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c0llisiion · 4 months

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NUMB TO THE FEELING : Sex Tape — J.jk

★pairing : jeon jungkook + fem!reader

★genre : smut

★: not proof read! idol!readerandjk, mean dom!jk , sub!reader , whiney!jk , slight anal play, fellacio, recording, pda maybe? , unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it.) doggy, hair pulling , name calling - lmk if i missed any!

★W/C: 1,647

Pt.1 , Pt.3 [ can be read as a stand alone but I recommend reading the first part!]

A/N: HELLOOOO im back lololol this took sometime but i hope you like it! Not proof read btw! So there might be a lot of mistakes! PLSSSS EXCUSE ITTTT!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ MDNI. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable. ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Jungkook was quick to capture your lips as you finished licking up his salty cum. His tongue forcefully entered your mouth. Hunger was laced all over the kiss. You involuntarily climbed onto his lap as the kiss deepened. Your hands holding his head as his hands started removing your now drenched shorts. You gave him the liberty and started leaving soft hickies on his neck. He held your neck in his grasp and pulled you away. You whined and he pressed the sides of your neck gently before speaking up. “Go get your polaroid. Now.” He commanded and you nodded like a good girl before rushing into your closet to get the polaroid he bought for you.

When you returned you saw jungkook sitting on the edge of your bed, stroking his hardening cock. His clothes were discarded. God he looked so hot. You walked up to him and handed the polaroid, immediately kneeling infront of his crotch as he turned on the polaroid.

You rested your forearms on his thighs, bringing your face closer to his dick, licking up from the underside to his tip, capturing the aching head in your mouth. Jungkook hissed and kept the polaroid beside him, finally giving you the attention. “Ngh-.. you are such a good girl..” he said while bringing the camera back to his vision. “Smile for the camera baby..” and you shamelessly did. You smiled widely with his dick in your mouth. “Perfect..” he mumbled, seeing the pretty picture of you finally appear. He kept them aside and grabbed your head, thrusting in harshly. You choked and gagged at the sudden action. He pushed your head down till your nose hit his base, pulling your head back up after a few seconds, watching as drool slip from your mouth. You gave him your puppy eyes and a small pout.

“Sorry baby..” he giggled before guiding your head back on his dick. “You are just so fucking irresistible.” He said while dragging your mouth all over his length. His grip on your hair tightened as your throat spasmed around his thick length. He pulled your head back and you let out a loud gasp and coughed, finally getting the chance to breathe. He grabbed you by your chin, forcefully making you look up at him. You stared into his eyes with your doe ones. A soft yet hard slap landed on your cheek before jungkook kissed your forehead.

Jungkook pulled you up on your feet by your hair and was quick to throw you onto the bed. Your face fell flat on the soft mattress, your ass jiggled at the impact, and on full display for jungkook. He stood at the foot of the bed and grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him. A harsh spank landed on your ass, a signal for you to get into your position. you obliged, very well knowing what he wanted at that moment. You felt the bed dip on one side as jungkook reached over to grab his phone. You heard the record button sound and before you could comprehend, jungkook was spreading your one of your ass cheeks, the camera focusing on your dripping wet cunt. He groaned at the site of your cunt clenching and unclenching. “Mind spreading that beauty for me more,baby?” Your hands immediately reached behind, grabbing the fatty flesh in your grasp and spreading it open for jungkook to get a perfect view of your perfect pussy. “Thats right…” he groaned as he dragged his middle and ring finger up and down your glistening slit. You moaned at the sensation. “That shit turning you on baby? Wait till i give you this dick…fucckkk-“ he said as his fingers dipped into your soaking wet pussy. Soft squelchs were audible and you squeezed around his thick fingers. He curled his fingers into your gspot which made you gasp and moan out loud. He knew exactly where to touch you. He chuckled darkly at your sounds. He pulled his fingers out spreading your wetness over your pussy lips and hole. You felt something warm drip down from your hole and to your pussy, jungkooks spit. “Extra lube..!” He chuckled once again. You let out a loud whine, getting tired of his foreplay. “Mhmmm…i hear you sweetheart” he says while continuing to tease both of your holes, fingers threatening to dip into one of them. “Jungkookie….” You whine out again hoping this time he will give you his dick. “Alright alright…”. His tip pokes at your entrance. “Shits still tight.. gaah-“ he chokes at as he pushes into your sopping cunt. You moan loudly as he keeps pushing himself into you. Its been a while since you got pounded by this giant. “Please..please..please…fuckkkk” you kept babbling nonsenses as he bottomed out in you. A loud gasp left both of your mouths. Jungkook finding it hard to focus his camera on your pussy as the feeling of you wrapped around him takes over. He collects himself up before slowly moving in and out of you. The camera focusing on how your ass ripples every time you come in contact with his pelvis. His unoccupied hand on your lower back, guiding your hips back and worth. The pace starts off slow. Bunch of ‘fucks’ ‘oh yeahs’ and Moans were thrown around the room as your pussy spasmed around his length.

Jungkook leaned over again, placing the camera on the nightstand, balancing it on the lamp placed on table. In this new pov everything could be seen. Your perfect back arch and fucked face was on full display and most importantly the new angle showed how good he fucked you. His hips picked up pace. Hands now gripping your waist tightly. Your head was resting in your arms, eyes rolling back as he kept fucking into you. He grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled your head back,as he leaned forward. Your eyes and his meet, he kissed your forehead as his pace started increasing. You stared up at him as he went in and out of your pussy in an inhumane speed. Loud gasps and choked out moans were leaving your mouth. “Feel good baby yeah? You like it when i fuck you like this dont you? How many people have fucked you after me huh? No one. I know. Cus you are my cockslut. My fucking pussy. Only for mine to breed and wreck. Got that baby? Can your dumb little whore brain understand that?” He was telling nonsense at this point and you just nodded at his words. “Fuckkkkkk…..-“ you let out a loud moan. “Thats right… moan louder bitch. Im gonna make you cry on this cock, thats the only thing you’re fit for.” He says before pushing your head down with his hand. Tears and drool started staining your pillows as he got faster and his thrusts got harder. Jungkook himself was a moaning mess, as your pussy sucked him in and out he couldn’t contain in his sounds. Incoherent words left his mouth nonstop which just turned you on even more. His pace slowed down a bit, before grabbing you by the nape of your neck. His hand wrapped around your neck tight, as he made you face the camera. “Look into the camera baby.. yeah thats right.. show them how fucked up i got you… you just love bouncing on my dick dont you love?” your eyes were tears stained and there was drool all over your face. Bangs sticking to your sweaty forehead and eyes not being able to focus on anything else but just jungkooks dick. He kissed your forehead again and kept fucking you into the mattress. His phone was able to capture the way your face contorted every time he thrusted into you. Your mouth falls open as his other hand landed on your throbbing clit. You let out a choked out cry as he abused your bud. “J-jungkook…im gonna c-cum..,,” you drop your head. “Go on doll.. cum all over my dick.” His movements on your clit increased as he helped you chase your high. You felt yourself crumbling as you came over his dick. White liquid gushed out of your cunt as he continued fucking you. His pelvic region was stained with your arousal. Jungkook felt himself getting closer to his own high as he watched you come undone. “Hang in there baby…” he said while continuously rutting his hips. You felt his dick twitch inside of you. He hunched over your fucked out body. Hands landing on either side of your head. “Fuckkk…i love you so much-..” his head dropped and his hip movement stopped as he finally spilled his cum inside you. Ropes after ropes. You could feel jungkooks hot breath on your neck as well as his quite moans and whines. “Ngh..-“ he let out his final whine before collapsing on you. Gasps and breathing sounds echoed throughout the now quiet room. Jungkook picked himself up, reaching over for his phone before standing upright. He tapped your side and you immediately lifted your ass up for him even though you were extremely tired. He once again focused his camera on your cunt as he pulled out – a white gush of his and your arousal came out and dripped down. He landed a soft slap on your ass. “Good fucking girl.”

The next day, you were watching the kbs livestream of jungkooks arrival at music bank since it was his comeback season and he was scheduled to perform at music bank that day. You watched the livestream eagerly before you see a black van park and then steps out your boyfriend, in all his glory. But something seemed different. His phone was in his hand and there was something familiar on it. On closer inspection your eyes widen at the picture. The polaroid from the night before.

A/n : HOPE IT WAS UP TO PARRRR! :33333 lol anyways ily! Thank you for reading! And happy new year!!

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leviathans-watching · 9 months

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omg i love your work!! if posisble, can you do a part 2 to touching their wings and stuff with the dateables or maybe other characters? thank you and take care :D

touching their tails/horns/etc. pt 2

includes: diavolo, barbatos, simeon, mephisto, raphael x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .5k | rated t | m.list | pt 1

a/n: i took a lot of creative liberties with this one, either because their forms haven't been revealed or just because i wanted to so just assume most of this is not canon at all lol

please reblog and like <33

➳ diavolo laughs as you poke at the gilded ends of his wings, taking in the intricate design. “it’s real gold,” he says before you can ask, gesturing to the tips of his horns, “as are these. it’s a birth present to children of our family, laced with magic that let’s it grow and change along with is. it’s a symbol of our wealth, our status.” you reach up to touch his horns, and he leans into your touch, happy to let you explore as you wish. “sometimes i think they’re a bit much, and then i remember who i am,” he continues, and you chuckle, making him laugh again too.

➳ barbatos’ tail twitches as you run your hand along it, obviously surprised by the texture. “that feels good,” he says mildly, and you give him a grin, twisting the end of each forked part between your fingers gently. if it keeps you occupied he’s happy to let you play with his tail for as long as you want. only because of that, obviously. not because he can’t remember the last time, if ever, someone’s touched him like this. or because your touch is soothing something inside of him he hadn’t known needed soothed.

➳ mephisto bows his head for you, letting you feel over the nubs where his horns should have been. “they never grew in quite properly,” he explains, sighing as you scratch gently at his scalp around them, “which is why i don’t often reveal my demon form. it’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? of course, my parents offered to have false horns inset, and lord diavolo knows we had the money for it, but, well, that just sounded like a bother.” you press your fingers to hs head, eyes steady, and he’s glad to see you’re not thinking of him any differently.

➳ raphael unfurls his wings, and you catch your breath. he’s often been told that his wings are beautiful, richly colored like a peacock’s, and your reaction goes on to support that opinion. “you can touch, if you’d like,” he offers, and you don’t hesitate, burying your fingers in the downy feathers near where they connect to his back. his head falls back, and a quiet peace goes over the two of you as you stroke your way from base to wing tip, then back, soothing actions putting him on the verge of sleep.

➳ simeon wakes up to the feel of your touch on his wing, soft and hesitant. sometime during the night, he’d transformed into his angel form, wings splayed out and over the bed, almost covering the whole thing in their enormity. they certainly cover you, like a warm, live, down blanket. he twitches instinctively, and you pull your hands back. “no, no,” he says sleepily, “you can keep going. it feels good when you touch me.” he sees you smile and smiles too, even though he’s already being lured back into sleep by your soft strokes across the top of his wing, where the feathers are smooth and packed together.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

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hwajin · 5 days

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#! — [ never enough ] hwang hyunjin

— fem!chubby!reader // nsfw // not per se a bathtub hyunjin fic but this is very wet and messy and carnal and there's hints of cannibalism if you squint and it's all very romantic and horny and ygm (also not proofread at all <3)

"I love you."

Against heavy breathing and the repetitive drops of rain against grey aspahlt and wettened flowers by the windowsill Hyunjin's voice sounded quiet and undisturbing, taking form in the room between you, hushed, hastened words against your lips. You mewled in reponse - couldn't do much more, for Hyunjin's mouth took liberties with yours again, swallowing you whole, not giving you as much a second to recompose. Not that you needed one - you let him drown you in himself, gave your body up to him.

And your body, was, almost, his - it seemed that way, at least, for outsiders would surely be unable to tell the two apart, tangled in each other so tightly you were only limbs on limbs, melted into one, morphed into the same. Hyunjin's hands groped on your figure, squeezing your every bit closer to himself, his palms heavy and firm on your curves, the full dip in your waist and the plum in your hips, the whole mounds of your breasts. His hands were everywhere, at once, hungry, always hungry for more. He pulled you closer, pulled you further into him by your bottom, hands full of flesh before he squeezed at it, making you whine out in unison, your breath hitched in your throat.

"Love... love your body."

The words were spoken against your neck, their volume swallowed by your skin, the kisses Hyunjin planted onto your sensitivity right after. Deep kisses, sore kisses - he bit without knowing he was biting you, always needing you closer, always something so carnal within him when your body was in close proximity. When your body was as near to his own as it was now - your arms caging him in, sweat-laced palms upon his back, by the small of his neck, playing with his outgrown, messy hair, on the skin of his shoulders, firm and flexed. He saw only you, smelled only you, a view and scent so rich and deep only aquired after hours upon hours of desire, of loving the other with a vigour bordering on animalism. And he loved it. Hyunjin loved the way you tasted when he kissed and nibbled on your neck, salty and musky and entirely you, loved the way your breath never seemed to slow in the depths of your lungs, your chest, which he journeyed down to, always rising and falling, in anticipation, in exhaustion, in contentment. He loved, after looking up at you from beneath his lashes, eyes glassy and full of adoration, full of you, the way your hair fell a mess, how your pupils blew out in pleasure, how you bit your swollen lip with every kiss and bite Hyunjin planted onto your skin. Your sensitive nipples, perked up and hard, wet from his tongues' ministrations, eliciting a whine when Hyunjin blowed on them, softly. He loved the way your body reacted to him - sounds escaping your pretty lips, your fingers finding his hair, squeezing at the tiniest bit of pleasure, your muscles spamsing where he touched. He could spend hours within you, and never grow tired.

