#kick me paul my beloved

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

You know that kick me buddy? From poppy playtime that was rejected? I really like that toy solo can you do where the characters including bunzo pls react to reader just carrying a big potato and they refused to let it go?

Omg YES Paul. He is so shaped <3

Also for hcs with multiple toys I'm gonna hold off on doing ones for Bron, Catbee, Boogie Bot, and Candy Cat until their living forms make actual appearances in the game. 

So basically Huggy, Poppy, Kissy and the Ch 2 toys will be in the hcs for now

.......

Bunzo

He’s like “oh that’s Paul! Haven’t seen that guy around in a while!”

Although inanimate, you take such pride and joy in carrying him around, telling Bunzo all about him every time you enter Musical Memory.

Despite his namesake, you have no intentions of kicking him around.

The bunny sees how attached you are to him and just chuckles.

As long as you’re happy, he’s happy!

Mommy Long Legs

Really? Him?

Of all the toys you could possibly love and care for...you choose a reject??? He’s not even alive like she is!

But she can’t judge too harshly. As long as you’re smiling and happy (unlike the many bitter and tired adult staff members), then..she sees no reason to worry.

Even so she’ll wait for an opportunity to snatch him away from you when you least expect it.

PJ

One time you lost Paul in Statues and dug through the foam blocks for ten minutes to find him, only to see PJ emerge with something orange between his teeth.

“Good boy---wait, no get back here!!” You yell as he attempts to crawl away.

But you pried your beloved basketball buddy free from his mouth, huffing and cleaning the saliva.

“Shame on you!” You scold the swapimal as he gives you puppy-dog eyes. Those don’t work on you anymore. “He isn’t your chew toy! Show him more respect!!”

Next time you’re keeping Paul glued to your side.

Huggy

Ever since you started walking around with Paul, you learned to stay 10 feet away from Huggy.

You did not want him to squeeze him “till [he] popped”.

Like Mommy he’d probably get a little annoyed by you showering this deflated basketball with affection instead of him.

If there’s ever a rare time where you’re not holding Paul, Huggy’s gonna swoop in and demand a hug.

He doesn’t talk or physically frown but you can tell from his eyes that he’s jealous.

Poppy

After learning you saved Paul from a scheduled incineration, Poppy starts to realize maybe..you’re not all that bad.

You have empathy for inanimate toys, while she remembers the rest of the staff laughing when the idea was proposed.

You say there was never a “bad” concept in your eyes. You thought all the rejected toys had the potential to be loved by at least one child.

And if not, then you’ll love them instead.

Basically you tell Poppy “If Paul has a million fans I am one of them. If Paul has one fan that is me. If Paul has no fans I am no longer on this Earth”.

Kissy

She just smiles sweetly every time she sees you walking around with Paul.

You're just so cute! She'd kiss you in a heartbeat.

You two can sit together for hours and talk about the elaborate backstory you've given him, and Kissy's all ears.

With your permission she’ll pat his head, convinced you two would be best friends forever if he was alive.

Huggy Buddies

They get super jealous, much like their father.

Why don't you share??? That's rude :(

You fear that one day a Buddy will snatch Paul and take him to their hideout, never to be seen again.

So you’re always on-guard whenever you enter Whack-A-Wuggy.

You just hiss like a cat and bop them with the Grabpack palms, showing them you mean business.

#in short #kick me paul my beloved #clanask #anonymous #poppy playtime x reader #bunzo bunny #mommy long legs #huggy wuggy #poppy playtime #kissy missy #pj pug a pillar #huggy buddies #kick me paul #headcanons #platonic

[pennylanefics]

Safe - Paul Lahote

a/n: finished this in a couple hours last night :D

summary: during a winter storm, paul’s car breaks down on the side of the road, at a time in which rampant vampires are running wild

warnings: mentions of anxiety

word count: 1.3k (exactly omg)

It was a stupid idea to begin with. The roads were slowly becoming fully covered with snow, but you two wanted to stay at the lookout for just a little while longer, enjoying the peaceful view and getting away from civilization for a while.

However, it was now dark out, even though it was only six o’clock, and there was no indication of a road in front of you.

“Paul, why don’t we just pull over for now and wait till the morning,” you offer, your anxiety rising as he swerves due to some ice on the road.

“Babe, you really wanna stay in this truck for twelve fucking hours?” He snaps, though not too harsh, it was coming from a place of security and protectiveness.

“I’d rather that than attempt to drive and fall off the fucking road into a ditch,” you reply. Paul glances over at you and right away, he can sense your worry. He sighs softly and carefully maneuvers his beloved truck down the road.

“I’ll try to be as careful as I can, baby, but I want to get back home so you’re not freezing in here.”

“You do realize that you have a super high body temperature that could keep me warm all night?” You joke. Paul laughs along with you and shrugs his shoulders.

“I know, but I don’t-no, no, no no!” He groans as a clicking noise sounds from the truck, the engine giving out just as he pulls onto the side of the ‘road’, thankfully on the side with the wall of rock, so there was no way to skid off the edge and into the forest.

“Fucking shit,” Paul mutters to himself, trying to turn the car on. But it’s no use. The truck was completely broken down, and there was no way to jump start it.

There was most likely no one else out at the moment, so no passing cars could be of help. The pack was away for the night and wouldn’t return until the morning, deterring some new group of vampires that was terrorizing the town.

“Well, good thing we have some leftovers,” you murmur, trying to lighten the mood. Paul glances over at you and smiles, grabbing your hand.

“I’m sorry. We should’ve left earlier,” Paul says, shaking his head and looking down in his lap.

“I also wanted to stay, so it’s just as much my fault as it is yours,” you tell him, hoping it makes him feel better. “But I’m glad that you’re not gonna be driving anymore tonight because it’s really scaring me.”

Paul’s face falls and guilt settles in his chest. He should’ve listened to his instincts when he first felt your nerves arise.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to scare you, it’s…” he tapers off, nervous about telling you his true feelings. However, he’s also cut off by you shivering, the cold temperature outside starting to seep inside.

His protectiveness kicks in and he hops into the backseat, motioning for you to join him. But you are unable to gracefully climb into the back, so you get ready to hop out and just get in through the backseat door, but Paul stops you.

“I don’t want you going out there, even if it’s for a split second,” he begs. You stare at him in disbelief.

“I’m not gonna get frostbitten in two seconds.” The look in Paul’s eyes tells you something else is up, so you sit back in your seat, looking at the space that you have to crawl over.

Finally, you manage to stumble back with Paul, falling into his arms, which wrap around you to make sure you didn’t fall off the seat and onto the floor. Your giggles fill the car and Paul grabs a blanket from the trunk while you get comfortable, picking up the picnic basket and finding something to snack on for now.

Paul throws the blanket around your shoulders for now, you curling into his side, finally relaxing into his body.

“See, this isn’t so bad,” you whisper when you finish your snack. Paul chuckles and kisses your forehead.

“For now. Just wait till it drops to ten degrees later in the night.”

“But at least this gives us more time to talk,” you point out.

“Or make out?” Paul offers. You gaze up at him, finding him smirking down at you. A similar smirk tugs at your lips and your hand trails up to his neck to pull him down to you.

Forty-five minutes go by, and you could already tell the temperature was beginning to drop. But with Paul beside you, it wasn’t a big issue. You end up throwing a second cover over his body, just to lock the heat in so that you could feel it more.

He even slipped his shirt off to allow you to feel his burning skin, which you very much enjoyed.

“Does…does you not wanting me to go out there have to do with that group of vampires?” You ask during a lull in the conversation.

You’ve been stuck for about four hours now, and it was coming to the point where you had no idea what to talk about anymore. So, you decide to bring this up.

“Who told you?” Paul mumbles, upset that the pack secret had gotten out. Sitting up from his chest, you grab his hand.

“Emily. It slipped out and I promised I wouldn’t say anything but-”

“Shh,” he coos, placing a finger on your lips to silence you, “it’s okay. I figured one of the other girls would tell you because the guys tell them everything.”

“Then how come you didn’t say anything to me?”

He pauses and carefully thinks over his words, his mouth falling open and closing as he does.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” he finally says. “I know you had a close call with Victoria, and I didn’t want to frighten you with another set of vampires. I knew the pack would be able to drive them up north, so there wasn’t any real worry, but of course vampires are unexpected, so who knows what would’ve happened.”

“And you were scared that they could be around us and smell me when I stepped out of the car?” You could feel your anxiety rising once again, and this time, Paul senses it immediately.

“Hey, hey,” he whispers, cradling your face in his hands. “Yeah, I was…but again, I didn’t want to scare you. You’re safe with me, like you always are. I promise.” You nod and curl back into his chest, sighing softly.

“Paul?” Your voice rings out in the still air, after a few minutes of nothing.

“Hm?”

“Hold me tighter?” You softly beg. Paul’s heart aches in his chest at the tone of your voice. But, he obeys your wish and tightens his grip, pulling you as close to his body as possible.

“Do you wanna switch positions? Do you want me to spoon you, or is this okay?” He asks. You hum happily, snuggling your face into his neck, a small grin displayed on your lips.

“No, this is perfect. Thank you.” He kisses your head softly and rests his cheek in the spot afterwards.

“Get some rest, alright, baby? I’ll call Emily in the morning for her and Sam to come help once he’s awake.” You nod against his shoulder and shut your eyes, focusing on the heat surrounding you and the feel of his body next to yours.

It always did the trick to get you to sleep, and within minutes, you were out like a light, but Paul stayed awake, keeping a lookout to make sure no one else was around and that you were safe.

Though you knew you were safe with Paul, no matter what.

—

paul lahote taglist: @volturiwolf

#paul lahote #paul lahote imagines #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote imagine #twilight #twilight wolf pack #wolf pack imagines #alex meraz #twilight new moon #twilight eclipse #twilight breaking dawn #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Marsha Hunt (The Human Comedy, College Holiday, These Glamour Girls)—To be honest, I haven't had the chance to see a lot of her films, but she was an amazing person. A beautiful, popular actress during the 30s and 40s, Marsha was unfairly blacklisted during the Red Scare for speaking out against McCarthyism. Instead of letting that stop her, she focused her efforts on humanitarian work for causes such as world hunger, poverty, and pollution. She was also a support of same-sex marriage. Side note to any fellow fashion history nerds, she wrote a book on 30s-40s fashion. She stayed true to her beliefs through the years, and passed away at the age of 104 in 2022.

Fredi Washington (Imitation of Life, The Emperor Jones)—She was a beautiful woman whose movie career was struck short because she refused to pass as white, but she did get to star with the greats like Cab Calloway, Hattie McDaniel, Paul Robeson, Duke Ellington, Louise Beavers, etc. Being a person of moral and conviction is hot. Also, she knew ballet and was a beautiful dancer in general.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Marsha Hunt:

Marsha Hunt first signed with Paramount in 1935 at the age of seventeen, kicking off a prolific career as a beloved Hollywood star and fashion model. Her distinctive profile and facial structure earned her the nickname “Curly Lips”: “Besides a rounded forehead, almost no nose bridge, and a nose that curved upwards, even my lips curled up at the corners. Ronald Coleman and his wife Benita told me they used to describe me to each other as ‘Curly Lips.’ I decided that anything that helped two people I adored take notice of me would no longer keep me awake at nights.” (The Way We Wore, p.95) Marsha appeared in about seventy films over almost eighty years, including Hollywood Boulevard, College Holiday, Easy Living, These Glamour Girls, Irene, Pride and Prejudice, Blossoms in the Dust, Thousands Cheer, The Human Comedy, and many more. She was blacklisted during the McCarthy era for publicly defending Hollywood from the accusations of the House Committee on Un-American Activities, alongside Lucille Ball, Humphrey Bogart, Deanna Durbin, Henry Fonda, Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, and many other members of the Hollywood community.

Fredi Washington propaganda:

Short Hollywood career for being too light-skinned to play maid roles, but too brown to be cast opposite a white man in the time. Civil Rights activist. Worked with Paul Robeson to create the Negro Actors Guild. Heavy work in theatre and the NAACP.

#fredi washington #marsha hunt #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 2

[the-lost-boys-wife]

INCORRECT THE LOST BOYS! QUOTES

(Heyy so this is my first official post! I was just messing around during school and went on incorrect quotes and found them too funny not to share, I hope y’all enjoy🥰)

Y/N : Dwayne is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Marko: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he’s doubled over in pain, kiss him-

Paul: Tackle him!

David: Dump him.

Michael : Kick him in the shin!

Dwayne : No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

Y/N : David kissed me!

Marko: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Y/N : It was unbelievable!

Marko: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Dwayne : Okay, we wanna hear everything. Marko, get the wine and unplug the phone. Y/N , does this end well or do we need tissues?

Y/N : Oh, it ended very well.

Marko: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Dwayne : Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Y/N : Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Dwayne : Ohh... So, okay, was he holding you? Or was his hands on your back?

Y/N : First he started out on my waist and then he slid his hands up and then they were in my hair.

Marko and Dwayne : Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

David eating pizza in the cave: And, uh, and then I kissed them.

Michael : Tongue?

David: Yeah.

Paul stoned out of his mind: Cool.

Paul : Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Marko, taken from us in the prime of life; when he was crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Marko: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death

David: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch".

Paul: I see you're passing on your name.

Dwayne and the rest of the boys: 🫢…

David: I’d advise you start running boy-

#the lost boys #the lost boys x you #poly!lost boys x reader #dwayne x reader #david x reader #marko x reader #paul x reader #michael x reader #the lost boys incorrect quotes #the lost boys 1987

[songbird-oracle]

Live thoughts watching Fantasy High Junior Year episode 5

Spoilers ahead

Im so nervous already about Cassandra

These dudes getting swole

It IS spicy tonight in the dome

Screaming

I WANT A BOGGY KISS

OH FUCK SHES HOLD MONSTERING KRISTEN

THE SECURITY COMING THROUGH OH SHIT

“Do you want me to kill that guy for you 👀” vibes

OH NO PLEASE NO NIGHTMARE KING OH NO OH NO

I’m Shittering my pants rn

No not the girlies!

