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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Beautifully Spent

aka Five Times Lan Qiren Left The Lan Sect Behind

- Chapter 5 -

It didn’t matter how many years it had been, or that he had died and returned in a different body, or even that he was now a married man, an adult, well-respected by the whole cultivation world – being summoned to have tea with Lan Qiren still had a way of making Wei Wuxian feel like a disobedient schoolboy all over again.

He thought that they were on better terms now than they had been before, at least. At some point after he’d finally settled into the Cloud Recesses for good, Wei Wuxian had started assisting Lan Qiren with his classes, or perhaps more accurately, Lan Wangji had made a request with an eye towards his uncle’s uncertain health, Lan Qiren had refused, and Wei Wuxian had bullied his way in to act as an aide anyway by simply showing up and refusing to leave.

At first, he’d thought Lan Wangji’s idea was a terrible one, thinking that after all he was on bad terms with Lan Qiren, who disapproved of him as a general matter and of Lan Wangji’s relationship with him in specific, and therefore that they were on such bad terms that his presence would only make things worse. Only…one day, he had seen Lan Qiren coughing into his sleeve after they’d all had a brief scare as a result of a badly phrased letter from Lan Sizhui and spotted blood, and then suddenly been assaulted by the memory of Lan Qiren bleeding from all his qiqiao, crying out half-unconscious for Wei Wuxian to stop butchering his flute playing as if that was the only thing he remembered how to condemn.

It was not a memory that Wei Wuxian particularly enjoyed – the man had been his teacher, after all.

So despite his misgivings, he’d gone ahead and done it, and brazened it out the way he always did. They’d fought like cats and dogs at the start, Lan Qiren tetchy and querulous, Wei Wuxian too often inclined to argue just for the sake of arguing, but just as he’d been on the verge of giving it all up as a bad idea, Lan Wangji had, in his oh-so-serious way, told Wei Wuxian that he did not need to assist his uncle if he thought he couldn’t handle it and that, of course, had only lit a fire under his ass to actually manage it.

(Yes, he knew that Lan Wangji had done it on purpose, but it wasn’t like he didn’t use his own sexy wiles to convince Lan Wangji of all sorts of important things, like having a drink with him once in a while.)

At any rate, Wei Wuxian had gritted his teeth and forced himself to play along a bit better with Lan Qiren’s monotone lecturing, and after a while he found to his surprise that assisting with the classes actually wasn’t anywhere near as boring as he thought it would be. In turn, Lan Qiren had eased up a little on him, explaining the reasons behind what he was doing upon request, and things started to work better, little by little.

And now – now they were having tea.

Weird.

“You’ve adjusted well to the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Qiren said, accepting the tea Wei Wuxian poured for him. His voice was neutral and monotone, but Lan Wangji had assured Wei Wuxian that his uncle’s voice always sounded like that, and sure enough all the classes they shared together seemed to bear it out. Even when he was horribly upset and coughing up blood, his voice stayed as toneless and dull as ever; the only thing he really adjusted was the volume.

“Ah, I’ll never quite get the hang of when you wake up,” Wei Wuxian said, automatically deflecting, but Lan Qiren shook his head.

“Ancillary rule,” he said, and a few months of sitting in on Lan Qiren’s classes made Wei Wuxian ponderously put his hands together and say, using his own best monotone, “Ancillary rules support the fundamental rules. Even the keystone in an arch doesn’t stand alone.”

Lan Qiren nodded, serious despite Wei Wuxian’s attempt at teasing (clearly unsuccessful). “And yet you have adjusted to the underlying purpose of the rule regarding when to wake, which is to fill as much of your day with meaning as possible. Your relationship with Wangji is going well?”

Wei Wuxian choked a little. “Uh, yes.” He hoped Lan Qiren wasn’t thinking of dissuading him now – they were already married! Lan Qiren had even participated, accepting Wei Wuxian’s respect in the place of Lan Wangji’s parents. “Did you have any…questions…?”

Lan Qiren shook his head. “You’ve also repaired your relationship with Jiang Cheng, have you not?” he said instead, changing the subject, and – on firmer ground – Wei Wuxian nodded. “Good. He’s an excellent sect leader.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Wei Wuxian said, feeling fond as always when he thought of Jiang Cheng. “He grew up so well.”

It would have been better, of course, if Wei Wuxian had been able to be by his side – but it hadn’t been meant to be, and now they were getting over that.

Lan Qiren nodded.

There was a few moments of silence, and just as Wei Wuxian was wondering if it was his turn to come up with a conversational subject, Lan Qiren put down his cup.

“Xichen has been out of seclusion for over a year,” he said. “Wangji helps him with the work of sect leader, but the bulk has returned to his hands, and he is doing well with it.”

“Yes, definitely,” Wei Wuxian said, but he had to admit he was a little puzzled as to where this conversation was going. It seemed clear that Lan Qiren was leading somewhere, but with all these subject changes, he couldn’t keep up. “Teacher Lan, what’s your point?” he asked, taking a sip of his own tea.

“I want you to take over my classes.”

Wei Wuxian choked.

Lan Qiren politely waited for him to catch his breath. “I’m serious.”

Wei Wuxian had just been about to ask if he was joking. “Why?” he asked. “You love teaching classes.”

