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fictionkinfessional · 2 years

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i feel like its bad that i miss MY heather chandler. when she died it felt like everything went to shit. maybe i deserved it, for being friends with a girl who was so mean. but even then, she was one of my best friends. i had protection i guess, no guys could be creeps with heather around. i don't know. i just feel wrong for missing someone so .. bad. i guess. - heather macnamara

#negative #death cw #heather macnamara kin #heathers kin #?#swearing #mod ari

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kin-nik · 1 year

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I really don't like doing this sort of thing, but I feel like it is wrong not to make the kin community aware of this concern. I hope that nobody else will have to deal with this like I have.

That said, I very much take being a kin very seriously as it is a large part of my identity and I recently had an encounter with another individual who made a call on a kincall blog. Seeing as we both shared a source which I have strong connections towards (and have many timelines affiliated with said source and individual), I reached out. There was a point in the conversation where I mentioned a friend who I know this life as Anakin (because they are Anakin kin) and this individual was very disrespectful and rude. They did not express that they weren't comfortable with doubles, and they called my friend a fake and a pretender. When I apologized, not knowing how to react, they proceeded to react negatively rather than simply dropping the subject or the conversation at large (or even simply expressing their discomfort). After their second response, I expressed that I was unaware of their discomfort with doubles and that I would refrain from mentioning my friend in conversation in order to prevent upsetting them further. Then I said "but please don't call them fake" They then mentioned (in what I felt was expressed very passive-aggressively) that they felt they should put psychotic in caps and bold in their blog bio to avoid this situation.

At this point, I will admit that I was very peeved at their unnecessary behavior. I explained how this issue could have been avoided if they had simply said that they weren't comfortable with doubles rather than invalidating others. I expressed that I wish them luck finding sourcemates but that I would ending conversation with them due to this encounter. I did not reply in an aggressive manner, simply explained my views of the situation and how it could have ended better. I believe my response was a civil one, especially after they had offended me and my very close friend with their behavior. After replying, I promptly blocked them.

They then proceeded to send a final message through their main blog, saying that I triggered their psychosis. After doing so, they blocked me.

Now, if this had been the only issue, I would simply be reporting this encounter to said kincall blog and moving on, however this individual did not stop at privately offending me. They chose to publicly offend me as well. They did not give my name or blog, but they made it out as if they were the victim and made multiple posts.

Even if an individual has psychosis that makes them believe that they are the only Anakin kin, in interacting with the kin community and saying that they want to find source mates and/or canon mates they are also acknowledging that there are different timelines and canons meaning that they aren't the only Anakin kin. It's okay to not want to interact with doubles, but it's not okay to invalidate doubles.

More information is available to those who request it, as I have a couple of screenshots (the message they sent from their main blog and the posts they made). Because it is not my intent to callout but, instead, to warn those who read this and to express my concerns I will NOT be including their blog names here.

Please be safe out there, everyone. And remember to be kind to others.

Happy holidays!

#kin community #negativity #will add cw tags upon request #not meant to trigger anyone #Star Wars kin

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dsmpkinfessions · 1 year

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small cw for slight transphobia , exile mention , and ctubbo neg (maybe? idk if it counts as neg if its my memories n experience??)

as a ctommy kin i feel jealous of other tommys that like their Tubbo . my Tubbo wasn't a very good person to me or anyone really and he wasnt a better friend either, he'd misgender me then immediately apologize saying he didnt mean it even though he was telling me that i was, "such a girl sometimes" (i was and am Transmasc) . Its just frustrating sometimes becuz i know not all Tubbos are like that but my "dearest friend" was such a prick and im so dependent on him and he's everything to me even if i dislike him . He didn't regret sending me to exile even after i told him what happened . it just hurts sometimes . to all Tommys n Tubbos that like each other, cherish each other for me please ! you all deserve the best . To any Tubbos, I bet you're awesome and 10 times better mine was :-] <3 -Sil0🦜

#this is the second tommy ive met thats had a tubbo like this chat r u good im worried - Mod Tubbo #dsmpkin #dsmp kin #dreamsmpkin #dreamsmp kin #dream smp kin #mcytkin #mcyt kin #tommyinnit kin #Sil0🦜#transphobia tw #exile mention #cw exile arc #(honestly idk if its c!tubs neg either so i. shall leave it. the tumblr censoring featur will grab it probably)

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canidkid · 1 year

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i saw that you have brett hand agere headcanons and as a trauma kin seeking comfort i’m going to have to ask you to share [pretty please?] /lh

Auuughh this took a bit I'm sorry!!

