#lailamber

[luaemeia]

— l.amb

07 cloud six // napowrimo prompt by ragewrites

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo #napowrimo20 #visual poetry #poetry #cloud six #seduction #perfume #dating #writers on tumblr #poetry on tumblr #seductress #soft boys #knife #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

A peeled orange splatters droplets

   (you can taste the juice in the air, all citrus and summer and     her dress)

The knife cuts sideways, gently, rebelling against the segments

   (she spools peanut butter with a knife and you can’t look away)

A slow bite and a burning tongue swirling away the membrane

   (her lips pink like blossoms open delicately and you kiss her, her tongue     tasting of pulp and zest, her hand on the grass and the breeze     whispering smiles in her hair,     she’s on her knees)

Empty shells on a dessert plate, the fruit swallowed and gone

   (it’s like June was made for her and so in June she stayed,     all sunset and daisy laughter and heart shapes carved in willow trees)

It’s been three Junes since and the oranges don’t taste the same but you peel another.

— l.amb

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo #creative writing #writing #delicate blossoms #summer #love #loss #grief #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

i wild feathers flutter and prickle the wind with a want to tickle that rests sub-sighed and bent, and the tire swing sways in a haunted spring kind of way under the willow tree

ii you sigh and god himself would fall at your feet for the sound and I ask who are you but all I get is the universe in the rings of your eyes and the devil in mine coils itself away

iii three-winged bird / twice-collapsed star / risen like skyfire / they call you amellia but there's no name for the strange thing you are / the moon howls for you and so do I / so do I

iv you say the world is dying as you eat a sugarplum and that's when you devoured me, whole and unchewed, all hard candied sweet and I think about scraping your knees in-between sheets and galaxies are made of the things you touch so won't you touch me please

v it's a different kind of feeling when two birds of a feather flock together but you know the stone is coming to kill us both (rara avis in rigor mortis) so make it your dying act to kiss me and maybe I'll live for once

— l.amb

05 rara avis // napowrimo prompt by ragewrites

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo #creative writing #spilled ink #writing #rara avis #love #teenage love #willow tree #galaxies #birds #living #sugarplum #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

Dearest,

    love should be a soft thing like a flutterbird     or the smell of spring and yet it rages in me like winter storms,     all consuming white and I am a fool falling for the cold moon

    how wolves howl in desperation is how my soul cries for you,     still you can't hear so I carry on demented in want and if only I could put it into words

    I want to write all over your skin     with my tongue and my lips and the tips of my fingers     what a beautiful love letter that would be if only,     if only

    deliver me the heart that beats in you     I'll drink your body like honey and read of your soul like papyrus

    could you breathe for me, dearest, my lungs tire of oxygen

    a writer will always write of what he knows and     if these words hold your mirror, what do they say,     what do they say, every sentence has its ending but if periods are bullets then darling,

    don't shoot the messenger, he's already dead.

— l.amb

06 love letters // napowrimo prompt by ragewrites

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo #creative writing #spilled ink #writing #love letters #love #writer's love #muse #writer's muse #soft thing #darling #unrequited feelings #unrequited love #death #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

Cradled fruits of drooping trees

  drop

  down

the lane smells of sweetrot and tombstones

   (pastel homes turned ghost houses)

and you almost can’t believe the cotton candy leaves all pink pretty trailing softly from laughing wisterias, branches clinging to you saccharine and snakelike and bees bumbling sucking the sweet out of the decaying fruit

   (a confetti cake on the floor, candles burning out and you were just a child)

ladybugs eating aphids and moss on the front door and

   (polka dot dress and you’re playing on the grass when they tell you mommy’s gone)

the house breathes a stale breath / you hold yours / and you’d like the kitchen to smell of pot roast and honey but it’s heavy with the stench of a hundred funerals and sour memories setting goosebumps

   (children crying and mothers screaming and families dying)

your dad’s words prickle your brain that baby it’s time to move on but humid phantoms embrace you and it feels like familiarity and seesaw wind and what better place to die than where you lived.

— l.amb

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo #creative writing #writing #the old wisteria lane #grief #loss #mourning #honey #wisteria #ladybugs #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

it's 4am somewhere and in the lupine night I follow your soft fingers tracing mine with a hunger that calls for a puncture and a casket & sure the thing that bites is ripe around my neck all predator & sure the wood fits tight like cages on a bird & sure you could talk me through my own funeral, lend me your jacket to keep borrow me deep in the dirt until I run out of oxygen or check on your prey and shine a light on a mouthful of maggots & sure ask me if I'd do it again another morrow.

