#kelley takes the floor

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

I wish you and your little one the biggest happiness in the world !! May she have a beautiful life!

Thank you so much!

I'm going to do my very best as a mother. She'll be surrounded by love, so so much! She has three sets of grandparents in the same town so she'll probably be spoiled rotten lol.

My husband is going to dote on her and teach her gymnastics and bouldering and take her hiking and kayaking. I won't be as entertaining, but I'll kiss all the boo boos and read her stories every night. <3

#kelley takes the floor

[desperate-gay]

Pls pls write for ali

Victory

Ali Krieger x fem!reader

The game is intense. Both teams have been playing hard, leading it to be 0-0 after the full ninety minutes, causing it to head into overtime. It’s 105 minutes in and Gotham has taken control of the ball. Kristie passes it downfield and it continues to move forward as Portland’s defenders scramble to guard the ball, but because they’re a little behind, it leaves a space allowing Katie to shoot the ball and hit the back of the bet.

The whole stadium goes wild, including you standing up with Sloane on your hip, cheering with the crowd. She looks around cluelessly with noise-canceling headphones, making her look even more adorable than usual. Kyle alongside you has Ocean in his arms while pumping his fist up and down at the new lead.

Only 14 minutes later, they are advancing to the finals. Ali looks up into the stands with a bright smile, seeing her family witness her journey through her career, but she is quickly pulled aside by her teammates who continue to chant they’re not finished yet.

After a few more minutes, you and Kyle make your way onto the turf with the kids to meet up with the captain. Kelley, Kristie, and Lynn all talk with her but once she sees you approaching, she excuses herself and jogs over.

“Mama won.” Sloane slurs with a cute little grin.

“Yes, she did!” You exclaim as you continue to bounce the little girl on your hip, something she has always enjoyed for whatever reason.

Ali laughs and takes Ocean out of Kyle’s arms without her smile breaking once. “I’m so happy you’re all here. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

“We’d do anything for you, sis. Right, Y/n/n?” He wraps his arm around Ali’s shoulder before nudging you to answer. You divert your attention back to the girl and notice she’s already staring back at you.

“Of course. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

You all stand around and talk for a bit with a few of her teammates. The Portland breeze picks up, making it feel much chillier than it actually is. You’re only covered by a thin zip-up, not thinking the temperature would drop mid-game and freeze you half to death. Your shivering is noticed by Ali, so she shrugs off her coat and rests it on your shoulders before taking Sloane from your hands into her other arm.

“Ali, you’ll be cold now. I’ll be fine-“

“You’re clearly cold and you need to warm up. I’m hot anyways.” She shrugs you off and talks to both of the kids in her arms. You’re lucky that the bitter weather makes your cheeks rosy or she definitely would’ve noticed the deep blush rushing to your cheeks at the gesture.

You have been friends with Ali since forever. Your feelings for her have grown stronger and stronger as time moved on to the point where you’re now sure you’re in love with her. The only problem is that she split from Ashlyn months ago and you were her shoulder to cry on through her heartbreak. To you, it’s still too soon to even think about making a move, especially when she has more important things to think about like her retirement and her kids.

Sloane and Ocean have become important to you as well, treating them as one of your own. The little girl is a goofball and the little boy is a bit of a stinker at times, but nothing makes you love them any less. Ali sees the way you interact with them which makes her melt to the floor, knowing that you’re perfect in any way.

Long before the divorce, she knew it was over with Ashlyn for a while. They both argued constantly and Ali didn’t want the kids to grow up in a toxic environment. When Ashlyn cheated, she weirdly felt relieved. Maybe it was because it made her feel less guilty for growing feelings for you. Her best friend.

When the split happened, she ran to you. Even if she knew it was going to happen, it was still devastating. No matter what caused the divorce, she’ll still always care for her ex-wife, and knowing everything is changing with her career, love, and family, it breaks her. You’re there for it all. Her ups and downs, highs and lows. You assure her she’s stuck with you forever.

So here you are now, in Portland watching the captain survive and advance to the finals. Kyle drove you and the kids since Ali had to arrive a little earlier to get ready, but she insists her brother heads back to his hotel and she’ll take everyone back with her.

“Let me go wash off and gather my things then I’ll meet you here. Are you okay with watching them for a couple of minutes?” The taller girl asks, gesturing to the two toddlers in your arms.

You wave her off the best you can with her busied hand and say, “I’m sure I can handle these angels. Now hurry! I want to get back to the hotel.”

“Jeez, I thought I was bossy.” She snarks, walking away but not before the tip of your foot meets with her behind. “Ow! Meany.” You stick your tongue out on her which she returns, causing the kids in your arms to giggle at their Mama’s banter.

Kelley walks out with Kristie and sees the two giggling toddlers. Rushing over to you, she drops her bag, holds out her hands with a grabby gesture, and takes Ocean from your left arm. Kristie quickly follows and pulls Sloane into hers, allowing her arms to relax from the removed weight.

“I’ve missed you two.” Kelley coos at the boy while sticking her finger out for him to wrap his tiny hands around.

“I want one.” The blonde next to you frowns. “Can I keep her?”

“Mmm, I don’t think Kriegs would be happy with me if I sell her children-“

Your statement is cut off by the locker room door opening, revealing the said girl with dampened hair and a bag swung over her shoulders. “I leave you for a few minutes and you’re already auctioning off my babies?”

“Am not! Kristie is thinking about stealing Sloane!” You defend yourself while pointing to the girl.

“Hey!”

Ali chuckles and wraps her arm around your waist, pulling you into her chest. You don’t know if she realizes what she’s doing, but you’re far from complaining about the closeness. You both watch as your guys' two friends continue to mess with the children before you see them yawn.

“Alright, time to go. Gotta put these two to sleep.”

Kristie frowns but reluctantly hands Sloane over to you anyway. You smile sympathetically and pat her back with your free hand.

“I’m going to call Sam and ask for one now. I’ll see you two later.” The girl hops off on her phone, most likely already face-timing her Australian fiancé.

Kelley also bids her goodbyes, parting ways from the four of you, letting you all finally walk out to the car. You both buckle them in before you settle into the passenger seat and Ali in the driver.

The car ride remains silent besides the quiet hum of the radio in the background. You keep your gaze out the window, watching the unfamiliar buildings pass and the stars in the sky. The two toddlers in the back both fall asleep due to it being past their bedtime and the eventful day they had.

As you pull into the hotel parking lot, you unbuckle your seatbelt and turn around to look at the peaceful two.

“They’re so precious.” You mumble in awe to which Ali hums in agreement, also looking with you.

You both grab their sleeping forms and head into the hotel room. You’ve been staying with Kyle at his, but since she insisted on driving you back, you follow her into her room, thinking she might want to hang out for a bit. When in the room, you both first change the kids' clothes and place them into their little cribs for the night.

Ali sighs and thumps onto the bed in the middle of the room with her hands covering her face. Her shirt rides up due to her arms lifting, exposing her muscular stomach. You sit at the edge of the mattress and admire the beauty in front of you. A clearing of a throat breaks your stare and turns your attention to the brunette who is now sat up staring at you with a ghost of a smirk.

Heat once again radiates onto your face, embarrassing you further proving you just got caught. The best moves and the sheets shuffle from her moving to sit next to you. She nudges her shoulder with hers as she continues to look at your side profile.

Breaking the silence she says, “I’m happy you came with us to Portland. It means a lot to me; you being here through everything.”

“Like I said, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

You look up back at her and your stomach twists at the sight of her gaze remaining on you. With both of your heads turned, your nose is almost hitting against hers. For a second, you swear you saw her eyes flick down to your lips, but maybe your eyes are deceiving you, feeding into your delusional mind that thinks she may feel the same.

Surprisingly, your mind wasn’t faking you out. Her hand reaches out and rests on your cheek, the soft pad of her thumb stroking your skin gently. She slowly leans in closer when she sees you look at her lips, taking it as a sign you’re not going to find her disgusting.

“Is this okay?” The brunette asks as her lips hover over yours. You nod instantly, not trusting your voice at the moment.

That’s when it finally happens. Her lips slot into yours like a missing piece to a puzzle you worked ages on. The kiss is firm, not too soft to make you think she’s unsure, but not too rough to make you think there’s no meaning behind it. As it continues, her other hand moves down and strokes your thigh which makes you crumble even more into the kiss while your hands rest lightly on her chest.

It lasts until you two need air, pulling away you rest your forehead against hers, giggling lightly in delight.

“What are you giggling about?” She smiles at the sweet sound.

“I just can’t believe this is happening. I’m really happy is all.”

Your right-hand slides itself to the back of her neck and rubs up and down, soothing the tense muscles. She sighs in relief from the feeling and pulls away slightly to be able to look at you. If she was a cartoon, hearts would appear in her eyes from seeing you smile softly at her and your doe eyes roaming her face.

Not being able to control herself, she pulls you in again and places multiple pecks on your lips, causing you to giggle at the outburst and try to lightly shove her off. She finally stops when she hears a quiet whine from the crib which makes the both of you pause and see if you woke one of the toddlers up. Lucky for you, they must have fallen back asleep as quickly as they woke up.

Ali moves to lie down on the mattress before opening her arms wide, signaling for you to lay down with her. You slot yourself comfortably into her embrace and cuddle into her chest. She presses one final peck to your head before whispering, “You are the one for me.”

You tap her waist 3 times, telling her you feel the same, something you've both done ever since you started hanging out. Both exhausted from the thrilling day, it doesn’t take long for slumber to take over your bodies, making you miss the quiet buzz from your phone.

brother kriegs<3

im hoping you finally made the move since youre not here. cant wait for you to be my sister-in-law. i have been dreaming of this day since you admitted your feelings xx

#ali krieger x reader #ali krieger #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fic #woso #kelley o'hara #kristie mewis #gotham fc #nwsl #uswnt #lgbtq

[lets-get-saucy]

Collecting Strays - Kelley O’Hara X Reader (platonic)

Summary: Miss Kelley is known for making friends with younger players and taking them under her wing. When she notices you, a rookie at Gotham, are having a bad day, she does what she can to make you feel better, adding you to her collection of younger players she looks out for.

Warnings: slight angst  

It had been less than a month since you signed with Gotham. Just a few short weeks ago your mom had helped you move in to your new apartment and get set up in this new city. At first everything was fine. You seemed to fit in well with the team making a few friends with your fellow teammates.

One in particular was Kelley O’Hara. One your very first day with Gotham, Kelley took you under her wing, showing you around, giving you tips during training, and just being a supportive teammate.

Normally, you were excited for practice but today you just couldn’t muster up the energy to even try to seem excited to be there. First, your coffee had spilt in your car leaving you un-caffeinated. Then, you couldn’t stop shivering as you walked outside to the training pitch. The wind was blowing in your face making you even colder despite the training jacket you had on. The sky seemed to get greyer and greyer as training went on. You also weren’t playing as well as you could.

At the end of practice you took a deep breath, not wanting your teammates to see you cry. Showering as quickly as possible and throwing on clothes, you quickly made your way out of the changing room trying to avoid conversation.

Today was just a hard day, your teammates didn’t need to know that.

You were halfway out the building when a hand on your shoulder stopped you.

“Hey kid,” Kelley said turning you to face her, “what’s up? You’ve been off all day.”

You try to shrug off Kelley’s hand, not bothering to take your eyes off the floor.

“Nothing’s up, I’m just having an off day,” you lie.

“That’s not going to work with me kid,” Kelley crossed her arms in front of her.

Still not looking up you just shrug in response.

“Come on, your gonna come over to my place,” Kelley demanded pushing you towards the door.

“Kelley, really I’m fine I just want to go back to my apartment,” you try and pull away from her.

“Spending an hour at my apartment wont kill you,” Kelley said practically dragging you to her car.

That’s how you ended up on Kelley’s couch, hot chocolate in hand watching some random show.

“So, you want to talk about it yet?” Kelley ask, once you finish your drink setting down.

“No, not really,” you say, turning your attention back to the tv.

Kelley lets out an exaggerated sigh, causing you to roll your eyes.

“I told you early, I’m fine.” Looking over Kelly arches an eyebrow, causing you to sigh this time. “Okay, it’s my mom’s birthday and I miss home and I miss my dog and I really wish I could be there celebrating with everyone and I love it here but…”

Kelley cuts you off “woah, take a deep breath,” pulling you into a hug you burry your face in her neck wrapping your arms around the older woman.

You hadn’t realized you were crying but now it felt like you couldn’t stop.

“I miss home,” you whimper in Kelley’s embrace.

“Shh, I know,” she says rubbing your back. “I know.”

You don’t know how long you to stay like that. With you practically in Kelley’s lap letting it all out as she runs her fingers through your hair and rubs your back, holding you until you calm down.

Once she notices your sobs had stopped Kelley pulls back slightly, wiping your tears away.

“I know its hard,” she says her thumb stroking your cheek. “I wont lie to you and tell you it gets easier. In this profession, you’re always going to miss something. Birthdays, holidays, weddings, but you get so much more and make so many amazing memories and travel to new places, it’ll make it worth it. I’m sorry you miss home but just know this team is here for you. I’m here for you.”

Fresh tears make its way down your cheeks and you whip at them with your shirt sleeve. “Thank you Kelley. Not just for today but for being there for me even when I first joined the team.”

“Of course” Kelley smiled pulling you in for a hug. “Now how about we get some ice cream, ice creams guaranteed to make anyone happy.”

You laugh for probably the first time today, “okay.”

It had been a few hours since your breakdown to Kelley but you were still in her apartment. A knock at the door startled you both. Kelley rolled her eyes when a familiar voice called out. You could tell that a few people were outside, namely Rose and Sonnett, but you couldn’t tell who else.

At first you had thought Kelley had invited them over but when someone knocked Kelley rolled her eyes mumbling how some people just wouldn’t leave her alone as she went to open the door. You knew her annoyance was fake though when Jenna walked through the door Jenna launched herself at Kelley. Kelley picked her up spinning the younger girl around. Rose and Sonnett followed behind walking into Kelley's apartment. You smiled in greeting to your teammates.

Sonnett and Rose made their way into the living room, saying quick hellos as Kelley sat Jenna back down on her feet.

“You guys ate ice cream without us,” Sonnett frowned when she noticed the two empty bowls on the coffee table.

“Ice creams for invited guest only,” Kelley said following Jenna and Rose into the living room.

“I’m hurt Miss Kelley,” Sonnett placed a hand over her heart pretending to be offended.

“What are you guys watching,” Rose said sitting down between you and Sonnett.

“Just some trash reality tv show,” You said causing Kelley to scoff.

“First, they barge in then you insult the tv shows I watch.”

“We should watch a movie,” Jenna interrupts as she squeezes herself in between Sonnett and Rose.

“I agree,” Sonnett picks up the remote, looking for a movie to watch.

“You guys know this is my apartment, right?” Kelley is still standing, her hands on her hips looking at all of you.

“Please Miss Kelley? That show was boring,” you stick out your bottom lip, giving Kelley the best puppy-dog eyes you can.

“Sonnett, look what you’ve taught her,” Kelley gasp causing the room to laugh. “My sweet innocent baby calling me Miss Kelley.”

Kelley pinches your cheeks, swatting at her hands trying to get her to stop as the others laugh at you two. “I’m not a baby,” you pout.

“You’re one of the youngest on the team, of course you’re a baby,” Kelley says finally sitting down next to you pulling you into her side.

You cross your arms sinking back into the couch.

“Does that mean I’ve been upgraded Miss Kelley?” Jenna ask leaning forward to look at Kelley.

“Ugh not you too,” Kelley groans covering her face with her hands.

“Shh guys, Sonnett picked a movie,” Rose said kicking her feet up on the coffee table.

The movie started and everyone was quite watching as the opening credits came on the screen.

“Wait!” Jenna stood up from the couch, walking to the kitchen. “We need popcorn.”

After the movie, Sonnett, Rose, and Jenna started getting their things together.

“Thanks Miss Kelley for letting us crash your place,” Jenna said pressing a kiss to Kelley’s cheeks.

“Yeah yeah,” Kelley said taking empty bowls to the kitchen.

A chorus of byes followed as the other women made their way out of Kelley’s apartment, leaving just you and her. You grabbed the remaining bowls from the coffee table, taking them to the kitchen.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Kelley said taking them from your hands.

“It’s okay, it’s the least I can do since you let me stay here all day,” you shrugged.

“If I remember correctly, I had to drag you to my car earlier,” you roll your eyes at Kelley’s response.

You lean against the counter as Kelley loads her dishwasher, “about that, how am I getting to my apartment?”

“Why don’t you just stay her tonight and I’ll drive us to training in the morning?”

You try to come up with an excuse but you don’t have one and you don’t really want to be alone right now any ways.

Nodding, your wrap your arms around yourself, “okay, thanks.”

“Yeah its no problem,” Kelley says giving you a soft smile.

Now that a few hours had gone by you realized you weren’t sad anymore, or as sad. Kelley had succeeded in taking your mind off things. You didn’t realize how desperately you had needed the company. If you hadn’t come over to Kelley’s you would have probably gone back to your apartment after practice and spent all day crying in your bed.

“No Kelley, I mean thank you, for today,” you admit. “I really needed this.”

“I know kid,” Kelley says pulling you in for a hug.

#kelley o'hara #woso #kelley o'hara x reader #woso imagine #woso x reader #miss kelley #gotham fc #nwsl #emily sonnett #rose lavelle #jenna nighswonger #uswnt

[gamergirl929]

No Matter How Far You Run (I'll Always Be Right Behind You) (Alex Morgan x Reader)

You were always told that your wedding day was supposed to be a momentous, and joyful occassion, if that were true, why were you feeling the way you were feeling? Why did you feel like you would never be good enough for Alex Morgan?

You’d gotten into the room over an hour ago, and for nearly the entirety of that hour, you’d been pacing, your palms sweaty and your heart racing, the bow tie around your neck growing tighter and tighter.  

“What about the flowers Em, did we get the right flowers???” You ask, your heart nearly beating out of your chest.  

“We got the right flowers Y/N, I promise.”  

“And the cake?” You ask, screeching to a halt, your hands running down your face. “What about the cake Em?” 

“We got the right cake, Y/N, you gotta calm down, okay?” Emily says, her own hands beginning to shake, your anxiety transferring to her in some form of mass hysteria.  

“What if I screw up my vows?” You ask, giving Emily no time to answer before you’re asking another question.  

“What if Alex decides I’m not worth it?” You gulp, your pacing increasing in speed.  

You continue to mutter unintelligibly under your breath words that Emily can’t quite make out, your anxiety only increasing her own.  

The door slowly creaks open, Kelley O’Hara poking her head through the crack.  

“Has she calmed down yet?” She asks, her brown orbs widening when she realizes Emily is nearly shaking just as much as you are.  

“I’ll take that as a no.” She says, slipping through the crack, the door clicking shut behind her.  

“Y/N, tell me what you’re thinking...” Kelley whispers gently, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. 

You sigh deeply, running your fingers through your hair, your mouth opening and closing as you search for words to describe the emotions you’re feeling.  

“She’s too good for me Kel.” You whisper, the shorter woman shaking her head as you turn to her, tears in your eyes.  

“You’re perfect for one another.” She whispers, tucking a loose strand of hair dangling in your face behind your ear.  

You shake your head, sniffling.  

“What if she regrets marrying me?” You mumble, your words so soft Kelley has to lean in to hear them.  

“She would never regret marrying you.” She smiles softly, her hands settling on your shoulders before she gives them a squeeze.  

You swallow hard, your Y/E/C orbs darting around Kelley’s face considering you’re unable to look her in the eye.  

You shake your head, your mouth opening and closing as you try to find your words the sound of Emily’s chair scooting across the floor making you stiffen.  

“She loves you Y/N.” Emily whispers as she places a comforting hand on your tuxedo covered back.  

“It’ll all be okay, alright?” Kelley whispers, cupping your cheek with one hand, running her thumb along your cheek in comfort.  

You nod, taking a deep breath as you try to calm yourself down, but it’s to no avail your inner turmoil again rearing its ugly head.  

Kelley and Emily’s shoulders sag, the pair feeling ease, despite the fact that you were beginning to tremble again.  

The room, though large enough to comfortably house a group of people feels claustrophobic, the room closing in on you as your heart again begins to race.  

“I can’t do this.” You mutter, causing both Emily and Kelley to jump as you turn on your heels and sprint out of the room, dashing in a random direction, putting as much distance between the pair as you possibly can.  

