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#knb angst

Word Count: 1,819
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Akashi X Reader!Girlfriend
Summary: Akashi receives a package a day after a call.
NOTE: This was a request that was sent in a while back in my box. It’s not a freelance piece and you’ll understand why i didn’t do the usual q+ans post.

Since he started to take over his father’s business, Akashi had lost all his free time to it. He spent his mornings reading invoices; lunches checking his emails; and dinners alone in the dark, where only a sliver of light reached his spectacles as he massaged the bridge of his nose. The only thing that kept him from screaming at his frustration was his frequent lashes at those beneath him and the messages he got from you.

Akashi never felt as thankful as he did each day when he got a text message or a voice mail from you. You made him keep his sanity as he worked for days without rest; kept him grounded. There was never a day where he thought you were annoying, because to him you were his beloved, and nothing would ever change that.

Looking away from his screen for a second, he felt himself captivated by the picture he kept near another pile of folders. Holding the picture frame in his hand, he brushed the glass lovingly. There you were standing near him; a picture of the two of you from university. Your hair fixed in the usual hairstyle; your lips slightly open; eyes surprised. He chuckled quietly—Akashi had taken his hand away from your waist and let his fingers find yours before intertwining them.

You weren’t the type to show your affections outside, but being the man he is, he took advantage of it. He loved the way you looked when he took you by surprise. Loved the deer like characteristic of it and how your cheeks would turn into a pastel pink; the redness that would form right after you realized what happened.

He counted to himself quietly; realizing something. The warmth he felt receded as he was hit with the realization that he had not seen that for nearly four months. Four. Months.

Akashi felt his grasp around the frame loosen for a second. It hit his table, wobbling a bit before standing still.

Akashi had let you be alone for four months. He left you only memories of him and fading pictures of him in your life. As of right now, what was left of him in your life?

Before he could even pick up the phone to call you, he heard the familiar vibrate of his phone. Usually keeping it on silent, it only moved when he had mail. Typing in the passcode quickly, he turned on his phone, and tapped to his logs; dialing his voice mail to hear what was left for him.

‘Morning Seijuro!’ He smiled automatically. ‘I hope you had breakfast today, you didn’t forget again right?’ Murmuring a small no to himself, he listened on. ‘Seijuro I know you’re probably beating yourself over not seeing me for the past few months, but I did tell you it was fine. But…’

He heard you pause for a second as you took a shallow breath. That was quite odd. Akashi furrowed his eyebrows. ‘…Sorry I just got distracted, nothing that needs worrying.’

Did that meant he did need to worry? ‘As I was saying, can we go on a date this Thursday?’

What an odd day he thought and when he heard you say the very words himself, he chuckled.

‘I didn’t want to bother you, but I really…really…miss you. I don’t want to seem like I’m asking for much, but I can’t help it because I love you— ‘.  He narrowed his eyes as he heard loud noises suddenly appear in the background, cutting you off as you hung up. This didn’t sound like your home; it didn’t sound like anything recognizable from it.

Feeling himself move on his own, he stopped the voice mail and moved his hand around his phone quickly. Typing in your number and calling you. Why did you sound anxious? Why did those sounds seem familiar? Why was his heart pounding?

Hearing the call hit voice mail, he sighed loudly. Taking a quick look at the clock, he saw it was two. “Afternoon, Love. The date doesn’t bother me at all. There was no need to sound sad over such a little request that I myself would also have asked for. I’ll pick you up on Thursday at your home around six—about two days from now. See you soon.”

Gently placing the phone on his desk, Akashi couldn’t help but feel oddly nervous over your words. Something was wrong, but what was it? If something was up, you would tell him right? Shaking his head, he pressed a hand against his forehead. Perhaps this anxiety was over the thought of seeing you again after such a long time. Nervousness—yes it was because he was nervous he told himself.

Letting himself forget his sudden rush of emotions, he took a second glance at the phone again before getting back to work. Turning on his computer, he viewed the articles he needed to take care of; erasing the uneasiness he felt with the sense of relief that he was going to hold you once again.

But he wasn’t going to he soon realized.

His office was a mess as papers laid crumpled on the ground around him. All the invoices, the letters, the reports—meaningless in comparison to what was in the package he received. Akashi couldn’t breathe as he saw everything he ever gave you in a perfect array inside a cardboard box.

The dried roses he gave you on the first date had lost its essence; the sweetness that lingered before had faded. The ribbon he helped you wear laid still with the help of the weight of the promise ring he placed on your delicate hand a while ago. The photos you took together; neatly kept with a rubber band. Everything he had gifted you; everything that was sent to compensate for the smile he was given…it was all sent back.

Shakily reaching inside of it, he took out the small envelope inside. The scrawl of his name on the front; a little heart sticker holding it closed; he tore it open.

Unfolding the letter inside, he felt himself gulp. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving me for someone else _____….”

