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#konohagakurekakashi
konohagakurekakashi · 1 month
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|| Tsunade and Kakashi giving each other the side-eye every time they are forced to sit in yet another council meeting that could have been an email.
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Loathe, yet forced to listen to the sweet, kill me now, soundtrack of Koharu-sama's gums siphoning the life out of an agar jelly cube.
Anmitsu aside...Is it just me or does it seem like they are seated in the presence of their future selves?...Why is there no such thing as a decent retirement package in the Hidden Leaf? Do they not deserve the rest?
Demo, the joint torture would surely make for some interesting scenarios @senjutsunade ^^''
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senjutsunade · 1 month
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Notes from the Trio-Kage Meeting - 02/18/2024
Dusts off her desk and places the newly bought sake bottles on the somewhat clean (hah-SNIZUNE WE NEED GENNIN TO CLEAN UP THIS HELLHOLE!) surface.
"Hmmm...what even....?"
Scowls at the chicken scratch that just happens to be sparklepuff's writing.
"Stupid.....glitter blinded.....gremlin...."
Its takes a n added minute or two for the script to make sense.
"Ah - - so the plan is resurrection. No we aren't building a zombie army but the plot-holes need to be addressed because seemingly too many innocent civilians were lost to them."
It sounded like a joke....but only if it were one. Sigh.
"Back to world-building because we were dumb enough to be Hokage's so the headache is of course ours. I mean...I still think the job should have been given to Orochimaru. Being Hokage would have meant he never would have had time for evilness and all three of us would have been spared."
Cue deadpan. Cue cursing stupid old men who think they know better but then go ahead and die at the hands of their favorite students (that is karma for you sensei!!) and leave all the paperwork for those who never wanted it.
Things to do:
Organize Konoha Google Folder (shared with all three)
Update Tumblr - Verse Status (file in folder)
Review head-canons
Update all threads on Google-Dive for better access. ☼ Ten Miles too Close - Done. ☼ Rinne-Whoops - FS will try to make sense of it?! I tried. Copied as much as I could find. But someone needs to make sense of it, still. ☼ There is a random Modern AU - courtesy of CI - and just been named Whiskey and Whimsy. I added that to a document too.
Goal is to have as much organized as we can by our next meeting. Also, you two need to buy me a lot of sake for all this insanity.
@konohagakurekakashi & @minaa-munch
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the-world-of-dew · 4 years
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I died long ago
then someday
somehow
I got stirred up
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art by  Shibuz4
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minaa-munch · 4 years
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If Flake-sensei lived in the Modern World. What would his occupation be?
Something that gives him the license to employ his...creative spin on things [nicknames. All the nicknames] and be a little turd about it. 
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Engineer. Definitely - either mechanical or aeronautical/aerospace. It would fit, considering his affinity to decode/deconstruct things and create new ones [along with turning everything into a freaking variable]. Also, his eye for detail and tendency for dabbling into...shadier regions associated with the trade if he has to. You know he will. 
Also this: 
Minato: -- and I call it super mechanical twitcher alpha
Kakashi: ._.
Kushina: ._.
Minato: u-u
Kakashi: ...Okay, but why a twitcher?
Kushina: D: kakashiyounincompoopwhy’dyouask
Minato: Because-- -launches into an explanation that can and will take three hours- 
You can imagine the aftermath ne. 
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uchihaa-itachi · 4 years
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Large curious hues stared at the assortment of herbs and dry ingredients peeking from within the cheap plastic - he could identify daikon, umeboshi, dried carrots...trailing off, his eyes narrowed at what looked like shredded parchment.
Etto...rice crackers? 
“...”
What had happened to the ‘just-add-hot-water’ packs they had gotten used to? They had been so convenient, even for his kitchen-kultz prone fingers. Releasing a minuscule sigh at the thought, his gaze flickered to the lone, rusty (and possibly cracked) pan sitting on the shelf, right next to a stack of old candles.
“Taicho, are you sure we can’t survive on ration bars?”
@konohagakurekakashi 
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shikkotsunin · 4 years
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@konohagakurekakashi​ -- ;
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Once upon a time, Sasuke and Naruto had taken the bulk of their sensei’s attention. Compared to the two prodigies, both from prominent clans that had heavy involvement in the village from the very beginning, Sakura had no such background. Aside from being non-native to the land’s patchwork, it was only by hard work and her knack for adaptability that had even made her successful with Tsunade at all. On this mid-spring day, it was no different. Instead of simply resigning to Tsunade’s teachings, she needed to embattle herself against someone who was at the same level or higher of the foes they’d be facing; those people in the black coats with red clouds who were unimaginably strong. People only her sensei could come close to emulating in level.
