#la douleur exquise will be an actual fic so I’m not spoiling it as much!!

[talesofzero]

La Douleur Exquise - Ch. 2

AU; Chapter 2 - The Case of Black

Half this fic is just everyone giving Harlock a bad time.

~3200 words 

Clients who requested full lineups were always trouble. I gave a list of each boy’s specialty, and most clients were happy to pick based on that. Some requested to see one or two in person before deciding, but then there were these bastards.

All the boys picked spots around the couches, some more relaxed than others, as the client eyed them like a row of produce at the grocery store. I stood by behind him, enough to the side that I could watch his face with my good eye.

Clients who requested full lineups were trouble because they thought they could have whatever they wanted. The list of each boy’s specialty also came with each boy’s boundaries. Almost every time Daiba had been called to throw a client out, he’d been one to ask for a lineup.

I had no evidence against this one. His record was fairly clean, and he could certainly afford any of the boys with the bank account I’d seen, though the way his brows pinched when he glanced at Manabu made it apparent he had some limits.

Manabu must have noticed the look, must have learned to recognize it, because his shoulders slumped. I’d also learned to hide my relief as he was passed over yet again.

Susumu sat leaned against his brother’s side. The two were whispering about something that had Mamoru smiling. They didn’t seem too interested in the client, but at least they didn’t look as bored and unimpressed as Zero. He stared the client down as though daring him to have the gall to pick anyone. Not good for business, but I wasn’t going to get onto him.

With Shep looking sleepy from his early-morning clients, Richard was the only one bothering to smile at the client. But, well, that was Richard.

Naturally, the client picked him, and his expression lit up with the gleam in his eyes. It was for the best, as the boundaries listed for Richard were…near-nonexistent.

My brother would do anything for money.

The rest of the boys dispersed with sighs and yawns, most meandering to the dining room to harass Tadas- Monono for lunch. I did, however, find myself with a tail as I headed upstairs. “Hey, Uncle Phantom?” Manabu called as he rushed to keep up with me. I had a feeling I knew what this was about.

“Yes, Manabu?”

“Do you know if Dad’s coming today? I think he has the day off.”

I sucked in air to keep from sighing. “I believe he is.”

A sideways glance showed Manabu’s expression weighted by weariness, so I reached up and ruffled his already-messy hair. “You won’t have to talk to him,” I said. “I can sick Daiba on him if need-be.”

“I don’t want him dead,” Manabu said, fighting back a smile. “But if you can get him to leave me alone, I’d appreciate it.”

“I’m not a miracle worker, but I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you today.” Even that much was easier said than done. I could see Manabu breathe easier at the prospect, though. He murmured a quiet thanks before darting back down the stairs toward lunch.

Leaving one trouble behind, I found a new one as I entered my office. Tadashi, who’d stolen the name from Monono and left me eternally mixed up, was climbing my shelves in an effort to dust everything. Thankfully the shelves were nailed to the wall, or everything would have come tumbling down on top of him.

For whatever reason, he was still wearing that maid uniform. I wasn’t sure why I’d bothered to get him new clothes. He’d seemed confused when I’d handed them to him. “Are these my uniform?” he’d asked.

“You don’t have a uniform,” I’d said. “You can wear whatever you like.”

Later I’d seen Daiba wearing the clothes, Tadashi still in his uniform. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected.

“I can get you a step-stool if you need one,” I called as Tadashi managed to reach the top shelf where I kept my old saber.

“I’ve got it,” he said.

“Very well. Do you need any other cleaning supplies ordered?”

“Oh yeah.” He batted at the saber with the feather duster. “Like everything.”

Honestly, that may have been a fair assessment. I could only recall buying a few cleaning tools in all the years, after Zero complained over the state of things. As I sat down to order “everything,” said-complainer popped through the door. Whatever scolding I was about to receive halted as he noticed Tadashi clinging to the shelf.

“Goodness, we’ll get you a step-stool,” Zero said as he rushed over and grabbed the boy under the arms to pry him away from the shelf.

“I’ve got it!” Tadashi insisted with a huff.

“Sure you do,” Zero said. “Now go get lunch. You’re on break.”

Tadashi looked to me for confirmation, and I nodded; then he was off like a flash. “I’ve never seen anyone quite so oblivious to a tactic to get him to leave,” I said.