BUT WITH PLEASURE!! 🌠

BRETT HAND AGERE HEADCANONS ⭐🌈🐛🩹 !!

CW: panic attack mention, vent reg mention

**He first noticed it during the comedown periods after panic attacks. He'd get all floaty and ditzy for a bit. Brought it up with his therapist. They recommended looking into age regression and to see if he could potentially use it beneficially. - Sure, why not. Initially just got himself some adult coloring books and markers and started watching kids shows while he found his way back into a stable headspace. - It, eventually, did escalate. Namely with his regression being triggered at cognito, being the first time that had ever happened with someone else (Andre and Reagan) present.

He no longer struggles as much with accepting that side of himself. It's just the way he is. He's an adult, who sometimes just isn't. And that's okay. - **It's become more peaceful as well, no longer being exclusively triggered by panic attacks but also now being somewhat voluntary to de-escalate in certain situations.

His age range is both broad and hard to pinpoint! So he'll be sitting with a pacifier and a plushie...watching or doing something entirely not toddler appropriate!

He likes chewlery, teethers & pacifiers at any age! Though, he does have a general preference for chewlery!

Is really into just watching people, especially Reagan!! (she's still nervous about having the kid in her lab though, she doesn't like children, they are sticky…)

Definitely a little displaced in time, prefers 80s nostalgia over his actual 90s childhood

Loves to learn, anything and everything, bothering people with 2nd grade level fun facts is considered an activity for him

Fidgety. Never stops moving. His energy levels seem to somehow increase !? Loves outdoor play when he succeeds in pestering someone long enough to actually play with him!

Tends to float more around middle-space, at about 10-12!

"do you have games on your phone?" energy

Scooby Doo, Blue's Clues, Ghostbusters and Sesame Street are common background noise in the Hand Bachelor pad !

Not mega picky with food! But...if you really can't get him to eat something...ketchup or sprinkles will help 9/10 times..little weirdo /lh

Collects doggie toys!! Especially plushies!

The one thing he kept from his actual childhood is a yellow puppy luvvie,, it's still in pretty good shape and he's often toting it with him around the house!

Overall I think he's really just the sweetest little kid. He needs a fair amount of reassurance from those watching him that he, in fact, is not being too much or annoying. And they, IN FACT, are doing this because they love him and want to see him happy!!

**He does have his moments, not surprisingly. He's not always a happy camper when small, especially if negatively triggered. Sometimes it's a bit of a gamble if he'll come up from an episode and stay in his adult headspace, slip under and relax, or if you're gonna have an especially teary and clingy kiddo.

The gang loves him. Reagan would commit unspeakable atrocities for this kid. Gigi just wants to shower him in prezzies from rich auntie! Andre and Myc are..questionable babysitters...but nothing has happened yet! (because no one lets them babysit.) And Glenn has to be verbally whacked on occasion - no, Mr Dolphman, Brett does not want to learn how to [insert strange dolphin surgery veteran activity] !!!

I don't want this post to be too long but tbh I could go on!!! ⭐🌈

I hope these are good and enough for now >:]]

#sfw agere #agedre #agere #safe agere #fandom agere #pet regression #sfw petre #age regression #agere headcanons #agere hcs #inside job agere

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gendafluid-goblin · 1 year

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Silly Octopus

THIS IS A FIC ABOUT AZUL HAVING AN ED PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WIL TRIGGER OR MAKE YOU RELAPSE!!

This is going to be split up into a few parts on here and I will update the tags with each part with was CW needs to be in each part. This is not canon at all and is somewhat of a vent/comfort fic for me and maybe other people with ED? Not everyone is the same so not everyone will feel better seeing fictional characters you kin going through things you did.

CW for part 1: Binge eating, (forced eating?? His mother made a lot of food and had him taste test), panic attack, light self harm (he accidently digs his nails into himself during a breakdown), depressive/ negative thoughts about himself

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

“Try this, Hunny!” Azul’s mother cooed as she held out a spoon of food. He opened his mouth and tasted the new food she was trying out for the restaurant. One spoon of taste testing soon turned into five, and then fifteen. Azul became full long ago but he couldn’t deny his mother. He knew the restaurant meant a lot to her and she wanted the menu to be unique and delicious. Chews became slower and longer the more food he tested.

