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#korean practice sentences
etudieryvivere · 9 months
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Try speaking in front of a mirror
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING EXERCISE FOR THOSE LEARNING ANOTHER LANGUAGE:
speak to yourself in front of a mirror,and attempt to only use your target language
some guidelines i would use for beginners esp: try to use vocab you already might know (example: i speak _ language and i want to eat _ food), and try to keep speaking as long as possible. reiterate what you just said with a different sentence format, literally just speak as varied and as long as you are able to
this does a few things:
- shows what words and sentence structures you have a handle on
-what words you should learn next to keep speaking (words like for, this, now, tomorrow, yesterday) that dont always show up in vocab lists
-what you struggle with
-practices your speaking brain muscles, since you are only looking at yourself and not getting any assistance
others have probably already mentioned this, i feel like i heard about this from somewhere before but I can't remember but i just tried this and loved it
below i accidentally clicked the question button and couldnt delete it so now i ask you this question:
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korean-with-haneul · 1 year
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Korean Pronunciation tip#7
Silent 겹받침 (double consonants)
ㄹㄱ, ㄱㅅ, ㄴㅈ, ㄴㅎ, ㄹㅁ, ㄹㅍ, ㄹㅅ, ㄹㅌ, ㄹㅎ, ㄹㅂ, ㅂㅅ
ㄹㄱ:ㄱ
✧읽다 is pronounced as [익다]: To read
✧닭 is pronounced as [닥]: Chicken
ㄱㅅ:ㄱ
✧넋 is pronounced as [넉]: soul, spirit
✧몫 is pronounced as [목]: portion, share
✧품삯 is pronounced as [품삭]: wage, pay for manual labor work
ㄴㅈ:ㄴ
✧앉다 is pronounced as [안따]:to sit, to sit down
ㄴㅎ:ㄴ
✧많다 is pronounced as [만타]: to be a lot
ㄹㅁ:ㅁ
✧삶 is pronounced as [삼]: Life
✧닮다 is pronounced as [담따]: to resemble, take after, look like
ㄹㅍ:ㄹ or ㅂ
✧읊다 is pronounced as [을따] or [읍따] : to recire (a poem)
ㄹㅅ:ㄹ
✧외곬 is pronounced as [외골]: single-mindedness
ㄹㅌ:ㄹ or ㄷ
✧핥다 is pronounced as [할따] or [핟따]: to lick
ㄹㅎ: ㄹ
✧싫다 pronounced as [실타]: To not like, To dislike
ㄹㅂ:ㄹ
✧넓다 is pronounced as [널따]: to be large, spacious, roomy
✧밟다 is pronounced as [발따]: to step on, to trample
ㅂㅅ:ㅂ
✧값 is pronounced as [갑]: Price
✧없다 is pronounced as [업따]: to not have
But if a word ends with double consonants and is followed by ㅇ 이응 then both consonant are pronounced:
✧삶은 is pronounced as [살믄]: the life …
삶은 계속 진행돼요 Life goes on.
✧싫어 is pronounced as [시러]: i don't like
싫어요? Do you dislike it?
✧읽어요 is pronounced as [일거요]: i read
보통은 신문을 읽어요. I usually read the newspaper.
✧많아요 is pronounced as [마나요]: there's a lot of ...
모르는 게 너무 많아요. There are a lot of things that I don't know.
✧닭이 is pronounced as [달기]: the chicken
물과 양념을 넣고 닭이 익을 때까지 끓여요 Add water and seasoning and boil until chicken is cooked.
✧앉아 is pronounced as [안자]: I sit down
앉아도 될까요? May I sit down?
✧값이 is pronounced as [갑시]: the price, cost
값이 얼마였는지 기억이 안 나요 I don't remember how much it cost. I don't remember its cost/price
✧넓어요 is pronounced as [널버요]: to be large, huge, spacious
그것들의 폭은 매우 넓어요. The distance across them is very great.
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kashmirichaiwithmehr · 6 months
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allaganexarch · 3 months
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just had a vivid image of that interview where j-hope says something like "my......favorite color................green" and then gives the biggest sigh of relief like wow that is me saying anything in korean so real so true
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coffeeworldsasaki · 1 year
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I have to be honest i thought i could read German faster
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meowzers-mayhem · 22 days
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it feels like i'm getting kicked in the face every other second by the dunning kruger effect while re learning korean
like. yeah i could barely form a sentence and 우유‘s the only thing i could read but i didn't know i was THAT bad
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marksmelodies · 5 months
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hiii!! not sure if you’re taking request but if you are could you please make a 127 version of your “nct dream reactions to finding out you’re fwb/ secretly dating another member” ! i really loved your dream version and would love to read a 127 version (≧◡≦) thank you in advance ♡︎
hii thank you so much for requesting!! i am currently taking requests!!
i hope you enjoy!!
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nct127 reactions to finding out you’re fwb/ secretly dating another member
—————————————————————————
nct127 x fem reader
warnings: suggestive, sexual activity, oral (fem receiving) cussing,slight mentions of drugs
minors dni
—————————————————————————
taeil
the members sit around in the practice room debating on where to eat
“ yo let’s just order food” doyoung says as the group continues to discuss their food options
taeil then looks at his phone immediately getting up and getting his things ready to leave
“ hyung you’re not eating with us?” haechan asks
“ n-no i have somewhere to be” taeil stutters
“ where are you going?” doyoung asks but before he could finish his sentence taeil is out the door
quickly washing up and putting on a nice outfit he heads over to your place as you two go to the restaurant that you and him had planned on going
“ hello, do you have a reservation with us?” the host asked as jazz music played softly in the background
“ yeah it should be under moon taeil”
the host types his name into the computer as she furrows her brows
“ um sir, i have a reservation for the same time next week but nothing is coming up for today” the host says
you look at taeil as he stands there confused
“ what? i swear i made a reservation for tonight” he pulls out his phone to verify
“ oh my god i accidentally scheduled it for next week” he sighs as his shoulders slump
“ i’m sorry sir but we are all booked out for right now, if you give me your phone number i can call you if any reservations get cancelled but there’s a waiting list on that as well” the host explains
taeil felt defeated, he knew how much you wanted to eat at this restaurant, you had been talking about it for weeks
he looks to you as if he’s asking what you want to do
“ that’s alright, it’s no problem we’ll go somewhere else, you can cancel the reservation for next week too please, have a good night ” you say politely
taeil follows you out of the restaurant moping
“ babe i’m so sorry, i made that reservation after practice last week, i so tired i was out of it” taeil tries to apologize
“ awe taeil don’t feel bad it’s okay, honestly that place looked too fancy for me. what would you like to eat? i don’t mind at this point anything sounds good to me” you laugh
you’re always such a good sport in every situation, that’s one thing taeil loves so much about you, he can see right through you though, the restaurant wasn’t “too fancy” for you, you said that just to make him feel better.
“ let’s keep walking and see what else is around here” he suggests
and that’s how you ended up at a family owned korean barbecue place
sitting down at the table both of you already knowing what you want since you’ve been there more times than you can count
“ i’m sorry babe really”
“ taeil sweetheart it’s okay i swear ”
“ i’ll make it up to you tonight” he winks
“ oh come on don’t be all suggestive in the middle of a k- barbecue place please” you laugh
the food quickly arrives as you both start eating, conversations quickly become silent due to the both of you focusing so heavily on the food in front of you
hearing the front door chime neither of you notice that a mark, haechan, johnny, taeyong and doyoung walk through the door
“ holy shit is that taeil and y/n” mark says
“ dude shut up” johnny smacks his arm
spying on the two of you they see you laughing at him as you use your napkin to wipe sauce off his face before quickly kissing his lips
“ no way” the members gasp before shuffling one by one out the door
“ dude they’re on a date” mark says
“ yeah no shit” johnny replies
haechan laughs as he seems to be typing something on this phone and then putting in his back pocket walking away from the restaurant window
everyone’s phone buzzes moments later as they open the message sent to the group chat
a picture capturing you and taeils kiss that had just happened in the restaurant was sent with a message underneath stating “ you two have something to tell us?”
you and taeil pick up your phones at the same time before you eyes widen at the message
“ how did he even-” you begin to say
“ man i get any privacy around here” taeil laughs slightly
“ we have stalkers and their name is lee donghyuck” you roll your eyes laughing
johnny:
the last time you had talked to johnny was moments ago ending with him saying he was on his way home from practice, quickly you drove over to his place, putting on the lingerie set he bought you last week, setting up your sex playlist to the bluetooth speaker and dimming the lights while some candles around the room burn
you wanted to do something nice for johnny due to how hard he has been working with comeback and promotions, you’ve noticed his mood was more drained than usual this week , so you being the amazing girlfriend you are, you decided to do something special for him tonight
as you hear the door open you situate yourself on his bed, laying in a very revealing position there wasn’t much left to the imagination with the lingerie set you had on
swinging the door open a sweaty jaehyun appeared in the doorway
both taking a second to realize what’s happening you quickly scream pulling a blanket over yourself
“ holy shit..fuck, i’m so sorry” jaehyun yells covering his eyes trying to find the doorknob before practically running out of the room
it doesn’t take long for johnny to come into the room after hearing the commotion
“ y/n what is goi-” johnny stops mid sentence putting two into together
“ oh my god” he can’t help but laugh at your mortified state
“ john stop laughing, my pussy was quite literally in jaehyuns face” you shove your face into the pillow
he catches his breath before opening his mouth again
“ at least it wasn’t mark, he would’ve cum in his pants right then and there”
you shove him off of you as he tries to pull you into a hug
“ i’m never surprising you again” you say as your face remains red
after putting on decent clothes you go out to the living room meeting face to face with jaehyun who is sitting at the kitchen table
“ i’m so sorry” you say
“ no i’m sorry” he laughs it off
“ ouuu your eyes are so red” johnny laughs pointing to jaehyuns ears
“ dude can you blame me, i just saw a naked woman right in front of me”
“ my naked woman” johnny kisses your lips
“ when the fuck did you two get together and why was i not informed?” jaehyun asks
“ i mean technically we’re not together” you say
“ yet” johnny adds
jaehyun rests his head in his arms before looking up at the two of you
“ im sorry i ruined your sex plans, never would i think to be the one cockblocking” jaehyun gets up as he heads to the front door
“ no one speaks a word of what happened” he says as you and johnny agree
“ wait what happened?” johnny says trying to be funny
jaehyun scoffs before walking out of the door leaving you and johnny alone at last
“ well that was fun” johnny lightens the mood
by the look on your face he can tell you were genuinely upset
“ hey it’s okay, i’m sorry this happened baby but i had no idea you would be here especially basically naked” he coos
you look to the ground
“ i just wanted to do something special for you since you’ve been working really hard”
“ let’s do a redo okay?” he says before letting you scurry back to the bedroom as he walks out of his apartment waiting to walk right back through the door on your command
taeyong:
you haven’t heard much from taeyong today, he must have been super busy with work, that was until a “ you up?” text message popped up on your screen
you knew exactly what that meant
and as much as you wanted to deny it, you wanted it too
answering him quickly he tells you to join him in the studio
getting ready didn’t take long considering the clothes you wore to his studio were going to get stripped off of you in the matter of seconds once you got there.