"So pretty."

And with every of his word, you grew a puddle in his hands. Hands which never ceased to dote on you, hands which gave an oath to praise, hands which promised to never stop showing love, showing his hearts' desires. His fingers dipped into your body, so deep into the full flesh of your thighs as if it was feathered pillows, as if there was no end to the depth at all. His mouth swallowed you as it went, down from your chest to the plum of your stomach, biting there, too, softly, teeth grazing your skin in a matter so delicate you couldn't help but fall further victim to Hyunjin's antics. Warm kisses placed atop forming bruises right after, and your lover pulled your body ever closer to his own, arms wrapped around your legs in hints of thirsty posession. You were almost painfully close to him, his face hovering over the heat of your sex so very near that the distance was barely measurable in inches, yet it was never enough him, never enough for you. No lack of distance would ever be lack enough, no amount of closeness would ever be the right one - both of you would always hunger for more, thirst to drown further in the depths of the other.

Your thighs had never had the chance to heal the love bites Hyunjin had left there days upon days ago before he planted new ones onto them already, though you couldn't complain. You liked it; you enjoyed seeing the faint, old marks, so different in color to the new, blooming ones. Purple and red and blue, you enjoyed seeing Hyunjin's love painted all across your body as though flowers, soft petals of the softest plants whenever you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror each morning. You enjoyed, too, how much he enjoyed it - you shivered under his tantalising gaze whenever he eyed his artwork the next day, flames burning up within his eyes and igniting your body within.

You mewled out, a whine cutting through the dimmed room as Hyunjin's mouth found itself on your sex, suddenly, without as much a warning. You were sensitive, and you tasted like him - it hadn't been two minutes since his release had filled you up, had mixed with your own. You sighed out, and Hyunjin moaned into your heat - it was erotic, purely, the way you smelled and tasted and looked, the way your combined cum lingered on his tongue. Sweet, salty, so carnally you, so carnally him. It was the base in everything the both of you were - and he lapped it up, let his tongue graze upon your slit, flat and heavy; though didn't dare to swallow. He looked up at you - lost in bliss, eyes closed, hands searching for his own. He got up, mouth full of you and him, body so close to your own as he moved to hover over your figure. Your eyes prowled open, a sultry look within, half-hooded, glassy. Your breast, full and heavy, spilled out your body as Hyunjin's hand found home on your face, fingers grazing your jaw, softly, his thumb playing with your lower lip, bitten, swollen, scarlet red. Your face was fleshly beneath his touch, your body pressed against his own the same, spilling all around him, dipping and curving into waves deeper than he'd thought he'd ever fall - he would never get enough of you.

It didn't require Hyunjin words - though he was incapable of them, anyways - nor much movement, altogether for you to understand, for you to obey. His hand, sweat-laced and warm, only had to snuck around your chin, squeezing at your jaw, barely any pressure - and your mouth slacked open, tongue lapping out, ready for aything Hyunjin would give you. Looking at him with eyes hungry, curious, chest heaving in agitation underneath his hold - and he let the perly mixture trickle down, past his lips, letting the liquid curve over the plush of his mouth and down into yours. Drop after the drop, and when the sweetness met with the taste buds of your tongue, red and ready, you couldn't contain the moan which left the depths of your throat. It wasn't the taste alone, a mixture of you and Hyunjin, everything you were - it was the way he looked at you. Hand yet on your jaw, never forceful, always soft but with a fervor so great it made you shiver in his hold. His eyes those of a siren but blown out, pupils wide, scared to miss a single movement of yours. He was barely blinking, held you captive in his gaze. His hair was wet, raven around his face, falling in messes into his eyes, though it didn't bother him. And you arched your back into everything that was him, couldn't not, when he gave you everything he was. When his arms and hands, wrapped and snuck around you, longed to hold you against him forever, when his eyes, dark and deep and salvating waters, promised you to never let you go. When his body, pressed against your own, hungered for your flesh, when his heart, beating against your own in its' confines, beat only for you. When his lips, messy and perly and white and scarlet red, found your own ones now, as messy as his, as perly and white and scarlet red, as sweet and salty and tasting of you and him, when he kissed you with a fire so bright it blinded everything that wasn't him.

You arched your back into him, wanting to be closer, needing to be nearer. You felt his hands ravel all across your body, roaming, searching, pulling and groping - never enough. His fingers found the warmth of your sex, wet as ever and hot, fluttering and hungry, playing upon your clit in movements so messy, so careless they ought to be useless, though it never was with him. Your body was a synergy to his, burning when he ignited it, and your thighs spasmed around his waist, albeit his messy fingers, his movements uncontrolled. It was his mouth which captivated you, his wet and sloppy kisses which drove you further to the edge, so close you dared to fall, if Hyunjin gave you the last push - and then he bit your lower lip, sighed out in unfettered pleasure, in crystallined satisfation, pulled you closer with a strong arm, breathed your name against your lips and increased the speed of his fingers against your heat - and you were a victim to the fall he set you off to. You fell without the ground beneath you, fell into waters that were him, and he let you. Kissed you feverishly, kissed you deeply, bruised you further.

And none of you would ever get enough of it.

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non-stop-imagines · 2 months

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Wedding Night

From this request 🤍

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Black Fem!Reader

Summary: In which it's your's and Charles' wedding night.

Word Count: ~4.9k words

Warning: Smut (p in v; the fluffiest smut I've ever written and I'm a big ol' softy), fingering, oral (fem receiving), accidental orgasm denial, aftercare, reader first time, Charles is very sweet and caring, words virgin/virginity NOT used but obviously implied, Wife used a quite a bit, online translator French, Minors DNI!!! 18+

A/N: Haha! See told you all I could do it! You guys have been so supportive and caring I literally have absolutely no idea how to thank you. I'm just glad I can finally get this out and that reading it back didn't make me cringe as much as I though it would. Hopefully like I said in the past, this sparks my motivation, but for now I'm just gonna do this one step at a time. Thank you to the anon who requested this. Thank you everyone for your patience and kindness. Hope you all enjoy! Love you all! 💖💛💖💛

Translations: ma femme=my wife; d'accord=okay; Pour votre mari=for your husband;Tu es tellement serrée, ma chère=you're so tight, my dear;Je t'aime tant, ma femme=I love you so much, my wife;Ma belle, très belle femme=my beautiful, beautiful wife

Masterlist

______♥______

You were a vision to Charles as you stood in the entry to the en suite bathroom in the Honeymoon suite you two were staying in for the night before whisking away to Italy for your honeymoon. You were only in a simple white, lacy lingerie set gifted to you by your best friend who had the joy of being your maid of honor. As she gifted it, she teased you lightly about your wedding night being your first time and that she "Doesn't expect it to last the night with how long you made Charles wait."

"Cherie, you look...wow." Charles, already just in his underwear, admired you from where he stood across the room. When you two first got to the room you were quick to start the process of stripping down while making out, but your brain was swirling with nerves you decided it was best for you to take leave to the bathroom to finish stripping and adjusting the set you had on, so in that time Charles took the liberty of stripping down to his underwear as well. As he approached you, he eyes danced rapidly over your body, grinning at how innocent and nervous your widened brown eyes made your face look, how the lace gracing your brown skin made you look even more delicate than usual. You were an angel. His angel. His wife.

"You really like it?" You were simultaneously closed and open to him with your feet twisting inward and your posture curling in on itself but your arms wrapped behind your back. Charles steadily made his way towards you and gently brought your arms to wrap around his torso so he could bring his hands to your jaw to lift your head up to meet his lips for a short kiss.

"Yes. Of course. You look beautiful, ma femme." He moved his hands to your shoulder to pull you in even closer and began peppering kisses along your jaw, leading down your neck so he could leave love bites at the base of your neck where it leads to your shoulder and collarbone. He uses his tongue to soothe each bite he leaves, a feeling that you've loved from the beginning and that has been the high point of many make out sessions through 2 and a half years you and Charles dated. He adjusted your arms, bringing them up to wrap around his neck so he's able to bring his hands to your waist to pull you in closer with each heavenly sounding mewl you let out. He begins to walk you backwards to the bed, switching to the other side of your neck to continue his love bite assault. The feeling of the bed on the back of your legs was your only indication that you two had made it to your destination, and with out breaking the contact his lips had on your skin, he lowered you onto the white sheets of the hotel sheets, the heavy comforter tossed out of the way, and only then did he back stop his relentless attack on your neck and to hover over you, eyes taking a minute to admire all of your features.

"You're my husband." Your smile up at him was full of pure joy, attracting Charles to lower down to give you another deep kiss. The realization made you warm and fuzzy, and allowed your nerves to subside briefly.

"And you're my beautiful wife. And I finally get to make my wife feel so good." He seemed to moan out the second sentence, contining to kiss along your collarbone and making his way down the valley between your breasts. "Is this okay?" You nod to him, meeting his gaze as he waited at your chest. "I need you to speak, Cherie."

"Oh, um, yes. That-that's fine." You hold intense eye contact with your husband as he pushes down one of the cups of your bra, freeing your boob and sensually kissing around your nipple before taking the nub in his mouth, tongue swirling around it. It took a moment for the feeling to register, you brain initially focusing on how exposed you were, how you've never been this exposed to another person before, but once his tongue began to work around your nipple, your head was thrown back into the bed as you pushed your chest up into Charles mouth, quiet, airy moans escaping your lips.

"Feels good?" The smile Charles' shines up at you when you turn your attention back to him has you melting, or at least that's what you convinced yourself as you feel warmth and moisture begin to develop between your legs.

"Mhmm, so good." You push your chest back up to him and the vibration that comes with his chuckle as he begins to suck at your chest again has you moaning a bit louder. This action continues a bit longer, with him switching to your other breast to give it equal attention but soon his lips leave your chest continue down yours stomach.

Anytime Charles wasn't focusing on an action, his eyes were trained on yours, trying to gauge how you're feeling and in general getting lost in the haze of your chocolate eyes. So, as he kissed down your torso, his blue eyes never left your face, and yet his kisses were placed perfectly. His lips lingered for a moment at the top of your pelvis, pressing a long kiss at the hem of your panties before continuing down, skipping over your pussy and reconnecting his lips to your inner thigh.

"I'm going to move these over, amor. Okay?" Charles' voice was just above a whisper as his piercing eyes waited for a response. Truthfully he was dying to taste you. If he wasn't waiting for your approval he would've already been tongue deep in you, the growing wet spot from your arousal on your underwear not making it any easier for him. But he was patient, pressing intermittent kisses to your upper inner thigh as he waited.

"O-okay..." Your hands immediately went to grip the pure white bedsheets beneath you, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering up a frenzy. Your first instinct to bury your head in the sheets beneath you as well, just wanting to get everything over with, but against your better judgement, you kept your eyes on Charles, lips slightly parted as you watched him smile brightly up at you before focusing his attention on your covered pussy again. He darted his tongue out to lightly lick his lips as he took one finger and hooked it onto the damp white fabric, moving it to the side to finally expose you to him, pussy glistening from your juices. The sight was nearly hypnotic to him, eyes tracing along your folds, enticing him to at least reach out a touch you...

"Wait! Charles?" You called to him panicked, making him stop in his tracks and focus his attention back on your, now visibly worried, face.

"Oui, mon amour?" Charles props himself up onto his elbow a bit more so you weren't having to look down between your legs to speak to him.

"What, um, what are you gonna do?" Your view of Charles was borderline sinful, his pupils dilated, lips glistening and swollen from their relentless attack down your body, hair askew, and all of the love and adoration he had for you shining through his gaze up at you. You loved this man so much.

"I just wanted to taste you, ma cherie. But if you don't want me to..." You could tell by the way Charles shifted his body, he was about to move back up your body, but you stop him, literally putting your hand out to stop him.

"No, I just was wondering. Please, Charlie...keep going." Yout hand gravitates to his hair, lightly pushing some of it back. You could have photographed and framed the smile Charles gave you before he rehooked his arms around your thighs, pulling you ever so slightly closer to him, and dove in. He had to fight hard to keep himself from devouring you like a starved man, but he slowed himself down, allowing his tongue to slowly drag through your labia, circle around your clit and end in a light suck on the nub.

Charles wished his brain could record and store the moans and whimpers you let out upon initial contact. Your hips immediately started to buck toward the sensation of his tongue, surprised, high pitched moans being pushed from your diaphragm. One of your hands that initially had a death grip on the sheets had let go and flown straight to his hair, pushing him into your cunt even more. He was amused at your sudden eagerness, humming out a chuckle that sent a vibration through you pussy and caused a shocked squeal to be pulled from you.

"It's good?" Charles disconnects his mouth from you, using a hand to continue to rub your clit. You didn't think the image of him between your legs could get even more pornographic, but seeing his wide blue eyes and bright, satisfied smile with the welcome addition of your juices coating his lips and chin was a different level. Even still, you had no idea how much Charles was basking in this moment, finally being able to taste you, hear your moans and screams. He was finally able to satisfy you and he wanted to make sure you enjoyed it.

