#kink education

[angel-in-your-basement]

Here’s the thing that some people don’t seem to understand about sex & kink. You have to respect boundaries before you get to push them. You have to show people they’re safe before you get to make them feel scared. You have to respect people before you get to degrade them. You have to be normal with people before you get to be dirty with them. You can’t be skipping steps. Treating them like a person always comes before treating them like a toy.

#and this is why you can’t just start domming or subbing to someone out of the blue #cala posts #kink education

[missbaphomet]

Why do radfems have this mindset that if they screech loudly enough at submissive kinky women they'll be like "oh you're right this IS abuse and not something I deliberately asked for and negotiated with my partner beforehand with a strict outline of what is and isn't ok AND with a single word either one of us can make it all stop instantly, thank you so much, you ovarian crusader"? If someone were to interrupt my scene I'd be fucking pissed, especially if it was for some fucking political agenda.

#baph bleats #radfem cope #pro kink #kink education #kink advocacy

[campgender]

Whenever a player safewords, this is an occasion for mutual support. We understand that nobody safewords from a happy place, and that all of our egos feel frail and kind of runty when we need to back out of a scene. It is completely unethical to respond with scorn or ridicule to a person who has safeworded: S/M is not a competition, we are not playing against each other.

As tops, we have noticed that if we are having a good time and our bottom safewords, our initial feelings may not be happy. Whaddaya mean you don't like that? I do all this work and you don't appreciate it? I'm hot for being in control and you want me to stop? We have felt real anger and felt challenged in our top role... and, on a deeper level, we have felt put down, hurt and rejected. It is okay to have these feelings. It is not okay to act on them. Take three deep breaths and everybody start taking care of each other.

Sometimes bottoms get so deeply engaged in a scene that they fail to safeword, or forget, or so profoundly believe in the fantasy that it doesn't occur to them: many of the techniques we play with, like interrogation, function in the real world to undermine volition. Dossie remembers a scene in which a top offered her a choice of something or other: "I felt very confused. Some distant part of me vaguely remembered having made choices, but the response from my state of consciousness at that time was, Choose? I am not a thing that chooses." So then what is the top's responsibility?

If a bottom does not safeword and you don't pick up on what's going on, and this will happen if you play long enough and well enough, there is no blame. However, it is still your responsibility to monitor for physical safety as best you can. As ethical tops we make a commitment to never knowingly harm our bottoms. To this end we check in regularly to make sure that things are going the way we think they are, and we constantly monitor the physical and emotional safety of our bottoms. If a bottom is beyond safewording, and you as the top feel unsure about how far you should go, it is your responsibility to slow down or stop the scene and get into communication with the bottom to make sure you have informed consent. If you have to bring the bottom back into reality to do this, please remember that you helped get them into that altered state in the first place, so presumably you can help get them back there again as soon as you are sure of what's going on.

And just because someone safeworded doesn't mean that the scene has to be over. There may be times when the problem that brought either of you to safeword is so overwhelming that carrying on doesn't feel like the right thing right now - but most often we find that after we've dealt with whatever the difficulty is, we're still terrifically turned on, with the added bonus of a shared intimacy.

from The New Topping Book (2003) by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

(note: the authors use ‘top’ & ‘bottom’ in the historical S/M sense, meaning ‘person performing the act’ & ‘person receiving the act’; the act in question is not necessarily penetration.)

#i am largely posting this to refer back to / expand on later but still totally okay to reblog if you want #kink education #the new topping book #quotes #mac’s bookshelf #why not take me now as i am? #impurity culture #tomorrow sexting will be good again

[ropesbypatricia]

Let's tie my favorite hip harness for self-suspension + the top vote of my recent diamond hip harness poll: The Diamond Back

This build is a sort of hybrid between a Swiss seat and a hip harness and it's my go-to for extended aerial play. It can be modified easily to accommodate different body shapes and sizes and it's an amalgamation of many different builds I've studied over the years from many great minds in rope

1-3) To begin, I will tie a single column tie (SCT) around my low waist - I can begin with my bight on either side of my body

*take note of which side your bight enters from*

4) I have secured my SCT in line with my belly button using a Somerville bowline, you make whatever SCT you prefer. I pull my SCT downward in a slight V shape

*whichever side of your body you started with your bight to build your SCT, that is the same direction we will begin tying our first leg wrap*

1) I make my first leg wrap nice and high running just beneath my butt cheek in the back

2) I friction over and behind my hip lines and my diagonal leg line exiting toward my crotch and approximately 1/2" from my SCT knot

*experiment with the placement of this friction for your individual comfort*

3) To adjust the tension in my leg wrap, I feed slack behind me with one hand and receive it in the front of my body with my other hand

