#keep your hatred to yourself

[daenerysies]

rhaenyra is as much of a girl’s girl as the society she lives in allows her to be.

book wise she has multiple ladies in waiting (not just alicent, which is a grave oversight in the show), one of which is said to have gouged out her own eyes at the sight of rhaenyra’s murder. that doesn’t sound like someone who isn’t capable of inspiring loyalty from the women around them. rhaenys fully and wholeheartedly supported rhaenyra and her cause, even dying in her attempts to make her the first queen regnant of the seven kingdoms. laena betrothed her daughters to rhaenyra’s sons, ensuring that her blood sat both the iron throne and the driftwood throne, all while being a pretty difficult backing to break due to the wealth and naval power of the velaryons (all of this in spite of the bastardy rumors surrounding jace and luke). the agreement also puts forward how politically astute rhaenyra is, and how she didn’t just rely on her father’s word to put her on the throne. she made alliances using her sons hand in marriage; borros baratheon might not have declared for aegon had a proposal taken place the night luke brought rhaenyra’s terms. baela was only held back from partaking in the many battles because of her dragon’s size, otherwise she would have been right beside her betrothed fighting for rhaenyra. there’s even a chance that rhaena would have joined had she had a rideable dragon of her own. she had mysaria, a former sex worker, as her mistress of whisperers, a very esteemed position on her small council. the cases of rosby and stokeworth have no bearing on this, because they were never named as heirs (along with being literal children during a war time) which is what rhaenyra was using as the basis for her rulership. jeyne arryn knew her own position as lady of the eyrie would be challenged (again) if aegon stepped over rhaenyra and subsequently supported her cause. important women like alysanne blackwood and sabitha frey were key players in cregan’s army.

show wise she is shown in the season two trailer to be taking advice from rhaenys and allowing her to be a part of the war efforts. baela and rhaena are explicitly included on her war council, with rhaena as her cupbearer. moondancer is no longer a hardly rideable dragon and baela seems to be taking direct part in the war. rhaenyra is already shown in a set picture to be communicating with mysaria (whether that’s discussing blood and cheese, the aftermath of it, or something entirely different remains to be seen). these are not the acts of someone who hated other women, and using her falling out with alicent and the resulting enmity between them (that is almost completely one-sided due to the difference in power dynamics) as an excuse to otherwise is worse than strange, considering alicent’s canonical goal was to seat her son, a known violent misogynist, on the throne over a woman who was the named heir to the king.

the green’s entire ideological standpoint is that women cannot rule, ever, for it would make the main members of the green’s powerless, and any other lord or heir’s claim would be up for debate if they have an elder sister. if the iron throne had truly been aegon’s by right alicent, otto, and criston would not have left viserys’ body to rot for days AND they would have had the backing of most of the houses. if alicent had cared more for her children’s wellbeing she would have convened a great council before the war began or considered any other effort that would not lead to her children fighting on dragonback. rhaenyra’s (peaceful) ascension would have at least started the necessary changes needed to grant women more authority and (!) autonomy in the seven kingdoms. queen consorts had significantly less influence after her murder, along with the targaryen’s losing their ability to hatch dragons. rhaenyra does not need to be a feminist for her cause to be inherently feminist by proxy.

rhaenyra was not a feminist, but she did have great love for other women. it’s disingenuous at best and downright insulting at worst to try to paint her as anything else. she inspired loyalty even after her murder. if the black’s cause had truly relied on putting rhaenyra on the throne, her armies would have disbanded once she was dead. instead corlys and larys poisoned aegon, with rhaenyra’s son being placed on the throne afterwards. it was ultimately about bloodlines in the end. jaehaera suffered the unfortunate consequences of an ambitious hand because of her status as aegon’s daughter. it plays directly into how alicent outlived her entire family, besides jaehaera, and went mad with grief, learning to hate the color green. how greed and the allure of power can and will corrupt those who choose to make that a priority in their lives, and how the innocent will usually pay the price for those sins.

#house of the dragon #fire and blood #rhaenyra targaryen #pro rhaenyra targaryen #team black #anti team green #anti team green stans #anti alicent hightower #anti aegon ii targaryen #hate rhaenyra all you want #but stop conflating your hatred of her with factually incorrect takes #the only team constantly harping about feminism #is the team who’s been babied by a show that wants to change the core meaning behind #the dance of the dragons #aegon only having a daughter by the end of it all #and NOT naming her heir #is the most telling result that the war happened #because of rhaenyra’s womanhood #btw i don’t care how ‘interesting’ and ‘full of nuance’ your fav characters are so keep it to yourself :)

[afigureintherain]

JH fandom will say "maybe if Jekyll and Hyde Weekly becomes the next Dracula Daily, we'll get an influx of new fans!"