Located in the astral mall, This place has *everything*. Ripped valley girls, a goddess and prophet and familiar going through a very tumultuous time in their relationship, a frog wearing a paper hat, and a weird ass clock

I live for the hangman banter

Oml I love the Yarrbucks coffee art

LOU HOLY SHIT

BOX OF DOOM DC5!? The stakes are seriously so high though

Okaaaaaaaay 13 works ig

“Does she need scratchies?”

Wooo Murph!!

THE STAR TALKS!?

I love Emily’s reaction to “banging out a 1st level spell”

Riz sadly flossing

Oh no Kristen oh no Cassandra!

No stop attacking Cassandra!!!!

🎶non-a-crits🎶

Thank goodness no failures

Break it up guys come ooooooooon

Damn, man needs strudel with sauce at a time like this

Profiling the minis 🤣

NOT THE TAP DANCING

“I don’t think you’re scared, I think you’re mad. And that’s okay” I’m sobbing

YES THE FUCKING SECURITY DETAIL

Kristen is so low, oh no

A 0 initiative 🥲

FUCK THIS IS WHAT RAGHS MOM ABSORBED!?!? Gorgug is the greatest wizard of our time

Abjurative grammar is prescriptive. Iykyk.

I knew the DC would be high

NAT 20 BEARDSLEY IN THE FUCKING HOUUUUUUUSE

YESSSSS HEALED CASSANDRA 😭

Oh fuck oh fuck bad stars

Let it out Cassandra, feel your feelings

Oh my goodness, philosophers scone

OOP PAUL BLART INTERGALACTIC MALL COP

It’s not the nightmare king??????

41 damage each, damn Adaine

We aren’t even half way through guys

BAHAHAHAHAHHA playful picking on Riz

Mass dispelling?? Damn

????? TUMMY ACHE SURVIVOR????

THE SHRIMP!!!!!!

Why is Fig a walking embodiment of Murphy’s law rn???

WHAT THE FUCK

NO NO NO DID GILEAR STEAL HER LUCK??????

IS THIS QUADRANGLE FUCKERY??????

Okay it’s just a curse

WAIT WHAT???

Cloaca why 😂

Whoopsies, shattered the shatter star

Oh fuck, rage Adaine is scary dude

Is this some rage and revenge deity??

Anyone but Conor

BAHAHAHAHAHA “no no, this is gonna happen”

“Stay hot Conor”

NOT KALINA NO

RAGH??????

Not the shimmy

WHAT IS KALINAS AC

44 DAMAGE??

Old Fabian

Legend has it the wizard is still waiting for his strudel with sauce

WHAT THE FUCK NO NOT CASSANDRA NO NO NO

“Unfortunately stop flossing”

COMPELLED DUEL ON KALINA OH FUCK

3!!!!! Woooooo!!!!!

Worst mall cop ever, Paul Blart would never

🤣 “is that not property damage??”

I’m so scared for Cassandra guys

Kristen and Cassandra are down oh no 🥲

BARDIC SHRIMPSPIRATION

NO NAT ONE NO NOOOOOOOO

Somewhere Katja Cleaver is raging because Conor Counterspell said he hates horses

A ball. Not *the* ball

ARMOR ZOMBIE AND LICH IM LIVING FIR THESE NAMES

Bards and Noble 🤣

Kristen coming in with the hugs

Box of doom has been working hard this episode

Shake out the bad ones

Screaming crying throwing up

I can’t look

Dammit Murph

Ecaf again

“What are you talking about girlieeeee?”

Brendan’s stare scares me

FUCK

Strudel for the win Girlie!!!

“One more roll girlie 🤪”

Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no circle of death oh no

COUNTERSPELL MY BELOVED

“How old are you” “45” “gross”

WAIT WHAT TIME REVERSE TO- TEN SECONDS

Conor, you’re the best secret service agent ever

WHAT????? WHERES CASSANDRA??????

WHAT????????

I’m so fucking scared right now

Wait is Cassandra a triple goddess? Like how Hekate is a triple goddess, is Cassandra one? Cause Cassandra, Nightmare king, and a divine thing that isn’t a different divinity?

I want to enjoy “we got that bad boy buttered” but I can’t 🥲

Dead stare 🥲

I love Hangman 🥹

Feral Murph

NAT 20 SHRIMP JUMP

Thousand yard stare

Best shrimp jump ever

Maximum legend

That’s right, kick flip the system

Fuck KandyKorn Lullaby

See you at Basrars, I’ll be sobbing into my ice cream

#d20 fhjy #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 fhjy #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #fig faeth #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #Cassandra #d20 fantasy high #d20 #fantasy high

[cloudsspoke]

Though the final match between Argentina versus France has been dubbed by the majority of people as the best World Cup Final, personally this is the best match throughout World Cup 2022, or more like, the most unforgettable one.

The altercation between players started after what Lea did to the Dutch’s bench. Things escalated quickly from that moment. It got worse because Lahoz gave them 10mins additional times and once it ended, the 2nd brawl happened almost instantly.

Dunno what the hell is wrong with that Bergwijn guy 💀🤬.

It’s a good thing Ota came right on time. It looks as if he noticed Bergwijn’s movement and Ota used his body as armor to protect his teammate from violent Bergwijn. We never know which player Bergwijn intended to hurt when he suddenly marched into the players’ mob like that (there’s Macca and Lea right there, Bergwijn proly wanted to hurt them).

This post is solely to capture the fight scenes, for the penalty shoot-out scenes read here.

The game ended after Lautaro successfully converted his penalty kick. The Dutch players got to see El General do this ‘Roman’ celebration right in front of their faces.

But the next fight happened exactly after that. Well, actually there are 2 fights happened at the same time.

Scene #1 was when Lahoz gave Dumpfries red card and Dybala was seen happily mocking Dumpfries. His mouth and his gesture showed that he told Dumpfries to go home. Dumpfries fumed and marched to probably kill Dybala, but Tagliafico shielded Dumpfries from doing that.

can someone tell me what Papu posted on his Instagram story that day 🤔?

Meanwhile, the other scene involved Noa Lang who pushed Paredes and Papu who pushed Lang back.

From this angle we can see how Tagliafico held Dumpfries off with all his might.

It’s a never-ending drama that we saw one after another. And again, in between Argies’ celebration, Messi came to Van Gaal and this whole thing happened:

I know we should respect the elder, with Van Gaal being the senior coach and all that, but at this moment, somos todos Rodrigo De Paul. I can imagine De Paul proly said: “Ay, señor this is what happens if you talk too much about us. See, now you make Leo angry. Jajaja~ Enjoy your exit, señor. Chao~”

And while Rodri loved every second of provoking Van Gaal, our Angelito came to pull Messi away from the altercation. He’s our MOM, okay? Fide is truly the MOTHER ANGEL 👼 of this chaotic group. First, he protected Enzo from Dumpfries, then protected Enzo from hearing DIbu’s cursing, and at last, when everyone tried to calm the shit out of Leo with no success, somehow as soon after Fide stepped in, just like that the altercation ended.

And of course, being such an Angel as he was, Fide took a moment to hug Frans Hoek 👼❤️♥️(The Dutch’s GK coach, who used to work with both Van Gaal and Fide in United)

Not only did Messi pay a ‘friendly’ visit to The Dutch’s bench, but our beloved Dibu too, this time we all could hear his direct message clearly.

Impressive.

My favorite moment?

It’s when Dibu joined his teammate’s celebration and half-joking cursed Enzo for his failed penalty attempt. Di Maria stood there watching that moment smiling, but he saved Enzo from Dibu’s wrath when Di Maria pulled Dibu into a hug, gave Enzo an exit to escape from Dibu.

***

Talk about La Scaloneta destined to be World Cup champion cuz it’s been written in the stars, there are 2 things I found that are interesting from this match against Nederland.

First, when Lahoz yellow-carded Gonza for protesting just 3 minutes after Gonza came to the pitch to replace Molina. That yellow card banned Gonza from playing in the next game, in case the Argies advanced to the Semifinal round. But that didn’t stop him from executing the penalty kick.

With his success, along with Leo’s, Lea’s, and Lautaro’s, La Scaloneta did advance to the next round, where they won easily against Croatia, and Gonza was benched without major problems. Meanwhile, during Argies’ last, final game against France when the victory had to be determined through a penalty shoot-out, we got him ready, unpunished, and he did his job well once again.

*

And then we have Dybala 💎. People have been asking and waiting for when he will play. His chance came to light with Argentina’s victory over Nederland. Fun fact, his first-ever World Cup debut was in 2018, the same game against Croatia when he came to sub Tevez, only this time the Argies won 3-0 and advanced to the final.

And as we all know, in the Final match Scaloni put him in to prepare La Joya to take part in the penalty shoot-out. He didn’t waste that chance. He helped Argies to get the World Cup trophy, despite only playing for no less than 20mins throughout the whole tournament.

The reason why I mentioned Dybala in this post is because of what he revealed later that he remembered what Dibu said to Enzo: "kick the ball to the center". I can say that Enzo’s failure during the match against Nederland somehow helped La Joya to convert his kick successfully.

***

If you think the drama between Argentina players and The Dutch ended on the field, nope. It continued even during the post-match interview session.

Dibu, they hear you: Lahoz announced retirement and Van Gaal too.

🇦🇷✨🏆

#Argentina NT #World Cup 2022 #La Scaloneta #Lionel Scaloni #Lionel Messi #Angel Di Maria #Leandro Paredes #Rodrigo de Paul #Alexis Mac Allister #Nicolas Otamendi #Geronimo rulli #Juan Foyth #Lautaro Martinez #Gonzalo Montiel #Paulo Dybala #Marcos Acuña #Nahuel Molina #Emiliano Martinez #Dibu Martinez #Enzo Fernandez #Nicolas Tagliafico #Papu Gomez #Virgil Van Dijk #Louis Van Gaal #Mateu Lahoz #Arg v Ned #Scaloneta #WC 2022

[wesleyhill]

Returning to Dust

A homily on 2 Corinthians 5:21 preached on Ash Wednesday 2024 at Pillar Church, Holland, Michigan

A few years ago, a beloved friend and colleague told me that she was heading to see a doctor. She had noticed some strange, dark purple bruises on the tops of several of her toes. She couldn’t remember kicking something too hard or tripping over something. She was sure it was nothing, she told me.

Martha was my friend’s name. She was an Anglican priest, a professor of pastoral theology, and a sought-after preacher and speaker. Never married, she was a queen of hospitality. She cooked lavishly and masterfully. She sang loudly, operatically, often ensuring that the descants weren’t neglected in our seminary chapel services. She painted. She had two enormous standard poodles whom she adored. She was so full of life.

Within a matter of days, she had an explanation for the bruising on her toes. She was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia, a fast-growing cancer that starts in the bone marrow and then proceeds to the blood. All of us who knew Martha, who had been the grateful recipients of her joy and zest for life, were in shock.

This was at the end of 2013. By the time Ash Wednesday of 2014 came around, Martha had been through three rounds of chemotherapy and was then in the hospital. She asked if some of us would come to her room and give her ashes and pray the liturgy with her.

I recall stepping into her room and into the light of her smile. Her arms were reddened with rashes, and she was wearing a handknit scarf over her shaved head. She was visibly weaker than I’d ever seen her, but I laughed at the 8” by 10” on her wall — a color photo from her visit to an antique store several weeks earlier at which she had donned an ancient Roman soldier’s helmet and brandished a broadsword, teeth clenched in mock rage. There was still plenty of fight left in her, I said, and she agreed.

And then we began to pray: “Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

Sean, the priest who was with us, then read these words from Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians: “For our sake God made Christ to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Christ we might become the righteousness of God.”

And then Sean dipped his thumb in ashes and made the sign of the cross on Martha’s forehead. I remember thinking her skin looked too taut and unnaturally shiny. Sean said to Martha, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

There are probably as many different reasons you are here in church tonight as there are people in the room. But I suspect that almost all of us — to some degree, whether knowingly or unwittingly — are here because we want to hear good news. We want to believe that there is some hope for us and for those we love. And maybe you are wondering as you sit here, as I was wondering standing next to Martha’s hospital bed, how it is good news that we are dust and that we shall one day return to dust?

There are two ways — two separate but interrelated ways — of thinking about this. In the first place, there’s a sense in which the words you’re about to hear and the symbol you’re going to receive on your forehead are not “good news” in any straightforward sense. Frederick Buechner says that the Christian good news is a tragedy, a comedy, and a fairy tale, but before it is a comedy and a fairy tale, it is first a tragedy. The apostle Paul calls death an enemy to be defeated. It is not good that our lives are cut off by cancer, famine, war, despair, or any of the million other calamities that can end our days on earth. And before we can really take to heart the good news of Easter — “Death has been swallowed up in victory” — we need to face squarely the depth of the tragedy we’re in. Death was not God’s original good purpose for us. Death is a thief and a tyrant.

So the good news that we proclaim here on Ash Wednesday is not that death is somehow not as bad as it seems, that it’s maybe more of a friend than a foe. No, the good news is that, in spite of the tragedy of death, we have a Lord and Savior who has conquered death by dying. Christ Jesus came into the world to share our human plight, to take on his shoulders all our pain and sin, and to go all the way into our bleakest human experience — death — and to emerge triumphant from the tomb on the third day.

So it isn’t the fact that we’re going to die that is itself the good news. You already know that, and you don’t need to come to church to hear me tell you about it or receive ashes to inform you about something you weren’t aware of. It’s rather that the announcement about our dying is the tragic prelude to the best news we could hope to hear — that the unconditional Friend of sinners has triumphed over death, and he now says with outstretched arms to everyone who will receive him, “Peace be with you” and “Nothing will ever be able to separate you from my love.”