"Yes...fu- so good. So good. Please keep going, baby." Charles didn't hesitate to go back to tasting you, putting extra focus on your clit, letting the long languid licks up your entire entrance be small breaks in the intense feeling resulting from his devoted attention to the body part that had your toes curling and your thighs threatening to close in on your husband.

"Can I use my fingers on you?" The question was abrupt, and while you were slightly aware of the multitude of ways to satisfy yourself, fingers wasn't one you ever thought to try. Charles saw the confusion in your face and lifted back on to his elbows but still allowed his fingers to test your entrance. "I'll go slow. One at a time. And you tell me if your don't like it or want me to stop, bon?" His hand continued to move, the gentleness of his words and the care in his eyes were enough to quell your nerves again for you to nonverbally answer him. "Words, amor. Speak to me."

"Oh, yeah. Um, yes, that's fine." You giggle nervously, and smile with Charles before he goes back down to place gentle kisses on your inner upper thigh, closer to your pussy but still allowing him to see your face as he pushes in his middle finger. Your eyes initially widened at the feeling, the small amount of stretch that comes with his finger being pressed inside you, but the pleasure that sets in and when he begins to slowly pump it in and out had your rolling your head and eyes back letting out a strangled whine.

"That's it, mon amor. Make your pretty noises for me. Pour votre mari." Charles goes back to sucking on your clit, incorporating the feeling that already had you seeing spots before he began stretching you out with his fingers. You didn't know what you expected from Charles in this moment, but it wasn't this. He was soft, dominant, patient, with the slightest bit of frantic feralness that show how bad he wanted this. To finally get to be with you in the most intimate way, and as his wife no less. This was an absolute dream to him, and you could tell from his performance.

"Oh, oh Charles..." This initially comes out as a silky moan, ringing like a silver bell in Charles' ears, but it slowly got more frantic and panicked as your hips began to buck into Charles' face like they had a mind of their own. It was like all of your senses were heightened, a sharp pleasureable feeling pushing against a proverbial dam that was starting to burst open. "Charles, Charles. Wait! Wait!" Charles heads your warning, immediately stopping and removing his fingers and mouth from you, pushing himself up from the bed so he was still kneeling between your legs. Your hips continued to buck uncontrollably, eyes squeezing shut and hands gripping the sheets, nails threatening to tear through them, fighting what could only be an orgasm you weren't prepared for.

"Are you alright, cherie?" Charles crawls his way back up the bed, kissing and nipping at your neck again. He smelled like you, and while knowing that was odd to say the least, you couldn't deny that it was freaking sexy.

"Yeah. Um, I just-what was-" Charles had crawled up to lay at your side pulling you into him by your waist, caressing your side as his thigh got slightly to close to your excessively sensitive pussy.

"I think you were about to cum, mon amor. Why didn't you let yourself?" He pushed some of your hair that had stuck to your sweating face back behind your ear, smiling at the fucked out, doe eyed face you made, brown skin hiding a slight blush from the general over heating of your body.

"I've never- when ever I did try-you know, um, grinding on my pillow or whatever- I felt so silly cause I didn't know what I was doing so I stopped before anything got too...intense." You had since squeezed your thighs shut, still slightly sensitive from your accidentally denied orgasm, but still wet and aroused, mind making note of the feeling of his bulge against the front of your thigh and briefly flashing to the thought of him inside you, what it would feel like.

"You shouldn't have felt silly, mon amor. I'm just glad you feel you can tell me about it..." He tilts your head up so he could kiss your nose then allowed himself to get lost in your eyes as he took a second to think. "I didn't want you to cum then anyway." You couldn't help but be confused by his confession.

"Well then how..." You realized the answer to your own admittedly stupid question quickly, earning you another kiss on the nose and then one on the forehead.

"You're very cute, you know that?" He lifts your chin up further so he's able to go back to kissing you, first a simple singular kiss, then it became slow and sensual, like you were his favorite flavor of ice cream. Your brain always got clouded whenever he initiated deep makout sessions like this, but this was amplified 10-fold. You don't know when his lips began to trail down your abdomen, but all of a sudden he was back at your the hem of your lacy lingerie underwear, hooking his fingers in them prepared to pull down. "I'm gonna take these off, okay?"

"Okay..." Your voice was just over a whisper, just loud enough for Charles to make out your word allowing him to remove your underwear, the cool hotel room air hitting your glistening pussy, and somehow making you wetter. Charles pushes himself off the bed with his knees to remove his own undergarment, and you propped up on your elbows, gnawing at your bottom lip as you watched. You've seen very few penises in your life, usually on accident and you would quickly avert your eyes, but Charles' had your full attention. It was...pretty? There wasn't much of a difference in color since he was already a bit paler him self, and the tip was about the color of his lips, a muted light pink, but with a ting of red. The tip was slightly shiny and your eyes were focusing enough to notice a bead of a thick liquid begin to slide down his cock head as he finished stepping out of his boxers. Your eyes followed the bounce of his dick as he moved, the underlying logistical question slowly making its way into your brain.

"You look worried, ma cherie. Are you okay? Do you want to stop?" He began to crawl he way back up your body, hands anchoring themselves on the bed right above your shoulders, eyes doing nothing but raking over your face again and again, being extra vigilant in looking for any sign of hesitation or just generally wanting to stop.

"No, no. I definitely do NOT want to stop. I'm just a little...scared. I don't want it to hurt." The face you were making as you voiced your concerns, eyebrows scrunched and lips a bit poutier than their normal fullness, gave Charles no choice but to give you light kisses in both places. Despite your worries, your core betrayed you, getting that much wetter as you thought about the act, especially with Charles dick so close to it.

"And it shouldn't hurt. Maybe at first a little, definitely never a lot or for a long time. Overall, it should feel good." He leans down to kiss you, lips savoring yours, but he could sense your hesitation. "How about...colors?" An immediate look of confusion graced your features, making Charles explain further. "Like, you tell me 'Red' to stop and... 'Pink' to wait a moment. It's a little more familiar, less serious than saying the actual words but still has the same effect. Is that okay with you?" You eyebrows unknotted and your eyes averted the intense, loving gaze of your husband as you quietly nodded to the suggestion.

"Yeah, that's fine." You squeaked out as you remembered the earlier instruction you received about using your words. Charles leans down to press another kiss to your lips, then retracts to line himself up with you, running his dick along your soaking wet folds because even through your worry, you could help but be aroused still. The further you got into your relationship with Charles, the more you thought about this feeling, bodies entwined, completely connected in the most intimate way. You still had a knot in your stomach though, fear of the unknown nagging at the back of your mind.

"I'm going to push in, okay." He made sure he was lined up before looking at your face, this time allowing your silent nod to suffice. He brought his head down so his forehead could touch yours and slowly began to push his dick inside of you, both of you watching intently, but once he started his eyes immediately shot back up to your face, you still watching.

First came a snap of pain as you let out a long, agonizing sobbing whine, then the slow increase of pressure, the combination of the 2 feelings having you yelling out "Pink!" before you could even think twice about it. As Charles promised before, his hips paused immediately when he heard the color, lifting his forehead from yours so he could get a good look at you.

"Okay, okay. I'll wait. Let me know when you want me to move again..." Charles was already out of breath just from the restraint he exhibited. You were so warm, so tight around the parts of him that were already inside of you. The feeling was everything he ever dreamed of and he wanted so much more, but his main focus was you. He wanted to do everything in his power to make tonight the best night of your life, and he'll be damned if he does anything to ruin it.

As the pain very quickly subsided, you still had the pressure to adjust to, the surprisingly tantalizing pressure. After that your brain registered the feeling of Charles dick grazing your walls, the points of pleasure that have never been stimulated until this moment, and the points further in that were screaming for there own taste. "Okay, y-you can move." Charles hesitates, scanning your face for doubt he is unable to find, then continues to press his hips forward. Your sobbing whine continues, not because of pain, but because the pleasure you were experiencing from being stretched out by Charles cock, from the delicious pressure on you felt between your hips, feeling all of the intenseness of having sex for the first time, making love to your husband, had your mind going a million miles an hour.

"Are you okay?" Charles had completely bottomed out at this point, adjusting how your legs wrapped around his waist as you squirmed into the feeling, the pressure still something to get used to. Your whine had shifted into a quiet satisfied moan, the sound like music to his ears as he waited for your to say something.

"Charlie, fuck me. Please." Charles was shocked to say the least at your use of vocabulary, but the high-pitched whisper of your voice so beautifully contrasted the nature of your words. And, of course, he had to listen to his wife. So, he slowly began to pull out of you, but was not quite all the way out before he fucked back into you, his own breathy groans making beautiful music with your noises.

"Tu es tellement serrée, ma chère." The default French words strained from his mouth as your brain continued to familiarize itself with the feeling. "How are you feeling, mon amor? Tell me how I make you feel..." You brain recognized the small speed increase of Charles hips, but you didn't care. In fact, you welcomed it.

"It feels so good, baby. So good..." Those last two words echoed from your lips in an increasingly whiny tone, your manicured nails clawing into Charles back, a hiss leaving his mouth as you layed red scratches along his back.

"You feel so good around me, cherie. So tight." Charles moved his hips a bit faster, working against the pleasant resistance, your long, languid, high pitched whines motivating the movement of his hips. He never minded waiting for you, but he has also thought about this moment since the first time he laid eyes on you, and this surpassed anything he could've imagined.

You felt the pressure building again, the frightening over sensitivity as his dick dragged deliciously in and out you and his hips grazed lightly over your swollen clit, causing you to claw over his back even more. This time Charles' words echoed through your brain, telling you to relax, to let it happen. So you let your body relax and feel everything it was feeling, and your brain was turning to mush.

Charles knew you were close. Your walls were beginning to flutter around him, your moans were loud and unabashed, increasingly high-pitched and whiny. You had begun to arch your body into him, hips working fervently to meet each snap of his own. The moment was the most beautiful mixture of you and Charles wanting to please each other, make each other feel the most intense amount of pleasure one could conceivably feel, and it came to its hilt when your cunt began to spasm at an increased uneven rate, your body reflexively clinging tight to Charles as you came for the first time, him closely following suit and emptying himself inside of you, burying his face into your neck as best as he could with yours jammed in the crook of his neck, the vibration of your moans being the only indication of the stifled sound.

Charles tried with all of his power to stay propped up above you, but when he knew he couldn't do it anymore, he did his best to make his fall into hugging your still trembling frame as smooth as possible. He cooed praises into your ear and gently caressed your back as you rode out your orgasm (You did so good for me; Thank you for trusting me; Je t'aime tant, ma femme), and stayed there until your trembling and quiet whines subsided before getting up to head to the bathroom, very quickly cleaning himself up before dampening a small towel with warm water. He then carefully climbed back into bed, gently guiding your body so you sat between his legs, you limp thighs parted enough for him to, for the moment, just place the warm towel over your sore pussy. You protested weakly, body still highly sensitive to his touch, but Charles waited patiently until you allowed him to continue, gently wiping any stickiness from your cunt and inner thighs stopping anytime your hands jolted for his wrist and waiting until the grip loosened. He pressed kisses to your now messed up hair and continued to whisper his devotion to you as he clean you up, also choosing to gently massage your legs and hips while he had you in this position. Once he was able to do this without interruption, he finished cleaning and massaging areas you previously wouldn't let him near and then got back up to toss away the towel and grab one of the many large nightshirts he knew you packed to sleep in, and gently guided you to sit up long enough to pull the shirt over your head and arms before allowing you lay back down, pulling the heavy comforter that got pushed to the side earlier in the night over your tired body. He finished straightenting up some of the room, tossing worn clothes and the used towel in a corner to later be seperated out and washed when you two made it to the vacation home in Italy, pulling on a pair of pajama pants and going on a hunt for a bottle of water somewhere in the large hotel suite. When he got back to the bedroom, two found bottles of water in hand, he was met by the heavnly sight of you, looking at him with wide yet tired eyes, face illuminated by the subtle glow of the dimmed bathroom light, a small grin on your lips silently pleading for him to come to bed. He slowly approached you, wanting to burn the image into his brain for him to be able to go back to in years to follow, taking his time closing the bathroom door so only a sliver of light was left, then handing you the bottle he opened as he walked over for you to take a drink of as he climbed into bed. You tried to get away with only a sip, but he wouldn't lay down until at least half of the bottle was gone.

"After what we just did, you need to hydrate, mon amor." You chuckled and watched him as he downed a majority of his bottle before placing it on the nightstand beside him then turning over to pull you into his chest. He smelled like sex (now that you understood the phrase) and what was left of his sweet, woodsy cologne, and you wished you could bottle it up and save it forever. The room was silent, which felt weird compared to the the animalistic noises that filled it moments before, leaving room for you to think, and sprial into voicing a conclusion that has haunted you since you and Charles began dating.

"I'm sorry." You were quiet, you honestly hoped that Charles didn't hear you, but that hope was slashed when you felt his neck move to tip his head to look at you.

"What are you saying sorry for?" His voice was gentle, but very obviously confused, so you just squeeze your eyes shut and continue.

"For-uhm-making you wait so long..." You had opened you eyes long before your confession, but you did everything you could to avoid eye contact. If there was one thing that made you feel insecure in your relationship, by no one else's fault but your own (and maybe the snide remark from people here and there), it was whether or not you held onto your morals too tight. Whether or not Charles resented you for not trusting him with something this intimate sooner.

