#kim burgess x adam ruzek

[kim-ruzek]

Valentine's day

Summary: “That’s it.” Kim announced to Roman as soon as they got back into the squad car. Her head hit the back of her seat with a gentle thud, her neck aching. “I officially hate Valentine’s day.” Sean Roman can be a good partner, sometimes. He can also be a really infuriating one. Unfortunately, today, he chose to be an infuriating one. “Not even married and already out of the honeymoon period, huh?” He snarked and maybe, maybe, he was just trying to be funny, lighten up her mood but if so, he really failed to read the room. It's Valentine's day, Kim is engaged, and yet she couldn't be more unhappy and Adam isn't as clueless as she thinks. Word count: 2.1k Read on ao3

It was the fifth domestic dispute Kim had to break up that did it.

It had been building all day. From the fact that even before this day started she was bone tired, having worked almost non-stop for a few days due to a lack of variable officers for the shifts, to Intelligence also being so busy that between her shift and their case, she had barely gotten to even have a glimpse at Adam, which was really hit home this morning, when she woke up in bed alone, his side cold and finally to her partner talking all day about his ‘ultra romantic’ plans with a girl he had been only seeing for what feels like five minutes.

But the final straw was this fifth (fifth!) domestic dispute which, according to both people involved, merely started because of the number of roses the guy got his girl—a completely and utterly ridiculous reason to chuck the man’s xbox out of the window, if you asked her and, she hopes, literally anyone else.

She’d have also hoped that the guy would also realise it was ridiculous, and she thought so depending the neighbours called them about the way the pair was yelling at each other, but as soon as Kim had informed them that the girlfriend did property damage and she can be arrested for that, the boyfriend had the audacity to be upset with her.

That, probably, was the actual final straw, if Kim was honest to herself.

“That’s it.” Kim announced to Roman as soon as they got back into the squad car. Her head hit the back of her seat with a gentle thud, her neck aching. “I officially hate Valentine’s day.”

Sean Roman can be a good partner, sometimes. He can also be a really infuriating one.

Unfortunately, today, he chose to be an infuriating one.

“Not even married and already out of the honeymoon period, huh?” He snarked and maybe, maybe, he was just trying to be funny, lighten up her mood but if so, he really failed to read the room. Kim glowered at him warningly.

“I take it that Ruzek doesn’t have any plans for the two of you then?” Roman failed to take the warning.

“That’s so not the point. Did you not just witness the same stupid idiocy that I did? This holiday makes everyone go crazy.” Kim sat up straighter, staring at her partner incredulously. Infuriatingly, Roman just laughed at her in response.

“No plans then. No wonder you’ve been in a bad mood all day. And this is an easy day, just a day filled with easy jobs, that’s it. If you had plans, you’d be able to see that and appreciate this day. Everyone knows the only women who bitch on this day is those without a date. Or in your case, a fiance who’s true love is his work instead.” Kim wondered if she could get away with murder. Maybe if she pretended that her and Roman was having an affair, she might be able say it was an act of passion? After all, it is the day of love.

“It’s not Adam’s fault Intelligence has a big case.” Kim, instead, chose to bite back at her partner. Something she regretted as soon as the words left her mouth as she realised that she basically confirmed what Roman thought; that she and her fiance have no plans, and it’s really upset her.

“I don’t know. If he really loved you…” Roman trailed off, but his words still cut deep. Before their work got busy they did have tentative plans to go out, but with everything getting so busy, they never got chance to finish making the plans, so Kim understood, but waking up alone, just reminded her that this was not how she imagined being engaged.

Work can’t be helped, but Kim couldn’t help but wonder if she should read more into Adam’s actions, or lack thereof. After all, he’s barely texted her these past few days and has been radio silent all day—not even responding to her text.

“Oh, don’t be so moody. It’s not his fault,” Roman then said, seeing her frown. Kim was surprised that he was actually agreeing with her but then he continued talking and those hopes were dashed.

“After all, you’re fiance number three. Not especially special, right?”

Yeah, if Kim thought she could get away with it, she might have actually killed him. Some partner, picking at her wound that’s only started to heal.

By the end of her shift, Kim was beyond bone tired and beyond done with the whole holiday. Valentine’s day had always been one of her favourite, even on the days she didn’t have a boyfriend for it. She was the person who, in high school, would get chocolates for her best friends—not that her high school boyfriend particularly liked her doing so. But this might as well sealed in her forever hatred of the day.

It was not how she imagined her first valentine’s day as an engaged woman—she would’ve thought only, but with the way the wedding planning was going, it’s shaping up to look like she’ll spend a couple of years engaged.

The journey home only served to remind her, over and over, just how tired she was, Kim had struggled to keep her focus on the road and already, she was dreading her shift the next day. And Adam would get in late again which meant she was going to bed, alone, again, and she really can’t sleep well without him.

Opening up the front door was a struggle, or at least Kim thought it was being. She struggled to get the key in the door, her hands not feeling like they were very strongly wrapped around the metal, but when she finally managed to insert it, she found that the door was already unlocked.

That was a surprise. Adam must’ve gotten off at a decent time, she thought. Or maybe he’s just stopping by to shower before heading back in, a part of her mind whispered traitorously at her. He’s done that before.

Those thoughts, however, was quickly squashed and instead replaced with confusion as soon as she opened the door. The lights were off, only the lamps on and candles lighting the room.

Candles?

That was the first thing that confused Kim. The next was the trail of rose petals leading into the apartment. She put down her bag, taking off her coat and just leaving it by the door, wasting no time following the trail.

She still felt confused, having expected to come home to the apartment exactly how she left it in the morning, but as she went further into the apartment, it was slowly replaced with a nervous sort of anticipation. Her mind was trying, hard, not to think too ahead, not to theorise of what was going on, but it couldn’t stop her body from ignoring what she was trying not to put into words.

The petals led her into the bedroom, and Kim thought that was where the trail would end, but it didn’t. The bedroom was similarly lit up like the apartment, but the trail continued to lead into the bathroom.

There, Adam was. He was leaning up against the sink, a soft smile on his face—there was some traces of smugness in it, but Kim didn’t mind. The bath had been drawn, all bubbled up with scented candles nearby.

“Adam,” Kim said, looking between him and the work he had done, the first, genuine smile she had pulled in ages breaking out on her face.

“Happy Valentine’s day, darlin’,” He greeted her, before leaning forward to give her a kiss. It was a small one, simple, short, but perfect. Kim restrained herself from deepening it, even though he was oh so kissable in that moment, because she still had things to say—and it’s really hard to talk when you’re kissing and when she kisses him, she really prefers to stay on task.

“What’s all this?” Kim said, stepping toward him as he leant back, getting into his space. Something he was all too willing for her to do, if the way he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her tighter to him was any indication.

“What does it look like? I’m spoiling my very, very hard-working fiancee,” Adam responded, lifting up her head with one hand so that could puncture every word with a kiss on a different part of her face.

“You’re not the only one with a hard working fiance. I thought you’d still be at work.” Kim told him while snaking her arms around him, relishing in feeling his warmth against her.

“We’re engaged, you’re more important than work.” Adam shrugged, and maybe it is just that simple, and maybe she should’ve just left it at that, but she just couldn’t, not entirely.

“Hm. You didn’t reply to my text.” Feeling him, having him in her arms and her in his, seeing him be the romantic doofus she loves, it washes away all the irritability she was feeling all day, took away the her Adam withdrawal but it doesn’t take away all the hurt she felt.

To Adam’s credit, he did look a little shamed. “I know, darlin’. I was trying to finish up everything I had to do at work so that I could guarantee Voight would let me go home on time. I mean, I cleared it with him—well, Al—but you know the man. And by the time I realised you had messaged me, it was getting to the time to clock out so I thought… I’m sorry.”

That mollified Kim a little bit more.

“Is that why you left so early today?” She didn’t think she would be bringing up that, not wanting to sound so desperate when she knows, she knows, how demanding their work can be, but with what he had just said, she felt emboldened.

“Yeah. You’ve been working so much I didn’t want to wake you before your alarm. Plus you looked very adorable, I couldn’t even think about disturbing you.” At that, Adam kissed her again, briefly on the lips, then on her jaw, before kissing her neck. Kim decided to let go of the hurt, he’s not perfect but he tried and she loves him so damn much.

“Now, enough chatting. You’ve got a bath to soak in, before it gets cold. I didn’t time it this well just for you to distract me.” Adam pulled back, and Kim couldn’t help but pout at the sudden lack of contact.

“I don’t want the bath, I want you.” She pouted, only to have Adam shake his head.

“Later, darlin’. C’mon, let me spoil you.” Adam was undeterred. It was sweet, if not a bit frustrating, and when he started to help her undress, Kim knew it wasn’t for sexy time reasons.

“Adam,” Kim whined. “Look, I appreciate all this, I do, but we’ve barely seen each other recently and we might not get another evening like this, so please. Can we have sex? I’ve missed you and I need you—and if it’s between a bath or you, I choose you.”

Kim’s body ached, her over-worked muscles would’ve probably appreciated the soak, but Kim’s need for Adam, for just to rejoice in having physical contact with the love of her life, that was what she really wanted and their time was so precious. And sex with Adam, while it could be quite the workout, also always made her feel so boneless and relaxed afterwards, which her muscles would’ve also appreciated.

“Kim. You don’t have to choose. No, look—so I was going to tell you this after, but since you’re so bloody stubborn, here. We’ve both got the day off tomorrow, so if you want, we can spend the whole day in bed. But right now, you need to relax.”

Kim frowned. “No we don’t?”

“Yes, we do. I’ve sorted it, don’t worry. I’ll tell you more later, I promise, but can you just please, please, just let me look after you. Shut off that beautiful mind of yours, okay, baby,” Adam stroked back some of her hair he had released from her ponytail and it was just a simple action but it just hit home what was happening: here, she had the man she loves, her fiance with her, time to relax and just be with him, everything she’s wanted for days, everything she spent all day moping about… and she was trying to ruin it, ruin this wonderful surprise Adam had prepared for her.

So she did what he asked, and she just let herself be.

And maybe, just maybe, she didn’t hate Valentine’s day after all.

#burzek #chicago pd #kim burgess #adam ruzek #ree.fics #ree.writing #kim burgess x adam ruzek #chicago pd fanfiction

[torreshalstead]

all of it

Summary - She was finally back in his arms, arms that provided her the comfort they always had. It had taken them a long time to get here, but they had made it.

Post 10x17 morning after fic.

Notes: Rated T - AO3 Link

The first time was frenzied, hands roaming over any piece of bare skin they could find. His beard scratched her neck as he littered it with open mouth kisses, all the while his hands worked to remove himself of his last items of clothes, and rid her of hers. It was fast, it was messy, but it was honest. The pair had spent so much time apart that in the act of coming together now, neither wanted to waste a second. And any inch of their bodies that were not connecting, felt like a waste.

The second time was gentle, slow, filled with whispers of love, of thanks, of care. Adam had stopped to press kisses to the newest additions to Kim’s scar collection, looking up at her under his eyelashes as he did so, the love evident in his eyes. She fell apart in his arms, holding on as tightly as she could, fingers clawing at his back, heels locked around his hips. They stayed joined together afterwards, her face tucked tightly into his neck, refusing to be separated from him.

Being with Adam was like coming home. His touch was familiar, his voice whispering in her ear, the soundtrack she loved to play. He knew exactly how to get her where she needed to be. He always had. But tonight had been different. He had known that they both didn’t want to waste time, that they needed to be together as quickly as they could, it was a carnal need. But that it also needed to be something more, something they both felt on a higher level.

They had fallen asleep shortly afterwards, the exertion from their physical activities mixed with the emotions that the pair had experienced over the last few hours getting the best of them. When Kim awoke, it was still dark outside. The arms tight around her provided her the comfort they always had, that she had always seeked. The heartbeat steady under her head proving that it hadn’t been a dream.

She felt at peace, for the first time in a very long time. She felt sure of her emotions, of what she wanted, of what she deserved. She had spent years persuading herself that she didn’t feel for Adam what she clearly did. Of pushing the emotions down, of silencing them, of listening to others when the only person she should be listening to was herself. Persuading herself he didn’t feel the same, despite his countless attempts to prove otherwise. And yet, when she had finally let down those walls and told him, he had shown her that he felt the same.

She pulled herself regretfully from his arms, she would stay in them forever but right now she was gasping for a glass of water. Picking up his discarded flannel, she wrapped it around herself and tugged up her underwear. They were alone in the house but they hadn’t closed the curtains in the living room or the kitchen when they returned home. They had been slightly preoccupied, she smirked, but the neighbours didn’t need a free aftershow.

Padding barefoot into the kitchen, she took a second to look around. If you’d have asked her 5 years ago if she’d have ever thought she’d have ended up here, she would have politely disagreed. And yet here she was, here they were. She was a mom, Adam was the father she had always dreamed he would be and their daughter was the light of their lives. He had bought them a house, bought them a home and when it had seemed like it might be too much, had offered it to them with no strings attached. Willing to give up his family home, so her and her daughter had a place to call theirs. And now they were this modern family, the one they had discussed all those years ago when for a small moment in time they were going to bring a life into the world together, only to have it harshly ripped away from them.

The modern family may have just become a little less modern tonight, Kim thought to herself as she filled a glass of water and leant against the counter. Her gaze landed on the fridge which was covered in various art projects Makayla had brought home from school or done at home. The classic family image of the child and two parents, the house with the chimney in the background. Everything that Kim had always wanted. Everything she now had.

Returning quickly to her room, where she’d left Adam sleeping on his back, she lent against the door frame. The moonlight was filling the room, his bare chest reflecting the light, sheets pooled down by his hips. She obviously found Adam attractive, had from the moment she had met him 10 years ago now. But seeing the man he had become, she was so madly in love with him. She let herself a moment to just take in his beauty, to appreciate the body that had made her feel such incredible things just hours previously, the dull ache between her legs her own personal reminder, one she relished.

He stirred, the apparent lack of Kim in his arms waking him from his slumber. He rubbed his hand over his eyes and propped himself up on his elbow looking over at where she was still leaning against the door. ‘Darlin’ you okay?’ his voice thick with sleep, the old endearment sliping easily past his lips.