“Is,” Azul’s mother paused watching her son chew and chew “Is it not good? Is there too much of something? Too little?” she started frantically looking over the dish as Azul shook his head ‘no’ finally swallowing the food. “Is it just a bad dish then? That’s fine I have plenty of others here you already liked. I have more prepared too!” she scooped up another mouthful of food onto the spoon.

“No mother I,” Azul paused looking for the right words.Words that wouldn’t hurt his mother. “It was a good dish, really. I just, I’m not hungry right now, I’ve filled up on the last few dishes.” He sighed and looked down at his waist, his waist looked bigger as he moved his tentacles around. He would have to work all of this off later for sure. “I can call over the Leech twins to finish testing if you'd like though.” Azul looked at all the meals he still hadn’t tasted. “I’d hate for you to waste these meals after all your hard work afterall.”

“Oh, no need Sweetie. I can store the rest and we’ll test them out later!” she smiled so, so brightly at him. She loved cooking, she cooked to show her love. Azul knew that,and he loved his mother, but he didn’t love her weekly taste testing.

Azul forced a smile and closed his eyes “Alright. Thank you,” giving his mother a kiss on the cheek he turned away, “I’m going to go now,” was all he said before he swam away.

Azul sat in his Octopot curled in a ball, grabbing at his waist. Pinching and squeezing where his tentacles met his stomach. He felt disgusted by what he saw, how much he was able to grab before feeling anything. “Silly fat octopus.” he quoted the kids his age with a shaky voice. “Why can’t I just be thinner. Then I’d be faster. I could keep up with everyone else. I could test my mother's food for her.” He gripped his waste tighter with each word as cries racked his body. Raising his hand to wipe his tears off his face he noticed blood surrounding him and on his fingers. Azul looked at his fingers on his left, then right hand, both were bloody. He then looked at his tentacles, two of them had fingernail shaped cuts that were leaking blood into the water around him.

Azul took several breaths to calm himself. “Oh.” he wiped his face of tears and ink. Three knocks hit his door as it flung open almost slamming into the wall.

“Hey Azzuulll!” Floyd moved away from the door and swam into the room quickly. Much faster than he could ever swim, Azul thought to himself. Jade gave a small smile and closed the door swimming over to his twin. “Azul, where are you. I know you’re in here.” Floyd snapped.

“Floyd,” Jade looked around the room and pointed to his nose. “Don’t you smell that?�� Of course Jade and Floyd would be able to smell the blood from just moments ago. Azul didn’t want anyone to know about what happened. He was embarrassed to say something so silly as ‘I got upset about eating food and being so fat and useless that I accidently cut my tentacles.’; He would sound so much more pathetic than everyone already thinks he is.

“Aww someone got to eat big Azul before me. Not fair.” Floyd pouted.He didn’t have to see his face to hear the pout in his voice. Was he seriously upset that he didn’t get to eat him? Did he really call him big? Azul slowly crawled out of his Octopot and faced the twins.

“Oh good! You’re still alive!” Floyd cheered and swam over to Azul. “I couldn’t stand the idea of someone taking a bite outta you before I do.” Floyd threateningly whispered. Azul shivered and slowly backed away from Floyd giving a weary smile. Jade watched the interaction between his brother and peer when he noticed the blood smell was actually coming from Azul’s tentacles. Not knowing what to say or just not caring enough to ask, he let it drop.

“What brought you over anyway?” Azul asked when he deemed himself a safe distance from Floyd. ‘Not like it would matter anyway, they’re both much faster than me and could easily catch and eat me.’ Azul’s darker thoughts about himself popped in again.

“We were just swimming around and I got tired of scaring lil fish so I thought we could visit you.” Floyd said swimming in small circles to keep himself entertained while talking.

Azul thought over his words with a pause, “So I’m just here for your entertainment and amusement then I see?” it came out a bit more harsh than he had meant it to. However, they did burst in unannounced and furthermore at a bad time for him. There was no doubt that at least one of the Leech twins had realized the blood was from him and yet he was seemingly fine. Why weren’t they asking about it? They had to know something was up. Then it clicked, they don’t care WHY he’s bleeding. Floyd laid it out that they’re here being they were bored and he’s here to amuse them. Neither of them care about him or his well being as long as he can entertain them. While Azul’s mind led him down that rabbit hole thinking Jade was staring at him as Floyd continued to swim around and mess with things in Azul’s room. Jade looked into Azul’s eyes and just gave a smile.