Zero went over to close the door behind him. “I’ve never met anyone so eager to eat,” he said. “But I guess he is a teenage boy.”

“I know you’re still upset about it, but you’re not-”

“I know he needed the help. I know.” Heaving a sigh, he walked over and took a seat on my desk. He never would have admitted it, but he sat on my bad side or turned his back when he was upset. He never liked to give too much away. “What happens if Wataru finds out?” he asked.

“He may have the kid’s wanted poster already, but I think I can talk him down. That crime has too many inconsistencies.”

“Maybe, but he’s still going to be furious you hired another underaged boy. Might actually kill you this time.”

I smiled, resting my chin in my palm. “You didn’t, and you said you would.”

He turned enough for me to see his glare. “I considered it.”

“Come on, you’ve been begging for a maid for ages.”

“I have not! I’ve been trying to get all of you to clean for ages!”

He was a saint for attempting such a feat, but I’d ruined things with how much I spoiled the boys. “Well, now you don’t have to worry about it,” I said, hoping he’d be willing to drop the subject. “Anyway, I need you to help me make sure Wataru doesn’t bother Manabu when he comes.”

He saw through my ploy. “Don’t change the subject! And good God, Harlock, you’re asking a lot.”

“Just seduce him or something. You can do it.”

The unamused glare he sent piercing through me suggested otherwise. “That man is so oblivious he wouldn’t realize someone was hitting on him if they started stripping in front of him.”

“Do you know that from experience or-”

It wasn’t that I didn’t know what was coming. I just wasn’t fast enough to avoid it. His hand caught be around the back of the head, dragging down to slam my forehead into my keyboard. I couldn’t say it wasn’t fair, really.

“Get back to work,” he snapped. “And no more full lineups. I don’t trust those assholes.”

He left me to my throbbing head, as per usual. Monono came in later with a tray of smoked fish and rice. Since I was already buying a truckload of cleaning supplies, I asked him if he needed anything while I was at it.

“You could get some more plates and glasses. The new guy broke a lot when I let him help me do dishes. I don’t know how he did it. He just kept breaking them.” Bewildered, he shook his head. “I told him I would handle the dishes from now on.”

Tadashi worked hard, so hard that he was covered in dust and dryer lint by the end of each day. When he mopped, he somehow soaked his socks up to the knee. He was certainly one of my more reliable workers.

But he seemed to break everything. He’d shattered the vacuum on his first day, though Richard had managed to fix it into an odd Frankenstein’s monster of plastic, glue, and tape. Tadashi had gone on to knock a hole in a wall, snap off part of the stair banister, and break one of his own fingers. Daiba patched it up for him so quickly he didn’t have time to cry.

I wasn’t sure how he managed any of that, but at least the place got clean. He also had helped me weed out a few bad clients who had asked after him upon seeing him in the foyer. Daiba was quick to dispose of them.

Daiba was also quick to follow Wataru into my office after my brother slammed my door open. “What is that small girl in a dress doing downstairs?” Wataru demanded.

Before I could answer, Daiba jumped between us. “That’s my brother,” he hissed. He’d certainly invested himself in the role. “I’m looking after him.”

Realizing his mistake took some of the fire out of Wataru. “Sorry,” he said, blinking rapidly. “But that boy is clearly underage. You can’t have him-”

“He’s safer here,” Daiba said, his voice laced with venom. “I won’t let you take him.”

Wataru knew better than to fight Daiba on anything. We all knew better. Wataru put his hands up in surrender, though as he looked down at the boy, his eyes narrowed. “You don’t have a brother,” he said.

“I do now,” Daiba returned without hesitation. “Let this go.”

Wataru’s shoulders were tense with the urge to argue, but he relaxed with a slow exhale. Stepping past Daiba, he strode up to me. “The SDF sent me an update on criminals that may be in the area. There were more than usual this round, so keep your head up.”

He pulled a drive from his coat pocket and set it in front of me. This was our usual routine. He gave me confidential information, and I gave him anyone I came across on those wanted posters. “Not all my clients are criminals,” I said as I snapped the drive into my computer.

Wataru crossed his arms. “Oh, I know. You have a few rich bastards sprinkled in the mix.”

“A few bored SDF passersby too,” I murmured.

