Tumgik
#kik interactive
wine-dark-soup · 2 years
Text
i'm gonna write it once and for all but it's not a fandom blog. i have no interest in shipping, i am not involved in the creation of any derivative art, i don't care about canon vs non canon discourse or any other form of fandom discourse. sometimes i make jokes about what just happened to me in a video game. sometimes i reblog a gifset or a fanart that's pretty. that's all and i thank the artists who are probably actively participating in the corresponding fandom for that.
but i am NOT myself participating in fandom culture please stop thinking i'm attacking your headcanon by making a post that's about a character/a part of the lore you like, I DON'T KNOW YOU, and just like your headcanon is FOR YOU first, my posts are for ME first and if you think i endanger you (when i CAN'T KNOW what you think!) by joking about a character's line that goes against your headcanon i think it's a you problem.
5 notes · View notes
just-your-average-cat · 5 months
Text
why do you as a man in your 30s have a snapchat
0 notes
erensangel444 · 2 years
Text
you’re my bestfriend
please dni if not 18+ thank u! eren jaeger x reader
modern!au
this blurb is eren x fem!reader, if you guys would want to see some gender neutral fics just let me know in my asks inbox! i’m open to any suggestions, if you want a fic that’s specifically tailored to you whether that be race-wise, gender-wise, any disabilities, etc,. just let me know!
likes/reblogs/comments are always appreciated:D
this blurb has been proofread but if i missed something just let me know!
a/n: this fic is basically the embodiment of my deepest desires. i will never get over slow burn friends to lovers trope. especially like when they like started as childhood friends and grew with each other like i will actually start sobbing.
A/N after finishing: this may be my favorite fic i’ve ever written
side note: i originally had eren driving an audi r8 but him driving a pick up truck is a very necessary part of the fic n you’ll see why :D
warnings: language, alcohol consumption, drug use(just weed), smut [slight breeding kink, creampie, oral f!receiving]
word count: 13.9k words
summary: love can only be ignored for so long.
Tumblr media
eren loves telling the story of how the two of you became such good friends. and he doesn’t love telling it because it’s such a heartwarming story. he just loves to see how you get all
embarrassed. 
eren always starts the story the same, regardless of his audience: “flashback, nine years...” 
eren can’t recall every explicit detail from middle school, but he can remember the sheer awkwardness of being 12. eren knows he was a bit of a nerd in middle school, constantly watching minecraft building tutorials, and still playing with action figures( he’d take that one to his grave, though).
that’s why eren’s first interaction with you was completely new territory. obviously eren knew girls were like....a thing, but he had never really talked to any besides mikasa. he’d had small crushes, but he never confessed, too scared of being rejected. 
but, you, you were a weird one. too intriguing for him to ignore. he really hadn’t ever noticed you before you had sent him that first message. his mom had finally allowed him to get kik, after putting up with his incessant begging for months. 
he felt so cool getting the app that was such big talk around school. after watching tutorials, he could finally work it properly and was messaging back with armin and mikasa constantly. 
eren can easily recall that fateful day that the kik notification flashed across his screen. he figured it was a message from mikasa, or a funny minecraft meme from armin, and he grabbed his phone with giddy excitement. 
to find a message from, you. eren had cocked his head in slight confusion. you and eren had never talked before. sure, you sat two rows to the front and three seats to the left of him in history, but you’d never held an actual conversation before. 
eren could feeling himself getting nervous now, his finger inching towards your message. 
every time eren tells this story, he makes sure to include this next part: “i swear to god i let out an actual gasp when i read the message. i think y/n ruined my innocence,” and it is always followed with your “fuck off” being shouted from somewhere in the room. 
the impending message of anticipation, of doom, read, 
hey papi >0<
eren just sat for a moment, staring at his screen before wondering if he should ask armin for advice. papi? what is that supposed to mean?
after three minutes of contemplation, eren figured he could handle this one on his own. he carefully constructed his response before hitting send, 
umm hi?
eren felt a strange sense of triumph. his first ever message to a girl. he thinks he handled it pretty well. 
you were quickly responding, and that washed away eren’s triumph with more nerves. 
lmao it was a dare from my friend
oh. you had probably only texted eren to tease him. he felt the butterflies in his stomach turn into clumps as he typed back his reply. 
oh haha which friend?
he waited eagerly for you reply.
her name’s lily, she lives in texas, but we’re playing minecraft together :3
eren would’ve never taken you as someone who like video games. his little heart couldn’t take how fast it was beating. eren didn’t know what else to say besides, 
oh i see
god, why was he so stupid? he could’ve said he liked minecraft too, he could’ve kept the conversation going. instead, it reached its inevitable end, your simple reply being,
yep
fuck, he’d scared you away, hadn’t he? eren put his hand over his mouth quickly. that was the first time he’d ever cursed. 
you were bringing out the worst in him. 
he threw his phone on his bed before putting his head in his hands with a whine fit for a 12 year old boy.
Tumblr media
the next time eren had talked to you was at the end of the year school dance. 
unbeknownst to him, you had mutual friends, or a mutual friend, mikasa. she had gone with a group of girls to the dance, claiming she didn’t want to be stuck around “you two bozos all night,” in reference to eren and armin.
eren can vividly remember this next moment, even with the strobe lights blinding his vision. he remembers mikasa trying to push you into him in an anything-but-subtle manner. 
he remembers the faint smell of your shampoo. apples? it suited you. 
and he remembers how quickly you scurried away from him with a small, “sorry!”.
he remembers feeling like he grossed you out. 
and most importantly, he remembers the joy he got when he saw your message that night before bed. 
sorry about tonight. it must of made you uncomfortable with mikasa pushing me into you. 
you were much more formal in this message, and overly apologetic, eren thought. you had no reason to be sorry, it wasn’t your fault. he wanted to talk to the same person he had talked to those 2 months ago. 
haha it’s alright it was pretty crowded in there anyways
would the ‘haha’ be enough? eren was visibily stressed, gnawing on his bottom lip as he waited for you to message back.
thanks for understanding sorry again eren
had he read that right. did you type out his name? why’d it look so pretty in your message? it had never looked like that before. 
eren fell asleep imagining his name falling from your lips.
Tumblr media
though eren can recall those specific memories easily, he can’t trace back to an exact moment in which the two of you declared your friendship. he remembers the first time you hung out, the two of you with mikasa, armin, sasha, connie, and jean. 
he remembers watching you play guitar hero and thinking you were so fucking cool. he can also remember the jealously that began brewing in his chest when he watched how comfortably you spoke to jean. 
the two of you didn’t talk much that night besides eren handing you a piece of pizza on a plate. your smile and soft ‘thank you’ made his heart feel like he was about to have a stroke. 
he couldn’t have gone home happier.
Tumblr media
eren doesn’t know if his romantic feelings for you just disappeared over time. he doesn’t think they did. he knows they didn’t.
eren would describe his feelings for you as coming in waves. some days the tide would be strong, and on others, it would barely brush the shoreline. 
as your relationship began to gradually progress and as you became closer friends, eren found no room for his romantic feelings. he didn’t want to risk losing what he was so gracious to even have. your friendship was better than nothing. 
that fear of rejection always found a way of creeping back in. 
and here you were now, 21, in a random living room with his basketball team and some of your friends, and he was telling this exact story. 
though, as he told this story, and as he had in the many retellings before, he was leaving out the most fundamental part. 
eren still loved you. 
he attempted to convince himself that it was merely platonic. 
that did not work. 
so, he ended up concluding that he could ignore what he felt for you. he could try to. 
he remembers having a serious girlfriend in highschool, and at the beginning of their relationship, eren remembers wishing you were jealous.
but, you weren’t. you supported him and cheered him on. you even congratulated him on dating someone so pretty, your exact words being, “what’s she doing with you, she could do so much better, give her my number!”
after that relationship ended, eren’s feelings for you were only magnified. he would never tell you this, but it ended because his girlfriend knew he was in love with you. 
he thinks that he did love her, she was kind to him, and pretty.
but she wasn’t you. 
and for all his relationships thereafter, he found himself holding every romantic partner to the standards at which he regarded you, and no one lived up to those. this led to eren’s slew of pointless hookups and his renowned title as a “playboy.”
eren could be in a relationship if he wanted to. hell, he was captain of his college’s basketball team, and though he broke some hearts, it was never intentional.
he felt bad because he’d never intended to hurt anyone. eren had always been straightforward with his intentions, and had never made any promises that he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep. 
he just simply didn’t want a relationship if it wasn’t with you. 
and as he sipped his beer, and listened to his teammate make some joke, his eyes gravitated towards you, like they always did. you were talking to some girl from your chem class that you had invited. she had been quiet for most of the party, rarely chirping in during conversation.
that’s another thing, eren thinks that his love for you is also fueled by admiration. you’re so friendly, and people gravitate towards you, even though you deny it. eren’s always found it difficult to blend in, but you make it so easy for everyone around you.
and as he watched you smile and hold a stupid conversation, he could visibly see how the girl relaxed. you made people comfortable. you made him comfortable. 
you could feel his eyes on you, and you turned to him, smiling cheekily before turning back to your friend.
you were going to be the death of him. 
Tumblr media
“ren’, come on, you can’t smoke in here,” you chastised eren before turning back to your chemistry textbook. 
“come on angel,” eren muttered around the joint in his mouth, “there’s a reason there’s these private study rooms, and for me, personally, in order to study i need some recreational motivation.”
eren cast his signature grin towards you before bringing the lighter towards his joint. “eren s’gonna smell,” you warned, to which he simply shrugged his shoulders. 
“at least open the window,” you begged, trying to focus on your work. 