‘Just needed a drink,’ she said softly, a small smile tugging on her lips when she noticed his gaze drag down her body, taking in the shirt she was wearing, his shirt, open against her chest, the expanse of skin leading down to her lace trimmed underwear, his eyes roaming down her bare legs. ‘Didn’t get enough of an eyeful last night?’ she said with a smirk.

‘No such thing,’ he said smugly. ‘Coming back to bed?’ he asked and his smile grew when she nodded, climbing in next to him. Lying on her stomach, her head on his chest, arm thrown over him and legs tangled together. They fitted together like puzzle pieces, meant to be.

‘What time do you need to go back under?’ Kim asked, her voice quiet in the dark room, her fingers tracing meaningless shapes against his chest. She felt his arm tighten just a fraction more around her at the words, the acknowledgment that they would need to pull themselves into the real world at some point. That the real world for Adam right now was more dangerous than it usually was, something that she didn’t wish to linger on.

‘I should probably check in about lunch time,’ he said, his voice muffled by her hair as he had tucked his face into it when she had returned to the confines of the bed.

‘Okay,’ Kim’s voice was even softer now as the pair fell back into silence. Their steady breathing the only sound.

‘This is it now Kim,’ Adam said after a while. He was clearly attempting to keep his voice steady but it faltered slightly at her name and Kim could hear his heartbeat picking up slightly from where it was vibrating against her cheek. ‘Us,’ he continued. ‘I can’t go back to anything else.’

‘This is it,’ she echoed, tapping her forefinger against his chest three times, in the hopes he would understand the meaning, ‘we’re it.’

‘All of it. The proposal, the getting married in some bad banquet hall, the babies, the job, the mess, the whole thing.’ Kim’s hands stilled a second, shocked to hear her own words echoed back to her. She pushed herself up on his chest so she could look into his eyes.

‘You remembered?’ she asked, pushing her hair back off her face.

‘When the woman you’re in love with lists the reasons she doesn’t think you want to be with her, you remember,’ Adam said, reaching out to cup her cheek, his thumb smoothing gently under her eye, his stare full of love. ‘I always wanted it, you know, all of it.’

Kim nodded, knowing his words to be true. ‘We’re in a better place now’, she said. ‘If we’d have gone for it all then, I’m not sure we’d have made it here.’

‘I know. But I just needed you to know. You’ve always been it for me Kim. And I would have waited for years if that’s what you needed.’ His words tugged at her heart strings, the ones that had been broken years ago when she had walked out of the locker room without the ring that until that moment had been her most prized possession. It took a long time to heal, to let him back in, her walls had been a fortrice for a long time. Maybe too long. But they had healed. And they had grown stronger, she had learnt to heal them herself, to make them stronger. And when she had finally let him back in again, his strength had added to them, tangling his love for her around her love for herself and allowing her the opportunity to risk them breaking again. Because without risk, could there be love?

She had risked it all taking in Makayla, knowing that her relationship with Adam, her relationship with anyone would never be the same again. But it had been worth every ounce of risk. Her daughter was her pride and joy. She had risked it all going back to work, to a job that had almost killed her, had put her through hell. But she loved her job, she was a damn good officer and was willing to risk everything to serve and protect the people of this city. And slowly she had let herself risk heartbreak again by getting close to him once more. She kept him at arm's length for a time, easier to pretend what she felt for him wasn’t true. But with everything he did, everytime he showed her the man he was, that distance had lessened. She risked it again when she agreed to move in with him, knowing that it was inevitable that they would end up like this. But also knowing that unless she let him in, he would also keep her at a distance.

But here, in his arms, it had been worth it all. They were stronger now, stronger together. They were a family.

‘I know,’ she said quietly after realising she had been staring at him for possibly too long. ‘I just needed to get here, so thank you’.

Adam raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

‘For being patient with me. For being by my side through all of it. Through the scaredness, the numbness. I’m not sure where I’d be without you,’ her eyes began to swim with tears.

‘It’s where I’ll always be,’ he said, reaching down to press his lips against hers. It wasn’t like the kisses they had shared before, the frenzied ones, the slow ones, this one was full of promise. A promise that the life they had always dreamed about sharing was within reach, that it was possible. That it was theirs.

#burzek #Kim burgess #Adam ruzek #Chicago pd #one Chicago #burzek fic #burzek fanfic #kim burgess x adam ruzek #one chicago fanfic #chicago pd fanfic #burzek fanfiction #chicago pd fic #chicago pd fanfiction #one chicago fanfiction #one chicago fic

[anotheronechicagobog]

Kim: what in the world were you thinking?!

Adam: releasing birds at weddings is romantic.

Kim: you released ostriches!

#one chicago #chicago pd #but not mine #kim burgess x adam ruzek #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek

[fighterkimburgess]

Good At This

Summary: Adam Ruzek has the girl, and a daughter. His worries about not being enough are mostly in the past. But when he comes out for breakfast and sees his daughter wearing the one piece of his mentor he has left, he and Kim get to share parts of the man who helped them become who they are with her. With thanks to @sylvies-chen because this is so much from Abby.

Words: 1.9k

Warnings: Bob Ruzek’s A+ Parenting, mentions of a not-so-great childhood

—

Living in his childhood home again was a lot easier than Adam had ever expected. He’d thought that it would be tough to be faced with the memories of his parents marriage breaking down, of his stepmom moving in - and moving out with yelling. Of finding his dad’s blood pooled on the floor there. Seeing that every morning might kill him, but it was worth it to keep their daughter safe and happy.

But instead of all of that it was a home, his old swing set in the back yard getting fixed whenever he had a few spare hours so Mack could attempt to do a loop the loop. He tripped over her toys in the living room, reminding her with a look and soft words to pick them up. There were nights where he sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between he and Kim as they watched her put on a new show for them.

Adam was getting to raise his daughter to be happy and healthy, giving her the new, wonderful memories that he’d always wanted. Replacing the ones of shouting parents he had with joy and laughter when they went over old photos from his childhood and she chuckled at how he looked as a baby. When she finally met Sammy, all two years her older and they played soccer in the back yard in the goals he and Kate had played in. His name was going on her new birth certificate, the agreement he and Kim had come to - after Mack had final approval - that she’d be a Burgess but he got to be her legal father. How could he ever complain about that?

And then at night, in the bed they’d brought from Kim’s old apartment, he got to curl up with her in his arms. She was the last face he saw at night and usually the first he saw in the morning. It was work - a lot of hard work - but he got to be a dad and love Kim and be loved by her and Mack so he was delighted to do it.

Thankfully this Saturday was their DO, and he had plans to finish reinforcing the woodwork on the swings, the two by fours waiting in the shed for him. Once that was done it was a couple of coats of wood varnish and the set was ready for Mack to start playing on. She’d already talked to them about asking a girl from her class to come over after school, and he wanted to make sure it was ready for her first official play date. Adam finished dressing in clothes he didn’t mind getting dirty, coming out and down the steps to the scent of pancakes when he stopped dead on the last step to watch Kim and Mack. There were three plates ready on the table, but Makayla was wearing an oh too familiar grey and brown flannel. It swamped her tiny frame, the shoulders reaching down nearly to her elbows, despite her recent growth spurt.

”Hey Kim?” His voice was slightly strangled as his girlfriend - the word never failing to make him smile - turned to him. “Where’d you get that shirt for Mack?”

”Laundry. It looked clean enough, someone spilled syrup on herself. Is it ok?” Kim ran her hands over their daughter’s hair and Adam just smiled, blinking back his emotions.

”Yeah. It was Al’s.”

“I didn’t…” She trailed off and came over to hug him, the pressure firm between the two. His fourth anniversary had come and gone, and it would soon reach the point where he was gone for longer than he’d been in Adam’s life. That he was gone too soon still hurt so much.

”Who’s Al?” It was Mack who interrupted his thoughts, calling over to them as she pulled the two long sleeves up to reveal her hands. The pancakes on her plate were in the middle of a syrup lake, the sticky sauce dripping onto the table. When he was a kid that would have led to yelling from his dad, the kind that made him afraid to say or do anything for the rest of the day. Instead he and Kim wiped up the mess and put some paper towels down before sitting down. It was syrup, it could be cleaned. His daughter’s happiness was more important.

”He…” Kim trailed off and Adam looked at her, his foot hooking around her ankle for comfort. How did he explain who Al had been to them? How did he say it without talking about the danger they’d been in that Al had helped with?

”We used to work with him. He was a good cop, and he helped me get my head out of my ass about Kim. I’ll show you a photo when we finish breakfast, ok?”

It was jokes during the meal, Makayla insisting that she hadn’t poured too much sugar on her breakfast. Even Kim laughed at her antics as the sugar rush set in, giving Adam a syrup sweet kiss. He pulled up a photo of Al on his phone to show Mack, the seven year old nodding seriously as he did before disappearing to her room to read.

The thoughts of Al were in the back of his mind all day, but it was the kind of warm summer day that he could get his chore list done. The final nails went into the swings, a first coat of varnish on so Mack could get on them in a couple of days. While he was out in the sun he got the lawnmower out to trim the grass that had sprouted up high in the last week. Kim had started a veggie patch in the corner of the garden that was flourishing, bright yellow flowers turning to tomatoes, peppers, and beans. Once he finished mowing it got added to the compost pile and he laughed at just how domestic his life had become. And he wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

Their Saturday night routine involved getting either Chinese food or pizza and watching a movie, the three of them eating from the couch. That evening it was deep dish and the AC blew towards them to make the high temperatures a little more bearable. He’d watched Moana more in the last year than he ever thought he’d have watched it in his life, but this was his life and it was pretty much perfect. There was nearly nothing he’d change in it, his daughter and his girl in his arms.

“Adam? Can you tell me about Al?” Mack was quiet between them as the movie ended, looking up at him. She’d changed into pjs after her shower, curled up between the two.

“What do you want to know?” Kim was also quiet beside him, the two waiting to go with what their daughter wanted.

“Just about him. You looked sad earlier. Do you miss him?”

“Yeah, I do. I miss him a lot.” He swallowed, Kim squeezing his arm in comfort before he spoke. “Al’s the guy who helped me start working in Intelligence. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have met Kim, and we wouldn’t have been there that day when we found you. Wanna know one of the first times I hung out with him?”

“Yeah!” The thoughts of another movie were abandoned as a little girl stared up at him with love and wide eyes.

“It was a couple of weeks after I started, and I didn’t know if I was doing a good job. You know when you’re not sure, but you’re afraid to ask in case you’re not doing good?” She nodded, curling in against him more. “It was like that. But I was out with Al and a friend, and my friend asked Al how I was doing in work. He said I was better than he was when he started being a cop. That meant a lot.”

“You made me feel safe when you found me.” She never really talked about that day with them, more giving oblique references to her life before with her Mommy rather than talking about it. “I was scared but you looked after me. You make me safe.”

“That’s what we’re here for, kiddo. Always gonna do that. And now, it’s bedtime. Who do you want a story from?”

“Both of you?”

They knew that soon she’d be too old to get a bedtime story, that at seven and three quarters most kids would have stopped by now. But while Makayla asked them for a story they would gladly give it to get to spend more time with their girl.

She crawled into the middle of the bed, Adam on one side and Kim on the other as Kim pulled out the Ramona Quimby book they were on. Before she could start Makayla took her hand, closing the book.

“Will you tell me one of your stories about Al?”

“Yeah…sure…” It was clear to him that Kim wasn’t sure what to choose, but she swallowed and nodded, the three curled up in their little bubble.

“A couple of years ago my sister was sick, so I had to take time off work to help her out. She’s fine now, but she needed me then. It was my first day back and it was a tough case, and a man came up to ask what we were doing about it. He called me some names, acting like I didn’t know what I was doing—“

“But you’re a good cop!” Mack interjected, making Kim smile and Adam laugh.

“Kim is the best cop, Mack. The best. Trust me.” He waggled his eyebrows to make his girls giggle, Kim shushing him so she could continue.

“Well I know that now. But sometimes when you come back to something after being away for a while you think you’re wrong, that you can’t do the thing. That’s how I was feeling. But Al stuck up for me, he made sure I knew just how good a cop I am and how good I am at helping people. It’s part of why I’m still one.” Their daughter’s smile was luminous, snuggling under the sheet she used in the heat.

“He sounds good. I wish I got to meet him.”

“So do I,” Adam murmured, kissing her forehead and helping tuck her in. Her platypus was tucked under her arm by Kim before she kissed their daughter goodnight, the nightlight going on as they took one last look behind them before closing the door.

“Beer?” Kim asked, Adam nodding immediately. She pulled out a pilsner and passed it over, the two sitting on the couch with the popcorn abandoned, tv automatically switched off.

“I think he’d be proud of us, y’know?” Adam began, taking a long drink before continuing. “Communicating, raising a kid together, in a relationship? He kept telling me we needed to get our shit together, that he knew we were meant for each other.”

“He never said that to me.” Kim was quiet, staring at her bottle. “For so long I thought he didn’t like me. I thought he’d hate us back together.”

“He loved you like his own, Kim. I went to his grave when you told me about the baby, asked him for advice. I asked him to look after them after we lost them.”

It was a comfortable silence, each taking sips for a few moments before Kim broke it.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not giving up on us.”

Burzek Taglist: @aruzlover @morganupstead @adamruz @fullwattpadmusictree @redpoodlern @everythingaddictxx @write4life13 @jeanjacketjesus @tuxieboy101-blog @thelittlepterophyllum @planecrazylex @sophiatellerrhodes @ossypooh @kimburgess-ruzek @thestarrynightslover @reidskitty13 @etamne @torreshalstead @itsnotpersonalbut @kellykidd @dedlund82 @pinkwhitebrown @mmacke3613 @upsteadlovingheart @ittybitty-tittycommittee @takemetooneverlanddd @oracle23 @thedefinitionofendgame @burzekwater @butterflylies @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @withakindheartx @bebataylor84 @whoiamwhoistrivetobe @multicouple-lover @keenmarvellover

#burzek #adam ruzek #kim burgess #burzek fic #dailyburzek #Chicago pd #adam ruzek x kim burgess #kim burgess x adam ruzek #adam x kim #kim x adam #makayla ward burgess

[timeguardians]

@protectxthem

----------------

Guilt plunges through Burgess's impossibly large eyes like a sharpened spear, delving to deep enough to strike a nearly palpable chord in her heart. A hole seems to open up, ripping the thrumming vessel at the seams. All she had were empty hands, empty shaking hands to offer him.

