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[on the phone] Thorin: I just got home, where are you guys? Fili: The hospital. Thorin: What? Why?? What happened?! Fili: Kili swallowed a watermelon seed. Thorin: So? It's not like it's gonna grow a watermelon in his stomach. Fili: Fili: We'll be home in 10 minutes.
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7spaceace7 · 16 hours ago
Fucking sobbing, I cannot get through Battle of the Five Armies without crying the entire last hour
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elles-writing · a day ago
Father's hen
A/N: I have no idea how do three years old kids act, but here it is!! I hope Bofur isn't too OOC!
Request by @kpopgirlbtssvt
Hi!! Ahhh I’m sorry for ranting a lot!! I got excited lol😅. Feel free to do what whatever you’d like with this request!Can I please request a Post BOTFA (Everyone lives au!) Platonic!family!Company x human! 3 year old little girl reader (eventual Dad!Bofur x Daughter!reader) where some the dwarves + Bilbo found her all by herself near Erebor (which I’m sure they’d be confused how such a tiny, young human could’ve found her way near the mountain, and after determining she doesn’t have anywhere to go (I’m guessing they’d get this information from Gandalf since she’s so young), they bring her up to Erebor with them and after a bit of convincing, Thorin lets the company take her in as their own. She especially bonds with Bofur (Idk why, but I can so see him as a dad!) as he is just such a sweetheart and he’s the one who carried her into Erebor (plus Y/n would love the cute toys he makes). I’m sure she’d live with Bofur, like he’d make her food, protect her, play with her, read/tell her stories, give her lots of hugs and love, all the sweet fatherly things 🥺 Y/n eventually calling him “daddy” (he would be SO SOFT!!). All of the dwarves + Bilbo + Gandalf would love her sooo much (and would be EXTREMELY protective)🥺
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Tags at the bottom
The first snowflakes weren't here yet. It made everyone, who noticed it, a little bit worried. There was often a few snowflakes on Durin's day already, reminding of the freezing cold winters.
Bofur was sitting on the top of the mountain, by the open door. He was looking down, and felt happy, but also worried. Happy, because they all were alive and found a way inside the Mountain. Worried, because...he remembered the attack of Smaug, and had a feeling this will be similar.
He shook his head, to get rid of all those thoughts. They can do it. Bilbo can do it.
A few weeks later, Thorin has become officialy the King of Erebor. It wasn't a huge celebration, but, everyone knew it was a step forward. Especially because Bard became king too, so now they all could talk about rebuilding the town and kingdom, and business and help from Mirkwood.
Bilbo was, however, going on his way home. The hobbit was worried, so the dwarves didn't pressure him into staying.
Bilbo, Balin, Gandalf, Dori, Dwalin, Fili, Kili and Bofur took a walk around Erebor. It was a week before Bilbo planned to leave.
"You know, I love the air here. It feels fresh," said Bilbo. It was true. Or, perhaps, he just haven't found his pipe yet, which was one of the pranks Fili and Kili done.
"Aye. The air isn't the only thing my brother likes, isn't it true?" Fili nudged Kili, who blushed.
"C'mon, you can't tell which is male and which is female, elves don't have beards!"
Bilbo, who learned how important the beards are for dwarves, didn't say any comment. However, Dwalin was quicker.
"You actually can," he said, reminding the Prince of the moment during dinner in Rivendell.
"Wait, can you hear it?" Kili suddenly stopped.
"The sound of your embarrasment?" Kili shook his head.
"No. The...the..." everyone got quiet, and they overheard a child's voice.
"Picking this flower, it is as blue as the sky, this flower is as yellow as the sun..."
Bilbo's eyes widened.
"It's's a girl..." he pointed over at meadow, where you were sitting, in torn, dirty tunic and trousers, picking flowers.
"Stay here," Gandalf said. Everyone watched him to go to you, and talking to you for a while. Meantime, Bilbo and Fili came closer.
You were afraid of them, so you quickly hidden behind Gandalf. He chuckled.
"Come on, Y/N. This is Master Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit from Shire."
"I have auntie from Shire!" You said. Bilbo's eyes widened. He sat down next to you.
"Oh, and what's her name? Maybe I know her," he said, trying to gain your trust.
"Um...I don't know. She has curly hair and big smile," you said, hoping he would know who do you mean.
"Watch out!" Kili's scream came from distance. There was a warg near, and you screamed. You froze, but, someone's knife was quicker. Gandalf found out it was Bofur, who threw it.
