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artificialqueens · 4 years

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2003 (1/2) (Vanique) - Ortega

a/n: VANIQUE MUST RIIIIIIISE!!!! ayo team, welcome to this. i pulled this ship from virtually nowhere when i was writing n19f and people seemed to like i as much as i did, so i wrote these two together for the fic challenge. i’ve split this fic into two halves, as they’re two very different vibes. this part follows Vanessa and Monique as they go through primary school and then start their first couple years at high school, so it’s definitely more platonic than anything else but it’s cute! also overall this was inspired by two songs, one being 2003 by Todrick and the other being I Choose You by Kiana Ledé which will be the title of the next part, so look out for that. i so so sosososo hope u enjoy, bc i highkey love this pairing a lot. lots of lo-ove, by-ee!

tw: implied child neglect and drug use

summary: Vanessa Mateo and Monique Heart start school in the year 2003. They love girlbands, superheroes and football, and they’re best friends forever. At least, that’s the plan.

***

The room smells of squeaky floors and play-dough. It’s not like anything she’s ever smelt before, but it’s weirdly comforting. She’s sat on a carpet patterned with all kinds of fruit. It doesn’t have pineapple (which is her favourite), but that’s okay. The walls are covered in colourful paper, an arts-and-crafts rainbow explosion. There’s words too, different curly and spiky shapes making letters. She knows one has a “V” in it because that comes at the start of her name and it looks the same, but she can’t read any of the writing yet. Some of the kids in nursery could already read and one of the boys could even write stories. Vanessa couldn’t. She still can’t, but that’s okay. She can write her name and say please and thank you in two different languages and she knows how to count up to 12 (she gets stuck after that, but she’ll learn the rest).

She looks around the carpet. There’s a girl nearby her with two huge black plaits and huge brown eyes to match. Her skin is dark, and Vanessa feels comforted by the fact she’s not alone in sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the Snow Whites and Cinderellas and Auroras and their matching porcelain-skinned Disney princes that are sitting on the carpet with her. She scratches her head, feeling the bow her Mama tied in dark her hair shift. She hopes she’s not made a mess of it. Then Mama would be mad.

Her teacher’s been talking for a while now. It seems like she’s been talking for two hours. Maybe she has been talking for two hours. Vanessa looks up at the clock, even though she doesn’t know how to tell the time yet so the information is less than useless to her. Bored, her eyes drift towards the girl she was looking at before. She’s wearing a white polo shirt and a red pinafore, and her white socks have got red bows on them. Vanessa is jealous. Her new jumper with the school logo is scratchy on the inside and she told her Mama that her leggings have a hole at the knee but they can’t get any new ones until she gets paid.

She bum-shuffles across to sit beside the girl, keeps her eyes trained on the teacher like a sniper as she leans in and whispers. “You look like a princess.”

The girl gives her a big smile. Vanessa knows she should say thank you, but maybe she doesn’t know as much about manners as Vanessa does. The girl whispers to her. “You look like Meg from Hercules.”

Vanessa smiles at her. She’s seen Hercules- it’s not her favourite, but she’s seen it- and Meg was her favourite character. “Thanks.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers. There’s a pause before she hisses to her again. “My name’s Monique, what’s yours?”

“I’m Vanessa,” she replies quietly. Vanessa picks at the hole in her leggings. It’s now about the size of a 1p coin. She knows about coins, at least. “Hey, you wanna play princesses at playtime?”

Monique nods excitedly, then whips her head around, scared. Vanessa looks up at her teacher. Her eyebrows are almost joined-up and there’s little lines on her forehead and her eyes have gone all hard. Vanessa knows this means she’s feeling cross.

“Vanessa, Monique! It’s rude to talk while someone else is talking. We don’t do that in school.”

Vanessa knows she should nod, but her stomach feels all fizzy and she finds herself frowning at her teacher instead. Monique says sorry. Maybe Vanessa should say sorry too. She decides she doesn’t want to.

“She’s been talking for about 5 hours. Maybe even 4 years,” Vanessa whispers to Monique again. Monique covers her mouth with her hands and lets out a tiny giggle. Their teacher gives them a suspicious look again and Monique shuffles away from Vanessa. Vanessa knows this means she doesn’t want to get into trouble. As soon as the teacher starts talking again, Vanessa hisses over to her.

“Monique!”

No answer. “Monique!”

Monique turns around a little bit to face her. “What?”

Vanessa cups her mouth with her hands so the girl can hear her. “Do you want to be best friends?”

Monique gives her another big smile. It makes Vanessa feel happy too. “Okay!”

She’s only been here for five hours, maybe even four years, and she’s already made a best friend. This school thing is easy.

***

It’s the two of them for life. Vanessa just knows it. They’re BFFAEAE (best friends forever and ever and ever). They get in trouble for chatting at school and their long-suffering teacher monitors them like a hawk. They’re banned from sitting near each other on the carpet because even when Vanessa tries to listen (even if it’s P.E., her favourite), she’ll think of something funny she just has to share with Monique, and of course Monique is incapable of laughing quietly so she lets out a screech that completely disrupts the whole lesson and earns them both five minutes off their reward time. Vanessa doesn’t even mind losing reward time. They sit at the same table while everyone else plays and they write out the class rules, but Vanessa doesn’t mind because it’s the only time they’ll ever be allowed to sit together in class.

In the playground and after school it’s a different story. In Reception they play princesses and animal rescue with their threadbare, well-loved stuffed animals they sneak into school in their schoolbags. By Year 1 they’re popstars learning dance routines and designing album covers and falling out because Monique wants to call their double-act The Strawberry Babies and Vanessa knows that obviously The Starlights is a far superior name. In the Summer between Year 1 and Year 2 Vanessa’s Mama takes them to the cinema to see Fantastic Four and so for the whole of Year 2 they’re obsessed with superheroes, rolling around on the tarmac play-fighting with each other and getting bruised knees and scraped elbows and so far removed from the girly girls they were when they started school.

Vanessa knows everything about Monique and Monique knows everything about her, because that’s what it means to be best friends. Vanessa knows that Monique’s brother is eleven and goes to Big School and doesn’t play with her and slams his door and plays rap music that Monique can hear when she’s in her room with the door closed. Monique stays in the high flats with her brother and her gran.

“Do you have a Mama?” Vanessa remembers asking her one day in the playground, drawing in the dirt with sticks.

Monique’s voice had been quiet. She hadn’t looked up from drawing in the dirt. “Uh-huh.”

“Where is she?”

Monique had shrugged, scribbled out the happy face she’d drawn. “Gran says she’s not allowed to see us any more.”

Vanessa could tell talking about her Mama had made Monique sad, so they don’t talk about that any more. Dads are off the table too. Vanessa doesn’t know hers and Monique doesn’t either. Vanessa doesn’t really need a Dad. Her Mama works in the supermarket and keeps their tiny pebbledashed council house in the estate spotlessly clean and is always on time to pick Vanessa up from school. She drags Vanessa kicking and screaming to mass every Sunday (Vanessa doesn’t like it because all the chanting scares her) and threatens her with El Coco until she’s blue in the face. Monique goes to church too but hers sounds more fun- they laugh and clap and sing their hearts out. Monique sings the songs in school. Vanessa thinks she sounds like she could be in the Sugababes, not that she’s allowed to listen to the Sugababes.

Monique comes round to Vanessa’s house every few weeks or so. She lives close, and Monique is allowed to walk round on her own. Vanessa is jealous of that. She wishes her Mama would let her go places on her own. She tells her that one day and Mama howls with laughter, says she’s not allowed out on her own until she’s at least twenty-one. Vanessa thinks she’s joking. Thinks.

Vanessa gets excited when Monique visits because she knows her Mama will make an effort with the dinner. That’s unfair and disrespectful, she knows; Mama works hard to put food on the table, but her stuffed arepas are just better than rice and beans (and microwave meals if it’s near her pay day, which her Mama makes Vanessa promise she’ll never tell her Abuela they eat). They sit and eat with their bowls on their laps on the sofa in front of the TV and watch The Weakest Link. They sometimes get the questions right even though they’re only 7 and the people on the show are fully-grown adults. Monique is smart, though. Smarter than Vanessa. Vanessa thinks she’s smarter than their teacher. She’s the best at writing in the class and the best at maths too, and she can read any word at all.

Vanessa’s not that smart, but she knows Monique is, and she thinks she’s amazing.

It’s a grey-clouded day in July in the Summer of 2007 when Monique pulls up outside Vanessa’s house on a brand new bike. It’s blue and the seat is close to the ground and the spokes are all shiny. Vanessa runs out to see her, sticks her feet in between the bars of the rusty iron gate at the front of their house and swings back and forth as Monique talks.

“My brother got me it. Someone from the skatepark didn’t want it any more and it’s too small for him, so I guess it’s mine now,” Monique shrugs happily. There’s a smudge of dirt on her face that Vanessa knows her Mama will wipe off with a hot cloth if she sees it. “It’s kinda big for me but it works okay. You got a bike, right?”