and you were right
walking through the door you saw taeyong his headphones on nodding his head to the beat of the music
walking behind him you placed your hands on his shoulders causing him to slightly jump
“ geez you scared me, at least text me letting me know you’re here” he says
“ sorry i didn’t think about it” you pout
“ oh don’t pout sweet girl i was only joking” he stands up giving you a big hug
he sits down in his hair again but this time pulling you into his lap along with him
it doesn’t take long for you both to become touchy with each other, you kissed his neck as he moves his hands up and down your back
slightly grinding into his clothed cock he begins to whine
taeyong pulls your face up to look at him before he smashes his lips onto yours
“ tae i need you” you plead
he stands up placing you onto the desk before taking your shirt off while sucking on your tits
“ oh my god” you moan as he flips your skirt up moving your underwear to the side and entering his fingers into your pussy
through your loud moans you couldn’t hear anything else around you
not even the door opening as johnny stands there in the doorway
“ jesus christ where’s the decorum” johnny says gaining both of your attention
you quickly scramble off of eachother pulling your shirt and skirt down
“ since when were you two fucking” johnny asks
“ for a while man, what do you need?” taeyong
johnny stands there a second before answering
“ honestly i dont remember, continue whatever your doing i guess but next time for the love of god.. lock the door” he says before leaving
yuta:
the night was getting later and later as the music played and the members all drunkenly sang along to it
you were hanging out with the members as you usually do, perks of being johnnys best friend
but tonight everyone had way too much to drink and no one’s thoughts were clear
“ let’s play a game” jungwoo suggests
everyone agreed on two truths and a lie
everyone expect yuta.
at first the topics were lame, things such as blacking out before and smoking weed were mentioned but as the game progressed things became a lot more interesting
“ okay umm, i once threw up in johnnys shoe because i was so drunk, i almost accidentally posted a video of me jerking off on bubble and i hooked up with y/n before” haechan says
you immediately looked to haechan and then to yuta
“ oh come on man that’s so easy, we all know you didn’t fuck y/n” mark says
everyone agrees with mark
“ okay fine you’re right that didn’t happen but shit i wish it would’ve” haechan says slurring his words
you can tell that yuta wants nothing more than to bash haechans head in right now
you look to yuta giving him “ it’s okay calm down” look
“ dude i know like she’s so fine” taeyong agrees with haechan
“ i bet her pussy is just as pretty as she is” jaehyun says as he palms the boner in his pants that had occurred due to the topic of you
yutas face is red with anger as he tries his best not to say anything but as he notices all of their hungry eyes on you and jaehyun nearly stroking his clothed dick at the thought of fucking you made yuta snap
“ you guys realize she’s right here, she can hear everything you guys saying, you don’t think that’s completely disgusting” yuta stands up
“ yuta stop” you say trying to calm him down
“ no” he pulls his arm away from you
“the fact that you all can sit here and say those things about my girlfriend when i’m right here is fucking disrespectful, you’re lucky if i don’t beat the shit out of you”
the room goes silent
“ girlfriend?” haechan says completely out of it
“ bro we didn’t know you were dating” jaehyun defends
“ it doesn’t fucking matter whether we are or not it’s so wrong in so many ways to sit here and sexualize her like that” yuta gets up and walks out the front door
you run chasing after him
finally catching up with him you pull his arm so he is facing you
wrapping your arms around him you give him a hug before kissing his lips
“ thank you for doing that babe, really i love you so much” you say
“ you shouldn’t thank me, i didn’t do that just because im your boyfriend you know, i would’ve done it either way”
“ i know, but im grateful for you sticking up for me, i know they’re just drunk and horny but you’re right it doesn’t feel good to be talked about like an object” you place your head into his chest
“ don’t worry about me exposing our relationship, none of them will remember anything from tonight” he says raking his hands through your hair”
“ i don’t care anymore i want everyone to know that we’re together” you say looking up to him
he kisses your lips once more “ lets go back inside im sure they’re all passed out by now” he says leading you back into the dorm
doyoung:
“ does anyone know where my game controller went” haechan shouts as he looks all over the dorms
“ i dont know the last time you had it was when we played with doyoung in his room” marks says
haechan makes his way to doyoungs room, he knew it was wrong to look through doyoung stuff but he really needed his game controller
looking through some of the drawers he still hasn’t found it
pulling out another drawer haechan notices something, amongst the boxers taking up space in the drawer there was a pink lace thong sitting in it as well
“ what the fuck” haechan says closing the drawer
opening up the next one which he had to pull extra hard on for it to open sits a bunch of polaroid pictures, haechan can’t help but pick the pictures up
the imagines showed you sprawled out on his bed naked
haechans eyes widen as he realize that it is you in the photos
“ he’s fucking y/n?”
haechan closes the drawer before leaving the room
as he exits doyoung room he meets face to face with you
“ y/n um hi, what are you doing here” haechan turns bright red
“ i’m here to return this” you say handing him his controller “ i accidentally grabbed yours instead of mine” you laugh
“ oh thanks i was just looking for it in doyoungs room” he says
looking down at the obvious tent in his pants
his eyes widen looking back to you as you can’t help but laugh at the poor boys state
“ im guessing you opened a certain one of doyoungs drawers” you say
his face becomes red as he scratches the back of his neck
“ i was just looking for the controller” he stutters
“ it’s okay hyuck don’t be embarrassed, i told him to put a lock on it or something, how about we don’t tell anyone about this though huh? it’s our little secret” you say
“ yeah um of course” he replies
before haechan could go back to his room doyoung walks through the door
“ hey y/n” he says leaving soft lingering touches on your body
usually this would go unnoticed by haechan but after what he found out today he was picking up on all the little signs
“ what’s wrong with you, you look like you saw a ghost” doyoung asks haechan as they stand in the hallway
“ oh um. nothing..” haechan says pushing past you both to return to his room
“ he looked nervous” doyoung says looking to you
“ i don’t know maybe he saw something he shouldn’t have” you mumble
“ huh” doyoung furrows his eyebrows not hearing what you said
“ oh i said it’s probably nothing, let’s go lay down” you say smirking as you pull him into his room
jaehyun:
jaehyun had just come back from tour but with the members constantly being home there was no way for you two to have any alone time, it was torture for the both of you to be in a room together and not be able to fuck.. let alone look at each other for too long but today the members all had solo schedules so jaehyun took that as his time to spend alone with you
“ where is everyone” you ask as you walk into dorm
“ they’re still out doing schedules, mine ended earlier than everyone else’s” he said
you walk past him putting your belongings in his room before he follows you like a lost puppy
“ baby you’re really not going to give me a kiss” he pouts
you and jaehyun never used to get along, although being close with most of the members you and jaehyun seemed to clash heads more than anyone else
you both fought a lot and would act very petty towards each other often times whispering things under your breath to each other but loud enough for everyone to hear
as time went on you both realized that you didn’t hate each other in fact it was the complete opposite, maybe it was the immense sexual tension between you two that made you act bratty towards one another but you soon realized that instead your so called hate turned into lust and that lust eventually turned into love
as you both got deeper into your “ situationship” you realized there were real feelings involved and so did he
you love jaehyun and jaehyun loves you
it was something that you both weren’t shy to open up about with each other
that’s how you two ended up confessing to each other one night a few months ago which led to a relationship that was kept a secret from everyone, for now just enjoying each other company with no one involved in your business
“ oh my poor boy” you walk up to him giving him a big hug and kiss
you spent most of evening watching movies together and simply enjoying being in eachothers arms
“i’m getting something to drink” you declare walking into the kitchen as jaehyun follows you
grabbing a cup from the cabinet you fill it water before chugging it
“ damn babe you were thirsty” he smerks
you give him a weird look as you place your cup into the sink
“ im thirsty too but not for water” he whispers kissing on your neck
turning you around he smashes his lips onto yours
feeling yourself getting wet at his actions you moan into the kiss
jaehyun picks you up placing you on the edge of the kitchen counter
standing in between your legs he flips your shirt up and pulling your bra down latching his lips onto your tits
trailing kisses down your body, leaving marks where no one else would see them he stops at your heat
kissing you clothed pussy he takes your shorts off along with your underwear
spreading your legs he kneels down pulling you closer to his face so that your pussy is eye level to him
leaving soft kisses and marks on the inside of your thighs before licking a stripe down your heat
completely diving into your pussy causing you to let out a loud moan
he chuckles in between your legs sending vibrations throughout your entire body
sucking on your clit you grab onto his hair arching your back
“ fuck jaehyun it feels so good” you moan
being caught up in the moment you didn’t hear the key turning in the door, as the door opens a loud voice echoed the wall
“ yo what the fuck” mark says turning around
you and jaehyun separate immediately gathering your clothes before putting them on once you are decent mark turns back around staring at the two of you, his face is bright red
“ really man on the kitchen counter, i made my breakfast there this morning” mark groans in annoyance
jaehyun can’t help but laugh
“ im so confused dude, i thought you hated eachother why did i just walk in on you devouring her” mark asks
“ i dont know man i was hungry” jaehyun cracks a joke, mark stares at him straight faced
jaehyun lets out a sigh
“ we’re dating” you spit out
jaehyun give you a quick glance before backing you up
“ wait a minute, dating in like?” mark tries to wrap his head around what you’re telling him
“ dating as in im his girlfriend and he’s my boyfriend” you explain like you’re talking to a child
“ so you don’t hate each other?”
“ no mark obviously we don’t”
“ so it was just an act?”
“ partly, we didn’t get along the best in the beginning but it was really just us having mad sexual tension, as the two of us closer we realized we just needed to have really good sex with each other and then boom we fell in love”
mark looks to for verification
“ yeah i guess you can say that’s what happened” you chuckle
“ could you not tell anyone about us yet, we don’t exactly want anyone to know we’re a couple at least for right now” you ask mark
“ yeah of course your secret is safe with me, im too tired for this, im glad yall are together now or whatever but if you don’t want anyone else finding out about you two i suggest not eating her out on the kitchen counter, im never touching that damn thing again” mark says walking into his room
“ dont worry ill clean it” jaehyun yells to him
“ come on babe let’s take this too the room” jaehyun picks you up kissing your face all over
jungwoo:
jungwoo had been on tour for a few weeks now, finally getting back to the hotel from their show that they had just preformed
after washing up and ordering food with mark whom he is sharing the room with, jungwoo got ready for bed and eventually fell fast asleep
“y/n” jungwoo moans in his sleep causing mark to stir awake
mark looks to jungwoo confused as he sees his passive state laying his head pack onto the pillow only to lift it up again when jungwoo begins whimpering
at first mark thought jungwoo was having a nightmare until he turned on a dim light seeing jungwoo erection in his pants and strings of moans leaving his mouth along with your name
“ fuck y/n your pussy feels so good baby” he whimpers subconsciously
“ oh you’ve got to be joking, why me” mark sighs debating on if he should wake him or not
mark turned off the light and placed a pillow over his head to drown out the noise
jungwoo began to trust his hips into a pillow he was once innocently holding
jungwoo sprung awake as soon as he felt himself releasing into his boxers
it took a few seconds to realize what was going on
“ oh fuck” jungwoo curses at the mess he made in his pants
getting up he grabs new boxers and shorts out of his suitcase before heading to the bathroom to wash up
mark sits up as jungwoo comes back from the bathroom
“ had a good dream huh” mark smerks
jungwoo just sighs as he lays back down in bed
“ so you and y/n, are fucking” mark asks
junwoo shot up looking at mark
“ huh? what? what makes you say that” jungwoo says frantically
“ oh i don’t know man, maybe because you were moaning her name and saying how good her pussy feels while humping into a pillow” mark laughs
“ shit”
“ hey dude it’s cool, we’ve all had wet dreams before i sure as hell had my fair share of them” mark says
jungwoo takes a deep breath
“ yeah we’re fucking around with eachother, but she doesn’t want anyone to know, she’d kill me if she knew that you found out”
“ don’t worry about i won’t say anything, i’m glad your getting some finally” mark jokes
“ shut up bro” jungwoo throws a pillow at mark
“ oh he’ll nah that’s the pillow you were thrusting” mark shrieks kicking it off the bed
“ goodnight jungwoo, don’t wake me up again with your obnoxious moaning and shit”
—————————————————————————
(mark and haechan are in my nct dream ver!)
thank you so much for your request!! i’m so sorry that this took so long my tumblr was glitching for days
( idk why the 127 ver came out so much more smutty than the dream ver lol)
i hope you enjoyed <3
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lavenderbexlatte · 2 years
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Why did you start learning Korean? Was it before or after you moved there?