He quickly came to you, and carefully hug you. You hugged his leg, and cried from fear.
"You are safe, lassie." You looked at him with your huge e/c eyes, and quickly looked away. He carefully stroke your hair.
"Where are your parents, lassie?" He asked her.
"I don't know. It was still dark. Mummy left me and went back, but I got lost," you muttered, and your stomach agreeded. Meantime, Bilbo, Fili and Kili stood next to Bofur.
"Well...what if we went back and give her something to eat and let her sleep in proper bed?" Bilbo said quietly.
"We can't leave her alone anymore," Bofur nodded.
"I agree. It could take months before we find them. She has to have somewhere to stay, safe and warm," Kili said, and smiled at you.
"Do you think Uncle will agree?" Fili turned to Kili.
"He will have to," Bilbo said.
"Those are very brave words," Dwalin said in barely audible voice.
On the way back, you were holding Bofur's hand, but then he decided to let you have a piggy back ride. You even fell asleep on his back, snuggling to his coat.
When you arrived, he looked over his shoulder at you.
"Aye lass, time to go to bed," You woke up, and Bofur felt guity of it. But, you couldn't sleep on his back.
"What would you like to eat, lassie? You seem hungry. Then you can go back to sleep," That seemed to work.
Over the weeks, you were getting used to your new home. You didn't fully understand what happened to your family, but your found family made sure you were safe and happy. Bofur made toys for you to play with, and needless to say, you would play with them all the time.
It was around two weeks later, when you met a dwarf woman, who didn't seem unfamiliar. You didn't notice the exchange of looks her and Bofur had, when she noticed him and he noticed her.
"What's the matter?" Bilbo asked.
" are...?" The dwarf woman said, and Bofur's eyes sparkled in realization.
When you came back to the castle, Bilbo, Fili and Kili took you aside, while Bofur and her talked. Fili and Kili tried to listen (obviously), and when Tauriel entered the room you usually had breakfast, lunch and dinner in, Kili gave her puppy eyes.
"Oh, c'mon love!"
"That's personal. Besides, I didn't hear much anyways, and I came to Y/N. I haven't seen you in days, little one." She smiled at you, and Kili pouted.
"What about me?" Tauriel rolled her eyes and kissed his nose.
"Slightly," he muttered, and you giggled.
"See, Y/N likes it!" Kili explained his previous pout to his girlfriend. Fili was chuckling, and Bilbo seemed to have fun too.
"Y/N," the dwarf woman came to you. You curiously looked at her.
"I suppose you know...Bofur, right?" You quickly nodded.
"Alright...well, um..." she was unsure, but you didn't notice. You looked around.
"Where is mummy?" Her eyes were sad.
"I'm not sure. But...Bofur," she smiled, and looked over at him.
"Is my cousin. Would you mind to stay with us?"
The room was quiet, until you gave Bofur and her a smile.
A few months later, Bofur was reading you a book before bed. You snuggled into the blaket, and closed your eyes. Bofur gently patted your head.
"Good night, little one."
"G'night, daddy," you muttered.
Bofur's face was now having a big, proud father-like smile on, while little tears in his eyes.
Fifteen years later
"You can do it, Y/N!" Kili cheered at you, as you were drinking your ale. You lost your count already.
"And that's it!" You said, as one of your friends fell under the table. You and your uncles - Fili and Kili - laughed.
"Y/N? Y/N!" Your friend came to you, relief on his face. You turned to him, and his cheeks flushed.
"Well, um, it's late, maybe you-"
"Did dad already find out?" You frowned, and he nodded.
"You two get up, we're going home!" You said, looking down - literally, you were taller than both of them - on your uncles.
"Y/N, I remember you being so tiny you didn't reach my waist!" Kili said, and you rolled your eyes.
"I remember the last time you two didn't come home early, and grandma caught us sneaking in," you said, and they shared a look of terror.
Your grandmother and Tauriel were nobody to mess with, and both of them knew that.
"Alright, we're coming-"
When you arrived, you quietly came to your father's room. He recently told you the story, but, you didn't got angry at him. You were happy for him to be there for you, instead.
"We're home, dad." You said, as you noticed him working on a toy he has been talking about recently.
"Hi, little one," he gave you a tired smile. You came close to him, and sat down next to him on a chair, placing the toy carefully down on the table.
