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#knickerless
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No truth no trust easy to understand and no, give your opinion and knowingly lie about facts is *not* the same thing. You knew you were heavily influencing people. Telling lies isn't an opinion you've repeated that enough. You *know* it's a lie. As subjective as our human condition makes us, empirical truth is a real thing. One can tell that it's their opinion that the Earth is flat it doesn't make it true. And when you say "Now we know that [...]" it's an affirmation not speculation. You're a liar, a deceiver. Period.
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athenasparrow · 11 months
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“you left your underwear back at my place.” Jily
Because this made me laugh when I read it
I hope this makes you laugh too @liiilyevans 😂
Rating: M
Send me a prompt
When Lily wakes up, it’s to a pounding headache and a bitter taste in her mouth that informs her – in a voice that sounds eerily like Petunia – that she shouldn’t have downed the five flaming vodka shots at the end of the night. But Marlene had already ordered them and it would’ve been such a waste.
Lily groans and reaches for her phone, determined to tell Marlene off for making her feel so damn horrible, but she's rather distracted by the message that blinks innocently at her on the screen.
Unknown: Hi : D You left your underwear at my place. Let me know when you're awake - I can drop them off.
Lily stares at the message...someone has obviously typed in the wrong number; it was hazy, but she remembers getting in the cab alone. And her underwear was still–
Oh no.
Lily frantically yanks up her dress, staring in horror at her very knickerless–
Lily: Who is this?
Had she shagged the cab driver? She couldn’t remember if he was cute or not. Oh god, what if she’d given in to the building super who had been hitting on her for months. He was like fifty! That would explain why he had her number. Shit, double shit. 
Lily: Is this Horace? 
Unknown: Wait, you're shagging Slughorn?
A wave of pure relief swept through Lily; she was not – thank god – shagging her super.
Lily: No! No more questions!
Who are you?
I’ve woken up with no knickers and am now checking the opening hours for my nearest chemist so I can go buy a fucking pregnancy test.
And get an STI screening!
I do not have time for games right now!
Tell me who you are and return my knickers at once!
Unknown:
Woah, hold on a sec
You don’t need a pregnancy test or an STI screening
At least not because of last night
Lily:
And how would you know that genius?
Unless you’re infertile and a virgin there’s a chance of both!
Again, who am I speaking with?????
Unknown: I am neither infertile nor a virgin
Lily: Then you don’t “know” shit, do you?
Unknown: But we did not have sex last night
Lily: Oh!
Unknown: And this is your neighbour, James
Lily: I don’t have a neighbour named James!
James: I beg to differ. Listen, can you answer your door?
Even with that warning, Lily still jumped when a sharp rap sounded in her apartment. She had quite a few things to say to this man! She didn’t have a neighbour named James; she would know, she’d been living in this apartment for three years. Alice and Frank lived down the hall – they were looking for a bigger place since the arrival of their little one – in number seven. Arabella – a lady who had more cats than square metres – lived in number six. Number five held a charming set of twins – Gideon and Fabian – who Lily was happy to flirt with every time they got mail at the same time. She was in number five and number four–
Oh no.
Lily doesn't have time to stop her hand as it reaches out in front of her and opens the door.
Fit bloke from number four.
He looks even more delicious and Lily is suddenly rather regretful he’d said they hadn’t shagged. But she’s distracted from that thought by the sudden assault of memories.
***
“Pads?” James calls, hearing the door slam shut. He barely glances up from his phone as he frowns at the latest next his mother’s sent him. 
He does jump up at the ensuing crash – and rather loud silence in place of his brother’s usual greeting – running to the hallway and greeted with a rather strange sight.
The beautiful redhead from number five is sprawled out on his floor and seems to be giving her shoe a rather harsh verbal lashing.
“What are you making me trip for, you stupid thing!”
“Are you sure it’s the shoe that made you trip and not the several glasses of whatever you’ve been drinking?” James interrupts with a laugh.
She spins around, obviously caught by surprise, before letting out a triumphant yell as she yanks one heel off, then the other, tossing them carelessly over her shoulder. James winces at the mark the first one leaves on his wall but decides it’s nothing when her second shoe narrowly misses the vase his mother had gifted him.
“I think you’re in the wrong apartment,” James says kindly. She looked quite plastered. “Would you like me to–”
“I’m not in the wrong apartment!” Lily interrupts confidently. “You’re fit-man!”