************************************************************************

You weren’t at all sure where you ended up in the venue, your sense of location completely off as you sprinted in random directions until you found a random room to camp out in.  

You cover your face with your trembling hands; your entire body beginning to shake. 

You knew you shouldn’t feel this way, you knew that this was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but still, you couldn’t escape your own head, one thought followed by another, then another, each thought worse than the last.  

A part of you wanted to remain hidden, to curl up on the other side of the door until the wedding was over, but you knew you couldn’t do that, not to her. 

No matter how much you thought she deserved better, you couldn't break her heart like that. Despite that thought, you remain still, unable to force yourself to your feet.  

You go ridged at the sound of approaching heels, your chest tightening as you hold your breath, hoping that whoever it was would pass by, unaware of your presence.  

Unfortunately for you, the clicking heels stop just behind the door you’re currently leaning against.  

“Y/N?” You hear Alex’s soft whisper, and your eyes widen, the door slowly creaking open.  

“W-Wait, we’re not supposed to see each other.” You stammer, the woman on the other side of the door chuckling.  

“You’re more important than a silly tradition right now.”  

You shake your head, grabbing the edge of the door, holding it closed.  

“I know how important it is to you Alex.” You mutter, your throat bobbing.  

Alex falls silent before the door creaks open a bit wider, her hand slipping between the crack, her palm facing upwards, her fingers wiggling in a silent invitation.  

You take her hand with no sense of hesitation, the tightness in your chest ebbing away slightly.  

The two of you sit in silence, Alex’ fingers delicately playing with your own, the rapid racing of your heart decreasing with each passing second.  

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong? Emily and Kelley said you might be having second thoughts...?” She asks and you take a breath, your throat bobbing as your hands grow clammy.  

You remain silent for a beat, the woman on the opposite side of the door squeezing your hand.  

“Do you...” You stiffen at the sound of the crack in Alex’s voice as she speaks words you know she wished she never would have to speak.  

“Do you not want to get married?” She asks, her voice quivering, your heart sinking in your chest at the soft utterance.  

You remain silent, your mouth opening and closing as you try to put your feelings into words.  

“Alex, there’s nothing I want more than to marry you, but...” You close your eyes, your breath catching in your throat. 

“What if you regret it?” You whisper, the woman on the other side of the door remaining silent as you put your thoughts into words.  

“I’m just going to screw it up, I’ve already screwed it up by running away and hiding like a coward.” You say, knocking your head against the wooden door behind you.  

“I’m not good enough for you, you deserve so much better, you deserve someone who isn’t going to run and hide on what’s supposed to be the best day of your life, and that’s not me.”  

Your heart clenches in your chest when Alex’s hand leaves your own, a lump forming in your throat.  

“Close your eyes.” She whispers, your brows furrowing as your eyes flutter shut.  

The door creaks open softly, your breath hitching as Alex’s hands settle on your chest before finding your shoulders, leading you to believe that she too has her eyes shut, following the tradition she holds dear.  

“You’re more than good enough for me.” She whispers, her fingers tangling in the fine hairs at the base of your neck.  

Her forehead rests gently against yours, her lips ghosting your own as she whispers.  

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I couldn’t and never would regret marrying you.” She says, bumping the tip of her nose against yours.  

“You didn’t screw anything up, and no matter how many times you run away, I’ll always be right behind you, because I love you, Y/N, and you’re worth chasing after.” She whispers, a tear streaming down your cheek, one that Alex quickly swipes away with the tip of her thumb.  

You sniffle, covering her hands with your own as you kiss her lips softly, her manicured nails scrapping the nape of your neck gently.  

Reluctantly you part, neither going far as your noses brush, a small smile stretching across your face.  

“So, should we go get married now?” You whisper a grin stretching across your face as the woman giggles, pecking your lips.  

“I think we should... As long as you still want to...?” She whispers and you smile, leaning your head back to kiss the tip of her nose.  

“There’s nothing I’d want more.”  

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #alex morgan x reader #alex morgan imagine #please let me know what you think

[woso-fan13]

Trouble

“Y/N, are you even paying attention?” a frustrated Vlatko sighs. 

Your gaze focuses on him when you hear your name, sitting up straight in your chair. Your cheeks flush and you squirm slightly when you notice that everyone’s attention is on you. It brings back countless memories of getting in trouble at school either because you couldn’t sit still or because you were too deep in your daydreams to follow directions. 

Today, though, you had been on your best behavior. Even though it felt like you needed to move or you would scream, you kept still the entire meeting. Well, mostly still. And you had done your best to pay attention, but your mind was racing and you knew if you had to stay in your chair much longer, your body would start racing too. 

Christen leans over slightly from her chair next to you, whispering,

“Did you take your meds this morning?”

You knew what she meant- it’s probably what everyone on the team was wondering at this point. It was no secret that you had ADHD, but you usually were on top of taking your medications. Except there was currently a shortage on (it seems like) everything, including Adderall. But you would be playing intense soccer for hours a day, and spending your free time in the gym. You really didn’t think anyone would notice if you skipped a few doses. 

You shake your head no, looking at your lap to avoid her eyes. Christen gives a slight nod, looping an arm around you and pulling you closer. She keeps her arm wrapped firmly around you as a grounding pressure, and deposits her other hand in your lap. You get the hint quickly, and start fidgeting with her rings, trying to keep yourself occupied. It wasn’t an ideal solution, and it certainly wasn’t long-term, but it should allow you to sit still for the last 20 minutes of the meeting. 

—-

Almost as soon as the meeting ended, most of the team headed out to the field. Practice was already done for the day, but there was a collective agreement to try and wear you out before the sun went down. 

Becky headed into the back, grabbing a bag of soccer balls. Coming to centerfield, she unceremoniously dumped them out and let everyone loose. You instantly grab a ball and start juggling until someone gently kicks it away from you. Kelley’s standing in front of you, eyebrow quirked in challenge. Honestly, she may only be doing it because she was your roommate and she wouldn’t be able to sleep if you were up all night. But a challenge’s still a challenge. 

You chase after the ball, quickly dribbling it back over in front of her. You pause only briefly before taking off, trying to get past her. She manages to get contact with the ball, but only detours it a few feet. You quickly regain control, and just when you think you’re going to be able to get past her, you look up to see Emily waiting behind. 

It’s almost an hour before you finally stop to take a breath. You hadn’t even shot a goal, just circled the field trying to get past people. You laughed at Tobin’s shock when you managed to nutmeg her, and teased the forwards about their lack of defensive skills. You babbled about nonsense, dribbling and tackling, running away with screams of laughter when you managed to get past someone. But, finally, your body and your brain were calm, neither begging to move. 

Sensing that you were tiring, everyone collects the balls and packs up. Tobin scoots up behind you, lifting you up and placing you onto Christen’s back. You wrap your arms and legs around her, your head dropping onto her shoulder. You stick your tongue out at Tobin after she ruffles your hair, but you’re otherwise content.  

—-

You had been dropped in your bathroom and given strict instructions to quickly shower. By the time you got out, there were pajamas sitting on the counter. You dried and dressed, brushing your damp hair and your teeth. 

Exiting the bathroom, you see the door to your room propped open and about half the team already spread out across the beds and floors. Christen and Tobin weren’t there yet, so you plop onto Kelley. 

Soon, everyone else enters the room and a debate about what movie to watch starts. For once, you don’t have much of an opinion. You’re warm, comfortable, and tired. You’ve ended up laying basically on top of Kelley, your head on her chest rising and falling as she breathes. Her hand is on your back, rubbing gentle circles.  

As you hear a movie start playing in the background, the neckline of your shirt works its way into your mouth. As one does, you begin chewing on it distractedly, the sensation soothing. The repetition motion is pulling you further to sleep. 

Seeing what you’re doing, Kelley reaches her arm out to get the attention of Christen from where she had settled next to you. She gently nods her head towards you, and watches as Christen gets the message and leans over to the bedside table. She pulls your shirt out of your mouth, quickly replacing it with a chew tube. 

You had protested when she had originally presented them to you, claiming that you were neither a teething infant or a dog, so you didn’t need a chew toy. But she persisted, sick of your constantly chewed clothing and seemingly ever present wad of gum. Now, you don’t even hesitate when handed one- or, usually, it’s just stuck in your mouth. 

The lights in the room are off, the soft glow from the tv serving as the only illumination. The low whispers from teammates and the chatter from the movie became white noise in the background. Kelley’s hand was still on your back, but she had switched to tracing your spine with her nails. One of your hands was holding onto her shirt, the other held firmly in Christen’s grasp. Your brain was quiet, your body was quiet, and you could sleep. 

#uswnt players #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #womens soccer #woso imagines #reader insert #woso imagine #woso x reader #uswnt imagines #uswnt woso #uswntsoccer #uswnt fanfic #uswnt reader #woso soccer #woso fanfics #woso

[outsideratheart]

Bumped Heads & Bedtime Stories (Alex Morgan x reader)

A/N: So this wasn’t planned but once it was in my head I had to write it. I hope you all like it.

Alex and Charlie watched on proudly as you took the field with the Matildas for the Semi final of the World Cup. The younger of the two got up from her mother’s lap and stood directly in front of the TV when the camera zoomed in on you as you exchanged pendants with the German captain. 

“Mommy look it’s Mama” Charlie says excitedly. 

Long distance was hard for the two of you when you started dating, more so when you got married but all of that failed in comparison to when you had Charlie. You played for Lyon and had done since you were a 21 years old. Alex feared what your bond with Charlie would be like when you lived half way across the world for the majority of the year but she soon found out she had nothing to worry about. Charlie adored you and the bond you two shared was unbreakable.

“It is and she is wearing a shirt just like yours” Alex replies to her daughter.

“This is her shirt Mama, look” Charlie points the your last name on the back of her shirt.

“But you support America, right Charlie?” Kelley asks the small child.

“No! I support Australia” she didn’t pronounce every letter but it was enough to be understood.

Alex knew this was an argument she could never win. You hadn’t tried to get Charlie on your side, the girl automatically chose you. The two of you asked her who she would support if Mama and Mommy play against each other and each time Charlie said you.

The Matildas were putting in yet another dominating performance just like they had been doing the entire campaign. The advantage they had with it being a home tournament made a huge difference and every game sounded and was played like a final.

You were 2-0 up going into the second half. Sam had scored from a corner and you had scored from a free kick. You were currently the top scorer on the tournament which shocked most people because you were a left back but you were also a set piece specialist. The ball almost always found the back of the net whether it came off your foot or your head.

It’s why when the next corner takes place you are heavily marked but some how manage to free yourself. As you jump for the header you feel your head hit something but it felt a lot harder than a ball, this much is proven when you fall to the floor and can feel your head throbbing in seconds. Your first guess is that you got elbowed so you stand to your feet but then feel a warm liquid running down your face. Yes, you had built up a sweat but it was winter in Australia no way are you sweating this much. It is only when you look down that you see drops of red on your shirt and when you raise your hand to where the pain is your hand is covered in blood.

Alex was unaware of the incident that had taken place on the pitch as she was getting some water from the hotel bar. The first wave of panic is brought on when she hears Charlie shrieking and her cries get louder and louder as she runs towards her.

“Mama’s hurt. Blood” Charlie all but jumps into the Alex’s arms. The child is inconsolable.

Your wife doesn’t know to react. She knew that she had to stay calm if she had any hope of calming Charlie down but right now she was finding that incredibly difficult.

When Alex returns to the seating area she sees all eyes are on her before heads turn towards the TV. 

“How bad is it?” Alex asks calmly.

“Lots of blood” Charlie is the only one to answer her question.

“Can you one you please tell me what happen to Y/N?” Alex begs her team mates.

“It was a corner. She jumped up for a header but one of the German defenders had a hold of her shirt. The keeper came out to punch the ball away and kneed Y/N in the head. She got up almost immediately—“ Kelley tried telling her best friend.

“So she’s ok?”

“She had a cut on her head. Like Charlie said there was a lot of blood. She refused a stretcher and help from the physios because she wanted to play. Sam and Ellie had to help her of the pitch. She looked out of it”

Alex tried to process what she was being told. Head injuries are serious and regardless of whether you used a stretcher or not, the suggestion of one is enough to instil worry. 

“Was it bad?” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to the answer.

“No”

“Yes”

Only one player said yes and it was Kristie. 

“Sam refused to play and walked off the pitch with Y/N. I know my girlfriend, I has never seen her look like that and she has never walked away from a game. It’s the semi final. She wouldn’t have gone with Y/N if it wasn’t bad”

Kristie’s statement made Alex feel two things; relief because you had your best friend with you and panic because the blonde was right, Sam wouldn’t have left the match if it wasn’t bad. 

“Charlie” Naomi walks up to the little girl who surprisingly doesn’t shy away from her “do you know how many goals you mama has scored so far? I think it’s 2”

Your daughter reaches of the defender and goes into tell her that you had scored and how you scored them. 

Time after time, Alex got your voicemail. She was about to give up and drive to the hospital that were closest to the stadium but then Kristie got a call.

“It’s Sam” She holds the phone towards the forward “She’s with Y/N”

Alex took a deep breath before holding the phone up to her ear.

“Y/N” 

“Hi Al” you voice was quiet and if she hadn’t already have known she would be able to tell something was wrong “I need to go to the hospital for some checks and stitches”

“Which one? I’ll get one of the cars and be there as soon as I can” Alex was already searching for a member of staff that would have car keys.

“No, don’t come. Stay with Charlie. Hospitals are no place for children and you hate them almost as much as I do. I should only be a couple of hours if I don’t have to stay over. I’ll come to you afterwards”

Alex wanted to argue. She needed to see that you were ok with her own eyes, anything less wouldn’t do. 

“You’re going to come here as soon as you can?” 

“I am” 

The whole USWNT waited patiently, some more than others, for you to arrive to their hotel.  Since you began dating Alex, you had become part of their family. They all watched the incident happen and would feel much better when they saw you in the flesh. 

Hours pass and you still hadn’t arrived, they hadn’t even heard from you since the call with Alex.

Charlie went quiet and Alex knew it was because you needed to see you. The young girl always shut down when she missed you and she wouldn’t return to her normal until she saw you or felt like you were close to her. Because of this Alex had packed several of your hoodies so that they can be a source of comfort your daughter and her as well.

“Kells, will you take Charlie up to get one of Y/N’s hoodies. I’d take her but I want to be here when she—“

“Of course” 

The choice of clothing must have been a hard decision because the pair was gone almost half an hour. The defender returns to the hotel bar.

“Kelley, please tell me you haven’t lost my daughter?” Alex asks when she notices her friend is alone.

Alex walks towards the defender who had assumed Charlie was right behind her.

“Mama!!” 

The word is heard throughout the bar and the giggles that follow lift a weight that had been hanging on each players shoulders. 

When you enter the bar, your daughter in your arms, everyone can see what the accident had done to you. The left side of your forehead is slightly swollen and you had stitches just below your hairline. You welcome Alex into your arms and place a small kiss to both her and Charlie’s temples.

Sam hovers near you. You hear Kristie call her over but she shakes her head.

“Go. I’m fine” you pat your best friend on her shoulder “Thank you for staying with me Sammy” 

“I’m only over there if you need me” Sam gingerly walks over to her girlfriend.

You sit down with Alex next to you and Charlie on your knee. Your daughter inspects your injury all whilst been careful not to hurt you. She presses your stitches a little too hard which causes you to wince.

“Does it hurt?” Charlie asks and you can feel Alex’s eyes burning into you.

“It does but I’m ok” 

“Are you?” It is now Alex’s turn to ask you a question.

“I am. I have no concussion and no major damage”

“Then why is Sam here and why is she watching you like you’re going to pass out at any minute?”

“I lost consciousness a couple of times, I think I scared her” You once made a vow to be honest with Alex and it seemed important now more than ever.

You look over to where Sam and Kristie were sitting and like Alex said, Sam was watching you like a hawk. 

“I’m here because I have her medication” Sam answers Alex’s first question.

“Medication? You said you were ok. If you were ok then you wouldn’t need medication” 

You give Sam a look as if saying look what you’ve started. 

“Sam. Show Alex the medication you were talking about”

Sam holds up a pack of paracetamol earning a laugh from the girls around you. 

You hated taking painkillers but the doctor give you strict instructions to take them every 4 hours. It has been 2 hours since your first dose and Sam had taken it upon herself to make sure you took a second dose, after that it would be Alex’s job.

“Sam wanted to see Kristie without it the girls teasing her for it so she’s using me as an excuse”

Sam couldn’t argue with you on that. The team, you included, loved to tease her about how much she missed her girlfriend. You got just as much stick but you agreed with your tormentors whereas Sam would get defensive.

You took Charlie upstairs to get ready for bed since it was made obvious that the team would be staying downstairs for a bit and one late night wouldn’t harm the child. 

Whilst Alex did believe you when you told her you were ok, she still wanted a second opinion and your best friend her best option. 

“How bad was it?” Alex joins Sam and Kristie at their table. Sonnett, Lynn and Kelley was also at the same table.

“You want the truth?” Your wife nods her head “At first it was really bad. The physios couldn’t stop the bleeding and they didn’t want to go to hospital until they did. Y/N was out of it but she was trying to act fine. Her eyes wouldn’t focus on anything, it was almost like we weren’t in the room with her” Sam tries not to cry but the lump that if forming in her throat was making it difficult.

Alex didn’t share the same need for control. Her tears fell freely as she heard your best friend tell her what happened moment by moment. Turns out she did have a reason for concern and quite a few at that. Looking at the way you walked in you wouldn’t have thought anything had happened but after listening to Sam, Alex realised you had to be putting on a brave front.

When you return with a pyjama clad Charlie Alex tells the group that is is time for the Morgan - Y/L/N’s to go to bed. You saw the look in her eye and didn’t argue.

Once the door had shut Alex started to cry. 

“Hey hey, there’s no need to cry” you pull her in tight and hold her close. You knew that you would have scared Alex so you let her cry.

“You scared us” Alex speaks into your chest.

“I know, I’m sorry” you grab her hand and pull her towards the bed. Once sat down Alex buries her head in the crook of your neck and you hold her tightly again.

“Yeah mama, there was a lot of blood” Charlie walks over to the two of you. Alex pulls away and quickly wipes her eyes. She didn’t want your daughter to see her cry.

You wanted to say wait till they see your Matilda’s jersey which was now more red than yellow but now wasn’t the time for jokes. 

“I know there was but it all got cleaned up and then I got these to stop it from bleeding again” You point to your stitches. 

“I got you this” Charlie climbs onto your lap and holds up a band aid which had Pepper pig on. You take it off her and hand to Alex with a nod of you head. Alex then places the unnecessary band aid across the stitches but makes sure that the cushion covers your stitches.

“Can we watch a movie?” 

“Yes” Alex answers.

“Actually, the doctor told Mama she isn’t allowed to watch any movies tonight”

“You said you didn’t have a concussion” Alex whispers knowing full well what people who have concussions get told.

“I don’t but the brightness makes my headache worse” you reassure your wife.

“Why?” Your child was curious and didn’t understand why you wouldn’t be allowed.

“Because whilst I am ok, I do have a poorly head. What about a bedtime story instead?” 

Charlie happily takes you up on your offer and even gets herself into her bed. 

“What do you think Al, is it time our daughter finds out how we met?” 

Alex rolls her eyes at this. You two had very different sides when it came to the day you met. You were adamant that it was love at first sight, especially for Alex but she didn’t agree. 

“Only if you tell her the truth” 

Once Charlie is tucked up in bed you side on the side with Alex standing over you.

“It started when Australia played America. I had to mark your mommy and she kept trying to take my top off” This earned you a slap from Alex but a giggle from Charlie so it was worth it.

“I did not”

“You ripped it off me remember”

“It was an accident”

“Oh baby, you keep telling yourself that. Do you think it was an accident Charlie?”

“Nope” Charlie agrees with you, of course she did.

You continue telling the story and every so often you would hear Alex scoff at your recollation of events. She saw you as this cocky Aussie but you did catch her eye that first day but she wouldn’t call it love at first sight. Lust would be more appropriate given then you ended in her hotel room that night.

“Then a couple of years later your Mommy moved all the way to France because she missed me and wanted to see me everyday”

“I didn’t move for you. Well not just you”

“Ha! I knew it” you look up at Alex with a smug look in your face.