He's right. There may come a day where she could not or would nto be able to rescue him ---

No! She can not pursue those thoughts!!! "But I want to be, Adam." She confesses in the undercurrent of an exhale. "That's the point," she leans in. "I want to fight for you." Nearly losing him, it TRANSFORMED her, melded into someone she hadn't been a few hours ago. "You and Makayla are the MOST important things in my life..." The profession and confession are not easily loosened from her tongue, but under the circumstances, she feels they are of upmost importance.

#muse: Kim Burgess #Kim Burgess x Adam Ruzek #protectxthem

[cl-yelland]

Perfect songs for Burzek

For a first wedding dance song

🥰❤️ ‘‘My Best Friend” - Tim DeGraw 

It’s so perfect!!! 

#burzek #kim burgess #adam ruzek #chicago pd #kim x adam #kim burgess x adam ruzek

[fangirlfrom-hell]

Exciting ||Jay Halstead x Daughter and reader

Jay has to take his daughter to work for the first time and he’s not excited about it.

For the one that voted Jay x daughter on the poll (this is not a Christmas story though)

Jay wasn’t comfortable with the idea of taking his 4 years old daughter to work, but seemed like luck was not on his side. The girl was on vacation, Y/N was on a work trip, the nanny got sick, Will was on shift and the little girl’s grandparent’s couldn’t take care of her all day long, so he had no choice. He called Voight, who with his raspy voice and without any problem said “Bring her.”

He sighed, “Ok, baby girl. You are coming to work with me today” He notified his little daughter who was sitting with her short legs hanging from the couch.

“To the police station?” Her eyes were shining bright out of excitement.

“Yea”, her dad chuckled. “Mommy will pick you up later, when she comes back home from her trip, ok?”

“Okay. I am excited!” Excited was the last feeling she learned in school and from then on she would use it for everything.

“I am excited too”, he lied, he was more nervous than anything. “Go get your backpack”, he ordered and when she was gone he muttered to himself, “I’m already running late”

It wasn’t common to take one’s son or daughter to the bullpen, but is wasn’t so strange either. Voight and Al had done it in the past with their kids; Burgess and Adam had done it with Malayla too, even Kevin had to take his little sister from time to time. This was the family Hank talked about.

Jay went upstairs with a small pink and shinny backpack with unicorn form on his arm, making a funny contrast with the gun hanging from his hips.

“Where’s the baby girl?” Adam said when he saw his friend arriving alone.

“Platt stole her from me”, he answered. He would have arrived even later if he had waited for Trudy to give her back to him. Kim smiled at the image.

“We haven’t seen her in a while”, Al peeked his head from his hidden desk to participate in the conversation, “A bit of her cheerfulness will do good to this place”

“Well, she is, and I’m quoting, “very excited” to see you all”, the proud dad smirked.

But as much excited as she was, the baby Halstead was very shy to even say good morning to them. As soon as Trudy Platt carried her upstairs, the girl ran towards her father as fast as she could.

“Why are you crying?” Jay asked in a very low voice, while sitting her on his lap.

But the one answering the question was Platt, “She started to worry when she noticed you weren’t around downstairs and then silently started crying”

Ashamed, the little Halstead girl hugged her dad’s neck and buried her face on his shoulder. A chorous of “aw” was heard around. This wasn’t what she expected, visiting the police station didn’t make her feel excited after all.

“It’s alright”, Jay kept whispering into her ear. It was only after a few minutes later that she calmed down, but even when she was acting as if nothing had happened, she was still embarrased.

Al passed by from the coffee room to his desk and handed a coockie to the girl. She hesitated on accepting it, she first turned to her dad who nodded in approval and she stretched her tiny arm to take it.

“Precauted girl. Good”, Olinsky smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Why don’t you take your colors and get to work in your coloring book, hm?” Jay said more like an order as he put her down. He couldn’t really advance in his work if she was there right beside him.

They walked to an unoccupied desk right infront of Adam. The girl climbed the chair as her dad took her belongings out of the unicorn backpack, “There you go. I’ll be right there if you need me. Remember to…”

“…be quiet, shhh” his daughter completed.

She stayed there for a while, coloring different pages. The detectives, specially Kim, would praise her artistic work whenever they had to walk by her side. She liked Kim, that woman was funny, but she couldn’t really take her eyes off of the man who had gave her the cookie: Alvin Olinsky, but he was too busy to noticed.

“Daddy”, she silently stood up an whispered, trying not to distract the people around, “I don’t want to color anymore. I want to draw”

“Uh, let me check if I have something for you to—“

“I have some white sheets in here”, Hailey opened a drawer and handed a bunch to the Halstead girl. She liked Hailey too, she had a bright smile.

“How do you say?” Her father encouraged her before going back to her place.

“Thank you, Hailssss”

She was immersed in her own world, drawing, coloring and cutting. She stood up to get closer to Adam and touched his leg to call his attention.

“How do you write ‘I love you’?” She asked the detective.

“Oh!” He took a notebook and a pen, “Very easy, let me just show you”

Jay looked up to witness the scene, altough he couldn’t hear any word they were exchanching, “Hey, sweetie”, he called out, “Let Ruz work, ok?”

“No big deal” His collegue said handing her the sheet.

A few minutes later, the little girl stood up once more to go with her father. She stretched her hand to hand him a very colorful circle of paper.

“Wow! Is this for me?” Jay exxagerated his emotion, and then melted when he read the phrase ‘I love you’ followed by a crooked heart.

With excitement, she explained it was a cup holder: “Yea, you can put your mug there”. Following orders from such a smooth voice, Jay placed his mug over the gift.

“Just what I needed” He kissed her head. When she withdrew of his side, Jay immediatly took the paper with the witten phrase and placed it in a spot where he was able to see it all the time.

Before going back to sit on her chair, the girl passed by Al’s desk and stood next to him staring, until he finally noticed.

She took him by surprise, a cute surprise, “Hey, you scared me!” That made her laugh.

“What do you like the most?” The kid asked wothout any other introduction, “Ducks or unicorns?”

Detective Olinsky took his time to answer the question. He observed that Halstead’s daughter was wearing a T-shirt full of unicorns, her pink shinny backback also had the shape of a unicorn, so he went by that, thinking it would be the correct answer.

“Unicorns, I love unicorns”

But she didn’t had the reaction he expected, instead she sadenned, “Oh! I was going to draw a duck for you”

Being in a space close to Olinsky, and paying attention to what his daughter was doing all the time, Jay listened and couldn’t help to smile to the reaction of his parter.

“Oh, well, I love ducks too!” Alvin tried to amend his error.

“A duck, then?”

“Yea, a duck!”

And she moved her tiny legs as fast as she could. Both detectives shared a look and laughed.

It didn’t pass a lot of time when the girl was next to Olinsky’s chair again, but this time he noticed. Without speaking, she handed to him the drawing of a duck happily swimming in a lake.

“What? Is this for me?” She nodded. There was something peaceful in his voice that she liked. “Thank you very much! I really love it. What’s this?” He pointed to a brown circle tha was close to the animal. The answer make him smile showing his teeth.

“A cookie”

“Well, this masterpiece deserves to be in a special place” The detective took a bit of tape and pasted the drawing where it could be seen by everyone.

Little Halstead ran to his father to tell him what just had happened.

“That’s not fair!” Adam teased her later on the day. “I want my own drawing too! I showed you how to write that phrase, you gotta remember that!”

“It will have to be another day”, Jay intervened. “Time to pick everything up, your mom’s on her way to pick you up”

“Mommy’s back?” She asked with the same bright eyes she had when realizing she was going to the police station.

“Yeah!” Her dad smirked.

“I am excited!” She stated while putting her stuff back into the backpack.

“Say goodbye, time to go. Mommy’s downstairs”

She waved her little hand to everybody in the bullpen, “Bye bye”. She even peeked her head into Voight’s office, “Goodbye, Serge”

“You are leaving already? Goodbye, little one” Hank said in a very friendly tone, “Come back soon, whenever you want”

She laughed at the idea, “I will”

It was a bit hard for her to walk down the stairs. “Do you need help?” Jay asked with his arms opened to carry her and she jumped to him.

As soon as she spotted Y/N at the desk with Trudy she yelled at her. Jay put her down on the floor when the stairs were over and his baby ran towards her mom, who picked her up in a tight hug.

“Mommy!”

“Ugh, how much I missed you” Y/N said covering their daughter in kisses.

“Me too!”

“Did the detectives threated you good?” Trudy asked, “How was your day at daddy’s work, hm?”

Wothout hesitating and with a lot of emotion, the girl answered “Oh! It was exciting!”

#jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd #jay halstead x daughter #halstead daughter #jay halstead fic #kim burgess #adam ruzek #hank voight #alvin olinsky #hailey upton #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x wife reader #jay halstead x y/n #jay halstead x reader!

[thestarrynightslover]

Maybe We Could Do It Again

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 4,632

Warnings: bickering and fluff.

Summary: Jay meets the Reader as they’re both babysitting Makayla for Adam and Kim and they end up tangled up on the ground and kissing.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Okay, so this is one of the longest fics I’ve written, which might be a little too long but I hope you guys like it and feel free to send feedback! By the way, this is the first time I insert Burzek in one of my fics but I think I got their energy right ;)

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

“Oh my God, Adam! I can’t believe that even when you’re not supposed to do something you get it wrong!” Kim yelled at her boyfriend.

“What the hell-” He even tried to respond but got immediately interrupted for his bad language.

“Adam!” She hissed again, not believing how he could still curse so much now that the two of them had a child in the house.

“Sorry, sorry!” He said, nervously raising his hands, as Kim already peeked through the kitchen doors to see Jay and Makayla pretend like they hadn’t been listening to every word of their conversation in the living room. “It’s just… I remember you specifically telling me to find someone to babysit the kid, so I did it! How is it possible that I’m the one who-”

“Yes! I did ask you two to do that! On Monday! And do you remember what you told me?” He didn’t dare to say anything. “Oh, no? Because I do! I remember you saying, and I quote:” she said, even making finger quotes to emphasize the whole thing, “‘Where the hell am I supposed to find a babysitter for Makayla? None of my friends have any experience with kids!’” Kim shoved it in his face, making a very good point for herself. But, as usual, Adam decided to go against any sign of good judgment and continue to defend himself. He knew he could never let Kim in on it, but Jay himself was one of those who had already heard the officer saying how much he loved bickering with his girlfriend and getting her all fired up against him.

“No, uh! That won’t cut it! You told me, and I quote: ‘Then hire someone! I don’t know! But you’re the one who came up with the date night idea, so don’t come and throw something that should be your responsibility on my shoulders!’, so I knew that I needed to find someone! Kev and Vanessa are visiting his siblings this weekend, so I thought: why not Jay? He’s good with kids, and he offered to help us with Makayla!” Adam concluded, absolutely proud of himself while Kim just rolled her eyes.

“Oh. My. God!!! You do know he didn’t mean that literally, don’t you?” She was already fuming by that point.

“Err-” He had to admit that he’d never stopped to think about that possibility…

“No one means that literally!!” She shouted, this time, making even the neighbors hear their arguing. “No one means that literally, and, now, you’re just making us both look like the cops who can’t take care of their own kid in front of the entire unit.” She stated, in a lower, tone while pinching the bridge of her nose.

“But this is not the entire unit! This is Jay! Our friend Jay, who had offered!” Adam stood by that argument and Kim had already opened her mouth to shoot a remark back when Jay came into the kitchen.

“Makayla’s distracted with the tv.” He started with that so that they wouldn’t be worried. “Uh... Guys, Kim, you don’t have to worry about me telling anyone about this, okay? I won’t. Besides, I did mean what I said before. I’m here to help. Whatever you guys need. Plus, for someone who had plans of watching a game rerun alone at home on a Friday night, babysitting that cute little girl is almost like hitting a jackpot!” Jay assured, giving them a small smile and shiny eyes headed towards Makayla’s direction. Babysitting a kid, when he was probably never gonna have one of his own, was one of the things that he, personally, missed the most about when Will and Natalie were together. Back when Lindsay lived in Chicago, he used to be sure that, someday, he was gonna find someone. Settle down. Build a family. But, now… After everything that had happened, he couldn’t help but feel like his time to do all that had run out. So, instead of mooning over it, he could gladly babysit Makayla.

“Well, um, thank you, Jay,” Kim started, nervously tucking a string of hair behind her ear, “that’s really nice to hear. And we very much appreciate it. But-” She didn’t get a chance to finish as the doorbell rang and Adam rushed towards the apartment’s entrance to prevent his very excited little girl from opening the door by herself. When he got there, followed by the other two adults, Makayla was already standing on her tiptoes, hand-in-handle.

“Hey! Watcha doing, you little adventurous?!” Adam asked while picking her up from the floor and tickling her sides, which made her become a giggling mess. “You can’t just open the door like that, darlin’! You gotta check on the peephole first,” he said, as he lifted her up enough so that she could look through the hole, “like this. See someone?”

“Yes! It’s (y/n/n)!” She squealed out. “Can we open the door now? Please, Adam?” Makayla asked, shooting him pleading eyes, while her body buzzed with happiness.

“Ah, (y/n/n), right,” Adam said simply, opening the door and fearing that Kim would want to restart the whole discussion with him.

“Hey, princess!” And that simple greeting was all it took for Makayla to throw herself from Adam’s arms straight to yours. “Wow,” you laughed at her sudden movement, which had caused you to lose your balance a little, “you excited to see me?”

“Yes!! Did you bring the bakings???” She asked you eagerly, bakings being what she called your cooking utensils.

“No, not today!” Your answer made her face, almost immediately, turn into a sad frown. “But I brought this!” You told her while lifting up a box that read ‘karaoke set’, above a few drawings of a microphone and musical notes. Seeing that, Makayla’s saddened expression shifted in two seconds, eyes lighting up.

“Look, Kim!” The little girl shrieked, more than ready to have what she already knew was about to be the time of her life.

“Yeah, I see that! Seems like you girls are gonna have a blast…” Your friend weirdly trailed off, as her mind tried to find a quick solution to the mess her boyfriend had made.

“Uh…” Was all that a very handsome man you hadn’t met yet managed to let out.

