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#kelly you always get involved!
phxntomsdusk · 3 months
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My forever - Will x GN!Reader
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summary: you never planned on falling for your best friend, but you don’t regret it<3
warnings: none<3
tags: @ax-y10 (ask to be added)
word count: 2k
You and Wilbur had been friends forever. Meeting in primary school, and clicking almost instantly. Nobody could separate you two even if they tried, you were glued at the hip.
Of course, challenges came along the way. Friend group fallouts, family problems, summertime depression, etc. but you two always had each other, no matter what. And of course, with every cliche friendship, feelings got involved.
It started with the simple questions you received in the hallways. “Are you dating?” “Are you two a thing?” It was a constant reminder that everyone would assume you and him were together, even if you were just really close.
But it made you question yourself, could you ever date him? You always said he was your other half, the person you could always go to. You would never discuss it with him, it was saved for your journal to rant and curse out all of your emotions and thoughts.
You didn’t know Wilbur was doing the same thing, questioning himself every time he caught himself staring at you got a bit too long. How could he not stare? He was best friends with the most beautiful person he had ever met. But of course, he didn’t dare make a move.
Eventually, it became obvious to your friends that the two of you had a thing for one another, and they came up with a plan that just had to work.
Every weekend everyone would meet at your friend Chris’s treehouse, but this time, they would all find a way to leave you two alone with the lingering topic left for you to discuss.
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“Hey, guys!” Your friend Kelly smiled widely at you and Will, helping you get inside the treehouse door and allowing you to sit on the small makeshift couch in the corner. Will joined after you, taking his spot right next to yours, and wrapping an arm over your shoulder like he always did. “Graduation is, like, a few weeks away. That’s insane.”
Your attention was brought to Chris, nodding at his words. “I know, right? We’ve all known each other for nearly 10 years at this point. We’re so old.” You earned a laugh from Will before he spoke up and leaned forward, moving his arm around your back. “Exactly. We’ll all be heading off to uni in a few months too, well, maybe not Zach.”
Your friend, Zach, let out an offended gasp. He was known as the dumbest one in your group, mostly because he had failed all of his classes through all of high school, yet somehow passed the year. “I definitely will get into uni! I’m going to Harvard.” He scowled at Will, earning an even louder laugh from him.
“As if, you’d be better off getting a job as a janitor for Harvard,” Chris spoke up with a teasing smile, before looking over at you and Will with a knowing look. “Guys, when do you think we’ll all get married?”
The question struck you with confusion. Why would he be talking about marriage? He didn’t even have a girlfriend, let alone someone to marry. “Why do you ask? I mean, I’d hope to get married by around 25, I don’t wanna be in my 30’s.” You shrugged and leaned back into Will’s hold, watching as he nodded in agreement.
“25 is a good age. But with the way I want to get into music, I may be touring by then. I’m telling you now, I’m gonna be famous.” He smiled and looked down at you, running his hand up and down your arm. “I bet Will and Y/N will get hitched by 21,” Kelly spoke up with a grin, giggling under her breath.
It took you back, both you and Will. Did they all think you were dating too? Sure, you were being touchy, but this was how your friendship worked. But they thought you would get together?
“Me and Y/N? Are you crazy?” Will’s words slightly hurt, earning a frown from you as you simply nodded. “Maybe not crazy. Just delusional.” You smiled at him, sitting up and resting your head against the back of the ‘couch’.
Chirs and Zach looked at each other with the same knowing look, before announcing they had to leave for a moment. You were confused as they got up, climbed down the ladder, and rushed inside of Chris’s house. Kelly soon joined them, leaving you and Will all alone.
The silence was eating at you, wanting to speak up and say something, but not knowing what to say. Until he spoke up for you.
“Could you see a future with me?” He looked at you with a curious and hopeful expression, almost as if he wanted you to say yes. You had never thought of it before, but now that you were, you definitely could. “I mean, yeah. Can you?” He thought for a moment, smiling and nodding at you. “Yeah. I can.”
The two of you sat in silence for a bit longer, simply smiling at yourselves. “Wanna go on a date? To try and test it out, maybe?” You looked back at him, a light blush on both of your faces. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
It was settled. You and Wilbur were attempting a date.
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About a week had passed, and it was nerve-racking, you didn’t want to get too dressed up or be too underdressed. Should you do your hair? Makeup? Wear special jewelry? Would he even notice? He was taking you to the movies, why did any of this matter so much to you?
You settled on a simple band t-shirt, jeans, converse, and a necklace he had gifted you on a previous birthday of yours. It was a simple yet good enough outfit for a date.
He picked you up at around 6 pm, he always said nighttime movies were the best, and he wasn’t wrong at all. You were going to see Spider-Man, his choice of course. You were lucky he had enough cash on him to get popcorn and some drinks, even getting you a box of your favorite candy, because who doesn’t love overpriced candy?
“I never thought I’d be taking my best friend on a date. Especially one of the most cliche dates in history.” He spoke as you two entered the theater, sitting towards the back and getting comfy. “Me neither. I bet our friends are happy.” You smiled at him, taking a bit of the popcorn from the hun he held. “Oh. Before I picked you up Chris called me and gave me tips on how to kiss.”
The simple comment made your cheeks flush for a second, Chris expected you two to kiss? It wasn’t like you’ve never kissed anyone, you just never kissed someone this close to you. “Really? He’s a huge dreamer. I swear his dreams are more unrealistic than Zach getting into Harvard.”
Will laughed at your comment, and you noticed how pretty he seemed to truly be. The ways the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled, the way his dimples would become extra visible whenever he smiled at you. Were you falling for him?
“You’re staring.” He commented quietly before his attention was brought to the lights being shut off and the intro playing for the movie. He wasn’t wrong, you had been staring. “No, I wasn’t.” Denial was the best plan at this point.
It was silent for the most part, besides the movie, but there was an awkward tension between you two. It was like you knew something but wouldn’t tell the other.
Your eyes were locked on the screen, occasionally laughing or commenting on a scene, but mostly sitting in silence. Until he spoke up.
“Wanna head to our spot after this?” He looked at you with a smile, one that somehow made your heart melt. By his spot he meant the parking garage at your local mall, the top had been blocked off due to the concrete beginning to give out in certain areas. “Yeah, I’m down.”
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And of course, that’s where you went. The two of you sat on the hood of his car, staring up at the darkening sky as you spoke about anything and everything.
“Do you ever think the stars could, maybe, help find your soulmate?” He blurted out randomly, followed by a laugh. “Like, when you meet your soulmate, imagine if you saw your initials in the stars. That would be so cool!” You simply laughed along with him, shaking your head at his behavior. “You’re so weird.”
A comfortable silence fell on the both of you, you hadn’t even noticed he started to stare at you. It wasn’t weird or creepy, it was comforting and sweet. His gaze was soft, one of his hands gently grabbing ahold of yours. You moved your head to look over at him, meeting his gaze and smiling lightly.
There was a feeling between you two, you both felt it. But it wasn’t foreign, it had been the same feeling you’d developed over the last 10 years of knowing him. You two were in love with each other and didn’t even realize it.
“I think I need to be honest with you.” His words were quiet, and he adjusted his posture for a second and sat up. “Y/N, I think I’m in love with you.” He looked at you with a worried yet hopeful look, almost like he wanted you to say the same.
Did you feel the same? Well, he was almost always the first thought when you woke up. You would fall asleep on a call with him, making sure he was the last person you spoke to before sleeping. Maybe you did love him.
“I think I love you too.” Your voice was equally quiet, the two of you sharing a knowing look before he slowly leaned in and gently kissed you. It only lasted a few moments, but it was still meaningful. “Did Chris’s advice pay off?” He spoke in a joking tone, earning a laugh and nod from you. “Definitely.”
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One week. One entire week since you two kissed.
Today was graduation day, you had barely seen him during the week of your schedules not lining up. Your cap and gown paired nicely with your outfit somehow, a smile on your face the entire day.
The ceremony was short and sweet, at least when you weren’t paying attention. Hearing your name be announced, earning your diploma, getting that final handshake. It was unbelievable. You were practically on autopilot during the entire thing.
It wasn’t very memorable until it was over. Everyone meets up with their family and friends afterward, getting congratulated for making it through the entire year. And then you spotted him.
Will was stood off to the side, awkwardly messing with his cap string before looking up to meet your gaze. A wide smile appeared on his featured, rushing over to wrap his arms around you.
“Y/N! I’m so proud of you.” He smiled widely at you, before pulling you into a sweet kiss. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, smiling into his kiss for a moment until the two of you parted. “I’m proud of you too, Will.” You two didn’t bother to even find your families, simply basking in each other's arms at the moment.
He continued to admire you, placing a hand on the side of your face and running his thumb over your cheekbone. “Can I say something kind of cheesy?” He smiled lightly, earning a nod from you.
“Y/N. I want you to be my forever.”
Your heart melted almost immediately at his words, letting out an audible ‘awe’ as you leaned up and hugged him closely. “You’re so cute.” You mumbled against his shoulder, smiling to yourself as you felt his arms firmly wrap around you.
“I mean it, I love you.” He whispered in your ear, planting a kiss on the side of your temple. He loved you, he did. You looked up at him with a lovesick expression, “I love you too, Will.”
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chrisdr3 · 8 days
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Last minute confessions ~ OP81
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Fluff and a bit of embarrassment
Summary: In the drivers' dinner in Abu Dhabi, Y/N is forced to confess her crush to Oscar and vice versa.
The 2023 season came to an end with max winning the last race, making it the most dominant season in F1. After that, everyone decided to have dinner in the same restaurant you did last year, but not for saying farewell to someone. You just liked it and wanted to do it again.
Everyone was already at the restaurant, waiting for you. Some of them started to get a bit irritated of waiting. Fernando saw that and decided to talk. "Don't worry guys, you know Y/N, she's probably late because she always wants to look gorgeous for this kind of events." He smiled.
By the time he stopped talking, you entered the restaurant and approached the drivers' table. You had your hair down, some mascara, eyeliner and lipstick applied and you were wearing this. "Hello guys, sorry for being late." You smiled. "It's okay Y/N, you look stunning by the way." Daniel said.
You sat down in the remaining seat in between Daniel and Oscar. After a bit, everyone turned back to normal. They continued discussing, sometimes involving you in their convos. Except from Oscar. He was blushing slightly and wasn't taking part in any of the conversations.
You didn't really mind, as you knew pretty well that oscar didn't talk very much anyways and that he was more of an introverted type of guy. The dinner was going pretty well, and the food arrived quickly. You ate and after everyone finished, all the drivers decided to stay a bit longer and maybe have a drink.
Suddenly, Lando came up with the idea of asking everyone about their love life. Checo, Nico and K-Mag were married with kids , so they didn't bother replying, Max said he was doing fine with Kelly, Lando, Lance, Logan and Esteban claimed being still single, Lewis didn't bother to find anyone yet, Valterri and Fernando didn't answer, even tho there were rumours about them being seen with women.
There were 9 drivers left, including you and Oscar. Zhou didn't answer, as he was talking to the phone, everyone knew that Pierre and Alex were doing really good with Kika and Lily because of their posts on social media, so they just confirmed it. Carlos didn't want to give any info, just that he's doing pretty decent with Rebecca, George was okay with Carmen and Charles said that Alexandra was waiting for him to get back to Monaco.
After Charles stopped talking, Daniel was asked. He answered that he was more than great with Heidi and that they were planning to go at his family's house in Perth for the holidays. Then, only you and Oscar were left. "Y/N, what's going on with your love life? Are you with someone, are you crushing on anyone?" Lando asked, a smirk plastered in his face.
You blushed, embarrassed. How were you going to tell it? All the drivers turned to look at you. You were getting hotter and redder with every single second passing. "Come on, tell us!" Daniel said. You didn't respond. "Okay, I'll help you. Are you crushing on someone?" Max intervened, his voice calm. You nodded yes. "Is it someone from here?" Max continued. "Y-yes..." "Can you tell us who?" "N-no."
Max stopped, thinking for a bit. "Then we'll play a little game." "Okay..." "Is he blond or brunette?" "Brunette." "So it's not K-Mag, Nico or Valterri." "Yes." "Is he European?" "No." "So, that means we're left with Lance, Logan, Checo, Zhou, Daniel and Oscar." "Right." "Is he from America?" "No." "Then there's Daniel, Zhou and Oscar left. It's not Zhou, am I right?" "You're right." "So there ar the two Aussies left."
"It's Oscar..." You mumbled, looking at your feet, face red as a tomato. Then Oscar turned to look at you, blushing, rubbing the back of his neck a bit embarrassed. "Y/N..." He spoke, breaking the silence. You turned your face to look at him. "I-i like you too Y/N..." You looked at him, smiling a bit. He cupped your face with his hands and kissed you gently. After a little, he pulled back, blushing. "S-sorry..." You slid your hand in his under the table. "It's fine."
Everyone applauded for you and then left you to talk, discussing about other things. "Oscar..." You whispered. "Yes?" "Do you wanna be my boyfriend?" He squeezed your hand gently. "Yes."
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sunny44 · 9 months
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Unveiling the Truth
(Ruin it part.2)
Pairing: Max Verstappen x journalist!reader
Warnings: none I guess.
Summary: You and max were always teasing each other and over the years it turned into a huge sexual tension, until the fights of all the years and the accumulated lust turned into one long night of great sex.
Previous chapter | Next chapter
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After that night Max and I never talked about it again. He went on pretending that nothing had happened and so did I but the fact that I was part of his betrayal is what haunts me every day.
Ok I don't like Kelly but I did something I wouldn't want to be done to me so I feel bad.
We were at the last race of the year and it was a weekend she was here which didn't help my guilt at all.
"Are you okay?" Pierre asks slipping his arm around my shoulders giving me a hug.
"Not much."
"Do you want to talk?"
"If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone?" He agrees and I pull him into a corner. "Max and I had sex."
"WHAT?" He screams and I cover his mouth with my hand. "What?"
"That's exactly what you heard."
"How?"
"Do you really want me to explain how?"
"Ew that's not what I meant. I mean how did it happen?"
"It was after the third title celebration party, I took him back to the hotel and we fucked in my room."
"My God I've been trying to get you into bed for years and you never wanted to."
"Is that really what you're thinking about right now?"
"Of course, that lucky bastard."
"Pierre I'm serious, stop thinking about me naked on top of you and concentrate."
"Now that you've said that I won't be able to concentrate."
"Forget it." I walk away annoyed and he comes right behind me but Max sees us and I know he's imagining that we did the same thing he and I did at the hotel.
...
I was walking past Redbull at night with the paddock already empty when one of the engineers asked me to go into the garage and when I did he directed me to Max's drivers room where he was inside.
"What is it?"
"May I ask what you were doing with Pierre in the corner?"
"And why does that interest you?"
"Just answer the damn question." He says irritated.
"We were talking."
"The same way you and I talked that night?"
"Where's your girlfriend anyway?"
"That doesn't matter."
"It does matter since I know she's here this weekend."
"Forget Kelly okay? Can we talk about us?"
"There is no us, that was a mistake and you shouldn't be so calm about the fact that you cheated on your girlfriend and that I helped you do it."
"I'm only calm because I don't feel the same way about her as I do about you." At this I fell silent. "She doesn't make me feel angry and want to grab you and kiss you at the same time, she doesn't make me feel good after a bad race even if I only see you in those 5 minutes of interview and she doesn't understand me like you understand do."
"Max..."
"Just say you don't feel the same way about me and I’ll pretend the best night of my life never happened and leave you alone.”
"I don't know." He takes his hands away from my face. "I never thought of you as anything other than the guy I keep picking on."
"And I'll never be anything else to you?"
"Not until you sort out your situation with her." He sighs. "I won't allow myself to feel anything for you or try to have anything with you while you're committed."
"And after that?"
"After that we're going to have to talk, because like it or not you cheated on her and as much as I was the bitch who helped you do it and that I deserve it to happen to me too, I don't want to be the next on your list."
