#kinda vent

[joifee]

Why making friends is hard

at least for me

#my social skills are weird #i can call somewhere infamiliar with no problem #talking to strangers? no problem #building up positive relationships? gosh i am lost #i listen and listen and listen but i never manage to get a hold of the other persons likes #or how to interact with them #and then i keep overthinking and then my chance is gone #joifeeramble #kinda vent #honestly i am not shy but socially awkward the moment i get close to someone #i think it coexists with my mind telling me i am never welcome and that everyone dislikes me #which isnt true #but its hard to overcome this hurdle

[cloud-ya]

just me and my pet against the world

#honkai impact #kiana kaslana #herrscher of the void #kinda vent

[stars-and-bards]

Venting through Sulemio.. it's difficult being strong, but knowing that you're doing so for the people you love, perhaps its enough to keep going.

#G_witch #gwitch #miorine rembran #suletta mercury #sulemio #mioletta #miorine x suletta #kinda vent #positive vent #StarsAndBards

[angelxd-3303]

Tw: blood

Finally! My first finished piece in almost a month and a half! Seasonal depression has been kicking my butt, but I'm insanely happy with how this turned out!

I think part of my problem has been trying to force myself to draw stuff that I think my fans expect and want. I want to finish my time travel comic, but I don't know if I'll be able to anytime soon. As such, I've decided to transfer to writing. I'll post a link to it when I post the first chapter, and once I find motivation to continue the comic I'll do so. It's not that I'm not interested in Mario anymore, it's just a matter of hyperfixations changing. Now and again I'll post Mario stuff; it'll always be an important part of my life. It just won't be the main focus. I'm finding my motivation in other things rn, like Fnaf. And that may change, phases come and go. I'm slowly coming to accept, however, that I produce the best art when I'm happy and excited about the subject. Forcing myself to draw certain things because I want to make others happy is a big part of why my motivation is lacking.

In other words, I'm still gonna post Mario stuff every now and then, but I'm gonna be exploring my other interests. I hope everyone understands, and I love you guys so much!

(also, this is just a lineup of some of my favorite animatronics, ignore the little fella in the middle, he's definitely not important... Definitely not something bigger... Nope.)

#traditional art #fnaf #important #mouse rambles #kinda vent #tw blo0d #nightmare bonnie my beloved #nightmare chica #fnaf lefty #mr. hippo #ennard #springtrap #also golden freddy if you squint #Cassidy being sneaky #fnaf oc

[eclipses-relationship-adventure]

"I need time alone" persotypicals when people with Cluster B disorders ALSO need time alone and can't talk to them.

#kinda vent #cluster b safe #bpd #hpd #npd #aspd

[tvheadfalls]

anyone else have like an extreme ego of how good their ocs and their story could be, coupled with the extreme insecurity that you cant possibly write anything that lives up to the concept so you wish you could give them to someone else

#blabs #kinda vent #not rly tho im just like oh my god. im a genius. i need to train in the mountains for this first tho

[teenytiny-ant]

Just like Francis Javier messed up her friendship with Aled, I messed mine up with them

#francis janvier #osemanverse #alice oseman #radio silence #aled last #kinda vent

[eskla-aeredale]

#pizza tower #my art #doodles #peppino #kinda vent #can't draw anything more finished atm

[jellynyann]

Now when I'm more in proship/profic spaces I feel more like free? I mean it's tiring to pretend to not like things I'm "not supposed to like" and hate "this bad evil pedo proshippers >:( ". I feel like I would want to just be in general openly proship but I'm scared to... Like there are people who hate me irl and I don't want them to have new things they can gossip about, I don't want to be accused of pedophilia by people irl etc. I also want to be openly cringe but I'm scared of that too. Like I would love to wear cat ears but I'm scared of people's reactions ;__; It would be so nice to just be ourselves but we care too much about other people's opinions about us.... I hope in the future it'll change

#☁️ #kinda vent #antis dni #anti proship dni #proship #proshipper #profic #profiction #pro fiction #proship please interact

[pluralcultureis]

Plural culture is wishing your little would tell the body's friends when she's fronting if she's with them, especially if the hosts partner is with them too because they need to know that if she somehow ends up in front alone

And being mildly frustrated that she doesn't do it, and every time is happens it just causes everybody in sys stress which makes it harder for someone else to get to front to get her out of front

-imp

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural Culture is #vent #rant #kinda vent #kind of vent

[cloud-ya]

może to coś zmieni

#honkai impact #kiana kaslana #herrscher of the void #tw nosebleed #tw blood #? dried blood on the tissue #kinda vent

[angelosearch]

I wanted to share something my therapist and I discussed today that perhaps will be helpful for others.

So I have been having a great time lately, sinking deep into fandom, writing, and creating art. It's been invigorating. I am so inspired and I feel as though I have found my people.

But I told my therapist that I had a lingering sense of guilt about it. Does socializing on Tumblr make me a shut-in? Does having a lot of internet friends make me chronically online? Is it a bad thing that I look forward to spending weekends writing and painting and listening to music instead of going out with friends or traveling?