"You are tired. Go get some sleep. I won," you smiled. Bofur took off his glasses, and the candle light moved, as he got up from the table.
"Okay, fine. Have a good night sleep," he said. You smiled, got up, and stood at the door.
"Good night to you too, dad. I...I wanted to thank you. For everything." He smiled.
"That's nothing, really."
"To me, it's everything. And don't argue with me, dad. You need that sleep too." You closed the door and walked away, not noticing Bofur's eyes with tiny tears.
Just like the first time you called him your dad.
Tags: @kpopgirlbtssvt @dumbassunderthemountain @guardianofrivendell @luna-xial @lathalea
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flora-and-fauna-111 · a day ago
Oooo so for the Halloween ccontent you wanna write how about teaching kili, legolas and faramir (headcanons) about Halloween and the traditions of it. Maybe the reader is from a small human village who celebrates it.
𝕆𝕗 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖, 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕝!
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ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: Kili x GN ! Reader, Legolas x GN! Reader, Faramir x GN! Reader
ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕥: Oooo so for the Halloween ccontent you wanna write how about teaching kili, legolas and faramir (headcanons) about Halloween and the traditions of it. Maybe the reader is from a small human village who celebrates it.
𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: Mentions of de*th, c*rps*s, bl**d, Halloween themes, poor writing skills
𝔸/ℕ: ℍ𝕚 𝔸𝕟𝕠𝕟! 𝕀 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤!!! 𝔽𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕣 𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 ℙ𝕚𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕓𝕚𝕥 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖. 𝕀 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀’𝕞 𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕦𝕝 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕥. 𝕀 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕟 𝕓𝕖𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟, 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕀 𝕕𝕠 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕤𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕝 𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕚𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕥 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘! ℙ𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕕𝕠 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 ℍ𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜𝕤, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕒𝕥 𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕛𝕚 𝕤𝕠 𝕚𝕥’𝕤 𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕖𝕣 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕖𝕖. 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕝 💫🔮🦇
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- Kili being the troublesome prince, is going to love the idea of giving out tricks. Jumping out in front of people, flinging around fake limbs, flicking lights on and off, the sort of things that annoy people but get a good reaction in the moment… for the person giving out the trick.
- He’ll be so excited over the opportunity to tell his best Orc related stories without someone scolding him. Bilbo didn’t show up to the village, recalling the campfire on the Quest.
- As young as he is, I think Kili would pass on the costumes, or he would do a very basic costume of someone from a television series (implying Middle Earth is a little more advanced at this point). I feel as if I think of Kili to be quite an immature and childish character though I do think he would stick to making remarks about the children costumes rather than sporting his own.
- While he enjoys taking part in some traditional human Halloween events, he’s a bit lost about the idea of celebrating and making a holiday out of spooky things. Watching you string up bat banners and putting fake tombstones in the yard makes him confused, because death, skeletons and walking corpses in his mind is a weird thing to celebrate. Nevertheless, who says no to a day off?
- You can expect a lot of dishonesty from Kili when it comes to trick or treating. Yes, he is a prince and has all the candy he could ever dream of in his kingdom, though according to him, candy tastes better from someone else’s bowl in their yard. Some of the village people had their stashes of lollies half empty by the time Kili had swept the neighbourhood.
- While you talk to him about the upcoming holiday, you are certainly asked a lot of questions in regard to Halloween traditions by Kili. Smaug had caused a lot of devastation, and I can certainly imagine the Dwarvish prince hoping to give the children of Erebor and Dale something to smile about each year instead of being shadowed by grief. Kili is the big brotherly figure to everyone, he‘s got the desire to make people smile and be happy, and observing Halloween in your small village to see how he can incorporate it into the Ereborian court.
- Kili would love carving out pumpkins, and using the carved out pumpkin remains to rub it into either Ori or Fili’s hair, knowing it’ll annoy them the most. If he did it to Dwalin he would be immobile. Be prepared for a creepy pumpkin face, Kili will be putting a lot of effort into it.
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- Legolas, in comparison to Kili, looks at Halloween through the eyes of a mature adult. No trickery, no pumpkin carving, no dressing up. Legolas sees Halloween as more of an opportunity for children to enjoy themselves.
- In saying that, Legolas doesn’t hate the holiday. If it gets you excited and is a holiday you look forward to, he’d be happy to lend an ear and listen to the traditions of Halloween.