“If it’s a bad time we can leave.” was all he said looking from Azul’s eyes to his tentacles then back in his eyes. He knew. And now Azul KNEW that Jade knew. Azul felt like he was suffocating, his throat was closing and his head started to pound in his head. He was panicking, he was scared what would happen with this information. Azul’s vision started to blur. ‘Were his only friends going to leave him behind and tell everyone how weak and pathetic he is to all of the other kids? Of course they would. He was slow, and weak, and a crybaby. No one ever wanted to play with him because it was too easy and boring and now he lost the only people who were somewhat nice to him.’ Azul’s breathing picked up rapidly while he was stuck in his thoughts, head spinning and tears and ink back in his eyes as he tightened and loosened his hands in a fist.

Jade watched the scene unfold in front of him and tapped his brother on the shoulder and leaned over to him. “I think Azul isn’t feeling well, we should leave unless you want to get sick.”

“Eww I don’t wanna get all sick and gross.” is all Floyd said, sticking his tongue out before quickly swimming out of the room. Jade swam out shortly after his brother and closed the door leaving Azul alone once again. Not that he would notice that no one else was left or that he cared. Azul had faintly seen Jade whisper to Floyd and then both of them leaving and it left his mind to continue wondering to the negative thoughts again thinking he was going to be all alone again. Back to the lonely, silly little octopus that he was before the twins came along. Azul floated back to his Octopot where he curled up and continued his breakdown of crying. He didn't even know why he was crying anymore. Was it because he thought and feared that once again he was alone with no one else? Or was it a continuation of his thoughts over his weight and insecurities the other children planted in him? He wasn’t sure and honestly it didn't matter anyway, all thoughts blended together into his self hatred filled thoughts.

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clefeatsass-themusical · 6 months

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ABOUT THIS BLOG

this is a fictionkin sideblog! My main is in the desc so go follow that :3

you can call me: Clef, Alto/Al, A major

prns: He/It/Chaos/They

What i post: i mainly will post fictkin memes and shitpost but i will also post kinmems (both negative and positive) and scp tale recommends

TAGS:

Clefposting = Kin joke/shitpost

UkuleleDreaming = kinmem

Scposting = rambles abt scp stuff

Ask answered = askbox post (also you can ask me anything anytime, it doesn’t need to be kin or scp related)

Mediamates and Doubles: Yes and yes, PLEASE INTERACT IF YOUR AN SCPKIN/FICTKIN OR A CLEF FICTKIN

Dni Below ⬇️

basic dni list: no homophobia, transphobia, Xenophobia, Radqueers, racism, basically any kind of discriminatory thing is a no.

kind of curated for me: im a minor so adults (anyone above 19) be wary when interacting, no sexual stuff or gore of any kind (imagery with blood is fine but put a CW), no proshippers or comshippers, no one who supports removing dr bright from the wiki

Specifically curated for me: no mentioning of scp 4231, any mention of mediamates death without warning equals in an automatic block, 166 kins are on thin ice (aka, no asks or comments) as it feels kind of weird interacting with them.

#Abt the blog #Clefposting #UkuleleDreaming #Scposting #fictionkin #scp kin

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fictionkinfessions · 1 year

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[ Tw/Cw: Negative talk of self. ]

• • •

I think my kins may be copinglinks that slowly mushed into my identity to cope with how much I hate myself, and in hopes of liking myself more, and maybe to make friends through mediamates, because unlike myself, I like and care about these characters so much that I just.. 'became' them. And its so much easier to make friends with someone when you feel like you've known them forever.

Honestly, I feel like my alterhuman identity is very complex. Involuntary, voluntary, permanent, temporary. I'm not sure and honestly, figuring that out is the least of my concerns right now. I am me, a complex being with a complex realm of identity. I am a river that runs fast and far, where pieces grow and wither. I will let this river flow. I will not block it to study it and figure out each little sea plant and examine every little fish that swims within it

I am a person, a creature, a character. I am a lot of things, and sure is not one of those things.

Sorry for the ramble, just felt like getting the details of my experience off my chest, out somewhere. Maybe this makes me something of a fraud? Or maybe just a peculiar kinfessionee. Maybe this resonates with someone out there don't? I don't know. Wherever the river flows.

