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littlebitwriter · 5 years

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MORE BIG SCREEN ANIMATED COMIC-BOOK SUPERHERO MOVIES!?

Should there be more big screen animated comic book superhero films… What would it take to see big screen animated superhero movies? Why aren’t we seeing more animated films? Why is it only just live action stuff? Superheroes are really big right now. We are seeing live action stuff all over TV right now, we are seeing obviously tons of great stuff going on in The Marvel Cinematic Universe and it looks like finally DC is getting there ducks in a row finally. It’s a really good time to be a superhero fan for the screens. On the other hand we have seen many animated superhero shows not making people as happy as they used to. Where really cool you can take it pretty seriously pushing envelopes kind of shows got cancelled in fair of more least common denominator type stuff.

However with the success of Big Hero 6, which was at the time a really obscure property that I myself didn’t know much about. It was super neat that Disney was mining other Marvel properties that don’t have to be in the MCU and I want more of that and that is very, very possible. With the success of Into The Spider-Verse there are now unlimited possibilities of where to go from here and to take chances with different properties on the big screen.

You may wonder why aren’t there as many? The problem is there are a majority of people too thrilled with the novelty of seeing things recognized in live action. *Which is in a way kind of total proof with the live-action Disney films* Because studios or even the public feels live-action is more legitimized for an adult audience. Which I find to be extremely annoying, because what it’s really telling us is that it’s more about spectacle than it is about the story. Because it doesn’t matter if it’s animated or live action, story is king. You can do a much cheaper movie in animation and do a much bigger show.

Look at Warner Bros. they were the first to dabble in this realm with their cult hit Batman: Mask of The Phantasm. A film that came out Christmas of 1993, which wasn’t a financial hit but it is perhaps legitimately one of if not the best theatrical Batman movies ever made. A big thing with these animated films is bringing it over to a house that understands how to market it. The only reason Mask of The Phantasm didn’t perform because no one knew it was in the theater. Batman: The Animated Series was a hit they had every reason to put it in the theater I think Warner’s at the last minute said make it for the theater instead of direct-to-video but they didn’t do anything to market it. Meanwhile Tim Burton’s Batman and Batman Returns were both really successful movies but why the hell couldn’t they sell this!? Mask of The Phantasm was not a kiddie-film it was a perfectly reasonable film to try and sell to adults while still being completely appropriate to kids. There is also some horror imagery in that film with some cool fantastic stuff that felt even a bit more for adults than the show did while still being good for kids.

Fast forward to now, If they made Mask of The Phantasm now they would aim it at adults because superheroes are in and for everybody. Look at Into The Spider-Verse that is a film doing really well at the box office, was extremely well marketed, and was most importantly a good film. With this film although it is Sony, the success of this film would catch Warner and Disney’s eye. So far from Warner’s you are getting things like The Lego Batman Movie or Teen Titans GO! To The Movies which is more kind of like fun aimed at kids comedy stuff. Now with the fun comic booky-ness and was a film mature enough to handle death and violence.

This could pave the way for more good animated films and some serious stuff like taking animation more seriously. By that I mean doing these superhero films in the Pixar method. Where they are most importantly good films that have a wide appeal. Pixar has always had a great track record and is able to make thought provoking animated films that are relevant and appeal to audiences and like Incredibles 2 proving they are capable of being blockbuster hits. Now with Disney acquiring Fox properties they have a lot of different things they can plumb the depths of and they have the money to take the risks (Fantastic Four and X-Men). Also even though Warner’s for direct to video has been making various direct to video animated films there have been hits and there have been misses maybe Warner’s will compete with the success of Into The Spider-Verse.

These could be sophisticated feature-length animated superhero movies that could appeal to all ages or we can have ones geared towards more adult audiences. Maybe Warner’s and Disney will experiment by making theatrical animated films that span from PG-13 to R-rated. How about they can push the envelopes of what can be done with these animated films and try to make solid movies. Back then, it would be either “Nobody is going is going to watch it. WHO CARES!” Or “It’ll do the numbers it’s going to do regardless.”

What these films need to find is a writer that is out there who will work for fair money that is really excited to get to work on these characters. (PLEASE HIRE ME Warner Bros., Sony & Disney) Instead of in-house people that kind of phone it in and who are drawn to a paycheck. There needs to be more people like Lord & Miller who worked on Into The Spider-Verse these are passion projects. Where these are labors of love and should be treated that way. Maybe do a modern noir detective definitive Batman film that everyone will pay attention too and it just happens to be animated. I just want good theatrical animated films.

Maybe a great emotionally resonant iconic Pixar-style Superman film that happens to be animated. Would be awesome. It would be the perfect response and juxtaposition to the gritty darker less fun Superman of Man of Steel or Batman V. Superman. Doing something with a lot of heart maybe get a great Superman writer or even someone like Genndy Tartakovsky creator of Samurai Jack and Hotel Transylvania and his team to bring back their unrealized project and make the film and allow that team to tell a great original story.

That being said I want a theatrical film by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini in that style of animation and perhaps set in that world of the DCAU giving them one last chance to do the theatrical project they always wanted. Anyway that is all I have to say on this subject, I would love more theatrical animated comic book superhero films.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

- Lil Bit Writer

12/15/18

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

The rise of streaming has changed the entire landscape of movie making and i kind of love it. I wrote about how Netflix fundamentally shifted how films are made and distributed a while back so, if your curious on my take about that, you can search for that within this blog. This one isn’t about how the barrier to entry for film has been dramatically lowered but more about how these services have the ridiculous potential to right the wrongs forced upon fans and creators alike, by disingenuous studios. The Snyder Cut is a perfect example of this contradiction. For years, Warner Bros. refused to even entertain the idea of releasing Snyder’s cut of the film because Justice league was a financial flop. The ridiculous ting about that is the fact it failed because Warner made it fail.

In their hurry to compete with the MCU, they mandated the dark tone of Superman because Batman is their cash cow. We had just come of Nolan’s epic Dark Knight trilogy and, instead of understanding why that narrative tone fit for that character and finding one that aligns with Superman, they decided to just make an entire universe of brooding, violent, edgelord, nonsense and hired the guy who bright the most cynical comic book, ever, to the big screen, to do it. The Snyderverse exists because Batman made billions of dollars. lost in the hubris of “Why so serious” money, they turned Superman into Bat, Batman in to the f*cking Punisher, Wonder Woman into Girl Batman, though, that was rectified a little bit in 84 to abysmal results, Aquaman into Dude-Bro Wet Batman, Cyborg into Metal Emo Batman, and Flash into Speedster Spider-man. Warner chose to chase the superficial aesthetic in hope to cash in on that Nolan-adjacent tone, instead of actually building a world and it has crippled the DCEU to this day. That is until ATT came through with the biggest of dick energy.

ATT bought out Warner Media and HBO in an effort to compete with the juggernaut that is Disney and immediately forced the studio to release Snyder’s version of League. There has been an overwhelming amount of fan support for this clusterf*ck of a cinematic universe and, while i don’t particularly care for it because i don’t like how Snyder make’s movies, i recognize that there is a pretty large audience for this stuff. ATT recognized this, too, and since they needed content for their fledgling HBOmax streaming service, they basically forced WB to let Snyder have is due. This flew in the face of everything Warner was trying to do because they had already decided that the Snyderverse was a bust, even though they made it a point to craft the Snyderverse that way in the first place, to standout from the overly kiddy, overly commercial, laughably successful, MCU. They fired Snyder for doing the exact job they hired him to do and then gotbutt0hurt it didn’t work they way they wanted it to. That wasn’t Snyders fault. He delivered exactly what he pitched. Every film Zack Snyder has made, is some semblance of Watchmen. That’s the only movie he knows how to make. You can’t be mad that a man who noodles for catfish, comes home with a Gooch, even though halfway through you decided you wanted trout. ATT understood this, saw the potential duckets to be had, and let Snyder play in his edgelord, emo, universe to his heart’s content on WB’s dime and it paid off.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is four hours of bloated, unwieldy, brain-dead, spectacle, slathered in the worst kind of superficial pretension and grandiose self-indulgence. It’s so far up it’s own ass and i wouldn’t have it any other way. Zack Snyder was right. This thing’s ridiculous numbers prove that. This is his victory and and he deserves all of the shine. Now, i personally think that Zack Snyder is an awful filmmaker, but i am glad the Snyder Cut exists and i even more supportive of #RestoretheSnyderverse. I don’t care for his take on these characters but dude has a story he wants to tell and he deserves to tell it, especially after how dirty Warner did him him the first place. Listen, i cannot stress enough how much i think Snyder was the wrong choice to bring these characters to life but he had a plan and the studios wrecked it before throwing hum under the bus. Dude knew what he was doing and this version for the film proves that. Proof that Warner hates. They’ve already gone into over time distancing themselves from the project, the president of Warner Media going so far as to say this will be it for the Snyder verse. Nah. Not when it’s doing the numbers it is and ATT is running out of room to horde that cash. On the same day Warner released that statement about the Snyderverse being dead was released, someone leaked that ATT is trying to use HBOmax as an outlet to restore that laughably profitable Snyderverse. If these rumors are true, then the fact that HBOmax exists is how this version of the DCEU continues in direct competition with the Hamadaverse of films. Warner is, effectively, competing with itself at this point and i kind of love it, all thanks to streaming.