Vanessa cringes, thinks about the pink bike with streamers at the handles that lives in their back garden and is probably crumbling away with rust. “I got one, but it ain’t as cool as yours.”

Monique smiles, satisfied with the compliment. “Well, go get it an’ we can go for a ride.”

Vanessa blushes and thinks of how many cool points she’s going to lose when she tells Monique that she has to ask her Mama first. Monique laughs at her good-humouredly, sticks her tongue out at her and calls her a baby. Monique turned 9 two months ago and Vanessa has to wait four more to catch up with her, so the comment stings but she pretends it doesn’t.

To her surprise and delight, her Mama lets her go out on her bike with Monique but only if they just go round the estate and they’re back before dinner time. Vanessa has never been able to follow the rules, though, so when Monique tells her she knows a place by the river under the bridge with a scrub of sand like it’s the seaside then Vanessa doesn’t hesitate to follow her. Vanessa wonders how Monique seems to know the city so well: she takes her on a journey through dark underpasses with yellow strip lights and bright scrawls of graffiti, narrow bridges above busy roads that Vanessa tries to pretend don’t scare her, secret little paths through the big park Vanessa goes to with her Mama sometimes. They pedal wildly and everything zooms by so quickly that even though she has no idea where she is, Vanessa feels safe. Any vaguely scary things they see (big dogs) are gone a second later, and Vanessa knows Monique would protect her if anything scary did happen. She would protect her too. That’s just what best friends do.

They arrive at the place Monique had been talking about. The brown stone bridge hangs high above them but Vanessa can still hear the cars on it pass by. They’re drowned out slightly by the babbling of the river, inky and cold and black with jaggy rocks underneath its surface. There’s huge clusters of boulders that they both have to climb over to get to the sand and they have to leave their bikes leaning against the wall on the path. It’s not a pretty place, but it’s still a little bit magical. It has the aura of adventure rather than beauty and they’d be more likely to discover pirates here than fairies, which is just how Vanessa likes it. Together they chuck stones into the water haphazardly, their hands growing more grubby by the minute and the dirt black under their nails.

“What’s that?” Vanessa narrows her eyes, reaches down to pick up the object she’s spotted. It’s embedded in the sand and she can’t really see what it is, but it looks like what she got her injections with at the doctor’s. Monique races over to see what she’s talking about and pushes her hand away quickly. Vanessa snaps. “Hey!”

“You’re not s'posed to touch that, it’s dangerous!” Monique cries, outraged. “What if you got stabbed?”

Vanessa snorts a laugh. “It’s ain’t a knife, M'nique, it’s only a stupid needle."

Then, almost as if Monique’s warning had been a dare, Vanessa picks it out the sand with her thumb and index finger, holds it by the plastic tube. Monique’s face falls. "Stop it, ‘Ness, that’s creepy.”

Vanessa laughs, starts making the needle float about while making spooky noises. Monique takes a step back, her face all panicked. Vanessa gives a giggle. Monique’s acting like a scaredy-cat; she does that sometimes and it’s funny to wind her up. She usually takes it well but she’s growing more distressed than she usually does. Her eyes are all wide and Vanessa stops playing the moment she sees tears start welling up in them. She immediately drops the needle into the river and crosses over to her, her trainers leaving huge Nike ticks in the sand.

“Hey, what’s the matter? I’m sorry,” she mumbles. She regrets joking around now, and Monique is wiping at her eyes and sniffing and smearing dirt across her face.

“They used to be all ‘round my house before we lived with Gran,” she sniffs. Vanessa gets a churning feeling in her tummy. She doesn’t really know what that means, but it makes her feel frightened just hearing about it. She can’t imagine how frightened Monique felt seeing them for real. Slipping the sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands, she gives Monique a hug, pats her back in the hope it’s comforting.

“I threw it in the river. Don’t worry. You don’t need to see it ever again,” Vanessa says. She’s not Monique, she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a sibling, but Monique is the closest thing to a sister she has and she wants to keep her safe. Monique is smiling at her when she steps out of the hug, and Vanessa feels relieved.

“An’ if it does come back we’ll just stab it before it can stab us first!” Monique jokes. It’s a silly joke but Vanessa still bursts out laughing.

“We’ll stab it with a stick!” she joins in, and soon the two girls are laughing and anything vaguely threatening has been forgotten about.

They end up cycling a lot that Summer, Monique showing Vanessa all sorts of hidden places all round the city. Vanessa never feels freer than when she’s racing around on dirt paths behind her best friend, and worries are a distant memory. Vanessa’s life is good and she has a lot of things to be thankful for but she knows she looks different and doesn’t fit in, she knows there’s a lot of things that the other kids have that she doesn’t, she knows that there are times when her Mama sits up at night time with her bills spilling out across the kitchen table and a calculator in her hand. Monique is a bright smile and a sense of adventure and she makes Vanessa feel happy.

They don’t go out on their bikes as much when they go back to school after the holidays. Year 4 flies by almost as quick as they used to cycle, as does Year 5. They don’t pretend as much in the playground anymore, preferring to run riot on the astroturf with the boys in their class and play football and get bruises on their shins from being tackled to within an inch of their life. Not much changes by Year 6; their last year of primary school when they should be responsible and conscientious and yet they’re still getting in trouble for giggling in class and playing pranks on the other kids and whispering swear words in Spanish (that one is Vanessa’s fault).

They’ve only got a month left of primary school and Vanessa’s allowed to walk home with Monique now as long as she keeps her phone on loud and texts her Mama to tell her if they’re stopping by the park or the snack van. Today is one of those days. They’re sat underneath the huge cherry blossom tree at the park; Vanessa wants to climb it but Monique’s saying that’s too babyish. They’re too old for that now, so they’re bluetoothing each other Tinchy Stryder and N-Dubz songs and blaring them at full volume out of their tinny phone speakers instead. Vanessa’s about to show Monique a parody somebody’s made of You’re Beautiful by James Blunt when Monique breaks the not-quite-silence.

“You gotta crush on anyone?”

Vanessa wrinkles her face up, snorts a laugh. “Ew! Nah. All the boys in our class are gross. I ain’t ever had a crush on any of ‘em.”

Monique gives a quiet laugh. “Me neither. They all use that Lynx Africa like it’s gonna cover up their B.O.”

Vanessa lets out a howl of laughter. She wasn’t lying to Monique; she doesn’t have a crush on anyone. If she thinks about it, she’s never really had a crush on any of the boys in her class. It’s just not something she thinks about. She cares more about her best friend than she’d ever care about any boy.

Their laughter dies down, and Vanessa gets a knot in her stomach. It happens every so often when she thinks about high school. Their class went up to see the school last week and it felt like such a terrifying maze of identical-looking corridors and crowds of kids so old they looked to be mini adults. Their teacher had told them to write down three friends they wanted to be in the same form class as, even though she said she couldn’t guarantee they’d get to stay together. Vanessa had written only one name on her form- Monique Heart - in her curly, barely-legible handwriting, the “i”s dotted with hearts. It’s been on her mind ever since, though. They’ve been together since Reception, Monique is all Vanessa knows. She wouldn’t begin to know how to make any other friends. She doesn’t want any other friends.

“M’nique,” Vanessa says, and the other girl looks up. “What happens if we ain’t in the same form class next year?”

Monique gives a small, humoured laugh. “Well then we ain’t in the same form class.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and shoves her. “Duh, idiot! I mean like…with us. We still gon’ be best friends?”

Monique laughs dismissively, shakes her head at her. “Now who’s being the idiot?”

“I’m serious!” Vanessa objects, annoyed that Monique’s still got her eyebrows raised at her like she’s a little kid. She’s going to be 12 in October; it’s not like she’s a baby. “What if you find other cool girls to hang out with? What if you get a new best friend? What am I gonna do?”

“You’re gonna do nothing, cuz that ain’t gonna happen,” Monique insists. Her face lights up as she gets an idea, jabs a finger against the tree trunk. “Okay. If I carve our initials into this tree, it’ll be like a promise. That we’re always gonna be best friends. I don’t want to hang out with cool girls. It’s fun just me an’ you.”

Vanessa smiles, her heart feeling all warm at the reassurance. Monique rummages around in her bag and produces her keys, starts stabbing at the bark of the tree relentlessly. Vanessa flinches a little, part of the reaction a residual memory from watching Pocahontas too much when she was really little; she used to believe that trees could feel things like humans. She shares the memory with Monique who doesn’t laugh at her, even though she probably has every right to.

“Well humans feel things an’ they get tattoos. So this is like a tattoo for a tree,” she shrugs. She’s chipped a big capital M in the bumpy bark so far and is starting on an H.

“Hey, you think we should get matching tattoos when we’re grown ups?” Vanessa suggests, the idea exciting her. Monique frowns as she drags her key over the wood.

“Don’t they use needles for that?”

Vanessa regrets the idea as soon as Monique says it; she’d forgotten about her friend’s fear. She decides to commit to the idea. “They do, but they’re all clean an’ safe. An’ you wouldn’t have to be scared cuz I’d go with you.”

Monique nods as she starts on Vanessa’s name. “I never feel scared when I’m with you. Except when Mrs Del Rio yells at us.”