"You're never going to be just anyone on my list, you're not even on the list, you're completely superior to anyone I've ever been involved with in my life."
"Don't say that if you don’t really mean it."
"I was serious about everything I just said."
"Okay then go find me when you sort yourself out."
...
It had been a month since our conversation and Max hadn't said anything else so I understood that he had moved on with Kelly.
Charles and Pierre had invited me to go on a trip together and as I had nothing better to do I decided to go along.
I packed all my things and my cell phone started ringing and I saw that Pierre was calling so I didn't even answer it, I just locked my apartment and went down the elevator with my things, to my surprise when I got downstairs Max was with them and smiled when he saw me.
"I didn't know you were going."
"Yeah, last minute plans."
"We're going by jet." Pierre says kissing my forehead and hugging me from the side.
"What about our tickets?"
"They don't exist, I lied because I knew that if you knew max would be along you would have given up on going."
"Good that you know me." I say putting my bag in the trunk of the car and getting in the back seat.
The walk to the runway was complete silence on my part, I was annoyed that he had ignored me all this time and now he showed up here on a trip he knew I would be on.
The boys were excited and got on the plane before me and Max who grabbed my arm as soon as the two had left my sight.
"Can you let me go?"
"Can you stop being rude to me?"
"And why should I? It wasn't enough that you ignored me and went on this trip together to annoy me and now what? Kelly is going to show up there too."
"No because we broke up."
"What?"
"I broke up with her like I told you I would and I only ignored you because I was helping her moving her stuff out of my apartment. I had to hire a moving truck to take P's stuff to her place too.”
"You could have texted you saying that."
"I know and I'm sorry, it wasn't a quiet break up and I just needed time.”
"It's okay." He let go of my arm. "Let's go before they notice we're late."
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Taglist: @44-ilton @babyvinnie @hockey-racing-fubol @xjval @xcinnamongirl @dudenhaaa27 @evans-dejong @chelseagirl98
Ps: this will have a part 3
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Crushed 15
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, cheating, sleazy behaviour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your next door neighbours hook up, bringing to surface deep-seated feelings.
Characters: Colin Shea, Jonathan Pine
Note: Please scream at me!
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
Love you like my dog loves belly rubs (that’s a lot). Take care. 💖
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After an early morning phone call, your mother insists on coming to town for lunch. You couldn't bear to tell her everything over the phone and frankly, you don't know how much you should tell her. You remember in high school when you were sent home after Kelly Harris dumped mud in your lap, your mother was more irritated to have you home than empathetic. 
You watch through the peephole before you sneak out. You haven't slept but you can't be sure Colin hasn't returned. There's enough noise in the building that it's hard to discern who's coming or going. 
When you do emerge, you flit quickly to the first floor and dip out, looking over your shoulder for either Colin or his vengeful girlfriend. You get through the lobby without trouble but you're not in the clear. Surely the day holds nothing but trouble, regardless of where it comes from.
You check the time as you wait for the cab. You refer to the text your mother sent before she set out and give the driver the name of the restaurant. You've never been there before and you're certain it's well out of your price range. Another debt for the tally.
This is the last thing you ever wanted. It makes all this drama seem all the more ridiculous. You’re a grown woman and this is what you’ve come to. Back to square one.
You approach the restaurant doors and enter with a sheepish grin. You don’t know that you own anything that wouldn’t be underdressed for this bougie brunch locale. Once more, you look at your phone. Crap, she’s there first. That means you're late even if you agreed on nine.
The hostess shows you to the table where your mother waits. She has her compact out as she touches up her mauve lipstick. She doesn’t acknowledge you or the hostess as you sit. She snaps shut the mirror and sips from her stemmed glass of orange juice.
“About time,” she drawls, “oh, and nice to hear from you after all these months.”
Her eyes finally deign to land on you. You gulp. You should’ve taken the chance of talking to your father but ultimately you know it’s not up to him.
“You’ve been so busy with Geri’s wedding–”
“Don’t try to guilt me for your neglect,” she warns, “you should be happy for your sister. Her fiance is a charming man. You’ve met Colton, haven’t you?”
“Once or twice,” you grumble. Family get togethers weren’t exactly your favourite memories. “I’ve been waiting on my invite–”
“Invite? You’re a bridesmaid. Geri sent out that email months ago. Is this why you weren’t at the fitting?”
“I didn’t… I didn’t get an email.”
“You’re wrong. Certainly, you must be. You and the rest of the girls are bridesmaids. You have to be. And it might be good for you to be involved in a wedding at least once,” she tuts. You don’t miss the jibe. Yeah, not like you have much hope of walking down the aisle.
“I’ll… I’ll call Geri and clear things up,” you say, “how are the others?”
“Well, Maeve is graduating this year. Always exciting. She’s thinking of joining Audrey at her alma mater. And Livia is somewhere in Spain again.”
“Ah, yeah, she sent me some pictures,” you say.
“And you? What are you up to?” She challenges. She’s not genuinely curious.
“Well,” you take a breath, pausing as a server comes to ask what you’d like to drink. You get the same as your mother and peruse the menu.
“Well…” your mother prompts.
“Yeah, um, I…” you shake your head, you can’t even look at her, “I am on leave from work so… not much.”
“Leave? What does that mean?” She hisses.
You feel your eyes tinge. You look at her. Why is she so different to you? Your other sisters can spill all their worries and whims but you, it’s always judgment. You can never do anything right.
“Uh, I thought maybe it might be a good time to–”
“Ah, pardon,” you’re interrupted before you can sputter out the revelation of another failure. You cringe as you recognise Jonathan’s silky lilt. Why? How? Do you even dare questioning fate anymore? “I just, I had to say hello.”
You force a smile and look at him, trying not to falter in front of your mother’s all-seeing gaze. She sits up, and lets out a hum of surprise as she sees Johnathan. Her lashes give a telling flick.
“Hello?” She utters quizzically.
“This must be one of your sisters,” he says as he runs his hand up the sleek lapel of his blue jacket, “very pleased to finally meet you.”
“Sister? Oh, do not flatter me. I am her mother, Eugenia,” she introduces herself with a smug smirk, “and how do you know each other?”
“Uh, oh,” you stutter and send Jonathan a desperate look. Do you tell her you’re his disgraced former employee? Or maybe just business acquaintance. She’s going to know eventually, that’s why you’re here. “Jonathan is–”
“Jonathan Pine,” he introduces himself, “honoured to finally meet you.” He looks at you, arching a brow before turning his attention back to his mother, “you both must be so excited for your elder daughter’s upcoming nuptials?”
“British?” She intones with intrigue.
“You’ve caught me out,” he grins, “your daughter’s been rather helpful in getting me acquainted with this country. Very lovely…” he peeks at you again, “hardly as lovely as her. You’ve raised a rather endearing daughter.”
“You…” she blinks in confusion, sending you another flabbergasted peek, “you and my daughter…” she lets the suggestion hang. Jonathan does too as he gives you an option; come clean or take the bait.
“I was waiting to introduce you at the wedding,” you blurt out, “I… it’s new.” You say, each word jarring as the lies piece themselves together on your tongue, “and I thought,” you look at Jonathan pointedly, “he was out of town.”
“Business trip was canceled, rescheduled to a business breakfast,” he slithers, “I’m meeting Gerry soon,” he checks his watch, “but I will be sure to tell the hostess to put your bill with mine.”
“Oh–” you squeak.
“Oh my,” your mother trills, “you are too kind. That is…” she gapes at you openly, “you… you’re with my daughter. Her?”
He chuckles lightly, “why wouldn’t I be with such a beautiful woman?”
“I didn’t mean– I don’t– I’m very surprised,” she exclaims shrilly, “she never mentioned, but then again, she’s always been so private. So shy. And you seem like such a lovely man.”
“I like to think so, but please, she is not the lucky one,” he preens and steps towards you. He places his hand on your shoulder and bends, grazing his lips across your cheek, “go with it,” he whispers. 
You turn your head just as his lips aim for yours. He kisses you and the air leaves the room. Your chest ties tight and your entire body tingles. Oh, wow. You’re too swept up in the sensation of his unexpected kiss that you can’t remember why you were so off-kilter a moment ago.
“Now let me not interrupt further. A mother-daughter reunion,” he puts his hand to his chest, “how sweet.”
He backs away and dips his chin. He turns on his heel and crosses the restaurant as you stare after him. The server approaches and sets your drink in front of you. You drink it in the silence of your mother’s disbelief.
“Well, you’ve done finely,” she says in a stunted cadence, “I… he’s so handsome. And tall. And blond!”
“Mom,” you plead as you nearly choke on the orange juice.
“Well. Even you must realise he’s very… dashing as they’d say in his home country,” she flutters her lashes dreamily, “oh, yes, you must bring him to the wedding. He’ll look wonderful in the photos.”
You wet your lips with your tongue and nod. You look down at the table, still buzzing as your lips warm up. You can’t stop thinking about that kiss. It nips away at the anger that kept you up all night, but hardly solves your anxiety.
You can’t tell your mother you expect to be evicted in the next month or that you lost your job. So what now? How do you untangle the knot that only grows bigger and bigger?
💗
For once, your time with your mom is less than torturous. She keeps her barbs dull enough to leave you only bruised. Her mood is a touch above neutral, which for you, is an accomplishment. You’re content but not entirely at ease. You have a lot to figure out.
You bid her goodbye just outside the patio seating and wave to her as she unlocks her luxury car. You watch until you see her get in and let out a sigh. Shit. Not only do you have Jonathan to worry about, but you don’t expect Colin to be AWOL much longer.
So what do you do? Go home and face the music or call Jonathan and try not to melt into a puddle of embarrassment. It was a nice favour of him to pretend but you don’t want to assume anything. High hopes and stupid girlish fantasies got you into all this.
As you walk along the curb, a short toot draws you to a stop. You turn as the whir of a car window steals your attention and you face the familiar car. Jonathan leans over the passenger seat to see you.
“You’re not going to run away again, are you?” He asks.
You twist your heel into the pavement and bend down. You furrow your brows as that big question needles between them. You can’t lie anymore, you can’t just wait for the truth to come out, you just have to ask.
“How did you know I was here?”
His brows lift and his eyes roll to the side. He gives a guilty grin, “I hope you don’t… misinterpret it but I… staked out your building.”
“What?” You puff out.
“Yes, I know, it sounds very bad. And I won’t claim it was entirely sane but I wanted to see the police take him away after I filed the report. To be sure you were safe and then… I sat stuck in my own head. Wanting to run up those stairs and knock on your door but also terrified you wouldn’t answer,” he shrugs, “and I followed you because I worried you might run into him, but that’s only half the reason…”
You swallow and step closer, “Jonathan, what are you doing?”
“Being crazy,” he lowers his eyes bashfully, “I know, you don’t need two madmen after you.”
You shake your head and reach for the handle. You open the door and get in. He sits back, watching you as you move your purse into your lap. You stare at the dashboard.
“What is going on?” You turn your head and look into his beautiful blue eyes, “what is this?”
“I don’t…” he begins.
“You’re my boss.”
“I was.”
“I never should’ve dragged you into this–”
“I’m so happy you did,” he murmurs.
“Jonathan, please,” you beg, “it’s not right–”
“You quit,” he insists, “so what isn’t right?”
You pout and sit back, turning straight and looking up at the upholstered ceiling of the car. You don’t know what to say. No, you don’t know how to say it. Except…
“I’m stupid.”
“What?” He scoffs.
“I’m stupid because… I’m scared and lost. And I can’t make you follow me through that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Feelings don’t just go, they just get complicated,” you explain, parsing through the stirring in your gut, “I hate Colin, I’m scared to hell of him, but I still… feel some of those things I felt.”
“Oh, but darling,” he reaches over and rests his hand above your shoulder, “I know feelings don’t just go. Mine certainly won’t.”
“Feelings? For me? Are you sure it’s not pity?”
“I only pity myself for how deeply I’ve fallen,” he breathes as you sense him leaning in, “the first day I saw you, I knew. I’ve never been much of a romantic but I have to confess something.”
“What?” You shy away, sensing how close he is.
“I knew how to use the coffee machine,” he admits, “I just needed an excuse.”
“You… did?” You look at him. He’s so much closer than you thought.
“Oh yes, if you hadn’t helped with the machine, I would’ve failed miserably in front of you at making copies. And if that didn’t work, well, I suppose I’d just have to make a mistake in my numbers,” he purrs, “you would’ve helped me, wouldn’t you?”
You quiver out a breath. You want to collapse into him, you want to let him make you forget everything but him, and yet, you’re so afraid. You’re afraid to believe that this could ever be real for you.
He doesn’t let your fear win. His lips are on yours again and that’s all you need. Nothing is left but that moment, the feeling of his mouth on yours, how his hand comes up to frame your jaw and cradle your cheek, his other creeping behind your head as he clings to you desperately. You can’t help by latching onto his collar, diving into his need.
You don’t stop until you're dizzy and breathless. He pulls back, hovering before you, thumb tracing your cheek bone as his other hand tickles your neck. His eyes search you, admire you, you’ve never been looked at like that.
“May I drive you home?” He asks softly, nuzzling your nose with his.
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themultifandomgal · 5 months
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Kelly Severide- 2 Years Ago
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2 years ago YN did something she never thought she'd do. A one night stand. YN had gone through a nasty divorce and went to Vegas. That's where she meet a very handsome man. At the time she had the name Kelly, that was it but it didn't matter because it's not like she was going to ever see him again, right? Wrong. 4 weeks later YN finds out she's pregnant. She knew she needed to find Kelly, but how? Does he even want to be involved? After months of looking YN's baby bump grew and grew and so she needed to start to focus on herself and her baby.
2 years on and YN saw him on TV, she would never forget that handsome face. She heard that he was part of firehouse 51 in Chicago.
So that is where she is right now. Stood outside the firehouse with her 1 year old boy balanced on her hip. Nervous she takes in a deep breath and walks into the fire house
"Can I help you?" a man named Matt Casey asks
"Erm yeah. Hi I'm YN I'm looking for Kelly"
"Come with me" YN follows the man further into the firehouse "Severide. You've got a visitor" that's when YN spots Kelly sat at a table playing cards. He looks up and immediately his eyes shift from YN to the baby on her hip
"Hi" is all YN can say.
To have a bit of privacy Kelly takes YN to his office, closing the door behind him. Kelly leans on his desk as YN stands in front of him
"Is he...."
"Yours? Yeah. I wanted you to have the choice to be part of his life, but I didn't know where to find you"
"How did you find me?"
"You were on TV. I recognised you so I got a flight here" there's a pause while Kelly rubs his face with his hands, obviously feeling a little stressed and confused. Once again he looks at the baby
"What's his name?"
"Jacob" again there's a small pause
"And he's definitely mine?"
"Yes. Your the only person I slept with around that time. I know this is a lot to take in so I'll give you some time to think about it, about whether you want to be in his life. Here.." YN reaches in her pocket for a piece of paper with her number on "call me or text me with your answer. I'm staying in Chicago for the week" Kelly takes her number then shows YN the way out of the fire house.
Walking back into the firehouse Kelly flops down at the lunch table with a sigh
"So who was that?" Capp asks
"A one night stand 2 years ago" Kelly replies looking at the number YN gave him
"And the kid?" Gabby asks
"Mine. She's giving me a choice to be part of his life. I just don't know how we're going to make this work. She doesn't live in Chicago and I don't want to move so how do I be a dad?"
"Look. You've wanted to be a dad for so long now. You and Shay never got the chance to. Maybe this is your opportunity. I say take it" Casey tells his friend
"If your both serious about this you'll figure something out" Sylvie says
"How did she even find you?" Herrmann asks and Kelly proceeds to tell him about the TV show.
Over the day, Kelly has YN and Jacob on his mind. Thinking about what to do, what was the right thing to do? In the end he settles on messaging YN, telling her he wants to be part of Jacobs life, but he isn't sure how it's going to work.
