watch your blue eyes fade to gray as you fade away.
23: Jimmy Eat Wrold
No one else will know these lonely dreams. No one else will know that part of me. I'm still driving away, and I'm sorry every day. I won't always love these selfish things. I won't always live not stopping.
I Think I'm Okay: MGK
Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night. Catch me, I'm the one on the run away from the headlights. No sleep, up all week wasting time with people I don't like. I think something's fucking wrong with me. Drown myself in alcohol, that shit never helps at all. I might say some stupid things tonight when you pick up this call. I've been hearing silence on the other side for way too long. I can taste it on my tongue, I can tell that something's wrong but, I guess it's just my life and I can take it if I wanna.
Nothing Inside: MGK
I keep doing that thing where I'm thinking again, I got skeletons in my closet. I got nightmares sleeping again, I gave you my heart you lost it. She's a girl from a small town, But we're in the big city and she's in my passenger seat right now. 'Cause we live in a small world, I told her, "It's all yours but I need to know if you're down" I can't help it. I did this all for you, look what I turned into. She looked dead into my eyes and she saw nothing inside.
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void-chara · 1 year
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Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives is sooooo lawlight. Specifically L POV directly after Light regains his memories
“Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me
Remember when I could tell you not to smile when you were mad? And you would always crack And we’d both be laughing in the end Now you’re not so quick to forget”
Like AUGH. yep! Not sure what’s gonna happen next, who’s gonna do it, is he gonna die? He knows that someone’s not getting out of this alive. Is he dying literally? Or a metaphorical death of like. If you were here when I discovered phantoms by mariana’s trench know I’m obsessed with like. Them still “dying” when they have to go on living without each other. and like. The remember part being L reminiscing on when he and light. Well. They didn’t get along. But they had to work together and clearly they got along well enough to share a living space for however many months. Whereas now light remembers being Kira again. And so he’s not intentionally acting different but L can tell, L can read him to know how he holds onto resentments more, how he remembers more. OUGH. AUG. OW. I’m hurting myself. Actually wait I started in the middle but let’s go over the beginning too.
“The words I speak are wildfires and weeds They spread like some awful damn disease I swear I didn’t mean what I said I swear I didn’t mean it
Now listen close, you owe me ears for dropping eaves Forget it all, you caught me in a moment weak Sometimes I just can’t help myself Sometimes I can’t help myself at all”
You have to stretch your imagination a bit but this is very rain scene and a bit foot scene. You know from the anime, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t in the manga but idk I haven’t gotten to that part of the manga yet. Anyway! L being unsure of his words and thoughts, a moment of weakness, Very much that part of ep 25 when they’re on the rooftop in the rain and also a bit L in the infamous foot scene, though it’s not quiiitee right for that. Or we’ll everything is good for that but like there’s not Enough for that. There’s a lot going on there. But that’s what the rest of the song is for! Ok now back where we left off at the start of the post.
“Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me This will be the death of me All is fair in love and war, but I can’t fight with you anymore This will be the death of me”
Aaaaa. He wants to stop but he knows if he does he’s dead. He wants to just keep playing his games with Light, but he knows they’re at the finish line, if they keep playing they will reach the end and someone’s gonna die. He doesn’t want to stop playing, but he either stops now and whatever Kira is planning takes him out, or he keeps going an either he dies anyway or light does. The game is ending soon but he just wants to keep going, but he can’t, he can’t fight with light much longer, and he’s not even sure whether he wants to, if that’s the game he even wants most, but it’s the only one he has and there’s no other options. Someone’s gonna die and it’s probably gonna be him.
“What happens now? Do we have another go? Do we bow out and take our separate roads? I’ll admit I’ve had my doubts But I want to be let in, not out But I want to be let in, not out”
he’s not sure what’s gonna happen next. He’s not sure what he wants to happen next. he’s had his doubts about the Kira case before, but now he knows he’s right, and he doesn’t wanna stop just cause he’s confident he’s right, because he knows there’s more, he knows they’re more to see and understand, things he’s never even considered possible, and he wants to know and understand everything. He needs to know everything there is to know about Light and Kira, and he’s not sure which intrigues him more, but he’s not ready for there game to stop, for them to part ways. But he knows they will, he’s to smart to think this ends any other way. One of them is dying. He knows himself, and he knows Kira, and so he knows that this cannot end with both of them still standing.
I’m obesssedd with them!!! New song for my lawlight playlist aw yeah. Also the song is really good I’m gonna listen to more of the band this is pretty cool
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bosspigeon · 3 years
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thinking about Juni breaking things off with Mason because he jumped on the chance to sleep with him even though he’s literally never done “casual” before in his life bc he figured he would take whatever Mason was willing to give, but he fell way too hard way too fast and Mason giving him all these little tidbits of affection but forcefully denying anything deeper between them is breaking his heart bit by bit and he can’t handle it anymore
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alkalinefrog · 3 years
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If you were to make a Lawlight playlist, what songs would you have on it?
OHOHO ohhh man, bless you for this ask
Ok, I wanted to tell the story of their relationship from when they first meet, their cat-and-mouse rivalry, their bonding during yotsuba arc, the betrayal, making up, and wrap it all up with a happy ending! I’m also really into making playlists with fun transitions between songs.
Here ya go, listen to them in order for the full experience! I made a youtube playlist for it here
Fight the War - Kittie Harloe
Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer
Such a Whore (Stellular Remix) - JVLA (this one’s optional lol)
Made for You - OneRepublic
Great Big Storm - Nathan Ruess
Read My Mind - The Killers
Someone To You - BANNERS
Geronimo - Sheppard
You Light My Fire - Nate Ruess
If I Lose Myself - OneRepublic
The Death of Me - Marianas Trench
Porcelain - Marianas Trench
Lights Out, Words Gone - Bombay Bicycle Club
Lost My Mind - Alice Kristiansen
Blood // Water - grandson
Lions and Dragons - Zach Williams
To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra
Only the Lonely Survive - Marianas Trench
If you listen to it, lemme know what you think! If you wanna know more about each song choice, read my play-by-play expo below the cut!
Fight the War - Pre-relationship! The cat-and-mouse chase. The game of chess. Catch me if you can! Not romantic yet, we’re setting the stage!
Teeth - This one’s pretty self-explanatory LMAO. Their first meeting and it’s electric! They hate each other, but they’re catching feelings, and they hate that they’re catching feelings.
Such a Whore (Stellular Remix) - Aight, hear me out. Their relationship’s got layers. This one’s super love/hate and spicy lol. It’s pretty self-indulgent. You can omit this one if you want, it’s admittedly the weakest link in terms of playlist flow.
Made For You - Still dancing around one another, sizing the other up. (also love the church-like vocals at the end. Perfectly eerie! It really fits the themes of the show) --- and I’m REAL PROUD of the transition here between songs
Great Big Storm - Yotsuba arc time! Tonal shift! This one’s sort of when their relationship transitions into something more genuine; more supportive. Things start to get more joyful! I see it as mostly from Light’s perspective, especially the verse lyrics about falling asleep --- “But sometimes I fall sleep at night, and I just know you're smiling at me / Oh, one day I'm gonna make this up to you“
Read My Mind - They’re stuck together 24/7. They can’t avoid talking, man. But the more they talk, the more they find they intuitively understand the other. They start not-so-subtly flirting (”A subtle kiss that no one sees”) ---- also love this line for them: “Woman, open the door, don't let it sting /  I wanna breathe that fire again“
These next few are just more relationship vibes! Bonding time!
Someone To You - L’s POV! He’s falling, and falling HARD. He wants to come out of the shadows for Light-- to give him the world! I imagine that this is still all in his head. Daydreaming about what could be!
Geronimo - Deciding to take the plunge! I imagine this like a montage.
You Light My Fire - CELEBRATE! Both of them are super giddy! I like the lyrics about going to bed after a fight for them! “I wanna throw the fight and kiss away your pain tonight But that would only make this harder She can't stand to sleep alone, ah no, and I hate losing so I wait till we get tired“
If I Lose Myself - First-time vibes :’D awww
The Death of Me - They wake up one day and realize: “Oh. Oh no. This is a bad idea, a really REALLY bad idea--- but I can’t help it!” Tonal shift back and forth from hype to introspective back to hype for the internal argument. The lyrics are pretty on the nose lol. (the end of the song also has some creepy whispering ‘cuz it’s supposed to be listened to in the context of the album, but it helps lead into the next song SO WELL.)