I like river metaphors.

]

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #fictionalfrivolity #copinglink #mental health issue #mod party cat

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quietly-by-myself · 2 years

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Chapter 7 - Smoke, Salt, and Asbestos

Masterlist

Plot heavy chapter! Also Dubheasa POV. Tell me what you think of Dubheasa POV.

Previous | Next

CW: non-human whumpee (changeling), "it" as a pronoun, emotional trauma related to "evil" parents, human evil, discussion of human nature, caretaker falls ill, multiple caretakers, self-hatred/negative self-talk, migraines, limb loss (past)

===

I have often been told by the mages I speak to that not all fae magic is old. I've pressed many times for what they mean by this, only to be told that as humanity is young intelligent life, the fae once were, too. They often call the current way of alchemy cruel - something that transforms the body over time. I don't see much of a difference between magecraft and alchemy there, but they tell me that fae magic was once cruel, too. It is perhaps one of the few things we can agree on. Ancient fae curses are a terrifying thing indeed.

===

“Since you’ve been gone, we’ve learned more about these so-called wicked unions, or, at least, I have.”

Father regarded Silvanus quietly. It seemed to Silvanus that he was trying to dissect apart his emotions and figure out what the next thing to say would be. Father was very good at that. Extraordinarily so.

“It’s all very difficult to say.”

Silvanus’ heart dropped. Father didn’t think he could handle whatever the truth was.

I’m not a child anymore.

“We had another child that got dropped here who is much the same as you, child.” Father took a deep breath. “She’s the child of one of these wicked unions. We wanted to protect her the way we couldn’t protect you.”

Silvanus’ heart leaped as he looked up at Father. Another like me?

“I can’t say this easily, child, but your parents were people who used fae magic to murder fae creatures. Tortured them. The curse upon you is an old-fashioned one. It prevents the child of such parents from ever having a child with the ability to use fae magic. We’ve yet to figure out how to break it, but we’re going find something for you, child. Your pain is from trying to use fae magic. It damages your body. We won’t let that happen to her.”

If Silvanus wasn’t already on his knees, he surely would’ve fallen on them. He wasn’t sure what to feel at that moment. On one hand, he’d never known his parents. On the other, they’d murdered the very people who’d protected him and raised him for all those years. It felt, even if Silvanus knew it to be untrue, that their sins were inseparable from himself.

After all, it was the reason he was forced to leave.

Maybe it explained why he mastered such a volatile Source.

Maybe it even explained why he could only seem to hurt Briac.

What Father said was true - those headaches he’d developed as a child only seemed to grow worse as he sat there, waiting for Father’s next words.

Tears welled in his eyes.

“Child, please do not allow this to break your heart. You’re much stronger than you believe yourself to be.”

His words only made Silvanus tear up more.

“One day, we, too, will have to drive her out. It is inevitable. Dubheasa tells me you’ve done well for yourself as an alchemist. Though I know well that it may very well be against your oath, we hope that you might help us find somewhere that would take her in as an alchemist, to see if she has talent.”

Silvanus nodded with a heavy heart.

“There’s no way to break it?”

Father shook his head. “I’m afraid not, child. A fae that talented in curse magic… one so far gone as to curse an innocent child,” Father took a deep breath. “I dread meeting the creature that would be so cruel. Exacting curses on kin instead of the wrongdoer… I just hope our child does not have to join human society.”

Father took another deep, heavy breath. Silvanus could almost hear the weight on his chest as he tried to fill his lungs under its crushing power.

“I would like to meet that fae creature under your care. I hear he’s a changeling?”

Silvanus perked up a little. “Yes, he calls himself Briac. From what I understand, after they found out he wasn’t human, they tortured him for years. He um…” Silvanus tsked a little as he tried to put his words together. “Humans are awful. I hate them sometimes.”

Father regarded Silvanus sharply. “Human nature isn’t awful. Humankind is. There’s a big difference there. The fae can be just as cruel. Look at you.”

Silvanus sat in silence for a long time after that. Even as his conversation with Father came to a close for the day, he found himself lingering on that thought.

Am I really proof of any cruelty?

What if I had become like them, if I inherited their magic?

Maybe this is a gift.

Frankly, Silvanus had no clue what to think.

---

Briac could feel the magic running through the land in its body. It found the feeling of being stronger and relieved by such power disgusting.

