#lack of intimacy

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . she began to crave his touch. But he was no longer interested in intimacy. For he had withdrawn into himself, much farther than before, and she couldn't reach him.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

#touch starved #lack of intimacy #withdrawn #closed off #shut out #unreachable #out of reach #sad #relationship problems #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #anna biller #bluebeard's castle

[anxiousmoonrambles]

marriage.

As I sit here late at night, alone, I can't help but wonder. I'm so tired of not feeling appreciated. I'm tired of not feeling loved. I'm tired of asking. I'm tired of talking.

We've been married for a year and nothing has changed. We have lived together for 3 years and nothing has changed.

I have brought up so many times how lonely I feel. How I want more intimacy and appreciation. I haven't seen and felt neither of those.

We kiss 3 times a day: when he leaves for work, whoever comes home second & before bed (if he's even awake to put me to bed - we sleep separate BTW). That's it.

We say I love you 2 times a day, unless I make sure to say it more often throughout the day.

I can't even remember the last time we held hands. Nor even when we had sex last.

I can't even get a good morning text first. Its fucking insane.

All my life, I have taken care of others. And for once I wanted to feel taken care of. And honestly, I dont feel that way.

Never in my life did I envision being married to be this way. I feel so stuck.

#marriage #marriage troubles #lack of intimacy #lonely

[xtrablak674]

Tentative Relationships

[Originally posted on my Blogger @ https://iconoclastic-narcissism.blogspot.com/ Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 10:35am, lightly edited for clarity.]

After a long phone call with my Aunt Mary and confirmation with Paul, I have come to a breakthrough about my relationship with my grandmother. I just begin to understand that my grandmother superficially did all the right things as a parental figure, but was severely lacking in intimacy. So lacking, that during the seven years I lived with her after my mother died, I never felt like her home was my home, but that I was a guest in her house. I don't mean this in a nasty or negative way, this was/is how I truly felt. I never truly felt welcomed there.

So it makes so much sense that even though I know the tasks of being a dutiful grandson, I never felt the inclination toward those duties due to my feeling uncomfortable at my grandparents house. This dynamic primarily centered around my grandmother, who dominated the relationship between my grandparents. My grandfather always receding to the background, I have never truly got to know the man.

My Aunt Mary had called to report on my grandfather's health issues and to inquire about the last time I had called my grandparents. I was very candid with her that with my grandmother's past behavior that had really debilitated an already tentative relationship, I didn't feel the need to interact with her other in the most passing polite fashion.

I was also clear with my Aunt Mary that calling their house was in essence calling "her" house because if "she" was home even if my grandfather answered the phone he would subsequently hand the phone to her. Something that for years irked me especially if we were in mid-conversation, but I realize that he just defers to her. Which does nothing but keep the distance between me and him, and puts the focus on my interaction with her, which notably after the incident is stilted, tense and uncomfortable.

I let my Aunt Mary know that after I left her house at eighteen years old I never looked back, never asked her for any kind of financial support of any sort. I did request the bonds my mother had left me, but that was money from my mother, not her.

I explained to my Aunt Mary how deeply hurt I was by her statement around the selling of the land issues when she threatened to "write me out of her will". I was insulted by the gesture, because I have never asked for a dime. I didn't even request to go live with her, that was my mother's wishes. And as soon as I made my own money I never looked back.

I concurred with my Aunt that they are not getting any younger, and I was very disappointed that my grandmother chose the route of rudeness, nastiness and disrespect as opposed to respecting the sacristy of our hard worked on relationship. But she made a choice and I know she is not at the age where she is changing and my Aunt agrees she will never admit to any wrong. I am not a child living in her house. I am an adult and I choose the relationships I will have. If the relationship is not one that is mutually beneficially, I frankly can do with out.

[Sixteen years ago, now being estranged from Aunt Mary and her sister being dead, there's not one emotion or inference that I disagree with from this journal entry from the past. I love to see that the clarity of my feelings about the relationship haven't changed and that their consistent. This feels like my truth. Photo by Brown Estate]

#blogger #journal entry #2008 #diary #family relationships #estrangement #intimacy #lack of intimacy #interpersonal relationships #looking back #mental health #complicated relationships #intergenerational trauma #grandmother #grandchild #black family

[time-woods]

Coming from what you just posted on Kofi, does being torn into feel good for Sidus? I know you wrote something along the lines of it hurting, but he wants Carma to do it... or is it more of the intimacy/trust that comes with it, maybe along the lines of revealing Sidus's "true" form?