My brother in christ you can't even handle The Glass Scientists. Watch you all switch up on those hypothetical new fans the moment they have ideas about the source material that aren't the same as yours.

#honestly in not a big fan of tgs anymore but some of you act like it rolled up and personally took a shit in your mothers mouth #there are criticisms to be made but at a certain point it becomes clear your hatred is more about proving yourself as above others #and how youre a bigger fan who understands the original better and more intimate then thise philistine who (checks notes) made hyde not ugly #its all posturing and gate keeping #chill #out #the glass scientists #tgs #jekyll and hyde #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #dr jekyll and mr hyde

[graveyardgremlins]

I'm writting a DPXDC fanfic, which is Constantine centric and sorta trying to mimic the vibes from Hellblazer. So far it's just him pinning and yearning and feeling more guilt than the average catholic, while reseaching weird things that have been happening (It's Danny).

I'm going to do some small, background Dead on Main because I love them. There is going to be a little of Constantine/Zatanna, but they don't get together.

I'm thinking of calling it What thing worthy of love can be found in me? Thoughts?

#dp x dc #john constantine #fanfic #zatanna #little bit of #dead on main #inspired by #hellblazer #because i've been reading it #and obcessing over it #have you ever realized that Constantine has the same initials as Jesus? #imagine being John and carrying your cross (guilt) around #punishing yourself and drowing in self hatred because you keep failing people #only to have something in common with the savior of humanity #to constantly sacrificing your happiness for others #only to have something in common with the one who died for our sins #to think that you're not deserving of love #only to have something in common with that who loves all of us #to being cynical and hopeless #only to have something with the most hopeful and kind human #can you imagine?

[twinkodium]

Here we go again… someone bitching on Lando in Oscar’s tag… you truly don’t have better things to do huh? 🥴🥴

#fuck off and keep your negativity and hatred to yourself #or at least out of the tags that people check to see happy and positive content… #Lola’s ramblings #easy block for that person 😌

[dawningfairytale]

yo so i reblogged something with a tag and i wanted to make it a full post. it’s my own opinion, but very much informed by what i’ve seen on here for more specific situations:

we should focus more on loving the discriminated than hating the oppressors

i understand anger against the oppressors, especially if you are a victim of their actions, and i by no means am telling you to quash that anger. it is fair and justified. however, if you are an ally to a marginalised community, uplift the afflicted rather than just hating the people who cause pain.

#this is literally spread love not war huh #it’s like those ‘why hate jkr when you should put more effort into helping trans people (and other communities affected by her hatred) #it’s not a ‘being mad makes you just as bad as them’ bc. no. the anger is justified #ESPECIALLY when coming from the people harmed by the actions of oppressors #however. the people who are being harmed are experiencing hatred. give them some love instead. it won’t compensate but it will help #contrast this with bullying someone who will never see your words #sometimes aiding the marginalised means violence. sometimes (basically all the time) it means listening and learning to be better yourself #but keep in mind i am a teenager. literally what do i know. please corrrct me if i haven’t made anything clear enough #or am wrong #bc i’m wrong a lot

[bal-diz]

this is truly ripping me apart

#god #as if there arent enough things that are breaking my heart already #why do i keep pushing for him #damn #i fucking suck bruh #and today all those things i said ughhh fuck this #i shouldnt have said anything i swear i do this all the time #ok i didnt know i felt this awful about today until i started typing but im now realizing that i truly despise #ok nvm nvm this is too much info about my self hatred #its just #ugh #UGH #do you ever feel repulsed by yourself #like straight up gagging when you realize youre you #because damn

[imlivingliferightnow]

I hate f1blr sometimes, it's exhausting

#Sometimes I ask myself #Why am I even here still #There is so much hatred these days #Why can't people keep their mouth shut and let other people enjoy their driver doing good? #Why do people feel the need to bash every single thing some driver does #It's so exhausting #Praise people #Be happy #Be sad #Idc #But don't hate on people for no reason #Just imagine writing those hate posts about yourself or your friends #How would you feel like if someone had written those things about you? #think about that for a second #F1 #F1blr #Formula 1 #canadian gp 2022 #Canadian gp

[s4crificial-a]

LOUIE INTRODUCTION & TAG DROP. 

