#kinda worried about this ambush

[bluebeary-jay]

clouded judgment / clear mind

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: it was a long time since Joel had felt a maddening rage like this, but he weren't about to let anyone who dares to hurt you get away with it (based on this ask)

Tags: Joel goes apeshit, angst, a bit of comfort at the end, established relationship, protective Joel (REALLY protective lmao), basically he goes feral

Warnings: uh. VERY graphic descriptions of violence (I'm not good at writing action sequences but it is graphic), swearing, kinda torturing 😬

Word count: 4.5K

A/N: this one was really challenging, but i hope yall will like what i came up with :) i really didn't expect it to be so difficult to write buuut i tried to focus on the "giving-his-brother-nightmares" side of Joel and i think i succeeded. anyway !!! happy reading ❤️

He should have never left you alone.

Which was a ridiculous thought, of course, because how are you supposed to patrol efficiently if the other person refuses to leave your side even for a moment? Besides, he didn’t want you to think he didn’t trust you – he saw multiple times what you were capable of first-hand and he knew you were able to take care of yourself.

He put it forward once – to not split up and patrol the same area within the eyeshot of each other. You sent him a crooked smile at that, saying something about him being a little too overprotective before you gave him a kiss and went on your merry way, leaving him alone and slightly annoyed (but with a faint, stupid grin on his face).

So he tried to rein in this ‘overprotectiveness’ you mentioned. He never brought it up again, even though a cold shiver ran up his spine every time he lost sight of you beyond the safe walls of Jackson. Each time you two went on a patrol, he had to take a second to calm down and remind himself this is not one of his dreams when he loses you.

That’s why at first, when he heard your voice screaming his name from a distance, he wasn’t sure if it was really happening.

The instinct, however, kicked in the next second and he rushed back to where he saw you last, to the interior of a resort around which he was scouting. This was supposed to be one of the safest options for patrolling – no one ever saw any signs of life here besides occasional infected, and Joel was never that worried when you went inside alone to check the place.

He had a feeling his cautious (he really didn’t want to call it ‘overprotective’) nature was gonna become a nuisance again after this incident.

The goddamn downpour outside made listening for any noises aggravatingly difficult. Joel yelled for you, but he didn’t hear any answer and the driving rain beating against the windows of the resort absorbed all the sounds.

He made his way inside the building and up the stairs when he noticed your hat lying discarded against the wall. A wave of ice-cold dread washed over him. The stairway was dark but even with the little light he had he could see a couple of wet, almost black droplets on the dirty floor.

What he felt next reminded him of falling asleep – his shoulders relaxed and from head to toe a cool, silent equilibrium crept over him. Joel gripped his rifle firmly and pushed on soundlessly. It didn’t seem like you were stabbed or shot – there would be much more blood present – but you were hurt. Someone must’ve laid in wait to ambush you, and now…

It didn’t matter. Whoever it was, they made a grave mistake.

Joel reached the second floor, listening intently for any clues as to where you might be or how many people are in the building with him, but he didn’t even have to check the rooms one by one. A faint light, which couldn't have been left by the previous patrol, was spilling out from underneath the doors at the far end of the corridor . He did consider the possibility that it was a decoy and your attacker was hiding in one of the other rooms, but the closer he got to the sliver of light on the dusty floor, and the more doors he passed, it became clear that whoever got you, they weren’t that cunning.

And then he heard it. A sound of a blow from the other side of the door, and then a strangled cry.

It was you. Your voice.

Joel took a deep breath, gritted his teeth and kicked the door open, bursting into the room with his rifle held high – only to find himself surrounded by six men, five of whom were holding him at gunpoint.

The sixth one, a ragged-looking blond, stood over you and the second he saw Joel, he grabbed you by the hair and pressed a knife against your neck, making both you and Joel freeze.

“You’re from this town nearby, right?” asked the man with a heavy accent Joel couldn’t place. “The one that fucking shoots off any newcomers.”

Joel didn’t answer. Didn’t even look at this man. All he could see was your bruised and battered face and the blood running freely from your – probably broken – nose and down your chin. You had a black eye and a split brow, but your gaze was sharp and alert when you looked back at him.

He felt like his insides were boiling.

“Hey, dickhead!” the leader of the group yelled, gripping your hair tighter and making you hiss in pain. “You deaf or something?”

Joel finally managed to take his eyes off you – your blood and your bruises, and the concealed fear on your face – and glared at the man standing over you. His jaw was clenched and nostrils flaring, but he quickly collected himself. He couldn’t let his emotions get the better of him when you were in danger.

He lifted his hands slowly, showing that he was no threat to them. The thug tilted his head at one of his friends.

“Put down your gun and slide it over.”

Joel watched you following his movements with your eyes as he carefully put his rifle down and kicked it in the direction of one of the men. The blond holding the knife nodded twice.

“Now. You two are from the town, aren’tcha?”

“Let her go,” said Joel, trying to remain calm and not use – quoting Ellie – his ‘asshole voice’. “Then we’ll talk.”

The man shook his head and chuckled.

“Oh, no, no.” He pressed the blade harder against your throat. “We have the upper hand here. You understand?”

The man was looking at him expectantly but Joel’s eyes were nailed on the trickle of blood now running down the column of your neck. He remembered kissing that same neck this morning and tickling it with his nose, and the thought of this fucking bastard cutting your soft skin and leaving such a mark on it made him feel like he was about to burst.

“Fine,” he ground out with his jaw set. He looked over at the leader of the group. “What do you want?”

Had any of them been smarter, they would have picked up a dangerous note in his voice. But just like he suspected, they weren’t that bright.

“You go back to your town and bring five more horses here,” said the blond.  “And ammo. My buddy here,” he used his chin to point at another guy, standing behind Joel, “will tell you what kind. You try anything or come back with someone else, and I’ll slit her throat right open.”

“She will go get that shit for you and I will stay,” Joel negotiated strongly, but the leader of the group shook his head again.

“No. No way. You go and bring back everything we ask for, and I’ll let your little friend go.”

Joel’s eyes once again shifted to your form and something inside his chest twitched. You noticed it – of course you did, you were always able to read him like no one else – and tried to offer him a half smile.

“I’ll be fine, Joel,” you reassured him. “Nothing I haven’t–”

“Shut your trap!” The shorter man standing to your right yelled and raised his hand, making you flinch.

Joel could almost feel fire burning in his veins and through his skin, peeling it off his bones.

“Hey! There’s no need for that!” he said louder, taking a step forward, but the gang lifted their guns higher. He stopped and spread his arms wider. “I’ll get you the stuff you want. Just leave her alone.”

“You better hurry, then,” said the blond with a nasty smile, and Joel nodded while trying not to look too desperate. He looked at his friend. “Tell him what we need.”

Joel didn’t give a shit what they were saying – it was him who needed to think of something, and fast. He had a suspicion as to who these men were – he heard from Tommy about a larger group trying to gain entry to Jackson several times. Apparently they threatened the patrol which found them when they were denied permission to join their community. It was before Joel came to the small town for the first time with you and Ellie, but the word around was that any rogue group around this terrains wasn’t to be trusted.

And everything from the description Tommy gave him fit: ragged looks, traveling on foot, low on ammunition.

While one of the men listed what kind of guns they had and how much supplies they wanted, a motion in Joel’s field of vision caught his attention and his eyes darted to you – or more specifically, to your left hand.

You stared right back at him, moving your fingers slightly so the others didn’t notice.

N… O… A… M…

No ammo.

None? That’s probably why the one standing next to you wasn’t holding you at gunpoint but with a knife to the throat. The rest of them must’ve had their pistols drawn just for show. Joel had no idea how you figured it out, but a thought struck him and he surveyed the members of the group. He remembered which one held onto his rifle, but you were armed, too…

As if reading his mind, your fingers started to twitch again the second he looked back at you.

U... Left… B, E, H, I…

Suddenly the man to your right bowed over you again and punched you square in the stomach, knocking the wind out of you.

“Fucking bitch,” he snarled with contempt and glared back at Joel. “No funny games, you hear me? You come back with a gun or anyone else, and I won’t hesitate to fucking kill her, man.”

Joel’s heart was pounding in his chest. All he could see was your face contorted in pain, all he could hear were your coughs and grunts.

Two of the men came forward – the one on his left had a loaded gun from what you managed to convey to him in sign language – and pushed him towards the exit. Joel shifted his icy stare at the man standing next to him, and then at the two situated near you.

They were all going to die.

When he gets back, he’s going to kill every one last of them, and he’s going to enjoy it immensely.

Joel sent you one last look before turning around and slowly walking out of the room with both men close behind, pointing their guns (and only one of them loaded) at him.

It was going to be alright. He had a stirring of a plan and when he comes back, maybe with Tommy or someone else…

You gasped and coughed again behind his back after the sound of another punch.

Joel came to a dead stop, not registering the gun barrel digging into his back, and he felt like his jaw was going to snap if he kept clenching it like that.

You murmured something he didn’t quite catch and Joel turned his head slightly just in time to see the short man kicking you in the ribs and your form lying on the wooden floor, spitting out blood…

“You think you’re so clever, huh? I swear to fucking god, if you pull something like that again…”

Joel didn’t even let the man finish.

In a split second he elbowed the man behind him, grabbing his hand holding the gun – the one they took from you – and shooting the blond standing over you. He fell backwards and the knife fell out of his grip. Taking out the guy Joel grappled with was embarrassingly easy, and once he had a good grip on the pistol belonging to you, he spun around to face the other thug with his gun, standing on the opposite side of the room.

The ragged man fired at him, but Joel didn’t even need to duck, for the bullet missed him by half a meter at least. The man was lying dead soon after, shot twice in the head, and the remaining three took out their weapons, ready for a fight.

None of them reached for Joel’s rifle, lying under their friend’s corpse.

“That’s even better,” he murmured to himself, unloading the gun and throwing it against the far wall.

If looks could kill, they’d already be lying on the ground and writhing in agony. But Joel was more than happy to do it himself. And with his bare hands.

He strode with confidence to the nearest man who swung a machete at him. Joel avoided the attack and pushed him back, quickly darting to the side and decking the other man coming at him.

A sharp pain ripped through his body from the back of his arm when the third thug cut through his clothes. Joel blocked the second strike and twisted the opponent's arm, applying so much pressure that the bone in the forearm snapped and the man’s scream pierced the air.

He lurched back to dodge the machete aimed at his neck and picked up a knife dropped by the previous guy. He surged forward, driving the blade into the thigh of his current attacker, which made the other man lose his balance. Their friend, the last one still unharmed, managed to punch Joel’s jaw, making something crack and reverberate inside his skull, but he only wiped the blood from his face.

When the last thug came closer, Joel used his own momentum and grabbed the back of his skull, bringing the guy's face down onto his own knee. After that his movements were practically automatic when he grabbed the dazed man from behind and broke his neck in a swift motion.

Breathing heavily, he made his way to the first man he knocked out and took your gun from, picking up the machete en route. That son of a bitch wasn’t even conscious, but it didn’t stop Joel from bringing the weapon down and through his head.

The next one was the bastard with the broken arm, but his screams quickly died away when he, too, received a deep and lethal wound from Joel – this time aimed at his chest, almost cutting it open.

Your yelp ripped through the roar of blood in his ears and Joel turned around just in time to see the blond he shot in the shoulder sitting on top of you, trying to stab you with his knife. You managed to dodge it and before that idiot could try again, Joel came up to you both, grabbed the man’s hair and all but threw him off of you and onto the floor.

The blond was still holding the weapon in his hand, but didn’t get another chance to use it – with all his strength Joel brought the heel of his heavy boot down on the injured man's fingers. The man screamed when the satisfying crunch of the bones in his hand breaking echoed throughout the room and Joel couldn't hide a smirk.

He deserved it. All of them deserved it.

He again saw before his eyes the way this motherfucker kicked you and how his friend threatened to cut your throat. Again he saw red.

“You piece of shit,” Joel whispered, still blinded by rage, and gave the man a taste of his own medicine by kicking him in the stomach as hard as he could. The bastard coughed and yelled in pain but it wasn’t enough.

Joel’s focus was sharp and clear when he stood over the battered and bleeding man, staring down at him with hatred. He thought the blond tried to say something – his lips were certainly moving – but he didn’t concern himself with any begging or threats the thug had to offer. Instead he gripped the front of his sweater and punched him in the jaw, letting the limp body fall to the floor and relishing in the sounds of his curses, his grunts of pain, his blood dripping onto the floor…

Not enough.

Joel did that several more times – grabbing the idiot’s clothes, hair, whatever – to pull him up and hit him in the jaw, temple, nose and wherever else his fist landed. The face of the man was bloodied and he was barely conscious at this point and still all Joel could see was the look of sadistic glee on this man's face after finding an excuse to hurt you.

Joel didn’t have much strength anymore, but he ignored the biting pain from the cut on his arm and the raw wounds on his bloody knuckles, and straddled the lying man. The survival instinct must've kicked in and the blond started to tussle, reaching with his not-broken fingers to Joel’s face, scratching his brow and cheek.

And just like the glee he saw in the thug’s eyes earlier, Joel was more than happy that he gave him an excuse – and an idea – how to hurt him more.

“I saw how you looked at her,” he said in a low tone to the unlucky man, holding his left arm in place with his knee and pressing his own thumb to that fucker's swollen eye. “You like hearin’ people screamin’ in pain? Because I just know this is going to bring me great joy.”

Blood was flowing from under Joel’s finger and down his hand when he gouged the blond’s eye out and the man was shrieking. He was writhing and struggling under Joel's weight, and his voice became guttural and hoarse soon after when the dark blood started to flood his mouth. Joel pulled his hand away, panting heavily, and soaked in the suffering of that bastard whose face now resembled a smashed, bloody goo.

Not enough.

It was unfortunate that the blond was the only one left Joel could take it out on, but he couldn’t find any compassion in himself at the moment. So he punched him again, staining the floor with the scumbug's blood.

And again.

And again.

And again.

“Joel.”

Joel turned around sharply, grasping the thug’s knife. He could still feel rage churning inside of him and he was breathing heavily, trying to contain the fury filling him without screaming out loud. His hands were covered in blood – not his – and he subconsciously knew that the man lying motionlessly under him was long since dead, his face completely destroyed, but he wished that son of a bitch was still alive so that he could feel the suffering Joel longed to inflict upon him.

Everything because he hurt you.

You…

The ringing in his ears stopped suddenly and the knife fell out of his hand when he ran up to where you were still lying on the floor. You were curled up on your side with your arms wrapped protectively around your stomach and your face twisted in pain.

Joel’s breathing got quicker, now for an entirely different reason, when he noticed that the cut on your neck was bigger than he originally thought, and still bleeding. Your face was bruised and he knew your whole torso will probably turn green and purple soon, too.

“Oh, babygirl,” he whispered tenderly, his trembling hands hovering above your body, but not touching it. “It’s…” It’s alright, he wanted to say. Or maybe, where does it hurt the most?

He had trouble finding his voice, though. In his fury he completely forgot that you were still here and in need of his help.

You took a deep breath and turned your head ever so slightly to look at him in the corner of your eye. A sad smile appeared on your face.

“Hi, Joel.”

Joel breathed in. Out. In again.

For fuck’s sake, what was he thinking?

He quickly wiped the blood of the people he killed on his pants and cursed at himself mentally.

“Hi, darlin’,” he murmured in response, focusing back on you. “You’re gonna be alright. How are you feeling?”

“I think I might have a broken rib or two,” you breathed while Joel pulled out a clean piece of cloth he carried in his jacket for cases like this one and pressed it against the cut on the side of your neck. You winced and he felt a pang of pain in his own chest.

“Can I check?”

You let go of your stomach with a strangled gasp. Joel started to gently feel your torso, trying to discern if he could feel any broken bones or signs of internal bleeding. He kept his touch as delicate as he could, not wanting to hurt you even more, or worse – scare you.

He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking, though, no matter how much he tried to calm his breathing. He wished he could hold you as securely as he held his gun, with a quiet heart and sharp focus, but the fear of accidentally hurting you made his fingertips recoil at times.

Although you two knew each other for years now, you were never a witness to this cruel side of him. You knew about it, of course, of horrible things he’s done before he got to Boston and met you. A couple of times you even saw with your own eyes snippets of these primary emotions of fear or anger overtaking Joel’s mind and body.

But never like that. Never with such ferocity, hatred and satisfaction from hurting those who did the same to you.

He just really didn’t want you to be afraid of him. You were so precious to him and often he thought those brutal hands of his, which he knew were guilty of inflicting unimaginable pain and suffering, weren't worthy of touching someone who in his eyes was so delicate and pure.

But it never stopped you from seeking his touch, and although Joel could be stubborn and tough at times, he didn’t have it in himself to ever refuse you anything – even when he knew better.

That was always the case. His judgment and mind were clouded when it came to you.

“I don’t think anythin’ is broken,” he finally said in a quiet voice, cupping your cheek gingerly and turning your head to look at it better. “But the nose probably is. How did it happen?”

“They jumped out on me in the hallway,” you answered, not meeting his eyes while he gently touched the base of your nose. Then you looked to the window against which the still pouring rain was beating. “One of them punched me when I shouted for you. I thought you might have not heard me.”

“I heard you,” he murmured and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. You came for me pretty quickly, so–”

“Not that. M’sorry you had to see… this.”

To that, you didn't say anything. Joel felt his heart clenching on itself and almost stopping from the wave of terror that washed over him.

His treacherous mind was rushing him to defend his actions or make excuses – because if he doesn’t, if it turns out you’re scared of him and the things he’s capable of…

You might leave him. And if you leave, Joel won’t survive that.

But he didn’t give in to those cruel thoughts and silenced the voice in his head.

“I’d do it again,” he said quietly, making you lift your head. “In a heartbeat. I’m really sorry you had to see that, darlin’, but I… just know I’d never hurt you. And if I can help it, no one else will either.”

“Hey.” Your knuckles brushed his cheek and you looked at him with sad eyes. “You don’t need to explain yourself. I know you did it to protect me.”

“I wanted them to suffer,” he continued as if you didn’t say anything, but at the same time he soaked in the feeling of your soft touch on his face. “I don’t know how much you saw–”

“Joel.” You sat up with a wince after interrupting him, and your gaze turned sharp. “Why are you telling me this?”

Even though the bloody, battered mess that he made of the blond man seemed to push itself into Joel’s field of vision, he refused to look away from you.

“‘Cause you need to know. I feel like I’d be lyin’ to you if I didn’t explain that it wasn’t an accident or a one-time thing,” he answered, his eyes flickering from your neck to your face, and down to his own stained hands. “Couldn’t think of anythin’ else after I saw you like that, on the ground and…”

“Listen to me.” You took his head firmly in your hands and your gaze was unwavering – like you wanted to make sure that your every word will reach the depths of his soul. “I’ll say it again: you don’t need to explain. I get why you did that. And don’t even think you’re gonna drive me away because of that.”

You knew him too well. Sometimes it was slightly annoying, sometimes even scary.

This time, however, it felt reassuring.

You looked to the side where the body of his last victim lay, and Joel grimaced, gently touching the edge of your jaw and tilting it back to him. “Don’t look,” he whispered, realizing with surprise, as well as a horrible lump in his throat, that he felt almost ashamed.

Your bright eyes met his again and he briefly wondered if your gaze always was so scrutinizing.

“I’m not scared of you,” you said sternly, like always knowing what was going on in his head. “I'm not, so stop thinking that.” You shook him by the arm a little and when he didn’t answer, the corner of your lips tugged upwards in a teasing manner. “I’ve seen you multiple times in the morning. I know you’re secretly a big softie.”

Joel really didn’t deserve this kind of kindness and understanding from you. That didn’t stop him from craving it, though.

He didn't say anything – just leaned in and kissed your cheek tenderly, lingering there for a moment but paying attention not to brush your nose. You exhaled and closed your eyes, your eyelashes tickling his skin, and he decided not to drag this conversation on any longer.

“Come ‘ere, sweetheart. I’ll help you up.”

He stood up and held out his hand. It was rough and covered in blood, but even after you saw what he did to those men and heard their screams, you didn’t hesitate to take it.

“Joel,” you said gravely after standing up. There was no trace of your previous smile on your face. “If you were the one in danger, I’d do the same thing.”

You were looking at him expectantly, clearly waiting for an answer, and after a couple of seconds he nodded slightly. Apparently it was good enough for you, because you just squeezed his hand and tugged him after you and out of the room.

Joel didn’t know if he believed you.

But your words made him feel calmer and cleared his clouded mind nonetheless.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #the last of us #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x you #joel tlou #pedro pascal #joel miller #tlou hbo #the last of us fanfiction

[impactedfates]

Hi hi I'm feeling so cruel right now >:]

So uuuh HCs for DH[IL], Jingyuan, Blade and Welt reacts how does their child [reader] dies... Like imagine how reader dies is like how the Genshin Playable characters die [they dusted away]

Please feed me a n gst

—🫶🏻 Anon

★ A/N: The way the reader dies reminds me of how one of my ocs species dies lmao. Hopefully this is up your ally :))

☆ Genre/Trope: Platonic + Familial + Angst

★ Format: Bullet Pointed HeadCannons (It kinda turned into a mini story I think-)

☆ Warnings: Mentions of Death (Readers)

★ Extra: Adopted reader in all // Reader is under 12 for Dan Fengs, and in their teens for the rest // Giving Jing Yuan more of a sad life/hj // Wrote this in WellBeing class lmao // Characters may be OOC

Dan Feng as a High Elder doesn’t always have the time to really see you. Sure when he first adopted you he did spend a good chunk of his time with you but eventually his duties caught up.

He appointed someone to look after you. Someone that you knew and that he knew. Someone trustworthy.

So when he came back to his home early one day, the house dead silent. He grew worried. He called out to the person, to you. But there was no response.

He walked to your room, perhaps the both of you fell asleep. Wouldn’t be the first time.

But all he could witness was dust covering your room. And the man no where to be seen.

He knew instantly where that dust came from, he was quick to search for him. Found him hiding thinking he could get away, unaware that Dan Feng would be home early, unaware Dan Feng would catch him.

The man he had trusted to protect you, was the same man who ended the life you should’ve continued to have.

Dan Feng was quick to throw the man in the Shackling Prison, praying to whatever Aeon that can hear him that he gets what he deserves.

He collected as much of the dust that was still in his house, the last thing that he had of you. And carefully placed them in a jar.

Many question the High Elder why he holds a jar of dust so dearly to him, and all those times he refuses to answer. Not wanting to break down in front of the other Vidyadharas.

It was only a mission, a mission he sent you and Yanqing on. He had thought there were only a few Mara struck soldiers that had to be defeated.

He had wondered why Yanqing slowly entered the Seat of Divine Foresight without you. He had wondered why Yanqing was breathing rapidly and on the verge of tears.

Jing Yuan comforted Yanqing before asking about your whereabouts. Perhaps you were getting snacks after a successful mission? Yanqing could only try to explain in a shaky voice, clearly startled and upset.

But why would he be upset? You were his adopted sibling and was usually so kind to him. You wouldn’t have done anything to hurt him?

Yanqing tried his best to explain, stuttering over his words and needing to take a few deep breaths, the General listened carefully.

…Ambush? Well…Jing Yuan supposed he made an error in that. He only thought there were a few. Wow, if you and Yanqing didn’t know about that then you could’ve been caught off guard and…

Oh!

Oh…

Jing Yuan quickly connected the dots, he slowly held Yanqing closer, witnessing his own sibling fall to the hands of the Mara struck then be faced with dealing with the remaining enemies…he couldn’t imagine the stress.

A ceremony was held in your honour. Your dust already gone away like the wind so your memories will follow as he sends multiple starsciff at with gifts.

But he’ll always remember, he’ll remember the regret he felt that he couldn’t do anything nor could he have seen that an ambush would occur.

He wished he could’ve done something.

Are you dumb or something??

Blade could’ve taken that hit. Why’d you have to take it!?

He would’ve been fine. He wouldn’t been okay, a relief would’ve washed over him even though he knew he’d survive.

So then why did you have to take the hit that was meant for him, and leave him in a state of rage?

He quickly disposed of the pests that caused your demise, before trying to check on you. But all he could do was watch as your body dusts away.

He tried his best to grab any dust he could but most went with the wind. All he could do was stand there questioning why you would do that.

He said he’d protect you. Everyone else in the Stellaron Hunters were busy so he had to take you with him when he did his part. Yet it ended with you gone.

There was a small ceremony for your disappearance from the earth. Elio as much as he may not want too, he continued sending people on missions however allowed Blade to opt out of them he could properly mourn.

Blade still wonders why you decided to save him when he would’ve been fine, he wonders if he’d be able to save you if he noticed the enemy creepy behind him.

It was just a small argument. Welt felt bad but allowed you to storm off. You’d return eventually anyways. You’d return once dinner was ready back at the express, you knew what time that was.

But you never did return did you? Welt had thought long and hard and was ready to apologise for his words yet you weren’t back yet? Did you get dinner then go to your room?

He went to check, your room was the exact same you left it.

Did…anyone see you come back? He questioned the members of the express. None have seen you.

Finally he grabbed his coat and cane and went to look for you. Went in the direction you went and searched. As he walked his foot stepped in something. Looking down confused, his eyes widened.

Golden Dust. Dust that he knew belonged to you. Dust that told him you were gone.

And he wasn’t able to tell you he was sorry.

Welt is silent as he walks back, he let the wind take your dust elsewhere. A place he hopes you’d be happy in.

He was quiet but able to tell the express what happened. Each of them holding a small funeral for you. They kept your room intact, filled with things you loved before locking it. That room will no longer be filled with warmth but will soon grow cold.

Welt drew a picture of you, keeping it safe with him. And despite how it may seem that eventually he was over your death. He could never be.

Not until he was able to apologise for the argument.

But that won’t happen anytime soon now will it?

This was actually rlly fun to write!! Especially in well-being haha. This was meant to be posted yesterday but something came up so here it is now haha.