But I think we can turn this around and come at it from the other direction, so to speak. Christ the Lord has journeyed to us, to share our death as the human being who is God, and so overcome it. But that means that in some deep sense our dying can now become our movement toward Jesus, toward the God who formed us from the dust at first.

It is still true that death is an enemy — but not only an enemy. Listen to how the New Testament scholar Morna Hooker has made this point: “Because Christ is fully one with [humanity] in all [our] experiences, these [experiences] can now be understood in terms of life in Christ.” Our dying, in other words, isn’t only our sharing in the miserable condition of Adam. It is our sharing in Jesus’ experience of the condition of Adam. We don’t go to death by ourselves. Jesus has already gone there ahead of us, and when we die, we are with him.

Or listen to how George MacDonald says it: “The Son of God suffered unto death, not that [human beings] might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His.” It isn’t that Jesus suffered death so that we don’t have to. We are still made of dust, and we will all of us return to dust. But Jesus’ dying means that when we return to dust in our caskets or in the crematorium, our dying isn’t just the final experience of solitary suffering we have to somehow find a way to endure. It is our joining Jesus in the suffering he underwent — our final “conformity” to him, as Paul describes it.

This is what that text from 2 Corinthians that we read in my friend Martha’s hospital room is all about: “For our sake God made Christ to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Christ we might become the righteousness of God.” It’s what Luther called the “great exchange.” Christ takes to himself the whole human condition and experience. He tastes every last drop of it. He goes all the way down into the fathomless darkness of death. And the outcome is that we, in our suffering and mortality, in our journey toward becoming dust, become in and through him God’s own beloved forever. Death is real, but it has lost its sting. It has been defanged. It is now our final passage into the arms of the God who loves us eternally.

My friend Martha died eleven months after her cancer diagnosis. When she first received the diagnosis, she was adamant that she would beat the leukemia. “God has more work for me to do here,” she said firmly. “Pray for my healing, don’t pray for a good dying.” But by the end, she had faced with hard-won honesty and humility and a beautiful Christian hope the fact that she was dust and was now returning to dust. And she said, with the martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “This is the end — for me the beginning of life.”

Amen.

[goatcheesecak3]

HI UR WRITING IS INCREDIBLE UR SO COOL

i was wondering (if your requests are still open) if you could do a dean taylor fic with a GN reader where he lowkey has a breakdown and his partner helps him through it??

just rewatched the entitled, so brainrot is strong lmao

feel free to ignore !!

Nightmare

Dean Taylor x gn!reader

A/n hello! I've actually had this fic in the drafts for about a month, I just never got round to finishing it, so thanks for the suggestion and giving me the metaphorical kick up the arse I needed to finish it :^))) and thank you so much for saying you like my other stuff! It means a lot :^)))

Contains: angst, fluff, not catered to any gender in particular, brief mentions of hostage situation, gun violence

It had been nearly a year since that fateful night. The night you'd stopped Dean from making the worst mistake of his life, the night neither of you were supposed to survive, the night that still haunted both of you. That scumbag Paul had had Dean and Jenna both wrapped around his fingers, with empty promises of a better life and revenge against those who'd wronged them. You'd never bought Paul's act, but it want until it was almost too late that you realised just how awful he really was.

That sinking feeling, when you finally realised what was to happen to Dean was nothing short of mortal dread. You had been sat in your apartment, having opted out of the scheme, because something about it just didn't seem right. Pondering, desperately trying to find the cause of this uneasy feeling, when all of a sudden the pieces just fell into place, and your worst fears were confirmed. You recalled the pit in your stomach bubbling, with rage, fear and nausea all at once, because you'd just realised that Paul had planned to kill your beloved Dean that night.

Almost a year on from that night, you and Dean were both finally leaving those memories in the past. The pair of you had moved to a new city, began to get your lives together, and from an outsider perspective, you almost seemed like a normal couple. But in the dead of night, when no one else was around, you knew that the two of you were bound by your secrets, by your shared pain, sorrow and scars.

"Get off her/him/them" Dean mumbled in his sleep. He was having that dream again.

You held him close to you, hoping that by some miracle your touch would be enough to stop him from reliving that night.

You knew exactly what part of the night he was dreaming about. You'd gone to the house where the scheme was taking place, and were trying to find a way to get Dean out without alerting anyone else. That was when Jenna found you lurking about the property, and had frogmarched you into the house at gunpoint, all too eager to finish you off execution-style. Thanks to Dean, you'd both made it out alive, but it was a close call. You were certain that your fate had been sealed, and you'd never forget that feeling.

It would appear that Dean was never to forget that feeling either, as he stirred in his sleep. You watched his brows furrow, his lips quiver as he mumbled incoherent sounds and his hands gripped the bedsheets. He'd wake himself up soon.

You got to work turning the lamp on, and cracking the window slightly. The cool air would hopefully help bring Dean back to reality, and the warm orange glow from the lamp that illuminated the room, would help him realise he was safe in his bedroom the second he woke up.

Dean let out a choked gasp, as he sat bolt upright. His eyes huge and bug-like, his breathing shallow and fast. His hands scrambled across the bedsheets, searching for nothing in particularly, until your hands found them.

"Dean, honey?" You said, taking his hands in your own and rubbing them softly.

His eyes darted to you, and without hesitation, he threw himself at you in a hug, holding you tight and hiding his face in your chest, letting out small quiet sobs.

"Shhhh, baby, it's okay. It was just a dream. That's all, just a bad dream," you rubbed his back soothingly and kissed the top of his head.

"Sh.. she was gonna kill you," Dean blubbered, trembling in your arms like a lost puppy.

"But you saved me, baby!" You whispered reassuringly, "look at me, Dean, come on"

You tenderly held his chin and tilted his face to look at you, running your thumb over his skin to calm him as you did so.

"My brave boy, you saved me, didn't you?"

Dean's big sad eyes blinked away tears, as he nodded timidly. It pained you to see your usually cocky and laid back boyfriend so frightened.

You pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead and ran your fingers over his cheek.

"It's okay, baby. It's over now, we're safe."

He nuzzled into your chest again, his clammy hands gripping tightly at your nightshirt.

"Every time I close my eyes it's like I'm back in that fucking house" he cried, his tone sounding ever so slightly angry, but mostly just defeated and hurt.

"I know, I know" you cooed, stroking his head and rubbing his back, "come on, let's get you some fresh air, it'll calm you down."

You picked up a blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around Dean's trembling shoulders, carefully taking him out to the balcony.

Two rusty iron chairs sat facing out to the city, with an equally dishevelled iron table, home to an overflowing ashtray. You and Dean took your seats and let the cool midnight air wash over you, listening to the distant sounds of cars and late night party goers. After liberating two cigarettes from their packet, you handed one to Dean who took it eagerly. His hand shook like a leaf as he smoked, causing Ash to drop all over the balcony. You watched as Dean inhaled with deep, slow breaths, savouring every last bit of nicotine he could get. It wasn't your typical breathing exercise, but at least he wasn't hyperventilating anymore. These technically being your first cigarettes of the day, rendered the pair of you quite light headed and dizzy.

"How you feeling babe?" You asked quietly, not wanting to startle Dean.

"Tired.. and cold" he replied, groggily, sounding ever so slightly stuffy from crying.

"You wanna try going back to bed?"

He nodded, and stood up to head back inside, you followed.

He seemed calmer now, still clearly not doing well, but collected and less afraid.

The pair of you climbed into bed, and Dean crawled over to you, resting his head on your chest and draping his arm over you. He looked so sweet, his pink lips puffed out in a sleepy pout, his soft hands curled into relaxed fists, and his eyelids droopy.

"Night night, Dean" you whispered.

"Wait..." he mumbled

"Hm?"

"Can you do that thing where you rub my back again? It feels nice" he said, without opening his eyes, only shifting on his side slightly, to give you better access to his back.

"Course I can, babe" you smiled to yourself.

"Love you" he murmured, clearly more asleep than awake at this point.

"Love you too, big guy".

A/n hello! Sorry if this wasn't exactly the most "Dean" fic, it's really hard to write for him without either completely flanderizing him, or making him too cute and fluffy you know? I hope I did him justice though!

Replies and reblogs are very much appreciated! I thrive on your validation lmao

Requests are open! Check my pinned post for details and masterlist! <3

#dean taylor fanfic #dean taylor x reader #devon bostick dean taylor #the entitled dean #dean taylor #the entitled #devon bostick #dev bostick #rodrick #rodrick heffley #fluff #angst #not my rodrick

[sad-ghost-of-garbage]

Ivy Act III

Author: SadGhostofGarbage

David x G/N reader and Michael x G/N reader

Warnings: MDNI! TOXIC relationships, DARK fic, swearing, cheating on a partner, torture, mental manipulation, pet names, David calls himself daddy but like he’s not wrong. Mentions of sex. Reader having insecurities.

This is where things kick up, read the warnings, this is a DARK chapter

Act III SUMMER 

“The kind of stuff that makes me a monster.” 

Michael’s words have been all you could think about. What did they mean? Why would he think himself a monster? Surely Michael would never do something so awful that he could be considered a monster? The weight of his words hung on your neck like a brick. You so desperately wanted to help him, sitting idle and watching his pain made your stomach churn.

Tonight you were torn between being excited and worried. Excited because David invited you to the cave to hangout with him and the boys, worried because you can’t stop thinking about Michael, you wanted to prove to him that he was good and that he wasn’t what he proclaimed himself to be. Entering the cave was always tricky and this time was no different as you stumbled into the main cavern. The music was already playing and it seemed the boys were already up to shenanigans. David caught you as you stumbled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. 

“You ready for one hell of a night kitten?” He starts leading you over to the middle of the room. “I can’t wait for you to meet our good friend,” with his other arm he makes a sweeping gesture over to a figure who was currently preoccupied by politely listening to one of Paul’s rants. A figure that made you stiffen and your heart stop. “Michael, come over here and meet my beloved.” Turning at the sound of his name Michael’s eyes fill  with shock and horror as his gaze meets yours. Michael had known you were in a relationship. That technically you were someone else's, but that didn’t stop either of you from exploring the feelings and sensations that you felt when together. Michael just hadn’t known you were in a relationship with David. “Look at that kitten you’ve got him speechless, how’s the saying go?” With a shit eating grin he pulls you onto his lap as he sits. “What’s the matter Michael, cat got your tongue?” Michael’s eyes lingered on you for too long it seemed, and did not go unnoticed. David’s gaze flicked between the two of you, “Although it seems like you two are already acquainted, Michael?” Snapped out of his shock and horror he shakes his head and replies,

“We bumped into each other the other day, I just didn’t know they were the one you were talking about. Just shocked it was a semi-familiar face.”

“Yeah, he helped me out when I almost fell.” You say, it was technically the truth, just not the whole truth. 

 “It’s good that you two get along then.” David leans forward putting his lip onto your temple, his eyes never leaving Michael’s. Since you were facing Michael you couldn’t see the smirk on David’s lips as he kissed you either. “Since you two will be spending a long time together.”

You couldn’t help but squirm, being in David’s grasp while under Michael’s gaze was torture, all you wanted was to be in Michael’s arms instead, and every touch from David send frigid chills down your body seeming to encourage the blonde even further.

After that night in the cave your life was turned upside down. When you met Michael the next day he tried to tell you that you needed to stop seeing David and him. 

“What the hell are you talking about Michael? Are you telling me you don’t want to see me anymore?” The foggy feeling of loneliness started to seep back into your mind as your heart started to break.

“No god no! Of course I don’t want to stop seeing you, it’s just-. Look, you can’t be around either of us, it's not safe.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“Do you remember when I said I was a monster?”

“Yes and-” before you could even protest, he was cutting you off.

“No matter your opinion on it, I am what I am and it’s because of David.”

“Okay but you would never hurt me Michael, I trust you. Whatever it is you can tell me, I can help you. I want to help you.”

“No, the last person who tried… No, I don't want David hurting you.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me Michael, sure he’s scary but he wouldn’t-” out of frustration Michael cuts you off.

“He’s a goddamn vampire y/n!” His blue eyes blaze with emotion so many your heart drops, fear, pain, worry, and love to name the easily recognized. “He killed Star, threatened my family, and I love you and I don’t want him to turn you into this!” Gesturing to himself he slumps to the ground as tears well in his eyes. Stunned, you sit down next to Michael. 

Vampires? 

Did you believe it? 

Michael seemed to; he was too emotional to be pulling a prank on you, meaning he had to believe it himself. 

“So you’re a vampire too?” Sniffling and clearing his throat he shakes his head.

“No I’m only half, David gave me till the end of month to… Till I have to be fully embraced.”

“Embraced?” 

“The term certain vampires use to describe the ‘turning’ of a human into a vampire” 

“Oh, how-”

“Look y/n you have to stop seeing us, please for your own safety.”

“I’m not leaving you Michael. Not now, not ever, we’ll figure something out okay?”

You wanted nothing more than to be in Michael’s arms. For him to choose you, but he had been hesitant; terrified of what David would do if he found out. One wrong move from either of you and it was over, David would frenzy and only the gods knew what kind of hell would freeze over the earth if he knew what the two of you were doing behind his back. But Michael had to make a decision soon because as he watched you sitting on David’s lap lighting a cigarette for the blonde, he knew he had to decide quickly. David’s words from the other night haunted Michael, David had revealed his intention to turn you into a monster like him; 

“Since you two will be spending a long time together.” 

Michael couldn’t stand the thought of you being like David. Any longer and he’d have to watch you drink from the bottle. No, he made up his mind. Just Imagining Marko approaching David with the bottle made him sick. Michael thought he would never feel real fear again after David had threatened to kill his family if he didn’t join the pack, but imagining the moment David tipped the bottle to your lips, he felt his heart stop. That was the morning he told you to run. The two of you had made a plan, you were going to disappear during the day when the boys couldn't get to you. Michael would go looking for you and come back empty handed. He would stall for time until he could figure out a way to escape David’s influence.

 A way for the both of you to be together.

