Austin's Lady Bird Lake's toxic algae is back. Here are 7 excuses to never swim in it again.
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Austin's Lady Bird Lake's toxic algae is back. Here are 7 excuses to never swim in it again.
We regret to inform you that the lake is at it again. For the fourth consecutive year, a toxic blue-green algae has been found in Lady Bird Lake, a sample of which was collected at Red Bud Isle last week. This is the same algae that killed multiple dogs in 2019.
The city will spend $300,000 on treatment and lab testing to once again mitigate the problem. Beginning this week, 30,000 pounds of Phoslock — a portmanteau of “phosphorous” and “lock” — will go into multiple locations, including at Red Bud Isle and Festival Beach.
So, phew, right? Once they treat the water, it’s safe to hop back in, right? No. Never. I am here to provide a service, and that service is to say, once and for all, that no one should swim in Lady Bird Lake.
But against all reason, people are still jumping in. Is it because more than half of Austin’s pools remain closed during an extra-sweaty summer? Do they think there’s buried treasure at the bottom? Do I wish I had a third thing to self-referentially link to?
When I moved to Austin in February 2011, just before an eerily similar apocalyptic spring-into-summer, one of the first bits of advice I got from the locals was exactly this: Do not swim in Town Lake. That they called it Town Lake and not its official name, Lady Bird Lake, means that they predated the 2007 name change. Thus, even more reason to take their advice. Unless, of course, you consider that calling it Town Lake is also wrong etymologically because this body of water is not a lake, but a reservoir. It’s a damned dammed portion of the Colorado River.
“What is Town Lake?”
— Evil MoPac (@EvilMopacATX) June 10, 2022
Now that folks are taking a dip in Lady Bird Lake, it appears that someone is forgetting to pass along this advice to the 116 or so new residents to our fair city. I’ll take the blame and use my platform for good for once. I know that peer pressure can be difficult, particularly in the summer, when the combination of pomegranate Truly and an unforgiving, mean-spirited sun could make anyone hop into the nearest body of water.
Here are some free talking points for the next time someone asks you to jump in a (Lady Bird or Town) lake.
@tashamarieball Be careful about the water you’re getting in 🤦🏻♀️😭 #swimmersitch #rash #austintexas #ladybirdlake ♬ original sound – tashamarieball
“I’m trying a new skin care routine and it doesn’t include parasites.”
In all fairness — and I’m nothing if not fair — swimmer’s itch can happen in any non-chlorinated pool. It just so happened in this one very recently, went viral, and looked sickening.
“I would, but I already had zebra mussels for brunch.”
Visit Austin! When we have drinkable water it only sometimes smells awful.
It may look cute and also be very tasty, but I will never find out.
Mondadori Portfolio/Mondadori Portfolio via Getty Im
“Let’s not disturb the nutria!”
These giant beaver-slash-rat hybrids apparently taste like rabbit, which I will just have to trust is true.
“No thanks, I have warm White Claw aftertaste in my mouth and I don’t want to spoil it with delicious reservoir water.”
See above.
“I love having an alive dog.”
This is for if someone asks your dog to jump in Lady Bird Lake and expects Spot to provide an answer. Dogs can’t talk (yet), so this is what you’ll say.
“Let’s stay on top of our paddle boards, where we look extremely cool.”
Everyone looks cool on top of a paddle board, and many people are saying this. Stay warm, stay dry, stay looking chic as hell atop your board with this surefire excuse.
“It’s illegal!”
Alright, narc. Technically you’re right, though it feels impossible to get arrested for doing this thing that everyone seems to keep doing. It is “off-limits” to swim in Lady Bird Lake, but not because of pollution or parasites or zebra mussels or blue-green algae. No, no, no. As of 2017, Lady Bird Lake’s water has been given the prestigious “fair” rating. You can’t swim in it because there’s — uh — just a bunch of debris floating around in it? I, for one, feel better knowing this.
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love can build a bridge
this one’s the south congress bridge tho
#ladybirdlake #lake #lakeview #landscapephotography #naturephotography #bridge #southcongressbridge #architecture #architecturephotography #austin #austintx #austintexas #tx #texas #sonyphotography #sonya7iii #a7iii #tamron2875 #tamron #lightroom
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