Porcelain - This is a moment of weakness. Someone slips up; something’s brought to the light. They’re only human. No going back now.
Lights Out, Words Gone - Angst time! They comforted each other during the last song, but neither of them like being vulnerable. They have a lot of work to do if this is going to last. They make up by the end of the song. Love the lyrics about lies! Pretty apt for these two: “Keep your old and wasted word My heart is breaking like you heard But the town has always turned These lies and made them all burn”
Lost My Mind - Gently falling deeper and deeper. Too fast; too soon. They know they’re running out of time, but it’s so easy to ignore that when they’re with each other.
Blood // Water - KIRA’S BACK. BETRAYAL. REALITY COMES CRASHING DOWN. (I really like the transition into this one)
Lions and Dragons - The aftermath of the betrayal. Light’s the Dragon, breathing fire, and L’s the Lion, burned. “I lost you again And I lost my mind And I told folks that they Shouldn't call for a while You should write me one evening And point out all the problems that happened But I'll still wait and dream That you are the lion and I am the dragon” (lowkey, this was my go-to breakup song in college lol)
To Build a Home - They’ve both hurt and been hurt. They’ll never forget, because if they did their forgiveness would be meaningless. Light remembers everything he’s done -- he’ll never not be Kira. But they’re ready to move forward. They’ve chosen each other.
Only the Lonely Survive - Bringing the mood back up! I couldn’t not end this on something upbeat. They deserve to have some fun! Love the lyrics in this one for them! They’ve accepted what their relationship will always be, and embrace it! (I also love that the harmonization makes it sound like they’re singing to each other) “I don't know how you feel yourself But I'd rather hurt here than be happy somewhere else No one will scar me like you do But no one will ever be compared, compared to you” -------AND “But I know A love like this will end in tragedy You know Every kiss suspendin' gravity Burns us both To love this close We lose ourselves And I know we won't get out alive But only the lonely survive” (If I can find the time I’d love to animate them singing this chorus)
And that’s that! If you want an album for Lawlight vibes, I highly recommend “Phantoms” by Marianas Trench. It was hard not to just copy/paste all the songs from it into the playlist.
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PROMPTS: Masterpiece Theatre Lyrics
reblog this if you want someone to send you a number + oc or pairing so you can create a answer of anything you desire so long as it is inspired by the lyric chosen! you can even do dialogue prompts with these!
these are all lyrics from the phantoms album which is by marianas trench because their music deserves more! i may do their other albums if this does well!!
"I remain so lost and buried under everything that I need, when all I want is you."
"I could wreck it if I had to but I'm the wreck so what would that do?"
"But this is just a part I portray."
"It only hurts me to be near you."
"Careful, follow my instruction and I will show you self-destruction."
"I'm losing and, this is my real life.."
"This habit is always so hard to break."
"I don't wanna be the bad guy"
"I thought you wanted me, 'cause I want you all to myself."
"I just can't decide what I'm running from."
"So here's another day, I'll spend away from you."
"Take me with you, I start to miss you."
"Take me home, I don't wanna be alone tonight."
"I wonder how we used to ever go so long without it."
"I don't know where to go, I'm going back to you."
"And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up and I will hide you when it gets too much"
"I'll be right beside you."
"When you try to speak but you make no sound and the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud."
"I could do worse and you could do better."
"But my unsteady heart’s not ready, you'd only get what's left of me."
"Every memory comes on when I hear that old song that we used to sing with the words all wrong."
"But I remember where it began at."
"They know you're lonely and they will only break your heart."
"You just need me to be stable but I won't be able to keep it together again?"
"Don't you ever tell me I'm not lovin' you best."
"And I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up."
"Sorry is never there when you need it."
"And now I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone."
"I'd be so good to you."
"Maybe I only see what I want."
"Just got caught between someone I just invented, who I really am, and who I've become."
"I like to push it and push it until my luck is over."
"Smiling pretty, well pretty will swallow you forever."
"I'd never guess how we ever could have got here."
"You know I thought you were my friend."
"There's a piece of me they're throwing back at us."
"I like to say that it's easy to stay. But it's not for me, 'cause I'm barely here at all."
"What you want, what you need has been killing me. Try to be everything that you want me to be."
"This is good in a bad way."
"It's better this way."
"Now I'll change everything, I'll make this perfect again."
"I wish we could stay here forever alone."
"Sometimes I wish you would leave me."
"You're still the best more or less, I guess, I guess."
"Don't you leave me."
"Well, I'm not sick of you yet, is that as good as it gets?"
"It hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay."
"It hurts me to say that I want you to stay, but it might be alright if you go."
"I never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself."
"There's a difference from me to them."
"I could take it if you need to take this out on someone."
"I don't know how it got this way."
Phantom Prompt List: ( X )
Astoria Prompt List (c.s)
Fix Me Prompt List (c.s)
Listen to Masterpiece Theatre here on Spotify!
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im-the-punk-who · 3 years
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1, 2, 3, 7, 17?
1. 3 Fears
This is ridiculously cliche but my biggest fear is falling into the same patterns of abuse my parents did. I know I have some of the same tendencies towards anger and selfishness particularly that my dad has(we’re literally....the same person...except I’m very gay) mixed with the oh-so-human urge to not want to take the blame for anything that my mom instilled in me from a very young age. That good good parental trauma!
Breaking a bone that goes through the skin or becoming (more) physically disabled than I am already. The bone thing is related to the disability thing but I saw too many gore movies as a kid and became convinced that I was going to take a misstep and my tibula was going to crack in half and I would literally rather die than sustain serious injuries lmao. Which is ironic bc I’ve broken both my knees and back! But basically, physical exercise is a huge part of my mental health and the fear that could be taken away from me is Real.
Hurting someone and not knowing. Sort of related to the first one, but I am always very worried that I’ve upset someone just by virtue of the fact that I struggle in social situations. I’ve had a lot of friends neglect to tell me things I was doing were bothering them until after they’d festered to the point of destroying the relationship and that kind of really fucked up my ability to believe I can build healthy relationships and have like, an accurate sense of the reality of how I interact with people.
FUN!
2. 3 things I love
Music + Singing - Seriously music is literally the most important thing to me. I love the connections you can build through music, how it pulls at your soul. It’s also just fun and lets me get out of my own head for a while. Also I’m like, really good at singing and that’s just a nice ego boost lmao.
Teaching - I really actually love sharing knowledge and helping people understand things that I understand. This is a big reason I started dog training, actually, is that I’m really good at getting people to understand the overarching concepts behind why I do what I do when I train, and seeing the dogs be able to start being really successful is an amazing feeling. But literally any kind of knowledge sharing is really personally rewarding for me and I love it when I see someone ‘get it’ yknow. Chef kiss.
This is a tie between movement and nature. They both serve the same basic purpose of helping to quite the chaos. Movement because I can focus on how I move my body and make it do some really cool things, and that keeps me occupied away from my thoughts. 
Nature is much the same - especially forests and running water(lmao listen I’m a walking autism cliche, I know. I’m aware.) I can sit in the middle of a forest or at the edge of a river or the ocean and focus on those sounds, the movement, the energy, and it just takes me out of myself and brings me a lot of peace.
3. 2 turns on
Kindness and cheekbones. Rip to everyone else but I’m a very simple bisexual - if someone is kind and has strong cheekbones I would simply marry them.
7. How tall am I
5′7″ which is like 170 cm. Like I said, thoroughly average!
17. Favourite song
Gosh I have so many but right now it’s ‘Stutter’ by Marianas Trench
Ask me more things!!