The Nachzehrer.

Louie’s story begins in a casket after being the first to die of a ravaging respiratory disease. His impoverished family wrapped him in a thin, white burial shroud, carried out his funeral in their small home, and invited their neighbors to speak their prayers and bid him farewell. 

That night, under a heavy full moon, Louie awakened, ate through his burial shroud, and freed himself, having been reborn as a bloodthirsty monster.

In a frenzy, he slaughtered his parents, siblings, close relatives, funeral attendants, and eventually his entire village, until sunrise snapped him from his thirsty trance. 

Distraught with his mistakes, Louie abandoned his village and vanished. 

Two centuries later, he emerged as the founder and chief executive officer of Plasmaworks, a corporation dedicated to donating healthy blood to wealthy, vampiric clientele. 

In the human world, PMW is known as a plasma center with stringent protocols, and excellent customer service. As a member of high society, Louie is slowly emerging as a noble influence, using his resources to hunt belligerent vampires and slay them. 

He hates his own kind, and he hates himself for what he’s become. His ultimate goal is to erase the primitive need to hunt for human blood and reduce unnecessary deaths. 

#{ louie ; open starter } — how dare you approach me. #{ louie ; closed starter } — embrace my hatred. #{ louie ; answered } — i am not a book for you to entertain yourself with. go. #{ louie ; drabble } — and yet the sun insists on keeping me here. #{ louie ; study } — the reluctant hunter. #{ louie ; aesthetic } — blood consumes the unwanting mind. #{ louie ; musings } — thoughts of a dead immortal. #{ louie ; ic } — i never asked to rise from death. #{ v ; venom } — my thirst is a curse. your blood is my freedom.

[chatonmagique]

I wish I could find more belonging and comfort in my own face when I see it reflected back at me. I wish I could smile at myself and think

"yea she's kind of fun, she is soft and radiating a genuine warmth"

"She's me but also my friend and she deserves to be taken care of"

"I see confidence and it makes her shine brighter"

I know it's what people who care more about me then I do would want. It's what I want.

#healing and acceptance is hard #One day I“ll seek proper treatment to feel at home in my own body and find at least some sort of steady neutrality #I find the mornings and the nights hardest because the lightning is meh and jt makes me feel instantly bad when I see myself #body dysmorphia #please distance yourself from the bully the karen the debbie downer im your mind #Whoever feels the same you are worthy keep practicing feelin it #personal #diary #thoughts #bdd #body dysmorphic disorder #I'm tired of negativity #The best I can do is ward off downright hatred and be somewhat aware of bdd messing with me making me way more upset about appearance #I don't think the illness is lying but it's making me super aware of anything unapealing and spiral #and I don't have a selfesteem healthy enough to fight is with thoughts like “oh that's not important”

[tf2heritageposts]

hello brothers and sisters

you’re probably well aware of what kosa is after this point, but if you don’t, it’s a bill that is going to be reviewed by the senate this monday(february 26th, 2024) to see if it’ll pass and move onto the house.

if it passes, queer people and queer topics will be heavily censored online, as well as topics such as Palestine.

don’t panic quite yet though, as there IS still time to help prevent it passing in the senate, and also if it DOES pass in senate, it will have to also pass the house(which is a clusterfuck right now).

you can help stop it passing by emailing/calling your senate AND house representative and telling them WHY you oppose this bill. it’s important you call both of them

if you don’t know who your senate/house representatives are:

senate: https://www.congress.gov/members/find-your-member

house: https://ziplook.house.gov/htbin/findrep_house?ZIP=

if you don’t know what to say, use these two scripts

USE THIS IF YOUR SENATOR/REPRESENTATIVE IS REPUBLICAN:

USE THIS IF YOUR SENATOR/REPRESENTATIVE IS DEMOCRAT:

and finally, make sure not to panic and keep yourself informed. the bill still has to pass house before it can be signed by biden(who really wants the bill to pass, so if you’re calling a republican with your script, maybe include that). this can take weeks or months, or it even can die in house if we are able to make it stall long enough

we also need to make a very big stink about kosa and make it trend wherever we possibly can(tumblr, twitter, tiktok, etc), and make sure people KNOW our hatred for the bill. use the hashtag #stopkosa so it can hopefully trend

i’d heavily encourage you to reblog this so the word can be spread, but know you are NOT a bad person if you don’t reblog it. i too have ocd and understand

for more resources:

here is a link to the stop kosa discord so you can get advice and updates on kosa

and here are some links with more information, call scripts, and petitions

good luck men

#not a heritage post #stop kosa

[what-is-this-bakwaas]

.