“She’s a big baby. She just hates us cuz we would be better teachers than her,” Vanessa shrugs. It’s true.

“Well, what tattoo are we gonna get? We need to decide now so we can start saving up for it,” Monique questions her. Vanessa scoffs.

“How much do you think a tattoo costs? It’s like ten pounds, God!"

It’s Monique’s turn to laugh. "Nah, it’s way more than that! My brother’s got one and his cost a hundred and fifty.”

Vanessa lets out an outraged screech. “That’s a damn lie! You’re gonna go to the bad fire if you keep tellin’ lies like that.”

“An’ you’re gonna go to the bad fire cuz you just cussed.”

“Well, see you down there,” Vanessa shrugs. She considers Monique’s question. “What about we get BFFs in cool writing?”

Monique nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! With a heart maybe.”

“Yeah!” Vanessa agrees, excited about the prospect of their matching tattoos. She Googles “when can i get a tatoo” (spelling’s never been her strong suit) and lets out a groan at what she reads. “Ugh. We have to wait seven whole years.”

“You have to wait seven years, I only have to wait six!” Monique boasts, Vanessa sighing. She hates being one of the youngest in the class. She doesn’t have time to feel down for long though, as Monique shows her her handiwork with a flourish; MH + VM, scratched into the tree forever. “There! Best friends forever.”

Vanessa feels as if her smile is going to break her face. It feels like her body is made of the sun’s rays. When Monique says that, high school doesn’t seem so scary any more.

“Where we gonna get these tattoos anyway?” Monique speaks again. Vanessa’s smile turns wicked and she can barely get her thoughts out without laughing.

“Imagine we get them on our butt!”

Vanessa thinks Monique’s Gran might be able to her them screeching with laughter from the top floor of her tower block.

***

Things change though, despite the promise they make. Monique doesn’t think either of them mean to break it but life gets in the way and God has other plans. It’s what she believes at least.

Though she doesn’t know what his plan was for separating her from her best friend. Monique cries for forty-five solid minutes when she receives the letter telling her what form class she’s in; she knows it’s different to Vanessa’s. Her Gran holds her tight and rocks her against her chest on the sofa while her brother yells at her to shut up and slams his bedroom door. Her Gran is full of comforting words: you’re a strong girl, and you’ve been through worse in your life than this, and this isn’t going to change a single thing, hush now. But it is going to change things. When she’s with Vanessa, Monique feels like she can take on the world. She brings out her confident side when she feels shy, matches every shriek with a screech, takes her mind off the fact that she lives in a shoebox fourteen storeys high in the air where the elevator doesn’t work and the stairwell smells like piss. She can’t imagine starting high school without her. She doesn’t want to imagine it.

Monique batters out of the flat despite her Gran shouting after her, dashes down the stairs like her life depends on it. Her heart feels ready to give out when she reaches the lobby and bursts out into the open air but she still unchains her bike from the rack outside, pedals madly to Vanessa’s house. The bike is too small for her now and it’s uncomfortable to ride but it’s all she has to get her to the person that matters most. She reaches the house and Vanessa’s Mama lets her in, and Monique takes the stairs up to Vanessa’s bedroom two at a time where they hold each other tight and bundle up in Vanessa’s duvet and sob and sob and sob.

But looking back, Monique knows she’d been a little dramatic that day. Not being in the same form class as Vanessa really is not the end of the world. They walk there together on their first day and give each other a tight, nervous hug before they each head to their own form rooms. Monique pushes down on the doorhandle and anxiety fills her body as she walks in, freezes at the doorframe. There’s about twenty other kids already in the room and the whole scene is a bit chaotic. There are two boys chucking a ball to each other across the classroom, some girls with hair in high ponytails screeching and playing Katy Perry out of their phone speakers. Even though Monique has sat through countless interviews with social workers, child psychologists and police officers, this is one of the scariest experiences of her life.

“Hey. You wanna sit with us?”

Monique’s eyes fall on a table of girls with skin just like hers and hair to match. Monique instantly feels 80% more reassured; she’s never seen a classroom with a colour palette like this in her life. She and Vanessa had been the only two girls in their year at primary whose skin colour had deviated from the sea of pink or almost-translucent. There’s one girl who fits that mold at the table with the others, and Monique thinks it’s funny that she’s got pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes and still happens to be the odd one out.

The girls take her under their wing that first day, and the next, and the next. They’ve all gone to a different primary school from Monique and so are already closer than close, but they never make her feel like an outsider. Asia with the sleek, black hair that tumbles down her back has a sweet smile and explains all the in-jokes that Monique doesn’t understand. Antonia, the girl who invited Monique to sit with them, has an intimidating face and a skinny frame but a kind heart and always shares her snack and pens with her. Roberta- Bob- has a huge untameable afro and personality to match, and her cousin Monét isn’t dissimilar apart from the fact that her hair is wavy and caramel instead of jet black and curly. They bicker with each other and gossip about their teachers and make Monique laugh when she’s down. And Brianna is kind and caring and is always able to put a smile on Monique’s face.

Before long, it seems like Monique has made five new friends without even having to try. She wishes she could say she’s friends with Vanessa like she always used to be, but that would be lying.

Because Vanessa’s made friends too. They’re the girls Monique’s Gran always warned her about- friends with the devil and they’ll lead you on a path straight to him. Akeria and Silky make a reputation for themselves at high school within a week of the year beginning. They mess about in class, text during lessons, Silky starts fights with other girls in the corridors that her victims never have the balls to finish. Akeria flirts with the boys and the rumours say she’s had her first kiss already. They backchat teachers and keep cans of spray paint in their bags and walk along the train tracks to the depot after school to spray their wobbly initials on the side of freight trains.

But despite the fact they don’t hang out as much in person any more, that doesn’t diminish the light that Monique keeps burning in her heart for Vanessa. They bump into each other in corridors and chat excitedly in the five minutes they have between lessons, smile and wave at each other from across the lunch hall, and they still text each other and walk there and back from school together. Well, until just after the start of Year 8. Vanessa starts getting a lift from Akeria’s Mum in the mornings and hanging out at the shopping centre with her and Silky after school. It’s not her fault, and Monique supposes she’s no better- Monét lives on Monique’s route to school so the two of them start walking together instead, and after school the girls often go to the chicken shop in town and shovel down wings to make up for the disgusting school lunches.

By her second year of high school it’s almost like Monique has a new best friend.

But she doesn’t want to think like that, so she’s overjoyed when it gets to the start of Summer, just before the last term of their second year ends, and Vanessa’s texts change from general small-talk chit-chat to an invitation to have a sleepover at her house at the weekend. Monique feels embarrassing levels of excitement as she texts back confirming she’ll be there.

M: Are your other friends gonna be there??

V: nah just me n u

And it is just her and Vanessa. It’s a gorgeously sunny day and Vanessa’s Mama puts up a tent in the garden that they can camp out in. It’s nice to be back with her, talking and giggling and laughing about stupid stuff. Vanessa laughs uproariously as she tells Monique about Silky and Akeria’s latest exploits and Monique listens nervously, anxious just hearing about them.

“Do you join in when they do stuff like that?” Monique asks her, after a story about how Silky signed her name in the same Sharpie she does her eyebrows with on a toilet cubicle door and got detention. Vanessa shakes her head, smiles bashfully.

“Nah. I tell ‘em it’s good to keep someone onside in case we get into trouble. The teachers’ll let us away with more if they like one of us. 'Least that’s my excuse,” she explains. Monique smiles, reassured.

“I didn’t think you were like them,” she says, relieved. She thinks Vanessa narrows her eyes at her, but she blinks and her expression has changed. Vanessa’s started wearing makeup and it suits her, even though her foundation is maybe a little off-colour. The mascara she’s swept onto her lashes opens up her eyes a little more and lets Monique see the twinkle that seems to be permanently shining in them.

She is so pretty, and Monique wishes she could look like her.

They talk as if nothing has changed over dinner, various barbecued meats grilled on a disposable barbecue Vanessa’s Mama got from her work. Monique has never had a barbecue before and she decides that burgers charred to within an inch of their lives are the best thing she’s ever eaten. They make smores from chocolate digestives and marshmallows for dessert and Monique howls with laughter as the chocolate and marshmallow melt down half Vanessa’s hand and she licks it off as her Mama rolls her eyes, goes to find her a hot cloth and mutters in Spanish that Monique doesn’t understand but knows is long-suffering. She has almost forgotten the way Vanessa can make her belly laugh just by acting the fool. Monique has spent two whole years not even knowing how much she’s missed her friend, too distracted by her new ones.

When it’s time to go to sleep they both cosy up under Vanessa’s duvet that’s been dragged outside and a sleeping bag each under that. Every available pillow and cushion in the house has been utilised in lieu of a blow-up mattress but the set-up is still comfortable, even though it’s pitch-black both in the tent and outside. It might be the end of June but it’s still cold once the sun goes down, and Vanessa has shuffled up near to Monique in a bid to try and keep warm. Vanessa being so close makes Monique feel warm on the inside as well as the outside.