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kayliemusing · 3 years
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37
flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? - I think a few hours ago lol
fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - how does it everything work out in the end
daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - i don't really have one yet
1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - When I was 8, my family and I were driving home from the christmas eve service. It was snowing big fluffy snowflakes and i was in a sparkly dress in the backseat. rascal flatts was playing 'god bless the broken road' on the radio and we were all sitting in this really nice content silence.
matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - I think I'd try to do more, go out more, experience more, write more.
black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Write a novel(s) / write successful novels - Fall in love - finally go to a taylor swift concert lol
pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - My mom is someone I super close to. She has these vibrant blue eyes that literally carry an ocean of good things. She has a warm soul and she always uses her energy to lift other people up or just to hold their hand when life is rocky.
moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - Yes
stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - I don't remember. A while ago I think. Maybe like last september-ish and I only remember that because my job did a really not cool thing to me and I cried when I told my mom and then cried when I told my best friend lol
plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - My mom because we could talk about life while stargazing.
converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - maybe. if i felt super comfortable with them and it was the right time for it, then probably.
lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - I don't know, actually. Probably not since high school or roughly around then bc i'm always asleep by 10 pm lol. it was probably with one of my friends.
handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - I'd probably tell my mom thank you for everything she's done and had to sacrifice for me/our family, and i'd tell her i loved her.
cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - Beautiful! Bright! Lovely! God tier! Wow!
sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - "I couldn't get the boy to kill me but I wore his jacket for the longest time" by Richard Siken. First of all, this quote makes me like !!!!! just exclamation marks!!!! I think I just love the poetry and the subtext in this quote, because it's kind of like being haunted by this boy was in itself its own kind of death. So like yeah you didn't kill me, but you haunt me instead.
oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - What The Hell Is This: a memoir by me
overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - Buy a house and move to a different city, invest a lot of it, buy a car, buy another cat, send money to charity, quit my job.
combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I'm a forgiving person when I feel like someone is worth forgiving, which I kind of don't like about myself because I don't know if that's necessarily the right thing. I don't like that I feel like people have to earn forgiveness, but if I'm hurt by someone or someone has hurt someone I love, I tend to hold grudges and I will especially hold grudges if the hurt or offense is never addressed. But if someone were to apologize and I felt like they were sincere and they gave me a good explanation for the actions, I'm definitely forgiving then.
winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - n/a
pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - pastel
tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - I don't mind some tattoos and piercings, but I don't like tons of piercings and I definitely don't like tattoo sleeves or anything like that lol. You do you, but I could never lol.
piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - Generally, yeah. It depends on my mood that day. Sometimes I'll wear a full face, other times I'll do bare minimum or nothing at all. Makeup makes me feel nice and it can really make your features pop.
bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - Taylor Swift baby. Taylor has been such an inspiration to me as a writer and a human being. I think she sees the world very vividly and very romantically, and I love that about her. I love that she's kind-natured, even when the world tries to put a masochistic spin on her, she's simply just good. I love her honestly and vulnerability in her story-telling, and I love the work-ethic and careful creativity that's in her work. On a more personal note, her music feels like contentment and joy, and sometimes nostalgia. I started listening to her music in the fifth/sixth grade but I remember when Speak Now came out and at that time I was starting to get into writing and I could really see that she was a writer too so I clung to her, and then Red was released while my dad was fighting cancer and that album was just something I really pressed into as a means of comfort and escape and I'm so glad that I had her music lean on.
messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - *mind goes blank*
cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I haven't actually been to a concert that's really impacted me meaningfully because I've never gone to anyone I legitimately wanted to see lol. When I was 10, I went to a Jonas Brothers concert with my sister who was a bigger fan of them than I was and I do remember it being a good time. Then when I was 15, my best friend took me to marianas trench because our other friend baled so she had a spare ticket. It was a really good show and it actually made me get into their music more than I had been before which was awesome.
grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - I would love it if taylor swift wrote me a letter and I honestly wouldn't care what she wrote in it as long as it was something nice lol
space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - I used to have a work space in my room but I moved the desk upstairs to our office. Now I just write in my room and that for me looks like a made up bed, a nightstand with a candle, and a vanilla-scented lamp to create a warm cozy atmosphere.
white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - I usually write in the evening and then maybe I'll watch youtube or I'll listen to music or scroll through tiktok lol. Then I put on my pj's, skincare routine, brush teeth, and I go to bed (where I end up reading for half the night but whatevs)
old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - I'm pretty open with my mom so I don't think there's anything she doesn't know about me lol.
beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - I wouldn't mind dying my tips pink or blue just because I think that's a universally cute look. As for styling it, probably what I do now, maybe curl it a little more.
eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - I don't think I even know five people (that i'm close to) yikes
11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - I wish for success, because I always feel like a failure or inadequate in someway - I wish to fall in love, because I'd like to know it at least once - I wish to be able to write again in a way that makes me happy, because I feel like I keep disappointing myself and I just want that creative freedom again
painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - I've never done anything super creative lol but one year I dressed like a bumble bee and I loved that costume because it was a little frilly dress with wings.
lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - fun fact I've never been drunk or high
thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - Anything that involves killing or spiders
storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - All too well by taylor swift baby
love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. - I have not fallen in love before but I imagine it feels like contentment and coming home.
clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - I wouldn't do really short hair, but my favourite hair cuts on me was a short bob.
coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - Just your standard white hot chocolate, and i'd trust anyone to order it for me bc it's not that difficult lol
marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - My writing / my career I think
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hualianisms · 4 years
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MY DREAM IS ONLY YOU: a hualian playlist 
(for books 1, 3, 5) (books 2 & 4 here)
listen here  
track annotations under the cut:
BOOK 1
a thousand years - christina perri (hc pov)
Every breath/ Every hour has come to this/One step closer/I have died every day waiting for you [...] All along I believed, I would find you/Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years/I'll love you for a thousand more
servants and kings - radical face (xl pov)
And you were not like anyone I'd known/You spoke with impunity, had nothing to atone [...] It's hard to say just when I fell in love/There was no epiphany, no light from above/But you'd become my candle in the dark/And all through that Hell you were the shield across my heart
from eden - hozier 
Babe, there's something tragic about you / Something so magic about you / Don't you agree? / Babe, there's something lonesome about you / Something so wholesome about you / Get closer to me [...] Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago [...] I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
雨蝶 - e-jun lee (translation)   (hc pov)
I fly towards you/I'm not tired, no matter how far/Even if there has been pain and tears in this journey [...] I break the cocoon and become a butterfly/willing to fly side by side with you
time after time - iron & wine (hc pov)
If you're lost you can look and you will find me/Time after time/If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting/Time after time
on your own - nick lachey (hc pov)
But if the world should ever fall apart around you/And if you're lost and barely breathing/I will find you and carry you back home/I won't forsake the only love I've ever known
run to you - pentatonix 
(hc pov) I've been settling scores / I've been fighting so long / I'll run to you / I will break down the gates of heaven / A thousand angels stand waiting for me (xl pov) take my heart / And I'll lay down my weapons / Break my shackles to set me free
medicine - daughter (hc pov)
You could still be/What you want to/What you said you were/When I met you/You've got a warm heart/You've got a beautiful brain
BOOK 3
mystery of love - sufjan stevens (both)
Oh, to see without my eyes/The first time that you kissed me [...] Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me/The first time that you touched me/Oh, will wonders ever cease?/Blessed be the mystery of love
pink in the night - mitski
(hc:) I've been blossoming alone over you / And I hear my heart breaking tonight I hear my heart breaking tonight / Do you hear it too? / It's like a summer shower / With every drop of rain singing / "I love you, I love you, I love you"     ((when HC turned his blood rain into flower petals for XL))
(xl:) I could stare at your back all day/And I know I've kissed you before, but/I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again
marry you - paul canning acoustic cover (”gege, wanna get married?”)