“I’m James actually?” James says, rather bewildered. “And if anyone is fit here, it’s you!”
The redhead looks rather delighted at his compliment. “That’s excellent that you think so! This will work rather nicely then!”
“What will work nic– Hey! What are you doing?” 
Jame thinks it’s a fair question since she’s hiked up her dress – he was not going to look – and was tugging her deep blue lacy knickers – no looking! – down her pale legs. 
“Well, how are we supposed to do it with them on?” The redhead says, shooting him a look that James thinks is supposed to mean duh when in reality, he’s quite far from understanding anything at the moment.
“It?” James asks, clearing his throat and happy she doesn't appear to notice he sounds like a frog.
“Don’t you know what sex is?” And now she’s giggling at him, bright and free and drunk.
“I know what sex is,” James feels the need to clarify. “But we can’t do it right now.” No matter how much I wish we could.
“Why not?” She demands, her eyes wide – and mesmerising – and horrified as she stares at him.
“Because you’re drunk,” James breaks to her gently, fighting back a laugh. “And I don’t even know your name.”
“Lily.” A pause. “I suppose it would be odd to have sex with me when you don’t know my name.”
James nods vigorously, glad she’s seeing some sense. Hopefully he can convince her to go back to her apartment so he doesn't have to keep telling his cock to stay the fuck down. 
“It’s a pity I’m drunk,” she tells him. “I was really hoping for an orgasm before bed, it really helps me sleep, you know?”
James chokes on the very air he was supposed to be breathing. He does know but he’s not going to tell her that. “I suppose you’ll have to sort that out yourself."
Lily heaves a long sigh like he’s announced Christmas has been cancelled. “Are you sure you can’t help me?” she pouts.
You’re sure James, he tells himself sternly. 
“I’m sure,” he confirms. “You’re drunk.” He says this out loud for his benefit as much as for hers.
“So you would help me if I wasn’t drunk?” 
I would bury my face between your legs and make you cum over and over again.
“Would love to,” James says instead. “If you still want to of course.”
“I’ll still want to,” Lily declares surely and James hopes so, but he won’t hold it against her if she doesn’t. “Oh no!”
“Oh no what?” 
“I’m going to be sick.”
Well shit. 
James scrambles to his feet, thankful the bathroom is in the hallway as he helps her stand and rushes her to the toilet. He holds her hair as she retches into the toilet and offers her a glass of water when she’s done. 
“Now I’ve ruined it” Lily sighs regretfully as she leans her cheek against the toilet seat.
“Ruined what?”
“My sexiness! This is decidedly un-sexy.”
He shouldn’t be flirting – she's drunk – but James can’t help but reassure her. “You could throw up in my toilet all day long and I’ll still think you're beautiful.”
“You would?”
“I would. But let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay? I think you could use some sleep.”
“You’re fit and nice. Do you think I could marry you someday?”
“How about we go on a sober date first,” James proposes, shoving aside the image of her in a white dress that his traitorous mind procures.
“If we must,” Lily hums, letting him pull her up. She grabs a pen off his console and – rather neatly, given how drunk she is – writes her number on his arm. “Now you can find me again!”
She looks so pleased with herself that James doesn’t remind her he only needs to walk three metres to her door. Instead, he grabs her shoes as he guides her out his door and down the hallway. When he sees her safely to bed – her eyes are already heavy – he slips out to leave her in peace. 
Damn. Her knickers.
He grins as he reaches into his pocket for his phone, typing in the numbers neatly scrawled on his arm.
James: Hi : D You left your underwear at my place…
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brattysofiax · 5 months
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You definitely need to be objectified!
Perhaps knickerless on the desk, just wearing a corset which is pushing up those gorgeous milkers under your face. And let’s see how wet we can make you as everyone watches on 😏
I really would drip down onto the desk. But that would just give me the opportunity to demonstrate how a breeding toy licks up her own mess
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rosetta-j-stone · 3 months
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Bojan: Hey. Hey. Hey. Krisko.
Kris: WHAT
Bojan: I'm not wearing underwear today.
Kris: ...
Bojan: ASK ME WHY : D : D : D
Kris: Ugh. <sighs> OK...
Kris: Why are you not wearing underwear today Bojan
Bojan: Because today...
Kris: <realisation dawning> Oh noooooo
Bojan: It's the Feast of SAINT KNICKERLESS
Kris: ...