- a curious bean
my korean is absolutely terrible, don't let my listening comprehension and daily-conversational-level speaking fool you. i'm awful at it.
i learned hangeul before i moved here, so that i could read the very basics and find my way around, and i knew basic greetings and phrases and stuff. everything else i've picked up through experience. i've never studied korean formally! never taken a class or anything, that's why i'm not very good - i have no complex understanding of grammar 😅
but my industry encourages and actually rewards people for NOT having a high level of korean, so i've never needed or had time (...💀) to take real classes and learn. most people who get fluent quickly are here as full-time college students. i'm not. i'm a full-time worker. so my improvement is extremely slow...😬
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perfectsunlight · 7 months
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✧ 𝟬𝟰 ✧ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘁
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, pushing
𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 | 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 | 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁
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𝗙𝗘𝗕𝗥𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟭
“no. now, bada. tell me now!” y/n shouted, fists clenched into balls at her sides. hot tears fell from her glaring eyes as she stared at the taller girl in front of her. bada ran a hand through her hair, trying to maintain her composure. 
there wasn’t anything that could stop the other girl’s meltdown. she knew better than that.
once the fire started, there was no way to put it out. she just had to let it burn out on its own.
the tension in the practice room was palpable, thick enough to suffocate. y/n's voice had risen to a feverish pitch, her chest heaving with every breath. her fists trembled as if they were on the brink of exploding into action. hot tears blurred her vision, but she refused to let them fall.
bada's attempt to maintain her composure was faltering. she could feel the weight of the younger girl’s accusations pressing down on her, threatening to break her resolve. her hand, once elegantly raking through her hair, now clenched into a fist at her side, mirroring y/n's anger.
"why are we talking about this here?" bada retorted, her voice tinged with exasperation as she turned away to face the mirrored wall. she couldn't bear to look into y/n's accusing eyes any longer.
but y/n was relentless, her voice trembling with the fury of betrayal. "because i want to know. i need to fucking know. was it you?"
bada closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, trying to find the right words. when she turned back to y/n, her expression was a mix of guilt, frustration, and fear. the storm that raged between the two dancers threatened to consume everything.
“yes, y/n,” bada finally admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “it was me.”
y/n's face contorted with a mixture of hurt and pure rage. she took a step toward the korean, her finger pointing accusingly. “you knew how much it meant to me, how hard i worked on it! and you just stole it, without asking, without even telling me?”
bada couldn't meet the other girl’s gaze. it was a fury brighter than the sun, and she didn’t feel like dealing with the hothead right now. she looked at her hands, as if there was anything interesting to look at there. “i was desperate, y/n. and we worked on part of it together so i thought i could make it work for the group.” she explained as calmly as possible.
the american clenched her fists so tightly that her knuckles turned white. “desperate? that's your excuse?! you think that justifies what you did?!” her voice raised even louder, disbelief ever evident in her tone.
“i had the company on my back! what did you think they were going to do? give me more time?” the taller girl snapped, feeling frustrated with the other dancer’s lack of understanding. bada was starting to feel aggravated now. how could the younger girl now understand where she was coming from?
“you could have just asked me! or just let me present the choreography myself!”
a sarcastic and forced laugh fell from the older girl’s lips. it was a sound y/n heard far too often from the taller girl. it was belittling, truly. “you really think they’d let just some american dancer get credit for choreography of a korean girl group?”
that was the sentence that truly snapped something within the young american. all she saw was red.
y/n's eyes blazed with fury as she shot back, “it doesn't matter where i'm from, bada. it was my work, mine! you should have given me the choice to decide how to present it.” bada's frustration bubbled over, her own anger flaring. 
“you don’t get it do you? the company, the fans, everyone expected me to come up with something groundbreaking. i thought i was doing what was best for the group!”
the american's jaw tightened as she stepped even closer to bada, their faces inches apart. “so, what? you're saying your fucking reputation is more important than us? than me? because you couldn't even respect me enough to be honest!” 
bada's voice quivered with heated emotion as she shot back, "no, it's not like that, y/n! i value our friendship more than anything, but i thought i was helping you by showcasing your talent." y/n couldn't contain her frustration any longer. she raised her voice even higher, her words filled with resentment.
“helping me? by stealing from me? i don't need your fucking help!” y/n's shoulders heaved with anger, her face flushed with emotion. "well, congratulations, bada. you got your glory.”
“selfishness? you think i did this for myself? you don't understand how much i've sacrificed for this group, for you!” bada shouted back. the older girl took a step closer to y/n, face so close to hers that she could see the flames dancing in her eyes. and in bada’s own were a hurricane of emotions spinning.
“do you know what they say about me because of you? you shouldn’t even be here, you know that?” bada snapped again, eyes glaring daggers into the younger girl. “you should be thanking me.”
the two girls were too caught up in their argument to notice aespa’s arrival, as well as redlic’s in the practice room. 
it was no longer an argument between two dancers. this was a battle of fire and water.
“is that what you think of me? is that how you really feel about me?” y/n whispered, venom dripping in her tone. 
but it was what bada said after that made y/n completely lose her temper.
the taller girl had a smug glare on her features as she scoffed in her face. “oh, it's not just me. it’s everyone.”
all y/n remembered was pushing the korean girl so hard that bada ended up hitting her back against the mirrors hard. she remembered redlic pulling back the other girl while giselle held by the waist and dragged her away. 
her vision became a blur of red-hot anger and hurt. the room seemed to close in around her, and she was only vaguely aware of the shocked gasps from the others and their attempts to separate her from bada. 
aeri’s grip on her waist tightened, trying to restrain her best friend. “y/n please,” she pleaded quickly. “she isn’t worth it.”
bada’s fingers brushed against the back of her head, checking for any signs of injury. the hurricane of emotions in her eyes had turned into a whirlwind of shock and disbelief. she couldn’t believe you actually pushed her.
the tension in the practice room was palpable, and as if a volcano erupted, y/n's voice echoed off the walls with a mixture of betrayal and animalistic rage. “after everything? you really think that i shouldn't even be here?”
bada hesitated, her smugness fading in the face of y/n's intense emotions. she realized she had gone too far, but her pride prevented her from backing down. “it's just business. it's about doing what's best for the majority.”
the room fell into a heavy silence as y/n's anger and frustration churned within her. she couldn't find words to express the depth of her hurt and disappointment. 
it was redlic who finally broke the silence, her voice stern and authoritative. “that's enough, both of you! we're a team, and this is not how we resolve our issues.” she let go of bada as she turned to face giselle, who still held onto the american tightly. 
“please,” gigi said in a hushed tone, feeling how fast her friend’s heart was beating against her chest. “it’s not worth it, trust me.” she knew y/n was far from cooled down, and she mentally thanked her trainer for the strength training she received.
 the other girls exchanged worried glances, their debut on the line as they witnessed the heated altercation between their teammates.
y/n's chest heaved with the effort to control her emotions, but her eyes never left bada's. “no,” she declared, her voice trembling with a mix of determination and heartbreak. there was nothing left for her. this was it.
no more bada. no more SM. no more dance.
“i quit.”
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✧ 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦 ✧ ⸺ 𝗯𝗮𝗱𝗮'𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲, 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿. 𝗻𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘀𝘆𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿. 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗹𝗹, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝟯 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿: 𝗻𝗼 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁, 𝗻𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝘆.
✧ 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ✧ ⸺ @10cmpulisic22 @zhivaxo @the2ndl @moonsvrse @arievlaw @awkwardtoafault @mightymyo @1luvkarina @jisooftme @angel-hyuckie @bangtancritterrrr @unforgivenangel @starchasermyloves @deadgirlwalking3 @cosettesrants @faatxma @santasbitch @jaeneohee @jxrdxnh @kaaylvst @jesuschrist2006 @enhapocketz @stinkbvgs @neuftaeng @sinifere @ocyeanicc @svt-rei @l-a-u-r-a--b @yunjinwrld @leo-dragon @phamminji
⸺ ✧ 𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗘𝗗 ✧ ⸺
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all4aoki · 11 days
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  ⊹ 𝓕IND 𝓞UT 𝓦HAT 𝓙 𝓦ANT ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ
love moves fast, but your fears move faster . . . enha x f!reader (psh focused), poly!enha, enha8thmember
wc . . . 11.3k , warnings ! brief mentions of dieting, sadness & talks of isolation, not proofread & me guessing abt idol life!
when speaking in … korean, english, japanese
©all4aoki, 2024
Silence filled the vehicle after the cameras turned off, the halt in filming being something you thought would have never happened that night. Distantly, one of the staff sitting at the front of the car mentioned something about how they were giving you all a moment to catch your breath. Or a sentence along those lines at least. Life didn't feel real at those minutes, and all you could do was clutch onto Sangmi's hand and have your other hand glued to the strap of your backpack as your brain did its best to process every event that had happened in the past eight hours.
Enhypen. Your debut team. Words you thought you’d never hear after a year of the same repetitive training cycle in isolation, no thanks to the pandemic, and a survival show that had done almost nothing good for you. Except for this. You blinked heavily, eyes swarming with sleep, dreariness, and dried tears as you looked around at your new group members. Your heart trembled in your chest a bit, a mix of giddiness and growing love at the seven boys and girl you’d spent the entire summer with. The people that had gone through those difficult times with you and the people that you’d progressed with. Excitement still floated in the air as Sangmi laid her head on your shoulder, muttering about her high expectations for the dorm’s beds and you hummed in recognition.
The frenzy of hopes for your future had always been confusing for you. Your dreams had always felt so close, there had been so many moments where you could’ve practically tasted them but not touch them. Like you were one step away, but that step was too far. And now, it was a reality. The exhilaration from hearing your name being called was beginning to morph into something else. Nervousness maybe? It had become normal for your mind to deem yourself not good enough after the slightest bit of disappointment directed towards you, after one instance of you letting yourself down. You knew you were maybe a bit too hard on yourself, and as you breathed in the smell of black ice, you could only hope that the habit would break. But what if the idol life wasn’t what you’d expected? After all, you'd been a trainee for almost two years, dedicating your entire life to this one leap of faith. What if the team didn’t receive enough support? 
The soft feeling of fingers reaching and twisting with yours broke through the wall that was your worries. Sunghoon’s eyes met yours as he leaned closer to you, noses maybe an inch apart and almost brushing against each other. His dark irises searched yours for something. 
“You’re shaking,” he said gently. You swallowed harshly, throat dry. Your relationship with Sunghoon had been confusing since that day you’d first met him at the Representative Test. A connection had attached itself to your heart the moment he’d offered you a small smile from across the room which, after your initial fluster had calmed, you’d returned. And from that point on, you’d never felt so seen in your life. Once Part 2 of the show had commenced, every second of the day you had free you’d spent with the boy and vice versa. At some point along the way, he’d developed a sixth sense for anything and everything YN-related. 
It was a little scary, to be honest.
Both how good he was at reading you, and how it made you feel. How it brought you emotions you’d never experienced in your sixteen years of life.
Your head turned away, downward to where his hand was touching yours, “Is it too early to be having second thoughts?”
“Maybe a little, yeah.” You could hear the grin in his voice, “Take this moment of silence for yourself, though. You’re probably just a bit overwhelmed.” His thumb rubbed the back of your hand in a comforting way. You nodded briefly, teeth going to sink into your bottom lip.
He was probably right, but it didn’t make you feel any better. “What if no one likes me?” you whispered to him, voice a little shaky. Sunghoon shifted in his seat and you knew if you looked to the left he’d be staring back at you.
“Why would they not like you?”
“I don’t know–”
“Then don’t even bother thinking that,” he dismissed and after a beat of silence without you acknowledging his words, he bumped his shoulder with yours. Only then did you glance over at him. His pretty features were twisted into a small frown and his eyes looked a little sad. “You’ve worked so hard and you’ve expressed yourself so well,” he murmured, words only meant for you, “I think at this point if no one likes you it’s cause they’re in love with you.” 
A small, hesitant giggle escaped your chest at his words and you could only watch as Sunghoon’s eyelashes fluttered at the sound. 