i was made for loving you - kina grannis cover (hc pov)
Don't let me go, we'll be alright/Touch my soul and hold it tight/I've been waiting all my life/I won't scar your young heart/Just take my hand [...] All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you
all of me - john legend (both)
Cause all of me/Loves all of you/Love your curves and all your edges/All your perfect imperfections
come into the water - mitski (hc pov)
Do you wanna be my baby?/Are you waiting to touch me?/You look so good, but I keep my hands /Til you come into the water/Maybe I'm the same as all those men/Writing songs of all they're dreaming/But would you tell me if you want me?/Cause I can't move until you show me/I didn't know I had a dream/I didn't know until I saw you
futile devices - sufjan stevens (xl pov)
And when I sleep on your couch/I feel very safe/And when you bring the blankets/I cover up my face/I do/Love you [...] And I would say I love you/But saying it out loud is hard/So I won't say it at all/And I won't stay very long/But you are life I needed all along
all this and heaven too - florence + the machine (xl pov)
And I would give all this and heaven too/I would give it all if only for a moment/That I could just understand/The meaning of the word you see/Cause I've been scrawling it forever/But it never makes sense to me at all [...] All this heaven never could describe/Such a feeling as I'm hearing,/words were never so useful/So I was screaming out a language/That I never knew existed before
worship - years & years (hc pov)
I worship, high praises/My longing drives me crazy for you/My kingdom for your graces
coming down - halsey (both)
I found god/I found him in a lover [...] I found the devil/I found him in a lover[...] I've got a lover, a love like religion/I'm such a fool for sacrifice
you are my joy - the reindeer section (xl pov)
You are my joy, you are my joy, you are my joy / If I could cradle you into my arms/I would cradle you tight in my arms always
medicine - the 1975 (xl pov)
you rid me of the blues/Ever since you came into my life/Because you're my medicine
you are gold - the national parks (xl pov/both)
You are gold/You are all i see/You are aurum scarce and meant for kings [...] And there's something I need to say/But I feel too afraid/'Cause when it's real there's a risk/A chance that I'm nervous to take/Oh my, oh my, I think that I have fallen
this is why i need you - jesse ruben (xl pov)
Cause you make the darkness less dark / You make the edges less sharp / You make the winter feel warmer [...] You are the who, love is the what and this is the why
i will - mitski (both)
I will take good care of you/Everything you feel is good/If you would only let you [...] So stay with me/Hold my hand/There's no need/To be brave/And all the quiet nights you bear/Seal them up with care/No one needs to know they're there/For I will hold them for you
heart - sleeping at last (both)
I'm short of breath/Standing next to you/I'm out of my depth/At this altitude [...] You are beautiful/Like I've never seen/Go ahead and laugh/Even if it hurts/Go ahead and pull the pin/What if we could risk/Everything we have/And just let our walls cave in
with you till the end by tommee profitt (hc pov)
I'll take this pain for you/I will pull you through/I'll be with you 'til the end/Through the fire and rain/I will be your strength [...] When your fears are not fading/And there's parts of you breaking/I'll hold the pieces all together with my hands
i will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie (hc pov)
If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied/Illuminate the “no”s on their vacancy signs/If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks/Then I'll follow you into the dark
chouchou musubi - aimer (translation)  ((red knot of fate))
In this blue, wide world, among the millions scattered around/The two of us separately picked a thread and pulled it to ourselves 
in a week - hozier    (“to die buried together, probably feels like this”)
We'll lay here for years or for hours Your hand in my hand, so still and discreet So long, we'd become the flowers We'd feed well the land and worry the sheep [...] I'd be home with you, I'd be home with you
geyser - mitski (hc pov)
You’re my number one/You’re the one I want/And I’ve turned down/Every hand that has beckoned me to come
oh my stars - andrew belle (xl pov)
If everything you've said to me has been true/Then all my stars are leading me to you [...] Everything you see is ours / Or it could be if you would try / I wish you would I wish you might
so it goes - marianas trench (xl pov)
So I would chose to be with you/As if the choice were mine to make/But you can make decisions too/And you can have this heart to break
don’t deserve you - plumb (hc pov)
You're the reason that I'm alive/You're what I can't live without [...] I don't deserve your love/But you give it to me anyway [...] Your heart is gold and how am I the one/That you've chosen to love/I still can't believe that you're right next to me
love like you - steven universe (both)
If I could begin to be/Half of what you think of me/I could do about anything/I could even learn how to love (Love like you) [...] I always thought I might be bad/Now I'm sure that it's true/Cause I think you're so good/And I'm nothing like you
BOOK 5 
turning page - sleeping at last (hc pov)
I've waited a hundred years/But I'd wait a million more for you/Nothing prepared me for/What the privilege of being yours would do/If I had only felt the warmth within your touch/If I had only seen how you smile when you blush/Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough/Well I would have known/What I was living for all along
all i’ve ever known - hadestown (xl pov)
I was alone so long/I didn't even know that I was lonely [...] All I've ever known is how to hold my own/But now I wanna hold you, too/You take me in your arms/And suddenly there's sunlight all around me
atlas: two - sleeping at last (hc pov)
Tell me, is something wrong?/If something's wrong you can count on me/You know I'll take my heart clean apart/If it helps yours beat [...] I just want to build you up, build you up/'Til you're good as new/And maybe one day, I'll get around/To fixing myself, too
better love - glades (xl pov)
Nobody's ever pulled me close like this before/So honest that it scares me/You make it seem alright to be this vulnerable [...] It's safe to say I couldn't know a better/couldn't know better love
the light - sara bareilles (xl pov)
And if you say we'll be alright/I'm gonna trust you, babe/I'm gonna look in your eyes/And if you say we'll be alright/I'll follow you into the light
cecilia and the satellite - andrew mcmahon in the wilderness (hc pov)
For all the things my eyes have seen, the best by far is you / For all the places I have been, I'm no place without you / For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you
光年之外 - G.E.M. (translation)  (xl pov)
For you, I’ve already gone insane to the point of/(feeling like) my pulse and heartbeat are totally unimportant without you/A pair of arms encircling my chest/are sufficient for resisting the rotation of the Earth
you’re not alone - meredith andrews (hc pov or both)
You're not alone for I am here/Let me wipe away your every fear/My love, I've never left your side/I have seen you through the darkest night/And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
past lives - BØRNS (both)
Past lives couldn't ever hold me down/Lost love is sweeter when it's finally found/I've got the strangest feelin'/This isn't our first time around [...] Through all of my lives/I'd never thought I'd wait so long for you
the best of you - andy grammar (both)
You've seen my dark side and danced with my shadow [...] you know me, know me/Wrestled with the old me/Saved me at my lowest, all you had to do was hold me/Console me, no matter how far I fall/Cause the best of me loves the best of you
anything for you - ludo (hc pov)
I'd give up anything/Anything for you/I'd give it all/All of this is true/But the best story that I could ever tell/Is the one where I am growing old with you/All I've ever wanted see, was to tell you honestly/I'd do absolutely anything for you
anyone else - pvris (xl pov or both)
'Cause I could touch a hundred thousand souls/But none of them would ever feel like home/And no matter how far and wide I roam/You're the only one I'll ever know/I don't belong to anyone else
francis forever - mitski         (the year xl spent waiting for hc to come back)
On sunny days I go out walking/I end up on a tree-lined street/I look up at the gaps of sunlight/I miss you more than anything
wish that you were here - florence + the machine (xl pov)
You're always on my mind/And I never minded being on my own/Then something broke in me and I wanted to go home/To be where you are
i will wait - mumford & sons (xl pov)
I will wait, I will wait for you
find my way back - eric arjes (hc pov)
No distance could ever tear us apart/There's nothing that I wouldn't do/I'll find my way back to you
work song - hozier    (hc pov)
When my time comes around/Lay me gently in the cold dark earth/No grave can hold my body down/I'll crawl home to him
gravity - coldplay      (reunion)
Baby it's been a long time coming/Such a long, long time [...] And then I looked up at the sun and I could see/Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me
POSTCANON
god in jeans - ryan beatty (hc pov)
God is real, he was sleeping in my bed last night/We were naked with the radio on/Played him my favourite song/My love is my religion
watch you sleep. - girl in red (hc pov)
I don't ever wanna leave/I'll watch you sleep/And listen to you breathe [...] I never get /Bored of looking at you/’Cause every time I see somethin' new
little death - the beths (xl pov)    ((the demon king’s birthday extra))
When you're near/My heart starts beating faster [...] My lungs they catch on every breath/My heart beats harder at the cage inside my chest/And I die, I die a little death
the idea of growing old - the features (both)
We can talk all night/We can talk all day/We can play charades when there is nothing to say/You turn me on to the the idea of growing old
what a heavenly way to die - troye sivan (both)
What a heavenly way to die/What a time to be alive/Because forever is in your eyes/But forever ain't half the time/I wanna spend with you, you/I wanna be with you, you
1000 years - kt tunstall (both)
In a thousand years/I know that our love will still be here/So close your eyes, my dear/Knowing that our love is going to last one thousand years
the end of all things - panic!at the disco (both)
Whether near or far/I am always yours/Any change in time/We are young again/Lay us down/We're in love/In these coming years/Many things will change/But the way I feel/Will remain the same
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delllonggone · 3 years
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Tagged!
Name one (1) singer, and match their songs to your favourite fictional couples (your own creations or another writers), then pass it on.
 Tagged by the lovely @amlovelies for this one! I’m in a bit of a throwback so here goes Marianas Trench! If you haven’t listened to them and you like alternative/pop bands with a lot of harmonies and concept albums... their music has shaped some of my novels. I love them a lot. 