#i need to let out some stuff #since i can't and DO NOT want to speak to this person #i'll just write them everything I want to say to them #first of all are you okay like genuinely okay #idk why i wonder if you're doing okay even tho you made me feel like complete shit #just wanna know if you're okay #i think about you way too much it annoys me #you tend to keep a lot to yourself and your mind is all over the place but i hope you know that everything will work out in the end #dont be too hard on yourself please #and good things are coming #your past has been difficult and painful but i promise not everyone is here to hurt you. if only you give a chance to good things #are you still starting that new program in fall #even tho you're a fucking rat i still wish you succeed in whatever you do #do you know i pray for you? i keep you in my duas bc i dont want to keep this hatred for u in my heart. i dont want to feel anything for u #how are you processing your reconnection with your dad? #i know you say you don't feel anything but that shit is still heavy. i hope you're able to get the answers you're looking for #i hope you find some peace from it and that you get some type of closure #are your friends still the same shitty assholes #you lowkey deserve better and i hope you find an environment that will help you actually grow #and become a way better person cause i know you have so much potential. you're just with the wrong crowd #match your words with your actions. you'll get very far in life #i find ways to talk about you. mostly negative but i just keep mentioning you bc i miss u. and i hate this. i dont want to miss u #i hate you and at the same time i don't #i hope you leave my mind very soon #i still don't understand why you acted the way you did and if u even feel bad for hurting me

[criminalamnesia]

everyone’s asking for a part two so here is more angst bc cedar by gracie abrams is perfect for this [ also inspired by what @shotmrmiller said in their reblog :)) ]

part one here

part three (aka version 1 of the ending) here

part three (ending version 2) here

it’s odd coming home to an empty house. unnerving, even. he doesn’t like it— dislikes it even more than he did your celebrations. fuck, he’d kill for those damn streamers right now.

“love?” his voice is soft as he calls out into the dark, once lively little flat. it hasn’t felt this big since before you had moved in.

he takes a few more steps inside, toeing off his boots and letting his backpack fall to the floor. by now, you would’ve been launching yourself into his arms. where were you? you’d never missed the day he came home. ever. you would have it marked on your calendar from the day he left, exclamation points and stars decorating the date.

“love?” he calls again, his voice a little louder. he keeps moving; notices there’s no smell of freshly baked goods or a home-cooked meal.

he rounds the corner, his eyes instantly finding the little note propped up on the dining table. eyebrows furrowed, he approaches. it’s addressed to him, clearly in your handwriting.

he reads it, and he really should’ve seen all of this coming.

he doesn’t cry. doesn’t even feel sad, really. it’s not like he hadn’t loved you— he had, but sometimes you made it really damn difficult to. your constant touches and words, doting on him, talking his ear off about this and that. he’d loved it at first, then came to tolerate it, and eventually he found himself hating it.

it wasn’t fair to you. he didn’t hate you, he hated the naivety. the unconditional love. partners were supposed to show each other that kind of love, were they not? so why did he come to despise it?

perhaps it was some deep rooted self-hatred. something dark and twisted inside of him that had done too much and taken life. killed and killed and killed. watched his comrades die in a number of ways. slowly. quickly. suddenly. brutally.

it hollowed him out, but it was his job. it was his job to do what he could for the damn world— get his hands dirty so people like you would never have to worry about a damn thing.

he should’ve seen it coming. you had been acting a little odd the last time he was home, he realizes now. detached, almost. quieter. he had cherished the quiet then.

now it was weird. he didn’t know how to feel.

he placed the note back down onto the table before making his way into the kitchen. some utensils were missing. some plates and bowls. the colorful dishrags you’d hung from the stove handle. the little plant you’d stationed in front of the window above the sink.

all the pictures of the two of you remained on the fridge. he could see in the photos how he slowly became detached. but you— god, you wore that dazzling smile in every photo.

he turned around and headed towards the bedroom.