You were grateful for his words, but the dull ache of developing anxiety in your chest didn’t fully go away. So you decided to ignore it.
“You’re such a dork,” you teased back. He shrugged in response and proceeded to snuggle into your side. You could feel Sangmi’s head on your right shoulder bobbing as the van moved, some drool escaping her mouth as she slept and it soaked into your jacket. You scrunched your nose at the thought but left her to rest.
“Seriously though,” Sunghoon continued. “Don’t worry about what other people think. We’re proud of you and we know how hard you’ve fought to get where you are.” The strands of your hair under his head resisted the movement of you tilting your head to look at him. He looked up at you, pupils dilated and eyes wide. Your stomach flipped at the sight. “All the love you need is right here,” he brought your clasped hands to his chest.
Breath trembling, you pulled your hand from his, moving your fingers to trace over strands of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. His gaze made you feel warm, the way he studied you made you feel exposed. This vulnerability with him wasn’t new, but it had never felt so intimate before. As softly as you could, you pushed his bangs away.
“You’re right,” you hummed, “If no one liked me, I wouldn’t even be here right now.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes at your words and opened his mouth to say something only to be interrupted.
“YN-ah, is everything okay?” Sunoo had craned his neck to peek over the back of his seat. “Your nose is a little red.”
Of course it is. A tell-tale sign that your body was close to crying before the tears actually welled up in your eyes. 
“Sunghoon-oppa’s jokes are making me cry,” you pretended to sob and Sunghoon playfully smacked your leg in protest. “They’re just so baddd.” 
You rested your chin on his head as he whined and Sunoo chuckled a bit at the elder member’s reaction. 
“Then just sit next to me for our next trip. Okay?”
“All right,” you agreed, “Just don’t fall asleep on me like these two.” You moved your shoulders a bit, gesturing to Sunghoon and Sangmi just to hear Sunoo laugh again. Thankfully he did. 
“Are we already assigning seats for car rides?” Jungwon asked from the front row. 
Riki snuggled into his seat as if he were claiming it by making sure no one would be able to pull him from it, “I want my own seat!”
“Let me keep my spot next to YN! I’m her favorite anyway,” Sunghoon said, gripping onto your arm. Halfheartedly, you patted his head.
“Wah, not even a full day of being a group and we’re already picking favorites.” Heeseung also glanced over his shoulder at you and the other two who were leaning on your shoulders.
“Riki-chan, what do I need to do for you to let me have that single seat?”
Heeseung laughed, “YN you should know you’re not going to be by yourself if we can help it.”
“Yeah, say goodbye to your precious alone time,” Jake added, not bothering to hide how he was laughing at you.
You groaned.
The dorm that the bus arrived in front of was smaller than you’d expected, considering your group of nine. Nonetheless, after living with four other trainees in a small bedroom for months even before I-Land, the sight of a place you could finally call your home was comforting. That and, it still looked like the nicest place you’d lived in since you moved away from New Zealand. 
You’d gently shook Sangmi awake, her cat-like eyes squinting at the bright lights flooding in from the ceiling of the van as she regained consciousness. 
“We’re home!” you whispered to her as the rest of the boys began to collect their things and stand to exit the bus. Jay stretched his back, a loud pop resounding and causing Riki and Sunoo to laugh loudly at the elder. You grinned up at him while Sangmi herself extended her arms above her head, arching her spine.
“Listen to this Grandpa!” Jungwon teased and Jay only adjusted his glasses and smiled as the other members chuckled at his comment. “Are you gonna be able to make it inside?”
“I don’t think so. Give me a piggyback ride,” Jay said and Jungwon curled into his seat that was next to Sangmi as Jay reached across the seats to try and grab at the younger. 
“We’re going to resume filming!” One of the staff informed, interrupting Jay’s attack on Jungwon (much to Jungwon’s relief) and causing everyone else to fall silent. Sunghoon offered you his hand as you slung your backpack over your shoulder, and you smiled up at him after taking hold of it, him pulling you up. 
You all began filing out of the vehicle, soft “Wow’s” leaving everyone’s mouths as they passed by the camera, and you were no exception. To be fair, the entrance appeared to be more luxurious than you’d originally seen and the thrums of excitement resounded through your chest once again as one of the staff typed in the passcode for the door. The night was warm for September, yet the heat from your jacket was still welcome as you all waited outside for the staff to give you all a rundown on the dorm rules and give you all the entry code. 
It was all simple stuff that you’d already kind of expected: no one in the house other than members and staff, any kind of leaving must be requested with the person being accompanied by some sort of surveillance, online orders or shopping packages would be delivered to the HYBE building to be checked before being handed off to the members, etc. You bounced on the balls of your feet, hands clutching each other as the door opened. Sangmi grasped onto your arm, a large smile on her face and both of you exchanged a glance.
We made it.
The two of you squealed, earning a concerned look from Sunghoon, and jumped a bit as you linked arms with your unnie. Neither of you could see inside the building yet due to Heeseung’s height and Jungwon’s wide shoulders, but an indescribable feeling of joy and happiness took hold of you. Sunghoon’s words from earlier played in your head again, and you finally felt yourself appreciating all of the hard work you’d put yourself through to reach this point. A sense of accomplishment ran through your veins, and the fact that it was just the door of your dorm opening for you to finally appreciate yourself and your long journey made you want to laugh at yourself. But then again, it was like you were entering a new world. Transforming into a new person by walking through that threshold. You still felt unsure of what your future life held, what struggles you would have to face, but as you clutched onto Sangmi and followed Jay into the house, you had an inkling that it would be okay as long as you had them by your side.
Unlike before on the bus, your eyes didn’t even bother searching and scoping for the cameras that the staff had placed. Instead, you opted for actually taking in the rooms before you as you kicked off your shoes and placed them somewhat neatly next to Heeseung’s. Dragging Sangmi behind you, you followed the rest of the boys into the kitchen, like a lost puppy following around someone it trusted. The boy’s exclamations and excitement were contagious and the once quiet house now echoed with the sound of its new residents. You all were quick to get comfortable, placing your bags down on random spots on the floor. 
“We’re going to fill this place up from now on!” Sunghoon uttered eagerly and he seized your other arm, pulling you away from Sangmi, the girl letting out a small protest. Ultimately, though, she just continued placing her coat on the table and joined Jake as he looked over the food that was stocked in the cupboards. 
“Oh, I don’t know how I feel about these curtains,” you murmured to yourself, smiling and placing your free hand’s fingers on your nose as you looked at the gold material. Your comment didn’t go unnoticed by the boy gripping onto your arm though.
“We can go online shopping tonight, yeah? I’ll get you whatever one you pick out.” You gave him a pointed look.
“Yah, what’s gotten into you lately Park Sunghoon-ssi?”
“Sunghoon-oppa,” he corrected and his fingers found your sides, squeezing gently and making you laugh loudly at the tickles.
“Ok! Ok!” you gasped out between laughs, hands desperately trying to push him off you, “Sunghoon-oppa! Stop it!” The last words came out in a small scream and Jungwon approached you both. 
“Don’t kill her Sunghoon-hyung,” he teased, poking at your side as said boy finally let you go. Turning around, you hit Sunghoon’s arm gently.
“Yeah, don’t kill me,” you laughed and Sunghoon pretended to lunge for you again, only for you to run out of the kitchen giggling. 
The living room was void of any furniture, apart from a TV, and as you entered the empty space, you sighed softly to yourself. You’d never lived alone, always sharing a dorm or spending your summers with your family, so you figured that having eight other roommates wouldn’t be that much of an adjustment. You would get to create a new safe space with them, everyone would be able to add their own features and personalities through small items and ways of existing. And sure, maybe you were romanticizing the thought of sharing a home with seven boys, but the fact that you were beginning a new life still brought a small smile to your face.
It was easy to picture your desired layout of the room, a light-colored couch big enough for everyone would go against the back wall and you were sure you’d be able to find a cute enough rug to put in the middle of the tile floor… And anything organizational would be important you figured.
Oh God, if any of them were messy it was going to drive you insane–
“YN-ah!” Sangmi called from somewhere down the hallway on your left, breaking you out of your thoughts, “I picked our room!” 
You were quick to follow her voice, jogging past the three other bedrooms that the boys were enthusiastically looking through while they chose who they were going to room with. And as Jay yelled something about Jake and how he left socks and hats everywhere, it was easy to smile. 
“Wah…” you breathed as you peeked into the room Sangmi was standing in, the older girl already lying on the bed pushed up against the left side of the room. When she saw you, she grinned. “Our room!” you exclaimed, giggling a little as she got up and pulled you inside.
“Our room!” she repeated as you both held onto each other’s forearms, jumping around in a little circle out of pure excitement and happiness. “Susu and YN-ie!” you squealed at her words and she followed suit, only for the two of you to dissolve into laughter at the strange noises. 
“Are you guys having a party or something in here?” someone suddenly asked, and with a quick glance over your shoulder, you saw it was Sunoo. “In this amazing room?”
“Yup, bet it’s better than everyone else’s!” you cried, wrapping your arms around Sangmi and leaning your head on hers. 
“What do you mean?” He gazed fondly at you, eyes turning into crescent moons as he smiled at the sight of you and your best friend, “All of the rooms are the same.”
“Well, it’s our room so it’s automatically the best,” Sangmi stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world and you nodded immediately after she spoke. 
Sunoo rolled his eyes, “Have you guys seen the makeup room yet?”
“There’s a makeup room?” you said, eyes widening and arms loosening. Sunoo nodded. “Oh my gosh, show me right now. Please.” After waiting for you and Sangmi to exit the room, he led you back down the hallway and towards the kitchen once again. 
“Obviously, there’s nothing in here yet, but can’t you imagine?”
“Us getting ready in here every day? Duh– Oh! Which bathroom are you using? Let’s do our skincare together tonight.” Sunoo observed the way you smiled and the way you bolted from topic to topic. Your usual shyness was nowhere to be found at the moment. Instead, there was this overjoyed girl who was ready to do anything and everything, and something in his chest softened at the fact that you were already comfortable. 
I-Land had been a difficult time for everyone, but especially you. The other girls were horrible to you in the first part of the show, and with the way the audience turned on you in the second half, your confidence had taken quite the hit. Sunoo recalled a conversation he’d had with the Chamber 5 unit, the first performance he’d had with you, about ways they would be able to keep you from the evil editing and hate that was occurring. You’d come to him one night sobbing, absolutely tearing yourself down in every possible way and picking at all of the faults you thought you had. And as he held you to try and suppress your shaking and frenzied breathing, all Sunoo could think about was how much he wanted to take away your pain. How he could bear any kind of torture in the world to stop your worries and struggles and to see you happy. And now, as he watched you grin and point spaces out to Sangmi for possible decoration, he thanked every force and star in the universe that you were here with them. 
Another person shuffled into the doorway, “We’re moving the cameras into position for the dinner portion of the video.” The three of you hastily followed the staff out of the room and back into the kitchen, taking your spots at the table as they signaled to the group that they had started the cameras. The majority of the group had already begun scarfing the chicken down before they even started rolling, and after reaching over Heeseung who was on your right to grab your own pair of chopsticks, you had to fight Jake’s out of the way so you could at least get one piece. 
A few minutes passed and only chewing was heard. “Please speak about the food,” one of the producers said and you all were quick to follow the instructions.
“Why is chicken so good?” Sunghoon said from the end of the table and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at how quickly he responded to the request.
Sunoo dropped another piece into his mouth, “Right?”
“Besides the box lunch before rehearsal I don’t think I ate anything,” Jungwon commented.
You frowned at him, “Ah, Jungwon-oppa, you shouldn’t skip meals.” Another piece of chicken found its way between your chopsticks and you popped it into your mouth, meeting Jungwon’s dark eyes. He held your gaze and you felt your face flush at the way he was looking at your mouth.
“A little kimbap?” Sunoo asked.