Dear Seijuro,

He read, his eyes slowly taking in your words.

If you’re reading this, I must’ve screwed up right? Haha, I didn’t mean to, I swear!
I wanted to say something that I didn’t have the courage to say a few months back. Something I didn’t get a chance to even bring up.
You see I was diagnosed with Ischemic Heart disease—Coronary Artery Disease to be more I guess specific.  My blood vessels narrowed suddenly during the end of our final year in university, but it was suppose to be fixable. 
It wasn’t.
It seemed that something like mine were far too complicated for any doctor to fix. So there it began my little downfall you can call it. But you were there for me without even knowing it and I felt even more anger towards myself.
I was grateful that you loved me, but I hated that I was making you love me, the me who was healthy. I hated that I couldn’t find the courage in myself to tell you to stop loving me, because that would ease your pain. But, being the selfish person I am, I let you love me. I took advantage of your love when really I was fixing you into the spot of feeling the most pain; probably even more pain than what I’m feeling right now.
But I guess not all great things can last right? Some part of me was glad you got caught up in your work to not notice because then I would see you less and then I could feel at ease that that was my punishment for being too greedy. 
So I endured it, the time lost from being with you got traded it for time spent in the hospital. The memories I had with you let me feel the bit of strength I kept losing. The voice mails I was able to send made me rest assure that I was helping you a bit even if I didn’t.
Seijuro…thank you for letting me love you and for letting me feel the warmth I was losing. Thank you for giving me something worth fighting for even if I wasn’t able to see your gaze again. Thank you for letting me be selfish for once.

His eyes blurred as he couldn’t read on. Akashi tried to make sense of everything as he desperately clung to your letter. Blindly, he ran his hand along each word and felt each deep scrawl in the lined paper. What were you doing when you were writing this? Were you in pain? Were you alone?

Akashi grew cold. Were you alone? He asked himself again. He felt all the air leave his lungs as he tried to stop himself from falling.

He let you be alone. He let you take the guilt. He let you suffer. Alone—all alone. Why were you thanking him when he was the selfish one for prioritizing his work over the love of his life? Why were you saying you were the selfish one?

“I’m the selfish one you idiot.” He whispered as he looked at the pile of photos. “I’M THE SELFISH ONE!”

Letting go of the letter, Akashi grabbed his head and held it hard. He ran his nails painfully down his scalp as tears fell down. It dampened his carpet; made it turn into a deeper shade of red.

It hit him all so suddenly as he began to mourn you. The familiar noises from the voice mail before were only familiar because he remembered the ones he heard from his mother’s bedside years back. The pause was because of your difficulty breathing as your heart couldn’t properly move the carbon dioxide away from your lungs. The sudden request was because you wanted to see him one last time.

Akashi wailed loudly as he realized what he lost. He couldn’t control himself as his heart screamed at the fact that he would never see your smile again. Felt himself break as he realized he would never see you ever again. He tried to wipe the constant trail of tears that continued to fall from his eyes. How could he have been so blind?

Clutching his chest, he crouched over the letter; protecting it as if it was truly you. It hurt all over. His world had come crashing down in this standstill of time—all that he worked for; believed in; all of it was lost.

But there was one thing that was eating away the little composure he had left as Akashi heard a door open from behind him.

He didn’t say ‘I love you’ in the voice mail he left for you.

image

Admin Nanacchi’s Note:
So if you guys are reading this after this quite brutal angst that i totally did not mean to write, i just wanted to say thank you guys for giving me nearly 1.5k of followers ;; ~ ;;. I was afraid that since my semi-hiatus there would be a lack of love for my small little writing haven. (but yay for my short reading week.
I don’t know why i feel so attached to this angst almost, but I do know a few things.
1) As much as i enjoy writing fluff and happiness I live to write something sad and idk why. This ask was randomly chosen and I got an idea instantly.
2) My friend whom I still love and care for passed away from this disease. I didn’t remember the name of it, but when I was searching for a ‘death sentencing disease’ it popped up and you don’t know how hard it was to write the letter after. A while back when this blog first started a friend had to post on my behalf to say i was not writing for a day because of a mishap. That mishap was that my friend’s tumblr had been q’d to send me and some other friends letters written by him. They were dated 3 years forward aka 3 years was last year in the summer when my friend knew we all grew up without him. 3 years where i finally reached his age and there’s not a day where I don’t read the letter over and over again. 
And why is this usually optimistic fanfic writer telling people who possible don’t care about this? well i guess this touched me a lot and i dont want to lose the fading existence that is my friend. That’s all.

Thanks for reading.