At the training grounds had she and Kakashi agreed to meet, but it wasn’t with pleasantries that she’d break the silence. Instead, whether he was reading Icha Icha or not, she wouldn’t give him time to react.
“SHANNAROOOOO!”
Like a guillotine did she drop, the Heavenly Foot of Pain jutsu of her master serving to devastate the surrounding earth as an enormous wave of fissures upended the earth in plumes of dust and erupting boulders and debris that blinded the encompassing space for meters, liable to take even the mellow Copy-cat Ninja off his guard if he weren’t prepared already.
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asagao-onna · 4 years
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@konohagakurekakashi
“Okay, we’re here,“ she said, eyes scanning the izakaya as they stepped in. “I’m happy to treat you, just as long as we’re on the some page that this is not a date.“ That remark was more for the benefit of anyone observing them than it was for Kakashi. She was reasonably certain he didn’t intend this to be anything more than an outing with a comrade.
Anko plopped herself down in the booth with sigh. It felt nice to be off her feet after a busy day of running errands for the Hokage. She left the menu lying open on the table as she returned her attention to her companion. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you or something like that. We are friends, of course. It’s just we’re far too incompatible to be a couple.“ Reaching across, she patted Kakashi’s shoulder. “Besides, you’re more like an older brother to me! Don’t you agree, Onii-chan?“ she chuckled.
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fox-mother · 4 years
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Hi!! I was wondering what Kushina-san's opinion was on Minato inducting Kakashi into the Anbu at age 13, since she was clearly aware of Kakashi following her around most of the time. Did she agree with his decision?
I’ve just woken up so this may not make much sense, I will do my best to explain what I believe her opinion is on the matter, seeing as she does indeed have one to share.
In the past, I have mentioned how Kushina was very displeased with Minato’s decision to integrate Kakashi into the Anbu at the tender age of 13. His choice didn’t go unpunished, mind, but over time she was forced to accept it. What good was her opinion on the matter when Minato didn’t even consider what she’d said to him? Did he not understand the levels of trauma that would be cultivated due to this choice? 
Kushina is no mental health expert- despite having her own issues that she’s got a pretty good understanding of- but she can see what Kakashi’s going through and she knows that the kind of environment that the Anbu creates is not going to help him get better. However, she also knows that Minato knows no better. He can’t see any other solution to this problem and he placed Kakashi there because what other option did he have? Kakashi was too young for a genin team, therapy just isn’t a thing and Kakashi has expressly stated that he doesn’t want Minato and Kushina’s help when dealing with his trauma. The Anbu, where Kushina was and could help him without him noticing, is the only option for him beyond forcing Kakashi into early retirement and he knows how damaging that will be to their relationship as mentor and student.
When Kushina initially found out about the choice, she exploded at Minato and let him know exactly what she thought of his decision. It was an explosion- mind- that physically shattered glass and left the mighty Yellow Flash a quivering wreck on the floor of his office as his wife towered over him while shouting every obscenity she could think of at him. With no way to get a word in edgeways, Minato was resigned to accepting Kushina’s tirade. It soon became apparent that he understood why Kushina was so angry at him and he hastily had to explain why he did what he did. 
Kushina was still very angry but with no alternative, she accepted it begrudgingly. She began helping Kakashi from within as his Captain who was willing to have an open ear to her comrades and who always had advice for their problems. Until… Fox disappeared and he no longer has that support. Fox, being Kushina, was on maternity leave. She was soon assigned Kakashi, who watched over her from the six-month mark onwards. Kushina had to become far more obvious with her desire to help and she treated Kakashi less like a haunting shadow and more like a son who needed a little comfort. He may not have accepted this help but she willingly opened her door to him when he did need her, no matter what time of night it was. 
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himekushinada · 4 years
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@HimeKushinada Mājutsu AU Character Cheat Sheet
Character Name: Kushina Uzumaki
Age: 15 Years, birth date 10 October
School Year: Fifth Year Student
Hogwarts House: Gryffindor
Head of House: Sakumo Hatake
Wand: Red Oak. Unicorn Hair Core. 10 ½ Inches. Swishy.
Patronus Future:  Fox
Familiar: A scruffy, fat Hamster with one eye named Shio (after the Ramen).
Go-to Spell:  ‘Accio’ as she has the tendency to always lose things in her haste and excitement.