“Jay, um, this is my best friend (y/n). (y/n/n), this is our friend from work Jay. I’m sorry about the mess, guys, it’s Adam’s fault.” Kim spoke again, bluntly accusing her boyfriend.

“My fault??? Are you kidding??? You told me to find someone to watch Makayla 'cause you didn’t want us to keep bothering (y/n)!”

“Guys! It’s no bother at all, really. Hanging out with this little princess is in my best interest, believe me!” You said, quickly defending your case.

“Well, thanks for saying that, (y/n/n). What happened here is that Adam told me he wouldn’t be able to get anyone,” Kim started while shooting daggers into her boyfriend with her bare eyes. “So, since I wasn’t about to just wait for a miracle, I called and asked you to do it. But someone didn’t think about telling me that he had already gotten Jay to come. And now you’re both here, ugh!” She finished, rather dramatically, while pointing a finger at Adam.

That was, seriously, the best couple you knew when it came to bickering.

“Okay, so, um, it’s not gonna be any trouble. I can leave since your colleague got here first and you don’t need to be stressed on your date night, friend.” You tried to bring things to a peaceful ending before Kim turned it into a murder scene.

“Oh, I do need to be stressed! I need to-” She started to debate but got cut off by Makayla’s cute pleading voice:

“But you can’t leave, (y/n/n)! We’re gonna play karaoke!” The little girl clearly had already gotten worked up by your idea for the night.

“Makayla, baby, please don’t be difficult. You hang out with (y/n/n) all the time, and uncle Jay is already here…” You watched as Adam tried to reason with his daughter while she held you really tight.

“No, uh…” Their friend started to say. Was it too weird for you to be thinking about how incredibly cute he looked when scratching the back of his neck like that? “Relax, man, I can go. I bet that you’re gonna have a lot more fun with her than with me, anyways, Mak.” He completed, talking to your little friend with a sweet smile, to which she reacted with a confused frown.

“But- but why does Jay have to leave? Can’t he play karaoke with us, (y/n/n)?” Makayla asked you poutingly.

“Now that’s something I’d like to see!” Adam started to mock but stopped when Kim punched him in the arm. “Ouch! That hurt, you know?”

“I know! That was exactly the result I was hoping for!” She squealed out sarcastically, “Makayla, honey, you can’t just ask both (y/n/n) and Jay to play karaoke, of all things, with you.” It was lovely to watch Kim interacting so patiently with her kid but the young girl still didn’t seem to understand.

“But why???”

“Well, they don’t know each other, Makayla.” Kim tried again but Mak still wasn’t ready to give it up.

“But they know me!” 

“Good luck explaining now, ma.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, all of you 𑁋 Adam himself included 𑁋 knew what was coming, fortunately, Kim just punched him in the arm again.

“You know, guys, you don’t need to fight over something like this, okay? Uh… Since he’s your coworker, I’m gonna assume that he’s one of the good guys, therefore I wouldn’t really have a problem with hanging out with him…” You said because you were never one to say no to little kids. “I mean if that’s okay with you, too, officer…”

“It’s detective, actually. But you can call me Jay, uh, (y/n), right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Well, I don’t have any problems with hanging out with you either,” Jay said and, Jesus, was that really his smile? “I mean, Mak should get all the babysitters she wants!” He told her with a wink. It was official. You were so done for the night.

“Ha!” Kim nervously let out a laugh, “let’s go easy there, cowboy! You can’t just come into my house offering the kid everything she wants.”

“Okay, okay,” the detective started to say with a gesture of surrender while the couple started to get out of the house to give you the space to properly go in. “Sorry ‘bout that, ma!” You could have sworn that you saw him tremble 𑁋 just a little 𑁋 under the deadly gaze your friend sent his way. Adam, who seemed to be off the hook for the first time that night, took the moment to laugh and hope that his girl would forget she had been so mad at him.

“C’mon, darling. Let’s get going before we decide it isn’t very safe to leave Mak with those two.”

"Yeah… I'm already deciding that but maybe they'll prove us wrong." Kim said, voice absolutely faithless. "You behave, Makayla!"

"It's more than obvious that she's going to be the best tonight. Get outta here already!" You heard Jay yelling a little in response to her, as you and Makayla started to get the karaoke set up.

But you, being the lucky person you were, obviously couldn't find your way around your friend's old stuff.

"Uh, you need any help there?"

“No! No, not all! Um, I got this!” You quickly responded because you could be pretty skeptical when it came to admitting your weaknesses and, from your point of view, not getting a simple karaoke set to work was a huge one.

“Alright, then…”

“Are you sure you don’t want Jay to help, (y/n/n)?” Mak asked, sounding way more reasonable than you, the actual adult there.

“Um, err, I guess maybe I could use some help… It’s just that this TV setup is quite different from mine…” You said, still unwilling to let how confused you were really show.

“Yeah, I can help!” you heard Jay as he left his spot in the corner of the room. “I was just ordering us pizza but I can totally help out 'cause Adam and I actually shopped for these TVs together, so I have the same one!” He said, this time, already gently getting the device from your hands before you could even react, which was probably him sensing that you wouldn’t give it up so easily, like he could see right through you.

“Okay, well, since you already ordered the pizza, I’ll go make us some juice.” As you said that you got both of your companions making weird faces at you, so you amended: “Or not, because you already ordered soda too… Just keep in mind that if Kim gets mad because of all the junk food that kid is eating, I’m telling on you, detective!” You said, making a point to stare right into his eyes 𑁋 God, they were so beautiful, was there nothing but beauty in this man’s body?

“Okay, so I think we’re all good here with the karaoke! Who wants to go first?” Hearing that you came of your very dangerous thoughts and Makayla jumped up and down, screaming:

“Me! Me! Me!”

“Alright, little lady, then come pick a song!” Jay told her and stood by to help her with her choice.

About three hours later all three of you had already sung your hearts out 𑁋 Jay having had gone for ABBA, which surprised you and Mak, to say the least 𑁋 eaten lots of pizza, drunk lots of soda and had begun watching a movie, cause you told Jay that that always did the trick when it came to Mak falling asleep. But, God, it was hard to pay attention to the movie you were supposed to be watching when sitting next to a guy like that. And he wasn’t just really handsome. He was sweet and kind and funny. Also, he was so good with Makayla. It was like everything you’d always imagined the perfect man being like was right there, reunited in the detective’s goof self. But you couldn't be thinking those thoughts about him. Not when he was so close. And definitely not when your best friend's daughter was lying on both of your laps.

So, in order to calm your thoughts for a minute, you gently put Makayla’s head on a cushion as you got up 𑁋 because she was already asleep 𑁋, and said I’m gonna get started on cleaning over there.” It was indeed necessary since Mak had dropped all of the content of a big ice cream container near the dining table, the ice cream being very sticky and sort of liquid 𑁋 which was obviously beyond your understanding but who were you to judge Kim and her preferences? 

"Oh God, lemme help you!" You heard Jay saying, as he quickly made his way from the corridor over to where you were cleaning the floor, by the dining table.

"Ah, there's no need for it. I'm used to spending time with Mak, and, then, cleaning up before Kim sees it." You told him with a sly smile.

"Ha! Well, I don't doubt it! You're really good with her."

"And she's really good at making giant messes."

"Right." He said, chuckling lightly. "But, this time, I bet you felt like there were two kids, huh?"

"Your words, not mine, detective."

"Anyways, I'll help. Don't tell Kim and Adam, cause they might spread it across the district, but I'm actually pretty good at cleaning. Especially, when compared to someone who's doing such a lousy job." At that, you instantly snapped your head in his direction.

"What did you just say?" You asked, pretending to be mad while standing up and raising your sponge, as if it was a weapon you were threatening him with.

"Uh… Uh, d- did you know that pulling a weapon on a cop is a crime?" He asked, trying to play along, but stuttering a little.

"And what are you gonna do?" Now that Makayla was asleep… "Huh? Arrest me?" Jesus Christ, you definitely weren't thinking straight, you thought as you watched Jay drop his mop, also spilling all the soapy water on the floor. He even motioned to take care of it but stopped when he realized that you were, now, standing closer. Closer than it was safe for him to be near a woman like you. So he decided to take a step backward, not remembering the floor situation and slipping. As a reflex, you grabbed his shirt when you were obviously not gonna be able to prevent him from falling.

So, you ended up falling with him. On top of him. Oh God, was that living room always so hot? Your thoughts were cut off by Jay's laugh, it was an open-mouthed laugh, just like when you two were interacting with Makayla. He didn't seem to be the kind of guy who got to laugh too much, especially given his job. But it definitely suited his features. His smile, that bright, was so beautiful.

"So you're seriously not even gonna try and get up? Just gonna stay there staring?" Hearing that, you blushed instantly, because you hadn't even realized you were staring.

"Ah, uh… Right." Now, that was your turn to stutter, and Jay was loving every second of it. He thought you looked absolutely adorable like that. Even more so than you had looked all night.

But you weren't feeling adorable at all. You were embarrassed. By the situation at hand, sure, but, also, by your entire behavior that had, pretty much, gotten the two of you in that position. What was going through your head? The answer was simple: nothing. Or, better yet, Jay's gorgeous face, body, and behavior. Just, Jay being gorgeous all night. Now, what really made you wanna dig a hole and jump right into it was when you tried to get up but the floor was so slippery that you just fell back on him.

Needless to say, he was having a playfield. Laughing like there was no tomorrow. In fact, he had relaxed completely under you, laying his head on the soaked floor.

"You know what? This is pretty comfortable. I think I'll stay right here." It was official: you had no self-shame.

"Are you serious?" He asked, trying hard to hold back from laughing.

"Look, I don't know what else to do, okay? And my brain is clearly affected by your little charm, because I just keep mortifying myself over and over-"

"So you think I'm charming, huh?" Damn it. A thousand times damn it.

"Uh… That's not exactly what I-" You couldn't finish your sentence, as Jay started pulling you even closer to him. Kissing you. Oh boy, how he kissed you…

"Oh. My. God." Both you and Jay jumped away from each other, as much as you could, the second you heard Kim say that, her being followed suit by Adam:

"What the hell is that?!?" He half-asked, half-barked at the both of you, trying hard to not burst into laughter.

"Uh, it's, um, it's not what you're thinking, guys-"

"It's not what I'm thinking?!?" Yeah… It was safe to say that Kim was pissed. "Are you sure it isn't? Because the image actually seemed pretty self-explanatory to me!" As the both of you just kept working out a way to get up from the floor, she continued: "I come back home thinking that everything was gonna be perfect because my daughter had two adults babysitting her! People that I thought were quite responsible but, then, I come home to find those very adults making out on the floor in my living room! My very dirty living room! And, by the way, where the hell is Makayla?"

"She, um, she's in her bedroom. Asleep." Jay finally spoke. "And, about the mess… We were just, uh…"

"Yeah, man, we saw what you were just doing," Adam said, looking like he was having the time of his life.

"No! That's not what he was gonna say-"

"Ah, so the two of you got along so well that now you even know what he was going to say, (y/n)?" Kim said, while glaring at you.

"All I meant was that, well, the place got a little dirty…" Jay started to explain but not fast enough.

"A little???" Kim was really, really mad, you realized.

"But dinner was great!" At that, both you and Kim just stared at him incredulously while Adam started laughing on his way to the kitchen.

"That's what you were going to say???" You ask him, not believing you'd just tried to defend him for some joke. "Kim, I'm sorry things ended up this unfruitful…" You began to tell your best friend, to try and patch things up, when Adam chipped in from the other room.

"You know, darling, Jay wasn't wrong! This pizza is great!" He barked, mouth full. And that's what got Kim to go over the edge.

"Don't you realize what just happened here, Adam??? And, you two! I still haven't heard an explanation on what the hell I just saw!"

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! We were cleaning up and then it just-"

"It just what, (y/n)??? It just happened? That what you were gonna say?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, it is! It just happened because you and your boyfriend made me babysit with this ridiculously hot guy and I'm human! Now, before you have another crisis, Makayla didn't see anything and I'm leaving because I just humiliated myself more than enough for a lifetime!" With that said, and your flight or flee instinct activated — cause you were never much of a fighter —, you did the smartest thing possible and stormed out of there, hoping to be able to get into some sort of protection program for embarrassment victims.

Meanwhile, Adam and Kim simply had to laugh, even more so when they noticed Jay's shocked twinkling expression.

"Jay! What is wrong with you?" Kim asked, taking him out of his daze.

"What?"

"Go after her! If I hadn't been so upset about the circumstances, I would've been the first one to say that what happened over there?" She asked, pointing to the floor. "What happened there was hot." The officer finished her trail of thought bluntly, as if it was the most obvious thing.

"But… What about your living room?" Jay asked, still unsure of what to do.

"Are you kidding me? Look, Halstead, if you promise not to break her heart… I won't hold it against you." Kim stated, making her stance on the whole matter very clear. She thought it was a good way to start apologizing to you after freaking out like that.

"Uh, uh, alright!" The detective rambled, looking like he had no idea of what to do next.

“Go!” With that last push, he left his friends’ house to go try and get the girl.

“You know, this is quite a mess but they do have the potential to be a great couple!” Adam happily pointed out, as he kept eating all he could find.

“Ha! If she’s as lucky as I am…” Kim ironically muttered, as she watched her boyfriend impolitely shoving food in his mouth.

“Then she’s a very lucky lady!” He confidently stated with a grin while all Kim could do was laugh at his messy childish ways.

Outside burzek's apartment — burzek being the ship name you used to tease Kim and Adam with —, you had been slowly walking towards the subway. You wanted to move faster but your mind was too full at the moment. And, sometimes, when you needed to get your head back on straight, you couldn't really do anything else, having a hard time concentrating on your flow of thoughts.

It was right when you were beginning to think you had stopped the spirals in your mind that you heard him: "(y/n)!" You recognized the detective's voice on the spot. How could you not, after how he had managed to disrupt your thoughts and actions all evening? But you weren't about to turn back around and have your very own movie ending with him. You just knew it wasn't gonna play out like that and decided to keep walking in order to preserve the little dignity you still had. "Oh, c'mon! Just give me a minute! Please!" That pleading made you turn around, to let him down more politely, which ended up with the two of you almost hitting each other. Once again, that same night, he was too close to you. The proximity with his body sending all sorts of heatwaves through yours. He seemed to be feeling it too, given the way he started to look at you, the damn smirk back on his lips.