“I miss you everyday Mama” 

“And I miss you my sweet one”

You continue the story up to the point where you propose to Alex when you see Charlie trying really hard to fight sleep. You end it there and promise to finish it another time.

You get into your own bed, well technically it is Alex’s bed, and with a watchful eye you enjoy the show she is putting on as she gets changed.

“So I’ve been thinking” 

“Are you allowed to do that?” Alex jokes.

“Actually not but just allow it for the time being. My contract is up with Lyon this summer and I have meeting after the world cup to discuss my contract. How would you feel if I request a transfer?”

Never in all the years of dating and marriage had Alex asked you to leave Lyon, not even when Charlie was born. You were one of the best players in the world, Lyon was the team that made you into that and in return you gave them several champions league titles. Sure the topic had been brought up before but you were always under contract so it was hard.

“Are you saying you are ready to leave?”

“No. I’m ready to stop leaving. Charlie is getting older and you heard her, she misses me and I know you do” Alex throws her top at you “You do and I miss you too. I’ve given my life to that club but it’s time I put our family first”

You wouldn’t admit it but today scared you and you knew that it could have been a lot worse than it was. It made you appreciate these moments you had with your family and you wanted to have more of them even if it did mean moving the San Diego.

#Alex Morgan x reader #alex morgan one shot #alex morgan imagine #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt one shot #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot

[skipper1331]

Taking care // Jessie Fleming

kinda pt. 2 of Protective Moms

a/n: based off this request.

"Tobs, I can walk on my own" you whined, the striker supporting you. "I have broken nose, nothing more"

"And a serious concussion"

You grumbled but you had no other choice, Tobin wouldn‘t leave your side until your body was laid down in your bed. "Can I at least have my phone back?"

"Ask Christen"

Back at your room you laid down, Tobs placed a glass of water on your nightstand before she tucked you under the duvet. "How shall I ask her when she isn’t here?"

"That‘s not my problem, we‘ll check up on you later." the forward then left the room, ready to go to training. (She tried to tell the coach that she had to watch you and take care of you but as soon as you heard that you argued with her, that you‘re old enough, etc. which she only half-heartedly accepted)

A long sigh left your throat.

-

"Jess is pretty amazing, isn‘t she?" you smiled as you went to breakfast with Chris and Tobs. "She‘s alright" said Tobin while Christen answered, "She’s such a sweetheart." As you had your breakfast on your plate you walked towards the table where Sonnett, Kelley and Alex sat. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through your head, it throbbed and spun then went black. You passed out.

Everything seemed fine so far, your nose was broken but otherwise nothing to notice from the concussion. Yesterday, Chris, Tobin, Jess and you were out for a 'parents meet kids girlfriend' date and you were your usual self.

Well, until now. The plate shattered across the floor, your body hitting the floor with a 'humpf'. Christen was the first by your side, rapidly and firmly patting your cheek, with no luck in waking you - you were knocked out while Tobin ran around the hotel searching for someone from the physio team, a doc, anyone.

-

That‘s how you ended up for the rest of the day and the next few days in your bed with no phone and no remote to turn the tv on, strict guidelines: Rest, rest, rest! Tobin took the doc very serious, she wouldn‘t risk more damage. The little meet up with your girl was already to much after the knock from Chapman. Even though the moms where at training they made sure you had everything, a bottle of water beside your bed and painkillers next to it, just in case.

Meanwhile Jess was going crazy. Why hadn‘t you replied to her texts? Did the moms forbid you to contact her? Oh god, they didn‘t like her?! She tried to call you over and over, your phone ringing in Chris‘ bag as she was doing drills with her team mates.

"You good, Jess?" Sinc asked the young canadian as she saw how she was biting her lip nervously, her fingers playing with the hem of her hoodie.

"Huh? Yeah! I‘m fine" the midfielder replied. She wasn't convincing so Sinc took a seat beside her. She nudged the shoulder of the young canadian, silently asking what‘s wrong. "She isn‘t answering" she admitted, her ears turning red, "the only text she sent was a good morning which was hours ago"

"So? Maybe she‘s at training?"

"No, no. She has to be in bed because of her concussion"

"Well then, maybe she‘s sleeping" the older woman tried to ease Jessie‘s mind but with no success, she could see that her brain was working on high speed, trying to figure out what‘s wrong. "I just feel like something is off, you know? Like something happened."

The only thing Christine could do now was support her, "If you think someting is off then go to her." a big smile spread across the face of the small canadian "you think?"

"If you don‘t, you have to wait until she answers"

-

Knocking on your door, Jess was nervous. Shortly after her talk with Sinc the midfielder went to your hotel, it took her some time but she made it. She didn‘t know why she was nervous, you were her girlfriend after all yet the thought of an angry Tobin Heath opening the door was scary. Her knock wasn‘t too loud, she didn‘t want to make your headache worse though the knock was loud enough to be heard. "Hello?" you rasped out as you opened the door. "Hi" your girl said, shuffling with her feet.

"What‘re you doing here?" you looked down the hall before you pulled her in to her room. "You didn‘t answer my texts" you chuckled as you placed yourself back on the bed. "I don‘t have my phone," patting the spot next to you to signal her she should join you. "Why?" She asked, taking her shoes off, joining you. Immediately, your head rested on her chest as her arms wrapped around you. "Chris has it and the remote as well. I‘m so bored, you can‘t even imagine," you stated, melting in the embrace of your lover. "I get that, baby, but why?" While lips were pressed against your forehead, you answered, "strict doc rules 'cause I passed out. Tobin is being overprotective" in to her chest, slowly getting tired. The whole day, you‘d been laying around, doing nothing yet couldn‘t sleep but with your lovers arms around the tiredness started to set in. "You passed out?" The midfielder asked shocked, she knew something was off. "Yeah, i‘m alright though, just need to rest" your eyes shutting at the end of your sentence. "I love you" was the last thing you said before you fell in to deep slumber.

Freshly showered, the team got back to the hotel, Chris and Tobs already on her way to your room. As they opened the door and stepped in to the room, they could see the brunette you were hugging, both of you deep and fast asleep. Christen laughed softly; the two of you couldn‘t be away from each other. Even Tobin smiled, seeing you like this. Normally, she would have gone all protective but something in her was telling her that she was seeing the right thing, Jess was the right 'thing'

"They‘re adorable" said person stated, slinging her arm around the dark haired women who could only agree.

Sleeping in your lovers arms will always be the best kind of recovery.

————————

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #chelsea wfc #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso #canwnt #canwnt x reader #uswnt #tobin heath #christen press #preath

[electronickingdomfox]

"The New Voyages" review

This one is actually a collection of short stories by fan authors, which makes the stories seem more like episodes of the series. It has also the distinct honor of being introduced by Roddenberry and most members of the cast. The stories are generally well-written and in character.

Some spoilers ahead:

Ni Var (by Claire Gabriel; intro by Nimoy) takes the plot of "The Enemy Within", but applied to Spock and the division between his Vulcan rational part, and his human emotional part. Besides the fact that I'm not sure such division works at that biological level, the two Spocks aren't all that different really. And it's not a very novel concept, specially right after a similar plot in previous book "Spock must die". But bonus points for Kirk giving the middle finger to his own reflection.

Intersection Point (by Juanita Coulson; intro by Doohan) is one of the best stories. The Enterprise is seriously crippled while navigating through an anomaly cloud, which is quickly contracting and threatens to crush the entire ship. Anyone who enters the cloud to retrieve a crucial component of the ship, is mentally destroyed by its eldritch qualities. Great tension and difficult choices.

The Enchanted Pool (by Marcia Ericson; intro by Nichols) is an attempt to write a fairy tale with Spock thrown in the middle for good measure. A bit of purple prose, and doesn't quite work. The resolution of the mistery is ingenous, even when convoluted.

Visit to a Weird Planet Revisited (by Ruth Berman; intro by Barrett) is actually the other half of a fanfic (Visit to a Weird Planet, not published here) where Kirk, Spock and Bones end up in the real world, right in the studio where they're filming Star Trek. Here instead, we follow the actors, who appear in the Enterprise and have to improvise to avert a danger. The other story was more fun, since Kirk and co. are more clumsy and hilarious in our world (being even "attacked" by fans), while the actors are just slightly less competent than their counterparts.

The Face on the Barroom Floor (by Eleanor Arnason and Ruth Berman; intro by Takei) is a really fun story. Kirk gets into a fight in a bar while in shore leave, is detained, teams up with a ratty thief, and crashes a party, while his crew search for him frantically. In the line of TOS best comedy-adventure episodes.

The Hunting (by Doris Beetem; intro by the editors) is a bit "meh". Spock goes into a Vulcan ritual which requires to mind-meld with a wild beast, and McCoy accompanies him. When Spock goes wild in the process, the good doctor has to hunt him and give him back his sanity. There could have been a more homoerotic fight between them, as in "Amok Time".

The Winged Dreamers (by Jennifer Guttridge; intro by Kelley) is another high point. The Enterprise crew falls under the influence of some creatures that make their fantasies seem real. So real that people can actually die if imagining the wrong thing. Spock is less affected, but slowly begins to hallucinate too, and the triumvirate fall into paranoia as neither they (nor the reader) can tell what's real and what's not anymore.

Mind-Sifter (by Shirley Maiewski; intro by Shatner) drags a bit at the beginning, when Kirk wakes up in a sanatory, his mind almost destroyed. It gets more interesting once Spock and McCoy start a quest to search for him. Great interactions between these two, reminiscent of "The Tholian Web".

After the eight stories there's still a little poem about Spock and Leila.

Spirk Meter: 10/10*. Not all stories are equally slashy, but the parts which do, are slashy in spades.

Ni Var has Kirk worrying about Spock all the time, and "human Spock" wondering if what he feels for the Captain is friendship... or love (something which happens too in one of Roddenberry's story concepts for a movie, around this time).

Intersection Point has a clear parallel between the anguish of a female crewmember, after a man (obviously her boyfriend) loses his mind in the anomaly, and Kirk agonizing once Spock has to enter the same anomaly.

The Enchanted Pool, where Spock refuses to kiss a beautiful female time and time again. Even when the woman assures him it's the only way to break a spell and escape. Even when Spock is doing far more dangerous things ALL THE TIME to solve problems. Of course, he considers the kiss a total waste of time once it doesn't work.

The Face on the Barroom Floor: Kirk is invited to a bar by McCoy and Sulu, who have found three women to pass the time, one for each. What does Kirk do? He gets out the bar two seconds later, puts on a samurai costume, and goes instead to a bar full of muscular, rowdy men, to get thrashed by them. Of course.

The Winged Dreamers has Spock wishing to stay on a planet with Kirk, just the two of them, for ever and ever. McCoy totally gets what's going on.

And I thought that Mind-Sifter would be about the love between a (quite unproffesional) nurse, and her mentally unstable patient, Kirk. But oh man, where do I even begin!? For starters, we have Kirk using his mind link with Spock to cry for help, across the galaxy and several centuries. And later he's concerned about how much can Spock read into his mind. Then we have McCoy informing the nurse that no, Kirk can't stay with her, because his love is his career and his... (trails off, having said too much). Gallant Spock carries an unconscious Kirk in his arms, and tells the nurse that, no matter how much she loves him, Kirk DOES NOT love her back (bitch!). If that wasn't enough, there's a lenghty conversation at the end, where Kirk almost melts in love and appreciation for Spock, and the Vulcan blushes at his own emotional display.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

#star trek tos #star trek #k/s #spirk #star trek novels #novel review

[jelmet]

what pets i think fit with the batfam

these are kinda out of order but what evs

tell me what other characters u want (doesnt have to be bat-adjacent)

Dick Grayson

German shepherd maybe a huskey mix too

I know he has Hailey in canon but canon is of my choosing

I feel like his prestict was training dogs and one of them failed the training but hes already bonded with it so he takes it home with him and now he has a dog

he names it after somthing in the cirus

also named nightbite and the dog is considered a vigilante but only comes out to calm down children

Jason Todd

orange tabby

whenever someone meets the cat for the 1st time he spends 15 mins trying to convince them the cat is actually red

named elizabeth, and he forces you to call the cat elizabeth, no lizzie or any other nickname only elizabeth

he found her wandering around crime alley with out a collar and scooped her up and took her home

they become inseparable except when jason is doing vigilante stuff them the cat sleeps in his bed

shes tiny from malnourishment ect. from being on the street

he nourishes her back to health but she never gets to full size

Tim Drake

toad

he wanted a bullfrog before realizing how annoying they are and ended up getting an american toad

he named it either tim jr. or frog

he puts it in a mason jar (no top ofc) with some water and brings it everywhere (non vigilante)

the toad works comms and he tries to get everyone to call it red toad (failure)

he wears gloves when handling it and is very careful not to get salmonella (all reptiles and amphibians are loaded with it)

Duke Thomas

im giving him 2 types of pets

first he has a fish tank with those floresent neon fish

he has the full set up with the black lights and everything

1 fish of each color named color fishie (blue fishie, yellow fishie, ect.)

he also gets a rabbit

specifically a Miniature Cashmere Lop

he names it judy (zootopia reference lol)

he took her on patrol with him one in one of those baby carries that straps to your chest but he bent down and judy hopped out and he spent half an hour chasing her around

she lives on his bedroom floor, he has everything she needs lined along a wall and she just kinda chills all day

Cass Cain

SNAKE

she gets a common brown snake

they are non venomous, typically very docile, and the longest they can get is 13 inches long

she did tons of research on snakes and makes sure it living its best live

names it after her favorite fruit

she keeps trying to feed duke’s fish to it

brown snakes are fairly small so she will curl it around her fingers on one hand and do her homework with the other

Carrie Kelley

Yes shes part of the family

a hedgehog

she keeps it in her pocket

his name is sonic

she made him a blue mask and paints some of the quills blue and takes him on patrol (he mostly stays in her pocket)

one notable occasion she shot him with her sligshot into a thug’s face

sonic was ok the thug however was not

sonic lives in carrie’s pocket

Alfred Pennyworth

mini horse

he named it named fredrick

it stays out in the barn with batcow

he goes out on walks around the manor grounds and the horse will follow him around

helps out around the batcave and works coms with frog

Damian Wayne

i know he already has a ton of pets go away

caribbean reef octopus

i saw a video of one of these guys escaping its tank and immediately thought of damian

either gives it an arab name or names it richard

has an amazing tank setup for it with lots of enrichment

sometimes he takes it out on walks around the manor and damian will carry a little spray bottle to ensure he doesnt dry out

HE GETS 2 ASWELL CAUSE I JUST REMEBERED SMTH

a bearded dragon

he wanted a komodo dragon but they are massive (and venomous) so he compromised on a bearded dragon

he gives her either an arab name or names her timothy

ITS A DRAGON HED BE SO HAPPY!!!!

just like the octopus he takes really good care of her

she has a bunch of differnt outfits and leashes and he takes her on walks all the time

Stephanie Brown

Indian star tortoise

she saw a tortoise mukbang video and decided she needed one (go to animal asmr on youtube)

she named her ravioli

tried to get her a job in the bat med bay but alfred refused to let “ground zero for a salmonella outbreak” into the med bay

she has a massive box with multiple sets of lights despite how tiny she is (hes a baby now and about 2.5 in but adults get to 7-12 in)

as a baby she rides around on steph’s shoulder

once she gets bigger steph puts her in a leash

Bruce Wayne

way too many bats to count

each person has a bat named after them and a bat they have named

the rest are named bat bat

the bats are not allowed outside of the batcave

he also has ace (bat hound) who, from my best guess, is a Doberman

he also gets a fox moth

he raises it from a caterpillar and he loves it (he picks it up off the sidewalk and decides to keep it)

he names it bug

only pet not allowed to go into the batcave

it mostly stays on his head or shoulder when not asleep (even as a full grown moth)

sleeps in a net like cage thing hanging in his room

he cried really hard when it pupated only for a moth to come out a few weeks later

Jarro

why is the starfish here?

because

anyway in Flash 238-243 in the 70’s hal has a pet alien starfish thing named itty

jarro gets his own itty and yeah

#batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #duke thomas #carrie kelley #stephanie brown #cass cain #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #damian al ghul #bruce wayne #jarro #batman #dc comics #robin

[incorrectbatfam]

Got any Carrie Kelly headcanons? She is such an underrated Robin

For those of you who are new here, Carrie Kelley is technically the third Robin after Jason. She's had a couple of cameos across different universes (like as Damian's acting teacher), but the majority of her appearances are confined to Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns where she is a 13-year-old girl who takes up the Robin mantle herself after an aging Bruce returns to the vigilante scene. Her canon sucks, but since I'm out here butchering the batfam anyway, I might as well revamp her characterization.

In regards to her place in the batfam, I think 13-14 is a good age for her because it helps fill in the gap between Tim/Duke and Damian, plus it adds balance because the rest of the girls skew older and it gives her more room for growth. Also 13 is prime Chaotic Weird Girl age and Carrie would absolutely be one

And I know she was briefly Batgirl in canon but can we also revamp that? There's a Batgirl void that she can totally fill but canon is like unseasoned boiled brussels sprouts. In my mind she's Batgirl but with a better costume, different mindset, and keeps her fun and distinct firecracker slingshot

Every time she goes shopping with Alfred, she comes back with another candlestick. She's up to ten now and they're all sitting in her room, fire hazards waiting to happen

She volunteers to help with the kindergarten and she's really good with kids... when she's not acting like one herself. She comes home after the first day with finger paint all over her face

A carjacker tries to break into the Batmobile and she just walks up to them like "Excuse me that's not yours"

She always keeps the dictionary up on her phone in the unlikely event she needs to prove to someone that contranyms are thing

She knows exactly what certain words mean, but pretends she doesn't and uses them wrong in the family groupchat because she knows Bruce will ask, which forces the other batkids to not only explain what a malewife is, but also correct Carrie by demonstrating how to use it correctly

She remembers every Taylor Swift song by heart and she's not ashamed

"Any pool is a public pool if you have the initiative," she says before selling wristbands for Bruce's pool

She gets the pets their own phones so she and Damian can text them throughout the day

She asks Bruce before taking any money, but the way she frames it is weird. For example, she'll ask him for a hundred bucks to buy some video games because that's the market price only to get them for $20 at a garage sale and spend the rest at on a really expensive burger

She's one of the privileged few to come across a person buying 300 watermelons in real life

Her invitations to hang out are like "Wanna come over? We can watch a movie or clean the Batcave, whatever works"

Damian is the "don't eat meat" type of environmentalist, but Carrie is the "I'll spam you with sad turtle pictures so you'll recycle plastic" type of environmentalist

She stocks up on Teen Spirit deodorant so she can say she smells like Teen Spirit

Her makeup skills are... not good. Jason mistook her for a Joker sidekick

She also snuck into Jason's phone and hid one of his Robin pics in his profile

She clips her nails during Bruce's briefings

Carrie and Duke go to the bookstore and see who can find the most Written By A Male Author book

She drinks water with a dash of olive oil

At galas she wears suit tops with skirts and light-up Sketchers

Carrie also doesn't care too much about gender or pronouns. She has a "she/they" pin on her backpack, but that's only 'cause she found it on a bathroom floor and liked the color

Her favorite nap spot is Bruce's favorite chair. It's a huge plush armchair and she's small enough to pass off as a cushion, so Bruce always has to double-check before sitting down

Carrie can read cues in other relationships, but not her own. After Kon offers to refill Tim's drink she's like "ooh he likes you" but when a kid at school gives her flowers on Valentine's day she's like "I think they were just being friendly"

She's the only Robin not to have dentists ask about broken or missing teeth

At a sleepover, she and a few other kids catfished someone on Hinge using a terrible teacher's picture

Her drawing skills are pretty good (not Damian level though) and one time when Dick was sad she drew him as the Dreamworks crescent moon kid

She's friends with the old lady that shops at Trader Joe's the same time she does every week

She puts all her phone calls on speaker. ALL. OF. THEM

She goes to Canada on a short mission and promises to bring back souvenirs. She brings bagged milk

#carrie kelley #robin #batgirl #batfamily #batfam #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman #batman family #dc comics #headcanon

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Can I ask why giving Aziraphale a small nose ? Do you base your drawing on a book (imagination)/show mix ?

Dude, you’re totally fine! It’s a valid question! I get questions about Sherlock’s nose, too.

