#la squadra simp
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Ultimate Goth GF Showdown
#i'm expecting this one to burn down my notes#they're both so HOT i have no idea who 'im expecting to win at all#but i'm all for abbacchio#i simp for him too much to consider risotto#even though he's def the hottest in la squadra#leone abbacchio#risotto nero#jjba risotto#vento aureo#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo's bizarre adventure#jjba#who's hotter jjba
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YOURE SO KIND FOR FEEDING CHEESE NATION!!!! u write so well chief
Thank youuu!! I'm happy to provide. I'm always a simp for Formaggio. Always. 🧀🧎♀️
also wait being called chief makes me so soft for some reason?? tysm 🥺
You know what? I'm gonna do it again. Take some more cheese content.
Your First Kiss with Formaggio
(Expanding on an idea I originally put here)
"Yes, yes, yes! Come on!" Formaggio cheered on the players on his favorite soccer team. His yelling mixed with the loud noise of the crowd through the TV speakers made it seem like you two weren't the only ones in the room. It really shouldn't be possible for it to be so loud, but here you were. You were the only one who ever agreed to watch soccer with Formaggio anymore. Maybe that was why...
You didn't mind much, though. You could put up with the noise and watching something that wasn't really your style for Formaggio. He'd quickly become your best friend after joining La Squadra. He was just never awkward with you, just warm and friendly and playful, quickly winning your friendship. Before you knew it, his playful nature and bright smile had won your heart as well.
That's probably why you always jumped at the chance to watch soccer with him. You loved to see him so excited, and the promise of being alone with him was the cherry on top.
The night had been fun, per the usual of time spent with Formaggio. He'd come running to find you as soon as the opening ceremonies started, not wanting you to miss any of the game. You'd plopped down on the couch, sitting right next to him with a smile. You two cracked open a few beers and started watching the game. Well, he started watching the game. You weren't too interested in it and spent most of your time watching him instead.
Time had escaped you, and it was now nearing the end of the game. You could tell by how much more excited he became with every passing second. He seemed so much more excited than usual, so you decided to actually tune in for once.
It was the last few minutes of the game. Formaggio's team, and yours by extension, was behind, but they had the ball. Formaggio cheered excitedly when they scored a goal.
He grabbed your shoulder tightly. "It's tied up. We're so close!" Your attention on the game wavered due to him touching you. The action seemed to fill your head and stomach with butterflies.
Formaggio began to get louder and louder in his cheering, and you glanced back at the TV just in time to see the winning goal, the ball going into the net at the very last second.
Formaggio jumped to his feet, entirely overjoyed that his team had made such a play. In his excitement, he grabbed onto your face and planted a huge kiss right on your lips. He stood back up straight and continued celebrating, while you're left stunned. You brought a hand to your lips, touching them as if making sure you were real, and blushed.
"Come on, [Y/N]! Why aren't you celebrating? You saw that comeback!"
"I did but I... Y-you... We..." You were unable to form a sentence.
"What was that, sugar?" he asked, finally dropping his volume back to his regular speaking voice.
"You," you swallowed hard trying to get the words out, "You kissed me."
His eyes went wide as he replayed the past few minutes and realized what he had done. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, suddenly quiet. "That was kind of uncalled for and totally out of the blue. I just got too excited and... Well. At least you know how I feel." He laughed gently, but watched you expectantly for your answer.
"It's alright, Formaggio. I, uh, I liked it." Your cheeks were on fire as you admitted this to him.
"Oh?" He quirked his eyebrows up at you and moved his face closer to yours once again. "Maybe I should make it up to you with an apology kiss then."
#ksksksksks simping hours lmao#love that man sm#golden wind#jjba part 5#jjba#la squadra#la squadra esecuzioni#jojo formaggio#formaggio#jjba formaggio#anon ask
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my favourite part about learning italian is figuring out what you say in the tags. half of the fun is following you for your great taste in art, but the other half is reading all your funny comments 💖💖
Tags?!
W-what Tags?! I hahahah-I don't know what you're talking about anon...
T-Thanks anyway!
Half of these are simping moments...
#se lo dici a qualcuno che simpo nei tag#te faccio corcare#sto scherzando#mantieni il segreto anon#la principessa della squadra#part 5 vento aureo#ghiaccio#risotto#ghiaccio simping#la squadra#made in italy#italiano#jojo in italiano
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bro am i really out here simping over risotto now...?
...
...yes i am
AND NO REGRETS!!
#HOW COME I DIDNT SIMP OVER HIM THE FIRST TIME WHEN I STARTED GOLDEN WIND#WTF#LIKE BRO#HE IS FINE AF#I'LL MARRY HIM IF HE WANTS ME TO#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo's bizarre adventure#golden wind#vento aureo#la squadra#risotto nero#anime#kristin's faves
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La Squadra and how they manage to survive the summer because...you guessed it, they are too poor and Diavolo won't give them a break lol 🤣🤣
Risotto ✂️: steal all the fans in the lair
He's the boss so he has all the rights to gather the fans around him. Being so pale also is a curse for him cause he doesn't tan...he becomes la Pimpa's cousin ( la pimpa is a red and white dog from a children's book if you don't know)
No matter how much sunscreen he puts on, the sun will burn him either way...so he prefers to stay inside sorrounded by his lil army of windy electronic slaves.