“Hey, you know that rumour about Akeria kissing Dean from Year 9?” Monique pipes up, interested. “Is that true?”

Vanessa rolls onto her tummy to face Monique, and her eyes are sparkling with mischief even in the dark. It makes Monique’s stomach do a flip. “Yeah. They did it at the food court after school one day. You wanna know what else?”

Vanessa’s face is so full of glee that Monique can’t help but nod in anticipation. She’s almost in fits of laughter as she tries to get the secret out. “He tried to get her to touch his…you know!”

Monique lets out a screech that is equal parts horrified and amused as Vanessa dissolves into giggles too. “GROSS! Did she do it?”

“Ew! What do you think? Of course she didn’t. That shit’s nasty.”

There’s a pause in which Vanessa lets out a few more giggles. Monique doesn’t. She’s silent. She’s thinking.

“I wonder what it’s like.”

Vanessa’s voice is loud in the silence of the night. “What? Touching a boy’s-”

“No, idiot!” Monique laughs, explaining herself. “Kissing someone. Wonder if it’s as nice as people say it is.”

Vanessa falls quiet as well. Monique wonders what she’s thinking. She decides to break the silence. “You ever kissed a boy?”

Vanessa lets out a snort. “Come on, M’nique, you know I ain’t.”

“No I don’t!” Monique protests, her voice dropping to a murmur as she feels herself pout while she speaks. “I feel like I don’t know anything about you anymore.”

They both fall silent, and there’s a shift in the atmosphere that Monique can’t quite put her finger on. Vanessa lets out a sudden giggle.

“What?” Monique asks awkwardly, unsure if she’s meant to be in on the joke or the butt of it.

Vanessa’s face is scheming. She laughs a little, buries her face in her pillow before she speaks. “You know we could practise?”

Monique is slow on the uptake at first. “Practise? Practise what?”

She realises as Vanessa lifts her head and gives another giggle. Monique lets out a screech, takes the pillow from underneath her head and thumps her friend with it. “Ew, Vanessa! Ew, ew, ew! You’re so weird!”

“Oh, c’mon! I don’t wanna go kiss a boy and then be really bad at it, then he’s tell his friends and they’d tell their friends and then the whole school would think I’m shit!” Vanessa insists. Monique’s heart gives a very loud thud as Vanessa inches her face close to Monique. She’s not taken her makeup off and her mascara is all smudged around her eyes like makeshift eyeliner. She looks really pretty.

Monique shoves her away back onto the pillows. “I ain’t doin’ that shit with you! Ask Akeria since she’s so experienced.”

“But I don’t wanna practise with Kiki! I wanna practise with you!” Vanessa says matter-of-factly. Monique’s stomach gives another churn. Something is different, something has changed. Monique isn’t sure what it is or what to make of it.

“Well, tough shit. We ain’t…practising,” Monique huffs, turning her back to Vanessa and letting her eyes burn holes in the flimsy tent walls.

Vanessa’s voice comes from her side of the tent. “Fine! But if they call you…shit, I don’t know…Washing-Machine Mouth Monique…don’t say I never warned you!”

Monique lets out another huff, squeezes her eyes shut and wills herself to sleep. She feels weird. Her heart is going too fast and her stomach feels fizzy and it takes her a moment to realise her face has gone all hot.

“M’nique?” Vanessa’s voice comes from the darkness. She ignores it. “You mad at me?”

She sighs, rolls her eyes even though she knows Vanessa can’t see. “No.”

“Okay,” Vanessa says. Her voice is soft, and she rolls over onto her side. She rests her head against Monique’s back and puts an arm around her. They hug all the time, but this one feels different. It’s nice, though, and Monique feels warm and safe. “I’m sorry we haven’t hung out much. You know. Like we did in primary.”

“I’m sorry too,” Monique sighs, bringing a hand up to pat Vanessa on the arm. She ends up simply leaving it there.

“Hey, we should hang out more in the Summer! You know you can always come round to mine,” Vanessa continues.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Monique murmurs, letting out a heavy sigh. She’s not lying- it would be nice. She knows she could never have friends back to her flat because they don’t have the space and besides, most of them wouldn’t even want to set foot in the high rise anyway. Monét’s parents are doctors and Asia’s Dad is a barrister and her Mum is a lawyer, and Bob’s parents work in something accountant-y, and they all live in big houses with sweeping paved driveways and garages and gardens the size of the Emirates stadium. Granted Antonia’s Mum and Dad both work two jobs to pay the rent and Brianna’s Dad is a dustbin man while her Mum stays at home to look after her baby sister, but at least their families are happy ones. Monique has never known the luxury of a fancy house or a private garden or a car or a perfect, cookie-cutter family. She wonders if she ever will.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts by Vanessa giving her a gentle squeeze, cuddling closer. She didn’t think it would be possible but she somehow manages it, and Monique isn’t complaining. “G'night, M'nique.”

Monique is too tired to think any more. Vanessa’s arms feel comforting around her, and she chooses to settle in them. “Night, 'Ness.”

#rpdr fanfiction #ortega #2003 #vanique #vanessa vanjie mateo #monique heart #best friends to girlfriends #lesbian au #high school au #fic challenge #diversity fic #s10 #black girl magic fic #tw mentions of implied child neglect #tw brief mentions of drug use

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kianimal-crossing · 3 years

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Happy Valentines Day! I’m Kiana and ACNH is the first Animal Crossing game I’ve ever played. I bought it in October and have been obsessed—especially with the clothes—ever since! So obsessed that I wanna post my outfits on the internet so pls enjoy

Above is my V-day outfit featuring girly lace shorts and red garter socks, oh la la

Here’s a bonus outfit I made with the same sweater serving Minnie Mouse realness

#acnh community #acnh aesthetic #acnh clothes #acnh ootd #acnh #animal crossing

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secludedmoonnn · 4 years

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The past 2 days haven’t been the best. I’ve been feeling really depressed and I’ve been finding it hard to redirect my thoughts when they become negative. All I have wanted to do is sleep and do nothing. But I have been forcing myself to get up and do my daily “chores”. Make my bed, tidy my room, etc etc. I even got myself to do the kitty litter, completely clean my room and do all my laundry. Towels and bedding included. It was a little rough as my body and brain were against it, but I pushed through. I even put away all the laundry immediately, instead of having it sit in baskets for 2 weeks! But besides all of that, I spent some time hanging out with Rachel yesterday and played some Animal Crossing. They also updated the game a little early, so now we can swim in the ocean!

My aunt and cousins were in town, so we went and visited them. My aunt has been doing really good! She recently finished her chemo sessions and got to ring the bell! 🥰 I also got to see little Karson and Theo! I also visited with Krystal quite a bit and found out that Theo’s dad has been cheating on her their entire relationship of 7 years. She hasn’t been doing well, but she’s doing better than I expected. Me and Kiana are trying to convince her to move to Wdmonton, as it would give her so many more opportunities for Theo and his schooling, as well as her and finding a job, as well as being able to go out and do something. She would also have her siblings here, as well as me, Kiana and my mom. I’m hoping she actually thinks about it. The only reason she moved back to her hometown was for her mom, and as of late, they’ve been going to the lake lot a lot, so she barely sees her parents. I got to meet Cassidy’s new bf, and he seems sooooo sweet and good for her. Her past bf’s haven’t been the best and I haven’t really liked them lol. It was really nice being able to see my family. I told Krystal about us, and she was in complete shock and felt really bad, but I told her that I’m doing okay. I mean, there have been some really rough fucking days, but I got through them. I also gave some advice to her, and told her some things that really helped me. She was super upset because she has been so dependent on Brandon for so long and she’s scared to be alone. And I pretty much told her that she’s gotta do shit for her, stop focusing on him, and try to redirect her energy into things that’ll make her happy and things that’ll help her grow as a person. I just feel kinda bad for Theo in this situation. They’ve been fighting and angry with each other for most of Theo’s life. And with Brandon having a new gf while they are still living together is a little messed up, and I just feel really bad for the little guy rn. Krystal is super depressed and doesn’t play with him as much as she should. I’m hoping these 2 weeks away will help her realize what she needs to do. Both for herself and for Theo.

But besides that, Tuna’s harness came in and she doesn’t hate it! (Pink is so her colour btw lol) So now I can make an appointment at the vet so I can get all her shots updated, as well as get her cough checked out! I also have to go to AMA and DynaLife tomorrow. So I’m trying to keep busy and keep doing things that I need to do for myself. I’m hoping that I can just get my learners card again, and not have to retake the test, but I guess we will see! I just want to try and focus on learning how to drive this summer. I have it as one of my main goals, besides getting my health in check. I still have to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and cavities filled, I’m just scared cause it’s gonna be PRICEY. I’ll just have to go and get things done with months in between appointments, that way I can afford it lol.

I’ve been trying to do lots and not let myself cave into these negative emotions, into my depression, and I’m quite proud of myself. In the past, I don’t think I would have been strong enough to do it. But I am now, and I am so damn proud. I’m so proud of every little thing I’ve been slowly trying to work on. Even if it may not seem big deal to someone else, it definitely is for me. And I’m just so incredibly proud of myself and happy that I’m doing it. Just happy that I’m doing things for me. Things that I’ve been putting off for far too long.