For YN she was always prepared to move to wherever Kelly was. Her life back at home wasn't worth her staying, having no friends or family, it was just her and Jacob. When she receives a message off Kelly her heart almost skips a beat, he wants to be Jacobs dad. Immediately YN calls him asking for them to meet up somewhere, which Kelly suggests Mollys. YN gets herself and Jacob ready and grabs a taxi to said bar where she sees Kelly nursing a beer in his hand. When he notices YN he stands up awkwardly going to give her a hug
"Erm thank you for meeting" YN says sitting down with Jacob on her lap
"So how is this going to work?"
"I'm happy to move here"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. I don't have anything back home waiting for me. My friends were my ex's friends and since I got pregnant he has been my life. I hate my job so if it means you can be a father to Jacob, I'll move"
"Before we met that night I was going through some shi... stuff. My best friend died, we were trying to have a baby together. That's why I was in Vegas"
"I'm sorry that happened, but now you have got a chance to be a father"
"I can't believe I'm actually a dad" he says looking at the baby
"You want to hold him?"
"Can I?" YN gives Kelly a smile before passing Jacob over to him "thank you, thank you for giving me this opportunity"
"Guess I best start looking for an apartment"
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visionofvoid · 1 year
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Homewrecker - MV1 Part Two
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Summary: “max, can you tell me the truth, just this once?”
Warnings: angst, moody max, jealous max, jealous kelly lolz 
Pairings: max verstappen x oc
Word Count: 1585
PART ONE  PART THREE 
Blake always enjoyed race weekends. If Kelly was busy with a shoot or meetings, Blake would look after Penelope for a couple of hours and the two would share pink and colourful snacks whilst watching the Formula One, whether it was practice, qualifying or the actual race. When Kelly had a free weekend and was choosing to visit Max and support him from the race itself, Blake would always come along for the ride. Sometimes it would just be the two girls childfree whilst Blake caught up with some of the friends she had made during her time as Kelly’s assistant or she would curate posts for Kelly on her social media. Though she did technically work for Kelly and knew her passwords to all her social media, her emails and some of financial info, it was never as if Kelly was her boss, they were just two friends enjoying life together. 
So, it came as a shock when Blake sat across from Kelly at a cafe and gave her the sad news. 
“I, I don’t understand. Do you need more money? I can give you more money. Did Penelope say something? Did my father say something?” Kelly questioned, making a spoon look elegant as she held it up, a little bit of cake sitting on it. Blake shook her head, smiling softly, thinking of reasons to give her friend and boss that didn’t involve her boyfriend. 
“I enjoy working alongside you, of course I do. I just think it’s time I move on from being a PA. I’ve had a few job offers and you know, I think this partnership has run its course.” Kelly pondered for a moment. “Of course I am absolutely grateful for the opportunity you have given me, but this is officially my notice. I finish up just before Silverstone, so I have about three weeks left to find you a new PA.” Blake couldn’t maintain proper eye contact and instead resorted to lifting her hot chocolate to her lips. 
“Job offers? From who?”
“Toto Wolff, at Mercedes. One of the PR advisors and I were talking at the last race and I just can’t stop thinking about it and it was a great offer.” Kelly’s eyebrows rose as she mentioned Max’s rival team but she remained stoic. 
“If you want a job in Formula One I can get Max to get you one at Red Bull.” The offer was kind but the mention of Max made Blake tighten her shoulders. “But, it is a great opportunity. I’m sad to see you leave, and I know Penelope will miss you too.”
The following months had been hell, that much was true. Whilst Blake was flourishing with Toto and Mercedes, travelling the world and relishing in the Formula One world, Max watched as Kelly’s world was failing. That may be a bit dramatic but the new personal assistant that Kelly had hired was way too under-qualified for the job. Not only did they not connect well with children but they had misplaced their VIP passes that allowed them access into the green rooms. 
It was stressful, and Max hated the fact that he missed Blake. He missed the bickering, he missed when she would bite back with insult after insult but made it sweet and funny that Kelly would laugh. He didn’t get to see Blake as often as he did when she still worked with Kelly and his world felt immensely different. He and Kelly hardly spoke unless it was at night off or one of them had a free day, but it was mostly due to the lack of experience on the new assistant behalf, or so he thought. 
Kelly found herself always comparing her new assistant to Blake and would vent to Max about how much both herself and her daughter missed Blake. Though they ended on good terms, Blake’s new position as Toto Wolff’s assistant meant less time to catch up with Kelly when they were in the same city. 
The 5th of September came around and it was time for the Dutch Grand Prix. Blake had finally settled into her new job as Toto Wolff’s assistant and she found herself getting along with everyone. She was the go to for advice for George and she enjoyed meditating with Lewis during her down time. The job wasn’t nearly as full on as Kelly’s, but she was busy a lot. Rather than watch a child or get a coffee that had fourteen steps, Blake just had to ensure that Toto’s meetings and schedule were all up to date, send emails and get the occasional coffee or lunch which was so much easier. She got paid to travel, paid to be friends with people in a sport she was beginning to love, life and breath and she finally felt as if she belonged. There was no expectation of having to dress a certain way like she did with Kelly, to feel like she fit in. 
Blake walked alongside Toto, going over the timeline for the first half of the day and handing him printouts full of necessary information before her legs became caught in the arms of a certain small child. Blake looked down, beaming at Penelope who just looked up at her with a cheeky smile on her face. She quickly glanced back at Toto, an apologetic look upon her face to which he only shook his head with a faint smile. 
“We don’t start for another hour and you’ve already done so much to ease my day. I’ll meet you there.” Blake nodded, grateful for her new friendly boss and bent down to hug the small growing girl. 
“And where is your mother?” Blake wrapped her arms around Penelope and picked her up. The young girl was dressed in Red Bull Racing merchandise which looked funny in comparison to her Mercedes uniform. 
“With Maxie! I was with Jenna but she was on her phone and I was bored. I missed you.” Blake started walking towards the Red Bull Racing back area where all drivers, team principles and other important people would be for the duration of the weekend when not at the pit. It wasn’t too far away from all the other teams so it took her no time. She showed her passes to security and walked right in. Red Bull colours were everywhere with Max and Sergio’s faces plastered on every free surface. She forgot how much Red Bull idolised their drivers. Back at Mercedes they were much more subtle, though still highlighting the importance of their two star drivers. 
“So, is Jenna the new assistant? Is she nice?” Blake happily listened as Penelope walked about Jenna. She found that she didn’t like to play with Penelope a lot but fed her lots and lots of junk food when on one was watching. It was mildly concerning to Blake and she was about to say something then she rounded the corner, stumbling on a fight that was occurring between Max and Kelly. 
“You need to hire her back. I’ll pay whatever she wants, Jenna is shit at her job!” Max seemed like he was trying to reason more than fight, but Blake knew that when there was some sort of confrontation that Kelly’s first instinct was to raise her voice and fight back. 
“Why? You made her feel insignificant, we all saw that. Why would you want her near you? With Penelope and myself?” Kelly’s eyes were burning into Max’s and Blake felt like she was imposing. Penelope was oblivious to the fight, babbling on about what Blake had missed out on the past couple months. Of course the fight was extremely loud, just enough to hear from a few metres away, plus it was fairly hushed in the building. 
“I never hated her! I-”
“You hate her, you don’t. I don’t understand. Why all the bickering, why all the stares across the room at her, why all the rolling of the eyes? I don’t understand. Make me understand. Max, can you tell me the truth, just this once?” Kelly had a tear fall down her cheek, Blake feeling immensely guilty for both eavesdropping and being the topic of the fight. 
Max’s eyes faltered and he looked to the ground, hoping it could somehow swallow him up and he could avoid this conversation altogether. But this was reality, this was real life and everything was coming back to bite him in the ass. 
“Max, Goddammit! Look at me. Look at me!” Kelly’s voice got louder, this time snapping Penelope out of her one-sided conversation in Blake's arms and looking around for the source of the voice. “Tell me the truth.”
“I don’t hate Blake. I never hated Blake.”
“You love her.” Blake was shocked, she even let out a gasp when Kelly said those words which seemed to make them both snap out of their heated fight. Max looked like a kicked puppy and Kelly’s face was bright red, fuelling with anger. 
“Penelope, there you are.” A woman who Blake could only presume was Jenna rounded the corner, rushing for Penelope and snatching the young girl out of Blake’s arms before anyone could protest.
“You don’t mean that.” Blake filled in the silence, her full attention to Max. “Tell me you don’t mean that. Tell me and Kelly that you hate me, that you hate my guts. Please, tell us anything that isn’t you loving me. You can’t love me, Max, you need to hate me.” 
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wosowrites · 1 year
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Legacy’s Daughter (Leah Williamson x Reader)
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warnings: none
a/n: probably the shortest fic i’ve ever written. based off this request:
prompt: in which leah is dating the daughter of one of the old lionesses and the reader goes with her mother to get her legacy cap.
Your mother was Kelly Smith. Yeah, the Kelly Smith. She had adopted you at only 24 year old. The adoption was out of the blue, and quite random to the fans, but you meant everything to her.
It also just so happened that Leah Williamson was a pretty big fan of Kelly. Having done the walkout with the former english captain as a young girl.
In August of 2022, at a Euros celebration party, you had met Leah for the first time. At the time, you were 20 and Leah was 24. Things had gotten a little wild, there was a lot of alcohol involved, and then an unplanned hookup. But after that night, when the alcohol wore off, you couldn’t brush the feeling of wanting to see her again.
Today, 8 months later, you and Leah were dating. The lionesses knew, so did your mother, but your relationship stayed private from the fans for now.
You sat in the drivers seat of your mothers car, driving up to St-George’s park. Today, she would receive her legacy cap.
You pulled up in the parking lot and then looked over to your mother. "Mum?" You said gently. "Yes sweetheart?" She asked, putting her phone down. "I’m really grateful for you. You had no reason to adopt me when you were so young. But you did, and you kept on captaining England and I’m so lucky to have you. And i’m really proud you’re my mum." You said to her.
Your mother smiled at you and leaned it to hug you, holding her close to you. "Okay. Let’s go get that cap." You smiled at her. "You just want to see your girlfriend." Kelly laughed. "I do." You answered.
You had always been close with your mother, she was the best mother ever. The perfect balance of being parent like and your best friend.
You walked in together, photographers already taking pictures. The second you found yourselves in the large futsal gym, you took in your surroundings. Multiple tables with dozens of red legacy caps, a bunch of former and current lionesses, and in the middle of it all, your girlfriend.
You walked up to her, tapping her on the shoulder and making her look away from her friends. "Baby!" She said happily. She wrapped her arms around your waist and spun you around as you wrapped your arms around her neck. "I’m happy to see you" she said into your hair. "You saw me yesterday." You giggled. "And i’m happy to see you again."
You let go of her and smiled at her, taking in her features instead of kissing her.
She took in yours and then you had to look away to not be too suspicious due to the cameras everywhere.
The ceremony started soon enough, they called the names of different former lionesses, and eventually, it was your mothers turn. You clapped loudly and whooped as she walked up to get her hat. As current captain, Leah placed it on her head and gave her a quick hug and a smile.
Leah gave a speech at the end of the hat distribution, and then came over to you. "I’m happy you came with Kelly." Leah said to you, putting her arm around your shoulders. "Me too. Life’s really crazy. She would never have known that the girl she walked out with that one game when you were like… 8 would end up being her daughters girlfriend. And the best captain englands ever had." You said to her. "Woah! Dont let your mum hear that." Leah laughed. "Hey! There my words but there also hers. She always says it. You’re the best Englands ever seen, Leah." you told your girlfriend.
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navia3000 · 1 year
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Lose You To Love Me
I saw a lot of people requesting for a second part to Traitor so here it is, hope you enjoy! @adaclaws @jah0700
Pairings: Max Verstappen x Ex!Reader, Max Verstappen x Kelly Piquet, Pierre Gasly x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Max is selfish af, mentions of a toxic relationship, cursing
Based on the song Lose You To Love Me by Selena Gomez
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You promised the world and I fell for it
I put you first and you adored it
It had been a couple months since Max dumped Y/N, and she felt great. After months of crying, skipping meals, and skipping work as to not run into him, she felt good. Finally.
She had signed with Ferrari, meaning she left Red Bull and Max. She felt free. She was skipping team meetings and debriefs, all for the purpose of avoiding him. Fortunately for her, Ferrari wanted her and her skill, and she gladly accepted. She had also grown close her teammate, Carlos Sainz, a man she loved like a brother. He had been there the nights she couldn’t stop crying after Max announced his relationship with Kelly, he had been there when she was struggling to eat, he had been there, and he had helped pick up her broken pieces and glue them back together. She had also formed a little group involving Daniel Ricciardo, Lando Norris, Pierre Gasly, and Carlos, and she couldn’t be happier for her newfound friends.
We'd always go into it blindly
I needed to lose you to find me
Everyone had noticed the girl’s changed behavior. Mechanics, team principals, and the drivers had noticed the girl that was once a ghost of herself had transformed into the old, happy version of herself.
And Max noticed too. He was happy with Kelly, and he didn’t regret ending his relationship with Y/N, but as selfish as it sounds, he found comfort in knowing that she had not gotten over him. He liked seeing that she was still hung up on what they once were, on him. He hated to admit it but it boosted his already high ego.
Seeing her back to her old self, seeing her happy and laughing with the other drivers, he didn’t like it. He knew he was selfish, but he didn’t care.
This dancing was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me, yeah
It was another great day on the track. The weekend was coming around, meaning all the teams were already preparing for the coming race. Y/N felt good, she felt good about the car and her chances of placing high in qualifying, and had a little pep in her step.
On her way to Ferrari’s hospitality, she bumped into Pierre. She would never admit it, but she couldn’t ignore the way her heart seemed to skip a beat whenever she saw him, and she couldn’t ignore the way she blushed whenever he called her sweet names like dear or love in French. She knew what this meant because she had once felt the same for Max.
“Hello, ma chérie! How has your day been?” She couldn’t help but smile wider at both his chosen name for her and his question.
“Well, if you must know, it’s been great. I feel quite confident about our chances on winning the race.”
“Don’t get too cocky. I am a better driver than you, remember?” At that, she felt herself grow giddy. The pair had an ongoing battle on who is the better driver, and whilst she fully believed she was, she enjoyed their banter.
“Are you sure about that? Cause, from what I recall, last week I got P5 and you got P7…” He laughed at her teasing.
“Yeah, that was a warmup. Now, I’m not going to go easy on you.”
“Oh, is that what you were doing?”
“Yeah, it was.” The both of them were laughing, when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Max and Kelly making their way in their direction. She expected to feel sad or upset, but she felt oddly at peace. She no longer cringed at the sight of the couple together, and she was proud of herself for it.
Pierre being the kind man his mother raised him to be, greeted the couple once they got close to them. “Max, Kelly, how are you?”
Kelly didn’t seem bothered by Y/N’s presence, and Y/N liked that. She liked the idea of being able to be cordial with Max’s new love. “We’re great, how about you guys?” Kelly shot a kind smile to both her and Pierre. Max, on the other hand, didn’t seem so welcoming. His distaste for seeing one of his close friends and his ex flirt was obvious.
“We’re great, just heading to get some lunch,” Y/N spoke. Pierre turned to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
“Actually, I was going to ask, would you like to go to Carmelo’s with me? I was headed there to get some food for me and Kimi.” Y/N smiled; she didn’t know for sure, but she hoped it was somewhat a date.
“I absolutely would.” The pair turned to Kelly and Max and said goodbye to them. Max did not look happy, not one bit, and it seemed Kelly had noticed when she turned and started speaking to him in hushed tones.
I needed to lose you to love me, yeah
Time had passed, and Y/N was better than ever. Pierre asked her out and after a couple of dates, he asked her to be his girlfriend. She, of course, said yes. Pierre was kind, loving, gentle, and looked at her as if she hung the moon. All which were conditional in her relationship with Max.
Max seemed to be deteriorating. He was constantly angry, and was not doing great in his races. Y/N didn’t want to assume, but ever since she got with Pierre, Max seemed to get worse and worse. Not just with racing, his mental state too.