Every moment with Michael was warm, it was the feeling of the sun kissing your skin. The feeling of the yellows and oranges when watching a sunrise. The heat that Michael made blossom in your chest was a stark contrast of the icy shivers David made roll down your back. David was cold and so was his love. David is the glass of ice water you drink down after a long run. The crisp ocean waves that soothe your sunburned skin. David is the glacier keeping you from flying into the sun.  What were you doing? Were you really going to run? To risk everything just for a chance at being with Michael?

Michael.

His name still sends shivers down your spine; winter used to be your favorite, but the thawing nature of spring started melting into your heart. No longer did you care for the cold but longed for the heat that the summer would bring. 

The motel room was dark, curtains tightly closed. 

You were safe.

Taking a deep breath to help clear your mind. The past week had been terrifying, anxiety filled your body to the point of overflow, you felt like an overcharged battery. Traveling as quiet and as fast as you could during the day, and bunkering down in dingy motels at night to lay low. The adrenaline from the ride out of town was wearing off, living on the run was getting exhausting. The anxiety was slowly fading away the further you got from Santa Carla.

You are safe.

Getting as far away from Santa Carla during the daylight was stressful, but not as near as painful as it was to say goodbye to Michael.

Michael.

Just the thought of him made your heart lurch in your chest, you couldn’t wait to see him again. As if your desperate soul summoned him; a sound from the otherside of the room startled you. Looking over you were even more shocked to see your lover standing by the door.

“Michael? What are you doing here? I thought you had to take care of things before you would join me?” He stayed quiet and it seemed as if he was struggling with something. “Michael what’s wrong?” Starting to approach you, you could start to see that something was wrong. “Michael, you're scaring me, what’s going on?”

“I told you I was a monster.” His voice came out in a growl, and just like with any predator, it set the hairs on your body rigid. Michael lunged for you; and you made an attempt to get to the door. Barely managing to slip from his claws as you run out of the motel down to the parking lot.

Fire burned in your lungs as you scrambled to escape, your body felt like molten lava as it kicked into overdrive pushing you to run faster. Tears started to blur your vision; this was not how it was supposed to go. Michael was supposed to love you, why he was doing this made your head spin. Screaming out as searing pain burned throughout your body, vision going white, there was a ringing in your ears.

No it was your voice.

Your screams echoing in your ears. Blazing blue eyes met yours and they were burning with an intensity that nearly stopped your heart.

There was blood on his face, and a sickening amount was dripping from his lips when his mouth opened and his voice grated at your eardrums.

“I’m sorry.” Hands slick with warm blood gripped at your legs dragging you closer to his figure.

“I trusted you Michael! Let me go!” You tried kicking and thrashing around but you were no match for his unnatural strength even without suffering from blood loss. There was pain radiating from your neck, a burning pain that throbbed and gushed with every pulse of your heart.

“You have to believe,” a sickening crunch filled his pause along with your wail of agony, as his hand came down and broke one of your legs. “That I don’t want to do this!” Your throat is raw from screaming and you're delirious from the pain. You make no effort to reply, only wishing the blistering pain would go away. In the midst of the burning  agony you feel ice touch your body, the cold soothing the burn in your flesh. Leaning further into the comforting cold you chase the sensation of numbness that the cold brings. As you come down from the pain, exhaustion weighs you down. Drifting off you hear Michael’s sobbing apologies get drowned out by the cold whispers of David, his soft shushing and ice blue eyes sending you to dreamland, where you hoped you’d dream of a blizzard.

Tagging @britany1997​ also if you want to be tagged just let me know. 

#The Lost Boys 1987 #the lost boys #david tlb #david tlb x reader #the lost boys david #the lost boys david x reader #the lost boys michael #the lost boys michael x reader #tlb michael #tlb michael x reader #the lost boys x reader #sgog writes

[mostlikelythedevil]

Haunted. | [Chapter Three]

Pairing(s): Kevin Owens x Fem!Zayn!Reader, Solo Sikoa x Fem!Zayn!Reader

Warning(s): Explicit Language, Angst

Word Count: 1,482

Chapter Summary: The Bloodline saw a small piece of The Reader’s spat with Kevin, and she’s not quite in the right state of mind to be calm about that.

Link(s): AO3, Masterlist

Note(s): This, for one reason or another, was an extremely hard chapter for me to write, so I apologize for the short content. I rewrote this three times in varying levels of aggression, but I am ultimately content with how this turned out (which is funny because it is the complete opposite of my outline). I hope you all enjoy!

Tag(s): @crowleysqueenofhell @raeluvshammett

There is no chance that Sami had nothing to do with the phone call — or, at the very least, telling Roman and his kin of your supposed feelings for their bitter enemy — so seeing the dumbstruck expression lacing his features is enough to send you into a blind, bitter rage; the added sight of Roman Reigns smirking is just fuel to your fire.

Footsteps echo through the corridor as you close in on the group of incognizant men, carrying with them the sound of your misery and ire. Laughter and smirks fade from otherwise contented expressions as you come more into view; the sight of viscous clumps of foundation and eyeliner melded to your cheeks, of strands of ginger hair clinging wildly to the wet streaks accompanying the ruined make-up, of the swollen red encompassing your eyes to the point of near blindness, the sight of your absolute ruin was enough to hush The Bloodline — even the amusement on Roman faded.

Though difficult to see the small details, you can see that Roman is much more intense at the sight of your disarray. His lips, first curled up at the idea that you would approach them — rather, him —  with such aggression, were now a thin line on his strong, stoic canvas. In his eyes, though you cannot trust your own to be entirely accurate, you can see a glint of pride; there is no sense to be made as to why such an emotion would cross him at the sight of you, regardless of the situation.

“How could you do this to me?” The hoarseness of your voice causes a sting of pain in the back of your throat as you try to holler, eyes trained hard on your brother. “How could you?”

Sami, distraught at the sight of you, reaches out both hands defensively. “I don't— I don't know what's going on,” he stumbles over his words as you approach him.

As soon as you are within reach of your brother, your palm comes heavy across his cheek and without warning. Sami stumbles, tripping over his own feet, into the arms of Paul Heyman. “Is this what you wanted? Is this what you wanted, Sami?” Fresh tears bubble in your eyes as your brother smooths a hand across his stinging, reddened cheek in absolute shock.

“Damn,” one of the twins half-shouts.

Eyes wide, hand soothing his stinging cheek, Sami cannot find the words to respond. You have never — never — struck him before; not when he had thrown your favorite plush down into the depths of a lake in the middle of a mild, yet still freezing, Canadian winter as a child; not when he told you that you looked like a fool during your first match as a teenager; not when he accidentally ruined one of your keepsakes by sitting on it. How could you strike your own brother, now, without telling him why? How could you strike him as if he were nothing — as if he were not your beloved brother?

“Answer me, damn it! Tell me this is what you wanted.” You reach out to push Sami as you speak, though he hardly moves. “Tell me this is what you wanted, you fucking coward!”

“Please stop,” is all Sami can manage — a feeble, sad whisper.

A strong, thick arm wraps around your waist as you push Sami once more, pulling you firmly back and away from your brother. “Let me go,” you half-sob, half-scream as you kick the air with enough force to hurt your knees.

With little resistance, the person holding you slips around to your front before releasing the hold on your waist. In front of you, through your blurred vision, is Solo Sikoa. His hands are wrapped across his chest, showcasing the muscles of his arms; it’s no wonder that you found it impossible to break free from his hold.

“I can see that you’ve had a long night already,” the voice of Roman Reigns breaks your attention away from Solo, who you heavily considered slapping for touching you — truthfully, you should be thankful Roman stopped you from doing something so terribly unhinged. “But I need you to calm down and use your words, sweetheart.”

The tears dry at the sight of Roman standing just behind Solo — at the sound of his voice commanding you to be calm. Your chest heaves, heavy with the burden of controlling your erratic breathing, and you can feel your body shaking with adrenaline that you were previously unaware of. Despite the immense amount of anger and heartbreak and humiliation, there’s truth in that you need to calm yourself. Hearing it from Roman, though, is the least calming thing that could have happened.

“Go to hell,” you spit, lunging at Roman. Solo throws his arm out, almost lazily, keeping you trapped behind him; even then, you push your body against his arm, straining to look Roman in the eye.

Roman, feeling generous, ignores your outburst. “I’m going to assume that this is about your little spat with Kevin, right?” His tone is little more than mocking. “Sami had nothing to do with that.”

You continue to push against Solo, fighting against his arm as you stare at Roman over his shoulder. “Fucking liar,” you growl, eyes leaving Roman in search of Sami.

In the background, largely shielded from your view, the twins are working to calm Sami down from your aggression. Now that you’re paying attention, you can hear sniffling and the quiet, patience voices of the twins as they shield your brother from you. He cannot comprehend your anger with him. It hurts. God, it hurts, and that’s all that he can think.

“You weren’t opening your eyes to Sami’s gentle warnings,” Roman continues as if he did not hear your brash words, “and as Sami’s sister, and therefore an extension of The Bloodline, I could no longer stand by idly and allow Kevin to manipulate you against your brother.”

“You had no fucking right,” you strain to holler again, eyes returning to Roman. “I’m not an extension of your group of viscous, self-centered, good-for-nothing pricks. I never fucking will be.”

You do not notice the footsteps behind you. “E— Excuse me,” the meek voice of a crew member interjects before you can continue to berate Roman, “Miss Zayn, you’re needed in the guerrilla position for your match in— five minutes.”

Fuck — the match. You forgot about the match. God, you’re a mess. How are you supposed to go out in front of all of those people for such an important match looking like this? You’re not even in the mental state to do it anymore. Fuck.

“I’ve forgiven you for your words against me tonight — your blatant disrespect — because I understand the grief that you’re in. As your Tribal Chief, it falls to me to make the difficult decisions, and as someone who has not yet been predisposed to the expectations of being a member of The Bloodline, you are forgiven this once.” Roman speaks with such authority, staring you down as if you are prey in the arms of his cousin.

The crew member runs off as soon as he is acknowledged with a nod from Roman.

“I’m not in The Bloodline, you stupid fuck. I want nothing to do with you,” your voice has lost the resolve it had, thoughts too consumed with the idea of your contendership match being so soon among all of the drama.

Roman huffs out a laugh. “You’re welcome to come to our locker room after your match to talk like the grown-up that you’re supposed to be,” the smile that crosses his lips lacks all warmth. “Otherwise, stay out of our way until you can find it in yourself to thank me for saving you from yourself — because we both know that you know Kevin never cared about you, you just don’t know what to do with yourself for being so goddamn wrong about him while your brother screamed and pleaded and begged for you to come to your senses.”

“I—,” the words catch in your throat.

“Good luck on your match, Little Zayn. Remember what I said: you get one pass, and that’s tonight,” Roman turns away from you, collects the twins and Sami and Paul, and heads in the direction of The Bloodline’s locker room.

Solo looks over his shoulder, only stepping away from you when the rest of The Bloodline are secure behind the doors of their locker room — which happens to be just down the corridor from your own. He turns back to you, scrutinizing you under his stone expression, before turning completely to join the rest of The Bloodline in their shared locker room.

In the distance, you can hear Liv Morgan’s music drowning out the cheering of the crowd.

#WWE #WWE Imagine #Roman Reigns #Jimmy Uso #Jey Uso #The Usos #Solo Sikoa #Solo Sikoa Imagine #Solo Sikoa x Reader #Sami Zayn #Kevin Owens #Kevin Owens Imagine #Kevin Owens x Reader #Also on AO3 #Haunted: Chapter Three #Haunted: Chapter 3

[thefallenangelsgang]

FALLOUT 4 HEADCANON MASTERPOST

two and a half years ago (👀) I posted a list of headcanons right around when I started playing around with the ideas in my fallout WIP

I've decided they ( 1 + 2 ) need to be updated and added to especially after Death Shroud gave me so many great ideas/things I want to steal. Added break to save you dash my loves <3

I will keep adding to this lmao

SECTIONS:

Post #1 Revisions

Post #2 Revisions

Death Shroud Stuff I'm Kidnapping

Misc Stuff From Asks, Mods, and My Brain (AKA THE LONGEST SECTION)

From #1 (Link Here)

We are keeping chair bound Murphy

I may or may not be recanting my gangly tall 'n thin Hancock HC. I oscillate wildly between wanting him to be Eldritch God™ tall and "gimme uppies! :3" short. He may end up being both. His height will be whatever is funniest for the bit.

oh yeah Sarah Lyons got merc-ed B)

We are still kicking with Kellogg in Nicky's skull but with the added angsty-ness brought in by Death Shroud. Oh the plot! Oh how it hurts so good! Kellogg wanting to find someway to punish the SoleSu(s) and Nick for picking through his memories? Ugh! Give me it all.

We are cutting Billy and the Fridge. I don't want to deal with the nightmare plot holes it will bring up and Quincy will already have enough BS. Plus the more I think about it the less I like the whole quest and its placement. Fuck! Maybe he'll be referenced in Publick Occurrences? I don't care! We're loosey goosey bay-be!

- 10. can stay. I have no issues with them and nothing funny to add

From #2 (Link Here)

Now I can bring up my beloved Vault-Tec Rep. Him in the Death Shroud? Perfect. Beautiful. Stunning. I no longer have to call him Paul Eiding as a very direct nod to his VO. Our Beloved David Dwecker is married to Sheffield and they have a house in Sanctuary filled with Nuka-Cola memorabilia (for Sheffield) and collectable plates (the kind grandmothers display for our lovely Rep). They have a little sitting area set up in the carport where they hangout, smoke, and dance together to Diamond City Radio. I need this for my mental health okay?

Shaun being Autistic is something I really want to explore. I truly forget who I first saw say this but it is not an original idea by any means. I also think the poor thing would have some level of trauma from everything so exploring that is gonna be fun! (no it will not oh my god I'm going to dredge up all my childhood issues.)

