Not Safe Anymore
Pairing: Maeglin x reader
Summery: Your husband is gone for a long time and when he returns, something heavy seems to be weighing on his soul.
Warnings: slight mentiones of torture and Morgoth
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You had known immediately that something was wrong, when Lómion had returned later than usual from his excursion to look for suitable places for further mining.
Normally he came back after three days, and it had always been three days in which you could hardly sleep, worried about what might be lurking outside the city walls.
But this time he had been away for almost two weeks. And nobody else even seemed to notice. Only when you spoke to your best friend Rog about it did he and a few others seem to realise that Lómion had disappeared from the face of the earth.
But everyone seemed to just accept it when Lómion returned and said he had just lost the way.
Sure, he had spent most of his time in the city walls, like you and almost everyone else in Gondolin, and before that he had been in Nan Elmoth. So it was not unreasonable that he had gotten lost.
But you knew Lómion and you knew when he was lying to you and when he wasn't, and this time you were sure that what he was telling you wasn't true. That there was more to it than that.
But what worried you even more was the fact that he seemed to flinch at loud noises. It was such a slight flinch that the other people around him seemed to miss it, but not you. You knew him too well for that.
He hardly ate anything and always seemed to be absent when you weren't talking to him directly.
One night, shortly after he returned, you once again found yourself unable to sleep.
Lómion's worrying behaviour just wouldn't let you go, no matter how exhausted you were.
He himself had fallen asleep a while ago. In the last few days, he'd always looked so much more tired than usual, so you weren't surprised when he fell asleep straight away.
You had no idea what time it was when a soft whimper and a jerky movement pulled you out of your thoughts.
At first you thought Lómion had woken up and got up to get a some water, but when you looked up, you saw what was really going on.
Lómion's face had contorted into an anxious grimace and he was twitching back and forth. Whimpers kept coming out of his mouth and tears were running down his cheeks.
The last time you had seen him cry had been at his mother's funeral. He had had nightmares, but none of them had made him cry.
Normally, you would simply wake him up during such a nightmare, but seeing him in this state before you, you just sat there frozen, unable to take your eyes off your beloved husband's tear-streaked cheeks.
"Lómion?" you whispered absently, but he didn't respond.
Instead, he whispered in his sleep, but his voice was distorted, as if he was in great pain.
"No- please-" he gasped in vain, "I- I- no- Morgoth- Gondolin- "
His fingers stretched out as if he were trying to push something away, but they simply reached into nothing.
"Betrayal- " he continued to whisper, "Traitor- me- " and then in a very shaky and slightly louder voice: "Help!"
That finally brought you back to your senses. Still with a very queasy feeling in your stomach because of the words he had just said, you bent over carefully and gently shook his shoulder.
"Lómion?"
You winced as you realised how much your voice was shaking.
Suddenly his eyes opened wide in an expression of utter panic and unspoken fear.
He shrinked back from your gentle grip on his shoulder and curled up, raising his arms protectively over his head. "Please stop," he gasped, his whole body trembling, "I- I- please do not hurt me again. I know I- "
"Lómion," you interrupted his babbling softly, "it is just me, your wife. Y/N. Everything is fine."
It took a moment, but soon Lómion was looking at you from under his arms. The panicked look was gone from his eyes and he seemed to be able to see more clearly again.
Then he buried his face in his trembling hands and began to sob desperately.
You didn't touch him again for fear he might get scared again, but you said reassuringly: "It is all right. It really is. I am here to help you, my beloved Lómion. You are safe."
At these words, he looked up jerkily and then shook his head.
"What do you mean?" you asked softly, trying to express all your love and affection for him with your gentle gaze, "What do you want to tell me?"
"We- we are not safe here anymore." he whispered and immediately the words he had mumbled seconds ago came back to you. Was he- had he been-
You sucked in a sharp breath. "My dearest Lómion, did Morgoth stop you from returning to the city earlier?"
His eyes were full of fear as he nodded.
Then something suddenly dawned on you. "Can you- can you not speak of it?"
He nodded again and more tears escaped his eyes.
You were not surprised. Morgoth was known for his brainwashing and you didn't know anyone who had been able to fight it.
You cautiously reached out a hand, but paused just before you touched him. "May I?" you whispered gently and Lómion nodded weakly.
So you put your hand on his tear-stained cheek and began to stroke it.
"Did he want to know where the city is?" you asked, although you already knew the answer. He nodded.
You took a deep breath. "You told him, did you not?"
Lómion nodded again.
"It is all right. Everything will be all right." you whispered, although you couldn't quite believe it yourself yet.
"Sorry." he whispered softly, but you shook your head.
"Lómion, my dear dear Lómion," your voice trembled as tears ran down your cheeks. "You had no choice. I am just glad you are back."
"Do you not hate me?" he asked quietly, looking ashamed. "I would understand if you no longer- "
"I love you. I do not think I would have done anything differently in your situation." Slowly, you leant forward and gave him enough space to pull away before gently pressing your lips to his brow. "You were so incredibly strong." Then you sighed. "We have to tell the king."
Noticing Lómion's fearful look, you brushed a few strands of hair from his face. "Not now. I think tomorrow will be soon enough. And Do not worry. You are like a son to Turgon, he will understand. At least he will try his best to."
Lómion didn't look particularly convinced, but he nodded.
Then he asked quietly: "Can you hold me?"
Instead of answering, you pulled him close and he buried his face in your chest.
"I will take care of you," you whispered softly into his hair, "No one will ever hurt you again if I can help it."
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