1. Masterpiece Theater III (Daisy)
i never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself/ and now that’s just how i tell i’m wide awake          if i burn out/ you’ll slip away/ you’re beautiful
2. Cross My Heart (Mia/Felix)
and i do want to show you i/ will run to you to you till i/ can’t stand on my own anymore/ i cross my heart and hope to die
3. All to Myself (Leigh/Nate)
Did you say?/”Please, just follow me/ I thought you wanted me/ Cause I want you all to myself"?/I can try and suck it up/I just can't suck it up/ Make me feel like someone else
4. Porcelain (Juniper/Mason)
It hurts sometimes/To find where you begin/But you are perfect porcelain...  It's alright if you don't know what you need
5. Ever After (Evangeline/Adam)
Don’t you move/ Can’t you stay where you are/ just for now/ I could be your perfect disaster/ you could be my ever after
don’t want to think about it/ i’m fucking tired of getting sick about it/ so stand back up and be a man about it/ and fight for something
6. No Place Like Home (Ava/Daisy/Nat)
Once upon a time/This place was beautiful and mine/But now it's just a bottom line/(There's no)/Yellow bricks and happily/Ever after we lived/The End
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hyperstation · 3 years
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Moon’s curse and starving pets.
Some day I will wake up without everything I ever have seen, It will hurt until it won’t, It will be enough to ignore what the heart wants, I will unlearn how to cry, I won’t steal breathes and memories, I will be long gone when I hear the crazy sobbing, I won’t ask why this time, in the full moon, I will be gone.
I keep saying until the next lifetime, I will be simpler, sticking inside only of myself, I will never figure out the changes around me, It will be a full moon, and I won’t cry.
I am stuck in this life, I love jokes and pleasant personalities, But I will marry to a hysterically silent man, He will be so gentle in the way he holds me, He will wear a person’s suit, but I am the only one, That hears him cry when he doesn’t make a sound, I am the only able to, He likes depth, and I don’t get the appeal, I am the only one who knows, and I know alone all the time, What it’s like to dream of Mariana Trench and drowning in, And he gets me with an idealization that never takes me home.
Violence doesn’t stand a chance to sliced minds, Language means nothing to a fracture into reality, I listen to memories and feel breathes that aren’t mine. A man at the movie once said I was the bravest, When I was with a sword in my backbone, I asked why and never unlearned how to cry.
Everything I ever felt never was alone but in the end, I am out of grace and married to silence, I am the one who drowns into a sea that never takes me home, Perhaps, in the next lifetime.
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raccoonwritings · 5 years
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A Drink Away from Honesty  (Ch. 5)
Childhood Friends AU (angst with a happy ending, be warned)
Lucas is an oversharing drunk, Eliott is both desperate and dramatic, and everyone is trying to just keep everything straight.
Or alternatively, Lucas and Eliott were childhood best friends until a storm tears them apart and brings them back together.
(Title from “Don’t Miss Me?” by Marianas Trench)
Chapter 5: You’re Little
Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)
Lundi 18:45
“What do I do?!” Lucas dramatically flops down on his bed, next to Yann. He had called Yann here on the premise of needing best friend support and this time is was absolutely necessary.
“You’re so dramatic,” Yann says, not even bothering to look up from his phone. Lucas sits up instantly, ready to rumble.
“I am not dramatic!” He attempts to convince Yann – and himself. He watches Yann get up off the bed and look at him directly in the eyes.
“What do I doooooooo?!” Yann mimics Lucas from moments ago as he drops himself on the bed with force.
Lucas pouts and crosses his arms. “You’re mean”
“Here comes the pout,” Yann grins. He pouts even more.
“I’m being serious! I called you here for best friend support and you’re making fun of me! I need help!” Lucas kicks his feet a little.
“Am I even your best friend?” Yann questions seriously, forcing Lucas to sit up.
“Of course you are! Why would you even question that?”
“Well, apparently, your former best friend is walking around telling the whole school that you’re his best friend. A bit rude if you ask me.”
Lucas groans so loud that the floor vibrates. Eliott is really going the mile to make his life hell and to think he’s only been here for a couple of days.
“You’re my best friend, Yann. Eliott is just dramatic.”
“That makes two of you.” Yann receives a glare for that. “Oh, come on. You’re dramatic, he’s dramatic, you’d make a perfect match!” Lucas’ back goes stiff. He doesn’t remember how much of the story he told Yann and he doesn’t have the emotional stability today to explain it again or to even fill in the missing parts.
“If you’re not going to give me best friend support, I’ll go ask Mika for help,” Lucas gets up off the bed and waits for the reaction he knows is coming.
“Okay, okay! I’ll help you. Explain the situation.”
“So, at the party on Friday, when Chloe and I went to the bathroom,” Lucas feels himself shutter at the thought. “We were making out against the door, when it opened, and there he was behind the door. I thought it was just a fluke, a one-off thing, but then he showed up at school today. I thought he was following me or something, but he says he goes here now. He interrupted me and Chloe again and he managed to convince her that we already made plans for the both of us when Chloe wanted to go on a date with me. She left, but I think he is actually expecting me to hangout with him and I don’t know what to do.” Lucas rushes through his story, hoping that Yann caught at least half of it. Explaining it stresses him out.
“Well, do you want to hang out with him?” Yann ponders. Lucas doesn’t answer quick enough, apparently. “Wait, do you actually want to?”
“I don’t know! It pisses me off the way he acts like nothing happened. He hasn’t acknowledged anything. He aggravates me, acting all smooth and–” He hears Yann snort.
“Acting all smooth,” Yann laughs. His best friend is really not giving him the support he wants right now. “You still have a thing for him, don’t you?”
Nope, nope, nope. Lucas wants out of this conversation. He’s not ready to deal with that yet. “No, it just bothers me how he thinks he can walk in here and make do like nothing happened.”
“He’s really seeming to get under your skin, especially for all two times you’ve talked to him. Are you sure you don’t still have feelings for him?” Yann sees right through him, but he isn’t ready to face what he’s pushed deep down for over a year now. He also really wishes he wouldn’t get honest drunk.
“You’re not giving me an answer to my problem!” Lucas whines. “What do I do about seeing him?”
Yann doesn’t speak for a moment and Lucas can see the wheels turning in his head. “You should do it.” Excuse, him? Did Lucas hear that right?
“What?” Lucas asks incredulously. Yann better have a good explanation for this.
“Well, maybe he wants to apologize.” Yeah, no. That definitely wasn’t it. “Maybe he misses you and just wants to hang out again.” Hm, maybe. “It could also give you an opportunity to give him hell for how much he hurt you.” Oh, well, that’s an idea.
“I don’t know if I have the capability to get that angry directly to his face.” Lucas pictures him and holds back his natural reflex to smile at the thought of the bushy haired, lanky boy. He really doesn’t think he could get pissed at him in his presence.
“Trust me, you could.” Yann confirms. “You can be quite the angry little person.”
“Little?!” Lucas angry pouts. “I am not little!”
Yann takes a handful of popcorn from the near empty bowl on the bed. “You’re little.”
“I don’t like you.”
“False. Categorically untrue. If you can remember back five minutes ago, you called me your best friend.” Lucas takes as much popcorn he can gather in his hand and throws it at him.
“You’re the worst.”
“No, I think that title goes to Eliott.”
Now, that, was something that Lucas could agree with
Mercredi 15:14
Lucas notices him as soon as he exits the school, leaning up against the wall of the courtyard with his eyes on his phone. He contemplates if he could sneak out of the courtyard without Eliott catching him, but he thinks too long because Eliott snaps his head up. Lucas swallows nervously as Eliott begins to approach him. His long legs carry him over to Lucas faster than he would have liked, considering all the thoughts racing in his head.
“Hi!” Eliott says through a wide smile. Lucas doesn’t answer but returns a timid half-smile.
“Oh, are you not going to speak to me? If we’re going to play this game, you know you’re going to win because I can’t shut up around you.” Lucas raises an eyebrow. “You know it’s true. I just can’t help myself around you,” Eliott tries to meet his gaze, but Lucas doesn’t let up. Not until Eliott runs a hand through his hair, which makes Lucas’ return the stare. “Got you to look,” Eliott smiles playfully. Lucas’ heart is going to have a hard time today, he can feel it. “Ready to go?”