No one dares to say anything to him, a mad risotto means ouchies for the others.
Prosciutto 🍖: Circolo Arci lifestyle
This sicilian hottie ( benny stop simping for Gucci's sake!!) Has way too much class to let the summer's heat wave reduce him to an ameba!
So in all his years of experience he found the perfect place to hide during the warmest days: the local Circolo Arci's bar! He will go there around 13 pm and stay till 19:30, where he'll either watch tv or play cards with the senior citizens who also came to seek refuge from the heat wave.
Call him old, but at least he can enjoy the air conditioning system as much as he wants, even if that means loose at Briscola every single time.
Formaggio 🧀: I'm not an alcoholic, i'm a sommelier
Formaggio, being the king of drinks, will make cold cocktails for everyone...but especially for himself.
Using Little Feet he'll also shrink so he can lay on the ice cubes and enjoy the freshness till he can, even swimming in a cold glass of Gin Lemon!! Illuso one time found him using a lemon slice as a floatie.
After a long, tiring, hot day there's nothing better than the cheese man famous Negroni Sbagliato; but watch out for the ice...he may have layed there commando previously, just ask for the ones in the freezer, just in case..
Melone 🍈: decency? What's that?
You guessed it, this tuscan weirdo will literally walk around his apartment totally naked with the windows open; he won't absolutely care about the screams of the neighbours or that someone might call the police, IS TOO HOT TO BOTHER!!
If he lived closer to tuscany he would have escaped to Follonica a loooong time ago, but since he has to stay nearby ( and honestly he hates Napoli's beach ) for the missions he just cosplay as Adam inside his own house.
He has to put stickers notes on the fridge to remember to get dressed before gljng out tho, one time he forgot and his neighbour screamed so loud she cracked a window...
Illuso 🔎: local swimming pool diva
Sun hat? Check! Versace swimsuit? Check! Will to ruin everybody elses fun time? C H E C K~
Illuso is the person you DON'T wanna have to deal with at your local swimming pool area: he is loud, snarky, will make children cry, be a karen to the staff...JUST CAUSE HE IS BORED!!
You'll see him coming looking like an italian Barbie malibu, and once he decides he wants your spot in the pool, he'll make everything in his power to make you leave...
Luckily summer only last 3 months...
Ghiaccio 🧊: the lucky b*tch
His stand it's his blessing during the summer, White Album automatically regulates his body temperature so he is never too hot or too cold! The lucky b*stard smirks and walk around the lair not breaking a sweat!!
He will wear only a pair of light sweatpants, chug a beer and snicker " Why so bothered? Is not THAT hot ahahahah!!"
Either that or he'll go train early in the morning like gym bro he is, some say he'll even whistle while doing push ups.
Ghiaccio doesn't like summer, but he likes seeing people miserable soooo...it is what it is
#jojo part 5#la squadra#la squadra headcanons#benny writes#summer time#i want a popsicle so bad#is too hot today#jjba risotto#jjba prosciutto#jjba formaggio#jjba illuso#jjba melone#jjba ghiaccio
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Rambling about Passione Yanderes Part 01
Author’s Note:
Hello again, my lovely audience! It seems I promise to have weekly post and then I burn out by February or May. Let’s see if I can change that! This is DEFINITELY going to be weekly because I already got 3 of them done and I’m so excited to do the rest. I always admired the 240 yandere prompts Sadly, the original post got deleted when the creator deactivated, but I still got the prompts! I’ll be posting these 20 at a time weekly.
Summary: Over-analyzing yandere quotes. I’m rambling about who would say what quote and why (not).
Prompt 01 to 20
1. “You’re safer with me!”
2. “You can’t go because I won’t let you.”
3. “I don’t want you to talk to them ever again.”
4. “You’re mine. All mine.”
5. “Come on, smile for me!”
6. “You look so beautiful when you cry.”
7. “Who hurt you?”
8. “I’ll kill them all. For you.”
9. “The most safest place in the world is with me.”
10. “Why do you keep trying to run away?”
11. “Stop fighting me!”
12. “You do love me…right?”
13. “I will never leave you.”
14. “You can do whatever you want to me.”
15. “I’ll give you every little piece of me. Just don’t leave me.”
16. “I need you more than I need air to breathe.”
17. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, so please don’t go.”
18. “Stay forever.”
19. “Just tell me you love me—even if you don’t, I don’t care. I just need to hear you say it.”
20. “I-I’ll do everything you ask of me! Just please…please don’t leave me!”
Categories I put them in
Threatening Yandere:
When the yandere is more Yanderu than Dere-Dere.
2. “You can’t go because I won’t let you.”
10. “Why do you keep trying to run away?”
11. “Stop fighting me!”
This is when they show their true colors to darling. The ones I see saying this word for word are the ones that I think are more aggressive with darling.
Who would say them:
La Squadra except Formaggio - I think cheese boy is Self-Aware and Sadistic enough to not care about resistance. MAYBE not Melone because he could be strategic enough to keep darling from fighting him (and Baby Face is a great tracking stand). Both Melone and Formmagio would most likely love the struggle.