“fine, don’t get your panties in a twist,” eren puffed out after inhaling. he walked over to the window, fumbling with the latch for a minute, muttering a ‘fuck’ and ‘why would they make this so fuckin’ difficult’ before he finally got it open. 
eren sat on the ledge, his legs dangling out of the window. “s’nice out today,” he hummed thoughtfully. upon your lack of reply, eren turned around to look at you. your eyes were slightly squinted as you tried to make more sense of the words on the page. you were muttering to yourself, which eren found rather endearing, might he add. 
“we should go to the beach,” he said, still looking at you. you looked up at him, raising your eyebrows, “eren,” you sighed. “c’mon,” he pleaded softly, his feet back on the ground of the study room. 
“you study so much, you should take a break,” eren reasoned, coming up behind your chair now. his hands found their way to your shoulders, making you suck in a sharp breath that you hoped wasn’t noticeable.
“y/n, i can literally feel the knots forming in your back already, you’re gonna be like dead by 40.”
he was massaging your shoulders as he continued to ramble. you let his smell invade your senses, the woody scent of his cologne, the hint of weed from the joint he had just smoked, and something like a sweet cinnamon smell. 
“y’know you needa fix your posture,” eren teased, his hands falling from your shoulders. “oh fuck off,” you laughed softly before closing your textbook. 
you didn’t miss the excitement that lit up in eren’s eyes at the small action. “let’s go, ren’,” you groaned softly, attempting to mask your own joy as you began packing up your school items. 
“yes, fuck yes!” eren grinned, grabbing his backpack that had yet to be unpacked for the entirety of the study session. 
Tumblr media
you honestly don’t know how eren convinced you to do half of the things that he did. for example, this moment right now. 
you had made it to the beach, and you and eren laid on a beach towel as the sun set. he ended up laying his head in your lap, which prompted him to force you to braid his hair. 
he was rather demanding, and you told him as such, “i’m so surprised you’re not an only child,” to which eren scoffed and attempted to head butt your stomach, which only resulted in a slap to the forehead from you.
“ow!”
but that was an hour ago. now, you and eren were in the water, the both of you stripped down to your underwear. you were thankful that you had decided to wear a bra today, otherwise your bare tits and eren would have had an unlikely meeting. 
he had somehow convinced you to go swimming, even though you tried to rationalize, “we don’t have swimsuits,” to which eren replied, “underwear, swimsuits, same thing.”
and he wasn’t necessarily wrong, but you wish he would’ve been. the water was cold, and yet you, you were anything but freezing. 
in fact, you felt extremely hot, your face burning under the intensity of eren’s gaze.
it almost felt too cliche, the way you felt drawn to eren in that moment. he must of felt it too, because almost subconsciously, the two of you started to navigate closer to each other.
your faces were inches apart, your lips so close to brushing when eren whispered, “eyelash,” his thumb brushing across your cheek. that fucking asshole. 
you couldn’t help the visible pout that made its way onto your face, eren softly laughing, “what’s the matter?” you chose to respond with actions rather than words, splashing eren with water. 
“oh you’re dead,” he grinned, wading over to you now. you attempted to turn and run, looking back at him over your shoulder, but the water slowed your movements. “ren’, no! eren, eren no please!” you were laughing around your words as eren lifted you over his shoulder.
“did it to yourself, princess,” you swore you felt him softly slap your ass before he was dunking you underwater. 
you came back up wiping at your eyes and coughing softly. “i’m gonna stab you one day, jaeger,” 
“i’d love to see you try.”
Tumblr media
“where’d you go?” eren whisper-shouted into your ear, the bass of the song playing was vibrating the walls of the living room.
“had to piss,” you yelled back, eren laughing softly. “wanna dance?” eren asked, his voice muted slightly by the music. you just nodded with a grin, grabbing eren’s hands and dragging him through the mass of bodies. 
soon after you had made your way to the center of the poorly-coordinated mosh pit, sky by playboi carti started playing. you turned to eren, mouth open in an o, eren grinning at your silly expression. 
you were close to each other, but that wasn’t that weird considering the other bodies pushing up against yours. you and eren began rapping the lyrics to one another, eren doing silly hand movements in front of your face causing you to laugh around the lyrics. 
“she my bestfriend, yeah we not a couple,” eren’s arms were linking around your lower back now, pulling you closer to him as he continued singing the lyrics. 
and you were attempting to be playful back, but you couldn’t really focus when you could smell his cologne, feel his stare and that annoying fucking smirk. you attempted to mask your flustered state with a light-hearted contempt. 
eventually, the song ended and eren’s hand was falling to your hip, pulling you closer to him so that he could whisper in your ear. “you wan’ a refill?” he half-shouted over the music, to which you nodded, grabbing eren’s hand and dragging him towards the kitchen.
as the music and noise became muffled behind the kitchen walls, you were reaching into the bucket full of ice and grabbing two smirnoffs for you and eren. there were a few other people scattered throughout the kitchen as you turned around to hand eren one of the bottles. you leaned back against the countertop, watching eren pop his bottle open with his teeth. 
he handed the bottle to you, grabbing the one from your hands, the brush of your fingers against his doing something to your heart that it should not have. 
eren grinned at you after popping the cap off his bottle, taking a swig. “wonder where sash’ and connie went,” you said absentmindedly, sipping on your drink. “if i had to take a guess, sasha is in the pantry and con’ is probably trying to hold her back.”
you laughed softly, smiling at eren but before you could bounce off his joke with your own, someone was yelling, “body shots!”
once the words registered in eren’s head, he was giving you that cheeky smile, grabbing your hand and dragging you towards the center of the kitchen. people had begun filtering in from the other rooms of the fraternity house as jean began setting down shot glasses, limes, salt, and tequila on the kitchen table. 
jean stood on a chair, a couple whistles and ‘woops’ sounding out for him as he began talking, “as president of this lovely chapter of sigma alpha, it’s my job to carry on one of our most faithful traditions,” he got more whistles at that, his fraternity brothers cheering him on. what odd specimen. 
“and, you all came here tonight for some fun, yeah?” the huddled crowd got louder at that. “then without further ado,” jean huffed, hopping down from his chair, “can i get a pretty volunteer up here?”
girls began pushing their way past each other, and so much for wondering where sasha was. there she appeared next to you, a donut in hand. “you should do it,” she mumbled around a mouthful, pushing you towards the front of the crowd. 
eren opened his mouth in rebuttal, but you were already at the front, lined up beside fourteen other girls. jean smiled when he saw you make your way into the line, beginning his presidential speech once more, “now ladies, thank you for your dutiful service,” laughs filled the room at his small joke, “but it seems i’ll only need one volunteer.”
he began walking along the line with murmurs of “who to pick, choices, choices.” you knew jean was fucking with you, he knew you best out of all these girls and if he was being honest with himself, he’d been dying to get with you.
that task proved to be difficult, though, with eren as your guard dog. 
now was his chance. 
making his way down the line once more, he stopped in front of you, “now what’s your name?” jean teased, grinning at you. “y/n,” you said simply, “and yours?” the crowd oooo’ed at that, and you could hear eren’s laugh behind you.
“feisty, i like it,” “oh fuck off kirstein,” you laughed, brushing past him to sit atop the table. you began pouring tequila into one of the shot glasses before sitting back on your arms. 
“are you gonna do it?” you grinned at jean, his eyes glinting with something unreadable as he smirked at you, “or do you not have the balls?” once more the crowd was hollering at your response, and jean was making his way over the table with a new determination.
he softly grabbed at your shoulder, pushing you to lay down flat on the table, your legs dangling off the edge. he grabbed a lime, chuckling around a husk, “open,” before placing the lime in your mouth.
he began sprinkling salt on the dip of your cleavage, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “tryna’ embarass me in front of everyone, huh?” a soft laugh falling from his lips as he grabbed the shot of tequila. 
“to y/n!” jean shouted, the crowd falling in close pursuit, cheering as jean downed the shot of tequila. he was quickly leaning to lick the salt off of your body, the heat of his tongue shocking your system.
and then before you could even recover, his lips were on yours as he sucked the lime from your mouth and into his. he lingered for a moment longer, leaning up and spitting out the lime as he raised his arms with a smile.
his frat brothers came up behind him quickly, patting him on the back, and putting him in a chokehold. you sat up with a soft laugh, looking around the kitchen for eren. yet, he was already walking over to you, looking somewhat, angry?
eren was clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth with a ‘tsk tsk tsk’ before turning to jean with a cocky grin. “it can’t be over yet, can it, pres?” 
he was walking over to you now, grabbing the tequila bottle of the table. “yeah body shots are fun,” the whole crowd was intrigued by eren now, he was radiating an aura that was captivating everyone’s attention, “but i like something more...nasty, so to speak.” 
“open,” was all he said before bringing the bottle up to his lips, and taking a swig. you obeyed his command without even realizing, and his hand was wrapping around your neck and pulling you closer to him. 
you felt it before eren’s actions registered, the liquid from his mouth falling into yours. his lips brushed against yours for the slightest second before he pulled back with a grin. the alcohol was overwhelming your senses, but even so, you could taste the faintness of cinnamon from the mints that eren was constantly chewing. 
“now swallow,” he hummed, gripping your neck a little tighter so that he could feel the liquid travel down your throat. “now how’s that for a shot?” he teased, turning back to the dumbfounded crowd. 
the room was quickly full of roars and cheers, eren grabbing your hand and dragging you back to the center of the floor. the crowd was quick to follow, everyone dancing once more as eren pulled you against him. 
you were too hazed to worry if he could feel the quickness of your heart beat, too comfortable with eren’s hands on your hips, pushing you further against him. 
he was leaning down to your ear now, whispering something, his voice traveling straight down your body, “much better than horseface, huh, angel?”
Tumblr media
you don’t know how or what god you have to thank for it, but you and eren somehow made it back to your shared apartment. eren was rummaging through the fridge as you sat on one of the stools at the countertop, your head in your hands as you groaned slightly.
eren was humming trademark usa by baby keem, that being the last song played before you and eren had eventually decided to bid everyone farewell. and somehow, drunk of your asses, the two of you had made it back home.