Might've missed some warnings, so as always. Please inform me if I did.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x reader #hsr imagines #platonic hsr #Dan Feng x Reader #Dan Feng x You #Jing Yuan x Reader #Jing Yuan x You #Blade x Reader #Blade x You #Welt x Reader #Welt x You #Platonic Dan Feng x Reader #Platonic Jing Yuan x Reader #Platonic Blade x Reader #Platonic Welt x Reader #🎭 masked fools #hsr platonic

[roseglazedlens]

⦑ THE FUCKING DEAD ⦒ 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥’𝐬 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ➠ series masterlist | ⏪prologue | 🔃boy’s route | ⏩resolution

𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓┇𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐑��𝐑┇𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐅𝐈𝐂┇𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 JILL VALENTINE X AFAB GN! READER ADA WONG X AFAB GN! READER synopsis: You split ways with Leon and Carlos, choosing to accompany Jill and Ada to Glenn Arias' office. One of you is already infected... content: 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈, dubcon, threesome, zombie fucking, oral (reader & f! receiving), toys (vibrator + strap-on in one hole), squirting, fisting, knifeplay, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, latex kink, face sitting, cervix penetration, tonguefuck, hand & finger kink, nipple play, mating press (kinda), choking, body marking, body horror, slight objectification, body fluids, and pet names (kitty, darling). a/n: am gay thanks for cumming to my ted talk « 6 k words | general masterlist | ao3 | reblogs appreciated! »

The five of you parted ways—for better or worse. Is there a choice for you anyway? This is unanimous from everyone. So, you decide to follow the most logical choice: complete the mission as you are instructed, instead of seeking distractions with time you can’t afford to lose.

Leon and Carlos bid the three of you farewell, venturing underground to locate the source of a gas that may or may not be a distraction or an ambush. You, Jill, and Ada will continue upstairs to infiltrate Glenn Arias’ personal office, retrieving the concentrated sample with utmost priority, and regroup with the rest before Arias has a chance to discover his merchandise has gone missing.

The plan is perfect, what’s there to be worried about?

“Our intel says Arias’ office should be on the top floor. The coordinates are on your watch. Proceed with caution, everyone.” Rebecca calls out into your earpiece. Twisting your elbow, you glimpse at your watch. It blinks with your location in green, and destination in red, two floors above you.

“Copy.” You and Jill acknowledge Rebecca, but Ada ignores, simply hiking forward with her pistol leading the way.

“She must be fun at parties.” Jill snorts, following behind her.

This is the first time Jill talks after splitting up with the boys. And even then, she only ever converses with you, and never to Ada. They have almost nothing in common between them, besides their stubborn attitude that only butts at each other’s heads. If you aren’t around, there will only be an air of dead silence between the duo.

But these two are your friends, and you like them both for different reasons.

You recall a past memory between you. “She’s not usually like this outside of missions. We went to a bar one time, and Ada got me free drinks all night. Poor suckers, she swindled them all.”

“Just the two of you?”

“No, it was an afterparty. Rebecca was there. I think you had to stay back for work that day. Why?”

Your eyes meet Jill in confusion, and they quickly dart away. Jill clears her throat to speak again. “So you and Ada are close, huh?”

“I think so,” Jill’s face hints a bit of disappointment, but she tries to force her lips to upturn into a nonchalant smile. You don’t notice this and continue talking: “But not exactly. She saved me a few times, so I’m grateful for her. But I wouldn’t call us friends.”

“And that’s all?”

You wonder where all of this is coming from. Didn’t take her for the kind who enjoys bars and loud spaces anyway. Spending time with Jill is usually just the two of you watching TV, laughing at the over-the-top reality drama from the comfort of the couch, cuddling up right next to each other like a couple of platonic best friends. Before you can speak, you feel a presence in front of you, standing in your way. You pause quickly at the last minute, almost colliding into the figure. Ada. She only looks at Jill when she’s talking.

“You two lovebirds done? Stay alert.” Ada deadpans with no intention of being friendly and warming. “Don’t hold me down.”

“Take care of your shit and I’ll take care of mine.” There’s bitterness in Jill’s voice, and Ada ignores her because your watch is beeping. The green and red dots overlap each other. You’re here.

You put your game face on. You land yourself on the other side of the wooden door to Arias’ office, while Jill and Ada have their backs against the wall closest to the door knob. Ada signals, counting down from three, and then finally kicks down the door. The three of you rush in, guns aimed forward in order to take down any security patrolling the perimeters.

“Huh?” You raise an eyebrow. You lower your gun when realisation sets in that you are indeed in an empty room.

You recognise this dark wood flooring. It adorns proudly, and even more repetitively, throughout the mansion. This room is no different. The desk, cabinetry and shelves are crafted with the same sinister timber that weighs down Arias’ office. Rows of portraits from Arias’ ancestors stare down at you with hollow beady eyes. A tall window, slightly ajar, to let in the cold nocturne wind. No mould.

This room had been cared for—dusted, cleaned, and prepared. Papers spread across the table, fresh ink, even the nameplate is polished into a shimmer. Arias frequents here, either for work—or for other sorts of shady businesses.

Ada immediately gets to work, and she finds a painting with a secret hinge to the side. It opens into a safe with two rotary dials. The sample is so close now, so close to your reach.

“I’ll check for any other clues that may help us.” Jill declares, and she’s flipping through papers on the desk for any information she can send to Rebecca.

But your eyes are still fixed upon Ada with her back facing you. Not leaving her even for just a second. Ada might have saved you a few times, but the amount of times she betrayed you is far greater. A memory sticks out from a conversation in the saferoom when Leon pulls you aside:

“Be careful. Something is very wrong about this place. I don’t know what it is yet…” His words hold weight and sincerity as he speaks. “And about Ada… I don’t trust her. You shouldn’t too. Don’t make the same mistake as I did.” Then Leon loosens the grasp on your arm, and reluctantly lets go…

You refocus, keeping your eyes peeled on Ada, before noticing how beautiful her hands are. How they pinch the dial with ease and precision, almost gliding as she hears the very faint click inside the clockwork of the safe. Her nails are short, painted dearly with scarlet red polish, palms so silky that they almost glisten lightly under the moonlight. You didn’t know the hands of a mercenary can be so pretty, unlike yours, calloused and scabs healed over.

“Are you done watching me?” Ada is still listening to the safe, but she knows you’re looking.

“Huh? I wasn’t—” Your cheeks redden from being caught.

“You think I’m as dense as that rookie? I see you guys talking. Did Leon tell you to watch over me?” Oh. She must be talking about Leon’s warnings in the safe room.

“It… wasn’t about you.” You hesitate and fiddle with your thumb. You are not a great liar, not by far.

“Just tell me.”

Ada turns around to look at you now, telling of how much she knows you. And it’s definitely well enough to see through your lies like translucent paper. Your words tumble under pressure: “He’s just concerned. Told me to keep an eye out.”

Ada scoffs; she’s turning the dial a bit more aggressively this time. “Of course he did. Predictable. The rookie thinks I’m out to get him every single time.” There’s another sigh of exhaustion.

“Well, isn’t that what you did?”

“That’s besides the point. It’s his fault for getting in my way.” Ada clears her throat. “Rest assured, I’ve been compensated well for this job, so you’re safe.”

“For now. I’m not taking my eyes off you.”

“Didn’t take you for the kind to let others tell you what to do.”

You clamp your lips shut. She’s right, and you know it. Your brain racks within itself for a comeback to defend your integrity, and realising instead: Why are you trying so hard to prove yourself to Ada?

Ada is challenging you for sure. Or entertained by you. You can’t tell the difference with her teasing grin that could be either, or both. Are your eyes fooling you, or does Ada seem more... relaxed? Her demeanour is drastically different from when you were in the saferoom, or when you were speaking to Jill. If you didn't know better, you swear Ada actually enjoys your company, maybe even a little bit more than friends.

The safe beeps, signal flashes green, and the hinge loosens to an open. The two of you peek inside. There’s a gold bar. A stack of paper (letters?) bound by a delicate string. But beyond that, nothing.

You hear rustling in the background. Papers falling to the floor. You turn around to see Jill frozen.

“We got the safe open. Did you find anything?”

Jill’s eyes are far off, fixed upon a particular spot. You look towards the direction of her glance, and beyond the window, it overlooks the mansion’s luxurious home garden, overgrown with weeds and wilt. Behind that, a bench and what appears to be either a figure or the trick of a light. It’s too dark to tell.

“Jill.” Ada repeats, slightly raised eyebrows indicating suspicion. Jill returns from her far off location, and sees the two of you in front of her.

“You okay?” You ask, wanting to put your hand on her shoulder. She shrugs you off.

“I’m fine.” Jill’s fist is holding some paper, and she scrunches it to hide it in her back pocket. “Nothing useful. Just old accounts… and stuff. You know.” Ada is watching. Jill changes the topic fast.

“But look what I've found in the drawers.” Jill removes a box from inside the drawer and opens it. It contains a bunch of oddly shaped devices, attached by a belt or some sort.

“Are those what I think they are...?” You question, not quite sure what to make of it just yet.

“In every colour too.” Ada says. “Seems like a 'hobby' of Arias'.”

“Maybe Arias had been using this toy in this room.” Jill snickers, pulling one of them out by the belt, and the girth of the black shaft is thick and erected.

“Jill, stop playing with it.” Your face looks visually disturbed. “Oh my god, my pure and innocent mind...”

“Don't tell me you've never used one of these before?” Ada is grinning, as if you just asked a silly question.

“And you have?”

“Who hasn't?” Jill laughs too. Meanwhile, you are still standing, a look of confusion in your eyes. They look at you, and look between themselves, a synchronous 'oh' left their mouths at the same time. You are still confused.

“Don't worry about it. So what do you guys got there?”

You pick up the stack, and read aloud the first sheet that is addressed to someone.

Dear Sarah, The world had been too cruel to us, separating us from each other far too suddenly, far too soon. Our lives were only just beginning, and fate had to take you away from me. We should’ve had so much more time. And we will. Don’t worry, Sarah, all of this is only temporary. I took your wedding dress to the dry cleaners and safekept it for your return. I still remember how beautiful you looked in that dress walking down the aisle. Yours forever, Glenn

You bring the sheet back to read the next letter.

Dear Sarah, My research was successful. I did it, Sarah, I DID IT!! I can finally bring you home, my love. Didn’t we always said we wanted a child? You told me underneath the moonlight you want to name our daughter Renee. And now, we can finally have them. We can finally be together. Things are in order to make this happen. Me, you, and Renee, for eternity. I’m so excited I’ve painted Renee’s nursery in your favourite colour, green. So much work to do, I’ll write to you again soon, Sarah. You won’t have to wait any longer. Yours forever, Glenn

“Is this Arias’ wife? What do you mean ‘bringing her back’?” Your whole body shudders at the thought.

“She’s dead. One of the many innocents that died in the wedding.” Jill almost punches the wall. “It should’ve been him.”

“He’s trying to revive her? …And have children with the dead?”

“What kind of fucked up shit is he planning?” Jill is shocked, grossed, disgusted all at once on her face.

Meanwhile, Ada, calm and unreactive as ever, is rummaging through the safe again. “No sign of the sample—” Ada confirms, and she withdraws her hand holding a gold bar to transfer it into her gear’s pocket. “—another dead end.”

“Did you just steal something?” Jill is in disbelief.

“Mind your business.” Ada shoots back a glare at her.

“There’s something really fucked up going on in this mansion, and this is how you act? Have some sympathy for the dead, would ya?”

“It’s been dead for a while. Doesn’t matter what we do or what we say, they can’t hear it. All we can do is focus on the present.”

“Why you—” Jill stops midway, like she accidentally swallowed back her words down the wrong hole. Her head is throbbing, heart racing, body attacking her from all sides within. Her throat is closing up, and for a second, Jill can’t breathe. She falls; collapsing onto the table with a loud thump, barely supporting herself with her elbow. Jill coughs; there’s blood.

“Jill! Are you okay?” You cry out, running to her aid, your arm rounding across Jill’s shoulders. It feels cold. Dry. Like you’re touching the furless coat of a dead animal with no warmth left in them.

“I… nnh, I’m fine.” Her voice is straining, but there’s some breathing at least.

“Don’t be stubborn. The colour on your face is gone.” You dip your hand onto Jill’s forehead. The cold sensation fades, and now it’s warm to the touch again, burning like a fever. You question yourself whether the coldness before was an illusion. Bringing your arms around her, you reach to your earpiece. “I’m calling Rebecca.”

“No. Don’t.” She coughs even harder with her weight leaning against you; she’s turning frailer and frailer by the minute. “I’ll be fine. We need to s-stop Arias.”

That is when you hear a click, cold metallic surface pressing against the fabric of Jill’s back. The safety’s off.

“Ada?” Your voice escapes like a pleading squeal, a forced laugh through hopeful desperation that it’s all a prank, that Ada isn’t going to hurt and betray you, just like all the other times. “…What’s up with you?”

“Jill. Get off. Now.” Ada raises her volume to a stern demand, and this time, you know she’s definitely not joking. Jill ought to do as she says soon, or else both of you may catch the bullet with a press of Ada’s finger.

“Ada—” Your voice shrivels into a pitiful whisper. Betrayal again? After everything?

“Jill’s infected. Face it. Thought it was weird why you’re acting funny. The virus is in your body as we speak.” Ada points her gun at Jill.

“Wha—What’re you talking about?” Jill’s face turns white. She coughs once more, hard. There’s blood all over her hand and on the corner of her lips.

“Ada. We need to take her to the hospital now.”

“Does she look okay to you? I’m not going to save your ass again. So get out when I tell you to.” Ada’s finger is firm on the trigger. Determined.

Jill scoffs. “This again? So you’re working for Wesker? You’re trying to take us out one by one. It’s not gonna work.” With a weak grip, Jill grabs her pistol with her remaining energy to aim right back at Ada. Ada doesn’t shoot. She should’ve, but she can’t.

Ada’s guard is up again. “Believe what you want. If you’d like to die today, be my guest. I won’t hesitate to shoot.” She flicks her wrist, demanding you to move aside. “This is your last chance.”

“Ada, please listen! She wasn’t bit. We were together the entire time. You were there too, Ada! She can’t be infected. She can’t be—” You yell in distress, but your sentence trails off into a mumble.

“The gas. The gas has something to do with it.” Ada says.

“Won’t the two of us be sick too?” You say.

Ada’s eyes glare harshly against the two of you, but you can see her thinking, the cogwheels in her brain processing the facts, and her speculation wavers. There’s pity behind the cold blooded glint. Sympathy. Ada’s pistol lowers—

And that was the mistake that costs their lives. Jill turns, roundhouse kicking the pistol off Ada’s hand in her moment of vulnerability. The gun falls, crashing against the rug far from reach. Ada is already reacting, drawing her TMP out but Jill moves faster. Too steadfast. Too superhuman. She tackles Ada to the ground, hands steady against her neck.

Jill’s gaze is obscured by flames, something blinding and controlling from something within her veins and arteries. Despite looking directly at Ada, she can’t see, nor can she distinguish friend or foe. Her hand tightens around Ada’s windpipe, leaving her grasping for air.

You pull up your rifle in a panic frenzy, unloading your round onto Jill. But she does not flinch, does not even look your way. There’s a dent in her skin where your shots land, but there’s no blood. “Goddamit, what the fuck, Jill! What is wrong with you?”

But Jill can’t hear you. Only the crackle of flame and roar of wildfire burning and reverberating through her head. Echoing twice and thrice over. Ada is grunting soundless moans, still attempting at escape with how she continues to fumble for the TMP on her waist belt. Then, Jill steps on Ada’s hand with sheer force and unnatural strength, crushing the smooth palm with the sole of her feet, twisting it until all the delicate bones become unrecoverable. And all hope was lost again.

Jill sinks her teeth into Ada’s neck, not with much mercy either. There is a sound of flesh torn, a blood crying scream to taint the air. The blood velvet rug paints a deeper red and Jill releases. Ada flops to the floor, paralysed, but not deadly enough for a fatality. Her beautiful skin, once full of vigour and charm, stained red with her own blood, the veins around turning deeper purple thriving like tree roots across the earth.

You look at Jill—and she’s smiling. It’s not the slight curve of her lips you’re used to when you tell her that her haircut is nice. Or the reluctant embarrassed grin she has when you thank her for standing up for you. This was something else.

This was something from hell.

She’s no longer the Jill you know. ‘Jill’ turns around to meet you in the eye. You back away, rifle aiming forwards despite knowing it’s all fruitless. Your hands shudder from within, none of your shots will hit even if you try. But you had no choice. You have to try even if it’s fruitless. Then you aim at Jill directly on the head. It’s harder than it looks, killing your best friend, even if they are a zombie.

It misses and lands on her shoulder instead. There’s a notable grimace on Jill’s face as she flies to catch the bullet from within her shoulder. She flicks the bullet away and her grin spreads widely, and she chuckles a sinister giggle. “That hurts, you know…”

“Jill?” These BOWs aren’t supposed to speak. They should be monsters. This is your first time meeting one of these too, and you did not expect them to be one of your closest friends. You should be careful. If they can speak, do they have the intelligence to manipulate you too?

“What’s wrong, kitty?”

“Fuck you.” You grit your teeth. “I’m not turning into one of you.”

She merely laughs. “Admit it. You think this is hot.”

“Fuck off.” You have Jill’s eyes locked, other hand inching closer and closer to your back pocket, reaching for the radio. But it was no use. A hand—bloodied and broken—grabs you by your wrist, twisting it behind you forcefully. You wince. Ada is right behind you, her eyes looking into yours with the same blank stare Jill has. She’s turned. And so quick too?

“Our darling, can’t seem to stay put? I think it needs punishment.” Ada’s breath is blowing against your neck. You shiver.

“Oh… like what kind?” Jill’s eyebrows are raised and intrigued.

Jill answers the question herself by unsheathing her pocket knife. You swallow hard as she takes each purposeful step towards you, savouring in your fear. Your wrists struggle against Ada’s grip, which she responds by tightening it further that your bones are almost breaking from her touch.

“It’ll hurt more if you resist.” Jill drawls out her words, licking the surface of the knife. She brings her knife forward, laying the flat edge of the knife against your cheek, drawing a little blood at first, then a bit more droplets gather onto the knife. She slurps on it, licking the crimson nectar clean off her knife. “Just relax, kitty. It’s us. Jill and Ada. Your teammates.”

“We won’t hurt you, darling. You can trust us.”

For a moment, through the hazy blink of a spell, you see your friends. Ada, mysterious yet always saving you during trouble. Jill, indifferent yet is always the first to defend you. They’re absolutely right. These are your friends. They mean so much to you, and you’ve just realised that now. You’ll do anything for them.

You let your body relax, your eyes stare into Jill, then Ada, then back at Jill again. She caresses your cheeks in her palm, bringing your face closer to hers with lips that only want to close the distance, and you close your-

Wait! No. Stop this! This isn’t right!

-eyes, before your lips crash together in a series of tingles. Jill deepens the kiss, her tongue prying between the seams of your lips, meeting your own tongue in the middle. You still taste a bit of blood, but that doesn’t deter you from returning the kiss. Jill licks your lips once more before finally parting with a heaved gasp. You slowly open your eyes, before another pair of familiar lips comes colliding back on yours and you’re nudged to close them again. This is Ada’s lips, rounder, thicker, with an unexpected forwardness. She nibbles on your lips, demanding, making room between the gaps of your lips, and kiss you just as passionately as Jill did.

Between kisses, a button pops off. Then another. You help each other out of your fabrics. Earpieces removed, abandoned by the floor. Jill strips off Ada’s dress and bra, and you help Jill out of her skinny jeans. A paper scrunches up from her back pocket. It’s been torn by hand, scribbled a note on lined paper where the words are either smudged or peeled off. Only one word is still faintly visible.

[ WATER ]

What could it mean?

You spend no time to ponder with Jill pulling you back into the present. Your naked torsos flush against each other as the duo fight for another taste of your lips. They catch your breath, one after another, with no intention of letting you out of their sight. Jill brings her hand around you, her fingers are already sending-

I need to get out of here! I need to warn-

-a violent fizz through your body, and Ada helps you fall to your legs onto the velvet rug underneath you. All the whilst your lips are trapped in Jill’s, and so is your body.

“That’s it… Be our good little darling.” Ada slips right behind you, letting your relaxed body lean against her, then running a hand up your torso with the friction of her latex gloves, before settling against your neck in a firm grip.

“We’ll take care of you, kitty.” Jill whispers into your ear, and you can’t hear any malicious intent. Jill and Ada aren’t hurting you, some part of you is very sure about this.

Then you hear something. A faint sound in your mind, a warning, a scream from far away. It’s telling you to run, run so far and fast before it’s too late. “Nnh… I…” It rings in your ear like a constant drum, forcing you for a response. But why? You feel so good right now…

“Stay with us, darling.” Ada coos, moving downwards to kiss along the strip of your neck. She’s gentle, enchanting you in her lovingness. The voice grows fainter, like a distant chatter that fades into the background.

And their hands are all over you, exploring every curve your skin has to offer. The crook of your neck, the gentle folds between your belly, thighs filling out into their palms, plushness against plushness. With how both of their breasts lay against you, it reminds you of a marshmallow cloud, and you’re drifting away into it. Away from the mortal world where only the three of you remain.

Ada runs her hands down your body, her latex glove palming your cunt now, circling it fully and firmly. You feel everything move, your hips rutting to find more friction against your clit. And she retracts her hand, pressing down against your clit as if you hears your demands, holding you and your emotions hostage, before repeating all the motions again.

“Shh… We’ll take care of you, kitty.” Someone says this, you don’t know who. You are much too focused on the pleasure throbbing in your body to notice. Ada moves her head downwards to watch your cunt more closely, pleasant to see you already drenching, soon to succumb to the inflictions of her loving touches.

“Goodness, so wet for me, darling.” Ada rewards herself with a finger down the stripe of your cunt, scooping your juices with the latex and licking her finger clean. Ada is taking her time with you, pecking gentle kisses along the seam. A few times you feel the firm pad of her tongue on you, but she retracts it before you can truly react to it.

Jill is still kissing you; her hands are groping her own breasts to satisfy herself, while you lay limp under the command of the two. You moan back into the kiss, clearly aroused by Ada toying with your body underneath, and she grows increasingly jealous: “Having all the fun without me?” She abruptly parts your lips, and gently lowers your back onto the floor.

“Come on, kitty. Help me come too.” Jill pecks one final kiss on you, which you, too engrossed in the knot in your chest to struggle to even pucker your lips. She rounds her legs over your face, and your face is shaded with the shape of Jill’s cunt. Her arousal glistens in the darkness, seemingly twitch, maybe a bit vulnerable with how your eyes are fixed upon her aching parts.

“Put that tongue to good use, kitty.” Jill drops herself onto your face, fucking herself onto your nose. A moan escapes her lips, and yours too, your grunt muffled underneath the pressure, but she can still feel the vibrations through her cunt. She ruts against you, a signal for ‘more’, and you obey. You stick your tongue in, swirling and springing your tongue to feel Jill’s walls against the flat surface of your tongue.

Jill lifts herself temporarily, just enough for you to breathe and release the groaning mess that is trapped in the back of your throat. She slams herself back down onto you again. Your breath quickens, back arches in; you’re close. So fucking close. Ada isn’t stopping now, her lips are flushed against your cunt, extending her entire tongue inside of you to tonguefuck you until your heavy breathing is inside of Jill’s cunt.

“I.. nnh…fuck…” You cry, a tear gathering in your eye.

“Don’t be shy, kitty. Just let it all out.” Jill looks down at you, grinning, taunting. She drives her cunt deeper onto your face. And with her encouragement, you do. The sensation wells inside of you, stimulated on both end bringing your orgasm to escalate in speeds unimaginable. Your juices start to flow, without warning—you couldn’t control it even if you tried—and all your fluids spills directly onto Ada’s face, catching into her eyes.

“That’s it. Well done, kitty.” Jill praises, smoothing a hand over your hair.

Ada doesn’t wince from your juices in her eye, she doesn’t even feel the pain. Her irises are shifting red from her kind hazel brown. Her skin, paling, wherever she was applying pressure at you, those parts of her turns distinctly blue. And that’s when reality hits you: you don’t know them. But there’s no stopping now. It’s too late. At least you can make your death memorable—enjoyable—by getting fucked inside out.

Jill is feeling it too, her hips shaking, your tongue going into overtime eating her out, until she finally releases. She tries to lift herself off, but it was too late when Jill begins to squirt, her one finger guiding herself on her clit, drenching your face and some of your hair with her fluids. You wipe your face off with your hands, huffing and puffing. Whatever you two had, it was intense. Far more intense than any relationship you had with any other sex.

Ada lands right next to you on the rug. She’s reaching down to circle on her own clit and thrusting her fingers inside of her dripping mess at the same time. God, Ada looks so hot touching herself.

“Please. Ada. I want to taste you too.” You nudge Ada’s fingers out of herself, giving them a lick to clean those pretty, battered fingers off. Even damaged, her manicure is still perfect, and the skin still feels soft to the touch. You roll on top of Ada, exchanging places with Ada’s fingers to bottom her out.

Ada’s cunt is so smooth, cleaned and trimmed, just as put together as the rest of herself. Her hole is wide open, as if taunting you with how much she can take at one time. You hook her legs over your shoulder now, pressing them down closer to her body and reaching over to her swollen nipple to pull against it. When your fingers enter her, it’s like dipping your finger into melted butter. With one finger, it was loose. So you add one more finger, then another, until all four of your fingers are deep in her cunt.

“God, Ada.” You swallow back a heavy drool. “You’re all stretched out.”

“I have higher pain tolerance like this. That’s the best part about being a zombie.”

“Does that mean I can…” You thought four fingers was Ada’s limit, but after wiggling your hand around, you manage to slip the fifth finger inside. Ada lets out a delighted whine, swallowing your entire fist with a quick rut of her hips.

My god, Ada looks so beautiful like this. With how big she’s taking in, you swear that she’s more used to this than she’s letting on. But you don’t get to ponder long, because Jill is right behind you. She’s watching over you, grabbing your cheeks from behind and something is nudging between your thighs.

“I want to try something on you.” There is a belt around her, and a strap bouncing high and proud into the air. “Stick up your butt for me, kitty.”

The idea of getting fucked by Jill excites you very much. You perk them up, despite your eagerness, you don’t want to lose momentum with Ada in front of you, still squirming under your control. You expect your cunt to meet with Jill’s silicone tip, but instead she puts some kind of device inside of you. It vibrates in the lowest setting, only a tingle of sensation in your already aching and throbbing pussy.