Favourite Professor: Sakumo Hatake- he seems to have a lot of faith in her abilities and is always warm and patient towards her, making her enjoy his given lessons a lot; even though her potions always seem to turn brown or bubble over the brim of her cauldron. She also has a high regard for Mitō Uzumaki, not due to their blood relation but due to all of the witch’s many accomplishments (she was after all Order of Merlin: First Class).
Family Members:
Least Favourite Professor: Danzo Shimūra, that mummy was a super grouch, ya know! And he was always staring at her friends whenever he thought that they weren’t looking.
Subjects: Potions (Favoured ⭐), Charms (Favoured ⭐), Transfiguration, Astronomy (Favoured⭐) , Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Defence Against the Dark Arts (Favoured ⭐ though only the subject matter not the professor, damn sneering mummy), Flying (Favoured ⭐) , Muggle-Studies, Divination.
Clubs: Duel Club; S.P.E.W (Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare); Official Hogwarts Gobstone Club; Chudley Cannons Fan Club; Knitting Club.
Likes: Quidditch Practice; Honeyduke's sweets; Zonko’s Joke Shop; Chatting; Trying new recipes; Butter Beer; Ramen noodles and collecting pretty and rare quills. She used to have a penchant for pranks, but then she received a shiny, Prefect’s badge in her school supplies’ envelope. Big surprise.
Dislikes: Coffee; Perverts; Being called a Tomato; losing; disappointing the people she cares about; Boring Prefect rounds; Unfair treatment of others; Wizarding politics and Blood Feuds; Rainy days; Bitter/Sour tasting snacks; being made to wait and Doxies (nasty things, she has a small scar on her right knee to prove as much).
Quidditch Team/Position: Gryffindor Seeker (Though in all honesty she believes that she would make just as good of a Chaser or Beater).
Blood Status: Pure Blood
Both of her parents are deceased. She currently lives with her aunt and cousins (of which she has a few, both direct and twice removed, since her family had a tendency to marry into other prominent, Pure Blood families)
Character Habbits/Characteristics: Kushina has a bottomless pit of energy, always talking and always on the move. It’s not surprising that she is the first one to wake within her dorm every morning. She carries her emotions on her sleeve and has a notable, verbal tic when flustered or excited. She’s headstrong and not easily swayed in her beliefs. She enjoys cooking and always uses her friends as testing dummies whenever she comes up with a new recipe. Since joining the Hogwarts knitting club she’s been drowning all of those willing and unwilling in outrageously colourful knitwear ranging from scarves to wand-warmers. Though mostly Cheerful and level-headed, she is also quick to anger at any injustice show or things she finds off-putting like Peeves, the Baron or Jiraiya’s voyeurisms. Though not academically keen, Kushina possesses unusually fast reactions; a light touch and an easy adaptability between both offensive and defensive magic, marking her as an impeccable duellist.
Friends/Known Acquaintances: With her tomboyish demeanour she really struggled to make friends during her first year at Hogwarts. It took a blonde Flake to see passed her fists and infuriated scowls and the patient encouragement of her professors, before she finally found her niche and started to talk to other people instead of stomping on them. Now she has lots of friends and was even a member of (all of the important) Hogwarts Clubs. Now stomping was left for the Quidditch Pitch, only.
Physical Traits:  Her most notable traits are her flowing red hair (there was just so much of it) and her violet eyes. She could also pack a punch more powerful and damaging than her thin wrists and slender fingers would suggest.
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Dream for the Future: Her dream is to one day be as well-respected and powerful as Professor Mito (a true idol for all young Witches) and for all of her friends to be happy and healthy.
@Konohagakurekakashi @senjutsunade @Jiraiya-Legendary-Sannin @minaa-munch @uchihaa-itachi @better-than-the-basilisk
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@Jiraiya-Legendary-Sannin Mājutsu AU Character Cheat Sheet
Character Name: Jiraiya Myōboku
Age: 15 Years, birth date 11 November
School Year: Fifth Year Student
Hogwarts House: Gryffindor
Head of House: Sakumo Hatake
Wand: Maple Wood. Unicorn Hair Core. 9 Inches. Mild Flexibility.
Patronus: Bull Frog
Familiar: A toad named Gamabūnta
Favourite Professor: Hiruzen Sarutobi, as he has yet to receive a detention slip from him.
Go-to Spell: The 'Disillusionment Charm' was the first thing Jiraiya perfected as it enabled him to better blend into the girl’s lavatory. He has yet to find a way to best the staircase leading to the Gryffindor Girl’s Dorm, however-but it is a work in progress.