good ask anon

it does hurt- but for certain reasons (that come up in the fic im doing)) sensations are weird for him- experiences in general. but it is also very much an intimacy thing- having someone be able to be that close to you- be that close to *what* you are, is a big part of it. (also yea def a trust thing- this also becomes relevant in the fic))

the best way i can explain how it feels for Sīdus would be like- i dont know how many of you have nerve damage but ill try to explain that sensation too (my experiences with it at least)- so when you touch your skin you feel it yea? that but you still feel it but not quite right- its like having the feeling under the skin but not on the skin your touching, just whats under it. its like the sensation of it is foggy and dull but you can still feel it- it can still hurt too. But for Sīdus its that really strange dampened sensory feeling

#chasing stars au #asks #its really hard to describe the feeling of technically the lack of feeling but still feeling #me ? projecting more of my own experiences ? neeever #but yea this can def just be read as an autistic view of sensory feelings in intimacy (mecore)

[slut4-haydenchristensen]

ghost: why are you squeezing me with your body?

soap: it’s a hug, si. i’m hugging you.

#ghost and his ever present aversion to touch #his lack of intimacy bless his heart #simon ghost riley #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #soap cod #soap call of duty #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #modern warfare 2 #incorrect call of duty quotes #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty

[moonlightphos]

I thought, "Must be lonely loving someone" Trying to find their way out of a maze

#sylvix #felix hugo fraldarius #sylvain jose gautier #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #artists on tumblr #lyrics are should've been me by mitski #inspired by the kiss by gustav klimt but as I was drawing it it started hurting me so I made it hurt me more #I have lots of thoughts about felix's capacity for intimacy throughout 3h and sylvain's general lack #in favour of riding the line between self sabotage and protection #if you get you get it #if you look close I put a delightful little scar on sylvain's nose to mirror miklan

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#im really struggling with the lack of intimacy they are getting #im so frustrated #im glad they finally got a bed scene #but come on would it really kill them to have a cuddle scene #the rookie #chenford #chenfordedit #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #melissa o’neil #eric winter #gif #gifs #gifset #5x16

[homicidalbrunette]

CATE BLANCHETT!!!

#cate blanchett #trixie mattel #Katya Zamolodchikova #trixya #i like to watch #lesbian moms #not a fan of this live #it lacks the domestic intimacy of it just being the two of them riffing as they watch tv together #and the edited in laughter was annoying #it reminded me of that canned laughter in old sitcoms

[howifeltabouthim]

'But we never talked about it. We talked about so many things, and we never talked about the thing I really need to talk about.' 'I know,' I said. 'Sometimes it feels like we never really talked about anything.'

Katherine Lin, from You Can't Stay Here Forever

#empty words #surface level #lack of intimacy #relationship #relationship dynamics #relatable #dialogue #sad #friendship #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #left unsaid #katherine lin #you can't stay here forever

[leixinyus]

#lee jae wook #jung so min #alchemy of souls #korean drama #manydramagifs #kdramaedit #alchemyofhugs #well this was a laughingly short gif series lmao #i just didn't continue the show after this and couldn't be bothered to skim through the episodes for the hugs #but yeah. their hugs were pretty nice ngl #the number one thing that made them so special even within the whole kdrama scene #was the lack of the hesitation in the physical intimacy #like sure jang uk hesitates for a while before answering to mudeok's hugs #but it's always for emotional reasons and not because there's a physical barrier between them #he's not hesitant to touch her lest he oversteps #and obviously consent is incredibly important. like. don't go touching people without their consent. #i just think that the ease of physical closeness that these two had is really rare in kdramas #specifically between opposite sexes #so it just brought an extra something to their hugs

[mokutone]

(image desc in alt text)