“I didn’t even eat the kimbap,” Jungwon answered, never taking his eyes off you. Your fingers shot up to your lips as the others continued discussing something, feeling around for sauce that might’ve not made it onto your tongue.
“Is there something on my face?” you whispered to him and he shook his head, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. 
“No, your lips just look pretty right now,” instinctively your hand covered your mouth. Jungwon laughed. “Whenever you eat something spicy they turn a really cute shade of red.”
“Thank you?” you offered and turned away from his stare for the sake of your embarrassment. 
Why did your gut feel like it was trembling? 
“Ooh! Should we watch a movie?” Jake asked, it now being his turn to face you. Murmurs of agreement swarmed the table and through a mouthful of chicken, you also approved of the idea. 
You swallowed the food in your mouth as you watched Sunghoon lift a cup of water to his lips. His throat bobbed. A droplet rested on his bottom lip as he stopped to take a breath. Since when was it so hot in the room?
Hastily, you turned to face Jake. “Can I have a sip, please?” you asked the brunette on your left and Jake nodded, wordlessly handing you the paper cup.
Jake took another bite, “It’s so relaxing to be like this.”
And it was. After the stress and intense emotions of I-Land, this moment of connection between the eight of you (Riki was already off and sleeping), brought that feeling where you were safe to be yourself. Any amount of work and heartache you had to endure was worth it. Just to be sitting here and watching your group members laugh and talk casually made your heart soar. From somewhere in the back of your brain you heard Sunghoon laugh and your head instantly turned to follow the happy sound. 
And there he was, smiling and acting the most carefree you’d seen him since, well, you met him. Your brain felt like it was going blank as you watched him eat, it was so cute the way he was concentrating on his food and the slope of his nose looked beautiful as he leaned over the table. Out of all the emotions you’d felt that night, the pride that filled you as you watched him in that moment was the strongest. Sunghoon was one of the kindest and most caring people you’d ever had the joy of becoming close with, and not only was his appearance beautiful, but his soul was as well. He was so deserving of everything he’d earned in the previous summer months. So deserving of all of the people who had fallen in love with him. Deserving of all of your love.
Of your love?
“We’re going to see each other forever,” Jake’s wide eyes surprised you as he tilted his head to try and get you to look at him and away from Sunghoon. Heeseung peeked over his shoulder at the way your face had suddenly gone blank and lost some of its color, like you’d just come to an earth-shattering revelation (you had).
Quickly, he cleared his throat and looked away, “I’m super happy I got to debut with such great people.”
“Awww, so sweet,” Sangmi teased.
“The eldest brother!” Jungwon added and Sunghoon repeated what the younger said, unaware of the way your heart jumped at the sound of his voice.
Jake reached around your small upper body to hit Heeseung on the shoulder, “Wow, our eldest brother.”
“Heeseung would be a great leader when we debut,” Sunghoon continued, and despite being lost in your thoughts, trying to sort out whatever tidal wave emotion that had rushed through you in a split second, you nodded subconsciously.
Jungwon dropped his chopsticks down on the other side of the table, “We’re all one year apart!”
“Do you want me to be the leader?”
“16, 17, 17, 16, 18, 18, 19, 20!” Sunoo counted off, ignoring Heeseung’s question. Jungwon hummed. 
“I want Jay to help a little if I become the leader,” Heeseung said, mostly to himself, but everyone still listened.
“Not Jay!” Sunghoon exclaimed,  “Jay should continue to be the life leader.”
“What about YN-ie?” Sangmi offered, giggling at your thoughtless expression.
Your eyes snapped around at the mention of your name, “Huh?”
The others just laughed. 
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“Thank you,” you tilted your head in a bow as your individual interview finally wrapped up, clapping softly as you stood and the staff began packing up the gear. It would just be the other cameras sprinkled around the house that would film the rest of the night. 
“Good work today!” one of the staff cheered and you responded with a smile. The majority of the rooms were silent as you followed the film team towards the entrance of the dorm and you figured that the rest of your members had already begun drifting off to sleep while you stayed up as the final person to answer questions. Mentally, you rolled your eyes.
“Get back safe!” you said as they waved goodbye and only a few seconds passed as the team turned away from the door before you closed it and locked it, pulling on the handle three times to make sure that it was truly locked. There was a privacy gate that surrounded the neighborhood, since the area you were now living in was a neighborhood HYBE had designated for some of their artists, but a motto that had been ingrained into your brain by your mother was “better safe than sorry”. 
Sighing to yourself, you followed the still slightly unfamiliar path into the kitchen to collect your bag before finding your way into one of the two bathrooms. The thought of whether or not this was the one Sangmi had used had been disregarded by you and you pushed your hair back with the Cinnamoroll headband you’d received the previous year for Christmas, only thinking of getting your skincare done and heading to bed.
You were exhausted, all of the excitement and adrenaline finally wearing off as the sound of the running sink met your ears. The cool water on your face felt heavenly and some of the cloudiness in your brain began evaporating as you scrubbed away at your skin. Sunghoon had yet to leave your brain though. Yes, you had always found him attractive, and of course affection for him had always been present, but since when did things feel so deep? Your heart was burning with a sense of longing and hope, images of the two of you doing anything and everything together filling your head. This emotion of fondness was uncharted territory to you, and with the unknown, came fear. 
It hadn’t even been a full 24 hours of being a debut team and you were already proving those that had claimed you would fall for your team members right. The hate that all of the girls had received for being in a co-ed show you now understood because it was justifiable. 
You would fall for them too, you thought bitterly as you pumped vitamin C serum into your hand.
This industry was cruel, you’d been aware of that since your first week as a trainee, but the fans were even cruller. The way they would pick apart the women was something you were dreading, and you would be damned if you gave those who hated you another reason to tear you down. So whatever you were feeling now had to be just a brief moment of weakness because you refused to be vulnerable for those who wanted to be in your position. 
A droplet of water fell onto your hand and you let out a watery laugh as you realized you had started crying. Halfheartedly, you wiped your eyes before removing your contacts, slipping your glasses on before you changed into your pajamas. A final glance in the mirror showed you that your eyes were still a bit red, but it was no bother to you since you figured that Sangmi was already sleeping and you could play the color off as fatigue if you really needed to. 
As quietly as possible, you exited the bathroom, balancing all of your products in your left hand as you tried to open your backpack with your right hand. But with your luck, you could only watch as your bottle of face wash fell off the top of the pile and onto the floor, letting out a small ‘thump’ as it landed. 
“Of course,” you whispered to yourself, staying still as you glanced around the hallway, making sure the small noise didn’t wake anyone up. Once you were positive that the rest of the group was still asleep, you shuffled your feet a bit and began to try and squat down to reach the object. Maybe it wasn’t your best idea, considering your hands were still full, but tiredness had a grip on your thinking, and with the already overwhelming amount of emotions running through your veins, all you wanted to do was fall asleep. 
The sound of a door opening startled you, the soft creek causing your head to snap over your shoulder and for the rest of your skincare to topple out of your hand and crash onto the group. 
“Shit,” Sunghoon’s voice was raspy as he rushed over to you. You could only stare at him as he knelt next to you, checking the packaging to make sure nothing broke before placing everything into your backpack. 
“Did I wake you up?” you whispered to him and he shook his head, finishing zipping up your bag. 
“I was already gonna go to the bathroom,” his eyes flicked up to meet yours and you instantly looked down, “and I heard the noise, but I didn’t really think anything of it.” You nodded and pushed yourself up, him following suit, “I can’t believe they kept you so late.”
“Considering we have to get up at six tomorrow?” A soft laugh was shared between you both. 
“No, I just can’t believe that they were willing to deal with your attitude.”
“I am not the brat you believe me to be, Sunghoon-oppa,” you said, teasingly rolling your eyes at him.
He grinned and the sight of his fangs made your insides go soft, “Only when you’re tired.”
“Only when 5 '11”, ex-ice skaters won’t leave me alone.”
“Oh, hush,” he whispered, hitting your hands away from him, “and go to bed.” 
“Goodnight, Sunghoon-oppa.” You turned to head to your room only for his hand to find your wrist pulling you back around. His face suddenly appeared concerned, eyebrows furrowing. His other hand found your arm and he pulled you closer. If it weren’t for the fact that you were practically nose-to-nose with him now and your heart was suddenly about to beat its way out of your chest, you probably would’ve deduced that he was trying to piece together why your eyes were so red.
“Were you crying?”
The abruptness of his question caught you off-guard and you could only gape at his words, “Nuh- No. I’m just tired.”
The change of tone in the short conversation made your face grow hot. You weren’t sure why you were embarrassed that he’d been able to piece your emotions together that quickly, but it probably had something to do with how you were a horrible liar. 
Sunghoon’s hands that were still gripping onto your arms were making it extremely hard to concentrate as well, the feeling of his fingers pressing into your skin was lighting a fire under your nerves. Electricity was coursing through you at his touch. 
“Are you still worried that people won’t like you?”
“I’m always worried that people won’t like me,” you said. “It’s- it’s um,” you cleared your throat, “It’s just something else. I’m just… thinking about someone in a way I’d rather not.” Your laugh never sounded so wrong before as you acted out from your nervousness. Sunghoon tilted his head slightly, the expression on his face cluing to you that his concern was slowly melting away.
“Who?” Are you kidding me.
Your breathing was getting heavy, the sound of his voice and the overall closeness of him was making it extremely difficult to think. His scent was infiltrating your senses and filling your brain with thoughts of–Sunghoon, Sunghoon, Sunghoon. All you could do was laugh awkwardly.
“Oh… he– You wouldn’t know him.”
“I wouldn’t know him?” Sunghoon’s tone abruptly became rough and you mentally face-palmed yourself. Of course, you would accidentally bring up what you were trying to avoid. “Don’t tell me you’re seeing somebody.”
“I’m not seeing anyone,” you repeated back to him. His dark eyes were holding your own and you had a sudden pull towards him, like you were in a trace, “I’m not.”
Sunghoon didn’t look like he was convinced. 
“But you have romantic feelings for someone?”
“Ye– No. No, I um… I don’t know?” And without warning, he was even closer than before, and in an attempt to combat the heat that was beginning to build within you, you moved backward.
Step.
“Hmm. Well, I do.” Your stomach dropped at the three words. 
Step.
“You do?” Sunghoon hummed, hands running down the expanse of your arms, removing your backpack from your hands and letting it fall to the floor.
Step.
“And I think about her with everything I do. She reminds me of home, like a cold day where I sit next to the fire because the warmth is what keeps me going, and she makes me question everything I’ve ever felt.”
Your back met the wall behind you and you felt how your mouth was slightly opened from Sunghoon’s words. 
“She’s like air to me. Seeing her happy is like a drug for me because it brings me a kind of joy I’ve never experienced before. I want to give her the world, I would do anything she asks me to–”
“She’s very lucky.”
“And I’ve been in love with her ever since I saw her on that stage.”
The intenseness in the way he was speaking made you tremble and the reality of his words was one you didn’t want to face. Your relationship with Sunghoon was one you weren’t willing to lose and him confessing and making everything real was so unbelievably scary. You were desperate for a world where you could be with him, but with it being so early in your career, you didn’t want to risk his future and everything he’d worked for. 
“Sunghoon–”
His hands slid up to your neck and your slim fingers reached up to grip his own. “I apologize for the suddenness, but I think I’m in love with you–”
“Sunghoon. We can’t,” you murmured, heartbreaking as you did so. You couldn’t bear to look in his eyes at that moment, scared of what expression might be evident in them. The strength of your hands on his told a different story than your rejection, though. “Not right now.”
“What do you mean?” The sentence made you feel like crying again. 
“It’s too soon, Hoon,” you said, rubbing the skin of his hands with your thumbs. “If we try anything, the company won’t be happy. Our fans won’t be happy–”
“But wouldn’t you be happy? If we tried anything?” His grip moved to your face and he tilted your head so you had no choice but to look at him. Sunghoon rested his forehead on yours and you squeezed your eyes shut to stop yourself from sobbing. “I want you to be happy…”
“And I don’t want to ruin everything you’ve worked for.” You gently removed his touch from your cheeks, but refused to release his hands, holding them between your two bodies, “I’m happy if I get to have you even like this.”
