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patty-writes · 5 years

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yay another blog who writes for knb!! Can I have Kise having a crush on a girl who doesn't have trust in guys and think kise is the type to not get serious in a relationship and gets bored easily? Thank you so much c:

I mean, she’s not wrong, though.

→ Word count: 1,895

Spotting you in the college cafeteria wasn’t part of his plan (just like noticing how pretty the colour of your sweater suited your hair) and yet, it has quickly became a routine. Everyday, during the lunchtime, Kise Ryōta would wander to the cafeteria and involuntarily look for you—for the face which has been stuck in his mind for the last few days.

Tuesday wasn’t any different—or so he thought until you sat by the table next to his and acting as if he was nothing but the thin air, you began eating your lunch while chatting with friends. It was something so small and insignificant it shouldn’t have been the reason for experiencing a sleepless night, especially considering the photo session he had early in the morning.

“Your skin does look surprisingly dull today, Kise-kun,” stated the girl standing next to him, trying to apply the powder to his cheeks and eyeing him with a careful gaze, the one which allowed her to notice every single imperfection to cover with makeup. “Did you not sleep well?”

“It’s nothing,” he giggled and closed the eyes, feeling the relaxing touch of the soft brush on his skin. “I just had a lot of homework.”

“Homework?” It was hard to contain the laugh hearing such words from him. “I didn’t know you’re so hard-working outside of the job.”

“What can I say?” Kise peeked at her, giving her one of his most charming looks from under the fan of darkened eyelashes. “I’m full of surprises.”

In the end, all he could think about was you and despite his lack of natural interest in anything related to college, he had to admit that it was starting to get rather troublesome. Especially for his beauty.

“Wow, you really look like shit.”

Kise sent a lethal glare at his friend who only shrugged at his reaction and brought a ball of rice to his mouth.

Friday was the day which Kise has spent mostly on dwelling inside his own mind, lost in thoughts and fighting with himself whether it was or wasn’t a good moment to ask you out. He couldn’t recall the last time when he experienced such dilemma, since he could remember girls of all ages were longing for his attention, ripping the hair out of their rivals’ heads only to receive a single glance from him and the smile of his pearly white teeth. How could it be that right now, he was staring at the glass full of orange juice held in the hands and considering if he had a chance.

If he, Kise Ryōta had a chance! What a ridiculous turn of events.

It wasn’t the love-from-the-first-sight kind of thing, on the contrary, he was more than sure that he had missed your presence many times, passing by you on the college halls and not even realizing that you were here. It slowly started to change since the day he saw you sitting there, in the cafeteria, drinking some hot beverage and reading the notes from the lectures.

When he thought about it later, it was somehow inexplicable, the reason why did he even look at your direction remaining a mystery for him. You just were there, your aura drawing him so strongly as if you were shouting at him. And what annoyed him the most was the fact that you weren’t shouting at all. You weren’t even talking to him.

Hell, you weren’t paying the slighest amount of attention to him!

You had to know about his existence, there was no doubt about it. You were present during some matches he played (either by your own will or forced by friends, he couldn’t tell), you looked at him in the eyes when he accidentally brushed your arm on the crowded hallway and apologized after, you saw the magazine cover he was on, so he couldn’t understand—what was he doing wrong? Why weren’t you interested?

“Your princess is going out.” The statement brought him back to reality in an instant, chaotic gaze looking for you between the other students but you weren’t there anymore. “It really hit you hard, didn’t it?”

Kise drank a sip from his glass, wanting to save from time to answer his overly curious friend.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell you don’t. You’ve been staring at this girl for the whole two minutes straight, no wonder she left. And you weren’t even blinking, Kise-kun! Like some kind of creepy lizard or something…”

“Shut up,” he pouted crossing the arms over his chest.

“Why won’t you just ask her out?” The question sent shivers down his spine, the one and only question he was so afraid to hear. “I’m sure she won’t decline.”

And I’m not, Kise thought.

For the first time in years, he felt the unpleasant knot in the stomach, the one which appeared before the first casting, leaving the unspoken inquire in his subconsciousness: what if I’m not good enough?

Kise’s pride was built on the very strong foundations—or so he thought until you managed to shatter it to pieces with a barely few words. He knew his value, supported by the thousands of compliments he was receiving during his relatively short career as a model, he wasn’t self-conscious and, most importantly, he wasn’t afraid.