OHHHH CHRISTMAS. YULETIDE. FEAST OF ST. NICHOLAS. I find the "Seth Patrick" bit SO funny in Death Shroud so that is staying but also I feel like the feast of St. Nicholas got jokingly flipped into a celebration of Nick Valentine (Same with Valentine's Day) and people are beginning to forget the correct version. Nick tolerates it with an eye roll and a wry joke about people needing to read their history books but secretly finds the whole thing funny. Ellie has a santa suit for Nick to don during "his" holiday. Also the school children in Diamond City send Nick "Valentines" on valentines day and he displays them on his corkboard.

Music. My god the Johnny Guitar bit had me by the throat during Death Shroud. Expand those music libraries! Before you know it I'm gonna give Travis a rolling ladder attached to bookcases upon bookcases of records and holotapes. I want to hear people complain about how many Andrews Sisters records survived and God why won't Travis stop playing them!

The Flavor of Goodneighbor needs to be so complex. Like a good pasta sauce. I better be so overcome by the layers and smells and textures. Better Goodneighbor and Better Third Rail are really good starts but I'm expanding the shit out of both of them I think. I want to feel like Goodneighbor truly is dangerous to be in. Being able to cross most of the town in one sprint burst isn't cutting it Bethany Esda! Make it truly baffling how Hancock knows so much about the happenings in his town.

- 8. are about the BoS and I stand by them. You will get to meet my Lone Wanderer and learn about the hierarchies a little better. I redesigned the Orders and added one I think? I have to re-sort those notes lmao. Also the piloting thing is like MAJORLY important to me because the frequency of vertibird crashes in game pissed me off to no end.

From Death Shroud (@chadfallout76podcast THANK YOU)

Danse is just... Like That now. I can't wait to explore his character before and after Blind Betrayal especially because he will not be leaving the Brotherhood and he will still be Like That. [spoiler warning ;) for my story lol] I can't wait for the beautiful moments that will be born of it.

I actually kind of love some of the plot points in Death Shroud like the Mob Family wars? Staying 100%. Same with Ma and Boss Lombardo and some of the other families.

As is Charlie but I refuse to let him die. I got very attached to Charlie and his death was so perfect but this time he gets to stay alive dammit.

Magnolia sending Magnolia flowers with her letters? Genius

Vault-Tec Rep (David my beloved) being the saddest, wettest cat of a man imaginable when he's in Goodneighbor? Also fucking genius.

"Fish-lips" Malone being part of the same family as Skinny has me so excited for more mob family bullshit.

Ruffino's and the Black Rose is being transplanted somewhere and maybe might be near the Combat Zone. New den of sin anyone?

Obviously I'm not going to attempt to pull apart the fabric of reality in-canon but my god Death Shroud was fun <3

Some new Misc HCs

Diamond City is bigger and more populated, kind of in the same vein as the Goodneighbor HC. I haven't found a mod layout I like so I might end up redesigning it (Please kill me)

This is an old one from an ask! Hancock will help work the bar at the Third Rail occasionally. He's a notorious show off and his cocktails are mainly just straight liquor but he entertains the hell out of people when he dives over the bar to take orders and bother Whitechapel Charlie. There are major losses on nights he bartends due to the fact he forgets (sometimes purposefully) to take payment. Regulars know to put the cash in the tip jar so Whitechapel can collect it at the end of the night.

Another thing I'm keeping from an ancient ask, Danse wants kids. Badly. And the crushing blow of being sterile really fucks with him for a while. but he eventually comes to terms with it. He's also still touchy (as in he's always touching his partner) per that ask because I think that's cute.

I'm just going through old asks now lmao. Nick and Ellie dance together like the true father-daughter pair they are

I forgot who drew this but I once saw someone pair Sturges and Ellie together and that is the cutest damn thing so it stays.

MacReady got the Lone Wanderer's Grognak magazine as a gift for letting them into Little Lamplight and it's one of his prized possessions.

Macready and the Lone Wanderer's reunion is very cute my dudes.

More general slice of life stuff like fishing on the mainland and boats, more things to do in general, transportation, cool amputees, and other shit listed in this post I reblogged YEARS ago

OH Travis and Scarlett get married <3

Danny Sullivan skips town after taking the fun way down from the mayor's office and travels with some cross country caravans before coming back to work in Diamond City. YES HE LIVES!

Holy fuck i forgot I had this mod but the Institute projects the sky up on their ugly concrete dome because this mod fucks hard

Just the general vibe of raiders employing children and stringing more dead mutilated bodies about. There are mods for that and let me tell you they make the raider camps horrifying. No I will not be linking them. But they are available on Nexus should you want them.

Okay I'm changing the layout of everything apparently: Including but not limited to the Railroad HQ, The Prydwen, Vault 111, etc. Fuck game design I guess lmao. I like XFreakish's Railroad Redone and NordKitten's A Sensible Prydwen Overhaul for in game and basically plan to build off of them.

The asks: Hancock bartending, Danse wanting kids and being into physical affection, Nick and Ellie Dancing + MacReady and the LW's Grognak (same ask)

#fallout 4 #fo4 #fo4 headcanons #headcanons #fo4 headcanon #death shroud #nick valentine #john hancock #paladin danse #fo4 companions #rj maccready #sole survivor #Jericho Writes

[unganseylike]

 Hi y’all! As promised, here’s my 2023 reading wrap-up – my reviews and thoughts about some of the books I read this year :) As a heads up, some of these reviews may contain very very vague and mild spoilers just because I personally feel like it’s impossible to give a good sense of my thoughts on media without that; so I’ll list the books I’m going to include in the order mentioned above the cut in case you want to 100% avoid any potential spoilers. Another disclaimer- these reviews are each quite different in content; my goal was to give a synopsis (except for a few I didn’t feel were worth my time), give my thoughts and mostly-non-spoilery takeaways, and connect to an overarching theme of this post. My initial goal was to write like 2 sentences for each book, but that definitely is not what happened. This is a long post. A long post where I gave into my inner booktuber and wrote like I was doing a video. I enjoyed writing this, but. It’s a lot. You might not enjoy reading it.

If you’ve read these books, I’d love to hear what you all thought…Since these are all books I read this year, I haven’t gotten to re-read any yet, and I’d love to have some new things to think about when I do! Please tell me if you check out these books after reading my list <3

Also…let me know if you have any books you’d recommend. I think this list might just give a sense of my picky taste. 

I’d like to give a shoutout the love of my life, Libby, for making this possible.

Books, in order of mention, with numerical ratings: 

What Moves the Dead- T. Kingfisher: 5/10

The Hollow Places- T. Kingfisher: 6.5/10

The Hacienda- Isabel Cañas: 9/10

The Honeys- Ryan La Sala: 7/10

I’m Thinking of Ending Things- Iain Reid: 7.5/10

The Ruins- Scott Smith: 3.5/10

The Cabin at the End of the World- Paul Tremblay: 4.5/10

The Beautiful Ones- Silvia Moreno-Garcia: 4/10

The Daughter of Doctor Moreau- Silvia Moreno-Garcia: 6/10

Where Ivy Dares to Grow- Marielle Thompson: 5/10

Beloved- Toni Morrison and The Turn of the Screw- Henry James (brief discussion, no ratings)

Paris Is a Party, Paris Is a Ghost- David Hoon Kim: 8.5/10

The Fragile Threads of Power- V.E. Schwab: 4/10

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue- V.E. Schwab: 4/10

When the Angels Left the Old Country- Sacha Lamb: 6.5/10

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes- Suzanne Collins: 8.5/10

Project Hail Mary- Andry Weir: no rating because didn’t finish (bad)

Station Eleven- Emily St. John Mandel: 7.5/10

Severance- Ling Ma: 9/10

Annihilation- Jeff VanderMeer: 9.5/10

The Archive of Alternate Endings: Lindsey Drager: 8/10

Ok, let’s kick this off with my first category: horror and/or I read this because I thought it was horror but it wasn’t. Over the last two years or so, I’ve gotten into reading horror–ish books, because I like the genre expectations, and it freaks me out less to read it than watch it.

Over the summer, I decided to check out T. Kingfisher. I’d heard good stuff about her as a horror author. I first read What Moves the Dead. This is an adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe’s short story “The Fall of the House of Usher.” Both this book and the new Netflix show are pretty different from the original and each other, but of the two adaptations, What Moves the Dead is probably closer in tone and setting (19th century countryside, gothic elements), but that’s mainly because the Netflix show has barely anything to do with the original (thanks Mike Flanagan!). Like the original, the plot kicks off with the narrator receiving a letter from the Ushers asking for help, leading them to travel to a crumbling manor. On the other hand, Kingfisher’s book does casually take place in what must be an alternate reality; it’s set in the fictional country Ruritania, and the narrator, Alex, is from another fictional country Gallicia. This world building mainly functions to normalize nonbinary identity and unique sets of pronouns. This does play into the plot, but I feel like it wasn’t necessary to create a fictional culture just for this, or otherwise it should’ve played more of a role in the story…like the narrator could’ve just said ka uses neopronouns and it would’ve been more straightforward than creating whole new countries. This worldbuilding aspect was probably my biggest issue with the book (though of course I love cool linguistic discussions about pronouns and gender!), maybe along with the random cameos by Eugenia Potter (as in, relative of thee Beatrix Potter, of Peter Rabbit fame). There are some great creepy bits with fungus, rot, rabbits, and corpses. There are some similarities to the fungal horror in Mexican Gothic (which T. Kingfisher actually discusses in the appendix), but it’s not quite the same – either way, we love the crossover between fungus and gothic lit! Overall, certainly a far better adaptation of Poe’s story than Mike Flanagan’s, but some of the original content seemed out of place, while other original aspects needed more fleshing out. 5/10. 

I decided to try another book by T. Kingfisher, The Hollow Places, which I had heard really good things about! This one’s an adaptation of the novella “The Willows” by Algernon Blackwood, which features some sinister willows and cosmic horror (fun fact: I read the novella because Algernon Blackwood is where Martin Blackwood of TMA gets his last name) (fun fact 2: read “The Willows” it fucks. it’s free on project gutenberg). Unlike What Moves the Dead, Hollow Places takes place very much in the present, following a recently divorced woman who moves into her uncle’s museum of oddities. She and her GBF (okay, actually, he’s the eccentric middle aged neighbor who is a barista at the cafe the narrator goes to get wifi, but he does feel a bit gay best friend cliche to me) slip through a hole in reality to an in-between dimension full of willow-y islands…and hungry eldritch beings beyond their perception. Please appreciate that full sentence. I really liked the times while the duo was in this other place, but some of the moments in their own dimension felt a bit discordant; I honestly think it’s because their present was so modern. Like it felt weird to read them discussing memes after exploring a deadly pocket world. But maybe that’s the point of setting horror/fantasy in the modern world instead of a vague past. Despite this complaint, I actually think this a better adaptation in comparison to What Wakes the Dead, with original content nicely expanding on aspects of the novella. I did kinda hate the climax, but I’ll ignore that and rate this 6.5/10. When you fear getting torn apart by terrifying otherworldly beings, it really does put your ex-husband’s annoying texts into perspective. 

Before I get back to mid books, let’s talk about one I really liked: The Hacienda from Isabel Cañas. I actually wrote a few notes about this right when I read it because I knew I wanted to share something about it eventually. Those notes were: “cinematic, especially in flashbacks, not so typical final girl or just female protag period.” Which was not that helpful for writing this review because I don’t remember wtf I was talking about, but I’ll try to interpret past-Julia for you all. The book takes place after the Mexican War for Independence, during which the father of the main character, Beatriz, was executed. So, with her and her mother dependent on the goodwill of their cruel estranged family, Beatriz happily accepts a proposal from a hacienda owner and is ready to prove herself a capable homemaker. But, there’s something deeply wrong with the house, something that wants Beatriz dead. The only one that believes her is the priest Andrés, who has recently returned to the area, where his beloved grandmother had taught him witchcraft and had been a pillar of the community. He struggles to keep his witchcraft secret, while protecting Beatriz and trying to take on his grandmother’s mantle. I think I enjoyed nearly every moment of this book! I got a little stuck on the beginning, but once I got through the first few chapters, I was so invested in the story and was really following the ups and downs as Beatriz tries to solve the mystery and escape some evil shit. I loved the main characters, especially the women and Beatriz’s role as a gothic/horror heroine (hence the “not so typical final girl” note?), and I remember being surprised by the actions of characters I thought I was rooting for! Also, it must be said. Hot. Priest. I’m not generally a big fan of romances, but it worked for me lol. And, as I said in my notes, some scenes were so cinematic- I could picture exactly how they’d play out in a (good) movie. 9/10! I need to reread this, it was one of my favorite books I read this year! 

Around the same time, I read The Honeys by Ryan La Sala, and also had written down some terrible notes (adding some punctuation to make it semi-readable): “the horror of hypermasculinity, hyperfemininity, and the gender binary, bees, mean girl cliques, superorganisms like bees and aspen and rot. Actually very similar to midsommar in terms of grieving protag and sunlight horror and uhhhh joining a cult. Also I learned the term social horror.” I think that says it all…but I’ll give a more clear summary. When Mars’ twin sister dies terribly, he decides to attend her preppy summer camp in her place to reconnect with her memory and learn about her strange violent death. Mars is genderfluid and has always struggled in his political and public-facing family, thus resulting in his parents placing their hopes and confidence in his sister. But at Aspen Conservatory, Mars finds himself drawn away from the traditional gender roles of the camp and toward his sister’s elite and insular female friend group, the Honeys. They seem to accept Mars as one of their own, but what exactly does that mean? Overall, I really enjoyed the book, especially for all the creepy stuff that happens by daylight. It’s a great example of social horror; the gender binary sure is sinister in this book! I had a few complaints though. I thought Mars was a fun protagonist, but I didn’t always understand his motivations and occasionally he felt a bit annoying to me…but he is a teenager who has just witnessed his sister’s horrific death, so perhaps that behavior was intentional. I wasn’t a fan of the mystery reveal/conclusion, it felt a bit out-of-left-field to me, but maybe I just missed something. Also, it was a little too YA for me at this point in my life (though I wouldn’t actually classify it as strictly YA, if that makes sense), but I’m picky about genre, as you will see in these reviews. 7/10– after writing this review, I’m definitely considering rereading so I can see if I pick up on more foreshadowing!