——————————————————————

there wasn’t really any defining closure. you’d left the note, sure, but he hadn’t gotten to speak his piece.

would he have begged you to stay? told you to leave?

he didn’t know. all he knew was that it wasn’t fair to you, how he acted. what he did.

he also knew that if you called, or if you showed up and said you forgot something, or hell, if he saw you on the street, he’d say something. apologize at least, because that’s the least you deserved.

but you didn’t, and after a few days, he stopped thinking about you. what you’d be telling him right now if you were there. stopped thinking about how you sang when you cooked dinner. how you would reach for his hand when the two of you were in the grocery store.

how you would throw those damn ‘welcome home!’ parties.

he fell back into who he was, and your memory became nothing but a minuscule dot on a large piece of paper.

but for you? you had been miserable when you’d shown up at your friends apartment. cried into her shoulder as you told her about the note. sobbed as you realized that he didn’t care about you, and how you’d wasted so much time on this man who didn’t give a damn.

but even still, when you stirred in the middle of the night, you expected to feel his hands around your body. expected him to press a kiss to your head as you drifted back to sleep.

you woke up and expected him to be there. you forgot that he wasn’t yours. you found yourself missing him, even though you’d starting doing that far before you actually left.

it took the man you loved days to move on. it took you months— almost a year. he put you in fucking therapy, for god’s sake, because that shit messes with someone.

loving someone so completely, so wholly, only to finally realize it’s one sided? it’s crushing. he crushed you. but you picked up the pieces, and you put yourself back together.

you move on. find someone who actually cares for you— someone who communicates and doesn’t lose interest. someone who appreciates your enthusiasm. someone who returns it.

and when the man that broke your heart several years ago tries to stop you on the street one day,

you keep walking.

#simon riley angst #simon riley x gn reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #john price drabble #john price fic #john price x reader #john price #captain price fic #captain price x reader #captain price #angst #ghost x y/n #ghost x gn reader #ghost x you #ghost angst #ghost call of duty #ghost x reader #ghost cod #john price angst #price angst #cod mw2 fic #cod mw2 #cod mw2 angst

[wilczmin]

thank god i saved all my tags.

&    ‘    i graduated from the school of the snail .    *    ooc . &    ‘    this is mine now . get your own .    *    save . &    ‘    starter .    *    ic . &    ‘    thread .    *    ic . &    ‘    answered .    *    ooc . &    ‘    answered .    *    ic .

&    ‘    there's a grain of truth in every fairy tale .    *    study . &    ‘    vanity is a pitiful defence against difference .    *    musing . &    ‘    witcher … with tenure .    *    mannerism . &    ‘    more is necessary than destiny .    *    headcanon . &    ‘    if i had a bag over my head and my hands tied .    *    skills . &    ‘    whatever is destined must occur .    *    aesthetic . &    ‘    love the profit of your neighbour like your own .    *    art . &    ‘    they say silence is golden .    *    music . &    ‘    then i prefer not to choose at all .    *    self promo . &    ‘    you should listen to the voice of reason .    *    promo . &    ‘    it’s enough to kill hatred within yourself .    *    meme . &    ‘    the sword of destiny has two edges .    *    wishlist . &    ‘    keep the gods out of it .    *    edits . &    ‘    your arse hair white too ?    *    crack . &    ‘    but a queue made must be honoured .    *    queue .

&    ‘    the only one to live out of all those chosen .    *    i . &    ‘    & looked for the words 'witcher urgently needed' .    *    ii . &    ‘    neutral does not mean indifferent or insensitive .    *    iii . &    ‘    a destiny which is stronger than the royal will .    *    iv . &    ‘    their place of internment remains unknown .    *    v . &    ‘    you were a rider of the wild hunt .    *    vi . &    ‘    barely breathing and bereft of memory .    *    vii . &    ‘    hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated .    *    viii . &    ‘    doubt i’d know how to be anything else .    *    ix . &    ‘    thought we had a lot more time .    *    x . &    ‘    no witcher’s ever died in his own bed .    *    xi . &    ‘    tell them the white wolf bit them .    *    xii . &    ‘    one day they’ll look back and see the wolf .    *    xiii . &    ‘    & overcome your nature through great effort .    *    xiv . &    ‘    a canvas : following the voice of genuine vocation .    *    xv .