No, Lucas is absolutely not ready to go, he’s not ready to sit alone with Eliott and deal with the aftermath of what has happened. It seems like he doesn’t have a choice though, because soon enough Eliott has a grip on his jacket sleeve and is pulling him towards the bus stop. He can feel himself walking along, but his mind has too much on it to actively focus on his physical movements.
He only gets out of his head when he realizes he’s sitting next to Eliott on the bus. Eliott is animatedly telling him something he doesn’t bother to try and listen to. All he can do is look at him, really look at him. He notices how his hair is longer, it’s curling a little more at the ends than it was back over a year ago. His eyes are still as beautiful as Lucas remembers, same as his smile. He lets himself indulge in the thoughts before Eliott picks up on his staring.
“Like what you see?” Eliott raises an eyebrow. Fuck him, he knows Lucas likes what he sees. He always has. He just decides to ignore him.
“Man, you’re actually not going to talk to me, huh?” Eliott looks concerned and attempts to stare into Lucas’ eyes. After a few minutes of silence, Eliott fidgets and tries again. “Lulu, what’s wrong?”
Lucas directs his attention out the window of the bus, trying his hardest to not get upset. It amazes him that Eliott has no clue how much he broke his heart. Actually, it doesn’t. Lucas could’ve, would’ve given him the world, his entire world, if Eliott had just stayed. It hurts too much to think that he meant so little to Eliott when Eliott told him the opposite. He wants to cry and realizes that coming with Eliott was a bad idea. He knew in his mind this was how today was going to go, but his heart can’t stay away. There’s some small part of him naïve enough to believe that Eliott still cares about him after all this time, but in reality, he’s just a thing Eliott can play with. It makes him woozy that he trusted him with his entire life a little over a year ago and now he can barely stand to be in his vicinity. Maybe he was too naïve back then.
Eliott reaches for his hand, causing Lucas to startle. He jumps up, deciding that he needs to get out of here right now. He doesn’t even catch Eliott’s gaze as he practically runs towards the front of the bus. Luckily, the bus stops and the doors fly open, allowing Lucas a means to exit. He doesn’t know what stop this is, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to be away from him. Unfortunately for him, his small frame allows Eliott to catch him before his feet can carry him far. “I’m not letting you go that easy.”
Lucas turns around, placing his hands against Eliott’s chest and looking into his eyes. “Why? It was easy to let me go last year. What’s so different now?”
He watches Eliott’s face drop. His hands feel Eliott’s heartbeat speed up. “Lucas, please let me explain.”
“You don’t get to. You shoving your tongue down another guy’s throat after telling me you wanted to be mine was your explanation.” The memory hurts, even after pushing it so deep down. He feels his eyes begin to itch, he feels the beginnings of tears. Eliott’s arms tighten around his waist.
“You saw that?” Eliott’s face falters. Lucas can see the fear.
“I saw everything, Eliott. Tell me, was it worth it? Did it feel good, fucking me in the morning and hooking up with someone else 12 hours later? Was I just not good enough for you? To inexperienced? Not attractive enough? Not worth it? Did I just not matter to you?” Lucas is angry and in tears and he just needs to be far away from here. He’s forgotten that they’re in the middle of the sidewalk, but he just can’t bring himself to care. He’s done talking about this, he wants to forget, to leave it behind and move on. He takes the momentary lapse in Eliott’s thoughts as an opportunity to wiggle free from his grasp.
“No, Lucas! Wait, please!”  Eliott’s voice is desperate as his hand catches Lucas’ wrist.
“What do you want?! Can’t you see that I don’t want to talk to you?” Lucas pulls his hand away as a tear falls down his cheek. Eliott must’ve notice him crying because he let Lucas’s wrist go and stands there motionless, eyes watching the floor.
Lucas runs. He runs until he knows Eliott isn’t behind him. He runs until he’s out of breath. He runs until he can feel the cool wind grazing the tear tracks on his cheeks. He stops running, not wanting to keep going due do the fact he has no idea where he is. He looks around trying to determine a location and he can feel the tears stinging the back of his eyes. He needs to stop crying, he can do that when he gets home. He has a bedroom and a pile of blankets he can crawl under. He can ignore everything until tomorrow. He just has to get home first.
It takess him several hours to get home. He opts to walk the streets until well past dark, to let the cool weather sweep his tears away, to let the cool wind take all his problems away. It works well enough, until he gets to the apartment and feels his phone buzz.
From: Eliott
Since I met you, you’re the only thing that mattered
 Lucas fights tears and the urge to throw his phone to the ground. How could he blatantly lie like that? Eliott didn’t give a shit about him. The thoughts in his head are racing until a cab pulling up on the curb behind him pulls him out of his anger.
“Salut, Lucas!”
Manon’s back.
 Lucas (13) and Eliott (15)
Vendredi 20:20
Eliott’s dragged him to an upper school party and Lucas can’t discern how he feels. On the one hand, he’s glad that Eliott wanted to bring him, but he’s not enjoying the way that the girls are eyeing his best friend. He hates it, in fact. He doesn’t exactly know why, but the way all the girls at the party are staring, like they’d want him to push them against a wall, with his lips sucking at their necks. And no, he’s not making this up or catastrophizing, he literally heard one of the girls he passed by talking about how she wouldn’t mind being between his legs. He really doesn’t like girls that much, or at all to be honest.
He follows Eliott towards a group of boys, all much taller than he, and with a bit more muscle too. Lucas feels scrawny compared to them. Eliott introduces him as his best friend, and it makes his heart flutter, despite not knowing why. It didn’t make sense, because they always introduced the other as their best friend to new people. He just really likes being Eliott’s best friend.
Half an hour and two beers later, Lucas is feeling good. He’s not flat on his face drunk, but he has a nice buzz going. Eliott’s arm is wrapped around his waist, keeping him steady and if he pretends to be a bit more drunk so he can lean a little more into his best friend’s shoulder, he wouldn’t tell anyone. He wants to stay like this for as long as possible, because he’s warm and tipsy, and his best friend’s grip on his waist is slowly getting tighter with every second.
His happy bubble burst just a bit when someone suggests they play truth or dare. Knowing Eliott’s love for the game, Lucas wasn’t surprised when his friend pulled him down into the circle. Lucas feels a bit uneasy, considering he’s younger than everyone here and he doesn’t know anyone except for Eliott and his friends, who he’s only met in passing once. An hour ago.
Lucas watches as girls and boys go off in pairs for the dares to kiss or make out in the corner. He watches one girl give a lap dance to another guy, despite having a boyfriend. It wasn’t that entertaining for him, at all. He didn’t really want to kiss girls or be on the receiving or giving end of a dare, and luckily Eliott spoke up for him when someone tries to get him to kiss a girl named Elena, who he had noticed was looking at him funny the entire night. Lucas was glad that Eliott saved him from that turmoil, but then the next person suggested that because Lucas wasn’t going to do it, that Eliott should.
“If the pip squeak isn’t going to kiss her, then you have to, Eliott. It’s the rules,” a guy with shaggy blonde hair addresses Eliott.
“Yeah and you have to go in the closet with her. Seven minutes in heaven, I dare you,” another guys hollers.
The yelling and taunting Eliott was receiving didn’t stop until he accepted, agreeing and standing up to offer the girl his hand. Lucas stares as his best friend walks the girl out of the room, towards the closet door by the entrance to the house. Eliott disappears inside, shutting the door behind the two of them.
The next seven minutes are the longest of Lucas’ thirteen years on this planet. He just wants Eliott to come out and sit next to him again, and he gets his wish, but not without a price. The seven minutes are up and the entire circle is belting at them to exit the closet, which they do, and Lucas can’t help but notice two large marks on the side the girls neck. Those weren’t there before. He suddenly feels stone cold sober. He wants another beer and to be alone and away from all of the people hooting and cheering his best friend while the girl he went into the closet with blushes and begins excitedly talking to her friends.
Eliott returns to his spot next to Lucas and the game continues, but Lucas couldn’t care less. He checks out because all he can think of are his best friend’s lips sucking on that girl’s neck. How he hates that he went in there with her. How he wishes that he was the one with the marks on his collarbone.