I love director’s cuts of films. They almost always come off better than the original, theatrical, release. Studios often butcher and rend a creator’s vision in order to maximize profits by fitting in the most viewing at a theater or alter key elements of a narrative that doesn’t jive with generic test audiences. I understand that the movie industry is a business but this is what happens when you monetize art. It’s absurd. This is why we have seven different versions of Blade Runner and three version of Highlander II. This is why Alien 3 is so f*cking garbage but the Assembly Cut is head-and-shoulder better. Kingdom of Heaven is a perfect example of how the corporate hatchet can ruin a film. Ridley Scott’s initial vision for that movie is three hours and some change long. There’s no way theaters can show enough screenings for that to turn a profit so Warner cut it down to two and a half hours with credits. If you have close to three and a half hours of storytelling but cut out a whole f*cking hour of it, your narrative isn’t going to make any f*cking sense but Warner didn’t care. They made the executive decision to ruin this movie and, for years, i hated this film. But then i saw the director’s cut, that three hour version. Kingdom of Heaven is f*cking brilliant when it’s told the way it was intended to be told. We had to wait for the home media release of the film to see that though because the business of film hobbled the artistic value of the vision. Streaming changes all of that.

Disney has a four hour, re-cut, version for Rise of Skywalker in the works to air exclusively on Disney+. That film is supposed to fix a lot of what Kathleen Kennedy broke with her abject disdain for the Star Wars universe and her ludicrously bloated ego. This wouldn’t have been a thing if not for Disney+, if not for streaming. Four hour epics can turn a profit if the audience is there and you aren’t beholden to the studio-theater system that has gimped film creators for decades. If Netflix was around when i was a kid, maybe Anderson’s intended version of Event Horizon could have been released there after the theatrical version had it’s run, instead of just being lost to time. Event Horizon is an example of how the wrong test audience can solicit a knee jerk hatchet to your film because suburban moms don’t care for satanic visuals and over-the-top gore. If Netflix was around, maybe Jennifer’s Body could have been a hit instead of a cult classic. Maybe the studio could have marketed the film like the director wanted instead of running on the notions that “Megan Fox hot” and selling her sex appeal to teenage boys, only for them to be disappointed when it’s more a nuanced tale of female relationships with underlying tones of feminist lesbianism. Jennifer’s Body was already one of my favorite films but when i saw the director’s cut, i was incensed. They massacred my girl because horny teenagers didn’t like the test screenings. The studios promised these dickbutt horndogs a film that didn’t exist and then got mad when the profits didn’t materialize. Dropping that sh*t on Netflix would have gone a long way to recoup some of them losses.

Now, not all studios are terrible. A24 and Neon are really great at letting their creators, create what they want, but they lack the level of major studio resources to do it. The same joint that brought you Ex Machina can’t afford to deliver the next Avatar or Marvel film but there’s no way Paramount releases something as risky as Under the Skin. Now that streaming exists, you can bypass all of that. Studios can make their more indie or experimental sh*t and drop it directly to the consumer, instead of trying to run it on a money pit imprint like Fox Searchlight. To take it a step further, you can go directly to a joint like Netflix or Amazon Studios, and bypass the bullsh*t studio system as a whole. Hell, you can even leverage that into getting your own sh*t, like the Avatar cats did to Nickelodeon. Paramount needs content for their streaming service, Avatar was shafted by Nickelodeon forcing them to take a run at Netflix but that proved to be a not so ideal partnership, so Paramount came back with a peace offering and now these cats have an entire studio to themselves, just to make more Aang stuff. I am absolutely in love with the leverage these streaming services have over the film industry now. It feels like we can get back to the Nineties where sh*t that might be more risky financially or alienating to large audiences, can still see the light of day. Creators can make the sh*t they want and still get their vision to the audience, even if the studios ruin their flick for theatrical profits.

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hubskitchen · 6 years

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Hub’s Kitchen Episode 4: Why the DC Extended Universe Failed (DCEU Retrospective)

DISCLAIMER: This is a continuation of the previous installment of Hub’s Kitchen. Please read that episode before reading this one. Or not, it’s your choice. Also, spoilers for: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Wonder Woman, and Justice League.

What’s up guys, my name’s Hub, and welcome to another installment of Hub’s Kitchen. Episode, installment, same difference, this isn’t an academic essay now. In the last episode, I talked about some cinematic universes and what problems they faced or are going to face. At the end, I said I was saving one particular cinematic universe for this episode, and that it needed its own episode dedicated to it. Well, I’m gonna talk about that universe today. Prepare yourselves, as I dive into the horror that is known as: The DC Extended Universe.

If there’s one cinematic universe that can rival the Marvel Cinematic Universe in terms of popularity and success besides Star Wars, it’d be DC’s cinematic universe. The Marvel/DC rivalry has been going on since the 1960’s, when a good chunk of Marvel’s heroes were introduced during the Silver Age of comic books. Throughout the past 5+ decades, both have had their major successes and major blunders. DC has always had the advantage in the animation side of things compared to Marvel, but that doesn’t mean Marvel hasn’t had good shows. The Spectacular Spider-Man and Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes series are some of my favorite animated shows of all time. I prefer Marvel because of the heroes and how more human they are compared to DC’s catalog, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like DC. My first exposure to superheroes was the Justice League animated series from the widely beloved DC Animated Universe, and I’ve been a superhero fan since. In a perfect world, the Marvel/DC rivalry on film would be a monumental and huge war, both sides unleashing their various heroes onto the screen for audiences to love, and giving more fans more room for debate in the long-fabled who’s better debate: Marvel or DC? Instead, it’s more like Marvel is curb stomping DC into the fucking dirt. I feel a brief history lesson is necessary to really bring this whole thing into context.

HOW THIS ALL FELL INTO PLACE

Several years ago, from the 70’s to the 90’s, DC had the upper hand on film, especially with classics like Superman: The Movie, and Tim Burton’s Batman ‘89. Meanwhile, Marvel struggled to get anything onto the screen, with failures like the 1989 Punisher, the 1990 Captain America, and the cancelled, but only viewable through bootleg 1994 Fantastic Four movie. Then, Marvel went bankrupt in 1996, and to keep them afloat, they sold all the movie rights to all their characters to various movie studios. Sony got Spider-Man, FOX got the X-Men and Fantastic Four, etc. During this period, Superman already fell from grace with the 1987 bomb Superman 4: The Quest for Peace, and Batman would soon follow with 1997’s Batman and Robin, one of the most infamous comic book movies of all time. The genre would see a new beginning with 1998’s Blade. In 2000, FOX launched their first X-Men movie, and in 2002, Spider-Man came out, which is the movie that I believe is what started the comic book movie boom that’s still going on, and would be the template that the Marvel Cinematic Universe would follow. DC, meanwhile, rebooted Batman with 2005’s Batman Begins, which would later follow up with 2008’s The Dark Knight, which is often considered to be the greatest comic book movie of all time. Unfortunately, not everything was working out for both Marvel and DC. Superman Returns, the first Superman movie since Quest For Peace, while a modest hit, wasn’t the hit Warner Bros were expecting it to be, and today, Superman Returns isn’t looked at very fondly. While FOX successfully launched the X-Men onto the world of film, the Fantastic Four wouldn’t get the same level of success with both the 2005 film and it’s 2007 sequel, Rise of the Silver Surfer. Sony was also in a pickle with 2007’s Spider-Man 3, which disappointed audiences. Pile that on with Hulk, Daredevil, and Ghost Rider, and Marvel was having some pretty notable failures in their catalog. However, while Universal, FOX, and Sony failed with the aforementioned films, something huge was coming from Marvel Studios when Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk released in 2008. The first Iron Man had the famous end credits sequence with Nick Fury telling Tony Stark that he was a “part of a bigger universe,” and in The Incredible Hulk, we see Tony Stark in a scene of the movie, leading fans to believe that something was coming. 2010 and 2011 marked the releases of Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger, and in 2012, the culmination of all 5 movies released: The Avengers. The Avengers was a massive success, being that it was the first movie to make over $200 million in its opening weekend in the United States. The movies from Iron Man to The Avengers would later be known as Phase 1 of the MCU. Knowing where Marvel Studios is today, it’s amazing how huge they’ve become, making Marvel into a global phenomenon, at least in the realm of movies. This left Warner Bros pressured to make a cinematic universe of their own DC superheroes and get a Justice League movie out as soon as possible. However, this wasn’t actually the first time WB tried to set up a DC cinematic universe.