It’s more about personality than how the actor looks. Aziraphale in my style morphed to have a small nose because he’s prim and proper and a little snooty. Just how I do things sometimes. Kinda like the heart I draw in his hair. Definitely not based on anything specific, just kinda happened. 😊

#kelley takes the floor

[04mxfutbol]

Falling in or out of love? (Ashley Sanchez x Reader)

A/N: This is the fic I had in mind for a while now! I was listening to Labyrinth and the song inspired me lol. (So kind of based on my current favorite song Labyrinth.)

You walked into the hotel, holding your suitcase tightly. Walking towards the receptionist.

“I should have a reservation for Y/N Y/L/N.” You say to the receptionist. Handing her your ID.

“Y/L/N. Ah yes, room 313, your roommate has also gotten here. Rebecca Sauerbrunn.”

Score. You got a chill roommate.

“Great thank you.” You say with a smile, grabbing the key card and walking towards the elevator.

You arrive to your room, opening the door, you hear nothing but silence. You walk inside the room and you’re met with Becky laying on the bed, a book in her hands. Glasses on as she reads. A cup of coffee on the table beside her.

“Y/N so nice to see you once again. Sure feels great to be playing alongside you rather than against you.” Becky says making you laugh.

“I feel the same way about you cap.” You say nodding your head. “So roomies huh?”

“I’m just glad I got you as my roommate, I think I’d quit the team if I were to get Emily one more time.”

“You could never leave us, you love us too much to leave us alone and unprotected.”

“Correct.” Becky says nodding her head. “I know you’re a big fan of being close to the window so I took this bed here. Unpack and get ready for two weeks of pure calmness with me.”

“Oh I’m definitely looking forward to it.” You say with a smile, setting your suitcase up on your bed.

After unpacking your stuff you decided to take a short nap because who doesn’t love naps. You’re woken up by Becky who tells you it’s time for dinner. You both start to head downstairs to meet the rest of the team.

“A secret of mine is I kind of hate elevators.” You whisper to Becky.

“Why?”

“It’s a metaphor.” You say waving her off.

You grab a plate, serving yourself some food. You look around and see Christen sitting next to Alex and Rose.

“Can I join?”

“Of course, take a seat.” Christen says scooting over to make room. “How are you?”

“Fine thanks.” You say.

“Are you sure?” Alex asks you, putting her hand on your shoulder.

“Why do you ask?”

“We just want to know how you’re doing, can we not ask that?” Alex asks.

“I mean yeah I suppose.” You say furrowing your eyebrows. You look down to your food poking it around and then taking a bite. “I want my own home cooked food. This is a little too healthy for my liking.”

“We heard about the breakup.” Alex says and you look up.

“So is their a weekly newsletter about stuff like this going around or?” You say curiously. How they knew who knew. You sure didn’t know how.

“Hey guys.” Kelley says.

There’s how.

“We broke up like almost a year ago, mutually.” You say calmly.

You and Ashley broke up mutually about almost a year ago, agreeing that you both needed some space. From what? Who even knows. But something wasn’t right between the two of you which made you both realize you both needed to step back.

“But you’re doing fine?” Christen asks softly.

“Yes. I’m doing fine, sad most of the time, crying on the floor sobbing, screaming, crying. But fine.” You say with a chuckle.

“Y/N.” Christen says softly.

“I’m kidding, sorry I am kidding. I just like messing with you guys. I’m fine. I’m okay.”

A liar.

Oh how miserable you were for the first couple of weeks, the realization hitting you so deep, especially when you were alone in your apartment.

“I’m trying to get over her. Although I think I’ll be getting over her my whole life.” You whisper. “But I remember we both agreed we needed to break up so there’s that.”

“Oh Y/N.” Christen says pulling you in for a hug.

“I’m better though, every day that passes by I think I am closer and closer to getting over her.” You say with a shrug. “But I don’t know how you guys expect me to bounce back from the break up so fast.”

“We’re not Y/N. We just want to make sure you’re okay and dealing with the break up in a healthy way.”

While Christen comforted you, Ashley was just outside the room with Trinity.

“You look like an absolute mess.” Trinity tells Ashley as they walk out the elevator.

“Gee, thanks for that.” Ashley says.

“You still haven’t been getting enough sleep have you?” Trinity asks.

“No and it’s dragging me down like you have no idea. I get so tired quickly, I barely even have energy to put on nice clothes to look decent.”

“And this whole losing sleep isn’t because of the breakup?”

“Nope it’s definitely not that. We broke up like almost a year ago. Trust me it’s not that.” Ashley says opening the door.

As soon as she opens the door to the breakfast area, she spots you laughing with Rose.

“So definitely not because of Y/N. Right.” Trinity says passing Ashley and going for a plate.

“It’s not! I’m like not even bothered by it.” Ashley says following Trinity.

“Sure. You definitely have me fooled.”

“It was mutual.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re over her.”

“I am.” Ashley says making Trinity stop in her tracks, turning around to face Ashley. “Kind of?”

“Thought so.”

“I’m getting there though.” Ashley says. “Soon.”

- - - -

The following day you had practice until sunset. Your legs completely giving out at the end of it. Grabbing your bottle of water and chugging it as if your life really does depend on it, which it does.

“Hey, tomorrow we’re grabbing some food downtown. Do you want to come with us?” Abby asks you.

“Who’s we?” You ask looking at Abby.

“Sam, Rose, Lynn, Alex, Naomi and I.” She says and you think about it for two seconds. “Oh and Taylor.”

“Yeah I’ll come with.”

“Good it’ll be nice for you to get out.” Abby says patting her shoulder.

The following day you dressed yourself in some of your comfy clothes to go out with the rest of the girls. A smile on your face as a nice little lunch with your teammates would be fun.

“Are you going out?” Becky asks as she lays in her bed.

“Yeah with some girls to grab some food.” You say as you put on your hoodie, more specifically a hoodie Alyssa had given you.

“That’s good to hear, have fun Y/N.”

You walked out of your shared room, bumping into Alex.

“You ready?” Alex asks and you nod your head.

Across the hall, in the room next to Rose and Megan was Ashley with Trinity.

“Come on Ash get up, let’s go shopping.” Trinity says shaking Ashley.

“Does it look like I’m in the mood to go shopping?” Ashley says, Trinity backs away, arms up in defeat.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Trinity says.

“I’m tired.”

“You’ve been tired for almost the exact amount of time you and Y/N split up and you’re still denying that she isn’t the reason why you’re like this.”

“I’m getting over her trust me.”

“No I don’t think you are, you’re only telling yourself that to convince yourself but you are not. You’re not over her.”

“Slowly I am.” Ashley says.

Ashley pulls out her phone going straight to Instagram. Watching Naomi’s story. A picture of you looking at the camera, holding your cup of tea, a smile on your face.

“I’m not over her. I don’t think I ever will be. I thought I was. It feels like there’s a labyrinth in my fucking mind and I can’t seem to get out.” Ashley whispers. “I definitely thought I was slowly getting over her but-.”

“You’re falling in love with her again?” Trinity asks and Ashley looks up from her phone.

“Oh yeah.” Ashley says with a sigh. “I’m falling in love with her again.”

Ashley pulls the blanket over her head as she lets out a groan.

“I’m falling in love again.”

You returned to the hotel after an eventful and fun day with the girls. Going out for some lunch and finding an arcade where you totally beat Alex at mini golf.

You go to push the door when someone opens the door making you fall forward.

“Oh crap.” You shout as you almost fall.

Your eyes meet green eyes. Green eyes you knew so well.

Oh no. It’s happening.

“Sorry I didn’t expect someone on the other side of the door.” Ashley says and you stay quiet.

Oh no. You know this feeling all too well.

“You okay?”

“Y/N you okay?” Sam asks and you nod your head.

“Christen is up in her room right?” You ask Sam.

“Yeah why?”

“Great thanks.”

You run up to the room, obnoxiously knocking on Christen’s door.

“Christen open the door please!” You shout.

“Y/N lovely seeing you here.”

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure thing what’s going on?”

“Have you ever been in love with someone and they didn’t love you back?” You ask Christen.

“Of course.” Christen says and your eyes widen.

“You have? Who wouldn’t be in love with you, with all due respect.” You say quickly.

“You.”

“Sorry excuse me?” You ask as you stumble backwards.

“I’m messing with you, sorry continue.” Christen says and you sigh in relief.

“Respectfully I love you but anyway, I think I may have fallen in love again.”

“Okay? What’s so bad about that Y/N?”

“With Ashley.”

“Oh well how does that make you feel?” Christen asks as she sits up from her bed. You walk over and sit on the edge of her bed.

“Like I’m falling in love again?” You say.

“Right but what’s going through your mind as you say it out loud.”

“I thought this plane was going down.” You say. “I don’t know how it turned around and I’m once again falling in love with her again.”

“Pardon? Plane?” Christen asks confusedly.

“Metaphors.” You say. “What do I do? You’re like an expert.”

“I wouldn’t say expert but I will say that you should take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. Now relax and tell me what your heart says.”

“I want to tell her I love her and I can’t see my life without her.” You say looking at Christen.

“That’s a choice yes.” Christen says nodding her head.

“It’s a bad choice isn’t it?”

“No, no. Don’t rush it. Talk to her and see where that leads you. If you ask me, I think she still loves you.” Christen says softly.

“Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime.”

You get up from her bed, giving her a hug then head back to your room.

Talk to her, easy.

You walk into your room going into the bathroom to wash your face. The light in the room was on.

“Hey Becky I have a question.” You say but get no response. “Becky?”

You pat your face dry with a towel and walk fully into the shared room. Becky isn’t there, instead it’s someone else.

“Hi.” Ashley says getting up from Becky’s bed.

“Oh hey.” You say looking at Ashley. “Becky isn’t here apparently. Weird. I’d look for her in Alyssa’s room.”

“I’m not- I’m not here to talk to Becky. I’m here because I want to talk to you.”

“Me? Oh okay. What’s going on? Is it your roommate? I won’t trade, I’ve been getting the best sleep. Ten out of ten would highly recommend having Becky as your roommate.” You say, face facing down to the floor, your thumb rubbing your pinky because of how nervous you are.

“I’m falling in love again.” Ashley blurts out breaking the silence which filled the room. You lift your head up, looking at Ashley.

“Oh.” You say, you feel your heart break, knowing she was falling in love again. With someone who wasn’t you. You looked back down, biting your lip in an attempt to not cry. “You fell out of love from me, understandable.”

“I feel so stupid but I’m falling in love again.” Ashley says looking at you, taking a few steps towards. “I’m falling in love again.. I’m falling in love with you.”

“Oh.” You say lifting your head back up.

“I haven’t been sleeping well for almost a year. I can’t think, I can’t sleep, I can’t function. Every time I come across any picture of you, I feel like I just fall in love with you over and over again and I can’t stop.”

You stand there in silence, not being able to speak but just stare.

“And I know you’re probably already moving on or already moved on and I wouldn’t blame you. but I-I I’m falling in love with you and it scares me because I don’t know how you feel. I just couldn’t stand and say nothing. I had to say some-.”

You cut Ashley off as you cup her face with you hands, kissing her deeply and softly. You pull away, your foreheads resting against the other.

“I’m falling in love with you again too.” You whisper. “I just also didn’t want to say anything. But being without you has been by far the most painful thing ever. I thought you were over me.”

“I could never be over you. You’re the best of me.” Ashley whispers against your lips. “I want you. Realizing that I was falling in love with you again scared me, I didn’t know if you still loved me.”

“I thought I was but every time I saw you those feelings came back around. I could never stop loving you Ash.”

“I can’t stop loving you and I don’t want to stop.” Ashley says cupping your face, shaking her head as she looks into your eyes.

She knew she was finally getting out of the labyrinth in her head. And you finally knew where the plane was heading, it had landed.

“I don’t want to stop loving you either. Never.”

#uswnt x reader #ashley sanchez x reader #uswnt imagine #woso imagine

[fiori7ura]

but strangely, he feels at home in this place

TW: body dysphoria, self-doubt, mentions of panic attacks & death, fear, depression-ish, trans max & steve, don't like, don't read.

(modern au, no upside down, max uses she/her but it changes halfway through, steve is also trans, max & steve have a brotherly bond — author is afab but on the transgender spectrum and goes through body dysphoria and confusion all the time)

→ i've been writing this on ao3, it isn't posted yet because it isn't finished, but i wanted to post what i already have on here :) it's all rough draft, so expect for there to be grammar mistakes or things nto worded correctly. there are italics galore in this, but i copy & pasted it from ao3 so it deleted the layout it was in, and my phone makes everything lag when i try and do italics on here, so, yeah, no italics, just imagine them in parts when needed lmao — read tags & warnings, thx!!

title from 'this is home' by cavetown!!

——— ★ ———

Yeah, you could say that Max never fully fit in with girls her age. She skated, hung around guys, scuffed her shoes with dirt and mud, crude sayings and drawings scribbled with black sharpie and in messy handwriting on the toes of her sneakers she got from Goodwill.

Her life was good for a while, until it wasn't. She woke up one day with panic and realization coursing through her veins, crying until her lungs gave out and she hyperventilated, screaming into her pillow.

Panic attack, Max's brain supplies from the old memory of her lessons with her school counselor, Mrs. Kelley.

Small things trigger them, and ever since Billy passed in the mall fire, they happen more than ever. Max wishes she could go back to that summer, when there were no worries in the world, before Billy died, before she and her Mom had to move into a crappy trailer park across from the Munsons.

The bad thoughts cloud Max's mind again, and she shakes her head like a wet dog coming in from the rain.

She gets up and throws on basketball shorts that come down to her knees and a threadbare, gray Hawkins Tigers shirt that she stole from Steve, her tightest, most concealing bra she owns strapped on underneath. Max shoves her hair in a haphazard low bun, taking a quick glance in the mirror, not even bothering to look for too long. Staring into her reflection is bad. It makes Max notice all the impurities and small problems about herself that makes her want to shatter the glass, break it into little pieces on the carpet below her.

Max prays that one day, she could just sink into the floor and disappear. Maybe then, things would be easier. She wouldn't have to worry about her impending doom of her crush on El and the dark thoughts that flood her mind daily, time and time again.

Max steps outside of her trailer, spotting Steve's car parked over at Eddie's. He's sitting on the porch steps, cigarette in his hand, smoke stirring out of his mouth.

She wishes to be like Steve. Wants it. Hopes for it. In her mind, he's selfless and resilient. He came out to everyone without a single trace of doubt, and everyone supported him when he said he didn't feel like a girl. That was three years ago. Max was only 12. She's now 15, drowning in her sorrows and regret.

She stumbles over the gravel that lines the ground, feet carrying her to cross the distance between the two trailers. Steve looks up from his crisp, white Nike Cortez shoes, a smile lighting his whole face up when he sees Max.

"You know those things'll kill you, right?"

Steve snorts, tilting his head like a dog. "Hello to you, too, Max. You sound like Rob, you know that?"

Max just scoffs, the smile on her face betraying the way she's trying to act. "Whatever you say, Mom. I'm not taking the blame from Dustin when you die from smoking on those cancer sticks."

"Sure," Steve says behind a smirk as he puts out his cigarette and dusts his hands off on his jeans, imaginary dirt spreading around the air. "If you're asking for a ride, just know that I'm about to be leaving. Just let me tell Eddie bye, 'kay?"

"Okay," Max echoes, laughing. "Go get your boyfriend!" She yells when Steve turns around to go inside, mimicking kissing and hugging, wrapping her hands around herself and making obnoxious smooching noises. Steve flips her off behind his back. She can almost hear the faint mumble of smart ass kid come from his mouth, which causes her to laugh even harder, head lolling back on a cackle.

——— ★ ———

They're halfway through the drive back to Steve's house when Max breaks the silence, Stevie Nicks playing low on the radio, music drifting through the speakers of his Beamer. "Could I, uh, ask you something? You gotta promise not to say anything about this conversation, because if you do, I'll blackmail you and send Eddie all the embarrassing photos of you from when you worked at Scoops."

Steve whips his head to look at Max, almost surprised look on his face as he lets out a disbelieving laugh, airy and light.

"Okay, kiddo. Shoot."

Her feet are propped up on the dash, and her pulse is rabbiting. "How did you know?"

Steve raises a questionable eyebrow towards her direction, nose wrinkling. "What d'you mean, 'know'?"

Shit, shit, shit.

"No, nevermind, actually. It's stupid," Max sighs. "It's stupid," she repeats, again and again, flipping the word around on her tongue.

"Hey, no, don't just dodge my question like that, Mayfield. Be honest. I doubt it's as stupid as you actually say it is. Spill your guts, c'mon. Like you do at those girly sleepovers of yours."

And, oh.

Girly sleepovers.

Max doesn't like that. Bile swirls in her stomach and she digs her nails into her palm, leaving crescent moons in her skin's wake, jaw clenching and teeth grinding down against each other.

Steve clearly notices he did something wrong, because he quickly pulls into his driveway and puts the car in park, unbuckling to turn and look at Max.

"What's wrong, firecracker? Tell me, please. It won't hurt to just say what's on your mind."

Max shakes her head, eyes downcast and frown placed onto her face. "When did you know you didn't want to be a girl?" Max whispers, voice small and weak sounding, even to her own ears.

Steve grabs Max's hand and holds it oh-so-gently, the angel he is.

"I always subconsciously knew when I was younger, I guess? I never wanted to wear dresses or look pretty. I wanted to feel like a boy. I always got mad when my teachers would split the class into girls and boys. I would try to go with the guys, and my teachers would usher me back into the girls side, telling me that I'm a girl, not a boy. Kids would laugh and point at me for it,"

Steve pauses, getting teary eyed.

"And I didn't fully recognize how I felt inside until after I met Robin and everybody else. I got assured that it was normal to feel like this, so then I recognized how to love myself and my body. I understood that I was a boy, that I am a boy, and I should be proud of who I am."

Max lets out a wet laugh, tears threatening to spill over and around her eyelids.

"I don't think I'm a girl, y'know, at all."

Max looks at Steve through glimmering eyes, and he pulls her into a hug, squeezing her, comfort washing over her body like a cold shower. "I'm so proud of you, Red. So, so proud. I love you, so much."

That's when the tears really start to flow. Max hugs Steve right back, laughing with hurt and love and peace and too many emotions that flood his body.

"You're the best brother I could've asked for, Steve."

They stay like that for minutes on end, time drifting together; Steve rocking Max back and forth in his arms, tears from Max staining his polo shirt.

Steve pulls back first, still holding Max's hand. "And you're the best brother I could've asked for. You're a boy, don't doubt that, Max."

Max wipes at his eyes. "Did I ever mention how much I love you, Steven Belinda Harrington?"

Steve sputters with laughter, letting go of Max's hand. "Belinda? That's the best you could come up, Mayfield? I thought I was the best brother you've ever had?"

"I'll take it back, Belinda, trust me, don't think I won't," Max laughs, punching at Steve's shoulder, not a touch of violence or hate behind it.

#trans max mayfield #trans steve harrington #steve harrington #stranger things #max mayfield #my fic #writing #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #modern au #no upside down au #sibling bonding #max & steve are siblings #trans characters #trans male character #transmasc steve harrington #transmasc max mayfield #I WILL SPREAD THE TRANS MAX AGENDA IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO #rough draft #my gaybies #my gay ass #coming out #body dysphoria #he/him max mayfield #stranger things fic #that's enough tags okok

[theladybarnes]

DON’T YOU WANT ME, BABY? : CHAPTER FOUR

“Mistakes have been made.”

▸ summary: a happy reunion happens, but boy drama ruins it all ▸ characters: steve harrington, billy hargrove, max mayfield, & the party ▸ word count: 4.8k     ▸ warnings: angst, toxic exes, and general billy behavior ▸ series masterlist

The clock in Ms. Kelley’s office ticked loudly in the empty room, making you slightly more irritated as you continued to wait out for your counselor. 

 It was only a minute back to your group at gym class that Coach Duffer sent you to leave class early and go into the main office of the school. Something you didn’t think over until you were coming through the threshold with wet hair that soaked the top of your blouse. Could they not have given you at least a second to towel dry your hair?

 “Alright, Miss Henderson.” Ms. Kelley chimed as she entered the room. “While I’m always happy to see you, I’m afraid I’m a bit unsettled by today’s visit.” 