"Don't say sorry. There is no reason for sorry. I knew I was going to marry you the moment I met you, so what would it have hurt me to wait?" He let out a polite laugh and kissed your forehead. "Don't ever be sorry for the boundaries you set, d'accord? I just want you to feel safe." Another kiss was pressed onto your head as silence settled over you two again. That is until it was Charles' turn to voice his own nagging concern. "I just hope that it was good for you. That's all I want."

"Charlie, it was better than I could have ever imagined." It was your turn to kiss away his worry, using a hand on his cheek to move his face down for a peck on the lips.

"You can tell the truth. I can take it." He dramatically falls back onto his pillow and turns his head away, failing at stopping the chuckle that ensues. You just climb further on top of him, giggling as well until you both just settled on each other's eyes, nothing else consuming your minds than wanting to crash your lips together, kissing each other as deep as you could until you had to come up for air.

"I'm so happy I got to marry the love of my life." You cuddled back into his chest and begin to let the darkness and the tiredness of your body lull you to sleep.

"I'm happy I got to make the love of my life my wife. Ma belle, très belle femme." One last nuzzle of your head into his chest was all the comfort and reassurance he needed to drift off to sleep himself, the anticipation of the real honeymoon filling both of your dreams.

#formula 1 #black reader #f1 imagines #formula 1 x black!reader #f1 x black!reader #request #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x black!reader #charles leclerc x black reader #charles leclerc #formula one x reader #f1 smut #f1 imagine

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punkshort · 4 months

Text

something only you can give

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You, Joel and Sarah head to NYC for a long weekend and celebrate New Years Eve together.

Warnings: no outbreak, modern day but Joel is 40, language, fluff, flirting, explicit smut (18+MDNI), (somewhat - reader is on BC) unprotected piv sex, soft!joel, slight jealousy/possessiveness, a little cheesy because this is still a Hallmark-type story

WC: 8.2K

A/N: I had so many requests for more from this couple, and the original story was so successful, so I thought up a little NYE story. Also I absolutely needed to use this pic for something because it's haunting my dreams. Hope you enjoy ✨

Series Masterlist

Wednesday

"Oh my god! Look, Dad! You can see the Statue of Liberty!" Sarah squealed, yanking on Joel's shoulder to make him look out of the tiny, oval window of the airplane. Joel smiled as he leaned over to peer out.

"Looks cold out there, hope you're ready," he told her, looking down at the darkened, snow covered streets.

"It gets cold in Texas, too," Sarah scoffed.

"Not like this," Joel told her, sitting back in his seat.

His hand dipped over the armrest to find yours, your fingers lacing together, making you smile and pull out your earbuds.

"Hey," he said softly, his dark brown eyes sparkling with excitement. You grinned and wondered if this man would ever not give you butterflies. You hoped not.

"What do you wanna do tonight?" you asked him, running your thumb over his dry knuckles. He shrugged.

"Let's just check into the hotel and get some room service or somethin'," he said. "You got a big day tomorrow, you need your sleep."

He wasn't wrong. Your trip had multiple purposes. Tomorrow, you had to go back into your office to collect some computer equipment in order to work from home, back in Austin. Then on Friday, you planned to rent a U-Haul and load up all your belongings from Melanie's apartment. You had hoped to time it so that you could go there while she was at work, but the unfortunate part was she worked in the same office as you. So, you had to just hope all your meetings tomorrow would keep you busy enough that you didn't run into her at all while you were there.

And since this trip was technically your Christmas gift to Joel and Sarah, you planned on exploring the city together the rest of the time. Sarah already had a list of things she was desperate to see while you were there, and you planned on checking off as many as you could.

"I'm so excited to stay in a hotel!" Sarah said after overhearing you and Joel. "I only got to stay in one once, when I was super little. I barely even remember."

"I remember plenty," Joel said, rolling his eyes. "You wouldn't fall asleep til almost two in the morning. Drove me nuts."

Before you knew it, the pilot was announcing the plane's descent into JFK. By the time you filed off the plane and collected your luggage (and 45 minutes spent at the lost luggage counter claiming the suitcase you checked the week before when you decided to skip your flight) you were all exhausted. You yawned as you leaned up against the check in counter at the hotel, your arm around Sarah's shoulders as she rested her head against you, waiting for the receptionist to make your keys. You took one from Joel's outstretched hand as you filed into the elevator, your luggage in tow.

"What's our room numbers?" Sarah asked sleepily. You looked down at the card in your hand as you stepped off the elevator.

"305 and 306, they're right next to each other. I'll knock in the morning before I head out and say bye," you told her, heading down the long carpeted hall with a dizzying pattern. Sarah frowned.

"I don't get the extra room?"

"No, you're with me," Joel said, swiping the card and pushing the door open.

"But Dad!" Sarah whined. Joel sighed and held the door, waiting for her to come in the room. He raised his eyebrows at her when she didn't move.

"Let's get a move on, I'm beat," he urged, but she just made a face and crossed her arms.

"Why would you two sleep apart? That doesn't make any sense," Sarah countered, and you felt the tips of your ears burn as you stood in front of the other door, the key hovering over the lock, waiting to bid them good night.

"You're too young to be on your own," Joel began to explain, but she shook her head defiantly.

"I'm sixteen, Dad. Please? Pretty please? I'll be right next door, it'll be fine!"

Joel sighed again and rubbed the palm of his hand over his face.

"You're lucky I'm too tired to be arguin' with you," he muttered, stepping back out into the hall to look at you. "You okay with that?"

"Y-yeah, of course," you stammered, handing Sarah your hotel key, which she took excitedly with a triumphant smile spread wide across her face. "It is your Christmas gift, after all."

"You wanna order somethin' to eat with us at least?" Joel asked her as you walked past him into the room.

"I'm not that hungry," she said, opening the door. "Let's just go for a big breakfast tomorrow." And with that, she disappeared inside her room.

"Sorry," Joel told you as he set his bag down on the spare queen bed.

"Oh, I think I'll get over it," you teased with a wink. You pulled back the covers and collapsed on your back with a groan, closing your tired eyes.

Joel's lips brushed gently over yours, and a slow smile spread across your face. Without opening your eyes, you lifted your arms to wrap loosely around his neck, pulling him down to you. Even though you felt like you could sleep for a year, you couldn't get enough of him.

"You hungry?" you asked him when he finally pulled back.

"Not for food," he said with a smirk, nipping at your jaw, and you felt your cheeks flare with heat.

You twirled your fingers around his curls and hummed against his mouth, trying to stifle a yawn, but Joel noticed.

"You got a big day tomorrow," he reminded you again, kissing the tip of your nose, and you nodded.

"I know, but -"

"It's okay, baby. Go get ready for bed. We're here all weekend," he said, giving you a quick kiss before helping you up.

You headed to the bathroom begrudgingly. You knew he was right, but it was so hard to not take advantage of every single private moment you possibly could. You wouldn't stay the night at Joel's house if Sarah was there. He claimed she wouldn't mind, but it just didn't feel right. However, you hoped to open up more possibilities for you both when you got back to Texas and begin checking out all the apartments your sister, Cassie, very eagerly found for you.

Thursday

You adjusted your skirt as your train came to your usual stop. It felt like a lifetime ago, but it was really just a month since you last made this commute, and you came to realize you absolutely did not miss it. The rude people shoving past, the weird smells of the subway station, and the delightful random power outages that made you late for work left little to be desired. You kept telling yourself this was the last time you would have to make this trip as you trudged up the steps and onto the bustling street. You wrapped your scarf tighter around your face as the blistering wind took your breath away. By the time you made it the four blocks to your office, your eyes were watering from the cold and wind. You took a moment to dab at the corners of your eyes before heading into the lobby and to the elevators.

You made a beeline for your cubical, trying to keep your head down and avoid getting caught in any conversations that would just end with the other person being nosy. You had no doubt rumors were swirling around the office when those pictures of Will and Melanie appeared on Instagram. Combined with the fact that you were conveniently out of town for the month made for the juiciest office gossip.

Opening up your Outlook, you confirmed the first meeting you had was with Brian in IT in less than ten minutes. You had just enough time to use the bathroom and grab some coffee before he met you at your desk with all your required equipment. He spent the next hour going over in painstaking detail how to set up all of the devices while you furiously took notes. Fortunately, none of it seemed bulky or heavy, so you wouldn't have a problem getting it on and off the subway.

Next, you had a meeting with HR to review a revised contract now that you were accepting a fully remote position, even though it was the exact same job you were doing before, it required all new paperwork.

By lunchtime, you finally managed to get an hour to yourself. You snuck out of the office to grab a sandwich at your favorite deli and checked in with Joel.

You: busy morning, my head is spinning... can't wait to leave - what are you guys up to?

Joel: Sarah wanted to see Central Park. Figured I would spare you, it's freezing out here but I can't get her away from the damn ice rink.

You: try not to get run over this time ;)

Joel: I only let that happen when you're around to save me.

You giggled to yourself as you walked down the street back to your office, the cold air not bothering you so much anymore.

You: ah I should have known it was all an act. Nobody could ever bring Joel Miller to his knees

Joel: Just you, baby.

You blushed and sent him a quick heart emoji before pocketing your phone and heading back into your building.

As you got off the elevator, you were distracted thinking about Joel and Sarah, wishing that you could be with them instead of stuck in your stuffy office building all day, but you comforted yourself with the fact that you'll all be crammed into a U-Haul truck for almost two days soon enough.

You had your head down, rummaging through your purse and not paying attention when you heard a familiar voice nervously say your name as you passed. You paused, swallowing the lump in your throat and turned around. You knew the odds of seeing her were pretty high, but since you managed to avoid her all morning, you had convinced yourself you might just get through the whole day.

"Hi, Melanie," you said, your voice strained.

"You look good!" she replied, giving you a cheesy grin. You nodded and forced a small smile in return.

"I was gonna stop by and get my stuff during the day tomorrow, if that's okay," you said, and she quickly nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Hey, listen... did you have a minute? I think we should talk," she asked, chewing her lower lip nervously. You glanced around the hallway, noting the looks you were getting from your coworkers who were no doubt trying to eavesdrop. You looked down at the time on your phone, your heartbeat slowing a fraction when you saw the picture of you and Joel kissing under the mistletoe as your background.

"I only have ten minutes," you said, hoping to dissuade her, but unfortunately she eagerly accepted your offer.

"Here, why don't we go into conference room B, there's no meetings scheduled," she said, leading you to the door, away from prying eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Melanie blurted out the moment she shut the door. "I was wasted. It's not an excuse, but I swear it only happened after you broke up. And it's over now."

When you saw the pictures, you had just assumed she was the girl Will was cheating on you with when you caught lipstick smeared on his neck after a night out. She could have been lying, but you weren't sure what the point would be, other than to try to clean up her reputation.

"That was really fucked up," you told her. You couldn't help it. It still stung to be betrayed by not only the man you were ready to spend your life with, but one of your closest friends, as well.

"I know," Melanie said, tears welling in her eyes. "You don't have to forgive me, I get it. But I just needed to tell you to your face. I just feel so awful that you're leaving town over it."

"Oh, I'm not moving because of you or Will," you said, taken aback. "Is that what people think?"

"I-I don't know. Maybe? It doesn't matter. Just as long as you're happy," she said, giving you what felt like a genuine smile.

"I'm moving because I met someone," you clarified. "Back home. In Texas, over Christmas."

"Oh, that's great! Good for you!" Melanie said, giving your shoulder a playful nudge, and you frowned.

You were about to argue with her, sensing that she didn't believe you and she was trying to help you save face, but you let it go. It didn't matter, anyway.

"I should be getting back, I have a meeting with Mike soon to go over this remote work thing," you told her, referring to your boss.

"I think it's great they allowed you to do that," she said, and you swore it sounded a little condescending, but you couldn't be certain.

"They offered it to me, actually. I didn't ask. I was giving them my resignation. Guess they really like my work or something, huh?"

You gave her a mocking smile as you headed back to your cube. At the end of the day, you were happy, and ironically it turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to you. But you didn't want to tell her that. It wasn't your responsibility to absolve her or anyone else of the guilt they had for what they did.

Joel met you down at the lobby when you texted and let him know you were getting off the subway. When he saw you lugging bags of computer equipment under your arm, he quickly rushed over to take it from you.

"Thank you," you said in relief, clenching your sore hand. He leaned down to press a soft kiss against your lips, and all the aggravation you still carried with you from earlier vanished. You were home.

"Have a good day?" he asked as you walked over to the elevator bank.

"Uh," you said, not really interested in rehashing your conversation with Melanie. "It was alright. Missed you guys a lot, though. Did you have fun?"

"Sarah had a great time. After the park, I took her to some cupcake spot she heard about online, then she swindled me into shoppin' for clothes. I think she's up there going through all her new stuff right now," he told you with a grin, jabbing the 3 button in the elevator.

You laughed and shook your head. Joel loved spoiling his daughter, he just liked to pretend otherwise.

"What should we do tonight?" you asked him as you followed him down the hall towards your room.

"Sarah wanted to try this Chinese restaurant nearby, you like Chinese?" he asked over his shoulder, realizing at the last minute he actually had no idea.

"Sure I do," you said with a grin.