But, it wasn’t her problem anymore. She was with Pierre, and yet, she was happy. Her racing was great, and yet, she was happy. She lost Max, and yet, she was happy. She didn’t need him anymore. She had to relearn how to love herself, and ever since she did, she couldn’t imagine a world where she was still upset over Max. Sure, she still cared for him, but she wouldn’t allow herself to grieve over something he ruined. This was his doing; he made his bed, now he has to lay in it.
This dancing was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me, yeah
She was laying on Pierre’s bed when her phone rang. She was staying the night in Pierre’s apartment, and he was currently out getting some ingredients for brownies the pair were going to bake.
Suddenly, her phone rang.
Max. Max was calling. She knew because she had once memorized his phone number in case of an emergency. She could ignore it and ignore the man completely, but she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life wondering what he had to say. So, she clicked the green button.
“Hello?” Max’s voice sounded raw, as if he had been crying.
“Hi,” she didn’t know what to say, so she resorted for small talk. “How are you?” Her question went unanswered for a couple of seconds.
“I miss you.” She didn’t know what she expected but it wasn’t that.
“What?”
“I miss you, Y/N.” No. She would not allow herself to fall for it, to fall for him again. He messed up, he broke her, and she wasn’t willing to give him another chance.
“Max, don’t do this.” A sob tore through her phone’s speakers. “Please, don’t do this. You’re with Kelly, and she makes you happy. I’m with Pierre, and he makes me happy. You’re the one who broke up with me, you made that decision. So, please, don’t do this. Don’t try to ruin the happiness and love that I have found.”
“I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I fucked up. But, seeing you with Pierre… I hate it. It hurts to see you with him.”
“But it didn’t hurt to see me broken. It didn’t hurt to see me hurting over you. You went with Kelly and you were fine seeing me broken. And now that I move on, you wanna come back?” He didn’t answer. “No, Max. I’m sorry, but no. I care for you, I do, but I am not going through this with you again. I cried for weeks, I could barely eat, I hated my life, I hated you, I hated myself, and I’m finally free from all of that. I won’t let you ruin it. I won’t let you ruin the love and happiness I found. I moved on. And I suggest you do the same. Good luck on the race tomorrow.” With that, she hung up.
She expected to feel some sort of agony over the conversation, but she didn’t. What happened, happened, and she wouldn’t change it for the world.
She looked up to find Pierre coming into the room, not having heard him come into the apartment. “Everything ok, ma chérie?” She stood up, and walked over to him.
“Everything is perfect.” He smiled, and joined their lips.
I needed to lose you to love me
And now the chapter is closed and done
And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us
A/N: I really like this one, let me know what you think! Requests are open!!
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whoetoshaw · 1 year
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MUMMA BEHZ | h. lewis
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summary: you meet baby olive for the first time. [6.5k words.]
pairing: reader x bog. (W2S).
notes: caution! baby fever 👶🏼. THIS HAS BEEN MY FAV THING TO WRITE, don’t let her floppp!! 😭 HOPE YOU ENJOY. 💗 drop a lil comment to lmk what you thought! and plz reblog!
“AHHHH! I’M. SO. EXCITEDDD!!!”
You buckled your seatbelt again after paying for the petrol Harry had just put in his car, along with some snacks, before you continued the rest of your journey to the Payne-Kelly household. You were practically jumping out of your seat, counting down the seconds ‘til you arrived at the home to meet the newest addition, already smitten from pictures alone. “Really? I can’t tell.”
Well, one of you had to be excited.
It wasn’t that Harry wasn’t excited to meet the baby, I mean he was ecstatic for his best mate having a child, starting that next chapter in life and being the best dad to little Olive. He was stoked to be an uncle! Promising he would try to be the best uncle as well for Baby Behzinga, but well . . kids and babies weren’t really his forté, per say. I mean it wasn’t for most guys (not to stereotype), but Harry was more awkward bonding with children than he was with people when approached in public, not really knowing what to talk about and if he should feel embarrassed knowing young kids watched him online. He wasn’t the most parent-approving persona online, not the best role model . . but hey ho, he never meant any harm. You found it odd because he was quite literally a big child to you, never one to grow up, but here he was: a man who didn’t know what things interested a toddler and the common age for a baby to start walking (or old enough to play football, being the real reason behind that question).
He just wasn’t a paternal person. He liked to think he would be when he had his own kids (and you had every faith he would be) but it was no secret Harry joked about how stupid and disgusting children were, and could see that stage far enough in his life. And knowing his luck, he’d probably have twins on the first go.
You were on the same page with that, parenting was a thing for the future. You’d been loyally devoted to the pill since you were 17 when you first started dating Harry. You were only turning 25 - you could give it another few years before you had someone calling you Mum. You liked having to only look after yourself; going on holidays as a couple; having nights out with no dread of having to care for an infant (and Harry) the next morning with a killer hangover. You were, however, the most maternal person your friends and family had come across. You didn’t even like kids that much either as a teen, your mum always forcing you to look after your baby cousins and such to keep you from going out, and as much as you would hate her for it, she knew you’d do a perfect job at caring for them for a night, whether they were 6-years-old or 6-months-old. You were a natural, and you realised it wasn’t something to be embarrassed about when you got older. Babies liked you. You had the ability to soothe a child that wasn’t even related to you; take over from the mother when even she felt like she didn’t know what to do, your friends would laugh at your natural talent, it was strange. You didn’t think much of it, but knew it must come in handy when it was your turn. For now though, you were happy to pack your case for your upcoming holiday to Ibiza, instead of a hospital bag for when you gave birth.
You checked the pink gift bag at your feet to make sure it had everything you’d bought in it for baby Olive and her gorgeous mummy, Faith. It only contained a few things for the newborn, nothing special: a little teddybear, some baby lotions, a pack of dummies, babygrows and bibs, and a pair of trainers you made Harry pick for her to wear when she was a little older (because you wanted him involved). You then had to look after your girl and make sure she was getting spoiled too, having been the one who’d done all the hard work, so you got Faith her own bag of gifts: some bath salts, fluffy pyjamas, body oils and lotions, face masks, body sprays as well as some iced coffee drinks, chocolates, and a fancy bottle of wine she could share with Ethan when Baby O perhaps spent the night with her Gran, if she was feeling generous. A fresh batch of cupcakes also say on your lap. You were really close to Faith, having been close with all the Sidemen Girlfriends, you’d had no choice but to get close with the girl as Harry and Ethan were a couple in themselves. If you didn’t get along with her, it would have probably caused endless problems for the boys. But you loved Faith and she loved you, you were so alike; you’d grown close the second you met her and soon enough, she was helping you gang up on Harry and Ethan swear your name when you seem to steal her all the time, half-regretting bringing you together.
Best friends, and now, she’d given you another mini one.
“Jesus, we can not get here fast enough,” Harry’s fingers massaged his forehead with his elbow rested on the window, coming to a red light, you still had another 20 minutes to go. From last night since you’d agreed to come over, you hadn’t stopped clapping excitedly and gushing to your boyfriend how you couldn’t wait to hold Baby Behzinga. He was excited to seeing the new family too but he knew you and Faith were going to be the ones hogging the baby while Ethan snuck him into his gaming room.
You squeezed his thigh to loosen him up, watching him jump as it tickled him. “Awk come on, you can crack me a smile.”
What is there to smile about when you’re going to come home with baby fever reeking off you for the next week?! Harry could sense it from a mile away. By the end of the night, he’d be trying to fall asleep and you’d be nagging to him about getting a dog.
The car pulled into their driveway and you could see Ethan get up to greet you from the window. Baby Olive was only 2 weeks old and you were surprised Faith had allowed you to come see her so soon; you wanted to give them all the time they needed, knowing how relatives could be and what a new baby in the fam was like. Ethan agreed, letting Faith do whatever she was comfortable with, but Faith considered you a best friend; the closest thing to a sister-figure and you were the first person she wanted to meet her baby girl out of all her friendships. You’d only known each other a couple years but she couldn’t remember what it was like before you, you were like her other half.
You were the Bog to her Behzinga.
“Hello, mate,” Ethan opened the door with a laugh already leaving his mouth as he reached to throw his arms around Harry. He couldn’t believe it; he was finally at that stage in his life where his best friend was meeting his child for the first time. He felt weird.
“Congrats, bro! Congrats!” Harry embraced him, patting him on the back cheerfully as the smile never left his lips. You stood behind them for a second, waiting with them to finish up when E stepped aside to let you follow in. “Ello you!”
“Congratulations, Daddy Behz,” you gave him that surprised look as you could finally call him the name now that it was official. He hugged you tight as you stepped into the house, feeling him laugh over your shoulder from your name calling and thanked you as well.
You followed behind Harry who looked for the living room, seeing all the different congratulations cards with ribbons and pink writing. You knew Harry wouldn’t understand it if you said it but you could already smell that new baby smell, mixed with talcum powder and such. You also spotted the little babygrows drying over the radiators and your heart busted, your hands clenching as Harry led you to the living room, it all becoming very real. Ugh, when’s it my turn?!
Your head turned the corner of the door and you were met with the sight of Faith lounging on the sofa, baby Olive in her arms. “Hello!” She waved you both in, sitting up in her position as the smile widened on her face. “Come on in! Sit down! Sit down!”
You’d pushed past Harry to hug her first, not wanting her to get up as she was still recovering from her c-section, and bent down to wrap an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her tight whilst being careful not to squash baby Olive with your chest. “You look amazing!” You gushed, standing aside so Harry could greet her. He bent down also to wrap and arm under her arm, congratulating her also as Ethan closed the door behind himself.
“Oof, thanks. I don’t feel like it, though,” she gave you a humoured look as you waved her off, knowing she looked fabulous.
Your eyes settled on the sleeping newborn and held you chest, feeling emotional seeing her in real life for thr first time. Here she was! In the flesh! Sleeping beauty!
You were so happy for Faith and Ethan.
Faith didn’t waste a minute offering her to you, which you exchanged her with the presents she was incredibly grateful for. “Aw! You didn’t need to! You literally gave way too much at the baby shower, seriously guys!” She looked inside, touched by the gesture. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t be silly, I had to. This is your bag, don’t let anyone in it,” you pointed a finger in his direction which made her laugh and Ethan need to look inside. You set the bag down and let her place baby Olive in your arms, check you were comfortable before taking the bags and going to the kitchen to pop the kettle on.
You were hypnotised. You absolutely adored the little person in your arms. She was so tiny and warm, and her little fingers captivated you attention as you took a seat on the sofa, not taking your eyes off her. “She is just so cute,” you frowned at her little face, Ethan capturing the moment on his phone. Harry took a seat next to you and peered beside you, his finger reaching for hers as he felt FOMO watching you hog her. He was smitten too, he didn’t know it, but he was. He thought she was the most adorable baby ever. He couldn’t stop smiling. He was absolutely buzzed for his best mate. So happy for them both. “Mate, she’s a smasher.”
“Int she?” Behz chuckled, watching his friends astonishment.
“Literally adorable. You should be so proud, Behz,” you starred at her, “she’s so lucky to have you both as her parents.” They were her Mum and Dad, and she was theirs. “And she’s all yours.”
“Like you have a child, lad. You are a dad. You’re going to be doing the school run in a few years time!” Harry as always made everyone laugh, even Faith who reappeared to hear the last bit of his sentence.
“Oh please don’t say that, I already don’t want her to grow any bigger!” Faith jokingly cried, taking a seat on the carpet. You urged her to sit next to you on the sofa but he assured you she needed a hard surface as she felt her body was moulding into the cushions.
“Isn’t she just so cute?” You mumbled to Harry, watching how he bounced her finger with his own while she slept. The sight was imprinted in your mind.
“So cute, she’s so small!” He said, looking at how tiny her fingernails were. Faith and Ethan could only laugh.
Ethan headed for the kitchen to finish making the teas whilst Faith nosied through her gift bag, inspecting every thing and sniffing the oils, loving every one. You took a bunch of photos, knowing they were only the first of many when you had your girly days out. Ethan gave you your drinks as too relaxed in the warm house, enjoying the company and the milestone of a memory. You had to laugh at Faith and Ethan who, for a while, used the moment of their baby being in safe hands as an advantage to scroll through their phones and catch up on socials whilst you watched their little angel. Harry had already snapped them both on their phones and labelled them being for being shit parents and hosts which sent them into fits of laughter.
“Do you mind if I go hang the rest of my washing out? I’ll only be a minute,” Faith got to her feet again as she heard the washing machine come to a stop, you replying not at all as you waved her on to do what you needed to do. Olive was asleep anyway, and making no plans to wake up soon. “Do you want to hold her?” You questioned, sliding forward on the sofa to reach for your cooling tea, moving the infant comfortably onto one arm and away from the mug. Your confidence intimidated Harry and even Ethan was stunned by how natural you were at handling newborns - he was still nervous picking her up and passing her onto other people.
He wanted to say yes but felt like he should say no. What are the chances she wakes up and starts crying the second I’m holding her? Or worse! Drop her! Jesus, what if I drop her. His eyes nervously met yours and you knew he wanted to but he was scared, but you encouraged him to sit up and swiftly placed her in his arms. You watched him tense up immediately. “Harry, you’re okay,” you reassured, moving his arm lower and positioning of the pillow under his elbow so he could relax, “you’re not handling a bomb.”
“Feels like it.”
You smiled at him, guiding him back by his shoulder so he could lay back a little and chill. He felt much more comfortable and finally looked down at her again, feeling secure as he watched her squirm, your words constantly reassuring him, ‘it’s okay, it’s okay’. When she settled again and he did, you looked between them both and seen the content on their faces, and your whole body felt like warm water ran through you, tickling your nerves and sparking something in you. You felt proud looking at Harry, knowing how he could be. Your lips pressed lovingly onto his cheek.
“You know . . it’s not that bad!” He cracked, pulling a face at Behz, who laughed at his comment, saying it as if he was trying out something for the first time and giving him the all clear that it was good for him to do. “GO ON THEN! GIZ A GO!” Ethan jumped, acting excitement, and they both laughed before he returned taking photos of your first meeting. “Oh no, watch out Y/N. He’s getting broody!”
You cackled at that whilst Harry’s cheeks slightly blushed (and tried to play off as being warm) and shook your finger at Behz lazily, “I wish,” you placed your head on the blond’s shoulder, looking down at her again the same time he reassured, “absolutely not.”
Olive was a dream, you couldn’t take your eyes off her, especially in your boyfriend’s hold, it was your favourite picture. She was just so small! She was small as it was but particularly in Harry’s grasp, she looked her tiniest, and your heart sobbed. She was simply an angel, an innocent little thing you wanted to shield her from all things bad. You caressed her hand softly with your finger, feeling like you could melt, you were all buttered up, in a bubble with your head pressed snug against Harry.
Faith came back in and resumed her spot on the floor, petting the dogs as you all began discussing the the last couple weeks and the craziness gone on, catching up. She explained how she was already finding a routine and Ethan expressed how blessed they were to not dread the thought of going back to a regular 9-5 job once their baby bubble was popped. She was also glad to have some girl time with you and to discuss things other than motherhood for a while, as much as she loved it, she knew she’d missed out on some drama gone on and you were there to fill her in. You chatted girly things, asking for her advice on what outfit to order online and blocked out the sound of the boys and their ranting of football drama.
You were asking them of their house plans and upcoming schedules to get outings planned when Faith asked if you wanted to feed her. Harry looked at you worried (as if you would confirm to him whether he was capable of doing something or not) and when you nodded and Faith gave you the bottle, you put the bib on Baby O, sat her up higher and guided Harry on what angle to hold it at. As much as you wanted to smother Olive with cuddles, you wanted Harry to not shy away and miss out because of his nerves. He was good and you’d held enough babies in your time!
But then when Faith asked if she needed a break to be winded, Harry didn’t give you the chance and passed her over to you, letting you lean her forward with your hand on her chin and the other giving a solid pat on her back. She burped quickly and loudly.