“wanagrilledcheese?” eren mumbled quickly, grabbing the cheese out of the fridge. “huh?” you laughed softly, eren laughing at the sound of yours.
“do...you...want....a....grilled....cheese?” eren said very slowly, grinning all the while. “yes.....i.....do.....thank....you,” you mocked, hopping off the stool with a slight wobble and making your way into the kitchen, over to eren.
“you forgot the butter,” you jokingly chastised, grabbing some from the fridge and handing it to eren. “how could i?” he joked back, placing his hand over his heart with a ‘shocked’ expression.
you laid your head on the arm eren wasn’t using, watching him cut the butter and place the slice into the pan, the heat causing it to sizzle and bubble.
eventually he was placing the bread in and laying cheese and bread on top of the slice. “this is gonna be so good,” eren hummed mindlessly, to which you nodded in agreement. 
you grabbed the chocolate milk from the fridge, the one that eren had insisted on getting the last time you were at the grocery store(though you swear he doesn’t even drink it).
you poured two glasses for you and eren , bringing them to the kitchen table and sitting down. before too long, eren was in front of you with two plates, sitting in the chair beside you.
after taking a bite, you turned to eren with a closed-mouth grin, chewing on the grilled cheese. 
no joke, you were pretty sure this was the best grilled cheese you’d had in your life. 
or maybe you were just drunk.
either way, you were thanking eren endlessly to which he replied, “i know, i know,” jokingly patting himself on the back. 
the two of you continue eating as you told eren about connie jumping off the roof and into the pool, “i looked away for like one second and that happens!” he sighs, exasperated, causing you to laugh softly, “it was so fucking funny ren’! you shoulda’ seen his face.”
laughter was mixed in with mouthfuls of cheese and bread, and sips of chocolate milk. 
Tumblr media
why are headaches a thing? 
that is the question you found yourself asking at 1:18 PM. the pounding in your head was incessant, and may have been unbearable, if not for the way eren’s arm wrapped around your stomach.
he drew you closer to him in his sleep, nuzzling his nose into your neck with a deep exhale. “g’morning,” he spoke, his voice gravely. oh, so he was awake, and yet, that was not stopping him from pressing his body against yours.
you tried to ignore it, to quell the flippant pattern of your heart beat. “morning, ren’,” you said softly.
you both laid there for a few moments, neither of you wanting to move. after attempting to slow the quickening pace of your heart, and albeit reluctantly, you went to shuffle out of bed.
“no, come back,” eren grumbled, gripping tighter on your midsection. you turned over to face him, laughing softly at him as he squinted his eyes, “ren’, we have to get up eventually.”
“10 minutes,” eren mumbled, settling his head on your chest, barely above your breasts. there came your heart again, beating like nobody’s business. you’re pretty sure eren is this close to sending you into cardiac arrest.
“heart’s beating s’fast,” eren teased softly, “yeah cause you’re like a fucking furnance, feel like i’m gonna die of heat stroke,” you scoffed, attempting to mask your flustered state.
“a furnance? what are you 80?” eren said, voice still slightly husk as he looked up at you with an amused expression. 
“that’s my final straw, i’m getting up” you laughed softly, moving to get out of bed. “no, i was just playing,” eren whined, chuckling softly as he watched you slip on your his slippers. 
he remembers when you gave him those as a small part to his more than extravagant birthday present.
“these are for you!” eren couldn’t help but grin at how happy you looked, grabbing the shoe box from your hand.
he grabbed the tissue paper quickly discarding it to the side to see fur slippers. he looked up with an arched brow, confusion and humor on his face.
“just a way to make sure i don’t have to see your dogs 24/7!″
“my toes are beautiful and you know it, y/n,”
eren watched you grab your phone from its charging port across the room, and the way you all too comfortably grabbed a hoodie from his drawer. “are you gonna make breakfast or what?” eren said, sitting up in bed now, back against the headboard. 
you turned to him, grabbing one of his shirts off the floor and tossing it at him. “now, you know damn well how my hangover routine goes,” eren laughing softly at your tone.
“yeah, yeah, i know, starbucks and you forcing me to drive,” 
“well if you know, come on then, damn.”
Tumblr media
“i swear to god i’m never drinking again,” you groaned from the passenger seat, you and eren waiting in the starbucks line.
“you say that every time, and then end up going out that same night,” eren turned to you smirking.
“i better not be sensing judgement from the one and only, jaeger bomb”
“that was one time!” eren huffed, causing you to laugh softly.
you tease him about that constantly. the two of you had been out at one of jean’s parties, and jean’s fraternity brothers had come up to eren, begging him to join their frat. “come on, jaeger-bomb”--this for real happened, by the way--“we need you as our alpha.”
upon hearing your laughter, eren’s cheeks flushed a bright red as he knew you’d never let that one go. 
and here you are, cracking up in the passenger seat of his two-seater truck as though you’re the funniest person in the world.
“fuck off,” he scoffed, laughing softly as he pulled up to order. you were about to tell him what to get you, but he was one step ahead of you, “can i get a grilled cheese, and a mocha frap with no whip. oh and also an iced matcha latte?”
you smiled at the fact that he knew your order by heart now. not that it surprised you, because you guys spent so much time together, but it just felt good. safe.
“that’ll be 17.35,″ snapped you out of it as eren thanked the barista and pulled forward. you watched him pull out his card, despite your argument with your own card in your hand. eren handed you your food and drink before bringing one hand back to the steering wheel and pulling out of the drive-thru line.
you ate your grilled cheese in quiet happiness, eren turning to look at you every so often, smiling at the tranquil expression on your face.
Tumblr media
okay, so maybe eren was right. you did have a tendency to complain about hangovers and then go out and get drunk the very same night. for example, tonight. you couldn’t reject sasha’s invitation to karaoke, and as you always did, you dragged eren along with you. 
as you scrolled through the karaoke list, the vodka thrumming in your system so sweetly, you were perfectly content in your dazed state. sasha squealed pulling you from your mind fart as she tapped incessantly on your shoulder.
“they have take a hint, we have to do it!” she exclaimed, and upon her words registering, you were sharing that same excitement. eren was simply reclined on the comfy sofa of the karaoke room booth, watching you with a hint of amusement.
somehow, you and sasha managed to scramble on stage with two mics as the music began. you started to jokingly strut around one another as the music began playing as sasha started singing tori’s line.
the song ended with some squeaky high-notes and less-than-par dance moves, but eren couldn’t help but grin from his seat as he watched you move around the stage, all care-free and pretty. 
Tumblr media
“you know my mom gave me this recipe,” eren hummed around the spoon, tasting the pasta sauce. “needs some more basil,” he muttered under his breath, reaching into the spice cabinet. 
“i remember her making it for us before homecoming, you remember that?” you laughed softly at the memory, eren joining in.
it was your freshman year homecoming, and you were very much still in your awkward phase, as was eren. you wore a sparkly, poofy, yellow dress, and eren matched in a poorly-fitting black suit, with a yellow spongebob tie.
after pictures with armin and mikasa, you and eren went back to his house, where his mom was making her infamous rotini pasta. you still remember eren spilling some on his suit, and the mouthful he got from carla.
“god,” eren sighed around a soft chuckle, “she was so mad at me for spilling it on myself.” 
“well she did say like 5 times to be careful while you eat.” 
“you know she’s not here right now, you don’t have to be a kiss ass.”
you hit eren in his arm softly, smiling up at him as he continued to stir the pasta sauce. he lifted the spoon from the pan, bringing it close to your lips with a small, “here try some.”
you were all too quick to obedience, opening your mouth in a small ‘o’. eren put the spoon into your mouth, the basil from the sauce instantly flooding your senses. you were staring up at eren as he said softly, “is it good?” 
“mhm,” you hummed around the spoon, feeling your cheeks flush with heat. he pulled the spoon away, albeit reluctantly, the both of you still looking at one another. 
you broke the tension by clearing your throat and declaring, “i think we need some wine, yeah?”
Tumblr media
two glasses in and you were already feeling it. you weren’t a lightweight usually, but wine just made you feel...carefree, so to speak. 
and unbeknownst to you, eren was feeling similar. 
“have you ever been in love?” eren asked, out of the blue, the two of you sitting curled up on the couch, your plates from dinner sitting on the coffee table. 
“i don’t know,” you hummed softly before continuing, “i think that’s an answer in itself, y’know? like, if i had ever been in love, i’d know what that felt like and could give a for-sure answer.”
eren hummed, nodding, the two of you growing quiet.
“have you?” you asked, eren looking up from the rim of his wine glass as he took a sip. 
“have i what?” “been in love.”
“oh,” eren said, almost surprised, “i don’t know.”
you both laughed softly at that, “i don’t think i know what love really is, so i can’t define whether or not i’ve been in love.”
“i agree,” you spoke, your voice gentle, “but you’ve felt platonic love, you know with your mom, your friends, with me.”
eren had to contain a laugh from slipping out at that last one. platonic love, for you? what a joke. instead of laughing he just agreed with a “mhm.”
“don’t know if i’m cut out for anything more than platonic love, if i’m being honest,” you continued, the wine slowly, but surely, chipping away at your filter. 
“why do you say that?” eren said, eager to know the answer. 
you sighed softly, tracing your finger along the rim of the wine glass as you spoke softly, “being in love, you know real love, means showing people the worst parts of you. it means being vulnerable, and i-” you choke up for a moment, quickly clearing your throat in an attempt at a recovery, “i can’t do that.”
“but you can,” eren said seriously, moving closer to you, his knee nudging against yours. “you’re vulnerable with me, i’ve seen you, i know you, what’s to say you can’t do that with,” this next part pained him to say, “s-somebody else?”
“i’m only vulnerable cause, cause it’s you ren’, don’t wanna be that way with anyone else.”
fuck, you’re trying to kill him.
you both fell silent for a moment before eren looked over at you, he had never seen you look so....embarrassed. “well it’s the same for me,” he said softly. god, he sounded like a 12 year old all over again. 