"Then after, thought we could check out some huge tree. Probably won't get another chance for a long time."

"You mean the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree?" you asked, and he snapped his fingers.

"That's the one."

You giggled, as if there was another one that could compare to the most famous Christmas tree in the world.

After dinner, where Sarah insisted you all order something different and share, you headed to Rockefeller Plaza. As expected, it was insanely crowded, but none of you cared. The tree was massive and lit up in front of a huge ice rink, where families and couples glided around giggling and falling into each other.

Mercifully, Sarah said she got her fill of ice skating earlier in the day, so the three of you found an empty spot against the railing to watch all the skaters and admire the tree. Sarah pulled out her phone to take pictures, scurrying a few feet in both directions to try to get the best angle while Joel stood behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist and his prickly chin resting in the crook of your neck.

For the first time in a long time, Joel felt content. He felt like he had everything he could ever want: his little girl was happy and he had someone who loved him, someone who cared for him and wanted to be with him just as badly as he wanted to be with you. And the way you were with Sarah made his heart swell with so much love, he thought it might burst. It finally felt like the last puzzle piece in his life was found, a piece he didn't even realize he needed to survive until he met you.

The three of you walked slowly back to your hotel. Joel's hand linked with yours while Sarah skipped ahead, occasionally stopping and turning to look up at the huge skyscrapers in awe.

He watched as you laughed at Sarah's antics, your eyes lit up and your smile wide as she babbled on and on about how cool the city was and all the things she wanted to do tomorrow. You turned to look at him and when you noticed he had already been gazing at you with so much adoration, you blushed.

"What?" you asked when he didn't look away. "Do I have something in my teeth?" He laughed.

"Just can't believe I get to sleep next to the most beautiful girl in the world tonight," he said quietly so Sarah wouldn't overhear. The color on your cheeks deepened as you shook your head.

"There's literal models walking the streets here, you know," you teased.

"Seen 'em. They don't hold a candle to you," he said sincerely. You bit your lower lip, trying to contain your grin, and playfully shoved his shoulder.

"C'mon, charmer. Let's get back to the room," you told him, leaning into his arm and wrapping your free hand around his bicep, pulling him close.

"Tired?" he asked, watching Sarah shoot ahead a bit to look into the front windows of various shops.

"Nope," you said. His eyes shot over to yours and he smirked.

"Good."

Joel loved a lot of things about you. He loved the way you laughed, he loved how you pretended to like the action movies he suggested for movie night, and he loved how you insisted on helping him cook, just so you could be near him. But he especially loves the way you whisper his name breathlessly in his ear when he first sinks himself into you. The way you say it makes his heart flutter in his chest, like you were saying a prayer or sharing a secret that was only meant for his ears. Even throughout the day, whether he was at work or driving in the car or grocery shopping, he replayed it over and over in his head, like a mantra.

Joel, Joel, Joel.

He couldn't get enough of it. Like a catchy jingle that refused to leave his head. But nothing was like actually hearing it in his ear. It sent goosebumps all over his body every time. He rolled his hips and watched your lips part and your eyelids droop. It's only been a few weeks but you knew each others bodies so well, already. He never put much stock into the idea of soulmates, but for the first time in his life, he was starting to believe it. The instant connection you both had combined with the way your bodies fit so perfectly together left him with few other explanations.

Your fingers raked through his curls, nails gently scraping his scalp in just the right way that made a tingle shoot down his spine and a quiet moan slip past his lips. God, he fucking loved when you did that. He mentally added it to the ever growing list of reasons he loved you as his mouth descended upon your neck, his tongue flicking out to taste your skin while his lips leisurely roamed the column of your throat, stilling only when he found your pulse point thrumming steadily against his tongue.

If he could stay inside you forever, he would. His body constantly ached to be near you, to show you how much you meant to him, to prove to you he was devoted to you in every way. And the best part was, he felt all of that in return. Your hand always searched for his, whether you were in the car or walking down the street, you needed his touch just as badly as he craved yours. Even if it wasn't clear, the fact you gave up your whole life in this exciting city just to move to Texas more than proved your feelings for him.

"Joel," you whimpered again, your hands sliding from his hair to the sides of his head, dragging his face up so you could lock your lips with his. As the volume of your moans increased, he realized you were trying to muffle the sounds against his mouth, and the mere thought that he could give you so much pleasure that you couldn't even control the sound of your own voice made his knees weak.

"So beautiful," he gasped, pulling his face away so he could look at you, the pressure in his stomach building and his muscles tightening with every thrust. You bit down on your lower lip, trying desperately to stay quiet so his daughter wouldn't overhear in the next room. "Fuck, baby, you feel so good," he groaned softly, and watched as your eyes fluttered shut and your cheeks reddened at the compliment.

His big hand gripped your thigh, yanking it up so your leg hooked around his waist and he could delve deeper, his hips circling as he watched your face, waiting until he saw your eyes fly open and your jaw drop. Right there.

"Ohmygod," you whined, your brows pinching together as he felt your climax building around him.

"That's it," he mumbled hotly against your ear. He would never get tired of making you feel good. The way you fell apart for him like this made him feel like a man, like if he could do that for you, he could be capable of anything.

"I'm-" you began, but your gasp cut you off.

"I know, baby, I can feel it," he assured you, nibbling on your jaw. "Doin' so good."

Your nails dug into his bare shoulders as you hung onto him for dear life while your orgasm shot through you like lightning. You buried your face against his neck and let out a muffled scream that sounded like a garbled version of his name, and a lazy smile spread across his face.

"There we go," he said softly, his hips keeping up the same pace that brought you over the edge so you could ride out your orgasm as long as possible.

"I love you, Joel," you whispered hoarsely against his skin once you found your voice again.

"I love you, too, baby," he said with a grunt, chasing his own high now that he was certain you were satisfied. "God, love you so fuckin' much. Can't believe I went so long without you."

He frantically latched his mouth over yours as he felt himself spill inside you with a deep groan, his breaths ragged as his hips shallowly thrusted forward until he collapsed on top of you with a sigh of relief. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close with the side of his head resting against your chest as he listened to you catch your breath.

He felt you draw lazy circles over his back with your finger, and he was convinced he could fall asleep just like this if you let him.

"Joel?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think we're moving too fast?"

His eyes flew open and he tilted his chin up to look at you.

"Do you?"

"No," you said with a shake of your head, your finger still drawing patterns on his sensitive skin. "It's just - we've barely known each other for a month. Some people might find it shocking that we already say 'I love you'."

"It's not like we're teenagers," he said, nuzzling his face against your chest and closing his eyes. "I'm old enough to know how I feel 'bout you."

You grinned and kissed the top of his head.

"Me, too," you whispered, relieved to hear him say that. An insecure part of you had wondered if you pressured him into this relationship when you skipped your flight in favor of staying in Texas with him. He never gave you a reason to think otherwise, but considering how badly your last relationship ended and how you managed to ignore all the red flags, it was nice to hear Joel confirm it.

Friday

Luckily for you all, Melanie's building had a designated spot for moving trucks to temporarily park right outside the front door of the building. It was quiet, most of the residents were at work as you rode the elevator up to the 8th floor. You dug your keys out once the doors opened, and you led Joel and Sarah down the hallway and around the corner to Melanie's apartment.

"I don't have that much stuff," you assured them both as you unlocked the door. Joel shuffled a handful of flattened cardboard boxes inside and against the wall while Sarah dropped the bag of packing tape and bubble wrap on the kitchen counter.

"This place is so small, this is where you lived?" Sarah asked in disbelief. You laughed as you led her down the hall to the spare bedroom, where you had been bunking for just a few short days before you flew home to Texas for the holidays.

"I didn't stay here long. I used to live in a much bigger place, actually," you told her, opening the door and sighing at the work you had ahead of you. In your hurry to leave Will's apartment, you didn't exactly take much care in packing your things.

"Why did you move?"

"Sarah," Joel said in a warning tone, but you just shrugged.

"It's okay. I was engaged and living with the guy. It didn't work out," you told her, deciding not to get into specifics.

"How long were you together?"

"Sarah!" Joel scolded louder now.

"What?" she asked, clearly annoyed.

"Joel, it's fine, I'm over it," you laughed, waving him off as each of you began to construct the cardboard boxes. "Uh, long time. Seven years, give or take. We met in college," you told her.

Joel didn't even know that, although he had his suspicions based on pieces of information you had told him in the past. Still, hearing 'seven years' stunned him, although he knew he had no right to feel jealous. He was with his ex-wife for even longer, but he was a bit older than you, as well. But the thought of some man getting you to himself for that long and not even treating you the way you deserved set his teeth on edge.

The two of you spent most of the morning packing while Sarah continually got sidetracked looking through your purses and makeup. You took a short break after ordering in lunch, and by early afternoon you were close to finishing up.

"Shoot, I got a missed call from Tommy," Joel murmured, frowning down at his phone. "Didn't even hear it ring."

"There's really spotty reception in this building," you explained as you taped up a full box. "If you go down to the lobby, you should get a signal."

"Alright. You be good," he told Sarah, narrowing his eyes as he left the apartment.

Joel was pacing the lobby as he listened to Tommy on the other line.

"So, they brought us the wrong size?" Joel clarified. He reached up to rub his forehead with his spare hand and realized he had brought down a tape gun by mistake. Dropping his arm back down to his side, he turned around in the lobby as Tommy went into further detail about the mixup. He vaguely watched as a younger guy in an expensive looking suit tried the doors, then finding them locked, rang the bell for one of the apartments.

"Yeah so they sent us 6 size 8s when we really need 8 size 6s, right? I'll call 'em when we get back, but for now, go down to the other site on Summers. We should have size 6s there, then we'll replace 'em once I get it all sorted out."

An older lady walking her small dog got off the elevator and gave Joel a smile, which he returned with a quick nod. She held the door open for the younger man who was waiting to get buzzed in. His eyes landed on Joel, then he noticed the tape gun in his hand.

"Excuse me, are you the mover helping the girl in 807?"

Joel frowned and held up a finger. 807 was Melanie's apartment number.

"Tommy, lemme call you back," Joel said into the phone before ending the call. "Sorry, what was that?"

"You're the mover, right?" the young man asked again, now pointing to the U-Haul parked outside.

"In a way," Joel replied slowly, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. "Who are you?"

"Name's Will," he said, reaching out his arm to shake Joel's hand. If Will noticed Joel tense up and hesitate before forcing himself to shake his hand, he didn't let on.

"Joel. What can I do for you, Will?" Joel asked, doing his best to keep his emotions in check.

"The girl you're moving is my ex. I've been waiting to run into her and her friend told me - sorry, you don't care about any of this," Will realized with a chuckle.

"No, it's alright. Go ahead," Joel urged, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I messed up, and I came to try to get her back but I know she'll kill me if I go up there right now and surprise her," Will said, shifting his weight and fiddling nervously with his tie.

"How'd you mess up?" Joel couldn't help but ask, his body stiffening. You were his now. He wanted to set this little punk straight, but he bit his tongue.

"I cheated on her," he replied with a shrug. "I mean, it's New York! Everyone's sleeping with everyone, I didn't think she would get so pissed about it. But since she's been gone, I've been missing her, you know?"

"No, I don't know," Joel said, a frown etching his features now. He didn't appreciate the cavalier attitude he took when he spoke about hurting you. "Real men don't cheat on their women. They treat 'em with respect, treat 'em right. Sounds like she's better off, if you ask me."

Will stared at Joel for a moment, an awkward silence filling the lobby, but Joel didn't back down. He held his glare and waited for Will to make the next move.

"You sound like you're from the South," Will said.

"Yep."

"My girl's from Texas," he added, the wheels turning.

"Don't sound like she's your girl anymore," Joel couldn't help but remind him, and Will's jaw clenched.

"Right," Will finally said, eyeing Joel up and down one more time before turning to the elevator. He pressed the call button right as the doors slid open, revealing both you and Sarah each holding a box.

You didn't notice Will at first. Your eyes immediately found Joel's and you smiled, but then you took in the look on his face and your smile wavered. You shifted your gaze to Will and your eyes widened in shock when he gave you a warm smile and said your name in greeting.

"Will," you replied coldly, all the blood draining from your face as you forced yourself to step off the elevator so the doors wouldn't close.

He took a step towards you, leaning in to plant a kiss on your cheek, but you quickly stepped back. Joel had to hide his smirk as he held out his arms for the box you were holding.

"I'll take it to the truck," he assured you, and your wide eyes flicked back to Joel. You began to shake your head and he stopped you. As much as he wanted to stay and put this guy in his place, that wasn't going to happen. Not with his daughter right next to him. He trusted you implicitly, and if you needed his help, you would ask for it.

"I'll be right back," he said softly, and you slowly released your grip on the box to allow him to take it. "C'mon, Sarah," he said. Sarah gave you a confused look as she followed Joel out the front door behind you.

"Your mover's got a kid working for him?" Will tried to joke, but you just whipped your head around to glare at him.

"My what?"

"The mover you hired. Kind of a weird guy," Will said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"What do you want, Will?" you asked, anger flaring in your belly.

"I want you back," he said bluntly. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you. I got carried away, it's no excuse but all the guys I work with at the firm all have side pieces and I just lost sight of everything and what we had." He reached a hand out to try to take yours, but you crossed your arms defensively.

"C'mon, don't be like that. We have a history together. I said I was sorry."