“WOAH! New record that! Faith, are you witnessing this!”
“Y/N, I’m sorry but you’re not leaving this house. You are now our stay-at-home nanny,” your best friend chuckled as she tickled her daughter’s foot through her babygrow.
“Trust me, I’ve just had plenty of practice,” you blushed embarrassingly.
“We can bloody tell. You’re a freakin’ pro,” Ethan exclaimed, leaving the mugs back in the kitchen to top you all up.
“Your kids will have the best Mummy.”
“Faith,” a warning tone came from Harry who side-eyed her from his phone.
Ethan came back in at the sound of her laughter and quizzed what he missed. “Harry just shitting himself as per.”
“Mate, no! It’s you who’s going to bloody jinx it!” He accused, pointing to her.
“Yes! Give her a friend already!”
“Give her a boyfriend,” Faith teased, sitting on her knees as you laughed at her playfulness, telling her to shut up.
Ethan was killing himself laughing at Harry’s reaction. “He’s going to have himself booked in for a vasectomy tomorrow!” He clapped, hitting his knee.
“Literally,” he laughed at him, not even denying it. You rolled your eyes and lay her back again to continue giving her her bottle, crossing a leg over the other.
It was all in good jokes, but Faith couldn’t help but feel like it’d been a running joke too long that you would be 50 by the time Harry gave you a child. Sometimes she really questioned if Harry wanted children at all. Girlhood was having a list of baby names since you were 14 and casually discussing your future parenting skills with your besties. “Harry, do you want kids, right enough? Like is that on the to-do list?” She sipped her tea.
“I – mean yeah, I want a couple kids, yeah,” he answered, “few bambinos.”
In like 20 years, you kept quiet.
“We all thought he was going to be the first.”
“Really?”
“Before Freya and Josh?” You quizzed, raising your brow at Behz. After all, the couple had been together the longest and were the oldest.
“Well yeah, they’re smarter than you—”
“HEY! HEY! HEY! Hold on now! Just ‘cause I’m the youngest—”
“—was more the reason our money was on you, Bog.” Ethan was bellowing with laughter, thinking of the convos he’d had with the lads on the likelihood of Harry walking into the office one day with a simple ‘it happened, boys.” They’d suspected it from he was about 19 being biased, being cozy with his girlfriend, it wouldn’t be a shock, but then they’d mentioned it to him and he’s expressed his priority of making a living for himself and no bloody, sticky child was getting in the way of that. And he meant it. He was committed sharing his life with you for a while.
You’d always told him you wanted to be married before you had children, just ‘cause you felt it would please your parents and you didn’t like the idea of them attending your wedding, but as years passed and Harry made no intentions he was proposing to you either, you’d given up on the fact there was no use in trying to outline a plan for your life, not with Harry. You never wanted to rush him into anything and you couldn’t complain at the pace you were at together either: you could be selfish. You loved the idea of children but you didn’t know what it would be like having to share Harry with your tiny people, and he felt the same way about you.
“He could barely look after himself back then.”
“He can just about look after himself now!”
You laughed at that. “No, back then he was throwing himself off roofs and all sorts, you think my mother was letting me get pregnant to that?! He wasn’t going to be around to help me raise it!”
The three of you laughed while Harry sat amused, his cheeks pink as he recalled his younger days being an absolute wally. It was a good thing you’d always been mature for your age. “Alright, alright.”
Ethan scraped up a handful of the sweets you’d bought, “you’d be a fun dad, Bog.”
“He’d be such a good dad! Olive clearly likes him, she hasn’t fussed once with him!” Faith agreed, topping up her tea.
“Right, you’re just saying that to embarrass me,” he held a hand up to block their complements, not knowing how to handle them. “Stop it.”
“Does it not excite you to have that one day, Bog?” Ethan asked sincerely, knowing himself couldn’t imagine him in his current position, ever. So unrealistic. He could never picture himself being responsible for a little baby; being a good dad. He always knew he’d be too childish, unable to grow up. But here he was, his whole perspective changed. His world flipped upside down. Now everything he did was for this little girl.
Harry was still stuck in that previous stage. If he thought Ethan thought he was immature, Harry must have been a literal boy in a grown man’s body because he was the worst of them all. That was probably why it was so unrealistic for him, because he knew himself he was the youngster of the clan. What was he supposed to do with a baby? He was still a baby! It wasn’t even a thought. “I mean . . yeah.”
The couple stifled a laugh at his lack of emotion, like he was trying to convince himself. Faith tilted her head at him, her cup of tea in hand. “Harry, have you ever thought about it? Have you ever pictured yourself being a dad?”
No. Not really. Not seriously. “Not really Faith, it’s not something I’ve dreamed of since I was a little boy,” he laughed, scratching his head nervously. Although it did begin to drift into his head when they addressed you and how quiet you’d gone. You’d alerted Faith that the baby may need a nappy change and she’d passed you the bag, not bothering to ask if you wanted her to do it as she had every faith in you, while she could go grab her pram to set her in to give everyone’s arms a break.
Harry watched you place her on the sofa and change her without being too much of an inconvenience, the gentleness and playfulness to your tone when she began to wince and cry for being bothered, telling her how you knew it was hard being a baby and having everything done for you. It made him smile. Why were you so good with kids? Why did you make it look so easy?
For a second, he could see it: he could you both, chilling at home, the moses basket in your living room, cards around your fireplace. He could see you holding your kid, talking to them in a soft voice when they cried when you took the bottle away to wind them. It was easy for anybody to see the negatives to it all: your attention was split, the spark could dim, you might feel like you don’t see each other as much, everything changes and it’s not the same — that put him off.
But looking at you, he knew you’d keep him right. You’d make sure he did a good enough job, and that was good enough for him.
You’d gone a walk around the private lands around Ethan and Faith’s house, appreciating the beauty of the country, rather than the busy city of London. Ethan and Harry walked upfront with the pram whilst you and Faith linked arms behind them, throwing balls for the dogs and letting them off the leash. When you came back, you were taken back by how it was the boys doing most of the hogging, Harry wanting to quote on quote, ‘get another cuddle’ before you left, and sat down the stairs talking with a relaxed Olive. You and Faith had gone upstairs to discuss plans and help each other out with upcoming birthdays and ideas.
“Mate, how weird is it?”
“So weird, mate. I can’t believe she came from me and Faith, like— how does that happen?” Ethan was smiling down at his daughter in Harry’s arms, comfy and warm snuggling against his fleecy hoodie. “People tell you there is no feeling like it in the world and mate, they are so right. You’ll actually get it when it happens to you,” he laughed with a hand on his shoulder.
Harry believed him.
“And your Mrs bro,” he shook his head, “you respect them now but it is a whole other game after watching them go through what they go through.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, mate. Shocking. Honestly, women are—” Ethan was speechless as he couldn’t even find the words to explain. “I don’t know how Faith does it. I mean, especially having a girl, she was so much more nervous ‘cause she only had brothers - a girl intimidated her- but, she’s even surprised herself.”
“I know. I mean some are just natural, aren’t they?” He couldn’t stop looking at Olive. She looked just like Ethan. Weird.
“Mate, Y/N,” he shared a knowing look, “thon girl could raise an alien.” They laughed out loud. “I’ll be honest with you mate,” he looked to his best friend, “I know people say it’s hard, and it can be - but bro . .” he shook his head, “easy. Easy. Doesn’t need to be hard. What’s so hard about it? You’re both in the same boat. You just help each other. The whole thing is trial and error, you can be nervous all you want but brother, if you and your Mrs are strength in arms — you have nothing to worry about. They keep you right.”
Harry took in how words, taking them to heart as he imagine himself in those shoes. He believed what Ethan had to say, and he trusted him. He knew as much as everything would change, you two could remain the exact same. If possible, you’d love each other even more. The spark wouldn’t dim and you wouldn’t love him any less. If anything, life just for more exciting. New opportunities to do together, to do as a family; to grow as a couple. He didn’t need to be worried about anything, so long you were by his side. You’d keep him right.
“And your Mum, too. Jesus — they don’t go away.”
He laughed, “mate don’t, I don’t know who’s Mum would be worse, hers or mine!” He chuckled, picturing his Mum faff about their house. But, he wouldn’t change it for the world. He knew if there was anyone more excited for the idea of Baby Lewis, it was going to be his Mum. Harry was her oldest and she’d always expected him to give her her first grandchild, and with his stable income, age and relationship with an angel of a girl, anytime was perfect timing.
But she could wait too, because he had a holiday to go on.
You and Faith had been chilling in her bed after folding the laundry when you realised the time and how long you’d stayed. You forced yourself out of the bed and down the stairs to get Harry, signalling it was time to go. Faith and Ethan hugged you both and thanked you for everything, the gifts and for visiting them, and visiting baby Olive and already being best Aunt and Uncle to her. They wished you a safe trip and said to see you soon, Faith and you perhaps for a coffee date and Ethan more than likely at work with Harry. You waved goodbye from the car, the sky dimming as winter was on its way, and began your journey back home.
It was dark on the roads and you still had another half hour to go, but you stayed awake in hopes it encouraged Harry to feel awake. Every time you looked at him, you were filled with that same warm feelings, seeing him with Olive melting your heart over and over again; pulling at your heartstrings. It also kind of pinched at your heart because you knew it would still be some time since you had that yourself. I mean you looked at your fingers and still there was no ring on them, furthering your feelings. But oh well.
One day.
“Wasn’t she just the cutest.”
He seemed to break out of his daydream, relaxing into his seat more. “Yeah. Yeah, so cute. So like Ethan.”
“Oh his double.”
He smiled, but it dropped shortly after and you could help but point something was occupying his thoughts. “Are you okay? You alright?”
He let out a breath and nodded. “Yeah.”
“You sure?”
He nodded, silence following.
And then he thought to tell you. “I just can’t believe Ethan’s a dad. I can’t believe that part of our lives is here. It’s scary.”
“Yeah, it’s overwhelming,” you agreed, knowing what it was like seeing all your friends getting engaged, married and pregnant. You still felt like you’d just left school.
“It is. I just . . can’t see myself doing it. Like I don’t think I’m ever going to be ready.”
“Harry. Everyone thinks like that. Of course you’ll be ready.”
“But what if I’m not, Y/N? What if I’m actually just . . shit,” he laughed, “I-I just don’t think I’ll be any good! Compared to you, I–I feel like you’ll know what you’re doing and I - you won’t need me. I’d be of no help, I’d be useless!”
“You wouldn’t be useless, Harry. I would always need you. You’re my rock, you need to be my rock when we have one.”
“A pebble.”
“We have a pebble, yes,” you agreed, liking his joke. “I don’t know what I’m doing either. I mean I know I seem to know what I’m doing but every child is different, you know? Our child will undoubtedly be some hyperactive robot. Fussy eater like me and shitting machi—“ His hand covered your mouth as you laughed. “I’m serious! They’ll be so hyper all the time! Won’t sleep, probably squeal all the time, throw it’s toys at walls,” you glanced over at him to see the smirk take his face.
A mini you and a mini him. Why was that fun to think about?
“I just still think I’ll be shit.”
“Harry, why would you? Kids who watch you online adore you. You’re funny. You’re smarter than you seem. You’re the most caring and affectionate person I know. You look out for others. You can be selfless. Your friends love you. Your family love you; are proud of you. You’re generous. You’re protective of those you love — honestly! Why wouldn’t you think you couldn’t do it? You’re going to be that person kids wish was their dad,” you laughed, your hand not leaving his leg, and the comment made him grin. Now for some reason, he could believe that. “Your instincts kick in, too. It all comes naturally.”
“You sound like a mother of 4.”
“I’ve been with you 8 years. It’s the equivalent to.”
His arm pushed you at that comment. “D’you really think so?”
“If Behz can do it, you can do it. He’s already the best dad.”
“Do you want my babies?”
You could have scoffed at such a ridiculous question. “No. I want Ronaldo’s if you’re giving me the option,”you rolled your eyes. “Of course I do.”
“Do you still want the ring first?”
“I’ll take whatever you give me.”
He grinned at that, turning back to face the road. “Do you think our kids will be cute? Who do you think they’ll look like?”
This was the most he’d taken interest in the topic and you didn’t know how to quite respond. It was overwhelming for once, your heart was beating out of your chest. “Hm,” you pondered, “probably you. First borns always tend to look like the dad. I do.”
“I don’t. I look like my Mum apparently.”
“Well I don’t know then, it’ll be a surprise,” you looked at him, eyes twinkling with anticipation. “But my guess is they’ll have light hair . . and blue eyes—“
“Hitler baby.”
“HARRY!”
“Sorry, sorry.”
You shook your head at him, moment ruined. “Blondish hair, blue eyes . . tall?” you quizzed, considering him tall as he’d always towered above you, “maybe they’ll get nice lips. Your lips.”
“Not my pecker,” he thought of them with your nose, knowing it would look much better compared to his.
“Hm. Who knows?” You shrugged, genuinely not knowing. “They’ll be funny, that’s for sure.”
“Smart if they get your brains.”
“Stupid if they get yours,” you’d commented, before you both looked at each other and changed the word to “. . dead.”
You both laughed. “They will be the most luckiest kid in the world with a daddy like theirs.”
“Oof. Daddy.”
“What? You like being called daddy.” You teased him.
“No I don’t!”
“Yeah you do!”
“Y/N, no I don’t. What are you on about?” He laughed.
“I beg to differ.”
“Shut up.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
He looked at you with pursed lips and awkward smile, so you gave him a smile and leaned over to kiss him along his jaw, not wanting to distract him too much. “Only joking.”
He hummed next to you. “Do you think I’ll be good?”
“Yes!” You expressed, getting tried of his self-doubt. “And you’ll probably spoil them all! Daddy’s boys and Daddy’s girls all around!”
That brought the biggest smile of all to his face. The thought of having his own little herd, boys and girls. Boys to play football with, play video games with, dress in kits and mess about with until you had to shout at them for their reckless behaviour. Girls to spoil rotten with clothes and toys, princesses, dresses, stuffed animals, or perhaps footballs and dragons as well. He didn’t like to think he would be a suck-up dad who gave in to their girls doing their makeup and knotting their hair playing hairdressers, but so God help him if they’re anything like you. ‘No’ would not even exists in his vocabulary.
And if they were anything like you, well he has his work cut out for him. How he would have to divide his attention evenly would be impossible. And they’d all probably fight for his attention: suck up to him and beg to play football with them outside, or wait for him to come back inside and draw pictures for the fridge. They’d only ask for him and consider him the fun parent ‘cause he refused to shout at them - that could be your job.
You’d go on family holidays and have to blow up all the armbands, teach them to swim and dress in summery outfits, tiny sandals for the girls and shorts the same as his for the boys. Pick them up from primary school. Go to the farm at the weekend. Car seats in the back. Small Nike Airforces all left by the door. The Lewis last name. The lads would all fight over who the favourite uncle was and they’d all love both sets of grandparents: you’d go round to his Mum’s where she’d make you all dinner and she’d be her happiest surrounded by her grandchildren, crowning Harry as her favourite child of the lot.
Oh, and don’t even get him started on Christmas.
But your kids would be beautiful, and that hit him the most. They’d come from you. He wondered nervously if they were anything like you but quickly found himself praying that they were. Your soft eyes that you could communicate alone with, your sense of humour that meant you never took anything to heart. Your bubbly personality but tough-as-nails stance that came out when you were in need of defence of something. Oh he wished they were like you. Anything like him was where the real work began, not knowing how he felt dealing with a mini-me; one was bound to be a cheeky little shit like his dad.
Looking at you, though, he knew you wouldn’t let that get past, for you’d be the best mother. Fun when you wanted to but strict when you needed to be. No brats allowed. He could already see picture the disagreements between the two of you when you’d bring up how he didn’t back you in your scolding of a child, and he’d have nothing to say because his reasoning of being in a trance of watching you scold someone that wasn’t him wasn’t a valid excuse. And Christ, would you look sexy pregnant, he could already picture the size your chest would go and the amount of complaining that went with it.