As for the Bucci gang: Everyone except Mista. I feel like Mista’s too delusional to snap at you, but when you do get him to that point, it’s more “First shoot, lecture later”. There will be enough time to lecture you about your behavior after he shoots your leg (or the person you attempt to “cheat” on him with).
Everyone
Everyone would say it because it’s Classic Yandere dialogue:
4. “You’re mine. All mine.”
5. “Come on, smile for me!”
7. “Who hurt you?”
8. “I’ll kill them all. For you.”
13. “I will never leave you.”
18. “Stay forever.”
Simps
Simps with love esteem and/or desperation for love:
12. “You do love me…right?”
14. “You can do whatever you want to me.”
15. “I’ll give you every little piece of me. Just don’t leave me.”
16. “I need you more than I need air to breathe.”
17. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, so please don’t go.”
19. “Just tell me you love me—even if you don’t, I don’t care. I just need to hear you say it.”
20. “I-I’ll do everything you ask of me! Just please…please don’t leave me!”
Who would say them:
Narancia, Pesci, and a drunk Abbacchio. Maybe even Ghiaccio. I feel like these guys are the most "I'm begging you, please love me" types of Passione. Also, I think the others would be too prideful to outright beg darling for love.
#Yandere#jojo's bizarre adventure#Golden Wind#vento aureo#yandere bucci gang#yandere la squadra#Risotto Nero#Giorno#Narancia#Trish Una#bruno buccerati#Abbacchio#Mista#fugo#ghiaccio#formaggio#pesci#prosciutto#illuso#Melone
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masterlist
guteater’s repertoire of jojo writing
old blog @minty-is-a-simp
brief intro —
my name is guteater, im twenty years young, and i have an unhealthy obsession with goth men. if im not in a college lecture, writing, playing games, or doing carrd commissions, im writing jojo fics. i might post some of my original stuff, only if enough people ask !
besides jojo my current work is “wandering souls”, a novel loosely based on “the divine comedy” by dante
my carrd w more info on me :)
thus far i only have writings on la squadra and abbacchio ::
Golden Wind
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hello! i hope you’re having a good day so far! :D i was wondering if i could request for some headcanons of la squadra reacting to the fem! reader who’s normally a bit quiet and introverted, but they eventually find out she’s got quiet a perverted mind? like anytime someone says something remotely dirty, she’ll snicker and mumble “that’s what she said!”. and whenever the reader’s watching a TV show and her favorite character (especially one she simps hardcore over) shows up on screen, she’s like “stop lookin’ so fine, you’re making me wanna strip off all my clothes and wait for you to come home so you can fuck me—” (not @ me putting myself on blast 😂😭) the only reason why the reader initially doesn’t show off her perverted jokes to the squad when she first meets them is because how serious their jobs are and they don’t have much time for jokes. plus, she wasn’t sure if any one of the members were comfortable with her making so many dirty jokes, so she just waits until she knows for sure they don’t mind. tysm! <3
Hello! Sorry for the wait! I hope you're having an amazing day!
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
La Squadra W/ A Dirty-Minded Reader
Risotto
Risotto’s sense of humour is very subtle. He’s more reserved, his laugh and quiet and deep thing that can easily be overlooked.
The things he finds funny are caused by the unexpected – something unusual that happens with animals or people. He also appreciates satire and things that break the norm.
Your commentary is surprising to him. It’s not something he would have expected from you and it almost makes him chuckle the first few times you do it.
He’s happy you’re becoming more comfortable around the group and appreciates the display of your real personality. He often wishes more were honest with themselves.
Eventually you’ll say something outlandish enough that he won’t be able to keep his laughter soft and his deep, rich chuckle will be heard.
Formaggio
Formaggio finds entertainment in pretty much any and all jokes. Dad jokes, pervy comments, it’s all the funniest thing he’s heard to date.
He’s always got something new to chuckle about and he’ll gladly share with the entire group and any passersby. His loud and unabashed laughter draws attention.
The first time you make a comment, he’ll provide a barking laugh and demand you repeat yourself with a smug grin.
He’ll be your greatest ally in jokes. Anything you say, he’ll match and turn into a competition for the best commentary.
The two of you are a perfect combination for terrorizing those in the group who don’t find your humour enjoyable. Formaggio encourages you as much as he can.
Illuso
Illuso’s humour is borderline sadistic in many ways: teasing that oftentimes goes too far and whispered comments to try cause internal strife.
It’s not truly out of pure maliciousness and he often underestimates how harmful his remarks can be. He simply finds the reactions to be funny.
He takes a short second to realise what you’ve said in the beginning, tilting his head to watch you. He’ll need to see the others’ expressions with this.
He’ll respond to your jokes smoothly, adding in quietly against your ear, or teasing you about what you said at a later date.
There’s no way you’ll manage to get him to laugh properly with your comments but you can get him to chuckle which is as good.
Prosciutto
Prosciutto likes to pretend he’s got a ‘higher’ sense of humour. This is especially true when he’s surrounded by other members of La Squadra.
He understands jokes in operas and ballets and will always make sure others know this, though secretly, he finds dirty jokes funnier than some of his ‘sophistication’.