Least Favourite Professor: Tobirama Senju, the man had no sense of humour.
Subjects: Potions, Charms (Favoured ⭐), Transfiguration, Astronomy, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures (Favoured ⭐), Defence Against the Dark Arts, Flying (Favoured ⭐), Muggle-Studies (Favoured ⭐), Divination.
Clubs: If Detention was a club- he would be in it; Duel Club--does not have much time for anything else in between his voyeurisms, punishments and mapping out possible book ideas.
Likes: The Prefect’s Bathroom on the 5th floor, Hogsmeade Weekends, adventure books, quidditch practice, working on ideas for his own novels, trickle tarts, the occasional sneaky sip of Fire Whiskey (he knows someone who is someone at the Hogshead) , Kabuki poses, toads, he also has a few muggle magazines stashed in his trunk (mostly of a questionable nature) since he knows it will annoy Tsunade and Kushina. Riling up people is definitely his second favourite pastime. He’s on a ‘best buddies for life’ standing with Peeves the Poltergeist. No one knows how this came about.
Dislikes: The fact that his dearest friends are all perfect prefects; homework; detention; Wizarding Politics and Blood Feuds; Portrait of the Fat Lady (she always finds a way to refuse him entry!!?); Bertie Bots Every Flavoured Beans (cue vivid, war flashbacks); cats; Moaning Myrtle; being tied down by everyday routine.
Quidditch Team/Position: Gryffindor Keeper (he’s been holding the position since his 3rd year at Hogwarts).
Family Members:
[Father] Muggle. Writer. Deceased
[Mother] Muggle. Theatre Actress. Deceased.
[Siblings] None, only child.
*He lives with his old, crazy uncle named Fukasaku (an infamous, Muggle-Born Magizoologist)
Blood Status: Muggle-Born
Friends/Known Acquaintances: With his boisterous, friendly personality Jiraiya is friends with most of the students within his year, as well as a few of the younger students. The students in the years above him (more so the female students) tend to avoid him as much as possible, since he has a habit of spying on them under the pretext of gathering intel for his soon to be published novels or essays.
Physical Traits: Tall, bulky, with spikey white hair. His uniform is also in various stages of disarray. Tucking in his shirt or fastening his tie is a foreign concept.
Character Habbits/Characteristics: Generally light hearted and gregarious; Jiraiya is known to make numerous jokes at his own expense, though never at others. He’s fiercely loyal to his House and feels immense guilt over the fact that he’s constantly costing Gryffindor House Points. He has a knack for holding up his classes since he loves making dramatic, winded introductions and entrances. He makes a point of always disappearing on his friends as soon as the tab arrives during Hogsmeade Weekends, resulting in them having to pay for his drinks and overly priced snacks. He’s horrible at the theoretical aspect of studying, finding it exceptionally difficult to memorise course work, but he excels at the physical aspect of magic, especially Charms.
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Dream for the Future: He would like to travel the world, both magical and muggle and go on various adventures worth remembering -living by no one’s rules but his own.
@senjutsunade @minaa-munch @uchihaa-itachi @Konohagakurekakashi @himekushinada @better-than-the-basilisk
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@better-than-the-basilisk​ Character Sheet || Majutsu AU
Character Name: Orochimaru
Age: 15 Years, birth date October 27
School Year: Fifth Year Student
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw
Head of House: Tobirama Senju
Wand: Fir, Dragon Heart-string core, 11 ½ inches, hard flexibility.  
Patronus: Taipan
Familiar: A small black mamba named Manda
Favourite Professor: Hiruzen Sarutobi, Senju Tobirama, and Uzumaki Mito (He admires how knowledgeable they are)
Go-to Spell: Silencio (can you imagine how annoyingly chatty young sorcerers can be?), Aparecium, and ever since he became a prefect, Levicorpus.
Least Favourite Professor: Uchiha Kagami (Divination is a load of hogwash and no one can convince him otherwise) Orochimaru had dropped the subject after a single class.  
Subjects: Potions (Favoured ⭐), Charms, Transfiguration (Favoured ⭐), Astronomy, Herbology (Favoured ⭐), Care of Magical Creatures (Favoured ⭐), Defence Against the Dark Arts (Favoured ⭐), Study of Ancient Runes (Favoured ⭐), Arithmacy  (Favoured ⭐), Muggle Studies
Clubs: ROOT, Wizarding Chess Club, Duelling Club
Likes: The library, an assortment of herbal teas, and his solitude. Orochimaru is obsessed with mastering every spell, charm, and potion out there. As such, he is prone to frequent the library, the dungeons and even the green houses. He also likes frequenting Knockturn Alley, as well as other less-than-notorious spots in Hogsmeade.