“J-Jill?” You let out a low grunt, unsatisfied. The device is so small, you still feel empty even as it vibrates within you.

“Don’t worry, kitty. I’m just gonna write some thing on your body. It won’t hurt, I promise.” She picks up a knife, previously abandoned in the corner. She runs the sharp end of the knife along your ass cheeks, and you wince as Jill drags the knife down until it carves off a letter. ‘J’ on your left cheek, ‘A’ on your right cheek.

“Kitty looks amazing with our initials on it.” Blood is trailing along your butt. Jill lied. It hurts a lot. But the combination of pain on your skin and pleasure of the vibrator takes you to your wits end. Jill makes up for it by consoling the cuts, planting kisses and licking the blood off your cheeks. Then she grasps harshly onto the plush meat, and the pain is back again.

“Kitty…” She coos, fingering out some of your stickiness to lubricate the silicone. It lines up against you, ready for entry. You take in a deep breath, and Jill shoves all of her length in one go. Your body flinches, tongue stopping for a moment to recollect your composure as your internal walls fight to wrap both the vibrator and Jill’s strap at the same time, filling you up so fully.

“That’s it, kitty. Take in both me and the vibrator. Feel so good right now… So good for us.”

But she’s not stopping. Not intending to stop until you come over and over again, until you stain the rug with every bit of your juices. Moans ripple through the room. Each thrust heavy and welcoming to your pussy as you stretch wide to accommodate to this newfound size. You chase your euphoria, as it crash at you wave after wave of limitless pleasure. Jill tips you further into overstimulation, fucking the fluids of your orgasm back inside of you.

But you can’t speak, despite the desire to release your choked out breath, you are determined to make Ada come too. She’s close. You press her legs further down to flex her into a pretzel, her thighs touch her head, and your fist finds its easier to reach her cervix, abusing at her favourite spot over and over again until she’s bound to release her fluids onto your hand.

“You’re mine now…” Jill and Ada speaks almost simultaneously.

And the rest of the night was a blur. You aren’t sure how many times you came tonight, you only feel the aftermath of it. The inside of your walls are sore, penetrated repeatedly by tongue and silicone, and you find your consciousness fading… and fading… until you are gone completely.

A buzz. It rings in your ear like a fly in your sleep. Is this your alarm? No… Did you not leave for Arias’ mansion? How long ago was that? Why are you asleep? And where’s Jill and Ada?

You are alone. The portraits watching your naked body as you lie—criticising you? You hear the windows clacking against the hinges, night air whining inside and all over your bareness. But you don’t feel cold. Your body hasn’t felt anything in a while. Joints weakened everywhere and your lips feel like something dried over.

You hear the buzz again. This time much closer. There’s static. It’s saying something.

“Ji- Ad-”

You move your limbs, cumbersome from the soreness of your muscles, to reach to the sound underneath your clothes. An earpiece. You fumble it on.

“Jill! Ada! Are you guys there? Come on, why won’t this damn thing work?”

It’s Rebecca. You know this girl. From somewhere. It’s getting harder to think.

“Reb—” You try to talk, but it escapes like the low grumble of a zombie. You don’t have much time left.

“Finally! Thank god it’s you! Are you guys safe?”

“Water... It’s the water… The water’s infected…” You muster whatever bit of strength left to talk.

“Hello?? Shit. I can’t hear you… What did you say about the water?”

Your eyes feel heavy. It sinks without intention. All that remains is a fragile pulse at the hearth of your body. Not enough for you to move or think. Darkness envelops you, and there is silence once again in Arias’ office.

Then, a man steps into the room.

thanks for reading! come check out my other works. —yours truly, rose. kissing @scar-crossedlvrs and @obsolescent for beta reading this!!!! tags: @j3llyd0nut @ovaryacted @daydreamrot @madcap-riflette @access--granted @obsolescent @briermelli @secretiveauthor @ghosty-frog @navstuffs @slowcryinginthedark @rentaldarling @lesbntired @redvleanli @vinsiliors @whoisgami @gaylorvader @wxwieeee @eddsthemunson © roseglazedlens — please do not repost, plagiarise, or feed to ai.

#꒰✒️ rose fics ♡.꒱ #jill valentine x reader #ada wong x reader #jill valentine #ada wong #leon kennedy #resident evil x reader #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil x you #resident evil smut #kinktober 2023 #resident evil fanfic #resident evil vendetta #glenn ariasres #jill valentine x you #ada wong x you #smut #resident evil x y/n #resident evil

[nouearth]

autumn reminders.

bruce wayne x male reader.

summary: in the start of autumn, you surprise bruce with lunch because he hasn't been taking care of himself.

wc: 1.3k. warnings: fluff, kinda angst(?), comfort! fic, established relationship, mentions of food, bruce is overworked, he's also horny, worried!reader, touchy!bruce, husband!bruce.

a/n: a short little one-shot because i miss writing for bruce! and autumn is finally here, so i can finally wear my sweaters!! idk, i feel bad for not updating as much, and i also didn't want to only update with smut, lol. but i hope you guys enjoy it! <3 maybe i'll write something about pumpkin spice coffee soon!

the building absorbed the heavy clacks of your suede oxfords as you ambled along the halls. tall windows lined by your side, illuminating you in the afternoon with every step, and occasionally, you’d pause to snap a photo at the autumn vista. it was approaching quick: the cooler weather, the stronger gales, and the changing leaves. while you loved the season most for bringing out your sweaters and coats—most importantly, the autumn season brought in curated festivals, decoration, and your favorite: the autumn menu.

“oh—mister wayne, do you need help with that?” an employee was quick to turn on his heel as you passed by him, but he caught in in four steps, wide-eyed when you turned at the sound of his voice.

“no, it’s all right! figured this would be my punishment for skipping out arm-day!” though you struggled maintaining the weight of several paper bags in your arms and two coffee cups, a smile of assurance and a thumbs up, barely visible in between the grasp of the cup and the height of the bags, reluctantly sent the employee on his way to his duties.

the smile on your face was radiant, much more than a few seconds ago. it’s been almost a year, but it hasn’t gotten old yet—being called mister wayne.

it only took a few more minutes, a fresh bruise to the elbow when you bumped into a wall, and then a scare when you almost dropped your coffee before you were at bruce’s door. before you could put the bags and cups down to open it, it flew open with a confident swing and you jolted from the gentle ambush, hugging the paper bags closer to your body to still the weight.

“why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” the ache in your arms was immediately relieved once you stepped inside bruce’s office, the latter taking a bag for himself and setting it on his coffee table after locking the door closed.

“were you watching the security cameras again?” you followed, setting the other bag next to it, as well as the two coffee cups before then stretching your arms above your head, a pleasurable groan kicking a strum from your throat.

“well, yes—wanted to see if you could make it up here without getting lost.” bruce chuckled, reaching out to firmly squeeze your tense shoulders twice. “but the secretary also told me you were heading up.” you groaned again, at the confession and the aggressive touch, playfully flicking his hands away while you were bent over to disperse the takeout from the paper bags. but bruce persisted with a firmer grasp, massaging your shoulders when he lined behind your figure. 

“you’re kidding! she promised me she wouldn’t!“ the rigid touch of bruce’s hands eventually wandered off into gentle squeezes to your sides, waist, and bottom. your chest rose for a deep inhale, glancing at the locked door as you stood straight again, and then deflated, exhaling, when a single hand found its home on your stomach, warm and heavy on the layers of clothing, only to escape when it took slow dive to the compress of your belt, nudging the sturdy leather with his fingertips.

there was a sudden weight on your left shoulder. he hooked his chin over the narrow muscle to peek over at his hands fiddling with the leather strap, kissing your neck in midst of the fidgeting. “shouldn’t have bought you this—it was easier when you had that cheaper belt.”

“I knew you’d come around to the idea of second-hand clothing!” the surge of veins in your neck as you laughed vibrated against his lips, and bruce joined you in quiet chuckles, his arms holding you tight when he finally unbuckled your belt.

there was a satisfied sound from bruce, sinking into your skin as he continued on kissing your neck, when he removed your belt, and as much as you wanted your husband right now, the ache down south aiding this frustration as it demanded you to ignore the smell of the cooling takeout, your stomach grumbled when the aroma of the sandwiches was resolute and stung your nostrils. the smell of deli meat unfurled in the air to claim its next victim, and the sound of bruce’s stomach groused after.

“lunch first.” you rolled your head back into his shoulders, matching his doting gaze with a smile as you admired his looks for the nth time since you’ve met him. “year is ending soon, so i know you have a lot of late meetings to attend to.”

bruce’s slicked-back hair revealed more of the fine wrinkles on his forehead and emphasized the sharpness of his features. you were embarrassed to admit that upon first meeting him, you were too intimidated by his presence to revel in his beauty like everyone else did. even when you’ve gotten to know him, it had always been his story that had stoned you by his side.

“i know, i’m sorry. I’ll try to come home early, but i can’t promise that.”

now that you’ve read every chapter of his life up to this point, you could finally take the time to appreciate how handsome he was. beyond surface level features, you could allude every small detail on his face to the novel of bruce wayne, down to every page, because you were a part of his life now. your hand cupped his cheek as your thumb laved over his eye-bags, tender in its warm stride. bruce hummed, leaning into your palm and watching you silently as seconds went by.

“don’t apologize! i’ll visit you when you have time, yeah? don’t overwork yourself too. alfred’s been nagging at me to bring you meals, so consider this part of your daily routine now! and you’ve been skipping out on dinner because of—”

it was like he knew what you were about to say, about his double-life as a vigilante. your gaze grew concerning. he had noted how your brows knitted together when you were reluctant to say something, when something had been bothering you. 

when the words caught in your throat, bruce seized the opportunity to kiss your worries away instead. it made him feel better—knew it made you feel better—even if it was temporarily, and he pressed harder into your lips, kissing every corner of flesh until his own worries regarding your safety had briefly perished.

bruce was never good with his words.

he pulled away with a delighted sigh, leaning his forehead onto yours once he turned you back around, and his palms immediately found themselves warming your flushed cheeks. "i'll be okay."

but he was willing to try, for you.

"i have no doubts about that. i just need you to be extra, extra okay." the image of a bloodied bruce months ago still haunted you in your wake, but it only took a gentle press of bruce's palms to reel you back into the haven of his arms.

bruce laughed, and upon noticing that it only raised another level of fret within you, a deeper ribbon threading your eyebrows closer, he pressed the tip of his nose to yours like he did the very first time he held you, and kissed your lips again.

"i'll be extra, extra, extra okay." he assured with your tired murmurs, and you sighed into them as if they were a lullaby, sinking into his arms completely.

your lips danced with his in a slow and calming waltz, and you shuddered when the breeze from the acceleration of your pulse surged though your chest. bruce held you closer to his body, pressing the swell of your heart to his own and puzzling every individual beat until they fused as one, pulsated into one another.

“so, sandwiches, huh? does alfred know that i’m eating terrible? something that isn't from his own hands?"

“not if you tell him, asshole.”

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like! feedback is also much appreciated!

#✰ : nou.fics #✰ : nou.dc #bruce wayne #✰ : nou.brucewayne #bruce wayne x male reader #bruce wayne fic #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x m!reader #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne angst #bruce wayne fanfiction #batman #batman x male reader #batman x m!reader #batman x you #batman x reader #batman x y/n #x reader #x male reader #x you #x y/n #y/n #male reader #dc x reader #dc comics fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc x male reader #dc imagine

[sammiesallow]

Sebastian Sallow headcanons

summary- dating headcanons with Sebastian. a/n- all my personal opinion! cw's- mentions of violence/blood, use of crucio, angry Sebastian

the jealous type. we all know this.

he gets so jealous when you spend time with Garreth, but then you reassure him it's ok :)

"I could never replace you with anyone else seb, you're my pretty boy"

melts at that btw.

nicknames galore!! he wants to call you everything and he expects it back from you too

'angel, darling, honey, sweetheart, pretty boy.

"you think I'm pretty? really?" "of course I do, Seb."

he gives you the most blinding smile you have ever seen. absolutely adorable

y'all are so loving?? he is definitely a lover of pda, doesn't mind holding hands, a hand on the thigh(not in an intimate way, just for some physical touch :D), a kiss on the cheek, etc.

Sebastian is always touch-starved and craves attention from you. even a look in his direction or a "Hi Darling!" as you're passing him in the hallway will have him smiling like an idiot for the rest of the day

more intimate moments are shared in private, however, like in the undercroft.

Merlin knows those paintings, gargoyles, suits of armor, even the floo flames lady will eavesdrop on y'all and tattletale to a professor if you do anything more than share a kiss on the cheek.

Sebastian loves you with all his heart. he couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt or worse

every time you leave the castle, please send him an owl. it lets him know where you're going and it tells him you're safe.

he's worried sick if you come back with even the slightest scratch.

"Merlin's beard! darling, are you alright? are you hurt anywhere? do you want me to kiss it better???" he says as you come into the undercroft with one scratch on your face LOLL

it's all fun and games until someone hurts you. let's say you're on a quest together, somewhere in a cave and you two get ambushed. it would probably go like this:

"Diffindo!" an Ashwinder threw out the spell in your direction, hitting your abdomen and leaving a large gash in its wake. Sebastian yelped, not having noticed your state, and threw a quick "arresto momentum!" in the enemy's way to stall their time. "merlin! are you alright-" Sebastian stopped all movement when he saw you- you were hunched over in pain, groaning as you tried to stop the bleeding coming from the gash on your side. At that moment, he felt nothing but pure and unbridled rage. "you BASTARD!" Sebastian turned to the Ashwinder, (who was quite literally about to cast Avada kedavra on him) and cast crucio. nobody touches his girlfriend.

that's definitely one of his red flags.. he has anger issues, and won't hesitate to hurt someone if they hurt you. it's kinda endearing though

speaking of red flags- I'm not gonna ignore them? we all love him but he does have negative traits that will show through in y'alls relationship.

He's overly possessive and gets super upset when another boy tries to flirt with you. if you don't say something to the guy- sebastian will; and i dont think you want that.

he's not very in-touch with his emotions. he has a hard time expressing his feelings because of a) his insecurities and b) his ego.

but on a more positive note, you help him through these things!

meeting ominis and becoming friends with him gave you the opportunity to ask another person about sebastians troubles, and you can confide in him for advice when you need it!

you're sebastian's sunshine- quite literally. you help him through his tough times, and on a regular day, you brighten his mood imensely.

ON TO THE CUTER RELATIONSHIP STUFF!!!

HE WANTS TO CUDDLE YOU.

if he's tired he becomes 100% more affectionate- which means cuddles in the undercroft, his head on your shoulder in class, a hand on your under the table at dinner, etc.

Sebastian isn't the brightest, but if he has a class with you, he'll listen to anything you have to say.

he adores your smarts- whether or not you're actually smart is up to you, but it's not like he'll care. you could be the dumbest mf in the world and he'll still be proud of you!

he's your cheerleader! in crossed wands, the broom race against imelda, summoner's court, even an arm wrestling contest, he's there to cheer you on

it's because he never had someone to do that for him- losing his parents at such a young age, he didnt have cheerleaders to be proud of him through his achievments, so he does it for you!

in return, you take him on cute little dates!

little picnics in the vivarium are his favorite. he loves the feeling of laying of the grass and cloudgazing with you.

you know he needs to relax- so it becomes a regular thing for you two to sneak off to the room of requirement.

the undercroft is still a regular hang-out, usually used for absolute tomfoolery.

i mean, you sebastian and ominis will have stupid competitions all the time.

"let's see who can cast confringo the farthest!!" "Sebastian no!!" "Sebastian yes!"

chaos trio.

more importantly, chaos duo.

you enable his stupid ideas and make sure that he does them safely.

unless it's something stupidly unsafe- then you'll have to lure him back to the undercroft with cuddles and kisses. <3

A/N- MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!! pls send me ideas!! :)

#sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy x you #sebastian sallow x mc

[isaactheterrible]

141 Surprise Birthday Party

[Essentially four short stories of throwing a surprise birthday party for each of the 141 members (Ghost, Price, Soap And Gaz) Pure fluff]

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Ghost is a pretty private person and with both you and Soap constantly up his ass (sometimes less than figuratively) he made an extra effort to prevent either of you from learning his birthday. The thing with having a difficult childhood is that you also get a lot of difficult memories and Ghost's birthdays weren't an exception.

While most times his father would forget about it and he could have a quiet celebration in peace with his brother and mother, on the rare occasion that his father did remember it he'd take him out to clubs or concerts before promptly forgetting about him again other than the occasional prank would terrify him.

This lead Ghost to dreading his birthdays and trying to be secretive about them. Unfortunately for Ghost you and Soap were organized, ruthless and dedicated to the cause, so after weeks of perfect paperwork, chores and once actually getting on your knees and just straight up begging Price for the information he finally relented and told you and Soap Ghost's birthdate.

He felt kinda bad for giving out Ghost like this but hey, maybe a little fun could be good for him. After finding out that the date was closer than either of you thought, and making Ghost's entire astrology chart with Gaz of course, you and Soap got to work.

Sneaking around with birthday decorations, making up white lies on the spot when asked leading questions and of course, coordinating matching birthday outfits, the plan was slowly coming together. It was hard, hiding things from your lieutenant but God Damn It! You were professionals! You even got Rudy to bake a birthday cake for you no matter how hesitant he was to join your scheme!

At the date of the party Ghost was... Less than obvious. He knew the two of you were up to something but he just couldn't figure out what no matter how much stalking and eavesdropping he did! It had him worried to be honest but if your barely suppressed giggles were a sigh of anything other than stupidity at it's simplest form, at least it wasn't anything too serious or dangerous.

After recognizing that maybe luring your lieutenant at a discreet location and then screaming things at his face might give him an anxiety attack you decided to ditch the traditional surprise party recipe and ambush him gently in a familiar, comforting location instead.

Using his strict routine to your advantage, you set up shop overnight at the cafeteria he went to everyday, that way if he wasn't into the whole party thing he could easily exit the area, you didn't wanna be too pushy about it. Ghost, rather predictably, entered the cafeteria at his usual time. You didn't scream happy birthday at his face, not at 7:30am in the morning. Instead you'd decorated the place and had gathered everyone to be there for him.

He was a little confused at first on why everyone was sitting there smiling at him but after he got his coffee and sat down in his usual seat, still too groggy and confused to figure out what the fuck was happening, you and Soap sat down next to him on either of his sides as Gaz brought out the birthday cake, placing it in front of Simon.

You all started singing happy birthday to him. Simon smiled, he didn't really know why, he hated his birthday and hated celebrating it but this one felt... Different, warmer. He looked down at the candles, watching the small dancing flames, you'd gotten his age wrong but it didn't matter. He was there surrounded by the people he loved and his favorite coffee.

You cared about him, he realized, you really did and you all went out of your way and through all this trouble just to make this for him. It made him a tad emotional as much as he'd hate to admit it. He looked at the smiling, laughing faces of his friends and felt calm, tranquil even, he guessed that after all these years he'd finally have a "Happy Birthday".

John "Bravo Six" Price

Price is not much of a family man, sure he has nieces and nephews that he loves to pieces but he hasn't yet met a person that he can start a family with. It was something that brought out a deep sadness in him. The closest thing he had to a family was the 141 but he wasn't quite sure if he could truly call them his own.

Price's birthdate wasn't some kind of secret. Sure, he didn't exactly advertise the information but he'd say if someone asked. He was secretly hoping one of you would ask to celebrate with him, he wasn't exactly looking forward to spending the day alone on his couch, in his underwear, drinking wine and watching football, maybe getting calls from his extended family if he's lucky but since none of you said anything he'd supposed he'd have to make due.

In reality you, Gaz, Soap and he'll even Ghost had been planning something special for a while and had been looking forward to the day with glee. But still, you wanted to surprise him, so the four of you decided to keep quiet.

You were saving up money communally, well mainly Ghost but the rest of you pitched in too! You made a reservation at Price's favorite restaurant and after some talk with the owners, who happened to know Price quite well they even agreed to let you guys rent out the place for the night.

You felt kinda guilty sneaking around your captain's back like this, but it was for a good cause! You did have some trouble with the birthday cake after the third... Okay eight butchered attempts at making one you and Soap simply gave up and begged his mom to bake one instead. She chastised the shit out of you, but it was worth it in the end.

Gaz was to be the bait, pretending to be really bumped out about something. It was no secret Price had a soft spot for him and if he felt that his precious sergeant was in trouble that would worry him enough to overlook the "coincidental" timing.

Finally the day came. You all holed up in the restaurant while Gaz went to lure him out. Price willed himself out of the couch, he was more than a little drunk but his sergeant sounded worried, he sluggishly put on some clothes and got ready, almost forgetting his keys in the process and took a taxi to the park (We don't drink and drive in this household, no sirs)

Walking over to a suspiciously well-put-together Gaz and reluctantly allowing himself to be lured away, more focused on what upset Gaz and why exactly he was so hesitant to tell him. Eventually the two made their way in front of a familiar building: "Actually Cap, there's a special reason I brought you here tonight."

Gaz smiled proudly throwing the doors open with both arms, the entire group leapt out from their hiding place: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAP!" Everyone yelled out in unison. If John was a little more drunk, he would've cried. He walked into the restaurant. Only to be immediately overwhelmed by an array of hugs and "happy birthday"s.

He sat down, ordering his favorite steak, surrounded by his loved ones. He blew out his candles, all 38 of them, although being a smoker it was no easy tax. As he looked around at all of you, who'd not only remembered him but went out of your way to plan all this for him he realized with full confidence for the very first time that yes, he can call you his, YOU'RE his family and nothing could change that.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Gaz was pretty sure you'd all remember his birthday, you better have! Still, that didn't stop him from continuously sending hints like a month in advance, he didn't want to doubt you but with Soap's chronic ADHD he didn't really wanna take any chances either.

You had caught on to what he was doing and laughed at it a bit knowing there was no way in hell any of you were going to forget about his birthday. Price honestly played favorites sometimes so that was a given, Soap would never not plan a secret (usually destructive) surprise on his best buds birthday, you were about as excited as Gaz was and literally nothing ever escaped Ghost so what was Kyle worried about exactly?

In all fairness your plans weren't exactly... Coming together perfectly. The club you wanted to go to, a club Kyle had been begging to go to for a few years now, was pretty V.I.P. and your pleas with the owners fell on dear ears. It wasn't like you were trying to rent out the place for God's sake

Like Jesus couldn't they let like 5 more people in for one night? God they were so snobbish to anyone who wasn't in their tax bracket! So when you got the message that you and your friends would be allowed in you were very surprised.

You and Soap broke the news to Ghost and Price beaming with glee, Price seemed surprised and excited, Ghost... Not so much. And the bastard wouldn't even tell you what he did! No matter how much you kept asking! Maybe it was for the best, after one of the owners mocked Soap's accent so cruelly you knew that Ghost had a bone to pick and you weren't in the business of trying to stop him.

The day came and you told Gaz to dress to impress, there was little point in trying to surprise him to be honest. He knew what day it was so anyway you might try to lure him would only confirm his suspicions, still there was no way he knew where exactly you were taking him.

You kept him busy with some friendly teasing while you took the Uber there so when he got out of the car and saw the club right in front of him, Price waited for him at the door and Gaz basically screamed with glee when he saw him.

The entire night he wouldn't stop smiling, dancing and asking you mad lads how you pulled it off. Hell, he even got to flirt a bit with some of the regulars before being turned off by how flirty rich and snobbish they were acting, choosing to simply enjoy the night with his friends instead.

The party was a blast and although the drinks were expensive you felt relieved knowing Price would cover the tab. You hadn't exactly brought him a wedding cake, the club wouldn't allow it lest you drop chocolate cake on their marble floors or some shit, but you had one back on base on the fridge! (You poor fools, you had no idea Horangi ate it).

Not that Gaz even noticed, he was having too much fun spending the night drinking and dancing and talking with his friends. Ghost, the designated driver, had to carry your drunk asses back to base by the end of the night, not that it was hard for him being a mountain of a man, but still.

Gaz had to write that birthday down as the best one yet. To this day he's still asking you how you pulled it off but you won't tell him, well can't really. You don't actually know, it seems Ghost is taking it to his grave, that one.

The only one who had a bad night was Horangi, if the stomach ache wasn't enough, the chastization from König and Price certainly was, blamed it on his poor impulse control.

John "Soap" MacTavish

Soap's birthday was coming up and no matter how much he wanted to stay with you in the end of the day he had to spend the day with his family back in Scotland. Don't get him wrong, it's not that he didn't love his family, he was excited to spend the day with them and see them again but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel a little left out, he'd spent so much time and had so many fun experiences planning the other's parties with you that he felt a little bittersweet going back to Scotland to be with his family.

Still he held his head up high and got on that plane, he'd missed his cousins, siblings, nephews, nieces and his mom. Also excited to eat a proper meal again, don't forget he had to live with British people for longer than any proper Scot ought to.

Packing his bags and making his way back home, he was immediately greeted by his family and after the pleasantries and small talk he dropped, exhausted on his bed. His birthday was tomorrow and his entire family was busy decorating the house and making preparations. He scrolled mindlessly through his phone a bit before getting to bed.

Meanwhile you and the rest of the 141 were in a plane, straight to Scotland! You'd gotten his family's permission of course, you weren't about to crash a family party uninvited. Besides, his family was very excited to finally meet you guys they didn't take much convincing at all! Especially with Gaz leading the introduction, he's quite the charmer and moms love him so he was the natural choice.

Apparently, Soap talks about you quite a lot, maybe a little too much if Ghost had any say in it, but you found it flattering. After you made your way back to the sweet, sweet earth after a flight so turbulent it can only rightfully be refered to as your pilots "Murder-Suicide attempt" if Price was to be believed (You'd think that being in a helicopter before would build some amount of trust in pilots but apparently not) you guys finally arrived at Soap's birthday party.

Soap woke up that morning by his stupid, annoying brother's insistent shaking, God! Couldn't he catch a break? "John! Wake up! Your friends are here!" Okay. Now Soap was confused. "WHOT?" He quickly threw some clothes together that he had lying around and went to the living room. Swimming through a sea of people made up from close family, distant relatives, neighbors and childhood friends he eventually spotted Price on the couch, chatting up his damn aunt!