Your perverted mind will certainly surprise him and the first few times will be brushed off and ignored. He blames Formaggio for influencing you.
Expect to receive glares if your comments come at the wrong time or unimpressed stares at your commentary while watching a show.
You can make him laugh though and he will deny it until his dying day. It’s surprisingly simple. Just keep making remarks and eventually his façade falls.
Pesci
Pesci has a wide range of things he finds funny but he sometimes gets too flustered to laugh in front of others, worried they won’t share his opinion on the subject.
He doesn’t actively share his jokes or comments with the rest of the group so he understands when others don’t feel inclined to do so either.
When you make a dirty joke in front of him the first time, it genuinely startles him enough for you to notice due to his expression change.
He’s genuinely happy that you’re becoming more comfortable around him and offers a customary laugh, even if he doesn’t find your comment funny.
You’d be surprised how quickly he picks up on your form of humour. He mimics it, telling you jokes that he thinks you’d enjoy when nobody else is listening.
Melone
Melone, in general, finds humour to lie more in subtle jokes – often rooted in topics that make little sense to those who don’t share his interests.
Medical and biological terminology, astrology, and other things. He doesn’t so much as laugh but instead prefers to chuckle beneath his breath.
When you make a dirty joke or comment around him, he’ll give a small huff to show he heard but will offer no other reaction.
He expected there to be a different aspect to your personality than the quiet front you put up and he’s fairly happy to see that it’s nothing irritating.
He does take note of the people you make the most commentary about, interested to see if your ideal fits into what your star signs and blood type say it should be.
Ghiaccio
Ghiaccio lies and says he doesn’t find dirty humour funny. He lies and says that he dislikes all forms of ‘stupid’ jokes.
The truth is that, while his favourites are videos of animals doing funny (though not getting hurt) things, he honestly can’t help but snicker at comments like yours.
The first time you make a remark about a television character, he turns red and snaps at you to not be ridiculous. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to lecture.
Your jokes will often invoke scowls if they’re said to others or blushes if they’re whispered to him. His irritated huffs are almost as funny as the situation itself.
He never admits to wanting to laugh at some of the things you say and demands that you need to focus on the situation at hand.
Sorbet
Sorbet’s sense of humour in unusual. It’s nearly impossible to narrow down even if you’re spending a great deal of time in his company.
He finds entertainment in sarcastic commentary and snarky remarks as long as he’s the one making them. He doesn’t appreciate it from others.
When you become comfortable enough to make comments around him, he will ignore them for the most part. If that’s what you want to do then he’s okay with it.
If you say something that’s too inappropriate in his mind, he’ll give you a look before continuing on with the rest of his conversation.
When you do get a real reaction from him is with your commentary on television characters. He’s the jealous type in all aspects.
Gelato
Gelato has a very mixed sense of humour and the more obnoxious or corny a joke is, the better he finds it to be. He laughs like a hyena and it’s infectious.
Pretty much any joke or pun with the right timing can set him off and once he gets on a roll, anything and everything becomes far more entertaining.
He always suspected that your sense of humour could be more perverted but he never knew for sure. He’s very pleased to be proven right.
There’s never a bad time to make a comment near him. He’ll find them funny no matter what, even if there’s a job going on at the moment.
He’s a natural compliment to anything you say, always knowing what to add on to get you to laugh just as hard as he is until your sides are aching.
#la squadra x reader#risotto x reader#formaggio x reader#illuso x reader#prosciutto x reader#pesci x reader#ghiaccio x reader#melone x reader#sorlato x reader#sorbet x reader#gelato x reader#sorbet and gelato x reader#melone#formaggio#prosciutto#ghiaccio#pesci#illuso#risotto nero#la squadra headcanons#sorbet and gelato#gelato jjba#sorbet jjba#melone jjba#illuso jjba#risotto jjba#prosciutto jjba#ghiaccio jjba#formaggio jjba#pesci jjba
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hello! hope you’re having an awesome day so far. hopefully requests for matchups are still open. if not, please disregard this LMAO 😂😭 also, i apologize if this is a bit too long—
i’d like a romantic matchup for the jjba fandom please! (i’ll take anyone from parts 1-6 except villains [but i’ll make an exception for la squadra tho, they’re the only villain squad in jjba i actually love LMAO])
i’m a filipino 18 year old (turning 19 next week as of writing this!), currently in my first year of college, studying pre-nursing. my pronouns are she/her, i identify as a female, and my sexuality is straight.
i have medium-length REALLY dark brown (it looks black but in light, you can see that it’s brown) hair with bangs, tan skin, and i wear glasses.
