Shakespeare Plays as John Mulaney Quotes
I know this has been done many times but this has been sitting in my notes for years and I’m sharing it with the world
Hamlet- It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA
Macbeth- I didn’t do hard time. I think I got an award.
Winter’s Tale- No one talk to my wife!
Othello- I used to think “How could another person kill someone?” Then I got cheated on and thought “Oh, okay.”
Romeo and Juliet- You all remember being 12. Like “No one look at me or I’ll kill myself.”
King Lear- My parents loved us. They just didn’t like us.
Julius Caesar- Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?
Much Ado About Nothing- I am often wrong.
All’s Well that Ends Well- I am very small and I have no money. You can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.
Richard III- I didn’t kill my wife!
Henry VIII- I bet he did kill his wife.
Cleopatra and Antony- Can my girlfriend come?
The Comedy of Errors- Now we don’t have time to unpack all of that
The Taming of the Shrew- Marriage is gonna be very magical.
The Merchant of Venice- Don’t you dare clap for the worst financial decision I ever made
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