#& ‘ i graduated from the school of the snail . * ooc . #& ‘ this is mine now . get your own . * save . #& ‘ starter . * ic . #& ‘ thread . * ic . #& ‘ answered . * ooc . #& ‘ answered . * ic . #& ‘ there's a grain of truth in every fairy tale . * study . #& ‘ vanity is a pitiful defence against difference . * musing . #& ‘ witcher … with tenure . * mannerism . #& ‘ more is necessary than destiny . * headcanon . #& ‘ if i had a bag over my head and my hands tied . * skills . #& ‘ whatever is destined must occur . * aesthetic . #& ‘ love the profit of your neighbour like your own . * art . #& ‘ they say silence is golden . * music . #& ‘ then i prefer not to choose at all . * self promo . #& ‘ you should listen to the voice of reason . * promo . #& ‘ it’s enough to kill hatred within yourself . * meme . #& ‘ the sword of destiny has two edges . * wishlist . #& ‘ keep the gods out of it . * edits . #& ‘ your arse hair white too ? * crack . #& ‘ but a queue made must be honoured . * queue . #& ‘ the only one to live out of all those chosen . * i . #& ‘ & looked for the words 'witcher urgently needed' . * ii . #& ‘ neutral does not mean indifferent or insensitive . * iii . #& ‘ a destiny which is stronger than the royal will . * iv . #& ‘ their place of internment remains unknown . * v . #& ‘ you were a rider of the wild hunt . * vi . #& ‘ barely breathing and bereft of memory . * vii . #& ‘ hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated . * viii . #& ‘ doubt i’d know how to be anything else . * ix .

[a-candy-wrapper]

One ghosts me because I'm weird or just wants to move on from 'that' work life,

Another ghosts me because they think they're the only one working their arse off.

I am not fit for this place, obviously. I shouldn't have been here.

#wrinkled candy wrapper #if you wanna keep living by lying in the reports #chase the impossible goals our stupid employers set for us #go ahead #of you wanna blame ME for 'not doing enough' well #go kark yourself #kark im still so mad #if i don't acknowledge myself feeling angry and disappointed at you it's just gonna be an endless spiral of self-hatred #i hate you #i don't want to see your face again #you ghost me in the end #after everything we went through together #you are welcome to think of me as the most vile whatever #because you're just an addition to my list #i will remove myself from your life #so live peacefully now #idk how you can do that when you just keep on lying

[milo-is-rambling]

Redyed my hair (a slightly deeper pink shade but basically the same) and now I’m laying in bed thinking about all the ways I’ve changed who I am and what I believe over the years and I don’t recognize who I was when I was young but I sympathize with them even more than I ever thought I could I just don’t think of those pictures of me as actually being me because my mind has always been this and I’m sure years from now I won’t recognize myself now because obviously my mind has always been whoever I am then

#idk something about your mind maturing when you aren’t paying attention and then suddenly you feel like you’re twelve again from some stupid #memory and you’re struggling to even remember what it felt like to be in those shoes and you don’t know how much is repressing trauma and #how much is you smoking weed constantly and how much is you being depressed and so suicidal and mentally ill in your early teens that you #didn’t even bother to attempt to make memories so now anything you do remember drags you back to the worst depression of your life and you #forgot how bad it was until someone else brings it up and suddenly you’re that kid crying and hurting yourself and begging anyone to care #and being abandoned and laughed at and you feel like it will never end and then you open you’re eyes and it hasn’t been that way in years #and you’d struggle to even believe yourself because everyone else ignores the way they treated you growing up so now yoh internalize it and #assume you’re just crazy for these memories you have cause surely your family didn’t laugh at you sobbing surely they didn’t bandage your #self harm wounds and then sit you at the table and scream at you about homework and then your mother talks about her therapist and suddenly #having someone in her life to put your adhd in perspective and she realizes that maybe there were reasons you were struggling other than #being lazy but she never apologized she still doesn’t apologize and you don’t bring it up you don’t tell her you remember but the silence #between you is deafening and you can both tell you’re forgetting something and you don’t know what the other person doesn’t know #haha yeah anyways #my mothers therapy is going good and she’s finally realizing that her kid and her husband had very similar adhd patterns that affected their #entire lives and we’re not as visible and her sons adhd patterns where he was more hyperactive #like I’m happy she’s learning to deal with all this shit but now that she’s in therapy and talking about all these things with me growing up #while somehow not at all talking about all the bad shit it makes me feel like she doesn’t even know she did anything wrong and I don’t want #her to feel worse about it rn cause there’s nothing she can do and we’ve moved past it but like I still can’t cry in front of people without #this deep pit of self hatred and thinking someone’s going to laugh at me when I show real emotions so I keep it all inside until I explode #but yeah at least she feels better about herself now #like legit I am happy for her and I don’t want to make her therapy about me but like god damn woman just admit anything you did and apologiz #so I know that you know it wasn’t the right thing to do #acknowledge that you hurt and scarred me so I won’t feel so fucking crazy all the time #I got kind of poetry ish in the middle there but I went back to being bitchy ranty soon enough so now I’m gonna go smoke real weed and try #to sleep without thinking thoughts or using my brain for anything other than bodily functions