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I hope you’ve been doing well and taking care of yourself. And I hope you’re enjoying your time down in High River! I just hope you’re well.

#blah #depressed #family #cousins #animal crossing #acnh #friends #i’ve been doing my best #and i’m okay #i hope you’re okay too #i miss you #personal #do not reblog #july 3rd #2020 #journal

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yamujiburo · 5 years

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When did you first seen pokemon?

hmmmnn this is a very broad question

i hopped on pokemon late bc my parents (mom specifically) didn’t let me watch it. all my friends played the games and watched the show. my first experience with the games was playing pokemon stadium at my friend’s house and the sushi-go-round mini game.

i’d catch bits and pieces of the anime when my friends and i would have playdates at their house (most of them hoenn episodes). and one night my friend put pokemon heroes on. i went home traumatized at what they had done to latios. i was SHOOKT. my friend also had a book about team rocket. that’s when i fell in love with jessie.

there was also one night when i was REALLY young where my dad let me watch one episode and it was The Ancient Puzzle of Pokémopolis and it scared me. little kiana was not ready for pokemon i guess.

my actual descent into pokemon began when me and my brother found a copy of pokemon diamond on the ground at a football game and our parents actually let us keep it. that was their first mistake. their second mistake was thinking they could keep us from pokemon at that point. from there we bought toys, cards, more games and started watching the anime (diamond and pearl was airing at the time). one of the first episodes i’d seen was crossing paths. i very vividly remember sitting on the couch of my aunts house and bawling my eyes out about it.

now i am here

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dontbethatshank · 7 years

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Little Lies

Request: “And the request is for Newt, of course, based on the song I'd Lie by Taylor Swift. Have you heard that one? It's about her loving him while being his best friend and never saying how she feels but at the end can you make the reader and Newt confess their feelings and get together? Because that'd be wonderful. I want you to write it along the lyrics of it actually :) so if you can do it it'd be really great♡”

A/N: Again, whatever you have read or watched, ignore for this imagine. I had to use some creativeness to get the lyrics involved. So I created some of my own plot holes which are similar to parts of the movies and such but not exactly. SO just imagine creatively and enjoy!

“Y/N!” the young, 12-year-old boy yelled, grinning wildly. I looked over curiously, my own 11-year-old self-confused as to what was going on. “What?” I asked, defensive almost. “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Newt asked, leaning on his hands, looking at me as I finished my self-test/survey. “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “To get to the other side!” Newt exclaimed, grinning at his own joke. I faltered but laughed, smiling widely at him. Whenever he tells me a joke, I fake a smile and laugh; even if it isn’t funny.

“Y/N,” Sonya looked at me and I hummed in response. We were in our shared room. We had come to what many call Paradise not too long ago, and everyone soon fell into their own spots. It was like a better functioning maze, everyone having a spot and what not. It was a comforting system to me. “What’s up, Sonny?” I hummed, sitting up and looking at her from across the small, shared room. “Newt is working here in the gardens since it’s what he knows best... and, well, I don’t know. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen him, you know? And it’s almost like seeing a stranger, I barely remember anything he likes. But, any ways, I wanted to make him another panga blade, for gardening. But I was going to wrap it in rope since the handle is really rough and to make it personal. But I don’t even know his favorite color anymore,” Sonya sighed.

And indeed, a long blade laid before her, sharpened herself, with a thick, rough looking handle that could probably give a few good splinters. “His favorite color is green,” I hummed, without thinking,” It’s a dark forest green. Like... this.” I told her, pulling a long piece of thin, tightly woven rope from the small bundle she had on her bed. Sonya gave me an odd look but mumbled a thank you, grabbing the rope and beginning to wrap the handle. She sharpened the blade against one of her rocks, the sound almost melodic at this point, and I quietly sighed, thinking of her brother. God, out of everyone and everything I could have remembered, why did I have to remember only him? And why, in such great detail?

Walking through the night, a pack on my back and a blade in hand, everything was qiet. The buzzing of the crickets and the small noises of insects and animals roaming about were heard, but no one talked.The others and I had set up camp, a small fire and decent shelter were set up between a small group of thick trees. Two of us were always up, on guard, every couple hours. Tonight, at this time, it was Newt and I. We sat against a tree, Newt facing the rest of the woods and I facing towards the camp. We both watched our part of the area, randomly moving around to get better views.

Neither of us had talked in awhile, but then Newt let out a gentle sigh. “I wish I could remember what life was like...” Newt mumbled. Several people from my own group had run and escaped with Newt and the other boys, trying to escape WCKD and their stupid trials. All of us were in the same boat; lost, confused, and scared. “Me too, bud, me too...” I mumbled. The truth was, I remembered Newt. I truly did. I could list off random facts about him that I couldn’t even remember about myself. It was terrifying, but also... reassuring. “Like... my birthday. I know I have one, we all have a bloody birthday, but... I couldn’t tell you mine even if my life depended on it right this second,” Newt sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he turned to look at me a bit more clearly.

And without missing a beat, I replied. “You were born on the seventeenth. The seventeenth of October,” I mumbled in response, my eyes falling to my hands. Newt got quiet and looked at me curiously. “How do you know that?” he finally asked, and all I could do was manage a shrug in response. “I remember us being close, being good friends... I guess, some things just... stuck. Like that, I remember small details, but nothing much else,” I replied. Lies. But only a little lie. I did remember small details... but I remembered many small details about the boy in front of me. Including the fact that I loved that boy.

“Thank God, I finally found you, I need your advice,” Newt said, grabbing my shoulder as he ran up behind me. Turning around I saw the boy, a sheet of sweat on his face, his brand new blade from his sister tucked under a strap on his back. “What’s up, kidd?” I asked, smiling at him. He always came to me for questions. I’m not really sure why, but I happily gave him my advice freely and my honest opinions. I tended to be that way for most of our friends. Everyone used me as their faucet of advice, and it always comes to them freely when they ask.

“Well, you’re the most honest person I know. Hell, I don’t even think you are physically able to lie. Anyways... I have some, girl.. questions,” Newt began, scratching his neck awkwardly. I forced a smile. It was only time. Being in Paradise meant more people; more girls; more possibilities. Of course, he would finally find one to set his eye on. And I truly was happy for him. “Go ahead, shoot away with your questions,” I laughed, walking with him as we headed to get some water in between our work. “Alright well, you see, this girl is really... not into normal girl stuff I guess? Like, she really likes to make blades and I’m pretty sure the idea of romance is probably sickening to her-” Newt began, and Istopped him, laughing. “Newt! No. Any girl, no matter who she is or who she likes, likes romance,” I laughed. He would never tell anyone, but he could play guitar; and if this mystery girl of his meant that much to him, I’m sure he could find the romance and talent up his sleeve to play her a little song to tell her just how he feels...

“No, not this one,” he argued, a frown on his lips. “No, trust me, she does. Everyone likes a bit of romance. It’s... sweet,” I replied and smiled. “No, no. Like she really isn’t into relationships or romance stuff or-” Newt began, the frown on his face deepening and becoming more confused. With a roll of my eyes I walked ahead of him, chuckling. “God, you love to argue,” you muttered, grabbing a canteen and filling it with water as I did so. Newt pouted gently at me, huffing as he did so. “Come on! I really need some honest advice! You would never lie, not to me anyway, I just... I really need help,” he groaned out.

“Fine, fine, I’ll help you. There are so many things you could do, ya’know? A secret picnic, maybe play her a song, or...” And it was true. I would never tell a lie. I praised myself on my high morals. I hated lying. I especially hated lying to Newt - I could never knowingly tell him an untruth. But if you asked me if I love him, I’d lie.

It was hot. I was tired. And no matter what I did, everything seemed to go wrong. I had messed up a building I was working on with Gally, Kiana, and the others. I had honestly ruined a weeks worth of effort, which pissed Gally off, but Kiana reassured me and so did Brenda when I saw her earlier. But the one thing I did that I didn’t even know how I did, was I pissed off Newt.

I was walking back to my shared room with Sonya, mumbling to myself and toying with my dirty hair as per usual, when Newt came up. I was tired and wasn’t in the mood to help with his mystery girl for the day, so I did my best to kindly brush him off. “Hey! Y/N! Wait up,” I heard from next to me, and then suddenly the tall, lanky boy named Newt was magically by my side. I smiled weakly up at him as I continued to walk sluggishly, and he smiled, rubbing the back of his neck as he let out a breath.

“So, uhm... this girl. I really want to just, ya know, tell her that I like her. I was going to do a big reveal or take her on a small, surprise date but... I think just saying it will be the best way. So... how should I do that?” Newt asked, looking down at me hopefully. With a small, inward groan, I stopped and looked at him. I didn’t have the self-esteem nor the patience to do this today. Not to watch and listen as he talked about this girl he loved so dearly. “Just, tell her. No wording it oddly or anything, just yanno... say it, blunt and clear. It’s the best way, otherwise, things may get messed up,” I nodded, affirming my opinion on it.

