One thing about Doom At Your Service
See, I have fallen in love with this drama way too much, and I like writing summaries and reviews, but I am going to get a bit personal, here.
DAYS is a masterpiece, I've said it before. The lines are poetic, the camerawork gets dreamy, sometimes, and the effects give that sense of fantasy that the world Myulmang lives in has.
Getting into Dongkyung's shoes seems too hard to do, unless you're terminally ill. I've never been a patient about to die because of an illness, but I did talk to my grandfather before he passed away. In fact, I was the one who took care of him when he had to stay home and eat from a tube. Being a terminally ill patient sucks. Having cancer sucks. And it infuriates people who just want to know when they will die, when you don't answer them. Would my grandfather had chosen to stay painless until he died? He would've said, no, I'm sure. Because although he would've died in peace, he would've died knowing he had cancer. And who was he, to die in a painless way when others had the same condition he had? But that was him.
I can't possibly think from my grandpa's perspective, but I do know I cried him a lot, just not physically. I still do, since I never showed my feelings at their fullest. And here is where I understand Dongkyung.
Dongkyung has always felt the need of hiding herself and her feelings. She wouldn't be able to bare herself if she were to make the ones she loves suffer, so she hides that she has cancer and, as soon as she has an opportunity not to show her pain, she takes it. She gets this opportunity because she wanted the world to end.
There is no need to talk about the contract Myulmang and Dongkyung have. It is there, it is what they chose. Why would love have anything to do with this?
Love, such a big word. Such a weird noun, even a weirder verb. When the contract gets tricky, you want to use it to your advantage, but how does loving someone so they die fall into the narrative? It is absurd. That is the exact same reason it takes so much -although, thinking about it now it doesn't seem so long- for them to truly admit their feelings -or even have said feelings. Dongkyung, loving Myulmang, has, ironically, called to her own doom. Why would she want to kill her loved one? It's better not to love. So she goes to an isolated place not to love. But you can't control feelings, they come and they go. Just, what is she thinking? I'm mad at her, why would she do something so stupid?
And then, I realized I do the same. Whenever it is too hard, I keep it to myself, I shut myself in, and blame myself for everything. I must find the answer, I must solve this on my own. It happened when I was in high school, it happened when I came home straight from uni, it happened every single time I was going through a rough path. So how could I not understand? I was being such a hypocrite.
Even if I am so in love that I could forget I am about to die, if I were to choose if I can go through all of this again, would I? Or would I choose to forget what I know, so my loved ones don't suffer? So my beloved could keep living -or existing- without me?
You bet that, although it is selfish, I would choose to forget. Because I wouldn't think my love is worth someone else's eternity. Losing me should not bring doom to the world. Losing my beloved shouldn't bring it, either.
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