He dragged Price away and looked around, noticing the rest of you talking to his family. Ghost in particular was receiving a lot of attention of course, being a tall masked man with a British accent meant he didn't fit in exactly. The poor asocial man who was so averse to being in the spotlight was clearly not prepared for the MacTavishs. Swopping in to rescue him, he took Ghost aside and then spent the next 20 minutes interrogating him on what the hell you were all doing here. After explaining to Soap their little "scheme" which Price insisted you not refer to as a scheme, Soap eventually let the man go.

After the initial nervousness of having his two words collide he noticed how well you all seemed to get along. Soap felt... Relaxed. Like he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. He never admitted it to himself but internally he'd always been worried that maybe if the 141 and his family ever met they wouldn't get along. He hated the idea of the people he loved the most hating each other. But now?

He was proven wrong, you were all getting along so well and he was so happy to be surrounded by the people he loved, not as two separate groups but as one big happy community. Best. Birthday Gift. Ever.

#cod x you #cod x male reader #cod x reader #cod mwii #ghost cod #simon ghost x reader #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley #john price #kyle gaz garrick #cod gaz #cod mw2 #cod ghost #soap cod #cod x gn!reader #cod x y/n #cod x female reader #cod soap #cod simon ghost riley #cod simon riley #cod price #call of duty x male reader #call of duty x you #call of duty x reader #call of duty simon riley #cod headcanons #cod hcs #cod john price

[mehidktbh]

Worries And Kisses

Pairing: Alejandro Vargas x Fem!Reader

Summary: Alejandro comes home to you after a long mission only to be ambushed with your worries and kisses.

Warning: War, minor injuries, kissing, crying, established relationship, suggestive kinda stuff..., Alejandro is a bit horny ngl, a bit of angst but not really? Its mostly all good

A/N: I cannot believe how underrated Alejandro is... like on God I know that man is packing under those jeans and I'm willing to take it all 😩 (Italic font is flashback/memory)

(Sorry if I got any Spanish translations wrong, I'm not fluent in the language and I don't speak it so please lmk if google translate did me wrong)

You lost count of when the last time you've seen your husband, his absence was strong around you. Without his touch or sexy voice the house fell into a deafening silence with no one to fulfil that space, no pet or child only your mind to cope while he was gone. The last time you spoke to him was three weeks ago, his voice still repeating in your head as you try to fulfil your time day to day with chores. Cooking was too hard, sometimes you imagine his hands around your waist and his husky voice tickling your neck only it was your hands hugging yourself into your crying state.

Alejandro was the only one who could make you feel the way you do, waking up beside him was a blessing, his protective hold on you was warm and comforting. His morning voice was croaky and dark, mumbling sweet nothings while he pressed a bunch of kisses into your bare neck as you tried to plead against him. But now your mornings were spent struggling to wake up, taking in the empty space beside you as you tried to take up as much space as possible. Filling up with that your husband used to lay.

Not even showering felt normal, and instead, you only stand in one place while you slowly wash your hair missing your time in the shower with your husband.

"Stop Alejandro" You laughed, trying to use his full name to sound angry but he couldn't take you seriously as he had just sprayed a bunch of soap all over your body. Bubbles sticking and sliding down your thighs and stomach as he couldn't help but silently laugh. "lo siento mi amor" He said breathlessly but you just gave him a blank stare, stepping back before he trapped you between the shower walls. The crystal-clear water drops hit his muscular back as they rolled down, he had a shit-eating grin on his face as he began to kiss your shoulder blades. Innocently and slowly going lower as you tried to push him away, his strong embrace was too hard and you suddenly felt his lips wrap around your nipple.

♡ ♡ ♡

You had just got changed into some working clothes as you were hopefully going to have the chance to go out and about, your shared room was already clean and the rest of the house was too. A chemical smell lightened the air, lingering above the candles that you lit previously. You were about to step out of your bedroom door when you heard a loud sound, an echoing slam from down the hall, which instantly alerted you. Normally Alejandro would warn you from time and time again about feeling worried that someone would find you eventually through him but you never thought out of all days it would be this one.

Your eyes were now only poking through the little gap of the semi-closed door, your heart thumping out of your chest loud enough to alert the stranger. Your hot breath came out unsteadily and scared, your hands balled into a fist as if you thought you could protect yourself only knowing some of Alejandro's tactics.

The sound of thick boots got louder, thumping up the hallway until you realised that they were just down a few doors, they stopped at some doors to push them open and moved on once they saw no one was inside. The footsteps marched closer, getting quicker as if they knew you were in this room, you began to panic harder like the air was sucked out of your lungs as you looked around the room. The clean smooth bed had the sheets tucked in and you didn't want to run into the closet because there was too much stuff in there for you to fit. And just when you were about to run into the bathroom connected to the room the door was slammed open, the door nearly hitting the wall with a thud if it wasn't stopped by the stopper.

A heavier, taller man stood by the threshold, his arms by his side as you squinted hard trying to identify him through the golden crisp sun, the window was open and you could barely see. Only when he softly called for you through his tired tone did you break down, tears swirled in the corner of your eyes as you gave in.

♡ ♡ ♡

The day was filled with crying and worries, your shaky voice checked over Alejandro as he tried to calm you down, shushing you and repeatedly telling you he was fine. His gruff and silent voice soothed you through your tears but still, he couldn't stop your sniffing and worry ness. The way you lightly planted kisses on his forehead and nose, your soft plump lips pressed what could only be described as heaven as he melted in your hold.

He didn't say a lot besides reassuring you that he wasn't hurt or that he only had little scratches, and instead, he let you talk. Hearing you when you described how much you missed him and how you thought he was dead only made him sink into sympathy.

His fingers held you close, dancing along your damp skin, feeling the goosebumps run up and down your silky skin, the little waterdrops collected in his hand but not as much as his shirt which was soaked in your tears. The wetness sank through the material and marked it a darker colour. Your head was buried just below his neck as your arms were wrapped tight around his back, squeezing him tighter every time you sniffed or were on the verge of crying all over again.

But while this was all sad to Alejandro, seeing you in tears and at his chest pledging he wouldn't leave again he could only promise you he won't. Even though he knows he'll be hearing from the military in some weeks and soon enough this will come again he can only cheer you up from your distressed state. "No hay necesidad de llorar, amor." He spoke softly, "I'm here for you." His reassuring was nice to hear after not looking into his eyes since he came through the door and once your red puffy eyes met his. He smiled, flashing you a gigantic charming smile, laughing a bit when you returned it.

♡ ♡ ♡

You could only remember the sun going down, a yellow-orange blend came down to light up the house, the windows were closed but you could feel the cool breeze brush up against you. Or maybe it was the breath of Alejandro who was right behind you, his veiny arms resting upon your hips where they rub circles.

"Why don't you sit down, be done soon" You soothed over your husband, wiggling your hips a bit so he got the signal but instead he gripped tighter. His head coming down to lean on your shoulder blade as his crouch rubs up against your butt, he seemed to sigh dramatically before talking. "Por qué debería, querido" He smirked, teasing you only to see you roll your eyes, a silent laugh reputing from your chest.

"You'll miss dinner." A fake pout couldn't get through Alejandro as he gripped you tighter, whispering close to your ear. "¿Por qué no te como para la cena?"

#alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas x you #alejandro x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro #alejandro vargas mw2 #mw2 fanfic #mw2 x reader

[xxavengingangelxx]

At Ease

Summary: A one-shot of reader and Graves seeking comfort after an ambush by Konni.

@bellgraves I hope this is something like you were looking for when your gave me that idea/request in December :)

Wsrnings: SMUT, NSFW, MDNI! I cant believe i forgot to add this wanring!

-

Your ears were ringing and the tears in your eyes were making your vision blurred. Your other senses were barely working. You thought someone was trying to talk to you but your brain wasn’t working either.

The adrenaline from the firefight between Shadow Company and Konni was still affecting you so when someone put their hand on your shoulder you almost jumped high enough to hit the ceiling.

“At ease, soldier,”

When your voice picked up on the fact your commander was talking to you, you snapped out of your reverie. Your senses were still dulled, especially your hearing, but your put that up to all the gunfire and explosions from the firefight.

“Sit down,”

“M’fine,” you stuttered.

“Have a seat,” Graves’s hands led you to have a seat on the bed.

You tried to keep telling yourself that your were safe at a Shadow Company black site with your commander keeping you company in the same room.

“What happened?”

“Ambush,” came your one-word reply.

Your senses tuned your world out again until you felt something cool and wet on your face. You jumped and Graves pulled away, holding a white, damp washcloth that was now stained red with blood.

“Is it mine?” you whispered.

“Don’t think so, just calm down,” Graves commented.

The cool washcloth was starting to feel good after initially feeling shockingly cold. So you leaned into it. You’d figured out that that blood indeed wasn’t yours. Apparently it had belonged to either a Shadow killed or injured or a Konni soldier killed or injured. Maybe both.

So the next time Graves brought up the washcloth you placed your hand over his. You looked up to meet his gaze for the first time. His eyes were…watery.

And for the first time since the ambush, your mind stopped focusing on you and started worrying about your commander.

“We lost some good men,” Graves commented, his voice almost breaking.

You didn’t know what to say. Graves’s men were likely family to him. There was a picture of Graves and all his men together in a group with Graves grinning in the middle. That picture was everywhere. Graves said he kept that picture in his office, in his work vehicle, his personal vehicle, and at home even.

So you scooted forward from your position on the bed and hugged him. It was hard with both of you still wearing vests and field gear but you managed to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

You then said, “We lost some. But Konni lost more,”

Graves broke off the hug and placed his hands under your arms before pulling you closer. He was also sitting on the bed now and in order to make yourself comfortable you had to wrap your legs around his waist as he hugged you again.

And then you did something that maybe you shouldn’t have done. But something deep inside you was almost screaming at you to. You kissed your commander. On the lips. Just a light kiss.

When you pulled back you met Graves’s gaze. You couldn’t read it.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve—”

Your voice was cut off when Graves kissed you back. His lips crashed onto yours. And when you parted your lips slightly his tongue swept your mouth possessively.

You hands worked their way into his soft yet tangled blonde hair. Your legs closed around his waist and you could feel his hardening length, even through your uniforms.

Graves pulled at your vest until the Velcro ripped. He pushed it off your shoulders and onto the floor beside the bed. So you did the same to him. Or tried to. He shoved you, kinda hard, and forced you onto your back on the bed. He finished taking his vest of himself before climbing over you, knees on either side of your hips, effectively trapping you beneath him.

You arched your hips into him and your could feel he was hard. The motion made him groan.

He disarmed you first with quick, slightly trembling fingers. Your sidearm was dropped next to the bed and it made a thud.

“Say it again,” you commander growled against your lips as he lazily thrusted against your, making you gasp and moan.

“Wh—what?”

Your shirt met its demise next, leaving you in a tank top before it too was tossed on the ground. Your bra was unclasped in the blink of an eye.

Graves lowered his face into your chest, licking, and sucking and your breasts.

“Say what?” you whined in between gasps.

It suddenly clicked in your lust-riddled brain. The phrase that had probably triggered this whole endeavor. “We slaughtered more Konni than we lost,”

Graves’s hasty hands unbuckled your belt. He then pushed his own uniform shirt off his shoulders before yanking your pants off and pushing them off the bed with his still-booted feet.

He then produced a knife.

And used it to cut off your flimsy underwear. The knife then cluttered to the floor.

Graves shifted his weight and you now had your legs wrapped around him. He kissed you again, biting your bottom lip harshly enough that you wondered if he drew blood. His lips trailed down your chest, your stomach, before…

His lips and tongue rasped your clit, almost as if he was trying to draw out the tiny nub even more.

You cried out, your hands falling to his hair once more, gripping it tightly and pulling him closer.

Graves groaned underneath your grasp of his hair, your nails scraping his scalp. You arched into him and he wrapped his hands around your ass, drawing you closer.

His tongue was then inside you while his nose still rubbed your clit. His hands grasped both sides of your ass, drawing you closer to his mouth.

And while his tongue was nowhere near your g-spot, the combination of his tongue inside of you, his nose rubbing your clit, and a hint of his teeth pushed your over the edge.

“Phil—” it was the first time you’d called your commander by his first name and certainly the first time you’d moaned his name in such an erotic way.

You’d always been attracted to Graves. But figured it was improper to think about fucking him. Yet you did. Many a night you’d brought yourself to orgasm and imagined it was him over you.

You never once imagined that fantasy would come true.

Graves had simply pushed his tactical pants down to his knees almost before rubbing his hard length against the lips of your pussy. Your pussy was already sticky and messy from your first orgasm.

You arched towards him, wanting more, wanting him inside of you so deeply that his cock kissed the entrance to your womb.

Graves chuckled darkly at your desperation and for a moment your glared at him for laughing at you.

You weren’t expecting it when he slammed inside you to the hilt in one go.

You cried out, screamed even.

But not in pain. Moreso in shock and surprise.

“You wanna act desperate, then take it,” Graves rumbled. As he pressed his face into your neck, sucking hickies you knew would be visible the next day as he settled inside of you.

His voice was always sexy but now it sounded absolutely sinful.

Graves moved inside of you and it dragged a rugged moan from your lips. A ragged moan that Graves was soon swallowing himself as his lips again made contact with yours. You tasted yourself and Graves when he kissed you and you had to admit you didn’t hate it.

His tongue didn’t reach your g-spot but his thick, veiny, long cock sure did.

It took no time at all to get you cock-drunk as Graves pulled out and slammed back into you.

You head fell back and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You could hardly believe your luck. Your very attractive commander was between your legs and buried deep inside of you.

Your hands went up to his shoulders and scratched, making him whimper and moan as the combination of pleasure and pain made him toss his head back in ecstasy.

When Graves had had enough of your nails drawing blood from his shoulders and back, he easily pinned your wrists on either side of your head before thrusting into your hard, steady.

He was hitting that spongy spot deep inside you each time he pushed back in and you were at a loss for words.

You could tell Graves was close to the edge when his thrusts got harder, faster, and when they started losing their rhythm. You felt that heat building in your own body, especially as he was now grinding his hips against you, stimulating your clit at the same time he slammed in and out of you.

You met his thrusts as you chased your own rapidly approaching high.

Your high and climax hit you harder than you expected and you expected yourself to cry out Graves’s name once more. One his hands left your wrist and placed it over your mouth. Your cries of pleasure were only audible to him as he chased his own orgasm, his thrusts rapid and desperate before cumming inside of you, shooting thick ropes of white cum directly into your fertile womb.

“Can…Can’t anyone hearing you, darlin,’” Graves gasped as he rode out his high.

His head collapsed on your chest and funny enough it was almost as if you could feel his fast, thundering pulse at his temple. You were sure he could hear your own rapid heartbeat as he laid on top of you, his blonde hair looking darker than normal as sweat stuck his hair to his forehead.

“No one can know,” you said drowsily, running your fingers through his now-damp hair.

“My boys aren’t the jealous type,” Graves responded.

“No?”

“They might ask to join in next time, though.”

#phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #cod mw2 #graves x reader

[sea-of-dust]

Wonderland Girl

Himeko,Jing Yuan,Seelie,Yanqing x GN! Reader

Summary: Relationship Headcannons!

Notes: Muhahaha, another theme change stg if I change my name rn no one will recognize me 😼😼. Ignore the Pastel★Pallette Referance I ran outta ideas

Warnings: suggestive humor,not proofread

She finds you so adorable even when your supposed to be serious. She'd be right next to you watching you come up with a plan and circle around the room. When you come up with a plan you do this cute thing where your head perks up and she just melts seeing this you can't be this cute.

She also likes whenever you act professionally in front of people from the train and then turn around and flirt with her. "Yea...if March is right about this, this could lead to a whole investigation breaking out... What do you think my dear" "my dear?" "Well the best course of action if things go south would probably be an ambush" "yea...most likely I'll go with you guys" "does that mean my room will be vacant again?" She teases "don't worry you still have plenty of things to remind you of me while I'm out ♡" March leans into the Trailblazer. "I think we should give em some room" "they need a room"

100% her hands are all over you. If your right next to she's having a hand around your waist. You could be on your phone she'd lean on you smiling. "You're so warm" she remarks, laying on your shoulder. She just loves physical contact

Her kisses are soft yet intimate depending on how many people are around. She's fine with pda but understands if you may be uncomfortable. Dosent stop her for pinning you against a wall and kissing you all over. "You're so adorable when you're flustered," she smiles

Welt usually gets indirectly bullied by you two. You could be all lovey dovey while he's on a call with the Trailblazer and he would just be unable to handle it. You pointed this out to her and wanted to see how long it would take for him to leave the room. "Himeko you're so beautiful today!" "Why you're as beautiful as always my dear" "Why you're stunning my love!" He looks back at you two annoyed. "Pardon Trailblazer" he moves to another room he could hear you two laughing in the other room.

She enjoys you pampering her. You tucking her in or preparing food for her. She loves it! She'll pay you back preparing a bath for you or giving you massages. "Just relax I'm very good with my hands" she rubs your back. "Thank you Himeko" "No problem" she kisses the back of your neck.

She likes dancing with you in private, not everyone should be allowed to see this side of her after all, a calm song with her being able to rest on your shoulder as you lead. "Thought you said you had cold feet" "I can manage." It's so calm and intimate that she tries not to fall asleep on you. "Don't sleep again" "aw howed you know" she looks up a bit drowsy. "Whenever you go five minutes without conversation it's kinda odvious your drifting off" she smiles "you know me well~"

She slipped a ring on your finger while out on a date. You two were drinking tea, and while you were looking away, she slips a ring on your finger. When you notice this, you look at your hand and look at her. "What?" "Did you-" she smirks, watching your flabbergasted reaction

She adores staying in and watching moves with you. Random crime docs or just bad TV drama she enjoys laying in bed next to you as you two cringe at a bad romance show. The best parts definitely when you end up sleeping. Then she gets to admire just how cute you could be without even trying!

Attempting to make tea together is something she didn't know she wanted until you did it. "Himeko, what flavor do you like?" You yell out,"Whichever you'd like." "That's not what I mean!" She walks into the room, finding you going through tea. "That one's hard to prepare. I'll show you," she guides you step by step on a way to make that tea. "And that's it!" You sigh in relief "oh finally that took two years!" She giggles at this, taking a quick sip. "...we should do this more often"

"Hey would you date me if there was a bird on your head right now?" "Why that's an odd chance but I'm willing to take it" you pluck out a bird from his head "...well-"

It was an odd way of asking him out, but what was odder was how genuine his feelings were for you. You never really saw any signs of him liking you. "You thought someone kissing your hand was normal?" "I thought that's how he greeted people!"

His kisses are quick and surprising. You turn to face him, he has a kiss planted on your cheek. You just wake up, quick little kiss. The only times you'll get a longer kiss outta him is when he's feeling a little more intimate or just a way of saying thank you for adoring him the way you do.

Whenever you're sick, he lets you come into the office to stay with him, but you gotta do some of the paperwork at least three pieces. "I told you you should have stayed home." "I can handle it!" You lean into him. "You're already groaning after the first paragraph," he softly laughs. "It's overwhelming, but I can do it!" He sighs turning back to his work

He likes catching whenever you look at him. You would admire his beauty thinking about him almost zoning out. He winks at you suddenly, waking you up from the day dream flustered. "How long was I staring at you?" "Few minutes" "HUH"

Dates with him are calm and fascinating. Often walks where you two sharing random stories with each other. He can't help but smile as you recount a random story you had. "So this one time I found a moth in my room" "mhm" "and it was on the shoe I usually used to kill bugs" "I see" "and then I remembered there was another shoe and smacked it" "remmber something simular happened to me but instead of a bug, it was a bird!" "You're like a princess next your birds are going to make up a military." "...that's actually a pretty good idea" an odd silence "so did you actually smack a bird-" "No I let it fly free out the window" "oh-"

He dosent want you near any danger. The dangers of paperwork are fine but straight up fighting monsters. No you're staying inside. Even when you have combat prowess he's still gonna be all "no its too dangerous" "I fought them before tho-" "good counter argument...stay inside till its safe" "HUH-"

He'll let you pat his head as long as there aren't any birds on it. As soon as you do, he leans in to eventually leaning on your chest. "Are they that calming?" "Very much" he smiles

He thinks you're so adorable. He tries to hide the urge to just cup your cheeks to see your reaction. He enjoys the thought of catching you all flustered and kissing you just to see your reaction.

He let you meet members of the military, and they treat you like a little sibling. Like a damsel, it makes you wonder when they'll ever realize why there are fewer monsters appearing lately. "General! Monsters haven't appeared as much as they used to its assumed they must be retreating!" "Why what good news the problem is...where are they retreating to..." and you'd just be looking away from him like you're totally not the cause for this

She's very VERY clingy. She won't lose you she'll make sure of it.

If anyone in the underground didn't know you were her s/o, she'd force em to know. You'd have to hit her with a "this isn't you 🥺" as soon as you got home, she'd hate it. "Pookie!" You'd snap your fingers in her face."This isn't you!" Snap snap,"quit it! You know stuff like that's cringy" "Sorry, can't help myself"

She'd sometimes get lost in thought when talking to you, almost in a daze. "Are you alright?" You wave your hand over her face. "Yea, yea I'm fine did you just...always look so?" Once she realized she said that last part outloud, she covers her face. "Forget I said anything!"

She loves whispering things into your ear. She thinks it's intimate. She'd sit next to you leaning in "I love you~" you look at her blush nearly covering your face. "Could have said that outloud!" "Seeing you flustered makes me wanna do it more"

She pokes you whenever she's in a bad mood or just finished off a mission. Poke Poke "you had a bad day huh?" "What makes you say that" she pokes you a bit more. "Did you get into an argument with someone again?" You cup her cheek. "...maybe" she stops poking you. "How about this we get some ice cream later to help you forget about it!"

She sometimes draws stuff on your skin. Randomly opening a marker and drawing a small butterfly. If you ever told her to stop she'd look a little disappointed before figuring out she could just write letters and cover them with little drawings in the corners. "She's so old fashioned but these little drawings...she's so adorable" Natasha smiles "she's so childish when around you" "really? I just always assumed she was like this"

If she were to ever catch you asleep, she'd cuddle up with you as if waiting for you to notice she's there with you. She'd kinda lay there awkwardly before just pulling you in for a cuddle.

Natasha definitely has pictures of Seelie growing up. She'd proudly show you as soon as Seelies out of sight. "And this is her 6th birthday" you cover your mouth "she's so cute!" "I know right!" She giggles to herself

She doesn't admit it, but she likes you treating her more than Natasha. Not that she doesn't like Natasha it's that if she knows it's not that bad, she's going to you with it. "Can't believe you got yourself hurt like this" you sigh, putting a bandage over her bicep. "Try not to fight too much k? Might open up the wound" you sigh. She likes the thought of you taking care of her she hides odvious blush on her face.

If you ever knew Sampo or someone she thought would do something bad to you that she knew personally. She'd quite litterally drag you away from them. You're just lucky you got to be held by the waist and not by the scruff, unlike one unlucky salesman.

You beat him through sword fighting. He got butthurt, challenged you to a rematch, you jokingly flirt with him, he got flustered then realized he really liked you, thank god you confessed first because he would have evaporated

He's very light. Lightheaded and light on his feet. You don't hear him running up to you for hugs. "Y/n!" He rubs his cheeks against yours,"Yanqing! Where did you come from -"

If he ever caught you stretching in an open area he'd get so excited. "What cha stretching for?" He sneaks up behind you putting his hands on your shoulders. "Nothing just wanted to get out a bit" "mmmhh WANNA SWORD FIGHT?!" the idea suddenly pops in his head. "I ment I was going for a walk" "oh..." he looked so disappointed. "We can train next week if that makes you feel better" and just like that he's back to hugging you tightly shifting most of his weight onto you. "Yay! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" "Calm down its nothing"

Hell never admit he's cute. You could tell him how cute he is and he'd be all "I am a swordsman! Not a piece of mochi!" "But you squish like one!" He tries not to smile as you stretch and swish his cheeks. "You're so cute!" "I'm not!"

He's always next to you, so say he lost you somewhere he'd lose his shit. "So then I hit em with-" he'd notice you not next to him "AAAHHHHHHH" he shreaks like a little girl and runs around the store looking for you. It got so bad he had to ask people coming out of the bathrooms. "Have you seen my s/o?!? Pretty cute...Looks like they unironcally sleep with plushies" "no?" "Damn, thank you!" It turns out you were in the other aisle looking at a piece of clothing you wanted for a while and then looked at the price and noped out. He's holding back tears

You got hurt when you went out without him. You covered it up, but he could tell something was bothering you. You didn't usually limp a tad when walking. So when you two got outta the public eye he kinda tests you softly kicking where he thinks you're in pain. You try to hold in a hiss as he's proven correct. "So what happened while I was training?" "Don't know what your talking about I'm fine." "Uh huh-" he kicks you there again "AH FINE FINE I TRIPPED" you hold onto the rail overlooking the view trying not to step down on that leg. "Knew it, why didn't you tell me?" "Because you get overly dramatic and would probably trap me in blankets and oreos if I did"

"I wouldnt!" He did...as soon as you got home it was almost an ambush. He wrapped you in your blanket and reopened your oreos. "...I told you" "shush! Now lemme take care of you" he looks at your knee rubbing cream on it. He seems pretty focused. "I'm sure it isn't that bad-" "I'm sure it is" "your wrapping my foot like a mummy..."

He'd try to get into video games you like. He didn't like some of them and ended up deleting some, but he still saw how you enjoyed them. He also tries to get you into video games he likes as well. "Hey, I found this game we might like playing!" "...looks like something my grandma would play. " You open your phone, proceeding to show him your grandma flexing how far she got in the game. "Only took her 10 months...scared of that woman." "Me too"

He tries to initiate kisses. He'd cup your face and lean in, but sometimes he just can't bear going through with it. He usually kisses you without a second thought, but when he thinks too hard about it, everything kinda just crashes down in his brain, and he goes pink. "Uh-" he pauses in the middle of leaning in to kiss you swiftly, turning away. "Thought about it too hard again?" You kiss him.