“I like you,” Newt said, letting out a breath as he looked down at me. I hummed and nodded, turning back to continue walking. “Yes, exactly like that. Now go on, go tell her,” I sighed. Newt grabbed my wrist, stopping me. “No, Y/N, wait-” he began, but I was too tired to listen to it. “Seriously, just go tell her, alright? I’m not in the mood to really listen to you drone on about her. It’s hot, I’m tired, and it’s just not a good day,” I replied, sighing. Newt dropped my wrist, a blank look on his face before he nodded and walekd away, silence following him and filling the space between us.

“I’m holding every breath for you... making sure I never tell you how I feel,” I whispered quietly to him as he walked away. And I was. Every time I heard him speak about his mystery girl, I smiled. As his best friend, I was proud of him and wanted him so, so happy... but I bit my lip and held my breath, afriad I might say just how I feel if I didn’t watch my tongue. And oh my God, it hurt so bad.

It was the next day, the day after I exploded on Newt, and I felt like utter crap. I wanted to apologize. To beg for his forgiveness. I couldn’t lose my best friend over some stupid jealousy that Ive kept hidden for what feels like a lifetime. No, that wouldn’t be fair to him. I had to talk to him. To apologize. To make it up to him. And I was going to... as soon as I could find my damn pants.

As soon as I was dressed, I checked myself in the dirty mirror and fixed my hair. I used to put on my make up and hope for a miracle that maybe Newt would notice, and he would see a beautiful girl. But now, after he’s talked about this girl he likes for the past three weeks, I just gave up. So as long as my clothes didn’t smell too bad and my hair looked like I at least tried to fix it this morning, then I looked good enough for whoever saw me today.

“Newt!” I called, seeing the boy sitting on a small wooden stool. “My God, he’s beautiful,” I thought to myself. He was wearing fresh, clean, new clothes. They were simple grey jeans and a light blue button down. They definetely weren’t work clothes, so I had no idea why he was dressed so... nicely. “Y/N,” Newt responded, smiling at me. “Hey, look, I really need to-” I began, raking fingers through my hair as I sighed, looking up at him. “No, no. Here, I need to show you something first. Come with me,” Newt butted in, grabbing my wrist and pulling me with me.

Obediently, I followed, confused. We walked for awhile, quietly. He held my hand, guiding me. We walked into the thin, small gathering of trees outside the small city that we had built up here in paradise. The day was cooler than before, and the shade of the trees made it nice and cool. I could hear the faint sound of running water, and Newt finally pulled me into a clearing. It was a small waterfall, water cascading down a piling of rocks into a small pond, and beside it on the grassy area, was a small, thin blanket. On the blanket was a basket and some food was laid out. I looked at Newt, confused; bewildered was more like it.

“You said to directly say it, so there were no mix ups... but, there was a mix up. So I decided to say it and show it,” he explained, guiding me to the blanket and sitting us down. As we sat down he grabbed my hands, looking me in the eye. “Y/N, I like you. No, a better phrase I suppose would be, I love you,” Newt began, gulping down a big breathe. “I remember us before the Maze. I remember us being friends. I remember all these little quirks of yours that you still have... like how you only like crunchy peanut butter, or how you will only ever eat grapes if they’re cut up and mixed with another fruit. I remember your birthday, and your favorite colors, I remember that you love to argue with me just as much as I love to argue with you... and I remember that you are still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen,” Newt mumbled, looking down into my eyes.

“Newt, I... I love you. God, I love you so much. I’m sorry for snapping at you and just... I thought you were talking about another girl and it hurt and just... I love you,” I stuttered, trying to find the ight words and ultimately still failing. Newt laughed, his hand coming up and two fingers laid under my chin, pulling my face closer to his. “I love you, Y/N. So much,” he whispered, before pressing a kiss to my lips and gently pulling me closer to him. And my world was on fire and I felt like a thousand fireworks were going off inside of me.

“I’d never lie about loving you. Never again,” I mumbled, then leaned in closer to kiss him again. No more little lies. Because if you asked me if I love him, I’d never lie.

#tmr #newt #imagine #request #song au #song imagine #taylor swift #lyrics #tmr imgine #tmr preference #newt rm #newt imagine #tmr newt imagine

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sorceressmidnight · 7 years

Text

Midnight Sorceress

Chapter: 1/? [1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - ?]

Chapter 1: What a pain

Words: 2778

Warnings: Some cursing.

Rewritten on 5/17/2018 feel free to reread.

Primarily following the events of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it revolves around an original character.

Description as posted on ao3: A member of SHIELD is forced to struggle with her mental stability and keeping her secret as the craziness surrounding the Avengers crashes around her. She ends up befriending Tony and Pepper, who help out her mental health a great deal, but will they be able to help her with her secret? Something that could destroy her if she uses it too much... What will happen when Tony tries to convince her to use it to help the Avengers?

Read on ao3: here

Tags: @txnystarkimagines @h0bsyrup

Hit me up if you want to be tagged in future chapters.

After the attack on New York by the Chitauri—or... the 'aliens' for most citizens unaware of what they were called, I've decided to keep a small little journal of sorts. It's not much, but I suppose it allows me to vent some and get my thoughts out. I'm not particularly fond of sharing my feelings, but I was told I have to get it out somehow.

If you're reading this, and I have given you permission, please turn to page three.

If you are reading this, and I have not given you permission, please turn to page two.

[PAGE 2]

Fuck off. (Not that you will but at least I have the satisfaction of telling you to.)

[PAGE 3]

I guess I should explain a few things before I start, huh?

A bit about me-- I work with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division, or SHIELD for short. I was approached by an agent after an incident in college that was nearly the cause of my death, but there'll be more time to explain that later.

The major thing I should tell you is... that I do have powers, but I'm limited with how I much I can use them. The power itself would actually be fairly useful in helping SHIELD—my powers being similar to telekinesis. It's a... bit more complicated than that, though. I'm not sure if there's a name for how my powers work, but not only can I lift objects and move them from their original position; but I can also make them semi-sentient. I can use cooking utensils to cook food while I'm in another room, or fixing up something that I'm not too familiar with while I read a book.

I can also make objects change shape, which is pretty cool. I could use them for fighting, if I had the strength to do it. I've had a paper plate and bowl fight in the shape of different animals. When I'm alone, I like bringing stray blades of grass together and make them dance on the wind.

Now, you have a decent understanding of why SHIELD was interested in me to begin with. Let's revisit the college story so you can know a bit more of what happened.

I still remember the day vividly, like a dream I had just woken up from. It was the fall semester and the sky was cloudy with the looming winter weather overhead. I had been in the cafeteria, working on an essay for one of my classes, earbuds in with music playing. I had been snacking on some chips, not hungry enough to get breakfast but too hungry to wait for lunch. I felt the ground shaking before I noticed the students starting to frantically run out of the room. I had pulled my earbuds out, having less than a few seconds to realize what was going on. The ceiling was falling down from the other side of the cafeteria before a loud boom disoriented me, seeing some of the students nearby about to be hit with bits of the ceiling that were coming down over us. In my fight-or-flight response, I froze, or felt like I did anyway.

What was I going to do? Could I even get away in time? Should I use my powers? That could kill me! The thoughts went by so fast it felt like watching pages of a book flipping past and a blur left behind in its wake. In a split second, I lifted my hands to stop the oncoming debris from crushing the rest of us who were left in the building. I can briefly remember the other students staring at me in awe and my strained voice screaming at them to go. When I saw the last student get out the door, I had used my powers for so long that I was unable to hold it up for my own escape.

I was told that another student had decided that the best course of action was to bomb the school, most likely in an attempt to do a murder/suicide. There were three bombs that went off in total, one over the gym that was empty at the time it went off, and two over the area of the cafeteria. They were small enough that the building itself was still standing, but had caused a good amount of damage. I was lucky enough that the students I had saved were quick to tell the college staff that I was still inside.

My parents had flown out from the UK to make sure I was okay and the school put together some get-well cards and flowers that were put around my room. It was a nice thing to wake up to, but when I did awaken there was a figure in a black suit waiting to talk to me.

It was an agent from SHIELD, that told me they wanted to bring me in; not only to make sure I was healing properly—having better advancements in healing than the average hospital—but to keep others from trying to abuse my powers. It was something I had feared for a while, but wasn't aware of the under-the-radar groups that could have taken interest in me similar to SHIELD. It was set up that only agents with higher level security clearances knew about this little fact. I've learned how to do more with my powers since that incident, but I still face the fear of over-exerting myself to the possible point of death.

Also, I guess I should have put this at the beginning, huh? My name is Kiana, but you can refer to me as Kiki.

"Mr. Stark," a voice sounded out, bringing Tony from his thoughts as he sat on one of the couches, deeply focused on whatever he was reading on his phone. He glanced up to look at the figure, a raven haired figure—most likely an agent—with a file tucked under her arm.

"Here's the debriefing for the meeting at two. Please read through all of the pages beforehand," she spoke as she handed the folder to him, "oh, and don't be late." He looked over her as he took the folder, brows arching as he examined her in thought.