— l.amb

09 the overmorrow // napowrimo prompt by ragewrites & vivisection // napowrimo prompt by avolitorial

#lailamber #merulia #useraya #napowrimo20 #poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poem #freeform poetry #seduction #vivisection #overmorrow #night #dating #death #casket #inkstain #hidden rhyme #funeral #oxygen #puncture #napowrimo #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

I am frightened of the thing that laughs.

It echoes in the dark and bounces off the walls and I - in the middle - stand or kneel, soul-crushed and unholied, and am unsure.

It laughs with teeth and its sour breath suffocates my throat (predatory and knowing of me) and spills my secrets from a tongue I do not recognise. It beckons me with fingertips touching bent vertebrae of a soul made piano /

    / unmelodic and all theory / crisp notes that wail in fear / silent void after a curtain drop /

    (doubt reverberating mildew falling soldiers laughing sins docile)

    and the crashing of the waves reveals the same siren call over and over again like a backwards clock /

I am there, here, in the dark with the laughing thing.

It laughs in the dark to scare the fear away and I laugh with it for it is me.

— l.amb

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo #creative writing #writing #laughter in the dark #trauma #ptsd #mental illness #music #music notes #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

How would it feel if the sky bled red like the blood on my lips and the moon howled back at you;

ugly little white monster running its fingers through the cracks of your door and the glass of your windows, gentle little tendrils ripping you apart smile to smile making its way to the caged bird part of you and breaking off its wings for fun / sinking its teeth into the lifeline of your soul, how would that feel.

There is a monster of coal teeth and fire eyes in the back of your head and she doesn’t like being looked at so you cover the mirrors and try to drown yourself in the shower but there isn’t enough water so

you touch the thing that breaks and watch yourself fall apart like an old wound / belittled small worthless / and the nest is empty and the eggs are rotten and the bird is dead and the monster smiles and you try not to feel anymore and

it works, but

even pooled blood feels warmer than this.

— l.amb

#lailamber #new writeblr #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #writing community #lit #literature #creative writing #prose on tumblr #poetry on tumblr #love #loss #depression #14th #February #2020 #February 14th 2020

[luaemeia]

— l.amb

10 breakfast with (a) god // napowrimo prompt by ragewrites

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo20 #haiku poem #haiku #creative writing #writing #breakfast with god #napowrimo #poetry #freeform poetry #poetry on tumblr #spilled poem #god #god speaks #breakfast #morning prayer #pray #war #coping #quarantine #inside #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

When you write, it’s about someone you love, isn’t it?

About the way they slip off your fingers every time you try and grab their hand, how even with a steady grasp you’ll never be the hold they want. About how soft edges turn jagged in your sleep and you turn the other cheek to keep tears from falling over like river streams on lullabies.

Perpetual is-he-here-will-he-show-up-will-she-show-up-is-she-here and smiles like howls and pain like the moment before the touch but the touch never comes. It’s that thing they do when their whole face is regret and your whole soul is a million little pieces but oh doesn’t it feel good, the want, the hunger, the willingness to break yourself for an untouched forever, the thing that fades away in you.

When you write, it’s about someone you’ve lost, isn’t it?

Yes, she said. It’s mostly about you.

— l.amb

#lailamber #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #literature #creative writing #prose on tumblr #love #loss #12th #December #2019 #December 12th 2019 #december prompt #someone you love

[luaemeia]

i honeybaby eyes, I know you're looking at the passing lights wondering if your soul, too, will be swallowed by the midnight sky but not even a dark hole would swallow something so beautiful

ii if a train leaves suburbia at midnight with two people and doesn't stop until they reach the end of their story but their lovers are on another train how messed up would that be?

iii honeybaby the moon is full and I know the wind keeps pushing you back but I promise I've seen the future in the palms of my hands when they hold your own

iv the future can’t keep up when you’re going ten thousand miles per hour and the past is all over the tracks sprawled open like a wound crawling into the gaping mouth of an earth made cemetery even the train doesn’t stop where I am but can you blame it v I don’t know where I’m going but I know your hands won’t take me there.

— l.amb

08 overheard on the midnight train // napowrimo prompt by ragewrites

#lailamber #merulia #napowrimo #napowrimo20 #poetry #writing #love #unrequited love #train #spilled ink #spilled words #poetry on tumblr #poets on tumblr #writing community #writers on tumblr #overheard on the midnight train #april #april 2020

[luaemeia]

Winter takes like a blade to the lungs and burns the skin off my vertebrae; I breathe - unprotected - and the reflection is you.