i’m pretty shy, quiet, and introverted around strangers. i usually prefer not to go up to someone and introduce myself; i’d rather have the person go up to me. but once we become friends and i slowly open myself up to you, i can be pretty talkative, outgoing, and a bit chaotic! (if you have at least on interest in common with me, i’m probably going to become friends with you almost immediately). i usually have no trouble meeting and sending messages to people on social media since no one can be able to sense how awkward and anxious i get (i’m like an introvert IRL, but an extrovert [?] online 😂)
within my close friend group and my cousins, they consider me to be the horniest one out of the bunch, simply because of my habit of frequently making dirty jokes and thirsty comments (altho this usually happens when i simp over my favorite anime characters HAHA). also, because of my habit of finding at least one new anime husband whenever i watch a new anime, my friends also call me the “double hushando worshipper” (weird, i know, but i like it 😂)
in my free time, i enjoy watching anime, reading manga, listening to music (my favorite genres are pop, j-pop, k-pop, dance-pop, and pop rock, but i’m down to listen to anything as long as it’s catchy!), eating, and collecting plushies (i definitely love cuddling them whenever i sleep). i’m in love anything considered cute and pastel. i’m also obsessed with the brand sanrio (the one who created hello kitty), and my favorite characters are cinnamoroll and gudetama. as suggested in my college major, i’d like to be a nurse in the future, but i’m also looking into other career options still pertaining in the medical field :D
when it comes to having a partner, i really want someone who’s kind, respectful, loyal, trustworthy, and understanding. i’m someone who prefers to stay in my comfort zone almost 90% of the time, so i’d like my partner to kinda push me out of that zone, while also not being over pushing. i can also get insecure and compare myself to others from time to time, so i’d appreciate it if my partner can make me feel good about myself. i love my family a whole lot, and i’d really want my partner to get along with them; i have a group of cousins who i’m extremely close with (i consider them like my siblings), so i’d especially love my partner to get along with them too! i’m lowkey touch-starved so i’d definitely like some affection from my partner (i don’t like an excessive amount of PDA tho, an arm around me or a small kiss is fine). i don’t mind if my partner buys me items, but i’d definitely be concerned if they spend way too much, like spare your wallet some mercy please 😭 (and i’d also feel kinda guilty if i don’t have the money/time to get my partner something in return).
hopefully this is enough! <333
omg hi!!!! first of all, happy late birthday!! <33333 second of all this took me a while. i was deciding between two men and FINALLY found the PERFECT MAN FOR YOU!! so without further ado...
the character I chose for you is...
JOSUKE HIGASHIKATA!!
LIKE COME ON
HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR
he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first
LIKE COME ON
HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR
he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first
i know in my heart that this man can braid your hair
idk why i just feel it
so he does
a lot
i mean, he has gorgeous hair himself so he can really make your hair look stunning
when you and him text, it is pure chaos
you guys are so funny and cute and there are too many memes and way too many jokes
and lots of i love yous ofccc <333
it may seem like you are quiet around him sometimes to others, but josuke knows how loving and amazing of a partner you are <333
okay
you're both horny fr
like both really dirty jokes and random joking smirks from across the table at each other
it's chaos and everyone thinks you guys are hilarious
this man buys you stuffies all the time and then cuddles you and watches anime
you get him into a BUNCH of new anime
it's already canon that he's a huge manga nerd, but what if he just kept it at manga? what if he's not a huge anime watcher, but knows everything about the new animes that come out?
you get to watch the new episodes with him and see his reaction to his favorite manga scenes being fully animated
you and this man can eat for DAYS
like most of the time when you're hanging out, there are snacks involved
please give him sanrio and hello kitty pins to put on his jacket because gurl you know he's gonna wear em
and pull them off too
he loves your vibe
like the whole cutesy and pastel vibe
it's just cute and kinda awesome to him
plus the more stuffed animals, the more cuddles tee hee
he thinks it is so cool that you want to be a nurse
he has a stand that does the work for him and can heal people, but to see that you can do it without an ability has him admiring you forever
plus, with how sweet and amazing you are, of course you would do something so sweet to others and you just amaze him everyday
but dont stress yourself out! and if you ever do, he's got your back
he's always proud of you and can help you through any situation that you encounter with a hug and a kiss on the forehead
he definitely will more than respect your comfort zone, but will definitely encourage you to go on adventures with him and be his forever partner, even through the rough patches
he is more than respectful, trustworthy, and loyal to you and seriously cannot take his eyes off of you
you found yourself the most loving boyfriend who will always care for you, even if you two fight every now and again
also regarding PDA, he is completely understanding of your space in public, but will definitely be holding your hand or having his arm around your shoulder <3
he will definitely smother you in lots of love at home though and make your touch starvedness disappear, but always have you craving his hugs <3
this man loves your family and they love him
he's just so respectful and funny that it's hard not to love him
and he wants to be super close to your family because it helps him get even closer to you <3
and about the whole money thing...
sorry
this man has a problem
help him lmaoooo
but you definitely encourage him to calm down on the spending habits lol
you found yourself the perfect man <333
~~~~~
matchup rules --- pinned post
@tonberry-yoda
#i hope you like it#all the detail really helped me put together the perfect matchup so thank you for that <3#jjba#writing#fanfic#my writing#fanfiction#<3#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba x reader#jojos bizarre adventure x reader#josuke#josuke higashikata#josuke x reader#josuke higashikata x reader#jjba part 3#diu#diamond is unbreakable
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Guys, listen up. With Risotto being the first DLC character in ASBR, I think we have a good chance of Illuso being added if we can prove that enough people want him. The admin for the game’s official Twitter stated that they view us as a collective, and pitch feedback based on what the crowd is asking for. Which makes a lot of sense given Risotto was a lot of peoples most wanted character. So that said, I think we La Squadra simps should start making some noise. We already have Prosciutto, Pesci, Ghiaccio and Risotto. So all we need now is Illuso, Melone and Formaggio. And bias aside, I think Illuso has the best chance given he’s the most suited for a fighting game imo. I really want Melone and Formaggio too but they may a bit trickier to make work. But anyway, ILLUSO NATION RISE UP!!!