 “You and me both, Ms. Kelley. Which is why I think we should reconvene on better circumstances and call it a day!” you clapped, going as far as to pick up your bag from the floor. The cheery tone only caused her to raise a brow as she settled into her seat across from you. 

 “Miss Henderson, it’s clear to me that today was quite the off day for you. Did something happen before school? Are you feeling alright?”

 There was no good answer that you could give to the poor counselor. Was it the weird sex dream? The hangover? The boys who lie? How do you give her the gist of all that and come off as sane?

 Bringing your hand up, you rub gently at your chin. Normally in court, you would plead a case and go through a million questions before allowing the jury to come to a conclusion. But with Ms. Kelley playing judge, jury, and executioner, you had to go about this differently.

 “Guilty,” you sighed. “I’m not feeling well. And my severe actions deserve their proper consequences.” Leaning forward, you tilt your head towards the women, giving your best sorry face you could muster. “I’ll take whatever punishment you see fit.”

 The thought up answer didn’t seem to satisfy Ms.Kelley. In fact, it made her frown harder as she jotted down a few things on her notepad. “Ms. Henderson, you flipped off a teacher, yelled at two students, and hurt one with a basketball. You mean to tell me that you want to play all that off from not feeling well?”

 Sensing that there was a need for a small bit of honesty, you let out one piece of information that could hopefully close this case. “Well, that and some of the boys are spreading lies about the tellings of my personal sex life.” 

 Her jaw slacked a bit, pen falling to the side before she scrambled to pick it back up in her hand. “That is a serious accusation, Ms. Henderson. Are you sure that’s the reason?” 

 “Well, it’s definitely the main one.”

 A sour sort of look spread over her face and she looked between you and her notepad for a second before she tore off the paper and threw it in the trash can beside her. “I need you to apologize to Coach Duffer for the unsavory hand sign you gave him, and clean up the gym after practice today for Coach Troy for disrupting his class.”

 To say you were shocked was understatement, but you certainly don't question it as you stood up from your seat. Holding onto your bag tightly to leave before she changed her mind. “Sounds like a reasonable punishment, Ms. Kelley.” 

 “I also want to let you know you’re free to come talk to me if anyone else starts spreading more misinformation, okay?”

 “You got it, Ms. K!”

 You made your way over to the door, giving the woman a thankful wave as she called out one more request to you. 

 “And please don’t attack any more boys!”

  While Ms. Kelley had given you a break today, most of the day seemed to go on longer than you expected. During lunch you had a hard time finding Jonathan, needing to be with someone who isn't currently judging you. But that ended up being a bust. Then when it came around time for you to clean up the gym, Coach Troy seemed to purposely drag out practice. 

 Though you spent a good chunk of the day avoiding conversing with others, you couldn’t help but feel bad as you finished cleaning up. Most of the other students were a bit wary of you. Possibly worried they’d be the next target in your yelling spree. Although not everyone seemed to get the hint. Considering you did see Steve by your locker earlier that day. And while you’d like to maybe talk things over with him, it was best not to add fuel to that fire. 

 It was nearing the evening when you finally left the gym. The winter sky had turned dark blue due to the time change. Since Jonathan seemed to disappear from school grounds today, you were stuck taking the long way home. Something you’d definitely be complaining to him on the phone tonight.

 Just as you get on your bike and down the long driveway of the school, you’re about to pass the middle school’s joint hill when you first notice them. Or mostly notice her. The group you now know as your cousin’s “party” were all crowded together on the front steps. Each of them looked worried while the young girl looked confused. 

 “Maximilian! As I live and breathe!” 

 The boys all look over at you with a curious look before the redhead lets out a chuckled sort of gasp. “No way!” She said, rushing down the steps. “You’re here too?”

 Her body colliding with yours nearly took you off your bike, making you giggle as you wrapped your arms around her figure. It’s been quite a while since you’ve seen the young girl and you’re happy seeing her in different circumstances. 

 “Is this where you went to?!” Max exclaimed, moving to look you over. “You still look the same.”

 “Well moving would never stop me from looking good.”

 Giving her a once over, you smile at the sight of her slightly Tom boyish style seeping through in fall clothing. She was always more bright and sunny back in California. You wonder if she’s struggling with the cold as much as you did.

 “How the hell do you guys know each other?” Dustin blurted, stepping down the steps to join at your side. “And why are you at the school so late?”

 Frowning you point a finger at him sternly. “I’m here because it’s none of your business and I know her because she's from back home.” 

 “She used to date my step-brother before she dumped him.” 

 “You have a brother?” Mike asked, a familiar look of displeasure on his face as he crossed his arms. 

 “Step-brother.” you both corrected him. 

 Turning back to the others you can’t help but feel their tension. “Are you guys hanging out together?” Peeking, you notice someone missing. “Why are you guys here so late? Where’s Will?”

 Max scrunched her nose, pushing a fiery lock behind her ear. “I’m not hanging out with these guys. They were stalking me. And Will just—“ 

 She’s cut off with a harsh nudge from Dustin. The slight push caused her to bump into you, making you nearly trip off your bike. “Geez!” she whispered, looking over at him with wide eyes. You can’t help but notice that they’re keeping something from you.

 “Hmph,” you hummed, looking over at the group. “You guys are acting weirder than usual.” 

 Lucas stepped up with a sorry sort of smile on his face. “Uh we’re not, just worried about Will. His Mom had to come pick him up because he went into another weird episode.” The rest of the boys turned back into a slightly worried expression.

Jonathan had told you before how Will would become spacey sometimes, but lately it seemed like things were going backwards in his development. 

 Nodding your head, you place a hand down on Max’s shoulder, giving her a small smile. “He’s going through things. He'll be better in no time.” It wasn’t easy to lie to her, but considering you didn’t want to involve someone else in the mess from last year, you’d have to tough it out to protect her.

 “Considering we’re not clouded by smoke from Billy, I’m guessing you’re gonna take your board home.” 

 Max peered over your shoulder to see across where the parking lot was. “Asshole.” she muttered before looking back at you. “I guess I am.”

 Turning to the boys who were trying to huddle together, you pointed over to the bike rack. “Let’s get going! We’ll all ride together.” They all groaned a bit, hating the break up of their little get together. “Nuh uh, I won’t have any of that bitching, twerps. It’s gonna get dark and we don't need to be here a minute longer.” 

 Max ran back inside to quickly grab her backpack from her locker, leaving you alone with the boys for a second to quickly discuss what you couldn’t before. 

 “So, do you guys think Will is okay? I thought he was getting treatments or something down at the Lab?”

 “We have no clue.” Mike sighed, adjusting his footing on the bike pedal. “He was off on Halloween and today he totally seized out on us. I wish we just had some clear answer.” The other two boys nodded, looking back at the school door to spot out for Max. 

 “And what about Max?” you asked, catching their gazes again. “What is she doing in the mix of all this?”

 “Geez, you sound like you don’t want us to hang out with her.” Dustin scoffed, gripping onto his bike handle tightly. 

 “As much as I’d love for her to have friends she can punk around like you guys, I’m worried she might get involved in something that’s too big for her. Like you guys already are.”

 Mike frowned a bit at that. “She’s not a part of the party. Don’t worry.”

 There’s a slight disdain in Mike’s tone. Which you’re pretty familiar with, but it felt slightly unwarranted since he’s most likely known Max for less than a week. “Okay, noted.” you chuckled, making him shrug his shoulders.

 The heavy door creaked loudly as Max pushed her way out. Bright hair blowing in the wind as she placed the board down on the ground. “Alright, you guys okay?” she panted, noticing the change in the group’s demeanor. The boys gave you a glance before you smiled over at Max. 

 “Yup! Let’s get going!” You called out, turning your bike to lead the way. It was just in time to miss the look of suspicion from her blue eyes.

  To your surprise, when you finally got home with Dustin, Tina had been waiting on the phone. Wanting to hear the details of what happened after you left the gym class. Mostly because the rumor mill must have had some missing details.

 Your vague answers did little to satisfy her, but she was willing enough to share the news of Billy having come over to them at lunch. Claiming he wanted to spend some time with Vicki that day. It would seem he was finally over you and therefore making Tina accept you back into her inner circle for now.

 The phone call left you with a sort of sick feeling.

 After a few attempts of trying to call Jonathan, you gave up for the night. Eating dinner quickly to get into bed early that night. All you could hope for was tomorrow being a better day without any trouble.

  “Did you hear about your little weirdo and Nancy Wheeler?”

 You had barely been able to get your book out of the locker when Tina and Vicki came into your line of vision. “No, can’t say I know what you’re talking about.” The brunette raised a brow, leaning against the metal door with a slight smirk.

 “Some say they ditched early the other day. Left around lunch.”

 “Others say they ran away together because they’re secretly in love!” Vicki giggled.

 You stole a glance over to the locker beside you. Usually you managed to avoid the girl when getting your books, but now and then you’d see her there. But now that you’ve thought about it, it’s been three periods and you haven’t even seen her or Jonathan yet.

 “I doubt that’s what’s going on.”

 “Enlighten us, babydoll.” said a deep, agitating, grating voice. 

 The metal locker door creaked as he slowly shut it to reveal Billy’s face. The toothy grin plastered on his face as he annoyingly chewed gum loudly. “The girls and I have been trying to figure it out since first period.” 

 The other two giggled a bit, even going as far to twirling a piece of their hair as they nodded eagerly. Unfortunately, with the lack of contact from either person, you couldn’t give any of them the truth.

 “They’re friends. Probably skipped the day to go hang out.” you shrugged, trying to play it off coolly. “Is that suddenly a crime?” 

 The two girls seemed slightly to agree before Billy scooted in closer, placing his arm across your shoulder as he leaned in to you. “We both know that Wheeler recently dumped Harrington too. You mean to tell me she’s not trying to rebound onto this Jonathan guy?”

 Did Nancy break up with Steve? Was the reason why he had been crying at the party? Had it been yesterday when she went into the gym after you left? 

 Something in your face must have given off the confusion because suddenly the two girls are giggling at you. Playfully pushing at your shoulder. “It seems not even Byers’ only friend would know what the hell is going on.” Vicki said, making Tina smirk slightly in amusement. 

 “Poor thing.” Billy cooed. “I should help her catch up. We’ll see you guys at lunch.” he winked, waving them off with his free hand. You silently pleaded with your eyes, even shaking your head a bit to get them to stay. But the two giggled at Billy, ignoring your pleas as they waved goodbye to the two of you. Billy finally released you from his grip, allowing you to take a small step back. He remained cocky as he slid to lean against the locker.

 “What is your damage, Billy? Since when do you care about gossip?”

 “I care when it involves our friends.”

 “God, they are not your friends.” you spat, rolling your eyes. “They’re like your obsessed followers.” 

 The comment made him chuckle, rubbing his hands together in front of him as he gave off a meek shrug. “What can I say? They adore me here. Not like they have anyone else to look up to considering Harrington is nothing but a loser these days.”

 Something didn’t sit right with you to hear Billy talk about Steve that way. He didn’t know why he had fallen out with his friends. And while he wasn’t sitting with the same group of people, there were some who still held him in high regard. So why did Billy’s words bother you so much?

 “So,  if the competition is low, why bother with checking out rumors that don’t mean squat to you?”

 “Well for one, competition is still competition. And two,” Billy leaned in, a dark cast over his light eyes as he pointed a finger at you. “because it matters to you.”

 You frowned down at his finger. “It doesn’t matter to me. I hate the guy. Anyone will tell you that.”

 “And yet he likes you.”

 There was no way in hell Billy did not hit his head on the way into Indiana. Because at this point in time, even a child could tell that Steve Harrington only had eyes for Nancy Wheeler. Shaking your head, you look at Billy skeptically. “You’ve been here less than a week and think that?” you laughed, turning to go towards your next class. “I think you need a new informant because he is definitely not into me.”

 “I have eyes, no need for clarification.” he sighed. “I’ve also been told by Tommy that you like him too. Since you came into town.”

 Your sneakers squeak against the floor as you quickly turn to face Billy. Eyes glaring hard on him. “Tommy Hagan was practically trying to get real estate up Steve Harrington’s ass last year and you want to believe one of his deranged rumors?”

 “He says you were practically all over him despite his attempts to get with Nancy.”

 Laughing loudly, you shake your head at the boy. “I hung out with Tommy and his scheming girlfriend for one week and they came up with that shit?” Billy only stared at you with his calculating eyes, trying to pick out the lie in your words like he usually did with others. But you know him well enough now to cover up what you didn’t need for him to know.

 “The three of them were assholes and I was done with all their bullshit by the weekend. When they figured I wasn’t going to hang out with them anymore, they decided to campaign against me.” 

 “Because you’re so worth lying about?” Billy asked, cocking his head to the side.

 “What can I say, Billy? People tend to act a certain way when it comes to me.” 

 Your words seem to work because Billy chuckled lightly, nodding his head a bit before he extended a hand towards the direction you were going before. “Just thought I’d ask about it. I’m only looking out, babydoll.” The nickname made you cringe lightly. 

 “Well I don’t need you to look out for me.”

 “Oh I know,” he smirked, waving you off. Not waiting for your leave, he turned to walk down the opposite direction. But not without giving you what felt like a warning.

 “I’m looking out for me.”

  As of this week, the school day left you falling into a funk. Not only were most of your friends icing you out because of Billy, but Jonathan really did skip out on the day. Leaving your lunch plans practically dead. 

 It wasn’t until you were inside the cafeteria, holding a plastic food tray tightly in your hands that you suddenly felt ill. 

 Never in all your high school life had you been such an outcast. You had so many friends back home. But as of right now, the idea of being friends with anyone felt like a risk. Were they going to leave you too? Was there anyone you could trust anymore?

 Not one for letting your real emotions show, you cock your head up, ignoring some of the leering eyes of the student body as you made your way to one of the center tables that had been abandoned. You’d eat quickly, but confidently. With no signs of discomfort on your face. That way no one could get the satisfaction of thinking they made you feel bad.

 You pulled out a magazine from your bag, placing it down in front of you so that you could keep your attention focused on something other than the students around you. But just as you had begun to eat into the school’s overheated pizza slice, another person slid on the seat across from you.

 “We need to talk.”

 You kept your eyes down on the page rereading the same paragraph of the quiz ‘who your celeb soulmate is’ as you ignored the boy across from you. “Don’t really see what we have to talk about.” you mused, turning the page for results. 

 “Would the fact that everyone keeps talking about us not be good enough reason?” 

 “Nope.” You drawed out, frowning down at the paper. “Damn, I got Tom Cruise. I wanted Michael J. Fox.”

 The magazine is snatched from your line of vision. Making you snap your head up to finally look at your unwanted guest. “Give that back, Steve! I have to find out if Tom Cruise likes what I do!” 

 Steve folded the paper over, giving you an exasperated look before leaning in close. “You can figure all that out later. We gotta get these rumors under control.” 

 Blowing air through your nose, you keep your composure under control as you begin to pick at your lunch. Eating bits of the pizza with your fork. “Us sitting together is just gonna make things worse.” 

 “That’s what I’m talking about! We should be able to do things like sit next to each other without it meaning anything.” 

 Leaning back against your chair, you raise a brow at Steve. “Well, get Nancy to help clear some of the air. She’s a part of this as much as we are.” 

 His face fell at the mention of the girl. Suddenly emotional, he reached over to your lunch, ripping a chunk of pizza off as he chewed on it harshly. “We can’t go to Nancy right now.” 

 Glaring at the now torn off piece, you try and move past his sudden indulging of your lunch. “Well no, I know she’s not here today. But tomorrow..”

 “No, we can’t go to Nancy right now because..she and I are fighting.” 

 “Okay, so make up with her.”

 “It’s not that easy, trouble.” 

 Something was telling you that you’d regret going on with this conversation but your curiosity had a better hold on you than you thought. “Well why the hell not? You guys are practically making out in the hallway these days. Just bring her flowers and make up already.” 

 Steve, having grown more annoyed, leaned towards the table, brows furrowed as he spoke softly. “I can’t just make up with her because she thinks we killed Barb.” 

 Pushing your tray aside, you move to lean close to him. Not wanting to risk anyone hearing the conversation now. “What the hell do you mean? Is this why you were crying the other night?!” you hissed. 

 “I was not crying…but yes. Among other things.”

 “Like what?”

 He looked hesitant at first before he dived into a brief explanation of the night. And you were unfortunately correct on them being off from the start. But you really didn’t expect the last part. “..Apparently, we were never in love, I’m bullshit, and now she’s run off with Jonathan out of town.”

“Shit.” you said, reeling back a bit. The two of you have a bit of a stare down as you try to think of how exactly you were supposed to reply to that. While you had your own problems with Steve. 

 What Nancy was blaming him for was unfair. No one could have figured that Barb would be taken by a demogorgon that night. It was just a party, where stupid teens were supposed to make stupid decisions. How could the blame be on either of them for something that wasn’t even a part of this world?

 “I’m sorry,” reaching out, you placed your hand gingerly on top of his. Feeling the warmth from his palms as his fingers twitched from the contact. “It’s not your fault..I hope you know that.”

 Steve’s lips parted slightly, words being suddenly taken from him as his gaze moved between your hand and your face. Turning the hand over, he gently allowed your fingers to slip into his. Only for a second before he gave a squeeze. “Thanks.”

 Figures that the one time you’re actually having something of a nice moment with Steve it has to do with you comforting him about Nancy. But a small selfish part of you is lingering onto the way his touch feels to you right now. 

 “I know I’m probably the last person you think would suggest this. But maybe we can find a way to figure out where Nancy and Jonathan are. Help figure out what mess they’ve gotten into-”

 “You know Harrington. When I mentioned leaving behind some girls for you, I wouldn’t have expected you go after my girl of all people.” The chair beside you screeches loudly as Billy plops down beside you. The strong scent of his Aramis making you nearly gag as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. Steve is quick to drop your hand as he leaned back in his chair, glaring over at Billy.

 “Okay, first off. I am not your girl. Second, what the hell are you on about, Billy?” Pushing his arm off, you turn a bit to face him. Though his tone was playful, you couldn’t help but notice the familiar look of fire behind his eyes. He was upset.

 “Lover boy here is obviously having some relationship problems as we’ve discussed.”

Steve’s brown eyes snapped to you, giving you a questioning look as Billy went on. “I thought I gave him some humbling advice but he clearly ran off with it.” 

 “God, do you ever stop talking?” Steve muttered in disbelief. 

 “No, he lacks the capacity to have any sort of tact.” 

 “Others would say I'm just brutally honest.” Billy interjected, attempting to make a point. But all you and Steve did was scoff in reply. 

 Scooting your chair away from his side, you turned to face him better. Not needing to be plagued by his close scent anymore. “What asinine advice did you give Steve?”

 “Easy, I told him there was plenty of girls–”

 “Not the word I remember hearing.”

 Billy blinked hard, nose flaring before he went on. “That he should move on and find some other bitch to help him forget Wheeler.” The harsh words made your face twist uncomfortably. “And like I mentioned before, I didn’t think he’d do that with you of all people.”

 You couldn’t help but recall the conversation you had with Billy earlier in the hall. His comments about Steve possibly liking you felt so out of pocket. Even now, right before he had come in and invaded your conversation. All you and Steve were doing was talking about how upset he was because of Nancy.

 “Who she talks to is none of your business.” Steve said suddenly. “From what she’s told me, she dumped you last year, leaving you a mess back in California.” 

 “Oh is that what she said?” Billy asked, followed with a dark chuckle that you knew was being led to a worse reaction. “What else do you suddenly know about her?”

 “I know she’s obviously grossed out by you and yet all you’ve done since you’ve gotten here is invade her space, man. It’s like you aren’t getting the hint.” Steve countered, almost leaning across the whole table with how close he got.

 “Really! You of all people are able to grasp hints all of a sudden!”

 “Believe me, I’m not the only one seeing the signs. She’s practically crawling away from you every time you’re by her.”

 “And just how many times are you watching whenever I talk with her? She’s my girlfriend!”

 “She’s not!”

 “ENOUGH!” you yelled, suddenly pushing your chair back. The cafeteria deafens as the students around you notice the drama that's at your table. “I’ve about had it with you two!” 

 Both boys’ jaws dropped as they noticed your sudden anger. It wouldn’t be the first time that either one of them has dealt with your fury and from the way they act it certainly wouldn’t be the last. And while you hated the idea of having an audience, you could not hold back anymore.