"I haven't seen you around before... Are you new?" He looked down at the papers within the folder, only giving it half of his attention at best.

"I've been working here since before the Avengers initiative, sir," she retorted quickly, turning to take her leave.

"Why haven't I seen you around before then?" he questioned, closing the folder after he finished skimming the paperwork.

"Are you meaning to say that you're familiar with every member of SHIELD?" her brow arched, stopping to turn back to him, sarcasm in her tone as she spoke.

"Not... personally, but I have read over most of the paperwork for what I thought was all the members," he looked up at her, a smirk forming on his lips—knowing he shouldn't have access to that information.

A smile crossed her lips as she gave him the sweetest tone she could muster, "I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but you'll need a much higher security clearance to read my file—or some of the others for that matter. Now that we have gotten that covered, I'm a rather busy woman, so I should get back to work." She turned back into the direction she was heading, going to what he could only presume was 'back to work'.

"Huh..." he mused quietly to himself, "then I'll just have to obtain this higher level of clearance." His smirk widened, taking her comment as a challenge.

Sometimes I wish I could slap the smirk off of some people's faces, but I really wanted to slap Tony's smirk right off of his face. I've managed to avoid directly interacting with him, but all the other agents were busy or off on a mission... He's just so... ugh. He's so cocky and annoying and thinks he can get anything he wants. I mean, so do most rich people, but I don't have to deal with them.

Well, he'll be pretty busy for a while so I won't be seeing him anytime soon. I'll just personally make sure someone is keeping an eye on the files, changing the codes until he finally gets bored of trying to get in.

A week had passed since Tony had seen the mysterious agent whom he was unable to find anywhere in the database. By this point, he had even gotten a look into Director Fury's files, so he had become curious as to just how much was being hidden away from him. So, naturally he begun to develop software to break through all the security levels that had apparently been blocking him.

"Hey, Fury," Tony said as he strolled up next to the man, "I want to ask some questions about that one girl who had brought me paperwork last week for the meeting."

"Plenty of people have brought you paperwork, Stark. Why is it you want to know about this one?" Fury didn't bother to look at him, instead still working on whatever was currently on his screen, turning to look at the one on his right.

"Because," he started, pursing his lips together, "I haven't been able to find her file anywhere and I want to know why~"

"Again," he gave a quick glance at the billionaire, "there are plenty of agents here who fit that specific description. We have quite a number of people whose files are hidden for security reasons... and of course other reasons."

Tony hummed to himself for a second, remembering the girl, "This one had black hair about here... Bright blue eyes that just screamed she was full of secrets... Kind of sassy?" He gestured to about where her hair length was, crossing his arms soon after.

"I know exactly who you've been talking about, but that's about all I am willing to tell you, Stark."

He pouted his lips slightly as he realized their conversation was over, not getting any new information from the director. He left and continued his attempts to try and crack through, knowing that there had to be some sort of let up at some point or another.

Kiana slipped through the door quietly and plopped herself down onto the couch, head resting against the arm with her recently removed jacket shielding her eyes from the light. A dark red headed female closed the door behind her, following the other into the room, sitting in the chair across from the couch while taking a sip from her cup of coffee. There was a brief moment of silence between the two, relishing in the action that they were currently partaking in—relaxing and drinking coffee.

"I'm pretty sure Tony will be getting a warning in the next week or so for obnoxiously trying to hack into the system," Kiana snickered from behind her jacket, stretching her arms up before pulling her sleeves down past her hands again.

"Ew," the other murmured under her breath, "What's he even trying to figure out?"

Kiana sat up, looking over at her as the jacket fell off her face, giving a soft laugh, "Ew? What's ew, Sammy? He's just mad because he doesn't know everything and we've been changing the codes on him. I get it—he's super paranoid, but he doesn't get an all access pass just because of that."

"He smells like booze and cheap entertainment... If you know what I mean," Sammy mumbled, "plus I overheard him telling Bruce one time that I looked like a... 'dead squirrel'—like the kind that's been run over and left on the side of the road. I know he's just mad that I stole his wallet that one time, but it's not my fault he didn't notice it was missing for a couple of days!" A soft groan emitted from her, completely focused on her reason for saying 'ew'.

"Sammy... No... Really? You stole his wallet?" her jaw dropped as she shook her head, "I mean.. Joe-No-Schmo in the street is one thing, I don't approve, but less risky... Why would you steal from "the" Tony Stark?!"

They continued discussing Kiana's encounter with Tony, talking about how their security experts were keeping a tight watch on all of the higher level security files. It wasn't until a little later in the afternoon that Kiana got a bit more serious about the discussion regarding the billionaire playboy.

"I am a bit concerned about him, though..." She sighed.

"About what?" Sammy asked, mouth half full of the cake she had begun munching upon. Kiana wasn't entirely sure where she even got the cake from at this point, and wasn't prepared to ask.

"He has a bad habit... of... Well doing stupid things... I've kind of avoided him 'cause he's a jerk, but I do know a good deal about him. He's been... Well, he's been acting differently after incident in New York... I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but I just don't think you're able to go through something like that completely unscathed..."

"Maybe he should go to therapy," Sammy suggested, waving her fork around while she spoke.

"I'm fairly certain his pride wouldn't allow him to admit he needs it in the first place. I just.... I dunno, I guess it's because I know what it's like to be close to death? It leaves a hole in you... A sort of emptiness that makes you feel scared... You're certain that anything that can go bad, will. Safety is important, but it becomes an all-consuming importance in your life." She sighed, falling back onto the couch. "The more often you're reminded of it—or worse—having other experiences similar to the first can leave you feeling shattered and alone. Tony is way too prideful to admit he feels that way or needs help. It's different when it's physical—broken bone? Just put a cast on it for a couple of weeks. Cuts or bruises? That's nothing... but this is emotional... Emotional damage isn't... Well, it isn't something people often take seriously. I don't think he'd let someone come near if he is experiencing emotional trauma."

Sammy listened to her little tangent, watching as the other scratched her arms nervously and frowned at the red she could see under her sleeve. She stared at her hands quietly, fiddling her thumbs together in quiet contemplation after pushing her sleeves back down. She leaned over to poke the other in the cheek. "You're talking from experience, aren't ya?"

Kiana's eyes widened, blinking at the sudden touch that brought her out of her deep thought. "I... uh... Yeah, sorta..." She admitted, shrugging her shoulders gently, rubbing her arms nervously.

"If you're so concerned, maybe you should try to talk to him?"

"I would... but he's just so... infuriating!! Says whatever he wants, does whatever he wants! If he wasn't such a loud mouth, maybe he wouldn't have had so many issues in life! He needs to learn when to shut his stupid mouth!"

"And I'm not infuriating?" Sammy asked, brow arched as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You need to stop stealing stuff, yes!! But you're not as annoying as he is," she huffed out her chest, pink flushing softly in her cheeks.

"All he does is poke fun at you... and flirt a little? Just ignore that and maybe you can get past whatever you consider is his... 'annoying-ness'." She rolled her eyes.

"That's not just--!!! Ugh!!" She sighed, giving a small pout towards the other while resting her chin into the palm of her hand and thinking it over. Maybe she was letting her perception of him mask what was actually there? Most likely... "Maybe you're right..."

Sammy has a habit of coming out with a good point here and there... Aside from stealing being useful, of course. She suggested that I try and talk to Tony... I would rather not go out of my way, but... I mean, I guess I'd have to if I wanted to try... I'm not sure if he would even bother to listen to me. I'm not even sure why I feel bad about all of this... I barely even know him. I feel so stupid!!

I guess it's not so weird, though... I've always cared about others... It doesn't help that I see some things in him that I've been... ignoring in myself. It's hard not to gravitate towards people who have or have had similar problems to yourself...

#tony stark #original character #tony stark x original character #tony stark x oc #tony stark x reader #iron man #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #avengers #marvel fanfiction #iron man fanfiction #avengers fanfiction

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galpalaven · 3 years

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1 year later...

#kiana plays animal crossing #this is like the only pic I have from my first night fjdkd

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kyoshiscrossing · 4 years

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i had a villager move out and!! i found merengue!!!

#kiana plays animal crossing

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mybonglove-blog · 5 years

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Honkai Impact 3

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PLAY NOWHonkai Impact 3rd PC Download | Wiki, Reddit, Guide, Anime Characters

Honkai Impact 3 Finally Makes Its Way to the PC!

After winning over the hearts of the players in the Asia Market, Honkai Impact 3 is now officially launched to the rest of the world! The global server is called Honkai Impact 3rd –PC version available only here! If you’re a self-proclaimed otaku or at least a bit of a weeaboo that has a knack for anime games, this will definitely suit your taste! It’s Girl Power with Honkai Impact 3! Join your favorite waifu of the Battleship Hyperion in their mission to protect the world.

Same Formula, Same Sugoi Experience.

Complete the story missions as the Captain leading a 3-woman team on every mission to fight the malicious Otto Apocalypse, the evil dead walkers, powerful mechs, and Honkai beasts. Their goal is the destruction of humanity and nothing more. As the missions in Honkai Impact 3 become gradually challenging, you will need to upgrade the characters and their equipment to gain better stats to defeat strong enemies and save the world! Download games unblockedHonkai Impact 3 on PC now!