#illuso#risotto nero#melone#formaggio#prosciutto#pesci#ghiaccio#la squadra di esecuzione#jojo’s bizarre adventure#all-star battle r#golden wind#vento aureo#jjba#asbr
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Part I
More Genshin x La Squadra headcanons. It was only supposed to be about which weapon I'd give members of La Squadra, but then some little ideas started sprouting out.
*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *. • ･ ✧.｡. *. • ･ ✧.｡. *. • ･ ✧.｡. *. • ･ ✧.｡. *
🌈DNI: TERFs, Harassers, RadFems, racists, bigots, anti-LGBT+'s, trolls, haters, MAPs, anti self & OC shippers. If you don't like Genshin Impact, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, or both and have the intention of commenting some complaints or about either "being cringe," block me, keep scrolling, or I will block you.🌈
¹ Sorbet & Gelato
Vision: Cryo & Pyro
Weapon: Catalyst
Role: Buffers
Origin: Liyue
They have unnamed Stands and gathered information on Diavolo without their teammates knowing, most likely making them the intel members of their team, before Illuso stepped in, and a duo who works best from a distance. The Cryo-Pyro elements came up with Sorbet's love of "cold hard cash" and the duo being called the "more psychopathic" members of the team. That is all. Since not much else is known about either of them, I have them as catalyst users just because.
I also put both of them in Liyue for Sorbet's love of money. They would most likely be a criminal couple that run scams together. Their victims usually being tourists and treasure hoarders alike.
² Risotto Nero
Vision: Cryo
Weapon: Claymore
Role: DPS
Origin: Inazuma
Don't get your hopes up. Despite being a stealthy and seasoned hitman, Risotto would be a Cryo CLAYMORE character rather than a sword user. Since he works best on his own, Risotto would essentially be a hyper-carry who needs a team that buffs and heals him. His stoic and no-nonsense attitude is more suited to the blunt, devastating damage of a claymore. Also, big, beefy, goth man. He don't need a tooth pick. Whether you'd build him as a Phy DMG or Cryo DMG unit would be up to you.
Regular swords also work in his favor if you keep the assassin theme with him. I considered a catalyst for him due to Metallica as a mid range Stand, but it seemed too "romantic" for someone like Risotto. He's the type of person to just punch you to get what he wants. Please refer to this scene from the anime. ⚠️TW for blood spatter.
As a Player: Became an Eula main by ✨️accident.✨️ He didn’t know what was going on because everyone was shouting at him to start playing. Wished on her first running banner. Got her 3x in one pull and C4 on a single. Got her signature weapon up to R3 without trying. All of his teammates who genuinely play Genshin are jealous. He wanted Diluc at first.
Has Ghiaccio and Pesci help him with his account.
³ Illuso
Vision: Electro
Weapon: Claymore
Role: sub-DPS
Origin: Fontaine
He's the kind of guy to panicccc and swing the nearest object to him at whatever was attacking. If you've seen this guy fight in the "Purple Haze vs Man in the Mirror" fight, he's Such A Babi. 🤧 You could consider catalyst or bow, something that keeps him out of immediate danger, but Illuso wouldn't have the patience for spellcraft or discipline for a bow. Although catalysts and bows give him the distance to attack and look down on others, they don't give Illuso the instant gratification of subduing his enemies.
I say he comes from Fontaine because he is a dramatic snob. 😤
As a Player: Yae Miko stan. No arguments against that. He's a sassy fucker, who would main another sass master. He also simps for her.
⁴ Prosciutto
Vision: Geo
Weapon: Bow
Role: sub-DPS
Origin: Snezhnaya
Also a character with a no-nonsense attitude, but instead of the blunt force of a claymore, Prosciutto would favor a bow because of its reliance on precision and speed. He's the type of person to get to the point and defeat his enemies with cold accuracy. It's all business afterall.
As a Player: 10/10 the type of guy to say "skill issue" if you cry to him about hating bow characters, especially because of the aiming feature. Subsequently, would main a mono Geo team with Zhongli, Gorou, or Albedo as the main piece. The last one or two slots are random... Prosciutto doesn't care about anyone else. He only cares about his mains. He regrets not starting Genshin when the Dragonspine/Albedo event happened because he can't get Albedo's signature weapon or learn more about Albedo, but he would never admit it.
⁵ Melone
Vision: Electro
Weapon: Polearm
Role: Buffer
Origin: Sumeru
This man looks flexible and agile. He's shown not to be afraid of physical damage or confronting the "mothers" of his Juniors, so I thought polearm would suit him best. A polearm also matches his flexibility and creativity because it's a weapon that can easily be used for stabbing and slashing at one point, but also blunt force trauma on the opposite. It gives him the distance he would need to observe his enemies or parry attacks.
