I am an hour past me alarm, 30min past the time I should have left for the gym. My bag is packed, everything is ready, if I cut my workout 15min short it would work.
Or, I can make breakfast, calm down, and go to work... I would prefer the gym.
Bernice Ende traveled her own path. Over 30,000 miles in the saddle, she encouraged women to be who they wanted to be, to listen to their own voice. This is from her April 2021 update, “Be Devoted To Your Life”:
“Time is not ticking away – your life is ticking away. It’s important to know where you are going and why you are headed in that direction. But most importantly does what you are doing bring you a sense of purpose? These questions rise to the top if we are seeking a fully-fledged life. Three miles an hour is plenty fast as far as I am concerned. If you can, slow down, enjoy this time as a gift. Make this a time to discover, learn and know something new about yourself. If taking a fence apart is necessary to move forward – do it. But always respectfully put it back together. Don’t let fences, road blocks or any obstacles keep you from moving forward, find opportunity, not problems in these challenging time. If you make life a race remember what the finish line holds.”
#pureo compulsion example as identified by Robert Bray, MD:
dissecting a past situation seen as unfavourable to catch patterns from multiple angles in order to ensure it won’t happen again. *to be differentiated from learning from past happenings in retrospect. a compulsion distinguishes itself through over-fixation as well as rooted core-fear.
my experience with this:
i dissected a particular mess i got myself into from hundreds of angles almost daily after i got myself out of it. i thought that if i dissected it hard enough, i could catch all of the giveaway signs and would ensure that i would never, ever put myself in that dynamic again – and protect myself. not only was it stressful to follow this thread, but it only stuck me into dead ends and loops of thinking which morphed into other loops of thinking.
breaking down the compulsion:
what is the rooted core-fear?
that i will be in pain again.
what is the irrational belief behind this compulsion?
that there can ever be a certainty.
disputing through REBT: there is no certainty that any situation would repeat itself with the same patterns and giveaway signs. life is too complex. yes, i might get hurt again. yes, i might end up in that dynamic again. yes, i might have to pull myself out of that dynamic again. it might not be pleasant.
i accept the uncertainty of that and the possibility (probability) of pain.
Ask yourself about the kind of life you want: What would you do day to day, and with whom, and where? Consider the life you have. Do one thing today, however small, to close the gap between the two.