Fear didn’t paralyze him no matter how troublesome the sessions were, how many influential people he was meeting, how big the next challenges were. He could be considered as fearless in some way—a blind oaf in another, but either way, he managed to grow proud and successful. Certain that there was nothing he couldn’t do, nothing he couldn’t accomplish, nothing which could prevent him from achieving his goals.

Seemingly, nothing but winning your heart.

“I’m sorry but I don’t return your feelings.”

Kise was still standing in front of you, speechless and unable to move, completely not expecting this kind of answer. Well, maybe somewhere deep inside he was, but he was trying to convince himself that it was simply an unreasonable anxiety, nothing more, nothing less. Even in his worst nightmares he couldn’t imagine being treated this way, especially not after bringing you the prettiest sunflower he found in the shop and the cup of your favourite drink, especially not by you.

“Huh?” Was his first answer, not the most clever one but he couldn’t think of anything else.

Your eyes were absolutely mesmerizing, taking away his free will and the ability to think straight.

“I said, I don’t return your feelings,” you repeated, not sure whether he didn’t hear you or was just the personification of the stereotypical blonde model, full of perfectly carved muscles and the lack of brain.

“I-I heard what you said,” he smiled cheerfuly with no amount of happiness in the golden eyes. “I just wasn’t expecting that. But don’t worry! I’m not going to push you or anything, but can I ask you: why?”

You peeked at the girl who was passing by through the park, prehaps recognizing Kise and wondering whether you were his girlfriend.

“Because I don’t like you that way.”

“But why?”

You frowned. There was something about his current expression which reminded you of a golden retriver who has just been scolded. Contrary to the popular belief of him being always so confident, the image in front of you was now completely different. Kise wasn’t acting like a jerk, as you expected him to—he looked surprisingly and genuinely hurt.

“And why it’s so important for you?” you passed the buck. “You don’t even know me and there are plenty of other girls waiting in the line.”

“But I don’t want any other girls, I want you.” Kise immediately bit his tongue. “But not in a creepy lizard way, more like I-want-to-love-and-appreciate-you way. No awkward staring.”

“What are you talking about…?”

“I’m talking about my feelings! From the very beginning, I have been talking about it, because damn, I can’t sleep without thinking about you, I can’t eat without thinking about you, I just can’t stop thinking about you and you’re completely right saying that I don’t know you, I won’t deny. But the point is, I wish for nothing more than to get to know you better, to learn what do you like to do, what do you like to eat, what kind of music do you listen, what kind of movies does make you laugh.”

There was a short pause when Kise exhaled deeply, once again lost in the thoughts and wondering whether did he ruin everything by such an free statement.

“I want to see this precious smile of yours more often because you look the cutest then and it’d be even better if I could be the reason for your joy. I want to listen to your voice talking about your day, help to cheer you up when you’re feeling down and bring you flowers—the ones you really like the most because I’m still not sure whether the sunflower was the right choice but—”

“You’ll grow bored.”

The words you said hit him like a sharp slap on the cheek.

“You always do,” you added.

Denying you would be a lie and he had the honest intention to not lie to you. He knew he might have not been acting fair in the past but this time it was different and if he could only prove you that, he would do everything in his will to show you his devotion.

Without further explanation or waiting for his reaction, you turned on the heel and walked away, leaving him alone on the street, the paper cup in his hand not warming his skin anymore.

The sound of incoming message caused Kise to reach for his phone and unlock the screen only to notice the unknown person trying to communicate with him. He truly wasn’t in the mood for any flirts tonight, not after what he had heard from you and the worst part of that was that, he simply couldn’t do anything to change your mind. You wouldn’t believe him either way, considering it as another way of trying to win your heart only to step on it after few months or sooner.

But he would never, ever hurt you. The mere possibility of your crying face made the blood boil in his veins.

Eventually, he turned around so he was now laying on the stomach on his bed, bored gaze wandering through the icons on the phone until it reached the thumbnail from the incoming message which must have been… no, that’s impossible.

Kise sat up, opening the communicator and rushing to check whether it was truly you, your name and surname visible right next to the icon. He could feel himself sweating all of a sudden—and just after he took a shower!—the thoughts exploding in his head, creating dozens of possible scenarios of what could you want to tell him. Were you mad at him? Did you want to permanently dismiss him? Tell him to never approach you again? Or maybe, just maybe, have you made your mind up and…?

He took few deep breathes to calm himself down before mentally preparing for every possibility. He still couldn’t believe it, how did you manage to have such a huge power over him? Over his mind? Over his heart?

With the trembling fingers, Kise opened the message.

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