He whenever you do his hair. He purposely messes up his own hair to walk over to you. "You mind if you do my hair?" "Yea, sure, lemme get a brush. " You grab a brush and calmly untangle his hair. "The same again?" You look over to him. "Kinda wanna see something new." "All right," you part his hair, trying to think of something that would fit him, figuring a bun wound work. You wrap up his hair and put it in a bun. You had him a mirror. "One of the strands is lose," he points at it. "It's on purpose," you smile at the mirror. He gets up, looking at his hairstyle again. "You mind...doing this more offen?"

#honkai star rail #star rail #star rail x reader #star rail x y/n #honkai x reader #honkai seele #honkai yanqing #yanqing #honkai himeko #himeko #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #yanqing x reader

[chuusposts]

thorn princess

summary: diluc, zhongli, ayato with a shy/assassin/female! reader

warnings: violence, bombs idk, mentioned of hysteria(?)

notes: heavily inspired by mommy yor and her hot husband (/^ ་། ^)/

+ broken english (maybe)

more: a little information about you; you are either (fake) dating or married to them because apparently being a single woman at your age kinda sus. that and you are implied to have a brother (and a deceased parents ahuahahha) in all part :)

diluc - secure a wife

darknight hero's operation. an operation given to him, as the darknight hero, to stop whatever the fatui was planning. he was starting to get worried, especially since the people of monstadt are getting more curious day by day about the identity of the darknight hero. how to keep the people of monstadt from any harm without revealing his identity? how to stay low and not get caught as the darknight hero? should he get a partner to avoid the people's suspicion?

"oh well..." the male sighed as he straightened his body to sit properly. "i guess i'll just secure a wife."

and that's how he obtained the 'secure a wife' mission. that's how he secured you.

when you met him at a tailor shop a few days ago, you asked him a favour to be your date for your friend's party. it's not like you must bring one, but you didn't want to worry your brother since you lied to him and told him that you have a boyfriend. of course, he accepted it but he asked you something in return; to be his wife in the meantime. whilst he didn't state the reason, you still agreed to it.

this whole mission is to keep his identity a secret, so how did both of you end up like this?

a fatui's car crashing onto yours and diluc having a hard time explaining to you why the fatui were following him. there're also a few fights here and there between him and the fatui hence why he didn't realize that someone was trying to ambush the both of you until you had to kick him and accidentally sent him flying.

you gasp upon realising what you just did and kept apologising to him saying that you're still amateur and shouldn't have involved with his matters when he suddenly chuckled.

you halt your sentence as he brought himself to stand up, "thank you, y/n. how amazing! you sent him flying!" he said, smiling. you silently thank the dark alley as blush slowly starts to form on your cheeks as well as your ears.

nonetheless, he swiftly grabbed your wrist and sprinted when he heard another voice searching for the both of you. "i'm sorry to bring this up at a time like this..." you ponder for a moment before asking him, "...but would you like to get married?"

"huh?" it seems like your question caught him off guard when he suddenly stumbled on his steps making him fall on his face, "what?" "just something like an extension of our terms..." he can clearly see how nervous you are when you start to fidget with your hands and fingers, "apparently single woman such as myself are found to be suspicious, so to blend in... in order to continue my job as an assassin as well."

"w-what i'm trying to say is... rather than just pretending to be your wife, what about making it official? for our mutual benefits!" you might be in a state like a tomato right now, but that's the only way. he's probably the only person who'll accept you for who you are.

but what you didn't expect was for him to immediately agree to your proposal when he suggests to stop by the city hall on the way home and get the process started, "oh, that's right." he stop mid sentence and searches for something in his pocket. his facade dropped when he realised that the ring he was supposed to give you was no longer there.

"bastards!!" he grabs your shoulders and quickly bring you behind a big steel box, "shoot 'em dead!" and a lot of gunshot sounds can be heard after that.

when he makes it there, he takes off a grenade's safety pin "y/n, in times of sickness..." and throws it to the fatui, "and in times of sorrow," it felt as if time stopped as he slid the safety pin in your ring finger and held your hands dearly, "whatever difficulties may come,"

*boom*

"let us help each other."

zhongli - fake boyfriend

'is there anyone special?'

'i guess it's odd that she's alone in that age.'

'of course, you're welcome to bring a date.'

you were thinking about your co-workers and brother's words that kept ringing in your head; your friend, had invited you to her party that will be hosted during the weekend and even though she knew you didn't have a date, she still asked you to bring one. you looked in the mirror, and then to your dress that was slightly covered with your victims' blood, "it's impossible... the only housework i'm good at is cleaning up."

at least that's what you thought, until...

"i was just thinking how beautiful you are."

lately, people has been really cautious of zhongli. not because they know he's a former god whatsoever, it's because he knows too much; whether it's about the history of liyue, the god of wealth, or what happened during the previous archon's war. normal people would think he's just a person that loves history, but apparently that's not the case. he has been really careless these days and his actions almost coused him to reveal his true identity.

so when you told him about the problem you were facing, a thought crossed his mind, 'maybe having a fake girlfriend would not be so bad...'

but never in a million years you thought he would ditch you on the day of the party. currently it's half past seven and you haven't even seen a single strand of his hair. you sigh, eventually give up and decide to go to the party by yourself.

you knocked on the door a few times before your friends invited you in and asked you where your boyfriend is. it looks like they don't believe you even after you explained that your date had some urgent business to attend to. of course they don't, it's not like you were saying the truth. they're slowly getting on your nerves especially when they had the audacity to talk bad in front of you about how you're just a girl who can't get a man.

'such a nuisance. if all adults here die, maybe my brother won't find out that i came here alone...'

you shake your head in denial. you can't just go killing people like that, that's not how your job works.

as you make your way to the chair in the corner of the room, you notice how everyone is either with their partner or children. they look so... happy, eyes shining brighter than those ores at the chasm. a family, something you thought that you will never have. 'it must be what it's like, to be normal...' maybe your brother wanted you to be like them.

guessing that you don't belong here (and probably never will), you pack your things and decide to leave, gathering your friends' attention, "i'm sorry... i'm going to excuse myself-"

'slam' you jolted and let out a small yelp when the door slammed open and there he was, standing at the door frame beside you with blood dripping from his forehead, "i apologize for being so late! i'm zhongli, y/n's boyfriend."

is he okay? he looks dizzy... why is there blood anyway? shocked by what just happened, you still hand your handkerchief to him. but it's not just you, every single guest in the room is alarmed. zhongli had to calm everyone down by lying that it was just some hilichurls that had ambushed him while he was on the way hence why he's late.

"you must be joking. you have a boyfriend, y/n? why didn't you say anything?" your friend asked.

you look away in embarrassment and murmur a "i- uh... but i did tell you..."

"mr. zhongli, did you know?" but it seems to you that your friend has no plan to back out as she brings her tipsy self closer to him, "i heard she had a shady job before she came to our workplace! what was it? men would call you and you'd go to hotels to give them massages! how scandalous! bla bla bla "

you close your eyes, too ashamed to look at your boyfriend. at this point, you might as well stop working at your workplace and give up being an assassin.

"it is admirable." ...huh? you look at him as if you're asking him for an explanation.

zhongli smiles, taking your hand in his and giving it a little squeeze, "i heard you lost your parents when you were young and had to work hard to look after your brother. it must be hard to continue working at a young age and taking care of your brother both at once. that's something you should be proud of."

it requires more than just determination to endure and continue hard work for the sake of someone or something, at the expense of oneself. he knows it very well, he knows it more than anyone else.

usually, it was always you alone. but when there's your boyfriend standing beside you right now, even if it's fake, surely you will feel a lot warmer tonight.

ayato - royal chef

you're probably not aware of this but, ayato doesn't fail to notice how you have been coming home late recently. as this is only a marriage of convenience, he tries not to stick his nose into your business. but he's not the type of husband to ignore his wife at all. he also notices how you have a gloomy and sollen face, and numerous cuts on your hands every time you come home.

he wants to tell you how worried he is and how badly he wants to talk about it, but you're always exhausted and always in your own room, not even bothering to touch the food thoma prepared for the both of you. as the head of the yashiro commissioner, he has every right to be suspicious of you.

well, that's his point of view.

you, on the other hand, just finished buying groceries with a murderous look on your face and was on your way to your friend's house.

a few days ago, you had asked your friend to teach you cooking because your ability in cooking sucks and what kind of wife doesn't know how to cook? last time when you tried to take thoma's place and cook for ayato, he was in the bathroom all day. if this continue, your marriage (and your job as an assassin) will be in danger as he will get tired of you and rid you out of his life. it's a recipe for disaster if neither the wife nor the husband can cook.

so here you are, looking forward to learn cooking from her again. her husband even invited your brother to taste your dishes. but then again, maybe you should just give up...

"how in the world does this happen with a peeler?! it's a pool of blood!"

"like i said, you're cutting it too small! just cut it normally!"

"hey! why did you cut the cutting board? that was my favorite!"

you're lucky that she's nice, only a little cynical.

anyway, your first dish is complete, time to taste the food! it looks uh... yes, very edible.

as soon as your brother put it in his mouth, he swore that he could see his ancestors waving at him asking him to go to the afterlife with them. you could say the same to your friend and her husband as you see their almost lifeless body lie down in front of you. maybe yakisoba was too advanced for you, so let's make something easier like omelette rice.

"it's delicious! it's so good that i'm breaking out in a cold sweat!"

but wait, something's weird. is he... eating and throwing up at the same time? his face is turning blue too.

"as i'm tasting this flavour, my childhood memories are rushing back to me. wait, i'm seeing someone... is that our deceased mother?"

"stop! stop for a second, my guy!"

your friend sighed, and suddenly an idea popped up in her head, "hey, don't you remember something delicious that your parents made for you? just as reference."

and that's how the real cooking lesson started.

the next night arrives and you're so excited to finally cook for your beloved husband. oh right, you even invited ayaka and thoma to eat together as a token of appreciation for everything they did to you. they had a little doubt when you said you're gonna cook for them, but they still let you. ayato's suspicions also died when you tell him that you were secretly learning how to cook.

"it's done! the fried egg kind of lost its shape, but... please enjoy!"

ayato smells it as he takes a spoonful of the stew soup you just made just to make sure they're safe to eat. with hesitation and his heart beating faster than the speed of light, he finally puts it in his mouth.

"it's delicious!"

they say simultaneously. their facial expressions says it all as they continue eating, "ayaka likes this!" and "it tastes very comforting." could be heard in the dining room.

seeing their faces look so happy while eating... it brings back so many memories, especially when your mother used to cook for you when you were still small. it touches your heart how such a little gesture can bring so much happiness to them.

you cover your face as tears start to dwell up in your eyes. you thought that you had to protect this life in order to continue as an assassin. but having all of them approve of you, and seeing their laughter, just simply makes you so happy, and it makes you want to continue seeing them like this.

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[bluebeary-jay]

scattered thoughts / sharp focus

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel is taken away from you and upon finding him almost-dead... something in you snaps ((kinda part 2 to clouded judgment / clear mind, but you don't necessarily need to read that one))

Tags: ANGST, angst with happy ending, near death experiences, Joel has surprisingly little screen time but you'll see he was there in spirit

Warnings: REALLY graphic descriptions of violence, small panic attacks, KINDA torture(?) 😳, choking, lemme know if i missed something

Word count: 7.5K

A/N: i can't believe i've finally finished it! i aimed for a worthy successor to cj/cm aaand i hope i managed but jeez was it hard. also i told myself i won't be writing sth like that again but i kinda have an idea for the final part (would be hurt/comfort 🤭) so let me know if it's sth you'd like to read. anyway as always happy reading!! 💕🥰 comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, i absolutely love seeing what you think of my fics!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You swallowed your tears and rested the chin on your hands, trying to push back the wave of panic threatening to drown you.

“Tell me again.”

Tommy sighed, his own eyes empty and worried.

“I don’t know who those guys were, but they obviously knew Joel. There was a dark man leadin’ them, and I think he had somethin’ wrong with his lip, but it was too far for me to take a good look. The group consisted of five, maybe six people? And I shot one of them, but he appeared to still be alive when they were leavin’.”

You were silent for a couple of seconds, trying to make sense of it all.

“And where did they take him?”

“I reckon to the old ski resort on the top of the mountain. We ventured pretty far from here to investigate these tracks.”

You nodded and steeled yourself, taking a deep, trembling breath and quickly drying your tears.

“Okay. I’m going.”

“You’re not.” Maria leaned over the table, her expression unyielding. “The decision is final.”

“I am going,” you repeated fiercely, slamming the flat of your hand against the tabletop, but Tommy gave you a stern look, which made you bite your tongue. “Look, I get that you don’t want to lose even more people in a rescue mission–”

“This is not what it’s about,” Maria retorted, almost looking hurt by your words. “Believe me, if I wasn’t carrying another human being inside me, I’d already be going after them. But you have to take other things into consideration.”

“She’s right,” Tommy spoke up quietly, though equally irritably, and you turned sharply to look at him in disbelief. “The route to the resort is very advantageous to fall into an ambush. They could shoot us off like ducks and we’d have nowhere to hide.”

“I don’t care,” you ground out, looking from one to the other. “We can’t leave Joel. He’s your family, for goddamn–”

“You think I don’t know that?!” shouted Tommy abruptly, bringing his hand down onto the table, too. “He’s my fucking brother and was family way before you were even born!”

“Tommy.” Maria kicked him under the table, keeping one hand on her belly. Her husband flared his nostrils, clearly agitated by your words, but you were too angry yourself to care right now. You two glared at each other for some time before Tommy clenched his fists and turned around.

“M’goin’ to get some air,” he said gloomily over his shoulder, already at the door leading outside. Maria sighed and looked at you again.

“Please. Don’t do anything stupid, and I swear I’ll send a group out as soon as this blizzard ends.”

“He can be long dead by then,” you answered gravely, really set off by Tommy’s reaction and his words. You tried to will your tear ducts to hold any signs of stress and worry, not wanting to show your friend how broken and helpless you felt inside. “If it was me, he’d already be halfway there to save me, Maria.”

“I know. But just think about it. If something happens to you…” She shook her head. “How do you think I’d be able to look Joel in the eyes and explain why… how…”

She genuinely seemed at a loss of words, and you sighed, rubbing your eyes tiredly.

“I understand where you’re coming from, I really do. But I need to get him home, Maria. I have to.”

With that, you stood up, feeling like you were going to suffocate if you stayed in the room any longer. You didn’t look back even when you heard Maria calling your name softly.

There wasn’t any sense in discussing the matter with any of them – you made up your mind to go and save Joel and there was no way anyone would make you stay. He wouldn’t hesitate to go and get you if anyone dared to lay a hand on you.

You remembered that one time when he killed a group of men who wanted to use you as a bargaining chip to gain entry to Jackson. And how afterward you told him you’d do the same for him, unable to bear the painful and guilty expression on his face.

Now you planned on doing just that.

You were scared – of course you were, you weren’t stupid – and the nerves were practically eating you alive, gnawing at your bones and hurting your muscles from the inside out.

But the worst was the fear of never seeing Joel again. Of something happening to him. And you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t at least try…

“I’m coming with you.”

Your head snapped to the side. There stood Ellie – dressed in a warm jacket and a hat that didn’t cover her ears. Her eyes were full of fire, and you recognized the anger and determination in her expression as the same which were almost suffocating you.

Of course she was eavesdropping on the conversation. It was Joel that it was about, after all, her dad in all but one sense.

And suddenly you understood what Maria meant by not being able to look Joel in the eyes if something happened to you.

“No,” you said curtly, walking past her and out onto the street in the direction of your house.

“I’m not asking for permission.” Ellie was right behind you, and the force of her steps showed just how angry and frustrated she was – just like you felt. “I know you’re gonna go after those guys, and I’m coming with you.”

“You’re not,” you repeated more sternly, not turning around to face her. You reached your house and fumbled to open the door. “You’re staying and that’s fina–”

You stopped yourself and sighed, pressing your forehead against the wooden surface.

It was unfair. You were unfair. If those exact words spoken by Maria have set you off so much, you wouldn’t be surprised if Ellie…

“You’re not my fucking mom, remember?” the girl barked angrily, and you let out a shuddering breath, stressed to your limits with everything that happened in the last few hours. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do just because you’re older!”

It’s okay. It’s gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be okay.

“I know,” you whispered after a couple of seconds of silence, still not turning around. “I’m sorry.”

Ellie didn’t answer. You repeated your quiet mantra and glanced over your shoulder at her. “But Ellie, I… I can’t let you go. Joel would never forgive me if something happened to you.”

Jesus. Exactly like Maria.

Ellie still looked pissed at your earlier words, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well, you’re not the only one who cares about him, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. But you’re the one he cares about the most.”

Ellie opened her mouth. Closed it and furrowed her eyebrows, but the irritation in her eyes dimmed. You gave her a small, apologetic smile, trying not to burst into tears.

“He’s gonna be fine, you know,” you lied smoothly, opening the door. “And Maria said she’ll send a group to retrieve him as soon as the storm eases up a bit.”

You didn’t even need to look to know that she didn’t believe you. To be honest, you wouldn’t believe yourself either in this situation.

You waited several seconds to see if the girl wanted to say something else, but after a few moments she spun on her heel and went back, not saying anything. You stared after her, but when the thick snow made her figure just a fuzzy shape, you gently closed the door and pressed the heels of your hands to your eyes.

It’s going to be fine. You’ll get Joel back and all will be okay.

You took a couple of deep – albeit shaky – breaths to pull yourself together, and when you were pretty sure you weren’t about to start crying, you made your way into the kitchen. And stopped short.

At your table sat Tommy, fiddling with his thumbs.

“Fuck, Tommy,” you mumbled, trying to calm down your pounding heart. “You scared the crap out of me.”

The younger Miller looked up, but stayed silent. You looked at each other for a few tense moments, but ultimately you sighed and left him in the kitchen, going to your room to get a backpack and another, more fitting, set of clothes.

He was still there when you returned to the kitchen with your stuff, but you didn’t even pretend you weren’t preparing to head out. The man watched silently as you put the backpack down by the door, went to retrieve and reload your gun, and gathered some essentials on the table, not once glancing in his direction.

You were persistent in ignoring Tommy’s presence, but then he finally spoke up.

“We can go before dawn. I’ll get the horses ready and we will take the fourth gate.”

You froze and stopped what you were doing, then turned around and placed your hand on your hip.

“We can’t take horses up there. Not in this weather.”

“We’ll leave them at the fifteenth checkmark. That place in the East where there are so many swallows durin’ spring.”

You nodded, and your gaze softened when you looked him over. Tommy was just as worried about Joel as you were, you knew it. He was just better at hiding it.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” you murmured, feeling terrible that in such a short amount of time, it was a second person you were apologizing to. “But you know I have to go after him. You know that.”

“Fuck,” he swore quietly, sighing. “Yeah, I know. There’s no way I ain’t goin’ either. Just… I just hate doing somethin’ behind Maria’s back.”

You didn’t answer – because what could you say? That he didn’t have to go with you? As much as you wanted to save Joel, pretending not to care about the dangers or anyone’s opinion, you knew you’d probably die if you went alone. But it didn’t mean you were going to ignore all that Tommy was risking by coming along with you.

“You don’t have to, Tommy,” you whispered. “You have your wife to think about, after all. And your–”

“I know,” he interrupted glumly. “Don’t worry. All of us will come back.”

You nodded. You really hoped he was right.

*****

At first, everything was going according to plan.

At least, until Ellie decided to show up.

She surprised both you and Tommy a couple of miles outside of Jackson, probably thinking that it was far enough that you won’t try to send her away.

You tried anyway. You were understandably furious, not only because she didn’t listen to you, but also that she trailed after you both for so long in this weather. Her reveal caused a short screaming match and a couple of nervous tears shed by you, but eventually you and Tommy decided it’d be more dangerous to make Ellie go back to Jackson alone. So she continued with you to the house where you left your horses, then past it and in the direction of the ski resort.

You didn’t know how many people were at the resort, and there were only the two of you – well, three, counting Ellie, but no matter her stubbornness, you weren’t going to let her go in – and an attack was too risky in this situation.

So you decided to sneak in. To distract and draw the kidnappers’ attention long enough for you to get Joel out.  It was still stupidly risky, but it wasn’t like there were much more options that wouldn’t end in those guys killing all of you. The plan was that Tommy would find a vantage point and be on guard to take down any threats with his sniper rifle if you were noticed, while you go get Joel.

Ellie… Ellie didn’t take no for an answer. And as much as you hated that she tagged along on this dangerous rescue mission, you had to admit that she came prepared. Apparently some time ago Joel taught her how to make trap mines and she pitched the idea of planting some up the mountain to create an avalanche.

Well, you and Tommy were both very much against setting off a full-blown avalanche, but it wasn’t a bad idea per se. So it was agreed that Tommy will help her set the bombs in some strategic places while you wait for a signal to go in.

The sneaking in part was surprisingly easy. The people staying there didn’t leave any guards outside, probably because they didn’t expect that someone would actually look for them in this weather, and it seemed that there weren’t that many of them inside like you feared. You had a vague idea where Joel might be, based on the positioning of the people present, so you reckoned it’ll be the wisest to wait nearby.

It took about an hour of hiding in one of the empty rooms (you had to change your hiding spot once, because someone decided to randomly sweep the perimeter) before you heard distant explosions and panicked, angry yells, and then a rumble of the mountain. You suspected a fair amount of snow was falling down the slope, and you prayed that Ellie and Tommy were in a safe place when that happened.

You heard the sound of footsteps getting further away. Then more of it. It was eerily silent, and you counted to ten in your head, before slowly exiting your hiding spot.

Just as you suspected, Joel was held in the lobby, tied to one of the decorative columns, and even though his back was to you, you’d recognize him anywhere, even by hands or the back of his head alone. A quick glance around the room confirmed that there was no one around, but still you preferred to stay on guard. You silently tip-toed to where he was sitting on the floor, mindful of all the debris scattered on the floor and keeping your head low, and breathed a sigh of relief when you finally reached him.

“Don’t move,” you whispered, barely moving your lips. Your fingers touched his wrist and he budged slightly. You angled your face closer to the left side of his head, hoping he’ll hear you better this way. “It’s me, Joel. I’m gonna get these off you, okay?”

Not waiting for the reply, you took out your knife and started to cut the thick, coarse rope binding Joel’s wrists. You winced at the burns underneath, but you managed not to cut him, which was a feat with how tight the ropes were. He was very still, probably not wanting to handicap you.

��Okay,” you whispered when the last of the thick strands were cut through, and you carefully slid the remnants of the rope from his wrists. “Now follow me, Tommy is…”

Your voice died down when Joel’s arms loosely slumped down, along with his head, and a second later his torso started tilting to the side before heavily hitting the ground.

Your heart stopped in your chest.

“No.” The whispered word escaped you when you hurried around him, now not caring about staying hidden. “No, no, no, please…”

You rolled Joel onto his back and only now saw the damage done to him – his nose broken, face covered in blood, a gash under his left ear, and a still bleeding gunshot wound in his arm. He didn’t look dead, didn’t have that lifeless emptiness around him, but his eyes were closed and his chest was still. You put your ear to his mouth, desperate to feel his breath on your skin, but…

No, it can’t be, it can’t…

You couldn’t feel anything.

“Joel,” you said quietly, taking his face between your hands, but tears were blurring your vision. “Come on, please open your eyes.” A choked sob broke out of your throat and you shook your head when he still didn’t even as much as stir. “Love, please…”

That’s when your eyes landed on a small, glass vial lying discarded some feet away. You looked from it to Joel, tears clouding your vision, and scrambled forward to check it out.

As you suspected, the syringe – because that’s what it turned out to be – had the traces of a thick, translucent liquid in it left. There wasn’t any writing on it, but the glass was clean, unlike various other bottles and wrappings scattered throughout the facility. You stared at it for a couple of seconds, then fixed your gaze on Joel again.

Just as the sound of footsteps started to echo down the hall.

You froze and strained your ears to make sure you didn’t imagine it, then took a look around the room. The doors were slightly ajar, but whoever was coming here, they couldn’t see you just yet. Panic seized your insides and you turned to Joel again.

“Sweetheart, please wake up,” you whispered pleadingly, shaking his shoulders and slapping his cheek lightly. “Come on, look at me, open your eyes…"

The steps were getting louder by the second. You tore the glove off your hand with your teeth and tried to very quickly check Joel’s pulse, but either in your panic you couldn’t find it, or the heartbeat was too slow for you to pick up.

You didn’t consider any other option.

There wasn’t much time left, so finally you left him and quietly went to hide behind the door, waiting for the incomer to walk in. Your hand reached for the gun on your belt.

And paused.

There couldn’t be any other option… right? Joel was alive, you just failed to find his pulse. He…

He was lying, still in the place you left him, and you couldn’t see his chest moving. The blood was flowing from the wound in his arm, staining his jacket and the floor… Your hand, the one holding the pistol, was covered in it, too…

Then you did something you never expected of yourself.

The gun stayed in its holster, and you went to grab from the ground one of the heavier pieces of debris you noticed before, a long metal pipe. Your hands tightened on the metal, and your eyes stayed on Joel’s lifeless form. You took a stifled, nervous breath. Then a deep, steadying one.

The person in the hall was really close now. Joel still didn’t appear to be moving or breathing, and it made your own chest feel tight and painful.

He couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t.

But if they did this, if… if he won’t ever open his beautiful brown eyes again, say your name in that entricing raspy drawl…

The doors to your right opened and your face twisted in rage and resentment. Your muscles tensed and focus sharpened.

The man who walked through the door made a noise of surprise at the sight of Joel lying on the floor – and that inhaling sound, that maddening noise seemed to taunt you, because how dared he breathe when Joel’s own breath was stolen from him, when you weren’t sure if it was still there – right before you stepped forward and swung the pipe with all your might.

The man – dark skin, with short hair – fell down with a loud cry when the harsh metal hit him right in the temple. Your eyes scanned his figure for a weapon, and you hit him again, this time somewhere near his stomach, when he made a move to reach for his knife.

“What did you give him?!” you asked with malice and venom that were so alien to you, you almost didn’t recognize your voice. The man’s eyes focused on you for the first time when you kicked his blade away, and his confusion turned to anger.

“Crazy bitch!” he spat, heaving for air, and lunged at you, but the open wound in his skull must’ve slowed him down, because without any problem you managed to raise your makeshift weapon before he could grab you.