“i’m only this way with you.” he finished, looking down at his wine glass.
the two of you smiled at each other, taking sips from your wine as the melodies of otis redding continued playing in the background. 
Tumblr media
since the start of highschool, it’s been tradition within your friend group to spend the first days of spring break in jean’s dad’s cabin. mikasa, ymir, historia, annie, and armin had gone down a day earlier since they had finished their finals before everyone else. 
the cabin was about 2 hours from paradis, and the car ride usually consisted of jean and connie fighting over who was on aux, until one subsided. this time, jean was the one to lose but not without going on tangent.
“fine con’ go ahead n be a fuckin’ dipshit and play some fuckin’ horrible music for the rest of the car ride, go ahead, i don’ care, even though i’m fucking driving so, i should have aux, but whatever, s’fine,” you swore you felt the car swerve as jean ranted.
the top was off of jean’s red convertible. the wind was brushing against your face, causing your eyes to water. connie was in the passenger seat, and you were sat in the middle of the backseat between sasha and eren.
you turned over to look at eren, who was admiring the scene passing by him. the pretty brown wisps of hair that had come down to frame his face were blowing from the breeze. he turned to look over at you, catching you staring, to which he raised one eyebrow with a genuine smile. 
you simply just turned back to look straight ahead, laughing softly. eventually the city subsided into a beautiful forest with large sequoia trees. the roads began to curve a little more and you couldn’t help but look up at the trees towering over you.
california love came on shuffle through the car stereo, connie wooping loudly before singing, terribly by the way, off-key, “california looooovee!” you all laughed softly, joining in as you began rapping along to the song. 
unbeknownst to you, eren had yet to look away from your face. he watched your pretty lips form the lyrics, and the silly expressions you made as you mindlessly sang along. 
you are so fucking pretty.
Tumblr media
the rest of the group greeted you outside, jean parking his car in front of the house in the large circular driveway. he was so fucking rich that it was actually mind-blowing if you stopped to think about it. 
mikasa and armin came up to you and eren, giving you both big hugs. armin offered to carry your bags in for you, but eren quickly said “there’s no need,” and grabbed your bags along with his. 
you followed mikasa into the house and up the stairs as she led eren to yours and hers shared room. “you can set her bag down here, eren, n’ your room is jus’ down the hall,” she said.
“i’ll see you guys back downstairs,” she smiled, her tone filled with implications.
eren set your bags down by the closet before sitting down on the bed and looking at you, “you guys always get the good room,” he joked before laying down on the bed.
you laughed softly, walking over to sit down on the bed beside him. you laid down too, turning over to look at him before looking back up at the ceiling. “can’t believe this is like our 7th year coming here,” eren sighed softly.
“me either,” eren turned to look at you before looking back up at the ceiling. he was praying that his cheeks weren’t flushed pink. “m’glad you’re in my life ren’,” you said softly, looking at him once more.
this time though, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. and neither could eren.
“m’glad you’re in my life too, cupcake,” you giggled at the nickname, eren grinning at the pretty sound. interrupting the sweet moment was the hollers off all your friends and connie’s shout of, “drink up bitch!”
you both chuckled before eren sat up, leaning back on his arms and looking down at you. 
“ya wanna go kick some ass in beer pong?”
“you know i do.”
Tumblr media
and that it is exactly what the two of you proceeded to do. you and eren were a force to be reckoned with. eren’s celebrations for you sinking the small ping pong ball into one of the beer-filled solo cups differed each time.
the first time he simply just nodded with a teasing, “okay, i see you!”
the second was a silly hip bump, though unaware of his own strength, you were tumbling over a little, to which eren grabbed you and pullled you back up steady, the two of you giggling. 
it was evident that the two tequila shots that you and eren had taken before the game were kicking in.
and when you got the game-winner, eren grabbed you around the waist, lifting you up and spinning you around, your sharp squeal sounding throughout the room. 
if you had been sober, you would have seen mikasa shaking her head as though she knew something that the two of you didn’t.
eren put you back down, still grinning as he flipped connie off. connie just groaned with a “kiss my fucking ass, bro.”
the rest of the night was drinking games, and jean finally got to be on aux. around 1:00, though, everyone started to call it a night. apart from you and eren. 
the two of you were sat at the kitchen table, and you were fiddling with the cap of another smirnoff. eren promptly grabbed the bottle from your hands, opening it with his teeth.
you offered a sweet, “thank you,”, taking a small swig from the bottle. eren was nursing a beer that was probably luke-warm by now, but he didn’t care. 
he couldn’t find it in him to care, not with you sitting right next to him, looking like an angel.
eren attempted to shake those thoughts away, his voice wavering as he began to talk, “y-you wanna go down to the lake?” eren asked, standing up and looking down at you.
you raised your eyes to look at him, flustered at how big he looked standing over you, “s-sure!” you said, standing.
one of eren’s hands fell to the small of your back, leading you to the back door and opening it for you. the cabin had a dock that attached to the back patio and the expansive backyard.
the two of you walked down the wooden dock, a soft silence falling over you. upon reaching the end, you looked up at the night sky. the moon was casting a soft glow over the two of you, and there were so many stars out.
you always loved coming out here, especially because of how pretty the nights were. you sat down, your legs hanging off the edge of the dock, eren quickly following suit. 
“s’pretty” he muttered, still looking up at the sky, “mhm” was the only answer you could give as you admired the side of eren’s face. 
“ask me something,” eren said abruptly, turning to look at you. you sputtered around words for a second, embarrassed at getting caught staring, before you were able to form a “huh?”
“ask me a question,” eren repeated, “anything you wanna know.”
“i already know everything about you, ren’.”
“not everything.”
a soft silence fell over the two of you once more before you sighed, “okay,” you planned to blame this on the alcohol ruining your filter in the morning, but in all honesty, you had always wanted to know what you were about to ask.
when eren had broken up with his highschool sweetheart, he hadn’t offered any explanation, just that “it was a mutual decision.”
something about it irked you, especially because when eren talked to you about her, he made her seem like his whole world.
“why’d you break up with historia?” you asked, quickly pressing your lips together after the question fell onto the peaceful silence of the night air.
eren would also blame his lack of filter on the alcohol when he woke up tomorrow morning. 
“because of you.”
your eyes widened, turning to look at eren in a sort of disbelief. the look in your eyes was enough for eren to know that you wanted him to explain further.
“sh-she....historia,” his voice got really small at the next part, “historia thought i was in love with you.”
the air was not peaceful anymore, no. now it was full of tension, of withheld confessions.
you almost stopped yourself from muttering your next two, simple words;
“w-were you?”
“don’t play dumb, y/n.” 
the silence was back once more. you turned to look at eren, and you swore you saw a glimpse of his 12 year old-self. you hadn’t seen him take on such a shy demeanor in so long, but with the way he was looking down at his lap, fiddling with his hands, it was like he was that small boy all over again.
“ask me a question.” you said boldly, eren almost getting whiplash from how quick he turned to look at you.
“w-what?” “ask me a question, eren.”
you were hoping that he would ask the right one.
“oh-um, okay, um,” he hummed to himself for a moment, and you kept taking glimpses at him out of your peripheral. 
his cheeks were flushed pink, his lips opening and closing a couple times before he finally got the courage to ask, “why haven’t you ever been in a relationship?”
you smiled softly to yourself. he asked the right one. eren was oblivious to your small glee, attempting to clarify his question, scared he might of offended you.
“w-well, i mean! uh-i know you’ve like uh-” he cleared his throat, “been with people, but i mean, t-there’s never been anything serious so, i guess i’m...hm, i’m just wondering, why?”
your smile grew at eren’s rambling before your answer fell from your lips.
“because of you.”
eren’s eyes were on you again, and he was praying that you couldn’t see the desperation behind them. 
“w-why?”
“do you even have to ask, eren?”
and there was that silence more. it wasn’t peaceful, nor was it tense. it was in a state of juxtaposition; content, but eager for more.
it was always like this with you and eren, beating around the bush with your feelings. there’d be innuendos, unspoken answers, but neither of you had ever been outright with your feelings. 
perhaps it was the fear of the losing the best thing, the best person in your life. that was enough to quell the incessant beating both of your hearts. 
even if you couldn’t have eren in the way you wanted him, you still had him. he was still here, sitting next to you, talking to you. that was more than enough, right? 
you nor eren would let your feelings overturn the years of friendship. neither of you would be able to cope with the gravity of losing the other.
you couldn’t deal with the thoughts racing through your mind, standing up and holding your hand out to eren.
“you ready to go in?” he nodded, grabbing your hand.
neither of you let go as you walked back to the cabin, and up the stairs to the bedrooms. 
“so, um, goodnight ren’.”
“goodnight, cupcake.” you both smiled at the nickname, letting go of one another’s hands and walking your separate ways. 
you opened the door to your room, expecting to see mikasa sprawled out over the bed, but to your surprise it was empty. you stood there for a second, confused, tired, n’ drunk. 
“huh, where’s she-” you muttered to yourself, eren interrupting you with a whisper-shout down the hallway, “think i found her!”
you walked over to eren, who was still standing outside his room. you peered inside to find jean and mikasa in bed, a white sheet covering their body. mikasa’s arm was over jeans stomach, jean’s arm wrapping around her waist as they snuggled into one another.
“i’m so gonna give her shit about this in the morning,” you laughed softly, eren chuckling as he turned to look at you. you were smiling as you snapped a quick picture, and eren wasn’t sure if his heart could take anymore of you tonight.