I had a note saved for my next book I’m Thinking of Ending Things (Iain Reid), but it’s a spoiler for the entire thing so I won’t share. All I’ll say is, it was a joke about final girls…you’ll get it if you read it. I read this after trying to watch the movie on Netflix and giving up because it was boring in a discomfiting way (the stilted conversation and repetition was all intentional but it was getting to me), but I still wanted to know what happened and figured the things that bothered me in a film media wouldn’t be problematic in a book. I honestly don’t know how to describe this because it’s super surrealist and very easy to spoil with any of my personal takeaways. Most basic summary of all time: a woman questioning her relationship with her new boyfriend decides to go on a road trip to meet his parents. I actually recommend watching the movie trailer to see whether you’d like the book, because it gives a good sense of the inexplicable weird and tense vibe and atmospheric horror. 7.5/10 because reading this made me feel itchy. It was supposed to make me uneasy, and it sure did the job.

Ok, next are two books I don’t feel like describing in depth because they were mid/bleh. The first is The Ruins, by Scott Smith. I just learned they made a movie of this? I was thinking that it would actually work better as a movie than a book, but apparently it did terribly in theaters. Quick summary- four young American tourists in Mexico explore Mayan ruins in search of a fellow traveler, but become trapped on a hill covered with man-eating vines. The official summary mentions “a creeping horror” and “the terrifying presence that lurks there,” so I want to explicitly say that the big bad is man-eating vines because I was expecting something a bit deeper based on the blurb. I’d classify this as survivalist/nature/psychological horror and want to note it’s pretty gory. I’d give 3.5/10. It’s fine, but not what I look for out of the horror genre. 

The second book is The Cabin at the End of the World (Paul Tremblay). I saw really good reviews for this (btw there’s also a movie, which I haven’t watched but apparently is very different), but it also wasn’t all that interesting to me. I honestly don’t remember the plot very well/don’t feel like I have anything to write about it, so you might be better off looking it up, sorry. I’d give 4.5/10 though. 

Next, we have a few books that fit under the “I read these thinking they’d be horror” umbrella. This is my own fault for assuming Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s other books would be similar to Mexican Gothic. I would say I mainly didn’t like these books because I thought they were going to be a different genre, so take my word with a grain of salt. I read Moreno-Garcia’s The Beautiful Ones and The Daughter of Doctor Moreau over the summer. The Beautiful Ones is what I learned is called a “novel of manners,” where the quirky main character must navigate elite society to search for a suitor. The twist is that this takes place in a historical fantasy universe– the main character and her love interest have telepathic powers. I wish that the fantasy elements were more smoothly incorporated; I think this book could’ve been much better as magical realism. Even if the author didn’t want magic to be the main focus but for it to still be included in the story, magical realism would make that possible! I’d give 4/10, but that’s partially because I’m not really interested in the genre; if you like romance or YA fantasy with a twist, this might be fun, but I unfortunately do not! 

I somehow made the same mistake with The Daughter of Doctor Moreau. Okay, actually this one might’ve been a result of requesting it on Libby months before, then forgetting what it was by the time I got the book. This one I liked a bit better because the story had more interesting political meaning and is sci-fi/historical fiction, but it still wasn’t 100% for me. It’s inspired by H.G. Wells’ The Island of Doctor Moreau, which I haven’t read, so I can’t comment on this as an adaptation. It takes place at a hacienda in 19th century Yucatan, Mexico, where Dr. Moreau experiments making human/animal hybrids and cares for his sickly daughter, Carlota; beyond their estate, a Mayan rebellion is mounting. The plot kicks off as the Moreau’s resources dwindle, and they hope to resolve their financial troubles with a union between Carlota and their patron’s son…but, of course, things are not what they seem at the hacienda. I enjoyed reading the book, mainly for the commentary on connections between colonialism and patriarchy, and was definitely invested in the story, but I think it just wasn't my taste– all in all, though, 6/10.

One more book in this category, but this one’s not actually my fault. This one actually mentions Mexican Gothic in the description just to fuck with me I guess. Where the Ivy Dares to Grow (Marielle Thompson) does indeed intentionally use gothic tropes and subverts them, which I guess is cool, if you don’t carry a sense of betrayal about getting gothic lit baited :/ Saoirse travels with her fiance to his family’s ancestral manor as his mother reaches the end of her life, but his parents have nothing but contempt for Saoirse. Plus, the passion has long since cooled between her and her fiance, especially as he has grown exasperated with her mental illness that causes her to disconnect from reality. Though the manor seems unwelcoming at first, she eventually grows attuned to its idiosyncrasies, and begins to slip back in time to meet her fiance’s charming ancestor. While I found a lot of this book frustrating (not just because of the genre betrayal…), I did like the incorporation of a protagonist with a dissociative disorder (specifically, Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder) into a fantasy genre. I think many times with fantasy, characters will question their sanity, only to be reassured with the realization of the truth of their magical reality. Here, the fantasy setting doesn’t negate Saoirse's struggle with mental illness, or vice versa. I think the conclusion was well done in this vein, and it increased my perception of the whole book. Despite my bitterness. 5/10. 

Before we leave the horror genre, I want to mention 3 books I read during my ghost fixation this spring, which don’t 100% fit as horror, but y'know, ghosts. I read Beloved (Toni Morrison) for the first time ever! There’s a million things online/in literature about Beloved, it’s a classic, nothing unique I can say, other than it’s so so incredible and who am I to give it a rating. My class read The Turn of the Screw (Henry James), which is the 1898 novella that “Haunting of Bly Manor” is based on (once again, Mike Flanagan is out here making wild adaptations…). We discussed it through a queer theory lens, and I recommend reading it with attention to sexuality and innocence, and how interrogating these things can be deeply violating. 

I read an excerpt of David Hoon Kim’s Paris Is a Party, Paris Is a Ghost for that same class, and I liked it so much that I read the whole book. Fun fact- half of the title alludes to the poem “Ghost Q&A” by Anne Carson, which I actually used in a web weaving post (here’s the relevant line: “A: have you been to Paris; Q: no; A: Paris is a ghost; Q: no it’s not”).  It plays with nonlinear time, since ghosts classically disrupt the progression of time and the definition of a “present;” us trc folks are quite familiar with that… The book follows (in the most ghostly use of the word) Henrik, a Japanese adoptee raised by Danish parents, an expat living in Paris. To top off the layers of identity and belonging, Henrik begins working for a blind physicist (i.e., someone who can’t see and question his ethnic background) as a translator between English and French, neither of which is his first language. The book is divided into three parts across Henrik’s life; the first centers around the implications of his girlfriend’s hikikomori. The third part focuses on Henrik later in adulthood, which I personally found less engaging than the other two (which I REALLY liked), but that may just be me and my interests as a young person, and that was my only issue with the book. I’d say this book is for fans of nonlinear storytelling, ghosts (of course), interrogation of identity, language and the art of translation, ambiguity, and weird shit. 8.5/10. Also I have a pdf of the first chapter (from when I read it for class), so DM me if you want to read a sample. 

Finally, we are done with horror (or are we? More on that later).

Next is a category I call “YA/YA adjacent/adult fantasy/gave me YA vibes sorry I know this is a controversial classification but that’s how I think of it.” 

I’ve already made two petty posts about the two V.E. Schwab books I read this year , The Fragile Threads of Power and The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue (here’s one post, can’t find the other now). They were…fine. First, Fragile Threads– it’s a spinoff series (?) from A Darker Shade of Magic, which I read a while ago and liked but forgot the details, so I think I’m a pretty good objective reviewer here. This new book takes place seven years after the original series and follows the original main characters and a few new ones. I think it was a good choice to have this fairly hefty time skip. The original characters are now in their late 20s/early 30s, which is unusual in the genre (or often post-time skip, the characters’ issues will be suddenly all solved and they’re all comfortably settled into adult life and domesticity). On the other hand, the new main characters are both tween girls, which felt like a strange choice and made everything feel kinda disconnected. I would’ve liked to spend more time with the new characters; the older set had pretty disproportionate screen time (perhaps Schwab felt readers who are big fans of ADSOM would be unhappy otherwise?). The major plot beats felt really rushed and unearned (especially the resolution of one of the major conflicts offscreen…if you’ve read it you know what I mean). When the next books in this new series come out, I’ll check them out, but I’m not that invested. 4/10. Regarding Addie LaRue, yea it was mid and I don’t feel like delving into it. readwithcindy has a video about the whiteness of the book  and books like it, which is worth checking out. Also 4/10. I still don’t believe that every person in the world would feel compelled to COMMENT ON ADDIE’S FUCKING FRECKLES WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT HAVING SEVEN FRECKLES I DON’T GET IT??????? Anyway. 

As per many tumblr recommendations, I read When the Angels Left the Old Country (Sacha Lamb). It’s a queer Jewish immigrant story that follows an angel and demon who are chavrusas (Talmudic study partners); they leave their shtetl for America to find and help a girl from their village. Along the way and through their time in America, they explore things like free will, gender, names and identity, labor justice, and fucking up rich people. I felt like this was a good historical fantasy, and I’m always up for Jewish fantasy! I’m not super into the angel and/or demon thing I know tumblr people like, so fans of those tumblr posts that are like “an angel is actually high tension wires” would probably like this. 6.5/10 - not 100% my taste, but definitely a fun read and I can’t believe this is the only really Jewish book I read this year. Someone tell me about more Jewish books please. 

There’s a couple other books I read in this category, but I don’t feel strongly about commenting on them (and we definitely don’t need to discuss the fact I read two game of thrones books in like a week for no reason), so let’s move on to my next set, sci-fi/apocalypse-y/dystopia. 

I read A Ballad of Snakes and Songbirds early this year. Obviously lots of people have been discussing it recently because of the movie, so all I’ll say is that I was pleasantly surprised. I was nervous it might be another pointless spinoff about a villain’s backstory (and trying to justify their actions), but this is definitely not that. This book had shit to say, and it was really well done. 8.5/10. 

I want to start the rest of this category with a book I didn’t like before getting into books in this genre that I felt worked so much better, at least for me. My brother sent me a paragraph-long text with a glowing review of Project Hail Mary (Andy Weir). He’s not a big texter, so I figured I had to check it out- I joined the long long waiting list for the book. And, I couldn’t get through it. I really tried, but everything about it annoyed me so much, despite the fact I had liked The Martian which is a fairly similar style. First, the narrator exemplifies the worst of scientist characters; while reading this book, I posted several times to complain about this problem. If you haven’t seen my many personal posts about my life, I currently work in a microbiology lab and ultimately want to become a research scientist. I regularly interact with truly incredible scientists, people I aspire to be like one day. But if I asked my supervisor to calculate a star’s orbit in her head, I think she might slap me. I really don’t think you can write a realistic scientist who is an expert in every subject, and the weirdly humble and immature attitude of the book’s narrator pissed me off more because of this. The fact he claims to be a microbiologist but seems to do everything but microbiology is beyond the point…It would be much more interesting to me to have the narrator find himself so out of his depth in a time of crisis and/or when alone in space. Of course, this would require some more creativity to move the plot forward, but that could be really cool! My other major reason for not finishing was the actual apocalyptic conflict. This was more a personal thing for me than a book problem; the conflict is a bit convoluted, but not bad in itself. Honestly, reading about an all-consuming response to a planetary crisis was just overwhelming and some aspects of their stopgap solutions made me physically nauseous (I don’t want to give specific spoilers but uh. I think the idea of what happens with the Sahara and Antarctica were what actually made me finally stop reading). On the other hand, it made me so sad to think about a reality where such a crisis warrants the appropriate response. We have a real planetary threat on our hands, and we can’t even mobilize the bare minimum measures because of the same capitalist and exploitative motivations that have driven climate change this whole time. This second unrealistic aspect gave me a good dose of climate doom. I can’t rate the book because I didn’t finish, but I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts on this one, since I don’t understand why it has been so praised. 

I do think it’s possible to more realistically handle the idea of proportionate crisis response and normalcy/lack thereof in an apocalypse situation. We have all been living through a pandemic and have all personally experienced how quickly the definition of “life as normal” can change, as well as seen our world’s failure to raise a just and appropriate response when profit is in the picture. I’ve felt pretty sensitive to how fiction handles these topics, and I have a few broad  categories for pandemic media: pre-COVID and eerily accurate or pre-COVID and absolutely inaccurate; post-COVID and insensitive (it gives the audience a little elbow, like “hey we all remember THAT right, look, it’s been incorporated into this story lol!”) or post-COVID and tastefully incorporates some interesting insight or post-COVID and ignores the whole thing (though it’s a different question whether you can create something fully new without incorporating lived experience even subconsciously) (as another note, I want to add that before 2020, I was really into the science history of pandemics, but haven’t done much reading on that front since) (also, when I say post-COVID, I mean post-outbreak. COVID rates are soaring right now, let’s stop ignoring this. While we’re in a parenthetical, please get the new vaccine if it is accessible to you). 

Both Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel) and Severance (Ling Ma) were indeed published prior to 2019, and so they fit into category #1. Reading them this year actually felt really valuable and almost cathartic, rather than anxiety-inducing. Station Eleven loosely follows several people who are connected by their involvement in a production of King Lear immediately before the outbreak of a deadly flu. The fairly extensive glimpses into their lives prior to and after the outbreak round out really nicely. I like that we see such a range of ages of characters. One of the main characters was a young child when the flu started, and most of her screen time takes place twenty years after; only a small fraction of her life took place in what the older characters view as “normal” times. So what does that mean for people like her (or those born after the outbreak)? Should she be mourning something she experienced for just a few years? Her whole life has taken place during a period of apparent transition, but what is the world transitioning to? When does a transition end? After twenty years, there’s a sense of peace and predictivity to her reality- isn’t that a sort of normalcy? I also really liked the way all the characters were loosely connected to one another; there are lots of books with such setups, but I like that this connection doesn’t entail some great mystery or a climactic meet-up. Connection is just how the world works. 7.5/10; it left me with things to think about, but it was a bit of a slow read for me at some points.