Honkai Impact 3 Game Features:

Cute Anime Game Waifus

As the Captain of the battleship Hyperion, it’s your responsibility to lead your elite team of Valkyries in the battle against the founder of the Schicksal, Otto Apocalypse and his infinite armies of zombies and aliens called Honkai. Along the way, you will rival against and ally with the mechs in different situations. Furthermore, players are initially introduced to three Valkyries: Kiana Kaslana, Raiden Mei, and Bronya Zaychik. Subsequently, as you progress in the game, you will be able to unlock new Valkyries that can be added to the squad. Included here are the Honkai Impact sweethearts: Theresa Apocalypse, Yae Sakura, Himeko Murata, Kallen Kaslana, Fu Hua, and Rita Rossweisse.

Upgrade, Evolve and Equip your Valkyries

Complete the story missions and upgrade your characters and their equipment to become stronger. Primarily, there are 5 different upgrades that you can perform on your Valkyries:

Level Up: Gain experience points (EXP) by clearing the story missions or getting victories in the battles. Leveling up increases the performance stats of the Valkyries.

Evolve: Increase your Valkyries’ performance and power by evolving them using fragments obtained from completing story missions.

Weapons: Equip your Valkyries with Weapons such as Dual Pistols, Katana, Greatswords, Cross, Gauntlets, Rocket Launcher and Particle Beam Cannon to increase their attack power and chances of getting critical hits. Upgrade the weapons to enhance their power. Note that each Valkyrie has their own specific weapon.

Stigmata: Increase the damage power of your Valkyrie. Collect a set of stigmata and gain extra bonus.

Skills: Skills are separated into 2 different types in Honkai Impact 3; active and passive. Level up your skills to deal more damage.

Unlimited Hands-On Action

Unlike games such as Mobile Legends Bang Bang and Guns of Boom, Honkai Impact 3 requires you to gain full control over your girls. While it means more work for you, the full control makes the game more engaging and allows for more participation from the players, rather than just watching the game unfold and play by itself (yawns!).

A Rich Storyline

At this point, there should be a Honkai Impact anime thanks to the great storyline that it presents. The world is in peril once again and it’s up to the femme fatales of the battleship Hyperion to save everyone. The Honkai are relentless as ever and they will stop at nothing until mankind vanquishes. Lots of action, comedy, drama and romance unfold as you progress through the game. All in all, the game will leave strong impact on you (no pun intended).

In fact, there’s even a Honkai Impact 3 manga and wallpaper collection on their official website!

High-Budget Cinematics and Gameplay Quality

With battles happening on different locales including the battleship Hyperion, Schicksal Headquarters, New Zealand and Houkai City, the view of each environment you fight on is absolutely stunning. According to the Honkai Impact 3 review by IGN, it “packs a console-quality action-game experience into a mobile package, with a combination of high-end, anime-style graphics and smooth, responsive controls driving arcade-like 3D brawling action.”

And yes, this Honkai Impact 3 PC port brought to you by Games.lol delivers the same intensity from its original platform! And no, this isn’t just some Honkai Impact 3 mod apk, this is the real deal.

Stunning Graphics with Matching Voice Narrations

Kudos to the graphics team for the character and background detail. While in battle, the camera will automatically pan and allowing you to have a 360° view of the battlefield. When dealing critical hits, the animation slows down by itself, allowing you to enjoy the scene of the final blow.

In between stages, the story unveils animations of the communication between you and the commander, Murata Himeko. It’s like watching an anime while playing a game! Honkai Impact 3 definitely brings anime combat games to a higher level with its stunning cinematics. But, it’s not just a feast for anime fans, it’s also gaming enjoyment for all players out there.

Not to mention, the Honkai Impact 3 anime cinematics is one of the best-looking cutscenes ever made for an anime-inspired action RPG. At this point, a Honkai Impact 3 anime should be in order!

Regular Game Updates

The regular updates in this game would introduce different storylines, game modes, and collectible items for players to explore. Nonetheless, you won’t help but keep coming back for more Honkai Impact 3 adventure! Download Honkai Impact 3 now!

Honkai Impact 3 Anime Character Descriptions:

Starting Characters

Kiana Kaslana | Valkyrie Ranger

Kiana Kaslana: Uses gun kata techniques to engage in melee and ranged combat. Dodges enemy attacks to trigger Time Fracture. Crushes enemies and deals massive damage with her ultimate skills.

Raiden Mei | Crimson Impulse

Raiden Mei: Combines ninjutsu and bushido techniques to engage in melee combat. Dashes in and out of battle with ninja-like reflexes. Diverse ultimate skills, varying from illusions to lightning attacks.

Bronya Zaychik | Yamabuki Armor

Bronya Zaychik: Suppresses enemies from a distance with cannons and lasers. Capable of evading enemies or blocking attacks with a shield. Warps time and space, freezing enemies or pulling them into a black hole.

Unlockable Characters

Murata Himeko | Scarlet Fusion

Murata Himeko: The tank of the team who uses a greatsword that deals high damage at the cost of low DPS. Ranges from CCs, high damage direct attacks and big charge-ups.

Theresa Apocalypse | Valkyrie Pledge

Theresa Apocalypse: The leader of the battleship Hyperion and the self-proclaimed world’s cutest loli. Her kit includes mid to long range damage using a cross weapon that is best used against groups of enemies and stacking combos. Honkai Impact 3 shows Theresa as the master of the girls despite her childish appearance.

Fu Hua | Valkyrie Accipiter

Fu Hua: A brawler with high DPS and a combo-based Ult while bringing utility for the whole team. She also helps in stacking combos for long periods as well as having low-cost SP to activate her ult.

Yae Sakura | Gyakushinn Miko

Yae Sakura: An Awakened Valkyrie who specializes in executing single enemies with a katana. Honkai Impact 3 portrays Yae Sakura as a legendary spirit from 500 years ago. She currently lives through the body of Raiden Mei.

Kallen Kaslana | Ritual Imayoh

Kallen Kaslana: Another Awakened Valkyrie who originated the gun kata that Kiana uses. She has one of the highest DPS in the game who is great against groups of enemies. Her spirit lives within Kiana.

Rita Rossweisse | Umbral Rose

Rita Rossweisse: A mysterious maid that wields a scythe into a fight. She’s very handy in close quarters against a group of enemies. Her style is like a mix of Mei and Theresa.

For a free-to-play action RPG, you might think the roster is low but each girl has her own different battlesuits – every battlesuit has its own playstyle that work very well on specific situations. They all have at least 4 different battlesuits, which results in more than 36 Valkyrie versions to unlock.

Honkai Impact 3 Guide, Tips, Wiki and Reddit:

Plan the Valkyrie to use in Battles

As experience points are only awarded to the Valkyrie who participated and won the battle, choose your Valkyries wisely and focus on the Valkyrie that works best with your gaming style. NeverlThere is a Honkai Impact 3 tier list found in forums but for us, just follow your heart and follow your favorite waifu. They’re all useful in every battle. But if you do insist yourself on the tiers of each girl, you can always check it out in the Honkai Impact 3 Reddit

Honkai Impact 3rd Story Mission Completion Rewards

Keep your Ultimate Move to the Last

Just like any Action RPG like Lineage 2 Revolution and Maplestory M, Honkai Impact 3rd requires players to execute attack combos to inflict greater damage to the opponent. In short, completing multiple combos charges up the ultimate move. Although, we recommend that you should save it until you encounter a boss or if you’re overwhelmed against a number of enemies. Hence, keep that trump card under your sleeve for worse case scenarios.

How to increase your Affection with a specific Valkyrie

If you have a knack for a particular girl, you can make her the observer on the bridge – in simplified terms, she’s the display for the main menu. Honkai Impact 3’s Affection system is done by the frequent usage of the specific Valkyrie.

For example, if you always use White Comet Kiana in missions, her affection for you grows and it doubles when she’s on the main menu Bridge. This maxes up to 4 hearts. Moreover, touching her on specific areas will lead to different reactions. Needless to say, it becomes the big UwU when you hit 4 hearts on any girl.

Fun Fact: Yae Sakura is the Honkai Impact community’s most common girl on the main menu Bridge according to the game’s official Twitter poll as of last September 2018. We’re pretty sure it’s her fluffy Honkai ears and thigh highs that attract a lot of the player base.

A Rule of Thumb about the Game Title…

Yes, the name is Honkai Impact 3 but there was never a Honkai Impact 1 or 2. The official prequel was named Guns Girl Z. However, the reason why it is called Honkai Impact 3rd/Houkai 3rd is because it is a reference to its own story. In other words, the game takes place after the events of the 3rd invasion of the Honkai creatures on earth.

For your information, Houkai 3rd is the official name for the Chinese, Japanese and Korean regions while Honkai Impact 3 is for SEA and Honkai Impact 3rd for the global region.

So download Honkai Impact 3 on PC today and join in this epic action-packed RPG adventure of a lifetime

Down load here: https://games.lol/honkai-impact-3/

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