It was true, too. He hadn’t appreciated it as a child, seeing only the old man hiding in Lan Qiren’s bones, but Lan Qiren truly loved teaching students – and he was good at it, too. It was impossible to teach those that didn’t want to be taught, so for a reckless idiot like Wei Wuxian who hadn’t been willing to listen, he’d ordered him to copy the rules as a punishment; as a result, to this day, Wei Wuxian could still recite each and every one of them. If Wei Wuxian hadn’t gotten into that fight with Jin Zixuan and been pulled out of the classes so recklessly back then, he might’ve had the chance to learn what he was learning now – not just the basic foundation of what the rules were, but why each rule existed, the history and background of it, the debates and complexity about its meaning, the way each rule intersected with all the others. How the rules, even when seemingly meaningless, had a life and background of their own; how they could be associated with various points of good conduct, of righteousness and ethical behavior.

When they could be broken, and why.

Lan Qiren might be an old man from the bottom of his soul, he might speak in a monotone and be stiff and unyielding and stubborn, slow to change his fixed views on things and even slower to pick up on sarcasm or undue cleverness, but he worked with each student on how to understand what he was trying to convey, teaching them not only the content of his lectures but how to learn. He wasn’t especially patient, wasn’t especially gentle, was overly strict, but his students learned – sometimes despite themselves.

And now…he wanted to give up on his classes?

“Is something the matter?” Wei Wuxian asked, distressed despite himself, thinking of bad blood welling up in Lan Qiren’s chest – thinking of all the stupid things he’d done to aggravate him, whether now or in the past. Had the old man’s health really gotten that bad?

“Nothing is the matter,” Lan Qiren said. “And my health is fine, no matter what Wangji might have you think. It is merely a matter of time. Of time, and of dreams.”

“Of…dreams?”

“Mm,” Lan Qiren said, and for a moment he sounded exactly like Lan Wangji. “When I was a child, I once dreamed of being a traveling musician. I thought I’d roam the world, playing for anyone who would listen, and when I had my fill of wanderlust, return home – retire – teach.”

Wei Wuxian had had no idea. He could scarcely imagine Lan Qiren as a child – no, he couldn’t imagine it at all. Much less wanting to leave the Cloud Recesses as something as daringly bold as being a traveling musician! Not even a rogue cultivator, but a traveling musician!

The brief moment of glee that the image inspired got snuffed out a moment later when he recalled why, exactly, Lan Qiren had never gone out to fulfill his childhood dream. He knew the story well by now, the story of Lan Wangji’s father and mother, their mutual disaster. Wei Wuxian was intimately familiar with sacrificing everything for his loved ones, but he couldn’t even imagine how it must have been to be Lan Qiren – his dreams destroyed by his brother’s selfish actions, another person’s love affair leaving him chained to his sect and raising two children as if they were his own.

Even Jiang Cheng had the comfort of knowing that his life had been destroyed by an enemy.

“I became a teacher prematurely,” Lan Qiren said, nodding when he saw the light of recognition in Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “I have enjoyed it, as I always expected I would. But it is not enough. It is time.”

“Time?” Wei Wuxian echoed, and then realized: “You want to be a traveling musician? Now?”

Surely it was impossible.

Lan Qiren was – not old, no, not really, but his health was bad; he had never recovered from the attack on the Cloud Recesses, from Wen Xu’s vicious attacks that had nearly crippled him. Moreover, he wasn’t just some nobody who could go around unnoticed – he was the only sect leader left from his generation, even if he had technically only played an interim role, and more than that, he was the honorable teacher Lan Qiren, who could turn any waste into a gentleman. He’d taught hundreds of students over the years – Wei Wuxian had seen the records – and he counted among his students some of the most influential people in the cultivation world.

Even Wei Wuxian, who’d been in his class only a month or so and spent most of it in punishment, felt distress at the thought of Lan Qiren trudging through the mud of the mortal world with a guqin on his back, playing for his supper. How would those who had actually done well in his class feel?!

“It will not be as I originally imagined,” Lan Qiren said, entirely calm. “I plan to visit my former students, if they would have me there, and travel only between their homes – it will not be as stressful as the life of a rogue cultivator. I will have the sect’s resources available to assist me. It will be fine.”

“But -!”

“Xichen is sect leader, and recovering well from what he lost. Wangji is your husband, and happy. The only thing binding me to the sect now is my students – and you have helped me with my classes for months now. You are charming and thoughtful, charismatic; the students listen to you. You will do well with it.”

“I don’t know all the rules!”

“You know enough.”

“But – but –”

“If you say no, I cannot go,” Lan Qiren said, and he didn’t even sound angry about it, merely accepting. “I have a duty to see to the juniors’ education. I would entrust you with it, but I will not force it upon you. But I would very much appreciate it if you would agree. Will you do it?”

If I say no, I’d be the one locking you here, Wei Wuxian thought, and swallowed. That didn’t seem right.

“…all right,” he said, and was rewarded by one of Lan Qiren’s rare smiles. “But you have to get me up to speed first!”

“Of course,” Lan Qiren agreed. “I will plan to go only after the New Year, in the spring. I will tell Xichen and Wangji of my decision this evening.”

Wei Wuxian felt his heart freeze at the thought of their reaction at discovering their beloved uncle’s plans – and finding out that he had played a critical role in enabling it.

“Uh,” he said. “I…may need to go out tonight. For a – thing. Important thing! Very…Lotus Pier! I’m going to the Lotus Pier! Urgently!”

Lan Qiren looked at him, unimpressed.

“It will not be that bad,” he said. “They will understand, and there is no reason for them to be concerned.”

“Oh yeah?” Wei Wuxian said, and crossed his arms. “Want to bet on that?”

#mdzs #wei wuxian #lan qiren #my fic #my fics #beautifully spent

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