GREEN LANTERN

In 2011, Green Lantern was released in theaters. On the surface level, Green Lantern was following the footsteps of the first Iron Man: Taking a B-list character and making a movie that would set up the foundation of what would later be a cinematic universe. However, that didn’t work out for Warner Bros. Green Lantern was released to mediocre to terrible reviews, and was a flop at the box office, grossing $219 million on a $200 million dollar budget. Thus, all plans for sequels to Green Lantern were cancelled. The movie is often considered to be one of the worst comic book movies of all time, and was subject of a joke in Deadpool, with “Please don’t make the super suit green, or animated!” Good thing Ryan Reynolds got his big break with that movie. In 2013, WB released Man of Steel in theaters. Man of Steel was directed by Zack Snyder, who directed 300 and the live action adaptation of Watchmen in 2009. The head writer was David Goyer, who wrote for the Dark Knight trilogy, and one of the producers was Christopher Nolan, the director of the Dark Knight trilogy. *In Bubsy voice* How could any of this possibly go wrong?

MAN OF STEEL

It could go wrong, but not horribly wrong. Instead of releasing to rave reviews, and making over a billion dollars at the box office, Man of Steel released to mixed reviews, and in WB’s eyes, underperformed at $668 million dollars. To this day, Man of Steel is one of the most divisive comic book movies of all time, with some seeing it as a great reinvention of Superman, and others seeing it as a betrayal at who Superman is. Not exactly the foundation you want to build your cinematic universe on, huh? As for me, I side with the more negative reactions to Man of Steel, but not as much as I did back in 2013. With the benefit of hindsight, I see Man of Steel as a movie that could have been great, but it wasn't. The issue with Man of Steel, and the thing that kills the movie for me, is that they changed Superman to accommodate the world the DC Extended Universe built up, rather than have Superman be the character he’s always been. I’d be fine with a less experienced, more doubtful Superman, if after this movie, he slowly, but gradually becomes the Superman people expect. We’ll talk about that in a bit, but it didn’t help that the movie spent so much time telling us that Superman will be great, instead of just showing us. Given what we see, Supes destroying shit in Smallville and Metropolis, I don’t think he’s going to be great at all. It also didn’t help that the movie was slow as shit. I can take slow-paced stuff, but you need to really have me engrossed in order to deal with it, ‘cause a slow-pace can kill something for me. I could go on further, but we need to move this along. Overall, I think Man of Steel is mediocre, but not terrible. So, given how this movie underperformed, what do you think Warner Bros’ would do for the future? Hit the Batman Emergency button, of course! Because Batman did wonders for Warner Bros with the Dark Knight trilogy, they decided to put Batman in the follow-up to Man of Steel. But they couldn’t stop at just putting a Batman and Superman conflict into this movie. They also needed to add Wonder Woman, ‘cause the DC Trinity needs to be on screen now that The Avengers got their movie. That still wasn’t enough, however. Let’s take elements of The Dark Knight Returns and Death of Superman storylines and adapt them. Okay, this could still work. Hold on! We need to let the audience know that Justice League is coming, so let’s put in Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg into a scene that literally advertises their films and the Justice League movie. Now we need to double down on the dark and gritty tone people were divided with on Man of Steel, and let’s try to be even more profound and deep, unlike that stupid kiddy Marvel crap that’s successful for some reason. This is for the intellectually elite, motherfuckers! This movie will be a masterpiece! It’ll mop the floor with that stupid Marvel movie, Captain America: Civil War! People will love our movie, right?!

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

Haha, ha, WB executives are fucking hilarious. Batman v Superman, which I’m just going to refer to as BvS from now on for simplicity’s sake, released to negative reviews and was even more divisive than Man of Steel with audiences and fans. WB wanted this movie to make $1.1 billion, which is what Captain America: Civil War would end up making. Instead, despite a strong opening weekend, BvS had the second largest opening weekend drop off, with 2003’s Hulk still retaining that record. BvS would only end up making $872 million at the box office, which WB labeled as another underperformer. In my humble opinion, BvS is the worst comic book movie I’ve ever seen, and is a good contender for the worst of its genre. “But Hub,” I hear some of you say, “Wasn’t Age of Ultron accused of the same issues BvS had? Why did that film still end up being successful?” A few reasons. Age of Ultron, despite it not receiving rave reviews like the first Avengers movie did, still received fairly positive reviews and word of mouth, and still made $1.4 billion at the box office, which is less than the $1.5 billion the first Avengers made. That’s diminishing returns, but not by a lot. Second, while I’ll agree that AoU isn’t one of Marvel Studios’ best films, as it suffered from studio interference, I can at least say that the movie wasn’t broken at the seams. It got derailed a few times (Hi, Thor pond scene and Hulk X Black Widow relationship), but it the characters still felt like themselves, there were some legitimately great moments (Vision and Ultron in the woods is a good example), and wasn’t trying to be profound and deep. It tried to tell a more grand story than the first Avengers, but it was never pretentious, even if the movie bit off more than it could chew. AoU had to do a lot, too much in fact, and the movie came out as a mess, but not a terrible mess, or even irredeemable one. It’s honestly a miracle that AoU ended up as good as it was, given the circumstances. Heavily flawed, but I can admire what it set out to do. Had to get that unnecessary, but also necessary “Marvel isn’t perfect” thing so I don’t get accused of being a Marvel or Disney shill. Christ.

Back onto the actual subject, BvS is a fucking trainwreck on every possible level if you ask me. Okay, maybe not so much the music, but even then, Wonder Woman’s theme is the only song that I can remember. Then again, I don’t pay attention to music when I watch movies, as I listen to those on my own time. The story was so badly told, and the stand out moments were so horrible, I’m shocked that this movie was approved with the script that it was given. This is one of the few times I think of my theater experience when watching a movie. Man of Steel’s theater experience made me sick with the shitty shaky-cam, but this movie made me angry while watching it, and I never get angry when watching movies, so you have to be really bad in order to make me angry when watching. Two moments in particular, the infamous Martha scene and Superman’s death made me want to walk out on the movie. I’ve never wanted to walk out of a movie before, so that was a first for me. I think the biggest sin BvS makes that isn’t destroying famous comic book stories and having some of the worst versions of Batman AND Superman, is that not only is BvS slow to the point of boring, with very little of actual importance happening, but the movie tries to be so profound in its messages and imagery, like this is some fucking college arthouse film. A lot of people say the worst thing a movie can be is be boring. I respectfully disagree. For me, the worst thing a movie can be is be boring and trying to act like it’s so smart with its themes. The whole god amongst humans thing has been done to death, quite literally in the case of this movie, and the way it’s presented and written, comes off as overly pretentious. I can’t wait for someone to tell me that this movie is for the intellectually elite, while also saying that I need a high IQ in order to understand this movie. It’s why I prefer a movie to be rushed and have little actual meaning, than a movie that’s slow paced and try to be profound. This applies to bad movies only, of course.