“you can, uh, come sleep with me tonight if you want,” you offered.
eren tried to stop it, he really did but his cheeks were flushing pink as he nodded, “yeah, that’d be great.”
he watched as you closed the room to his jean and mikasa’s room softly, before following you down the hall to your room. it all felt like eren was watching this blur past him. sure the two of you had slept in the same room, many many times, but he’d basically just confessed to previously being in love with you.
and he was pretty sure you were smart enough to infer that he still was very much in love with you.
he was sitting on your bed, taking his shirt and his pants off, because, well, he forgot to grab clothes. sure, it was just a walk down the hall, but he was tired.
and then, eren watched your shirt come off. he saw the lacy intricacy of your bralette before you turned away from him and towards the dresser. you unclipped the clasps of your bra, and eren swears he almost dissolved into the bed.
just the image of your back, your bare back in front of him, was enough to have him popping a semi. he brought his hand to his bulge, silently hissing as he willed it to go away.
you grabbed a big white shirt, which he was pretty sure was his, and tugged it over your body. next came your shorts, and thankfully he couldn’t see anything due to how large the shirt was. 
eren decided that he needed to get under the covers before he embarrassed himself. you turned around seeing eren already under the covers.
the way his eyes lingered on you made heat travel through your body.
“tired, huh, ren’?” you laughed softly, eren smiling as you made your way to your side of the bed. he turned over to face you as he mumbled, “tired doesn’t even cover it,” a soft smile on his face.
you lifted the covers up, catching a glimpse of eren’s toned abdomen, choosing, more so attempting, to ignore the image. 
you both laid there, keeping your distance. you opened your eyes, saying a soft, “goodnight, ren’.”
eren didn’t respond back, his hand simply came to your waist as he said a soft, “c’mere,” and pulled you in closer to him. your face was nuzzled into his shoulder, eren’s head softly bumping against yours.
your legs were slowly becoming entangled with one another, and eren’s grip on your waist was holding you close to him.
“goodnight,” he sighed, pressing a soft kiss into your forehead.
Tumblr media
everyone slept in the next morning, but eventually the sound of pans and movement throughout the kitchen lulled you and eren out of your sanctuary of sleep. 
“m gonna go grab somethin’ to eat, ren,” you mumbled into his chest, still not moving. “mhm, go head,” he huffed, his breathing slow as he pulled you into him more. if you were being honest, there’s was no way you were getting up and leaving the embrace of eren’s arms. 
the two of you laid there, reveling in your shared warmth until you heard a knock on the door. you and eren quickly moved to opposite sides of the bed, practically falling off the edge from how fast you separated from each other. 
“c-come in!” you shouted, turning to look at eren for a second before turning back to look at the door.
its not that either of you cared if your friends saw you sleeping together, but you didn’t want them to get the wrong idea. y’know....think there’s something there when there isn’t. cause there isn’t.
sasha opened the door and you could see the big grin on her eye turn into a suspiciously-sweet smile. “goodmorning!” she paused for a moment, looking between the two of you before stopping on eren, “nico’s downstairs making breakfast if you wanna go help, eren.”
eren sat there for a good minute, thinking of what the most logical route was. 
why would i go help? sasha knows i can’t cook for shit, what is she--oh. they’re about to talk shit on me. oh. okay. y/n is gonna tell her how she woke up to me being little spoon, fuck, okay, uh--
“yeah, uh, i’ll go do that,” eren said, quickly getting out of bed, but he was forgetting one major detail. he only had on briefs.
sahsa yelped with a cry of, “why are you butt-ass naked right now? oh my god!”
“i have briefs on sash for fucks sakes!” 
“it-it’s not what it looks like!” you sputtered from the bed as eren pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his sweats from the floor.
“g-get out!” sasha cried jokingly, trying not to laugh, “you are banned until further notice” she pointed a finger at eren as he chuckled slipping on his sweats.
he just shook his head as he started walking towards the bedroom door. he slid past sasha with a “see you downstairs, bozo,” and turned to you with a softer, “see you in a minute, y/n,” 
“mhm” you replied, a soft smile on your face as you watched eren’s figure leave the doorway. 
sasha watched him walk down the hall and once he got to the top of the staircase and began walking down, her head whipped towards you. “what. the. fuck.” she mouthed before closing the door and hopping on the bed. 
“sashhh,” you whined, not ready for her incessant questions. “come on, y/n! you know i have to ask, mika would do the same!” 
“you cannot tell mikasa, she will never let me forget about it,” you cried, putting your head in your hands as sasha laughed softly. 
“don’t worry, she has no room to talk with all the shit she’s doing with jean,” sasha grimaced as she continued speaking, “the walls are so thin here, you can hear....everything, and i mean everything.”
you laughed softly, sasha smiling before she continued, “sooo.....”
“nothing happened,” you said, sasha raising an eyebrow in disbelief. “seriously we didn’t kiss or fuck or anythin,” you huffed out a breath before continuing, “last night was just...weird, n’ not bad just weird.”
“how so?” sasha asked as she shuffled across the bed to lay against the headboard. “s’just...we went down to the lake, right?” sasha nodded as you continued, “and we basically confessed to liking each other when we were younger,” you mumbled quickly, sasha’s mouth falling open in a soft ‘o’ before she laughed softly.
“and what about now? did you guys talk about how you feel now?”
your stomach dropped at that as you turned to sasha with furrowed eyebrows, “nothing’s happening now, me n’ ren’ are just friends.” “ren’?” sasha teased.
“stop, i’m serious, it’s not like that,” you crossed your arms over your chest, unsure if you were trying to convince sasha or yourself. “okay,” sasha subsided, “there’s pancake downstairs when you’re ready, lover girl,” sasha sung the nickname as she opened the door.
“you’re so corny, sasha,” you giggled softly, standing up from bed. “n’ you love me,” she hummed, following you down the hall. “yeah, yeah,” you teased, walking down the steps of the staircase.
everyone was already sitting at the table. eren’s head perked up at the sound of footsteps and he smiled once he saw you. you sat in the chair next to him, eren sliding his plate in between the two of you.
“saved you a chocolate chip one, know they’re your favorite,” eren smiled, the expression mirrored on your face. 
“thanks , ren.”
Tumblr media
the rest of the trip was really fun. connie tried to drown jean, which was normal, jean then returned the favor. niccolo barbecued, which was probably your favorite part. 
eren went back to his room and mikasa came back to yours. 
so there was that. 
jean drove you, eren, sasha, and connie back. you and eren were the last stop, and you thanked jean again for driving and letting you guys stay. 
“of course, always,” he smiled at you. “text when you get home please,” you said sweetly. jean chuckled, hoping his cheeks didn’t flush too pink at your thoughtfulness, “i always do,” he said softly.
eren was quick with a “bye horseface, thanks,” grinning at jean, who quickly flipped eren off. the engine of jean’s convertible roared as he drove off from yours and eren’s apartment complex. 
“you guys are so sweet to each other,” you teased, eren laughing softly. “gimme your bag,” eren grunted, and you knew better than to argue with him about carrying your own things.
you grabbed the keys from your back pocket, unlocking the door to the apartment complex and holding it open for eren. the elevator ride up to yours and eren’s apartment was quiet, the two of you tired from the car ride.
as soon as you made it into your apartment eren dropped the bags by the door and slumped onto the couch. you laughed at eren’s long legs falling over the armrest of the couch as you walked into the kitchen.
“ren’, you want some water?” you yelled softly, receiving an affirmative, “please,” from eren. you walked back into the living room, setting eren’s glass on top of the table. 
“m gonna head to bed,” you said softly, looking down at eren who’s eyes were shut softly. “i’ll come with you,” he said, his voice low. you could only get out a soft “okay, c’mon then.”
eren grabbed his water, and walked behind you towards your room. you were too tired to change and the clothes you were in were comfortable enough.
the same could not be said for eren.
he ditched his shirt and sweats, leaving him in his boxer briefs. as soon as his pants came off you forced yourself to look away and try to let sleep take you over.
you felt eren slide under the comforter, lying right beside you. and though you couldn’t see it, you knew eren was close. you cold feel his knee touching the back of yours, and although faint, you could feel his soft breath on the back of your neck. 
“thanks for letting me sleep in here,” eren said softly. 
“always, ren’.”
Tumblr media
one thing about eren is that he can roll a good blunt. and god, did he look good while doing it. a tray was sitting in his lap, a grinder, weed, rolling paper and a lighter on it.
eren was so concentrated, tapping the rolled joint against the tray. after he was finished, he placed the joint between his lips and handed you the lighter with a soft grin.
“would you do the honors,” he mumbled around the joint to which you smiled. you came closer to eren’s face, striking the lighter. the flame flickered between yours and eren’s faces as you brought the flame towards the tip of the joint.
eren took in a deep inhale, blowing the smoke out of his lips, turning to you with a soft grin and holding the joint out to you.
you accepted it, gratefully, inhaling and letting the smoke fill your lungs before you exhaled. “can we shotgun it ren’?” you asked, scooting a little closer to eren. you didn’t miss the pink that flushed to his cheeks, “yeah, you want to? c’mere,” eren said, reaching for the joint.
you shook your head softly, eren arching an eyebrow in confusion. “i wanna try blowing it into your mouth,” you smiled softly, eren’s eyes widening a little bit before he nodded.
eren’s body tingled when your hand came to hold his chin softly and your sultry, “open up,” almost had him ruining his pants.
eren was quick to listen, his pink lips parting as you took an inhale from the joint. you leaned closer to him, your lips brushing for just a moment as you blew the smoke into eren’s mouth.
you pulled away, still looking at eren as you watched him exhale a cloud of smoke. “did i do good?” you teased, eren just smiling with a slow nod, his eyes raking up and down your figure.
you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle eren teasing you back, so you quickly shifted conversation, “y’hungry ren?” 
obviously that was the wrong question to ask because eren was licking his lips and eyeing you down with an “mhm.”
“i-ill order us something!” you said scurrying off the bed and grabbing your phone from eren’s desk.