"I don't give a shit," you spat. "I was with you since college, Will! I was there when you were broke and failing class and I fucking helped you! And the second you get an ounce of success, that's how you repay me?"

"Listen-"

"No, I'm done listening. I wasted way too many years on you, and I'm not interested in wasting another minute." You dropped your hands to your side, about to turn around to find Joel outside when his hand shot out and grabbed your shoulder.

"What are you gonna do, huh? You think you're gonna find anyone in Texas better than me? Think again, sweetheart," Will said with a scoff. You knocked his hand roughly off your shoulder.

"I already did, actually," you couldn't help but say smugly. "Joel."

"Joel? The mover?" Will asked, looking over your shoulder and out the glass lobby doors.

"He's not my mover, you asshole, he's my boyfriend," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Oh, wow, and he's got a kid? C'mon, you gotta see how that's a step down," Will replied, tossing his hands in the air in disbelief.

"Shut the hell up," you snapped, your voice rising. Joel swung the door open just as you were finishing your sentence. "She's amazing. And Joel treats me better than you ever did, and he actually knows how to make me come!"

Joel cleared his throat behind you and you spun around on your heel, heat immediately flooding your face. To your relief, Sarah was a few seconds behind and didn't walk into the lobby until you had already stopped speaking. You looked back and forth between Joel and Sarah, your eyes wide and your heart hammering in your chest. Joel tried his best to hide his smirk by looking down at his feet, but you could see his cheeks lift and the dimple appear on the side of his mouth.

"Fine," Will said curtly, brushing past you, clearly not appreciating the hit to his manhood. He locked eyes with Joel as he was about to leave.

"Good luck, man," Will said, shaking his head.

"Doesn't sound like I need it," Joel said over his shoulder with a grin. Will paused for a moment with his hand on the lobby door before pushing forward and walking back out onto the sidewalk.

"Uh, what was that about?" Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow at you and Joel. You turned away, trying to hide the color on your face and neck.

"Nothin', babygirl," Joel said, his grin still plastered across his face. He draped an arm over you and Sarah's shoulders as you waited for the elevator. "Nothin' at all."

Saturday - New Years Eve

You and Joel strolled hand in hand throughout the Museum of Modern Art, gazing at the art hanging from the ceiling overhead as you made your way to the next exhibit. Sarah led the way excitedly, her crumpled brochure tight between her fingers as she made sure you got to see every single piece of art the museum had to offer.

Yesterday, you had apologized profusely to Joel the moment you were alone and Sarah couldn't overhear. He had just looked at you in surprise, not understanding what could warrant an apology. He had never felt more proud when he heard the end of your argument with Will, but you explained you felt childish and immature. Maybe you were right, but that didn't stop him from feeling like he was on top of the world. And it also didn't stop him from joining you in the shower that morning to prove to you twice that he could, in fact, make you come.

If that made him immature, then so be it.

Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much as you watched Sarah lead you from piece to piece. She looked so happy and you were thrilled you were given the opportunity to be a part of her life and witness her unbridled joy for things you took for granted.

Something snapped in you when Will implied that Joel having a daughter would be a downgrade. You couldn't help your reaction, you saw red and jumped to their defense because they both meant the world to you, and you refused to let anybody say otherwise. Regardless of the history you had with Will, you realized it all meant nothing to him until he couldn't have you anymore. And once that clicked, that shared history no longer meant anything to you, either. The only thing that mattered was Joel, Sarah, and your family. Because those are the people who truly loved you, who loved you unconditionally, and that was all that mattered now.

After the museum, the three of you got hot dogs from a street vendor because according to Sarah, it wouldn't be a true New York experience without one. It had been a while since you had one, and you were surprised at how good it was. You grinned as you watched Sarah lick the mustard from her fingers and told her so far her to-do list was knocking it out of the park.

"Are you sure we can't go to Times Square tonight?" Sarah begged the both of you as you headed towards the Empire State Building next.

"People have been lining up there all morning," you explained. "We would waste the entire day, but I promise you'll still be able to see fireworks from anywhere in the city."

"It's way too cold and you gotta be squished up against people or else you lose your spot," Joel added. "Not my idea of a good time."

"Alright," Sarah said dejectedly, unable to hide her disappointment.

"Hey, I think I have a better idea," you told her, and she looked up at you expectantly. "Why don't we go up to the roof of the hotel tonight? You'll have a great view of the city and that way you could see all of the fireworks, in every direction. We can bring up snacks and blankets -"

"Yes!" Sarah squealed, jumping up and down. "Yes! That sounds perfect!"

Joel chuckled as he watched Sarah bounce around, talking animatedly with you as she already planned what snacks she wanted to buy, Times Square already long forgotten.

He gazed at you adoringly as you giggled with Sarah in front of him on the sidewalk. How did you always know what to do? The way you fit into their lives with such ease astounded him. He always thought he would end up alone after he and his ex divorced. He had never really considered a relationship, although he ached for someone like you for years, he focused all of his energy on Sarah and making sure she had everything she ever needed. But watching the two of you together just solidified what he and his daughter were both missing in their lives. You brought this beautiful energy and light into everything you did, and suddenly he didn't seem to mind all the years he spent so alone, because now that you were here, it all made sense. He was just waiting for you.

You and Sarah juggled all of the blankets you could find in the two rooms while Joel lugged up two bags worth of drinks and snacks behind you on the stairs. Once you made it to the roof, you realized you weren't the only ones who had the idea, but even so, there was still plenty of space for you to have some privacy together while you waited for midnight. You spread out a thick blanket to sit on while Joel laid out all the snacks and popped a bottle of champagne and Sarah took pictures of the skyline.

"This is perfect," Joel told you as he handed you a champagne flute. You thanked him and settled in next to him, the back of your head resting on his shoulder as you watched Sarah take selfies then frown, deleting them before changing the angle and trying again.

"You think you'll be too tired to drive tomorrow?" you asked him, and he scoffed.

"No way. I can get four hours of sleep and still operate a table saw. Drivin' a truck will be a piece of cake."

You giggled and took a sip of your drink.

"I hope you have your liability insurance up to date," you teased, and he grinned. "Where do you think we can stop for the night?"

"Thinkin' if we make it to Nashville, that'll be a good spot, 'bout halfway," he said, and you nodded.

Sarah helped you set up a tray of cheese and crackers as the clock inched closer to midnight. You could see her eyelids drooping, but she was fighting to stay awake. She definitely wasn't used to all of the walking that was required in New York City, and it showed.

You had to nudge her awake when you heard the other people on the roof begin to murmur louder, and when you glanced at the time, you realized it was only a couple minutes until the ball dropped. She sat up and sleepily rubbed her eyes, but perked up quickly when you informed her it was almost time. She jumped up and pushed her way to the railing so she could get the best view of the street below, but you and Joel stayed cozied up under a blanket on the ground.

You listened as the small crowd of people on the roof began to countdown to midnight, and joined in with the cheers when the clock struck midnight. Fireworks began going off in the distance in every direction, and much to your surprise, someone was setting them off a block away on the roof. The loud pop made you jump, and Joel chuckled next to you.

"C'mere," he said, pinching your chin and pulling you in for a kiss. His lips felt cold but his hands were warm as you let yourself melt into his touch.

"Happy New Year, baby," he murmured against your mouth, and you smiled.

"Happy New Year," you whispered before cupping his face and pulling him closer, your lips slotting together perfectly as the fireworks continued to go off and the rest of the crowd looked up in awe. But neither of you cared to take your eyes off the other. There was no point: nothing could compare to what was right in front of you.

Sunday - New Years Day

Sarah yawned, her chin resting in her hand as she slumped over the table at the diner you had found within a short walking distance of the hotel, one of the few places open on a holiday. You had gotten up early so you could hit the road and put as many miles under your belt as you could. The trip was short, but you crammed in as many things as you could, and you could tell even Sarah was ready to get back home.

"Dad, I'm tired," Sarah pouted as she watched Joel finish eating his pancakes.

"You can sleep in the truck," he told her, wiping his mouth before drinking the rest of his coffee. "This ain't even that early. I'm normally up -"

"By 5, yeah, we know," Sarah said, rolling her eyes dramatically, making you giggle. Joel raised an eyebrow at you.

"Oh, so now you're gangin' up on me?" he said accusingly, but his tone was light, which made you laugh even more.

"Where are we gonna put all your stuff?" Sarah asked suddenly. You frowned, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"At the house. Where's your stuff gonna go? Dad's closet is already overflowing-"

"Oh, no," you told her, shaking your head. "We're taking it to my mom and dad's house until I find an apartment."

"An apartment? Like that small one you just left? Why?" Sarah asked, snagging an extra piece of bacon from your plate.

"Well, apartments are notoriously tiny in New York City. The ones in Austin will be bigger," you explained, ignoring her underlying question. But she didn't let you get away with it that easy.

"We could make room at our house, right Dad? Can't you build something for her clothes?" Sarah asked, turning on him now.

"Uh, yeah," he replied, anxiously draping his arm across the back of the booth. "But she wants her own space, baby girl."

"But why?" Sarah asked, furrowing her brows at you. "You're over all the time anyway." You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

"Yeah, I know. But your Dad and I just met, and you really should be together longer before you move in with someone," you explained, and you felt Joel shift his weight next to you.

"You said you were with that other guy for seven years and you lived with him, right?" she questioned, and you knew immediately where she was going with it.

"Yeah," you said slowly.

"So maybe that doesn't really matter," she said with a shrug. You shifted your eyes to Joel, silently asking for help, and he straightened up in his seat.

"Alright, that's enough, detective," he said to Sarah. "Let's get a move on, I wanna hit the road."

A couple hours later as you made your way further south and Joel confirmed Sarah was fast asleep in the backseat, he cleared his throat, getting your attention.

"Y'know, 'bout earlier," he began, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel. "If you wanted, you could move in. But only if you wanted," he repeated nervously, stealing a glance in your direction. "Don't want you thinkin' I don't want you around-"

"Oh!" you said, blinking in surprise. "Thank you, but I think maybe I should learn to live by myself for a while. I've either always lived with my parents, or a roommate, or Will. I think it would be good for me to get my own place. Nothing against you," you said hurriedly, "I really appreciate the offer."

"'Course," Joel said, nodding in understanding. "Just wanted you to know you're always welcome at our house."

"I know, thank you," you replied, reaching your hand across the seat to him, and he dropped his hand from the steering wheel in favor of holding yours.

"Besides, we can have sleepovers at an apartment where we can be as loud as we want," you whispered with a wink, and he smirked.

"I'm gonna have your poor neighbors up all night," he told you, and you giggled. "Get you kicked out, then you'll have to move in with me." You laughed even louder at that, and Joel joined in, eventually waking up Sarah.

"What's so funny?" she asked sleepily, and Joel shook his head.

"Nothin', go back to sleep," he said, glancing at her in the review mirror.

"Well, I'm up now," she said, stretching and looking out the window. "Where are we?"

"Somewhere in Maryland," you told her over your shoulder. She groaned and laid back down, shoving her earbuds in.

"Wake me when we get home," she mumbled, closing her eyes.

You smiled, turning to look out the window at the cars flying by on the thruway. It didn't really matter where you were because you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

You were already home.

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chic-a-gigot · 2 years

Photo

La Mode illustrée, no. 21, 26 mai 1912, Paris. Robe de visite en soie Liberty bleu Sèvres garnie de dentelle de Chantilly noire et de petits boutons; le corsage à basques est retenu par une ceinture fixée sous des boutons. Ville de Paris / Bibliothèque Forney

#La Mode illustrée #20th century #1910s #1912 #periodical #fashion #fashion plate #photo #color #retouch #Forney #dress #visiting #Liberty #blue #lace #chantilly

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bahrtofane · 26 days

Text

promises under the stars

It's strange. When kisses under stairwells and behind his parents house turns to no more than passing gazes. To hatred. But this is the life you live, the life you have chosen. So you live. You will live.

Jude x fem!reader

Word count - 6.3K+ (yikes !!)

Watch it - angst with minimal fluff. enjoy ?

p.s. - i took a few creative liberties with the time lines an what not so plz take it with a grain of salt and dont think too deeply about it thank u

you can read Judes pov here !

—-----

“Jude, “ you sigh. He doesn't look at you, he's afraid of what he’ll see and you know it.

It's a warm summer night, and you sit side by side on the bleachers of his training field. You waited for hours for him to be done, all for just a few moments together. In full honesty, you're not even supposed to be here, you've been threatened from both sides. And even family overseas have joined in. it's a mess. You think you told them you were off to the library, something like that.

You pulled so many strings just to be let inside to watch training, likewise for Jude. But you're here, he's here. That's all that matters.

Only the lights on the field illuminate you, but you have memorized his face to need no light to see him. Your fingers grab into the seat under you, knuckles turning white. You're afraid. Oh so afraid.

“Please,” you try again, soft and steady, patient.

He finds the courage to face you, ripping himself from the doubt that surrounds him.

You are what plants him to reality, keeps him steady. Your smile is enough to calm any worry, wave away any woe. He hates what he has to do.

“You know this is the last time I’ll see you,” he mumbles. He can't keep risking things the way they are. There's so many eyes on you as it is. He won't put you into harm's way, even if it means parting ways to do so. He wrings his hands together. Breathe, he tries to remind himself. Breathe.