That’s the thought that stops him in his tracks. He wants Eliott to give him hickeys? He wants to kiss Eliott? His mind races and he can’t help but take a quick glance at Eliott’s lips and think about how soft they must feel. Eliott’s hair is really soft, what must it be like to run a hand through while kissing him? He’s never kissed anyone before, but it doesn’t seem so daunting if he were to do it with Eliott. Best friends can kiss best friends and it wouldn’t be weird, right? No, it’s them. They’ve always been touchy-feely, so it wouldn’t be weird if they kissed.
Lucas crashes back down to reality when an older boy dares him to kiss another girl and he panics. Once again, Eliott steps in to take the heat for him, but he doesn’t want to see him kiss someone else. Not again. He’s still reeling from Eliott kissing the last girl and from the fact that he thinks he wants to kiss Eliott. The circle doesn’t let Eliott take the fall for Lucas this time though.
“Sorry dude, he has to kiss her, you can’t save him more than once,” a ginger haired boy tells Eliott, who fires back immediately.
“Leave the kid alone, he didn’t even want to come tonight and I made him. Just let him be.” Eliott’s arm wraps around his shoulder, protecting him. “Let me take his place.”
“Sorry, he’s gotta kiss her or someone, at least.”
Another person in the circle pipes up, “Why don’t you just kiss him if you don’t want him kissing anyone else?” This question gets lots of support and Lucas is reeling. He has to kiss Eliott? In front of all these people? His stomach starts to knot and he looks to his best friend who won’t make eye contact with him. Lucas wants to shake him, wants him to just say okay and get it over with, but he does something completely different instead.
“Alright, Lucas can kiss her,” Eliott��s voice cuts through his heart like daggers. Lucas feels himself slouch, but not enough to grasp any attention from the applause Eliott’s sentence gets. All eyes are on him and he wants to vomit. He doesn’t have enough time to process anything before he reluctantly gets up and walks over to her, taking her hand to pull her up. He tries to remember how the other guys were kissing girls a little while ago. He puts a hand at the back of her neck and slowly leans in, with what feels like rocks in his stomach.
It’s lack luster and doesn’t feel like anything. Her lips are fruity and glossy and he doesn’t enjoy it much. His first kiss is wasted on a girl he doesn’t like at a party he didn’t want to be at, because his best friend dragged him there and didn’t want to kiss him. He pulls away from him and smiles half heartedly to her before returning to his spot in the circle next to Eliott, whose eyes are on him the entire time. He refuses to look at his best friend, who he notices is concerned because of how far Lucas sits from him.
He decides he doesn’t like parties. Not at all. He also decides he needs another drink and to get out of this room before he starts to tear up. He gets up when all the attention is focused on another pair and heads for the kitchen, the fridge to get exact. All he can think about is that Eliott didn’t want to kiss him. He was so disgusted by the idea that he threw Lucas into the trenches to snog someone he didn’t like, he didn’t even know. His heart aches and he questions why it hurts so much that Eliott didn’t want to kiss him. He assumes it’s because his friend is disgusted by the prospect of locking lips.
Lucas pulls the fridge door open with force and grabs another beer. Popping the top off, he takes a big swig, causing him to cough because it goes down the wrong pipe. Once he’s recovered, he goes to chug the rest, because he doesn’t want to feel anymore, when Eliott pulls the half empty bottle from his hands. “Slow down there, Lucas. What’s going on, you never chug like that?” Eliott tilts his head down to catch Lucas’ eyes. He needs more alcohol in order to deal with this.
“Can I please have it back?” Lucas pleads, reaching up for the bottle, only to have Eliott finish the rest in one gulp. Lucas pouts. “Why did you do that? That was my beer.”
“Why do you need more when you’ve already had quite the handful tonight?” Eliott ponders.
“Just wanted more,” Lucas says softly, not wanting to tell him the real reason why.
“Lulu, tell me what’s bothering you, because something is. I know you.” That was something Lucas didn’t need to be reminded off.
The alcohol running through his system gave him some courage. “Was the idea of kissing me really that bad? Do I disgust you?” He looks up with tears beginning to form in his eyes. He sees Eliott’s face immediately soften and his hand comes up to stroke Lucas cheek with his thumb.
“Lulu, of course you don’t disgust me,” Eliott says softly in his ear. “Is that what this is about? The beer chugging? Is this because you’re upset I didn’t kiss you?” Eliott’s thumb rubs circles on his cheek while he shows Lucas a gentle, toothy smile.
“No, no, not that it’s just,” Lucas begins to get nervous, “you just threw me in to kiss some girl because someone dared you to kiss me. I don’t know, I guess I just thought that the idea bothered you or that you were disgusted by the thought of kissing me.” Lucas focuses his attention on his hands, which are nervously moving against one another. He refuses to look up, but the hand stroking his cheek moves under his chin to lift his head up. His eyes meet Eliott’s, which are filled with nothing but fondness and love.
“I didn’t know if you’d want to kiss me, that’s why I didn’t. I didn’t want to put you on the spot in the middle of a group of people you didn’t know.”
Lucas half laughs. “That’s what you did, though! You let them dare me to kiss someone else.” He begins talking rapidly. “Of course I wouldn’t want to have been put on the spot, but I would’ve rather kissed you than someone else, especially over someone I don’t know. I didn’t even know her and that was my first kiss and I guess I always thought it would’ve been more romantic and not in the middle of a truth or dare game, but you let it happen! You let me waste my first kiss on some girl I didn’t like or even know,” he’s starting to work himself up, “all because you didn’t know if I’d want to kiss you. I’d rather have kissed you than her Eliott and yo-” Lucas’ bordering-on-emotional rant was cut off by something soft against his mouth. Eliott was pressing his lips against Lucas’ and it was far more enjoyable than the one he shared with whatever her name was earlier that night. Lucas startles, but immediately starts to kiss and dares to knot his hand in the hair at the back of Eliott’s neck. Eliott wraps his arms around Lucas’ waist, like when he was steadying Lucas an hour or two ago. He doesn’t know how long they were kissing when Eliott pulls back, panting, lips puffy and red and plush. Lucas smiles at him, heart beating fast and hugs him forcefully.
Eliott whispers in his ear, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your first kiss meant so much to you.”
“It’s okay.”
“If you want, we can pretend I was your first kiss.”
And that, to Lucas, sounds so much better than reality.
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Assorted Mariana’s Trench Lyric Starters Part 1
Feel free to change pronouns as you need! Here is part one of some lyric starters from my favourite band!!
“You still haunt the corner of my heart.”
“I’m sure you thought of someone else, somebody not as complicated as myself.”
“Listen everyday til the dark is back.”
“Your sad blue eyes like mine, full of pity now but I don’t know why.”
“The light dims without regret, now you’re nothing more than a silhouette.”
“Just hold quick, you’re fading right in a cold trick of the light.”
“I’m just so sick, I thought you might be here, but you disappear.”
“Just hold quick, you’re fading right in a cold trick of the light. I’m just so sick, I thought you might be here, but you disappear.”
“I wake up and I forget that you are gone. A phantom limb is all that I am hanging on.”
“What if I wake up and you were real? What if we could find a way to try to heal?”
“What if the one true love is the only one you get?”
“Might do this to myself, I only made it worse but I just can’t help, you know I get so attached.”
“He’ll never scar you like I do, but he’ll never know you, not the way that I know you.”
“Only the lonely survive.”
“I’d rather hurt here than be happy somewhere else.”
“I don’t remember why we stayed, foot out the door, foot in the grave.”
“I guess some people try to raise the dead, some people try to live instead.”
“I don’t remember why we stayed, foot out the door, foot in the grave. I guess some people try to raise the dead, some people try to live instead.”
“I tell myself that I can do with the space between me and you, but I’m just a drink away from honesty so who knows whats true?”
“I’m just a drink away from honesty, so who knows whats true?”
“It’s not like I miss your laughter, its not like I miss your face. It’s not like I can’t get past it.”
“It hurts like hell to love this well, but no one falls the way we fell.”
“We’ll burn alive, but only the lonely survive.”
“It’s not like I can’t get past it.”
“No one will scar me like you do.”
“No one will ever be compared to you.”
“It only hurt a bit but I still feel like shit.”
“You’re pushing me, you’re fucking pushing me!”
“Sometime’s the one you want is not the one you need.”
"Guess then I kinda got arrested, with a car and a chase and a drug test.”
“I get stuck to every innuendo, but it doesn’t seem to matter in the end so-”
“This is it, why don’t we just savor it?”
“I thrust my fists into the post, I still insist I see your ghost!”
