"Hope she does all right as queen," said Nanny.
"We taught her everything she knows," said Granny Weatherwax.
"Yeah," said Nanny Ogg, as they disappeared into the bracken. "D'you think...maybe...?"
"What?"
"D'you think maybe we ought to have taught her everything we know?"
"It'd take too long."
"Yeah, right."
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
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there is no wrong way to have something
i want you to imagine you finish work today and decide to go to target to buy a dope t-shirt.
wardrobe’s been feeling a little meh, you’ve been feeling more yourself—you know it’s time to upgrade your style.
so, you drive to target, park, pick up your starbies order, head to the t-shirt section and there it is!
a plain, oversized tee in your favorite cobalt blue color.
to an outsider, there’s probably nothing all that special about the shirt—it’s just a shirt—but to you, well, you love it. you just *know* it’s yours.
so you buy it!
and you’re excited about it.
you’re cruisin’ home with the windows down blasting zach bryan or the tallest man on earth or tupac thinking about how cute you’re gonna look in your new shirt, you get home, maybe you tell your husband or your girlfriend or your mama or your dog that you found the perfect, most basic, most *you* shirt imaginable, then you throw it in the washer/dryer, take it out, hang it up and, well, from here on out, you probably don’t think about it all that much—except for the split-second when you first put it on and look in the mirror and feel fly as fuck, or when your hubs tells you how beautiful you look in that color, yada yada—because it’s just yours now. no biggie. not much to think about.
but ok. let’s say you’re kinda shirt-obsessy, and you love that shirt so much that you think about it legit every waking hour of the day. hell, you might even dream about it! or it kinda surprises you but you don’t feel much of anything when you put it on, or you wear it to go on a coffee date with your friends and you feel so at home in it that you decide it’s your luckiest shirt ever and from then on out that is precisely what it becomes.
you know what doesn’t change, regardless of how much or little you think about the shirt, or how you feel about it, or what meaning you imbue it with?
you. have. it.
you purchased it.
it is yours.
period.
same goes for your desires.
you can think about them 24/7. you can feel in love, held, confident, secure, powerful when they come to mind. you can feel literally nothing at all. you can throw them in the back of your proverbial closet and let them accumulate dust.
it does not matter.
they are yours.
so, please, stop with the worrying and the conditioning.
you don’t have to “detach,” you don’t have to “feel”—by which i mean EMOTIONS—knowing is a different story—you don’t have to saturate your mind, you don’t have to do anything except HAVE.
and how could it possibly be difficult or confusing to have something you already have?
it simply could not.
that would be bonkers.
so, boom.
decide your manifestation is a cobalt blue t-shirt.
you purchased it. it’s in the bag. it’s in the washer-dryer. it’s in the closet.
you’re free to go about your life now. to do/think/feel whatever the fuck you want.
no worries, no conditions.
what’s yours is yours.
i love ya.
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St Anne's Park, August
It is late. It is summer.
The air betrays
shared fires
and deep secrets
among the trees.
When will we know
if this is
a terrible idea?
Because right now
it still feels
like lightning
in heavy skies,
like ripe apples,
like a wet door
opening
when you were sure
you'd be stranded
out on the steps.
There is rain
in your hair.
You can't stop staring,
the eyes that meet yours
no longer strange.
Must we wait?
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Romans 2:4 (NKJV) -
Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?
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knowing
*
knowing shows up
in subtle ways;
an increase of lines
around, above & below the eyes,
a slight turn of the corner of the mouth,
reticence to talk too much
about too many things
for too long.
being, while knowing
inhabits an entirely different dimension
one where
mass actions could signify wisdom -
until they don't;
lemmings, like sheep,
gather in packs & blindly follow
whoever happens to be at the helm
at the time - but
knowing affords a pause
born of perception,
allowing realizations
that current ways are not the only ones, or
necessarily the best,
only those endorsed by the reigning crew
that you'll behoove to follow
via informed decisions only,
without coercion.
i wake up,
adjust my knowing place
say grace to the
world's woeful face, weeping
when we don't gaze at it directly,
catching the tear wipes
& i carry an ample share
of tissues & hugs, ever ready to assist
with the many bereavements;
knowing all of this.
*
11/23 - lebuc - knowing
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Wednesday: "If I were to agree to a romantic outing of sorts, it's to a place of my choosing"
Enid: *just excited* "OF COURSE!"
Thing: *signs to xavier* "I don't know about that"
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