You nod, swift and curt, “I know.” oh how you know. You've been dreading this day to come for a while now. And now that it's here, what can you do?

He picks at the cuffs of his training jacket,“I told them I would marry you, but my agent said it would be unwise.”

“You would marry me?” you whisper, eyes wide.

“A thousand times over. “ he finds your hand, gently lacing it together.

“I wish things were different.” a knot in your throat forms, and tears well in your eyes.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, gently bringing you snug against him as you sob. You will never understand why your families are so adamantly against you two all of the sudden. Your whole childhood was filled with teasing and jokes of marrying one another, giggles when you would be forced to stand in pictures, but now that it was to be true suddenly the jokes faded and anger took its place.

He is good for you as you are good for him. Jude is a man like no other, patient, caring, kind, soft and easy to you yet firm to all else. He holds each door open, never forgets flowers, even when he's away. Surprises you with your favorite sweets, never misses a good night or good morning text. Buys you things you mentioned casually in a fleeting conversation, all because it comes from your lips. If you were to wish for the world he would buy it all, tied neatly and delivered to your window sill.

He takes each burden off your mind with a smile, carries your things, sends a ride to any place you wish to be. (he's working on the actual license).

You fully expected your families to be static, jumping for joy and diving straight to wedding planning. Instead you were met with a brisk, “no.”

No? No to the man who has overtaken your heart and mind? No to the man who wishes to see your flourish and bloom in every regard, every aspect, every part of life? It's cruel in a way. You once used to grimace at the idea when you were younger, fake gagging and instead choosing to wrestle with him in the grass. And now you beg to be allowed to see him.

To ban your union is one thing, but to see him at all brings too much weight on your heart.

You fought every step of the way, every step until now. It gets to be too much at a certain point, when you have to watch your very move in fear of being caught, of being seen with him. When eyes wash over you with lips upturned in sneers and whispers soon following.

The delicate facade you've built is beginning to crack at the seams. Soon there will be nothing left to keep you together. You fear going mad.

So you choose to let him go.

Your phone buzzes, prying the two of you apart. Your heart leaps to your throat. Have you been found out ?

It's just a twitter notification.

You sigh, rubbing your eyes. He rubs gentle circles on your knee. His hands are warm. Just like you remember, just like you dream of. In the gentle quiet of your room you close your eyes and wish for him.

“We can't see each other but I want to keep in touch. I'll wait for you. If you'll wait for me.” he whispers.

You see the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. Ever thoughtful Jude, waiting for you to finish crying to allow himself to do so.

“I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes. “ you nod, leaning on his shoulder.

And you do just that.

Youre forced apart when a teammate tells him to get going.

He scowls, “hold on.”

The teammate, whose name alludes you, shrugs and jogs back inside.

You stand, watching him shake the tension out of his shoulders.

“This is it then,” you mumble, lip quivering.

“Yeah,” he takes your hands in his, “guess so.”

You bit your lip to stop any more cries. He unlatches a hand from yours, brining it to cup your face gently, wiping the streaks of dried treats left on your cheeks.

“I love you,” he leans down, pressing a single kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” you nod, chasing his lips. He gives them to you. Soft and easy. You screw your eyes shut. Oh you're crying again.

You part when you can no longer breathe, foreheads pressed together while your chests heave.

“My angel,” he sobs.

“Ill find a way back,” you kiss his cheek.

He nods, here,” shaking his training jacket off and putting it on you.

Someone yells his name and he sighs. One last kiss to your forehead.

You watch him sprint down the stands, giving you one last smile before disappearing in the tunnel.

—--

Dortmund is kind to him, you watch as you flourish on the field, never missing a game. You know it's too much to go in person so you stay tucked into bed, laptop out and always always waiting for his name to be announced. Giddy as he looks at the camera. Some days you even convince yourself he's looking right at you.

He calls when he can, facetime you when he's at the facilities. Obnoxiously flexing to the camera while you laugh. You treasure these moments. The few minutes a day when the time difference allows for an overlap. Just enough to get you through to the next day. He always blows a kiss to the camera, and you alway catch it. No matter how cheesy.

“I stubbed my toe.” he whines on the other end.

You laugh, “and whose fault is that.”

“Yours.” he decides.

“Uh huh.” you shake your head fondly, raising a brow at your phone that sits on a window sill. Today you're at a cafe getting some work done. And he just finished dinner.

“Think you'll be able to come to a game soon?” he asks, voice barely a whisper.

You stop typing, frowning, “Jude…”

He shakes his head, “I'm sorry. I know. We can't.”

“Maybe in a year or so? Things should be cooled down by then.”

“Sure,” he shrugs, “they still giving you a hard time?”

You blow air through your nose, “hard time is an understatement, they've practically banned sports.” making light of the outrages situation helps you feel better some days. Jude joining in helps. He always helps.

“So dramatic.” he tuts.

You nod, “so dramatic.”

—--

The year comes and goes. The texts slow down till they are few and far inbetween. You can't blame him. You watch him dominate the field in each appearance, breaking records and showing the world what you've always known, showing just how special he is.

His following count skyrockets and he gets a blue check. You feel special to be one of the few he follows. No matter how silly. Even when he doesn't reply to you and posts on his story you try not to take it too hard (you let it get to your head on bad days.)

You wait for each reply patiently like a lifeline nonetheless, connecting the two of you together. You drop everything the moment his name flashes on the screen. You try to ease the butterflies that float and twist in your stomach, the jitters that make it hard to type out responses right. But you can't help it.

He wins the German cup. And you get a call late into the night, bleary as you reach for your phone, groaning while you put it to your ear. Skipping over his face that illuminates the screen, smiling. Cheeks flush and eyes blown wide.

He giggles, “hi.”

“Hi,” you mumble back.

He giggles again, “m in your ear.”

You squint, bringing the phone in front of you and getting your first good look of him of the night.

“Hey Jude.”

“Hey love.” he sighs dreamily.

You come to your senses soon enough, scooting to sit upright, pushing your pillows around getting comfortable.

“Are you drunk?” You laugh.

“Shhh…” he puts a finger to his lips, “secret.”

You raise a brow, “you’re not doing a very good job at keeping it that way.”

Bursts of laughter bubble from his lips. Swaying side to side while. He blinks, hard, mouth open while he stares.

“ ‘M fine.” He nods. Proud of himself.

You frown, “Are you going to be okay? Are you alone?”

“Erlings with me. My best roommate.”

“Okay good. Be safe.”

“You’re so pretty.” Is what he manages to get out.

“Thank you. You should go to bed.” You smile. He’s sweet, no matter how drunk.

“But I missed you.” He pouts, bottom lip quivering and for a second you think he’s about to cry. Instead he blows a kiss to you. Of course you catch it.

“I missed you too. But it’s late, for both of us.” You lean against your pillow, blinking against the dark of your room.

He hums, tapping his finger against his chin. “I won the cup.” He blurts.

“I know love. I watched.”

His eyes go wide, “you watched me.”

You nod, “the whole game.”

He scrunches his nose, “wow.”

“You did amazing.”

“Wow.” He repeats.

You yawn, squinting against the time in the little corner of your phone.

“Jude.”

“Hm?”

“Head to bed. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

He sighs, shoulders sagging, “fine.”

“I love you. “

He perks right back up. “I love you. You. You.”

You give him a little kiss to the screen and he manages to fall back on his bed sighing happily. You hear erling come in and decide to hang up. You hope he manages to get out of his kit for the night.

——

Things start to calm down on your end. It's almost like everyone's choosing to forget about the hell they've put you through. But you don't make a fuss, you are happy to have peace of mind, no matter how fleeting it may seem. It's just one step closer to being able to have him. Fully and wholly.

He calls you early into the morning. He's sitting in his house, shirt off, smiling.

“Uh oh. What's this about? “

He only smiles wider, bringing an ipad out of nowhere and showing it to you.

You squint, “jude i can't see that. “

He huffs, “here,” picking up his phone and flipping the camera to where his ipad now sits on his lap.

On the screen reads flight information, for about 2 weeks out, destination is to you. Your eyes go wide and you hear him chuckle on the other end.

“No way. No way oh my god.” you all but squeal.

He flips the camera back around, “Can't wait to see you again,” he beams.

“I missed you so much.”

“Me too.” he mumbles, lips curling in a smile.

——-

You greet him at the airport, flowers in hand. No you don’t care how cheesy it is. Even if you have to wait in the most obscure place, car parked and nerves rising. Playing with every button and switch on your dashboard, picking at every spec of dust you can reach. You got it detailed yesterday and you’re already nitpicking.

You check and recheck your phone, picking at the petals of the flowers that rest in your passenger, until his contact illuminates your screen.

You frantically answer, “hey.”

“TSA was being a bitch.” He groans.

You chuckle, “that bad.”

“The worst. Where you at?”

You look around for signs, “arrivals, right next to the luggage cart return thing. It says door D5. “

“D5. Okay okay I’m coming.”

You hum, hanging up and drumming your hands on the wheel.

He calls you again, “okay I’m walking out the door. Can you help me with the luggage?”

“Yeah-“ you unbuckle your seatbelt, putting your hazards on and stepping out of the car. You see him walk out the door and you almost drop your phone while rushing up to him.

He lets go of his carry on, opening his arms and you slip right into them.

“Hey,” he hums into your hair.

You laugh,“hey.”

You unlatch far too soon for your liking out the sounds and rush of the airport pushes you to get him in your car and outta here.

You grab his things, one carry on and one checked bag, clicking your keys and opening your trunk. He doesn’t let you do much else, lifting the suitcase and sliding it inside. Your little 4 door sedan manages to fit the checked bag in your truck. With not enough room for the carry in, it slides into your back seat.

You close the door, patting the top of your car affectionately, “there. All good to go?”

He nods, opening the door to your passenger and gasping, “flowers?” Eyes going wide, eyebrows shooting in and looking at you. Lips parted.

Oh yes. You forgot about those. “Haha. Yeah. Flowers.”

He picks them up gingerly, setting them into his lap as he gets into the seat. “Are these for me?”

You hop to the driver's side, buckling your seatbelt, “duh.”

He giggles,”they’re sweet.”

“Smell them.”

He does, putting his face in the petals, “woah.”

“Best flowers in town.”

“Smells like. Fresh laundry.” He nods.

“Laundry. You called my flowers laundry.” You sigh.

He swats your arm, “it’s a compliment jeez. Just landed and you’re giving me a hard time.”

“Yeah yeah buckle up.” You flick his arm.

The ride home is one filled with animated stories to catch up the time between you two. Completely oblivious to anything else as you drive with one hand, and the other plays with his fingers.

You get to your little apartment, parking and getting his things out. Sliding your key card over the sensor and you guide him to the lobby.

You roll over to the elevator and hit the button. Sniffling while it heads up.

“Are you sick?” He narrows his eyes at you.

“Nah.”

“Mkay.”

The elevator dings and you find your way to your little home, unlocking the door and motioning him inside.

“Ta da!”

He snorts, “I’m excited.”

“You should be. Best house this side of the equator.”

He rolls his things inside, shaking his head, “so there’s better on the other side?”

You shrug, “there might be.”

He collapses on your couch the moment he sees it. Closing his eyes and sighing deeply.

“Shoes off at the door Jude.” You slide yours off and set them next to your shoe rack.

He groans, kicking them off and trudging back to set them next to yours.

By the time you put his things in your room, he's out like a light, snoring softly.

—--

You let him sleep, by the time he comes back to it it's dinner time. Groggy and cranky he pads over to your dining table, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes but reaching for you.

He finds you eventually, plating the last bit of food while he wraps his arms around you, leaning into your back. You stifle a laugh while he mumbles something about you being mean. You only roll your eyes, unlatching his grip.

“Time to eat baby.”

He only purses his lips, leaning against yours. You give him what he wants. Pressing a gentle kiss and guiding him to his seat. A sleep Jude is a clingy one you've learned.

He eats all you make, complimenting and praising you after every bite.

“You're so good at this.” he sighs, taking a sip of his water.

“Anything for my favorite boy.”

He preens at this, smiling wide.

He's only here for the next three days but you'll take anything you can get.

——-

Jude worries for you.

Even in the gentle lull of your ac that fans his face while you're fast asleep against him.

He wonders who much longer he can keep doing this. Holding onto hope that down the line he will still have you.

His time is running out with you. It feels just like the day you parted at the stadium. Crying. He noticed you kept the jacket, neatly tucked in your closet.

It makes him frown. Making you waste your youth waiting for him.

Part of him wants to keep you for him and only him. Keep waiting and hoping things will work out. Another part of him, much less excited, wishes for you to look him in the eye and tell him you don't love him anymore.

One of you has to do it, he thinks.

Even if you move in with him and you get married. Is it worth the fall out? His mother hates you. His father cant stand hearing your name at the dinner table on the few days they eat together.

He knows the sentiment is shared on your end.

But he loves you. Oh how he loves you.

—--

After he leaves you don't hear from him for months on end your worry rises, and when the replies also shorten, your fear takes a hold of you. Sensibility out the window and in comes every insecure thought.

He's found a hot shot model to be with hasn't he. Or better yet a female player. Reporter perhaps? You're not dumb or blind, you know you're not the only one who sees how handsome he is. He's growing into his features beautifully. But does he see you?

Is he leaving you behind now, as his life and career continue to accelerate at speeds you can barely keep up with, is he no longer waiting for you ?