He stared down his nose at me as I flipped through the latest batch. I could usually tell based on looks alone if someone had a chance of stopping by - the ones with cockiness in their eyes. Standard petty-crime types tried to keep their heads low. Arcadia was flashy for a reason. The cocky ones always seemed lured-in by the shine.

As I neared the end of the list, my gaze caught the wanted poster I’d already seen. I kept myself from lingering on it - the photo of a smiling young boy, clearly pulled from some family album and slapped on the poster.

The name was different and his hair was longer, but it was clearly my new maid. Wataru didn’t seem to have noticed yet. I flicked my eye back up toward him. “Anything else?” I asked.

“I want you to release Manabu from his contract,” he said like a man who’d repeated the same thing dozens of times.

“No,” I returned the same way. “It’s a contract. That’s not how they work.”

Naturally, he switched to his scolding dad voice like that had ever worked with me. “Phantom.”

“Wataru,” I mocked. “If you’re done, go enjoy your day off. You know you’re not supposed to work during those.”

He crossed his arms. “I came to visit my son. Giving you the drive just happened to coincide.”

“Manabu’s busy,” I said, as though my nephew ever had a moment’s work since signing his contract. “You should come on his off-day.”

For a split second, Wataru believed my lie. Horror and rage flashed through his eyes. My death would have been quick had he not come to his senses. “I’m going to see him,” he huffed.

“No you’re not. No one sees my boys without permission.”

“He’s my boy.”

“No one owns him!” Daiba roared, startling both of us.

Daiba would fight us both if I didn’t find a way to ease the situation, not that I would mind fighting my brother myself.

“Not today, Wataru,” I said. “Leave him be for now.”

I waited for his rebuttal, but his shoulders dropped the same way his son’s had. “So he said he didn’t want to see me. Very well.”

“Any of the other boys would be happy for your company.”

He didn’t have the energy to be mad at my usual joke. “Don’t do anything stupid, Phantom,” he said with a sigh as he left. Ever untrusting, Daiba followed him out.

The silence of the room held me for a minute before I stood and left as well. Manabu’s room was empty. Instead, I found him in Zero’s violently yellow one. Sitting on Zero’s bed, Manabu sipped tea out of his usual blue mug.

“Your father left, so you can come out of hiding,” I said.

Rather than looking relieved, his brows pinched, and he stared into his mug. “Was he mad?”

“A bit. He’s always a bit mad.” Usually at me. 

Manabu’s hands tightened around the ceramic. “We always argue when he comes over. I just didn’t want to argue again.”

At his desk chair, Zero sipped something probably-alcoholic from his own mug. “He’s just worried about you.”

“I know but-!” He huffed, his shoulders scrunched up by his ears. “It’s really annoying! I can’t get laid!”

Zero and I both tried to block him out as he continued, glancing around the room as though it could protect us.

“Clients are like ‘oh, aren’t you that one guy’s son? I heard he’d kill anyone who went near you.’ Like, how does he make something like that known? Why does everyone know we’re related? We don’t look that much alike.”

They did.

“I started this job to get fucked by guys! And I haven’t been fucked by one guy! This sucks! I’m horny!”

At some point, Zero had put his face in his hands. He clearly hadn’t had enough to drink, and neither had I. The other boys talked about far more explicit things. I could deal with that, but I’d known Manabu since he was a baby.

“Uncle,” he whined. “You can get me a client, right?”

We’d already had this conversation too many times, and I rubbed my fingers across my forehead as I repeated my usual line. “We’ll get you one.” 

“Would I be more appealing if I weren’t a virgin?”

Zero whispered a scream as I threw up my hands. “I’m throwing in the towel on this conversation. Your contract says you stay a virgin ‘til- so just- I’m going to go drink.”

“Boo,” Manabu called as I skittered toward the door. “Uncle Phantom, get me a guy to sleep with, or I’ll keep telling you these things!”

“I’ll sleep with him!” I heard Mamoru yell from his room next-door to Zero’s.

“No!” I snapped at both of them, caught between the rooms. “Both of you be quiet! There are minors present!”

“Captain, it’s a brothel,” Mamoru yelled back.

“But it’s my brothel! I make the rules!”

Manabu appeared in the door-frame, leaning against it with the same unamused look in his eyes that his father got. “Do I still count as a virgin if it’s just like handjobs?”

Unable to look at him, I pointed down the hall. “No. Now go to your room. You’re in timeout.”

“Time out? You’re not my dad.”