Bojan: <pundog face>
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notknickers · 7 months
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have you tried walking from dusk til dawn through rows of tombs knickerless while on your period to attract a hungry vampire?
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xlollisbedlamx · 1 year
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filthy sex fiends
by lolli g
So just when I thought the drama had left my little happy abode it swooped back in under the guise of “just dropping by” and not leaving for three days….so far. Yup baby face and knickerless are back and in full effect. The night was pretty uneventful except towards the end they got into a  huge fight and I ended up mediating…damn. 
It was mostly about how although neither of them wanted to have a threesome they had discussed it at length and baby face couldn't understand  how knickerless didn’t see how a threesome with her and baby face and another guy was completely different then them having a threesome with another girl. Baby face said that he wouldn’t enjoy a threesome with a dude because he isn’tgay or bi….but with another girl everyone got to have fun because knickerless is bi. This led to her cheating on him and him cheating on her and so on and so on. I feel I did a pretty good job mediating but I'm not sure anything was remedied. It went on for a couple hours and I’m spent lol.
Of course now they have made up and everything is hunky-dory and they are yet again cuddled up on my couch…no sex tonight though because baby face knock knickerlesses I.U.D. out of place and she is in pain.  Who am i kidding they will probably fuck anyway…filthy sex fiends lol.
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I know Brennan said the K stands for Knicholas... but we all know it actually stands for knickerless
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sir-cl77 · 2 years
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It is a beautiful warm, sunny day in London. So why am I am wearing a suit and tie, stuck inside talking at hundreds of other men in suits and ties?
I should be in the park, tie off, sat on my jacket in the shade of a tree, watching the world go by, holding the hand of a lovely shy sub with a demure smile, her head on Daddy's shoulder, wearing a sundress and no knickers. Both of us knowing that within minutes I will be checking to see if she is knickerless.
Good girl 😈🔥
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"The Bookshop" from Monty Python
Good morning (Good morning, sir can I help you?)
Uh, yes do you have a copy Of 30 Days In The Samarkand Desert With The Duchess of Kent By A e j elliot, oBE? (Uh, well, I don't know the book, sir) Er, never mind Never mind how about 101 Ways To Start a Fight? (By?) An Irish gentleman whose name eludes Me for the moment (Uhh, no, well we haven't got it in stock Sir) ah, well, not to worry, not to worry
Can you help me with David Coperfield? (Ah, yes, Dickens) no (I beg your pardon?) no, Edmund Wells (I think you'll find Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield, sir) No, no -Dickens wrote David Copperfield with two p's This is David Coperfield with one p By Edmund Wells (David Coperfield with one p?) Yes, I should have said (Well, in that case, we don't have it)
Funny, you got a lot of books here- (Yes, we do, but we don't have David Coperfield with one p By Edmund Wells) are you quite sure? (Quite) not worth just looking? (Definitely not) How about Grate Expectations? (Yes, well we have that) That's G-R-A T-E Expectations Also by Edmund Wells (Yes, well, in that case, we don't have it We don't have anything by Edmund Wells Actually he's not very popular)
Not Knickerless Nickleby? That's K-N-IC-K-E-R-L-E-S-S? (No) Christmas Karol, with a K? (No) How about A Sale Of Two Titties? (Definitely not) sorry to trouble you (Not at all) good morning (Good morning)
Oh! (Yes?) i wonder if you might have A copy of Rarnaby Budge? (No, as I say We're right out of Edmund Wells) No, not Edmund Wells, Charles Dikkens (Charles Dickens?) yes (You mean Barnaby Rudge?) No, Rarnaby Budge by Charles Dikkens That's Dikkens with two k's The well-known Dutch author (No, we don't have Rarnaby Budge By Charles Dikkens With Two-K's The Well-Known-Dutch-Author And perhaps, to save time I should add we don't have Carnaby Fudge by Darles Chickens or Farmbury Sludge By Marles Pickens Or even Stickwick Stapers by Farles Wickens with four m's and A silent q! Why don't you try W h smiths?) I did they sent me here (Did they)
I wonder- (Oh, do go on, please) I I wonder if you might have The Amazing Adventures Of Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet And Her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst The Giant Pygmies Of Beccles, volume eight (No, we don't have that, funny We got a lot of books here well, I mustn't Keep you standing here, thank you) Do- do- do you have- (Well, we really haven't) -the-the-the-there (No, we haven't sorry! It's one o'clock now We're closing up for lunch i'm sorry to) No, I s- I saw it over there! I saw it (What?)