Of course, it should’ve long accepted that it wasn’t human. It had known for years at that point. It was evil and was powered off of its evil magic. It could even heal its wretched, deceptive body with the magic of others.

It’s like they said.

I’m a leech.

Self-hatred boiled in it. It wanted to rip its heart out and be free of the pain of emotion and consciousness. Briac knew that its consciousness was a fabrication to fit in with the humans, but, perhaps, if Briac could rip out that heart that hurt in its chest whenever it thought of such things, it could be free of the pain.

Where am I anyway?

Somehow, the pain of its selfish heart had distracted Briac from its surroundings. The room it was in was dark, but something heavy covered it.

Blankets?

The sheets that covered it were thick and warm. In fact, they even smelled clean.

Briac pushed its head back on the pillow. The pillow was soft and springy, as was the mattress. These weren’t lumpy old things that were discarded and given to a disgusting creature. They were for someone much, much more worthy of them than Briac was.

The pain in its body was likewise overwhelming. The medication - the one that had hurt so much - had long since worn off. The pain of the broken bones, its neck - a list of injuries it didn’t dare think more about - had all come back like a train that had hit it. It couldn’t dispose of the blankets or clean them.

No! I can’t be beaten!

Panic was quick to take over. Maybe they were giving it nice blankets so it could be at peace before it was killed. Maybe they were preparing it for a burial and hadn’t realized it wasn’t dead yet. Maybe, just maybe, the blankets and mattress were a trap.

The doors opened to a magnificent figure. He smelled of old moss and the earth after a rainy day. Horns grew out of his head. The feeling of his ancient power was almost overwhelming. It made Briac want to crawl from its resting place and bow.

The creature merely smiled softly. “Rest easy child. I wish only to speak to you.”

Somehow, that smell of old moss slowly became reassuring. Briac felt the tense muscles in its body relax as the creature, with a long cape of furs, came and sat by its bed.

My tongue feels loose.

Why?

“Silvanus tells me that you came from a bad place?”

The great creature plucked a small mossen flower from his mossy, floral hair and handed it to Briac. The smell of the flower, as Briac smelled it, filled Briac with a sense of safety that it knew was magical. Regardless, it savored the taste of that fleeting sense of safety and relaxation.

“W-who are you?”

Briac’s damaged cords couldn’t even put together a simple sentence. It felt so completely and utterly embarrassed.

“You need not fear my judgment, child. That is squarely reserved for the ones who did this to you. I’m the spirit they call Father. I watch over lost, abandoned, and injured children of any race - human, animal, or fae.”

Briac nodded a little, still fighting that unfamiliar sense of embarrassment.

“I understand if you do not speak of it to me. I just ask simply if the other alchemists are treating you well? Silvanus, I have no doubts, is trying his best from my conversations with him.”

Briac looked a little shocked at the question.

“This creature has yet to meet many of them. This creature has met Maximilian and thinks that he is fair, if it is asked for such an opinion.”

“Fair as in kind or fair as in predictable in his tempers?”

The question was knowing. Briac got the sense that Father had dealt with this sort of situation before.

“Predictable in his tempers, Sir. This creature has not been hurt.”

Father sighed a little, another action that made Briac freeze at first.

“That’s good to hear, at least. I’m told you have significant injuries from iron. We will prepare you with treatments so that they do not hurt and they heal quickly. You are to leave with Silvanus, so you will not be able to spend much time here. He suffers headaches from this place.”

Headaches?

Briac nodded as though it knew. “This creature thanks you for your mercy, Sir.”

Father nodded to it. “Be kind to yourself, Briac. We will speak more at a later date. I think that you have much to work through before you and I will be productive in conversations.”

Briac nodded again, pretending to know. As the scent of Father left the room, it found itself longing for that calming, gentle scent.

---

Dubheasa never liked having the lights off in her quarters, but knew she had to compromise for her brother who’d started his migraines within two hours of entering the Repose. It wasn’t an entirely unfamiliar sight - the two of them had spent many nights together in the dark all those years ago.

That was a long time ago, it seemed. That was a time before they knew of Silvanus’ curse, when his migraines were just misfortune. That was before she found out that she didn’t have any talent for the healing arts.

Before my arm.

She grabbed her metal shoulder a little.

I need to get tea for him.

Caffeine always helped Silvanus. She suspected he still got his migraines over at the Hall, which is why he always had that caffeinated tea.