"Nu-uh. You don't get to look at me like that. Not after what it did to me the first time."

"Huh. Care to elaborate on that? How exactly am I looking at you?" He asked, moving even closer to you altogether. "And, more importantly, what exactly did it do to you?"

"You don't need me to answer any of that." You pointed out, crossing your arms over your chest — clearly going into defensive mode.

"Maybe not," he started, tilting his head slightly — the damn smirks never leaving his face. "But. I'd like to hear it nevertheless."

"Well, you're not going to."

"Ah, okay." Wait, was he really giving up that easily? "Then maybe I can just try and see what it does to you one more time? For the sake of curiosity." All you could think to say was an enthusiastic 'Yes, please!' but, when he started leaning in to kiss you, you seemed to come back to your senses, pushing him away and taking some steps back of your own.

"Oh my God! Don't you get it? We can't be doing this right now. Not after the way I left things with Kim because of our previous, um, actions!" At that, Jay just gave you a confused look. "I stormed out of there but just because I was feeling too ashamed about it all and I honestly don’t think that I want any more embarrassment for a lifetime.

“Okay, okay. I get that but maybe it would feel less embarrassing for you if you knew that I was feeling all of that too: all of that buzzing energy and the goddamn butterflies and everything. You were doing exactly the same I did to you to me. And, as embarrassing as it was to be caught like that by Adam and Kim, I still can’t say I regret any of it. In fact, I was thinking that maybe we could do it again? You know, minus all the mess and the kid 𑁋 I mean, I adore Mak but that would be-” 

You didn’t care to listen to the rest of all he had to say. Instead, you threw yourself into his arms, even making him lose his balance for a second, and started kissing him, except that this time it was a slow, hot, and thought-through kiss. And the second you did kiss him, you heard clapping and whistling from afar, as you turned to find Kim and Adam there, once again witnessing you and Jay kiss. And that had Jay whispering to you:

“Let’s get out of here?” To which you responded simply with a:

“Yes, please!”

#jay halstead #chicago pd #one chicago #fanfiction #imagines #fanfic #jay halstead fanfic #jay halstead imagine #flirty jay #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagines #jay halstead fanfiction #reader insert #one shot #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fic #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd fanfic #one chicago x reader #one chicago fanfiction #one chicago imagines #one chicago imagine #uncle jay #makayla ward burgess #burzek family #burzek #kim burgess #adam ruzek #burstead #jay halstead x y/n

[sevcasejay1chicago]

I gotcha Partner- Jay Halstead

Summary: After chasing down a suspect, you have a bad asthma attack.

Warnings: none that I know of.

Authors note: Jay’s installment in the platonic asthma fics. ❤️ Enjoy!

—————————

You have been Jay Halstead’s partner since Erin Lindsey left 2 years ago. You had been friend prior to this partnership, having met at Molly’s as well, so the partnership was easy to fall into. You knew each others quirks well, but you also knew each other’s medical history very well given all the near deaths you two have experienced since being partners. You have never experienced more near death experience on the job before working with Jay Halstead.

Today, you and Jay, along with the rest of the intelligence unit, are sitting on a suspect’s house. This individual has been indicted for multiple counts of aggravated assault and battery, leading the unit to believe that he is involved in a string of assaults at a few night clubs he has been known to frequent. He’s smarter than most criminals. He makes sure not to hit the same club multiple times, but to randomly jump around to throw off any suspicion.

You and Jay were sat in his truck, idly chatting about Matt’s move into the apartment with you and Kelly, when the suspect pulled into his driveway. You both straightened up as Voight began to speak.

“Suspect has landed. Suspect has landed. Use caution. Don’t spook him.” Voight instructed through our radio.

Jay grabbed our tac gear from the backseat and handed me my own. We suited up before slowly pulling the truck to block the end of the driveway. Burgess and Adam came up one side while Voight and Atwater came up the other. You noticed blood on his door handle and quickly jumped out of the truck and rounded it to grab the guy.

“Chicago PD!” You yelled, announcing yourself before moving to grab the suspect. Unfortunately, he was quick to react and shoved you into Kim before running down the small alley way next to his house. “Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit!” You yelled, quickly standing to your feet to pursue. You were the smallest and the fastest, next to Kevin.

You heard Jay flip the sirens and say he was going to cut him off. Kevin was on your heels, cursing about how the perps always run but they can’t run from you all. You shook your head, pushing through the burning in your chest. You were still recovering from your attack a few days prior, so you definitely weren’t in top shape.

You saw the end of alley way, thanking God that this run was coming to an end. Just as the suspect reached the end of the alley, Jay pulled the truck to block it and held the suspect at gun point through the window.

“Put your hands up.” Jay growled, seeing the blood on the suspect’s shirt and knuckles.

You stopped running, coming to a halt at the back of the truck with your hands on your knees. You were having trouble catching your breath as an audible wheeze left your body. You dizzily grabbed the bumper as you sunk to the ground. Jay saw you and quickly jumped out of the truck as Kevin cuffed the perp.

“Y/n?!” Jay yelled, crouching down in front of you. “Jesus. Your blue.” Jay muttered, taking your face in his hands for a second. You were ice cold. “It’s okay. I gotcha partner. Up we go.” Jay muttered, pulling you into his arms and rounding the truck.

“She okay?” Voight asked, coming to open the door for Jay.

“She will be. She’s having an asthma attack.” Jay said over your wheezes. He dug around in the glove box until he unearthed your inhaler. “Alright sweetie. Let’s do this.” Jay shook the inhaler before helping you squeeze the trigger as you attempted to breathe.

“Here. I got a pulse ox from the first aid kit.” Kim said, jogging back from her and Adam’s car. She handed the device to Jay before moving back to give you and Jay some room.

They all waiting on baited breath as the pulse ox read. High heart rate and oxygen level fluctuating between 83-85. Their eyes grew wide at the reading, concerned given that your inhaler should have opened you up by now.

“I’m taking her to med.” Jay said, buckling you in and shutting the door.

“I will give you an escort.” Voight said, quickly running to his SUV that Kevin pulled around after placing the suspect in the back of a patrol car.

“5021 George to Med” Jay said into his radio, lights and sirens blaring as he drove.

“Go ahead for Med.” April said.

“April. Y/n is having a bad asthma attack. Cyanotic, high pulse, O2 is low to mid 80s. Rescue inhaler administered and not helping. ETA 5 minutes. ” Jay reported, glancing over at you as you shook. “Shhh. I gotcha partner. I’m gonna get you help.”

“We will be waiting at the door. Med out.” April said.

Jay put his radio back on the dash before reaching out to take one of your shaking hands in his own. “Almost there. You are doing great.” Jay encouraged, trying to hide his worry.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #jay halstead #fluff #comfort #jay halstead x reader #kim burgess #hank voight #kevin atwater #adam ruzek #asthma attack #platonic

[adamruz]

Adam Ruzek, Kim Burgess & Makayla in CHICAGO P.D. 10.18 "You Only Die Twice"

#THEIR SMILES 🥹 #DAD!!!!! #adam ruzek #chicago pd #kim burgess #burzek #adam x makayla #makayla burgess #s10 #10x18 #lexi.edits #cpdedit #chicagopdedit #tvarchive #crimeshowsource #otpsource #userranch #burzek x makayla

[saragarnier]

Departure

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: Jay is y/n husband and he left her for eight months to go to Bolivia. When he came back, he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw his wife again

Warning: none i guess, maybe a little bit of angst

English is not my first language, sorry if there’s some mistakes!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

When your husband came home that day asking you to sit down on the couch, you didn’t think that he was going to say what he actually said. You two worked at Intelligence for four years and you didn’t think possible for him to change the way he did. When you first met him you immediately knew that he was kind, gentle and a good cop: you knew that he would have done everything to help innocents and to stop criminals, you knew that he was a good person.

And then something changed.

You didn’t know if that was because of his partener, Hailey Upton, or because of Voight; you just knew that you didn’t recognize him anymore. You even talked about it with Adam, your partner, but you weren’t able to find a way to help him get through that.

You just wanted him to be happy again, you just wanted him to be himself again.

That’s why you let him go.

When he told you that he accepted the job in Bolivia you couldn’t believe it, you just couldn’t.

Was he running away from the unit or was he running away from you?

You didn’t know what was true, but you couldn’t just deny him to be happy again: if he needed to go, you would have let him go.

And that’s exactly what you did.

“It will be for eight months maybe a little longer, okay? I will be back home soon.” He said that day, kissing your forehead with glossy eyes. “I love you… i really do but i need to do this. Please don’t be angry with me, i’ll come back to you, i promise. You’re the love of my life, y/n.”

When he left some minutes later to take his flight, you fell on the ground, crying; you needed him near you, you needed him there with you but you just couldn’t deny him to be himself again.

That’s why you didn’t tell him the truth.

That’s why you hid it from him.

When Kim knocked at your door that night after having heard about Jay, you let her in and you just walked back to the couch, where you cried all day.

“Y/n…” she whispered, walking towards you and hugging you tightly. “It’s okay. It’s temporary, right? He will come back, okay?”

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t nod or shook your head in response, you just kept crying again and again and then, after some minutes, you spoke.

“We perfectly know that he can die there.” You said, finally telling the truth, finally admitting out loud what you had in your mind all day since he talked to you.

“Oh, y/n…” she kept hugging you and she also placed her hand on your shoulder, trying to reassure you in some way. She wanted to say something, she wanted to help you go through all of that but her eyes fell on it.

It was on the table in front of the couch, exactly where you placed it after Jay left.

“What’s that?” She asked, keeping her eyes on the small object; she reached it and she looked at the result when you didn’t complain about it, then she looked up at you, shocked. “You’re pregnant?”

You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted be alone in your thoughts, but Kim was there trying to help you and you really appreciated that, that’s why you just nodded, answering her.

“Does Jay know about it? Did He really leave you here alone knowing that you’re pregnant?”

Kim knew the answer deep down, she knew that Jay wouldn’t have left you there knowing that you were pregnant but she needed to know it for sure; when you shook your head saying “no”, she hugged you tighter.

“Oh, darling.” She whispered, caressing your back slowly and gently. “You should’ve told him, Y/n, i’m sure he wouldn’t have left knowing that.”

You sobbed, then you looked up at her and you shook your head again.

“T-That’s why i-i d-din’t tell him. He needed t-to go Kim, i c-couldn’t stop him.”

“But he had the rights to know the truth before taking such a decision!” She replied, shaking her head in disagreement.

“When he came here telling me about the job in Bolivia he already took it, he accepted it without even talking about it with me. I would have told him if he hadn’t already accepted it. He told me that he had a flight in few hours, how could i have told him? I know, after all, that he’s lost. He’s not himself anymore and, if taking that job is going to help him, then i will accept it. He said, after all, that’s only for eight months.” You said, even if he said that there was the possibility that he needed to stay a little longer. “When he will be back home, i will still be pregnant and he will be able to be here when our baby is born.”

Kim didn’t agree with you but you was still shocked, that’s why she didn’t say anything: she just hugged you, promising you that she would have help you.

And she did, as all your unit.

Kim, Adam, Hailey, Kevin, Hank and also Trudy helped how they could.

In the next months they helped you, they came to your house to keep you company and they accompanied you to the hospital every time you needed to do a visit.

You were never alone after all, but you knew, however, that the most important person for you wasn’t there. You couldn’t blame him since you didn’t tell him the truth, but still you missed him so much.

Your baby was healthy but he, or she, wasn’t ready to be born yet, even if one week passed since the due date.

In some ways you were relieved because you really wanted Jay to be there when you would’ve become a mother. Every single time someone knocked at your door or every single time your phone rang, you panicked, afraid that something happened to your husband while he was still in Bolivia. You didn’t talked to him in the last few months, mostly because you didn’t want to distract him during a mission and because you were always afraid of blowing his cover.

That’s why you hardly talked to him or contacted him on the phone, and he did the same thing for the same reasons.

Until you didn’t hear anything about him from the army, you knew that he was okay, you knew that he was still alive. And every day you kept going on, holding on this thought, holding on the fact that no one called you, so he had to be safe, he had to be alive.

You didn’t know when he would’ve returned home, but you just hoped that it was soon; you couldn’t get through labor without him by your side.

That day you was ready to go to the hospital for another visit with your gynecologist. You asked Adam to come with you and he immediately accepted; that’s why, when you heard someone knocking at your door, you thought it was him.

“C-Coming.” You said, trying to get up from the couch where you were waiting for him. Your belly was so big that it was difficult for you to get up easily. “Just give me one minute, i’m trying to get up from the couch.”

At the other side of the door there was not at all Adam, there was Jay with his bag on the shoulder, happy to be home again, happy to be able to see his wife again. But when he heard you saying that she was having difficulties getting up from the couch, he froze, thinking that you might have been hurt at work.

Before he could say anything, the door opened in front of him and he immediately looked at his wife; he was left speechless, standing in front of the door frame, looking at his wife that was definitely pregnant.

“J-Jay?” You whispered, shocked. You didn’t expect him to be there, you thought that he would have informed you before coming home, but he was there, in front of you in all his beauty. Being so far from him for almost nine months was hard for you: you went through hell alone, especially when you almost lost your baby, and having him in front of you was like a dream. You definitely thought that you were still dreaming.

“You’re pregnant.” He said, unable to look away from your belly. He let go the bag that he had on his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he just couldn’t believe it. “Am i the father?”

That was the first thing that popped into his mind when he saw you and he immediately regretted saying that out loud when he saw your face.

“What do you mean? Are you really thinking that i slept with someone else just right after your departure? You’re my fucking husband, of course you’re the father.”

You were so angry.

You didn’t even realize it till that moment.

You were so angry because he left you alone with a baby in your belly, even if he didn’t know it, even if it wasn’t his fault since you decided not to tell him the truth. But you were definitely angry: he stayed away for so long and the first thing that he asked you is if you got pregnant with someone else?

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come back!” He said after few moments, still standing in front of the door, still shocked by the news.

“You took the job before asking me what i thought about it, what did i have to do? You didn’t even took one day to talked with me! You came here, saying that you were going to Bolivia and that you had a flight that same day!“

Jay knew that coming back home wouldn’t have been easy, he knew that you would’ve been upset and you had all the rights to be angry with him, but he definitely didn’t expect to come home and find you pregnant.