I saw it over there -Olsen's Standard Book Of British Birds (Olsen's Standard Book Of British Birds?) Yes (O-L-S-E-N?) yes (B-IR-D-S?) Yes (Yes, well, we do have that As a matter of fact) the Expurgated Version? (sorry, I didn't quite catch that) The Expurgated version? (The Expurgated Version of Olsen's Standard Book Of British Birds?) The one without the gannet (The - one without the Gannet?! They've all got The gannet -it's a standard British bird The gannet's in all the books) Well, I don't like them they wet their nests (Alright, I'll remove it! Any other Birds you don't like?) I don't like the robin (The robin? Right The robin! There you are! Any others You don't like? Any others?) the nuthatch I can't buy that, it's torn!
I wonder of you have- (Go on, ask me anything! We got Lots of books here, you know It's a book shop) Uh, how about Biggles Combs His Hair? (No, no, we don't have that one, funny) The Gospel According To Charlie Drake? (No, no, no, try me again) uh oh I know! Ethel The Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying? (No, no, n- what? What?) Ethel The Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying (ethel The Aard- i've got it! I've seen it Somewhere! Yes! Yes! Here we Are! Ethel The Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying! There's your book!
Now buy it) i don't have enough money (I'll take deposit) i don't have any money (I'll take a check) i don't have a checkbook (I'll take a blank one) I haven't got a bank account! (Right! I'll buy it for you! Here You are! There's your change There's some money for a taxi On the way home, there's your book) Wait! Wait! (Now, now, w)
Wait! (What!? What!? What!? What!? What?) I can't read! (You can't read Right! Sit down sit! Sit! Sit there! Are you sitting comfortably? Right!
Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the River valley one happy afternoon)
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mica-marie-96 · 7 days
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Can you show your pictures unfiltered from Berlin? You looked gorge babe 🥰 xx
Thank you so much! Asks like yours make my year 🥰 I may consider it, but I was knickerless so it is a strong maybe lol 😂 xx
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sleigheye · 3 months
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Dec 19: Saint Knickerless
Prompt: an old man with a white beard and santa hat standing on a beach in shorts and no shirt covered in tattoos; film grain
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den56sblog · 7 months
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mr-blue-eyes · 10 months
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Miknikartisan
Age: 52 years old
Location: United Kingdom
She might be that dream MILF you want your wife or girlfriend to be like:
Friendly
Happy
Beautiful
Sexy
Daring
Cheeky
Kind
Generous
Always wearing the kind of clothes in public you wished your other half would:
Braless
See thru
Nipple pokies
Knickerless
Cameltoe
Stocking tops
Hold ups
Underboobs
Heels
The kind of MILF who likes it all:
Blowjobs
Swallow
No gag reflex
Deepthroat
Bareback
Tit wanks
Anal
Sex positions.
Just an all-round fun and hot sexy MILF.
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silverhallow · 1 year
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lucy/hyacinth smutty drabble "Yes, please, do it"
Words: 427
Warnings: mentions of lesbian sex, mentions of oral sex (f to f), implied gay sex, getting caught.
There is a little nod to it’s in his kiss in this and maybe a surprise M/M pairing 😏
Lucy knew this was reckless, dangerous even they could easily get caught but she was so lost in the moment that it didn’t matter that Hyacinth had dragged her into what she assumed was her cousin’s office and that they were making out and she couldn’t care… she really couldn’t but she knew they shouldn’t…
“Hy… we… we shouldn’t” she stammered as Hyacinth backed her onto the desk
“Do you want me to stop… or would you rather I lift your skirt and make you scream?”
“Yes… please… do it!” Lucy panted as Hyacinth’s fingers cupped her dripping wet knickerless pussy
“You want me to stop?” hyacinth smirked against her girlfriends lips
“No! Don’t you Fucking dare!”
Hyacinth chucked and “you wanted this all along, it’s why you're not wearing knickers..” she teased
“Stop teasing me and just fuck me already”
“All right,” she acceded, “but the only words I’ll allow from your mouth are, ‘Oh, hy,’ and ‘Yes, Hy.’”