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nanachiiiiii make me sad please maybe a scenario with aomine having a fight with his s/o as shes about to tell him shes carrying his child in her belly and you know harsh words which leaves the s/o broken and they split up obv then years from now their path crosses once again and then happy ending please oh please

lord jesus christ idk this had been my writer’s block for the past week and idk what i just wrote nor do i even think its good ugHHH T - T SORRY BUT HERE YOU GO DEAR ;;;

-ADMIN NANACCHI

The moment the alcohol wore off and the pounding in his head subsided to a small thud, Aomine groaned loudly. He reached out for the hundredth time, trying to find the familiar heat that used to greet him in the mornings; that made him smile; only to feel the cold air hit his fingertips. Ignoring the urge to sigh yet again, Aomine sat up and stared lazily around the room.

The fact that you had been gone for years shouldn’t phase him-it shouldn’t even be in his mind. But, since the moment you left, his heart couldn’t stop throbbing. Aomine could care less about the fact he was going to be late for work today, because today was going to be one of those days he needed for himself. He needed time to reconcile; to accept that his life will continue being this way.

“Get a hold of yourself.” Aomine mumbled as he ran a hand through his bed hair. Getting up from his bed, he took a moment to stare at the photo near his side. Took in the smile you and him shared. The way your lips were formed in the photo; adorning the blush you had on your cheeks. He was captivated.

It was the same expression you had that day when you woke him up from his nap. The same smile, the same flushed cheeks-it was all there. But the moment he opened his eyes, he kissed his teeth; turning away in favor of getting more shut eye.

“Daiki.”

“I’m trying to sleep ____.” Aomine muttered, throwing his arm over his eyes to stop the light from hitting him.

“But it’s important!” He heard you whine. Groaning, he rolled his eyes and made no effort to move. “Aomine, please!”

“Leave me alone, you’re…”

“Annoying..” He whispered at the picture. Aomine had taken it with him and placed it across his kitchen counter. Leaning against it, coffee in hand, he took a sip. It was here where the two of you fought; where you forced him to sit down and took out a present from behind the kitchen, handing it to him.

“This is stupid.” He had said while shaking the box angrily. “Why would you even do something like this? It’s not even wrapped properly. I could be sleeping.”

Subconsciously, Aomine placed a hand over his cheek. He could remember how the slap to his face took him aback. The heavy breathing; the tears he couldn’t clear from your face; the smile he took for granted-gone and replaced.  It was a fight that he assumed would cost him nothing, but instead took everything he ever worked for. The effort he once made to make sure he made a good life for you and him became worthless. The home you once shared with him became a constant reminder that something was missing. The air itself became unbearable without the familiar scent you had.

Everything had fallen apart.

If someone had told him earlier not to act like a dumbass that chose sleep over his soulmate, than perhaps he would’ve chosen his words carefully. Perhaps he wouldn’t have ruined whatever gift you were giving to him. Perhaps Aomine wouldn’t be wallowing alone over what could’ve been.

Now as he left the apartment and began his walk to work, he could only feel the overwhelming grief of losing you.  For the fifteen minutes he took to walk past the rush of people, his legs felt heavy. It took all that Aomine had to move as regret ate at him.

As he made way towards the staircase to the subway, he noticed a woman having trouble taking her stroller down the stairs. Sighing loudly, he took the stroller away from the woman, and brought it down the steps as he went down himself. If he passed by the stroller and went to work, he would’ve felt guilty; better to feel accomplished rather than guilty and sad.

Aomine placed it to the side, letting the people behind him walk by. “There you go.” He said. Turning his attention to the side, he noticed the woman was nowhere near him. Aomine looked up the stairs and covered his eyes slightly, shielding them from the sun. “Oi, shouldn’t you be down here too?”  Frowning when he didn’t get a response, he took another look at the stroller and turned back to the top of the stairs. “Are you going to leave your kid down here alone or what?” A hint of annoyance laced in his tone. This was going to make him late for sure.

Readying himself to call out to the woman, again, he felt a sense of nostalgia hit him. As she walked down the stairs, he saw her hurriedly fix her hair to the point that it seemed like she was purposely hiding her face. Aomine heard a whisper; so quiet that he didn’t even realize she said something. But that wasn’t what caught his attention.

The scent of morning dew mixed with laces of light essences of lilies assaulted him. This was something he use to never get tired of. It was one of those things he wished he could do for the past few years; not like this but in a form of a hug-one where he could indulge himself in. “Hey..” He called out, reaching to grab the woman’s arm.

“Don’t touch me Daiki.” Aomine widened his eyes at the sound of his name. The lull of the syllables said out loud after so many years. Before he could even explain that he acted before he could think, he was faced with something he thought was out of his grasp. The longer hair that adorned the slightly chubbier cheeks; eyes that seemed to radiate anger towards him; it was you-an older you. Your fists were clenched as you breathed heavily. “Don’t touch anything that belongs to me.”

The joy he suddenly felt was erased by his sudden frustration. “Would it kill you to say thank you ____?”

“It would.”