 “For the last and final time, Billy. I am NOT your girlfriend. You’re an egotistical man-whore who needs a god damn reality check! Leave me the hell alone!” The blonde nearly paled through his tan complexion as his eyes flickered to those around him. 

 Your gaze turned to Steve, making him nearly jump in his seat as his face almost mirrored the same look from last year when you gave him a piece of your mind. And while the anger wanted to come out, a part of you held back. “We’re not friends.” The words felt heavy when you saw Steve’s face fall. “I don’t need you to defend me and I definitely don’t need you to speak for me.”

 Turning the students around you, you cock your chin out, letting out a calm breath before speaking again. “Shows over, assholes!” And with that the other students quickly diverted their attention back to their meals, not willing to be the next target in your tirade. 

 Grabbing your bag from the table, you quickly gather your tray, and push in your chair. Steve defeatedly holds up the magazine to you, making you swallow at the sight before you snatched it from his hands. 

 The stress of dealing with petty high school drama was beginning to get the best of you. And for the second time in your life, you’re walking away from telling off Steve Harrington. And like last time, it’s left you questioning just how you really felt about him.

a/n: pls be kind. this chapter was such a struggle for me 🥹 

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfic #angst #toxic ex #adopted reader #dywmb

[woso-fan13]

Sicktember 2023: 30 (uswnt)

Patient 0

It wasn’t your fault. Technically, you are the only person that the blame falls to, but you didn’t mean for everything to happen. You had felt fine when you had left for camp and when you arrived. You didn’t start feeling sick until dinner on the first full day, but you blamed the headache on the lack of water that you had consumed that day. 

Waking up the next morning, you knew that this wasn’t caused by a little dehydration. This was, without a doubt, a nasty bug. 

You were determined to keep this to yourself in all ways possible. You didn’t want your teammates to know that you were sick, but you also didn’t want to get them sick. The best way to accomplish both of these things is to hide from everyone as much as you can. 

You had some pretty good excuses over the next day, insisting that you needed to complete a lengthy assignment for school and spending a lot of time in your room. You also claimed that you wanted a little extra practice time, allowing you to get out of the locker room before everyone else arrived and stay on the field until you were sure everyone had changed. It was draining, but it was for the best. 

—-

On the third day, an unstopping knock sounded on the door. When you heard the voices on the other side- Emily and Kelley- you knew that they wouldn’t stop knocking until you opened the door. 

Unwrapping the blanket from your body and pausing briefly to try and make yourself look less ill, you make it to the door and open it. You stare at the women on the other side, an eyebrow cocked in question. 

“Hey, nugget,” Emily says, pushing past you and walking into your room, “we figured you could use some company tonight.”

You protested, assuring the women that you were busy while trying to hide the rasp in your voice. The two women ignore you and settle on your bed anyway.  

“Yeah, yeah,” Kelley rolls her eyes, “I’ve heard, you’re swamped. But you know what I think?”

You shake your head slightly, unsure as to where Kelley is going. 

“I think it’s all a lie. What do you think, Sonny, is Y/N lying to us?”

You try to protest but Emily interrupts you, “she obviously is. I mean, look at her.”

“I think you’re lying,” Kelley continues, “because it’s summer right now. So I know your fall classes haven’t started, and I know that you weren’t taking any summer classes. So you obviously aren’t working on something for school. All of this brings up the question of why you’re lying.”

You stay silent, your eyes suddenly finding it necessary to study the carpet on the hotel floor. 

Emily decides that she should also chime in, “at first, we thought you were just being a little shy. But, come on, when have your name and shy been used in the same sentence?”

Kelley continues the conversation, “Then we thought you might be working on a surprise or a prank or something, but you can’t keep a secret.”

“And then,” Emily pauses, “we figured it out.”

“You’re sick, kiddo,” Kelley says bluntly. 

“No, I’m not,” you insist much too quickly for someone telling the truth, “I’m totally fine, I’ve just been busy. But I’m completely, 100%, totally healthy.”

Kelley snags an arm around your waist, pulling you to sit between the two women on the bed, “it’s okay if you’re not.”

And the dams had burst, as you began crying. The two women hold you tighter, whispering calming words as you allow all of the emotions from the past few days to escape. 

“Shh, buddy, you’re okay,” Emily soothes, “we know you’re feeling a little sick, but you’ll feel better soon. I promise.”

“It’s not that,” you whimper through tears, “I- I just don’t wanna be alone anymore.”

Somewhat confused by your confession, the women share a look over your head. Kelley pulls you to completely rest against her, dropping a few kisses to your hair. 

“You don’t have to be alone, that’s why Emmy and I are here. We’re going to snuggle up and watch a movie before bed, you’ll be right between us.”

“But I can’t, cause then you’ll be sick.”

Oh. 

That’s what you had been afraid of. 

“Oh, bug,” Emily says sadly, “we don’t care if we get sick, that’s okay.”

“But you’ll get sick and then everyone will get sick and it will all be my fault,” you force the words out through tears. 

“You’re not going to be patient 0, Y/N/N, I promise. And even if you are, no one will be mad,” Kelley reassures you. 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. Remember when you got really sick at camp last year and ended up in the hospital?”

You nod, thinking about the endless wait in the ER as your sick lungs struggled to breathe properly. 

“Do you remember how you got sick?”

Again, you nod. 

“Do you blame me? I was the first one in the team to get sick and I was your roommate. Was it my fault you got sick and were in the hospital?”

You frantically shake your head no, “of course not, don’t be ridiculous. You didn’t mean to get me sick.”

The women fix you with identical looks, clearly telling you to take your own advice. And you do, slumping fully into their embrace with a sigh. 

#woso imagines #uswnt players #uswnt woso #uswnt x reader #reader insert #uswnt imagine #woso x reader #womens soccer #woso imagine #woso #uswntsoccer #uswnt fanfic #uswnt imagines #uswnt reader #uswnt

[13uswntimagines]

Bah Humbug (Soran x Reader)

Summary: R really really hates Christmas. So much so that she's kinda known as a Grinch. Can a person from her past (and 3 ghosts) help her change her fate?

Basically, it's a story based off of Charles Dicken's Christmas Carol. I hope you enjoy it.

Author's note: I know it's after Christma, but happy holidays everyone. I hope you enjoy this crazy thing out of my head. Feel free to hit me up with comments and requests.

You glared at your phone, taking a long sip of your beer. 

The team knew you didn’t celebrate the holidays, and having your crushes call you to try and con you into attending the annual party was a low blow. Your teammates knew how difficult it was to resist them. 

Maybe that’s why you hadn’t picked up. 

You didn’t anticipate them leaving a message. 

“Hey, you’re busy and that’s probably why you didn’t pick up, but I just wanted to remind you about the team party,” Emily’s voice rang through the phone. 

You noted the distinct lack of mention that it was a holiday party. 

“I know you’re not the biggest fan of Christmas, but I would love to see you there and Lindsey and the rest of the team would too,” Emily finished. 

You took another long sip of your beer, playing the message again. 

It wasn’t fair for your teammates to use your feelings against you. 

If it had been a New Years’ party, or literally anything else you would have gone. But you absolutely could not. Would not. Support any stupid Christmas traditions. 

You had even denied the invite via Megan’s stupid survey. It has taken you nearly half an hour to scroll through the 50 questions about alcohol and desert preferences to pick the option labeled- I’m a grinch who doesn’t like fun and has a heart 2 sizes too small to attend.

It was bad enough that you couldn’t even have peace in your own home, not with your neighbor and all his holiday cheer. 

Why did he have to blast the music so loud that it drowned out your soccer replay? Why did he have to send his wife down to offer you some Christmas pudding? People already looked at you funny when you explained you didn’t love the nation's favorite holiday. You just wanted to be able to have your non-celebration in your own home. 

“Shut up,” You groaned at a particularly loud cheer from the floor above you, tossing your remote so it thumped against the ceiling. “Just let me eat my frozen pizza in peace,” 

What gave them the right to be so loud and merry?

There were still homeless people on the streets, children going hungry, and men fighting over who owned land that was never theirs to own. 

Part of your problem with Christmas was that all it appeared to be was an excuse for rich people to get richer, people to get drunk at parties, and those with bad intentions to take advantage. 

You waited a few more minutes, reaching for another beer as the music only grew louder.  With a sigh you threw your remote a little harder, praying that your neighbor would quiet down. 

You glared when your phone rang again. 

Why couldn’t anyone get the fucking message? You didn’t want to be a part of the Christmas celebrations or their stupid money-grabbing intentions. 

“What?” You grumbled into the phone. 

“Is that any way to greet your favorite team mom?” Kelley asked, and you rolled your eyes. 

Preath were your team moms, but Kelley had stepped in when you were traded to Washington, and you loved her nearly as much as you loved them. 

“You're not my favorite, Christen is,” You scoffed, taking a large gulp of your beer. “And you’re only calling me to convince me to come to the stupid party,” 

Kelley sighed heavily over the line. In all the time she had known you, you had never even tried to be merry. “Come on kid, why don’t you try to get into the Christmas spirit,” 

“No,” You snapped. “I don’t know how many times I have to say it,” 

“But Emily and Lindsey will be there, and Megan’s even putting up an insane amount of mistletoe just for you,” Alex’s voice chimed in, sounding farther away than her girlfriend. “Just come for a little while. You don’t even have to dance to the music. it’ll be fun,” 

“I said no. I don’t celebrate Christmas,” You ground out. “Mistletoe is an invasive, parasitic, poisonous species that could kill you,” 

“You don’t have to be such a Scrooge,” You could hear Kelley’s frown. 

“Well, bah fucking humbug,” You huffed.

“I know things have been tough since Tyler-“ Alex started, but you cut her off with a thunderous growl. “Don’t you dare mention my brother,”  

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. “We never celebrated Christmas either,” you hung up before either of your stand-in parents could say another word. 

You didn’t care what they had to say. You just wanted to have your little non-celebration in peace. You didn’t want to think about your non-existent family. Or the memories that came with this stupid fucking holiday. 

You closed your eyes tightly, listening idly to the sounds of the party above you. 

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

“Shut up!” you yelled louder this time, grabbing a broom and banging on your ceiling. “Keep your Yule Tidings to yourself!” 

There was some banging on the floor above you before the music got impossibly louder, and you swore you heard a “don’t be such a grinch” 

You sighed. 

You were different from the grinch. You hated the holiday and everything it stood for. Not the people. 

And there was no way you would be carving up the roast beast. 

But maybe… 

You clicked into your messages, your fingers hovering over the group chat you shared with Lindsey and Emily. 

It took you a minute to click out a message. 

Be safe tonight you two. Try not to have too much fun without me. 

And another long minute to hit the send key. 

It took less than 30 seconds for your phone to ping with their reply. 

You could make sure we were safe if you came

You shook your head at Lindsey’s words, immediately closing your phone and standing from the couch, and heading towards your room. You knew you could be with them, but you didn’t want to. 

You didn’t want to bring down their night with your negativity. 

You heard your phone ding again as you crawled into bed, but you didn’t feel like answering, hoping to just sleep the holidays away. 

*****

You weren’t sure what woke you up, but one second you were asleep and the next you were not. 

It was like a cold wind had blown through your bedroom, whipping your blanket off of you and slamming your bedroom door with a clap. 

“What the fuck?” You hissed, sitting up in bed, searching for your stolen quilt. 

“Didn’t know you had inherited my sailor's mouth,”

You sucked in a breath at the familiar voice, and your entire being froze. You hadn’t heard his voice since-

You didn’t want to think about it. 

Still, your eyes searched the room for the source of the sound, fully expecting the television to be playing an old home movie. 

But it was oddly blank. “What the fuck?”

“Come on kid, I thought you were sharper than this,” The voice chuckled, and your head snapped toward the noise. 

“No,” You breathed out as you took in his form, his wide smile and beaming features coated in a strange white mist. “You died four years ago. You can’t be here,”  

He hummed. “I told them you would be suspicious,”

You shook your head, standing and beginning to pace. 

“Maybe it was something in the beer,” You mumbled, rubbing your hands through your hair. “I shouldn’t have switched brands,”

“It’s not the beer,” Your brother shrugged, stepping from his place in the doorway to sit on the edge of your bed. 

“It has to be!” You hissed, sending him your best glare.

Ghosts were not real. Dead relatives didn’t visit you at night. 

You had to be hallucinating, or high, or have a brain tumor creating him. 

“It’s not.” He shrugged again, his easy smile never leaving his face. That just made you angrier. How could he smile when you were probably having a mental breakdown? How could he be happy?

He watched you cross the room a few times, shaking his head. 

“Why don’t you sit down so we can talk for a moment? I don’t have an unlimited amount of time,”

You huffed. “How can you be so calm at a time like this?”

“This isn’t my first visit to you, just the first time you’ve been able to acknowledge me,” He said softly, his voice still semi-amused, gesturing towards the bed opposite of him. “Sit, before you pull a muscle or something,” 

You very slowly made your way to the spot, carefully sitting down on the bed, your eyes taking in every inch of your visitor. Your older brother had never been so pale. You also noted the dark circles under his grey eyes, and how his hair was more tousled than usual. But other than that it was him, and he was completely fine, sitting across from you in his signature bomber jacket. 

“You’re really here,” You breathed out, the ever-present ache in your chest easing for just a second. 

He nodded, reaching out to cover your hand with his.“I am,”

It was a strange sensation, like ice and tingles where he had touched you. It didn’t fill you with the warmth you always remembered. 

You pulled your hand away, curling it to your chest. “Why are you here?” 

“I’ve come to warn you,” Tyler said, his voice nothing more than a conspiratorial whisper. 

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “This isn’t some Christmas carol hoax about me forging a chain I’ll have to wear in death, is it? You didn’t celebrate Christmas either and you don’t have one,” 

“No,” Your brother sent you a rye smile. “but there are different kinds of chains Y/n,”

He held up his wrist to show you what looked like a handcuff. 

You frowned, shaking your head. “I adopt an angel every year. I send money to the shelter down the road. I don’t know what else you people want from me,” 

You did everything you could to make the world a better place. The only thing you refused to do was celebrate a stupid holiday. That didn’t stop you from donating or making kids’ dreams come true. 

That should be enough. 

Your brother's eyes tightened. “You’re here alone on Christmas Eve,” 

“So?” You shrugged. 

The only difference from your normal celebrations was that he hadn’t been there to share it with you. 

“Y/n it is too late to change my fate, to relinquish the curse I must face every year of watching those I love, but it’s not late to change yours,” 

His shoulders squared and his voice turned deep, and suddenly you knew that the next words he was about to speak were not his own.  “Tonight you will be visited by 3 spirits. The ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas yet to come. Take heed to what they say. It may be your last chance,” 

He stood to leave without another word, and you mirrored his actions, practically launching yourself at him. 

“Wait!” you yelped, latching onto his cold hand. 

“Hmm,” his eyes turned back to you, but they were more distant than before. 

“I-“ you gulped. “I miss you,”

He smiled, shaking his hand from your grasp, and placing it on your heart. “Remember bug, we’re always with you,”

With one last sad, longing smile he disappeared. 

*****

You were restless, and for the first time in a long time, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. 

Part of you was still trying to convince yourself that your bothers… visit was a figment of drunk yous imagination. The other part was anxiously awaiting for the clock to strike 12 and for the first “ghost” to appear. 

You had never been superstitious. You had laughed at ghost stories and shrugged off tales of apparitions, deeming them as tales meant to scare children. But still, you wondered what this… ghost would look like. What they would do. And most of all how it would try to persuade you that Christmas wasn’t some oversold, over-hyped holiday designed to make people go into debt. 

Your eyes followed the minute hand of the clock, tracking as it finally landed on 12. 

You held your breath, waiting for something to happen. 

But as the minute hand moved again and the seconds ticked by there was… nothing. 

There was no jiggle of your door handle, or uninvited visitor standing at the foot of your bed. There wasn’t even the flutter of a curtain. 

“It was the beer,” you sighed, laying back on your bed, and letting out a chuckle. You closed your eyes, content to sleep the miserable holiday away. 

“It wasn’t,” 

Your eyes snapped open and you leaped out of the bed, turning to face your unwanted intruder. 

“Easy slugger,” The woman on the bed laughed, an eerie glow surrounding her entire body, lighting up your room. 

You froze, your gaze flickering between the woman’s face and the signed jersey that lived on your wall. “Mia?” You asked, earning a chuckle from the retired forward. 

“Not quite, young one. I am the ghost of Christmas Past,” Her smile was wide, warm, and welcoming. 

You frowned, your eyebrows furrowing. “Then why are you shaped like Mia Hamm?”

“I’ve come to you in a form you are more open to accepting. Your idol,” The ghost explained softly, still perched casually on your bed, holding out her sleeve to you. 

You rolled your eyes, scoffing and crossing your arms across your chest. “So you’re just gonna take me through the history of Christmas in hopes of changing my heart?”

The ghost smiled wryly at you as if she expected that reaction. “I am the ghost of not all Christmases past, just your past,” 

“Oh,” You deflated.

“Come young one, grab my sleeve and we will begin our journey,” 

You sighed, closing your eyes tightly as your fingers reached for the robe. 

You had a feeling you weren’t going to enjoy this. 

****

You blew out a long breath as your feet met the ground, your slippers crunching on freshly fallen snow.

Snow you hadn’t seen since you moved to Orlando. 

You blinked up at the scene, taking in the bricks, rod iron, and sloping lawn of the mansion you had called home. 

The angels at the gate were coated in a thin layer of white powder, along with the fountain in the center of the drive. 

It was an image ingrained into your head that you knew would never leave. An image you hadn’t seen since your 11th Christmas. 

But how were you here? You couldn’t be here…

“Are we where I think we are?” You asked Mia slowly, dragging your wide eyes away from your childhood home. 

“We are,” She nodded once. “Our Christmas journey begins with one of your best Christmases. Shall we go inside,” 

You gulped but headed towards the gate nonetheless. Your fingers shook as they unlatched the little lock (shaped like a rose) and you slipped through both it and the door to the house. 

You couldn’t help but smile at the warm air that wafted towards you as you stepped into the foyer of the house, and its distinct smell of cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven. 

It curled around you like a hug from her, and you could feel the tightness in your chest that always accompanied it. 

Mia’s hand on your shoulder was the only thing that prevented you from stepping backward, away from the feelings that you had run from for so long.

“Your family is gathered in the den,” She said softly, “Shall we join them, or do you need a minute?”

You cleared your throat. You shouldn’t feel so choked up just from the smell of cinnamon rolls. It was stupid, but your mother had made them every Christmas morning, and you and your brother had eaten them together with hot chocolate. It was a core memory that just hurt so much now. 

“I’m fine,” You muttered, pushing yourself forward and into the den. 

You ignored the ache in your chest at the lights that littered the walls, and the tree that stood proudly in the corner. But you couldn’t help the feeling that opened in the pit of your stomach when you saw a younger version of yourself settle between your brother and your mother. 

You could remember that Christmas vividly. It was the last real Christmas your family had spent together as a family. 

“I think it’s Ty’s turn,” Your father smiled jovially, holding up a camcorder as your other brother reached for his next box. 

It was small, wrapped in red paper, and clumsily tied with a bow. Your eight-year-old self had been so proud to have wrapped it alone for the first time. Looking back at it, you really should have let your mother help you, but no one commented on the sloppy job. 

“I wonder who this one could be from,” Tyler smiled, bumping your shoulder lightly as a blush colored your cheeks. 

“It’s from me,” Your younger self mumbled, looking away, embarrassed. “I picked it out myself,” 

“I don’t know why I was so nervous,” You hummed, stepping closer to the couch. 

Mia shrugged. “It was the first gift you had ever decided to buy. You put a lot of thought into it,” 

Tyler very carefully undid the bow, and slowly lifted the messy red paper off of the box, and both you and your younger self watched him with rapt attention as he flipped open the lid on the box to reveal an Arsenal beanie. 

“It was his favorite team,” You countered, your eyes never leaving the way he immediately slipped it onto his head and pulled younger you into a hug. “It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to like it,” 

‘No,” Mia agreed. “But your younger self also didn’t realize that it was the thought that counts either,”

You nodded, biting the inside of your cheek as your mother passed younger you your last box. “I didn’t understand that the presents weren’t the thing that mattered yet,” 

You knew exactly what was in that box. 

Your younger self was much less systematic than your brother as she tore off the paper golden, revealing the plain box beneath it. It wasn’t until she peeked under the lid that she paused, her jaw dropped staring at her family. 