There’s two cuts that exist for BvS: The one that was released in theaters, and the 3 hour, rated R extended cut, dubbed the “Ultimate Cut.” Yes, because the first movie about Batman and FUCKING Superman TOTALLY needed a rated R cut. I’ve watched the Ultimate cut, or more like I was forced to watch it because my brother made me sit with him and watch it. There’s a reason why I never trust the man with movies. But, how is the Ultimate cut? Well… it’s better… *sigh* Okay, it’s more complete this time around. It doesn’t feel like a huge chunk was cut out for no reason, and there’s more context surrounding the events of the movie, but does that actually fix the movie? Judging by my statement, no, no it doesn’t. Many of the problems that were in the theatrical cut are still present in this version: Batman and Superman hate each other for their own reasons but do the things they say they hate about the other, making them hypocrites, Lex Luthor’s plan makes no sense and is overly convoluted, Lois Lane is still useless, the action is still poor overall, Wonder Woman is still an afterthought, the title fight that the movie has its entire purpose riding on is still lackluster at best, the Martha scene is still stupid, and the movie essentially destroyed all hopes of a great Superman story by wasting the Death of Superman storyline. What else can I say? I fucking hate this movie, the end. Holy shit, that was a long section. How’s about something shorter?

SUICIDE SQUAD

This is gonna be a very short segment compared to the BvS one, but that’s because in a shocking twist, I haven’t actually sat down and watched Suicide Squad. I’ll still talk about how the movie ended up the way it did and how it was received, but I can’t actually comment on the movie itself. I’m also putting Suicide Squad’s history here because the BvS segment is long enough. Anyway, after BvS underperformed, Warner Bros panicked and decided to make a course correction with Suicide Squad. People liked the trailers, which made the movie appear to be DC’s answer to Guardians of the Galaxy. In fact, the people who made the trailers ended up editing the movie. Yes, really. The concept of the movie sounded awesome. A ragtag group of villains forced to do good things or they die is a really interesting concept and if executed well, could be seen as a new form of comic book movie. The anti-Avengers, you could say. However, that wasn’t meant to be. Suicide Squad was received about as well as BvS was, with some saying it was even worse than BvS. Seeing as how I haven’t seen the movie, I can’t comment on it, but given what I’ve heard, it sounds like a shitty version of Guardians of the Galaxy, both of them, and the sequel wasn’t out when Suicide Squad came out. At the very least, the movie was said to have been more profitable than BvS, even though it made $746 million at the box office on a $175 million budget. So, 3 misfires so far, and the best received one divided audiences and critics. The DCEU was in serious trouble, and there needed to be a miracle in order to save this franchise. Well, unbeknownst to Warner Bros, their savior, to a degree anyway, would come from an underestimated superhero, or should I say, superheroine!

WONDER WOMAN

Remember when I said that Wonder Woman was an afterthought in BvS? Well, she was, but she had a movie coming out. I find it funny that we live in a world where the Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, Deadpool, the Suicide Squad, and Doctor Strange got their own movies before Wonder Woman, the third member of the DC Trinity. The world is weird. Diana’s movie came out, and it blew away expectations. Not that they were high to begin with, but let’s not be so cynical here. Wonder Woman released to great reviews and audiences loved it. The movie made over $412 million dollars at the U.S. box office, more than any of the Marvel Studios films at the same box office, and outperformed Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man for the highest grossing superhero origin movie, and Spidey held the record for 15 years. The movie would end up making $821 million dollars at the global box office, making it the second highest grossing movie in the DCEU, with BvS being the highest grossing, but unlike BvS, Wonder Woman didn’t underperform and was a huge hit. So, what did I think of Wonder Woman? Well, gotta give credit where credit is due, but the DCEU has an installment where I can confidently call good. Diana herself was better characterized than she was in BvS. My favorite scene in the movie is when she and Steve Trevor are about to go to No Man’s Land, but before they embark on the train ride there, Diana gets ice cream from an ice cream vendor, and tells the ice cream man that he’s wonderful. This is something that this franchise has been sorely lacking: Little touches. The movie also used the dark and gritty motif of the DCEU correctly. This is because the movie was set during World War 1, which was a shitty time, and we had Themyscira, a bright and colorful place to contrast with the shitty London and battlefields. The first two acts, minus the underwhelming action that relied too much on slow motion for my tastes, were well handled and even great. Despite what I said about the action, that No Man’s Land sequence was awesome. However, and this hurts me to say this, the third act happens. Ooooh, the third act. If there was one movie that was so close to greatness, only to have the ending nearly ruin it, it’s this movie. I know I’m going to be labeled sexist for not saying Wonder Woman is a great movie, but please, bare with me. So, throughout the movie, Diana wants to kill Ares, the god of war. The legend of Ares states that he’s the reason why mankind goes to war with each other. However, Diana kills General Stryker (I’m calling him that because it’s the same actor from X-Men 2), and she believed him to be Ares. I mean, to be fair, he was huffing up some magic powder or something, so I can believe that. After killing General Stryker, Diana sees that the humans are still preparing their assault. Diana is horrified to see this, and she asks Steve Trevor why the humans are still at war now that she killed Ares. Shortly after this, the real Ares comes and then the movie goes into the usual third act climax. Now, I don’t have a problem with third act climaxes. So, why do I have an issue with it here? Ares was mentioned being alive early in the movie, so what’s the big deal? I think it has to do with how the movie was written. The way the movie played out, it seemed like Diana realizing that humans are, in her words, “so much more,” than what they seem. This could have explained why she gave up the Wonder Woman mantle and stayed in the human world for a century. Not having a third act climax in order to develop a character, with the message that humans are much more, even at their worst, would have been amazing. Instead, the movie throws all of that away for a final fight with Ares and Steve Trevor sacrificing himself. It felt tacked on and cheapened the movie. It came off as rewarding Diana for being naive, which is something I hated about the movie. Her entire character arc was rendered meaningless because of that last act. There’s also some questions after the fight that are never answered. Now that Ares is dead, does that mean World War 2 and the Cold War never happened in this universe? If killing Ares ended all conflict in humanity, why is the world so grim when Man of Steel begins? This act single handedly derailed the movie. What could have been a potential masterpiece only ends up being decent in my opinion. I won’t go as far as to say the third act ruined the movie, but it does end up hurting the movie by quite a bit if you ask me. I should reiterate that Wonder Woman is overall, a solid movie, but the third act really holds it back. Now, let’s get to the fifth and final movie in this, I guess you could call it, DCEU Retrospective, the big JL.

JUSTICE LEAGUE

Fun fact: Did you know that there was going to be a Justice League movie long before The Avengers? The movie was called Justice League: Mortal, and was going to release sometime around 2007/2008, if not later than that. However, I guess WB decided “Naaah, we got our golden boyo Christopher Nolan here doing Batman movies for us. The audience will be confused if two live action Batmen were on screen.” Not giving the audience enough credit, I see? I mean, I’m not sure what happened, but I’m pretty sure you can look up a video Justice League: Mortal.

Justice League faced tons of behind the scenes problems. There were talks of Ben Affleck (aka, DCEU Bats) directing which never went through, the movie being completely reworked just mere weeks before shooting began because of BvS’s terrible reception, Joss Whedon (the guy who wrote and directed the first two Avengers movies) taking over as director and reworking the movie after Zack Snyder tragically lost his daughter from suicide, etc, etc, etc. Now, I’m not saying a movie that has behind the scenes problems is doomed to failure. After all, A New Hope had several behind the scenes problems, with George Lucas even writing the film off before it premiered, and look at how well that movie ended up turning out. Although I was livid after BvS and missed Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman gave me some hope that Justice League wouldn’t be that bad. Well… I was sort of right on that.

Let me get one thing straight: Justice League is a terrible movie. The story reeks of “Been there, done that, seen it before, seen it better, and will see it better in the future.” The characters were flat at best, and irritating at worst (looking at you, second-rate MCU Spider-Man aka Flash), and the villain is one of the worst I’ve ever seen (seriously, Steppenwolf is a fucking mid-boss, so why is he the big bad of 4 years?). To top it off, the film is a tonal and visual mess, and what I mean by the latter is that Joss Whedon’s Avengers-esc style clashes heavily with Zack Snyder’s supposed deep and dark vision. Justice League comes off as, to quote one of my favorite YouTube channels, Midnight’s Edge “A Frankensteinian abomination.” That being said, at least the film didn’t try to shove philosophical messages down my throat or try so fucking hard to be deep and meaningful, so JL’s already better than Man of Steel and BvS in that regard. I also liked that we finally got a Superman that actually felt like Superman should instead of what MoS and BvS tried to make him be. I left Justice League feeling… indifferent, I guess? I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it either. All I know is that I should have been feeling a lot more positive about this movie than I actually did. The Justice League animated series from the DC Animated Universe was my introduction to superheroes, and I still think holds up wonderfully today. I may have not been a fan of how Season 1 handled Superman in regards to the villains of that show, but I still think it’s a fantastic show. It’s a fucking shame that Warner Bros essentially failed to make a movie worthy of the name: Justice League. To make Justice League look even of a failure, we’re gonna have to talk about box office again.