Melone is from Sumeru for his curiosity and whimsical ideals. Although he graduated from Sumeru Akademiya, he was always on the verge of getting expelled because his peers thought he was "too outlandish and ambitious." Unlike a certain mad scientist though, Melone knew how to keep his real personality under wraps, lest he lose funding for his research projects. Unfortunately, his closest friend was not as disciplined as he was.
As a Player: Also a Yae Miko stan, but has the best Raiden out of everyone as f2p, C4R1, multiple weapons and artifact sets prepared for different occasions. Has also made a team of all short characters and called them the "Chibi Squad."
⁶ Ghiaccio
Vision: Pyro
Weapon: Catalyst
Role: DPS
Origin: Sumeru
He likes explosions. . ./hj It matches his overall personality, his analytical nature, and explosive temper. Unlike Risotto or Illuso, who don't have the patience for a catalyst or spellcraft, Ghiaccio is constantly learning and improving his battle capabilities even in the middle of combat.
He is also from Sumeru and is the friend that didn't graduate from the Akademiya because he could never cooperate with other students or pitch his research proposals. He never got anyone to understand the purpose of his research projects. Any form of criticism he got for his proposals, he would get into fights with the professor. And teacher's assistants. And his classmates. Melone could not salvage his reputation, so when Ghiaccio left Sumeru, Melone left too.
As a Player: He started as an Albedo main; slammed face first and head over heels for Ayaka, and now stans Wriothesley. He has spent money on this game, much to his friends' chagrin.
⁷ Pesci
Vision: Hydro
Weapon: Bow
Role: Buffer
Origin: Mondstadt
He wants to follow in the footsteps of his big brother, Prosciutto, but he's the superior choice if you want a bow character on your team. If you were to keep him on field, Pesci's unit would rely on normal attacks and his burst. Due to Beach Boy's influence, Pesci as a Genshin character would have tracking capabilities where his normal attacks will always hit their mark. Pesci is the only one to come from Mondstadt simply because he is the most insecure of the team, until he gets aggravated. With Mondstadt being the nation of freedom, he would find it peaceful, but boring. There wouldn't be any means of improving himself and with him being an Italian gangster in JJBA, the Knights would be out of the question for him; probably became a criminal in Mondstadt for a meager reason like petry theft.
As a Player: He doesn't know what he's doing, but he's doing his best. Pesci’s characters tend to have weak artifacts, and fully built weapons, but he forgot constellations existed. He is also the only player who genuinely enjoys the game. He and Melone have game nights, where Illuso and Formaggio sometimes join.
⁸ Formaggio
Vision: Anemo
Weapon: Sword
Role: sub-DPS
Origin: Liyue
Formaggio is a simple man. He likes to slash and strike fast. His added Anemo element just makes damage from elemental reactions easier. He would also be from Liyue, and much like Sorbet and Gelato, is very good at scamming or getting in-and-out of contracts whenever he wants. Yanfei and Yelan would despise him.
As a Player: He prefers swordsman because of how fast the damage output its. Formaggio would start as a Traveler main simply because they are the easiest character to build, but gradually started using his 5 stars more. Now he mains Kazuha but keeps a C6R5 Keqing unit on standby. He kept losing his 50/50 to her and he is now one of those people who will die on the hill that she is still one of the best units. He chose Lumine because he thought she was cute.
𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷
Genshin!La Squadra has no healer. So, if anyone is hurt, they just keep going until everyone dies or someone finishes the enemy.
Yea- I've been thinking about Genshin!LS for some time. They all somehow coalesced under Risotto due to being chased out of their own territories and gathered, forming a mercenary team. (We don't talk about how Risotto leaves and re-enters Inazuma. He just can. 💅) They still aren't happy with how things ended up because they're still working under someone of higher authority.
Thx for stopping by.
#crossover#au#jjba x genshin impact#JJBA AU#genshin au#jjba pt 5#la squadra headcanons#la squadra hcs#video games#manga#anime#la squadra#If you don't like the content you don't have to be here
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When you reblogged the “who are you currently simping for post” what were the gifs from?
Sorry anon, I 've found those gif a long time ago and I don't know who's the original author, all I know is that they come from a fanmade Vento Aureo trailer.
