"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"
dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.
but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.
the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.
so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.
we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.
now leave us alone.
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listening to my harley quinn playlist and wishing we got a harley quinn that was gross as hell, truly unhinged, and violent as all get out
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playing beat saber while high is an experience. i forgot i was wearing a vr headset and walked into the tv.
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Muppet Fact #697
In 2009, Kermit appeared at the MTV Video Music Awards with Lady Gaga as his date. As they shared kisses, Kermit claimed the two were just friends.
Source:
2009 MTV Video Music Awards.
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I am just going to go off on a tangent on the celebs that I think should play Greek gods:
Jack Harlow would slay as Apollo. There’s just something about him okay?
Christian Bale could totally pull off Zeus. I mean look at the material.
My sisters lesbian awakening, Kate Winslet, would kill it as Hera. (Always and forever will be a queen)
Lady Gaga as our beloved Demeter.
Keanu (Are we surprised he’s on this list) Reeves as Poseidon (No, I am not just missing him in point break… I am)
The gorgeous Catherine Zeta Jones as Hestia
Keke Palmer as Aphrodite (She’s always been so damn beautiful imo I also just LOVE how gold looks on her. A icon.)
Ashnikko as Artemis (Yes, the twins are both musicians. Also because her alternative style could easily blend and give us a Artemis portrayal that would make history)
Mila Kunis as Athena (I just think she would give us everything as Athena.)
As a Gubler enjoyer, him = Dionysus ✨✨ (As someone else said, he could also play Apollo. But only if Jack Harlow is unavailable but I really see Apollo as a musical oriented guy because Artemis was Ashnikko in my mind first and they’re twins so they gotta match and well… I just think Matthew dressed in a purple toga with gold armlets and anklets and a grape vine crown would get Gubler Nation screaming crying and throwing up.)
Ares could only be played by Daniel Radcliffe (Stick with me, okay) Imagine the comedy that could possibly come from short man syndrome. Like some monster is like “This is the Ares? God of War?” And then we see Daniel absolutely knock the shit outta them.
Lastly, our local actor who shouldn’t be allowed near water or to date anyone younger than 27 (I was legally obliged to make that joke but honestly all I know is he isn’t dating me and that my only issue with him jk jk …unless?) Leonardo DeCaprio as Hades.
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don't be sad when the sun goes down
you'll wake up and i'm not around
i've got to go (oh oh oh oh oh)
we'll still have the summer after all
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apparently its akin a conspiracy theory now to know that exercise can support weight loss 🤣
well at least youre exercising 🙏
oh no a „terf“ liking gnc women call the cops
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