Wanna know how much Justice League costed to make, including reshoots? $300 million. Justice League is the second most expensive movie ever made, with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides being the most expensive. Want to know how much money it made, or has made so far? $655 million. Yes, only that much. On its opening weekend in America, it made $93 million. It couldn’t even make $100 million! It took the movie a fucking month to make the same amount The Avengers made in its opening weekend. If that’s not a “Get fucked, DC,” I don’t know what is. So, now that I spent this entire time going over each DCEU movie in detail (sorry that this has been so long to begin with), it’s now time to answer the question: Why did the DC Extended Universe fail?

WHY THE DCEU FAILED

If you ask me, the main reason the DC Extended Universe failed was because Warner Bros didn’t have a set plan or a person with a vision to keep the universe in tact. The reason Marvel Studios and the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been consistently successful is because of one man, and that man is Kevin Feige. Originally being a producer for the early X-Men and Spider-Man movies, along with other Marvel films, he was the brainchild behind the MCU, and has been an executive producer for each movie in the MCU so far. When a movie doesn’t measure up to the rest, which was the case with Thor: The Dark World, the MCU didn’t go into a panic and have the next few movies affected by Thor 2’s failings. Instead, the franchise carried on, and all the problems of The Dark World were addressed and mostly solved with Thor: Ragnorok. DC, meanwhile, doesn’t have a Kevin Feige. Warner Bros made the choice to make the DCEU director-driven, rather than producer-driven. The problem with making a mega-franchise with multiple franchises inside is that you need to have them be producer-driven to have a consistent vision. I know that a common complaint with the MCU is that it tends to revolve around a single formula, often referred to as the “Marvel Formula,” but a consistent vision needs to be in check to keep things in line. Having director-driven movies is good, but can lead to a clash of visions. Maybe I should do a Hub’s Kitchen episode on that. Hmm… Because of BvS’s failings, Suicide Squad and Justice League had to be radically altered during shooting and post-production, rather than before shooting and during pre-production, which was the case of Thor: Ragnorok going in a different direction than the previous Thor films.

I also feel that not sticking to what made the characters so beloved is another reason the DCEU failed. I’ve always been one to say that accuracy doesn’t make a movie good, but even so, I still believe that the main point of the character should be completely in tact. Marvel Studios has done a great job at this, even when they had to slightly rework characters like Spider-Man for example. Despite him having a tech suit made by Tony Stark, Peter still made his original suit, his web shooters, webbing, is still a smart kid, and relatable. Meanwhile, the DCEU decided “Hey, you know Superman? Yeah, let’s make him a complete brooding asshole and have him kill people for no reason other than its cool.” Or “Hey, you know Batman? Yeah, he’s a killer now and then suddenly he’s a third-rate Tony Stark wannabe.” Even better “Hey, you know Flash? Barry Allen Flash? We’re gonna make him Wally West and make him incredibly annoying, because COMEDY!” Thankfully, Wonder Woman got off pretty well. I know nerds like me are the only people who read comic books, but as far as an adaptation is concerned, we want the core basics of the characters to be intact. The DCEU didn’t do that, and a lot of fans jumped ship. Audiences were also alienated, mainly because for Man of Steel and BvS, the heroes weren’t acting like heroes, or people for that matter. I think that covers that whole dilemma, and now, it’s time to wrap everything up.

CONCLUSION

I’m sorry that this episode was as long as it was. I just feel that I needed to go in-depth as to why I felt the way I did and why the DCEU failed. I love superheroes. I’d go as far as to say superhero stories are my favorite kind of stories. I grew up with superheroes, okay, mostly Spider-Man, but still. So I hope you all can understand why I hated the DCEU as much as I did, and why it ultimately failed. I feel like whenever people generalize others who love the MCU and hate the DCEU as them saying “Marvel can do no wrong,” are missing the point. It’s not that we believe Marvel can do no wrong. It’s that we want good representations of the heroes we read and love, so maybe the average Joe can understand why we love these funny books so much. Whatever issues the MCU has can (mostly) be forgiven because the good stuff outweighs the bad. The DCEU, however, has only one good movie to its name and a few droppings of brilliance in an otherwise mediocre DC universe.

Wow, I got really emotional there. I’m sorry for that. It just annoys me when people generalize stuff. I don’t know what the next topic of Hub’s Kitchen will be on, but I can tell you all this: It’s gonna be a hell of a lot shorter than this, that’s for sure. My name’s Hub, and thank you for reading. *Checks Google Drive word count* Over 5,000 words. What the fu-

#hubskitchen

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 7 years

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Halloween Mishap|Chase Brody x Reader

So here’s the first story I’ll post on Tumblr! And it’s a Halloween one, too, featuring Jack’s egos ^^ Tho it’s never too early for Halloween...r-right? OuO Anywho, this was requested by @narutofoxlover and they recommended that I post it here. Hope you all enjoy it~

It was Halloween, your favorite holiday of all time where you'd either go out to costume parties, visit haunted houses, or go Trick-or-Treating with your friends (while dismissing anyone who said you were "too old" to do such things). But this Halloween in particular was different, as you were spending it in Brighton with Jack and his egos, which was actually quite enjoyable to say the least. Most of the day was spent with you all going to a local haunted house (where Jackieboy Man screamed his head off nonstop despite his claims that he was the "bravest"), carving pumpkins (which Anti and Rob enjoyed), and watching classic horror movies (in which Henrik criticized the actors and their choices throughout). All in all, you had a blast, but as the day drew closer to an end, you were wondering what other sort of spookiness awaited you tonight.