Since you met him so many years ago, you always had Joel to watch your back. Now you were alone, but somehow that thought didn’t scare you. It exhilarated you.

An unpleasant, hair-rising crack echoed in the room, followed by the stranger’s scream, when the heavy metal smashed the bones in the forearm.

“I asked… a simple, fucking, question!” you snarled at the man, bringing the pipe down again, aiming for his hand this time. He moved it away at the last second, which enraged you even more, so with a mad, frustrated scream, you smashed his knee, using the pipe’s momentum when it bounced off the floor. “What the fuck did you do to him?!!”

He screamed, loudly and terribly, cursing at you with every shaky breath he took, and–

You felt so unlike you, so… out of your skin, somehow… but you wanted to make him suffer. You wanted to know this inhuman cry of pain that was reverberating through the walls of the resort was your doing and your power over this bastard. Because of what they did to Joel.

Then a loud bang rang out in the air, and you instinctively ducked your head when a part of the door to your side was shot off. You dropped the pipe – no use for it now – and drew your gun, noticing with surprise that your heart was steady and your breath even, as if you didn’t almost get shot just now.

Another bullet was sent in your direction, and a woman’s voice yelled something inaudible, while you stood still and counted the seconds.

Three, two…

In a rapid movement, you came out of cover and aimed at the person standing in the hall, firing twice. The first bullet hit the woman in the arm while the second seemed to burrow itself in her stomach. She fell backwards with a curt cry, and the man lying at your feet roared with rage.

“No! You fucking bitch, leave her alone!!”

Your motions were almost automatic as you put your gun away and picked up the metal pipe again, its end splattered with blood. The man in front of you had to see something in your eyes – despair? emptiness? hatred? – because his face fell and he started quietly begging for you to stop and let him go. At least that’s what you assumed he was saying, because you didn’t listen to him one bit.

“Do not…” you started, unexpectedly calmly, bringing the end of the blunt weapon down. The impact caused his shinbone to break, and you lingered for just a moment to hear the bitter cracks of the shattered bones, “fucking… go anywhere. Don’t you dare move, hear me?”

The man didn’t answer, just cursed and wept in pain. The sound was horrible, but you almost didn’t notice it – or more accurately, didn’t care. Which would be even more concerning if you weren’t aware of the woman lying injured in the hall behind the door, and Joel, still unmoving and cold to the touch on the other side of the room.

Slowly, not hearing the black man’s cries or distant gunshots from where Tommy probably was taking down the enemies, and not caring about the blood of a stranger covering your jacket and pants, you dropped the pipe and took out your gun again. Then you made your way down the corridor, your eyes locked on the woman who shot at you.

She was groaning in pain, clutching at her stomach. When she noticed you, her hand reached for the pistol which lay discarded next to her, but you quickly lifted your own and aimed at her before she touched it.

“Don’t move,” you murmured, which would sound almost soft if it weren’t for the empty look in your eyes. The woman scanned you up and down, and slowly lifted her hands.

“Who are you?”

“What did you give him?” you asked like you didn’t hear her, coming closer to kick away her gun to the far end of the hall. The woman’s eyes followed the weapon, then shifted to you.

“Do you even know what that man did? What is he guilty of?”

“I know. Now answer the damn question. What did you give–”

The door on your left slammed open and you only had time to turn your head before a heavy body collided with you, pushing you to the wall. Your head hit the bricks with an echoing crack, knocking the breath out of you. A man who surprised you grabbed the material of your jacket and slammed you into the wall again, but you managed to grab his hair and yank it hard, which allowed you to step to the side and away from the point of disadvantage that being trapped against the wall was.

The man – taller than you, with a black eye and without one of the front teeth – was quick to recover, however, and catched the wrist of your hand that held the gun, pushing it to the side when you pulled the trigger. From the corner of your eye you could see the woman you shot curling up and covering her head, then trying to scamper away, but the wound in her stomach was a significant impediment.

You fired again, trying to wrestle the gun from the man, but his grip was strong and after a few seconds of struggle he managed to knock the weapon out of your grasp, sending it flying to where you kicked off the woman’s one earlier.

Not sooner than your hands were empty, his elbow collided with your face, hard, and you cried when a gush of blood started pouring from the broken nose and a cut on your lip. Fear washed over you, and sheer luck caused you to duck to the side in time, avoiding a fist to the temple.

You stumbled backwards a few unstable steps, breathing heavily. The guy was smirking, acting like he already won – but you weren’t about to die in this sleazy, stinky place, leaving Ellie all alone and never knowing why they abducted Joel in the first place.

Joel…

“You’ve made a huge mistake,” said the man quietly, taking one, then two steps forward and swinging again. You backed away a second time, feeling your heart pounding in panic and knowing you didn’t stand a chance against a man of his stature.

Finally your luck ran out, and the man managed to hit you in the jaw, making you taste blood on your tongue. Before you could recover, one of his hands shot forward and grabbed you by the throat, and then, still keeping his big hand on your neck, he brought your entire torso down, slamming you to the ground. You hit your head hard and the glass shards on the floor embedded themselves in your skin, but in the next moment the sound of your painful scream was cut short. The grip the man had on your throat tightened, and you started to have difficulty breathing.

Your eyes budged in fear as realization of what was happening dawned on you, and you started to kick and struggle wildly, reaching for your attacker’s face, but he moved out of reach, still putting his whole weight down on you.

Your fists were hitting his forearms, your nails scratching his cheeks, whatever to make him let go. But he didn’t, his hands still squeezing your throat so strongly and crushing your esophagus.

“After I kill you, I’ll go kill your friend,” your attacker snickered, smiling viciously as he watched ice-cold panic enveloping you. “He’s not worthy of keeping him alive that long, anyway.”

Something ignited inside you at his words.

Joel.

You suddenly remembered the many self-defense lessons Joel had given you, so that whenever he wasn’t there to protect you, you could do it yourself. He was always so afraid for your life…

Slowly and with great effort, your fingers crept down, searching for the handle of your hunting knife, while dark spots started to appear before your vision, partially covering the sneering face of the man crushing your windpipe. He said something else – something you didn’t even hear because of the ringing in your ears…

And then with the last bit of your strength, you yanked the knife out of its sheath and buried the blade in the side of his neck.

Several things happened simultaneously: the man cried in surprise and let you go, the woman shouted a warning – too late – and you swung your leg over him, straddling and stabbing the man over and over again. His neck, his chest, his face, you didn’t even see what you were hitting. Screaming your lungs out and burying the blade in him again, and again, and again.

And again.

With an outraged, desperate cry, the woman lunged at you, but the adrenaline coursing through your system made you not even register something cutting deeply the skin of your arm, your veins and muscles giving way. You spun around, tumbling with her to the ground, but quickly managed to pin her down, blocking her arms in place with your knees, and pressing the tip of your knife to her chest.

She immediately stopped moving.

“Last fucking chance,” you croaked with difficulty, your neck bruised and swollen. “What… did you give him?”

You didn’t know if it was the sight of you, bloodied and wounded, the fact that you just violently killed her friend, or something else entirely – but now the woman looked scared.

“Okay,” she whispered, trying not to breathe too deeply, and glanced nervously at the blade pressed against her skin. “Okay, I’ll tell you, just don’t… It was a tranquilizer. Nothing dangerous, we just put him to sleep for a couple of hours. He was putting up quite a fight and the guys were getting antsy that he’ll pull something off before–”

“He’s not breathing,” you rasped viciously, sputtering blood onto her face. The woman flinched and took a shaky breath.

“His heart rate is slowed down, but it doesn’t– it shouldn’t kill him.”

You clenched your teeth, then exhaled. Inhaled.

You have to take a grip of yourself. He is alive. He has to be…

Should be.

The weight with which you had pinned her to the ground became lighter, and the woman sighed with relief when you removed the sharp end from her chest.

“It shouldn’t… kill him?” you repeated emptily, trying to dismiss the pain in your throat when you were speaking.

“No.”

Your head was still buzzing, but you tried to push it to the side, to focus on what was important right now.

“Why… did you take him?”

And just with that one, quiet question, the woman’s expression changed. You were considering letting her go, since you already hurt her pretty badly, but the sudden shift in her behavior set off alarm bells in your head once more.

“He’s a murderer,” the woman said, as if it was the most obvious answer. “A monster that would do everyone a favor if he got put down.”

White, blinding fury flooded your veins and it felt almost as if electricity was cracking above your skin. Your hand held the knife tighter.

‘Put down’, like… like an animal. She was talking about the man you loved–

You weren’t able to stop the hatred and rage flowing out of every pore of your skin. In one swift motion you plunged the knife into the woman’s chest, making her choke and gasp in surprise.

“You cannot call him that,” you spluttered, barely able to speak from the pain. “You…”

And then your hand forced its way lower down, still holding the handle of your weapon. Cutting through the woman’s – now struggling and screaming in agony – abdomen and guts.

They went so far as to abduct Joel, they took him from you, hurt and shot him, wanted to torture him, to make him suffer before they ultimately kill him…

But they didn’t, he can’t be dead, he can’t–

The woman was conscious the entire time as you were ripping her insides apart, and her screams died down only after you reached the navel.

Your vision was blurry and faltering when you stood up, but your heart was still beating steadily. There was an echo of a scream in your ears, though you couldn’t tell if it was your or the dead woman’s voice.

There wasn’t anyone else in the hallway. In the back of your mind you hoped that Tommy took care of any remaining enemies, because if they’d come running here, you didn’t think you’d be able to hear them in time.

Clutching your injured arm, you slowly made your way to the room where you left Joel and the man who attacked you first. Your gun was lying near the entrance and you picked it up before pushing the door open and staggering inside.

The man wasn’t where you left him. Instead there was a big pool of blood, forming into a wide, smeared path leading further into the lobby. At the end of it you saw him, groaning and crawling to the exit.

You reloaded the gun and walked closer. At the sound, the man turned his head and his eyes widened when he saw you.

“You fucking psycho!” he spat, bracing himself on the elbow of his left arm – the only one still working. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! When she sees it, they’ll come for you, and they’ll make sure that the two of you will fucking pay for it!”

His words were flowing through you as you struggled to keep your vision focused. You felt weird – almost like waking up way too early and finding your body not listening to you entirely.

Then you realized. The hungry, burning anger was gone, the embers of hatred slowly dying out. There was only smoke and emptiness left inside you.

“I don’t care,” you mumbled, not loud enough for the man to hear you, but that didn’t matter – two seconds later he was dead, his brain splattered all over the floor behind him.

Your hand was shaking. Cold crept up your limbs, embracing and almost choking you as you breathed in, out, faster and faster as you finally comprehended what you did.

Your eyes moved down to the man’s indented knee, completely smashed into a bloody mess. The other limb was all wrong, his foot sticking in the opposite direction and no wonder he had to crawl to get away from you, you destroyed his legs, you…

You staggered backwards, your pupils darting to the hallway just for a second before returning to the battered corpse in front of you. The back of his skull was gone now, but how did he stay conscious for so long after you smashed his head with a metal pipe? There was so much blood on it… How much pain he must have felt after you left him?

And that woman… He begged you to leave her alone, and you… you ripped her open…

You moved back, back and further away, before tripping and falling to the floor. Your breaths were fast and shallow, and you reached for your neck, sore and swollen from almost being strangled, trying to will your lungs to work.

They were bad people. They took and hurt Joel, and planned to kill him. You had to kill them, they’d kill you in a heartbeat, they…

It wasn’t like you’ve never taken a life before, but it was the first time that you inflicted pain on somebody on purpose – not in self-defense, but because you wanted to retaliate. It was done in revenge.

You didn’t know for how long you had sat there when you heard someone saying your name. It sounded like… No, it couldn’t have been his voice, he was unconscious, he wasn’t breathing…

Suddenly, Tommy’s face appeared in your blurry field of vision – of course it was him, their voices were so similar, after all – and there was a deep crease between his brows. He looked worried and fearful, and–

“Snap out of it,” he said firmly, shaking your shoulders harder than he should have. Your name fell from his lips when you didn’t answer, and his eyes followed yours to a battered body on the floor. “Look at me. Look at me.” Tommy forcefully turned your chin in his direction, and his eyes were full of sorrow and pain. “You did what you had to do.”

You shook your head, swallowing the tears that streamed down your face. He didn’t know what you did. He didn’t understand what happened here, what happened with you… You yourself didn’t know what happened to you.

Tommy brought you closer to his chest, enveloping you in his strong embrace and the smell of leather and gunpowder. You choked on air, unable to stop the sobs racking your body, and deaf to his words, for the only thing you could hear were cracks of bones, screams of pain, and your own vengeful cries.

It was so loud in your mind that you almost missed a quiet grunt coming from behind you.

*****

Joel slowly opened his eye, then groaned and closed it again. He felt like shit and it was so hard to breathe, but he pushed through the pain and discomfort from the wound in his side, and tried again.

The first thing he saw was the greenish curtain, hiding the rest of the room from him, but judging by the fact that he was lying in bed, alive, with apparently all his wounds dressed, he figured it wasn’t the same place that group of angry youngsters took him to.

Lifting his head and turning it to the other side was a tremendous task, but it was so worth it – because there was you. Sitting in a chair next to him, asleep and with your head lying on folded arms on his bed. Joel smiled softly, but then furrowed his brows as a pang of anxiety shot right through him.

Your face was a mess, with cuts and bruises healing, your brow was split, and one of your forearms had a bandage wrapped around it, now a little dirty around the edges. Joel couldn’t see clearly, but your neck seemed… dark, as if the skin was bruised there, too.

What the hell happened?

He lifted his arm – the tingles and needles pierced his stiff limb – and brushed your cheek lightly, trying to wake you.

“Darlin’...” he murmured, and you stirred. He tried to say it again, louder this time, but his throat was scratchy and he winced at the feeling. There was no need for it, however, because in the next moment your eyes fluttered open and then widened when you took in the sight of him, realizing he’s awake.

“Joel!” Your hands – God, he missed the feeling of them – cupped his face gently, and your eyes filled with tears in the matter of seconds. “Oh my god, baby…”

“Hey, hey, I’m fine,” he breathed out quickly, not wanting to see you cry. “It’s okay, darlin’... I’m here.”

You sobbed with a dazzling smile, your beautiful eyes dancing across his features before you darted forward and pressed your lips to his firmly. Joel could almost taste the desperation and worry in your shaky breaths and tears that fell from your eyes and onto his tongue. He wanted to tangle his fingers in your hair and bring you in closer, but a sudden, sharp pain pierced his arm when he tried to move it, and he hissed into your mouth.

“Sorry,” you whispered and moved away quickly, letting out a broken laugh and brushing the unruly strands of hair away from his forehead. “I’m just so happy you’re okay.”

Joel wanted to ask what exactly had happened while he was out, but before he got a chance, you leaned in again and started softly peppering his face in kisses – first his cheek, then his forehead, then the tip of his nose and his chin. And Joel didn’t have the heart to stop you.

And that’s how Ellie found you both. She gagged when she saw the display of affection, but there was a grin on her face when he looked over at her.

“Gross,” she scrunched her nose. “But I’m glad to see you awake.”

“Yeah, well, I still feel pretty shitty,” he grunted, scanning the kid for any injuries, but she didn’t look any worse for the wear. His eyes strayed to your neck again, and the concern came back double-barreled. “What happened to you, sweetheart? Where–”

“I’ll… go get the doctor.” You stood up abruptly before he could finish, and looked over at Ellie. “Will you stay with him?”

“Yeah. Sure.” The teen shrugged, but now was avoiding Joel’s eyes, and he felt more uneasy and agitated by the second.

“Okay. Be right back, love. Gonna grab you some water, too.” You squeezed his hand and smiled. Joel’s eyes escorted you, and when he made sure you were out of the earshot, he turned to Ellie.

“What happened?”

“Well.” The teen blew out her cheeks and went to take a seat you previously occupied. “You were attacked during the patrol…”

“Yeah, no, that I remember,” Joel interrupted quietly. “They shot me, took me to that ski resort. But how am I here? Did she…”

He trailed off. Ellie looked at the curtain you disappeared behind, then back at Joel. “Listen, I wasn’t there, so m’not sure,” she mumbled quietly. “But after she and Tommy got you out, she was sorta… different.”

“Different how?” he asked sharply. Ellie bit the inside of her cheek, looking away. “Ellie.”

“I don’t know, okay?” she answered in a sudden burst. “She looked like hell. You saw her neck, I think someone tried to choke her, and she had an ugly cut on her leg, a fuckton of cuts and bruises… And the doctor spent hours getting all the glass shards out of her.”

Joel got up as much as he could, feeling a pit of anxiety rising in his chest. Ellie was silent for a while before she spoke again, this time surprisingly softly.

“Remember when you beat the shit out of that soldier when we were escaping QZ in Boston?” Joel nodded slightly – she did, too. “Yeah. She had a similar… kind of look on her face, and it looked… not exactly scary, but alien.” The teen looked up. “My guess is she did some fucked up shit to get to you. Tommy said she’s been having real bad nightmares since then, but he doesn’t want to tell me–”

Ellie snapped her mouth shut at the sound of footsteps, and a few seconds later you emerged from behind the curtain. You had a tall glass of water in your hand and a small, hopeful smile that grew when your eyes fell on Joel’s face.

“I know you’d probably prefer something stronger, but water will do you good,” you said, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were just talking about you. Joel watched as you carefully sat down at the edge of his bed and put down the glass onto the table to his side. “One of the nurses will come here in a couple of minutes. You were unconscious for a couple of days so they want to make sure everything is okay.”

“I told you I’m fine, darlin’...”

“Please.” You gently took his hand in both of yours, staring at him with concern. “For me?”

Joel looked you over, his eyes lingering on your bruised neck and the bandage around your thigh which he didn’t notice before. Then he glanced at Ellie with worry, not knowing how to approach this problem or ask what exactly happened to you.

Your eyes were a little red and puffy, and he briefly thought about what the kid said: that you have had terrible nightmares, that apparently you went through some sort of hell to save him. It seemed that whatever you had done, it took its heavy toll on you. And he couldn’t bear it.

Joel hated the thought of you risking your life for him, of the experience branding you so deeply that you lost sleep because of it.

Because of him.

The only thing he could do right now was to be there for you. And maybe – just maybe, if he tried hard enough – to do something about those of your scars that he couldn’t see.

He lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it, keeping his eyes on yours the entire time.

“Okay,” came his soft answer, to which you smiled with relief. “Whatever you wish, darlin’.”

No snarky remark, no groaning or muttering could be heard from Ellie, and that worried Joel much more than he’d ever admit. He exchanged a worried look with her while you were distracted, drawing patterns on the back of his hand with tender fingers.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he heard you say quietly, though it was unclear whether you were talking to him or yourself.

Either way, Joel squeezed your hand tighter, now feeling oddly afraid of letting go.

“Yes, darlin’,” he confirmed in a soothing manner. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

#joel miller x reader #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #joel miller angst #joel tlou #tlou hbo #btw i tried to do some research on tranquilizers and anesthesia drugs but i didn't find anything clear so. everything you read is made up #i could have wrote it better but.. eh #it was challenging enough and i can't believe i've spent almost a month on it

[dulcesiabits]

umbra.

summary: You offer your blood to a wounded vampire in an alleyway, and now Ruggie can’t seem to leave you alone.

notes: 1.9k, fic, cw for violence, a short fic about Ruggie for @ridhearts​ fantastic vampire au!!

Ruggie hisses as he rips out a chunk of wood lodged in his shoulder, throwing it down the dim alley he’s currently hiding in. 

Stupid vampire hunters, thinking their stakes would be enough to take him. Those things were about as effective as a sharpened pencil, and yet the hunters never learned. It’s not like getting stabbed repeatedly was fun, though it was far easier to deal with than the other weapons the hunters liked to carry around.

As soon as Ruggie got his hands on whatever human thought it would be cute to try to sabotage their monthly exchange by ambushing the Savanaclaw coven with the hunters… well, he’s certain some of the more restless coven members would appreciate having a human to chase down and tear to pieces. Ever since they implemented the deal with the neighboring town, giving blood in exchange for residents no longer fearing leaving their houses after dark, some of the vampires had been complaining about how boring it was to no longer hunt--

Footsteps. Ruggie’s ears twitches as he sits up, wincing. He isn’t in any condition to deal with more threats, not with all his wounds. He hadn’t been able to kill all of the hunters, so have they come back to take him down for good...?

“Are you okay?”

A pair of worn sneakers stops right in front of him. Ruggie’s eyes trail up to meet your concerned face, and he relaxes when he realizes you’re just some nosy human.

“Just fine,” he jokes weakly. You’re peering at all his wounds, and the stake still lodged in his thigh. Your gaze lingers on his fangs in particular, glinting in the faint moonlight. Ah, shit. Maybe he could snap your neck before you alerted--

“Do you need blood?” In one fluid motion, you roll your shirt sleeve up to your elbow, baring your wrist in front of him. “You’re a vampire, right?”

Are you stupid? Ruggie bites back the retort. What sort of person just brazenly offers their wrist to a vampire? If he wasn’t so nice, he could just drain you dry and leave your corpse for the rats, did you consider that?

Besides, he doesn’t recognize you. Ruggie has made it a point to memorize all the residents in the local town, which makes their dealings go much more smoothly. Are you new? Or just a visitor? Either way, it’s more dangerous for someone from out of town to get involved.

He’s not in any position to argue, though. He’s weak, and far from any ally, and a stupidly kind human is far preferable than an aggressive one.

“...I can’t make any promises that you’ll be safe,” he says instead.

You shrug. “Sure. I know the risks.”

“So... why are you doing this? Kinda weird to trust a vampire you just met, if you ask me.”

You pause, twisting a bracelet around your wrist. “I couldn’t just leave you here. It would have felt... wrong.”

Oh, so you weren’t just kind, you were also a bleeding heart. Lucky for him, at least.

Ruggie hesitates, before taking your wrist and bringing it close to his lips, his fangs grazing over your vein. You shiver, but simply incline your head. You never look away the whole time, your eyes boring into his own.

You’re strange, which is maybe why Ruggie impulsively kisses your wrist before he bites down as carefully as he can, first blood drawn.

---

It’s been a week since Ruggie last saw you.

After that night, he had staggered to his feet and left, and the two of you went your separate ways. It’s bothered him since, the fact that you helped him for nothing in exchange, and now it’s like he owes you.

Maybe you’ve already skipped out on town, gone back to whatever place you came from. Or maybe you got into some sort of trouble. Should he have walked you home that night? Anyone out that late should have known the dangers, but...

Ruggie has too much to worry about already. You were just a weird human, and there were plenty of those around. Still his thoughts drift to you, unbidden.

One evening out on town, he finally sees you again, carrying around a bag of groceries at the night market. Ruggie can’t believe his luck; he’s already running up to you before he knows what he’s doing.

“Hey,” he says.

“Oh! Hi,” you say, shifting the bags in your arms. “You’re that vampire that was bleeding in the alley.”

What a great first impression he gave you. “Do you need help with that?”

You shake your head. “No, it’s okay! I don’t want to bother you.”

You walk farther down the road, but Ruggie follows you.

Every two weeks or so, the humans in town gather together, stringing up lights and setting up stalls around a dusty plaza. You could find anything from homegrown vegetables and pots of jellies and jams, to handcrafted necklaces and watercolor paintings by local artists.

Those were just from the human vendors, though. Sometimes an enterprising vampire would discreetly set up a stall and sell blood, magical artifacts, or the odd trinket. It’s an unspoken neutral area, where both humans and vampires mingle without fear.

“Do you need anything else?” Ruggie persists. “I could help you bargain, if you want. I’m pretty good at that.”

“Can you just answer one question for me?”

“Sure.”

“Why do you want to help me?” you ask. “It’s not like you owe me anything.”

So you say, but he did. Bargaining and carrying your groceries were nothing compared to what you did for him, but it would go some way to filling the debt he owed you. That way, in the future, you couldn’t use it as a bargaining chip against him.

“...You helped me, so I want to help you. Is that so weird?” he says.

You tilt your head again, considering his words. “It’s not weird, but... okay, why not? Here.” You shove your groceries at him. “Why don’t you help me get some good deals? I just moved here, so I don’t know where I should shop.”

“Easy! You’re never gonna get better deals than you will tonight,” he boasts, and you slip your arm around his free one. Ruggie tries not to let his surprise show as the two of you walk along.

It even feels sort of nice.

---

It’s weird how easy it is to talk to you.

Whenever he has any free time, Ruggie spends it with you. Following you around town, showing you all the hidden paths and secluded stores. Pointing out residents, telling funny stories about them or their families. Taking walks in the park, feeding the stray cats that laze in the sun.

Part of it is that he doesn’t want to owe you, and it never hurt to be friendly with the humans in town so they don’t do stupid things like call the hunters on him. But the other part of it is that he likes you. A lot.

You touch him so casually, too, and never seem to give it a second thought. Grabbing his hand to lead him somewhere, linking arms as you stroll, leaning your head on his shoulder when you’re tired. Most of the humans he dealt with were afraid of him, so he’s not used to this, not at all. But it feels good, sometimes, how affectionate you are. Ruggie hasn’t been alive in centuries, but your hands are so warm it makes him forget.

Recently, you’ve been inviting him to come over to your apartment, where the two of you will just watch movies or TV shows to pass the time.

“I was approached by the hunters today,” you say casually, feet crossed on your couch.

“What? Why would they do that?” Ruggie asks, more focused on you than the movie.

“Because I’m ‘closely involved with the local coven,’ they said. Someone told them I’m friends with you, and I have a history of making friends with vampires, so I’m suspicious, I guess.”

“You have?” It makes sense if you’ve known other vampires in the past. It would explain why you were so casual with him, why you let him drink your blood that night without a second thought. Human and vampires having relationships isn’t particularly rare, so... why did it bother him so much?

“Oh, yeah. I used to live in the Heartslabyul area. I used to run around a lot with these two vampires, Ace and Deuce. I don’t know if you’ve heard of them? I had to move because of my job, but I’ve been meaning to go back to visit.”

“Ace and Deuce,” Ruggie says slowly, trying to dig through his memory. “Yeah. I’ve heard of them. They’re notorious troublemakers, right?”

You laugh. “No more than you are! Man, we had some good times together.”