4) I pull my working lines downward eliminating my transferred slack

5) I make a second wrap of my leg tracing below my first wrap

6) I friction up and over my leg lines, exiting toward the outside of my body

1) I equalize the tension in both my leg wraps and move over my inner leg wraps

2) I move behind my leg stem

3) And I move across my leg stem, ensuring I compact down all of my frictions

*you can see I've created another intentional upside-down V shape in the angle of my leg bands, and this will allow for more freedom of movement in my hip flexor*

4) I added another rope in another colour for clarity, and I mirrored my pattern on my other leg, exiting across my front and utop the last friction knot of my first leg to encourage it to stay nice and compacted

The next element we will build is a booty rope bridge which will capture both my leg wraps in a munter hitch

1) I run my line along the lower half of the space between my leg wraps and waist wraps all the way around my backside, and to the opposite side of the front of my body

2) I run my lines from tip to base of my finger, at the front of my body where I can better see what I'm doing

3) I shift my tensioned line back and under my butt cheek

4) I cut across my butt moving lower than my previous band

5) I move from tip to base of my finger again at the front of my body where it's easier to see what I'm doing

6) I slide that line back under my other butt cheek

7) I move up diagonally across both of my standing booty lines

8) I friction over and behind both lines exiting towards my crotch

9) to complete my munter hitch, I move my line from tip to base of finger again, exiting toward the front of my body

I take time to equalize the size of my booty bridge loops by adjusting my munter hitch, as well as flattening my leg wraps so they lay nice and flat like bands which will be much more comfortable when we take this harness into the air later

2) I move straight across the front of my harness running right above my previous pass

3) I continue to trace my previous wrap to the back

4) I make a simple twist around the top of my booty bridge friction moving my lines from tip of finger to base

5-6) I exit above my standing booty bridge band, pulling up slightly to maintain tension, exiting toward the front of my body

1) I added another scrap of rope in a third colour for clarity, and I continue the build by moving directly across the front of my harness again utop my previous pass

2) I make a half hitch (HH) around my booty band placing it in my natural gluteal divot

*experiment with placement of your HH here for individual comfort*

3) I tension my HH by pulling slightly upwards as I exit diagonally up toward my hip lines

4) I capture my hip lines with a simple twist, pulling downward into another slight V shape, I exit beneath my opposite booty band to create a mirrored HH on the other side of my butt

5-6) I maintain firm tension and pull these bands upwards slightly before completing my second HH and exiting toward the front of my body

1) Now we will perform a very tight weave and create a reverse half moons friction to incorporate our mid bands securely into our front harness bar. To begin, I move across the front of my harness running my lines above all of the previous passes

2) Weave from tip to base of finger

3) Continue behind the other side of my hip lines from tip to base of finger

4) I carefully cinch and compact the top of my half moons friction, careful not to overly tension my top midline pass as I cinch, and ensuring I don't accidentally nip up flesh or clothing in my ropes as I weave

5) I move over all of my midline bands, and under my leg stems following tip to base of finger

6) I carefully cinch and pull my working lines away from my flesh and leggings

7) continue behind my other leg stem moving my lines from tip to base of finger

8) I move over all of the midlines again, and back under my hip lines following tip to base of finger

9) With my half moons weave completed, all I need to do now is finish with my rope ends

1) You can finish your ends as you see fit, here I'm simply splitting my working ends and running one is them through my original SCT bight

2) half a square knot

3) the second half of a square knot

4-6) a look at the completed diamond back hip harness

Click here for a video guide to tying this harness as well as a look at how it maintains during transitions in suspension

If you give this build a go, I would love to hear about it! Feel free to tag me here or on any other platform we're grooving together on ❤️

Knots of love from me to you 💋🪢

#shibari #rope #self tie #rope tutorial #kink education #suspension #diamond harness #learning the ropes #hip harness #pictutorial

[captainslayahoe]

(Copied from my wattpad)

Today, we are gonna list the kinks that michael has and why he has them. im not gone lie, im giggling rn.

Michael Myers: Voyeurism, Knifekink, Maskkink, Asphyxiation kink, Size kink and possibly a blood kink.

Voyuerism: basically getting turned on by watching people get undressed or watching people have sex, usually without them knowing. this is honestly canon, i mean look at the movies.

Knifekink: the sexual attraction to blades, more commonly when they are being used on someone. For example, let's say michael was to hold a knife to your throat, or to cut your thigh. MIchael is no stranger to knives, and prefers them overall, so he would like to use them in bed as well.