Aomine scoffed. He imagined this moment for so long, but he didn’t expect it to be like this. He didn’t expect you to have matured more; to face him when you became much more beautiful; to have another man’s baby. Eyeing the stroller once again, he ran a hand through his hair angrily. “Unbelievable…”

“What?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Unbelievable that you’d have to face someone as annoying as me again or the fact that you just helped someone without them asking you to do so?”

“Are you trying to fight with me again ____?”

“I was trying to leave thank you very much.”

“What if I told you not to?”

“I’m still leaving,” You said as you tried to turn away from him.

“You’re acting like a kid ____.” Aomine growled as he kept a hand on your wrist.

“Stop calling me by my name.”

“Why? Do you like the guy who calls you it now?” He nodded towards the stroller. “How long did it take for him to give you that thing over there huh?”

“Shut up Daiki.” You said quietly.  

“Couldn’t wait to hop on to the next guy that showed you attention right ____?”

“Stop.”

“You probably were getting it from any guy that came near you after you left me.”Aomine continued; ignoring your small plea to stop. He couldn’t help the words coming out of his mouth-he felt jealous; envious; angry that someone other than him saw what he wanted to keep to himself. Aomine was furious at the thought of another man taking you as his. ”I thought I was crazy for sex, but you probably just bested me out of my own game after having to give birth to that bastard’s kid over there. Let me guess he hit it and ran right?” Aomine snorted when you didn’t say anything to him. “Wow, your baby’s daddy couldn’t even give you and his kid a ride to the local daycare either I’m guessing how pathetic. Here I was thinking I was the one at a lost.”

“Are you done?” Aomine blinked a couple of times before he finally looked at you. He felt like an asshole now as he saw how hard you were trying to hold your tears in. “That bastard you’re referring to, is you idiot.” You said shakily. Aomine froze, his expression turning from one filled with confusion to surprise. “What?”

“That baby’s dad is you so you’re the pathetic one dumbass. Now leave me alone.” You made a move towards the stroller, getting ready to run away, but this wasn’t going to happen again. No way were you running away from his life again. Even though Aomine was confused and not in the right state of mind, he forced himself to go to the stroller before you. He ignored the loud yelps of people he pushed aside; forgetting to apologize as he did so.

He shook a bit as he kneeled to take a look at the blue eyed boy in the stroller staring back at him. The resemblance to him was crazy; it made him want to yell out happily that he was a dad; but it made him also realize the responsibility he was going to take. “Is he really mine…?” Aomine stared at you as you avoided his gaze.

Getting up, he leaned over the stroller, and pushed your hair behind your ear. You made no move to avoid his touch as he wiped away a tear. “Oi, don’t cry.”

“It’s annoying I know.” You mumbled.

“It’s not.”  Aomine sighed. “I…can we just go somewhere to talk for a bit?” He saw the conflict in your eyes as you tried to find some kind of excuse to avoid him. He felt his palms sweat as he tried to think of the possibilities you would say to him to get away again-to leave him alone for the second time. But, at the sight of the slight nod you gave him; it filled him with so much happiness that he couldn’t fight the urge to pull you into his arms.

Despite you hitting his chest and the struggle you gave him, Aomine knew, this was the chance-a chance to not only apologize and step up, but a chance to have you.

And that was more than enough to calm the pain he held in his heart for the past years.  

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This is the Secret Santa gift for @magikatfish Merry Christmas, my dear! I’ve written two stories. One about Akashi and one about Takao. Both reader inserts. I wrote the Akashi one originally thinking it was going to be longer but I felt like it wasn’t enough. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, rest of the year, and have a beautiful New Year! Special thanks to @dailykiseki 

Keep reading

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Admin Nanacchi’s Note:
I should’ve been writing for a rq in the ask box, but after doing one ask and asking my dear bff Megan about where I would find Akashi (random q tbh) [admin megwara at o-haikyuuties] I was hit with this sudden need to write this. idk why and god knows what the hell i did but here you guys go!

Word Count: 590
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Akashi X Reader!Girlfriend
Summary: Ballet means the world to you. Akashi meant the world to you. 

Heart pounding, this was it.

This time-when everything seems to freeze- the incomprehensible feeling as the moment took your breath away. The feeling of being in the air; the way you felt away from the ground. The feeling of gravity pulling you down-it was amazing.

Each time you performed this move-jumping in the air on stage-it made you feel renewed. Ballet gave you this fleeting feeling-the longing to touch the air above you. The feeling of satisfaction flowing through your body as you heard nothing but silence in the crowd as they anticipated your landing that signalled the end of the play. The way they took a sharp intake of breath as they waited for you to reach the ground to twirl not once, but twice before bowing down to them, thanking them with a gesture for coming to the show.

For the past few weeks this was the moment you longed each night-a moment you wanted to share with him.  

You imagined this moment in time for the past few stages. You anticipated the look of awe on Akashi’s face, the love that you would feel as he would clap for you as you went across the stage with silent steps. You couldn’t wait for him to see you perform alongside with your friends.