“Wait, did you know you were pregnant when i left?!”

You froze, then you stepped back and you invited him to enter the apartment, to talk about it privately.

Jay immediately came in, leaving the bag on the ground, completely focused on his wife. You closed the door behind you two and you leaned against the kitchen counter, sighing.

Jay, even if he was mad at you, immediately walked towards you and helped you; then he took a chair and he invited you to sit down, placing an hand on your shoulder and caressing you gently. You appreciated it but you perfectly knew that you two have still to talk about it.

“Yes.” You answered after that, placing an hand on your own belly, caressing it gently and feeling the baby kicking you hard. “I discovered it the same morning you accepted the job. I wanted to tell you when you came home but you talked first and I couldn’t tell you after that.”

Jay couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe that his wife hid something important like a baby from him for almost nine months. You should have told him, you should have told him the truth because he wouldn’t have left knowing that you were pregnant with his baby.

“You should have told me, Y/n!” He wasn’t able to control himself, he just yelled at you and, after that, he regretted it. You slightly jumped on the chair, with tears running down your cheeks. You knew that, you knew that he had all the rights to be angry with you but you weren’t prepared for this. You just wanted him to be home because you needed him but you never thought about how he would’ve reacted at the news. You had time to prepare yourself to become a mother and then he came home and discovered that he’s going to become a father in what, few days?

“I’m sorry.” He immediately told you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your arms. “I’m sorry i yelled, it’s just that…. I wanted to know, I wanted to be here with you.”

You sobbed and cried, especially when his hands touched you after all that time. You missed him so much.

“I know.” You sobbed, looking at him. “I’m sorry, i wanted to tell you but I know that you wouldn’t left and… you said you needed it, I couldn’t stop you from that. I just wanted you to be happy again, I couldn’t see you so sad here. And… when you came here saying that you accept the job in Bolivia… i just couldn’t take it away from you. You were right saying that i had to let you go, i saw it in your eyes.”

Jay caressed your arms slowly and gently, then he leaned closer and he kissed your forehead.

“I’m sorry i left you alone.” He said, softly. And it was true. All the time, when he was in Bolivia for his new job, he thought about you and he felt guilty because he knew that you were alone, he knew that you would probably have been hurt. That’s why he asked Kim, Adam, Kevin and Hailey to be near you in case you needed them.

“Well, i wasn’t alone, was i?” You smiled softly through your tears; you took his hands and placed them on your belly the moment you felt your baby kicking. “He, or she, was with me all the time.”

Jay felt the kick against his palms and his eyes immediately filled with tears.

“Say hi to your daddy.” You whispered, apparently talking to your baby while looking at Jay in the eyes.

Jay wanted to say something, wanted to kiss your belly and whispered something to it like he was talking to your baby, but before he could say something, you moaned in pain.

“What’s wrong?” He immediately asked, concerned. “Is everything okay, babe?”

You looked down at yourself when you felt your legs wet.

“Oh no.” You whispered.

Jay looked at you, confused. “What’s happening?”

You looked at him and moaned in pain.

“ i think I’m in labor.”

“Fuck.” He said, placing an hand on his mouth after that. “I’m sorry, i swore in front of the baby!”

You giggled and shook your head but you were interrupted by the first contraction; you moaned in pain and you looked up at him.

“Hospital.” You whispered and he nodded.

“Hospital.” He agreed. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a father.”

“Jay.” You said while he took the car keys and the labor bag you prepared some weeks ago; he came back to you and he helped you get to your feet.

“I’m sorry!” He said, referring to his previous words.

#chicago pd #oneshot #fluff #jay halstead #angst #chicago fire #chicago med #erin lindsay #hailey upton #hank voight #trudy platt #police #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #kim burgess #pregnancy #army #father #newborn #fanfic #x reader

[kim-ruzek]

Lost in Translation

Part one

Summary: All Adam ever seems to hear is Kim talking about Roman. In Molly’s, in the locker room, when he’s just walking through the district. All he ever hears is Kim making comments about Roman, about their relationship, about all the domestic elements of their life.

And it's killing him.

Or; Obliviousness, a game of telephone and a healthy dose of gossip leads to miscommunication... Miscommunication that just may lead Adam and Kim back together.

Set in S3, post break-up AU.

Word Count: 3k words

Read on AO3

Notes: This fic very much spawned from a cracky idea, so while it may seem angsty (and it is), it is primarily a fic that is rooted in humour. It is also a two part fic, this is part one, as it works better that way. It is also my first (posted) burzek multi-chapter, technically.

I first created this idea back in 2021, so I'm very happy I've finally written it and I hope y'all enjoy! 💖

Adam knew something was up with Kim and Roman.

That something was different, a difference that occurred after his engagement to Kim imploded and Adam isn’t stupid enough to not know that the difference most likely was because of said implosion. He may have been stupid enough to not realise Kim was slipping from his fingertips, that the fighting they had been doing wasn't only a rut, but he’s still a good cop and a good cop notices things.

His mind hadn’t wanted to go there; it rebelled at the very notion. But his eyes kept betraying him, pointing out all the ways they seemed to be closer, all the ways Roman was intruding in Kim’s personal space, and all the ways Kim didn’t seem to mind.

He chose not to dwell on it, or rather he tried, hard, not to—and was mostly successful, except for the dead of night when his bed felt so, so empty without her warmth snuggled beside him and there was no case or alcohol to distract him and occupy his mind with thoughts of literally anything else.

But he knew. He knew.

So when Adam heard that Roman suddenly went on furlough, and that he wouldn’t be coming back, that he had transferred, again, to yet another district, he had been immediately curious. Of course, he wasn’t allowed to ask Kim about it himself, but he could linger around corners and the locker room, acting like he was absorbed in something else, all while he listened to others asking.

All Kim said to anyone—even Kev—was that Roman needed a change of scenery, and she always said it so clipped, so final, making it clear she wasn’t engaging in any gossip. It’s something that would usually leave Adam feel a swell of pride for his girl, being so polite and tactful, but she’s not his girl, and it only made him feel mildly frustrated as he wanted to know why Roman left.

Naturally, Platt was no help either.

With no answers, Adam had made his own. He had decided that whatever was the thing happening between them, whatever that difference was, it had ended, been disconnected. And that was satisfactory enough for Adam—and a little bit of an ego booster, if he was honest.

But then it happened.

Adam was minding his own business in the locker room—for real, this time—getting changed before he headed to Molly’s when he overheard Kim talking to one of the other officers. It’s his fault, really. His ears are still trained to immediately zone in and listen whenever he hears her beautiful voice, even months after she broke his heart.

From context, Adam quickly got that the officer asked if Kim was joining them in Molly’s. Usually, he’d be crushed at her not going, always liking to catch a glimpse of her there even as she steadfastly ignored him. But this time, that’s not what crushed him.

“I can’t,” Kim said. “I have to get home. I’ve got a date planned for cuddles on the couch; Roman is still adjusting to the move,”

Adam’s heart had stopped.

He’s a good cop, but even an idiot could guess what had recently transpired in Kim’s life hearing that. Roman—he was living with Kim.

And Kim was having dates with him.

That’s when Adam realised he had gotten it all wrong; Roman hadn’t transferred because things between them had fizzled—but because he was dating Kim, because he was living with Kim.

Adam didn’t go to Molly’s that night. He still drank, but it was very much drinking to be alone, in the darkness, not amongst his colleagues.

Any hope that Adam had about him misunderstanding what he overheard evaporated only a few nights after. He was in Molly’s, and at some point Kim had turned up to, and when he was grabbing a beer, his ears betrayed him again and he tuned into her saying that “she had to leave,” that “she had a date with her boyfriends, Roman, Ben and Jerry,”

Despite having learnt already that Kim was living with Roman—living with him, when they never even got to live in a place that was theirs together—Adam hadn’t been prepared to hear the first time Kim referred to another man as her boyfriend.

Adam had an early night, too, that night. But his was a lot more miserable than hers was.

Kim had moved on. There was officially no hope for them.

After this, all Adam ever seems to hear is Kim talking about Roman. In Molly’s, in the locker room, when he’s just walking through the district. All he ever hears is Kim making comments about Roman, about their relationship, about all the domestic elements of their life.

And it's killing him.

He’s handing Platt some paperwork about his expenses when he overhears Kim talking with other officers about grabbing lunch. Someone suggests sushi, and Kim immediately groans.

“Ugh, no, pass, please. All I’ve been cooking recently is fish for Roman, and I’m officially sick of the sight of any seafood. Especially with how Roman eats it, I think he’s put me off fish for a lifetime.”

And he’s in the locker room, in the morning, getting ready for work when he hears Kim come in, chatting away with another officer—her replacement for Roman, he thinks, not that he’s been able to ask. Not when she’s avoiding him like he’s got the plague and not when he doesn’t know if he could get through a conversation with her without his heart literally breaking in two.

“And oh my god, the bathroom! I swear I’m having to clean it so much which I know I signed up for but he makes such a mess in there. And he always seem to want to pee right as I’m showering—no matter the time. It’s not even just that, it’s so much hair. You wouldn’t think that Roman would shed that much hair,” Kim sounds so frustrated, and Adam hates how much that hurts him, even though she’s venting about her new boyfriend.

“Typical man,” the other officer says, and the two of them burst out laughing, hard, for a reason that Adam doesn’t quite get. And it’s just another reminder that Kim has jokes now that he’ll never know, that it’s Roman’s privilege now to have that view into Kim’s world.

All these little moments that Adam overhears, they all hurt him. Deep, in an aching kind of way that he never thought he’d feel, a way he never knew was possible, a way that he never experienced when his previous engagements ended.

But the one that hurt him the most was another conversation he overheard in Molly’s. Kim is already in the bar when Adam gets there and if he hadn’t walked in with the rest of the unit, he might’ve been tempted to walk right back out. But he had, so he stayed, instead telling himself that he’ll stay way clear of her—he needs to give his liver a rest, after all.

His one consolation is Kevin, who shoots him an understanding look, clocking Kim as well. Things had been distant between those two, as well; Kevin had felt a bit upset at hearing about Kim and Roman through the district grapevine, and from what Kev had told him, which granted isn’t much, Kim had all but dismissed these feelings when he asked her about it.

If Adam’s honest, it doesn’t sound like something Kim would do, but then he didn’t think dating Roman would be something Kim would do, so what does he know? And he knows Kevin well enough to know his hurt is real.

It probably would’ve been fine, had Adam not needed to go take a piss. He was actually enjoying himself with his unit, so much that for a moment he got wrapped up in the fun he temporarily forgot that Kim is also in the bar. And that in order to get to the toilets, he had to go past where Kim sat.

“Partners... The wrong one can be so detrimental to everything, both personally and professionally.” It is busy in Molly’s, and so Adam was moving carefully, winding through the crowd and is unable to speed up to put as much distance between them as soon as he hears Kim’s voice and he remembers.

“Like my ex partner, he was just so wrong for me. His attitudes, the way he spoke to and about me and how he acted about my role, like I was beneath him? His opinions and wants was the most important and that was that. A partner to be good needs to support you, and help you accomplish what you need to, not dismiss your own dreams, especially your professional ones. But my partner now? Completely perfect for me, and that makes all the difference.”

There are times Adam wishes there is an off switch to his ears, and this is the only time he would be truly glad if that was the case. He couldn’t help listening to Kim speak, despite the noisiness of the bar, despite the obvious signs at the start of the sentence that it could be potentially devastating for him.

He had thought the moment when Kim handed him back her ring would be the most devastating moment of his life.

How very stupid of him indeed.

Adam knew, obviously, that Kim was unhappy with their relationship. She wouldn’t have ended it otherwise. And he knew that he wasn’t always the best—missing the dinner with her mom was a fine example of how he could fuck up. But he hadn’t quite realised that she felt like that, that she thought he was like that.

And suddenly all Adam could do was doubt himself, thinking back on things and wondering is that really how he acted? Is he really such a fuck up that he made Kim feel like he didn’t value her, respect her? That he dismissed her dreams and didn’t support her?

Adam feels sick, and he knows that he’ll be leaving the bar, now, even though just five minutes ago he thought he’d be here at least half an hour longer. That he’ll say goodbye to the team and head home—just as soon as he convinces himself to go back out to the bar, to leave the toilets. It’s a challenge to get his feet moving, standing immobile, unable to bear the thought of walking past Kim again.

He manages to, mostly spurred on by another man entering the toilets and Adam became so aware at how weird he would seem if he just remained frozen on one spot there. He hoped that maybe he wouldn’t hear anymore as he passed by again, but isn’t that lucky.

Even more unluckily, it seems that Kim is once again getting ready to leave the bar and Adam realises that if he just stayed in the toilets for one more minute, he would’ve been free of his hell. But he chose to leave, then, and as a result he gets to hear Kim say another thing that devastates him to his core.

“I’ll see you around. Good luck with everything,” Kim is saying as he draws near. “Now, I’ve got to get back to the love of my life,”

It is really credit to himself, and his dignity—what’s left of it, anyway—that Adam doesn’t fall to the ground right then and there, Kim’s words faltering him in his steps.

It’s not even the words. Well, not only the words.

But it’s how she says it. There’s a hint of humour to her voice, but there’s a certainty. That it’s like she’s just saying any old fact, that it is just the truth, and she’s just stating something so big like it’s something casual—because, in her life, as far as she’s concerned, it is.

The words haunt Adam for the rest of the night, going round and round in his head. He remembers all the times she said those words to him; whispered to him in their dead of night talks, casually said it over breakfast, or at a dinner with Kev. Remembered the time she stared at her ring for the one of the first times, and told him that, told him that she was so happy—happy because the love of her life wanted her just as much she wanted him.

How could it be that only six months after they broke up, that she had moved on so fast? That she had discovered that Adam was just a footnote in her life, and not one who’d have her heart forever?

But, of course, Adam knew how. He heard how from Kim’s mouth that same night; heard how she saw their relationship, saw him, and even though it confuses Adam, because surely, surely he wasn’t that bad, that doesn’t really matter. That’s how she felt during their relationship, and that’s exactly why she left him, exactly why Adam’s not the love of her life anymore, and why Roman is.

Adam had already been trying to stay clear of Kim’s path, out of respect for her wishes as well as preservation for his own heart, but after that night in Molly’s, he really starts avoiding her. If anyone notices, they choose not to comment on it, something which Adam deeply appreciates.