I've seen them for the first time in this lo-fi video:
youtube
-La Principessa della Squadra
#jjba#vento aureo#la squadra#jojo's bizarre adventure#ghiaccio#melone#prosciutto#la squadra esecuzioni#jojo#jojo lo-fi#lofi gif#risotto nero#formaggio#illuso#pesci#i've even made a pole dancing video with this song
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Obiettivi e buoni propositi 2023 (raggiungibili e non):
Parlare fluidamente con le persone (specialmente con le fighe) senza essere brillo
Dire più di 2 frasi in una giornata
Leggere ogni giorno almeno 10 minuti
Postare ogni giorno (In realtà quello più o meno lo sto già facendo)
Fidanzarmi (possibilmente con Nicky Passarella) ^^
Cercare di comportarmi in chat in modo da non venire ghostato dopo 3 messaggi ^
Raggiungere 1 milione di follower su ig ^
Riscrivere alla MISS il prossimo Oktoberfest a ottobre e uscirci insieme dal momento che potrebbe non essere ancora fidanzata; mi ha lasciato comunque nella speranza ^^
Uscire con Dua Lipa (quella vera) ^^
Uscire con Dua Lipa 💌
Uscire con Cleopatra
Ritrovare Bordeaux e uscirci insieme (magari andando ad assistere ad una lezione di filo con Alexander) ^
Trovarmi un lavoretto part-time e/ uno quest'estate
Passare meno ore sul divano
Passare meno ore al telefono
Imparare decentemente l'inglese guardando film ecc ^
Evitare di comportarmi da simp (in realtà non credo di esserlo nemmeno ora)
Realizzare Vlog di Ferragosto figo con falò e altri video fighi (devono spaccare)
Dimagrire 5 kg (o forse di più) per arrivare al peso forma ideale
Guidare la macchina con nonchalance (anche quella nuova che arriverà) senza essere un po' insicuro di morire in un incidente mortale
Non segnare le auto (nostre)
Cambiare segno zodiacale da Vergine a Toro (un po' fine questa)
Imparare a cucinare ^^
Disinstallare tik tok ^
Cercare di essere meno sbadato e perdere le cose ^
Migliorare cardio
Continuare ad essere al passo con gli esami
Ascoltare meno musica durante la giornata
Venire Matchato su Tinder più di adesso (LOL) ^
Imparare a fare le faccende di casa ^^
Esercitarmi con le cazzatine grafiche e informarmi su questi sbocchi lavorativi futuri
Evitare di chiedere a tutte le persone che conosco di uscire al Maleva ogni week-end
Non andare al Maleva a caso
Andare a settembre in una squadra vicina di casa in cui c'è un bel contesto tra amici, mister e compagni, (magari di seconda categoria).
Giocare titolare, ed essere pagato possibilmente
Legenda:
^ : improbabile
^^ : molto improbabile
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a week ago, i texted my friend, asking her if she would be surprised if i told her i simped over melone from jjba.
and bro, lemme tell you, she was HELLA SHOOK.
she literally was like “KRIS WHAT?!”
i mean ngl, even before starting golden wind, there was part of me that had thought i was gonna like melone. the way he was...perverted was something i liked in him LOL.
i’d honestly wanna join la squadra just to see melone and i can make constant dirty jokes with him while the rest of the members are like “GO TO HORNY JAIL YOU SICK FUCKS--”
#also he fine af#like damn#also this GIF of melone had me feeling things#makin' me wish he'd lick me *wink wonk*#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyō na bōken#golden wind#vento aureo#melone#anime#kristin's faves
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La squadra and what i think they would perform at Sanremo 2023 ( i'm choosing between the actual contestants this year )
Risotto ✂️: Paola e Chiara " Furore "
youtube
Goth Man would be living the best moment of his life, give him his dance/techno moment with a metallic lookin outfit please. Risotto with a mic is the definition of a Diva
Prosciutto 🍖: Tananai " Tango "
youtube
This is just my thirsty tuscan ass simping over the both of them...In my mind i can imagine Prosciutto singing this song to me, with a hoarse and deep voice...lifting my chin slowly....* faints *
Formaggio 🧀: Colla Zio " Non mi va "
youtube
Formaggio is laid back enough to sing this with their same energy, he would just vibe and have fun with the bandmates and audience ( Also give the cheeseman pastel wardrobe please )
Illuso 🔎: Anna Oxa " Sali ( canto dell'anima) "
youtube
They are basically the same person, and Illuso screaming at top of his lungs looking like the lovechild of Narcissa Malfoy and Stevie Nicks is honestly a mood.
Melone 🍈: "Rosa Chemical " Made in Italy "
youtube
Do i need really to say more? C'mon i think this masterpiece speak for itself and our favourite Toscanino Meloncino
( also i piedi made in italy 👀👀👀🤣🤣🤣)
Ghiaccio 🧊: Lazza " Cenere "
youtube
Has the right amount of angst and sadness that i think would suit Ghiaccio a lot. But honestly is just cause Blanco isn't a contestant this year, because Ghiaccio destroying roses and outraging the whole city of Sanremo? Yes please
Pesci 🐟: Sethu " Cause Perse "
youtube
Just because this poor guy is basically in last place and if Pesci was a Sanremo's contestant....he would have the same fate lol. We still love you sethu 🤣🤣
My jojo oc would sing this song 👉👈, please don't judge me 😭😭
I know it's not on the Sanremo list but is totally her vibe 👉👈🩷
youtube
#jojo part 5#la squadra#headcanon#sanremo 2023#oc#ci vediamo stasera alla finale cittini e cittine#jojo melone#jojo formaggio#jojo risotto#jojo pesci#jojo prosciutto#jojo ghiaccio#jojo illuso#Youtube
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Why not both :D
#jojos bizarre adventure#golden wind#la squadra esecuzioni#jojo part 5#vento aureo#la squadra#melone jjba#risotto nero#ghiaccio jjba#prosciutto jjba#illuso jjba#formaggio jjba#la squadra jojo#la squadra di esecuzione#la squadra meme#la squadra simp#golden wind meme#vento aureo meme#le bizzarre avventure di jojo#jojo no kimyō na bōken#fuck capitalism
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