Oh, it was all so exciting. There was so much to look forward to. Before, during and after the pregnancy journey, he understood the hype, meanwhile, you looked out the window, growing grateful for it only being you two at the minute, going with the flow.
He looked over at you, a smirk coating his lips. “Here,” he passed you your purse where you kept your subscription inside, reminding you to take it.
“Oh, thanks.”
“No. Chuck it out the window.”
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magicalrocketships · 9 months
Note
ok im ready to be converted. what f1 fics do u recommend to start my full brain rot?
EXCELLENT, my plan is working (make people like what I like). Here is a very small and somewhat random selection, mostly Daniel/Max except where stated. Extremely loosely grouped. I've said if they're focused on them racing (grid), even if it's an AU. I have not associated anyone's ao3 handle with their tumblr name, so apologies for that. Do come back and tell me your thoughts and feelings. (!!)
F1 TASTING MENU (Maxiel Flavour)
Amuse Bouche: an opening vid
maxiel x 2022 season - “i would just draw it at like, i wouldn’t say love” by @daniel-enchante
Starters (shorter (ish) fics)
Cool Things to Say to Your Soulmate - words by powerfulowl, art by loveleah (grid, E): Only dumbasses get goosed. If a Soulmate Goose of Enforcement comes to intervene in your love life, it is a clear sign you have fucked up. You’re so bad at navigating human relationships that the universe thinks a violent waterfowl impervious to damage and capable of walking through walls will actually improve the situation. 
i carry your heart with me by capsize (grid, M): “What’s up little guy?” Daniel asks – because like his car, Max’s heart is a boy too – and moves the heart from the desk into his lap. “Is Max not paying attention to you? He can be a bit of a cunt, yeah? No, I know.” Or, five times someone found Max’s heart, and one time they kept it.
Just kissed you hello by charlotte_stant (grid, M): Everything freezes for a long moment—and then Daniel’s heart is back to beating and it’s fine, he can see how funny the situation is. “Maximus, my brother, my comrade,” he says, “what the fuck, mate. I’m not gay, ok?"
Amuse Bouche: another vid
max and daniel at redbull by @love-leah
Main Course (longer fics)
Good To You by TheNorthRemembers (grid, E): Max walks and talks like he has a big dick. He always has, and it’s not like Daniel ever really thought about Max’s dick, but he just- He assumed, maybe. That the equipment would match the attitude. That at the very least what Max is packing, would be completely average. The fact, that apparently it’s not- Well. Daniel doesn’t know what to do with that information, in more ways than one. Or: Max a small dick, Daniel is into it; lots of sex and a bit of angst ensue
my kind's your kind by hardlythewiser (grid, series, E, Max/Kelly/Daniel, resolving with Max/Daniel): Max can talk about it now, out of bed, casual. Kelly helped him practice, talking about it like it was just another activity, like her tennis lessons or nights out with friends, ever since that first time. But she doesn't say anything now.
To the Victor Belong the Spoils by powerfulowl (hunger games AU, E): Daniel didn’t kill anyone in the arena. He’s the one untarnished Hunger Games victor. The beautiful boy who stole the hearts of Panem with a fishing net and a smile. He can kiss babies and sell sun cream and fuck who they tell him to fuck and suck on the fingers that feed him– he’s not gonna bite. But then Max wins the Hunger Games. Max bites.
Amuse Bouche: vid time
"what's going on between you and max verstappen?" by @love-leah
Dessert (where the focus is on sex)
Sweeter than I ever knew by purples_all_the_way_down (grid, girls, E): Daniel has never had an orgasm. Somehow (Charles, it's always Charles), Max gets involved. Things get complicated.
I just want to know you like nobody ever has by 33Max (grid, E): They are in the bathroom, Daniel had insisted that he needed a shower if they were going to do this. He’s still damp, Max hadn’t even waited for him to dry himself off before he was pushing Daniel against the counter and dropping to his knees behind him.
Coffee (something different)
both hands tied on the wheel by kayshea (George Russell/Toto Wolff, grid, E): George feels, stupidly, like a cat that’s been stroked. Like his skin is electric. It’s what everyone has been saying to him all day, but it feels different, somehow, coming from Toto.
if i should come upon your house lonely by withfeathers (Lewis Hamilton/Hanna Prater/Sebastian Vettel, grid, E): The summer after Sebastian's retirement, Lewis visits Switzerland for a week. Nothing about it goes as he expected.
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riptideripley · 9 months
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I wanted to know if you could do a Rhea Ripley x fem reader imagine, where R is like this blonde/or poc bombshell kinda of like Kelly Kelly. Most wrestlers look at her as a valet and like really ditzy, but she’s with the judgement day. Like she always wears pink and white, versus them wearing black and purple, but during a feud with another group they just insult her and Rhea tries to stick up for her. Then she proves herself in the ring by beating down her opponent, and they’re all like we never knew you could do that. Then it’s kinda Rhea taking her more seriously as a wrestler. Bonus if they’re already dating, and Rhea never really saw her as more than a valet and she just wants to prove herself. Thank You!!!!!
The Valet
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summary:You were the valet for the Judgement day. With close studying of matches,you had a few tricks up your sleeve and finally got to showcase them
(story)wordcount:612
a/n:tried my best with this,sorry for the wait!
You were a new addition to the Judgement day,everyone saw you differently than the rest of the group. Your personality was completely different than the rest of the group and you were their Valet. You were also known as Rhea’s girlfriend,being with her for 2 years. Your attire was different,personality,everything. So often people saw you as a ditzy woman.
You were backstage sitting on Rhea’s lap before the promo with Damage Ctrl. You checked the time and got up to fix your outfit,along with a few final touches to your makeup. Rhea smiled,she loved your personality and just you in general. People wondered how you two were even a couple due to you having polar opposite wrestling personalities but outside of WWE she was just the same as you. “You ready princess?” she asked sticking her hand out. “Of course!” you responded and took her hand,walking to the gorilla alongside the rest of the Judgement day.
The music cued and you all walked out,Rhea with a microphone in her hand. “Now now Bayley. Don’t get beside yourself,I mean come on you really think you could beat me?” Rhea spoke as she got in the ring with the assistance of Dominik. You got in with her and stood next to her,clinging onto her arm like a baby while holding her title across your shoulder. Just when Rhea was about to speak,Dakota interrupted her. “Of course she can! As long as your silly dumb bitch doesn’t get involved.” she spoke,pointing at you. Rhea clenched her jaw looking down at you,making you look up at her. You gently dropped her title and stared at Dakota,her mocking how you skip with your hands behind your back when walking with the Judgement day.
Rhea was about to speak when you suddenly kicked Dakota in her stomach making her drop instantly. You threw several blows at Bayley and Iyo,knocking them off as you grabbed Dakota. You wrapped your hand around her throat and lifted her up,choke slamming her into the mat. Rhea stood there in shock along with Damien,Finn and Dominik cheered you on along with the crowd. You drop kicked and head butted Bayley,grabbing Iyo’s hand and twisting it slowly before throwing her out of the ring. You then dragged Dakota into the center of the mat,climbing to the top rope and doing a moonsault. You then got up smiling and did a cute finger wave towards Dakota(similar to Rhea),jumping onto Rhea’s back. Dominik grabs Rhea’s title as he helps you two out of the ring,Finn and Damien following.
“That was amazing!” Dom spoke once backstage,making you smile. “Never knew you had that in you (your name)..think we need to schedule you a match with Dakota soon” Damien said,getting a hum of agreement from Rhea. “Not unless I get some training first” you told him making Rhea’s eyes widen a little. “You did all of that..with no training?” “Mhm! I just pay very close attention to your matches along with others” you responded and planted a kiss to her cheek. She smiled and gave you a soft kiss,dragging you to Vince’s office. “Vince,I have a request. Can we start getting her into training along with matches? I mean you saw how she was tonight” she asked politely glancing at Triple H in the corner. They exchanged a look of agreement and nodded,accepting her request.
From that day forward,you wrestled alongside Rhea. She began taking you more seriously in wrestling and you were the new tag team champions.
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euthanizeher · 7 months
Text
0̲1̲.̲ /ㅤ ✿ ⸺ sudden epiphany
after putting off reading through 4dbarbie's non-dualism posts i finally said that enough was enough. funnily enough, i read @4dkellysworld 4dbarbie adaption post on how to realise self. i'm not sure why i read the second post first instead of going in order, but i fully plan on reading through them all.
p.s, anything that is indented comes straight from 4dkelly's adaption post about realising self!
p.p.s, all dividers belong to @v6que.
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There is no external life, there is no need to use any methods to recondition or train your mind. It is much faster, much easier and you are hundreds times happier just letting go of the mind. The process is one of letting go more and more until you find yourself having nothing, being nothing.
immediately i felt relieved upon reading this. being in the law of attraction & assumption, and shifting community meant that i had to "recondition" my mind if i wasn't manifesting my desires - to constantly think only positive affirmations. if i wanted to be blonde, i'd have to think "i am blonde, i love being blonde, i adore my blonde hair" constantly throughout the day. and it was tiring.
Stop thinking you are Vanessa, the thoughts of needing this or that drop away. By thinking you are it, you create a character who desires and then identify yourself with it. You can only have when you let go of thinking that you don't.
this seriously spoke to me as i can recall countless times i desperately tried any method i could, two cup, 5x55 challenge, pillow method, you name it! but it makes sense now. i was caught up with wanting and thus identified with a character who wanted, when in reality i always had.
i say "identified" and not "became" because, and correct me if i'm wrong, you cannot become anything - only identify with. the only thing you are is self.
I've said it before, you don't have to convince Vanessa that she's unreal. Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go... you're holding so tightly onto your ideas now, that's why you can't see their falsity. 19 You don't have to convince anyone of anything. What I teach here is to leave your mind alone, that is all. Don't go along with it. 2 Thoughts will keep on coming for a while, just now you know they have nothing to do with you.
i understand. simply observe the thoughts as clouds passing by, do not take them as truth and do not fight them. previously when i was still in the loa community i would combat them. a thought would enter, "you won't shift!" and i would fight him back, "yes i will! i already am in my desired reality! i am a master of shifting!" but this isn't right, as kelly said there's no need to convince anyone - especially your own mind.
First you start doubting "the facts", then you become indifferent to the facts, lastly there are no facts anymore and you can establish your own.
the beautiful process of shedding the ego! metamorphosis.
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her post is rather long (and informative, go read!!) so i don't want this entry to be taken up of me nodding and going "yep so true!". instead as i read through it yesterday and allowed the info to soak into my brain i felt enlightened. i wondered why on earth didn't i read through this earlier? for the first time since late 2020, my mind became quiet on its own.
i observed the world differently, as if it were a dream - a lucid dream, because that's exactly what it is. it was mind-blowingly peaceful. a damn breath of fresh air to be told to simply let go, wholly, instead of repeating affirmations 69x, get into SATS every night, etc.
although, i will admit a part of her feels anxious at being told to "let go". many of us from the loa, subliminal, and shifting community, LOVE doing things and putting in an active effort because it's been instilled in our minds that hard work pays off. however, i shall only observe her fears and treat it with indifference.🦋
if you made it this far, thank you for reading! ⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡
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f1goat · 1 year
Text
fwb x lando norris - part four
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In which you decide to become friends with benefits with Lando Norris, that can't be a bad idea right?
playlist x masterlist
part one part two part three
Two days later are Max and Lando sitting in front of each other at a nice lunchroom in Monaco. They have a small week of, not having to race this weekend again. In front of them are standing some plates. Max is eating some frites, while Lando tries to cut his burger with his knife without letting it fall apart. He takes a bite, enjoying the taste of it. Lando thinks about bringing you here with him, but then he remembers the rules between you two. 
“So, how did you end up in a situation like this?” Max asks him. 
Max is one of the few people that know about Lando his feelings for you. Max was the one who always comforted Lando about it. He knows that his friend is head over heals for you, but he also knows that this new situation is a bad idea. Max has no idea of what you feel for Lando, he just doesn’t want his friend to get his hopes up to be let down even harder then before. He wants to tell Lando something like that, maybe he will tell him something like that after hearing the whole story, but he already knows the reaction. Lando won’t stop getting involved with you, he probably thinks this is the only opportunity he has. Why would he give that up?
Lando explains the story to Max, he tries to be detailed so Max can understand him well. He leaves out some details, but can’t help himself to tell Max that you came over to his driver room to congratulate him after getting second last week. 
“I know it’s a mess Max, you don’t have to tell me. But what if this is the only real chance I have to get closer to her?” Lando ends his story by telling Max what he thinks, “I don’t want to ruin that.”
Max sighs softly. Of course he gets his friend. But it’s pretty stupid and this will blow up in his face at the end of it. This can’t end well. 
“Lando,” Max starts slowly, “do you really think this is smart?”
“No,” Lando answers honestly. 
“Okay, let me be honest with you. This isn’t going to end well. I don’t know Y/N personally, so I can’t speak about her intentions or feelings. But I do know you and you’re getting your hopes up that something romantic is going to happen between the two of you. Believe me, I do hope something like that happens, but if if doesn’t then you’ll be crushed,” Max tells his friend. 
Lando nods, “But what if it’s worth it?”
“Is the sex so good it’ll be worth it to end up at the bottom?” Max questions a bit surprised. 
Lando laughs, but doesn’t answer Max his question. 
“Come on Lando, it can’t be so good that it’s worth the trouble? Do you even know how many other options you have, there are probably hundred girls who are willing to fuck with you if you only ask,” Max exclaims. 
“She’s ruining it for me. I’m pretty sure I’ll never have the same sex with any other girl,” Lando confesses eventually. 
Max laughs, “You’re the absolute worst.” 
Lando drops the subject and talks with Max about their lives. He likes to hear about Max his life with Kelly and his stepdaughter. 
**
You’re texting for a bit with some friends when you see a notification that makes your heart skip a beat. You quickly reply.
Lando: I miss you
Lando: let’s do something
Y/N: like what?
Lando: send me your address, I’ll bring some snacks and we can watch a movie
Y/N: that sounds nice, bring some popcorn xx
You’re feeling overwhelmed because of Lando. When he told you that he wanted to do something you instantly thought that he meant sex. That’s how friends with benefits work, right? It feels nice that he wants to do something else with you. You feel yourself getting flustered because of it. 
A small hour later Lando is sitting next to you on the couch. You’re discussing movie choices with him. You decide to let him chose a movie, in the mean time you make the snacks ready that he brought with him. Lando has brought multiple kinds of popcorn, you look surprised at them. The normal sweet and salt popcorns are there, but he also brought multiple other one’s. Salted caramel, normal caramel, sweet and salty mix and even something with chocolate. Does he have some kind of love for popcorn you didn’t discover yet? He has also brought multiple kinds of chips. Does he not know how to shop properly for two persons you wonder. He brought so many things with him. 
“Lando, you do know that it’s just the two of us tonight right?” You ask when you return with some bowls full with popcorn and chips. 
“Yes,” Lando replies.
“Then why have you brought snacks as if you’re organizing a party?” You ask further.
Lando smiles, “I didn’t know which ones you’d like.”
“So you bought all of them?” You ask surprised.
“Not all of them!” Lando quickly says, “but I did bring some options, just to be safe.”
You laugh at the boy. 
That night you end up with Lando in your own bed for the first time. He is cuddled up against you, holding you close to himself. You are getting tired. Would it be weird just to sleep? You and Lando didn’t do anything expect for cuddling a bit and watching a movie together. Does he expect something more tonight? Or would he be fine with just sleeping as well? 
You turn your head a bit to look at Lando. You notice that his phone is stuck on the same TikTok video for over a while now. Lando his eyes are closed. His mouth is parted slightly, letting out soft snores every couple seconds. You smile at the sight of him. You take the phone out of his hands and put it into the charger. Then you press a small kiss against Lando his cheek. You position yourself in a comfortable sleep position against Lando. 
“Good night Lan,” you whisper softly before also falling asleep.