#my art #naruto #comics #yamato #yamato tenzo #maito gai #might guy #kakashi #anko mitarashi #genma shiranui #image desc in alt text #iruka umino kurenai yūhi and asuma sarutobi are all here also but. i dont wanna clutter their character tags #bc theyre only in the bg of a shot #i look at the image of yamato with the flowers and the color pallet reminds me embarassingly of all the like. mother mary sacred heart #iconography that one might find in CCD. visually theres nothing similar like mary doesnt radiate flowers or wear a NINJA MILITARY UNIFORM #but the corner of my eye catches me off guard #anyway #this isnt intended as romantic but it is certainly intimate and i shant fault a soul for ship-tagging it #besides. coupled with my platonic intimacy intentions...this is an undeniably queerly-oriented comic bc of the way it addresses skin hunger #speaking to a lack of experience in touching and handling others with gentle and affectionate hands how soothing it is to just #have a friend lie on you or let u play w/ their hair... #now in the real world w/ non cis or not het folks a lot of this touch starvation is because we internalize ideas about our mere presence #being something poisonous or toxic in some way—a danger or a rudeness that we have to keep people from interacting with #but in this Naruto Situation i suppose it must be less that Yamato was told his being is bad. and more that his being simply isnt #meant for human things like touch and moments of gentleness which serve no utility except for friendship and love... #tho at his age and lifestage in this comic he knows thats untrue. hes still cautious on allowing himself to indulge in it #the only part of my highschool life that made it survivable was this small group of other trans friends (tho not all of us knew we were) #and wed hang out in the corners of hallways on breaks and curl up and lay on each other and play with each others hands and hair and doodle #and share food and laugh and it was just. very simple and small and incredibly important to me #anyway. i wanted to give yamato some of that. so i am giving yamato some of that. mwah mwah

[larryhappiday]

TRIVIA: Emotional Loneliness and Lack of Intimacy 2

Below are the answers to part 2 of our trivia questions on emotional loneliness and lack of intimacy published in the Facebook Group Social Media Hangout platform for today March 23, 2024. 11. b) Lack of emotional support 12. b) False 13. b) Mental health issues such as depression 14. b) Denial of one’s feelings 15. a) True 16. b) It helps identify personal needs and feelings 17. c)…

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#Familygames #Intimacygames #lovegames #quizz #Relationship Challenges #alone #Emotional Intimacy #intimacy #Lack of Intimacy #loneliness #lonely #love #trivia

[songsintheattic]

thinking about all my friendships in the last ten years, those that have lasted and those that didn't, i've noticed one constant: people who have healthy boundaries by far make the best friends. people who simply won't let you be too much because they don't want it.

the other major thing is that overgivers are actually much worse to be around than selfish people. especially if you are an overgiver yourself.

it's easier to see things aren't working when you're dealing with a selfish person, but two overgivers get really enmeshed in a horrible way. and you almost can't even back track once you've let it get that far

so if you're worried about setting boundaries and having people not like you keep that in mind. it's the only way to have healthy relationships that actually last. people pleasers are not actually pleasing anybody lol

#and im not even really a people pleaser #i just used to be so desperate for any type of connection that i would throw everything i had into it #to try to earn affection #that is how i know I've grown a lot in the last few years #i used to overshare so bad because i just saw any type of intimacy as a good thing because it was so lacking in my life #and now i can just see those bids for connection and walk away like no i actually don't have to become an important person in your life

[folkloregirlfriend]

the intimacy of cooking something and asking someone to tastecheck it for you

#like. is the salt okay? too spicy? too sweet? is it cooked? what does it lack? top tier intimacy

[johnsilvers]

IF we'd gotten a silverflint forehead kiss it would most certainly make me convulse on the floor. it would most certainly also be a judas kiss of some sort. OR literally the most genuine display of affection. there's no in between.

#im thinking thoughts about the silverflint lack of physical intimacy. and how deliberate it is and how much it means in the story. #silverflint #james flint #john silver #black sails

[thebirdandhersong]

alas babes I literally cannot defend this man's name anymore except in the name of ignorance which. you can only claim ignorance for so long

#we established boundaries! no texting! limited contact! no teasing! #and what does he do the day i get sick. text me AND tease me through text #he's texted five times since (as in initiated conversation) and like. yeah i mean he's abnormally clueless but considering we had a whole #conversation where i explicitly said hey. i NEED the space. i need space if we're going to keep being friends #this is all a bit much :-) #thankfully i am 90% over him so this is not as painful as it would've been last month but sheeeeesh #i can't even defend him to my friends at this point because when i show them the texts they go what the actual hey is going on #i don't know if it's a matter of ignorance or lack of consideration or him trying to make things go back to normal #(except 'normal' for him was the time when i was crying like every day because i couldn't handle the emotional intimacy #of our strange friendship) or just sheer carelessness but mannnn what a situation #he told me that if he crosses a line to let him know and he'll course correct which like. yeah i mean i WAS thankful for that #but at the same time why is it my responsibility to draw the line why aren't YOU helping observe the line that #i drew earlier this month what is going ONNNN