—--

Jude finds his routine once again. Training playing, training playing. It's a little dull, he thinks.

Much better if you would be here.

But he can't have that.

He stops himself from talking to you. It feels wrong. He can't shake off the feeling that he's only doing you wrong by making you keep up with him. So he slowly distances himself.

—--

He cant stay away. Not even if he tries.

He surprises you near your birthday. Completely unannounced while you're in the middle of cleaning.

You open the door to a jittery Jude who grabs you close, pressing his lips firm to yours.

“Hello to you too,” you giggle in between kisses.

Peck! “You're so-” peck!, “beautiful.”

You shoo him away, getting his things inside as he takes his shoes off at the door.

“I missed you so much, “ he mumbles against the crook of your neck.

“Me too,” you sigh, clutching into his hands like a lifeline.

“I got you tickets?”

You look up at him, “okay. Ill go.”

He attacks you with a hundred more kisses, bursts of laughter spilling from the both of you. You dont think youve ever been happier.

—--

You do go. Sitting in the fancy VIP section while watching him warm up. You almost forgot he’s at Madrid now. Big leagues huh.

He sends small waves your way in between exercises. And you only watch fondly.

When it's time for the actual match, you can't believe you get to watch him score. And he points right to you.

You love him. Oh how you love him.

He finds you after it's all set and done. Kissing you silly while he ignores the hundreds of notifications that make his phone buzz and sputter on the table.

You frown, “who is that.”

He chews his lip, “prolly just the guys,” leaning back into your lips.

You're forced to part ways when the calls flood in, promising to see you soon when he takes care of things.

He doesn't come back to see you, instead leaving you to head back to your hotel alone. You try not to think too deeply into it. But you fear you are already starting to lose him. After everything really has passed and fizzled out to nothing but memories. You fear it's all too late.

—--

You see him only once more during your stay in madrid. When youre all packed and leaving. He presses kisses to your skin whispering promises. And you believe him.

When you land back home you go back to your routine of watching him from afar. And again the replies shorten. So much so you only get the odd text every few weeks. Until it turns to months. And you're back to radio silence.

It's almost a self pity party, trying to keep up with him. Even now that you can go see him, he can come see you, does he even want that anymore?

You crave to talk to him, to know him, to go back to the closeness you once shared. You know that's no longer your place in his life. You were someone he once treasured. Now you're another unanswered dm that lays in his inbox.

Does it hurt you as much as it does him? You don't think so. Not when pictures of him on vacation with his “friends” surface. Who even are these people? You don't recognize a single face. It fills you with rage.

Almost like he's trying to erase his past life with this new squeaky clean image of the perfect player with the perfect life. Friends and all.

Is he ashamed of you?

You fight the urge to call his mom and stir up trouble from the past. So instead you hunker down in your room and try to keep yourself busy and mind off of Jude. This turns out to be much easier said than done.

—--

Jude finds himself in another after party, wearing clothes much too expensive to be getting champagne sprayed all over them. But what else can he do?

He crafted this image delicately. Can't turn back now.

There's a woman who keeps whispering into his ear. She's not you. No matter how much his teammates howl and egg him on. He can't bring himself to do so much as face her.

He's not interested, gently moving her aside while he nurses his drink.

She scoffs, calling him a slew of names. He frowns, excusing himself and making a beeline for the bathrooms. Locking himself inside a stall and leaning on its walls.

He calls you. Of course he does. And you pick up.

“Hey Jude.” he can hear the smile in your voice.

“Hey love.”

“What's up?”

He sighs, long and drawn out, “I just miss you.”

You snort, “really because it seems like you've been having a blast on beaches with people i've never heard of.”

Oh.

“It's not like that-”

“Jude. don't lie to me. If you've found someone else, tell me now.”

“I havent I swear. They really are just friends.”

“Why didn't you tell me you were going?” you whisper.

There's a beat of silence. And Jude can't find the answer. Looking at the ceiling of the club like it will magically come to life and give him just the right combination of words to make both of you happy.

You sigh, “if we are going to make anything work I can't be out of the loop this much Jude. I can't know things after paparazzi do okay?”

“Okay,” he replies, meek.

“Where even are you?”

He licks his lips, “this after party thing.”

“Its in a club isn't it.”

He doesn't answer but it's confirmation nonetheless.

“Dont be stupid and start calling me more.”

He opens his mouth to answer, but you've already hung up. He rubs his eyes and head out the stall. Washing his hands and splashing some water on his face.

When he gets back out there, he decides to call it a night. Ignoring the groans and frowns he gets.

When he's back in bed. He's looking at flights to see you again.

—--

Jude gets a call a few weeks later.

It's right after he gets back from training. Hasn't even changed yet.

The number is unknown and he ignores it the first time. Setting his phone on the dinning table and kicking his shoes off.

When it calls back two more times he picks up.

“Hello?” he scratches the back of his head.

“You know why im calling.” its your father.

Jude scrambles to take a seat, chewing his lips. What does he mean know why. He hasn't talked to you in a few days.

“Um, I really don't know-” he gets cut off.

“This will be my last warning to you. You are not going to ruin my daughter's life i dont give a damn how old you are, how old she is. None of this player nonsense. She has a proper education. You aren't going to ruin that for her, do you understand?”

Silence.

“I swear if I hear you coming around her or talking to her I will sue you and your whole family.”

The line goes dead and Jude sighs. Great. Just great.

He calls his lawyer, seeing if it would be legal to sue.

His lawyer hums, “well they can come at you from any angle really. Emotional distress possible defamation. Id lay low for now.”

So he does just that. Yet again going silent on you.

—--

He hears wind that people have put two and two together. Your instagram has been flooded with requests. You've always had it private but you've been forced to change your user name and picture.

You don't know how but pictures from when you saw him in Madrid have resurfaced.

And have gone more than just viral. It's all people are talking about.

Your work life has gone from just pleasantries and work only talk to people crowding around you begging to know more. You've had people show up to your workplace for god's sake. Begging to be let in so they can see you.

Jude calls you, worried. “I'm so sorry I don't know how pics were even taken. I'm so sorry im so sorry.”

“I don't know what to do Jude i've never dealt with this kinda stuff.” you mumble.

“Hey, hey its okay. Ill get you in contact with a security company dont worry leave it to me.”

“Okay.”

“For now. I dont think ill be able to see you anytime soon.”

“Thats okay.”

“Be safe yeah?”

“Yeah.”

—--

Your family is in a complete uproar. They blame Jude. of course they do. Your father talks about suing him but you turn it down.

“He didnt mean for this to happen.”

Your mother shakes her head, “this is why we told you to stay away from him.”

You dont regret any moments with him.

It takes a while. A grueling few months for your life to finally go back to normal. But Jude rarely comes back like before.

You watch the months turn to years flashing by. Facetimes become a luxury of your past self. Calls are reserved for special occasions like an aged wine. Only brought out sparelily. You get one on your birthday but it feels forced. Heavy and filled with all too much silence.

You've tried calling, texting. Rarely receiving the time of day. Who is Jude to you anymore?

“Hey, “ he smiles. A picture perfect rehearsed one. You almost forgot what he sounded like when speaking to you. How long has it been now?

“Hi.” You mumble.

“Happy birthday. Sorry I couldn’t be there.”

You shrug, “it’s okay.”

Silence while you pick your nails.

“Any plans?”

“I don’t know, maybe dinner with friends.”

“Oh Emily?”

You want to roll your eyes. You haven’t spoken to Emily in years.

“No Jude. We’re not in touch anymore. New friends I’ve met”

He mouths a silent “oh”.

He wants to tell you why he's been gone for so long. But unfortunately he's caught up in a legal battle. Your father actually went ahead with it. And he's stuck trying to make sense of it.

The maniac got good lawyers. And he's using every last bit of the law to win it. Using the leaked pictures that caused you so much trouble as his main leverage.

He's been advised not to talk to you. But it's your birthday. And now seeing you moved on, new friends, new life. It feels like it's time to let go.

For your sake. He's only brought problems into your life. And you live a life now without him. He just hopes you're happy.

—--

You see him once, passing by through the city center. You want to run after him, grab his shoulders and shake him awake, scream and yell, beg for him to remember your promise. But you do none of that. The second your gaze meets his, your heart leaps to your throat, you blink and he's gone.

You get a text from him a few days later, first since your birthday.

Was nice seeing you.

You want to cry. What did he see? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It wasn't nice. Not at all. It was awful. It ripped any piece of sense out of you and made you sick.

You dont reply.

—--

You wish you had. He gets called to the national team, and suddenly your family begins to boast of your connection to him. And that's just it. Your connection. Not theirs. Yours. You know him, you love him. Or you knew him.

After so many years of cursing his name now they all but sing it.

The local community is hosting watch parties, you refuse to go.

You know the gossip around you as is. You don't need it said to your face. These people are unforgiving on their best days, cruel on their worst. More so the older generation who seems to hold not an ounce of basic human decency.

And somehow you find yourself in a room painted in blue and white, you look away at the stares you get when you walk in. You're regretting coming at all. You're wearing a blank jersey you've had for a while, slumped in the corner of the room, watching. Waiting for the comments to pour in sooner or later.

But they don't, not for now. Instead, the room erupts with cheers and applause as Jude scores a goal, you smile. Not bad for a midfielder huh. The air is electric with excitement, but you feel detached, as if you're watching the scene unfold from a distance, picking at the plate of sweets that rests on your knee.

As the game progresses, you can't help but steal glances at Jude on the screen. He looks different now, more confident, more assured. He's cut his hair, clean and precise. And yet, there's a sadness in his eyes that mirrors your own.

You wonder if he thinks of you, if he remembers the promise he made all those years ago. Has it really been years? But the thought is fleeting, lost amidst the chaos of the crowd and the weight of your own heartache. And soon I have a headache.

When the final whistle blows and England emerges victorious, the room erupts into celebration once again. But you slip out quietly, unnoticed, lost in your own thoughts.

Outside, the night air is cool against your skin as you make your way home. You're not waiting on anyone, and it's a short walk away. The streets are quiet, the sounds of celebration fading into the distance.

You pause for a moment, taking in the stillness of the night. And in that moment, you make a decision.

You may not have chased after him when you had the chance, but you refuse to let this be the end of your story. You refuse to let fear and doubt hold you back any longer. There is no use to let yourself be defined by what ifs.

With a determined step, you pull out your phone and type out a message to Jude.

Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.

It's a small gesture, but it's a start. And as you hit send, you feel a glimmer of hope stir within you.

Maybe, just maybe, this isn't goodbye after all. Maybe there's still a chance for the two of you to find your way back to each other, to rewrite the ending of your story.

But for now, all you can do is wait. Wait for his reply, wait for the future to unfold, and wait for the day when you can finally be together again, without fear or hesitation. In a way he'll always be your Jude.

——

News reaches you in the form of an instagram post on a summer day. Not family, not friends, not him. It’s your explore page that plasters it on your screen, in the middle of your morning routine you see him all tidied up in a suit, facing away from the camera, the side of his face illuminated by soft light. Next to his side is a woman in white, you only see a peek of her face but you call tell shes smiling.

“Just married.”

Married. Just. Married.

Oh.

You don't register it at first, the words looking more like a foreign language than any coherent sentence. So you finish brushing your teeth and your hair. Moisturizing your face, slipping back into bed and rereading it over and over and over again till it finally does click for you.

He gave up on waiting.

You keep going back to the picture. He's grown into a proper man now. His features are full and bright. He's gotten a different haircut. Leaving behind the one of his youth. You read through the comments of teammates and old friends congratulating him.

You realize the tie he's wearing is the one his dad got him when he first left for dortmund. You think you're gonna be sick.

No one bothers to ask why you've been crying all day. It's safe to assume everyone knows by now, hell the whole population probably does.

What changed his mind? What made it that he couldn't even bother to let you know beforehand?

And yet there's a stupid prick of hope that can't seem to go away. You're still waiting for him aren't you.

—--

As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks into months, the reality of his marriage settles heavily on your shoulders. You can't help but wonder if he thinks of you, if he remembers the promises made under the stars, if he regrets the choice he made. But you push those thoughts aside, burying them deep within you, because what good would they do?

A sick twisted idea of wrecking his home blooms in your mind, but you know you can't. You just can't. Not to him. You can't take away something like this from him.

Life goes on, as it always does, but the ache in your chest remains, a constant reminder of what could have been. You try to distract yourself with work, with friends, with anything that will keep your mind from wandering back to him. Yet, he's always there, lingering in the back of your thoughts like stardust.

You hear snippets of his life through mutual acquaintances, through social media posts, through the grapevine of gossip that always seems to find its way to you. He's thriving, it seems, his career reaching new heights, his personal life seemingly content. Apparently he has a kid on the way, would you look at that. And you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. To top it all off you still have no clue on who this woman is. Not who she is, what she does, where she's from. Absolutely nothing, it drives you mad to say the least.

He hasn't spoken to you. Not since that day in the city center.

Maybe if you would have known all that was to come you would've gone after him. Chasing him endlessly through cobblestone stress and crowded walkways. Would he have even stopped? Given you a moment of his day?

The same man who spent his days off in your apartment kissing your worries away and promising you a tomorrow you still cling to.

You're a foolish foolish woman. And for some reason, you don't hate him. You don't think you ever could. Even after everything, every single year that's passed. A part of you will always love him.

—--

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