**
That next morning Lando is fucking you under your shower. You’re pressed up against the wall. Lando is holding you up while thrusting in and out of you. 
“You feel so good around me,” Lando tells you while increasing his pace. 
You let out a soft moan. You let your lips connect to Lando his neck. Kissing and sucking on it while he keeps increasing the pace he’s fucking you with. 
“It’s unfair,” Lando says with a husky voice, “I will never find anyone else that feels this good around my cock.”
“You’re ruining me,” you tell Lando, “I can never enjoy sex with anyone else as much as I do with you.”
Lando feels his cum dripping out of him while hearing your words. He can only hopes it true. He hopes he’s actually ruining you for everyone else. That would be a nice thing to do. If he can’t experience sex like this with any other girl, it’s only fair that you can’t experience it with any other man as well. Al though, it would be the best that neither of you ever has sex with another one again he thinks. That would be the absolute best.
**
That weekend you spent all of your time with Lando. You have left your own apartment to spent the weekend at his. It wasn’t totally planned, but you’re glad it happened. You have discovered a lot of new places at Lando his apartment. Mainly by being pressed up against them. Like now. You were trying to cook a nice meal for you and Lando, but something went wrong in that process.
“Taking me like a good girl,” Lando tells you after letting out a soft moan. 
He peels down the straps of your tank top, quickly leaving you in your bra. He decides to remove that was well. Lando let his free hand reach to your boobs, massaging them softly. You enjoy the feeling. It surreal to think about this situation. You’re lying over his kitchen counter, his finger is tracing figures on your clit while he’s fucking you from behind in the mean time. 
Lando presses multiple kisses around your neck and shoulders. He sucks on a bit of skin, leaving a small mark behind. He looks at it. He can’t deny that he likes the feeling of you marked as his. Fuck. He sucks on another bit of skin around your neck, making sure it’s low enough to hide since he doesn’t know if you’re comfortable with it. When his mouth leaves your neck, he quickly sees the red spot. He searches another spot. 
“W..what are you doing?” You ask a bit surprised. 
Lando stops quickly. His pace decreases. You sigh softly. You try to mimic his earlier actions, you need to keep feeling him. He keeps silent. 
“I didn’t tell you to stop, right?” You ask him. You grab his head softly from behind you, pressing it against your neck. “I just asked what you were doing,” you continue. Lando is already increasing his pace again. He grins at you. His dirty girl. 
“I’m showing other guys that you’re not interested in them,” Lando tells you with a new found confidence. You let out a soft chuckle. “Need to show everyone that you’re already getting fucked good enough,” Lando continues, “Maybe even George will get it and fuck off.”
He tests you for a bit when pressing his lips higher against your neck. He places some small kisses on top of it. He waits for you, wanting to give you the chance to say no. He would totally get it if you didn’t want to be marked somewhere that everyone could see. 
“Show them,” you tell Lando.
A moan comes from your mouth when Lando softly starts sucking on your skin. It’s all too much for you. His mouth pressed against your neck, his hand massaging your boobs, his finger making circles on your clit and his cock inside of you. Before you know it you’re reaching your high. Lando is quick to follow you. 
“You’re so fucking hot,” Lando tells you. You’re shaking on your legs. Lando smiles at you. He loves the way he makes you feel. He loves the fact that he’s the one who did that to you. 
“Go take a shower baby, I’ll finish dinner,” he tells you. 
You show him a grateful smile before walking to the bathroom. He’s way too sweet for somebody who just wants to fuck you. Things like this, and maybe the possessiveness, are making you wonder if there’s a chance between you two. A chance for something more. You quickly discard the thought. You can’t think like that. Thinking like that will ruin everything before you’ll know it. 
**
“So you spend the whole weekend at his?” Your friend asks amazed. You have told her about the thing between you and Lando a few days earlier. Now you’re sitting in a small cafe for some drinks together, you’ve a lot of catching up to do.
“Yeah,” you tell her.
“That’s not typical friends with benefits behavior,” she tells you a bit surprised.
“We mostly fucked?” You suggests.
Your friends just laughs at you, “You’re already in too deep.”
**
“Can’t you come work for McLaren next season,” Lando asks you with a playful smile.
It’s Tuesday and Lando is laying next to you on your bed. You were scrolling on your socials. Lando is pressed up against your back, cuddling you and holding you extremely close to yourself. Tomorrow the both of you are leaving to the next race destination, Zandvoort. It’s quite obvious that you can’t take the same plane, or even been seen together this weekend. It would break one of your carefully made rules.
Lando had been whining about it earlier today. Making up excuses about wanting to have sex with you on a plane, instead of telling you that he will miss you. The last days you were almost constantly by his side. 
“If you’ll be on my media team we can spend every race weekend together,” he suggests. 
You chuckle. 
“I don’t know yet what I’ll do next season,” you tell Lando, “Maybe I’ll start as a graphic designer somewhere.” 
He looks at you. “You can be the graphic designer of Quadrant,” he tells you quickly. 
“Or maybe I’ll just do nothing for a whole year,” you go on.
“Then you can come with me to every race,” Lando says without even thinking about it. 
You laugh. He’s too sweet. You can only hope he means every word of it. But deep down you know that he’s just playfully flirting with you and that he doesn’t mean the words he keeps telling you. 
“We will see Lan, let’s just focus on this weekend for now,” you tell him. 
“I do want to fuck you somewhere in Holland though,” Lando says, “I want to do it in as many countries as possible with you.”
**
The race is exciting to follow for you. Lando is fighting hard to keep his fifth place. George is also doing well this time, he’s third at this moment. You don’t care as much about that, you’re mainly focused on Lando. The only down part, George his podium will give you a lot of extra work. You thank yourself for already having some content ready for the scenario he’ll get a podium. You’re just in case content has always proven itself to be quite handy. 
When the race is finished George and Lando are still on the same position. Meaning you have a podium ceremony to attend. Normally you like the podium ceremonies, but this time you rather want to do something else. Or maybe someone else. When you walk towards the podium you quickly send a text to Lando.
Y/N: proud of u!!! You did so well!
You put your phone back in your pocket, before rushing to the rest of your team. You fake a smile and congratulate everyone with the amazing team result. In the mean time you keep holding on to your phone, shooting a small video of George while he’s getting out of the car but also waiting for a response from Lando. 
When George’s getting out of his car the interviewer is quick to reach him. The man quickly grabs his chance to ask some questions to George.
In the mean time Lando is also out of his car. He is proud of himself. Fifth is an amazing result. He talks about with his team members, following the podium with a side eye. He grabs his phone out of a locker, wanting to see if anyone -you- texted him. When he sees your text message, he feels a smile growing on his face. You’re too cute. He quickly texts you back.
Lando: thank u cutie, will I see you later?
“So George, want to thank someone in particular?” The interviewer asks.
Lando his attention is fixed on the screen by now, curious what George is going to say. He will probably thank Toto a thousand times for the amazing opportunity at Mercedes, or maybe Lewis for all of his tutoring. Lando thinks about who he will thank if he ever gets a question like that. Of course his team, but maybe also a more special someone that makes sure he’s in a good mood every weekend because of her support. It would be romantic if he could ever thank you. 
You also look at George. You can already dream his answer. It’s about the team, Toto and Lewis. He has given the same answer every time. When you were still his girlfriend you always dreamt that he would mention you one time, but he never did. You look at your phone screen, typing back a message to Lando.
Y/N: I hope so, but normally we go out with the team to celebrate a podium …
Y/N: i don’t know if I can make up an excuse, George will probably drag me over to the club
Lando sighs softly at your answer. He knows you can’t do anything about it, but he still feels disappointed. Maybe he can ask Max to come to the club with him? Or some team members of his own. 
“I’d like to thank Y/N.”
Did he hear that right? Lando turns all his attention to the screen. Did George just thank you? Why would the boy do that? Fuck. 
“I want to thank her for all of her amazing support.”
This has to be some kind of sick joke Lando thinks exhausted. George has never thanked you, but now when the two of you are broken up for a few months and Lando is trying to get to know you better (in a kinda weird way), George decides to thank you? Fucking hell. 
“And of course I also want to thank the team ..”
Lando tries to spot you in the crowd. That isn’t hard since the camera’s quickly find you after George his statement. He recognizes your nervous look directly. You’re shaking. Are you happy? Are you impressed because of George words? Lando can only hope that isn’t the case. He sighs. If you were only wearing his jumper now then he would have felt so much better. But now everyone thinks of you as George his girl once again. The only thing that’s making him feel slightly better is when he sees the small red mark in your neck when the cameras zoom in on your face.
You don’t know what to do. You know that there are multiple cameras focused on you right now, so you can’t send George some sort of angry look. What would happen if you walk away? You want nothing more than to scream at George. What is he thinking. With him making statements like this everyone will think the two of you are still dating or dating again. Fuck. This is so fucking bad. You try to turn around, wanting nothing more then to walk away from all of this. Toto is quick to grab your pulse, looking sternly at you. 
“I’m not feeling well,” you tell him, “I want to go.”
“After the podium. You wouldn’t want George to miss you with the podium, right?” Toto asks with a fake sweet tone. It’s making you sick. You sigh. 
Lando can’t help himself, he’s actually angry on everyone right now. He was in such a happy mood, it was such a good day. The race went well, he has brought some nice points with him, you texted him a cute thing as congratulations but now this. He types on his phone again, giving your earlier messages a reaction. 
Lando: forget it, will see u later.
When you read Lando his message you feel your heart sinking. You notice the harsh tone in the message. Great, he’s also mad. You don’t answer it. You plan for yourself to get drunk tonight to forget all about this mess. 
In his dressing room is Lando making the same plans. He decides to ask some coworkers and other drivers to go out tonight. He can use some distraction. He needs to clear his mind. Because right now, he can only think about you and George. What will happen next? Will you take George back after his sweet words? Maybe you did actually use him as a rebound. 
His phone vibrates, Lando can’t suppress the hope that it’s a message from you. When he reads the notification he sees that it’s Max who’s texting him. So the podium ceremony is over. 
Max: did you hear those words from George?
Max: you better go talk with y/n, she looked so uncomfortable after it
Max: this was probably so humiliating for her, everyone will think that they’re back together
Lando: heard them. Maybe she wants him back, idk anymore
Lando: join me for the club tonight?
part five
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itsgxsly · 1 year
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THANKFUL
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Summary: although they are annoying, Lando appreciates that the paparazzi capture a beautiful moment between the two of you while you celebrate your anniversary
Pairing: lando norris x reader
Warnings: mention of sex
Word Count: 962
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A year ago your life had completely changed when you had met a certain British driver at a party in Monaco. Lando was DJing that night for Max's birthday and you were there since you were a mutual friend of Kelly and Max. You had flirted all night and now, a year later, you were thankful for that day, because you had met the one you thought was the love of your life.
Lando showed you day after day how much he loved you. But today was so much sweeter than you could even have imagined in your time together. Today was your anniversary and despite the time that had passed, the feelings you two had were still as intact as the first day. For Lando today was the perfect day to spoil you more than ever, since today he had an excuse for it.
You had spent part of the morning lying in bed, making love and enjoying the warmth that the other transmitted. After some rounds and a few cuddling sessions in between, you were up and ready to spend the rest of the morning on a yacht down the coast. You clearly knew the risk involved in dating someone famous like Lando who was admired by people and hounded by the press for every little detail of his private life. But even so, you still didn't get used to finding a camera photographing the private moments between you and your partner durong your time together. Even though it was exhausting and tiresome having to put up with the photos every time you and Lando did something in public, you didn't want to let it ruin your day, so you ignored anything related to the press. That day was reserved for Lando and you.
Now it was night and you were in the bathroom of the room getting ready for the date you had planned. You finished painting your lips and by the reflection in the mirror you saw Lando gawking at you with a lovesick smile. Turning towards him you placed your hands on his cheeks, kissing his lips tenderly.
"You look so beautiful, my love" Lando spoke as you separated.
"You look handsome too, baby" and it was true that the white shirt and light blue pants he was wearing made him look so hot that you almost considered not getting out of bed for the rest of the night.
"Thanks love. I think we're ready to go now, right?" And with both of you already prepared, you left home to go to the restaurant where you would have dinner.
Once you were both sitting at your respective table enjoying the delicious food on the menu while you were talking, you noticed a man a few tables away from you with a camera in his hand. Obviously, he was again a paparazzi who would want to get some exclusive photos of Lando Norris celebrating his anniversary with his girlfriend. You sighed louder than you should and Lando heard it. He turned his head to look in the same direction as you and then he noticed the camera taking pictures. He turned back to you with guilt filling his features.
“I'm so sorry about those things, my love. If it weren't for me, we wouldn't have to put up with the fact that they don't leave us privacy. But we can't even enjoy a simple dinner” Lando spoke quickly, apologizing for placing us knowing that it wasn't easy for you to carry these things. Since he had started dating you, his fear that you would leave him because he could not bear his way of life terrified him.
“You know it's not your fault, Lando. You can't do anything about it, baby, you shouldn't apologize” you reassured him.
“But I feel like I have to. I know it's not easy that they're always invading your personal life and it's partly my fault” Lando continued to blame himself. He was looking at his food plate almost sadly.
"Lando, look at me" you called him and waited for him to look at you to speak again. “Stop blaming yourself for this stupid thing. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to go out with you and I don't regret it, okay? I don't mind putting up with thousands of paparazzi every day, if that means I can be with you” you told him all that while you grabbed his hands on the table caressing his knuckles.
Hearing you say those words calmed Lando's bad feeling, who stood up and approached you to kiss you lovingly on the lips and then on the forehead.
"Come on, get up" he grabbed your hand, getting you to your feet.
"Where are we going?" You looked at him confused as he carefully dragged you out of the restaurant.
"We are going home. We haven't finished celebrating our anniversary yet. And I want to make it up to you properly” he turned to look at you with a mischievous smile on his face. You laughed at his words and kissed him again before you got in the car to go home together and celebrate your first year together properly. The next day, Lando woke up before you and after watching you sleep peacefully on his chest, he picked up his phone to check social media. The photo that he found as soon as he opened instagram brought a smile to his face. It was you and him during dinner last night and you looked so in love in the image that it almost seemed unreal. He liked the photo and turned off his phone, putting it aside to hug you. Maybe he should be thankful with that paparazzi for immortalizing that beautiful scene.
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moontrinemars · 21 days
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Asteroid Pan in Natal and Synastry Charts
Once again, this information is compiled for my use and posted for shared convenience. Read my bio for a disclaimer and practice common courtesy if you're interested in using my words or work.
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To start, we have to understand the context of Pan, whether as a mythic figure, a divine patron, or both.
Pan is a rustic god, whose domain extends over shepherds, hunting, panic, and folk practices, especially of music or prophecy. He is a companion to Dionysus, and travels with his nymphs.
🐑 Often, but not always, he is depicted as a satyr. Other times, he is represented with horns, but no hooves. Still other times, he is shown as humans, but in the company of satyrs, as well as normal goats.
🐑 He is mischievous, a giver of terror, as well as an eager pursuer of love and pleasure. But he is also a guardian of flocks, a practitioner of animal husbandry, so he is not entirely flippant and impulsive.
🐑 Essentially, Pan was a playful, festive spirit who enjoyed toying with the nerves of strangers and engaging in bestial mating rituals, but he also fully committed himself when guarding the vulnerable. He likes to watch people squirm, but he doesn't want to see the innocent flock actually harmed. Thus...
Asteroid Pan [4450] represents teasing, stimulation, excitement, and impulse control (or lack thereof). He also correlates to roles and relations based in pursuit, such as leader-follower and hunter-target.
Copy-text: 4450,3671,2063,771,577,65,69230,875,3360,60
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Prominent natal placements of Pan indicate how such a position as his is fulfilled or obtained by the native.
For others who practice a faith that involves some form of the hellenic pantheon, I have listed how I interpret natal blessings from object-asteroid aspects here and are interested in my approach. You can interweave those basic interpretations with the ones I’ve provided and get a rough approximation of how I'd interpret the aspect.