Tumblr media
“thanks dude,” eren nodded towards the doordasher, shutting the apartment door behind him. you looked over at him from your spot on the couch, turning back around as eren walked over.
he set the bags of food on the coffee table, plopping down beside you on the couch. you watch as eren unties the bags, setting your food in front of you on the table. 
you open up your sushi, asking eren to “hand me the soy sauce, please,” the two of you eat in peaceful silence, the high you’re experiencing softly settling over the two of you.
“you wan’ one of mine?” eren asks holding his tray out to you. you nod and eren grabs a piece with his chopsticks and brings it towards your mouth. he got a california roll, per usual, but you had to admit it was pretty good.
“mm” you hummed around the roll, eren smiling as he watched you chew, “s’good huh?” he said, to which you smiled. “want one of mine?” you mumbled around the food in your mouth, eren laughing softly at the way your words were jumbled.
“ywes plewase” eren mocked you, but opened his mouth, patiently awaiting you to hand feed him a roll. you laughed softly, grabbing a piece of the sushi with your chopsticks and bringing it to eren’s lips.
“woah,” he mumbled as he chewed, “wanna swap?” he asked after finishing the piece, beginning to reach for your tray. “funny, ren’,” you said, grabbing your tray from the table and holding it to the right of you.
“you’re not gonna share with me,” eren jokingly pouted, “guess i’ll just have to take it from you then huh?” he began reaching over you, one hand resting on your thigh, the other reaching for the tray of sushi that you held far to the right of you.
eren could grab it if he wanted to you, his wingspan being much larger than yours, but he was far too content with listening to your soft giggles and feeling the warmth of your skin under his palm. 
Tumblr media
“come in, come in,” your mom said, ushering you and eren into the house. “how was the drive down?” your mother asked as you and eren followed her into the kitchen. “wasn’t too bad,” you answered, as eren pulled out a seat for you at the kitchen table.
your mom was stirring some sauce at the stove, and eren was taking his coat off and setting it on the back of his chair.
“do you need any help with anything, mrs. y/l/n?” eren asked, your mom turning around to gift him with a big grin. “oh no honey! you sit, you must be tired from driving all this way.” 
eren sat next to you as your mom began plating dinner, and called for your dad. “he’s napping again,” she muttered, calling for him louder this time. “m’coming hold on!” your dad yelled from upstairs, and eren couldn’t help but laugh at your parents antics. 
your dad made his way downstairs, grinning when he saw eren. he bounded over to him, eren standing up as your dad pulled him for a hug, patting him on the back. 
well, it was more like a slap on the back, your dad was pretty heavy handed. your father pulled away, still grinning, “how come you didn’t call me down earlier, i didn’t know eren was here,” “oh, hi dad,” you said jokingly, “yeah, yeah you too,” your dad teased, coming over to kiss you on the cheek.
your family sat with you and eren, asking the two of you questions about college and life. you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at how invested they were when eren would speak.
when dinner finished up, eren gathered the dishes from the table and headed towards the sink, “i’ll wash up,” he offered turning towards your mom who was already objecting, “the cook never cleans,” he stopped her before she could tell him no.
she laughed softly, patting eren on his back, “thank you, eren,” she smiled, “ya could rub off on this one a little, she hates doing dishes,” your mom pointed at you. you laughed at the insinuation. learn...from..eren ? if only she knew what he got up to.
“yeah, yeah, eren’s amazing,” you joked, your mom coming over to you. “your beds all made up, and i laid out a mat on the floor for eren,” “thanks mom,” you gave her a hug from your chair.
“you kids sleep good, see you in the morning!” she said, heading out of the kitchen. eren was still washing dishes as he spoke, “she laid out a mat for me,” he laughed softly, “think she knows that we practically share a room?”
you chuckled at that, standing up from your chair and walking over to the kitchen island and sink where eren was washing dishes. “don’t tell her, it’ll destroy her,” you joked, eren grinning at you.
you propelled yourself up on to the island, sitting on the island as you watched eren scrub one of the plates. “thank you,” you said softly, eren looking up at you.
“for what?” he asked. 
“everything,” you answered.
“getting sentimental on me, huh?” eren teased.
“anddd the moment’s over,” you laughed softly, eren chuckling. “get back to scrubbing bus boy,” you nudged eren with your foot.
“oi!”
Tumblr media
everytime you and eren visited home, you always split the trip in two. half of the time was spent at your house, and the other half was spent at his. 
today was your second day at eren’s and carla was helping you build a charcuterie board for the family picnic. “i saw one on pinterest that included chocolate shaped as roses.”
carla gasped at that, layering the salami to create a flower shape, “that sounds like too much work,” “agreed,” you laughed softly. 
the two of you began to pack the picnic basket with drinks and sandwiches, eren coming back inside from loading the car with sports balls and blankets.
he watched from the hallway as his mom laughed at a joke you made, and he couldn’t help the smile from breaking out on his face. he felt like a lovesick fool. 
he decided it was time to announce his presence before he became anymore embarrassing, “car’s all loaded, ma,” he said walking over to the two of you.
“thank you baby,” she said, grabbing the picnic basket and handing it to eren for him to carry.
the car ride over was pretty short, and you and eren unpacked the car as zeke and carla laid out the blankets in the grassy field of the park. grisha was called in for a last minute surgery, so he couldn’t come with today. zeke was back in town visiting and he did not miss a beat on teasing eren for his crush on you. 
after a delicious lunch, and many compliments from eren on yours and carla’s charcuterie board, zeke offered up the idea of basketball. you and carla had decided boys vs girls was the way to play, and the two of you quickly huddled up to devise a game plan.
the two of you also decided that girls should get the ball first, just because. the game started with you playing point guard and eren as your defender. he smirked at you as the two of you checked the ball.
should he go easy on you? nah.
he was right up on you, playing defense. and the way he towered over you was flustering you, but you needed to focus, you had a game to play!
you tried to get past eren, to no avail, but you were able to pass the ball to carla. 
now, eren didn’t get his athleticism from nowhere. carla pulled it from the 3-point line, and it was a straight sinker. 
you cheered loudly running over to carla as she brought you in for a big hug. you stuck out an L at eren, to which he shook his head softly, laughing. 
“okay, c’mon then, get on defense n i’ll show you sumn’,” he said, voice low.
you and eren checked the ball, and you jokingly waved your arms up and down in a crazy manner. eren was quick to juke you out, it was embarrassing honestly, and pulled it from the 3 point line and sunk it.
it’s safe to say the rest of the game proceeded in a similar manner, zeke and eren developing a steady lead. at the end of the game you shook your head with joking mutters of “rigged,” and carla joined in with, “did you score the first point, though? nope.” 
on the ride back home, carla rolled the windows down, and eren watched you from the other side of the backseat. you had yet to stop smiling the entire day, and so had he. 
Tumblr media
the walls of yours and eren’s apartment were very thin. and eren knew that. so when he decided to jack off at 5 pm when he “thought you weren’t home!”
was it intentional?
no way!
and when you sat on your bed, listening to eren’s pretty groans and whimpers that was in no way on purpose.
and when your hands began to trace down your body, unbuttoning your pants and sliding under your panties, it was just a coincidence that you happened to be doing it at the same time as eren.
and god, if his ears didn’t perk up at that first pretty sound you made. his hand stalled on his cock, needing to hear more. but as he went quiet, so did you.
he was guessing that you might of needed a little motivation. he began stroking his cock once more, moaning as he threw his head back at the image of you touching yourself in the room right next door.
and there you went. your soft moans, albeit muffled, were music to eren’s ears. 
they were making him feel more and more bold.
“fuck, need you,” he groaned, thumbing at the slit of his cock with a whimper. he moaned again, tuning his ears in for what he hoped could be an unspoken reply. 
“m all yours,” you whined and with two more strokes, eren was cumming with a loud moan and a couple curses. he could tell you followed soon after, listening to your whimpers increase in volume until...silence, and a short whine after.
the apartment was then dead quiet, neither of you moving or speaking. even your breath was soft and bated. 
it seems both of you may have been tired of beating around the bush.
Tumblr media
but, life went back to normal. neither of you made a move, and that shared moment of unspoken ecstasy went unmentioned between the two of you.
you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t disappointed, but you couldn’t expect eren to balls up and say something when you couldn’t either.
you were sitting in the passenger seat of eren’s two-seater pick up truck as he drove down melone drive. the windy road lead to yours and eren’s favorite lookout. there was a small lake there that you and eren had found during highschool, and you’d been coming to it ever since.
it was so quiet out here, and that was one of the things you and eren loved about it. it was only the two of you out here. 
and it never had to be anything else. 
you grabbed your towel out from the bed of the truck as you unbuttoned your shorts. eren leaned on the hood of his truck laughing softly, “already?” he joked.
you turned to look at him over your shoulder, grinning, “i wanna swim c’mon ren!” 
your shirt was next, and eren had to look away. he peeled of his white cotton t-shirt, already in swim trunks as he followed you into the water. he watched as you floated on the surface, looking up at the crescent shaped moon.
mesmerizing. that’s all eren can think when he looks at you. he’s so captivated by everything you do. and now he’s coming closer to you as you stand upright. the water’s still shallow here and your feet plant at the floor of the lake.
“ren, what’s wrong?” you ask as eren stops in front of you, just looking down at you.
“i-” he huffs out a breath, looking down at the water that’s reflecting the light of the moon. “i can’t do this anymore, y/n,” he looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed.
“huh? can’t do what? eren, if you don’t wanna swim, we can get out now.”
eren shakes his head with a mutter of “s’not that.”
his heart is beating so fast, it feels like it’s about to fall out of his chest. he thinks about the moments he’s had with you in all his years of knowing you. he thinks of every laugh of yours, of each fight, of every shared moment of eagerness for more.
and then, he thinks about all the new moments he wants to have with you. he wants to know what it’s like to love you. he wants to be with you in every way. he wants to wake up to you in the morning and kiss you. he wants to cook for you and spoil you with gifts. he wants to marry you and watch you grow full with his kids. he wants to have a life with you. he wants to know what it's like to give you all his love, to give you everything he’s worth.
he hopes his words can convey that.