“I didn’t learn that lesson until the year after this one,” You muttered as your eight-year-old self ripped the top of the box and held up a signed Mia Hamm jersey. You winced as your younger self launched yourself at your mother. 

You watched for any sign, any wobble from her. 

“She didn’t know she was sick yet,” Mia hummed gently as if she were reading your mind, and you reasoned that she may have been. She was a ghost after all. 

You cleared your throat, shaking your head as young as you tugged the jersey over your head. “I was a dumbass for putting it on. It should have gone directly in the frame,”

“You were excited,” Mia reminded you gently, the hand on your shoulder comforting you more than it should have. “It was everything you had ever wanted,” 

“I would have appreciated not getting a stain right above the crest on the chest,” You shrugged. “Thinking back on it now, I had everything I wanted. I didn’t need a jersey for that. God only knows how much my father paid for that,” 

“Is money all you think about?” Mia asked you softly.

Your eyes tightened at the question.

 “No,” You ground the word out through clenched teeth. Money was all your father thought about. You were nothing like your father. “I just wonder how much good could have been done instead-”

“Of giving you a core childhood memory?” Mia countered, not allowing you to finish your thought. 

You bit your lip, holding in the biting remark on the tip of your tongue. You didn’t like being interrupted, or being contradicted. 

“The memory would have been fine without the jersey,” You grumbled, averting your eyes from your younger self as your mother pressed a kiss to your forehead. “The core experience was about being with them, not some stupid present,” 

Mia hummed, watching you carefully. 

Your younger self pulled away, smiling widely at your mother. “I love Christmas,” 

“And I love you,” She smiled back.

You gulped down the pain in your chest, using the corner of your old West Virginia sleeve to wipe away the liquid forming in the corner of your eye. Christmas had been your favorite for a long time. 

Until it wasn’t. Until you learned its true meaning. 

You forced your gaze from the scene, and back towards Mia. “I don’t want to be here anymore,” 

She nodded once. “Grab my sleeve,” 

*******

Dim lights met you as your eyes flickered open, the yellow glow of the fire illuminating a solitary form curled up in front of it. 

The form shivered, despite its closeness to the blazing hearth, pulling the fraying red blanket tighter around itself. 

Yourself. 

The Christmas tree that had dominated the living room was gone, as were the garland and light strings that hung from the ceiling. The only indication that it was near Christmas was the sound of Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time buzzing softly through an old radio. 

You remembered this night just as well as you had your last stop, even better. You remembered your thoughts as you stared into the fire, how you cursed the universe or any god that may or may not have been listening. You remembered wishing that every radio station wasn’t playing things that reminded you of her, but you couldn’t live with your racing thoughts enough to sit in silence. 

It was the first time you had ever really hated Christmas. 

“You look lonely,” Mia commented, and you jumped slightly. You had almost forgotten that she was there.

“I couldn’t go to the hospital,” You breathed out, your voice shaking with the effort it took to hold back your emotions. “She tried to make us our Christmas cinnamon rolls and collapsed,” 

You shook your head. You had been the one to ask for them. She hadn’t been able to get out of bed long enough the year before to make them, and you missed them. She waved off your father's concern and nodded at you with a chapped-lipped smile. 

Mia’s hand landed warm and heavy on your shoulder, but you brushed her off, taking a step closer to your younger self. 

You didn’t need the comfort now, you had needed it back then, and no one was there. The least you could do was help yourself. 

You slowly reached out a hand, rubbing the spot on the back of your younger self's neck that you knew would soothe her. “It hurts now, but you’ll be alright,” 

“She can’t hear or feel you,” Mia interrupted you, standing on your younger self's other side. 

You glared up at her, a barbed quip on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t get to use it. 

“Hey, munchkin,” Tyler’s voice sent a shiver down your spine, and your youngest self’s head snapped around to see him. 

He smiled sadly down at you, and you moved so he could sit beside your younger self in front of the hearth. 

Tyler’s arm wrapped around your shoulder and you tucked your face into the warm skin of his neck. 

“This is all my fault,” Your younger self breathed out miserably, and you saw the tears creeping down Tyler’s neck. 

“No,” Tyler said firmly, coaxing you out of his neck so he could look you in the eyes. “Mom was sick,”

You shook your head, more tears streaming down your face. “But if I hadn’t asked for cinnamon roll-”

“She probably would have had to go to the hospital anyway,” He countered, using a thumb to wipe your tears away. 

You frowned as you watched them, the smell of Tyler’s calone fresh in your mind. The way his hugs had always made you feel whole. How you trusted him that it would all be alright. 

You didn’t know that your mother was dying in a hospital bed. You had believed him. 

Your younger self touched her face into Tyler’s shoulder, and he held you tighter. 

“He didn’t tell me that we couldn’t afford the surgery or the treatments that would save her,” You mumbled bitterly.  “Or that the treatments probably wouldn’t have helped her anyway,” 

You turned away from the scene towards Mia. “I don’t want to be here,” 

She nodded once, holding out her sleeve, and the scene disappeared around you in a blur of color. 

*****

Your knees wobbled as you landed in the living room of your apartment, and your hand tightened around Mia’s arm as you tried to get your footing. You used your arm to wipe your sleeve across your eyes. 

Brushing away the evidence of one of your worst Christmases. 

“Take some deep breaths,” Mia said softly, her hand landing warm and heavy on your shoulder. 

You nodded, sucking in a wet breath through your nose. 

“Why did you have to show me that?” You asked, glaring at the woman. 

“Because it’s one of the reasons you hate Christmas,” She answered, not wavered by your sudden anger. “Because you can’t see that you don’t have to hate,” 

“Nothing but bad things happen on Christmas,” You spat back, ripping yourself out of her grasp. 

“Tyler didn’t seem to think so,” She said. 

Your glare deepened. 

It wasn’t a fair statement. Yes, Tyler had never lost his joy like you had. 

And neither had you really, not until Christmas four years ago. 

“He did his best,” You reluctantly conceded. 

“You made your own traditions,” She hummed, waving her hand. 

The blurry scenery around you shifted to your apartment. A younger version of you was standing in the kitchen, carefully sliding a pizza out of the oven to sit on the counter next to your beer bottle. 

You frowned at the soft glow of Christmas lights and the sound of an old World Cup playing in the background. 

There was a warmth in the apartment that had been missing since…

You shook your head. 

You didn’t like to think about that night. That Christmas. 

“Hey kid,” Tyler said, knocking on the kitchen counter as he approached you, the Arsenal beanie perched on his head. 

You carefully set the pizza down, smiling widely at him. “What's up?”

You could practically feel the excitement radiation off of you. It wasn’t like the Christmas of your youth, nothing had been the same after your mother died, but you and Tyler had found your own way to enjoy the holiday. 

His mirroring smile was pained, and his fingers tapped the counter like he was nervous. “Dad called,”

Your nose scrunched. “What did he want?”

You hadn’t spoken to him since you moved out to go to college. 

After your mother died, he turned to a bottle to ease his pain, and in the process, he inflicted his pain on you. His jovial heart had turned cold, and you had scars from him that you would never outgrow. 

“It was his nurse at hospice,” Tyler amended quietly. His voice held an unusual edge. “They don’t think he’s going to make it through the night,”

You blinked up at him, your shoulders lifting and falling. “So?”

Tyler sighed, grabbing your wrist gently so you would look up at him instead of focusing on where you were slicing the pizza. 

“I know he’s made some mistakes-”

“He abused me,” You scoffed, interrupting him. “That’s not a mistake,” 

Your voice held no room for argument. It couldn’t, not with all that he had done. 

A mistake was one incident. One accidental laying of hands. 

Your father in his grief had surpassed that hundreds if not thousands of times. The thick, raised scars on your back were evidence of that, as were the sounds of his sneering voice in your ear. 

“He’s our father,” Your brother said sternly but you were already shaking your head. 

“He made his choice,” 

Your voice was bitter, cold. It sent a shiver down present-day you’s spine. 

Tyler blew out another long breath, pushing himself away from the counter. “It’s his dying wish,” 

You followed him out of the kitchen and into the living room. 

“And he can take it to his grave,” You spat the words. As far as you were condemned, you didn’t owe him anything. 

Tyler rolled his eyes, pulling on his boots. “Don’t be cruel Y/n, It doesn’t suit you,” 

You watched him with disbelief as he pulled on his boots, and stood up to grab his jacket. 

“You can't seriously be going to see him,” You said, following after him. “He’s an asshole,” 

“Everyone deserves to have their dying wish heard,” He said, his voice sounding more like a dad than your own father’s had. “Are you coming or not?”

It made you want to soften, but you didn’t. 

“So I can tell him to burn in hell?” You raised your eyebrow at him. 

“Y/n,” He sighed. “Don’t do it for him, do it for yourself. Closure is important,” 

Your lip curled. “I got my closure the first time he picked up a belt, or threw a Christmas tree out the window, or-,” 

“I’ll be back, don't have too much fun without me,” Tyler cut you off, wrapping his scarf around his neck, giving you a very quick hug, and heading out the door. It slammed behind him, and he was gone. 

You stared at your younger self as she stared at the door. 

It was the last time you would ever see your brother alive. The last time you would see his smile or feel his hugs that had always set you at ease. 

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time hummed in the background, and you longed to wrap your younger self up in your arms. 

“I wish I had told him I loved him,” You mumbled as your younger self turned on her heel and headed back toward her pizza. 

Mia’s warm hand found your shoulder again. “You didn’t have to say it for him to know,” 

You brushed her off, tired of her and what she was showing you. “I still wish I said it,” 

Tyler was too good of a person. He wanted to make everyone happy. 

And I’m his effort to give your Father Christmas Joy, he had lost his life. 

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” 

Mia held up her sleeve and you grabbed on. The world tilted on its head and suddenly one of the worst nights of your life was gone. 

All you had learned was that you hated Christmas for a good reason. Only bad things happened on Christmas. 

******

You jolted upright, breathing heavily as your eyes opened. Your hands clutched your wet shirt, soaked through with sweat, and your eyes darted around your room, searching for the ghost of Mia Hamm who only showed you your worst memories. 

Your breathing slowed as you realized you were alone. 

“It was just a dream,” You ran a hand through your damp curls. “I really shouldn’t have switched beer brands,” 

“No, you shouldn’t mix brands because it destroys the flavor,” 

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the voice, leaping out of the bed and whipping around to see one Kelley O’Hara sitting on your bed, dressed in an ugly Christmas sweater that resembled a Christmas tree. 

“What the fuck Kelley,” You grumbled incredulously at the defender. “What are you doing here? How did you get into my apartment?” 

“I’m not Kelley,” She smiled devilishly at you, crossing one leg over the other, a perfect imitation of one of your team moms. “Ghost of Christmas present, happy to make your acquaintance,” 

She held her hand out for you to take. 

You stared at the outstretched fingers warily. 

“Are you here to make me feel worse?” You asked cautiously. 

The defender shook her head, her dimples showing. “I’m just here to show you what you’re missing,” 

You sighed, throwing your head back. “Can we not and say we did? I’ll go to the stupid Christmas party next year,” 

Kelley chuckled, and you heard her stand from the bed.  “I’m afraid not,” 

“It was worth a shot,” You grumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose and looking back at the woman. The amused smile hadn’t left her lips. 

“Ready?” 

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. 

The truth was that you weren’t ready. You didn’t want to be stuck in this scrooge-like dream. You didn’t want to see what you were missing. 

You didn’t like Christmas, and it annoyed you that even your brain wouldn’t let you wallow in peace. 

“Let’s get this shit over with,” 

She snorted, stepping forward and gently grabbing your arm. “It won’t be too bad, don’t worry,” 

The colors in your bedroom blurred and you felt a now familiar tug in your stomach as your world shifted. 

At least this ghost seemed happier. 

*****

Immediate warmth filled your chest as you opened your eyes to the scene, leaning heavily on Kelley as the world shifted into focus. 

Glasses tinkled and the laughter of your friends filled your ears. The smell of cinnamon and cherries filled the air and it felt like home. You didn’t even mind simply having a wonderful Christmas time blaring in the background. 

You couldn’t help the way your lips lifted. You doubted the sounds of your found family would ever not have the power to make you smile. 

“You totally cheated,” Emily grumbled, flicking her Uno cards toward Lindsey. 

The midfielder shook her head, cackling. “I didn’t, I’m just better at this than you are,” 

“I figured your two favorite blondes would make you smile,” Kelley cheered, clapping your shoulder and making you jump. “Christmas pastey told me you were in a bad mood,” 

Your smile morphed into a scowl. “She made me relive two of my worst memories,” 

“She was trying to show you that the people you loved wouldn’t want you to be alone on Christmas,” Ghost Kelley countered as regular Kelley returned to the room, carrying drinks. 

The defender passed the filled solo cups about. “As much fun as uno is, I think an actual game is called for here,” 

Lindsey leaned down and sniffed the cup, scrunching her nose. “What did you put in here, jet fuel?”  

Emily cackled again, even as Alex, Kelley, and Megan shook their heads. 

“No, it’s the special Christmas mix,” Tobin supplied easily. “Kelley makes it every year,” 

“She thinks it’ll make us more honest during never have I ever,” Christen added, winking at the blonde pair. 

“I didn’t know they played never have I ever on Christmas,” You mumbled, leaning towards one of the red solo cups and taking a whiff of your own. Your nose wrinkled at the smell. 

It was definitely something more potent than her normal mix. You caught a hint of Jamison and vermouth, and something… cinnamony. 

Fireball you thought ruefully. She made them fireball manhattans, stronger than ones they could ever get in a bar. 

“Why would you?” Ghost Kelley chuckled, “You’ve never attended a Christmas party with them, even while your brother was still alive,” 

 “I didn’t want to be around the holiday cheer,” You hissed. This ghost was as insufferable as the first was. “And my brother and I had traditions of our own,” 

“Yes, I’m sure eating a frozen pizza and watching a World Cup from 1950 is the best way to spend a Christmas,” Ghost Kelley rolled her eyes. “So much better than being surrounded by people who love you,” 

“It’s just easier” You hissed back. “It doesn’t hurt as much,” 

Being around your friends at Christmas reminded you of what your life was like before your mother died. It reminded you about how much you loved the lights, the colors, and the joy. 

It felt like you were betraying her memory. 

Ghost Kelley raised an eyebrow at you. “All it does is let you wallow in your past pain instead of making new, happy memories,” 

Lindsey put her glass down. “I think I’ll pass, I promised Y/n that we would be safe tonight, and one of us has to drive,” 

“She really cares about you two,” Christen said gently. 

Lindsey and Emily shared a meaningful look.

“We know,” Emily said softly, her face falling just a bit. “We were hoping she would come, so we could… talk about our developing feelings,” 

“I even hung up an extra mistletoe in case,” Lindsey added, gesturing towards the archway between the kitchen and the living room. 

You frowned. “Why would they think I would come?” 

“It’s not you guys, trust us,” Alex hummed, sipping her drink. 

“Y/n just hates Christmas,” Megan added, rolling her eyes. “She basically locks herself away every year with a frozen pizza and a case of beer,”  

“At least she’s got a good reason,” Christen muttered, sending a meaningful look toward Megan. 

Christen was the one to find you the night your brother died. The one who held you after you identified your brother. 

After you said goodbye. 

“They thought you would come because they were hoping you would want to be with them,” Ghost Kelley said, and your eyes snapped to her half-smile.

“She doesn’t have to be such a grinch about how much she hates it though,” Megan scoffed, leaning back against Sue’s legs. “She dunked My speakers at practice because I was playing Christmas music,”

 “And she tossed my hat when I asked her to pick a secret Santa and gave me a lecture on how Santa was a figment created by toy companies and parents to scare children and make money,” Real Kelley added.

“But why?” Lindsey asked, her voice edging too far on desperate for you to feel comfortable. 

Both she and Emily had been warned of your aversion to the holiday, but no one seemed willing to expand on it. 

You hadn’t been willing to expand on it, even if they could tell that it was something that caused you great pain. 

An uncomfortable quiet swept around the circle of soccer players as the vets shared looks. 

“Her mother and her brother both died on Christmas,” Christen explained finally. 

 “and her dad made the ones in between that hell,” Tobin finished, sipping her red cup. “She’s convinced it’s a horrible holiday designed to pray on people’s pain,” 

“She’s living in the past,” Alex added.  “and no matter how hard we try, we can’t drag her into the present,” 

“I do want to be with them,” You growled. 

“Then why aren’t you here?” Ghost Kelley asked, cocking her head to the side. 

 “I get that kid doesn’t like Christmas, but she doesn’t have to make it miserable for the rest of us,” The real Kelley added softly, earning a slap on the shoulder from Alex. She raised her hands in defense. “What it’s true! She’s impossible about everything when it comes to Christmas,” 

“I didn’t go because I didn’t want to make anyone have to share in my gloom,” You muttered towards ghost Kelley, sending a waving gesture towards the room. “Because it’s a kindness to allow them to be happy. It can only happen without me,” 

“I’m going to go get water,” Lindsey muttered, standing from the couch. 

“Well that’s a bummer,” Ghost Kelley cackled, flicking the side of your head. “Must you always be so much of a downer? Your frown is going to give you premature wrinkles,” 

“Why couldn’t my ghost of Christmas present be Christen,” You grumbled, pushing yourself up from your couch’s arm, following after the midfielder. “She’s so much understanding,” 

Ghost Kelley smirked, pushing herself off the wall to walk in time with you towards the kitchen. “Ghost Christen was unavailable, something about a vacation with ghost Tobin,” 

You rolled your eyes, pressing on the swinging door of the kitchen. You heard Emily’s “I'm gonna go check on her,” from behind you. 

“Good to know that they’re just as gross in the ghost world,” You muttered, your eyes landing on Lindsey as you stepped into the kitchen. 

She was far too focused on the pitcher, filling a red solo cup with water. 

You sighed, reaching out a hand towards her shoulder, longing to comfort her, even if you didn’t understand exactly why she was sad. 

“She can’t feel you or hear you,” Kelley reminded you, her voice going gentle. 

You gulped, drawing your hand back before it could run through the midfielder's silky hair. 

“Why is she upset?” You asked, just as Emily slowly pushed open the door, leaning on the counter. 

“You alright?” Emily questioned, her worried eyes following Lindsey’s form. 

The midfielder gulped but nodded. “I’m ok, it was just a lot out there,” 

“We both knew holidays would be a challenge,” Emily hummed. “She was pretty upfront with her hang-ups,” 

“I know,” Lindsey mumbled, her voice cracking. “I just… I didn’t know that the reason why would break my heart so much,” 

You frowned. 

“She’s so sweet, but all she can see in my favorite holiday is death and destruction,” the midfielder continued. “And she’s not open to seeing anything else,” 

“Babe,” Emily whispered, stepping past you and wrapping her arms around Lindsey’s waist. The midfielder turned into her, burying her face in Emily’s shoulder. 

Her back shook with the force of her tears, and you were left speechless. 

She was crying. For you. Because things had happened to you, and you couldn’t let it go. 

It made your chest ache. 

“Don’t worry,” Emily said, rubbing Lindsey’s back, shushing her gently. “She’ll come around. Maybe we can head over to her apartment after tomorrow, and bring her Thai food or something. It’ll be like a tradition of our own,” 

Lindsey sniffled, but you saw her nod at the idea. “She’ll like that,” 

“I would too,” Emily agreed. 

You stepped back from the woman, unable to tear your eyes away. 

They were willing to make a new tradition, just for you. 

“Seems like you picked two good ones,” Ghost Kelley said, her lips very close to your ear. 

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the feeling, whipping around to face her, the kitchen blurring around you as you did. 

Her smirk shifted from playful to something more… mocking. Unfriendly. “Willing to give up their traditions to make you feel more comfortable. But you're not willing to do the same for them are you?” 

“I’m…I,” You stuttered, your eyebrows furrowing. 

She held up her hand to silence you. “My time with you is short I’m afraid. I don’t have any to spare for our banter,” 

With that, she turned on her heel, and it was all you could do to keep us as you stumbled after her, through the door and into- 

Not Kelley's apartment. It was a long, dark cobblestone alleyway covered in shadows. 

*****

“Where are we?” You said, tripping over your feet as you tried to keep up with ghost Kelley. 