While I read Station Eleven because I saw my lovely mutual posting about it, I read Severance because my coworker posted about it…but what are mutuals if not coworkers. It is similarly made up of pre- and post- outbreak scenes, but it follows only one character, Candace Chen (interesting quote from a New Yorker article about this choice: “...Ma flouts a trope of dystopian fiction, a genre that, with its fixation on the fate of civilization, has a tendency to produce protagonists meant to stand in for society at large. Rather than an Average Joe, Ma gives us a Specific Chen, conjuring an experience of the apocalypse through the lens of someone whose variegated identity is not an exotic distraction but part of the novel’s architecture”). These scenes of the past are less strictly cohesive flashbacks, and more snippets of Candace’s dispassionate existence. When the epidemic breaks out, she keeps working her corporate job in bible manufacturing in New York City, even as her superiors and coworkers leave or fall ill, even as the city’s infrastructure crumbles and she moves into her office, until she eventually is rescued by a band of survivors. Candace is a cog in a machine, otherwise adrift and lonely in late-stage capitalism. The Shen Fever isn’t a disease where the victims fall ill and die, leaving the sight of the narrative; the fevered linger, acting out loops of their daily/familiar routines until they finally wear themselves ragged and die. So, there definitely is more cutting, explicit criticism of consumerism and capitalist society in Severance than Station Eleven. It’s also more psychological (and ambiguous). While Station Eleven gave me a sense of peace and calm occasionally, I never felt that here, where the non-fictional aspects of life under late-stage capitalism is inseparable from the book’s fictional dystopian elements (perhaps the difference in tone between the two books is because Station Eleven is about connection, and Severance’s narrator exemplifies the disconnection wrought by capitalism). There’s not really a sense of urgency or stress, though. In my opinion, that’s because (as many of us have experienced) when crisis is happening all the time, people become exhausted and adjust their idea of normalcy to some level of tragedy. Between the symptoms of the fever and Candace’s commitment to work a pointless job through a pandemic, this book really did eerily reflect the world’s insistence on “life as normal” during the beginning of COVID. There is so much more to talk about with Severance (I was mainly focusing on how it compares in regard to a sense of normalcy in crisis, but there’s SO much interesting stuff in it- I didn’t mention at all, for example, the role of immigration), and I highly recommend checking it out if you don’t mind an uncomfortably realistic sense of impending capitalistic doom! 9/10.

These three apocalypse books all used scenes set before, during, and after the onset of a crisis, so it’s interesting to me that they have such different relationships with normalcy. I’d be super intrigued to hear what y’all think about these books (or other similar ones) and their very different treatment of the same themes.

Sorry for the mini book report there. It’s time for me to talk about one last sci-fi book, which was actually one of my top books of the year- Annihilation (Jeff VanderMeer). I read this after I finished my last finals of my university career, and I finally had some time to myself. It was a strange and liminal sort of period for me, existing in this space for two weeks where I was just anticipating graduation and my move to a new city, a looming end to life as I had known it the last 4 years. I spent several evenings sitting on the quad, enjoying the nice May weather, and barely noticing as the sun set and it grew dark around me. I really expected nothing from Annihilation and couldn’t believe how much I loved it. For one, it gives me hope that scientist characters don’t have to be awful (unlike Project Hail Mary’s protagonist, the narrator here sticks within her field and even explicitly mentions being recently refreshed on the scientific topics relevant to the story). I don’t know what genre you would call this– it’s like 60% horror 40% sci-fi (but I couldn’t bear to add another book in the horror section, that’s why it’s in here, and also I wanted another jab at Project Hail Mary’s protagonist); it’s cosmic horror, where the incomprehensible thing is biology and the strange inhuman beauty of nature. The narrator is simply called The Biologist, a woman who is absolutely fascinated about the natural world; she’d be satisfied staring into a puddle in a parking lot for hours. I love her. She joins a mission, made up of women also referred to simply by their fields, to learn more about the mysterious environmental disaster zone called Area X. The movie’s description calls this a “mysterious zone where the laws of nature don’t apply,” but I think the Biologist would say the exact opposite. The story, told through her field journal, records the team’s investigation into Area X and the terribly strange and beautiful things she encounters there; meanwhile, she reluctantly reveals her not-so-scientifically-objective motives for signing up for this doomed expedition. You’ve probably heard of the movie and/or seen gifs of its beautiful visuals; this is one of the cases where the movie is pretty good (and Oscar Isaac is there), but it’s really a completely different piece of media than the book- I recommend reading the book as a separate entity than the movie. This one is a 9.5/10! Once I reread and better understand the conclusion, I’d probably add that 0.5 points back. Has anyone read anything similar to Annihilation they recommend? I need more of a funky scientist interacting with surreal natural horror. 

Ok, one last book that I would consider miscellaneous to my categories here, but theoretically could be scifi? 

I read The Archive of Alternate Endings (Lindsey Drager) after seeing a quote from it in a tumblr post. In fact, you might’ve seen the post I recently made with a different excerpt from it. I finished it just before the new year so that I could fit it in here and give it the honorary place of the last book :) Archive combines a lot of things I know y’all like: the circularity of time, folktales, web weaving, siblings, tragedy, nautilus shells, etc. Since we’re at the end of this post, I’ll give a better go of describing an experimental book: a natural history of storytelling, as traced through the tale of “Hansel and Gretel” and Halley’s comet. Not sure if that makes sense, but essentially, Archive reveals the human connections at each 74 year interval of the comet’s orbit, from 1378 to 2365, through revisiting the meaning of “Hansel and Gretel” to different pairs of siblings. Compared to other works that attempt to do the grand connections across time and space thing, Archive does this very well, probably because this structure is not an afterthought and it’s not a tool to build anticipation of the characters meeting- it’s the thesis statement. One thing I did have trouble with was the incorporation of real historical figures into this piece, especially considering its structure. I was able to more easily digest some of the historical liberties taken than others; I didn’t mind the historical figures and original nameless characters separately, but it was strange to see Ruth Coker Burks (though she’s not named explicitly) interact with a pair of fictional siblings. 8/10. Other than that issue, I think this book worked well and was a great last read for 2023!

I said that was the last book, right? Sorry.

I realized I’ve never posted here about one of my favorite books, and I want to use this as the chance to talk about it, if anyone’s still reading at this point. 

I read A Tale for the Time Being (Ruth Ozeki) in the spring of 2022. I learned about this book because someone had left it in a classroom I was teaching in, and I thought the title was great, so I took a picture of the cover and eventually searched for it at the library. How’s that for fate? Here’s a brief summary. A novelist with writer’s block finds a journal that has washed ashore. Alongside the novelist’s annotations, we read the words of Nao, a Japanese teenager. Nao has decided to kill herself, but first she wants to do something that’ll matter: write about the incredible life of her great-grandmother, a hundred year old Buddhist nun. Despite her best attempts to focus on her grandmother, Nao ends up using the journal as a diary, documenting the events of her own life that have led her to plan a suicide. While Nao’s life and her intentions are obviously extremely bleak, she writes with a delightfully bright and peppy voice that makes her journal both a pleasure to read and that much more devastating, as we quickly begin to care deeply for Nao. The novelist’s parts of the book are objectively weaker than Nao’s, but her role as helplessly studying the journal years in the future is definitely necessary for the book to work (plus she’s the framing device). I do want to note content warnings for Tale; suicide, of course, but also I was surprised by brutality of Nao’s bullying (I’d loosely define some of it as torture) and the escalation of events toward the end. So adding some less obvious CWs in case people wanna check it out: graphic depictions of bullying; sexual assault; racist fetishization of Japanese women; child neglect; and lots of discussion of suicide. Beyond that, I’d add that this book is just absolutely packed full of everything, which can make it seem occasionally a bit all over the place, but it’s all connected, so it’s worth it to try to follow the various threads. From reviews I see online, some people LOVE this book, others hate it, so it might be an acquired taste…but personally, I recall it as one of the best books I’ve read and am going to take this as motivation to finally reread it. 

Right, now we are done. So what are the takeaways of this ridiculously long post ? Here are few bits of wisdom I learned from my 2023 reading: You have got to read the originals that adaptations are based on because Mike Flanagan and co will fuck around with the source material, but also because knowledge of the source material can add a lot to your understanding of an adaptation you enjoy (and there’s usually a reason someone found them worthwhile of adaptation). Screwing with time can work incredibly well in any genre, but it will come off as cheap if the author doesn’t get the implications of non-linear time and just wants an excuse for excessive flashbacks. There is good pandemic fiction out there, you just have to avoid cringey COVID-derivative material. Stop making your scientist characters be experts in everything, and start making them obsessed weirdos. And take better notes than a string of adjectives if you want to write in-depth book reviews. 

Thanks for bearing with me through this post! Let me know what you think! Did you read these books? Agree with me or disagree with every word? Do you have any recommendations for me? Read something good with a ghost in it? Or do you want to share books from this year you hated? And should I channel my inner booktuber and do more posts like this?

Happy New Year!

Julia

#hi guys! i said this was long right? because its really long #i was possessed by the spirit of insanity and book blogger #this was one of the few times where me taking forever to finish something wasnt because gave up. it was because i wrote so much

[daincrediblegg]

okay your turn if nobody else has asked: TOP FIVE JH CHARACTERS GO

... girl... how does one choose? how does one??? when there are so many beautiful boys??? ok. OK I'll give it a shot.

5. Captain Crow - The Sea Beast This film is just incredible on every front. One of my favorite concept artists worked on it (which I did not know until a few weeks ago but now that I know I feel like kicking myself because I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THEIR STYLE WELL ENOUGH BY NOW). But I remember watching this, and screaming when the credits began to roll because WAIT?!?!?! THAT WAS JARED HARRIS??? OH!!! WHAT A DELIGHT!!! I LOVE THAT GUY!!!! (oh babygirl wait a few months it's gonna hit you so bad). He's great. I hope we see more of him in the sequel that would be great for me.

4. Hari Seldon Honestly. What a little shit. "But Egg," you might ask "If he's such a little shit why is he on here?" well. He's hot. Really I am not over how hot this dude is. I know I couldn't fix him not in a million years. But idk. Something about him always makes my brain go brrr. So he's on here. Also I just love how fucking atypically written this show is and I have a wee soft spot for asimov. They didn't have to cast Jared as Hari and make him unbelievably hot. But they did. And he's so enigmatic. I love that.

3. John Lennon Egg's love for Jared Harris Origins. I was a Beatles girlie, ok? I'm not ashamed to admit that. It was my introductory fandom experience at the ripe old age of baby, and I really ate it up. I remember going into this movie being like "oh it's some dumb TV movie about John and Paul how good can it be?" Very good, as it turns out. And having assigned myself a John Lennon girlie I literally could never get over this depiction. The mannerisms, the fucking tripped-out way he philosophizes in conversation, the softness, and ofc the old friends tension. Jared got it all. Of course I'd seen him in stuff here and there, but this was the one that cemented him as a beloved actor in my mind for me (I literally re-wound the kiss scene as well like 20 times don't judge me but that awakened some stuff in me). Been following him ever since.

2. Lane Pryce - Mad Men This dude broke me for real. I didn't get into Mad Men until college, and binged it all on my friend's hulu account. And lemme tell ya. Did NOT see his final episode coming. Did not. And it made me genuinely weep. He was a highlight in the show. He was one of the only guys I could actually say is a good dude in that show, and he deserved so much better than he got in the end. I look at him and I'm just like... leave ur wife. Leave your job. Lets just go out of this capitalistic hellscape. I want to make him Well. I will love him forever for how he just completely destroyed me.

1.Francis Crozier / Valery Legasov - HA! you thought I was not going to tie them? WRONG! I can't keep these bad bitches apart.

Francis really needs no explanation at this point. I am so actually genuinely in love with him I'm writing a whole ass gothic romance novel of a fic for him, as you all know (and which has summarily turned out a BANGER of a modern AU as well). I made a bloody self-insert oc for him. Gothic Cinema is literally my favorite genre and Francis is the most Gothic Hero of all time, honestly (well besides Valery obviously). The serotonin he continually gives me makes my meds redundant. He is my sweet husband who I love with my whole life and that's that.

And Valery? sorry you can't put a babygirl of a man like that in front of me and not expect that I would want to jump his bones like? Not only is the constant existential dread relatable, but as much as people tell him he's not brave, he IS without a doubt, and honestly, just by virtue of uttering the most iconic logline ever fucking created he deserves this spot on this list. Both of these dudes make my soul ascend in a certain way not just with how brilliantly they were written, but with how incredibly Jared executed them (for which I want to kill the academy for not giving him awards on either). Top Beloveds forever and ever and ever amen.

#ask games #top 5 #jared harris #ofc there's a secret sixth one that only cherry knows about but it's ok y'all don't have to know #shout out to moriarty as well he was technically my first proper JH introduction before JL but #there wasn't room I'm so sorry y'all #I love him tho a lot wait I have regrets but I'm too tired to fix and debate with myself on this list anymore

[pantheracatluv1105]

Nerdy prudes must die thoughts warning random Spoilers Read at your own risk these were just my thoughts as I watched

Opening scene makes me think tinkys gonna be the baddie this time around he's one of the most sadistic

Lots of little nods to nightmare time with the night hawks and grace chastity back again

Corey and Mariah being a father daughter duo again! slaps! Also the fact that she put her hand between her phone and a literal hammer and it seemed like something a teen would actually do ha scary how realistic that part was

Corey as Jason is fucken hilarious as the one nice himbo in the group of dumb jocks

BUTT STUFF BUTTER I MEAN BUTTER

The Cackle from the audience made my night

Dirty girl is gonna be stuck in my head for weeks but I won't be able to sing it out loud

The collective aww when poor Pete came out with that black eye so sweet starkid is really good at getting you invested in their characters

Angela as grace chastity is the best I love her she's so horrible and amazing

Did they name the Whalen house after Kim??