“I love you.”
Your lips were pressed into a firm pout and you finally found the bravery to look at him, “I love you.” Water was brimming both of your eyes at this point, and he frowned before leaning closer to you only for you to bring your intertwined hands up between your chests to stop him. 
“Let me just once,” he whispered. You bit your lip. It wasn’t smart if you allowed him to do what you thought he wanted to, it would only make things harder for you both. Harder to let everything go and let this love fizzle out. Even though it never would. 
Against your better judgment, you nodded and his lips met yours without another moment wasted. 
You never knew a kiss could be mournful, but that was exactly what this felt like. Sunghoon moved against you so effortlessly, like he was meant to kiss you and you wanted to live in the moment forever. His lips were so soft, so full, and he suckled on your bottom lip before he pressed his tongue onto yours. Salty tears from your eyes mixed with Sunghoon’s flavor and the taste only furthered your heartbreak. Your movements were inexperienced and messy, after all this would be your first kiss, and nothing about it was like the rom-com dramas and romance novels you adored apart from the fact that it was with someone you were in love with. 
Through the way Sunghoon held onto your face and desperately pressed his body against yours you could read how he was saying, “I can’t let you go, but if it’s what you think is best, then I’ll do anything you ask.” And in return, you held him close as your way of saying “I’m sorry. I love you.” 
Then the burning of your lungs became too much and you pulled yourself away. 
Sunghoon said nothing as you collected your bag off the ground and moved past him to your bedroom. Unintentionally, you slammed the door shut behind you and your heart shook with the sound of the bang. You couldn’t help the feeling of regret that clawed its way onto you, like some sort of ugly second skin that you couldn’t get rid of. The thought of “What if”. 
“YN-ie?” Sangmi’s voice was groggy as she roused at the commotion you’d created. You sniffled and set the backpack at the foot of your bed, acting as if you didn’t hear her. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
More tears were on your cheeks. 
“He– I– I…” and with that, you were sobbing in the most unattractive way. Sangmi instantly was out of her bed, arms finding your shoulders and pressing your face into her neck as you released your heartbreak into your best friend’s skin.
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Ever since that first night, the tension between you and Sunghoon had been unbearable. Not only for both of you but for the other members as well. Sangmi hadn’t left you alone longer than necessary after you’d cried your heart out to her and fallen asleep with her in her bed, too worried that you wouldn’t be able to get through it alone. Especially with your young age and the stresses that were already beginning to pile up as the recording for Enhypen’s debut album commenced. The other boys were always by your side too. They didn’t know exactly what had happened, but they could sense something was off and began copying the way Sangmi was taking care of you.
And while you were thankful for their concern, you were desperate to no longer be coddled. 
“Your voice is so pretty,” Jake mused to you as the two of you exited the recording studio, leaving Jay and Heeseung behind to finish up some more background vocals. 
You and Jake had meetings to attend to as the last part of the day’s schedule due to brands already requesting endorsements with you both, Louis Vuttion for Jake and Miu Miu for you. You figured that they must’ve been pretty desperate to secure a brand deal with you both considering the group had yet to debut. 
“I think I strained too much today. I don’t know what’s been going on but my throat has been so dry lately.”
Jake offered you his water. You shook your head, not wanting to take even more since you’d drank from it for the entirety of the recording session, but he simply sighed at your stubbornness and pushed the bottle into your hands.
“You should let me take care of you more often,” he pouted and you giggled at the sight. 
“I already have six other people worried about me. You don’t need to look after me too.” The way he was looking at you shifted and the smirk that revealed itself on his lips made heat rise to your face. Hastily, you took a sip from his water.
“Can’t I love you?”
“No!” you blurted and laughed at your reaction. 
“Relax, I’m just messing with you.” Embarrassed, you shared a small laugh with him. “But what has been going on? I don’t feel as close to you as we were on I-Land.”
“Trauma response.” He wrestled his water bottle from your hands, faking annoyance. “Sorry! I’m sorry!” you laughed as Jake pulled his hood up over his face, a faux saddened expression on his handsome features and he tried to turn away from you. You stopped to throw your arms around him, stopping his strides and pinning his arms down as you brought your face close to his. “Aww, don’t pout. ‘I’m just messing with you,’” you said, mocking his accent. 
He tried to brush his nose against yours and you immediately jumped away.
“Back up, buddy.”
“Oh so you’ll kiss Sunghoon but not me?” Your stomach plummeted to the floor.
The first thing you felt was panic. Worry about who else knew and how Jake found out being what struck you. Then, you were angry. And with the look on Jake’s face, he knew he said something he shouldn’t have.
“Wait, I didn’t mean that–”
“How’d you know about that?” you whispered angrily and the shuffling of other staff at the end of the hallway briefly distracted you, enough for Jake to loop your arm with his and pull you towards the elevators that would take you to your meeting rooms. “Slow– Slow down Jake! God…”
The both of you stopped in front of the elevator and he pressed the up button.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was out of line–” 
“It’s fine, but what did… What did he tell you?”
Jake sighed, “Just that you guys kissed. Didn’t really mention anything else but he seemed so upset. And now,” he huffed out a breath of air. “He’s not really talking to any of us.”
Your eyebrows furrowed harshly as you blinked up at him. Sunghoon wasn’t talking to any of them? You hadn’t seen him a lot in the past week, partly because you were avoiding him and partly because the schedules were increasingly becoming more and more busy. But from the times that you had seen him, he didn’t seem any different than he normally did. You had thought you were doing the right thing: giving him time away from you to heal, when really, you had just been thinking of yourself and the hurt your decision had caused you. More often than not, you cared for others intensely, and when you would finally recognize how suffocating you were being, you would withdraw completely. You needed to have the power to leave before the other person did. 
“Is something going on with you two?”
“I don’t know what to do Jake,” you muttered as the elevator dinged. He carefully grasped onto your sleeve and directed you into the small space, “I just thought that, you know, we technically aren’t even in the industry yet and… I’m just so tired of feeling scared of everything.”
Jake cooed a soft “No” at your words and pulled you into a tight hug. The grounding feeling of his arms around you chipped away at your anger and worry, and his natural scent with the coconut and vanilla body wash Sangmi had bought for him helped the unease in your head slowly evaporate. 
“Don’t be scared of Sunghoon,” he said after he felt how your breathing had slowed, “Don’t be scared of any of us.”
“I don’t want to be the reason for something bad to happen to you guys. I don’t want you guys to hate me.” You sniffed and internally cringed at how pathetic you sounded, “What if I do something bad and you all leave me?”
His chin left your head and as soon as you looked up, you saw the almost offended look he had in his eyes.
“Do you know how stupid you sound right now?” Your face scrunched at his words and you went to push him away before he stopped you. “We would never, ever, leave you,” he said, “We’re all too obsessed with you to even let you out of our sights for a minute. And– and, you’re such a good person. It’s so easy to see that and we all love you so much.”
Jake paused and you had to focus on the dinging from the elevator going up another two floors to stop yourself from sniffing again. 
His eyes fell downwards to the floor as he spoke up again, “Especially Sunghoon.” He almost sounded sad, but you let it go. “So I don’t want you to be scared of how you feel for him. And after this meeting, I want you to go to him and tell him you want to be with him.”
“Jake–”
“No, really, because I know that if you don’t do it now, you never will,” he pushed and unfortunately, he was right. “Embrace being loved for once. I want you to understand how much you deserve it.” 
The robotic female voice signaled that you had arrived at the floor where you were going to have your meetings and Jake released you at the sound. You gripped onto his torso for one longer moment, though, squeezing him tightly.
“You’re amazing.”
He laughed, “I know I am.”
Jake watched as you smiled up at him, only to let your hand fall into his as you pulled him out of the elevator and into the hallway. As lightly as he could, he squeezed your hand three times, hoping you wouldn’t know what it meant.
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It had been easy to talk to the members on the car ride back to the dorms, the four of you discussing the upcoming trip to Jeju-do for the further production of the debut EP and what was for dinner that night. You all had more filming to do for the end of your day and the ENHYPEN&Hi episode, so you were thankful that you’d had only a two-hour dance practice earlier. 
“I’m so hungryy,” you whined to Jake and Riki whined along with you, trying to match your pitch. “Riki-chan, stop.”
“Forget hungry, she’s hangry,” Jake teased.
You pouted at him and Heeseung laughed at the way your lips pressed together, “Is my charm broken today or something? Why aren’t you guys fussing over me and offering me snacks?”
“I’ll make you raymeon as soon as we get back, okay?”
“Fine,” you agreed to Jake’s offer. 
Heeseung smiled, “How was your meeting?”
“Unbelievable,” you smiled, suddenly giddy with excitement. “It’s still crazy that Miu Miu wants me to be a house ambassador.”
“Wow, Aoki YN, your impact is so amazing. Total It-Girl.”
“If you’re jealous Riki-chan, just say that,” you sassed before turning back to Heeseung. “They want to do a magazine cover with me in December to announce it.” 
“Well, you certainly have their princess vibes down to a T.”
“Because I’m pretty?”
“Because you’re spoiled–”
“My meeting was great too, Heeseung-hyung, thanks for asking,” Jake interrupted and Riki laughed loudly at the elder. The trio continued to bicker as you rested your head on the window, listening now and then for one of their creative comments and giggling. 
But your head was still spinning, heart heavy with worry for Sunghoon. You had genuinely thought that you were doing the right thing by shutting down your love for him despite knowing it would never end for you. The idea of setting him free had convinced you to disregard yourself, but thanks to Jake, you’d come to face the reality that the idea of letting him go was just an excuse for you to disregard your fear of vulnerability. And you couldn’t help but think of all of the times Sunghoon had been there for you, comforted you, made you laugh, and in return, you couldn’t even fully open yourself up to him. 
You wanted everything with him. You did want something real. 
Jake leaned over your shoulder, peering at your face and searching for any signs that you were upset. The corners of his lips gently turned up into a small reassuring smile. You returned the action.
“I would love to go to an actual restaurant,” Heeseung suddenly said, and you figured that at some point when you were lost in your thoughts, they’d changed the topic of conversation once again.
“Ooh!” Riki exclaimed, “I want to try a Saengson Hoejip.”
You shifted a little in your seat so you were facing them, “We might as well go to a sushi place then.”
“Mhm, they’re very different,” Heeseung said. 
“I’m not very well-versed in my types of raw fish.”
Heeseung smiled, “That just tells me I need to take you out to more places to eat.”
“As long as I can come,” Riki added. Heeseung rolled his eyes at the younger and Riki let out an offended sound at the action. 
“Me too! Me too!” Jake laughed and as they began to jokingly argue once again, you were relieved to see the gate for the community the dorm was in. And then you remembered what you promised Jake you would do that night and the relief morphed into anxiety. 
Would Sunghoon hate you for changing your mind? Would he assume you were playing with his feelings? Or maybe he wouldn’t trust you because he thought you would randomly reject him again. You could only hope that he would at least give you another chance. 
The car traveled down the road crowded with the apartments that other groups and wealthier citizens lived in and you watched as they passed, trying to piece together what you would say to Sunghoon that night. But as the four of you were dropped off and the moon shone down on you, you realized that it was pointless. You would be too nervous in front of him to remember any sort of speech. Heeseung typed in the code and held the door for Jake, Riki, and you before heading in himself and you heard the consoling sound of the locks clicking into place.
“I’m gonna go change and then I’ll meet you in the kitchen,” you said to Jake and he nodded in agreement. The both of you moved towards your still rather bare rooms, and you quickly picked out a pair of plaid pajama pants. To your disappointment, most of your crewnecks were dirty, so you pulled on a random hoodie that you’d stowed away in your bag after finding it in the studio earlier that day. 