He doesn’t even wonder if Kim notices, knowing that she’s moved on, that he’s probably the person she least wants to think about and knowing that if she does, she’s probably glad—happily living her life with Roman, and glad there’s no lingering ex-fiancé hanging around her.

His avoidance amps up two months later when they hear word of a cop being shot in another district—and that the cop is Roman. There’s nothing Adam wants even less then seeing a distraught looking Kim, knowing that it will be because of her new partner, her new boyfriend, knowing that she’d be hurting over a man who gets to love her in the way he so, so wishes he still was allowed to.

Adam thinks the sight of it might actually be what kills him.

This includes not going to Molly’s, not wanting to run into her, not wanting to have to say his sympathies—or having to be the kind of man who can’t get past his own feelings to even choke out the words—and rather, not wanting to go and not see her and knowing it’s because she’s at his bedside.

And nothing makes cops group together like the one, big family they are like an officer getting injured and Adam heard words of everyone going to Molly’s because of the shooting and he knew he isn’t strong enough for that.

So Adam doesn’t go to Molly’s, and when he has some days off a week or so after the shooting, Adam stays in his apartment the entire time, even if before he would’ve spent the time catching up with people he hadn’t seen in a while.

No, for now, all the friends Adam needs is alcohol and takeout.

He’s half way through the Chinese he had ordered when there’s a knock on his apartment door. It confuses him for a second, looking down at his food, food that had already arrived and so didn’t need delivering but he shrugs it off and goes to the door anyway.

Kim repeatedly got on his case about his surprising lack of awareness depending he’s a cop, that he never questions why his door knocks, and about how he never ‘practiced safety’ by opening the door without checking the peep hole and this comes to his mind, now. Just like it had ever since she left him, his ears missing her voice repeating the same words she always did despite him never listening, and he had gotten into the habit of checking.

(There’s a part of him that wonders, if he did that more when they were still together, maybe she’d still be his).

But Adam’s feeling particularly irritable today, at the whole situation, at the aching emptiness in his heart that still remains despite the fact it’s been months, despite the fact that they’ve been split for as long as their engagement was now, despite the fact that Kim hasn’t given him a second fucking thought, despite the fact that she’s with another man.

So why the hell should he still be listening to her voice in his head?

Adam opens the door, pushing that voice into a box in his head. Because of it, he thinks he must’ve opened the door a little too forcefully, as Kim looks startled as he does so.

Wait, he thinks. Kim?

For the first time in months, Kim is standing at his door. It’s what he’s been dreaming of ever since she walked out on him, and he had came back to his apartment and every bit of her was scrubbed from it. Even just a few weeks ago, had she turned up, for whatever reason, Adam would’ve been immediately softened at her appearance.

Not today. Today, Adam feels irritable.

“What do you want?” He snaps at her. He doesn’t mean for it to come out just so harsh standing but it’s been months of no contact and now she’s standing here for god knows what reason and all Adam wants to do is finish his dinner.

Kim looks a little taken back by his tone, which should’ve annoyed him more, especially considering it’s reasonable to assume he wouldn’t exactly be all sunshine and roses at her presence, especially since he’s in a mood, but it makes him feel guilty, bad that he’s caused that reaction in her.

This woman is going to be the death of him, he thinks.

Still, Kim isn’t deterred by his tone because of course she isn’t, because she’s Kim, and Kim is a strong and determined woman who never backs down from what she wants to do.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding.” She says, and Adam almost wants to laugh. What possible misunderstanding could there have been—what, did she not actually break up with him, didn’t actually break his heart?

“Meet Roman,” At that, Kim holds up something and Adam realises this whole time there’s been something in her arms, and a pet cage at her feet that he didn’t see. (Yeah, he’s a great cop).

“My cat.” She finishes.

Oh.

Oh.

#ree.writes #burzek #chicago pd #adam ruzek #kim burgess #chicago pd fanfiction #burzek fic #kim burgess x adam ruzek #cíara tag #<- bc this fic never would've taken a coherent form without them #ree's.writing

[torreshalstead]

Marry Me

Summary - It was finally the day, the dresses were ready, the flowers were ready.  It was going to be perfect.  It was finally her wedding day and Kim couldn’t be more excited.

Adam wasn’t so excited.  He was about to watch the girl he loved marry someone else.  And it was breaking his heart.

Notes - This was inspired by the song 'Marry Me' - Thomas Rhett. It came to me today and I just had to write it. I apologise in advance for the angsty nature but I hope you enjoy. AO3 Link

Adam tugged roughly on his tie, attempting to loosen the feeling that it was tied too tightly around his neck.  Rationally he knew it wasn’t.  It was tied as tight as a tie normally was, but as he stood here in the back of the congregation, black suit, black tie, it felt stifling.  

The wedding wasn’t large, there were only a few rows of white chairs on each side.  Kim had wanted to save her father the cost of having a hugely extravagant wedding, it wasn’t about the cost anyway.  It was about marrying the man of her dreams.  Even with the small number of seats, all of them had been filled and with the addition of some additional plus ones, some people were even standing at the back.  The weather was perfect, the sun shining down on the patch of grass outside the ranch house, the white of the chairs contrasting beautifully against the green of the grass and the blue sky.  She tugged the curtain of the ranch house window back closed again and glanced around the room.  Her bridesmaids, which included her sister, a couple of her friends from work and her niece, Zoey, who was the lone flower girl, were just putting the finishing touches to their makeup and hair before they got dressed.

The dusky pink bridesmaid dresses hung on a rack at the back of the room, the colour chosen specifically to go with the magnolias that would grace both her and her bridal parties bouquets.  Everything was going to be perfect.

Zoey was going to be the first one down the aisle, and had a basket full of petals to spread as she walked.  She would be followed by Vanessa, the newest member of her friendship circle but the two had quickly bonded.  Hailey, her best friend, would be next and then her maid of honour and sister, Nicole would finish off the party before Kim would walk down.

Kim’s father was walking her down the aisle and she would shortly be surprising him in her dress.  Her mother and sister had come with her to select it and had decided to do a first look for her father just before he gave her away. She knew he was dreading this day, giving away his youngest daughter but even though he made a joke about it, she knew he was genuinely happy that she had found someone who treated her so well.

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Tugging again on his tie, Adam shifted from one foot to the other, it was too hot to be wearing a full suit in this weather but Kim had insisted that it be a jacket and tie occasion.  Raising his hand to feel in his breast pocket, he breathed a sigh of relief when his fingers brushed against the smooth metal of its occupant.

Ignoring the chatter and bustle of those around him, Adam was suddenly taken back to that night, all those years ago when everything had changed.

They had just closed a big human trafficking case, one that had taken them multiple weeks but the offenders were finally in custody, they had saved more than a dozen victims and their Sergeant had given them the rest of the evening off.  The whole unit had headed to Molly’s and the drinks were flowing.  Squeezed around a small table, Adam had ended up without a seat so he stood just behind and to the side of Kim.  The more they drank, the more he felt himself being pulled closer to her so when a few drinks later she leant herself against his chest, he let her.  

Hailey and Jay disappeared when Kevin announced he was buying shots and when Vanessa had given him a look, he and she had also made a swift exit.

Adam took the seat opposite Kim that Vanessa had just vacated.

‘Need me to call you a cab?’ he asked, noticing how Kim was swaying slightly on her stool.

She shook her head, ‘I’ll walk, it’s only a few blocks’.  Pushing herself up off the stool, she stood up.

‘Well I’m not letting you walk home alone,’ Adam said, ignoring her eye roll and matching her movements he followed her to the door.  Quickly reaching round her he pushed it open for Kim to walk through it.

‘Always the gentleman’ she said with a smile and patted him on the chest.  Adam blushed slightly at the contact.  The warmth of her hand remained there long after she pulled away.

The pair slowly ambled their way down Cortland, neither in a hurry to get anywhere.  Just enjoying the fresh air and being in each other's company.

When they reached the front door to Kim’s building, she had pulled him in for a tight hug and Adam let himself wrap his arms around her slim frame, trying to ignore the way they fitted together like pieces of a puzzle.  Loosening his hold and allowing her some space, she looked up at him, those big brown eyes glistening in the moonlight.  His eyes flitted down to her lips and then back up to her eyes.  This was going to be it, he was finally going to kiss her.

And yet he had pulled back, he had freaked out.  They had been friends for forever and although he knew how he felt about her, he always wondered if she had felt the same way.

The day she walked into the bullpen with a diamond ring on her left hand, he knew she didn’t.

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Reaching back into his pocket, he pulled out the metal flask which he had filled with whiskey this morning.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to get through this day without some sort of crutch.  Watching the woman he had loved for years, publicly pledge herself to another man.  Her father wasn’t the only one giving her away today.  He took a strong shot of whiskey from his flask and returned it to his pocket, he was sure he’d need another swig as soon as he saw her walk down the aisle.  He would have to try to make it through that without crying, he couldn’t have anyone see him tearful at a friend's wedding.  No one knew how he felt about Kim, and that was the way it would have to stay.

When the music started and the bridal party began walking down the aisle, Adam felt his features tighten as he tried to steal himself and keep a lid on his emotions.  Taking another shot from his flask he turned to look at the bridesmaids.  

Zoey looked adorable in her flower girl dress, a miniature replica of the dresses the adult bridesmaids were wearing.  He watched as Vanessa tried to keep herself steady in her heels that were threatening to sink into the grass.  She was no good in heels, even when they sent her undercover.  Hailey looked lovely, her blonde hair complimenting the colour of the pink dress perfectly, both her and Vanessa didn’t seem to notice him hiding out in the back.  Next, the maid of honour Nicole glided perfectly down the aisle.  Adam knew Kim had been worried that her sister would upstage her, she had never thought of herself as the most graceful woman but Adam knew differently.  He knew nothing and nobody would upstage Kim on this day.  On her day.  

Not their day, but hers.  

Adam knew it was always Kim’s dream to get married.  To have the white dress and the flowers, to have her grandfather preaching the service.  He knew that she wanted to get married.  She just didn’t want to get married to him.

The music changed and Adam knew it was the moment, the moment he had been dreading.  He turned to see Kim, arm in arm with her father, begin to slowly walk down the aisle.  His breath caught in his throat and his eyes brimmed with tears.  She was beautiful.  He always thought she was beautiful but this was something else.  If anyone asked him what the dress was like that she was wearing, he couldn’t have told them.  The only reason he knew her bouquet would be magnolias is because he knew it was her favourite flower.  His eyes were transfixed solely on her face.  She looked so happy.  He wasn’t sure he had ever seen her smile so wide.  Her eyes were filled with tears, but unlike the ones that Adam was holding back, he could see hers were of pure joy.  He clenched his fist  hard, his nails biting into his palm.  The sting in his hand gave him something to focus on that wasn’t the pain in his chest.  It provided him a modicum of relief but only for a moment.

He didn’t know how long it took for her to reach the altar, where her grandfather and fiancé were waiting, it was though time had stood still.  He saw the brown haired man whisper something to Kim and she smiled even larger than before.  The groom shook hands with her father, who handed over Kim’s hand.  As the service was read and the vows were exchanged, Adam found he was unable to take anything in.  The words being spoken were just floating past him in the wind.  He was preparing himself for what he knew was coming.

When her grandfather announced them as husband and wife and the pair locked lips in front of the crowd, Adam felt his heart shatter.

He had known this was coming, this was how weddings were.  They promised to love each other forever and then they kissed.  But it felt so final.  The girl he loved.  The girl he had been in love with for years had just married someone else.  The pain was unbearable.  He quickly grabbed his flask back out and took a large gulp as the congregation applauded the newly weds.  The whiskey burned the back of his throat but did nothing to assuage the pain radiating through his chest.  He had known this would hurt, hence the whiskey, but never did he think it would feel like this.

He had thought about going to find her before the ceremony, of telling her how he felt.  Getting it off of his chest.  But he couldn’t do it.  She was happy and he wasn’t going to mess that up, as much as it hurt him.  He would lay down his life for Kim, he had always known he would do that. So a broken heart seemed like a small price to pay for her happiness.

As the married couple broke apart and smiled at the crowd, the pain he was feeling turned to an ache, settling deep inside him.  He could see from the smile on her face and the look in her eyes that she was happy.  And that would be enough for him.  It had to be enough.

#burzek #burzek fanfic #one chicago #chicago pd fic #chicago pd #adam ruzek #kim burgess #kim burgess x adam ruzek #burzek fic #burzek fanfiction #one chicago fanfic #chicago pd fanfic #one chicago fic

[anotheronechicagobog]

Officiant: Repeat after me-

Ruzek: After me.

Officiant, whispering to Burgess: Are you sure you want to marry this one?

#one chicago #chicago pd #but not mine #kim burgess #kim burgess x adam ruzek #burzek #adam ruzek

[fighterkimburgess]

bigger than the whole sky

Summary: When Kim miscarries, Adam stays in the hospital room with her. And for the first time in four years, she listens to what he has to say.

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: post 7x13, miscarriage, hospital, mentions of miscarriages and medical procedures.

—

It was quiet. So quiet.

Despite the monitor leads connected to Kim’s body the unit wasn’t beeping, she could feel the heat of Adam beside her. Feel his hand on hers, his breath against her hair as he helped support her. But she couldn’t hear anything. It was like the world had closed to just the small room in Med, and the pain ripping through her abdomen was the only thing she was aware of as her body caught up with the words stuck in her brain.

The abdominal trauma you suffered was severe. The pregnancy was lost. There’s no heartbeat.

Round and round they went in her head as she half sat, half laid on the bed. Wishing and hoping that it was simply a cruel mistake. But the pad between her legs and the bag of blood they’d had to give her was proof that it wasn’t. At fifteen weeks her pregnancy was over. She hadn’t really even started to show unless she was in the quiet of her bedroom, standing in just her bra and staring in the mirror as what she’d played off as bloating had just turned into a tiny, perfect bump. But that was no more.

Kim hadn’t even known that she was crying until Adam’s hand was on her cheek, calloused fingers carefully wiping the salty liquid away so they didn’t fall into the scrapes in her face. They began to fall harder and Adam’s arm pulled her to him, holding her steady. He was there and solid and she clutched to him, finally hearing something as her previously silent tears turned to violent sobs, desperate for some escape. It was over. It was all over and it was her fault and she’d lost their baby.