Sitting in your dressing room you looked at the roses Akashi left you. A note saying good luck; a flash to the small kiss he gave you; the warmth of his hand as he held yours in his. It made you forget you were actually in air. The fleeting feeling, the love-it was enough to drive you away from reality. It enticed you to stay above it; to fight against the force trying to pull you down.

But of course, you could never avoid it. You could never ignore it.

But yet..you tried. And because you tried to forget and remained fixated on the warmth and escape you felt as you flew in the air, you lost it all.

The performance ended not with the claps of the audience but with a loud crack echoing through the theatre, It ended with cries of pain and panic, It ended with your ankle broken beyond repair-the doctor said.

You would walk he said; you would be okay he said; but you would never be able to do ballet again. How was that okay?

Resentment grew in your; anger you threw at Akashi; yelling words you’d instantly regret at him as he stood in front of you after bringing you back to the stage. He tried to make you happy since he knew you loved it there. He tried to stay strong and take care of your broken mentality; he tried but he couldn’t try anymore.

Sitting alone in the theatre you were hit with the onslaught of emotions you kept inside yourself. You were hit with the image of Akashi sitting in the front row; a smile turning into pure surprise and worry. An image of him that made you see a new light of him-one where you saw terror in the eyes.

This wasn’t the memory you wanted you screamed inside your head. Pulling your hair down you were forced to stare at the cast on your ankle.

You would never feel that feeling again. You would never be in the air again.

You would never be able to expect the joy and love from Akashi’s eyes as you came back from the jump.

And that broke you more than the shattered bones in your foot.

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What if Kise Ryouta broke up with his girlfriend, but later regretted it and tried to get back together with her?

You and Kise had been dating for the last three years, and you thought that your relationship was going strong. But two months ago he abruptly broke up with you. “I’m sorry. I just don’t feel the same spark I felt when we started dating. I hope you’ll meet someone better. I know it hurts now, and I’m sorry but it’ll get better.”

It didn’t sink in at first, until the next day when you read the headline, “KISE RYOUTA CONFIRMS 6-MONTH RELATIONSHIP WITH CAMPAIGN PARTNER”. He’d been cheating on you; that’s when you broke down sobbing.

The rest of that night had been a blur to you. Your phone had constantly been ringing with your friends tried to reach you, but you hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone. Through your tears you vaguely recalled your best friend Tetsuya, coming over and holding you tightly as you wailed and dissolved in tears.

Since then, you’ve spent several sleepless nights with a tub of your favorite ice cream, courtesy of Atsushi. The shattered pieces of your heart were on the mend, albeit the sting of his infidelity would probably always be there. Even just thinking about it made you flinch. But you were all cried out of tears, you had given him your best and if he didn’t value that then you wouldn’t give him anymore of your self, including your tears. Slowly but surely, you were moving on.

When you looked back a lot made sense. Towards the end of your relationship he had spent more nights at work or at his place, the two of you met up less frequently, and spoke less often. The two of you had been drifting, and you didn’t, or probably wouldn’t see it. Somewhere in your mind you still couldn’t believe that he had been seeing someone else for the last six months of your relationship, it was difficult to swallow. But you were done with wondering, done with comparing, and simply done with torturing yourself. You were extremely lucky that Tetsuya had been by your side during this process. When you explained the whole situation to him he’d been furious, you’d only ever seen him that angry during his match with Kirisaki Daiichi. As he hugged you, he quietly explained all the ways he’d make Kise pay the next time they all met up to play basketball. Even though you should’ve discouraged him, it was soothing to hear about the retribution.

At the moment, you were heading to meet your friends at a Karaoke bar, you were reluctant at first, but realized that you couldn’t let Kise prevent you from enjoying life. You had been having a great time with your friends, and had just signed up for open mic, hoping to find release for the last bits of the betrayal. What you didn’t expect was to bump into Kise with his former Kaijo teammates.

__-cchi! What are you doing here? Did you come to for Open Mic night? Are you going to sing? Wow, you look great in that outfit.” You were shocked, how could he act like nothing had happened? Controlling your expression you tensely smiled and said you were with your friends, choosing to ignore his compliment. Before he could say anything else you quietly told him you needed to get back to your table, and calmly walked away.

Once you reached your table you could tell your friends wanted to bombard you with questions, but you shook your head and said you didn’t want to talk about it now. Seeing your haunted expressions they didn’t push you any further. As they resumed their conversation, you realized your heart no longer pounded around Kise. With his infidelity that was expected, but you weren’t even nervous or frightened to see him. You were surprised, but other then that you felt impassive. It seems like you’ve moved on.

With a small smile on your face, you told your friends you were going to order another drink; non-alcoholic since you weren’t fond of liquor. As you were giving your order to the bartender, you heard that honey voice you used to love. “I’d like the same, charge them to my table.