Your sock-clad feet padded noiselessly against the tiled floor as you headed for the kitchen, catching the sight of Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Sangmi sitting in the living room together. Sunghoon was too engrossed in his phone to pay attention to you walking by, but the image of him still looking so princely despite being in lounge clothing and bare-faced made your heart race.
Swallowing was painful against your dry throat and you turned into the kitchen, where the smell of food was already beginning to drift into the air. Your stomach grumbled. 
“Jungwon-oppa!” you exclaimed, seeing your fellow 04-liner helping Jake at the stove. Grinning, you spun around the corner of the counter and slid yourself into the space between the two boys. You wound an arm around him, leaning in for a kind of hug, “I missed you today.”
His ears turned a darker shade of pink, “Be careful, it’s hot.”
“Can I help?”
“You can go sit at the table,” Jake offered and you hit his arm at the comment, him and Jungwon laughing. 
“Fine. But I want a good portion of that,” you demanded, your other arm going around Jungwon’s waist as he opened his package of spices and began pouring them into the boiling water. 
He rested his cheek on the top of your head, “Of course.” And then a quick kiss was planted on your hair before he was nudging you away with his hip.
“Geez… Ok, ok! I’m going!” you giggled as he continued to bump you. 
“This looks so good,” Jay said loudly as he walked into the kitchen and you decided that it was his turn to receive a hug as you moved away from Jungwon. Without even sparing you a glance, Jay opened his arms for you to rush into.
“No, no,” Jungwon said as Jay and you waddled along behind the two, “We asked you before.”
Heeseung, now in a pink hoodie and Winnie the Pooh pajama pants, wasn’t far behind Jay and he approached the youngsters who were cooking as well. “That looks so good,” he said, nudging you and Jay to the side so he could stand between Jake and Jungwon.
“Get out of here,” you giggled, moving away from Jay to nudge Heeseung back. The elder smiled. 
“It looks really good,” he repeated as he left the kitchen. 
Jay tugged on the sleeve of your hoodie, “Is this Sunghoon’s?” You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you looked down at the clothing. 
“Oh. Yeah, it is.”
Jake’s head whipped over his shoulder, “Did you two already make up?” Your eyes widened at his comment and you violently began shaking your head from side to side. Trying to signal to him that this was not the time and place to talk about you and Sunghoon. He furrowed his eyebrows, confused, “You haven’t?”
“What’s going on between you and Sunghoon?” Jay asked, glancing between you and Jake. Jake flushed as a death glare was sent his way from you.
“Nothing, nothing,” you cleared your throat and let your eyes trail up to Jay’s face, “I think he’s just tired of me stealing his things.”
Jungwon laughed, “As if. I swear sometimes he leaves his stuff around cause he knows you’re gonna pick it up.”
“Nah, you’re lying,” Jake cut in, “If anyone does that, it’s Jay-hyung.”
Jungwon laughed loudly as he picked up the pan to assist Jake in finishing the ramyeon. Jay’s face had fallen flat in faux anger, as it often did whenever he was teased by the members.
“We all do it, actually!” The sight of your smile directed towards him made his heart stutter, “You always clean our clothes after you wear them.”
Your mouth fell open, “You think I smell bad?!”
“No! No–”
“You’re the best-smelling person in this whole dorm,” Heeseung said as he walked back into the kitchen. He began collecting and placing chopsticks for the ramyeon on the table, “Always remind me of cupcakes or something.”
You pouted, “Well, good. I’ve spent too much on perfume for me to stink.” 
Moving away from the stove, you sat down at the table next to Heeseung, waiting for Jake to be done stirring the noodles. Which, apparently, had already been done, considering how quickly bowls were placed on the table after you’d sat down. The pan with the food had been placed at the center, and you gently nudged the Nintendo Switch Heeseung was playing on in his direction.
“Let’s take a photo of this!” Jake exclaimed, pulling out his phone and sitting down before holding the device out to take a selfie. Leaning onto Heeseung’s shoulder, you offered a peace sign, like he and Jungwon were doing. 
As soon as the camera was down, the man on your right began to dish the ramyeon into his bowl and you carefully began to take some of your own as well. 
“Does this even keep you warm?” you asked through a mouthful of noodles as you pulled on the sleeve of Heeseung’s sweatshirt, referencing the hole in the shoulder.
He slurped his food loudly, “Not really but I have a shirt on underneath.” He turned to show you the other piece of clothing through the hole in the back. 
“That seems counterproductive.”
Jungwon laughed at your thought, “At least it’s not that cold right now.”
“Clearly,” Jake scooped up more raymeon with his chopsticks, “Jay’s standing there in shorts and drinking an iced drink.”
You peered around Heeseung to the second oldest, who was leaning on the counter and enjoying his drink, “Do you want some food?”
Jungwon shook his head for Jay, “No. You eat.”
“I was just asking…” you trailed off as Sunoo joined the rest of you in the kitchen. 
“Consider your health though. You haven’t eaten since this morning,” Jake said and you felt your cheeks heat at their thoughtfulness. 
Sunoo stood next to the table, tying the front part of his hair into a small ponytail that resembled the sprout of a plant. “That’s crazy,” he said, commenting on how good the meal smelled.
No one said anything in response, knowing that he was searching for someone to offer him food. 
“You can have a bite,” Heeseung offered after swallowing his mouthful. Sunoo thought for a moment before leaning towards the camera, squishing his cheeks up into a smile. You laughed at the cute sight.
After finishing your serving, you gathered the remaining food into your bowl, “Is Sangmi-unniei in our room?” 
“I think so,” Sunoo said. “If not, she’s probably showering.”
You hummed in affirmation and stood up, taking the bowl with you. After bidding the boys good night, you waved at the camera at the end of the table, “See you soon!” And as you left the room, you could distantly hear the others chuckling inaudibly at your exit.
The sight of Sunghoon still sitting on the living room floor, phone in his hands stopped you though. 
You peered down at the warm bowl of food in your hands. Should you offer him the ramyeon as a peace offering? What if he hasn’t eaten?
Your mouth moved before you could stop it, “Hey Sunghoon-oppa.” His head whipped up, surprise written on his face. His eyes were so beautiful, it made your heart race. Like it was trying to beat out of your chest and reach him. You tilted the dish in your hand towards him, “Have you eaten?”
He shook his head. He still appeared too stunned to speak.
“Would you like this?”
He blinked quickly, closing his mouth which had fallen open a bit without either of you noticing. “Yeah… um–” he slid to the side a bit, “Sit here.”
So you did. Without breaking eye contact with him, you handed him the ramyeon, and for a moment, you watched him eat in silence. To put it simply, you were happier sitting on the tile floor and watching the boy you were in love with eat than you had been in the past two weeks. 
Your mind spiraled as you sat close to him, knees brushing, and a warm feeling filled your heart. The emotion of yearning was one you’d become familiar with recently, and now, that finally had come to a stop. By looking at him, you could imagine a future again, one with lazy mornings together and a life where instead of worrying about ruining his career, you would help him grow. You would take it one day at a time because you loved him. 
The glass bowl clinked as Sunghoon set it down on the tile. He wiped his mouth. You tried to not stare at his lips. You’ve kissed those lips before–
“Is that my hoodie?” 
Taken by surprise at his question, you gaped at him for a split second before you moved to stare down and brush the front of the clothing off.
“Yeah um… I’m sorry,” you moved to take it off before you remembered that you weren’t wearing anything underneath. “I’ll give it back to you. I just didn’t have anything else really to wear. Well, I did, but nothing I would want to sleep in–”
He cut you off with a small laugh, “It’s okay YN-ie. You can keep it if you want.”
“Ah,” you tucked your knees up to your chest. “Wait, really?”
Sunghoon nodded, “I meant what I said that night.” He looked at you, really looked at you (it felt like he was staring straight through your soul) and you softened at the adoration in his eyes. “I want you to be happy.”
You sniffled, “Over a sweatshirt?”
“Even over a sweatshirt.” You shared a laugh. 
“I actually wanted to talk to you…” you trailed off, gathering your courage before speaking again, “About that night.”
Sunghoon’s face fell, “I know. I overstepped and it was out of nowhere and I’m sorry–”
“Don’t apologize,” you said hushedly. Your hand shook as you reached to grab him, “I’m sorry.” Sunghoon was shaking his head in disagreement, but you chose to ignore it. “I love you,” you were speaking in hushed tones now, “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life and it’s so scary,” the last part was weak in volume but strong in emotion. You could only hope that Sunghoon heard it. “It was wrong of me to shut you down like that after letting you kiss me and, Hoon– Hoon I… I want to try.”
The tears came quickly to your eyes and his free thumb reached up to wipe the water under your eyes away. You didn’t miss the way his own shone with a new kind of happiness, though.
“Don’t apologize. You’re allowed to feel however you want and I don’t want you to think that it’s not okay to say what you want.” You leaned into his touch, relishing in the way it felt like it set your skin on fire, “But I don’t want you to rush anything.”
“I’m not rushing–”
“Have you thought about us?” His question caught you off-guard. “All of those worries from before… are they gone?”
“I’m tired of pretending that I don’t need you, Hoon.”
He sighed shakily, leaning his head back, “I don’t want you to regret this.”
“Sunghoon-ssi, would you like to be my boyfriend.” It wasn’t a question. Instead, it was more of a statement, and it made him look back down at you instantly. There was something you couldn’t read in his eyes and his lack of response made nerves begin to grow in your chest. Doubt riddled your head, but you remained confident. Disregarding your fears was a difficult feat, and you were doing your best to be brave to him. 
“You can’t just ask that,” the whiny tone in his voice was so rare for him, and it made you laugh. “I’m being serious, YN-ah.”
You closed your mouth, but the smile didn’t go anywhere, “Right, right. Sorry.”
He blinked slowly at you, “I’m asking for the sake of both of us. I don’t want you to make a mistake you regret and I don’t want to be hurt again.”
“I’ve spent the past two weeks thinking about nothing except for you,” you whispered to him. His thoughts pulled at your heartstrings a bit and you couldn’t believe that you’d neglected showing Sunghoon the care and love he deserved for so long. “And if I’ve regretted anything… it’s been not trying to do anything.” You rested your forehead against his, like the first time you’d both confessed to each other. “I want you and I’ll spend as long as it takes to prove that to you,” you said, pausing to take a deep breath. “I made a mistake and I want to make up for it.”
He kissed you. Sitting in the empty living room, on the floor with the laughter of the other members drifting in from the kitchen, and it made you melt. 
It was just as messy as the first one, but it made you feel connected to him. The almost bruising possessiveness that he used to press his lips against yours made your stomach weak, and you desperately curled your hands into his hair to hold him against you. And at the touch of your fingers on his scalp, Sunghoon nibbled at your bottom lip and you almost groaned at the sensation. 
It was over sooner than you’d like. He pulled back, probably to satisfy the need to breathe. His warm eyes were on you instantly and shyness immediately overtook you. You looked down to try and hide the blush on your cheeks and the way you giggled to yourself. 
One of Sunghoon’s fingers hooked under your chin to pull you back up to him and you were met with the sight of him smiling softly at your excitement. 
“You want to?” he quietly asked, and you were so distracted from the kiss that it took you a moment to realize that he was talking about what you’d said before. 
You nodded, “Of course I do.”
“Then you can start by being my girlfriend.” Sunghoon’s smile grew to the point where his fangs were on display. You pretended to pout.
“I asked you first.”
He groaned, pulling you towards him and you shuffled with him to cuddle into his chest.
“I would love to be your girlfriend, Sunghoon-oppa.” And, god, when was the last time you saw him this happy?
“You realize this is the second time we’ve made out in front of the cameras?” You glanced over at the camera sitting on the floor next to you both and then at the one in the top corner of the room. Embarrassed, you buried your face into his neck, inhaling the calming scent that was Park Sunghoon. 
“At least the one on the floor is turned off,” you said, voice muffled into his skin. Sunghoon laughed, although you weren’t sure if it was from what you said or the way your lips tickled his skin. 