Maskink: The sexual attraction to someone covering their face. For example: costume mask, medical mask, bandanas, ski mask, balaclavas, Motorcycle helmets, etc. We all know that Michael prefers to have his mask on, even if he doesn't have any real face deformities. even underneath his mask, his face is a blank slate, but he still has a very deep connection with his mask.

Asphyxiation kink: the sexual attraction to being choked or choking someone. Michael is no stranger to choking people. if a knife isn't available, he finds that his bare hands are a great substitute. Whether he gets any kind of arousal from doing this or not is for you to find out.

Size kink: The sexual attraction to someone notably taller, shorter, stronger, weaker, skinnier, or fatter than you. Michael myers is almost seven feet tall, which is significantly tall for a human. And let's be honest, he's got some big hands. Michael does enjoy being in power, and being that he's bigger, stronger, and taller than the average male, he stays in power. 

For example, Let's say Michael was to manhandle you and throw you over his shoulder like you're nothing but a pillow, or if he was to pin you down to the bed to assert any kind of dominance.

BONUS: he's into name moaning, just sayin'.

Blood kink: the sexual attraction to blood, either from bleeding, making someone bleed, playing in it, or consuming it. This plays into the knife kink. i don't think he would play in it or consume it, but the mere sight of it just gets him going.

#michael myers x reader #michael myers smut #michael myers headcanons #michael myers kinks #dark kinks #headcanon #education #kink education

[angel-in-your-basement]

For the love of god, praise and reassure your Dom after sex. I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve told a Dom they did a good job after sex and they’re like “???? Why are you saying that???” It’s INSANE. Aftercare goes both ways! Praise! Your! Dom! Tell them the specific things you liked! Tell them how hot they were! Tell them that you appreciate them taking control! It goes such a long way, trust me.

#this has been a psa #the post sex debrief is actually my fav #cala posts #kink education

[1-sadistic-lover-1sl]

“It makes no difference how Dominant you THINK you are. If she can’t trust you she won’t submit to you. Trust is the purest aphrodisiac. Show her she can trust you THEN prove she should submit to you”

♠️1-SL❤️

#oneliner #kink writing #d/s #1-sl & slk #d/s dynamic #kink education

[sorbetslxt]

What's a Sub-drop/Dom-drop?

Sub-drop/Dom-drop is a variety of symptoms (usually an emotional and/or physical low) some feel, that lasts anywhere from a few hours to a few days, caused by the endorphin high an extreme session gives you, slowly wearing off.

These drops can include things like depressive episodes, being overly sensitive, constant tiredness, feeling ill, etc. This is why so many people care a lot about aftercare, because a simple check in with your partner(s) can help combat these drops and make them not last as long.

#❥ educational post #kink education #sex safety #sub drop #dom drop #cw kink #bd/sm community #bd/sm education

[ropesbypatricia]

Rope Techniques ~ Tying without a partner

Here are a couple of tactics I have utilized in practicing shibari when I'm not able to work with a partner

First: Here's how I added "elbows" to my plastic mannequin to enable her to be placed into a gote or box position

The arms of my mannequin disconnect at the shoulders, so I started by removing them and then sawed them apart at the elbow

Next, I stuffed both open ends of the plastic arm halves with foam pool noodles I had on hand

I connected the stuffed arms by running bent lengths of wire hangers into the pool foam to act as a semi-adjustable joint

Finally, I wrapped and secured both new joints with a length of ace bandage and some duct tape - I dress my mannequin in a body suit so the rope has something to grip; the plastic mannequin skin lacks the toothsomeness of human flesh

Second: a simpler and very similar effect can be achieved for gote/tk practice without a mannequin. You can throw a hoodie over a full-backed chair, such as a kitchen chair, and stuff a rolled towel inside the joined arms of the hoodie as pictured below:

Sometimes we cannot tie with a partner. These pictures were taken during the COVID lockdowns, for example.

And while these inanimate accommodations cannot take the place of partnered learning, they have helped me to advance my understanding of patterns and builds and rope handling along the way and I hope they may be of use to some of you too!

*This is the mannequin I modified above which was gifted to me by my SO*

#shibari #rope techniques #partner free tying #tying without a partner #learning the ropes #mannequin #thoughts on rope #kink education #practice makes progress

[bamababygirl7]

🥰💞 When you think about CONSENT, think about FRIES!

CONSENT IS…

#bamababygirl7🥰💞 #queued #psa for the kink community #psa #this is sooooooo important!!! #consent #bd/sm kink #bd/sm community #kink education #bd/sm education

[divalamonstera]

Week routine

#creative #bd/sm kink #kink education #my art #trampling #casadei #h #dark academia