“Do you want to move back there? To the Heartslabyul area?”

“Hmm. I mean, I miss my friends, but I like it here a lot. I mean, I got to meet you!”

Ruggie clears his throat. How could he respond to that? “So... when you say you were friends with those two. Did that mean, you know...”

“Did that mean...?” you prompt him to continue.

“Did they ever drink your blood?” he asks bluntly.

“Not really. Ace acts like he’s too cool to beg a human for blood, and Deuce is still a fledgling, so he hasn’t bit his first human yet. We just talked, hung out... mostly the same things I do with you.” You pause. “Are you asking because you want blood right now?”

Your couch is so small that your knees are touching his. If Ruggie turns and leans closer, he could kiss you.

“What? No. But...”

“But?”

The movie plays on, but he isn’t paying attention to it anymore. He doubts you are, either.

“You know how the coven’s made deals with the local townspeople? They supply us their blood, and we don’t hunt them?”

“Er... are you saying I need to join in...?”

“Nah. It’s nothing like that. I’m asking if...”

“Oh! You want to be the only one to feed on me?” you prompt. “And you’ll only feed on me in return?”

“Yeah, something like that. It wouldn’t be too bad, you know? I’m pretty close to the coven’s leader, so none of the other vampires would bother you, and if the hunters try to mess with you again, you can tell me and I’d get them to back off--”

“Ruggie,” you say firmly. “You don’t need to justify anything! I’ve seen some Heartslabyul vampires enter relationships like that with humans, so I know how it goes. I mean, I wouldn’t even accept if it was anyone else, but since it’s you, I’d love to.”

"Then... Why don’t we make it official right now?”

You move to roll up your sleeve again, but he grabs your wrist to stop you. Ruggie traces a pulse point on your neck with a finger, looking at you with a silent question. You nod, pulling the neck of your shirt down so he can have better access.

There’s no impulse this time as he kisses your neck gently, a balm to sooth you before the sting of his bite. It’s something to mark your relationship, too, and Ruggie will let you choose whatever name you want to call it. He’s not picky, not as long as it means the two of you are tied together.

He wraps his arms around your waist to hold you steady before he bites. You taste a little like salvation to him. As Ruggie drinks, he wonders what you’d think if he asks you to become a vampire, so he could stay by your side forever.

#liya writes #twisted wonderland #ruggie bucchi #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #twst ruggie #ruggie bucchi x reader #vamp au #im so sorry.... this is so self indulgent....... #even more so than usual.... im looking away.......

[bots-and-cons]

Hello! Tfp optimus, ratchet and ultra magnus reaction to a reader that can see the future. As in we warn them of an attack or a trap or an outcome of a plan and it ends up happening exactly as we say every time. Thanks!

I did HCs, kind of a ramble maybe, but it’s kinda late so I don’t really have the energy for much else and I just wanted to write something

~Ultra Magnus~

•He just straight up didn’t believe it when you told him you could see the future

•He thought it was some strange human joke he didn’t understand

•Magnus also thought it was hazardous, because if someone were to take your word as fact they might believe they couldn’t get injured if you told them they would return unhurt and they would get reckless

•Of course Magnus thinks Bumblebee and Smokescreen are already needlessly reckless so he especially doesn’t want them believing anything you say

•But when you get proven right again and again, Magnus starts to think that maybe you’re not a fraud, maybe you’re a traitor, because you know when the cons are going to ambush someone and when and where the attacks are going to happen

•He doesn’t outright accuse you, but he does start keeping an even keener eye on you

•But it just seems to go beyond that, because you seem to know things you couldn’t possibly know even if you were getting intel from the cons

•And why would you try to warn the autobots if you were a traitor

•He just doesn’t want to believe such an ability exists, because it doesn’t make any sense to him

•But eventually he has no choice but to start believing what you’re telling him and the others

•When he finally starts taking you seriously, he actually notices you’re helping him and the others stay safe

~Optimus Prime~

•Optimus wants to believe you, but it just doesn’t seem very probable

•He does pay attention to what you say though, he sort of keeps it at the back of his mind and he stars noticing you seem to be right a lot

•Like suspiciously much

•So he can’t really deny that you are seeing the future

•He’s pretty interested in how it works, because he’s never encountered anything like this

•Like do you only see bad things? Can you see the future when you want to or is it kinda random? Does it drain you?

•It does cause you some pretty intense migraines, especially if you try to force your visions, but you don’t really tell Optimus that because you want to help the autobots

•You warn them all the time of danger and it ends up saving a lot of lives, resources and time

•It’s not like you can prevent all the bad stuff from happening and sometimes even though you warn the bots they have to go on missions anyway or can’t change the way they have to do something

~Ratchet~

•Ratchet wasn’t exactly ecstatic when you told him you saw something bad happening to Optimus

•He asks why you would say something like that, and that it’s not funny

•You assure him that it’s not meant to be funny and that you can sometimes see bad things before they happen

•But when it happens and Optimus gets hurt in the exact way you said, Ratchet confronts you after treating Optimus and asks how in the name of Primus you could know that

•You repeat the same thing you said before, but Ratchet is still a bit skeptical, even though the evidence is literally right in front of him

•But eventually he starts asking you about if you’ve seen something bad happening before just about every mission

•He starts trusting what you say about your visions and you become sort of like danger meter for the autobots

•While Ratchet doesn’t want you to hurt yourself, he might still sometimes push you to try and see something if you haven’t had a vision about a mission

•It causes you migraines and it’s all around not a pleasant experience when you try to force your visions, but Ratchet is way too worried about the team to not ask you about it

•Of course if you don’t see anything, that’s a sign too

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #autobots #optimus prime #ratchet #ultra magnus #tfp headcanons #reader insert #platonic transformers x reader

[lgbtqasacrew]

PLSPLSPLSPLSPLS CAN I HAVE A TOOTH ROTTINGLY FLUFFLY HURT/COMFORT FIC WITH STEDDYHANDS X READER

Reader gets pretty messed up mentally and physically after getting kidnapped by the British navy and they all comfort them and patch them up??? Either he/him or they/them pronouns if possible 🩷🩷🩷

Summary: Coping with the aftermath of being held captive by the British Navy, your partners do their best to look after you

Relationships: Steddyhands x Reader

Word count: 2.7k+

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries, hand wavey pirate medical care, brief mentions of suicidal ideation, mentions of panic attacks and nightmares

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I kinda got carried away with this one oops, I hope there’s enough fluff in there, I got quite into the hurt/comfort part. They/them pronouns for reader

Stede carried you to the captain’s cabin carefully, scared of hurting you further. Ed and Izzy not far behind, Izzy barking some orders at a worried looking crew before slamming the door behind him. You jump at the sudden noise, taking you back to your time in the cell. Stede held you closer, pressing a kiss into your hair, whispering sweet nothings to try and calm you down.

“Sorry” Izzy apologised, chastising himself for making things worse.

You couldn’t help the whimper you let out when Stede lowered you onto the bed you share with all three of your loves. “I’m sorry, darling” Stede apologised, you were quick to assure him it’s not his fault. He was taking such tender care of minding your injuries but they all hurt so much.

One you’re laid onto the sheets, all three men were gently removing your clothes to inspect your injuries. Izzy walked away, your heart ached at the idea of not being near him, but he soon returned, arms full of medical supplies. You suspected that he’d grabbed everything that’s on the ship. Although you felt bad that they were so worried about you, you had to admit it was nice to be cared for.

“Shit Y/N” Izzy exclaimed as he removed your shirt. Your entire torso was covered in bright red cuts from the cat they’d used to torture you. You’d been captured on shore leave, you’d only left your partners sides to get some fresh air. Next thing you know you’re ambushed and taken to a prison owned by the British Navy. Their intentions to torture you to get to Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate.

“Oh my darling” Stede cooed, pressing kisses into your hair

“Stede help them sit up for a minute” Izzy asks. Your back matched your front, possibly even worse, ugly raised cuts covering your skin.

“At least we’re matching now Iz” you tried to joke, he humoured you with a huff, offering a small smile that left his lips the moment you looked away again. Izzy and Ed gently work on your back, cleaning it with such tender care, Stede sat beside you holding your hand the whole time.

You hear sniffling beside you to find tears sliding down Stede’s cheeks, it breaks your heart. “I’m sorry”

“What are you sorry for darling?” he asks

“You’re crying because of me”

“Oh honey” he wiped the tears away with the hand not holding yours “I’m upset to see you hurt but it’s not your fault”

“But I wasn’t careful enough, got myself captured like an idiot”

You felt comforting fingers combing through your hair, you somehow knew it’s Izzy, he’s always loved playing with your hair. “It wasn’t your fault love” Ed says “we’re the ones that left you alone”

“I shouldn’t need babysitting” you sulked

“That’s not what Ed means, sweetheart” Stede assured you “it’s just safer if you’re not alone, it’s the same for all of us”

“Yeah next time we’re there we’ll stick together” Ed adds

Shit, you hadn’t considered that one day you might have to return there, the idea made you feel sick. “We don’t really have to go back there, do we?” you could feel your heartbeat rising, your palms suddenly becoming increasingly sweaty.

The three men look at each other, distressed by your sudden panic. “No darling, I’m sure we can avoid going back” Stede says, looking to Ed for backup

“Yeah, there’s plenty of other places we can go, don’t worry about it love” lightly squeezing your shoulder.

“Right your back is all done dear” Izzy says “shall we help you lean back again” They help you lean back against the pillows, it’s painful but you think you’d be in pain no matter how you laid. They do the same for the wounds on your front as you just lay there, mostly staring at nothing. Stede must notice you zoning out as he gives your hand another squeeze, you look to him as he gives you what is probably meant to be a reassuring smile.

They checked the rest of your body, massaging your wrists where they’d been bound for hours, they were so sore, really every part of your body was sore. Once they were sure every injury had been tended to properly, Ed and Izzy awkwardly hovered near you, wanting to comfort you so badly but scared they’d somehow make it all worse.

You took Izzy’s hand, rubbing circles in the back of it. “Join us?” you asked, looking between the two men.

“Are you sure love? We don’t wanna hurt you” Ed replied

“Just do as Y/N says” Stede backs you up, already shuffling closer to the window to make room. They helped you move over until you’re in Stede’s arms, the feel of Stede’s broad chest against your back is a comfort. Izzy slides in next to you with Ed close behind, being surrounded by your partners is pure bliss after the past few days. For the first time in what feels like ages, your body finally lets you rest.

You awoke with a jolt to someone screaming, wait it’s you that’s screaming. You had a nightmare, back in that navy cell as soldier after soldier would come in to torture you as they pleased, as you begged for them to stop and they’d just laugh in your face. Your screaming had of course woken all three men who were wrapped around you but you couldn’t even register them talking as your ears were ringing and your body felt like it was on fire.

One of your partners must have touched your arm to try and comfort you, but to your muddled brain it was a navy soldier wanting to hurt you. You struggled out of their grasp, shooting out of the bed in search of safety.

All three men looked at each other, not sure what just happened, wanting to go comfort you but not wanting to make things worse. Stede, who had been the one to touch you, felt terrible, all he had wanted to do was provide some comfort, he hadn’t wanted to scare you.

“It's not you love” Ed tries to assure him “they woke up screaming, must’ve been having a nightmare, they probably didn’t even know where they were” Logically Stede knew what Ed was saying made sense, but he couldn’t help the hurt he felt when you’d recoiled from his touch.

“What if they don’t want to be with us anymore?”

“I don’t think it’s that” Izzy replied “Y/N has been through a lot, we just have to be there for them”

Stede found you in the auxiliary wardrobe hidden under his golden robe, he had to admit it warmed his heart that you had found safety in an item of his. But he was more worried about you, how small you looked, distress etched into every feature on your tear streaked face.

He approached you in a similar way that you’d approach a scared animal, kneeling in front of you but leaving some space between, not risking touching you again yet. Your brain was clearer now, you were mostly just embarrassed by your outburst. “I’m sorry” your voice so small, it was only audible due to the close proximity.

“Oh darling, you have nothing to be sorry for” Stede assured you “I’m sorry for scaring you back there”

“No” you shake your head, it wasn’t his fault, it’s your fucked up brain. “You didn’t do anything”

He nods in understanding. “I’m assuming you had a nightmare, do you want to talk about it?”

The idea of talking about any of it in that moment seemed impossible, your heart beating faster just at the idea. Another sob tore through you as you shook your head. “I’m sorry, I can’t”

He offered you a small smile “That’s okay dear, Y/N would it be okay if I touched you?”

You didn’t respond with words, instead launching yourself onto him, he took this as permission, wrapping his arms around you, rubbing your back as you cried. “Shh, I’ve got you, I’ve got you my love”

Once your sobs had subsided, he led you back to the bed where Ed and Izzy were waiting for you. You immediately jumped into Ed’s arms, burying your face in his chest, the comforting scent of lavender helping to calm you down. “Shh love you’re safe here, we’ve got you” rocking you gently as it you were a baby, it was actually quite comforting.

You were too scared to go back to sleep that night, worried that the nightmares would return as soon as you closed your eyes. “Stede?”

“Yes darling?”

“Will you read to me?”

He smiled at that, one of his favourite things to do is read to his partners, or anyone for that matter. All four of you settled back into bed, Stede had picked a book of fairytales. You laid your head on Stede’s shoulder so you could see the illustrations, Ed curled around your other side, mindful of your injuries, whilst Izzy laid next to him curled around Ed. Eventually you did find yourself drifting off to sleep again, lulled by the sound of Stede’s voice.

Your stomach turned at the sight of breakfast, Stede had asked Roach to put on a full spread for your first morning back, it was a lovely gesture. But you’d been on reduced rations your whole time in the cell, your stomach had shrunk and eating just felt overwhelming to you.

You nibbled on a croissant hoping it wouldn’t be too much for your stomach to handle, all three of your partners watched you as you ate. You knew they were just concerned but it was kinda off putting, plus it was easily going to give away your lack of appetite.

“Why don’t you have some toast and marmalade?” Stede offered.

“I’m fine thanks babe”

“They’ve barely eaten” Izzy interjects, he sounded angry but you knew he was just concerned about you.

“Izzy” Ed warns

“They need to eat Ed, i’m sure those twats barely fed them”

“Izzy’s right, they could get really ill” Stede adds

Whilst the men were discussing you like you weren’t even there, you found yourself bursting into tears. Once again you were burdening the men you loved the most, you wondered if it had been better if you’d died in that cell. Yes they would’ve been upset but they had each other, now they had to worry about you too.

Stede, who was sitting opposite you, was the first one to notice your tears, immediately running over to comfort you. “Oh my darling” brushing away your tears with his thumb. “I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have been talking about you as if you’re not here”

“It’s not your fault i’m so broken”

“Hey, you are in no way broken” he reassured you

“Stede I can’t even eat a stupid croissant without bursting into tears and now you’re all worried about me”

“It’s only because we love you”

“You don’t have to”

Ed’s head snapped up at that “What?”

“You don’t have to be with me anymore, just drop me off at the nearest port, or even just push me over the side of the ship, everyone would be better off”

Your partners stared at you with wide eyes, shocked that you could say such a thing. Izzy couldn’t take it anymore, you cringed at the sound of his chair scraping against the floor as he stood up, storming off and slamming the door behind him. He wasn’t angry with you, he was furious at himself, he had sworn to protect you and failed, and now you were asking them to throw you overboard. Ed followed him after him whilst Stede stayed to comfort you, guiding you over to the sofa so you could cuddle.

“How about a bath darling? I always find them really relaxing”

It was nice to be able to wash off all the grime, it hadn’t exactly been clean in that cell.

Once the bath had been filled with warm water, Stede guided you to the tub, helping you undress without aggravating your injuries too much. The water was soothing even if it made your cuts sting, it was nice to be clean again after so long. Your eyes closed as Stede gently cleaned your skin, it was soothing to be so cared for after everything that’s happened.

“Does Izzy hate me?” You asked him, worrying about why he had stormed out at breakfast.

“What? No darling, he’s just worried about you like we all are”

“I don’t mean to worry everyone”

“I know love, none of this is your fault, we just want to help you”

“What if I- what if I can’t be helped”

“Oh honey, it’s going to be okay, you have us, and the crew and we all love you and want to help you, okay?” You nodded, maybe Stede was right, they’re your family, maybe they can help you to heal. He takes extra care as he washes the dirt and sweat out of your hair, having clean hair again feels amazing.

You’re resting with Stede on the sofa when Ed and Izzy re-enter the cabin, both men look like they’ve been crying which makes your heart sink, knowing it was probably because of you.

“Iz has something to say” Ed nudged his partner forward

“I- um, I wanted to apologise for storming out”

“It’s fine Iz” you promise him “I know you just needed some time” Ok part of you had been convinced that Izzy was angry at you, but deep down you knew he sometimes needed that time alone to think.

“I just wish there was something I could do”

“Iz love, just having you three here with me is enough”

“Hmm” He wasn’t convinced, he’s used to being in control of a situation, he in no way blames you but everything now feels out of whack and he doesn’t know what to do.

You held your hands out gesturing for him to come closer, once he’s in front of him you held his hands in yours. “I mean it Iz, as long as I have you three I’ll be okay” He nodded, a stray tear falling down his cheek, he knew he would be there for you, whatever you needed. He joined you on the sofa, sitting on the other side, whilst Ed sat next to Stede. You had no idea how long you all stayed like that but frankly you didn’t care.

Over the next few weeks you were slowly recovering, your appetite getting a little better day by day, but you were still occasionally plagued by nightmares and there was that constant nagging fear that it would happen again. You knew you wouldn’t survive it a second time.

It didn’t escape anyone’s notice that you were constantly stuck to the side of at least one of your partners at any given time. Once there was an incident where Stede had left you for a second with Jim and Olu and you started freaking out, he definitely didn’t make that mistake again.

You felt pathetic, but even the thought of being apart from them again, albeit even just in another room, was too much to bear. No one ever commented on it, it was just this unspoken new normal for the ship, where your partners were, you weren’t far behind. They were of course worried about you but were happy that you felt comforted by their presence, plus they had to admit it was comforting to them to know you were safe.

This was fine until the ship was raided, meaning you got separated from your partners, you ended up fleeing to one of the secret rooms. As soon as the raid was over they start to panic about where you’d gone, luckily Lucius had seen you flee and points them in the right direction.

They find you curled up in the corner of one of the smallest rooms, this doesn’t dissuade them from joining you though. It’s a tight fit, what with two of your partners being around six foot, but it’s actually quite comforting to be so close.

They don’t say anything, just huddled close, your breaths mingling in the small space. You still had a long way to go but you knew you’d never have to cope alone.

#ofmd fanfic #ofmd x reader #ofmd #steddyhands #steddyhands x reader #stede x reader #blackbeard x reader #izzy hands x reader

[venerawrites]

Hi! I'm so excited you're writing for Naruto 🥰 So many blogs don't really write for it anymore, so I'm so grateful 🫶🏻 Could I please request Kakashi x fem reader angst, where reader and Kakashi are in an established relationship, maybe even married, but they get ambushed on a mission and reader sacrifices herself to save him? I really love Kakashi and I'm in an angsty kinda mood. Anyway thank you so much, I hope this is okay. Have a nice day! ❤️

author's note: I'm so sorry this took ages to write! I keep slipping in and out of angsty mood, so it did take longer than expected! x anyway, I really hope you enjoy it, and thank you so much for requesting! <3

warnings: mentions of death, blood, alcohol abuse

Never mix personal life with your professional duties.

This was one of the most important rules of the shinobi world. They have tried to drill this mantra into your heads since your early teenage years and kept repeating it every so often, just in case you forget.

Growing up, it was easy to follow this principle - all of your friends were civilians and you weren't particularly close with anyone from the academy, so you lived your life in peace, knowing that you don't have to worry about the people you loved and cared about.

Little did you know, however, that a certain white-haired shinobi would change that in your adulthood...

You heard of Kakashi in your early academy days. Being three years older than you and already an ANBU, your knowledge about him was based only on the rumours that kept circling the village about his past and the unfortunate death of his teammates. But it wasn't till he became a Jonin sensei, that you had the chance to meet him for the first time.

You did not have a team to lead on your own, but due to your hard work and devotion to the kids in the academy, you were often sent to help with their training and low-level missions. Team 7 was often the one needing the most help since it not only consisted of the stubborn and grumpy last survivor of the Uchiha clan, but also the hyper-energetic and mischievous 9 tails Jinchuriki.

Naturally, you and Kakashi became close. Having to supervise and protect a group of highly intelligent, stubborn, and, often, reckless genins proved to be a good enough reason for you to form some from of a friendship.

It did take a couple of years for love to blossom between you. With him being occupied primarily with the training of young ninjas and ensuring the safety of the Hidden Leaf Village, romance was not one of the things on his list of priorities. And at the time he was fine with this - you can't miss something that you never had.

But the more you matured, the more you gravitated towards each other. You worked so well together, that you started to be regularly paired for missions excluding his students. Soon after, you started to spend time outside work together. Before you knew it, you became partners in more sense than once.

And the more time passed, the more blurry the line between work and pleasure became... to the point that one single mistake changed everything.

It was a peaceful night when it happened. A day away from Konoha, you, Guy, and Kakashi were resting on your way back from delivering the sealed scrolls containing information about the next Chunin exams to Suna. You had found a small cave, tucked deep in the forest, and decided it was the perfect place to hide not only from any potential attacks, but also from the raging rain outside.

"C'mon!", you nudged Kakashi's shoulder with your own, before throwing one look at sleeping Guy and turning back to your lover, "He is deep asleep, he won't hear a thing."

The white-haired ninja gave you a stern look, but the little smile that formed on his covered lips betrayed his real mood. Moving his focus on the fire before you, he poked the burning wood with a stick, before mumbling:

"One more reason to stay still and alert", he pointed out, giving you a playful side glance, "We are supposed to be on guard."

Rolling your eyes, you let out a childish puff and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

"Guard from what? The owls?", you whined, before nudging him one more time, "C'mon, Kakashi! One kiss is all I am asking for! I haven't kissed you in like... weeks!"

"We have been away only for a few days", he lifted his brow in amusement, before leaning towards you, "And I am pretty sure you managed to steal yourself a kiss this morning. Your math is awfully bad, little dove."

You opened your mouth to respond, but quickly closed it after no good comeback came to your mind. It was true that you last shared a kiss this morning and you did exaggerate a bit about the time that has passed since then, but can anyone blame you? You were deep in your honeymoon phase when all you could think about was your lover and the feeling of his lips against yours... And making it worse, was the fact that he purposefully took with him that rich and smoky smelling perfume, that was driving you insane.

"Kakashi!", you whined his name, giving him a pleading look. Tilting his head to the side, he let out a chuckle, before carefully pulling his mask down, exposing his beautiful face.

Slowly leaning towards you, he maintained eye contact, before pressing his slightly chapped lips against yours. Immediately fluttering your eyes close, your hands found their way behind your neck, pressing his face closer toward you. Letting out a contempt sigh, you leaned to your right, giving you a better angle to keep up with the sensual dance your mouths indulged in.

After a few seconds, he pulled away, pressing the cold metal of his headband against your forehead. His breath was heavy and he gave himself a minute, calming his wildly beating heart.

"Happy, little dove?"

A wide smile stretched on your face and you eagerly nodded your head, about to respond, when you suddenly got interrupted by the loud sound of a kunai landing right above your head. Both you and Kakashi, immediately jumped from your places, your hands already reaching for your own weapons, while you shouted to Guy to wake up.

Your attackers quickly filled the cave and they visibly outnumbered you, leaving you to fight two of them each. You knew Kakashi and Guy could handle themselves, they were one of the most skillful shinobi in Konoha, after all. Yet the moment you saw one of the ninjas sneaking behind your lover's back with a sword raised high in the air, your feet suddenly had a mind of their own. You dodged a punch aimed at your face, but rather than fighting back, your body threw itself behind Kakashi, a piercing scream leaving your lips once the blade went through your stomach.

The world around the white-haired ninja abruptly stopped.

All the shouting, the sound of clashing weapons, Guy's screams for him to focus... the moment he fell your body crashing against his, it was all silence. His arms instinctively wrapped around you, protecting you from falling on the rocky ground, while his knees gave up under him. One of his hands immediately moved towards your wound, trying his best to stop the bleeding, while his other one found its way towards your face.

Kakashi's fingers shakily moved towards your forehead, moving away the few damp pieces of hair sticking to your skin. Tracing the side of your cheek, he didn't even notice he was crying, till a few teardrops fell down onto your skin. Your eyes, which were also glossy, stared at him and your lips moved, trying to say something, but the only thing that came out was blood.

"Shh, don't talk", Kakashi choked out, pressing his fingers against your mouth. Finally gaining the courage to look down, all the breath left his body once he saw how much blood you were losing, despite his best attempts to stop the bleeding.

"We have to get you to the village the fastest way possible", he muttered with a shaking voice, his arms sneaking under your body in order to lift you. You moaned from pain at the contact, using the last bit of energy to grab one of his wrists.

"N-no...", you whispered, a hefty amount of blood dripping from the corner of your mouth, "Hel-.. He.. Help Guy..."

Hearing the name of your teammate, Kakashi finally remembered you were not alone, and his head whipped around only to find the other male continuing the fight all by himself. His rough posture and scratches covering all over his face were showing he would not last long and Kakashi immediately felt his chest tightening.

He knew he had to join in and help him, but how could he leave you all alone, bleeding to your death?

Almost as if you were reading his mind, you weakly squeezed the wrist in your hold:

"Go...", you muttered, your lips twitching into a small, sad smile, "I... I will... b-be... f-fine."

"Little dove, don't... I... Why...", Kakashi cried out, not sure how to finish this sentence. Grasping your face with his hands, he pressed his mouth against yours, ignoring the metallic taste that immediately washed over his senses once your blood touched his tongue. His tears were now freely falling from his eyes and he could not hold his sobs back any longer.

Your lips weakly moved against his for a minute, before you had to sharply take a breath. Your consciousness was slowly slipping away and your gaze was now cloudy, unable to focus on one particular thing. You felt coldness slowly making its way through your limbs, bringing a strangely welcoming feeling of numbness and peace. Despite your vision getting blurry, your head tilted to the side, the outline of your lover's face still clear.