“It’s okay,” he added, “maybe they’ll use this footage and it’ll let everyone know that you’re taken now.”
You pulled back to look at his stupidly wide grin and you giggled before slapping his chest playfully, “More like it’ll make all of those fangirls back off of you.”
Sunghoon sighed, “I love you.”
“I love you,” you said back, almost immediately. He stretched one of his legs out from the criss-cross position he’d been sitting in and his foot hit the empty bowl of ramyeon. It clattered loudly, making you jump and look over your shoulder at it. “Ugh…” you groaned as you pushed yourself up into a standing position. 
Sunghoon frowned up at you, “Where'er you going?” You made a gesture at the ramyeon. 
“That,” you said as the boy also stood up, taking the bowl with him, “Was supposed to be for Sangmi.”
He let out a small ‘Ah’ of realization, “But you gave it to me.”
“Mhm,” you said as you both walked slowly in the direction of where everyone else was. “I gave it to you. Boyfriend.” And the way he grinned at his new title only confirmed to you, that your worries were no longer anything to be worried about.
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마리셀의 노트 , hehe first full length fic! this is the first part in a series that shows how each of the members joined the relationship and we’re starting with hoon😁🥹 some of this probably doesn’t make sense but it’s only because there’s a lot of stuff that goes down in I-LAND!! same goes with how quickly you n hoon get together… more background that will hopefully be showed in the I-LAND chapters💕💗 I’ll try to post some drabbles with the other members soon, but no promises lol🤷‍♀️ until then, thank you so much for the support I’ve received so far! it means the world to me💐🌷
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eliluvschan · 27 days
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Tutor
pairing: bang chan x reader
word count: 512
warnings: fluffy, is it suggestive? i'm not sure. + pls tell me if there's something else
genre: fluff
a/n: wrote this really fast right before i had my English exam [which i aced] so enjoy this one while i go celebrate :) enjooooy
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i wrapped my hair up in a towel and put on a robe.
when i stepped out of the bathroom, i heard a knock from downstairs.
i put on my slippers and went down. when i opened the door, he was standing there.
“oh..” he looked me up and down. “i’m sorry. i had nothing to do and came earlier.” he laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck.
i could feel myself getting red.
“come in.” i bit my lip.
i closed the door and shook my head as his back was turned to me.
“to get a head start.” he said as i walked him over to the dining table.
“of course.” i said. “uh, just give me a few minutes. i’ll be right back.”
he nodded and sat down. i practically ran up the stairs.
“shit.” i yanked the towel off of my head.
i went over to my dresser, sliding on a clean underwear and putting on a bra. i took off my robe and grabbed a pair of black sweats and a random crewneck.
after quickly blow drying my hair, i grabbed my things and went downstairs.
“i’m so sorry.” i said, sitting down on the chair next to him.
''naurr, i'm sorry.'' he said, his thick Australian accent coming through. ''i have a tendency to show up early to things without warning. i should have called.''
i just nodded.
''let's get started?'' he raised an eyebrow at me.
''yeah.''
long story short, i'm failing entry level Korean.
my teacher reached out to my parents and he said Chan could tutor me. since he's also fluent in English. at first i denied the help, but my mother insisted. and now, he's here.
i opened my Korean textbook to the first page.
there was a list of basic vocabulary and some practice sentences at the bottom of it.
''so, what is it you're having trouble with?''
''everything.'' i scoffed.
''how come?''
''because mr. Lee is so boring and i just can't pay attention to anything that goes on in class. i just don't like Korean. at all.''
he looked at me like i insulted him.
''no offence.'' i reassured.
why did i just say that? he's literally Korean, and trying to help me pass this class. idiot.
''none taken.'' he said. ''do you at least know what yes and no are?''
''네 and 아니요.''
''good.'' he said. ''let's just start with a simple introductory sentence.''
i nodded.
''repeat after me.''
''alright.''
''제'' he started.
''제'' i repeated.
''이름은'' he continued.
''이름은''
''Y/n''
''Y/n''
''입니다.''
''입니다.''
the way the words fell so smoothly and perfectly from his lips practically made me drool.
''very good.'' he grinned. ''i can teach you another simple sentence.''
''okay..''
''키스해주세요.'' he said slowly.
''키스해주세요.'' i repeated. ''what does it mean?''
''kiss me.''
before i knew it, his lips were already on mine while his hand stroked over my right cheek. it took a while for us to pull away from each other.
''like Korean now?''
''네.''
~
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etudieryvivere · 9 months
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my korean practice today:
some grammar, school stuff and handwriting/sentence practice
tw; dirty joke with limited korean in my writing practice (im sorry, i saw the chance and took it 유유)
had a black bean burger, some eggs and élote tostado
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2023. 07. 23
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korean-with-haneul · 1 year
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Korean Pronunciation tip#6
ㄹ+ㄴ=ㄹ
If ㄹ is followed byㄴ OR if ㄴ is followed by ㄹ it's pronounced ㄹ
✧설날 is pronounced as [설랄]: the Lunar New year
설날에는 집에 있을 거야 I'll be at home on New Year's Day.
✧신라 is pronounced as [실라]: silla (university) “신라대학교”
&lt;<신라>> is also a previous name of “Korea”
경주에는 신라 시대의 왕릉이 있습니다. There are royal tombs of Silla Dynasty in Gyeongju.
✧난로 pronounced as [날로]: Stove, fire
언니는 난로 앞에 앉고 졸었어요. My (older) sister/ firend sat in front of the fire and dozed off.
✧한라산 pronounced as [할라산]: Halla Mountain
“산” means mountain, however since many people don't speak korean , some foreigners will call 한라산 as Hallasan Mountain instead of Halla mountain
저는 한라산에 갔다 왔어요. I went to Halla Mountain (and came back). I have been to Halla mountain.
✧일년 pronounced as [일련]: One year
대학 1년생입니다. I'm a freshman. I'm in my 1st year in college.
✧언론 pronounced as [얼론]: The (mass) media, press
그녀는 언론의 심한 비판을 받아 왔습니다. She has been heavily criticized in the press. 
✧순리 pronounced as [술리]: Reasonable, rational
그렇게 되는 것이 순리다. It is natural that it should be so.  It is reasonable that it should be so. 
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kineticpenguin · 6 months
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i heard about the killdozer guy but what about the rooftop koreans?
During the LA riots in 1992 the LAPD abandoned minority neighborhoods, leaving the locals to fend for themselves. Some Korean families posted up on the roofs of their buildings to protect their businesses with guns. Without any other context, they've become something of a right-wing gun culture meme. Y'know, the whole "model minority defending their property against the savage hordes with glorious firearms" sorta thing, you can see the marketing appeal.
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(And I do mean marketing quite literally, there are tons of Roof Korean merch churned out on Internet shops).
The thing is, this is a somewhat whitewashed version of events. Racial tensions had been inflamed between the local black and Korean communities recently, most intensely by the killing of Latasha Harlins by a Korean store owner, Soon Ja Du. Du accused Harlins of stealing juice even though she had money in hand to pay, initiated a physical conflict, and then shot Harlins in the back of the head when she was trying to flee the store. Du received a suspended sentence for manslaughter: five years' probation and 400 hours of community service, plus a $500 fine and Harlins' funeral costs. The killing is widely seen as a contributing factor to the 1992 riots, especially with regard to Koreatown being targeted.
As for the actual defensive actions by the "Rooftop Koreans," in practice it was kind of a disaster.
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What's more, if you talk to the actual Koreans who were out there that day, they don't see anything to celebrate about it. If anything, they found the abandonment to be a wake-up call with regard to their standing in society: Second-class and fully expendable.
But because of the sanitized version of history that became a meme, you can guarantee every time there are mass protests and riots, some douchebags are going to run in, drop their pants, and start furiously cranking their hogs, moaning "we need roof Koreans!" for the duration.
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helenstudies · 2 months
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My handwriting in five languages
English | Burmese | Korean | Chinese | Japanese
I don't have the most beautiful handwriting but I love writing on paper with a pen!! my fav is black in because I feel cooler. The sentences are from books I had around.
my fav handwriting is definitely my Burmese handwriting. Look at those round things go!!!
my favorite language to practice writing in is Chinese. The hanzi (or kanji/hanja) feels so nice. It's like meditation
my favorite language to actually write things in is Korean. Maybe because now I'm fluent in a language other than Burmese and English. While writing long essays in Korean, I can FEEL my brain unlocking things.
least favorite language to write in is japanese. My brain has to switch gears from simplified chinese characters to traditional chinese characters to japanese chinese characters. maybe it'll get easier if I get to like N1 but right now, it's ugh. I love hiragana but I'm going to have an enemies to lovers arc with katakana. I can feel it.
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minggukieology · 1 year
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"Jimin and Jungkook's casualness isn't anything out of the ordinary but is still surprising"
'지민 (Jimin) Choreography Practice Sketch' write-up ✍️
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Among Jimin's gruesome practice sessions and strict work ethics leading up to Face promotions, we were given a peak into a few moments out of Jungkook's visit on day 2.
What struck me (and even k-armys) is that they didn't even bother to pretend to be formal in front of the staff and camera + crew, which just goes to show how long gone are their age barriers in communication and behavior. Once again I know we are all well aware of this development between them, however it is still a bit surprising seeing that happen in front of strangers- especially at their workplace and during work, which is a formal setting. The significance of this may appear minimal to you but in Korean culture, the way you talk to someone but also what you discuss and how you phrase it is highly influenced by the age hierarchy. Allowing someone speak to you informally (even in the public or formal settings) means they now have the same rank as you and their word is thus referred to/significant on the same level as yours and they can express things way more directly. In a highly hierarchical culture with a strong respect for authority (or anyone above) this presents a disruption in an embedded way of thought and behavior that is in the minds of all Koreans from the very early age. 반말 (banmal) of course does happen among many people even those who are not 친구 (friends- meaning people born in the same year) but it is not something that is just expected automatically and in any social setting. (I am excluding family ties here)
Thus, what the international audience may see and perceive only reading the translated subs:
"Ah cool, Jungkook came and supported Jimin"
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What the Korean audience (or anyone with just a little knowledge of the language and culture) sees and perceives:
"Oh wow they are speaking informally so naturally to each other, they seem so close"
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JK: "I'll cheer for/ support (you)"
(*said in a form that implies promise to someone for the future, informal tone)
JM: "Come again"
(*said as an informal command or request)
Other fav moments:
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JK: "Noo, do it once (for me)!"
(*주다 on its own means to give, gift someone something; in combination with other verbs like 하다 (to do) it implies doing something for someone; the most accurate but weird way in English to translate would be: "give a doing" Here Jungkook commands/requests Jimin to do the dance for him in an informal tone which sounds veeery casual, especially considering the dancers nearby 🫣)
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JK: "It's awesome/ You're awesome"
(*Again informal tone, the pronouns are not stated therefore both you/it could be inserted)
JK: "Will be cheering (for you), myself"
(Informal tone, said in a form that implies promise to someone for the future + Jungkook added 내가 at the end of the sentence to emphasize he personally will be cheering/supporting Jimin on. Reminder- Korean sentences don't need pronouns, therefore you can tell he used it for added emphasis)
All in all, Jungkook didn't use the formal level a single time besides when he was leaving and told Jimin + everyone else in the room to "take care" (수고하세요).
Finally, to anyone trying to use Jungkook's informal "nope" to Jimin's direct requests to get his ass over there more frequently probably didn't catch just how """seriously""" both of them were taking that convo, as you can see from Jungkook's smirk hidden under the mask ㅋㅋ
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Also just how long were they teasing and saying bye to each other if there is a cut and suddenly Jungkook is standing on the other side, still saying bye and holding hands with Jimin? 😆
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This short edit of Jungkook's appearance tells a lot about their dynamic and reassures everyone that can perceive the tone of their closeness. I'm glad we could see a little bit of it in this video!
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