She asked me: Why would it be bad? Who told you that?

"Dateline, probably," I said. "Chris Hansen."

Truthfully, I did an independent study of technology and rhetoric in college and I know, from a psychological perspective, there are some things a digital relationship just can't do for your brain. So Sherry Turkle is probably the other answer.

But what is community? How does it form?

Communities typically form around a common geographic location, goal, or interest. Your neighborhood is your community. If you like soccer, maybe your community is your sports team and those who cheer for it. If you want to celebrate a certain deity, your community may be the people you do that with. These forms of community normally have clear physical meeting locations.

"But your main interests are consuming and creating media," my therapist said. She's not wrong. "Where can you go for that community?"

In the physical world, there is no space or infastructure to support communities around all interests. There are video game clubs, sure. There are meetup groups for certain shows. But these communities are often small, transient, gatekept, inaccessible, or in far-flung parts of the country. I am sure all communities have those issues in some respect, but really - where can you physically and consistently meet up with people interested in a variety of media for free in a physical space?

Libraries? Maybe?

The internet is the space for my main interest. This is where I can go to be myself and be excited and know that I will be celebrated for it by people who feel the same. We are a community of people who love FFVIII or writing or media of all types. There shouldn't be shame in that because it is a goddamn miracle that this space exists and I can share it with people of all ages all around the world.

So, Chris Hansen, Sherry Turkle, and everyone who snickers at my internet usage: yeah, maybe there are some things I can't do/have online. But there are some things I can't have offline either!

I am not chronically online. I am enthusiastically online. I love this little corner of the internet and it's okay if it sometimes feels better than doing stuff "irl." I can enjoy being here and not feel guilty and still go afk and "touch grass" or whatever. Both can be true.

#mainly writing this to pound it into my own head because I can feel guilty about anything at anytime #it's my superpower #personal essay #journaling #kinda vent #therapy recap #personal #therapy

[angelxd-3303]

I feel like sitting on Optimus' hood in the middle of nowhere venting while he listens patiently would fix me. Anyone else?

Also, I may or may not have made another tfp oc... I may post something more about him, like I did with Mason.

#traditional art #transformers prime #tfp optimus prime #tfp oc #kinda vent #well he's venting lol #seriously tho Optimus in general would fix me. Or at least make me feel understood.

[url0cal-weird0]

I love hearing about native and trans kids but not when they're dead.

#nex benedict #tw death #kinda vent

[ruanais]

…..

#Y’know that guy that told me I’m pretty and cute? #Well he just told me I’m selfish for wanting to die and to get over it + his life is worse #…don’t compare trauma lovelies <3 #Pls and he even said it’s cause he cares #ᨳ—rua’s gossip #kinda vent #I felt #disappointed #he told me I could tell him anything and then #Sighs #he told me to get over it cause my life is not a manga or anime #Like sorry I have my own limits

[fianne-0123]

My sisters do not look at me as much as I look at them.

She thinks that I am my mother’s favorite but they are each other’s favorite and I have nobody if not my mother. But my mother does not listen to me, so in reality, I truly have nobody.

My elder sister will not know how I make my fried rice. She will not know about my 6th grade unrequited love, about my favorite authors, and my talents. She will not know.

But I will know her like the back of my hand; I know how she loves watching true crime, I know how much she adores dogs and how particular she is about her stuff and I will take all of this to the grave.

(I do not want to, I think, but I feel more than that.)

I know how she’s still hungry after, in a fight with mother, she says she isn’t. 

I know she is so I will stay behind and eat a little bit slower. I’ll whisper to mom hushedly, “I’ll wipe the table and wash the dishes” to get her off my back, even if I don’t want to, but because I want my sister to eat.

I see her and she doesn’t see me. Or, she does see me but she doesn’t understand me. She looks at me like I’m darkness looming through her and she looks at me like I’ve somehow ruined her life and I don’t know what I’ve done. 

I haven’t done anything but it’s almost like I’ve died in my mother’s womb, and I am now just a ghost haunting them for when I speak they respond but their arms dig past my heart and instead of feeling through me, they feel past me.

I’m here and they’re choosing to ignore me.

I’m here and it’s like I’ve never been. 

I stand on my right foot and contort my body into a woman when I am barely a teenager, and I would do so again and again just for her to see me.

I would tear my body in half for her to see me for me.

I am afraid that she will only do so when my body has long decomposed in its casket and she receives my folder of files just like this one, detailing how I’ve felt.

Shivers may pass through her veins, and instead of satisfaction, she will feel guilt. She will feel rotten and disgusting. I do not want that.

I am torn into bits and pieces and my lungs have been removed and yet I am still breathing and I am already inexplicably dead when I feel shame for dying out of guilt for living.

#poeming #pem #poem #potry #NOT POTTERY #poetry #man #family issues #youngest sister #i crave validation #estrangement #trying #trying to be a good sister #(somehow failing.) #i love my sister #i love my sisters #kinda vent #this is a cry for help #banana phone