Tight and significant conjunctions will create a sort of "wildcard leader" aspect to the native, empowering the native to vacillate between solemnity and joy when engaging with that role, while oppositions will invite a tension or controversy (that ultimately contributes to personal growth, if the native is healthy) from either pursuit of desire or acts of guidance.
🐑 John F. Kennedy is a great example of a Pan-Sun conjunction native. A steady leader who instilled feelings of unity, known for his lustful pursuits, maintaining good humor in the midst of strife, but certainly someone who spooked certain contemporaries.
🐑 Fascinatingly, his partner, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, has her own special relevant placement, a Pan-Venus conjunction opposite Pluto. Venus is the planet of values and is correlated to ideals and partners, so a conjunction draws her rational mind and physical needs to Pan-like personalities. Pluto opposition correlates this magnetism to her own generational traumas and transformations. That her Pan-Sun partner was assassinated sitting right beside to her? Worth noting.
🐑 Beyond her connection to her husband, however, Onassis was also a leader of the flock herself in her time as First Lady, mainly in that she became the face of an aristocratic American style. While her status is permanently tied to the tragedy of her narrative and the shock of the JFK assassination, her light, 'tasteful' ensembles contributed to the guidelines of upper-crust American femininity.
🐑 Meanwhile, Marie Antoinette had Pan conjunct Pluto, and we know where her indulgence lead her. Beyond the obvious tie from debauchery to death, this aspect also suggests a dread or anxiety tied to the concept of shepherding, or being in a position to guide.
A few other noteworthy individuals with Pan conjunctions and oppositions include:
Rita Hayworth, Machine Gun Kelly, and Empress Josephine all have Pan conjunct their Ascendant.
Lucille Ball's Pan is conjunct her Pallas-Saturn conjunction.
Pan conjunct Neptune was an aspect in Catherine the Great's chart. Meanwhile, Pan opposite Neptune features in the chart of Fiona Apple.
Pan conjunct Lilith is present in the charts of both Kurt Cobain and Princess Diana!
Marilyn Monroe's Pan was opposite her Vertex, and thus conjunct her Antivertex.
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Squares and trines create relationships between that planet's domain and acts of pursuit and guardianship.
🐑 Like Jackie O, Tobias Forge of Ghost also has a Pan-Pluto opposition, but this is complemented by tight trines with Neptune and multiple Muse asteroids, as well as a square with Orpheus. In this case the aspect with Pluto manifests with an alternative influence on culture, as a frontman for a band which inspires both fanatical devotion and a consistent amount of controversy.
🐑 His project itself is a mockery of the powerful institution that is the Catholic Church, but concerts and fan spaces are a place of comfort, and funds from a certain cover song are literally donated to a charity which organizes safe spaces for the vulnerable (summer camps for trans kids).
🐑 Obviously, Neptune and the Muses correlate to art, which connects those Pan themes perfectly to his music. Even better, Neptune rules spirituality, delusion, and mystery. The band's theme is religious, and all members used to be anonymous until a dismissed court case forced Tobias to publicly identify himself, though all other members retain anonymity.
🐑 Britney Spears's Pan is trine her Vertex, Sun, and Lilith, as well as being opposite her Moon. The trine aspects, especially with the Sun, positions a spotlight on her ability to collect massive amounts of fans (aka followers) by making her own choices, and committing to the honest, unapologetic performance of sensual, intimate power.
🐑 The Pan-Moon opposition further speaks to her past and sense of self being in direct conflict with follower-following relationships. This may reflects her struggle to reclaim personal financial autonomy from her former guardians, but I'd shift focus to her relationship with the public, and how contentious it became when she tried to grow and leave her chaste teen image behind, prioritizing adult expression over imposed responsibility to censor herself to comply with outrage from parents.
🐑 This contention actually fed into and fueled Britney's narrative: the rejection of her after she expressed her wild side empowered her to pursue her desires as a new type of female role model, one that had been slut-shamed but come out the other side all the more iconic and beloved. (There's a lot more that worth exploring there, too.)
🐑 Liam Gallagher of Oasis has his Pan squaring his Sun, Mars, and Midheaven. Anyone who knows the fraught history of the band won't be surprised to see an aspect that promises challenges in how taking a leadership role relates to overall growth, animal instincts, and the personal pinnacle of honor.
A few other noteworthy individuals with natal Pan trines and squares (along with other placements) include:
Megan Fox's Pan is conjunct her Mercury, trine her Mars-Ascendant conjunction, and square her Moon.
Britney Spears's Pan is trine her Vertex, Sun, and Lilith, and opposite her Moon.
Liam Gallagher of Oasis has his Pan squaring his Sun, Mars, and Midheaven.
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Major Synastry: What Synastry Aspects with Pan Mean
Synastry involving Pan indicates a relationship which instills anxiety, lust, and comfort simultaneously.
Conjunctions reveal a focal point of frenetic, kinetic energy in the dynamic. The Pan individual engages with the other's object like a big, red button that is begging to be pressed. They know it will fire up the other's nerves in whichever way, but it's just so tempting...
🐑 For example, two natives with a double Pan conjunction share a raw and mutual lust, a desire to play chase with one another. This can mean quick, stimulating, and playful foreplay. Both also want to see the other person's desire. This placement doesn't necessarily want a hunt - it wants a game, some sort of race or play-fight where both members are equally participatory.
🐑 It also indicates a willingness to play with each other's minds. On some level, both individuals like the idea of having the power to give the other a scare. They each like the feeling of messing with the other's head, no matter how much they care.
🐑 House overlays are crucial for mutual conjunctions. I'm looking at a Pan-Pan conjunction that lands in one of the native's 12th every time, regardless of zodiac and house system. This empowers the aspect of fear in the relationship for this native. It also transfers their pursuit to the realm of fantasy. They may desire to take that role in the relationship, but they are more likely to imagine it than to actually act upon it.
🐑 It also means the other person in the relationship may have no idea the lust is mutual. The 12th house native relegates it too well. This might frustrate the other, making them feel denied or rejected. They may sense reciprocation, but they feel a need to push the 12th house person until they break down and express it. But the 12th house native also won't be able to clearly see the other's playfulness and aggression for what it is: a signal of lust and even care, missed due to doubt.
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🐑 For another example, Pan conjunct Saturn would give the Pan native an easy way to push the Saturn native's buttons. Saturn will clam up at any suggestiveness from or about Pan, mostly because any wildness they exhibit makes them feel less in control.
🐑 Ultimately, however, Pan is a guardian of the flock as much of a member of Dionysus's retinue. Pan can contribute to Saturn's goals and take the reins when necessary. Pan makes Saturn anxious, but ultimately Saturn comes to see the potential for stability there.
🐑 Saturn has major power to turn Pan on, but it takes a while to build. Pan may not consider Saturn that way at first, only to realize after some time that Saturn drives them absolutely crazy, and then they'll be hard pressed to stop fantasizing over them.
🐑 Pan is a follower as much as a pursuer, and if Saturn accepts their advances, Pan will adopt them as one of their own, and be sure to care for them regardless of whatever chaos is going on. If Saturn shies away, Pan may get frustrated and lash out, or may try to tear down whatever stability Saturn relies upon.
🐑 Princess Diana had her Pan conjunct the Pluto of Prince Charles, and Dodi al Fayed had his Pan conjunct her Ceres-Vesta conjunction.
🐑 Diana's ability to garner a following is tied to the tragedies defining Charles personally as well as those of his generation. Diana's grief and devotion connects to Dodi's capacity as a pursuer and follower. If you know anything even generally about these three, you likely immediately understand how accurate this is.
A few other noteworthy pairs with Pan conjunctions in their synastry:
Empress Josephine's Pan was conjunct Napoleon I's Vertex.
Prince Philip's Pan was conjunct Queen Elizabeth II's Pallas-Pluto conjunction.
Nancy Spungen's Pan was conjunct Sid Vicious's Lilith.
Megan Fox's Pan is conjunct Machine Gun Kelly's Mercury-Pallas conjunction.
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Oppositions indicate a more fixed pursuer-pursued dynamic. There's a similar flow of energy, but it seeps out, and is both more confrontational and more indirect than with conjunctions. Pan seeks to provoke the other into revealing that part of themself.
🐑 For example, I see Pan opposite a Chiron-Juno conjunction. This is already made more complex by the involvement of two objects, but essentially, the Pan native enjoys maneuvering the other into exposing their romantic hurts, and even gets pleasure from indirectly forcing them into embodying a spousal or sensual archetype. Chiron-Juno finds the teasing, erratic attention of Pan frustrating, both sexually and emotionally, but also compelling.
🐑 So, that sounds really abstract, but how this plays out in real life, is we have a pair where one is always needling at the other about their experiences with relationships. Maybe the Chiron-Juno native is inexperienced, or has traumas. Once the Pan native learns about this, they find it hard to resist dredging those up whenever the chance arises. Something in them just likes watching the other squirm over their romantic insecurities.
🐑 As for the second part, the Pan native will find it exciting when the other has to fill the roles represented by Chiron and Juno. This is the soul's caretaker (Chiron) and the erotic counterpart in body and mind (Juno). Combined, we see a mistress-as-missus figure, the second wife, or simply the erotic healer. Chiron's link to the 'hurt healer' and Juno's statistical link to infidelity and eroticism may also suggest the willingness of the
🐑 Again, houses play a big role here. In this chart, Pan falls into the Pan native's tropical 6th and sidereal 7th, so the other's Chiron-Juno conjunction falls into their tropical 12th and sidereal 1st. The reason why the Pan native feels the need to push the other's buttons about is because they see the other's pain as something hidden from them that is key to understanding their place in this world, and yet also is a reflection of a crucial part of themselves, and so they feel the need to take control in their day to day interactions and of their relationship, specifically by exhibiting the leadership and predatory traits of Pan.
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🐑 Let's look at another chart. I see Pan opposite a Pluto-Nymphe conjunction. Nymphe is correlated to nymphs, who commonly kept company with Pan in his travels. This looks like a relationship with both natural comradery and tension.
🐑 The Pluto-Nymphe individual may alternate between playfully elusive and intensely confrontational. The individual is both drawn to and afraid of being captured or hunted, and exposes their wilder side when they want to intimidate others. Their visceral desires and bright spirits only make them seem more ethereal, and thus, out of reach.
🐑 However, this only makes for all the more fun a game to play in the eyes of the Pan native. No ethereal spirit is above a good trick and no force of nature is too powerful to chase down, and besides, a target that positions itself as out of reach is only going to be more satisfying to take in hand.
🐑 On the whole, the amusement and protectiveness that Pan brings can provide some much needed levity to the Pluto-Nymphe native's fears, but the opposition and the asteroid involved will make the link a magnetic, if at times humbling and challenging, one.
🐑The Pan native will also encourage the other's sexuality, and may try to provoke, trick, or guide the other in their embodiment of raw sensual power as a natural force. In fact, the Pan native might be most delighted to find that when pushed to the brink, the Pluto-Nymphe native turns the tables and puts them in a position of prey instead!
Some noteworthy examples of Pan oppositions in synastry:
Napoleon I's Pan was opposite Empress Josephine's Lilith.
Prince Albert's Pan was opposite Queen Victoria's Vesta.
Nancy Spungen's Pan was opposite Sid Vicious's Pluto.
Megan Fox's Pan is opposite Machine Gun Kelly's Pluto-Lilith-Juno conjunction.
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I had originally intended to go into sextiles and quintiles in natal charts; squares, tries, sextiles, and quintiles in synastry charts; as well as how aspects to specific related asteroids play out, but I think that's a little ambitious considering everything on my plate right now. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed the post, and as always...
If you're interested in more interpretations of Pan in the natal or synastry chart (or even the divisional/harmonic charts) feel free to reply, message, ask, or reblog! I have a lot of projects I'm working on but I love to chat.
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DIAS Black Friday Sale
Once a year, the Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies (DIAS), offers a sale for Black Friday -- DIAS is one of the major publishers for Celtic Studies, many of the best studies of medieval Irish material have come through there.
Some books that I recommend, personally:
Fergus Kelly, A Guide to Early Irish Law (26.25 Euro, normally 35) (THE introduction to law in medieval Ireland)
"", Early Irish Farming (26.25 Euro, normally 35) (Everything you wanted to know about day to day life in medieval Ireland but were afraid to ask. Literally. Everything.)
Medieval Irish Prose
Fergus Kelly, Audacht Morainn (18.75 Euro, normally 25)
Are you planning on becoming a medieval Irish king? Do you want to know what you should do to involve the total destruction of the natural order? Then this is the text for you! Now with English translation!
In all seriousness, this text is used a LOT with regards to studies of ideal kingship in medieval Ireland.
Cecile O'Rahilly, The Táin from the Book of Leinster (26.25 Euro, usually 35)
I'll be real with you, lads: I hate Cú Chulainn. I hate him. I hate his smug, misogynistic face. His creepy multi-pupiled eyes. The shitty way he treats Emer. The way that his presence is like this black hole in the study of medieval Irish literature that means that the Ulster Cycle can get a prestigious yearly conference held in its honor while the other cycles are left with either crumbs or outright dismissal. I think the Táin is boring and episodic as a piece of lit and I've never found anything overly redeeming about it over any other piece of medieval Irish literature, especially since imo other pieces of literature do women (and homoeroticism) much better and get much less praise for it.
...that being said. It's important. It IS iconic, both as a piece of medieval Irish literature and, in general, to Irish literature. Its status as The Irish Iliad means that, if you want to study medieval Irish stuff...you have to read the Táin. And this is a version of the Táin that you might not have gotten, translated and edited by a master of Old Irish, with commentary.
"", Táin Bó Cúailnge: recension I (10 Euro, normally 35)
See above.
Early Irish History and Genealogy
T.F. O'Rahilly, Early Irish History and Genealogy (30 Euro, normally 40)
So. On the record, a lot of what he says here is absolutely not currently believed in the field. Just. No. BUT. There's a reason why I always recommend him anyway, and it's because if you're serious about doing a study of Irish Mythology, whatever we take that to mean...you will not be able to avoid this man. His ideas were very popular for decades and still often are to people who don't really focus on mythology. It's better to know where these ideas come from and to identify them than not, and O'Rahilly, in his defense, had an *excellent* knowledge of his sources. It's dense, it's difficult (rather like the author himself, from the accounts I've heard), but it's necessary if you really want to attack this.
Joan Radner, Fragmentary Annals of Ireland (22.50, normally 30)
There is so much weird shit in the Fragmentary Annals. So much.
Welsh
Patrick Sims Williams, Buchedd Beuno: The Middle Welsh Life of St Beuno (22.50 Euro, normally 30)
I know what you're thinking: "Why the FUCK are they recommending this book about a random Welsh saint? Answer: Because this is how I learned Middle Welsh. The introduction to Welsh at the front of the book + the VERY good index at the back is still one of the best ways to learn Middle Welsh. Also if anyone was watching the Green Knight film and going "Why is there a lady with her head chopped off?" this answers that question.
 R. L. Thomson, Pwyll Pendeuic Dyuet: the first of the Four Branches of the Mabinogi, edited from the White Book of Rhydderch, with variants from the Red Book of Hergest (15 Euro, normally 20)
Once you've gotten enough of a hang of Middle Welsh to know the basics, it's time to dive into the classics, and what better way to do it than with the Mabinogi, starting at the very beginning, with the First Branch? Personally, I dislike a lot of Thomson's orthographic decisions, but, hey, it's the First Branch, and that's Middle Welsh orthography for you.
Ian Hughes, Math uab Mathonwy (22.50 Euro, normally 30)
The Fourth Branch, my beloved. Incest, rape, bestiality (well...pseudo bestiality, really), creating a new life while not being willing to deal with the consequences of it...it truly has it all. Not for the faint of heart, but absolutely worth the read if you can stomach it because imo it handles its themes very well and it's incredibly haunting.
And a lot more -- go in, shop around, see what's available. Even with the older books, they're often things that we're still referencing in some way into the present.
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