“i can’t beat around the bush anymore. we’ve bee playing this game for 9 years and i can’t anymore.” 
“eren, what are you saying?”
“you have to know i love you, y/n. you know, i thought the way i looked at you would be enough for you to know i love you. you can’t see how i look at you? i can’t ever tear my eyes off you n’ i’ve never wanted to.”
eren’s panting now, and his heart beat is still so quickened, “i want to hear everything you have to say. i tease you so much cause’ hearing you laugh makes everything better. you make everything better. you’re what i think about as soon as i wake up, and you’re my only thought as i fall asleep.”
you’re watching him with watering eyes now as he continues, “and i-” he’s huffing out another breath, “i can’t, i can’t just be friends with you anymore, y/n, i thought i could but i can’t. and i’m sorry if that puts you in a weird position, but i needed you to know how i feel because i just can’t take this anymore.”
eren stops there, and he feels as though he has to manually force himself to breath. he watches you, watches one tear trickle down your cheek before you jump up and wrap your arms around his neck.
he’s quick to catch your legs and he listens to you sniffle into his shoulder. “ren’,” you hiccupp, “i love you n i always have.” 
he’s holding you tighter at your words. eren doesn’t ever want to let you go and now, he knows he never will. you pull back to look at eren and his eyes are watering too. 
you bring one hand to his cheek, brushing your thumb against his skin softly. your lips are gravitating towards one another, and they meet, hesitantly, before you’re falling, plummeting into one another.
you’re breathing one another in, your lips moving in dance as eren’s grip on you tightens. your hands are drifting to his hair now and eren’s moaning into your lips.
you pull away breathless, panting into eren’s lips, “i need you, ren.”
your words are all eren needs to start walking out of the lake, with you still wrapped around his figure. he’s glad there’s already a blanket laid in the bed of the truck as he sets you down on the edge of the bed.
he’s leaning over you and kissing you, his hands holding your cheeks tenderly.
you’re smiling that beautiful smile of yours as you pull away and scoot further into the bed of the truck. you begin to giggle as eren makes his way over to you and now he’s laughing too.
eren’s lips are on your neck now and he’s blessed with finally hearing the sounds of your pleasure up close. he’s fiddling with the top of your bikini and you’re leaning up to quickly undo the clasp.
nothing could have prepared eren for this moment. he’s known his whole life that you were breathtaking but seeing you in this manner was the final nail in his coffin.
your pretty nipples were hard from the night air, and eren went with his first instinct and wrapped his lips around one. you were moaning now and your hands were gripping eren’s hair and undoing his messy hair bun. 
his fingers twisted and flicked your other nipple and now eren was pulling away from your chest. he was grabbing your breasts, squeezing them in his hands as he licked his lips.
“so fucking beautiful,” he was muttering into the skin of your stomach as he began kissing down your body. eren’s legs were hanging off the edge of the bed of the truck, and his feet were brushing the grass, but he couldn’t find it in him to care as he was met with your body.
he tugged the bottoms to your bikini down your legs. you were getting shy now, eren could tell but he wasn’t going to have any of that. “nuh’ uh, open up, angel,” eren was saying breathlessly.
he was met with the sight of your dripping center. you were visibly needy, your clit pulsing and puffy. “you need me here?” eren asked, running a finger through your slit. “y-yeah ren! need you so bad,” you whimpered, running eren’s hair through your fingers.
he couldn’t hold off anymore, he needed to taste you. his tongue jutted out to lick up the arousal drooling down your slit, and you were yelping at the feel of eren’s tongue.
he chuckled before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking. you were a mess now, squirming and moaning as you gripped onto eren’s hair, which had him moaning into your pussy, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your system. 
“ren’! m’ i’m gonna cum!” you were panting, eren’s hands holding onto your hips to stop you from running away. “c’mon then, baby, lemme taste you, i need it,” eren was mumbling into your clit.
one more suckle onto your bundle of nerves and you were falling apart on eren’s tongue. he didn’t waste a drop, moaning as he worked you through it, his hand rubbing soft circles into your hip as you came down, eren still leaving soft kitten licks at your clit.
he pulled away when he could tell you were sensitive and stood up from the bed of the truck. he was peeling off his swim trunks, his cock springing free and hitting against his toned abdomen.
he had never been this hard in his life.
your eyes were glued to his lower body as eren chuckled making his way back into the bed of the truck. his hand came to the back of your head, the two of you sitting up as he pulled you in for another kiss.
a string of spit connected your lips as eren pulled away. “lay down for me,” eren told you, his hand cradling your head. eren was leaning over you now, one hand holding the rim on the bed of the truck to keep him towering over your figure, the other grabbing around the base of his cock. 
he started to tease the tip through your folds, relishing in the way you’d jump when he brushed against your clit.
“are you ready?” eren said softly, looking at you for any sign of hesitation. “m ready ren’,” you pecked him,  “are you?” you teased.
“born ready,” he joked the two of you laughing. though, as eren’s tip nudged against your entrance, neither of you felt like joking anymore. his tip was going into your tight hole and you were wincing at the stretch of his girth.
“you alright?” eren asked, stopping. “m good,” you breathed, “your just big, ren’.”
eren knew he had a big cock, but hearing you say it made him twitch. “tell me if you need to stop,” he groaned softly, pushing into you more. eren caressed you through the stretch of his cock, cooing sweet nothings in your ear until he finally bottomed out.
“fuck,” he groaned, stilling inside the warmth of your cunt. your walls were squeezing down on him, “trying to milk my cock n’ i’ve only been in you for two minutes,” eren moaned. 
you were a mess. you couldn’t cope with the size of eren’s cock, with the way his tip was barely brushing against your cervix. “need-need you to move,” you whined, your nails raking down eren’s back.
“you sure?” he asked, running his hand down the curve of your side. “m’ sure, please, ren’.”
that’s all eren needed to pull back from the warmth of your insides and slam back in. you both moaned loudly at that, pushing each other more and more down the path of complete ecstasy with each thrust. “so-so good for me,” eren’s voice broke.
your nails were raking down eren’s back harder, breaking the skin, and the pain was making him wince and moan. “fuck never want anyone but you,” eren groaned, grabbing at one of your tits. 
“gonna fill you up n’ make you mine, you want that, baby?” eren was slamming into you now, your hips turned up as he folded your legs towards your shoulders, his hands holding the back of your knees it.
“need it, ren!” you were crying now, moaning loudly. “gonna give it to you,” eren panted, “but i need you to cum first. need you to cream all over this cock, make it yours.”
his words were enough to send you over the edge, your cum spraying on the base of eren’s cock and his abs.
feeling you pulse on his cock and watching your pretty eyes flutter close as your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure had eren filling you up. he came deep iside you, his load coating your walls white.
the both of you panted as you came down, and you pulled eren in by his neck for a deep kiss. 
“i’m gonna need a plan b tomorrow,” you laughed, moaning softly at the warmth of eren’s cum inside you. “i’ll set a reminder,” eren chuckled, “i meant what i said, i do wanna watch you get full with my kids, but maybe just after college.”
you laughed softly after that, pulling eren in for another kiss.
“i love you, ren,”
“i’ll love you forever.”
Tumblr media
fin
thank you for reading! this is the slowest slow burn fic i’ve ever done so i hope you guys enjoyed! please reblog to show your love n i hope you all have an amazing rest of your day or night or afternoon or whateva <333
3K notes · View notes
Text
Ugh I'm sorry I got really insecure/scared the next day and was quite busy after... I'm so overwhelmed I have 60+ dms on Tumblr alone lol. That's why I deleted the snap and don't expect too much interaction on Kik.
I will be a good slut now and try to get back to as many of you as possible! I Appreciate every one of you perverts. :3
24 notes · View notes
zensations35 · 4 months
Text
Intro Post
Hi! I'm Zensations/Zenarios from YouTube and this is my kink blog! Where you can get insight to my chaotic mind as well as more content than YT allows.
You can message me and chat but please be civil and respectful. I love making friends, but strangers opening chat, starting off with questions about my allergies/etc sets the wrong tone for friendship.
I love making content for others, but personally listening to wavs is a very private thing for me so I would ask yall to not send me those unprompted or tag me in them. Thanks!
About me:
I'm in a relationship with my spouse currently. We are poly so, I will occasionally talk about other SOs. I am panromantic and demisexual. I am part of the whump community as well as snz, and my fics reflect that sometimes. I am disabled and have a lot of mental illnesses and some of my posts will reference those but I will tag them with tw or cw.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
Things I do: writing, audio, scenarios, snz audiobooks, clips of my perfect chaos boy (my cat), maybe more one day.
Main Fandoms: Marvel, Hazbin Hotel, Arcane, Detroit Become Human, Death Note, Legend of Zelda (18+)
Things I do not do and do not plan to do: video with my face. Phone calls/kik/snapchat/etc. Basically any other social media platform is off limits.
I do take commissions! See my updates for when they're open :)
Masterlists:
Audio: Masterlist In Progress (or see "zen audio" tag)
OC Writing:
LSSR Masterlist (or see LSSR tag) - a foursome polycule does shenanigans and 2 characters are fet because I have no self control. Warning: these fics have some triggers. See tags.
Beckett Masterlist: A Groundskeeper with a ghost allergy has very sneezy shenanigans. (or see oc beckett tag).
Richard and Kuga Masterlist: Werewolf/Vampire fluff based on a mixture of White Wolf RPG and Anita Blake because I made these ocs when I was a dumb teenager.