Dislikes: Pure-bloods, ignorance, some Gryffindors (which was basically a synonym for all sort of ape-esque noises), Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, Zonko’s Joke Shop,
Quidditch Team/Position: Ew
Family Members:
[Father] Half-blood, deceased
[Mother] Unknown
[Siblings] None, only child.
*He lives with his squib of an aunt. The woman is decent, though they have their fair share of differences. Orochimaru prefers spending the holidays at Hogwarts.
Blood Status: Half-Blood
Friends/Known Acquaintances: Socialising is for the lesser, cognitively endowed, though he supposed he could tolerate Senju Tsunade (only because her skill in potion making was admirable). A few juniors had caught his eye recently, but he wasn’t going to talk to them anytime soon.
Physical Traits: Tall and lanky, with paper-pale skin and long, dark hair. His uniform is always immaculate, and seldom would one find a speck of dust on his person.
Character Habits/Characteristics: Orochimaru is extremely ambitious with regards to his quest for knowledge – to the extent that he is known to frequent his teachers’ offices after class, and any other time he can find. Seldom a book can claim to not have been read by the boy, since he spends most of his time in the library. As such, he is not prone to socialising with the general student body sans a select few – it isn’t until he is unceremoniously tasked with being a prefect that he begins to interact with his peers more; though mostly in a strict, business-esque capacity.
Unless said peer happened to be Jiraiya, of course. If all else fails, a quick silencio often does the trick.
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Dream for the Future: He would like to master every spell and potion out there; from the tiniest wisps of magic in ancient scriptures to the deadliest spells archived in the forbidden magic section.
@senjutsunade​, @konohagakurekakashi​, @himekushinada​, @uchihaa-itachi​, @minaa-munch​
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konohagakurekakashi · 1 month
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Detective Verse - #Blind Incandescence
[Text - 12:44 pm]: Can you NOT focus on the formatting and actually work on FINISHING your reports for ONCE?
She isn't mentioning how they are actually HER reports that he is being made to type.
[Text - 12:46pm]: Yare, yare...and here I thought to provide some striking, visual stimulation in a drab, corporate environment.
[Text - 12:47pm]: Also, can these really be considered as /my/ reports, Tsunade-sama?
He highly doubts this, seeing as he's always been more of a coffee-ring-napkin kind of guy.
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senjutsunade · 1 month
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NOSTALGIA!
T_T
@konohagakurekakashi
@minaa-munch
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heartofswords · 3 years
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Threads Archive
With @foxnined (Naruto)
The Future is looking bright
With @thewillofacherryblossom (Sakura)
A toast to Konoha
With @oh-my-hashirama (Hashirama)
All work and no play make Tobi a dull boy
With @minaa-munch (Minato)
Lay me down (on golden dandelions)
With @ophidae (Orochimaru)
Brave enough
Life was born in the ocean
With @senjuofthesea (Tobirama)
Double trouble
The problem with clones
With @inimas (Obito)
A kitten in the night
With @dokuhebi (Orochimaru)
The snake came back
With @narasnooze (Shikamaru)
The stag and the leopard
With @konohagakurekakashi​ (Kakashi)
The twilight of our lives
With @asaraltu (Madara)
The mission from hell
With @moralreflection (Kakashi)
A new beginning
With @jinchuriikage​ 
The wisdom of the fox (Kushina)
With @morinosenju (Hashirama)
Unearthing secrets
With @shikkotsunin (Sakura)
The fight for the sea
With @eyecanfixthat (Shisui)
All we have done
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minaa-munch · 4 years
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of Cake and Cream - Team Flake Edition
Two layers of exquisite vanilla and peach sponge, coated with a generous amount of buttercream icing that consisted of crushed sakura and momo no hana petals. Candied petals adorned the top and the sides with an artistic flair, while soft, perfect swirls of buttercream bordered the edges. The cake on its own, was like an edible jewel put on a wooden stand. 
The swirl in the middle glistened with fresh strawberry puree that had been mixed with a tinge of caramel. It was still fresh, so one could see the pinpricks of strawberry seeds that had been left on purpose.
Obito wanted to poke it so badly. Charcoal hues kept straying towards it while their sensei spoke. 