She’d known that she was pregnant for eleven weeks. They had a scan booked for the following week, Adam booking the time off work to come to it and meet their baby for the first time. They’d bought a baby name book, tossing names back and forth at lunch. He was about to move in and had given his landlord notice. Her life was going to change because of this baby, and now they were gone and it was all because of her. They were never going to meet their first child, and that was entirely Kim’s fault and she didn’t know how to react to that. The crushing weight of guilt and the bone deep sadness of their loss hit her as Adam held onto her, rubbing her back and holding her against his chest as he soothed her from the emotional pain it had caused her. The guilt of being the cause of their child’s death was all consuming, and she didn’t know what else to do apart from cry.

“I’ve got you. I’m right here, Kim, I’ve got you,” he murmured as she sobbed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. A member of staff came into the room, whether thanks to the noise or the monitors Kim didn’t know, but Adam lifted a hand from her back to shoo them away as she clutched to him. She’d refused the sedative that had been offered earlier, determined to feel the pain that she’d caused. She’d killed her child, she could at least experience the physical pain of losing them too.

Even when her tears had stopped she stayed there in Adam’s arms, safe and secure and unwilling to let him go. Once she moved away from him he could leave, and she knew he’d want to get far away from her and she didn’t blame him, but the comfort was too much to lose. She needed to be held and cared for, even if as soon as the bubble they were in was popped he’d hate her. And she couldn’t blame him for that.

“Do you need more painkillers? Adam’s voice pierced the silence after she let out a small groan of pain. It was the first completely clear noise she’d heard since arriving at Med in the passenger seat of his jeep.

“I didn’t take any. I didn’t want them.”

“For me? I don’t want to see you in any more pain. You need to be able to rest.” His voice was soft and Kim nodded, moving away to lay against the bed alone, immediately missing his warmth. Before she could truly miss it he’d settled back down and pulled her back to rest against him, hitting the call button and speaking to the nurse. The medication was injected into her IV in minutes, easing the pain and making her sleepy. The only thing running through her head as her eyes began to close was how much she’d missed Adam holding her in his arms.

When Kim woke to the dawning light she’d expected to be totally alone. But even as the pain started again that warmth she’d fallen asleep to was right there with her. She could feel Adam’s hand running up and down her arm, and he’d stayed. He’d stayed with her the whole night.

Even when she tried sending him away from her he stayed. She tried telling him that she didn’t deserve him to be there, that she should be alone and didn’t want to take up his time. But Voight had firmly told him he wasn’t going to work, and Adam refused to let Kim be alone. On the rare occasions that he left the room to get himself food, or to change his clothes and shower, he made sure that Kevin or Platt were with her. Apart from that first night she barely spoke to anyone, but they made sure that she was never alone. Adam was never gone for long anyway, constantly coming back within twenty minutes and was always there whenever the doctors came back to check on her. Even the awkward exams he sat on the chair facing the head of her bed, holding her hand and keeping her attention on him and not the medical professionals. She was prodded and poked at, but after three days when the bulk of the miscarriage was finally over she was allowed to leave. Instead of going alone, Adam’s arm was around her as she left the wheelchair and took her first steps outside the hospital door.

She thought he’d just drop her home, but instead he got out of the jeep and followed her up in the elevator to settle her on the couch before making a coffee for them. Even when he sat in the couch his arm went around her, pulling her close and helping Kim relax.

“Is this because I didn’t immediately want them? Because I paused? Because I almost made the appointment? Is that why it happened? If I’d been happy, if I’d prayed for them to be healthy would we still have them?” She didn’t expect him to answer her, thought the words would disappear into thin air in front of them.

“No. Not in a million years…” he paused and Kim could nearly hear the gears turning in his head. “Some bird flapped it’s wings in Asia and we lost our baby. A million coincidences had to happen perfectly for this, and I wasn’t fast enough. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I should have been there. For both of you.”

It took a moment for the words to settle in her soul, but she reached out to clutch his hand, her left reaching for his right and holding onto him tightly for the first time in four years.

“I was the one who went in. I was just thinking about Laura and saving her for her mother. I should have thought about our baby and being a mother.” She shifted and frowned, a cramp moving through her belly as Adam pulled her closer.

“Do you still keep a heat pack in the medicine cabinet?” Kim nodded, watching as he went to the bathroom and returned with the flannel covered heat pad in his hands. He put it through the microwave before putting the cover back on and handing it to Kim to place on her abdomen. The heat immediately helped ease her discomfort and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“You’ll be a good dad, one day. Whoever makes you a dad is going to be a lucky woman to raise a child with you.”

It was a comfortable silence between them again for a few moments, Adam pushing a kiss to her forehead as Kim revelled in the comfort.

“If Hailey had gotten pregnant last year I don’t think I’d have been ok. We never talked about kids together, she wouldn’t have been ok either I think. But you and me? We’d be good parents. You’re going to be a brilliant mom some day soon, Kim. Any kid who gets to call you mom is very lucky.”

She sat there, curled up in Adam’s arms fully aware of what he’d said. And in a couple of weeks, when she was healed, she knew that they had to have a serious conversation about what they both wanted. Even in the pain they were experiencing, even knowing that they’d probably spend the rest of their lives pining and living without their first child, she knew that she and Adam wanted each other. And after this pain that was bigger than anything, bigger than the stars and the whole sky, they deserved whatever happiness they could grab.

Burzek Taglist: @aruzlover @haiileyshalstead @morganupstead  @adamruz @fullwattpadmusictree @redpoodlern @everythingaddictxx @write4life13 @jeanjacketjesus @tuxieboy101-blog @thelittlepterophyllum @planecrazylex @sophiatellerrhodes @ossypooh @kimburgess-ruzek @thestarrynightslover @reidskitty13 @etamne @torreshalstead @itsnotpersonalbut @kellykidd @dedlund82 @pinkwhitebrown @mmacke3613 @upsteadlovingheart @ittybitty-tittycommittee @takemetooneverlanddd @oracle23 @thedefinitionofendgame @headlightsatmidnight @butterflylies @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @withakindheartx @bebataylor84 @whoiamwhoistrivetobe @multicouple-lover @eviehalstead212 @soupysoup @daniellexoc3 @storiesofsvu @keenmarvellover 

#burzek #kim burgess #adam ruzek #kim burgess x adam ruzek #adam ruzek x kim burgess #adam x kim #kim x adam #chicago pd fic

[unknowntoyou2205]

Fear turns to confession (1/3)

Info: A friend and colleague of Jay and Mouse returns from the army due to leave, but feelings arise when she joins intelligence.

Requested by @maybankangel

Series masterlist

It was long day for intelligence. They were working on a murder rape case where three women and two children were found dead with multiple stabbing wounds, the children haven been sliced in the neck. There was prove of forced sexual intendancies but they were no closer to finding the killer, only knowing that it was likely personally due to the victims being related.

"Alright any questions?" Hank asked, looking around after going through some new information before a phone goes off. "Sorry, sorry." Mouse spoke in a rush, grabbing his phone and looking at it before answering. "Everyone good?" Hank asked, bringing everyone's attention back to him causing everyone to nod, "Alright, back to work."

Jay made his way back to behind his desk and sat down, leaning towards the paperwork that contained information about the victims and how they were killed. Hearing movement, he glanced up only to see Mouse heading towards Erin in a rush, speaking to her abruptly before heading down the stairs, likely taking two at a time. Realizing the unusual behavior of his fellow veteran, Jay frowned and moved towards his girlfriends desk, leaning against it as he spoke.

"What was that about?" Jay asked her, looking in the direction Mouse left. "What was what about?" Erin asked, faking confusion. "Come on, where's mouse going?" Jay spoke, crossing his arm and looking at her. "I dunno, probably to get coffee or something." "What was he talking to you about?" "The case, he found something he thought was useful." "That quick?" "Jay, you know him, he's quick on things like this, just go back to work." She responded with a sigh before leaving her desk and heading to Hanks office.

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Erin did know what was going on with Mouse and why he had rushed off so quick after getting the disruptive phone call. She just chose not to tell Jay because she knew previous relations may arise.

Mouse had gotten a call from Will, saying that he and Jay should go to Wills house as someone from their past work had turned up. Upon hearing it was y/n he rushed out, not bothering to wait for Jay and opting to tell his trustworthy girlfriend instead.

Y/n was someone who used to serve with Mouse and Jay up until they left the army. She had started working two years after Jay and Mouse started and was still an active soldier when Jay had left, Mouse following two years later. They still kept in occasional contact but they hadn't seen each other in person since they left the service.

A couple of days ago y/n had gotten into an accident with work, and as a result was ordered to take leave to recuperate and recover before returning should she choose to. Instead of telling Jay like Mouse had asked her to, she opted to keep the information from her boyfriend, afraid that he would leave her for his former colleague. She knew that Jay and y/n had some form of a relationship, whether it was official or not, based on the fact that sometimes Jay called her y/n instead of her actual name. The fear of Jay leaving her for someone was something that wasn't worth taking the risk in her opinion, so she was determined that Jay wouldn't find out, even if it meant lying to him.

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That evening, Jay kissed Erin goodbye from the district before heading towards Will's place for a couple of drinks and to watch the match. Seeing Jay at his door, Will smiled in greeting before letting into the apartment, grabbing two bottles of beer from his fridge before sitting on the couch beside him where the TV was on playing the match of the week.

"How was work?" Will asked, starting conversation. "It was good, tough case." Jay spoke with a shake of his head, taking a drink from his bottle. "Yeah it must of been when you didn't come by earlier with Mouse." Will replied, drinking his own drink. "Mouse came here?" Jay asked in confusion. "Yeah, earlier on I called him and he came, said he told Lindsey to tell you." "Why would he come here? Erin never told me anything." Jay asked, confused about why his girlfriend would lie to him. "You don't know?" Will asked, squinting his eyes in confusion. "Know what?" "Y/n's back, she had an accident with a landmine so they told her take some leave time. I called mouse and you but when you didn't answer Mouse said he would get Erin to tell you." Will explained, leaning back into his seat. "Erin didn't say anything. Y/n's back?" Jay asked, looking at Will with wide eyes. "Yeah, just this morning. She's on leave to recover, you really didn't know?" Will asked, realizing that his brother clearly wasn't told anything. "Nothing was said to me. Where is she staying?" Jay asked, grabbing his phone and keys from in front of him. "Ehh here, but she's looking for her own place so it's temporary. She's off in an appointment right now with the military doctor or something." "Right, tell her to call me, yeah. I need to sort something out." Jay stated, standing up and grabbing his coat. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for her not saying anything." Will shouted after his brother as he heard the door open. "Yeah, I'm sure there is." Jay agreed to himself as he closed the door and left.

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"Why didn't you tell me?" Jay spoke, walking into his and Erin's shared apartment. "I thought you were going to Will's for the night?" Erin asked, by passing his question. "I was, but then he told me that he had been trying to contact me but when he didn't called Mouse to tell him that y/n was back. But you already knew that because Mouse told you to tell me." Jay explained and Erin's eyes widened slightly. "Look, Jay..." "Why didn't you tell me Erin, don't you think I would of liked to know that my friend and fellow soldier was home after an accident." Jay asked, placing his hands behind one of their kitchen tables. "Yes, I know, I should of told you but, I know the way you two were before you left the army. How close you two were. You called me her name and I was afraid that if you knew that she was back you would leave me for her." "You still should of told me." Jay spoke with a shake of his head. "I know Jay, and I'm sorry, I just don't want to lose you." Erin spoke in a small voice, knowing what she did was wrong. "Linds, your not going to lose me okay, you and I are strong and are relationship works on trust and truth. I need you to tell me these things no matter what you fear and trust that I will not try anything behind your back." Jay spoke, lowering his voice and moving closer to his girlfriend, placing a hand around her waist. "I'm sorry I lied." Erin smiled and Jay smiled back, leaning down to pull her into a kiss.

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The following day intelligence gathered to talk about the case. Jay and Mouse were leaning against a desk with their arms crossed, half listening and half not. Both men were thinking of their old friend, and only one of them were expecting to hear their phone go off. Jay glanced at Mouse as he heard the soft ping and Mouse smiled as Hank finished before heading down the stairs. Frowning in confusion, Jay watched Mouse head down as Erin came towards him.

"Hey, you ok? You seem distracted." Erin asked, putting a hand on Jays arm. "Yeah fine, just confused is all." "About what?" Erin asked, scrunching her eyebrows. "Y/n?" Jay asked, looking away from Erin causing her to frown and turn to where he was looking.

Mouse walked up the stairs with a young lady beside him. The ladies arm was in a cast and she seemed to have a limp. Her h/c hair was down, covering half her face and she refused to make eye contact with anyone, but yet Jay seemed to know who she was. Erin glanced at Jay as he moved towards the two while the rest of the group watched on, wondering who the lady was.

"Y/n?" Jay asked again, louder this time, causing the lady to look up. "Hey Jay." She smiled, happy to see her old army friend. "What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the day recuperating. I was going to come see you after shift." "Decided to get out of the house. You know I always hated sitting around."

"Care to introduce us." Hank asked, his rough voice breaking the reunion. "Guys this is y/n, she was in the army with myself and Mouse here." Jay spoke, placing a hand on Mouses shoulder as he smiled shyly. "Y/n this is intelligence, where I work now." "Nice to meet you all." Y/n smiled, though Jay couldn't help but notice the slight flinch she gave. "Voight, Hank Voight. Head of intelligence." Voight stated, offering a hand shake. "Nice to meet you." Y/n smiled, accepting the hand shake.

Y/n started greeting the rest of Jays colleagues, and all but one seemed to happily greet her. Erin appeared to give y/n a hard shoulder, and y/n knew that it was over her and Jays past. Mouse had told her that Erin refused to tell Jay that she had returned, and y/n couldn't help but feel slightly bitter towards the woman her friend was dating. She knew Jay had called Erin her name a few times, but y/n couldn't help but be embarrassed about it even if she wasn't to blame. But none the less she smiled at Erin, and Erin smiled in compliance before wrapping her arm around Jays, causing him to look down in confusion as they never really showed affection in work, before watching y/n as she smiled at Adam as they spoke.

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd #one chicago #mouse #erin lindsay #voight #hank voight #kim burgess #kevin atwater #adam ruzek