Melancholy, the name on your fingertips, bruises the nape of my neck. There’s a bite there, sunken skin and a love wound. It’s the way you say my name that makes it bleed, over and over again, scabbing like snowflakes in cement

(god I wish you’d stop)

but it’s two am behind my eyes and it’s been like that for a few years now; dark and foggy and quiet

(when will the sun come up)

a wolf howls to the moon and she shies away and

(god it’s even darker now)

Maybe if I’m loud enough I’ll wake myself up, maybe if I walk barefoot in the snow someone will track me down, maybe if I‌ rub salt in the wound it won’t hurt so bad,

maybe the wolf will bite me this time.

— l.amb

#lailamber #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled words #writing community #creative writing #prose on tumblr #poetry on tumblr #love #loss #depression #11th #December #2019 #December 11th 2019

[luaemeia]

Between the railroad tracks and the cold cement, I put a knife to your throat and told you that’s how it felt to be me. Hell calls to me by name in whispers and I answer in nightmares and broken words but the handle isn’t soft enough and the blade won’t open its mouth.

Between the melted snow and the angry sky I put your hand on my lips and asked you if fog came out of my mouth. Death is stranded between my ribs and slows my heart right down to a crawl but never stops, never stops, never stops.

Between the silence and the breathing you asked me if there’s anything you could do to help but you didn’t talk loud enough to muffle the callings and the crawlings and the knife

- the knife, the knife -

the wounds aren’t deep enough.

— l.amb

#lailamber #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #writing community #lit #literature #creative writing #prose on tumblr #poetry on tumblr #depression #3rd #April #2019 #April 3rd 2019

[luaemeia]

We weren’t told about this;

about how we come to the world violent and screaming, torn but parasitic with blood in our mouth but no air in our lungs - how we make mothers cry and fathers fall apart.

We - the ones who come unknowingly, unbeckoned - undeserving of the system   were not told about this;

about the shattered, the shattering unforgiving glass upon trenches, baphomet wine in angel cups and silver linings drenched in sulphur gold.

We - estranged and strangled, children of nobody -   were not prepared for this world:

clammy and caged in, bursting with ravenous unsatisfied rage of something broken, something other. Viscous, grandmother’s honey, all but dead when it swallows us whole to spit us right back out and god.

We weren’t told about this; otherwise, why would we be here?

— l.amb

#lailamber #new writeblr #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #literature #creative writing #prose on tumblr #poetry on tumblr #9th #April #2019 #April 9th 2019 #world #violence #birth #children #baphomet #god

[luaemeia]

I think of you like one would think of shotgun kisses -

 bite sized little pieces of death, a sharp sound  a heartbeat  a metallic taste in the tongue and just enough splatter  to make me salivate.

— l.amb

#lailamber #new writeblr #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #writing community #lit #literature #creative writing #prose on tumblr #poetry on tumblr #love #loss #depression #24th #February #2019 #February 24th 2019 #shotgun kiss #death #tongue

[luaemeia]

We have flesh made of fireflies and curved spines made of sunken bones and hopeless hoping, monsters living in the dark circles of our eyes and in the space between our teeth; we’re made imperfect and blamed for it, crushing souls from birth until death parts us from the humiliation of living in a world made for them in spite of us.

We scramble to breathe the moment we arrive and are made to scream all the way through like a sacrifice we never knew was in the contract of life but here we are and they can’t be stopped but

we can’t be stopped either so we pick at our scabs and never let the wound heal to remind us to keep fighting against whatever they are until our breath is taken from us with forceful silence and hatred in disguise but remember how they can’t break us because to them we were born broken already

but god carved the same scar into all of us, even them, even them

even if they hide their own, we can see it and we know it, they bleed from it just like we do, that’s how badly they want to hurt us before we hurt them, because if we see their blood dripping we’ll want more and

you’re not so different from us after all, are you?

and we’ll force them out of their pedestal, they shiver and sweat at the thought of it

so here we are, scars blazing, the fire in our eyes burning the monsters away until all we have is ashes on our hands and broken ground beneath our feet, bones healed and lips smirking because we see our future in their eyes but in the end they’re blind and dying and we were born oh so much stronger than they ever saw possible -

- and when the war is over we’ll be the last ones standing, fireflies in our eyes and flowers in the space between our teeth, lips smiling because we saw the future and we took it for ourselves.

— l.amb

#new writeblr #writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #writing community #lit #literature #creative writing #prose on tumblr #poetry on tumblr #2nd #October #2018 #October 2nd 2018 #lailamber #feminism #women