“Rin and I need to make a quick trip to the Medical Corps for a report she submitted.” The blond was in his usual, blue uniformed attire, though without the hitaite. Besides him, Rin was winding a scarf around her shoulders. 
“We’ll be back soon.” Minato may as well have been talking solely to Kakashi, since the Uchiha was too busy ogling the treat that looked divine (and probably tasted just as well, seeing as how talented the Jōnin and Rin were in the kitchen). It was good enough, since Kakashi kept nodding like the solemn little shinobi he was while Obito hummed on periodic intervals to indicate that he was listening. 
Sorta. Maybe if he poked the tip of the swirly thingy—
“I’m counting on you.” He snapped to attention just as blue hues slid towards him, “Both of you. Make sure Kushina doesn’t come here. Stall her if you have to.” 
“Hai, sensei” The duo responded, with Obito raising two fingers in a salute for good measure, “You can count on me!” 
Satisfied, Minato turned to Rin, gesturing for her to follow. The Iryō nin smiled, but it slid off the minute his back was turned. Brown hues narrowed at her teammates in warning, which was probably more effective than their sensei’s words. 
I’m always watching you, neh?
Both boys immediately straightened - and promptly stayed that way until her lingering gaze had disappeared out the door. 
“About time they left.” Kakashi was the first to speak. Pale fingers rubbed an exposed part of his left arm; a wound had scabbed over recently and it was annoyingly itchy. Rin had given him some ointment to deal with it, but it wasn’t that cumbersome. Besides, it would take more than a scrape to put him out of commission. 
At the moment though, he didn’t know what bothered him more - the fact that he had yet to hear about his Jōnin promotion or that he had been assigned a C rank mission with the sole crybaby of the team. He was perfectly capable of protecting his sensei’s loud girlfriend’s birthday surprise.
Speaking of - dark hues flickered to the Uchiha, slapping his hand from where he was about to poke one of the perfect cream swirls. “Sensei said not to touch anything, baka.”  
But it looks so…fluffy. “What are you, my grandma?” Obito grumbled, rubbing his slightly pink fingers. Trust the Hatake to act like an old lady, since he projected a particularly grumpy old man half the time. 
Ah but who was he kidding? Most of the old people he knew (which were a lot) were nice and polite. Kakashi was, simply put, a jerk. “Ne, you think sensei and Kushina nee will get married?” There was a curious tilt in his tone, before his attention was once again captured by the delicate, rosy swirls decorating the top layer, “I mean..I hear we’re almost at war anyways.”
“Sensei can’t be that stupid.” his friend’s reply was instantaneous, and not without a barely hidden scoff, “He’s a Jōnin and a Hokage candidate…that loud girlfriend of his will only hinder his performance as a shinobi.”
“Ano…don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?”
“Well, there’s a reason why you’re still a Chunin and I’m practically a Jōnin.”
Jerk. “You’re not a Jōnin yet, Bakashi.” Obito snapped, one finger successfully managing to swipe just a sliver of icing which was promptly deposited on the unsuspecting Hatake’s face, “Besides, doubt you’ll be a Jōnin with reflexes like that.”
“Oi, you weren’t supposed to touch that” Kakashi hissed, rubbing the offending wetness away with the back of his palm before grey hues narrowed a fraction at his idiot teammate, “this is a mission, baka. Would it kill you to follow the rules for once?” 
“I was careful” Came an all-too sunny reply, though the tell tale icing on his own cheek suggested otherwise, “Besides, its your fault.”
“Is not”
“Is too”
Arguing more was pointless - especially where the Uchiha was concerned. Instead, Kakashi decided on his patented glower which was met with a splatter of cream, courtesy one twirling wooden spoon between said Uchiha’s fingers – who was currently laughing his behind off. Normally, it wouldn’t be enough to faze the Hatake - his opponents had laughed at him before, primarily because of how small he was. Kakashi never failed to make them eat dirt later. 
But this was Obito and he was an idiot who knew just the right buttons to push. Pale digits curled into fists as a peach flush tinged his features (he was not pouting). Grey hues caught a bowl of leftover cream and it didn’t take him long to scoop a generous amount and send it careening towards Obito.
The splatter was satisfying, and clearly, an invitation for war. Needless to say, by the time their relatively chipper teammate returned, the kitchen was in shambles (polite term). A fine layer of cream coated most of the counter and splattered the shoddy kitchen appliances. A stick of butter had found its way in a pot of coffee, whereas the leftover strawberries formed a sticky mess on the floor; and a particularly sloppy mush of fruit and leftover icing in which the Hatake was rubbing Obito’s goggled face in.