“I think of you, I dream of you, evermore.”
“If madness overtakes us both then nobody would be alone.”
“The ghost of us can linger here, forever not to disappear.”
“Stop stop stop, I think I got it!”
“Stay. We could be forever here, together here, together bound in madness.”
“Sorry you sorry me sorry every in between.”
“Sorry everybody! You will never be somebody clean.”
“They will buy you and sell you for celebrity status.”
“I know my love can be the killing kind.”
“Go down below where children go, and we all float down here.”
“What if I was wrong by never moving on?”
“Now I pine for a phantom pain, its the only time that I see your face.”
“I know my love can be the killing kind.”
“What is I was wrong by never moving on? I didn’t realize who’s gone.”
“The ghost in me was true but you’ve been haunted too.”
“What goes around don’t come around.”
“You should know me by now!”
“Well now there’s him and now there’s me.”
“The secrets you give and the secrets you keep.”
“I know a love like this will end in tragedy.”
“Well now there’s him and now there’s me, the secrets you give and the secrets you keep.”
“Don’t tell me to fight for you, after this long I shouldn’t have to.”
“I’m on the ledge while you’re so goddamn polite and composed.”
“I know you’re fine, but what do I do?”
“Been forever since you crossed my mind, guess its true how time can fly.”
“I’m wondering if you don’t miss me too.”
“I know i said that I would call... but I never think of you at all.”
“It burns us both, to love this close.”
“What if you still feel me too? What if there was still a way of taking care of this?”
“You’ve been wishing but you don’t know how to stay, and I’ve been broken but I’m better every day.”
“Lost and gone so fast. You get me every time but I live with that.”
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majicmarker · 5 years
Text
just some lyrics for your inspirational theonsa needs
(forreal forreal, feel free to use for fics, gifsets, edits, WHATEVER. pls tag me if you do! i just… need it.)
⚔️🦑👑🐺
there’s something tragic, but almost pure
think I could love you, but i’m not sure
there’s something wholesome, there’s something sweet
tucked in your eyes that i’d love to meet
-‘broken,’ lovelytheband
~
i put my selfish ways in boxes
and shipped ‘em back to where they came
will never let it get close to bein’ toxic
and i promise i’ll never walk away
opposites attract and we’re the livin' proof of this
but i keep on comin’ back like a magnet
-‘love her,’ the jonas brothers
~
i thank the oceans for giving me you
you saved me once and now i’ll save you too
-‘hesitate,’ the jonas brothers
~
darlin’, please, don’tstart to cry
‘cause girl you know i’ve got to go (oh)
and lord i wish it wasn’t so
save tonight and fight the break of dawn
come tomorrow, tomorrow i’ll be gone
-‘save tonight,’ eagle-eye cherry
~
and when the night is through,
i’ll still be falling for you
-‘white noise,’ coasts
~
it’s the freedom of falling, it’s the way that you smile
it’s just a flicker of something that’s saying goodbye
it’s the thought of tomorrow and the hope it would bring
-‘let go,’ dean lewis
~
spacing in and out of your dresses, i wanna be found by you
found by you
get me a drink, i get drunk off one sip, just so i can adore you
i want the entire street out of town just so i can be alone with you
…i’m known as a right-hand slugger
anybody else wanna touch my lover?
-‘adore,’ dean lewis
~
i’d rather be sad with you
than anywhere away from you
-‘wake me,’ bleachers
~
i didn’t know i was lonely ‘til i saw your face
i didn’t know i was broken ‘til I wanted to change
-‘i wanna get better,’ bleachers
~
i found you all alone
i came to warm your bones
there were twenty million tears in your hands
you found me in the dark
you came to heal my scars
…i shelter you, you guide me
i lose myself, you find me
-‘rescue,’ james bay
~
so bury me and lock me in
i’ll find a way to rise again
i’ll break away to find you where you are
don’t give up even when i’m gone
don’t give up
from the grave i’ll crawl
through the pouring rain
for you, i would pay the cost
to be in your arms again
-‘from the grave,’ james arthur
~
i’ve got time, i’ve got love
got confidence you’ll rise above
give me a minute to hold my girl
-‘hold my girl,’ george ezra
~
i know a girl who’s never tried to settle down
she wears her loneliness like a crown
but when she smiles all the kings will bow down, down, down
and i know a boy who’s broken every vow he’s made
who’s spoken every coward’s phrase
but he can listen like a rainy day and drown it out
-‘kids again,’ artist vs poet
~
i wish that i was good enough
if only i could wake you up
my love, my love, my love, my love
won’t you stay a while?
…tell me more, tell me something i don’t know
could we come close to having it all?
-‘hold me while you wait,’ lewis capaldi
~
think about what you believe in now
am i someone you cannot live without?
-‘call you mine,’ the chainsmokers + bebe rexha
but i know, a love like this will end in tragedy…
it hurts like hell to love this well
but no one falls the way we fell
-‘only the lonely survive,’ marianas trench
~
if i was waiting, i was waiting for just one little spark
you are the brightest i’ve seen
you are the best side of me
and just for when we’re apart
i’ve got a piece of your heart
-‘piece of your heart,’ mayday parade
~
staring at the lipstick stain on your second glass of wine
i told you since i bought it, i suppose your lips are mine
but you didn’t laugh, brought up the past
said ‘i’ve been hurt before,
just about enough to know that i can’t take it no more’
-‘heart on the floor,’ the summer set
~
you’re saying the words that i want you to say
there’s a pain in my heart and it won’t go away
now i know i’m falling in deep
‘cause i need you here with me
-‘here with me,’ marshmello
~
nobody’s even lookin’ me in my eyes
then you take my hand
finish my drink, say, ‘shall we dance?’
hell yeah
you know i love you, did i ever tell you?
you make it better like that
-‘i don’t care,’ ed sheeran + justin bieber
~
*listen i didn’t link the songs bc i got tired, pls forgive my muppet monkey lazy ass
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sulevinblade · 5 years
Text
OTP Theme Songs
Tagged by @dickeybbqpit​ ages ago but I was really struggling for one of these, then this morning it hit me and I could finally share some of my favorites!
https://open.spotify.com/track/4QGTgLNy7PTgb6nCIRKPcd
Ghilanel and Solas, “One Love,” by Marianas Trench
I listened to this after Trespasser and cried till my stomach hurt. I love Marianas Trench anyway but everything about this is Ghilanel after Trespasser to me, the sleeplessness, the phantom pain, the uncertainty.
I might do this to myself Only made it worse but I just can't help You know I get so attached Listen everyday till the dark is back Now I pine for phantom pain It’s the only time that I see your face
https://open.spotify.com/track/73CMWrPW9B2BYhx3OgRmhl
Ghilanel and Solas, “On Your Shore,” Enya
This is more when they’re together. Of course it’s affected by the knowledge from Trespasser but even before then there’s something so still and deep about Solas, he reminds her of deep water and being with him is like the strangeness of venturing out into that.
Strange how my heart beats To find myself upon your shore. Strange how I still feel My loss of comfort gone before. Cool waves wash over And drift away with dreams of youth So time is stolen I cannot hold you long enough. 
https://open.spotify.com/track/1y3bE5i57eUm3hfLAc7h08
Jonah Hawke and Anders, “Walking the Wire,” Imagine Dragons
Speaking of songs that made me cry!!! The image of walking a wire, the combination of being totally exposed but also being somewhere it’s virtually impossible for anyone else to reach you, really resonated with me for them, and a lot of the lyrics have a very us vs. the world feeling which is appropriate.
Oh, the storm is raging against us now If you're afraid of falling, then don't look down But we took the step, and we took the leap And we'll take what comes, take what comes
https://open.spotify.com/track/0otlwsD3mSogk7VJCTp6Kg
Varevas and Dorian, “Let My Love Open the Door,” Pete Townshend
I cry a lot over music, probably should’ve established this at the outset, but these two were especially hard to pin down a feeling for, then I heard a cover of this this morning and realized this is it, this is them, or at least it’s Varevas. Dorian wants to be loved, he deserves to be loved, but he works so hard sometimes to make sure he’s got a door closed against it and Varevas knows it doesn’t have to be that way. The feeling of it is huge and bright and somehow so simple in the end, and that’s how I feel about them.
When people keep repeating That you'll never fall in love When everybody keeps retreating But you can't seem to get enough Let my love open the door To your heart
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