You didn’t know what he was trying to do, and tried to correct the bartender. But Kise smiled and the bartender walked away with a knowing smile on his face. “Thank you Kise, but I can pay for my own drink.”

You saw something flash across his eyes as you said his surname, but it was gone almost immediately. “Don’t be like that __-cchi. We’ve known each other for so long.” As the bartender brought the drinks over, you pulled out the right amount for your drink and put it on the counter.

Whether or not you take it is up to you.” As you walked away Kise grabbed your wrist.

Wait! __-cchi, can we talk? Privately.” You visibly tensed. Even though you felt indifferent towards him, you weren’t sure if you wanted to be alone with him.

If you want to talk, we can do that here.” His brows furrowed, and you could tell that he was frustrated with your neutral expression. You weren’t sure what there was to talk about, but you refused to show anything on your face besides a polite smile.

I made a mistake __-cchi. A really stupid, dumb, ridiculous, foolish, idiotic mistake. It’s a mistake I’ve regretted every day for the last two months. I miss you, and parting with you was the worst decision I’ve ever made. I still love you, and I’m sorry for hurting you. But if you’ll have me, I want us to get back together. Let me prove that you’re the only one for me.“ At this point you should’ve been angry, but those golden eyes were so sincere that you only felt conflicted. He was cheating on you, yet now he wants to get back together? What was going on?

Kise. I accept your apology, but I don’t understand. You haven’t contacted me at all these past couple of months, yet when we happen to meet you suddenly decide to pursue me. You broke up with me months ago saying that you no longer felt a spark between us, but confirm a six month relationship with your campaign partner the next day. I have no idea what you’re thinking about, but I don’t want to deal with it.“ You were proud that you remained calm, and finally telling him what was on your mind lifted the remaining burden from your shoulders.

__-cchi let me explain. My agency confirmed the relationship to promote the campaign, I would never cheat on you.“ After dating him for three years you could tell that he was being honest, but you didn’t comment. ”I didn’t contact you because I felt that I didn’t have the right to. I was going to give up, but us meeting here today shows that we’re meant for each other.“ 

If it had been two months ago, you would’ve forgiven him immediately. But he had let you cry for two months and assume the worst. If he had cleared everything up, you wouldn’t have tortured yourself. You sigh. It wasn’t really his fault, you also had a hand in this. You knew that the two of you were drifting, but you didn’t try to mend the relationship either. Even when he broke up with you, instead of fighting for him you let him walk away. It seems that it was inevitable for your relationship to end.

Kise. I forgive you. If I had asked you about the headline we could’ve avoided this misunderstanding, so I also had a part in this mess. But I don’t think we should get back together. Neither of us fought to be with each other. Our relationship wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyways.“ Kise’s golden eyes turned amber. He was upset, but his tone remained gentle.  

“Don’t say that __-cchi. If it’s both of our faults we can just fix it together.” Shaking your head, you tried to remain calm but it was getting harder. So much had changed so suddenly, and now you just felt exhausted.

We can’t change who we are so easily Kise. Even though we didn’t mean to, we hurt each other. I think it’s better if we both just move on. I’m sorry Kise. Thank you for an amazing three years.” You had to get out of there now. If you stayed any longer you would give in, because deep in your heart you would always love him. As you ran out the restaurant you flagged down a taxi. Climbing in you could hear Ryouta desperately calling your name, just your name. Willing yourself not to turn back, you told the driver to go.

The two of you would only hurt each other if you were together. This was for the best, wasn’t it?

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“I won’t be that person for you anymore” | Aomine angst part three.

You folded the towel tightly around your body. You were the only one remaining — everyone had already go home and the girls locker room was empty. You opened your locker to take another towel when you heard the door opening. “I need to talk to you.” , a hand suddenly slammed your locker closed. Aomine. “W- what are you doing here ? Are you crazy?? Get out!” , you yelled as you hugged yourself. This pervert. You could be naked! You were expecting him to mock you or tease you or even make fun of your words but his face remained deadly serious , his eyes still fixed on yours. “You’re avoiding me.” , he said as he leaned back on the lockers. “This was the only way to get to you.” , he admitted.
“I don’t like this way. What do you want? ____ left already.” , you calmly told him as you pretended you were folding a towel , his eyes looking away from you in the sound of his girlfriend’s name.
“I was hoping i could see you.” , he muttered as he looked down again.
“Why ? I mean , you — you shouldn’t want to see me.” , this was very wrong. He shouldn’t sneak like that to ‘see you’ after what happened. You needed to move on , somehow , and this didn’t help to your situation. You needed him away. You took a deep breathe and stood in front of him , facing him for the first time after very long. 

“Aomine i —” , 

“Dammit ! Stop calling me that!” , he yelled as he stepped closer to you. His eyes betraying his anger and all those mixed feelings he had. At this moment it was almost too much to take — you thought you would cry or scream or even yell at him for doing that to you but after all you realized ; you were empty. You had cried enough tears. “I can’t be there for you..” , you finally told him. “Because you already have her. I - I can’t do it. I can’t stand to see you , not anymore.” , you whispered. 