"I.. I love y-you", you breathed out, one final tear making its way from the corner of your eye. Kakashi carefully caught it with his thumb, his head violently shaking from side to side.

"No, no, no!", he kept repeating, his voice cracking, "Please just... please just stay with me!"

Your stare remained unmoving and it took a few seconds for the white-haired ninja to realize that your breathing had stopped as well.

It was too late...

you were gone.

Dozens of feelings washed over the Leaf shinobi at the same time. Pain. Sadness. Rage. Shock.

With an angry scream, he pressed your now limp body against him, while one of his hands moved to move his headband away from his face, showing his already glowing Sharingan.

The fight lasted a few minutes afterward, maybe even less. Fuelled by his raw pain, Kakashi did not hold himself back, slaying all of the enemy ninjas one by one. Soon the ground was crimson red and the only remaining sound was the white-haired man rigid breathing and the sound of the rain, which kept pouring outside the cave.

"Kakashi...", Guy carefully said, his gaze moving to your already cold body which rested in the corner of the cave. He bit his lip, unsure what to say, choosing instead to remain still and quiet. He couldn't control himself, however, once Kakashi's heavy breathing turned into sobs again, and he wrapped his arms around his friend.

"I am sorry...", the black-haired man sighed, a shaky breath leaving his lips as well. His own eyes started to tear up and he tried his best to blink them away, a poor attempt to remain strong for your lover, who was already falling apart in his arms.

The next few hours they spent in silence, with Guy guarding the entrance, while Kakashi held your cold hand in his own, his eyes staring at your face like he hoped you were just in a deep sleep and would wake up any moment.

Or perhaps, he was hoping that he was the one dreaming and that once the sun rose high in the sky, he would wake up, finding your smiling face nested comfortably between his neck and shoulder...

But that never happened. Instead, the hours kept passing with him frozen in his place next to you, till Guy gently laid his hand on his back, telling him it was time to go. With one last kiss on your cold forehead, Kakashi took off his jacket and laid it carefully over your body, before scooping it in his arms.

Leaving the cave, his eyes kept staring ahead, his expression now unreadable. The memories of you, that kept flashing before his eyes during the whole night, were now pushed at the back of his brain, while only one though kept occupying his mind:

Never mix personal life with your professional duties.

He failed to do that.

Again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tsk, how sad!", the man behind Kakashi muttered under his breath, "I bet he is spending his whole pay on drinks again!"

The woman next to him shushed him, hitting him on the shoulder while doing so.

"Be quiet!", she scolded, "He will hear you!"

The man scoffed, his eyes not moving from the white-haired ninja before him, who kept calmly putting his shopping away, without even glancing in their direction.

"Well, let him hear! Because it is pathetic, it's what it is!", he grumbled, making sure to speak as loudly as he could, "One of our best ninjas turned alcoholic... Look at him! He doesn't even look like himself anymore!"

Years ago Kakashi would have turned around and silenced them just with a glare. But now... he had no more energy for that.

Because they didn't understand and would never be able to understand what he had gone through. They would never have to bear the burden of having someone else's blood on their hands, neither would they experience the feeling of guilt that would tear their soul apart, a constant reminder that they could not protect the ones they loved.

So why would he bother explaining to them that the only reason why he had to be under the influence, was because this was the only way to feel close to you again? The only way to silence the voices inside his head, which kept reminding him how it was him who was supposed to be dead, not you?

Instead of replying, he just grabbed his bag and exited the shop. He walked hurriedly towards his house, eager to open the bottle of sake he just bought and mute the feeling of missing you, that kept breaking his heart every single time he was completely sober.

"Kakashi!", Guy's voice sounded somewhere behind him, and his step halted for a bit, turning around. His friend gave him a little smile, which immediately fell, once his eyes fell on the neck bottle which poked out of Kakashi's bag. It was not easy to watch one of your best friends falling deeper and deeper into a hole, refusing any of your help.

The white-haired man suddenly felt small, almost embarrassed by the look the other male gave him. But instead of waiting, the moment he saw him walking towards him, he just turned around and almost sprinted back to his house.

Closing the door, he let out a breath, he didn't even know he was holding. Kicking his shoes aside, he made his way towards the kitchen and took out the piece of bread and the few bottles of alcohol he had brought earlier. Opening one of them, he didn't even bother to grab a glass, before he made his way towards the bedroom and sat down against his pillows.

Grabbing the picture of you that he kept on the bedside table, he gently traced your smile with his thumb, before taking a sip of his drink. The burning sensation in his throat was irritating, but it was nothing compared to the burning feeling inside his chest.

"We will be together soon, little dove...", he smiled sadly, "I promise."

cc artwork: concept art for "Wheel of Time"

#kakashi hatake #kakashi x reader #kakashi imagines #kakashi fanfiction #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #kakashi angst

[bubble-dream-inc]

Lemniscate (the place between sleeping and awake)

a chance encounter with your superior during a very lonely holiday season leads to an interesting conversation and an insight on yours and Ghost’s relationship.

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

rbs greatly appreciated!

WC: 4,8k

a/n: i had to repost this bc tumblr was being fussy and hiding it oops. also i was listening to so handsome hello by woodkid while writing this so there’s my song rec for the day. i am down bad for this man someone help me! thank u loml @deafeningcat for being the best beta reader ever, always <3

warnings: explicit talk about death, war, trauma and violence, suggestive, profanity, ghost being ooc, sex as a coping mechanism for ptsd, heavy antimilitarism, angst to fluff, slight prey and size kink if you squint, non intentional liverpool slander, reader is part of 141, soap calls you "bonnie" once but otherwise no gender especified for reader, reader thinks they can fix him and is sorta emotionally dependent so its kinda toxic idk, intentional repeating of words, christmas/holidays ambience. MDNI

The puddles rippled under your boots, and right there under the faint street light which reflected the light drizzle of rain darkening the already pitch black night sky, you remembered how much you hate the holidays. Sure, it felt nice not having to worry that much about being ambushed or shot or killed for once, but you’d be lying if you said you looked forward to having time off from work. Having spent the last few years constantly living on edge, running solely on the primal instinct of survival for weeks on end had you addicted to the adrenaline, and you forgot what it’s like to be completely at ease a long time ago. 

You felt your skin dampen under your clothes in the humid air. You haven’t bothered with an umbrella; you have been through worse. Liverpool was never your cup of tea, the sky was too gray and the wind felt like tiny needles attacking your skin on the rare occasion it wasn’t raining, and in moments like these you missed the scorching summer sun from your hometown. But again, could you really call it home? That thought had been lingering in the back of your head as an ugly reminder of one of the shittiest parts of your job ever since a few days ago when the base you were stationed in was filled with the sound of rambunctious laughter and the smell of cheap cigarettes and beer, all of it a reflect of a mission well done. The intel was useful, the danger was dealt with, and your teammates could not be more grateful the timing was just right so that they could go spend some time off with their families for the holidays. You weren’t really thinking too hard about it, too absorbed in your teasing banter with Gaz, until Soap turned to you.

“What about you, bonnie? Where ya spendin’ your holidays at? Going home?”

You had shaken your head no with a chuckle, swallowing the bad taste the word home left in your mouth and masking your discomfort. Having all their attention on you as your team mates waited for your answer wasn’t inherently bad, but you did have to ignore Simon’s piercing stare from across the group, focusing only on Soap and trying to not give in to your instinct of looking back at your Lieutenant. As the years went by, you’d found out that was just the way that he was, and you had to learn how to differentiate when he actually wanted for someone to be scared by his constant, terrifying eye contact, and when to know he was simply looking in your general vicinity. Not that it worked that well, of course, since just his massive presence and the low timbre of his voice could make anyone’s fight or flight instinct blare sirens in their head, and yet, at some point you realized you liked it. You felt like a prey under his gaze, and the fact that it both terrified and excited you was intoxicating. 

“Nah. I’m heading to Liverpool, i think, as usual” 

Being in Liverpool for you was far from pleasant, but a few years before you decided to go there for your time off just because it was closer to the base you were stationed in and you had nowhere else to go, and it became a tradition, even if it sometimes felt like self punishment. It certainly seemed like it, you thought as you wandered aimlessly through a quieter part of the city, occasionally passing through a group of tipsy barely-of-age kids, or a happy looking family going back to the comfort of their cozy homes together. It made your chest ache, but the loneliness got duller after so much time being surrounded only by the 141 members and having to watch so many people you knew die on the front lines. 

“Do you regret it? Joining the military?”

You had asked Ghost one day after you two had to get holed up in a dingy safe house, trying to pass the time while waiting for exfil. He had stared at you for a few seconds, silently, and you wondered if you had crossed a line by asking something way too personal, but in a moment he was back to staring at the worn out coffee table in front of the couch you were in. 

“No. I did what had to be done at the time.” 

While somewhat cryptic, you accepted his answer without prying for more, but after a few seconds he looked back at you, not going unnoticed how his eyes looked a bit more tired than usual. 

“Do you?”

You remember sighing.

“Everyday. War is hell.” 

He only hummed in response, putting an end to the conversation that had barely been started, but your mind dwelled on your answer. It seemed like ages ago when you were a starry-eyed private, having been fooled by the military propaganda promising you’d be a hero, but that resolve quickly broke a few months later in your first mission, and you certainly didn’t feel like a hero after taking someone else’s life for the first time. 

Lost in thought as you walked, you almost paid no mind to the man in your path that was leaning towards a lamp post and having a cigarette, if not for the fact that even from a distance you could see he was massive. There was only one person you knew that seemed as tall as that, and that was your-

“Lieutenant?” You squinted, being pretty sure you couldn’t mistake your towering 6’4 masked superior over someone else, and he acknowledged you with a look. If he was surprised to see you, he didn't show it. “Liverpool sure is tiny, huh? I thought you were from Manchester.”

“I am.”

His answers were rarely something other than short and dry, and he knew you knew better than to pry into his own personal reasonings, even because you also had no real reason to stick around that city and yet there you were. Still, the laidback-ish atmosphere of being between missions made it easier for you to act a little more daring than usual, treading lightly as you questioned him, unable to hold back your curiosity. Alas, you found yourself hypnotized by the way Simon’s full lips wrapped around his cigarette as he took a slow drag, waiting for you to say something.

“Heading somewhere?” Your voice sounded foreign even to yourself, and you didn’t know whether to blame the cold, the awkwardness of feeling like you were bothering your superior on his time off, or the way just being by his general vicinity made your chest ache with a feeling you hadn’t quite been able to name yet, but you shrugged all of it off and focused on trying to act as normally as possible.

“Not really. Are you?”

“Not really” You mimicked his words, smiling faintly and wanting to imagine that you actually saw mirth in his eyes. “Lookin’ for a pub that’s still open, but I'm not having too much luck with it.” You paused, unable to stop the next words that came out of your mouth. “Care to join me?”

Ghost pondered your bold request for a moment before putting out his cigarette by stepping on it and nodding with his head for you to lead the way. His way of communicating with so little words made you uneasy at first, but nowadays you’d find it endearing. 

And that’s how you ended up in a beaten up looking pub near the port, sitting side by side with Simon by the bar, acutely aware of the bartender eyeing you two warily. You weren’t sure if he was angry for the fact that the bar actually had customers, which meant he couldn’t go enjoy time off at home, or if he was intimidated by Ghost. Maybe both. It was an otherwise cozy little pub, the warm lighting and the low ceiling made you feel slightly comforted by your surroundings, even if there were only three other customers around and the air smelled of burnt oil and deep fried food. You tapped your fingers on the wooden surface of the bar while waiting for the grumpy bartender to bring your beer, comfortable with the silence between you and Simon. When it arrived, you watched with a side eye, trying to be discreet, as he raised his mask slightly to take a sip of his bourbon, even if you knew he had noticed you.

Ghost’s face was somewhat familiar to you. Less than his body, admittedly.

There were a handful of times you had seen him without his mask, but you had barely committed its features to memory since it had mostly been in the dark confines of his quarters - which made you think how nice it must be to have a rank high enough to have your own room - and in times where staring at his face was not the first thing on your mind. It didn’t matter anyway, knowing he really was handsome after all under the balaclava didn’t change how your chest would tighten at the sight of him way before you dreamt of seeing his whole face.

Being alone with your superior was hardly foreign at this point, after so many years and everything you had been through together, and while you had never said it directly to him, his company was enjoyable. You remember clearly; It had happened the first time during mid summer after a mission gone particularly wrong in Somalia. One hour in the shower later, scrubbing your skin raw, you still felt dirty and grimy, as if you believed you could let go along with the blood-dirtied water the screams of all the civilians you had heard and the image ingrained into your brain of all the innocent people lying dead on the streets, massacred without a second thought. You tried showering, smoking, drinking, going for a walk, talking to your fellow team mates - all of them who looked just about as shaken as you were - but nothing could get your mind off of it. Mid walk, you had rounded a corner inside the base and locked eyes with Ghost, who was coming from the opposite direction, and, for reasons unknown, something instantly changed in the air between you. Sure, you had flirted a bit and perhaps given some indication of your attraction towards him before, but at that moment maybe you looked more distraught than you thought, and in only a split second after the very sudden eye contact, a non-verbal agreement was set, and quickly you found yourself glued to his broad chest, his hand lifting his mask just enough so you could connect your lips in a messy and aggressive kiss as he guided you to the door of his room. There’s no way to tell how long you were there for, but as you felt him blindly in the dark to hug his neck while he was inside you for the nth time, you were grateful he didn’t comment on your sobs that you now allowed to flow as freely as your tears, and, in turn, you didn’t comment on how tender your huge, scary superior could be, holding your face gently and whispering praises, comforting you the best he could. 

It became something akin of a habit. At first it was just fucking to destress or to not have to deal in a proper way with all the trauma that came with your line of work, but then you started to linger. His touches became gentler, his big hands would stroke your skin instead of just gripping it hard enough to bruise, and you found yourself staring at his strong and scarred back one morning as he slept somewhat soundly beside you. Your hands itched to trace them, and at the moment you decided you wouldn’t mind sharing a bed, literally, with your superior more often, it was when you also realized you were fucked. To the others, surely it looked just like a very unethical and paperwork-worthy sexual tension, but you weren’t stupid, and not a teenager anymore, so you couldn’t find any excuses for the lingering glances and touches, how you started worrying more for him in battlefield, and you didn’t know if it was comforting or terrifying for you to think that he probably realized what was going on inside your head whenever he looked back at you, even if his hardened and unreadable gaze never faltered. Some nights, you’d find yourself alone in your cot wondering if you were imagining it all or if the longing you felt for his reciprocity was too delusional, and the thought made your throat ache in the worst way possible. You knew it was a bad idea, but you were unable to restrain yourself from finding your way back to his bed more often than not - and whenever he’d open the door for you when the base was already dead silent, realizing he also seemed glad to see you made all of your rational thoughts go out the window. 

“Quit the starin’.” 

Oh. Right. You were still looking at him. You muttered out a low sorry and looked down at your cup, well aware of Simon’s gaze burning holes into your face. So much for not staring.

“Why don’t you ever go home?”

There’s that word again. You wondered if your experience with feeling so stateless after fleeing from the place you used to call your own such a long time ago was that uncommon between soldiers, and suddenly the beer in your tongue didn’t taste that bitter anymore. 

“It was just a place like any other. I’m afraid there hasn’t been anythin’ for me there in a while, so i guess i don’t really got one anymore.” 

But again, you did wonder why Simon was all the way over to Liverpool and not Manchester, and a part of you selfishly hoped you weren’t alone with the gut wrenching feeling of not belonging anywhere but your base. Not that he’d ever admit to something like that. Simon was not the kind of man to say his thoughts clearly, or with words, for that matter.

“No family? Friends?” 

Chuckling dryly, you’d let yourself linger a bit longer on Ghost’s sudden interest in actually knowing you more than physically if his bluntness didn’t amuse you in a bitter way.

“People realize really quickly how hard it is to keep relationships with someone who’s gone for months on end, and could very well be dead in a ditch the next time you try to call. Can’t say I blame ‘em.”

Simon said nothing in response, but his gaze on you seemed to soften a bit. Experiencing him outside of the battlefield was the kind of thing that would surely give you whiplash, years of military experience and living through horrors beyond comprehension would, of course, make him have a dangerous and reserved aura 24/7, but watching him let loose just a little bit and allow himself to be minimally vulnerable through his gaze and casually, softer spoken words were a new sort of fascinating. He was never the kind of person to ask things out of politeness, no, he was brazen and direct, so his genuine curiosity in you made it difficult to calm your already palpitating heartbeat. 

Under the lights of a very dimly lit pub in East Liverpool, you were seeing not Ghost, not your Lieutenant, but only Simon Riley. You came to the conclusion you really liked this side of him. So, you decided to take your chances and prod a little bit more.

“What about you, Lieutenant? Where is home for you?”

“Classified.”

You chuckled, and a tiny, barely-there smirk formed on his lips before he hid it with the rim of his bourbon glass. It was worth a try.

You lost track of how long you were sitting there, in silence, just listening to the static-ish audio of the shitty television on the corner of the bar or the idle chat of other patrons, occasionally muttering something to Ghost, but it all felt superficial. You wanted to jump him, to strip him bare, not of his clothes, but of all of him that was a façade, and lay down every word left unsaid. Maybe it was selfish, but you wanted him to let you care for him the way he cared for you. For every time he’d wordlessly patch up your wounds in a dirty alleyway, push you out of a sniper’s line of sight or bark orders for you to get to fucking safety, you wanted to help him through each nightmare (that he thought you didn’t notice it plagued his nights more often than not, leaving him restless the next day), and hold him close when the throes of carrying a whole team and an entire life of trauma on his back became too much to bear on his own. You felt like a fool, pining over a man who made no effort to hide how little he trusted people.

Soon enough, the pub grew quieter and more devoid of people, and at some point you and Ghost decided the bartender’s gaze was way too unwelcoming, as he clearly wanted to go home, so you wordlessly decided to go back to your aimless wandering. A few of your old army colleagues wouldn’t hesitate to pull off their military card to get what they wanted, whenever and however they wanted, but just the thought made your stomach turn in disgust. Your blood stained hands didn’t feel like the ones of a hero that deserved to be pampered. 

“Why are you still here anyway?”

He had asked you a few days after your conversation in that dingy safehouse. You had found yourself brushing shoulders side by side together after you went out for a smoke in the base, running into him leaned against a parked truck, lost in thought. For some reason, the question made you feel ashamed to meet his eyes, even if his tone wasn’t accusatory; just curious.

“I feel like it’s too late for me. I’ve seen too much. There’s nothing else I know how to do at this point.”

Your tongue felt like lead inside your mouth. A part of you longed for an early retirement so you could live a quiet and monotonous life somewhere in the countryside, but you also knew most people with your lifestyle wouldn’t live enough to see retirement.  Alas, deep inside you felt like it was impossible to not grow restless if you were to live a life free of the adrenaline you embraced as a vice. It felt hypocritical, suffering over the consequences of your own choices, but God knows you’d leave in a heartbeat if you weren’t already too far deep in. You’d suppose becoming a soldier had its good sides, though, even if just the idea of finding any comfort in your work made you uneasy. Surely you’d never have met the 141 otherwise and, consequently, made them your little dysfunctional found family. You’d hold onto that for the sake of your sanity. On your side, Ghost hummed, acknowledging what you were saying, and maybe you’d find he could relate to your feelings, somehow. 

“It’s difficult to let go of a whole life of violence.”

His words had stuck with you, as wise and cryptic in a way only he managed to pull it off.

Outside, the drizzle seemed to have gotten a bit stronger in the last few hours, but neither of you cared enough for it. It didn’t feel that bad compared to the storms that rained over you in open fields or the mud you’d have to crawl across to stay hidden sometimes. You’d feel pretty stupid if this little rain actually got you sick, but that was a worry for future you. It didn’t even cross your mind to ask Ghost if you were heading somewhere, you just followed him blindly, analyzing him in silence and noticing he looked good in civilian clothes, the plain black hoodie fitting him perfectly. From the little distance you walked besides him, you could notice he was smelling good, a mixture of cologne and his natural musk which you were already very well acquainted with.

The street was clearly in a commercial district, and it felt even quieter than the one you were before. All the stores were closed with only a faint night light illuminating a few of their interiors, and you appreciated the faint smell of the sea by being somewhat close to the port. 

You enjoyed the stillness of it all and the lack of people to make you jealous with their normal, happy lives. 

Subconsciously, you barely noticed that you ended up scooting even closer to Simon as you walked, happy he didn’t seem to mind it. 

Suddenly, he stopped mid-walk, and you became hyper aware of how much you were staring at him. God, you felt like a creep. After a second, he spoke in a murmur, not turning to look at you.

“Since when?”

You waited for him to elaborate what he meant, but it never came. Chuckling nervously, you peered up at him, confused.

“Since when…what?”

Finally, he turned to look at you with something indescribable in his eyes. It made you feel small, like he wanted to devour you, but it also made your heart leap in your chest, like he wanted to devour you. 

“I know how you feel about me. You’re not very subtle about it. I’m not bloody stupid, kid. ”

Your head snapped towards him at his harsh words, even if his low voice and gentle-ish tone didn’t quite reflect the true nature of them, but any witty reply you had died down once you saw how his eyes were downturned in unease.

Oh.

Oh.

You realized what he’s talking about, and turns out your late night musings were right - at least part of them. Simon leaves no opening to figure out by his body language what the bringing up of the topic means to him. Maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe he will reject you and reprimand you for being unprofessional (as if loving him was more unprofessional than fucking your superior). Maybe-

“I’m…not sure.” You admit, refusing to meet his steely gaze. “It just…happened. Stopped being just casual sex a while ago.”

His silence makes seconds feel like hours. You try to control your labored breathing by listening to the soft pitter-patter of the rain that’s back to drizzling on the store awning you’re both under. A part of you wishes the rain would suddenly get so strong it would break the awning and drag you away with the current from Simon’s soul-crushing silence. You feel stupid, foolish.

Fool, fool, fool-

He closes the distance between your bodies. Having never paid much detailed attention to the rare occasions when gloves didn’t adorn his hands outside the bedroom, you suddenly notice how much his palms feel a pleasant kind of rough and calloused when they don’t carry the intent of ravaging you, so big against your face as he gently cradles you. Of course, he knows you’re a soldier, not some porcelain doll to be easily broken, but God knows how much seeing him hold you as if you’re something precious makes your once-labored breathing come to a halt altogether. His eyes are soft, half lidded, and uncertain on you as he murmurs out sorrowfully.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, kid.”

For the first time ever, you feel like you’re the only person who’s ever seen Simon Riley look scared. You don’t know if he’s afraid of hurting you or the other way around.

Instinctively, your own hands gingerly go to the top of his in a light caress, and you fight against the urge to close your eyes and breathe in his musk as you lean into his touch. This up close he also smells faintly like cigarettes.  

“Maybe not.” You admit, and you hope he can notice the way you look up at him with hearts in your eyes and willing to wear your own on your sleeve. “But I want to find out.”

He doesn’t really smile - he almost never does - , but his gaze holds a promise in it, a vow. One of his hands leaves your face to hike up his mask, and you expect it to stop just below his nose, as always, but he keeps going until it rests on top of his dirty blonde hair, making your breath hitch once again. You were wrong about him; you didn’t need to strip him bare, no, you realize he’d do it for you if you asked. A long time ago you decided you didn’t give a shit about how his face looked, but you made sure to take a good look at him, finally committing his features to memory, acknowledging his trust in you and also how much you really were a fool by underestimating it before. The stubble on his jaw feels coarse under your fingertips, and you indulge yourself by lightly tracing the scar on his lip the way you wanted to do with all of his marks ever since that morning. It occurs to you that even when the hookups turned into something more, you had never seen him so vulnerable, and it sets an equally giddy and unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach, as if you were witnessing something you weren’t supposed to, but you weren’t about to question his resolve. Taking the reins - as he always does - his lips are on yours in an instant, and you swear you’d die happily at that instant.

The way he kisses you is something new, slow and passionate, as if trying to savor every piece of you at his pace and communicate what he doesn’t know how to put into words. You’d kissed before, sure, but it was always animalistic, an aggressive dance filled with wanton growls deep from his throat and your involuntary whines whenever he would bite your lip - a gazelle in the jaws of a lion - and in the occasions sex was tender, it was most likely because something bad had happened, and you’d hide your face in the crook of his neck so he could pretend not to notice how much you needed it - him -  to cope and how much his touch kept you grounded; you’d like to imagine yours made him feel something of the sorts as well. Simon Riley was not the type of man to engage in raw emotional affairs without getting something out of it. And yet, as you close your eyes to hug his neck, bringing his large body impossibly closer to yours, you feel like he is finally giving all of him to you in the rawest way he knows how to. Of course, you’re not teenagers, and with the way of life you lead, emotional attachment can make any soldier feel dreadful for their future, so it would be foolish to expect a full on love confession in the rain, but, if anything, you suddenly realize you can feel Simon’s heart beating fast on his chest through your own, and that is enough for you, making you smile against him. 

When you separate, there’s still minimal distance between you two, the air around you feels lighter, and you surround yourself in affection by the way Simon looks down at you adoringly. Any outsider would be quick to say he has the look of a stone cold predator, and he is as unreadable as they come, but once you start dealing with the true man under the mask - even if only figuratively -, you realize that his eyes are truly the window of his soul, and any words left unspoken you’d die to uncover are visible in his dark hues the moment he looks at you. A few blocks away, a clock tower strikes midnight and you spare the building a look from where you can see it.

“Merry Christmas, Simon.” You murmur, knowing full well religious holidays are neither yours or Simon’s thing. The irony of it all is lost when he huffs out a small noise of amusement and distances himself just enough to extend his arm for you to take, his gaze never leaving your form. You could point out he hasn’t really lowered his mask yet but you enjoy the view too much so you might as well indulge in it while he doesn’t remember to do so. His bicep is thick and strong under your fingers as you grip him gently, and he nods forward beyond the awning.

“It stopped raining. Let's get going.”

#i stayed up until 5 am yesterday writing this i hope y'all like it mwah #cod #cod mw22 #cod mwii #cod modern warfare #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #call of duty mwii #call of duty modern warfare 2 #simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley smut #ghost x reader #ghost smut #cod ghost #cod simon riley #cod smut #capy.writes