The cake, surprisingly, had been left intact, which was a good thing seeing as how Rin had been contemplating turning her teammates into cake batter if they ruined their (her and sensei’s, of course) hard work. The Iryō nin could only watch from the doorway as the two boys clawed at each other. Resisting the urge to sigh like the all suffering adult she was, the Nohara instead cleared her throat, soft features already set in a frown, “What are you two doing?” 
Freeze (though Obito still managed to pull Kakashi’s bangs in a final, feeble gesture). “I-its not what it looks like, Rin chan.” Obito stammered from where his cheek was pressed against the sticky tile. Arms flailing, he tried to push the Hatake off and failed, “Ah mou! Its his fault!”
Kakashi practically bristled (it was less intimidating because of the squished strawberry oozing down his forehead) and in one smooth movement, had the Uchiha’s arm twisted in a classic lock behind his back, “A good shinobi doesn’t lie, baka.”
“Get off you freaky little gremlin!” Obito’s fingers spasmed uselessly in his hold and Rin couldn’t help but thank the fates that she had convinced their sensei to make a detour to the supermarket for a few ingredients. He would be so disappointed.
Speaking of– “Guys, quit it already. Sensei will be back any minute.” The Nohara unwound the scarf from around her shoulders before gingerly stepping inside. Normally, Rin was the more careful of the three, though the floor was sticky and cream had somehow managed to get everywhere. 
Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t aware of the entirety of ‘everywhere’ - no sooner had she stepped in did her foot slip on a splatter of broken egg and sugar. Arms flailing, the poor Iryō nin stumbled, hands finding little purchase against the slippery counter before crashing against her teammates with a soft whump. 
“Ow”
“Rin chan, are you okay? Get off her Bakashi!”
“I’m not on her, idiot.” Kakashi hissed through the flush decorating his face (or could be the leftover strawberry, it was hard to tell). The poor Hatake was smaller than the other two, and had conveniently been sandwiched between them - and if that wasn’t mortifying enough for a Jōnin, he didn’t know what was.
Well…almost Jōnin. Either way – pale digits pushed her off (though not before elbowing the loud idiot by accident) before he clambered off his filthy teammate’s back. Grey hues narrowed at the dirty tiles before flickering to Rin, just as the girl caught the table’s ledge, causing it - and the pastry - to tip precariously. Kakashi opened his mouth to warn her, but the cake tumbled before his words did.
Maa…what a waste.
The resounding crash, along with her squeal, was loud enough to make him cringe. By that point, Obito had gotten up with a hand on his abused cheek, dark orbs set in a patented Uchiha deadpan before the noise prompted him to turn. 
And…well, quake like a little scuttle bug because Rin looked murderous (and kind of cute - but mostly murderous) with the bottom half of their hard earned labor awkwardly squashed against the top of her head. If their circumstances had been any different, he would have compared it to a fancy old lady’s hat, you know, the kind with feathers on it?  
Except this one was edible and the owner’s eyes were welling up with tears – angry tears, mind you - but tears, nevertheless. “Ano…” The Uchiha swallowed as Rin wordlessly, yet carefully, removed the cake from her head, mindful of the ruined bottom half, “It…looks better this way?” He added, creeping slowly yet surely behind his younger teammate. 
Wrong answer, if the murderous gaze directed their way was any indication. Both boys blanched, and Obito had the good sense to whimper as the Nohara launched herself at them with a barely concealed snarl. Cue a pandemonium which involved more sticks of butter, broken egg shells and what was left of the cream and icing - amidst Obito’s yelling of course. The cake, their collective pride and joy, was lost in the fray; its top half stuck to the ceiling while the other half found itself splattered around the walls in haste.
There may have been a stray, poorly attempted wind jutsu thrown in for good measure, which would certainly explain why an egg shell flew out the window with the speed of a kunai, only to land against the ground like a sad, lonesome martyr. It just so happened that a certain Namikaze had been making his way back by the time it had chosen to sacrifice itself, and had almost stepped on it by accident. Blue hues blinked at it curiously, almost slowly, before following its trajectory which…
Wait, was that his kitchen window? Minato flickered to the Hiraishin seal he had placed in his living room without a second thought. Depositing the bags on the floor, he quickly dashed towards the kitchen, fingers already pulling out one of his signature kunai because they were on the brink of war as it were. Not that he sensed any alien chakra signatures, but one could never be too careful. 