There was a long pause. He seemed calm but his eyes were looking at you with anger. His hand suddenly came to rest on your cheek and oh that moment you realized his touch was something you needed , badly. You missed it. “Aomine. no.” , you finally spoke while shaking your head slowly. You teared your eyes off his you stepped back. “I won’t be that person for you.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to.” , he moved his hand away and placed it inside his pocket. While pulling back from you he nodded and looked away before turning around to exit the door.
“It’s just— ____ , i did loved you. That’s a truth i wouldn’t deny.” , he muttered as he walked away - leaving you completely alone.

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Originally posted by deku-smash

So um if you didn’t know that my main account is Chixlet and this is just a second account from old drafts that I don’t want to do anymore or you can request stuff I guess? 

You can request Knb (Kuroko No Basket) smut or crack on here since the fandom is kinda dead. You can also request Haikyuu!! or well Mha and Killing Stalking for the celebration for the Animated Series (Please be specific about your request and I can only do bottom male readers). So yeah bye and see you next time! 

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as requested by my friend @meiyanaalexia so like, happy late birthday to my boy Takao??

  • this is an old headcanon of mine, but. for all that superstition, Midorima doesn’t believe in soulmates or if he does, he wouldn’t think Takao is his. meanwhile, Takao is 100% down-to-earth, always logic over myth, but he was struck so hard and so fast by his feelings for Midorima, having that full ‘love at first sight’ experience that he cannot ever think of him as anything else but a soulmate
  • sure, Midorima knows that Cancers and Scorpios are compatible, but he keeps telling himself that it’s just different with Takao. “I’d much rather prefer a Pisces, or an Earth sign”, “He’s a Scorpio yes, but he’s the only exception that I don’t get along with, because his moon sign is this or that”. It breaks Takao’s heart but he’ll laugh it off
  • Takao does a lot of that. Gets deeply hurt by Midorima’s oblivious bluntness, but laughs it off because why burden the object of his affection with his pain when he doesn’t even like him?
  • It’s like that for a long while. Takao yearns in secret, Midorima is completely in the dark about it, and they bicker like an old married couple off the court
  • On the court though? They’re flawless. There’s no words or feelings to confuse them, there’s just the undeniable connection at works, purer than they’d ever make it, because it’s not man-made - they’re just in tune with each other, every step of the way. Takao feels most at ease at those times, when his world seems to narrow down to just him and his Shin-chan
  • more often than not, the high he gets from that comes with an incredible low. He can keep his smile up for about 10 minutes after coming off the court, glancing at Midorima’s turned back after the compulsory high five, but keep him around any longer and he’ll break down in tears
  • Eventually, the Shutoku fam catches up. They’ll start asking Midorima questions like “don’t you think Takao is a little off sometimes?” he doesn’t know. Maybe they should go ask Takao about it. “You two are really close, huh?” They’re not. Why would they say that, when Takao is only but a nuisance and he just decided to tag along with him one day? He wasn’t invited.
  • For additional angst, Midorima might be too hung up on someone from the GoM (Akashi or Aomine, you can pry my “they dated and are now awkward exes” headcanon from my cold dead hands) and his face only ever shows soft emotions when he sees them or thinks about them… Takao catches it once, smiles through his heartbreak, and spends the rest of the week physically hurting and wondering why he can’t let go even with knowing that Midorima’s feelings belong to someone else
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CW: mentions of a car accidents, nothing graphic

“Where are you?”

Nash looked at his phone for the nth time in the past 10 minutes. You were supposed to be home at midnight, and it was now a quarter to one. Nash had been pacing your shared living room for the past half hour waiting for you to call or text him back. The silence of the room was broken by a text notification from Jason. Jason <Nash I see your girl getting loaded into an ambulance>

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He’s in middle school when he first learns about how, if you sit on your hand for long enough, it goes numb, and you can pretend someone else is jerking you off.

It’s a great discovery. Sure, he hates the itchy, tingling sensation when the feeling starts wearing off, and it’s a pain sitting on his hand for long enough, but who cares about all the minor issues when you’ve got a hot chick (alright, not really) giving you a hand job? 

***

It’s sometime in high school when his left hand, still numb, skims his right. The sudden contact, even between his own two hands, sends a shock down his forearm. He doesn’t move his hands apart. Though he also doesn’t imagine that the hand belongs to anyone else - no way in hell is he, practically a grown man, ever going to hold hands with anyone ever. 

But, when he’s falling asleep, he intertwines the fingers of his hands. It makes him feel a little more connected. Connected to what, he doesn’t know.