[rizsu]

ex-husband!gojo, who wakes up every morning to his disappointment. it's been well over a couple months, yet he still extends his arm to feel for you.

ex-husband!gojo, who still has your contact saved as his main emergency contact. he uses this to his advantage— ringing your phone with the excuse of being "too drunk to drive." it works. he isn't exactly high off his brain, but he has alcohol in his system.

ex-husband!gojo, who happened to spot you with another man. who is he? is he your friend? your lover? perhaps you met after the divorce? whatever the status is, it doesn't help to soothe his jealousy. it's not like he can walk up to you — you might issue a restraining order against him.

ex-husband!gojo, who finds himself at your doorstep. it's late, storming, and you're probably asleep. he doesn't move. mind set in chaos as he ponders whether he should leave or ring the bell. he wants to see you, but the look of disgust he might receive is something he isn't ready to face.

ex-husband!gojo, who's shocked that you opened the door. he didn't ring the bell. were you already there? probably. his throat ran dry, unable to speak a word. you're leaning on the door's frame, arms crossed as you tilt your head. "you need something, gojo?" you asked, not willing to receive an answer.

"can i — can i come in?" he stutters, a little shocked at the use of his surname. the little sparkle of hope that you continue using his first name has been dusted.

ex-husband!gojo, who's fidgety in your home. your silence isn't helping him relax. hell, he hasn't known relaxation ever since the divorce. "help yourself to the kitchen. sleep wherever, i'm going back to bed," your voice held no volume of softness. it was as if you were but a stranger, yet he refuses to let you become one.

"then, may i sleep in your room? on the floor, of course," he's hesitant with his request, deciding it's best to justify himself, "i don't know my way around this house."

ex-husband!gojo, who's yet again stunned that you allowed him in your room — let alone your bed. now he's as still as a stick, unable to fall asleep due to his itching urge to pull you into him. you're most likely sound asleep, uncaring to the man you once called your husband.

ex-husband!gojo, who calls out to you, keeping his voice low as he speaks, "can we talk?"

you replied to him, voice still holding its tone of harshness, "what is there to talk about?"

"anything. how's life been for you?" he keeps his speech short, afraid of annoying you. it's a little late for that, however. you're already annoyed by the attempt of useless talks. "just get to the point, gojo."

and so he follows, sighing before he reveals his intentions, "i fucking missed you, that's all."

ex-husband!gojo, who's surprised when you sat up. although your room holds no light due to the black-out curtains, his eyes adjusted to its darkness, being able to see your every feature. your face, hands, neck, collarbone, chest — everything. he misses being able to run his hands through your body ever-so lovingly. when you lowered yourself right above his face, his eyes kept your gaze. your jaw's clenched. why does he look as if he lost everything? wasn't the divorce mutual?

ex-husband!gojo, who's rendered speechless when your voice cracked. he didn't expect it, nor did he expect you to say what you did. "i missed you, too." did you really miss him? he feels as though he's being lied to. raising a hand to cup your cheek, he shares his words, "really? then why not act on it if you're not lying?"

ex-husband!gojo, who happily accepts your kiss, moving his hand from your cheek to your nape. softly pushing you closer to himself — and to deepen the kiss. it's soft but rough. passionate but seeping with hatred. it's everything at once. you're pulling at his hair, purposefully tugging it as if you're using it to distract yourself from the escaping emotions. he's the same. using his other hand to travel along the junction of your neck and shoulder, squeezing it each time he feels to let the tears flow.

#+ rizsu: jujutsu kaisen. #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo angst #gojo satoru headcanons #jjk headcanons