Besides, his kids were in there. Kunai raised in his usual stance, Minato paused at the door, expecting an Iwa rogue–
Only to find three pre-teens locked in a battle to the death with – a whisk? Rin had her arms around her struggling teammates - okay, maybe that was just Obito. Kakashi hung in her grip, as if resigned to his fate with a deadpan that could rival Fugaku’s. All three of them were splattered with an assortment of cream and squished fruit, and— Kami, what had happened to his kitchen?! He could barely discern the cream from the walls and the numerous splatters of broken eggs and sugar. Some of it had found its way on the ceiling too, if the steady drip of something over the door frame was anything to go by. 
All in all, a war torn mess. It would have been impressive if he wasn’t so horrified.  
The cake was nowhere to be found; though it was safe to assume that its splattered remains decorated the walls with the rest of his wayward ingredients. If he had been a lesser shinobi, he would have turned towards the heavens and asked why - why. 
But, as it turns out, he was a Jōnin sensei and had conveniently lost his ability to delve on his emotions, let alone express them as well as certain others (coughKushinamaybeInoichicough). So instead of repeatedly bashing his head against the nearest wall like a part of him wanted to, he did what any responsible sensei would - allow a sliver of his chakra, tinged with the barest of killing intent, to announce his presence.
It worked like a charm. Rin and Obito froze (Kakashi merely grunted), as the three watched their sensei step into the kitchen, sandals making an odd crunch (probably another egg shell) as he did. Minato’s gaze never left theirs as he approached, his narrowed hues a clear indication of his displeasure.
He wasn’t…that angry. Truth to be told, making another cake was hardly cumbersome work – what bothered him was the fact that he had given them one job. It didn’t even matter who was at fault; their teamwork was clearly amiss. Blond brows furrowed at the thought, and he stopped a few steps shy of the still tangled trio, “What have you got to say for yourselves?” 
Pause. At least they had the decency to look embarrassed - Rin in particular, looked like she was on the verge of tears and Minato couldn’t help but feel some of his annoyance ebb away. The Nohara was a seldom acknowledged soft spot, primarily because she was the most well behaved of the three. 
“A-ano…sensei” Obito spluttered, prompting the man to pause. The poor Uchiha barely had time to flounder a hand towards the ceiling before the creamy layer of what had been the cake lost its hold with a soft squelch.
And fell. Right on their sensei; Konoha’s Kiiroi Senkō, current Hokage candidate in opposition to Orochimaru of the Densetsu Sanin.
“…”
To the pastry’s credit, it was probably the only projectile the Yellow Flash had been unable to dodge and would probably go down in history as such. Buttercream frosting, along with what could be considered flecks of vanilla sponge, decorated blond hair and blue, clothed shoulders. The Namikaze raised a solitary palm just as a particularly creamy glop of ruined cake slid down his fringe, splattering against tan digits almost like a work of abstract art. 
Meep. Rin’s arms around their shoulders tightened just as icy blue hues met their own and Obito forgot how to breathe. 
“You three.” 
Said three collectively squeaked. 
EPILOGUE: 
In the end, the three were made to clean the kitchen - with their sensei eventually joining them out of sheer guilt (he couldn’t stay mad at them for more than seven minutes - today was a new record at the ten minute mark). Kushina found out, of course, and made enough pastry related jokes to put everyone at ease. 
Except Kakashi. He didn’t want to admit that her jokes were actually funny. 
With Kushina’s birthday surprise thoroughly ruined; they had to go to Ichiraku’s to celebrate. Needless to say, Minato’s wallet (apart from one legendary cake that will forever be remembered) suffered the most that day. 
@konohagakurekakashi @strawberry-medic
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uchihaa-itachi · 4 years
Text
The Blond Wonder [Text 18:23]: Come on senpai, please?
Itachi [Text 18:23] No
The Blond Wonder [Text 18:23] At least let me try! Sakura chan said it did wonders for her reading group, tebayo
Itachi [Text 18:24] That girl from the library? Didn’t I tell you to stop stalking her already? 
Itachi [Text 18:24] ...Did you rename yourself on my phone? 
The Blond Wonder [Text 18:24] That’s beside the point 
The Blond Wonder [Text 18:25] And I don’t stalk her! Maybe if you got out more you’d realize what a normal conversation looked like tebayo =_=*
Itachi [18:25] Stay away from my desk, Uzumaki 
The Blond Wonder added Hatake Kakashi and Senju Tsunade
The Blond Wonder renamed the group “The Ramen Bowl”
The Blond Wonder [18:27] Back me up obaa chan, pervert senpai! 
@senjutsunade @konohagakurekakashi
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