"Man..kids are already going out?" You remarked as you looked out the window and saw several Trick-or-Treaters in the streets. "The sun hasn't even gone down all the way yet." "Hmm..maybe they wanna get first dibs on candy," Marvin said while he was practicing some magic tricks. He muttered a spell in what you can only assume was Latin under his breath, and when you turned around, you gasped as you saw a green, wispy, ghoulish figure rise from his palm. He flipped his hand upwards, sending the spirit flying around the room. You and the egos watched in awe, although Jackieboy Man seemed a little terrified. It then descended in front of you. But when you went to touch it, the ghost suddenly dissipated into a thousands tiny skulls, which vanished soon after. A chill swept over you, making you shiver slightly. "W-Wowie...that was awesome, Marv," you told the magician, smiling. Marvin simply shrugged in response. "I'm still working on it....but y'know...I was thinking about opening my own haunted house some time and just having a bunch of ghastly spirits flying about." "Could...Robbie...be in...it..?" The gray zombie asked as he pointed to himself, tilting his head to the side. "Ja," Henrik nodded in agreement, smiling at him. "You'd fit right in! No need to buy silly Halloween decor or hire lame actors vhen ve have you fine gentlemen~!" "Brooooooo that would be sick! You'd make some mad cash off'a that!" Chase laughed as he attempted to toss a teabag into the small bowl of candy that was on the other side of the room. When he made it, he jumped up in excitement and dabbed. "IAMTHEONEDON'TWEIGHATONDON'TNEEDAGUNTOGETRESPECTUPONTHESTREE-" "Jesus flippin' Christ..I'll never get how my own egos can be louder than me.." Glancing over, you saw Jack enter from his recording room, with Anti in tow. It was then you remembered that the pair did a Halloween special together, one that would make the fanbase freak out for sure. "Well, the video's been uploaded," Jack smiled as he turned around to high-five his demonic half. "Great work, dude." "Thanks. Can't wait to see their reactions tomorrow~" He chuckled. "Awww I see a little guy dressed up as Spider-Man," Jackieboy Man cooed as he looked out the window, before frowning slightly and glancing back at you. "Man..now I kinda wanna go out and get some candy, too." "Well..why don't we then?" Marvin suggested. "I mean technically we're already in costumes. You're a superhero, I'm a magician, Henrik is a doctor, Rob is a zombie, and Anti...could pass as a ghoul or something, too. The only ones who really need a costume are [y/n], Chase, and Jack." "Hmm..I zink I'll pass, though," Henrik declined, "I don't vant to go out and zink about all ze poor kids who are gonna have cavities and tummy aches after tonight." He grimaced at the thought. "And I think I'll just sit outside with the candy bowl in my lap an' pretend to be dead," Anti volunteered, a grin appearing on his face. "Then when those little kiddies come by to take some... I'll scare the livin' daylights outta them~" He cackled. You laughed a bit. "Alright..well that could work. Just don't give anybody a heart attack." "No promises." "I..don't really have anything to wear," Chase sighed, before he perked up. "But what I would love to be is a werewolf! They're so cool and ferocious looking!" "They are," you nodded. "But..unfortunately I don't think we'll have time to go out and buy you a cos-" "Then..maybe Marvin can change me into one!!" ".........." All of the egos fell silent as they turned to look at Marvin. "Ah...well..." He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's...possible for me to turn you into a real one, but I don't-" "You can do that???" Chase's eyes lit up as he sprinted over to the magician, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Dude, that would be sick!! Do it!!" Marvin frowned a bit, before sighing and shaking his head. "Chase..I..I don't think you understand. The consequences could be--hey! What are you doing?!" He growled as the ego in the snapback grabbed his spellbook that was on the table. "Put that down!!" "Maybe you got a spell in here or somethin'!" He grinned, taking a step back when Marvin tried to grab his book back before proceeding to open it and flip through the pages. "It's gotta be here somewhere, man....oooooh..this looks like it." "Chase, please, give that back-!" "Eh? Lupino.....Lupinotuum....pec..tinem?" Chase's eyebrows furrowed as he read the two words that were in bold, confused. "What does that mean? Lupinotuum..pectinem..?" "Chase, stop! Don't say it a third-!!" "Why not? It sounds kinda cool. Lupinotuum pectinem-" Suddenly, the pages began to glow, and from them emerged a yellow, ghostly wolf, surrounded by white whisps of smoke. Chase's eyes widened in both shock and amazement, although he shivered a bit as the creature locked eyes with him. Then it raised its head, letting out a quiet howl before leaping out of the book and phasing right into his body. With a gasp, he stumbled back, dropping the book as he clutched his chest in pain. "G-Gah...wh-what was that...? I...I feel like I've been shot through my goddamn chest.." He knees buckled and he fell to the floor. "Oh no...." Marvin muttered as he got up and crouched down in front of Chase, who was starting to writhe in pain. He then sighed, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Chase, listen..it's gonna be okay. Just stay calm and...." His eyes widened behind his mask as he saw that Chase's were now an unusually bright and icy blue. "O-Oh this is bad.." "Wh-What is it..? What's bad...?" "Nothing," the magician shook his head, "you'll be fine as long as there's no full moon right-" "Umm..guys? We may have a tiny problem.." You and the egos glanced over to see Jackieboy Man draw back the curtain, revealing a clouded, full moon in the dark sky. "There's already a-" "AGHH!!!" Looking back, you all gasped in horror as you saw that Chase's fingernails were starting to become long and sharp, along with his teeth. "I-It hurts...EVERYTHING HURTS!!" He screamed, clutching his head in pain. Then he started to hyperventilate. "I-I-I'm scared..I-I don't want th-this anym-G-GAHH!! M-Marv...y-you c-can reverse this somehow, right? Right??" The terrified ego clutched the magician's shoulders, his eyes wide and desperate. "P-Please, y-you gotta stop this bro! PLEASE!!" But once more, Marvin shook his head. "I..I'm sorry, but there's nothin' I can do," he said regrettably. "I haven't worked on a way to reverse the spells...but if it's any reassurance you'll be back to normal by dawn-" "I-I can't wait that long!" Chase whimpered, letting go of him before he scrambled to the corner of the room and curled up into a ball. "I-I fucked up...I-I m-made one dumb mistake. And..a-and now I'm g-gonna turn into a..a-a..." "Chase.." You took a step forward, crouching down in front of him. "It's alright..we're here-" Though when you went to put a hand on his shoulder, he suddenly smacked it away, making you wince in pain. "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" He growled, although he realized what he did and his expression shifted into a remorseful one. "I-I'm so sorry [y/n]...I..I-I..." Tears were now streaming down his face. ".....j-just g-go...leave me....b-before I turn into a goddamn m-monster and hurt any of y-you.." Rubbing your hand a bit, you sighed sadly and stood up, taking a step back. The others, along with Jack, then tried their hand at consoling their fellow ego. Looking back, you realized that the only one who wasn't doing that was Anti. He was still sitting down on the couch, watching the scene unfold before him with a blank expression on his face. You frowned slightly and opened your mouth to scold him for not trying to help. But before you could utter a word, the demon abruptly stood up and walked past you. He brushed past the other egos, giving them a silent message to stand back, before he crouched down in front of Chase, who was now rocking back and forth slightly. "Brody..if there's anyone here that's a true monster...it's me." You all fell silent, shocked, when Anti spoke. For once his voice didn't sound distorted, glitchy, or layered....it was actually....calm and gentle. But all you were quiet as he talked to Chase. "Listen..knowing you...you're..you're not one to hurt anybody. Yer a guy with nothin' but a heart of gold, and that'll still be there even when you turn into a..werewolf." A small, genuine smile appeared on Anti's lips as he put his hand on his shoulder, gently rubbing it. Surprisingly, Chase didn't do anything except listen to his words. "But if it's one thing we're not gonna do, it's abandon ya. Even if ya lost control of yer humanity... we'll still be right here by yer side." Sniffling, Chase looked up at him. There was already dark brown fur appearing on the sides of his face. "Wh-Why do you care?" He frowned. "Af..After everything you-" "Look...I've already shed enough blood....and..." Anti glanced back at you. "Robbie and "ze good doctah" have, too." "Vhat?!" "Hmmm?" "But I'm not gonna let ya follow that same path," his gaze returned to Chase's as he withdrew his hand. "If you're scared....just....think of how after tonight you'll be back to yer old self, how we'll still be here with ya, and how you'll still see yer kids. Just think...happy stuff, Chase, an' you'll be fine." He took in every word that the usually malicious demon spoke, before smiling a bit. "A-Alright..." His nodded, his tears ceasing. "I-I'll try my best....thank you, Anti." Anti's eyes widened in surprise, as he had never been thanked for anything in his life, but he then smiled back and nodded. "You're welc-" *CRACK* "AAGH!!" Gasping, the demon glitched away from Chase, seeing that his painful and agonizing transformation was starting. "Everyone, behind me!" Marvin ordered, quickly snapping his fingers which summoned glowing, green chains that wrapped around Chase's wrists and anchored themselves to the floor. You all watched as he tried to get up, only to collapse to the ground and scream in pain. The sickening popping and cracking noises told you that those were his bones being restructured by the spell. Fur began to coat his body as a bushy tail sprouted from his tailbone. His facial features morphed to resemble those of a wolf while his muscles grew drastically in size, eventually ripping through his shirt and shoes. Surprisingly, his pants and hat still remained on him. After about a minute or so, the transformation was finally over as Chase rose to his feet once more, hunched over, before unleashing out a howl that startled all of you. "M-My G-God.." Henrik muttered, trembling slightly. "Zis is just like zose old verevolf films. Ch-Chase?" He stepped forward cautiously. "A-Are you still zere?" But he immediately stopped when the beast glanced at him, his blue eyes glowing. But he didn't attack him. In fact he seemed rather...calm. Chase then noticed the chains and began to struggle against them, although not aggressively as you were expecting him to. He then stopped and looked back at you, letting out a small whine as his ears drooped slightly. You and the egos exchanged glances, baffled yet relieved that your friend didn't immediately turn into a mindless, bloodthirsty killer. "Chase.." The werewolf glanced over at Marvin, flinching slightly when he saw the frown on his face. He whined again, as though to say he was sorry. The magician then sighed and walked up to him. "It's alright but...I did warn you, didn't I?" Chase bobbed his head up and down in understanding. He then tried to talk, but all that same out was a growl and a couple of grunts, before his black lips curled into what appeared to be a smile. "...uh....did..anyone understand what he's tryin' to say?" Jack asked, confused. "I do," Marvin replied. "He said he believes he can control himself. And..seeing how calm he is-" He snapped his fingers once more, and the chains vanished into thin air. "-I think I can trust him this one time." He looked back and smiled. Your eyes widened in shock, although a wide smile appeared on your face as you walked up to Chase. Then you boldly put your hand up and patted his snout, giggling when you saw his eyes widen. "Yep. He's still our Chase Bro--Hey!" You grimaced as the werewolf suddenly gave you a wet, sloppy kiss with his tongue. Jack and the other egos chuckled in amusement. "Blegh..just like a dog..." Wiping the drool off with your sleeve, you looked back up at Chase and sighed. "Oh boy...what are we gonna do with you now?" "Well...we can always still go Trick-or-Treating," Jackieboy Man suggested as he held up an empty pillowcase. "Just think of all the people that'll be spooked by Chase's "costume"!" He grinned widely. "Hmmm..perhaps we can," Marvin agreed. "We'll just have to keep our eye on him and make sure nobody else knows that he's a legit werewolf." Everyone nodded in agreement, although Jack's eye went wide. "Oh fook! I almost forgot!" "What is it?" You asked him, confused. "You and I still need somethin' to wear," the YouTuber replied, before he turned to you. "C'mon, let's see if I got anythin'. Surely I must." "Ohh that's right. Alrighty then." You began to follow him out of the room, though you looked over your shoulder at the egos. "Make sure he doesn't run off, alright?" Once more they nodded. With a sigh, you and Jack headed out of the room to find a quick Halloween costume or accessory to put on. "Sssoooo sssssofffft..." Turning around, Marvin, Jackieboy Man, Anti, and Henrik stared at Rob, who was hugging Chase with his head buried into his chest. The werewolf was surprised, but he awkwardly patted the top of the zombie's head, before shooting the others a confused look. But they simply shrugged and smiled at the scene. Perhaps... this wasn't such a bad Halloween after all.