It’s gotten bad though - this whole touch thing. Sometimes a hot girl’s arm will brush his, and the spike of shock goes to his heart and not his dick. Which isn’t how it’s supposed to go: that he knows for sure. And, when he goes out for walks, he never moves away from the people walking towards him. He deliberately bumps into them. Occasionally, they’ll throw a fuss, but his scowl shuts them up pretty quick. And then they walk off in a rush, so Haizaki’s left with his shoulder still throbbing from the contact.

**

At practice, once again, no one’s talking to him. Alright, fine, he knows it’s somewhat his fault. Maybe he shouldn’t have started yelling at them, when he strolled in for his first (and last) practice session of the week. But it’s not his fault that these losers are so incompetent. And, ‘cause they’re so incompetent, there’s no point being a team player around them. Teamwork is only worth it when everyone’s the same level. Hell, Fukuda Sogo Academy would probably do better in the tournaments if it was just him, Haizaki, playing - one him, and six opponent players. He’d win every match for sure.

What really pisses him off though, even more than his teammate’s mediocrity, is their post-practice spirit. When, despite his presence, everyone’s in a good mood, chatting together as they get changed, laughing together, slapping each other’s backs, nudging one another with their elbows. Ishida’s arm hangs loosely from the shoulder of one of the second years. Now, for the record, Haizaki fucking despises Ishida - and everything the captain stands for, and all the man’s ‘sportsmanship’ bullshit - but he wouldn’t mind an arm on his shoulder sometime. 

That’s a joke. He would very much mind. He would punch Ishida right on the nose if the third year ever dared. 

All these thoughts about arms on shoulders are just a weird kind of horny.

***

The house is pitch black by the time Haizaki arrives from school. He turns on the TV - his ears start to ring when it’s too quiet - but he leaves the lights off. His mother won’t be home till even later. And, when she does arrive, Haizaki will just move from the living room to his bedroom to avoid her, so it’ll be like she’s still not there. Just him, alone, at home. 

Usually, Haizaki goes out. It feels more like night in this measly old flat, than on the city streets where every corner is alight, where he can sit in the shadows and watch everyone else live in the neons and yellows. But he’s too tired for any of that, today. Tired enough that he can barely hear the tv; it’s just monotonous white noise. He can’t even make out the words they’re saying.

He’s not usually tired from practice. He doesn’t usually put in any effort. But, today, another one of the first years pissed him off. That fucker, in Ishida’s words, ‘outdid’ himself today - running up and down the court like he was a fucking dog playing fetch, grinning and cheering when he scored again, his forehead gleaming with sweat.

And that really pissed Haizaki off. Something about how everyone gathered around said first year, and praised him, whilst he stood in the middle of the ring, wagging his tail. Haizaki’s the ace - he should be the one getting praised - or did everyone forget that.

So, Haizaki ran around a bit too, just to prove that he can score more than any of these fuckers - and that’s with his eyes closed. But then Ishida told him to pass more, so Haizaki stuck his middle finger up at him and stormed off. In the end, there was no real point to put in the effort.

***

His mother arrives home. She tells Haizaki his brother won’t be back tonight, which Haizaki already had presumed, cause the chicks won’t stay away from that guy. She makes him some curry, but he doesn’t want to leave his room, so she just leaves the bowl at his door. By the time he remembers to go get it, it’s already gone cold.

Later, scrolling through his favourite sites, he jerks off to the first video he clicks on. He didn’t even look at the thumbnail. He just moves his numb hand, up and down, like he’s a robot, until he feels the heat and the release. Until he feels something, is the main thing. And then, once it’s all over, he pulls the duvet over himself, and tries to sleep on his back. But he can’t fall asleep like that.

No, for some fucked reason, he can only sleep on his side these days. In a fetal position, with his arms wrapped around a pillow (and the pillow cover never warms up, no matter how long he holds it).

His hand is still numb. When his fingers grasp one another, his palm feels foreign. He tries to pretend that something, someone is there, on the other side, curled up beside him. And, eventually, after he tosses and turns a couple times, he’s asleep. 

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Originally posted by rosiitea

Fandom: Kuroko no basket (Kuroko’s basketball)

Characters: Kagami Taiga & Haizaki Shougo

Paring: Kagahai

Warning: Implied/refereced child abuse and light angst

Summary:

“You’re my whole world. My everything. Nothing’s going to change that. Ever.”

─── ∙ ~❣~ ∙ ───

Kagami wants to spend the rest of his life with him

A/N: I wasn’t planning on writing this but the very few Haikaga on here and ao3 made me. So, boom! Here ya go. A wholesome oneshot for these two idiots. I honestly love both of them.

Also on ao3

⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫。˚۰˚˚⁀➷。˚⸙͎۪۫⋆ ༄

It was obvious Kagami had some sort of relationship with Fukuda’s ace by how he would get all flustered from the way Haizaki would tease him and the way his eyes always watched Haizaki as if he were clouds drifting in the endless blue sky, completely untouchable.

Yet…

It never stopped Kagami from trying to reach him no matter how far he was.

And—

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