She lifted her fingers and moved into position. “What about ‘More, Hy?’” Lucy asked with a wicked smirk
She almost kept a straight face. “That will be acceptable.” And she didn’t say another word before she buried her face between her legs and proceeded to make her scream.
When Lucy regained her senses Forty-five minutes later she realised she wasn’t in Sophie’s office but Benedict’s and squealed “your brother is going to kill us!”
“Nah he’ll be more annoyed at Greg and Gareth as they went into Sophie’s office before we disappeared” Hyacinth cackled as she dragged Lucy back out to the party.
Benedict had a face like thunder as he turned to his younger siblings “look I give a fuck where or who you fuck but if either of you go into either mine or Sophie’s offices again I’ll make sure neither of you ever have sex again, and tell mother AND Sophie! my children’s bedrooms are above those bloody rooms!!!” He yelled at them and only then did Lucy start to feel guilty…
By the following morning at breakfast when little 5 year old Alex asked why he heard Auntie Lucy screaming Auntie Hyacinth’s name over and over… in front of Violet Bridgerton… Lucy wanted the ground to swallow her whole as Hyacinth just said without missing a beat “I was tickling her…”
“Was Uncle Greg ticking Uncle Gareth then?” Charlie asked, looking confused as Sophie came back into the room carrying breakfast and looked furious.
Lucy did the only thing she could think of… she bolted from the room leaving them all to face her cousins legendary wrath.
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hillsandpoon · 1 year
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The Story of ASBO Lily (25) 5 x 5
WARNING CONTAINS PROFANITIES FROM THE OUTSET
A short poem about a young women called Lily who is notorious in her community for her ASBO and who at the age of 25 has 5 girls by 5 different fathers.
This is the tale of ASBO Lily
Feared by the men on her estate
5 girls by 5 fathers and just 25
Fucked washing machine stuck on her drive
Loves her kids but loves her fellas
Will her kids be just like her? Only time will tell us.
Lives on handouts and social payouts
Attracts the wrong attention from the layabouts
Pissheads, pyschos, thieves and druggies
Pushing their offspring in clapped out buggies.
She used to run a car but child benefits cut
There’s no choice now but walk or stay put.
Friday night and going out on the lash
Fake Burberry purse loaded with cash.
Dressed to kill in her tight black dress
Jacket, stilettos, Black bra, Knickerless
Her aims for tonight is already set
To have fun and get drunk pull a bloke for a bet..
The working men’s club is the start of her night
Drink a lot, then more, then maybe a fight.
Out with the girls nothing else matters
Laugh and swear at the old man with glasses.
Playing his dominoes and drinking his mild
Unaware of the attention from this once problem child
Problems with old folks, Problems with race
Her parents first taught her then gave up the chase.
Her rep is gained from being once called a witch
And smacking the fuck out of a mouthy fat bitch
Onto the first bar and it’s happy hour.
So looks for a target for her to devour.
Her gob is as wide as the River Mersey
She’s the most outspoken of all her friends.
Onto the dance floor and she heads to the front.
Taking the lead in her own man hunt
Wouldn’t want anyone taking her prey
She’s waited for this long enough today.
Second bar, third bar but still no score
Her Stilettos are rubbing her feet red raw.
Downed too many cocktails and slips on the floor
Her friends lift her quickly so she doesn’t show more
Stands up laughing and straightens her dress
Looks in a mirror her make ups a mess. 
Lippy, mascara quickly applied
Taxi to club a 5 minute ride
Past the bald bouncer who mans the front door.
Seems Lily’s had the bald bouncer before
Stilettos still rubbing her feet red raw
The dance floor looks empty no chance of a score
The girls all leave drunk in fact fucking hammered
Taxi won’t take them that drivers a wanker
Bus home, cant walk, the babysitter is asleep.
Wakes her, pays her, has a cup of tea.
Takes her shoes off and goes for a piss
This is a night she wished she’d missed.
Dress off, bra off, face off, and bed
Light off as she rests her banging head.
But she can’t settle she can’t drift off
Something is wrong she’s ready to barf.  
The room starts spinning so she thinks oh fuck it
So empties her stomach in the waste bucket.
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lexlee20 · 2 years
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Ok this is completely immature of me, but the non-rhoticity of the audiobook narrator I’m listening to made me momentarily mishear “St Nicholas, patron saint of seamen” as “St. Knickerless, patron saint of—“ um yeah
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