- Legolas is prepared with a few ghost stories, despite not being hugely invested in Halloween. He’s an immortal being, there would have to have been a few stories he’d either seen or heard of that could send a shiver up anyone’s spine.
- Much like Kili (Yes, I know they hated each other and are so different), he enjoys seeing children happy. Watching them run around in bloody costumes does in fact give him something to smile at, despite his poker face expression. He‘s happy to spend sometime in your hometown to watch the human children run about dressed as hideous monsters, but also enjoying themselves.
- Highly unpopular with his choice in sweets with the kids of your human village, no matter how much he enjoys their company. Elves are elegant, gracious, vegetarian beings, the only thing that affects them is their wine. Sugar would most certainly be foreign to him, so his “sweets“ would gain a few dirty looks from the kids. It’s up to you to look for candy.
- I think Legolas would partake in a more relaxed Halloween evening (A/N: A.K.A My standard Halloween evening) which would include: Lighting autumn scented candles, watching slasher movies (the classic Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street), eating and reading weird, creepy short stories.
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- Faramir would probably be a lot more similar to Kili on his views of Halloween. Very excited for the holiday, eager to learn of its traditions and happy to see the children of your village excited for it.
- Faramir, as we all know, had grown up in an incredibly toxic household, so I think he would enjoy the opportunity to relax and enjoy the festivities. - He’s an excellent listener. And I don’t mean, he just sits there nodding the entirety of the conversation, he’s always invested in what you’re talking about. When you mention Halloween, and how it’s become a thing in your village, he’s eager to learn about it.
- He’s much more sensitive to the decorations and what Halloween has become. Faramir survived a war, he nearly died, so seeing people lay fake bodies in their front yards for a holiday makes him sick. He’d much rather hang up a few bats and spiders and go overboard with candies and chocolates rather than decor.
- Faramir hasn’t terribly many ghost stories, though he does have some gruesome tales of people getting k*ll*d in wars. Scary nevertheles, but for different reasons.
- Coordinated costumes, of course. Faramir would have the pair of you dress up as either a famous couple from a book series (A/N: You never mentioned whether the reader liked the characters platonically or not, so I’m having both) or a famous duo. Either way, the costume is very sweet and earns a few smiles.
- I can imagine Faramir allowing for the Hobbit’s to join the pair of you once he hears of the fact Halloween is coming up and you plan on celebrating it. When Pippin is small enough to pass for a child, there’s a good excuse to go trick-or-treating at his age.
- All Faramir hopes to do is just let go of his duties for the day. While Aragorn has lifted a few jobs from Faramir, he’s still burdened with responsibilities with his noble standing. To just relax and spend a few evenings learning about what your small, sweet village does once a year can take his mind off of everything in Gondor.
Thank you for requesting!!!
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hobbitsoupbowl · 2 months ago
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when the braincells finally come together and ur helping your brother court his newfound elven love but ur both dumbasses
based on this post:
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rock-on-the-radio · a month ago
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Just rewatched The Hobbit Trilogy again so here’s some shitty memes
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frodo-sam · a month ago
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Mine are the biggest parasites, I’ve got huge parasites!
THE HOBBIT: An Unexpected Journey (2012) dir. Peter Jackson
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prollyaghost · 10 months ago
my favorite scene in the hobbit is when bilbo has to save the dwarves from the spiders and the only thing he can think of to do is to shout very rude things at them to distract them because 1. it shows that bilbo, having been raised in upper-class suburbia, thinks that the spiders will be super offended by his lack of manners enough to chase him 2. it shows that spiders are super offended by his lack of manners and 3. in modern day, it’s the equivalent of shouting ‘FUCKFACE’ at man-eating monsters
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incorrect-lotr-trash · 6 hours ago
Fili: bro I got you some shoes take a look Kili: bro those are expensive... Fili: I have the same pair too, now we are Fili: solemates Kili: bro
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hellsite-users-blog · 4 months ago
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You raise me hobbits being immune to all sorts of poisonous plants and I raise you Bilbo finally getting payback for all the pranks played on him by Film and Kili
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mandolinearts · a month ago
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a hobbit, a wizard, thirteen dwarves, a quest, and a minibus of questionable origins. middle earth shall tremble.
my art for the @tolkienrsb event - please look forward to the amazing fic @ahufflepuffhobbit wrote based on it - On The Road (to Erebor)
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spidertams · 10 months ago
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I made this for some friends that just rewatched BOTFA but you know,,, I think we all might need it 😔🧡
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