Fanfiction Writing:
Marvel Masterlist
Hazbin Hotel Masterlist
Detroit Become Human Fic
LoZ BoTW fic and SS fic (and that one time I wrote a sarcastic scientist...), some greek mythology stuff. (or see zenfic/zenfanfic tags)
Other random things: see zen fanfic tag. I can't find them all 😅
And ofc, if you want to see my void son, look for the tag "Zens cat"
33 notes · View notes
urfavmidwife · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
this blog contains heavily explicit, nsfw, disturbing content. feel free to blacklist any tag and/or block me if it makes you uncomfortable. everything i post/reblog is a fictional fantasy that i don’t condone in real life. if you think sex without consent is okay i hope you die:) created by adults for adults, minors must not interact. you enter at your own risk.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
hello✨ i’m a biromantic midwife that’s crazy about breeding and lactation kink💖
my biggest dream is having four kids running around and a husband that treats me like his cum slut, chokes me while he fills me with his load and tells me i can give him the fifth!❤️ so far my job keeps me happy and fulfilled.
my kinks include noncon ♡ incest ♡ double penetration ♡ breeding ♡ degradation ♡ corruption ♡ lactation ♡ cum play ♡ spanking ♡ slapping ♡ spitting ♡ choking ♡ biting ♡ hair pulling ♡ marking/possessive sex
my absolute no-no’s are scat ♡ piss ♡ vomit  ♡ race play ♡ blood/knife play/gun play ♡ age play ♡ cheating/cuckolding ♡ pet play ♡ feminization ♡ heavy pain play
i am a sub if you’re a male ♡ a switch if you’re a female ♡ a switch if you’re a virgin/shy/inexperienced
when will you reply to my ask? ♡ why you don’t write incest with women? ♡ do your kinks affect your work?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
my posts are tagged #wifey talk the answered asks are tagged #ask your local midwife you are free to send your fantasies/nagging/bragging/literally anything that’s on your mind through the asks. i’ll happily read them all! i will not sext through dms/snapchat/kik/whatever. will exchange direct messages with mutuals only. i do sell pictures! send me an ask if you are interested✨
372 notes · View notes
lemonjestercoffee · 5 months
Text
i'm not convinced this isn't how Amino got blocked by Discord
Tumblr media
anywho when i initially found Cloutchase i kinda picked Tumblr as my favorite cause yk- i live here- but when volume two came out and i got to see these two in action, they completely stole my heart. both their stories were a little to close to home for comfort and now i just wanna put them both in front of a fireplace with a blanket and hot cocoa cause god knows they both need it
Kik is also a favorite, and i wanted to put them in here, but here was just no place to put it with this joke so >:p
my trio of allergic to social interaction cringfail dumbass catboys
42 notes · View notes
dvilborn · 24 days
Text
knowing your partner can potentially make writing together a lot easier !
– 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.
♡ NAME: kita, and any variation of it you can make up.
♡ PRONOUNS: she/they
♡  SEXUALITY: dyke
♡  TAKEN OR SINGLE: single
– 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒
♡ i have a tattoo for nearly every fandom i've rped in.
♡ i recently achieved my qualifying law degree and will hopefully be applying to legal jobs in september!!! just a couple more months baby
♡ in general, hazbin has been one of the chillest fandoms i've rped in since like. 2018. so thank u to my dash, yall are great.
– 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.
♡   HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): jesus. i think i started in like. 2012/2013 on the forum rps of fanfic.net. so at least 10 years. mind you, i didn't start rping properly then until 2015 though.
♡   PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: fanfic.net, a tvd fan forum i couldnt name, omegle, kik, so many apps, discord, tumblr.
♡   BEST EXPERIENCE: every other experience was horrific bar discord so note that down! but fr, tumblr has introduced me to so many people and let us build interactions and characters together that it has to be the best. this hellmouth let me build a 8 year friendship so it has that going for it.
– 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒
♡   FEMALE OR MALE: women. women always. maybe it's the lesbian in me but i simply love my female characters. i do have a couple men adjacent muses though. love letting the girls go crazy and commit atrocities.
♡  FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: angst. fluff is good but angst is so easy to write. i love breaking my muses.
♡   PLOTS OR MEMES: i'm so bad at getting the plot ball rolling that i have to choose memes here. at least to start. when we have a base interaction then my brain can go brr and scream about dynamics and plots for days. i just need the kickstart.
♡   LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: somewhere in the middle. i love a long reply but sometimes it just means a lot of waffle if its just trying to make up space. short replies are hit and miss for me personally. i like to go for 2-3 paras personally.
♡   BEST TIME TO WRITE: lol imagine sitting down to actually write. usually in the evenings since my dash is dead until then bc timezones.
♡ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): absolutely not. other than being gay. all of my muses are at least cooler than me and should be wanted by authorities in 20 countries.
tagged by . @spiderslvts (thank u bestie) tagging . @videoaux @kindofuneven @nosestealer @pridefell @wolfkcst @gluttonybound + anyone who wants to steal
13 notes · View notes
applejuiceyjuice-art · 5 months
Text
I was wondering how twitch n kik cloutchase would interact and it turned into this comic :D
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
23 notes · View notes
Text
Feelings are important, and knowing how the other person wants to feel in an interaction is key to getting things just right. I want to feel delighted with my slave. I want to be pleasantly surprised at how well, competently and quickly something is done. I want to feel proud to have you serving me. I want to feel cared for and highly respected. I want to trust you. I want your presence in my life to enhance my mood, not leave me frustrated, angry or drained. I want to smile when Kik : mistresscharlotte95
Tumblr media
293 notes · View notes
cupcraft · 8 months
Text
I think why it's important to support victims too is the reality of being a victim is that not everyone is going to have collected the evidence that ppl always ask for (and even then people always say the evidence is fake/not good enough).
Like I wont get too personal on details bc im not comfortable with that, but I want to use myself as example for my point because I don't want to speak for other people's experiences.
I was a victim of emotional abuse from a friend group for years that i only very recently went no contact with 1 year ago just about (2 ppl in the group specifically the most). And I didn't collect screenshots. I didn't collect video/recording (and even if i planned to thats illegal in my state without their consent). And for a lot of that relationship though I suffered and was in a bad place I never really quite realized it was abuse until I got out and had someone some else give me a wakeup call. And I currently still have no plans to report it or go through legal trouble with it personally (for reasons not important to this post's point.
And why I say this is because when I share my story with people I'm close to all I have is my word. My word of the things they did to me. My word on how the abuse was subtle, how I knew from a tone of voice if I'd get in trouble with them. How they'd belittle me under the guise of jokes and "game lobby culture". Etc.
And so when you think all victims need to come with you with a mountain of evidence you're really saying you won't believe people at their word which is my reality and many other people's realities for any type of abuse and harm. At the end of the day you're going to trust me or not if you're someone I'm comfortable enough telling my story to. At the end of the day you're going to see the post and decide if I'm making shit up or not.
Of course I wish I had scs of things for many reasons, but even then a lot of my experiences were verbally related with no recording (some of which is subtle anyway ill get into that in a second) The angry comments on Instagram I got were quickly changed while I was too panicked to sc them at the time. A lot of my texts were over kik of which never saved the history.
Sometimes people's words are going to have to be enough for people because that's all you're going to have. Because when you say evidence is important you're really saying that I expect every person in a situation to: know they're a victim, and once knowing theyre a victim collect evidence (even if that evidence collection could harm the victim/or isnt possible) and to somehow make sure that evidence is enough for people, plus be able to have evidence for abuse that is publicly subtle.
And on another point this expectation doesn't really cover how abuse can sometimes be so fucking subtle. You know? How can you explain to people how a tone of voice is a part of the abuse? How can you explain something that could be a joke between friends wasnt a joke in that situation and a part of the torment? How canyou explain to someone when they say something normal its the smile that tells you its belittling/anger? Like even if I had a believable recording of the interaction for the smile example, like it may not be noticeable to you because thats the pt in why its so fucking subtle! you're just gonna have to trust ppl when they know something is sinister or not idk how to explain this. How do we collect evidence for the things that are so subtle and innocuous and meant to fly under the radar in public?
So when people tell you to check your victim blaming rhetoric this is part of the reason why.
You may reblog this btw and you free to rb with additions of your own too this is an important and open conversation. And before it's said this is not specifically about any one situation it's something I've wanted to write about for a while based on both fandom experiences, irl experiences, and just witnessing how abuse victims are treated in various situations. So it's not a vague.
21 notes · View notes
lobito-snz · 2 months
Text
PINNED POST: PLEASE READ BEFORE EVERYTHING 😭
(pls pls pls its important aaaaa)
hey, before anything else, just a couple things oki?
⊹ Please DO NOT interact with me if you're under 18 (pretty please)
⊹ this is a safe place for LGBTQ+ community, so homophobics, and all that shit GO AWAY
⊹ same thing with racist, xenophobic, misogynistic people, we don't want u here 😽
⊹ i'm open to chat, but pls just don't ask for my number or nudes specially if we haven't even talked before or smth
⊹ don't ask me for any other social media, my only social media is YT and this tumblr. I used to have kik but not anymore.
⊹ not snz blogs DO NOT REBLOG anything of my stuff, pls, thats very important 😭
⊹ oh and dw i'm totally ok with the "spicy" asks~
now couple things abt me and the tags!
☆ i'm a non binary person im usually ok with any pronoun (i prefer masculine or neutral tho)
☆ i have emetophobia (yk just for ur information lol)
☆ Mexican, we can talk either in English or Spanish 👍
☆ i'm pansexual, im into any gender wuuuu
☆ most of my allergies are food allergies, but dust makes me sneeze like a total psychooo xD
all my asks and requests are tagged "#lobito asks ✨"
andd you can find all my snz wavs with #Lobito wavs!
(i'll leave both with the other tags 👇🏼👇🏼)
annddd i think that's it, i know most of us discovered our fetish being underage and thats ok, just don't interact if you're one, cause yk im over 18 and i wouldn't feel comfortable at all knowing that kids are interacting with my stuff u know? i hope u understand 🙏 be safe pls
Tumblr media
10 notes · View notes