Maybe he gets it specially grown for him.

She grinned to herself. It would be very much like Silvanus to do.

Once she’d gathered the tea and crackers she made for Silvanus, she entered the darkness of her bedroom where Silvanus was lying to rest his head.

“Did you know?”

Dubheasa handed him the cup and plate. It didn’t take her long to figure out what he’d meant.

“Father did tell me, yes. I wanted him to tell you though. I’m not good with things like that. You know that.”

Silvanus sat up a little. Dubheasa guessed that his stomach was unsettled, which is why she’d brought crackers.

He snacked on them a little as she waited for his response. She knew him well enough to know that he needed the silence to put his words together.

“He doesn’t hate me.”

“Of course he doesn’t! He never did, Silvanus. He regretted not recognizing the curse sooner.”

Silvanus went quiet again, instead sipping on the tea. When he decided to pick the crackers up again, his bites were shy and small, as though he would hurt them.

“You’re so different. Everything is.” Silvanus gave a pained expression.

“You’ve changed, too. That’s what happens when time passes like this.” She waved her metal arm in the air.

“When you told me about the battle, that you were hurt but okay, I didn’t know what to think.”

Dubheasa laughed a little despite the seriousness of the conversation. “I’m not sure I did either.” Silvanus looked a little dejected so she tried a different approach. “I promise you one day, there will be a way to break that curse of yours.”

Silvanus laughed a little. “You're going to be the one who breaks it for me? Miss ‘I don’t want to study! I want to blow things up!’”

Dubheasa scowled at him. Sometimes she forgot that her destructive tendencies went back much farther than she herself remembered.

“Maybe not me, but someone.”

Again, they sat in silence.

“I hope that someone hurries up.” Silvanus was quiet again for a while, snacking and sipping. His tongue was always looser with his migraines at full force. “I don’t know how sustainable being an alchemist at the Hall really is.”

Dubheasa nodded a little. “You’re talented but you don’t have the ability to let go, right? Alchemists seem to be really good at that.”

Silvanus nodded.

“You’re bright, Silvanus. It’ll all work out in the end. Curse, no curse. Alchemist or not. Everything will be fine.”

“I just don’t want to humiliate Maximilian. He worked so hard to get me here after I left.”

It was sudden, almost jarringly so for Silvanus.

“You won’t. Try to get some sleep if the caffeine doesn’t keep you up. I’ll see if they can make something for your nausea.”

Silvanus crumbled back into the sheets like the leftovers of a cookie jar. “Thank you, Dubheasa.”

She nodded a little before deciding to head to the door. As she closed it, she could’ve sworn he’d said something else to her.

“I love you.”

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Tags: @hold-him-down, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @thegreatwhodini, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @nicolepascaline, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @whumpsday, @myhusbandsasemni, @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

#smoke salt and asbestos #whump #whump writing #briac #cw are above #whumpblr #silvanus #dubheasa

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lanami-legacy · 1 year

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❂ Welcome to Lanami Legacy! One-stop shop for everything related to the fanfiction: Force of Nature ❂

Force of Nature is a canon-divergent story that focuses on a family of Dark-Siders known as the Lanami Family. Starting from the prequel trilogy and ending (hopefully) by the end of the sequel trilogy.

There are other characters as well. Such as Mar Fett, the Karaay Family and my SWTOR OCs (who I refer to as the Obriv Legacy)

I'm CT (they/she/he)

My main OC blog is @/darth-caillic I'll follow and send asks from that blog

Character Masterlist HERE

Ship Masterlist HERE

AU Masterlist HERE

General:

DNI: whitewashers, re/ylo, rexso/ka, clonece/ster, obi/kin, any ma/ster/pada/wan shippers. Just keep that shit as away from me as you can.

CWs: Force of Nature explores topics of war, death, physical trauma, and generational trauma. There are also mentions of spider-like / deep sea creatures sometimes.

Due to the nature of the story, this blog with be 18+. There's no full-on NSFW, but there will most likely be some light jokes here or there, but in that case, I'll be tagging it as #nsfw

All stories in the Force of Nature canon focus on Sith or Dark-Siders. As a result, they'll often have negative opinions of Light Side characters, but please keep in mind their opinions don't 100% reflect my opinions.

There are no current plans for a taglist. I'll mostly likely reblog to my main with my current taglist