“I’m your boss!”

“Timeout,” Zero said. Glancing up, I saw him pushing Manabu toward his room. “Off you go.”

“So is it a brothel or a daycare?” Mamoru asked as he peered out of his room. “We’ve got all the usual daycare trappings: brightly colored rooms, timeout, actual children.”

“You’re in timeout too,” I said, pushing against his head to shove him back inside.

I was far, far too sober to deal with them.

Monono found me sitting on the kitchen countertop holding a bottle of wine. He had me move my legs so he could get into the cabinets. “I need some of that for cooking, so don’t drink it all,” he said.

“Why did I hire my nephew?” I whispered.

“I dunno. It was pretty weird,” he said, examining a wok.

“His father is going to kill me.”

“Probably- Dick, put a shirt on!”

I looked up to find my other brother poking around in the fridge. He didn’t have pants on either, just his boxers, though he’d clearly showered judging by the wet hair sticking to his cheeks. “Dick, put a shirt on,” I said.

“Yeah-yeah. I’m hungry.” He pulled out an apple and took a bite. “I don’t know why you’re all stressed about hiring family,” he said between chews. “Hired me.”

“Don’t remind me.” I had actually been drunk at the time, but he’d begged me for the job just like Manabu had.

“That guy was alright,” he said. “Hope he comes back. Easy money. Did you get the new wanted list today?”

“Mm-hm,” I said through another swig of wine.

“Anyone interesting?”

“No.”

“Anyone hot?”

“Absolutely not.”

Why was all of my family like this?

Daiba walked in, looking annoyed as usual. “Hey, Captain- Dick, where the fuck are your clothes?”

“On the floor,” Dick said.

For once, Daiba reined in his urge to scream at Dick, turning back toward me. “A client showed up without warning. Should I kick his ass?”

“Not yet. If he’s new I’ll have to talk to him and do a background check.” Not that I was in the best state to do that, but I’d been worse. “Put some clothes on, Dick,” I said as I hopped down from the counter. “You can’t go around looking like that when we have clients.”

He cocked a brow and gestured at his bare torso. “But isn’t this what they’re here for?”

Clients were usually only interested in what was below the belt, but this was the last conversation I wanted to have with my brother, so I muttered another “Put some clothes on,” and headed for the foyer.

Clients came in a set few breeds I’d come to know over time. This guy was one of the rare exceptions. He sat on the longer lounge couch, wearing an easygoing smile that reached eyes the color of a fresh bruise. Susumu sat nearby, clearly charmed by whatever he was saying, or at least acting the part to earn his favor. He may have been from the same race as Shep or a related one, as his skin was about the same shade of blue, his hair blond like a wheat field. He may have been military judging from the gray uniform.

But even the occasional SDF member or soldier we got never saw fit to sit and talk with the boys. Tolerable clients saw the boys as workers, though viewing them like tools was more common. Only a handful ever treated them like people.

Manabu and Mamoru must have still been in timeout, but Zero and Shep were seated nearby as well. Shep wore his usual smile, while Zero couldn’t hide his curiosity.

“I admit, I didn’t know what to expect coming in,” the man was saying. “I heard good things, and the decor is certainly nice. The company is not bad either,  though it’s quieter than I was expecting.”

“We don’t have many clients scheduled on Mondays,” I said.

His piercing eyes shot toward me, bright with interest. “I suppose I came at the right time then. Are you the man in charge?”

“I am. You may call me Harlock.”

“Desslar,” he said with that winning smile.

Shep’s eyes widened. Zero’s jaw dropped. I shook my head. Surely not… “Abelt Desslar?”

“The Galman king?” Susumu asked.

With a soft laugh, he scratched at his cheek with a gloved hand. “Ah, it seems I’ve been found out, though ‘king’ is such a human term. I’d prefer to avoid any formalities while I’m here if that’s alright.”

“Well aren’t we moving up in the world?” Zero muttered. “Entertaining royalty along with our criminals.”

This may have been one of the “stupid” things my older brother warned me not to do, but then again, who paid better than royalty?

#space pirate captain harlock #captain harlock #galaxy railways #harlock fic #zero fic #cwz fic #galaxy railways fic #manabu fic #wataru fic #daiba fic #dick coyne fic #monono fic #mamoru k fic #susumu fic #shep fic #good lord there are too many characters