She seemed on a mission. You knew the defender was fast in real life, but this felt like an entirely new level. You felt drunk, unable to keep your feet underneath you as you staggered beside her. 

“The present,” Kelley said as if it was obvious. 

You rolled your eyes at her wit, familiar and different all the same. “But where?”

“To show you what you have that you don’t appreciate,” Kelley waved her hand, stopping short and not giving you enough time to stop before you rammed into her. 

You recoiled away from her. “Wasn’t that the point of showing me the stupid Christmas party?” 

“No. That was to show you what you’re missing. This.” Ghost Kelley said shortly, waving her hand again. “This is to show you how ungrateful you are,” 

Light spilled from the lanterns hanging on the walls, chasing away the shadows. It pushed away the darkness, illuminating a small family, huddled together to get out of the cold. 

You stared at the mother, holding a child no older than 4 in her lap. 

“Shh honey, it’ll be alright,” She hummed, rocking the child. 

You couldn’t help the anger that bubbled up in your chest. The rage that no one was listening to you. 

Just because you hated Christmas didn’t mean you were selfish. 

You wheeled around, taking an angry step toward ghost Kelley. 

“I’m fucking tired of this,” You growled. “I donate to charity every year. I give to the angel tree. I fucking give out Turkey dinners to the homeless. What else  do you people want from me,” 

Kelley smirked. “They told me you were smart, but I’m beginning to wonder,” 

You opened your mouth, but she cut you off, stepping too close to you, one hand catching the collar of your shirt and shoving you backward. 

Your back hit the cold brick wall, and for the first time, it felt like a ghost in front of you instead of your very first team mom. 

“You are not living,” She snarled. “You have friends who love you. A family you found, yet you act like everything was taken from you,” 

You pressed into her hand. “Everything was taken from me. A stupid disease took my mother, grief took my father and a drunk driver coming home from a Christmas party took my brother. That’s all this fucking holiday does. Take!”

“It didn’t have to take you,” Kelley said, bitterness clear in her voice. “You gave up your joy willingly,” 

Your teeth mashed together at the implication that your misery was your own fault. 

“Your chain is not defined by greed and ignorance, but instead loneliness and grief,” She hissed, pressing you into the wall, her lips curling to reveal sharp teeth in a way that the real Kelley’s would never. “Forged by your unwillingness to live rather than exist,” 

She pushed you again against the cold brick, before stepping away. 

Your fingers fell to your collar, straightening the crumpled material. “You want me to forget. To pretend,” 

Ghost Kelley paused, her shoulders rolling as she turned back to you, her eyes hard, unfriendly. 

“No.” She said slowly, her shows clicking as she took a menacing step towards you.“We want you to understand the difference between remembering and wallowing in your pain,” 

Her finger found its way to your chest, and she leaned in close to you again. “You waste the care people have for you. You must change before they lose it and you lose them,” 

The finger on your chest shoved hard, enough for you to stumble back. You expected to hit the wall, but you didn’t. 

Before you knew it, you were falling. 

*****

“Oof,” 

Your breath left your lips as your back contacted the ground, and white, powdery snow billowed around you. Your hands fell to your stomach, as you sucked in as much air as you could get, hoping to calm your racing heart. 

At least Mia had helped you calm down before she banished you away. It would be hard to not hold the ghost's cruelty against the real-life Kelley. 

You took in another deep breath, blowing it out slowly through your nose, counting to 5 in your head, trying to use the technique that your therapist had shown you. 

At least she didn’t think you were living in the past. She didn’t have a problem with your preferred Christmas celebration. 

… though she had suggested you send out thank you notes this year as surprise Christmas gifts. You hadn’t because you weren’t ready yet. You and Tyler had never exchanged formal gifts. 

You shook your head, carefully pushing yourself to a sitting position, and running a hand through your hair. Maybe you were living a bit in the past. 

But you could fix that. A couple of notes and then neither your therapist nor the stupid ghost of Kelley could look at you like you were broken again. 

Notes weren’t a big deal. 

You dragged your hand down, squeezing the bridge of your nose. 

Doing the notes would show Kelley and your therapist that they were wrong. 

“Took you long enough,” 

Your entire being froze at his voice, your back instantly going rigid. It brought you back to your childhood. 

“Fucking Christ,” You muttered. “First I get my hero who shows me my worst memories, then I get my team mom who shows me all of my friends talking about me behind my back and now I get you,” 

“You get me,” Your father said softly, and you could feel his large form settle beside you. “I am the ghost of Christmas future,” 

You couldn’t help the way you instinctively tensed. 

“Future that is, or that will be?” You asked, finally gathering the courage to look up at him. 

You slowly dropped your hand, peeking up at him through your fingers. You were slightly surprised when the sight didn’t send a shiver down your spine like it used to. 

Your father’s form was imposing as it always had been, but his face wasn’t as… mean. His beard looked unkempt and there were dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in years.

It made you feel almost… sorry for him. As did the long, heavy chain that encircled the two of you, bound to his wrists and ankles. 

You knew he had earned that chain. Forged each link with hatred and pain. 

“The future as it is,” He answered, his blue eyes a cloudy gray, kinder than they had been since your mother died. “Its fluid, so nothing is set until the present becomes the past,” 

He shifted beside you, as if he wanted to rest a hand on you, but thought better of it. You had never seen him so hesitant. 

He had been cold and rigid since your mother passed, never bending and forcing you to break. 

“Why did they send you?” 

You couldn’t help the way you sneered the word. 

Your father sighed, running a hand through his messy curls, much like you did when you were nervous. “It is too late for me to change my fate, but it’s not too late for you. I’m part of the reason you are in the situation you are in. I wished to help fix it,” 

You swallowed hard, looking away. 

Do it for yourself. Closure is important. Your brother's voice rang through your head like a bell, and you bit your lip. 

You nodded. Fighting whatever the stupid ghosts wanted to do would get you nowhere, and the sooner you listened, the sooner you could leave your father and never look back, 

“Show the way then,” You muttered through gritted teeth. 

It came out more vindictive than you meant it to, and his shoulders hunched slightly. 

It should have made you feel good after everything he had done, but it didn’t. It made your chest hurt. It made you feel like you were a bad person. 

Your father hummed, waving his hand. “That way,” 

You squinted in the direction of his hand as the fog slowly disappeared around you, revealing large rolling hills spotted with stones. You frowned. 

You knew where you were, and you shouldn’t have been surprised. You had heard a Christmas Carol before. 

“Is this the part where you show me that I’m dead and no one gives a fuck?” You asked with a rye smile, pushing yourself to your feet. “Which one of these graves is mine?” 

Your father raised an eyebrow at you, gesturing off towards your left. 

You nodded, moving in the direction he pointed. He fell into step beside you.

Your eyes traced the smooth, gray stones as you passed them, only stopping when you came upon the one with your name on it. 

You crouched beside it, brushing away the snow that had fallen, slightly obscuring your name. You paused when you got to your last name, I’m taking a sharp breath when you saw the little hyphen. Sonnett-Horan. 

You blinked up at your father. “I took their names?” 

Your father nodded once. “You wanted to honor them, and your own last name held no memories you wanted to keep,” 

You hummed. You could see yourself doing that. The only pride you held in your name was the number of goals you had scored while it was etched across your jersey. Other than that, all your last name held was pain. You didn’t want to carry on your father's lineage. 

Not after what he had done. 

“Anna wait!” 

Your head snapped towards the sound. 

“I wanna see Momma,” The little voice called over her shoulder. 

It belonged to a girl, no older than five, racing towards you. Her hair was blonde, sharing a striking similarity with Emily’s. 

It stole the breath from your lips. 

“I know,” The other voice said. A slightly older voice, belonging to a little boy. His brown hair was combed to the side, and his jacket fluttered as he chased after the girl, finally catching up with her several feet from the grave. Anna. 

He said as they stopped right in front of you.“Mommy has the flowers. We should have waited for her,” 

Anna blinked up at him with big blue eyes, gesturing towards the grave at your feet. “I just… I missed her Tyty,” 

“I know,” He sighed, running a hand through his slightly curly hair. “I miss her too,” 

You used the corner of your shirt to wipe the sudden wetness in the corner of your eyes. 

“Who are these kids?” You asked, looking up at your father, his eyes looked slightly misty too. 

“My grandchildren,” He said. “Tyler just turned 8 and Annamarie is 4,” 

You opened your mouth to reply, but you couldn’t seem to find your words. 

And a new voice made it so you didn’t have to. 

“When did you two get so fast?” 

Your eyes snapped up to meet Emily’s blue. Identical to the blue of the little girl. AnnaMarie. 

She was a little older than your present-day Emily. The wrinkles by her eyes were a little more prominent, and you spotted a few gray hairs peeking through her bun, but nothing else had really changed. 

The boy smirked, nudging Emily with his shoulder. “You’re just getting slow mommy,” 

“Very funny,” She chuckled, taking a shaky breath when her eyes landed on the grave. 

Your grave. 

“She looks tired,” You muttered. 

“She is,” Your father said cryptically, but you couldn’t pull your eyes away to address him. 

Her bottom lip found its way between her teeth as she pulled a bouquet of roses out from behind her back, passing them to the boy. 

The boy took them gingerly like they were made of glass. 

“Hey Momma,” He said, carefully placing the flowers right in front of your headstone. “We miss you. Mommy put the tree up in the basement this year,” 

“Mama hasn’t come to see it yet,” The little girl said. The boy, Tyler, stood and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Aunt Kelley says it’s the prettiest tree she’s ever seen,”

You blew out a breath. “What does she mean?” 

“Last Christmas you and Lindsey argued over lights,” Your father said slowly, carefully. Too carefully. “It turned into a fight about how much you detest her favorite holiday. How you refuse to… bend. You walked out, and never came back,” 

“She blames herself,” You filled in easily. 

“She’s struggling,” He agreed. “She can barely find the energy to leave her bed, and when she does, well she’s just not the same. They came close to losing her too, and they’ll come close again tonight,” 

Your entire being froze. 

That couldn’t be true. Lindsey wouldn’t- 

You shook your head, shoving yourself to your feet and turning on your father. “You’re lying to me,” 

He held his hands up in defense, his long chain clinking as he took a step back from you, but you weren’t having it. 

“What? No comment?” You hissed, unbridled anger bubbling in your chest. How dare he try and tell you that Lindsey lost her love for Christmas. That she would ever- you couldn’t even think of the word. 

Your father shook his head, taking another step back, but you took the step with him. You had too much rage. Too much anger to stop. 

“Momma,” The little girl's voice said softly, hesitantly, and it was like an instant balm to your hot rage. 

You couldn’t help but turn back toward it, noticing that Emily and Tyler were already walking back towards where their care should be, kneeling so you were eye level with her. “Yes, baby?” 

“I know you don’t like Christmas,” She started, her little hands shaking as she reached into her puffy pink jacket, pulling out a toy Christmas tree with a little smiling face. “But Mama says no one should be alone. Mr. Tree will keep you company,” 

“Come on Anna,” Tyler called. 

The girl nodded. She placed the tree next to the bouquet, and carefully pushed herself to her feet. “Merry Christmas Momma,” 

With that, she sprinted away. 

“Merry Christmas baby,”

Your words hung in the air, even if you knew no one could hearthem. 

You didn’t care. 

You couldn’t allow this to be the future. You couldn’t allow your kids or Emily to lose you and Lindsey before either of them could even qualify for a u15 tournament. You couldn’t let Lindsey lose her joy. Not like you had lost yours. 

“Take me back,” You demanded, again shoving yourself up and turning to face him, running your sleeve over your wet eyes “Now! This will not be my future,” 

He held his hands up again, the chains hanging heavily from his wrists. “This is your future,” 

“For now!” You yelled back. 

You would not allow it to be your future. You would pretend to love Christmas if you had to, or let Lindsey put up god knows how many lights up if that is what it took. 

“Pretending to like a holiday isn’t enough to change it” “Your father said, equally as forcefully. 

“Then what is?!” You snapped back, desperation clear in your voice. 

You could not let Lindsey face that fate. You couldn’t let Emily lose both of you.

Your father shook his head. “Ebenezer Scrooge’s vice was greed and his greatest fear was being forgotten. Your vice is pain, and your fear is that others will be forced to suffer with you. You have to learn to let them in. Learn that letting them help you isn't a weakness. That letting go isn’t betraying your mother and Tyler,” 

You stepped back as though you had been slapped, but your father wasn’t done. 

“I forced you to suffer not because we shared grief, but because I couldn’t move past mine. Do not make the same mistakes that I did,” His voice shook as he spoke, and it cut straight to your soul. 

The same words Tyler and ghost Kelley had said to you. 

“I-“ The words got stuck in your mouth, even if you weren’t sure exactly what they were. 

“Change,” Your father said seriously, his hand falling heavily on your shoulder and his cloudy eyes piercing into yours. “Your fate deserves better than mine,” 

You swallowed hard, frowning as a familiar tune floated its way through the air. 

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time. 

*******

You sucked in an icy breath as you jerked away, your eyes flying wide as you scrambled to stay upright in your chair. 

“Holy shit,” 

Your voice was little more than a wheeze, and your fingers clawed at your chest in an attempt to slow your racing heart. 

It was all too much. 

“Where the fuck is a ghost now when I need help calming down,” You muttered cynically, glancing around your apartment. 

The 1996 World Cup final rolled across the screen, lighting up your couch and your blanket-covered feet. You could hear the cheer of the crowd, but it didn’t give you the same tingles that walking onto the pitch surrounded by them did, and simply having a wonderful Christmas time blasting from the floor above you. 

You looked to your left, counting the beer bottles. One, two, you paused. Nestled just behind the 3rd was a small, plastic Christmas tree that wasn’t there before. 

The only proof that your night was more than just a beer-induced dream. Proof that it was real. 

You reached for it, turning him over in your hand so his smiling face looked up at you. 

“Hi mister tree,” You said softly, your finger running over his wide smile. It filled you with warmth.“You’re right, no one should be alone on Christmas,” 

You glanced up at the clock, frowning at the bright 9:30 still blinking at you. You were sure it had been midnight when you went to bed. You were sure that… you shook your head. It didn’t matter, not now. 

You opened your phone, calling for an Uber, taking a deep breath. 

You could do this. 

You pushed yourself to your feet, the tree clutched tightly in your hand as you pulled on your jacket, scarf, and hat. 

You still had time to change your fate. 

*****

Your fingers twisted in your beanie as you stood in front of Kelley’s apartment door. 

You had never felt more nervous in your entire life. Not when you were waiting to play the World Cup, or when you were getting ready for your first PK shootout. 

You weren’t sure why you had taken your hat off of your head. You weren’t sure why you were so worked up, but you were. 

You had been invited, even if you turned it down. They were your friends, they wouldn’t shut the door on you, even if that’s what you deserved. 

You closed your eyes letting the soft sounds of you’re a mean one Mr. Grinch wash over you for a long second before slowly lifting your hand and knocking on the door. 

There was a rustle behind the door, the sound of the music turning down, and you couldn’t help but twist your beanie again. 

You had interrupted them. You considered walking away, but you didn’t have time before the door slowly swung open. 

“Speak of the grinch and she shall appear,” You mumbled, shooting the defender a shy smile. “I uh… I wasn’t sure if your invite still stood, but um…” 

“Come on,” Kelley smiled widely at you interrupting your rambling, her hand landing on your shoulder and she squeezed gently. “You’re always invited,” 

You bobbed your head, swallowing hard and allowing her to guide you into the living room. “I uh.. didn’t bring anything for the secret Santa,” 

“Don’t worry about it,” She hummed, taking your coat. “You being here is enough,” 

Her hands still sent a shiver down your spine. A reminder of ghost Kelley, and her harsh words. 

“As long as you’re sure,” You said, showing More vulnerability than you normally would. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” She sent you another soft smile, shaking her head. “Everyone is in the living room. I’ll even get you a-“

“Fireball Manhattan,” You finished, already moving towards the room. 

Her head tilted to the side as she trailed after you. “How did you know that was the surprise drink this year?” 

You shrugged. “Just a hunch,” 

“Good hunch,” She hummed suspiciously. “Look who I found,” 

She gestured towards you as you entered the living room. 

The team paused for a split second as if they couldn’t believe you had actually come before you were being surrounded. 

“Hey, Scrooge does have a heart,” 

“Glad you could come down from mount crumpet,” 

Your cheeks flamed as Christen pulled you into a tight hug and Tobin patted your back. “Lindsey and Em are gonna be so excited,” 

You let the hug go on, glancing for the two aforementioned women. “Where are they?”

“Linds wanted some water,” Christen said, kissing the side of your head, and you wilted slightly. 

That meant that they knew why you didn’t like Christmas. The team had already told them. Lindsey had already gotten upset. 

“Em followed her into the kitchen,” Tobin said, tilting her head towards the door. “Just be careful of hiding mistletoe,” 

You nodded, and Christen patted you towards the kitchen. You waved towards Alex, Megan, Sue and the youngins before pushing your way into the kitchen. 

You knew the scene that you were walking into to. You had already seen it, but that didn’t change how it made your heart clench to see Emily wrapped around Lindsey’s back, her chin resting on her shoulder. 

“Maybe we can head over to her apartment after tomorrow, and bring her Thai food or something. It’ll be like a tradition of our own,”

“I think that sounds amazing,” You answered, leaning on the counter. “Drunken noodles are my favorite,” 

Their heads whipped around to face you, and a breathtaking smile broke across Lindsey’s face.

“You came,”

You shifted uncomfortably against the counter. “my game got kinda boring,” 

Emily hummed, pushing herself off of Lindsey and taking a step towards you. “No other reason?”

Red painted itself across your cheeks, and you scratched the back of your neck. “I uh. I also wanted to make sure the two of you were safe tonight, and I wanted to spend time with you,” 

“You’re cute,” Emily smirked, holding her hands out and pulling you into a careful hug.

You leaned into it, burying your nose in her shoulder before Lindsey pulled you into her instead. 

“We got you a present if you want it,” She said softly into your hair. 

You gulped again. You hadn’t exchanged presents since your mother died. “I didn’t get you guys anything, really. 

Lindsey pulled back, her dimples showing. “You brought you, and that’s all I wanted for Christmas,” 

“I’ll go grab it, you two stay put,” Emily said from behind you, and you heard the sound of the door. 

“I’m not very good at this,” You admitted. 

Lindsey’s smile widened, her dimples getting deeper as she ran a careful thumb over your cheek. “You’re doing alright so far,” 

You nodded, swallowing at the sound of the door and Emily’s warmth returning behind you. She passed a small, thin gift over your shoulder and you took it gingerly, staring down at the bright red paper. 

“This is called a present,” Emily jested. “You’re supposed to rip it open,” 

“I know that,” You mumbled, thumbing the corner of the paper. “I just-“ 

“Just say thank you,” Lindsey said instead, her thumb-stopping the word on your lip. 

You nodded. “Thank you,” 

“You’re welcome,” Lindsey hummed, nudging your cheek with her nose. “Now open it,” 

You nodded, your thumb catching the edge of the paper and slowly tearing it away. Your breath caught at the sight of red and white fabric. It was soft against your fingers and the sight alone was enough to bring tears to your eyes. 

“We know Arsenal is your favorite team,” Emily said slowly.

“So we thought a new beanie might be a good idea,” Lindsey finished, worrying her bottom lip. 

“It’s perfect,” 

It came out of your mouth before you could stop it, watery and vulnerable, but you felt safe nestled between these two women. 

“I um-“ You awkwardly ran your finger over the Arsenal logo of the red and white hat, tracing the little cannon. The same cannon you had given your brother. The same one he had pulled on his head the last time you saw him. “I don’t know a lot about Christmas, but I want to learn if you’re willing to teach me?” 

“Well, our favorite tradition is the mistletoe,” Emily said, and you could hear her smirk in her tone as she pointed towards the ceiling. “Traditionally you kiss when you're under it,” 

You chuckled, tilting your head as Lindsey leaned in and pressed a very soft kiss to your lips. It took your brain a second to catch up, but you reciprocated as soon as you did, leaning into her as she pulled away. Chasing her lips. 

Emily hummed, catching your chin and pulling you away from Lindsey and towards her, connecting your lips. 

“I think I could get used to these traditions,” 

You still weren’t sure exactly where you stood on Christmas, but what you did know was that you wanted these women with you as you figured it out. You wanted to give them everything. You were ready to let them in. 

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #soran x reader #soran imagine