Kudos to the choreograper they are amazing and I love it so much just little moves that just really establish character I love the heart it brings

"Am i reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda"

oh fuck the homeless man reference definitely foreshadowing for twinky stuff being afoot maybe hopefully

Max is so dumb I love/hate him

Soo so so dumb

Boo hoo bitch haaaaaaa

Oooooh is max gonna haunt them !!!!

Kill count 💀 1

Bury the body also slaps and I also can't sing this in public without getting looks

Pete and Steph are cute together

Things are looking up but I don't think this is gonna last for long

Ooh the Clydesdale vs Hatchetfeild rivalry still going strong

On noooooooo he's gonna die he's alone !!!!!!! Never be alone in a horror musical the ohh no from the audience as they caught in too

Smoke club reference 👌😎 👌

The score holy fuck it hits I'm not a loser

Nightmare time theme wooo

Kill count 💀 2

The chair kick chefs kiss immaculate

Turtle Lauren 🐢 🐢 🐢

Ma brarbaque

The audiences reactions are one of the best parts of this

Ruuuuth why you gotta go by yourself love the solo but ya should've gone home with the rest of them

Also Lauren slays have I mentioned that she's amazing The whole cast is but I've always had a soft spot for her

The sadistic head pats ha

Kill count 💀 3

Kim's screams 😱 😍

Oh shitttttttttttttt the cop lady!! She's figuring shit out

Ballet flats and a gun 🔫 grace chastity people

PAUL AND EMMA PAUL AND EMMA PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!! MY BELOVEDS

Joey as hot chocolate boiiiiiiii

Sells women shoe- shoes Joey's little flub was hilarious

Steph being every lesbians dream

Also Steph and Pete's chemistry is adorable

LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS

Good luck getting a hold of her Does your phone plan cover calls to hell She's bisexual and dead where else would she be.

Holy fuck love that line I need that on a tshirt

Who am I...flops

Ohh shit what is up with that house 🏠 😳

Chairs clinking in the dark

Ooh church of the starry children were bringing it back love me some Lore drops

You can't touch him but he can touch you audience cackles

Ooooooooooooooooh THE BLACK BOOK MORE LORE!!!!!

Ooooooooooooh tinky tinky tinky time

I beg to differ bitch

Kill count 💀 5

Should stayed in Chicago cop lady

Kill count 💀 6 maybe?????

Love the lighting BTW the sound and lighting guys deserve all the praise

Who knows what kinda doors were gonna open

Singing the lords in blacks names dang I'm gonna need to memorize

WIGGGLYYYYYYY

The lords in black all together ❤️ love them

Pallywalls I guess it's not just tinky this time

The phone she cherishs it above all else haaa

Ooooooohhh nooooooooo she wants Pete nononononononononononononon

Pay the price or fuck off

Fuck she's gonna kill him nooooooo

I'm into you steph awwww I'm gonna cry 😢

The purple light is blinky still watching 👀??

They could have gone to homecoming together 😢😫

So you do know the Bible

Danmmm grace chastity lines all fucken slap

The slow step forward I love max the evil himbo ❤️

Grace is having sex with a fucken ghost 👻

The jump up on the bleachers he's amazing

So we get a happy ending I guess????

Awwwww Pete and Steph they did make it to homecoming after all

Kill count 💀 is 5 after all the cop lady survived

Love the homecoming number

Oh shittttttttt grace has gone off the rails love that for her

Welp it's done and I loved it

#starkid #nerdy prudes #nerdy prudes must die #nerd alert #grace chasity #go nighthawks #hatchetfeild #nerdy prudes spoilers

[seii-fantasy]

Valkyries sisters x Baby ! Reader

( Hrist , Randgridz and Göndul! Because why not?)

《Song playing:》

●°•●°•●°•●°•●°•

Hrist

The mom who can be very nice with you then beat your ass , 5 mins later

you're spoiled with the nice Hrist.

she's litteraly give super cool mommy vibe

She's(and the next others sis are) the one who can keeps you smile

Once you start to cry!...Oh dear lordy lord everybody run or she's gonna kachow someone a$$

The meany Hrist is gonna calm you down and gonna search for why you're crying (Loki if thats you , please run i cant hold Hrist too longer*cough , cough , cough*)

If you're hungry , ok it's alright Nice!Hrist is gonna come back and give you your bottle , if you need to change your diapers ok its alright

If someone wake you(accidentaly!) from yourself , good lord ....run, run very fast..

When you will grow up, she's gonna teach you , to be kind and how to kick someone ass when they start beating you.

When she was with Kojiro for Ragnarok , she told Brunhilde to watch over you , while you were wondering : "Mama Hrist where are you going? " which The Oldest Valkyrie accepted , when she says you see you later you were babbling some incoherent words while laughing this makes Nice!Hrist cry a lil bit and Mean!Hrist saying to you: "Dont worry my little Valkyrie , Mama is gonna beat those gods a$$!" *Kojiro watching the scene with awe*

But she still loves you , because you're so goddamn cuteeeeeee!!

Rangridz

The mom who keeps smiling everyday (Shinobu Kocho vibes) :D

Sometimes when she's busy , and cant watch over you , Lü Bu is gonna be the one who watch over you

She's the "Oh sorry Mom , i broke your vase , its alright sweetie" type of mom(for me i dont know for you)

When you will grow up she's gonna teach you , her love for the nature

If you cry , she's gon'do everything she can so you can stop crying

Her love for the nature , her sister , Lü Bu and you>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

She'll sing you a lullaby so you can sleep peacefully

If someone dare to wake you up she's gonna be upset at them the whole day , if that was an accident , its alright

When it was her turn , to the Ragnarok , she had a feeling she wont come back after her round , so she passed the whole day before the Ragnarok begun , once Brunhilde announced that it was her turn , she took you in her arms , bursting in tears as she whispered "Goodbye my little angel, I know you're going to ask yourself "Where is mom?" but know that mom loves you very much and that from where she will be, she will watch over you all your life

(This had me , crying in tears right now *sniff , sniff*😭😭)

Göndul

The "Chilly and calm" mom

At first , she doesnt know how in the world , where do you come from?

And then she cannot resist to your cute face watching in awe the ninth Valkyrie

So she decided you will be her baby

Even tho , she's in her library and her labs doing some work you will always be with her

Same as Rangridz , she might sing a lullaby for you , to sleep

Even someone dare to make you cry , they're gonna be her next experiment...

If you cry , she's gonna do the same things as Rangridz

When you'll grow up , she's gonna teach you her love for the science , her books and other things that have similarity with science

Science+Labs+you+her sisters=her love for you until forever

When Brunhilde announced it was her turn , she gave you to Hlökk and Alvitr so those two can watch over you , but before she go with Tesla , she litteraly wrote a letter and give it to Göll : "Dear sisters , if after this fight , my friend Tesla and i do not survive , please take care of my little baby and when she/he will grow up and become a beautiful scientist , you may told the truth about me "

Your beloved Sister

Göndul

*sniff , sniff* i survived this one , damn Rangridz part had me crying 😭

#Spotify #recordofragnarok #record of ragnarok headcanons #rorHrist #rorGöndul #snvHrist #snvRangridz #rorRangridz #snvGöndul #seijunns fantasy ❤️

[mentalisttraceur-software]

I think it's a really good sign of growth and healing that I'm finding myself increasingly repulsed by the kind of portability extremism that once compelled me.

One of the biggest and worst examples was shell scripts. /bin/sh was the Bourne shell in UNIXv7 (prior to that, there was the Thompson shell, and thankfully I managed to keep my mind cancer from metastasizing further backwards in time to try to achieve compatibility with that shell too). After the Bourne shell, every /bin/sh on every system was a Bourne-like shell, and if you thought that meant you could just write something that worked, take a glance at:

GNU Autoconf's Portable Shell documentation.

Sven Mascheck's various pages.

Paul Jarc's "lintsh" notes.

Ubuntu's "dash"-as-/bin/sh guide.

and others which you can find from there.

Now, a healthy person simply rejects this problem space. But for years, I was obsessed with writing shell scripts which would work on all /bin/sh still in production. It started as a growing annoyance with so many programs depending on bash - I was otherwise happily using a system with a more minimal shell at the time, and the limitations of my beloved Nokia N900 as a pocket Linux device gave me some real reason to prefer "reducing bloat" back then. Of course if it mattered to me, my compassion generalized it to everyone else in the same boat (everyone real or imagined... and in this case, mostly imagined). Then one day in the first year of my career as a software developer I got into a small argument with a coworker about them mandating #!/bin/bash instead of #!/bin/sh in our shell scripts - after he asserted that it was unreasonable to expect developers to remember what is or isn't a bashism, my maladaptive narcissistic cope reflexively kicked into full gear and now I had something to prove.

I still remember bits of that evening after work. It's... kinda horrifying looking back on it, because I was aware of what was happening in my mind. I was aware that I was basically starting to involuntarily, compulsively terraform my own preferences and values about shell scripts, from the modest and real and practical "I just want scripts to run on my N900s (BusyBox ash implementation for /bin/sh), and maybe also my Debian boxes (dash for /bin/sh)" to some perverse "principled" stance with poorly-defined scope which was divorced from any specific concrete goals. I had seen this runaway snowballing of artificial nitpicky values happen in my mind before, and I recognized that what I was doing in my head was feeding it, that it was happening again or that I was making it happen again, and I felt some conflict with that, I could see how it was bad... but back then I didn't know how to do anything about it. I didn't know how to diffuse those wants back then. I could in some technical sense, have chosen to not do it, but I couldn't stop wanting to, and I couldn't stop rationalizing it.

So I became the kind of guy that basically had every caveat mentioned on the above pages memorized. I even went as far as having a Solaris 10 VM, some old Android phones, and a PDP emulator running UNIXv7, so that I could test things not mentioned or not elaborated on those pages. But since it's really costly to remember so much trivia, I only remembered the caveats themselves, not necessarily which shells/systems they applied to. I could tell you off the top of my head "well you see, on some shells, 'set -e' will not affect the code inside functions", but I couldn't tell you which shells - I just had the caveats grouped by

"only matters on systems that no one runs anymore",

"only matters in situations you/we will never need to be compatible with (like Solaris 10's /bin/sh)",

"only matters if you want portability on Windows ports of UNIX-y shell stuff",

"only matters if you want portability beyond just Linux", and

"only matters if you want portability beyond just 'bash'".

I also used to have a little template for shell portability disclaimers that I would add to my shell scripts, deleting/re-adding lines as-needed:

# This script is compatible with Bourne and POSIX shells. # EXCEPT for the following exceptions (last verified on YYYY-MM-DD): # Comments (Appeared in 1981, still not universal around 1987) # Functions (First appeared in SVR2 Bourne shells in 1984) # `mkfifo` (First appeared sometime circa 1984, possibly earlier; unsure) # `test -p` (First appeared in SVR1 Bourne shell in 1983). # `wait` exit status (Missing in Almquist shell until 4.4BSD in 1993) # `hash` builtin (First appeared in SVR2 Bourne shells in 1984) # `type` builtin (First appeared in SVR2 Bourne shells in 1984) # $() is used instead of `` (not supported by some ancient Bourne shells) # `shift` when no positional parameters (broke some old MIPS RISC/os shells) # ${VAR%glob} substitution (Solaris (<= 10) /bin/sh does not support it) ...

That version of me looked at my old esceval.sh with pride, as if it was important or worthwhile. It tries to use modern-ish POSIX shell features but falls back to portable shell if it must. Basically every single line has at least one detail that is a deliberate portability choice. Almost every degree of freedom has been optimized for portability (and then some performance optimization within that) - change almost anything and it's probably less portable.

I revisited "esceval" for the first time in years this past week, and I noticed something really nice. I no longer have enough appetite for this portabiliy stuff. I'm too acutely aware, down to my motivating emotions, that it's a waste of my life. I'm once again in touch with actual concrete use-cases and benefits that have high odds of coming up in my life. I've re-learned to value myself and my goals more than this portability shit.

So I'm going to delete the portability fallback from "esceval.sh". I'm done trying to figure out what the portability fallback looks like for the other esceval pieces that I still want to finish. Unless I'm being compensated better than I can get elsewhere, I'm never again going to lift a finger to support Solaris 10 /bin/sh, or Android phones lobotomized to the point of not having a "printf" command in their shell, or anything else that isn't at least POSIX-compatible shell. And even then I'd suggest implementing that by writing a backpiler from modern shell to older. Maybe I'll answer portability questions if I still remember the answer and can say it off the top of my head - I enjoy helping people after all.

And it goes deeper than that. I'm very done giving Bourne-style shells nearly as much time and effort as I've given them so far. They're good DSLs for redirecting file descriptors and sorta okay DSLs for invoking and managing processes, and that's about it. As an unfortunate practical matter, Bourne-style shell is one of the most widely deployed programming language families, so if the goal is "I want to be able to give this tiny CLI to a coworker so they can run it on their machine with minimal human hassle", it can be nice to have a #!/bin/sh implementation (but so is having a couple statically compiled executables for the common platforms and a cross-compiler ready for the rest, or a Python script, or [...]).

It'll take me some time to figure out exactly where that balance is, and to fully unlearn the various hangups and compulsions that I've built up which motivate writing a /bin/sh script instead of something else, but what I've been doing so far definitely ain't that balance, ain't even close, and now I finally have a strong-enough hunger for breaking free and moving in the direction of that healthier balance.

#software #how i waste my abilities #how i used to waste my abilities #bourne shell #mentalisttraceur personal