#chasebrody #halloween #chase bro average #jacksepticeye

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iffeelscouldkill · 7 years

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Tagged!

Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.

@whelvenwings tagged me (because she is simply the best) to answer some super fun questions so HERE YOU ARE, MY DEAR!

(Also, I didn’t do the 10-questions-and-tag thing because I’m really lazy and I don’t have 10 people to tag xD Maybe later I’ll come back and write some for the 2 people who would do this, but in the meantime, I just wanted to post these)

1. Which fictional character would you most like to be friends with?

Luna Lovegood! Seriously, that girl is amazing and I would love to just be part of her chill, be-your-own-damn-self orbit, and follow her around for random, weird adventures and fight alongside her in Dumbledore's Army and hang out together in Ravenclaw Tower. (Yeah, I'd be a Hufflepuff, but she'd totally sneak me in. Or she could come to the Puff Common Room because literally no-one cares). And I would hit the haters over the head with my wand.

(Also, I would like you to know that this question was *really hard* and some runners-up include: Jim Taylor (Sally Lockhart quartet), River Tam (Firefly), Lyra Silvertongue (His Dark Materials), Sally Sparrow (Doctor Who), Michelle Jones (Spider-Man: Homecoming) and Cecil B. DeVil from Cory Doctorow's Pirate Cinema, so that I could take part in his badass online copyright revolution).

2. Which fictional universe would you most like to be a background character in?

The Marvel Cinematic Universe, because ACTUAL SUPERHEROES! Sure, you might die, but ACTUAL SUPERHEROES! I like to imagine that I might be one of the people who frequents Callahan's Crosstown Diner and just casually runs into SHIELD agents and Avengers doing their thing.

3. If you were a flavour of ice cream, which one would you be?

orange and peach

Haha, not really. Having recently holidayed in Spain and eaten much ice cream while I was there, I'm going to say I'm Kinder Bueno - people think of it as kind of a kiddie flavour (at the ice cream stand we frequented, it was labelled "Junior"); on its own, it's sweet and nice and seems like a kind of boring, safe choice, but combine it with other flavours and it suddenly becomes much more fun and interesting :D

(Oooh, that was unexpectedly deep)

4. What’s a sentence you’ve never written before?

"Nitwit, blubber, ointment, tweak!"

Except now I feel sad that I've never had cause to write that glorious sentence.

5. If you could show me one of your memories, which one would it be?

Hahaha xD I would show you the "How much consume have we sugared?" memory so that we could watch it together and cackle at our dumb sugar-high selves.

OR, I would show you my memory of the Puff Warner Bros studios tour, because I think you would enjoy it!

6. If you had an aura, what colour would it be?

I feel like auras probably aren't one static colour (but then, I don't see auras so HOW WOULD I KNOW) so I think that mine would fluctuate between shades of purple, ranging between a light purple like lilac to a deep bluish purple depending on my mental state.

Short version: purple xD

7. Space or sea?

Seeeeeeea <3

8. What are you most proud of right now?

My Fanlore edits. Even though I haven't worked on a big project on Fanlore in a while, I've been feeling particularly Fanlore-ish lately and I just love everything to do with that site. Every time I make an edit, it's like "Look, I did a thing!" and then I sit and admire it for about half an hour.

9. In the middle of the road, you find what you’ve always been hoping for. What is it?

A remote control to fast forward and rewind time. I've wanted one since I was really little (and genuinely believed that I would be able to find one if I went to Disneyland).

Or maybe a flying dolphin, but the question of what one would be doing in the middle of the road makes me a little sad. Hopefully just waiting for me ^^

10. What’s your favourite word to say out loud?

Plushie <3

pluuussshhhhieeeee

#whelvenwings #tag games #hard questions were hard but I MADE IT THROUGH IN THE END #hope u like!

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robothobo64 · 7 years

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maswartz

Oh yes because the airplane strippers and one night stand in Iron Man were so profound... There’s a difference between a character that’s obivously an adult playboy millionare genius from a comic series that would warrant a more adult approach and a character that’s a freaking teenager from a TV that was aimed at younger audiences. Why would Zordon even LET these guys keep the Power Coins, these trailers have done nothing to convice me they’re nothing more than a bunch of angsty teens who somehow got lucky and found them by chance. What should we now have hedgehog mating jokes in the Sonic live action movie just to poke fun at 06? Mabye we need a new Mario Bros movie that makes drug references with the Mushrooms? It’s okay, it’s trying to be more “ADULT” and “MATURE” than the obviously kiddie writing of it’s source material! And it’s not enough this reeks of trying to be Spider-Man with the whole “accidentally gettinging powers”

#Power Rangers #Power Rangers 2017

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himaboroshi736 · 4 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Morgan Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Pepper Potts Additional Tags: Fainting, Dehydration, heat exhaustion, Zoo, Trip to the Zoo, Peter Parker Whump, Parent Tony Stark, Uncle Happy Hogan, Parent Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), April the giraffe - Freeform, Giraffes, Whump, Fluff, drink your water kiddies, Poor Peter Parker, Humor Series: Part 7 of Day in the life of the Iron Family Summary:

In which Peter faints during a family trip to the zoo.

(Alternate title: Too Hot, Hot Damn)

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ao3feed-stevebucky · 5 years

Text

Disappeared

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2Y1hVso

by chvotic

"Want to come here, sweetie?" Papa asked him, his voice shaking like Daddy's did when he was scared.

"No." Peter replied, resting his forehead on Uncle Clint's neck. His skin was warm. "You kissed Uncle Bucky."

Or, in which, Steve is cheating on Tony with Bucky, and a four-year-old Peter is unfortunate enough to walk in on it.

Words: 3487, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 10 of Kiddie Peter One Shots

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, James "Bucky" Barnes, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Lila Barton, Cooper Barton, Nathaniel Pietro Barton

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Peter Parker, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: Superfamily (Marvel), Superfamily, Kid Peter Parker, Precious Peter Parker, Toddlers, Crying, Children, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Father-Son Relationship, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Awesome Clint Barton, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Cheating, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Time Skips, Teen Peter Parker, brief - Freeform, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sort Of

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2Y1hVso

#ao3feed #steve rogers #bucky barnes #stevebucky #stucky #steve/bucky #stevexbucky #fanfic

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ao3feed-buckybarnes · 5 years

Text

Disappeared

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2Y1hVso

by chvotic

"Want to come here, sweetie?" Papa asked him, his voice shaking like Daddy's did when he was scared.

"No." Peter replied, resting his forehead on Uncle Clint's neck. His skin was warm. "You kissed Uncle Bucky."

Or, in which, Steve is cheating on Tony with Bucky, and a four-year-old Peter is unfortunate enough to walk in on it.

Words: 3487, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 10 of Kiddie Peter One Shots

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, James "Bucky" Barnes, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Lila Barton, Cooper Barton, Nathaniel Pietro Barton

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Peter Parker, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2Y1hVso

#bucky #IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #bucky barnes #james barnes #the winter soldier #james barnes

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ao3feed-clintbarton · 5 years

Link

by chvotic

It fell silent between them for a few moments, Tony's hand having moved up to rest on Steve's, which still lay on his shoulder. Tony was shaking his head, as if he couldn't believe it, continuing to look down at his son as if he were the entire world. Peter meant, from what Steve could see, the literal world to Tony even if he had been there for only a month. It was beautiful to watch, and Steve couldn't help but wonder what would have happened to Tony if he didn't have this child.

Or, in which, Steve is meant to go on his morning jog but finds Tony and his baby in the communal floor.

(this has NO endgame spoilers, you're safe)

Words: 1738, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 9 of Kiddie Peter One Shots

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Major Character Death

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Peter Parker, Clint Barton, Pepper Potts (mentioned)

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Baby Peter Parker, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Parent Tony Stark, Hurt Tony Stark, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Post-Avengers (2012), Timeline What Timeline, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Babies, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, No Endgame Spoilers, Cute Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Father-Son Relationship, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, but stevetony if you squint, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), no civil war, Canonical Character Death

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #clint barton #clint #hawkeye

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smokeybrandreviews · 5 years

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: You’re A Sunflower

I finally got the opportunity to see Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. I was suppose to check it out on Friday but some stuff happened and knocked me back on my heels. I just now got to the point where life feels steady and, fortunately for me, this flick only enriched that sentiment. I mean, if you can’t tell, i loved this movie. It’s pretty good. But how good is it, you might ask? Well, True Believers, let’s get into it!

The Best

Can i just take some time to acknowledge how f*cking gorgeous this movie is? Seriously, just on aesthetic this is a must see. I’ve seen some visually striking films this year, Suspiria is a goddamn feast for the eyes and Aquaman is suppose to be stunning, but this one takes the cake. Spider-Verse is, by far, the most gorgeous film released this year and you’d be doing yourself a disservice not taking that shine in.

The interpersonal relationships in this flick are surprisingly heartwarming. Miles and Pete, Gwen and Miles, Miles and his dad, Aunt May and literally all of the Spiders; They are all endearing and feel genuine. This isn’t a perfect film by any stretch but those relationships go a long way to cover up some it’s more glaring flaws.

All of the little easter egg were delicious. My Spider-Sense was having a goddamn blast spotting all of the nods and nudges, especially all of the shine in the Spider-Cave. Yes, apparently the Pete in Mile’s universe had a Spider-Cave. AND IT WAS AWESOME!!

Okay, so all of the performances were dope. All of the ones that needed to be, were great. Even the supporting Spiders were awesome. I’m a fan of John Mullaney and was still apprehensive about Spider-Ham but he pulled it off. There’s even a little scene where he gets pretty hardbody but there are several standouts which need their own entries.

Shameik Moore as Miles Morales was perfect. Perfect. He took to this role as organic as any of the MCU castings and i was stunned. Miles is the linchpin of this movie. Indeed, the film is at it’s best when he’s on screen and Moore does a brilliant job bringing that character to life.

Yo, i am falling in love with Hailee Steinfeld, man. She is fast becoming one of my actors to watch. Not only do i have palpable anticipation with her performance in Bumblebee, but her take on Spider-Gwen was awesome! Full disclosure, i don’t care for Gwen Stacys but this one? This one is adequate. I’m lying, Steinfeld did the impossible and made me actually like a Gwen Stacy. Seriously, she’s the second best thing in this movie after Miles.

Jake Johnson as Hobo Spider-Man was pretty cool, too. I mean, i already adore Johnson. Dude is hilarious on New Girl and was the one bright spot in that god awful Mummy but this is probably the most natural i’ve ever seen him. Dude might have a career in voice acting is regular acting craps out on him.

I would be remiss not to specifically mention the glorious re-imagining of Olivia Octavious, this film’s Doc Ock. Ma was sinister, and vicious, and hilarious, and gorgeous, and just perfect. I loved this character and Kathryn Hahn gets all credit for making that happen. Seriously, of all the villains in this thing, and there are many, she was the best and deserved much more screen time.

Seriously, the cast in this thing was brilliant! Easily the best of the year! side from those four, you got Liev Schriber, Greta Lee, Nic Cage, Zoe Kravits, f*cking Mahershala Ali, Chris Pine, f*cking Oscar Isaac, Lily Tomlin, Bryan Tyree Henry, Lake Bell, and even Post Malone is in here a little bit. Bro, this sh*t is stacked!

The Good

The plot itself is a little generic. Sony is bad at that in general, which is odd. They use to do very well with films but, lately, they’ve been trash. Just throwing money at anything to see what sticks to the wall, i guess. No pun intended. The narrative of this film feels early 90s Superhero flick, like Steel or one of the Schumacher Batmans but it works for this type of movie. It feels like a cartoon because it’s a cartoon. While i like a little more bite in my three acts, i wasn’t mad with what i got here. It works, keeps thing accessible to newbs, and doesn’t clutter sh*t up so the kiddies can follow along.

Yo, this soundtrack is kind of amazing. it feels mad organic to the style of film making on hand. I’ve heard that some critics found the music choice in certain scenes to be a little jarring or out of place, but considering this is a film about a half black-half Puerto African kid, living in Brooklyn,i think it hits exactly the notes it needs to. It’s not American Gangster or Black Panther, but it’s still pretty good.

The Okay

Kingpin was mad underwhelming as the big bad. Seriously, i touched upon this in The Best, but this version of Doc Ock was f*cking amazing and should have been the primary villain. She should have been using Kingpin for his resources, preying on his insecurities, advancing her own agendas with every intention of a double-cross. Cliche, i know, but she was just SO great in that villain role.

Speaking off, the antagonists didn’t get enough time to develop into anything substantial. I gush about Olivia but i legit could have spent a ton more time with here and not complained at all. The only really villain to get enough characterization was the Prowler, but that was almost a certain, given this is a Miles Morales origin story. I think Tombstone was in this as well as a version of Scorpion, but they were just fodder for the fights, nothing more; I would have liked to have delved more into their characters.

You know what, while i’m thinking about it, it kind of feels like none of the supporting characters got enough time to shine, either. Aunt May was shafted! And she was amazing! There was next to no MJ, which is a TRAVESTY on the highest order! Mile’s pops had some decent moments but even his shine seemed to be a little dull in the grand scheme of things. I guess that’s what sequels are for...

This movie is obviously a set-up film for future outings in this universe and, if i’m not mistaken, there’s already two sequels in the works; a direct one for Mile’s story where that adorable romance between he and Gwen will be expanded upon into her on film? i think i read somewhere that Spider-Girls was going to be a thing? I’m good with that. If we f*ck around and get Mayday in one these, i’ll squeal like a pig! Even with all of the Horse-before-carriage nonsense, it’s not super detracting from this movie. It all feels organic, for the most part. Not like BvS or the like. That sh*t was real sad, man...

The Verdict

If you can’t tell, i adored this film. It’s easily top three of the year for me. Probably Suspiria, Hereditary, then this. I know, that juxtaposition is wild but i think it deserves it. There was just so much heart in this movie. It reads genuine to who Miles Morales is as a character outside of the suit and as his version of Spider-Man. It has an all-star cast, with a few standout supporting roles, and the visual presentations is just breathtaking. Seriously, Sony is right to try and copyright this style of animation because it really is just that good. There are issues, underdeveloped characters, a flaccid big-bad, mild pacing hiccups here and there, and a very obvious priority to set up a universe but, the thing is, these gripes are relatively small. Sony is most definitely going to expand upon this universe, something that they should do as a means to standout from Marvel and what they’re doing while simultaneously maximizing profits. The MCU is a singular, contained world but Into The Spider-Verse bust s out with infinite possibilities for Sony to play with and it does it in a wildly entertaining fashion. I highly recommend checking this thing out, It was areal treat and i look forward to what’s next for these characters.

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